#because i could not edit this down any further
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starryeyedjanai Ā· 11 months ago
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Every Saturday night for the past few months has been Steveā€™s date night with a random assortment of girls.
And every Sunday morning, Eddie goes to Family Video to hear about how it went, trying so hard not to feel like a bad friend when he finds out that it hadnā€™t worked out.
The few times when Steve told him there would be a second date felt like a crushing blow, but then the next Sunday would come around and heā€™d listen to Steve lament about never finding ā€œthe oneā€.
So heā€™s surprised to come home on Saturday to find Steve sitting on the front stoop of his trailer.
ā€œHey,ā€ he says, confusion in his voice. ā€œWhat are you doing here? Thought you had a date.ā€
Steve stands up and lets Eddie unlock the door before following him inside.
ā€œI canceled my date,ā€ Steve says and when Eddie looks at him, thereā€™s an expression on his face that Eddie's never seen before.
ā€œYou canceled? Did something happen?ā€ he asks, running through a list of scenarios that would cause Steve to cancel a date and not liking any of them. Was someone hurt? Was it Upside Down related?
The sudden anxiety must show on his face because Steve steps forward and says, ā€œNothing bad. I justā€”I realized something.ā€
ā€œYouā€”?ā€ Eddie cuts himself off with a quiet gasp when Steve steps even closer, the tips of their shoes touching.
ā€œI realized I wasn't excited to be going on a date. That the part I was most excited about was seeing you in the morning to tell you about it.ā€
His hand comes up to cup Eddie's face and Eddie leans into it, his heart racing, thudding so loud he can hear it in his ears.
ā€œIā€”I think Iā€™d much rather be going on a date with you than anyone else,ā€ Steve says, his voice hesitant.
ā€œIā€™d much rather you go on a date with me than anyone else too,ā€ Eddie says, finding his voice again.
Steve smiles and it lights up the entire fucking room like sunlight peeking in from the window, spreading warmth all over Eddieā€™s body. ā€œYeah?ā€ he asks, like he can't believe that Eddie feels that way, like thatā€™s the surprise here.
ā€œYeah,ā€ he whispers, his eyes drawn down when Steve licks his lips.
ā€œCan I kiss you?ā€ Steve asks, and Eddie is helpless to say anything but yes.
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ninjagirlstar5 Ā· 4 months ago
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So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)
SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.
At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:
"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"
I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:
"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fadingā€¦when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audienceā€¦
Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"
Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.
And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. Itā€™d be cliche probably but itā€™s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.
And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:
"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.
And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."
And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):
"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."
"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."
"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. Itā€¦surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinderā€¦
ā€¦And she realizes that she hates it.
She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.
She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.
She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.
She hates her.
But she loves her.
She wants her to be with her, forever.
So why won't she ever look her way?
Why, why, why?
Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.
And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third dayā€¦Kanade finally snaps.
She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone elseā€¦and definitely not SETSUKA!
And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.
The scuffle was shortā€¦but the result was predictable."
"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.
Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn'tā€¦she neverā€¦she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsukaā€¦No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?
Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.
And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply lovesā€¦and hates."
"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sisterā€¦and make sure she'll never change again.
But if she losesā€¦then she'll die. She'll dieā€¦
ā€¦and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.
Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.
But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.
Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is sheā€¦? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?
And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentmentā€¦finally blows up at Hibiki."
"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yetā€¦despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sisterā€¦
And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone elseā€¦!
Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got closeā€¦and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She justā€¦didn't mean to kill her. It justā€¦happened. But Kanadeā€¦doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran outā€¦and now she's going to die.
But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.
[After all, they're] sisters, rightā€¦? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"
"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."
"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happenā€¦until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:
"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'
"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.
And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.
Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanadeā€¦and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.
By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.
Why she had done it.
She had done it for her.
She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.
She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.
And the people that had been hurt because of Kanadeā€¦was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sisterā€¦! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of herā€¦!!
Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."
"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying herā€¦but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between themā€¦and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."
"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:
The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was thisā€¦her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to themā€¦if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's doneā€¦but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on trackā€¦eventually."
"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.
Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for thatā€¦but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from itā€¦but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she didā€¦but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start toā€¦actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurtureā€¦and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had nowā€¦then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]ā€¦
[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"
"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a personā€¦but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."
"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sisterā€¦one way or another."
And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.
Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.
#SDRA2#Kanade Otonokoji#Hibiki Otonokoji#Super Danganronpa Another 2#SDRA2 Spoilers#sprite edit#Star's Art#look I won't pretend that people like canon!Kanade can't exist - me and my friend both know that#the problem is what's the POINT in making Kanade into a serial killer that's turning her sister into a puppet that it serves the narrative?#Is it meant to be foreshadowing and how that's exactly what's happening to Yuki - so he can be broken down and be replaced with Utsuro?#if so then it's not done very well since it's barely touched upon - let alone never ever called back to it ONCE - to be proper foreshadowin#And it even costed a character her own development for the sake of a twist that's nothing more than shock value - losing what could've been#-a really good character/concept in the process#and the reason why Hibiki's arc up to that point was so effective was BECAUSE she's done bad things and mistreated her sister so often#it gave us a reason to see her grow as a person because she's immature and flawed. this arc would have not worked if Hibiki was softer-#-or kinder at the start. And we just...lost that before it could develop even further.#so my approach was basically take out all the serial killer BS (and heavily implied incest) and tone down a fuck ton of Kanade's actions#She's still a toxic person but has been hiding her awful behavior for years in an attempt to keep her sister tied down to her#and just not excusing any of Hibiki's past actions or Kanade's own actions either
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littlexdeaths Ā· 8 months ago
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what are friends for? - e.m.
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best friend eddie munson x fem reader
18+ ONLY MDNI
warnings: period talk/period blood, eddie is the sweetest as always, grinding, fingering, one singular use of daddy
a/n: thank you to @callsignraver for the title idea šŸ¤­ the eddie edit was made by me! you can use it, just please credit my side blog (strangergraphics), if you do. now enjoy xx.
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ā€œCome on, sweetheart. You can tell me,ā€ he sounds so sincere, which is why you canā€™t even look at him.
Because looking at him would just open a set of floodgates that you arenā€™t prepared to deal with right now.
Looking at him is only going to fuel the fire that is raging in your lower abdomenā€” that was lit the moment you stepped foot in the trailer.
A fire that heā€™s been steadily stoking with each brush of his fingertips against yours as you reach for more popcorn. Or when his knee bumps casually into yours as he shifts on the small sofa.
Which for someone as fidgety as Eddie Munsonā€” was a lot.
ā€œI promise Iā€™m not gonna laugh or anything, just tell me whatā€™s wrong.ā€
Your best friend had been able to pick up on the shift in your mood almost immediately. But he chose not to comment on it until now, unable to handle it any longer.
But how in the hell were you supposed to tell him that itā€™s his fault? That heā€™s driving you crazy?
That you want nothing more than to have his fingers buried inside you?
ā€œYou wouldnā€™t get it,ā€ you sigh, shifting your body further away from him on the sofa.
Clinging onto the arm for dear life as you pretend to watch the clash of light sabers on the tv screen.
His snort has your eyes rolling.
ā€œTry me.ā€
Your hands move up to rub your temples, eyes slipping shut.
ā€œItā€™s a dumb girl thingā€”ā€
He jumps up off the sofa before you can even finish your sentence, returning from the bathroom mere moments later with a bottle of Advil in tow.
Eddie doesnā€™t register your confused expression as he stands before you, holding out the bottle.
ā€œCramps, right?ā€ he asks, a kind smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You feel embarrassed, because of course thatā€™s what he would think. Heā€™s heard you drone on and on about it over the years. He only wants to help, like the kind friend that is he is.
Friend, being the keyword here.
ā€œI umā€¦ā€ you mumble, taking the bottle from his outstretched hand.
You attempt to ignore the heat that continues to pool in between your thighs as you stare at the veins protruding from his hand. The way his thick fingers were previously gripping onto the pill bottle.
How they would feel gripping your inner thighsā€¦.
No. Stop it.
You mentally scold yourself, chewing on your lower lip as he takes a seat on the sofa.
ā€œI appreciate it, but thatā€™s not the issue.ā€
Now heā€™s the one who looks confused, leaning forward as he scratches at the stubble on his jaw.
ā€œThen what is it?ā€ he prods.
Eddie knocks his knee into yours again, tingles shooting up your spine from the subtle touch.
ā€œItā€™s just, Iā€™m feelingā€¦ā€
ā€œTired?ā€
ā€œNo.ā€
ā€œBloated?ā€
ā€œNo!ā€
ā€œHangryā€”ā€
ā€œHorny!ā€ you shout, startling you both, ā€œIā€™m horny.ā€
Your voice has gone soft, a near whisper compared to your previous volume. The air around you is suddenly thicker, and you are once again unable to meet his gaze.
ā€œOh,ā€ he says after a long pause.
ā€œYeah, oh.ā€
You feel the tips of your ears warming as you continue to stare down at your lap. The beginning chords of the imperial march are the only thing filling the uncomfortable silence between you.
ā€œI mean, I could always help you,ā€ he replies finally.
His words cause your eyes to shoot up in surprise, your head turning to meet his molten hues.
ā€œThatā€™sā€” I wouldnā€™t ask you to do that, Ed.ā€
His ringed hand suddenly reaches over to rest on your knee, fingers slipping beneath the rips in your jeans.
ā€œWhat if I want to?ā€
Now youā€™re the one rendered speechless.
ā€œWhat if I have wanted toā€¦ for a long time,ā€ he continues, his other hand reaching up to cup your cheek.
His thumb brushes over your lower lip, determination in his eyes as he leans further into your space. You canā€™t help how your body gravitates towards him, your hands clutching onto the soft cotton of his t-shirt.
You can feel the way his breath mingles with yours, nicotine and movie theater butter. But itā€™s the flecks of honey in his eyes that break down your remaining defenses.
You answer him with a kiss, lightly pressing them to his. Testing the waters. Eddie eagerly deepens it, pulling you in closer until youā€™re in his lap. Your thighs bracket his hips, his hands encircling your waist.
The kiss becomes heated, faster than either of you are prepared for. You lower your hips harder onto his lap, inhaling his soft gasp as your bodies meld together. His grip tightens on your hips as you eagerly grind yourself against his crotch, welcoming the friction.
ā€œHold on, baby.ā€ He groans again, his large hands stopping any further movement.
Baby.
Heā€™s never called you that before.
Your lower lip juts out in a pout as he maneuvers you off of his lap, and back onto the soft cushions of the sofa. The male quickly sinks to his knees, his hands splaying across the tops of your thighs as he works himself between them. He chuckles at your expression, shaking his head slightly.
ā€œPatience, pretty girl,ā€ he hums as his hands slide further up your thighs until they reach the button on your jeans. ā€œLetā€™s get these off, yeah?ā€
Your nerves suddenly kick back into gear, despite the flames continuing to lick your skin. Eddie has become so tuned into your emotions over the years that he can sense this new shift immediately. This was an emotion he has seen plenty of times, but it was never because of him.
The notion has his hands freezing as they hover over the closure of your jeans.
ā€œShit, did I do something wrong?ā€
You quickly shake your head, letting out a nervous laugh. ā€œI justā€¦ donā€™t wanna make a mess.ā€
His expression softens as you gesture to the tan sofa beneath you. The male rises to his feet without another word, darting over to the laundry basket that is seated on top of their washing machine. He digs through a pile of clothes until he finds whatever heā€™s searching for.
A dark maroon towel.
He clutches the soft fabric in his hands as he makes his way back to you, resuming his previous position between your legs. He sets it next to you, his brown eyes nervously shifting between your thighs and your face.
ā€œYou can touch me, Eds,ā€ you say, carefully taking his hands in yours to guide them up to the clasp on your jeans.
Eddie doesnā€™t need to hear anything else.
He makes quick work of removing your jeans, tugging the denim down your thighs. His eagerness has you giggling, the tops of his cheeks flushing a light pink even in the muted light.
He pauses for a moment, leaning back as he drinks in your newly exposed skin. His eyes darken even further as his calloused fingers grip the hem of your cotton panties.
ā€œGod, take them offā€” please,ā€ you whine, no longer caring if you sound pathetic.
Youā€™ve waited far too many years for this to happen, and your patience has finally run out. Eddie chuckles, sliding your panties (pad and all) down your thighs. The male carelessly tosses them over his shoulder, ignoring your small protest.
ā€œLift up,ā€ he hums, motioning you to guide your hips up.
He easily slides the towel beneath you, letting your body relax against the plush material. Eddie gently rests his hands over the tops of your thighs once more, beginning to spread them even wider. Your cheeks warm as his eyes zero in on your core, whining softly as he licks his lips.
ā€œChrist,ā€ he breathes, inhaling deeply as he notes the way your arousal shines in the glowing light of the tv.
He leans back for a moment, dark eyes flicking up to meet your gaze as he slowly slides each of those gaudy rings off his fingers. Eddie takes his time in doing so, the clink of metal echoes in your ears as he gathers them in his palm.
ā€œGimme your hand,ā€ he says softly, but the command in his voice lingers all the same.
You hold out your left hand towards him, ignoring the way it trembles as he begins to slide each of his large rings onto your fingers. His dimples indent his cheeks as he grins, carefully lifting your knuckles to his lips. He presses a soft kiss to each one, ensuring that he keeps his eyes trained on you as he does so.
ā€œKeep those safe for me, sweetheart.ā€
He winks playfully, leaning forward to brush his lips over the bare skin of your shin. His hands hook under your knees, allowing you to drape your legs over his shoulders. His movements have slowed drastically, taking his time before his fingers finally dip between your thighs.
Your soft gasp spurs him on, his fingers running through your drenched folds. He gathers your arousal on his fingertips, dragging them up to encircle over your swollen bud. You let your body relax against the couch cushions, allowing your eyes to slip shut as he continues his gentle touches.
But as soon as his touch startsā€” it stops just as fast.
A whine spills past your lips as his large hands wrap around the meat of your thighs and squeeze.
ā€œEyes on me, baby,ā€ he coos, pressing his lips to the curve of your knee.
His teeth lightly nip at the skin there, causing your eyes to flutter back open.
ā€œYes, sir,ā€ you giggle as he groans.
His fingers are back on you before you have time to mention his reaction, circling your entrance before dipping inside slowly. It causes your breath to hitch, his middle finger able to stretch you out better than any of yours ever have.
Eddie curses under his breath as he adds another, your body almost greedily sucks him in. Your hand instinctively reaches forward to grip onto his bicep. The rings that adorn your hand are biting into his skin, the thought alone makes his jeans impossibly tighter.
ā€œGod, youā€™re so wet,ā€ he moans, guiding his fingers even deeper inside you.
You reply with a soft whine, your thoughts entirely too jumbled to provide him with anything else. His eyes have momentarily dropped from your face to where his fingers are nestled inside you. He slides them back out, admiring the sticky pink mixture thatā€™s coating his thick digits.
ā€œEddie, donā€™t tease,ā€ you huff, guiding your hips back towards his awaiting hand.
Your impatient attitude has him chuckling, those dark hues flicking up to meet yours again.
ā€œOh, you want these back, baby?ā€ He taunts, his other hand gripping onto your thigh as he eases three of the digits inside your entrance.
The brunette holds them there, enjoying the way your body begins to squirm beneath him. Taunting you.
ā€œGo on, say it, sweetheart.ā€
He raises a brow at you, slightly pushing his fingers in deeper, before he quickly retracts them with your continued silence. Repeating the action.
ā€œI wantā€¦ā€ you start, but the curl of his fingers makes you lose your train of thought.
ā€œHmm, you want what?ā€ he prods.
He completely removes them from your entrance, ignoring your pleading eyes as he slides them back up to dance around your clit.
Your soft mewl of his name does nothing to deter his actions, it only slows them.
ā€œCome on, use that pretty little head of yours,ā€ he hums as the tips of his fingers graze over your swollen bud.
ā€œGod, justā€” please!ā€ your voice raises an octave, taking on a breathy quality.
The corner of his mouth pulls up in a smirk as he tilts his head at you. His fingers dip lower, circling over your puckered hole.
ā€œYa know, while I usually prefer something along the lines of masterā€¦ or even daddy,ā€ he muses, noting how your breath hitches.
ā€œGod, sure has a nice ring to it.ā€
His head falls back as he laughs, a playful pout adorning his lips as you swat at him. Those simmering embers have quickly morphed into a raging fire, ready to engulf you both in the flames.
ā€œEddie, I swear to God. If you donā€™t put those fingers back inside me, I willā€”ā€œ
The rest of your threat gets caught in your throat as he thrusts his fingers back in, a strangled moan takes their place.
ā€œSee, was that so hard, princess?ā€ he teases.
You donā€™t answer him, instead grinding your hips down to meet his palm. Eddie pumps his fingers faster, his thumb pressing onto your clit. The wet squelch that follows has him moaning, nuzzling his face against your knee.
Your hand releases his bicep, slipping down his arm to tangle your fingers together. He holds them tightly, beginning to curl the others inside you. The calloused tips brush against your sweet spot, pulling another whine from your throat.
ā€œOh, right there,ā€ you pant, chest heaving as his thumb firmly massages your clit.
That fire continues to burn brighter with each thrust of his fingers, ready to swallow you whole.
ā€œThatā€™s it,ā€ he grins, watching in awe as you make a mess of his fingers, streaks of red and pink dripping down his knuckles.
ā€œMakinā€™ such a mess fā€™me, baby.ā€
You barely register his words as your back arches up off the sofa. Your eyes squeeze shut as white hot pleasure bursts behind your eyelids. His rings dig into your skin from how tightly youā€™re grasping him, legs trembling as he coaxes you through your high.
Your ears are ringing as you finally collapse into the lumpy cushions, whining as he continues to gently thrust his fingers inside you.
ā€œCome ā€˜ere,ā€ you mumble, eyes fluttering open to meet his.
His cheek is smushed against your inner thigh, only breaking your heavy lidded stare to slide his fingers out of you. He hums, carefully lifting his fingers towards the dim light from the tv. He rubs them together, gazing in utter fascination at the sticky strings they leave behind.
You already miss his warmth, tugging playfully on his unruly curls to grab his attention. He chuckles, wiping his fingers on the towel beneath you before heā€™s hovering over your body. Hips pressed into yours, not caring if you make a mess on the front of his pants.
ā€œThank you,ā€ you whisper, twirling one of his curls around your ringed finger.
ā€œNo need to thank me, sweetheart.ā€ He grins down at you, his dark eyes almost sparkling.
ā€œBesidesā€¦ā€ he pauses, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. ā€œWhat are friends for?ā€
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tagging: @xxbimbobunnyxx @undead-supernova @munsonhoneybaby @hippiegoth97 @cinemabean @strangerstilinski @corrodedcorpses @curlyjoequinn @mugloversonly @eddiesxangel @hellfirenacht @splendiferous-bitch @razzeith @aleisashortcake @ali-r3n @eddie-is-a-god (i tried tagging you i promise šŸ˜­)
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gghostwriter Ā· 5 months ago
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Something where the reader is like sunshine, but gets cornered by an unsub and takes them down nosweat, the reader used to play ice hockey so they brawl like hell?
And at a dinner Rossi hosts, the reader offers to help cook but Morgan keeps poking the bear, teasing reader about their crush in spencer so reader asks if she can take this outside and Rossi is like "be my guest, knock him down a peg" and reader almost immediately pins Morgan and gets him to tap out
"Motherfucker I played ice hockey, I'll always win" Penelope is just gushing over reader and reader gives a wink to Spence before heading back to the kitchen to help plate up dinner
Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader Trope: Friends who Flirt (?); A bit heavier than my usual fluff but still fluff, I guess Warning: CM violence, vague descriptions of fight scenes A/N: Anon, going to be honest, I had a hard time writing this. I donā€™t have much knowledge on ice hockey or any sport in general so I tried my best to google moves from hockey and defense that I can incorporate here. Also I know you mentioned Reader to be a sunshine type but I kinda tweaked it so the Reader can be sweet and snarky both at the same time. No further editing was done, hope thatā€™s alright and I hope you still enjoy this! Main masterlist
Ice Princess. // Spencer Reid
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Youā€™d like to think you were hired to join the highly sought after, golden child of the FBIā€”The BAUā€”due to your well rounded resume and skill set. But a year into being part of the team, you were starting to get the feeling you were hand selected to match Dr. Spencer Reidā€™s intellect and observation skills. In most cases, the two of you were always teamed up, working on geographical profiles, visiting the autopsy labs, and setting base in the police stations. All were an integral part of the job, you understood plus youā€™ve built an incredible rapport (crush) on the 187 IQ genius, but sometimes you miss the adrenaline and physical leg work that goes through catching an unsub. How is it that Morgan gets to kick down as many doors as he wants and you canā€™t?Ā 
ā€œPrincess, is that what i think it is?ā€ Morgan asked, spotting you enter the bullpen with a large pink Tupperware on hand. ā€œIt is isnā€™t it?ā€
ā€œUh huh, but theyā€™re not all for you!ā€ You reached inside to grab two pre-packaged home made cookies and tossed them in his direction.Ā 
He looked at the two pieces he had on hand and back to the Tupperware. ā€œThat looks like it holds more than twenty pieces. So how is it I only get two?ā€
You giggled. ā€œCongratulations SSA Derek Morgan, you know how to estimate.ā€
ā€œHa ha very funny, Ice Princess,ā€ he stood to take a peek over your shoulder. ā€œBut I was right, what gives Y/N?ā€
A cup of steaming coffee was placed on your desk, courtesy of Spencer. ā€œHey Y/N. How was your weekend?ā€Ā 
You blushed. ā€œIt was great! I spent my time at the ice skating rink and baking. Look, cookies!ā€Ā 
ā€œI see how it is,ā€ Morgan teased, watching the two youngest members blush and flirt with each other. ā€œDoes pretty boy over here get more than two pieces?ā€
ā€œYes, he does. He gets four to be exact since heā€™s really niceā€”ā€
Morgan averted his eyes and fake coughed ā€˜crushā€™ causing you to blush even more than you thought possible.
ā€œā€”and Hotch gets four, too.ā€Ā 
ā€œWait wait,ā€ he held up his hands. ā€œReid, I get. But Hotch?ā€
You shrugged. ā€œHe is our boss, after all.ā€
ā€œI can smell the lie from a mile away, Princess. What is it really?ā€ He paused, making eye contact with Spencer before turning back to you.
ā€œBribery,ā€ they both stated.
You stomped your boot clad foot on the ground, in defense. ā€œNo itā€™s not!ā€
He laughed. ā€œFace it, Y/N. The big man will never put you in the line of fire, not if he could help it. Donā€™t you think so, Reid?ā€Ā 
ā€œHe does have a point. The percentage of you being partnered up with Morgan in the past cases was at a measly 3% and you were only partnered up with him because Hotch was also there to cover your backā€”ā€ the glare you were giving him was enough for him to backtrack. ā€œā€”Not that you canā€™t take care of yourselfā€”thatā€™s not what Iā€™m saying, youā€™re a great agent, you have the skillsā€”ā€ each word intensifying your gaze. ā€œIā€™ll stop now.ā€ He squeaked out.
Morgan patted his back. ā€œWhat he meant to say was, Hotch has a soft spot for you and your lean, glitter wearing build. Which reminds me, when will we ever see videos of you twirling and jumping on ice, Princess?ā€
You laughed, his assumption of you being an ice skating princess never failed to make you chuckle. If only he knew the truth. ā€œNever, Morgan. Never.ā€Ā 
ā€”ā€”ā€”
In the grand scheme of things, maybe the universe had heard your grumbles and finally decided to throw you a bone. It happened during the latest case in Florida, a narcissistic male unsub was loose on the streets attacking and kidnapping women that all shared the same physical traits as you. This information was pointed out when the team had found the third victimā€™s bodyā€”mangled and throat deeply slashed that her head was almost severed. They all shared similarities with youā€”slight build and delicate features. So it came as a no surprise when the unsub set his eyes on you as the next victim.
ā€œYouā€™re so pretty, sweetheart,ā€ he whispered to your ears, having been caught in a bear hug attack. ā€œI bet I could snap you in half, like a toothpick. Iā€™ll enjoy breaking you.ā€Ā 
Bending forward, you twisted your upper body to elbow his face, and breaking free. ā€œTry me.ā€Ā 
You cursed your luck, having left behind your holster in the hotel room. You were just stepping out to grab a case file left behind in the SUV when the unsub cornered you and made his move.
The smirk on your face seemed to enrage him, enough for him to come charging at you like a bull. You kept your mind cool, feinting to the leftā€”a body fake move from hockey before throwing a heel palm strike straight to his nose, causing it to break and bleed. The unsub howls in pain and while he was pre-occupied, you quickly twist his arm throwing him to the ground.
By the time the remaining members of the team came to your rescue, you were sitting on the unconscious unsub with your hair mused and a saccharine smile on your face. Morgan says nothing, eyebrows raised, as he all but drags the unsub to the nearest police car.
It was during one of the dinner parties hosted by Rossi where the dark skinned, muscular agent goaded you into showing him your moves.Ā 
ā€œCā€™mon Princess, you can flirt with Lover Boy here later,ā€ He slyly said, noting how close you were standing to Reid who was busy steering the pasta sauce. ā€œI got to know how you took down that unsub.ā€
You laughed. ā€œSpence, do you hear someone whining? Sounds like a yapping Chihuahua.ā€Ā 
Spence laughed having spied the indignation on Morganā€™s face. ā€œYouā€™re right, Y/N. I didnā€™t know Rossi got a new family member.ā€
ā€œOh hell, Iā€™m no Chihuahua. Do you see these musclesā€”ā€ He flexed his arms. ā€œIā€™m more German Shepherd than anything. All the flirting with genius over here has clouded your eyesight, better get that checked out.ā€Ā 
You scoffed before turning to Rossi for permission who chuckled at the irritation on your usual angelic face. ā€œBe my guest Bambina, knock him down a peg for me but please, do it outside, Iā€™d rather not get blood on my authentic Persian rug.ā€Ā 
Morgan whooped with glee as he all but ran out to the backyard with you right behind him. He rolled his neck and waved you close. ā€œHit me with your best shot, Ice Skating Princess.ā€Ā 
You smiled, not wanting to correct his favorite nickname of you. Before he could utter another word, you ran straight to him, exerting force on your legs and bracing your arms for impact. The tackle making him lose footing which was what you were aiming for then you proceeded to hook your leg behind his, causing him to tumble down and before he even hit the grass, you twisted making him fall chest first and his hands pinned behind him.
ā€œWhat theā€”ā€ Morgan struggled to get up. ā€œAlright, alright. You win.ā€Ā 
You laughed, helping him stand, as the team members all cheered behind you.
ā€œDid they teach you that in skating school or something?ā€Ā 
ā€œMorgan, I played ice hockey, not ice skating andā€”ā€ you smirked as his mouth dropped open. ā€œā€”I always win, motherfucker.ā€Ā 
ā€œBambina, language.ā€ Rossi, the mother hen of the group, chided.
You laughed, sending Spencer a wink before skipping to where he was, awestruck and blushing beet red from Penelopeā€™s teasing.
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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blog-o-meter Ā· 1 month ago
Text
Room 5 - Nicholas Alexander Chavez x fem!reader
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summary: (Y/N) escapes to a quaint little hotel by the beach for a few days. On the first night, she realizes that the hot guy in the neighboring room is a... loud guy, and she finds that she can't seem to escape him no matter where she goes.
warnings: 18+, voyeurism (auditory), self-masturbation, fingering, unprotected p in v, cursing
required listening: 24 Hours by Sky Ferreira
word count: 17,415
a/n: sorry this one is so long (compared to my other fics), but I just had too much fun writing this one. I honestly could've gone writing more. If anything, I can just add on, but I think I wrapped a nice, little bow on this one. I hope you guys like it, and I would appreciate any and all feedback!! pls enjoy :) edit: I continued the story in a sequel of sorts, which you can check out below!
Making Room (Part 2) | Room On Fire (Part 3) | Room To Breathe (Part 4)
reblogs and likes are appreciated and lets me know if you'd like to see more!
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The boutique hotel looked absolutely adorable, white brick on the outside and only two stories ā€” a tiny cafĆ© and gift shop downstairs and the rooms up top, just steps away from the ocean. It sat between two tall condo buildings, which mostly housed an older crowd of out-of-state tourists.
I was in search of the perfect place for a weekend getaway, and this place seemed to check all the boxes. It wasnā€™t near any of the busy beach accesses where all of the rowdy high schoolers seemed to hang out at, and the pictures of the cafĆ© seemed like it was straight out of an interior designerā€™s Pinterest board. This place, The Pearl, seemed perfect.
Actually, I had been looking forward to this weekend for a long while, having booked this trip about a month ago. Funnily enough, I lived just 30 minutes away from the beach but never had the time to just get away for a couple of days ā€” until now.
After I checked in, I carried my weekend bag and backpack up the narrow staircase to the second floor, the wood creaking underneath my sandals. When I turned on the mid-level landing, thatā€™s when I heard a second set of footsteps coming down from above. I turned my head up, my eyes falling on the drop-dead gorgeous man carefully shuffling down the steps.
Our shoulders brushed as I squeezed by with my luggage, the warmth of his skin sending a shiver that branched out from where our arms grazed.
ā€œSorry,ā€ I whispered without missing a beat.
The guy smiled politely as he turned his head back, his big, brown eyes inviting, ā€œYouā€™re good.ā€
My heart skipped a beat hearing his warm, low voice. The stranger was ridiculously attractive, his muscles bulging out of the wife beater covering his torso, his tousled brown hair elegantly falling over his eyebrows. His smile, though, was what made my skin prickle ā€” a wide, genuine grin that showed off his perfectly white teeth behind his pink lips.
I returned a polite smile, continuing my journey up the stairs before he could notice my blushing cheeks. When I arrived to the top of the landing, I saw that the second floor was T-shaped, the rooms in ascending order the further I walked down the hallway.
I turned the corner, immediately sensing the change in atmosphere compared to the row of rooms I had just passed. This section of the hallway seemed much more secluded, quiet, possibly because, indeed, it was in its own corner of the floor away from all the other rooms.
I passed by the one other door in the hall, reaching my room ā€” 6 ā€” at the end where a singular window accented the softly-lit hallway. Setting my bags down, I fumbled for my phone, scrolling through my text messages with the hotel manager for the code to my door. I appreciated the fact that the rooms had a code to enter instead of a plastic key card that I could lose in the sand.
As I input the code into the lock, the wooden staircases creaked as a set of footsteps became louder and louder making their way toward me. It was the same handsome man I had brushed shoulders with earlier, a backpack slung over his shoulder as he approached the only other door, room 5.
Our eyes met briefly, a flicker of recognition in his. ā€œGood night, neighbor,ā€ he said with a slight nod, that same smile that made my chest warm flashing across his face as he made his way inside his room, the heavy door falling closed behind him.
I let go of the breath I didnā€™t realize I had been holding. What are the odds the hot guy and I were staying next to each other? 1 in 5 it seems.
Shaking off the butterflies fluttering around my stomach, I finished inputting the code and dragging my bags inside the freezing room, stopping to admire the details of what my hard-earned paycheck had managed to spoil me with. The room was quaint, a neutral island color palette ā€” the large bathroom and queen-sized bed to my right and the 70ā€ flatscreen tv and closet on the shared wall to my left, a built-in marble counter all along the bottom.
The bathroom was my favorite: an art-deco flair with hints of coastal influence. The full shower was astounding in the best way possible ā€” a beautiful mosaic pattern along the whole wall, double shower heads on opposite ends, and with enough space to possibly fit maybe 5 people. I could literally walk about ten steps between the two shower heads.
I walked back out to the room, setting my bags on the counter and starting to unpack, not in any particular rush to venture outside. As I organized my stuff ā€” bikinis, pajamas, toiletries ā€” I turned on the tv, flipping through channels and settling on HBO, Black Swan playing a few minutes in.
Enthralled by the movie and remembering I had a few snacks in my backpack, I changed into my pajamas and dug out a box of Lady Godiva chocolates from my backpack, climbing into bed and stretching out my arms and legs, excited to start my weekend getaway.
At some point, I had drifted off with a chocolate in my hand only to be awoken by a sound. I didnā€™t know what it was at first, choosing to ignore it and keeping my eyes closed, hoping Iā€™d drift back to sleep. But it persisted, and it wasnā€™t a sound I had expected to hear ā€” a womanā€™s moans.
My eyes fluttered open, thinking it mightā€™ve been coming from the tv. After all, Black Swan did have a sex scene. However, I found the tv to be off. Maybe I had forgotten I turned it off myself before drifting off to sleep. Then, a low, drawn-out groan rumbled through, clear as day.
Oh.
Oh.
My cheeks flushed, burning at the realization of what I was hearing. I mean, I know a boutique hotel might not have the same amenities as a more established hotel chain, but youā€™d think thicker walls would have been a forethought. How could somebody planning to open a hotel not have thicker walls?
Again, I heard the moaning, and there was only one other room in the hallway that they could be coming from ā€” room 5, the hot guy. I sat up in bed, heart pounding as I processed what was happening in the room behind the tv. The sounds were so clear youā€™d think they were having sex in the hallway.
In fact, I thought just that. There was no way that was happening right? I walked up to my room door and carefully peeked my head out, finding the hallway empty.
I retreated back into my room, my heart racing. Any other person wouldā€™ve probably turned the tv back on, or put on some headphones, something to block out the sounds, but what I did, I couldnā€™t tell anyone else about. I stood frozen, listening. I listened past the rhythmic porn-like moaning of the faceless woman, instead focusing on the low rumble of the hot neighbor guyā€™s voice.
The closet that shared a wall with his room beckoned my name, tempting me to inch closer. Before I knew it, my bare feet were shuffling toward the closet door, quietly swinging it open. The space was small, just big enough to fit a luggage rack and a few hangers up top, but the rhythmic thumping and guttural groans just behind the plaster called out to me.
Carefully, I leaned over the luggage rack, pressing my cheek against the cold, white wall. Every sound was clearer now ā€” the creak of the bed slowing to a stop, the huffing coming from my neighbor, and the yelps coming from the mysterious lady. I could even make out some words.
ā€œBend over,ā€ my neighbor spoke, his voice deep and seductive.
My stomach twisted hearing him speak in such a commanding yet intimate manner. I couldnā€™t wrap my head around the fact that a stranger so polite in passing could be so primal behind closed doors; though, wasnā€™t everyone?
ā€œYouā€™re so huge, Nicholas,ā€ the mystery lady spoke back.
I know I shouldnā€™t have been listening, but I was just so enthralled. Did they know just how thin the walls are, assuming theyā€™d block out most sound like I did? I couldnā€™t imagine someone knowing the walls were thin and still choosing to have sex, especially knowing there was an occupied room next door.
The plaster was cool under my cheek, refreshingly so as I could feel myself becoming warmer and warmer. The sounds of their erotic encounter seemed to vibrate through the wall, through me. Without noticing, I had squeezed my thighs together, my hand finding its way at the band of my pajama pants. As soon as I felt my fingertip slip under my underwear, I was jolted out of my trance. What was I doing?
Before I could feel any more guilty for lingering longer than I shouldā€™ve, I pulled myself away from the wall and scampered back toward the bed, choosing to ignore what was going beyond next door, my heart racing. Grabbing my headphones from my nightstand and slipping them on, I threw myself into the sheets and turned on my white noise playlist. But as much as I forced myself to focus on the therapeutic noise, my imagination wandered, picturing the faces my neighbor ā€” Nicholas ā€” might be making right now as he pleasured the woman accompanying him. Before I knew it, though, I had managed to fall asleep.
In the morning, I made my way down the staircase to the hotelā€™s tiny cafĆ©, eager to start my day with a light, sweet breakfast. As I descended down the last few steps, I looked over to the sea of tables, hesitation in my heels as my eyes landed on Nicholas sitting by his lonesome as he enjoyed a cup of steaming coffee in one hand and a beat-up book in the other.
Swallowing the thought of what I did, and listened to, last night, I walked past him and approached the cafƩ counter, the smell of warm croissants and muffins enveloping my nostrils, a temporary distraction that I was grateful to experience.
ā€œHi,ā€ I politely smiled to the employee, ā€œCan I just get an Italian crĆØme croissant with a hot green tea, please?ā€ I quietly asked, not wanting to interrupt the quiet, calm atmosphere for the patrons of the cafĆ©.Ā 
The barista nodded her head, inputting my order into the tablet register, ā€œWeā€™ll send it over to your table,ā€ she smiled.
I slipped her the money for my breakfast, smiling, ā€œThank you so much,ā€ and making my way through the slew of empty tables.
I settled in at the corner table on the opposite end of the room, wanting to be as far away from Nicholas as possible to avoid any awkward conversations. Though, I may have chosen the worst table for my plan, accidentally giving myself a clear, unobstructed view of Nicholas from across the room.
His hair was damp, not purposefully styled in any particular way but still somehow falling over his eyebrows in such a perfect manner. He wore a loose flannel with a few buttons loose, the shirt billowing open to tease just enough of the gold cross chain draping over the sculpted valley between his chest.
He hadnā€™t noticed me yet, completely enthralled by what he was reading ā€” Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller. I was stunned by his choice of literature. There was an old fellow a few tables down reading the newspaper to get his local news, meanwhile this guy, Nicholas, was probably on some page where the author is describing, in excruciating honesty, a night he had with a prostitute just as easily as one could describe their morning routine. In a way, I was impressed, curious.
As I waited for my breakfast, fiddling with my fingers, occasionally looking at my phone, my eyes would glance over toward Nicholas, my gaze lingering just a beat too long. The way he achingly turned the page, the tip of his finger playing at the corner of the paper, or the way heā€™d carefully bring the mug of coffee up to his lips ā€” it was all so titillating.
Thankfully, though, the barista came over with a small pot of piping hot tea and my croissant, interrupting my trance and carefully setting down the items in front of me. Just as she left, my eyes flickered up to Nicholas to find that he had glanced up from his book, a polite smirk at the corner of his lips when his eyes met mine, lifting his mug in a silent, ā€œCheers.ā€
Not sure if I should wave or say hi or flash a toothy smile, I settled for a polite closed-mouth smile, lifting my mug back at him before quickly focusing my attention to the food in front of me as my cheeks grew warm. The greeting wasnā€™t graceful at all, but how could I focus on being graceful knowing I eavesdropped on his privacy just last night? If I was awkward at all, I figured it was my subconscious trying to punish me.
I served myself some tea and picked at my croissant as I looked out the window to the occasional family or couple walking down the street, all carrying their beach items and taking their time to get to the sand. Iā€™d even glance around to the other patrons at the cafĆ©. Though, I think part of me wanted to see if any of the girls would join Nicholas at his table and reveal herself to be the high-pitched moaner from last night. However, nobody ever did join him. Was he here alone? Or maybe she had taken the morning to be by herself.
Every impulse in me was begging me to take just one more look at Nicholas, to savor his image one last time, but I fought it. Everything except anything in Nicholasā€™s direction became intriguing to me. The checkered tile on the ground, the promotional poster on the window that I could barely read because of the sunshine striking through it, the older fellow enjoying his newspaper ā€” I didnā€™t think Iā€™d find myself focusing on the details of such things trying to avoid the gaze of some guy I had talked to for no more than 10 seconds, maybe less.
When I finished up, I quietly tidied the table, collecting all of the dishes and brushing off any crumbs, making my way out of the cafƩ and toward my car.
The breeze was refreshing, a nice whisper against my cheeks. I opened the trunk, staring at all of the beach gear I had to carry by myself. It was a struggle, but I managed to carry everything in both my arms ā€” umbrella, picnic, basket, beach chair, headphones, blanket ā€” using every crevice of my upper body to anchor something to me so it wouldnā€™t fall on the way over.
Thankfully, the beach access was right next to the hotel, and the path to the open sand wasnā€™t too long. When I got to the end of the path, I was grateful for having woken up early for the opportunity to pick a spot in an otherwise empty beach, a few umbrellas and chairs here and there from the condo occupants. I chose a spot that didnā€™t have any people too close by for maximum relaxation, carefully setting everything down on the sand.
I stabbed my pink, frilly cabana umbrella into the ground, laying out my beach blanket and beach chair in the shade, sliding everything else onto the corners of the blanket so the breeze wouldnā€™t pick the fabric up and blow sand toward me.
The water was calling my name, the light green water perfectly sparkling against the morning sun. But before I could strip my clothes off and jump in, I looked around to see if anybody would be looking as I pulled off my clothes. I didnā€™t see anybody particularly interested in my arrival, so I quickly pulled off my jean shorts and tee to reveal my glittery brown bikini set underneath. Before I became too hyper aware of my body, I walked toward the water, instead letting the feeling wash over me just as the waves of deliciously cold seawater did.
The occasional squawk of seagulls, the sun warming up my skin as it rose higher and higher in the sky and the sound of the waves crashing was all perfect. This moment was all I wanted out of this weekend. No distractions, no work ā€” just me and the ocean. Needless to say, I was very excited to be able to repeat this routine for the next couple of days.Ā 
I continued walking into the water until I was chest-deep to let the ocean devour me whole. The feeling that a wave could crash over me entirely was exhilarating. The water slowly picked me up by my feet as I hopped around.
I lingered for a few more minutes in the water, splashing water around or searching for little fish before stepping back out once my fingers started to wrinkle. As I strutted out of the water, though, I saw the familiar shape of somebody relaxing in a chair just a few feet next to my umbrella ā€” Nicholas.
I shouldnā€™t be surprised. I mean, he was a guest in the hotel, too, after all. Why else would someone book a room in a hotel by the beach if they wouldnā€™t find themselves relaxing in the sand? But did he have to set up next to me when there was an entire football field of available space?
Meekly and careful not to trip or stumble on the way over, I walked toward my umbrella, fighting the urge to steal a glance at Nicholas, but from the corner of my eye I could see he sat there with his chest exposed. I had to let myself give in; what was the harm in a little peek?
He sat reclined in his chair, his skin deliciously glistening under the killer sun as he took it in. His hair was lightly brushing across his face from the sea breeze, like Mother Nature herself was playing with his hair. Nicholasā€™s long legs stretched out in front of him, his feet digging slightly into the sand. Both hands rested lazily on the arm of the chair, open. It was like he wanted to take up as much space as he could. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes; I couldnā€™t tell where he was looking or if he was looking anywhere at all. He radiated a kind of tranquility, as if the ocean had washed away any burdens he carried, something I hoped to experience myself this weekend.
I realized I was staring, my breath caught somewhere between awe and curiosity. I darted my eyes away, afraid I might be caught, which is absolutely the last thing I want.
Growing cold from the breeze brushing my wet skin, I grabbed my towel, drying myself off and squeezing the water out of my hair, mindful of turning myself from Nicholas so as to not flick any water droplets his way or have him think I was trying to grab his attention deliberately. Maybe he just sat there without knowing he had set up next to me. After all, I was in the water this entire time.
As I settled in, I brushed my wet hair over the back of my chair and reached for my picnic basket, pulling out my headphones, sunglasses, and my current read, White Oleander. I didnā€™t want to distract myself with any energetic music, instead opting to listen to the White Oleander movie soundtrack for the perfect accompaniment to the book.
I read through the chapter I had left off in, but I found myself having to reread some paragraphs, even entire pages, every time I saw Nicholas shift in his seat from the corner of my eye every few seconds. Even the way he jittered his knee up and down was distracting, almost like he wanted to grab my attention. After some minutes, he stood up from his chair, letting out a groan as he slowly stretched his arms and walked toward the water, and I silently thanked the universe for finally letting me have a few minutes to myself.
Though, I couldnā€™t help but occasionally glance up from my book to observe Nicholas in the water. The sun accentuated his muscles in an almost picturesque way, the stark shadow falling under each crevice of his body perfectly. He cut through the water like a knife as he walked deeper and deeper in the water, splashing water over his chest and shoulders, eventually dipping himself under the water to wet his hair. When he reemerged, the surface broke with a powerful splash, Nicholas throwing his head back and brushing his hair back with his hands.
Shaking myself out of Nicholasā€™s trance, I buried myself back in my book, trying not to look back up to him and letting myself get lost in the story, and for a while, I did. However, the universe seemed to like playing cruel jokes. About two chapters later, a shadow crossed my face. Curious to know if it was a bird or somebodyā€™s umbrella flying away, I looked up to find Nicholas standing in front of me with a small grin.
ā€œGood book?ā€ He asked, drying his hair with a towel.
Shocked, I almost couldnā€™t form any words, but I managed to spit out a normal-sounding sentence, ā€œUh, so far, yeah, but Iā€™m more familiar with the movie.ā€
ā€œIā€™ve never seen it,ā€ he confessed, dragging the towel up and down his dripping torso, almost deliberately. ā€œDo you recommend it?ā€
I was quiet first, trying to clear my head of any thoughts of the night before that kept replaying in my mind. My eyes drifted up from his torso to the smile on his face, his straight white teeth in full show. Thank god I had my sunglasses on
ā€œTotally. The dialogue in that movie isā€¦ā€ I trilled my lips, searching for the right word, ā€œpoignant.ā€
ā€œSounds raw,ā€ he threw the towel over his shoulder, resting his hands on his hips, his lat muscles flexing outward like wings. ā€œIs it your favorite movie?ā€ He asked as he sat down in his chair, shifting until he found a comfortable position.
ā€œOne of,ā€ I replied, turning my head to face him.
ā€œIā€™ll check it out then,ā€ he smiled, grabbing Tropic of Cancer out from under his chair and spreading it open.
ā€œThereā€™s a movie on that one, too,ā€ I pointed to the book in his hands.
ā€œReally?ā€ He cocked an eyebrow, looking at the cover of the paperback, like he had forgotten what book he was reading. But then, a cheeky grin grew on his lips, ā€œDid you like it?ā€
I couldnā€™t help but stifle a chuckle, knowing what Nicholas had meant. ā€œI wouldnā€™t know; Iā€™ve never seen it,ā€ I smiled, turning my head back to the book in my hands, having almost forgotten about it.
All I heard back from him was a quiet chuckle before he settled back into his chair, the both of us reading their respective books.
After a half hour, I tossed the book and my sunglasses back into the basket and walked out over to the water. I paused at the dry edge of the sand, letting the water nip at my toes, trying not to picture Nicholas behind me. He could have been glancing at me as I made my way over, but he could also be looking at the sky, or the book in his hands, or maybe even his phone. As much as I wanted to peek over my shoulder, I continued forward, letting the sea swallow me.
I lingered, brushing my fingertips over the surface as I planted myself in knee-deep water, clutching the sand underneath my toes as it dissolved under me. As the water hugged my calves, I searched the water for anything I could find ā€” maybe a lost pair of sunglasses, some little fishes, or maybe a conch laying at the bottom of the ocean floor. To no avail, I slowly started to retreat from the water, picking my head up to find Nicholas was looking forward, hiding behind his sunglasses again.
I didnā€™t let the fact he was looking over to my direction affect my ability to walk properly. After all, he could be looking past me. Maybe under those sunglasses he had his eyes closed. I wouldnā€™t know. However plausible any of those situations were, I couldnā€™t shake the feeling that I was being watched.
Upon approaching my chair, I wrapped myself in the damp towel, deciding that my time at the beach for today would be over for now. Slowly, I started to pack up my things, but I honestly didnā€™t know how I was gonna carry everything back now that I was damp and shivering. I tried juggling some of the things in my arms, but occasionally something would slip from my grasp. I really tried not to seem so helpless, but when the umbrella slipped out from under my arms with a loud thump, I knew keeping up that ruse wouldnā€™t work.
ā€œNeed help?ā€ I heard Nicholasā€™s voice behind me.
I turned around, catching him push his sunglasses to the top of his head to show off his crinkled eyes, smiling. It seemed to be more from amusement at watching me struggle, not smiling from politeness.
I struggled to hold onto everything in my arms, ā€œNo,ā€ I shook my head, laughing nervously. ā€œI mean, I managed to bring everything over in the morning.ā€
An exhale escaped his lips before he tossed the book to the sand and stood up from his chair, making his way over with a satisfied look, ā€œLet me help.ā€
I bit my lip, debating if I should let him help or to just push him away so I wouldnā€™t have that constant reminder of hearing him have sex in my head. Before I could answer, though, Nicholas grabbed the beach chair out from under my arm and picked the umbrella up off the floor.
ā€œThank you,ā€ I mumbled as I adjusted the remaining items in my arms, now much more manageable without having to carry the bigger things.
ā€œNo problem,ā€ he spoke in a low tone, that same tone I overheard when he said ā€˜Bend overā€™ to the woman in his bed last night.
My breath caught in my throat. Suddenly, I felt inexplicably warm, like the back of my neck was on fire. His expression was soft, casual, like the same man I had run into in the hallway yesterday, not at all like the man I heard in his room in a false sense of privacy.
We walked back toward the hotel, the sand kicking up behind us with every step. I was too afraid to say anything to him at all after remembering the way he spoke to his late night companion.
ā€œSo, are you from around here?ā€ He spoke up, his voice cutting the tension that only I seemed to be aware of.
ā€œKind of,ā€ I replied, hiding my face behind my damp hair, ā€œI live 30 minutes out. I just came here on a solo-trip for a few days to escape. You?ā€ I didnā€™t expect the question to slip from my lips, but in a way, I guess, I wanted to coax information out of him. Maybe if I knew more about him, that pang of guilt in my stomach would leave on its own.
He stifled a chuckle, ā€œNot at all. Iā€™m from Colorado, actually.ā€
I raised an eyebrow, surprised at the answer, ā€œWouldnā€™t California beaches be closer to you, maybe even look better than this old shore?ā€ I looked back out into the beach, admiring its charm, but even then, I know it wouldnā€™t compare to a California beach.
ā€œActually, I live in LA, so I go out there all the time. I guess, I just wanted to visit a different place,ā€ he answered.
I was surprised at his honesty, but I scoffed, not believing that any person from out of town would want to come here willingly, ā€œWell, you picked a different place, indeed. Not much goes on around here, except when itā€™s spring break.ā€
Nicholas stifled a warm chuckle, ā€œYeah, I think I read that online.ā€
A part of me wanted to prod. Was he single? Who was that girl from last night? Another guest? The only appropriate question that I could think of that didnā€™t sound too suspicious was, ā€œAre you here on a solo-trip, too?ā€
He nodded his head, ā€œYeah, I do a lot of solo travel. Thereā€™s a certain freedom in not having to worry about anyone else except yourself.ā€
I glanced over to him and saw a smirk playing at the corner of his lips as he looked over to me. Something fluttered in my chest, or maybe it was just the droplets of water trailing down from my head.
ā€œSounds liberating,ā€ I managed to spurt out before the long pause became too awkward.
ā€œIt is, but sometimes itā€™s nice to share it with someone else, even for a little bit,ā€ he said, his words hanging in the air.
I didnā€™t dare reply. I wasnā€™t sure if he was alluding to our current moment or maybe to the similar encounters of last night he has with women during his trips. Of course, thereā€™s no way heā€™d know that I knew what he did behind closed doors, but what if he did?
ā€œYeah,ā€ I absentmindedly agreed to his statement, eager to cut the conversation short.
We arrived at my car. I opened the trunk with my keys that were in my picnic basket, watching as Nicholas bent over to place the umbrella and chair inside, then grabbing everything from my arms and setting them beside each other, closing the trunk.
ā€œMy nameā€™s Nicholas,ā€ he held his hand out for me to shake.
Thatā€™s when I realized that he had never introduced himself. The only reason I knew his name was because I had my ear pressed against the wall just as his lady friend from last night had moaned it out of her lips.
I hesitated for just a fraction of a second before breaking through that one-sided tension and reaching out to shake his hand, his warm palm sending a shiver up my arm, ā€œ(Y/N),ā€ I introduced myself, meeting his gaze for a second or two before looking down at my feet.
ā€œPretty name,ā€ he smiled.
Blushing, I shyly said, ā€œThanks,ā€ retreating my hand from his grasp and whipping back a strand of wet hair behind me.
Nicholas lingered a moment longer, the soft curve of his smile inviting me to hold his gaze. ā€œAny chance youā€™d wanna get a drink later?ā€
I blinked, my mind scrambling for a response as the question hung between us. This stranger, Nicholas, was never meant to be more than just some nameless blur that happened to also be a guest at the same hotel I was staying. We were only supposed to bump into each other a few times in the hallway, never going into conversation and being fine with that. Now, here he was, asking me if I wanted to have a drink with him.
I kicked my feet nervously, looking down, afraid to look him in the eye as I turned down his offer, ā€œActually, I have plans.ā€
His brow lifted slightly, an amused look on his face. ā€œSolo plans?ā€ he asked, clearly poking fun at my earlier words.
I couldnā€™t help but let out a soft laugh, despite my nerves. ā€œYeah, something like that.ā€
ā€œFair enough,ā€ he said, his tone casual but with a glimmer of understanding. ā€œBut if you change your mindā€¦ā€ he leaned in the tiniest bit, some tiny droplets from his hair dripping onto my skin, ā€œyou know where Iā€™m staying,ā€ a mischievous smirk at the end of his lips.
I felt my stomach jump at his words, catching the double meaning. He lingered a bit too long, like he was testing me, before he pulled back, still smirking.
I nodded, ā€œYeah, Iā€™ll let you know if I change my mind.ā€
I watched as he walked past, sauntering back toward the beach. The way his shoulders shifted as he walked, relaxed yet deliberate, made it impossible to look away. The nerve of him, the audacity to be this calm, this magnetic. Maybe itā€™s because Iā€™m never forward with people I just met, especially if I think theyā€™re attractive, but I couldnā€™t wrap my head around the swagger Nicholas oozed. It was like he was aware of the effect he had on me.
Desperate to wash away the sand in my crevices, I trotted toward the hotel entrance, going up the stairway and to my room. I felt relief when the cold air of the room hit my face, pulling my hair away from the back of my neck so the air could creep its way and bring some relief to my flustered self. My head buzzed, replaying anything having to do with Nicholas ā€” the way he dried his towel in front of me, his soft chuckles, even the way he walked.
Get it together, (Y/N). Heā€™s just a guy. Just a guy you wonā€™t see ever again after this weekend. Ever.
I sighed, dragging myself to the shower and stripping the wet bikini off my body and letting it fall to the floor without a second thought.
I was grateful the shower was huge, that way I didnā€™t feel as suffocated with the warm water steaming up the glass. However, each time I closed my eyes to let the water fall on my face, all I could picture was Nicholasā€™s charming smile, all I could hear in my head was the way he said ā€˜Bend overā€™ to the girl in his bed last night, and suddenly, I could feel a tension pool low in my belly.
Fed up, I turned the faucet knob to cold, shuddering and gasping loudly the moment it fell down my spine. It mightā€™ve been drastic, but it did help. All I could focus on was trying not to tremble under the cold stream of water enveloping me instead of focusing on a certain man.
Once I was done with my shower, I wrapped my hair and body in a towel each, padding out into the cold room, my ankles shuddering at the cold floor beneath me. I changed into a casual set of clothes, thinking Iā€™d probably go out for a walk later. As I dried my hair with the towel, I made my way over to the window, looking out toward the beach to see Nicholas still lounging out in the sand. He was splayed out on the chair, legs wide open as he leaned back and looked out into the water.
Tired of my mind drifting to him, I jumped into bed and put on my headphones, opening up Hulu to catch up on shows. Before I knew it, hours had gone by and it had become nightfall.
I walked to my luggage resting on the built-in counter, zipping it open to pull out a bag of chips I had bought before arriving. Thatā€™s when I heard a light knock on my door. I froze at the sound, too scared to shuffle over and check who it was.
ā€œ(Y/N), you there?ā€ I heard Nicholasā€™s voice call out. I didnā€™t answer, standing still, my heart almost pounding out of my chest. ā€œIf you are, Iā€™m heading over to the bar across the street, if you wanna join me,ā€ he calmly spoke through the door, his voice cool and collected.
After a bit, I heard his feet shuffle away, becoming fainter and fainter. I still didnā€™t dare move an inch, paranoid he mightā€™ve pulled a fake-out and is actually still standing outside my door. I sat on the counter, debating his invitation, but I decided against it. Iā€™m not exactly sure why; any other girl would already have been out the door by now. I just had to trust my gut on this.
Later that night, at about 1:30AM, I found myself still awake, quietly scrolling Instagram on my phone. Thatā€™s when I heard the loud giggles of a woman outside in the hall, followed by a deep shush, the giggles falling to a quiet mumble as I heard a door open and quickly fall closed. I ignored the sounds, continuing to scroll and catch up on posts I missed during the day.
Some minutes pass by, about 10. Thatā€™s when I heard the bed on the other side begin to thump against the wall, a lady slowly starting to moan. The moans sounded different, belonging to another woman. Then, the all-too-familiar grunts coming from Nicholas started to join in.
I couldnā€™t reach for my headphones to drown out the sounds of sex coming from the other side; my headphones had died just 30 minutes earlier, now charging on the outlet above the counter. Tossing and turning in bed, I burrowed myself under the covers, hoping it would make some barrier, but to no avail.
Irritated, I walked over to the counter, checking to see if my headphones had any juice that I could use even for just a few minutes until I fell asleep. Just as I reached to disconnect them from their charger, thatā€™s when I heard Nicholasā€™s voice rumble through the wall.
ā€œYouā€™re so hot,ā€ he said, his tone thick with pleasure.
I stood there frozen, my hand still hovering over my headphones. The more I heard Nicholas speak, the more I found myself inching closer toward the closet. My heart was racing, beating faster the moment I opened the closet doors, carefully stepping inside and resting my cheek against the shared wall.
I knew I shouldnā€™t have been listening in, again, but I couldnā€™t stop myself. It was this urge that I had to follow through with. I closed my eyes for a moment, listening past the girly moans and searching for Nicholasā€™s voice. My chest grew tighter, my thoughts beginning to spiral.
ā€œJust like that,ā€ he growled.
Had I said yes to drinks, would that have been me in there? Would I be the one moaning under him instead of the mystery girl inside? My stomach tightened at the thought, frustrated. Iā€™m not sure why I was letting it get to me like that. Maybe because hindsight is always twenty-twenty. But just knowing that it mightā€™ve been me Nicholas said all those things to had I just agreed to drinksā€¦ It drove me crazy.
ā€œSay my name.ā€
My body tensed at his words. Somewhere between spiraling and intrigued by the events happening on the other side, I had closed my eyes, achingly moving my hand to my shorts, slipping it under the waistband. What if I just pretended it was me he was saying all those things to?
I clenched my teeth, feeling a heat bubbling low in my belly as it slowly rose up to my chest. The sound of Nicholasā€™s voice; he sounded so close yet we were separated by this thin wall. It was maddening. I slipped my fingers under my underwear, grazing them over my damp self. I covered my mouth with my other hand, proactive about not wanting to be heard from the other side just as I heard them.
ā€œFuck, you feel so good,ā€ Nicholas groaned on the other side.
My breathing became deep, my nostrils pushing out all the air that couldnā€™t leave my mouth. As my fingers found my throbbing bud, I quietly whimpered out, pretending Nicholas was saying those words to me. I rubbed myself in small circles, bucking my hips into my fingers.
On the opposite side of the wall, Nicholasā€™s groaning had become guttural, primal. The more the headboard thumped against the shared wall, the more powerful his movements had become. At one point, I thought something might fall off the wall from my side of the room.
As I slipped a finger, then another, inside myself, my breathing became erratic. I imagined Nicholas taking me, right now as I am, hard at the thought that I had been listening in on his sexual escapades. Maybe heā€™d push me up against the wall, cornering me so that I might not escape him. He seems like the type to want to be in control, and Iā€™d be happy to give it to him.
I pumped my fingers slowly, at first, but then picked up the speed to match the thumping on the wall. The tension in me began to build tighter and tighter. I was so close to collapsing in pleasure, but the moment I heard a loud moan escape the womanā€™s lips from the other side, I was taken out of my imagination completely, remembering that it wasnā€™t me he was having sex with.
My eyes ripped open, realizing what I had been doing. I pulled my fingers out and collected myself, shamefully walking out of the closet and reaching for the headphones on the counter. I couldnā€™t believe that I had been pleasuring myself to the sounds of somebody else having sex. Even more embarrassingly so, I didnā€™t even arrive to a climax, so I couldnā€™t even say it was worth it.
I climbed back into bed, trying hard to ignore the sounds coming from the other side and slipping on my headphones, putting on anything that would distract my mind.
The next day, I didnā€™t wake up as early as I had liked. I ended up falling asleep pretty late, almost 2:30 in the morning, which was not my usual bedtime, clearly. But it was 12PM, still enough time to enjoy a light brunch before officially starting the day.
I changed into some loose clothes, making my way down to the cafĆ©. Even though I felt guilty about last night, I felt ok enough to confidently walk into the cafĆ© knowing Nicholas wouldnā€™t be there. Either heā€™d be too tired from his late night drinking and stayed in, or he wouldā€™ve started his day earlier and already had his coffee for the day. And when I entered the area, I found myself to be correct. He wasnā€™t there.
Comfortably, I ordered the same meal from yesterday, a croissant and a pot of tea, taking my seat at the same table. What can I say, Iā€™m a creature of habit. If it ainā€™t broke, donā€™t fix it.
Almost as soon as I sat down, the barista came over with my things, setting them down with a polite smile. Tired and hungry, I pulled a chunk out of the croissant and placed it into my mouth, savoring its sweet taste. I enjoyed my first meal of the day calmly and slowly, relaxed to know I wouldnā€™t bump into Nicholas right now. Maybe Iā€™d have a few hours to myself before I did. But of course, my peace was short-lived.
As I picked at my food, the front door to the hotel chimed. I was too focused on pouring myself the last few ounces of tea into my mug to look up, but I didnā€™t have to. A familiar presence approached my table, ā€œMind if I join you?ā€ Nicholas asked.
I looked up, my eyes locking onto his. He had that oh-so charming smile plastered on his face ā€” innocent, as if he wasnā€™t the one partially responsible for keeping me up late.
ā€œSure,ā€ I said, pulling the pot away from my mug.
He pulled up a chair from the neighboring table, sitting down across from me while his gaze flickered down at my half-eaten croissant. ā€œYou like taking your time, donā€™t you?ā€
I felt a rush of heat creeping up the back of my neck at his casual teasing. He was wearing a faded tee, not from age but one that looked like it had been drying out in the sun too long, his gold cross chain hidden under the collar. Iā€™m sure he looked good in anything he wore.
ā€œDonā€™t you?ā€ I asked without missing a beat.
Nicholas stifled a smirk, tapping his finger against the table, ā€œSo whatā€™d you do last night?ā€
I almost choked on my own spit at the question, clearing my throat. Dear god, please let me not stumble over my words. ā€œNot much, why?ā€
He sharply inhaled, like he was unsure if he should answer, ā€œI had knocked on your door to invite you out to the bar again, but you didnā€™t answer.ā€
I stifled a chuckle, shrugging my shoulders, ā€œWhy? Were you afraid I was doing something better?ā€
Nicholasā€™s fingers played at the edge of my plate, smirking. ā€œI figured you were out walking or something,ā€ he smiled.
ā€œWell, I planned to,ā€ I picked at my croissant, ripping off a tiny piece and placing it in my mouth, ā€œbut I ended up staying in.ā€
ā€œOh? You stayed in?ā€ He shifted in his seat, thinking about his next words. ā€œSleeping?ā€
I calculated my answer. I didnā€™t want him to be embarrassed about the fact that I could hear him having sex the past two nights. ā€œYeah, early night,ā€ I kept it short, hoping heā€™d drop the subject or, at least, change the topic.
I wasnā€™t sure if he believed me, but I didnā€™t care to elaborate. His presence was disarming enough without dredging up last nightā€™sā€¦ intrusive thoughts. Instead, I took another sip of tea and focused on not meeting his gaze.
ā€œSo, then whyā€™d you come down here so late in the morning?ā€ He asked, a grin playing at his lips.
I stumbled on my words, trying to find an answer, Nicholas becoming more amused and entertained the more I stumbled. Was he waiting around for me? Did he know his proclivities had kept me up? Did he know I could hear through the walls?
ā€œLazy morning,ā€ I shrugged my shoulders. He stifled a chuckle, accepting my answer without too much kickback. ā€œWhat about you?ā€ I asked, turning the tables on him. ā€œWhat did you get up to last night?ā€
His grin didnā€™t falter. If anything, it grew sharper, and he leaned forward just slightly, resting his forearms on the table. ā€œMe? Nothing much,ā€ his finger twiddled near my croissant, pushing around the tea spoon next to it, ā€œI had a drink or two. A little company.ā€ His eyes flickered up to meet mine.
I swallowed hard, the tension between us thickening. His choice of words hung in the air, deliberate and calculated. He knew exactly what he was doing dangling that tidbit of information in front of me, seeing if Iā€™d bite, but I wasnā€™t going to.
Taking a sip of my tea, I pretended to brush off his words, ā€œSounds like you had fun,ā€ I spoke casually, keeping my expression neutral.
Nicholas tilted his head, watching me closely. ā€œI wouldā€™ve had even more fun, but I had some plans fall through,ā€ he paused, ā€œI had to improvise.ā€
Oh, the calculation in his words were driving me mad, especially because I didnā€™t want him to have the satisfaction of baiting a specific reaction out of me. Was I right? Could that have been me in his room last night if I decided to go out with him?
I set the cup down as calmly as I could manage, but inside, I was shaking, ā€œDoesnā€™t seem like you had any trouble improvising, then.ā€
For a moment, Nicholasā€™s fingers stopped tapping against the plate, that infuriating smirk returning. He leaned back into his chair, amused, ā€œYou heard, didnā€™t you?ā€œ
My eyes nearly fell out of my head, but I tried to keep it cool, "Heard what?"
His laugh was soft but full of certainty. "Come on, (Y/N). I heard you watching a movie the other night. These walls,ā€ he gestured lazily toward the ceiling, ā€œare paper thin; it was like I was in your room watching it with you.ā€ He leaned toward me, resting his arms on the table again, ā€œThatā€™s why you woke up late, isnā€™t it?"
God, I wanted to shrivel up and die right then and there. It was absolutely infuriating how he could figure me out so easily. But my suspicions were confirmed ā€” he did know, this entire time, and he still decided to have loud sex knowing anybody in the neighboring room could hear. And he had no shame about it!
My face burned with embarrassment, and l avoided his gaze like my life depended on it. "I didn't hear anything," I stammered, lying so poorly I might as well have just admitted the truth. ā€œIā€™m a deep sleeper.ā€
Nicholas tilted his head, that insufferable smirk deepening. ā€œA deep sleeper, huh?ā€ His voice dripped with amusement. He rested his chin in his palm as he studied me like I was some kind of puzzle. ā€œAlright, Iā€™ll take your word for it.ā€
My grip tightened on the edge of the table, desperate to regain some semblance of control.
ā€œFor what it's worth...ā€ Nicholas pushed back his chair and stood, smiling down at me. He leaned down toward me, his tone softening just enough to send a shiver down my spine. "If I'd known you were listening, I might've put on a better show." He took a small bite of my croissant, dusting the crumbs off his hands and making his way toward the door, winking at me before he exited.
Unable to fathom what had just happened, I stayed planted in my seat. Did he seriously just say that? My thoughts spiraled. Was this a game to him? Could he tell just how truly flustered I was by his teasing? Was I really that easy to rile up?
I pushed my plate and mug away from me, hoping to regain some space to avoid feeling suffocated by the remnants of his presence that Nicholas had left behind in his wake. And yet, I couldnā€™t deny the pull he had on me. No matter how hard I tried to push it down, to deny the heat in my cheeks and the butterflies in my stomach, it was there. Nicholas was under my skin.
I tried to avoid running into him the rest of the day, to suffocate him out of me like one would a parasite, but to know youā€™re avoiding someone, youā€™d have to be on the lookout, on your toes. Every corner I turned, I checked to see if he was there. Every room I entered, I scanned around looking for his distinct tousled hair. On the beach, I hid behind my sunglasses, scanning the shore for the familiar build of him. Finding him nowhere, I relaxed a bit, choosing to free myself and going for a short walk along the water.
I let the water lap around my ankles, rhythmically enveloping them as I slowly walked along the borderline empty beach. I picked up a few shells that caught my eye ā€” only the colorful, unique ones. In fact, I kept walking, walking, and walking until it became evening, the sun setting over the beach, slowly but surely.
I returned to my spot, sitting back and admiring the colors of the sky. In fact, I was so relaxed, huddled under my towel, that I may have yawned once or twice. As I continued to look out into the horizon, I felt a cold tap on my shoulder, turning my head up to see who was interrupting my moment of relaxation. Of course, by now, I already knew who.
Nicholas stood there, towering over me with a pair of beers in his hand, holding one out for me. ā€œPretty, right?ā€ He asked with a smile, looking out into the purple water.
I glanced at the beer in his outstretched hand before shifting my gaze to his face, the fading sunlight casting an orange glow over his sharp features. I kept my expression neutral, taking the beer from him without a word. He took that as an invitation to plop down in the space next to me, stretching his legs out and taking a sip from his can.
We sat there in silence for a while, the only sounds being the gentle crash of waves and the occasional chatter of distant beachgoers. It wasā€¦ oddly peaceful, almost enough to make me forget about the tension that seemed to follow us ā€” or should I say, me ā€” like a shadow. Maybe, also, because I was a little sleepy.
ā€œSo, did you find what you were looking for today?ā€ Nicholas asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
I frowned, confused. ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€
ā€œYou were walking up and down the beach for hours,ā€ he said, motioning toward the small pile of shells Iā€™d collected.
My mouth grew to a smile, cocky, ā€œYou were watching me for hours?ā€
For the first time, Nicholas stammered on his words, and it was a sight I was incredibly amused by. His head fell as he chuckled, maybe flustered that I had finally caught him in a moment instead of the other way around, ā€œYeah,ā€ he nodded his head, his cheeks pink, ā€œI was.ā€
I couldnā€™t help the smirk tugging at my lips. Watching him falter, even slightly, was a rare treat, one I planned to savor. ā€œI can see why you like pushing peopleā€™s buttons now.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t like pushing peopleā€™s buttons,ā€ he said as he brought the beer to his lips, ā€œjust yours.ā€
It was insane just how quickly Nicholas could turn something back onto you. The admission was so casual, yet it hit me like a rogue wave. I stared at him, half-expecting him to laugh or brush it off as a joke, but he simply leaned back on his hands, eyes on the horizon like he hadnā€™t just set my pulse racing.
ā€œIā€™m sure you say that to all your company,ā€ I turned to face the water, sipping on my beer and trying to hide my flushed cheeks. I chose my words carefully, wanting to see howā€™d he react.
Nicholas let out a low chuckle beside me. ā€œI donā€™t,ā€ he said simply, his voice drawing me in despite myself. ā€œOnly you.ā€
I stole a quick glance at him, but he was already looking ahead, the way his profile caught the last rays of the setting sun, casting long shadows across his features. There was something magnetic about him, and the more time I spent around him, the more I couldnā€™t ignore it. He was confident, teasing, but there was something underneath, something deeper that made it hard to read him completely.
A part of me wanted to challenge him, maybe even keep him on his toes. But there was another part of me, the part I kept hidden, that wanted to give in to the tension, to see where it could lead. My mind raced with the possibilities, each thought contradicting the last, until I was sure I was overthinking every moment, every word we exchanged.
I cleared my throat and shifted my position in the chair, facing toward him completely. ā€œIndulge me. What makes me so different that you just canā€™t help but push my buttons?ā€
He smiled, like he had an answer prepared since the moment we met, ā€œYou donā€™t give in easily, but you seem like the type to give yourself completely once you do.ā€
Nicholasā€™s words lingered in the air, making my pulse quicken. It was strange how effortlessly he could unravel me with just a few words. I tried to maintain my composure, but the quiet between us seemed to stretch longer than I was comfortable with. His words felt like a challenge,Ā  but also like a promise. My mind kept drifting back to the night before, to the sounds of him on the other side of the wall.
ā€œIā€™m not so sure about that,ā€ I replied, keeping my voice steady, though it didnā€™t quite mask the undercurrent of uncertainty I was feeling.
Nicholas raised an eyebrow, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he shifted closer. ā€œReally? Because thereā€™s only so much pressure somebody can take before they start to crack.ā€
I wanted to say something sharp, something that would put distance between us, but his confidence was suffocating, almost intoxicating. I couldnā€™t seem to gather the words to shut him down. So, instead, I took another long sip from my beer, pretending to focus on the view ahead of me, though my mind was anything but at ease.
His smile widened, ā€œArenā€™t you cracking?ā€
For a moment, it felt like time stopped. The world seemed to fade into the background, and it was just the two of us, sitting there in the fading sunlight, with nothing but the sound of the waves and the sudden weight of his words hanging between us.
I cleared my throat, finishing my beer, ā€œI donā€™t think so,ā€ I said lightly, trying to mask the effect his words had on me.
ā€œWeā€™ll see about that then,ā€ he finally said, his voice low and casual, though I could tell there was a hint of challenge in it.
I was almost afraid to look at him, afraid of what I might see in his eyes. But I couldnā€™t help it. Slowly, I turned my head, and our eyes met, the connection between us palpable. My head slowly started to move forward by itself, millimeter by millimeter, toward Nicholas. My heart raced faster and faster, it was practically thumping out of my chest when I realized that he was leaning in, too. Right as I was about to close my eyes to welcome whatever was about to happen, I heard a group of people loudly laugh as they passed by behind us. I quietly chuckled to myself, thinking that may be my cue to leave.
Satiating my dose of Nicholas for the day, I dusted myself off and stood up from the beach chair, handing him my empty beer bottle, ā€œI guess we will,ā€ I said, not too much of a challenge behind my words. I grabbed my chair and looked back at Nicholas with a friendly grin before walking off.
I couldnā€™t shake the feeling of Nicholasā€™s eyes on me, but I powered through, making my way to my room. The second I entered, I went to the bathroom and stripped off my sandy clothes, turning on the shower to warm myself up from sitting in the cool, evening breeze. The hot water streamed over my skin, washing away the lingering chill from the beach. I let out a deep breath, closing my eyes as the steam began to fill the space.
My mind wandered back to the conversation with Nicholas. His words replayed in my head, their weight sinking in a little deeper with each memory: Weā€™ll see about that.
After my shower, I slipped into a cozy tee and shorts, feeling a bit more grounded. I sat by the window, towel drying my hair, watching the moonlight dance on the water. The calm of the night settled around me, but my mind was still restless.
To distract myself, I turned on the tv, not caring what was on but making sure to keep the sound at a reasonable volume to not disturb Nicholas but just loud enough that I might not hear tonightā€™s mystery woman moan through the wall.
As the night stretched on, I tried my best to focus on the random show playing on the screen, but my thoughts kept drifting. Every sound outside my window, every muffled thump from the hallway, made my heart race just a little faster thinking it might be Nicholas arriving to his room.
The hours ticked by. I hadnā€™t heard anything from his side of the wall yet ā€” not a voice, not the creak of a bedframe, nothing. It was almost worse than the alternative. The anticipation was maddening. I half-wondered if he knew I was waiting, if he was deliberately drawing this out just to mess with me.
Finally, around midnight, I heard the faintest sound of a door opening and closing. My stomach twisted, though I wasnā€™t sure why. I told myself I didnā€™t care, that whatever he did wasnā€™t any of my business. There were a few thumps followed by a silence on the other side. I tried to focus on the tv but my ears seemed to be tuned in on what was going on the opposite side of the wall.
Minutes passed, and the silence persisted. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Nicholas had turned over a new leaf tonight, or maybe he just couldnā€™t hook himself a lady tonight. But just as my focus started to drift back to the tv, the silence was broken by a clear, unmistakable groan ā€” Nicholas. I half-expected it to be followed by the high-pitched moan of a woman, like it was both nights prior, but it never came.Ā 
I shouldā€™ve turned the volume up, drowned it out, or grabbed my headphones. Instead, I sat there, frozen, as the groaning grew louder ā€” his voice, unmistakable and far too close for comfort. I hated how my body reacted. The heat in my cheeks, the way my chest tightened with every noise, the throbbing sensation between my thighs. I shook my head, trying to dispel the thought, but I let my curiosity get the best of me.
I slid off the bed and crept toward the closet, my heart pounding in my chest. My rational side screamed at me to stop, to mind my own business, but something about the sound of his voice pulled me in. But the little devil on my shoulder told me that I had already eavesdropped twice before, whatā€™s one more time?
Opening the closet doors quietly, I leaned over the luggage rack and pressed my ear lightly against the cool surface of the wall, listening. The groans continued, low and guttural, accompanied by the light sound of a rhythmic wet slapping, sending an uninvited warmth through my body. It took a moment for me to realize there was no second voice, no telltale feminine giggle or breathy gasp. It was just Nicholas.
My breath caught in my throat. He's alone. The realization sent a shockwave through me, equal parts relief and something else I didn't want to name. He wasn't with anyone tonight. He was... taking care of himself.
I pressed my forehead against the wall, closing my eyes as his voice ā€” raw, unguarded, and achingly intimate ā€” filled my ears. My hand instinctively moved to my chest, clutching the fabric of my shirt as I fought the conflicting feelings that raced through me. However guilty I felt for listening in, I couldnā€™t pull myself away. I was entranced.
His groans deepened, interspersed with uneven breaths, and I felt my knees weaken. It was maddening how his voice seemed to reach right into me. My lips parted slightly, my breath shaky as my body betrayed me, responding to the sounds with a heat I tried desperately to ignore.
The wet slapping quickened, a whimper escaping his lips followed by erratic heavy breathing. I lost all inhibitions, slipping my hand under my underwear. I exhaled shakily, my head resting against the wall, feeling the vibrations of his voice travel through me. My fingers moved instinctively, slow and hesitant at first, matching the rhythm of the sounds spilling from him. Each groan, each sigh seemed to draw me deeper into a haze I couldn't escape.
My mind was a mess of contradictions: shame, desire, and something more dangerous ā€” an unspoken connection, even if he didn't know I was there. I bit my lip, trying to stay as silent as possible, but the tension within me built with each passing moment, threatening to undo me entirely.
ā€œFuckfuckfuck,ā€ Nicholas quickly whined out, followed by a loud moan.
I slipped my other hand under my shirt, kneading my breast, as my fingers worked my throbbing clit. I felt the rapid beat of my heart as it matched the rhythm of his breath. The heat between my legs intensified, and the sound of his voice grew louder in my ears, pulling me further into the spiral. His groans were rough, almost frantic now, and I could feel every pulse, every heavy breath reverberating through the wall like it was echoing through my very bones.
I tried to focus, tried to pull myself out of this situation before it became something I couldn't undo, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't pull away, couldn't shake the pull of him. I closed my eyes tightly, my fingers rubbing harder against my clit in frantic circles, then moving them lower and slipping my middle and ring finger inside of me. Desperate, I pulled my shorts off me, letting them land at my feet.
My own breathing became erratic, escaping through my nostrils as I tried to keep myself from making any sound, biting the inside of my cheek and shutting my eyes closed as I pleasured myself.
His voice broke through the haze of my thoughts again. "God... need you..."
The words, the desperation in them, sent me into a frenzy. I couldnā€™t hold in my voice any longer ā€” a quiet, whimper escaping my lips as I pumped my fingers inside me, pretending they were Nicholasā€™s. I could feel the tension in me coiling tighter and tighter the more I heard him talk through his pleasure.
A high-pitched groan slipped out of him, the wet slapping quickening even more. I could almost picture him on the other side ā€” laying down in the middle of his bed, shirtless. his legs dangling off as he tugged at himself, his eyes shut as he grabbed at his hair, giving in.
My breath hitched at the vivid image in my mind. It was a dangerous thought, but one that I desperately wished I was there to see.
I could almost hear the strained breath in his throat, as if he was on the edge, about to break. The thought alone sent an electric charge through me, spurring me to move faster, my fingers pressing deeper, matching the intensity of his own rhythm.
"Please," he moaned, his voice broken, raw with need. "Fuck..."
The vulnerability in his voice, so exposed, so real, made me lose all control. I found myself unable to think or reason anymore. I was lost in him, in the sound of his pleasure, and in the dangerous path I was walking.
His voice faltered, his groans growing more frantic, and that's when I felt it ā€” the sudden wave of warmth, the rush of sensation sweeping over me. But just as I was reaching my peak, so was he. Nicholas let out a sound so intimate and raw that it sent a shiver down my spine. Then came a low, guttural groan followed by the unmistakable ā€” my name.
ā€œ(Y/N)- fuck!ā€
It happened just as I was about to reach orgasm, but I was so startled to hear my name that my eyes shot open and I stumbled back from the wall, knocking over the luggage rack below with a solid thud as it tipped over. I tried to catch it before it hit the floor, stumbling to reach for it, but my effort was for naught. A deafening silence filled the room after the loud noise quickly settled. The only thing I could hear was the loud thumping coming from my chest, becoming faster as I realized my predicament.
My breath came in shallow gasps, my body stiff with tension, caught somewhere between shock and embarrassment. On the other side of the wall, there was a beat of complete silence. I held my breath, waiting to hear something ā€” anything ā€” but nothing came. Not a footstep, not a sound. My mind raced, praying that Nicholas mightā€™ve not heard the ruckus through his climax. Donā€™t orgasms dull oneā€™s senses?
And then, as if the silence was suffocating me, I heard it. A faint creak ā€” Nicholasā€™s door, opening then closing with a heavy thud. My chest tightened, anxiety coursing through my veins. I stood there frozen, my legs completely unable to move as if I had stuck them in buckets of cement. I felt every inch of my skin burn with humiliation. Thatā€™s when I heard a knock at my door, not light like the day before. It sounded desperate. I couldnā€™t run; I couldnā€™t hide. Nicholas knew I was in here.
Slowly, I inched closer to the door, my hand trembling as I reached for the doorknob. I tried to swallow my nerves, but I couldnā€™t fight the fact that I felt like I wasnā€™t getting enough oxygen. I breathed heavily as I opened the door, clutching at the edge as my eyes fell on Nicholasā€™s heaving bare chest.
He stood there, his chest rising and falling, glistening from the thin layer of sweat that he had worked up. A slight satisfied grin played on his lips as his eyes trailed down my body, lingering on my bottom half as I stood there in nothing but my shirt and lacy underwear.
He didn't wait for an invitation, stepping inside as soon as the door cracked open, closing it behind him with a deafening click. We stood there, facing each other, the silence hanging thick in the air. I could barely meet his gaze, my cheeks still burning with humiliation. I stammered, hoping to explain myself with a pathetic excuse of a reason, but he interrupted me with a quiet shush, still smirking.
He placed a finger gently over his lips, his eyes dark with something unreadable. "No need to explain," he whispered, stepping closer, his presence dominating the space between us. My breath hitched as he closed the distance, cornering me against the wall, his body heat enveloping me, making my pulse race.
The air felt thick, suffocating, as if the room was closing in on me with every breath. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I couldn't quite figure out what to do with my hands, so I held them behind my back, pressing them against the wall.
ā€œWere you listening in?ā€ He asked, brushing his hand up my sides before it settled on my hip, my body trembling under his touch. It was everything I wanted him to do to me, and yet, I still felt nervous under him.
Too ashamed of myself to open my mouth to answer, I nodded my head hesitantly. Nicholas's smirk widened, but there was no mockery in it. No teasing. His hand slid to my chin, tilting my head up so that our gazes locked. There was no escape now ā€” no way to hide.
ā€œI hoped you were,ā€ he murmured, his voice low and warm, sending shivers down my spine. His thumb traced the line of my jaw slowly, deliberately.
He was so close now that I could feel his breath against my skin, and I was painfully aware of how badly my body was reacting to him. His thumb brushed over my lips, and I instinctively parted them, my breath hitching as his gaze softened, darkened. I could feel the tension between us, so thick that I could almost taste it.
His other hand slid around to the small of my back, pressing me into him, the heat of his body sending waves of electricity through me. His eyes never left mine, and I could hear the rapid beat of my own heart in my ears, drowning out everything else.
Nicholas murmured, his voice dark and full of intention, "Did you enjoy what you heard?" His fingers tightened ever so slightly on my waist, as if testing my response, and I couldn't help the small, almost imperceptible nod that escaped my lips.
Nicholas's smirk deepened, and he closed the gap between us, his lips barely grazing mine. His breath was hot and intoxicating, and the world seemed to disappear around us.
ā€œWere you touching yourself?ā€ He questioned, his hand moving down to my hips, my body squirming the moment his finger hooked itself under the band of my underwear.
I closed my eyes, my lips parting at his touch, nodding my head again. My hands clenched behind my back, the urge to touch him overwhelming. But I couldn't seem to move, too caught up in the magnetic pull between us.
Nicholas's thumb traced the outline of my lips again, the action slow and deliberate. His gaze never left mine, and I could see the hunger in his eyes, the way he studied me like I was something he wanted, something he couldn't resist.
His voice was a whisper, low and intoxicating. "You can touch me if you want to." It was a quiet command, but there was an invitation in it.
I hesitated for a moment, but then, as if drawn by an invisible force, my hand slid up his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath the soft skin. My fingers traced the lines of his collarbone, skimming down to the waistband of his pants before I pulled away, suddenly embarrassed by the boldness of the move. Nicholas didn't give me time to retreat too much, though. With a gentle but firm grasp, he pulled my hand back to his chest, guiding it lower, urging me to feel the hard planes of his body.
His lips parted slightly as he lowered his head, his breath hot against my ear. ā€œDon't be shy,ā€ he whispered again, his voice thick with desire.
I swallowed hard, my pulse racing as I let my hand roam over his body, feeling the heat radiating from him. The muscles of his chest were solid under my touch, his skin warm and soft in contrast. My fingertips trailed down to the waistband of his pants again, this time without hesitation. He didn't stop me, didn't pull away. Instead, he let out a low, approving sound, his body shifting closer to mine.
The closeness was dizzying. His scent filled my senses, sharp and intoxicating, and I couldn't help but pull him toward me by his belt loops and lean in, my lips just inches from his.
He took charge, his lips brushing mine softly at first, teasing, testing, until the pressure grew, and I found myself kissing him back without hesitation. The kiss was electric, hungry, full of that same tension that had been building between us for days. His hand slid around my back, pulling me closer, as I tangled my fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss.
My body responded to him, betraying all the resistance l'd tried to put up. I felt his hands everywhere ā€” on my back, on my hips, his hands softly squeezing my ass, pulling me closer as if he couldn't get enough. A groan rumbled low in his throat as his lips moved to my neck, trailing kisses down the curve of my collarbone. I tilted my head back, surrendering to the sensation, every nerve alive, every thought clouded by the pull of him.
His hands slipped under my shirt, sliding along my bare skin, and I gasped at the coolness of his touch against the heat of my body. The intimacy of it all, the way he seemed to know exactly where to touch, how to make me shiver, was overwhelming. But I wasn't the only one lost in this; it was clear from his ragged breathing, from the way his hands shook slightly as they explored my body, that he was just as desperate as I was.
"Everything I did this weekend was to get your attention," Nicholas murmured against my skin. His lips pressed against the curve of my jaw, trailing to my ear, where he nipped at the lobe gently. "I've wanted you since the moment I saw you in the stairwell. I can't get enough of you, (Y/N),ā€ his voice rough, almost pleading, ā€œI want you.ā€
His confession hit me like a tidal wave, and for a second, I couldn't breathe. His words, his desire, everything he was feeling was laid bare before me, and I couldn't deny that I wanted him just as much.
"I want you, too, Nicholas," I whispered, my voice barely audible, but the raw honesty behind it made his body freeze. His hands paused where they rested on my back, and I could feel the weight of his gaze on me, as if he was trying to read my soul.
I, however, didn't hesitate. My hands found the sides of his face, pulling him back toward me as I kissed him fiercely. The kiss became frantic as our bodies collided, desperate, as though we were both starved for this connection. His hands moved quickly, pulling my shirt over my head and discarding it on the floor. I felt the cool air hit my skin, but it did nothing to dampen the fire building inside me.
I couldn't pull away. My body, my mind, all of it was consumed by him. His lips trailed down my neck, his teeth grazing lightly over the sensitive skin of my collarbone as his hands roamed lower, finding the waistband of my underwear again. I gasped as he gently tugged them down, his fingers brushing against my skin with an intimacy that made me tremble.
Nicholas was steady in his movements, never rushing, always making sure I was with him, always checking, always asking if I was okay with everything. But there was a fire in his eyes, a need that mirrored mine, a hunger that couldn't be ignored.
"I want to make you feel good," he whispered against my skin, his voice thick with desire. All I could do was nod my head at his statement, ready to give myself to him.
He wasted no time, lifting me effortlessly. I wrapped my legs around him, hooking them behind his lower back. The feeling of his jeans grazing my bare center was enough to trigger a quiet mewl out of me. Nicholas groaned at the sound, his lips crashing back onto mine as he carried me toward the bed. When my back hit the soft mattress, I felt the weight of him settle over me, his hands bracing either side of my head.
His gaze bore into mine, his chest rising and falling heavily as he paused, his face hovering just inches above mine. For a moment, everything stilled, the only sound was the rhythmic beat of our breaths mingling in the air between us. As he settled down in the space next to me, propping himself up by the elbow, his free hand reached up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing over my flushed skin with a tenderness that sent shivers down my spine. The both of us laid there, face to face.
His lips parted as if to say something but no words escaped his lips, the hand on my cheek slowly making its way down, down. It lingered, at first, over my sensitive breast, tracing slow circles around my nipple. I bit my lip at the sensation, digging my head into his chest as I quietly moaned.
Nicholas quietly giggled, amused to see me squirming under him, as he slithered his supporting arm behind my head and pulled me closer to him. His lips rested on my forehead as he slid his hand further down, enveloping my center. ā€œGod, youā€™re soaking,ā€ he whispered; I could feel his smirk against my skin.
His fingers massaged my throbbing bud, then slipped his fingers into me, his touch deft and confident. I loudly gasped and clutched at his arm, arching into him. ā€œOh, fuck,ā€ I quietly breathed, nibbling on my bottom lip to bite back my moans.
He smiled, ā€œDonā€™t hold yourself back. Be as loud as you want,ā€ he whispered as his fingers continued to coax me, his thumb massaging my clit.
Digging my nails into his shoulder, my chest violently rising and falling as he pumped his fingers, I shook my head. ā€œSomebodyā€™s gonna hear,ā€ I stammered out through my labored breathing.
ā€œSo?ā€ He questioned, slipping a third finger in. Nicholas's confidence was maddening, his tone both teasing and commanding, making it impossible to resist him. ā€œLet them hear how good I make you feel," he murmured, his lips brushing against my temple.
My body arched involuntarily, my head falling back into the pillow as a moan escaped me despite my best efforts to stifle it. Nicholas was not having it. He quickened his pace, quickly slipping in and out with ease, as his thumb continued to circle around my clit. His lips kissed at my neck, his tongue licking my skin before gently sucking. I turned my head, my hand clutching at the back of his hair as I passionately made out with him, softly moaning between kisses.
I was unraveling beneath him, my body trembling as the heat coiled tighter and tighter in my core. My moans slowly became louder and louder, filling the room, and I knew there was no hiding how he was making me feel. The pleasure that I was feeling was so great that I couldnā€™t focus on kissing Nicholas anymore. I had to pull my head away, glancing down at his hand pumping in and out of me before shutting my eyes and burying my head into his chest again. I could barely find the strength to call out to him, my voice faltering as I moaned out, ā€œNicā€¦ā€Ā 
"That's it,ā€ he encouraged, his voice a low growl. "Say my name, baby,ā€ his fingers reshaping themselves inside me to reach further
My breathing became erratic hearing him call me baby, my nails raking across his shoulder as I clung to him, "Nicholas," I cried, louder this time, no longer caring who might hear.
The sound of my voice seemed to spur him on, his movements growing even more precise, more relentless. His words, his touch, the heat of his body ā€” it was all too much. "Itā€™s ok; Iā€™ve got you," he murmured against my neck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along my skin. His gaze locking with mine, his fingers never faltering.
His words were my undoing. I shattered around him, my body arching as a wave of pleasure crashed over me, pulling me under. My cries of ecstasy filled the room, and I clung to Nicholas like he was the only thing keeping me tethered to reality. He held me through it, his embrace steady and reassuring as I rode out the high while his fingers continued to coax every pleasure out of me, slowing to a stop.
When I finally came down, my body limped against his, Nicholas pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his hand leaving my core and coming up to his lips. I watched in awe as he licked at his fingers, wrapping his lips around them as he savored every trace of me with a deliberate slowness that made my breath hitch. His eyes never left mine, their intensity sending a shiver down my spine. I buried my face against his shoulder, my breathing still uneven.
He brushed away the damp hair from my face with the back of his pinky, ā€œYou taste even better than I imagined,ā€ he spoke softly, his voice velvety.
The weight of his gaze was almost too much, but when I looked into his brown eyes, all I saw was warmth, tenderness, and something deeper that made my stomach ache. My stomach wasnā€™t the only thing aching, either. The entirety of me did ā€” my hands, my core, my soul. I ached for him.
Desperate to have him at the end of my fingertips, I trailed my hands across his chest, settling on the nape of his neck as I captured his lips in a kiss. Nicholas replied with a soft groan, his hand finding my waist and his fingers delicately digging into my skin. The kiss deepened, our breaths mingling as I pulled him closer, needing to feel every inch of him against me. My hands wandered, exploring the contours of his back, his muscles taut under my fingertips.
I pulled my lips away, pressing my forehead against his, ā€œI hope youā€™re not done with me yet,ā€ I whispered.
A soft chuckle escaped his lips, ā€œFar from it.ā€
He cradled my head in his hand, angling it slightly as his lips moved with mine, urgent yet tender. Nicholas shifted his weight, moving slightly up on the bed, grabbing me by my hips and rolling himself over on the bed as he pulled me on top of him.
My legs straddled his hips, my bare skin brushing against the rough denim of his jeans. The friction sent a jolt through me, and I bit my lip, my eyes locking with his. His hands slid up my thighs, gripping them firmly as if grounding himself in the moment. His gaze roamed over me with unrestrained hunger, making my skin flush under his scrutiny.
His hands continued their slow exploration, sliding up to rest on my waist. "I could look at you like this forever."
His words sent a thrill through me, and I couldn't help but smile, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. He met me halfway, his hands tightening their grip as he deepened the kiss. I let my hands roam, tracing the lines of his chest and shoulders, marveling at the strength beneath my fingertips. His muscles flexed as he moved beneath me, his hands sliding up to cradle my back, holding me close.
My hips began to move instinctively, grinding against him, and Nicholas groaned, his head falling back against the pillow as his eyes fluttered shut. His reaction ignited something in me, a newfound confidence that made me bold. I leaned down, my lips brushing against his ear as I whispered, "Tell me what you want, Nicholas."
His hands gripped my waist tighter, guiding my movements as he let out a low growl. "I want you," he said, his voice rough with desire.
The intensity of his words sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't hold back the smile that spread across my face. Leaning down, I kissed him again, pouring every ounce of my own desire into it. My hands tangled in his hair as our lips moved together, our breaths mingling as the space between us disappeared entirely.
Nicholas's hands slid down to my ass, his touch firm yet gentle as he guided me to move against him. The friction between us was electric, each movement sending waves of pleasure through me. His lips left mine to trail down my neck, his teeth grazing over my skin in a way that made me gasp.
"You drive me crazy, (Y/N)," he murmured against my collarbone, his voice raw, ā€œyou know that?"
I smiled, my hands bracing against his chest as I moved against him, my confidence growing with every reaction I drew from him. "I do now," I replied, my voice breathless.
Nicholas groaned, his hand digging into my skin as he bucked his hips upward, meeting my movements. His control was slipping, and I could feel it in the way his grip tightened, the way his breathing grew ragged. I continued to grind against him, trying to coax out the whimpers I had heard escape his lips when I was listening through the wall.
Nicholas's hands slid up my back, his fingers tracing along my spine as he tried to steady himself. His head fell back, his eyebrows tied together as his lips parted in a quiet moan that sent a rush of heat through me. But it wasnā€™t enough. I brushed my thumb against his bottom lip, slowing to a stop so he could feel the loss, teasing him with the occasional grind, ā€œI want to hear you, Nic.ā€
He nodded his head, pressing me down against him as he bucked his hips upward repeatedly, desperate for me to continue. ā€œPlease, (Y/N),ā€ he shut his eyes closed as he ground himself against me, quietly whining.
Smirkingly, I obliged, slowly continuing to grind against him. I rested my palms on his tense chest, bringing them down to the waistband of his jeans. His fingers curled into my thighs the faster I worked, moaning louder and louder.
ā€œFuck, I canā€™tā€”ā€œ he threw his head back, raggedly moaning.
Looking at him in such a vulnerable state underneath me after days of having to deal with his cocky confidence, it made my blood rush. I played with the button of his jeans, undoing them and shimmying his pants and boxers off just enough for his hard length to free itself under me. I spit my hand, gently stroking him as I positioned his member at my entrance.
Nicholas let out a guttural groan, his hands gripping me firmly as I hovered over him, teasing him with my slow movements. I lowered myself onto him, taking him in inch by inch, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure coursing through my body. A sharp gasp escaped my lips, and Nicholasā€™s eyes rolled back, his head falling back onto the pillow again. The connection between us was electric, every movement, every sound amplifying the intensity of the moment. Nicholas's hands roamed over my body, his touch both tender and possessive.
As I rode him, I grabbed Nicholasā€™s hands, leading them to my chest. Even though he could barely keep his eyes open, he understood what I wanted, beginning to knead and pinch at my breasts. I moaned at his touch, bringing one hand of his up to my lips to kiss his fingertips before placing it back on my breast.
Suddenly, I felt him tense under me, arching his back toward me, "Don't stop," he pleaded, his voice becoming an octave higher, his grip on me tightening. "Please, baby, don't stop.ā€
I didn't. I couldn't. The rhythm between us was intoxicating, building to something that felt almost otherworldly. My name fell from his lips like a prayer, and the sound sent a surge of pleasure through me, pushing me closer and closer to the edge.
Nicholas's hands fell to my hips, guiding my movements as his breathing grew erratic. "I'm close," he groaned, his voice a mix of desperation and pleasure.
I leaned down, my lips brushing against his ear as I whispered, ā€œCome for me, Nic." My words seemed to break the last of his restraint, and his hips bucked up into me with an urgency that sent shockwaves through my entire body.
ā€œFuck, (Y/N), I ā€”ā€œ His words cut off as a guttural groan escaped him, his body arching beneath me as he came. The intensity of his release sent me spiraling over the edge with him, my body trembling as the product of his pleasure filled me completely, some of the creamy liquid slowly dripping out me.
The aftershocks of our climax left us both trembling, our breaths mingling as we tried to regain control of ourselves. I collapsed onto Nicholas's chest, his arms immediately wrapping around me, holding me close as though he couldn't bear the thought of letting go.
For a while, we just lay there, our bodies pressed together, hearts pounding in unison. His fingers traced lazy patterns along my spine, a small, satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath me, the steady rhythm lulling me into a serene haze.
He caught his breath, ā€œThat wasā€¦.ā€ a hint of a chuckle at the end of his words, ā€œThat was fucking incredible,ā€ he said as he kissed the top of my head.
I pulled myself off of Nicholas, lying down next to him and covering myself with the bed sheets. I thought about what he had said earlier at the beach ā€” I may not give in easily, but when I do, I give in completely. It felt nice to finally be seen by someone who could understand me even after only knowing me for a few days compared to other people who have known me for years and still manage to get things wrong about me.
I rolled over to face Nicholas, my hand finding his. He smiled softly, intertwining his fingers with mine and kissing the back of my hand. A smile curled at the end of my lips seeing him so affectionate, ā€œWhen do you check out of the hotel?ā€ I asked, playing with his hand.
ā€œIn the morning. You?ā€ He asked, caressing my cheek with his other hand.
ā€œIn the morning,ā€ I replied, my eyes flickering up at him to see his reaction.
He was quiet, not saying anything at first, however, he rolled me over and pulled me closer to him, spooning me and pressing a kiss to my shoulder. ā€œWeā€™ll have tonight, then,ā€ he whispered, wrapping his heavy arm around my waist and nuzzling his head into the pillow.
My chest tightened at his words, and I couldn't help but smile softly. I rested my hand above his, intertwining our fingers. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep to the sound of Nicholasā€™s soft, rhythmic breathing.
A few hours later, which felt like minutes, I stirred awake to the soft light filtering through the curtains. The remnants of the previous night were scattered around ā€” my shirt and underwear and his jeans and boxers strewn carelessly across the floor, the faint scent of Nicholas's cologne mingling with the crisp hotel room air.
The weight of his big, beefy arm draped over my waist anchored me in place. For a moment, I stayed still, savoring the warmth of his body against mine and the gentle rise and fall of his chest beneath my cheek before I rotated in place so I could admire Nicholas as he rested.Ā 
We were so close that I could count the beauty marks on his face. There was one on his cheek and another on his chin. His lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones, his lips slightly parted as he breathed deeply. I softly grazed my fingers over the scar on his forehead, wondering how he mightā€™ve gotten it, though Iā€™m not sure if Iā€™d ever find out. He looked peaceful, vulnerable even, and the sight tugged at something deep within me.
I let my fingers trail lightly over his chest, tracing the faint outlines of the muscles that had pressed against me so urgently just hours ago. He stirred slightly, a low hum escaping his throat as his arm tightened around me instinctively.
His eyes fluttered open, landing on me before he closed them again for a few seconds, ā€œMorning,ā€ he murmured, smiling, his voice thick and husky from sleep. He opened his eyes again, gazing at me longingly.
"Morning," I whispered back, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze despite everything we had shared. His hand slid up my back, his fingers tangling in my hair as he leaned in for a slow, lingering kiss.
ā€œAre we staying in?ā€ he asked, shifting his body to face me.
I smiled, running a hand through his messy bedhead. "Oh, I wish," I admitted, my cheeks flushing as the memories of the night before flooded back, "but we have to check out.ā€
Nicholas groaned, his forehead pressing gently against mine. ā€œDonā€™t remind me,ā€ he teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from my face, his fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary. ā€œWe should get some breakfast together before we leave.ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ I agreed, pushing myself up and sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching my arms. I let out a small sigh, feeling the weight of the moment settle on me. The night had been incredible, but the thought of leaving was already filling me with an unexpected ache. ā€œBreakfast sounds perfect,ā€ I said softly, faking a small yawn.
Nicholas and I didnā€™t waste any time. I changed into a clean set of clothes and packed up my things, my body slowly waking up the more I walked back and forth in the room. Nicholas put on his boxers and jeans and retreated to his room for a bit, quickly throwing all his stuff into a backpack before coming back to my room and helping me carry my bags to the car.
I think I was too somber to say anything, knowing if I did, that a ā€œgoodbyeā€ might be attached to the end of whatever I say.
The silence between us felt heavy but not uncomfortable as we made our way to the cafƩ, our movements synchronized without the need for words.
As we entered, the delicious smell of freshly-baked pastries beckoned to us. The morning sunlight filtered through the large windows, casting soft rays across the inside. The sound of light chatter and the occasional clinking of cups and forks against the ceramic plates filled the air, but it all felt distant compared to the warmth between Nicholas and me.
He slithered his hand into mine as he led us to the register, politely smiling to the worker. He ordered his meal, a coffee and a Belgian waffle. I was about to order for myself when he interrupted. ā€œSheā€™ll have the Italian crĆØme croissant and a pot of green tea, please.ā€
I couldnā€™t help but smile. That first morning in the cafĆ©, I couldā€™ve sworn Nicholas was so focused on his book that he didnā€™t realize what was going on around him; I had no idea he was paying attention to me the entire time.
He paid the worker for our food, letting her keep the change, and waked us over to the same table I had sat in both days prior. We sat close, our knees brushing under the table as we picked at our food, the conversation flowing easily despite the unspoken weight of the situation hanging in the air. After some minutes, the worker came over with our food, and we continued to converse while enjoying our breakfast.
Nicholas looked at me, his expression soft but with a hint of something more playful. ā€œSo, at what point are you gonna give me your number?ā€ he asked, taking a bite of his waffle.
I paused, chuckling softly as I chewed on my croissant for a moment before meeting his gaze. ā€œWhat?ā€ I asked confusedly, trying to keep my tone casual, though my heart rate had sped up slightly.
ā€œWhat, you thought youā€™d get rid of me so easily?ā€ He took a sip of his coffee, shaking his head and smirking.
I laughed, the sound a little nervous but genuine. ā€œI just didnā€™t want to assume anything or get my hopes up,ā€ I admitted, giving him a sideways glance. There was a warmth spreading through me that I couldnā€™t quite place, something between affection and the lingering thrill of uncertainty.
Nicholasā€™s eyes softened, and he leaned back slightly, his hands wrapped around his cup. ā€œWell, get your hopes up,ā€ he said, his voice steady but with an undercurrent of something deeper. ā€œbecause I donā€™t plan on letting go of you anytime soon.ā€
I swallowed, feeling my heart rate quicken at his words. There was something about the way he said it ā€” so casually but with an intensity beneath the surface ā€” that made me realize just how serious he was. And maybe how serious I was about him too.
ā€œAlright, alright,ā€ I said, smiling, trying to shake off the sudden rush of emotions swirling inside me. ā€œLetā€™s trade phones.ā€
Nicholasā€™s smile widened, and he handed me his phone without hesitation, his fingers brushing against mine as we traded devices. I typed my number into the phone app, adding myself as a contact.
ā€œJust remember weā€™re in different time zones before you decide to call me in the middle of the night,ā€ I joked as I handed his phone back to him.
Nicholas laughed, a warm, genuine sound that made my heart flutter. ā€œIā€™ll keep that in mind,ā€ he replied, slipping the phone back into his pocket then handing me mine, the screen off. ā€œThough I wonā€™t make any promises I canā€™t keep.ā€
I rolled my eyes playfully, but the blush creeping up my neck betrayed me.
We finished our breakfast. Nicholas quietly walked me over to my car. He walked close to me, his hand occasionally brushing against mine before finally capturing it. He leaned casually against the car with his arms crossed. He looked so effortless, so at ease, but there was something in his eyes ā€” a softness, maybe even a hint of reluctance ā€” that made it clear he felt the weight of the moment, too.
We both stood there silently, knowing this was our goodbye. Nicholas uncrossed his arms, stepping closer until he was right in front of me. His fingers tilted my chin up, and he searched my eyes, his brows knitting together slightly as if to say something. However, instead of resorting to words, he inched his face closer and closer until our lips grazed.Ā 
The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if we were both trying to hold on to the fleeting moment. But then, as if we both couldnā€™t help it, the kiss deepened, more urgent now, the electricity between us undeniable. My hands found their way to his shirt, pulling him closer, while his arms wrapped around me, his fingers pressing into my back as if he wanted to keep me there forever. Though, we pulled away slowly, our foreheads resting against each other as we caught our breath. Neither of us spoke immediately, both of us reluctant to break the spell.
Nicholas stepped back, ā€œHow about next time you have a free weekend you treat yourself to a trip to LA and come visit me?ā€
My heart skipped a beat at his words, the weight of his offer sinking in. I couldnā€™t tell if it was the sudden openness of his invitation or the quiet sincerity in his voice that made it feel so real. It wasnā€™t just a passing comment; it was an open door between us.
ā€œIā€™d like that,ā€ I said softly, surprised by how easily the words came out.
He smiled, his expression softening. ā€œGood.ā€ He reached up, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch lingering as his eyes locked onto mine.
I wanted to say more ā€” something that could make this moment last longer, something to ease the ache already starting to form in my chest. But the words didnā€™t come, and instead, we stood there, wrapped in silence, our connection hanging between us like an unspoken promise.
He gave me one lingering kiss, brief but filled with everything we couldnā€™t put into words. When we finally pulled away, he looked at me, as if taking one final mental picture of me standing there, before speaking. ā€œIā€™ll call you.ā€
I nodded, feeling the flutter of anticipation start to rise inside me. ā€œYou better.ā€
He squeezed my hand gently before opening my car door and slyly rolling down the window, watching me climb inside and closing the door for me. He leaned on the door, softly smiling, ā€œTo be continued.ā€
I couldnā€™t help but smile and give him one final kiss through the open window so I could savor his taste before starting up the car. He stepped back, hands in his pockets, to give me enough room to back out of the parking space. I slowly reversed out, waving my hand at him and driving out into the street.
The quiet hum of the engine filled the space, but the silence didnā€™t feel empty. There was something between us, something that went beyond just a weekend. It was more than Iā€™d expected, more than Iā€™d thought I was ready for, but as I drove away, I couldnā€™t shake the feeling that this wasnā€™t the end.
I donā€™t think I even left the neighborhood before a phone call interrupted my thoughts. My carā€™s entertainment screen lit up with the contact name in big, bold letters ā€” Room 5.
I couldnā€™t help but laugh, shaking my head as I tapped the answer button on the steering wheel. ā€œHey,ā€ I teased, my voice light and playful, though my chest felt warm at the sight of his contact name lighting up my screen.
ā€œHey,ā€ Nicholasā€™s voice came through, smooth and familiar.
It was just the beginning.
Continue the story with 'Making Room' here
496 notes Ā· View notes
dinogoofymutated Ā· 9 months ago
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Hi can you write something for Logan? I donā€™t have anything in particular in mind, but I never see this man get any love. Thanks!
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NSFW!Wolverine/AFAB! Reader
Hope this is okay! I tried so hard to post it last night but tumblr kept failing on me. It wouldn't even save as a draft! If you see this before I've added the meat to the fic, it's because I'm testing because tumblr is being a dick and I'll edit in the good stuff soon.
Edit: Yay! It worked! I was just uploading too much at once I guess. Had to brake it all down for it to work!
Tw: MNDI!! pnv, fem reader, creampie, size difference, petnames. Praise kink.
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If you asked him personally, Logan would say he's extremely unlucky, cursed even. and With everything he's gone through, he might be correct. But still, he is certainly blessed in at least one aspect.
Logan had a really, really nice cock. It wasn't pretty like the perfect ones in porn, but damn, was it nice. It has prominent veins that you couldn't help but spoil every time you your hands (or mouth) on him. He was flushed a deep red color at the stip, and proportional, a good 5 or six comfortable inches.
The only thing is, Logan's cock was thick. impressively, deliciously thick. When the two of you started to take your relationship to the next level, Logan didn't hesitate to warn you. That didn't stop him from Taking care of you though. He'd pump his thick fingers in an out of you, curling and stretching you, finding the most pleasure spots inside of you to get you to cum and cum hard.
But every time the two of you would get close to going further, he'd back out. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable, or that he didn't want to, he just wanted to make sure he didn't hurt you.He'd always end up saying ā€œ ā€˜next time, sunshine.ā€ Or ā€œJust wanna make sure I take care of you properly.ā€ and although it was sweet, you knew what you could handle, and you were determined to climb this man like a tree.
And if there was anything Logan knew more than anything, it was to never get in the way of a determined woman.
You had spent what felt like hours in Logan's sheets, his fingers curling deep in your cunt, stretching and touching the most sensitive parts of you. He kissed every tender part of you, letting you writhe and moan underneath him. He wanted to make sure that you were ready for him beyond a shadow of a doubt, knowing how stubborn you are when you really want something. This was no different. And after Cumming twice on his fingers, you were sure you could make it work. Logan sighed as you straddled him, grinding his cock against your slick cunt to try and lube him up. He sets his hands on your thighs, comfortingly caressing the plush skin. The two of you gasp when his head brushes against your Clit, an electric shock of pleasure bolting through your bodies. Logan is laid back against the pillows on his bed, looking up at you with a heated gaze.
ā€œ ā€˜you okay there, doll?ā€ He asks, the words rumbling through his chest with a groan. He smirks just barely as you scoff, adjusting yourself on your knees as you line his cock up with your slit.
ā€œI'm- fine, I can do this.ā€ You huff, grinding down against his thick head. Logan sucks in a breath as you do so, teeth latching onto his lip as we watches you desperately try to take him. He's not going in as easy as you thought he would, and it almost makes you feel discouraged. You were so sure you could take him, and you didn't want to quit now. Your eyebrows furrow as you struggle, and at some point his cock slips out and away from your hole. Logan lets out a grunt as you flinch, mortified.
ā€œAh- Sorry.ā€ You're doing your best to not let it get to you, but there was such a sinking feeling in your chest. Almost as if he can sense it, Logan reaches up, taking your chin in-between his thumb and index finder and tilting your head down to look at him.
ā€œIt's okay.ā€ Logan assures you. ā€œJust relax. You'll get it.ā€ His thumb drags across your lip, calloused hand brushing against your tits as he brings it down to your clit. He circles the nub gently first, then with a tad bit more pressure. You hear him chuckle as you eyes flutter closed, moaning at the pleasurable sensation.
ā€œokay.ā€ You sigh, trying to align himself with you once again. You try it a little slower this time, grinding down with just enough pressure. The both of you gasp when the head of his cock notches against your slit, an improvement from before. Then, almost suddenly, it slides in.
ā€œFuck.ā€ Logan grunts. His cock was hardly halfway inside, but that didn't stop the moans you let out at the pleasure- and slight discomfort- of having him inside you. The stretch was slightly painful, but you can't seem to stop yourself from grinding against him, trying to take him further.
ā€œLoganā€¦ā€ The whine of his name comes out involuntarily, and the strong man inbetween your thighs shushes you sweetly, adjusting himself so he's sitting against the headboard. He brings you closer to him, snaking his hand around the nape of your neck to bring you into a kiss. He hardly gives himself time to breathe in between kisses. Logan bites your lip, licking into your mouth when you gasp at the painful pinch. He groans when you clench around his length. Still not quite adjusted to what you could fit, and his hand grabs hold onto your thighs and squeezes.
ā€œI know, sweetheart.ā€ He says, finally pulling back. ā€œI know. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.ā€ You bite your lip, leaning your head on his shoulder as you begin to move your hips again. The process is slow, sinking onto him inch by inch as your body adjusts to the girth, but when you finally feel the base of his cock finally sink into you, you've never felt so accomplished.
ā€œGood girl.ā€ Logan grunts into your ear. ā€œ ā€˜did such a good job.ā€ You yelp a little as his hips jerk, thrusting up into you. You cry out Logan's name, holding onto his shoulders as he starts to slowly pull out of you, gently thrusting back inside as he cups your face, kissing you gently. It feels good. Like he's rubbing against every spot inside of you perfectly. His slow, loving pace felt good, so, so good. But it could only keep the two of you satisfied for so long. The next time Logan pulls out of you, you slam down with a little more force. He lets out a choked moan, before you hear him chuckle. He pulls away from you just slightly, arms wrapped around your waist as he smirks at the needy look on your face. You're impatient however, and grind against him sharply when he stops moving. A flicker of pleasure flashes across his face before he's growling. He pulls you against him, pressed flush against your body as he begins to thrust more aggressively.
ā€œCouldn't be patient, could you?ā€ He growls. Your noises are embarrassingly loud as he picks up speed, fucking into you just like you had spent so much time imagining he would- and he was right too. You couldn't be patient. He moves his hips just slightly, hitting that one spongy spot inside of you that makes you see stars. You can't help but cry out, and without having to even tell him, he's hitting thay spot over and over again without fail. His grunts and groans are starting to get louder, and you can feel the knot in your stomach coming so close to snapping.
ā€œFuck- Logan!ā€ He groans at the way you say his name, the knot snapping as you reach your peak and cum hard on his cock. He curses, burying his face into your neck as he starts to crumble at the feeling of your warm walls fluttering around him, desperately trying to milk him for what he's worth. He almost lets out a whine as he cums, and the noise surprises you. You can feel him twitch as spurts of his cum warm up your insides. By the time he's done, you're sure he must be leaking out of you. You lay against him, boneless as the two of you pant for air. Logan begins to press gentle kisses against your neck, praising you for how well you did. You sigh, content. Logan lays the two of you down on the bed, holding you close as his cock starts to soften inside of you.
Logan Howlett was definitely blessed.
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superhoeva Ā· 2 months ago
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š“š‡š„ š‘šˆš‹š„š˜ š…š€šŒšˆš‹š˜: šš„šƒš“šˆšŒš„
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main masterlist | series masterlist | tag
ā¬© pairing(s) gomez inspired!simon "ghost" riley x morticia inspired!fem!reader (feat. tf 141)
ā¬© warning(s) language, spiders (mentioned), devoted husband!simon (seriously, he's absolutely obsessed with you!), dad!simon, mom!reader, mary shelley honorable mention, sexual tension, very light smut
ā¬© author's note can not get enough of this family. this one cuts off right before mom and dad get to it but don't worry because there is definitely some gross stuff to look forward to! (lovely divider is by @wethairjoel)
ā¬© word count 0.8k
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Bedtime stories are a major event in the Riley household, and itā€™s all because of you.
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is what the children begged you to pick for this monthā€™s readings. Unsurprising to you, Simon had Mr. Alfie find and purchase the prettiest 1831 edition of the story he could find. And find it the butler did, earning delighted cheers from the children and a raise in his already gracious salary at your direction.
Now, here you sit with your back against Ravenā€™s bedframe, the girl is tucked into your side while Reaper rests his head on your thigh and plays with a loose thread on your floor-length nightgown. Simon opts to lean with crossed arms at Ravenā€™s doorframe, heart squeezing at the sight of the three of you.
The children listen with full attention and Simon doesnā€™t have to wonder whyā€“youā€™re magnetic. Eyes bright as you read the prose with all of the elegance and charm in the world. You do the voices and make faces, pulling a few smiles from Reaper and giggles from Raven. Simon himself canā€™t help but grin a little, mind floating back to when youā€™d first started the story.
It was a few Sunday dinners ago, and your audience was slightly larger than it is now after the children had convinced Johnny, Kyle, and Price to stay a little longer that evening.
You read to everyone in the sitting room of your large residence, settled in an Oxford Red Chesterfield chair. Raven and Reaper coaxed Johnny and Kyle to sit on the floor with them while Simon and John opted for the nearest sofa and a few fingers of whisky. Even Mr. Alfie had to stop and tune in for a spell.
ā€œSheā€™s somethingā€¦ā€ Price whispered to Simon that night just under his breath, and it was more than just the alcohol and full belly talking. Your husband could only huff with a nod, already aware with how effortlessly you allure his closest friends.
Simon canā€™t help but think the same, watching you here tonight.
The children whine and beg for just a few more pages, Mama when you finish this eveningā€™s reading. Just as they do every night.Ā 
ā€œTomorrow, my loves,ā€ you promise them, and they know not to argue any further. ā€œNow go kick Papa goodnight.ā€
Reaper is the first off the mattress, Simon barely catching the nine-year-old before he tackles his father at the legs. The boy pairs his hug with a soft kick to Simonā€™s foot.
ā€œGoodnight, Papa.ā€
Simon bends, smooching a kiss into Reaperā€™s forehead.
ā€œNight, my boy,ā€ Simon replies sweetly. ā€œLemme say goodnight to your sister, then Iā€™ll be over to tuck you, alright?ā€
Reaper gives a fast nod, hurrying from Ravenā€™s room and a few doors down to the other bedroom of the hall. Simon watches him scamper, turning to Raven whoā€™s flying into his arms faster than he can blink. Letting out a surprised oof as her knee hits his stomach.
ā€œNighnight, Papa,ā€ she states, voice forcing a smile into your lips. Her little arms circle around his neck and she squeezes with all her might. ā€œI love you more than spiders, mud, and all my toys.ā€
You and Simon share a chuckle at your daughterā€™s words. Rocking her, Simon embraces her back with an exploding chest.
ā€œI love you more than spiders, mud, and all your toys.ā€ He releases her after one last squeeze and doesnā€™t let the child go until her dangling feet touch the ground once more. ā€œNow go kiss Mama.ā€
Raven turns but stops. Looking back at her father, a mischievous grin brightens her face. Both you and Simon already know whatā€™s coming. You have to cover the laugh that leaves your mouth as Ravenā€™s little foot smacks against her father a bit harder than Reaperā€™s did.
Simon jerks, rubbing at the spot with a fake wince while Raven runs back towards the bed with a bubbling giggle. Jumping atop the mattress, she crawls into your open arms. Simon lingers on the two of you before retreating to go take care of Reaper.
ā€œDo you love me more than spiders and mud and toys? Hm?ā€
Raven nods right away at your question, kissing your nose before rolling to snuggle over her comforter. You scoot to the edge of the bed, working diligently to make sure sheā€™s tucked and content.
Leaving her with one final peck on the cheek, you wish Raven sweet nightmares and flick her light.
Simon finds you laying across your shared bed, arms thrown back and eyes closed. He can tell you arenā€™t sleeping, as you arenā€™t able to unless heā€™s alongside you.
His steps are heavy as he trails into the room, breathing deeply and finally stopping the the foot of the bed.
ā€œIā€™d die for youā€¦ā€ Simon declares in the silence. ā€œKill for you, too.ā€
The statement flicks open your eyes, which you settle upon your husband. He studies you with a heat that has your insides fuzzing into something sweet. Slipping to the edge of the bed, you balance on your knees in front of him and sigh blissfully. Hands on your cheeks, Simon tugs you into a deep snog. Tongue swirling, he guides your head with a tender touch, eyes rolling at the taste of you.
A broken groan leaves him when you pull away, his lip trapped inbetween the rows of your teeth. After smirking up at him, Simon drags your mouth back to his and leans you backward.Ā  You fall onto the bed in a tangled pair, Simon inhaling the gasp that leaves you when your back hits the mattress.
ā€œYouā€™re everything,ā€ Simon pants out, so overwhelmed by the way you look up at him with swollen lips and darkened eyes that he has to kiss you again.
ā€œYouā€™re the reason I breathe.ā€
Kiss.
ā€œThe reason I want to breathe.ā€
Kiss.
ā€œAnd a day aloneā€“without you, loveā€¦ that would be my death...ā€
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VOTE IN THE LATEST POLL (NOV 4-5)
Ā© š¬š®š©šžš«š”šØšžļæ½ļ潚š
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talesof-old Ā· 10 months ago
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handle it | a.s., h.l.r., g.c.
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pairing(s): poly!batboys x fem!eader
warning(s): 18+, smut, couples arguing, teasing, piv sex, handjobs (f receiving), oral (m receiving), reader has a vagina and is referred to by her/she, reader is called pretty girl, men being annoying and protective/possessive, if you squint thereā€™s wing play, i did not proofread or edit because for some reason this put me in a slump, i think thatā€™s all
word count: 1.7k
a/n: sorry this took me so long i was strugglinggg so it does end kind of abruptly
masterlist
poly!batboys + smut, angst + happy ending
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ā€œFor the last time, you will not tell me I canā€™t go.ā€
Azriel barked a hoarse, humorless laugh, his eyes cold as he looked down at you. Gone were the days of training at Windhaven, children playing war as the world fell apart. No, now Rhys was High Lord, and you were a long way from the mountains you once called home.
ā€œIā€™m in charge of this mission. What I say goes. And you are not going.ā€
Throwing your arms up in exasperation, you catch a glimpse of Cassianā€™s amused expression and Rhysandā€™s impassive face. They knew better than to get between the two of you. Azrielā€™s barely contained rage that settled just beneath his skin could burn hot at any given moment, and you were a formidable opponent that even your battle seasoned superiors knew better than to rile.
ā€œYouā€™re staying here.ā€
You whirled around, face nearly coming into contact with Azrielā€™s hard chest. Your wings flared.
ā€œRhys has the final say. Iā€™m going.ā€
Violet eyes flickered between the two of you, one side of his lips quirking up in a smirk as Rhys shrugged. Anger flared in your chest. There was no reason for him not to side with you. Youā€™d proven yourself over and over again, earned your place just as much as they had. It wasnā€™t fair.
ā€œRhys, I swear on the Mother-ā€œ Rhys shook his head, silencing Azriel as he moved. Cassian followed after him, both quick to leave you two alone.
ā€œFigure this out between you. Weā€™re not getting involved.ā€
Azrielā€™s jaw clenched as the door shut behind them; the silence that followed was deafening. His shadows darted out and away from him, only to return to curl around his body like they couldnā€™t decide whether to comfort you or their master. It wouldā€™ve been comical, really, if Azrielā€™s sharp eyes werenā€™t burning holes into your forehead. You fought the urge to roll your eyes.
ā€œIā€™ll see you at dinner.ā€ Azriel didnā€™t say a word as you walked out the room.
Dinner was not a pleasant affair. Mor picked up on the tension between the shadowsinger and you with a simple glance, and it seemed to only agitate you further. Territorial fae bastards, the lot of them.
ā€œWe still set for that shopping trip on Saturday?ā€ Morā€™s honey voice filled your ears and you allowed yourself to smile. At the end of the table, Azriel sat stiff as a board, barely touching the food on his plate.
ā€œOf course, I still need something for Dawnā€™s ball.ā€
She nodded, sipping her wine as she contemplated. You raised a brow. There was something mischievous in her eyes as she spoke next.
ā€œI hear Caius was asking after you.ā€ Shadows exploded across the room, darting out to weave through your hair and urge you towards their source. You narrowed your eyes at Mor who simply threw her head back and laughed. Amren scoffed over her glass.
ā€œAz.ā€ At Rhysā€™ firm tone, the shadows were reeled back in, and light filled the room once more.
ā€œWeā€™re leaving. Iā€™ll keep you both updated.ā€ A warm hand clasped yours and then all of a sudden you were in Rhysā€™ bedroom, perched on the edge of his bed. You turned to the partner in question.
What the fuck?
Rhys chuckled in your mind.
I thought you two wouldā€™ve sorted this out.
You rolled your eyes at that, turning to flop onto the bed, wings draped over your body. Rhys rested a hand on your lower back, shivers crawling up your spine as he massaged your tailbone.
Heā€™s a possessive prick.
Rhys laughed out loud this time, trailing his hand over your backside. You preened under his touch, twisting to stretch out like a cat and smiling over at him softly. A grunt sounded from behind you. Rhys glanced over, sending an image to you.
Cassian and Azriel (the former having already removed half of his clothes), lip locked and tugging hard at each otherā€™s bodies. Heat pooled in between your thighs and you turned to raise a brow at your companion. He smirked. In a blink, he was hovering over your body, chest pressed against your left side. You tilted your head upwards, pressing your lips against his. He moved slowly, pressing you down as he swiped a tongue over your lips. Rhysā€™ palm moved to cup your arse, rubbing your clothed cunt against the bulge in his pants. You sighed as you melted into his touch.
A broken moan drew you away from your High Lord.
You turned your head, pupils blown wide with lust as Cassian manhandled Azriel, tugging at his short hair and biting the exposed skin of his neck. Rhys laid back, hauling you up to rest on top of him. He helped you straddle him.
Someone hit the wall behind you, choking on a groan. You grinned as Rhys pulled you into him, licking a stripe up your throat.
ā€œYouā€™re both fully capable of resolving your issues, hm? Isnā€™t that what you said the last time?ā€ You let out a long suffering sigh and gripped Rhysandā€™s hair.
ā€œDonā€™t be a dick.ā€
He trailed light fingers up your sides, the sensation dulled by the fabrics covering your skin. Teasing touches turned rough as you rolled your hips. You smiled sweetly.
Behind you, the bed dipped as your two lovers joined you.
Cassianā€™s rough hands gripped your hips, careful of the wings you now arched high. Azriel settled against the pillows next to Rhysand, watching you with half-lidded, dark eyes. You maintained eye contact with the shadowsinger, grabbing Cassianā€™s hand and slipping it into your loose fitted pants. He cupped your mound, urging you to grind against his palm. You did so, head falling back as the roughness of his skin dragged against your lips and clit. He let you use him, your chest heaving as you rode yourself to climax. Your legs shook, upheld only by Rhysā€™ hands.
Rhysand took to leaning forward and nipping at the skin of your sensitive neck. He grinned as you keened, cunt clenching onto nothing as you tumbled over the edge. You fell against Cassian as your blood rushed through your ears. He chuckled, ignoring the way you jolted when your wings made contact with his frame.
Your body trembled following your orgasm, blissfully warm but not entirely relaxed. Azriel grunted as Rhys cupped his bulge. Your eyes flashed to his, annoyance still eating at your gut.
ā€œCome on, pretty girl. Donā€™t be like that.ā€ Cassian mouthed at the juncture of your neck and shoulders, sucking hard. You moaned softly, writhing against him as he massaged your breasts.
ā€œLovely, isnā€™t she?ā€ Rhysandā€™s low voice sounded from beside Azriel. He huffed, abdomen muscles tense as the High Lord slipped a hand into his trousers. He pumped his cock, running a gentle hand over his slit and laughing when he hissed.
ā€œYou managed to piss her off pretty bad. Wonder what youā€™ll have to do to make it up.ā€ Heat rushed to Azrielā€™s face. You watched with rapt attention, eyelashes fluttering as Cassian stripped you of your top to expose your breasts. You shivered at the sudden chill.
ā€œWill she let you touch her?ā€
Azriel clenched his hands into fists, all but tucking them underneath his thighs. You giggled. Looks like he wanted to be tested tonight.
ā€œRhys.ā€ You purred.
He whipped his head towards you at the sound of your voice, his name dripping with lust. You wriggled your ass against Cassianā€™s dick and tugged on Rhysandā€™s shirt.
He was on you in an instant, mouth hot against yours as Cassian pulled down your trousers and underwear. He was quick to line himself up your cunt and slowly sink in, leaning forward to press kisses to your upper back as you moaned. Rhys swallowed the sounds all too willingly.
As Cassian bottomed out, Rhys tugged down his own pants, situating himself right by your mouth. You lowered yourself onto your elbows, a soft whine leaving you as the angle changed how deep Cassian was within you. Rhysand grabbed a handful of your hair and guided your mouth to his cock. He grunted when your lips wrapped around the reddening skin.
Cassian pulled half-way out of you, giving an experimental thrust. Your eyes fluttered shut. He was slow with it, setting a lazy pace to keep you from climaxing too soon. You shivered as one of his hands grazed the inner part of your wings. Molten heat burned between your hips.
With a practiced tongue and a few well timed sucks, Rhys was pulsing in your mouth, balls drawn tight. His head was thrown back, moans tumbling from his lips in a way that wouldā€™ve had you grinning. Cassian kept his sensual pace.
You hollowed out your cheeks, gagging as Rhysandā€™s cock hit the back of your throat. He choked on a moan, halfway through cooing at the tears on your cheeks when his orgasm tore through him. He shook; beside him, Azriel trembled with need.
You swallowed his cum greedily, humming. Rhys jerked. You pulled off of him with a pop, grinning like a madman.
ā€œWicked thing.ā€
You shrugged, arching your back to meet Cassianā€™s thrusts. One of his large hands splayed across the bottom of your curved spine, the other coming around your waist to toy with your clit. You spasmed against him.
A low chuckle sounded through the room.
ā€œBe careful tonight, weā€™ve all got a mission tomorrow.ā€ Even in the midst of your pleasure, your head jerked towards Azriel. He wore an expression half resigned, half lustful. You reached for him with one hand, balancing on your right, fingers trembling. A moment ticked by. He moved, graceful as a panther, and tugged you to him. Cassian groaned as you involuntarily clenched around him. He pulled out of you, letting you splay across the shadowsingerā€™s front.
ā€œYouā€™re really giving in?ā€
Azrielā€™s sigh was answer enough, but he responded with a simple, ā€œYes.ā€
You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his chin. The ache between your thighs was desperate for attention, however, so you moved to straddle his hips.
Much to the displeasure of your two other lovers, the words ā€œYouā€™re mine for the rest of the night,ā€ were what left your mouth. Azriel leaned back.
ā€œShow me you can handle it.ā€
+++
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beelmons Ā· 1 month ago
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Luxury Reading Nights | SR
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
cw: fingering, free use, don quixote lines
Summary: Spencer calls you to provide some of your now rather popular services.
A/N: i missed spencer and i love free use!!
The most amazing part of the lifestyle you had chosen to lead was always the vast variety of men's sexual desires.
Some enjoyed getting a little rough, some dressing you in questionable outfits, some even were as far as to use you to serve them, all previously established, all with consent.
It was the wonder of 'free use', you were, at the end of the day, nothing but a tool. That's what made it so exciting.
But with Spencer, oh, Spencer, he was surely an odd one.
"Stop moving, I can't read" he ordered, his voice firm, but he was still polite about it.
He had you bent over his lap while he sat on the couch, your body was stripped naked the second you had entered the apartment. Your back was used as a book rest as he read.
His hand was the reason you were squirming so uncomfortably. You had been overstimulated for the past five minutes or so, and he kept torturing you, over and over.
It started with a call. He had a rough case and needed to unwind, which he often did with a good book. Soon, you were on his lap, kissing his lips and feeling his clothed groin against your wetness, and that's when it turned torturous.
No, he wasn't rough. Au contraire, he was extremely gentle. Annoyingly so. He began to massage your buttocks once you were across his lap, not once touching you where you were aching to have him inside.
"Ooh, I love this line" he suddenly blurted out "Too much sanity may be madness ā€” and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be." tilting his head, he tried to catch a glimpse of your face, womdering if you were as impressed by it as he was.
Little time did he give you, because his thumb began to run over your slit. It was slow and careful, like a caress.
You moaned in complaint. You needed more, so much more.
"You look beautiful like that." he praised, and it only heightened your arousal.
He went back to his book and his thumb kept up its pace, and it wasn't only when he reached half the book that, without warning, slid one of his fingers inside of you, while his thumb part-timed on your clit.
"I always thought Cervantes was a bit insane himself," he began to explain his theory "Takes a madman to write a madman." and without any further word, continued the assault on your cunt.
You couldn't speak from how delightful it felt. Despite reading a complex book, he was definitely paying attention to every movement of his hand, every crease of your insides, he was trying to find the one spot.
Minutes later he was kind enough to add another finger, this knuckles curling inside of you. But he was still going slow and that's when you figured: he was using your pussy as a stress ball. Not to your enjoyment but his, nonethless this was even more arousing.
His pace began to quicken as he turned on the pages, and you could tell he was reaching the end of the book, and you were reaching your limit. But it was on your terms and conditions that you only came when he said a certain word.
"...are even now tottering..." he had begun to recite near your ear what you assumed was the end of the book, but you weren't paying attention at all. You wanted to hear it. The word you needed the most as his fingers sped up their insertion. "...doubtless, doomed to fall forever." he continued.
There was something enchanting and sweet about his voice, as if he were telling you a lullaby.
"Farewell." he finally said.
Like thunder through the sky, a long moan resonated as you came. Knowing what he had done, his free hand quickly removed the book from your back. Old edition, he was not going to risk it getting soaked in your juices the same way his hand now was.
He continued to thrust, helping you get rid of the wave. "You okay?" he asked concernedly, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your naked back. "Sorry, I really wanted to finish the book." he apologized as he removed his fingers from inside of you.
You were still panting and flushed from the overstimulation, but you gave him a gentle nod "Are you feeling better?" you asked. You had noticed his tension since you arrived but decided to keep it quiet.
"I'm on cloud nine." he simply said with a handsome, gentle grin.
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hamsterbellbelle Ā· 1 month ago
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Simple Columbarium Niche
DOWNLOAD - end of post
ā¬‡ļømulti-pics belowāš ļøā¬‡ļø
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ā¬†ļø2 types of niches: No portrait - Base Game || With portrait - Life & Death pack needed. Each type comes with two style: stone and marble. The marble ones have a more reflective texture.
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ā¬†ļøThis is how the portrait will look like for the Life & Death ones
šŸ¹the niches are all in simlish because (a) I don't know what names to put, (b) I don't want to accidentally naming anyone... šŸ¹The names are mostly (a) variations of the word "Hamster", (b) Hajsdhjsaiwhd << random typos, (c) variations of the names of the characters from Game of Thrones... šŸ¹The Epitaph (longer texts) on the niches are phrases from the song "Oh Danny Boy" and "Where Have All the Flowers Gone", or copies of the generated Epitaph from the game
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ā¬†ļøyou can have your sims take their own photo to be the portrait
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ā¬†ļøthere are blank ones available, also PSD files will be provided for inputting your own texts. Instruction and details further down this post.
HOW THIS WORKS:
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ā¬†ļøboth Base Game and L&D niches will start like this when clicked on. The "Assigned to" option will only appear if (1) someone a sim knows has passed away AND (2) a ghost sim cannot assign themselves
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ā¬†ļøif a sim or ghost sim doesn't know anyone who has passed, only this option will appear
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ā¬†ļøthe "Assigned To" option will lead to this window where you may assign the niche to anyone that your sims has met and is deceased. The deceased sim could be a playable or non-playable ghost.
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ā¬†ļøthe default epitaph is "R.I.P" for both Base Game and L&D niches.
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ā¬†ļøbefore assigning any epitaph, these are the available options for both Base Game and L&D niches.
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ā¬†ļøEngrave epitaph āš ļøany sim can manually engrave epitaph to any assigned niche.
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ā¬†ļønew epitaph will be shown.
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ā¬†ļønew options will also appear. NOTE: for the base game - no portrait niches: the red interactions will not appear. But if you have the Life & Death pack and downloaded the base game niches, the red interactions will appear.
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ā¬†ļøif you leave the epitaph blank then select "Read Epitaph", the epitaph will automatically becomes the object's description
āš ļøA FEW IMPORTANT NOTES:
once a niche is assigned to a sim, it cannot be un-assign. It can only be reassigned to another sim.
if a sim is deleted permanently through cheat, AND the niche that was originally assigned to them has no epitaph, then the default "R.I.P." epitaph will disappear . i.e. You cannot "Engrave Epitaph" to a deleted sim's niche, but you may reassign the niche to someone else.
on a Cemetery community lot, sims will autonomously do any of the funeral interactions with the niches and light candles. (I didn't add "light candles" to the interaction because I don't want candles to be lying around...)
āš ļøOTHER KNOWN ISSUES
for the base game - no portrait ones, sometimes a deceased sim cannot be assigned to the niche due to (a) they are currently in a situational event (b) has crossed over (c) reborn
on one occasion during early stage, a niche just gradually fade out and disappeared...I cannot recreate the situation nor did it ever happened again...
ā¬‡ļøDOWNLOADā¬‡ļø:
- polycount: basegame - 16 || Life & Death - 24~36 - Base Game - No Portrait || Life and Death packed needed - With Portrait - 20 swatches
āš ļøEach file have two versions: v.(1) Niches will show when wall are down i.e. hovering midair v.(2) Niches will not show when walls are down i.e. you will have to toggle walls up to access niches interaction
āš ļøIMPORTANT: ONLY DOWNLOAD ONE VERSION EACHāš ļø
i.e. you can have both no_portrait and with_portrait, but can only have either "show" or "not_show" each
Base Game = No Portrait [Ver.(1) - will show ] || [Ver.(2) - not show] Life & Death = With Portrait [Ver.(1) - will show ] || [Ver.(2) - not show]
[PSD files for custom niche text] ||
alt. DOWNLOAD 2
PSD FILE INSTRUCTION
šŸ¹You will need:
any app that can edit PSD files >> recommended app: GIMP or photopea.com
Sims 4 Studio ("Star" for Windows", "Aurora" for Macs)
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ā¬†ļøinput your text, and save images as PNG files, size 1024x1024px or 512x512px
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ā¬†ļøin Sims 4 Studio, go to the "Studio" tab and select "Add Swatch"
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ā¬†ļøafter selecting the newly added swatch, still under "Studio" tab, on the right select Texture > Diffuse and then import the new texture with your own text
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drewmeows Ā· 3 months ago
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i am once again thinking about cowboy/lumberjack/farmer/general blue collar worker logan and the sweet young thing that is his boss' daughter...
cw: explicit smut MDNI, unprotected piv, creampie, implied virginity loss, implied age gap, afab reader wears a dress, logan refers to her as 'princess' 'sweetheart', wrote this on my phone and did not edit it amen, if i missed any tags please lmk!
wc: 693 words
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"This is so- fuck- so wrong, sweetheart..." His guttural grunt made your eyes flutter shut and a shudder run down your spine and straight to your pussy, "Ruinin' ya like this, what would your daddy think, huh?"
You couldn't reply even if you wanted to, to try to convince Logan this only felt right, and who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Instead your mind was a puddle at your feet. Or it would be, but he had you hiked onto the wall of the barn, your legs wrapped around his waist.
Your sundress was pushed up and over your tits so his hands could roughly grope them when he had the chance.
You simply rested your sweaty forehead on his shoulder, clutching his arms tightly as he rutted up into you. "Lo- Logan!" A squeal wrought from your chest as he shifted slightly, pulling you down further on his cock as one of his hands abandoned your tit to rub tight circles on your swollen clit.
Just as you went to beg for more he hit the gummy spot inside you that had your vision spanned with black dots. Logan grinned at you, feeling how awfully close to the edge he'd brought you.
"Better princess? Tha' the spot that's gonna make my sweet girl come?" You could only marvel at how not out of breath he sounded, almost unaffected by your damn near literal roll in the hay that unless you didn't have his cock throbbing inside of you and feel how taut his muscles were, you'd think this was just another day for him.
You nodded and pulled your head back, a whine caught in your throat at the debauched look of his hair tousled and flannel pushed down his shoulders. You dipped in for a kiss and Logan pulled back, a mischievous look on his face, "What's that, sweetheart? Gotta use your- ngh- words."
"Fuck! Want a kiss, please, please-" You continue to beg, wanton moans and cries slipping from your lips before he finally captures your mouth with his.
It's wet and barely louder than the slick sounds of your cunt as he fucks up into you at that same breakneck speed. Before Logan even goes to break the kiss, your high hits.
A keening noise rises high in your throat, met by Logan's grunt as you gush around him. He reared back, desperate to see your orgasm contort your face with pleasure.
All through it, he continues to rut into you, keeping that oh so steady pace that had you whimpering with overstimulation. Your nails dug deep enough into his biceps to draw blood, the feeling causing his eyes to roll slightly.
"Keep doin' that n squeezing me like that, and I'm gonna cum, princess," He spoke it as if it was a threat but all you heard was salvation. You nodded and looked him right in the eyes.
With a hand moving up to grip the back of his head of hair, "Wan' you to fill me up, please, Lo? Please- I need it-" A soft gasp escaping your lips once more as tears filled your eyes, pain and pleasure mixing in all the overwhelming new feelings.
It seemed that was all the permission he needed, a hoarse groan your only warning before he buried himself deep and came inside your cunt, warming you from the inside out as heat burns your cheeks.
Logan pants against your shoulder, small and inconsequential murmurs of praise falling from his mouth as you struggle to gain the ability to breathe much less speak again.
Hours later when you've come back around to your senses while picking a splinter of wood from the barn out of your back, you'll look back on this moment and wonder why it took you so damn long to finally make a move on your father's worker.
Because as you slip down from his waist and let your dress fall down to your knees- which are weak as jelly, wavering underneath you- and Logan's arm slides around your waist with a reserved smile, propping you up against him, you swear you can feel yourself falling anyways.
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simpee9000 Ā· 4 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 8 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Words 2.6k
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
"It's been two weeks," you pointed out, telling yourself and him.
"That doesn't mean you have to be okay already," Katsuki huffed at you, crossing his arms as he leaned against the makeup table in front of you.
You were going on for the interview that you promised that night. Truth quirk and all. They were prepping you right now for it, covering the dark circles under your eyes as they made sure to add highlights.
"I go back to work tomorrow, I want everything to be dealt with before hand," you dismissed. You wanted your plate clean so you could throw yourself fully back into work, you were itching to use the equipment. "Besides, Aizawa is here. He'll make sure to turn off the truth quirk if needed."
He grumbled, watching you intently as you got up, makeup finished and TV ready. "I don't like this." He didn't want you to go back to step one, even if you claimed to be fine.
"I know," you patted his arm, he's been trying to convince you not to. But his PR manager advise you to do it, knowing if you switched up that the public would think the worst.
An assistant knocked on the door, peeking through when you told them it was okay. "You're on in five," and with that, they left.
You swallowed nervously. "It's not to late," Katsuki offered.
"I said I'd do it, so I will," you looked yourself over in the mirror one last time, brushing your clothes smooth before you walked to the door. Katsuki following behind as you waited behind the curtain, ready for your cue. You made eye contact with Aizawa who was on the other side, next to the interviewer with a truth quirk. You gave a small wave and gained a nod back.
"Remember that you can dodge the question, it's not considered lying," Katsuki informed you for the millionth time, going down his prep list, "I studied them, they make you say the truth but not blurt it, so you have time to form your words."
"And now we have Dynamight's girlfriend," the talk show host called your name, greeting you on stage. "She'll be giving us all the details of her juicy relationship with our number two hero! All under a truth quirk." You walked onto the stage, giving Katsuki a nervous smile before turning to wave at the crowd.
It wasn't your first interview but it was the first major one. A huge live audience that filled the room. You shook hands with Gossip, the hostess nickname for the public. Shaking hands with the truth quirk interviewer as well before sitting down. Aizawa stayed off stage, ready to cancel things if needed.
"Nell, here," Gossip called attention to the truth quirk, "Known as 'Spills' will activate her quirk and ask questions about her secret relationship with Dynamight." Nell waved at her introduction, smiling brightly. "We've opened questions to the audience as well, so let's get started," Gossip grabbed a stack of cards from her desk, nodding to Nell to start.
You crossed your legs, hands clasped in your lap as you waited for the effect.
Gossip handed Nell the cards to read out. "You were the one on the phone with Dynamight two weeks ago, correct?"
"Yes, called me while I was making dinner," you laughed trying to add anything you could to the questions because you wanted good press.
"How long have you been dating?"
"Three years," you answered easily, feeling the small buzz of the truth quirk in your mind, "Since second year of high school, even though I liked him way before that." Well, you haven't meant to say that, the truth quirk making the small bit of information slip out.
Gossip grinned at what you were saying. "And you've never liked Deku? No romantic feelings there?"
"He's like my younger brother, absolutely no feelings there," you confirmed.
"You don't even find him attractive?"
"I do, just not like that. I only have eyes for Katsuki really," you didn't even know why you were anxious at this point. Part of you was worried it'd make you slip up, say something in the wrong way and make it seem like you wanted him.
"How cute!" Gossip gushed to the crowd. "Well now that we have that settled, lets get to the nitty gritty." You paled at that.
Opening your mouth the protest before Nell interrupted you, "What about Dynamight annoys you the most?"
You rolled your eyes, "He leaves his socks everywhere. Literally only his socks, everything else he is a neat freak about."
"Anything else?" they pushed for something more.
"He literally argues with himself while getting ready, calling his teeth stupid for getting dirty," you ranted, glad you had no real issue with him.
Nell and Gossip shared a look, unsure of where to go. "What do you love most about him?" the decided to switch from negatives to positives, trying to feed his fan base.
"Oh," you paused, mind swirling with too many truths, "He remembers all the small things," you settled on, talking fondly, "He bought an extra chair for his office because he knew I hated the ones he had. He might not talk a lot but he does so much."
The crowd swooned at how fondly you talked of him.
"Why are you with him?"
"Cause I love him?" you questioned back confused, paleing when you realized you haven't directly said it yet. You've been together for three years and knew you loved each other, it was just hardly, if ever, spoken.
"How about we open questions to the fans?" Gossip turned from you and pointed at someone who raised their hand.
"What's Dynamight's biggest weakness?" the crowd called out, Nell immediately asking you the question.
You froze, Aizawa was being distracted and couldn't save you. You faintly heard Katsuki's loud foot steps coming up, trying to save you.
"He loves his back being popped," you answered, truthfully, the interviews losing the spark in their eye as you didn't give good enough gossip. "Seriously, he loves it. Practically melts afterwards."
Katsuki stood next to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to stand. "This shit is done."
"Dynamight," Nell called out as Katsuki dragged you away. The truth quirk likely making him stop. "Do you seriously love her?" She spit those words out in a manner that reminded you of the break in.
"Yeah, so fuck off," he barked over his shoulder, pulling you off stage.
---
In just the drive home, your phone was blowing up entirely. You were trending on Twitter, Tiktok, and any social media already. All they needed was an hour. You scrolled through TikTok as you curled in on the couch, swiping from one video of you to another video of you. People were gushing over your relationship, loving how he protected you and how you talked about him.
It turned the fan girls more on your side, having gotten a glimpse of your life with him. They concluded that you were one of them. You even saw videos of how you cheered him on during the first-year sports festival. They took any social media post with the two of you and over-analyzed it. Talking about how you looked at each other.
"Still looking at that shit?" Katsuki called from the kitchen. Currently packing up the leftovers of dinner.
"It's cute," you defended, "They found a photo of us during graduation," you lifted your phone over the couch for him to look, hearing him shuffle over to look.
It was a photo of you two hugging after the ceremony, probably seconds after he asked you to move in with you. "This is horrible for my image," he complained as he saw the caption, "Makes me look fuckin' soft."
You rolled your eyes, looking up at him from where he leaned over the couch, "You are soft."
He scoffed, "Sure."
Humming, you got up from the couch, moving to head to your room, wanting to grab a book from a box. You hardly unpacked, your room still empty as you've been spending the past few nights in Katsuki's room.
"Hey Kats," you called from your doorway, seeing more boxes in your room than before. Probably and entire third of boxes that you didn't put there, you were at work all day, busy with meetings while Katsuki got home early.
"What?" he asked when he met you in your doorway, looking over your room.
You stepped in, glancing into an open box and seeing Katsuki's stuff filling it. "What's all this?"
"Figured with you sleepin' in my room all the time we might as well share," he crossed his arms as he shrugged, leaning into the doorframe.
"Really?" you looked up at him, taking your eyes of the open box, lighting up inside as you looked at him.
"Why not?"
You've been waiting for this since he first asked you to move, but you knew that if you freaked out he would back out. You bit back a huge smile, joy seeping through your expression regardless. "Want to set things up then?" you offered, answering his unasked question of it was okay.
He didn't give an answer before he moved in the room fully, grabbing a box of his clothes and going into the walk in closet. You stepped out of your room, seeing how his old room was empty minus a bed. Smiling, you moved back into your room, grabbing another box of his clothes and placing it beside him before grabbing your own clothes and finally unpacking. You took two of the walls of the closet, him taking the last wall, having less clothes.
Cycling through each box until they were all unpacked, your room looking like a mixture of the two of you. His comforter but your sheets on the bed, pillows stacked the way you loved and his limited edition All Might alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. The dresser being spilt for the two of you with small touches of each of you adding to the room. Giving it personality.
It made you giddy, to see everything done up as a combined. You let a bright smile grace your features as you changed for bed, Katsuki showering in the connected bathroom while you slid under the covers. You grabbed a book from your nightstand and flipped to the bookmark.
Reading through the rest of the chapter before Katsuki came out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair under a towel as he walked in. Hanging the towel up and shaking his head like a wet dog to fluff it back up. He stayed shirtless, how he's been sleeping the past few nights, and only wore his boxers.
You eyed him over your book, watching his arms flex with any simple motion he made. Eyeing him as he walked to his side of the bed, slipping under the covers fully before wrapping his arms around your waist.
The motion was surprising, filling your stomach with butterflies as you accepted his hug. You were propped up on pillows, making it easier to read with the posture, his arm slipped easily under you, his other going under your book. He squeezed light, wearily of the wound that was still present on your left side.
"Your shower is so much better than the one in the hall," he grumbled, digging his face into your shoulder. His shampoo scenting the air as you leaned your head onto his.
"Our shower," you couldn't help but correct him.
"Do we want the old room to be your office? The other mine?" he questioned.
You closed your book, setting it on the nightstand as you held onto his arm. "Maybe one can be a guest room? Your mom called and said she wants to visit," you suggested.
"That hag been callin' you often?"
You slapped his arm for how he addressed his mom, "She's worried."
"Hm," he dismissed, "I don't care."
"The interview wasn't that bad," you changed topics, "Just made me say softer versions of the truth."
He took his head off you, moving to sit up so he could look at you, "They asked you about my weakness? Do you know how bad that coulda been?"
"But it wasn't, I did what I said and nothing bad happened," you matched his glare.
He rolled his eyes, falling back onto you.
"I surprised how cuddly you are," you said, not to tease but point out.
"Fuck off," he scoffed, moving to flip away from you. You hooked your arms over his shoulders, trying to pull him back but just got flipped back over with him, letting out a squeal of surprised. Situated right on his lap, close to his face. His hands held your thighs as you straddled him unintentionally. "'m not cuddly," he pinched your thigh.
"Sure," you teased now, "That's why you've been all over me."
"I can finally touch you, think I'm not going to take advantage of it?"
You pulled back, sitting up right on his lap as you looked down at him. Brows furrowed, "Is your watch always on?"
He shrugged, "Not always, but most of the time, 'round you."
Your stomach dropped, you moved to grab his hand and saw that it was on. Turning his quirk off. "You can't use it that often," you told him, worried.
"I turn it off before I sleep," he brushed off, moving his hand away from yours.
"When was the last time it was off around me?"
"When I was asleep last night," he answered easily.
"Katsuki," you frowned, "That's not good for you, you need to turn it off." You reached for his hand again.
He snatched it out of your hand, "The fuck's your problem?"
"I don't want every time you touch me you need that stupid watch on," you complained. It made you feel disconnected from him, like he had to hide his true self.
"It's not on all the fuckin' time," he argued.
"Then you should have no problem turning it off right now," you challenged. His face was all scrunched in distaste as he looked at you.
"I don't have shit to prove."
"You're using it as a crutch," you dug, "I shoulda never built it for you."
"So you would of prefered staying how it was? Don't want me to touch you?" he argued, getting frustrated that you were upset. Defaulting into anger.
"I'd prefer you," you clarified, "The actual you that doesn't need to suppress his fucking quirk."
"I don't need anything," he hissed, "I was doing it to make you fuckin' happy but now you're all bitchy about nothing."
You widdened your eyes, pushing yourself off his lap finally and moving to your side of the bed. "You'll kill yourself," you commented, "Not having access to your quirk is deadly."
"No I won't," he huffed, not moving from where he laided.
"You're right, cause you can turn it off," you decided, "I'm not going to touch you until I know it's off."
He sat up right, "Really?" he looked down at you.
"Yep," you popped the 'p', "I only made the watch for work training, not sex training like how you're using it."
"That's ridiculous," he tried to reason.
"Well, I'm going to be 'bitchy' about something that'll kill you," you crossed your arms, standing your ground.
He shifted, "So we're going back to square one? That what you fuckin' want?"
"Sure," your chest felt tight, hating how frustrated he was. But your side made sense. "I want you alive."
"I'm not going to die."
"Yep, cause I'm not encouraging you to turn it off anymore."
"Can't kiss you or anything then," he tried to threaten, failing to change your mind.
"Okay," you shrugged. Internally mourning the loss of it already.
"Seriously?" he was in disbelief.
"Goodnight Katsuki," you turned onto your side, making him unable to look at you anymore.
When he huffed and turned away you were worried he'd leave. Go back on sharing a room. Truly test how far you were willing to go.
But all he did was adjust onto his side of the bed, angrily turning his lamp off, darkness coating the room.
At least you had that, but who knows how long you would. You clutched at your chest as you sunk in on yourself. It would suck to go back to how it was two months ago. Not being able to kiss him, or hug him freely.
You've gotten so far and had to throw it away. But it was necessary. The nitroglycerin made his heart run slowly, he needed to have his quirk flowing or you didn't know what would happen. You weren't trying to risk it so you could feel him up.
---
-Next Part-
In them m.list of this fic comment if you want to be added into a tag list <3
I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
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lovebugism Ā· 10 months ago
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could I request maybe shy!reader trying to play dnd with eddie but she's suuuuuuper nervous and confused and internally panicking about him not liking her anymore if she can't get into it?? Or if you wanna change it up please do!! love you!!
love you! hope you like it! ā€” you get insecure about not liking d&d when a girl joins hellfire (shy!fem!r, hurt/comfort ish, established relationship, 1.4k)
The Hellfire room is void of the boyish bodies that usually fill it. The abandoned classroom, turned freak sanctuary, is now littered with pieces the rogues, clerics, and bards left behind ā€” in half-empty soda cans and crumbled-up bags of potato chips.
While Eddie packs up his binder, filled to the brim with miscellaneous papers, you wander around the long table with a trashcan in hand. The wild-haired boy squints when you chuck Dustinā€™s crushed Pepsi in the bin. ā€œYou donā€™t have to do that, you know?ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay,ā€ you shrug. ā€œI donā€™t mind.ā€
Eddie huffs through his nose, feeling too exhausted now to argue. He slides his binder into his bag and watches you rake Garethā€™s chip crumbs into the trashcan. The urge to stop you becomes unignorable then.Ā 
ā€œOkay, well, you know what? I mindā€”ā€ the boy retorts, striding the very short distance to you and snatching the bin from your grip. He smiles a crooked grin and continues in a fantastical accent. ā€œā€”ā€˜Cause the Dungeon Masterā€™s queen shouldnā€™t have to clean up after a bunch of lowborns, alright?ā€
You roll your eyes with a subdued giggle. ā€œSomeoneā€™s gotta do it, Eds,ā€ you insist as you reach for the plastic container he took. You exhale sharply when he hides it further behind him, pulling it further out of your way. ā€œI wanna be of some use around here!ā€
Eddieā€™s face twists. ā€œDonā€™t say that.ā€
You cower beneath his stare. ā€œWellā€¦ Itā€™s not like I actually play or anything. I just kindaā€¦ sit aroundā€¦ And watch you guys do everythingā€¦ā€
ā€œWell, why would you play?ā€ he laughs. ā€œYou donā€™t even like D&D.ā€
Something in the way he says it makes you ache. Youā€™ve always felt distantly horrible about it ā€” failing to take interest in something he holds so close to his heart. Hearing him reiterate that fact twists the knife lodged in your chest.
ā€œThat doesnā€™t bother you?ā€ you wonder, impossibly shy. ā€œThat I donā€™t play?ā€
Eddie shrugs and sits the bin down again. ā€œWhy would that bother me?ā€ he scoffs.
ā€œI donā€™t knowā€¦ ā€˜Cause you like it. And itā€™s your favorite thing to do in the whole world.ā€
ā€œWellā€¦ Maybe not my favorite thing,ā€ he croons with a mischievous glint in his eye.
Your nose scrunches in disdain. His laughter fills the empty room as his ringed hands spread warm along your sides. ā€œI just feel bad,ā€ you confess, gaze averted to the scuffed tile beneath your feet. ā€œYou know, that I canā€™t get into or whatever.ā€
Eddie meets your subtle pout with an unbothered grin. ā€œThereā€™s nothing to feel bad about. People like different things, babe. Thatā€™s life,ā€ he assures you, squeezing softly at your sides. ā€œI mean, itā€™s no different than me hating The Smiths, right? I still let you play their cassettes in the van, and you still sit in on all my campaignsā€” and that, sweetheart, is the meaning of true loveā€¦ā€
Unswayed, you jerk softly back when he leans down to kiss you. You frown up at him with your arms crossed between your bodies. ā€œBut Rory loves D&D. And sheā€™s super prettyā€¦ā€
Aurora Edwards was the newest edition to the Hellfire gang. She goes by Rory for short, though, ā€˜cause sheā€™s cool like that and everything. Her dyed blonde hair is as wild as Eddieā€™s, cut into a makeshift mullet that sits sort of shaggy on her head ā€” intentionally messy in a way only she can pull off.Ā 
She likes cool music and cool clothes and cool hobbies ā€” because everything she does seems to have some sort of subverted flair to it. Sheā€™s smart and sheā€™s nerdy and sheā€™s beautiful. None of which seem fair. Youā€™ve been stirring with feelings of inadequacy since you met her.Ā 
And Eddie doesnā€™t seem to get any of it. His brows furrow at your words, like none of them have any sort of meaning to him.
ā€œSheā€™s way more your type than I am,ā€ you blurt.
A laugh sputters from his plush mouth. ā€œYou think my love for you is contingent on some stupid game?ā€ he chuckles.
The way he says it makes you shrink. You feel sort of stupid about it now. ā€œI donā€™t knowā€¦ā€
ā€œWell, then, I have done a very shit job of being your boyfriend.ā€
Your chest stings. ā€œNo, you havenā€™t, Eddieā€”ā€
ā€œMm,ā€ he hums, half playful, as he tilts his pretty head to his shoulder. ā€œI have, though. ā€˜Cause if you think some other girl liking Dungeons and Dragons is gonna make me love you any less, then I have done something horribly, horribly wrong.ā€
You bite back a smile at his words, pursing your lips to the side of your mouth until the beam becomes impossible to ignore.
ā€œā€˜Cause youā€™re kinda stuck with me, turns out,ā€ the boy continues. ā€œUnfortunately for you.ā€
ā€œUnfortunately?ā€ you echo with a scoff.
ā€œYeah. ā€˜Cause if some other schmuck comes around who likes listening to The Smiths and sitting in the sunshine, heā€™s gonna have to go through me.ā€
You breathe sharply through your nose in place of a laugh. ā€œI donā€™t want another guy, Edsā€¦ā€ you confess, going shy all over again.
His nose scrunches as he plays coy. ā€œEven if he doesnā€™t smoke?ā€ he wonders in a sheepish murmur.
ā€œEven if he doesnā€™t smoke.ā€
ā€œGood,ā€ he beams, pulling you into him by your belt loops. His breath fans over your jaw in a minty-nicotine concoction as he ducks his face closer to yours. ā€œā€˜Cause I donā€™t want anyone else, either, alright? Even if they are almost as good as me at D&Dā€¦ Actually, itā€™s kinda a turn-off, now that Iā€™m thinking about itā€¦ā€
ā€œIs it?ā€
ā€œYeahā€¦ ā€˜Cause, like, I love teaching you about it and everything.ā€
ā€œEven when I have no idea what youā€™re talking about?ā€
ā€œEspecially when you have no idea what Iā€™m talking about,ā€ he laughs, smiling so hard his cheeks speckle pink. ā€œā€˜Cause you know how much I like it, soā€¦ You let me talk all the shit I want.ā€
ā€œā€™S just because youā€™re so pretty when you talk about things you like,ā€ you confess.
His face twists. ā€œAm I?ā€
ā€œWell, youā€™re pretty all the time, butā€¦ā€
ā€œYou flatter me,ā€ he huffs and pulls you closer. He smirks and goes quieter when he says, ā€œAnd flattery goes a long way with me.ā€
ā€œDoes it?ā€ you hum with a sunshine-coated giggle.
Eddie doesnā€™t answer you with words. He just presses his lips to your mouth and hopes you get the gist. His tongue swipes against yours, soft and sudden, as he guides you towards the table. You run into a rogue chair before he can get you on top of it. It screeches against the linoleum tile.Ā 
With his face in your hands, you giggle against his mouth. His denim-clad knee slips between your thighs.
The door squeaks softly open then. Rory enters, swift and unthinking. You and Eddie pull apart ā€” one looking much more horrified than the other ā€” as the blonde girl stands frozen in the doorway. Drowning in her sweatshirt and baggy jeans, she points a lanky finger towards the table.
ā€œSorry,ā€ she apologizes, voice gritty and deep. ā€œI just left my girlfriendā€™s jacket here, and she doesnā€™t know I stole it, soā€¦ Sheā€™d definitely kill me if I forgot it.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s okay. Come in,ā€ Eddie shrugs with a tightlipped smile, nodding his head in a silent invitation. When Rory plucks the coat from the back of her chair, he says, ā€œTell Jess I said hi, yeah?ā€
The girl scoffs as she heads back towards the door again, leaving just as quickly as she came. ā€œShe still hates you, you know that, right?ā€ she laughs. ā€˜Cause Jess was a cheerleader ā€” pretty and sometimes kind, but dreadfully conservative. Her uptight nature often clashed with Eddieā€™s much more chaotic one.Ā 
ā€œWell, tell her to get in line,ā€ Eddie chuckles.
Before Rory leaves the room, she glances at the two of you over her shoulder. She winks with an eye smudged with black liner. ā€œHave fun, you two,ā€ she croons in a pretty voice before shutting the door behind her.
You stand, still and silent in place, wringing your anxious hands into a knot. Feeling like a total idiot, you refuse to meet Eddieā€™s gaze. You know heā€™s got a smug look on his face. You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, ā€œSee? Not my type at all.ā€
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mxltifxnd0m Ā· 3 months ago
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pull it to the side ā„ s. winchester
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summary: sam wants to try something out.
pairings: sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem reader, [can be read as gn afab! reader]
word count: 1.3K
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warnings: MINORS DNI, hint of dom/sub dynamics, oral fem! receiving, biting, slight choking, smug sam, porn w/out plot, no use of y/n, kinda edited
a/n: uhh hi guys this came out of nowhere but it was sparked because of guess by charlie xcx and billie so yeah here it is loll [also the title is a lyric from the song]
anyways enjoy! please like, comment, and reblog!! your feedback fuels me loll!
š˜“š˜¢š˜® š˜øš˜Ŗš˜Æš˜¤š˜©š˜¦š˜“š˜µš˜¦š˜³ š˜®š˜¢š˜“š˜µš˜¦š˜³š˜­š˜Ŗš˜“š˜µ
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You and Sam all but stumbled into the room, lips attached to one other as you guys hastily pawed at each other, eager to get rid of the troublesome clothes on your bodies. Through the haze of lust, you could tell that you were being pushed back, and you had landed on the edge of the bed. Your lips had finally separated from Samā€™s for the first time since you entered the room.Ā 
Your naked chest heaved as you tried to catch your breath underneath Samā€™s hungry gaze. You were already so fucked out, and Sam hadnā€™t done anything but overwhelm you with his kisses and insistent hands. You were stripped naked, barring your underwear, which had yet to be taken off and practically soaked through with your arousal, making the soft white color of the panties almost translucent.Ā 
Samā€™s large form loomed over you, making you lean back until your bare back hit the sheets of the bed. Samā€™s lips were pulled into a salacious smirk as he hovered over you, his hips slotting in between your open legs. You let out a soft moan as you felt the rough denim of his jeans rut against your clothed core.Ā 
You saw Samā€™s lips twitch up further before planting soft, teasing kisses across your jaw and cheek before capturing your lips between his. His tongue breached your mouth instantly, swiping his tongue against yours and making your brain go haywire as his warm hands roamed over your thighs and hips until one of them made it to one of your breasts and started to knead it. A keening whine left your mouth as he pinched the hardened nub in between his fingers.Ā 
A low chuckle rumbled in Samā€™s chest. ā€œGod, I love your noises.ā€ He mumbled against your lips before biting the bottom one gently.Ā 
His lips left yours, and he skimmed his lips down your jaw with a feather-light touch as he kissed and nipped at your neck. Sam filled your senses as you felt his mouth trail lower and lower, kissing and biting anywhere he could. You knew you would be covered in small bruises and bite marks by the time Sam was done with you, but you couldnā€™t give a single shit about it at the moment as you felt his breath ghost against your lower belly as he sunk in between your open legs.Ā 
ā€œFuck.ā€ Sam breathed out when he saw the state of your underwear. ā€œYouā€™re soaking, arenā€™t you sweetheart?ā€ You could hear the satisfaction in his voice as he left sloppy kisses on your inner thighs.Ā 
One of your hands made its way into his hair, brushing the hair away from his forehead while the other gripped the sheets next to you tightly. When you met his eyes, the hazel in them was non-existent as they were overtaken by the lust that had taken over any rational he had.Ā 
ā€œSā€™all for you.ā€ You managed to rasp out.Ā 
ā€œAll for me?ā€ The smirk that was on his face could have rivaled the devilā€™s as he sucked a mark into your plush inner thigh. Sam all but shoved his face into your crotch; you felt him take a deep inhale of your clothed cunt and let out a groan. ā€œYou smell so good.ā€
A soft whimper left your lips as his lips kissed your covered mound through your underwear. Sam started to lap at your cunt through the soaked material, making it even wetter.Ā 
ā€œFuck.ā€ He said with a grunt. ā€œYouā€™re so wet. I can taste you through your underwear.ā€ Sam went from licking to kissing at your clit.Ā 
You could feel how your underwear was stuck to your cunt like a second skin. Low moans and whines left your parted lips as Sam mouthed at your cunt, licking and kissing at it with your soaked panties acting as the only barrier between your dripping core and his mouth.Ā 
One of Samā€™s hands left your thigh to pull the material of your underwear taut against you, making a small yelp escape your mouth at the new sensation.Ā 
Sam pulled away for a moment. ā€œBet if I could make you cum just like this.ā€ He said to himself, tugging the underwear tighter against you. Ā 
You tugged at the strands on top of his head, making Sam look up at your shaking head. ā€œTake them off.ā€ You pouted at him.Ā 
You moved the hand that wasnā€™t in Samā€™s hair off of the bed and to the waistband of your underwear. Sam acted quickly and used his free hand to grab your wrist and pin it back down on the bed.Ā 
Sam moved from his spot between your legs to hover over you, your hand falling from his hair as he shook his head and looked at you with a stern glare.
He clicked his tongue at you. ā€œYouā€™re not in charge tonight.ā€Ā 
You couldnā€™t help the scowl that formed on your face. Before you could even blink, both of your wrists were pinned above your head in one of Samā€™s hands on the headboard while the other wrapped around the base of your neck loosely.Ā 
ā€œYou wanna act like a brat tonight? Because Iā€™ll treat you like one.ā€ Samā€™s nostrils flared as he leaned closer to you, his nose brushing against yours, and you held his fiery gaze.Ā 
You shook your head at him. ā€œWanna be your good girl.ā€Ā 
ā€œThen youā€™ll take what I give you.ā€ The hand that was at the base of your neck moved up to wrap around your neck, but he didnā€™t put any pressure on it. A small whimper left your lips at the feeling of Samā€™s big hand around your throat.Ā 
Sam sent you a dark smirk before kissing you fast and hard. ā€œKeep them there.ā€ He squeezed your wrists before slinking down your body until he was face-to-face with your covered cunt again. He pulled your underwear hard against you and wasted no time trying to get you to cum.Ā 
You wished you could feel his talented tongue against your bare cunt, but pleasure still surged through you as you felt him press his tongue hard against you and focused on your clothed clit. Sam managed to suck at it through the fabric, making you buck against his mouth. You could feel the familiar heat brew in your lower belly as Sam continued his ministrations. You were writhing on the bed, trying to keep your hands against the headboard as you tried to grind against Samā€™s face.Ā 
Sam threw an arm around your hips, keeping you in place as he ate you out like a man starved. Loud moans erupted from the back of your throat as you felt yourself coming closer and closer to the edge.Ā 
Sam could tell you were getting close. ā€œYou gonna cum, pretty girl?ā€Ā 
ā€œYes!ā€ You gasped.ā€ Pl-please let me cum.ā€ You all but whined out, tears welling up in your eyes. You were so worked up, and all you wanted was for Sam to let you cum and finally fuck you.Ā 
Sam chuckled against you, the vibrations making the warmth in your core even hotter. ā€œGonna make you cum.ā€ He doubled down, wanting to make you cum as soon as possible.Ā 
You were covered in a sheen of sweat as you felt the band in your core become tighter and tighter. Sam took your clit and sucked on it hard, biting it lightly, and the band snapped. Your mouth was open in a silent moan as pleasure racked through your body. Sam mouthed at your soaked-through underwear as you came down, shiny with his spit and your cum.Ā 
Sam planted soft kisses up your body and pressed a chaste kiss against your lips when you finally calmed down. You let out a low moan as you tasted yourself against his slick-covered lips. You didnā€™t realize that your eyes had closed until they fluttered open to see Samā€™s satisfied smile.Ā 
ā€œTold you I could make cum with them on.ā€Ā 
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ultimateloserboy Ā· 5 months ago
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Bill Cipher Analysis Post ā€¼ļø
(I could be wrong about some things since the book is fresh, feel free to expand this post or correct me! May be a little edited as well!)
To start things off: William Mischief Cipher, (yes thats his actual name) is a dream demon from another dimension. To be specific, the second dimension.
Despite Bill being a literal shapeā€” and also a demigodā€” itā€™s implied that Bill had a human-like childhood. He had a normal mother and father, he went to school, and overall seemed to have a normal life. The problem, however, was that he was born with powers completely unknown to his dimension.
Bills world was 2D, meaning there was no up or down. Itā€™s hard for us to grasp the concept of his world, and its implied Bills dimension felt the same way about us. They couldnā€™t grasp the idea of other, less flat dimensionsā€” but Bill could. Not only did he understand the concept, he could physically SEE the other dimensionsā€” which drove him crazy with confusion and frustration.
Itā€™s also implied that Bill was born with physical powers others in his dimension didnā€™t haveā€” for example, thereā€™s a line in the book where he remembers being bullied in school for having the ability to conjure fire.
Itā€™s implied that Bill tried to tell everyone about the other dimensions, but they didnā€™t understand. The other people of his homeworld considered him troubled and insane. Thereā€™s a poem written in code on the silly straw page of his book detailing how he was fed medicine to keep his ā€œvisionsā€ away, but would only drink it out of a silly straw. This poem implies he was a baby at the time of taking his medicine, implying further that his powers were terrifyingly strong even from an early age. Thisā€” paired with the fact he could shoot fire from his fuckin handsā€” made him dangerous as a child, because (at least from what it seems) any childish outburst or tantrum could accidentally turn dangerous from his lack of understanding or being able to control the powers he was born with. He was a walking time bomb.
ā€œEye doctor of a different kind who wants to make his patient blind / The doctor says three sips a day will make the visions go away / Fussy eater, baby billy, wouldnā€™t drink unless its silly.ā€
(((The doctor was taking away Bills ability to see the other dimensions, rendering him somewhat blind. Bill fussed about his medicine as a child and would only drink it out of a silly straw.)))
Eventually, Bill tried to bring his world into the third dimensionā€” or at the very least, show them it exists to prove that he wasnā€™t insane. Itā€™s unclear what exactly he did to try and accomplish thisā€” but it went wrong and started a terrible fire that left only him alive.
Itā€™s unclear whether or not he started the fire itself on purpose or on accident, but either way its implied that he absolutely didnā€™t understand the permanent consequences. Itā€™s something that deeply traumatized him. Itā€™s blurred out of his memory, and in denial, he pretends everyone is still alive. Itā€™s up to the reader to determine whether or not he can be forgiven for this, but out of everything Bill has done on purpose and out of malice, this doesnā€™t seem to be one of those things. It seems he genuinely wanted to free his family from the confinements of his dimension and to this day he still pretends thatā€™s what he did, even if thatā€™s not the case. The regret of his actions is something that goes on to shape his character today.
ā€œTwisted out of shape after the killā€” the ghost of his family haunting him stillā€ (((Silly straw page)))
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Bill has lied about this day on multiple occasions, and has also lied about how he feels towards it. Heā€™s terrified to face the guiltā€” so he either pretends he did it on purpose and doesnā€™t care, pretends something or someone else did it, or pretends it didnā€™t happen all together.
While talking to Stanford, he calls himself a monster. This is what he truly thinks of himself. However, he pretends to be a different person than himself. His entire life past the day of his dimensions burning has been a lie of pure denial.
On top of denial, he refused and still refuses to grow up. After running off into a crumbling dimension with his ā€œhenchmaniacā€ friends, he started acting like a rebellious teenager. Unlike most villains with a specific intent to hurt, he went throughout the universe with the sole intention of having as much fun as possible. However, with his terrifying power and uncaring nature many casualties happened on the side. Heā€™s guilty for them, and even finds some of them funny, but hurting people wasnā€™t and isnā€™t his MAIN intent. (At least not most of the time. He IS known to hold grudges, or dismantle someoneā€™s face for fun, but those things arenā€™t part of his overall goal. Not saying they arenā€™t shitty, but his main intent is important to understanding his character and complexity.)
His main goal is to distract himself from his past with as much chaos as possible while also seeking attention from anyone he can get it from. He talks about Stanford and says he needs Bill to boost his ego, but really itā€™s the other way around. Bill considers himself a product to sell, he caters to people by using false charisma, pretending theyā€™re the ones that need him when in reality heā€™s starving for their praise. He is desperate for someone to speak highly of him because his mind has nothing good to say, all the words he says out loud are compensation. He believes deep down that nobody will love him if they know who he truly is and what heā€™s doneā€” and heā€™s not really wrong. And look! He couldnā€™t even admit thatā€™s how he feels about himself so he pretends heā€™s giving advice! (He does this SO MANY fuckin times in the book..)
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It appears in the book that the more he regrets or suffers from his past actions and traumasā€” the more he hurts and destroys the things and people around him as a distractionā€” all under the ruse of ā€œpartyingā€. So, in an immature attempt to absolve himself of guilt, he stacks more guilt onto his endless cycle by continuing to hurt those he loves again and againā€” pretending not to care but truthfully caring so much that heā€™d do ANYTHING to drown out the feeling. Ironically, his way of drowning out his feelings is by causing more harm. He is an endless, pitiful paradox.
Itā€™s often misunderstood that he is a uncaring, but thatā€™s what he WANTS you to think. Thatā€™s what he WISHES he was. His guilt and remorse doesnā€™t absolve him from the things heā€™s done, but the fact that itā€™s there is a GIANT and IMPORTANT part of his character. He CAN feel empathy, sympathy, sentimentality, and ESPECIALLY regret. He may be a considered a sociopath, but this doesnā€™t mean heā€™s not a person with feelings as well.
Heā€™s so distraught over losing Stanford that he drinks himself into a state of temporary amnesia that made him fall into a ptsd episodeā€” his memory is so bad he ends up thinking heā€™s talking to his mother whoā€™s been dead for probably millions of years.
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This doesnā€™t excuse what he did to Ford AT ALL (I felt a little sick looking at the knuckles page..) but you canā€™t truly understand his character without understanding that he is LYING when he is cruel to Ford. And no, just because itā€™s a lie/front doesnā€™t mean heā€™s absolved from saying or doing something horrible, but it DOES mean he is unique and complex.
Itā€™s perfectly reasonable to not forgive Bill for what he did to Ford, because itā€™s not really forgivableā€” but I also think itā€™s fair to explore the complexities of ā€œevilā€ characters. SAYING A CHARACTER REGRETS THEIR ACTIONS DOESNā€™T MEAN I THINK THEY DESERVE FORGIVENESS!!! Especially in Billā€™s case, considering that he PRETENDS to not be sorry, which makes him terrible even if he doesnā€™t mean what heā€™s saying. He might as well not be sorry at all HOWEVER!! Itā€™s still important to distinguish him from a sociopathic stereotypeā€” so I have to acknowledge that heā€™s a little sorry anyway, even if that regret is hidden away and doesnā€™t help literally anyone.
He values his own comfortability over the people he loves. Meaning heā€™ll always be cruel instead of apologizing because even if heā€™s truly sorry, he canā€™t handle the fact that he did something wrong in the first placeā€” Heā€™ll just play dumb.
At the end of the day, thoughā€” Bill is much more complicated than ā€œGuy that just wants to explode people with his mind and take over the worldā€ā€” I mean yes, heā€™s also thatā€” but he also has hella bad ptsd and possible other mental issues that Iā€™m not qualified to diagnose. He has a mother who he misses and a pain he carries with him.
None of the pain he harbors will ever justify the pain heā€™s causedā€” So no, I donā€™t think heā€™s ACTUALLY forgivable (though I may joke). However, in my opinion, I do think heā€™s redeemable! Heā€™s going to live (or at least be in purgatory?) for millions of more years. He already got a punishment of literal death and has the empathy (somewhere) to continue forward and start fresh. He has thousands of years to heal from his trauma and wallow in what heā€™s done.
The Pines family may never forgive him, but out of the child-cartoony love in their hearts they offer him not forgivenessā€” but live and let live. (Well, at least Mabel does.. love you sweet girl.) If he goes around them theyā€™ll beat his ass like in weirdmaggedon, but if he stays away, they will too. At the end of the day, heā€™s been stopped and theyā€™re happy. If he is alive, (((or is going to be??))) he might as well heal.
And, well.. even if you think he doesnā€™t deserve that somewhat happy(?) ending, a redemption arc for him has been hinted at for years. Sorry, man. Respect to you and all but likeā€¦ friendship is magic and the evil demigod is gonna start working at your local wendys once heā€™s outa space arkham. Itā€™s just the way kids shows go, man.
(((Edited note: I apologize for my original wording when it came to ā€œsociopathā€ā€” I wasnā€™t aware of its actual medical use and I shouldā€™ve done my research on that! Iā€™ve changed this post to be more accurate in that regard, so if old reblogs look different itā€™s because theyā€™re the original version.)))
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slayfics Ā· 7 months ago
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Hello! Do you think you can do a Bakugo x reader who genuinely has a hard time accepting gifts and being spoiled because they grew up in a low income household? Thank you!
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Katsuki gives you a gift.
600 words
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Katsuki burst through the door of your shared apartment and announced his return, ā€œHey brat Iā€™m home!ā€
You came to the front room to greet him and were taken off guard by what was in his hands.
He had a large stuffed animal tucked under his arm with his work belongings in the other. He dropped his work bag and handed the stuffed animal out to you.
ā€œI picked this up on the way home for ya,ā€ he explained.
You hesitantly grabbed the stuffed animal, quickly realizing it wasnā€™t just any stuffed animal. It was a special edition Sanrio plush that had just came out in your favorite character. One that you recognized to be rather pricey, as you had been eyeing it the last few days. Ā 
You stared at the plush in your hands, overwhelmed by the mixed feelings that took over you.
ā€œWhat? Ya donā€™t like it?ā€ he asked, confused by your unenthusiastic reaction.
ā€œNo thatā€™s not it!ā€ You hurriedly replied.
ā€œThen what? Thatā€™s your favorite character, right?ā€ He further interrogated.
ā€œYeah, it is,ā€ you confirmed.
ā€œThen why are you looking like someone died?ā€ He questioned.
You let out a sigh as you gathered your thoughts. You werenā€™t sure how to put how you felt into words. Yet, you knew it was a conversation you had to have. Lately Katsuki had been getting you more expensive and frequent gifts and it was triggering your past.
ā€œIā€™m not used to this,ā€ you explained. ā€œGrowing up we didnā€™t have a lot of resources. It was all my family could do to keep food on the tableā€¦ Whenever they did buy me toys or extra clothes, I felt guiltyā€¦ like they should have used that money for themselves instead. I love all these gifts you give me but- I canā€™t help but still feel guilty sometimes. I still have that instinct that I donā€™t need this, and money should only be spent on necessities.ā€
Katsuki clicked his tongue, ā€œThatā€™s why I buy you all this stuff idiot,ā€ he huffed. ā€œI know how you grew up; weā€™ve talked about it so- I want to make up for what you didnā€™t have back then. Iā€™m a top pro hero now so you donā€™t ever have to worry about not having enough money for necessities. What good is being a pro hero if I canā€™t spoil my favorite person.ā€
You looked up from the plush with misty eyes. Katsukiā€™s expression was stern, but his eyes were full of affection.
ā€œLook,ā€ Katsuki continued. ā€œI know I donā€™tā€¦ say all the right things sometimesā€¦ and Iā€™m not good at expressing how I feel about you. This is how I make up for that. By providing for you and getting you any damn thing you want. Soā€¦ you canā€™t take this away from me becauseā€¦ itā€™s how I say I love you.ā€
You squeezed the stuffed animal as a tear broke free and ran down your cheek. Katsuki was quick to wipe it with his thumb caressing your cheek.
ā€œDamn it,ā€ he sighed. ā€œYou were supposed to smile and kiss me when I gave you the damn plush not cry.ā€
You sniffled, ā€œItā€™s a good cry though.ā€
ā€œYeah yeah, come here,ā€ he mumbled pulling you into an embrace. You nuzzled into his chest, holding the plush to your chest. ā€œI mean that,ā€ he continued. ā€œYou want or need anything you just tell me. Your family too. Gonna take care of all of ya now.ā€ He spoke holding you tightly.
ā€œI love you Kats,ā€ you hummed into his chest.
ā€œI love you too, soā€¦ say ya like the damn plus already.ā€ He urged.
ā€œItā€™s perfect,ā€ you smiled.
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sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99
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