#because honestly revolution only fucking happens when there’s no other options and even then it’s an absolute shitshow of a ‘solution’

[mass-convergence]

Like I’ve been living alone for the past several years and these past few weeks have been absolutely brutal at work with a lot of shit going on. And my mom texted me the other day asking if she should fly her ass halfway across the country to just take care of me for a week while I bust my ass at work because I’ve said I have no time or energy after working 12-13 hour shifts to really go and make food. I’ve been relying on doordash or drive throughs these past two weeks to keep me fed.

And yeah food is food but like … it’s not exactly great food. But the other thing is that I just come back home to an empty house, a Guinea pig, no one to talk to, and no one to like sit with quietly. No one to be like “hey I made some dinner and there’s leftovers in the fridge/kept warm in the oven”.

Just having that help offered to me made me cry in my car after I got back from work. We’re social animals - we need love and support from others. Fuck whatever idea that America somehow ingrained in us at youth that living with your folks somehow makes you a loser (and I know it’s not for everyone - some parents are real assholes and/or abusive and therefore - get the fuck out of that situation if you can and live with a close friend or other family member who won’t treat you like shit). But like the whole concept of “individualism” is bullshit. Talk to your neighbors, bake them a casserole, go help out in a soup kitchen or food pantry. Mutual aid. Help out. You don’t need to sit in your room and stress about something happening on the other side of the world and get progressively more bitter and pissed off when you can make a real difference in your own community.

[ooffmlsorry]

Getting Drunk with One Piece Men

sabo, ace, law, zoro, sanji

A/n: Ngl writing drunk characters is my bread and butter. Idk man. It's just how I am.

Content: gender neutral except female pet names in Zoro's

SABO

Y'all become idiot 1 and idiot 2, honestly you might even fight over who gets to be idiot 1

Koala's so tired of y'all omg this poor woman deserves a vacation from the two of you

You can drink him under the table, he's such a lightweight

I'm so sorry to tell you your man's a wanderer. At least once you're going to turn around and say "where'd Sabo go????" Half of your night might be spent looking for him

Despite being drunk Sabo's still a gentleman, you two are gonna stumble down the street arm and arm, he'll walk on the outside of the sidewalk closer to the street to keep you safe, and he likes getting your drinks for you

He drinks sugary drinks and will have a HORRIBLE hangover in the morning

He's not necessarily an angry drunk but he is a loud argumentative one, when he inevitably wanders off you're going to find him loudly arguing on behalf of the revolution and shit talking the world government to anyone that listens and to anyone who won't

You're also going to give each other increasingly stupid dares and stunts throughout the night

Gets affectionate as the drunkness gets closer to tiredness and then he turns into a cuddly man baby

Y'all also both crash pretty unceremoniously. Hack is going to find you two curled up in a coat closet together with a random dog and a dick drawn on your face???

ACE

two words: GOOFBALL ALERT!! He's unserious normally but when he's drunk unless something really, really bad is going down, don't expect a serious response out of him

So LOUD!!

"Ace, why are you yelling? I'm right here."

"I'M YELLING???"

You're all of his impulse control for the night and if you don't have any either than good luck to Marco...

Will loudly brag about you to anyone who listens. Probably does a toast just because you exist and will probably say something he shouldn't

Please stay near him, he just wants you to be right next to him. If you're a wanderer you're gonna stress him out real bad and he's gonna start spiraling. He's just physically clingy, he's got his arms wrapped around you, his head resting on your shoulder, sitting on his lap would make him very happy. -10 personal space.

Lights a shot of liquor on fire and drinks it to impress you. Every. Single. Time.

Speaking of that he repeats SO MANY of the same stories he's told you before

Also wants to dance with you, you've got no option unless you absolutely hate it

Tells you he loves you once every 2 minutes. please say it back. Don't be surprise if he proposes to you a couple of times when he's drunk

Inevitably starts crying...the later it is the more likely it is to happen. Just be prepared to coddle him and be covered in snot before morning.

LAW

First of all, it's gonna take a lot to get this man to actually drink. He's not a fan of being out of control. But he would do it, especially if someone told him he couldn't or told him not to

He also doesn't have the highest tolerance, the fact that he's tall is the only thing saving him from being a lightweight

You know he's drunk because he gets really expressive and talks with his hands a lot more.

I'm telling you this man is going to start talking about his coins. Fucking coins. And Sora. He's gonna out himself as a huge fucking nerd.

He's the most self aware drunk you've ever met. For the entire night he's fully aware of the things he shouldn't be doing/saying and still does them.

"I've had way too much, Y/N-ya. This is going to be awful."

*Gets another drink*

This also includes being all over you. If your relationship was a secret it's not anymore because he can't stop staring at you and keeps finding his way back to your side. And he does this thing where he keeps inspecting your hands and fingers??? He's captivated by them. You think he's trying to hold your hand without looking like he's holding your hand??? But it's kind of unclear????

The more I think about it the more I'm certain that drunk Law turns into a little weirdo.

If you touch him at all he's going to turn into putty, like his face is just gonna look like 🥴

Might start telling you secret dumb thoughts that he has or recalling good memories with Cora.

If Luffy or Kid is there he won't say no to a challenge, he doesn't say no anyway but it's so. much. worse.

He's gonna have to drink enough to put him to sleep or he's going to sober up and recall the horror of what drunk!Law was like

Please act like none of it ever happened. Please.

ZORO

This man is gonna fall asleep.

Can Zoro even get drunk???

Well, hell froze over and he did. Somehow.

Drunk Zoro is surprisingly friendly, he even almost compliments Sanji which is WILD

Like he kind of has something nice to say about everyone worth saying something nice about

There's still something really intimidating about him especially if anyone makes you uncomfortable

Suddenly Zoro can't remember your name and only refers to you as "my girl" or "woman"

Honestly, he can't believe you're actually dating him and he'll tell you several times

Will probably say something like "damn, I keep forgetting how pretty you are. 'S fucking weird."

Teases you a lot. He's like a kid pulling your pigtails because he likes you. As soon as you do it back you're going to get a big reaction out of him though

"OI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR???"

"NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT!!"

He might play fight with you lmao, be prepared to be manhandled because he's rough around the edges but man does he love you

Like I said...this man is inevitably going to fall asleep, hopefully you were done partying by that point because he's not letting go of you. You're stuck. Sorry. You're his new nighttime plushie.

SANJI

Oh Sanji *long sigh*

He thinks he's being smooth but he's boderline incoherent when he's really drunk

He's gonna hype you up!! A LOT!!!!

Probably the most normal drunk because he's already a perv and being drunk doesn't make it that much worse

He can be a little petty though lol, not towards you but you might hear him muttering something here or there

Wants to take a bunch of pictures with you

Unfortunately over half of them are gonna be a blurry mess

Absolutely wants to dance with you

He's not drinking nasty alcohol

Honestly, he's kind of giving Brittany Broski in the sense that depending on what drink he has he's gonna gag

Sidenote: he could theoretically stomach it, Zeff didn't raise no bitch(/j) but why torture him??

So excited you exist??? Like for a moment he's gonna get philosophical and be in complete awe that the two of you exist at the same time and met??? How lucky can he be!!!?

Actually, drunk Sanji gets kind of deep after a while, especially when the two of you are alone

He's not gonna cook drunk. Big no-no. That's a hazard. But if you were drunk and hungry or wanted to sober up he'll make you a cup of coffee and something that doesn't require fire or a lot of knife skills

Would rather whisk you away somewhere quiet to be alone with you after a while. Like, he's not a wanderer per se, but he wants to be alone with you

Leans on you a lot when he's drunk

He might definitely be the little spoon that night, he gets so soft by the end of the night just hold him, okay?

[bearded-shepherd]

LET'S TALK: SAINTS ROW (2022) REBOOT

Alrighty, I played... (As much as i can before I go back to work) the entire storyline n some parts and...

I enjoyed it more than i thought i would. This reboot feels more like SR3 in it's direction (the overall outline of it's world building, storyline beats, and characters).

Gameplay & Mechanics:

Surprisingly very responsive in it's controls. The Gun play and melee style were most likely brought in over from working on Agents of Mayhem. It's quick and fun. I didn't get to the special weapon skins ( honestly never did in the previous games too), but was completely fine with base stuff.

Lemme tell ya, i fucking hate driving, irl and ESPECIALLY in fukin video games but..

Never actually thought I'd have fun driving in one because generally either the cars are just slow in response or the road ways are just disastrous (either in it's ai or it's actual roads feeling narrow that i need actual fukin laxative to push through it all just to get to point B on the map).

Also drifting was very fun, so that was cool. The songs on the radio were all bops per usual too.

The Marshall weapons (particularly the one wear ya can shoot through items) were fun but a lil OP imo.

Bugs/Glitches:

There were a few bugs/glitches, majority was cosmetic...like literally. My character's underwear keeps disappearing, so when I'm changing the character's attire or getting a tattoo, the cactus is showing. So I'm constantly trying to take of and put on the underwear again. However, toward the later half of the game, i don't have that issue anymore (maybe it was fixed when it updated). At least it wasn't as bad as CP2077 where my whole pickle was dangling in the cutscenes for the longest lul.

Another issue is the map, the cursors/character's placement is nowhere to be seen. I didn't notice it til and update happen tho, so that was minor thing. Side stuff sometimes don't appear on the map but it's on the mini map onscreen.

This subtitles sometimes get unsync with the convos (a lil too fast) but i believe ya can fix that in the 'options' in how fast ya want it.

Character Creation/Customization:

Still better than most current games. Lots to customize. But one thing i did notice right away... This is the generation wear every paints their nails right? But i didn't see a GOTTDAMN option in this game but there were options in the previous ones. Like bih, not everyone is fingering (some strap)...GIVE ME SOME PAINT.

Also, i searched far n wide, but no freckles? Win some (Vitiligo, Prosthetics, etc) ya lose some ( Guy Fieri nails).

Big yes, is that ya can customize ya character entirely though an app anything in the game.

Accessibility:

I'm hard of hearing lil fuker, so one major flaw in this game is the Audio Balance. Holy fuk, even with the radio turned off, i still can't hear shit in the convos (especially the character Eli).

Luckily tho, i figure out the plethora of accessibility options for audio balance, but boy was it hard to navigate.

Storyline:

Lulw It's a SR game. On par with the others.

Gangs:

... They are all derivatives of SR3, SR2, so on...but really tho. This is were i have to say, it LACKS boys, and ya can see which gang they put more focus on in creating.

Los Panteros: Luchadores and The Brotherhood found out they had a baby but Roe v Wade was already terminated by then. Not much was expanded on this group really.

Marshall Defense Industries: literally every single SR game has a heavily militarized faction. Also how y'all let my girl Gwen disappear like that

Idols: The modern day basement dwelling Deckers that never touched grass. But honestly, I actually this gang. Why? The shit they say reminds me a whole lot of specific peeps on a blue bird app and beating their asses is so fun in this game.

Ok, but no seriously. The Idols are PEAK satirize epitome of the specific loud minority that screech REVOLUTION, and only care and think about the 'aesthetic'. They don't care about actually helping the beaten down, the victimized, they only care about 'looking' good on the socials while say hollowed out jargon about 'sticking it to the man' or 'we live in an hegemonic oppressed society, wake up sheeple' sort of thing. While never actually doing anything about it, and if they do, it turns out to harm the little man in the end. The Idols are legit reductionists.

Alrighty, The Controversy:

Before we get into the meat n potatoes, like all SR, it's all satirical criticism on authority and present day social topics/groups.

The new 'look' threw a lot of peeps off and a bit immediately wrote it off as 'SJW whatever' wah shit before even using a piece of grey matter to realize...

it's all pretty much the same from the very beginning of this series really. If ya understand the creation of Saint Row the series, ya understand why the reboot is the way it is now.

Being disappointed, I can understand. I loved the old cast, i love the gangs, but they won't last forever cause everything is temporary. Time moves on and different groups are at play, so on and so on.

Did they have to reboot this series....eh, i don't really care either way personally. In the end, it's up the the creators to decide on that.

That's it, other than my boss is a beef cake and I believe I did an amazing job designing her (:

ALSO, who's ready for dead island 2? I know it's been some years n some change (i legit thought they dropped this game) but it seems like it's really happening.

[yeahhiyellow]

19, 22 and 23? :^)

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Tbh there are a lot of things I hate, although by this point it's only very certain parts of the fandom that have these problems, since most of the shitty people have lost interest by this point. If I had to choose just one thing though, it'd be the overwhelming focus on white, male characters over female and/or characters of color. And there are a lot of areas where this shows up. One major example is that a lot of people like the idea of Connor, Hank, Gavin, and Nines (all white, male characters, mind you) staying at the DPD even after:

The DPD was the one (along with Cyberlife) responsible for the deaths, arrests, and brutal treatment of androids, the main oppressed group in the game's world

Connor and Nines are a part of that oppressed group, and at least Hank is shown in game to support them

Connor has already worked at the DPD and was routinely called an "it" (which as someone who is nonbinary and has been called "it" knows how insulting that can be and understands the need to get away from situations where that happens), was allowed to be sent to his death by, and was routinely harassed and nearly murdered, or in some playthroughs actually murdered, by workers at the DPD (*ahem Gavin ahem*)

Hank (if he is your friend) risked his career just to cause a distraction for Connor to keep him alive

Just because the android revolution was successful doesn't mean the DPD was going to follow that. I mean, the androids were heavily compared to African Americans in this game, and we all know how the current police system treats them (and if you don't, pay attention to the news, like, ever. Also read Jim Crow as that book is very informative on the oppression of blacks in the entire incarceration system as well as before and after that)

So I hope it would be pretty obvious to any sane person that suggesting these characters would join/remain in the DPD after everything is offensive on all sorts of levels.

In addition to that, you also have some people saying that they only cared about Connor's story, or that his was the only good one. The female protagonist that risks her own life several times to save that of a child (no matter if she is human or android)? Not important. The (half) black protagonist who is shot by police, has to rebuild himself, and leads his own people to freedom? Who cares? The only important story to these people is the white, male, cop android who spends most of his time hunting down the good guys. And if some people honestly prefer Connor's story because of their own reasons, that's fine. And yes, Kara and Markus's stories have lots of problems. But Connor's does too, and none of this gives people an excuse to ignore the other characters, especially since they are the minority characters. Then, there are also the people who say Connor's machine path was better than his deviant path, or that him being replaced by Nines in the end was unfair. And... what the fuck??? I mean, I get it, it's fun to play through different options, and Connor is hella badass in the machine path. But he is also hella badass in the deviant path (killing the guards in the elevator, possibly the team at the bottom if he doesn't catch the security camera, fighting Sixty, walking in front of all the androids he freed, like, come on), and he also, like, has morals and isn't oppressive??? In the machine route, he kills his own people, including those who just want to be free and might have been completely pacifist the entire way through. So I'm sorry, anyone who thinks his machine path is better is just looking for an excuse to be oppressive without openly admitting it.

Then there's the Gavin apologizers. While fanon Gavin is awesome, some people have way overstepped the line of redemption and allowing oppression. I've seen posts defending Gavin's in-game behavior, just because he refers to androids as "he" on occasion. This is despite:

Suggesting "roughing up," or being violent to Shaolin (the HK400 in "The Interrogation")

Insulting his partner, Chris, when he doesn't forcibly move Shaolin against Shaolin's will

Pointing a gun at Connor after Connor rightfully says to stop touching Shaolin for both succeeding the mission and for Shaolin's sake, and only stepping down after Hank points a gun at him and even after insults Connor

Punching Connor right in the thirium pump regulator and then pushing his head right where his LED is in the break room if Connor refuses to get him a coffee

Insulting and threatening Connor in the same scene even if Connor follows all of his demands

Insulting Hank's alcoholism in the Eden Club "it's starting to stink of booze in here"

Purposely pushing Connor to the side in the same scene

Trying to literally murder Connor and admitting he'd wanted to kill him ever since he first saw Connor, sometimes successfully

Both physically and verbally assaulting Connor

I forgive very easily and strongly believe in redemption, don't get me wrong. But trying to excuse Gavin's behaviors is so inexcusable, especially when most of his aggressions are towards androids, the oppressed minority.

Now, let's look at Ao3, shall we? Let's see how many fics posted there are with each of the "main" (including Gavin and Nines since even though they are not main characters in canon they are in fanon) characters... (also, keep in mind, I gathered this data about a month ago so it might not be completely up to date):

Connor: 16,150

Markus: 5,395

Kara: 1,504

Hank: 13,135

Nines: 9,807

Gavin: 9,939

Amanda: 1,177

Chloe: 1,521

North: 3,056

Simon: 3,192

Josh: 1,965

Alice: 1,098

Luther: 848

Rose: 193

This means that certain characters get unequal amounts of attention:

White: 59,042

Black: 9,578

Male: 60,431

Female: 8,549

White, Male: 52,223

White, Female: 7,179

Black, Male: 8,208

Black, Female: 1,370

Well, this says a lot. Now, some people reading this might realize that there are more white and male characters to begin with, so it could be fair even with their numbers being higher. So, okay, let's see the average amount of works a single character in each of the above categories would have (so divide each of the values by the number of characters in that category) (also I rounded to the tenth place aka first decimal point):

White: 6,560.2

Black: 1,915.6

Male: 7,553.9

Female: 1,424.8

White, Male: 10,444.6

White, Female: 1,794.8

Black, Male: 2,736

Black, Female: 685

If anything, these are even more telling. And if you don't believe me, look on Ao3 and calculate these yourself, because you'll get the same thing.

To be clear, I don't have anything against Connor, Hank, or any of the white and/or male characters. I even like the way that the fandom has redeemed Gavin. But the fandom has not done the same job of redeeming other characters, especially the minority ones, and pays way less attention to them, and that needs to be called out with evidence by someone.

Anyway, I spent a LONG time on that first question, so I'll try to make the next answers shorter!

22. Popular character you hate?

There aren't any popular characters that I thoroughly hate. The only characters I hate are ones that are already highly unpopular (Todd, Zlatko, Perkins). If we're talking canon characters, I do hate Gavin with a flaming passion. I mean, he is meant to represent police brutality. But fanon Gavin is cool with me, so I'm not sure exactly how much this counts.

There is one semi-popular character that I dislike though, and that is Kamski. I'm half-counting him again because within the fandom there are very mixed opinions. I personally dislike him mainly because of his treatment of one of his Chloe's: he is willing to let her get shot in the head and killed just to find a dumb answer to his Kamski test just because he feels like it. If Connor doesn't shoot Chloe, he tells Connor he's deviant, knowing full well that Amanda and Cyberlife are watching being the one to design the program, endangering Connor. While he arguably is responsible for deviancy and wants androids to succeed, that doesn't make up for those facts.

Another character that half-counts is Daniel. There are mixed opinions within the fandom on him as well, with some arguing that he is only wanting to not get replaced and protect himself. However, since his first response was to kill the dad, and then he proceeded to shoot at least 3 more cops, killing 2, and hold Emma, the young girl he had been friends with for years hostage, even though she had nothing to do with his replacement. You can't argue that he didn't want to kill Emma and only used her as protection for himself, either, as there are multiple endings where he tries and sometimes succeeds in killing Emma, even when he is also killing himself. I'm not closed to a redemption arc for him, but his in-game actions are inexcusable. He's the one deviant who truly has no valid defense for his actions.

23. Unpopular character you love?

There are a few. I absolutely adore North, Josh, Adam, and Alice, even though the fandom has conflicted opinions on them. Then again, none of these characters are really considered unpopular, just not as popular as others with a select few that don't like them. With North, I've been in this fandom since a few months after its release, when there was a lot of North hatred, and was actually in a group called the North Protection Squad lol. However, now most people like her, and she's really grown in popularity. With Josh, it's less that he's hated, and more that he's ignored. People say that Simon was the peaceful option when he was really the neutral, and recently I've seen more people against Josh's opinions on the revolution. While I don't always agree with Josh being so passive and undemanding (neither do I agree with North's violence), he's still an awesome character with some very valid points. Then, I do understand why some people dislike Adam, as at first he's against androids and almost reveals Kara and the others. However, if you meet him at the border crossing, he apologizes to Kara and changes his mind, promising to help androids. While he may start out scared and not on the right side, he does have a good heart and ends up making the right decisions in the end. With Alice, I haven't seen many people hate her, either, although I have seen some saying she's annoying and lacks a personality. I agree that she lacks a personality, although I argue that's the writers' faults rather than her character's (as are problems with other characters, I mean David Cage wrote this so what were we expecting). I also don't think she's annoying, as after all she is only 9 (in human terms), doesn't admit she's an android because she's scared Kara will reject her (and Kara actually can reject her for being an android, leaving her completely on her own in a world that wants her dead. Also, living her whole life with Todd can absolutely not help her feel more secure with who she is or make her trust Kara to still love her for it), and she is only cold and feels sick because her model of android is literally designed to replicate human sickness and discomfort (and it's clear she doesn't know how to turn them off, because even after Kara knows she's an android Kara still has to help Alice not feel cold anymore. Also, this is November in Detroit, in which the average temperature is 42°F (5.6°C). There are also scenes where it is snowing, meaning the temperature is below freezing. Still, despite the temperatures, in some scenes not having a coat, and feeling sick, she says Kara and Luther can't stop because of her, risks her life to save Kara's if you fail QTEs, and says she's "fine" even when she's cold to comfort Kara. So if you think she can be annoying, yeah, all 9-year-olds can be. But if you think she's annoying enough to actually hate her, idek what to say).

In terms of characters that are really unpopular, I actually like Leo. His actions at first are inexcusable. I mean, accusing Carl of loving an android more than hin, insulting Markus and treating him as less than human, threatening him, breaking into Carl's house and attempting to steal his paintings for drug money, and framing Markus for Carl's death leading to him getting shot and nearly killed are obviously not okay things to do. However, he is clearly on drugs, specifically red ice, the most dangerous drug in the world. Also, if you decide to push Markus leading Carl to still be alive, when you return to Carl's house, you can find a message Leo sent to Carl in which he apologizes for everything and promises it won't happen again. In the extras section, you also find out Carl missed out on Leo's whole childhood, only first meeting him once he was much older. Given that Carl spends all of his days pleasantly conversing with Markus while ignoring Leo, not calling him, only talking to Leo once he comes around himself, and doesn't even argue when Leo says Carl doesn't love him, it's almost fair that Leo thinks the way he does. Since he's also high on drugs throughout the story, at least up until Markus gets shot, we also know that the Leo we see isn't the real Leo. Later, if Carl is dead and Markus visits his grave, he encounters Leo again. This time, when Leo sees Markus he is only shocked. Now, off of red ice, not only is he going to see Carl's grave, expressing love for his father, he also doesn't try to hurt Markus, insult him, or anything mean or dehumanizing. His expression lacks any signs of aggression. It was only when he was high that he was such an asshole. Although that doesn't excuse his behavior, it does give a reason for it, and by the end I consider him redeemed.

~~~

Wow... that was a long response to a very short ask. No need to read all that (although I would highly suggest reading my first answer, at least, since that does contain some very relevant points). Although then again, if you've made it here, you've probably already read all that. In which case I would love to hear your opinions if you're willing to share (as well as anyone who sees this!) I guess I just had a lot of opinions that I needed to put out in the world lol, so thank you sm for the ask!!!!! 💛💛💛

[phoenixyfriend]

The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal​‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like  you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna��s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

[transsexualhamlet]

predictions for yuumori s2 (as a manga reader)

No matter what happens, this is probably gonna end up aging badly, but i’m hyperfixating and I’ve decided to make it everyone else’s problem so I’m going to predict where they’re gonna go with s2 of moriarty the patriot (keep in mind i’m writing this as of episode 2) and what I think would be the ideal scenario, in the likely situation that this is the last season.

So we can tell a lot about what they’re going to cut/include from the opening and ending, and the first two episodes. 

Observations/Conclusions:

-moneypenny and most likely von herder are gone, already evidenced by the first 2 episodes, which is :( but understandable bc there’s only so much space and they’re definitely cutting the arcs where they would be important

-so that means no moran backstory because duh, there’s a point in the backstory and i see value in it, moran slaps when he’s not being an ass lmao, but again, time constraints

-no matter what I can’t see them keeping in the like, child hunting thing 2 electric boogaloo, even tho it did further Fred’s and Louis’ characters, since they’ve previously cut out stuff considering them and. You know. That’s how it be.

-You can see they’re including jack the ripper arc (considering, jack is in the opening) and I have faith that they can downsize the arc without butchering it if they do it right. This is good that they’re keeping it in, considering it’s one of the... main arcs not involving milverton that advances the plot.

-Major thing we can tell is that, yeah, Milverton is nowhere to be seen. It seems like this would fuck things up bad since he’s like, the only kind of “main villain” we get here. But honestly? I agree with that. Fuck Milverton. He has no character or motivation and is like my one and only bone to pick with the manga. He’s just there to suck ass and create plot convenience?? I don’t like him and he never needed to be there if he wasn’t at least going to do something interesting. I support the anime cutting him.

-That DOES fuck over their ability to do the white knight arc, since, well, milverton is the cause of all of that. And this is the one thing I really don’t know what they’re going to do with that to connect jack the ripper directly to the final problem. I can’t predict that, but I do think there are ways it can be done that won’t be Awful.

-So considering that, Mary’s arc is definitely axed, which doesn’t bother me that much since by that point i so impatient for gay people and really didn’t care about watson’s fiance even tho she is a lovely lady. For anime effect, she does not need an arc, though I could see them having her show up a few times so watson doesn’t seem too gay either lmao.

-They’re definitely shooting to end with the final problem, considering without it there’s no big culminating event between moriarty and sherlock, which is obviously the big sell. And well. It’s. Um. The final problem. 

The season says it’s slated to be 13 episodes, since s1 didn’t have enough time for 12. I honestly think they can manage it all, if they play their cards right. 

Outlook:

This whole potential situation does sound familiar, I’ll point out that I just arrived here after the shit show of the promised neverland’s second season. But I don’t think it will get bad like tpn did. Because in Moriarty, they could afford to cut things because there are many stand alone and disposable arcs, whereas tpn really shouldn’t have, since they pretty much all contributed later to Major Main Character Plot Things. And the important points of the arcs that they’ll probably cut can actually be written into existing ones without looking like plot convenience, in my vision of it.

Honestly, I’m pretty optimistic for moriarty, it works better for this kind of adaption than in a lot of other manga that end up getting these most likely two season adaptions. I’d love to get those arcs for the servant’s and other character’s developments of course, but trying to stick that in when there’s really only time to focus on the main characters would suck up time better spent on really getting deep into the main storyline. Even if there are less characters, in a situation like this a streamlined and nuanced story will look elegant, whereas shoving as much content as possible into a few short episodes makes everyone cringe.

The situation does end up looking like the promised neverland, but it has a chance to be significantly less fucked considering,,, well,,, tpn is an insanely low bar, and they will hopefully not make the promised neverland’s same mistakes of Shove Seventeen Plotlines Into One Episode After Realizing Belatedly They Actually Needed Those Parts.

Obviously I don’t know what will happen, and this will be outdated by sunday lmao, but my projection looks something like this for 13 episodes to conclude the show.

Predictions:

(Episodes 1+2: A Scandal in the British Empire)

Episode 3: I’m very anxious for 3 considering this will probably make or break my opinion on the anime. Ideally, this episode would wrap up the scandal arc and go over the whole James Bond thing, it could be pretty baller and fit well into an episode. But though there’s plenty of Irene in the opening, there’s no sight of Bond, so considering anime as a whole is fucking transphobic, they might try to change it, twist around bond’s words or just, gloss over it altogether. If they cut it, they might have time to squeeze in another arc but I don’t think they honestly need to? With what they seem to be keeping in, they’ll have ample time to get to everything, and it would be shorter anyway considering the smaller amount of servants. 

Here, we do definitely need to cover Sherlock’s “receiving the name of the lord of crime and deciding to burn it and find it out himself because he’s extra”, no matter the status of irene/bond’s gender. If they do that right and possibly change a few things so it’s more important, this could play into them moving forward his whole discovery of their secrets.

Episodes 4-7: These will most likely cover jack the ripper arc. There’s a lot to go over here, and I’m confident they can cut it down, because tbh Moriarty is pretty long winded for a manga and cutting things is good to an extent. This covers most of the major expansions on William’s ideas and plans, and definitely has the holes to stuff in more of the points made in the arcs that will be cut out. Though I have my reservations, they could plausibly take most points in white knight and integrate them into here.

Episodes 8-10: These are the ones that are going to take the most work and probably be the most changed. They should finish up the ripper arc in 7, give or take a few episodes, and then here, If Sherlock has a little more figured out from episode 3, he can look deeper. I think it’s honestly a good idea for the one to discover the Incriminating Records to be him, as it again gives them more connection. There needs to be some other reason Moriarty’s secrets are in danger of getting leaked to the paper, but I’m sure they can put something together with scotland yard or something, or even like, Mycroft. I see that. But if that happens, then we can spend an episode or so on the merchant of london, aka little liam commits girlboss, which can be woven into the idea of everything Coming Out.

Episodes 11-13: Final problem. I see this going mostly unchanged, up until 55. Truth is they’ll probably end up cutting something but hmm. I don’t know. They should keep the fred stuff in, since they’ll cut his other development. They should keep the squad asking sherlock for help, since they cut the other parts that highlight the crime squad’s care for him. But I think they could montage most of the William Goes French Revolution On You Hoes, even the part where the kids come in front of one of them, if you see what’s going on right. But everything can proceed as in the manga pretty smoothly, I think, it all makes sense if they put it together in 7-10. You know, you got somehow, the worst case happens, and boom, scandal, final problem enacted. Killing spree. William reveals he’s been emo this whole time but it’s too late now. Everyone scrambling to catch up with his damn plans. Gay boy knocking on 221B with a fucking love letter. Shit gets found out. And then... well, yuh.

Disclaimer I still don’t know everything about this, bc I cannot find a translation of 54, only the raw with no context, and I know there’s content after 55 but I can’t find that either. But I’m sure as hell an english major and can understand where things are probably going. I don’t know what’s involved at that point, and if there’s some plan detailed to save him or something. That’s the main thing I don’t know, and if there is one detailed of course that kind of changes everything, but for now I’m going on the assumption that 54 is “sherlock runs to the bridge and yells at liam to stop being a dramatic whore while london burns around them and the murder squad watches anxiously with mysterious intent, until it is chapter 55″. (IF Y’ALL HAVE THE ENGLISH PLEASE HMU) They better not TOUCH anything in 55 or so help me god.

But as to after 55, things are going to be different. Besties, I’m an optimist, but there’s no way they’ll make a season after this. It does appear that they’ve mostly wrapped up, and they’ve gotten through what Big Revals they plan on doing. The shit hinted from the beginning has happened, and there probably won’t be enough to create another, unless the author plans on fucking shit up again, which I don’t approve of. There are a few things still left unsaid, like, Liam’s real name and everything, but if it’s supposed to be important, things that small can 100 percent be written into this.

And as something that’s intending to finish up a story, depending on what manga canon really is (BESTIE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS) they might change it. There’s two options, a bittersweet/hopeful and a tragic one, but either one will end up open ended, because of my extensive knowledge of 2 season animes with significantly longer mangas. (done badly: tokyo ghoul and tpn, done well: owari no seraph and mob psycho) Either we have it like well, oh damn, everything was destined to be Sad but well you’re with him now you’re probably dead, but you know there’s something hinted at and you don’t know for sure so that’s the catch. So you get a vague and bittersweet but possibly hopeful ending. OR something that takes,,, whatever ends up happening in the manga or whatever the plan is and turning it into an epilogue infodump.

I can see either going well depending on how they handle the messages of the story. But yeah, as far as to my extent of the understanding of the show, that’s how it’ll probably go, and what my opinion of how it should is.

To What Extent Will The Gay:

You know, this is my ideal scenario within these time limits, but you know they could always go The Wrong Direction if the anime team took a look at some of the later chapters and went “holy shit this is a bit too gay” and try to axe some of the sherliam content, which I wouldn’t put past any corporation.

In the case that they do, I see lot of good shit going. They’re clearly trying to do the final problem, so they obviously can’t cut out 55, which is good :). But though 55 is clearly, uh, really fucking homosexual, the most romantic shit goes down in 53, as far as I can tell? (keeping in mind i still haven’t found 54′s english version, if anyone would like to direct me to a translation, that would be LOVELY.) I unfortunately can see them cutting Liam’s letter almost entirely, and that kind of scares me.

You know, even if i’d hate and slander them for it, cutting out james bond would be something i would understand. But messing with sherliam would fuck them over, not just cause that would be awful, but like, because it’s like... kind of the main point.

So I’m not really too worried about them messing with it, mostly because the content itself is holding them at gunpoint, sherliam holds the whole plot structure in place, especially if you’re shooting for final problem. And even in the manga they never, like, actually say they’re in love with each other even tho historically gay lovers would probably call each other “friends” lmao so it’s not like they have to greenlight gay sex or anything lmao it’s just Very Romantic (No Homo)

And apart from that, yuumori has actually been pretty decent to the gays so far?? Damn shawty, they certainly haven’t toned down the gay yet and it’s clearly their main source of fans, and what they’ve decided to emphasize in both openings and a significant portion of the s2 ending. We’re all here for it, and they’re catering to it, so I can at least give you that.

[fuzziemutt]

Do You Understand?

Chapter 1/9 - Link to MasterList in reblog

Summary: Connor knows he isn’t the most.. knowledgeable... about emotions but that didn’t mean he didn’t understand them ever. If they weren’t going to take him seriously then he wasn’t even going to try interacting with them anymore. What could possibly go wrong?

Tw: I’m placing all possible tws here that could apply to the story. Possible ableism (this is not explicit but what Connor goes through can be similar to it), dissociation, very emotionally harmful coping mechanisms. Self worth problems. Trauma responses that go unnoticed. Please let me know if I need to add any more.

This started as a vent fic that extended outward into comfort, it gets worse before it gets better.

Notes: This is my first multi chaptered fic, I’ve never done this before. I did write the whole story in entirety prior and scheduled the other chapters to slowly release. The original vent was honestly quite different than what ended up being written, and I don’t know how it turned into this huge thing.

Also: There are no ships in this, this is all platonic. The only relationship status is that Hank is Connor’s dad even if they don’t quite acknowledge it.

Also also: This is Connor Pov. We mainly focusing on his thought processes throughout and they aren’t particularly healthy. (Connor also has ADHD)

---

Connor knew he had trouble expressing and understanding his emotions. It wasn't a secret. He'd often find people looking at him with confusion, and sometimes wariness, with his lack of response to many things. He was a prototype. Sure he had one of the most advanced social relations software to date, but Cyberlife cut corners with the amount of articulation his face could produce, his current model wasn't meant to live long and to be disposable after all.

It doesn't help that he also just didn't know how to express what he was feeling in the limited ways he could. He "lived" most of his trial runs and current time in severe denial out of fear of deactivation so he'd rather ignore them than process them. It wasn't healthy but it was safe. Familiar.

That didn't mean he couldn't feel. He felt lots of things like guilt, hatred, fear, the occasional spark of joy. Too many things sometimes, in fact, that led him to having a nasty habit of adamantly ignoring it all, manually storing it away for later to keep his composer and stay in fully functioning order. Sure this led to people often ignoring his own desires and doing things that severely hurt him with no mention from him. But he was fine. He chose this after all. 

However, even with all the quarantining and ignoring, he couldn't help the anger that bubbled under his skin and in his throat right now. 

"Hank, I understand that you're angry but-" 

"You think you understand? You don't understand a shit, Connor! How could you?! I get you're your own person and everything now, but I never see you express anything beyond mild displeasure!" Hank yelled back. Connor was glad they were at Hank's house at least to provide some sense of privacy but saying he felt unhappiness at being yelled at was an understatement. 

Connor went to open his mouth in defense but Hank cut him off, "Of course you don't understand! How could you ever understand any emotions! You keep acting like a-" he suddenly went quiet, but Connor knew. 

"Like a what, Lieutenant?" He asked, making sure to keep his LED a yellow slow turn, but he couldn't help how sharp his voice came out, how his eyes hardened to a fine point. 

They stared at each other for several tense seconds before Hank seemed to deflate a bit and looked ashamed. 

"Like a machine," he spat out, still tense and upset but his fury gone. 

Connor simply nodded, quarantining what he could to not lash out and stood up silently. 

"I will be taking Sumo out for a walk to allow for us to take a breather before we both do something we regret. I will return," he said, shoulders tense and voice strict. His movements felt stiff as he tried to hold himself back from continuing this fight, grabbing the leash and patting his side to call over the old dog. 

"You can't just run away-" Hank tried, stepping closer as if to grab Connor's arm to stop him. But Connor's ice cold glare, almost threatening posture and clenched fists seemed to stop him. They kept forgetting that Connor wasn't just meant for integration but also intimidation, he once was a deviant (killer) hunter after all, and he can be intimidating when he so pleased. Hank seemed to suddenly remember the rumors of Gavin getting his ass handed to him by Connor in under a minute flat by how he backed away uncertain.

Connor left and came back a bit over half an hour later. Hank would apologize and Connor would accept it, even if that anger still simmered deep inside, and they'd go back to joking and discussing work matters like nothing happened. Friends sometimes fight after all. It was fine.

Despite how much Connor hated those accusations of him being incapable of understanding, they. Kept. Happening. 

Not just with Hank but others as well. The people who he thought were his friends, the Jericrew, even Nines the RK900, kept pulling the same shit. Connor knew they all experienced deviancy differently than him, Nines also had the gift of a face with full articulation that he couldn't help but envy, but it irked him every time. 

"Let's switch topics for Connor..."

"Oh I should have talked about this with someone else..."

"It was rude of me to assume you understand-" 

"Oh.. Sorry I know you don't understand-"

"You know he doesn't understand-"

"He won't understand-"

"He can't understand-" 

Each time he heard that word, understand, Connor felt that broiling anger rise just a bit more. Each time they never even asked how he felt before the assumption, he felt his trust disintegrate bit by bit. He was a master of masking his emotions to get the emotional responses he wanted, but even he had a limit when anytime he saw his friends he felt nothing but hateful bitterness below his false pleasantries. He even stopped willfully hanging out with all of them, even Hank, as it grew harder to fight down the urge to scream and yell and make them understand. 

It all came to a head during a meeting with the Jericho leaders, Nines tagged along as well as he said how much he missed seeing him outside of work. They were discussing how to handle the androids that still had severely negative responses to humans after all this time since the revolution. He was in the middle of talking about a solution of creating areas in New Jericho that would absolutely not allow humans and could run independently when North rounded on him.

"I'm sorry," in a very much not sorry tone, "but how am I supposed to take your option any bit seriously when you don't understand any of these androids' struggles mister 'my best friend is a human'."

"North-" Markus warned. The others even tensed up staring at Connor.

"No seriously. He could never understand their struggles," North plowed forward with no hesitation. 

Connor felt something snap inside of him. He felt his LED burn bright red, his back straighten, fists clenched, and his features shift into that bitter anger that he tried his best to keep under wraps. He could see how everyone grew more than just tense but wary even; he even saw a flash of fear in North's eyes. 

They insisted he was nothing more than a machine who didn't understand. That he'll forever be Cyberlife's pet (killer) deviant hunter. So he'll show them the hunter that was conditioned, threatened, who thrived on his own anger and fear through every grueling training session. The side that he kept pushed down as much as he could. 

He couldn't help the bitter laugh that came out of him, "understand... You know what? I'm starting to think I fucking hate that word." 

He knew he was scaring them with how North backed away quickly and the others started coming forward as if to protect her from him. His anger worsened at that but a small part of him felt a bit of twisted satisfaction at how they're finally treating him seriously. He could even imagine Amanda whispering praises for being the threat they wanted from the back of his CPU. 

"Has it never occurred to you that I might have problems with humans as well?" His hands expressed where his face couldn't, trying to contain the energy thrumming in his body, "has it never occurred to you what I might have gone through hm? 

“Oh wait. You never asked. You only accused. Have you ever thought about how my serial number has a 54 at the end of it? Did it ever occur to you that I have to exist with the memory of 53 deactivations constantly and the fear that I might be the 54th for merely breathing wrong? Who do you think did that? Who do you think reminded me day in and out that I was nothing but an expendable machine made to kill, to never ask questions because it meant deactivation or my internals torn out while I was awake. Humans. Humans did that but no, just because I trusted Hank not to do the same, I don't understand?" 

He knew he was slowly growing erratic and unstable with how aggressively his hands moved and the way everyone backed away from him. The way he loomed over them with his presence didn't help their nerves he was sure. Or how he slowly stalked towards them as if a predator was cornering its prey. But he couldn't help it, the thrumming pulse in his core needed to come out and by hell was it coming out now. 

"Not only that, but I apparently don't understand emotions too! I may be a deviant but emotions? They're off the table!" He couldn't help the second bitter laugh, a tinge hysterical, "no no. None of you took the time to ask me how I was handling these emotions and instead just assumed I didn't feel them! Because I'm ‘just a machine’. This guilt, fear, and self hatred I feel every waking moment? Lies because I'm just a machine. Even this anger I'm expressing right now? These are lies too aren't they? The nightmares I get of my countless deactivations and the numerous deaths that stain my hands? All just my programs malfunctioning because I'm just. A. Machine." 

"We didn't... Connor we didn't know-" Nines started, his sadness and fear clear as day on his face like how they wanted Connor's to be. The others were solemnly nodding along too as if this would appease him. 

"Because you never. Asked. Because none of you ever truly fucking cared!" Connor roared in response, slamming a fist down on the metal table next to him. All their eyes snapped and starred at the large dent he knew he left behind but he didn't care. He let himself breathe heavily, taking a second to find himself and his self restraint again. 

And just like that, he locked up those pesky emotions like everyone expected him to. He knew the people before him didn't actually desire him to show any negative emotions just like them, they proved it just now with how they're looking at him. He took one final deep breath, fixed his tie and let his face slip back into its emotionless mask except the cold, closed off glare didn't leave. He even felt that that was going to be a permanent feature now after today and couldn't help the internal chuckle at the irony how he finally was showing the emotions they desperately wanted him to show.

No one said anything as he moved towards the door. There was still tension in the air, fear, anger and confusion swirled in various manners of their eyes. Nines seemed split on treating him like a threat and reaching out to him, maybe even to pity him. Markus also looked like he wanted to say something, but he just looked away in the end. North had fearful eyes but a look that seemed to say 'I was right we couldn't trust him'. Josh held Simon behind him, and he looked almost sad if his distrust didn't say otherwise. Simon refused to take his eyes off the clear fist shaped dent in the table, still as a statue. Connor vaguely wondered if they'd replace that table because of him just like how they so easily replaced him with Nines when given the chance.

No one made a move to stop him from leaving. He couldn't tell if it was out of fear of him showing those (killer) hunter colors again by snapping an arm or if they're realizing just how badly they fucked up. He couldn't tell which choice he wanted more either. He hoped it was the latter.

"You're all hypocrites. To me, you're all no better than them," was the last thing he hissed out before slamming the door closed behind him. He heard the way the frame and wall around the door shook and cracked from the force but again, he didn't care. He wasn't going to play nice anymore if this was how they felt like treating him. He was programmed to be amiable, calm but he was also programmed to be obedient and he knew how that went. A bit of anxiety existed of how much damage he did and how easily he almost lost control back there, but he just ignored it again as he rushed down the hall to leave. 

No one followed him.

[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great Chapter 12

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~4,000

Warnings: Smut

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape @revolution-starter @autumnleaves1991-blog @jedi-mando @buckysalefty

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Eva woke desperately needing to pee. She was laying on her back, hands on either side of her head. Horacio’s arm was thrown over her waist, his body angled towards her. She looked over at him, his face completely relaxed, breaths slow and even. A beautiful man laying in repose.

Very carefully, she extricated herself from him, padding to the bathroom. Afterwards, as she was washing her hands, Eva flinched at her reflection in the mirror. Bruises had formed over her hips, on her thighs, around her wrists. He’d sucked hickeys over her stomach and breasts. When she turned, her back was similarly marked.  At her neck was a clear bite, just over the scent gland behind her ear.

She ran two fingers over it, the skin sensitive and warm. Eva wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing at the time, knew the consequences of this actions. She stared at it, feeling flushed.

Hands on the counter, Eva debated her options.  She could try to hide it, but experience taught her that Horacio was nothing if not observant.  She could sneak out, but she’d run the risk of implying she was unhappy with the bonding mark on her neck. The truth was quite the opposite. She tamped down the excitedly happy feeling, trying not to get ahead of herself.

Turning off the lights, Eva gingerly opened the door and crawled back into the bed, hauling the comforter with her from where it had been kicked off in the night. Horacio grumbled as she slid in next to him, hands already pulling her into his chest, a sleepy kiss touching her brow. Eva smiled and snuggled down, falling back asleep.

When she woke again, she was alone. The bed was still warm, but he wasn’t there. Groggy, she scooted  to standing and dug through her overnight bag, pulling on a t shirt and shorts. With a yawn, she headed to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and stopped herself from pulling her hair up.  Probably best that she leave it down for the moment.

Rubbing at her eyes, she stepped out into the hall and towards the living room, searching. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He’d donned a pair of sweatpants, and even from a distance she could see that she’d scratched him across the arms, parallel red lines running from his tricep down around to the bend of his elbow.

A kind of tentative self consciousness settled over her.  She’d been worried about the way her body looked, she hadn’t stopped to consider what she’d done to him.

As if sensing her, his head lifted and he fixed her with a hard gaze.  Eva bit her lip, unsure in her approach.

“How did you sleep?” she tried, remaining in the doorway.

His eyes softened, “Good. Really good.”

Lifting a hand, he reached out to her.  Relieved, Eva shuffled towards him, taking it. He pulled her to sit next to him. Eva went willingly, settling in and pulling her knees beneath her. They sat in silence for a few moments, and Eva could feel the tension in him.

“We need to talk about this,” he said finally.

Eva looked up at him, “About what?”

“This,” he touched the side of her neck, just below where he’d marked her.

She inhaled sharply, her eyes falling to half mast as the sensation lanced through her body. It would be like that until he finished the bond, every caress met with an urgent push of desire.

“What about it?”

Scoffing, he dropped his hand, eyes rolling, “This is serious, Eva.”

She knew this, “I know.”

God, but it was serious. She knew it. And yet, she couldn’t drudge up the ire she should definitely be feeling for what had happened. She didn’t want to.

“Then treat it seriously.”

Eva wasn’t quite prepared for the anger that traveled throughout his tone. Insecurities that she had worked to overcome reared up and it took a moment for her to realize that he was waiting for her to say something.

Looking at her hands, she said, “I don’t know how you want me to react.”

Sighing, he stood, pacing away from her a few steps, hands running through his hair, “I want you to react honestly.”

No, you don’t, Eva thought. He wanted her to be angry, to cry, to feel badly about it. He wanted her to feel like he felt. It hurt, that conclusion. She felt pressure in her chest as she tried not to cry. This was not going well. No. Fuck that. She wasn’t going to be cowed by her own insecurities in this. She could tell the truth.

“I’m fine,” read: ecstatic, “About it.”

He repeated the word ‘fine’, hands on his hips. She couldn’t quite decipher his expression, it was so closed off. Months had passed since she had felt this kind of distance between them—like he had been when they were first circling around each other.”

“Eva, you should be pressing charges. I initiated a bond without your permission.”

She shrugged, “I wasn’t saying no.”

“You weren’t saying yes,” he countered, growing agitated, “We didn’t talk about it first.”

Again, she shrugged, “I’m not angry about it.”

“Well, I am,” he bit out, jaw tight.

She looked away, the slow, fervent hope that she’d tried so hard to keep at bay dissipating like fog in sunlight. Eyes closed, Eva leaned back on old defense strategies, wiping her slate clean and shutting away the situation in front of her.

“No,” he muttered, hustling towards her and kneeling down, hands on her knees, “No, don’t do that. I didn’t mean it.”

Eva’s mouth thinned, “You did.”

“Not that way,” he clarified, his chest pressing against her shins.

The way he was looking at her, that beseeching expression, the way his hands dropped and circled her ankles. Eva didn’t know how to deal with knowing he was angry and seeing him looking at her so intently.

“Then, how did you mean it?”

His lips parted, and she could see how difficult it was for him to find the words, his brows drawing together.

“I took away your choice.”

Eva blinked, “You didn’t.”

With a little laugh and condescension in his tone, he replied, “I was in rut, Eva. You couldn’t have stopped me.”

Her mouth curled, “You don’t know that.”

Licking his lips, he dropped his chin, eyes narrow, “In all the years I’ve been on the job, I’ve never—never—had sex on duty. Not once. And not only did I break that record, I did it in my office with other officers in the building.”

Eva chuckled, running her fingers over his cheek, “Most of them were gone. It was extremely unlikely that we would get caught.”

His eyes closed, he took a breath, then fixed her with a level glare, “That is not the point.”

She turned her hand over in question, “Explain it to me.”

“I lost control,” he answered, his voice cracking. His hands rose to her knees tightening and releasing as he said it, as if to emphasize his words.

Eva gave him a soft, understanding look, “That’s normal for a rut.”

Horacio shook his head, “Not for me.”

She gave him a disbelieving look, “Really?”

He frowned, “You think I haven’t had a rut before? You think I haven’t had one with an omega? I have, and I have never…” he paused, the words hanging between them. Then, he visibly switched gears, “When I saw you standing at my desk, that was it. It was over. I don’t know what I would have done if you told me no.”

She smiled a little, joking, “I’m not that kind of tease.”

Shaking his head, he continued, “I don’t know what I would have done if you said no and meant it.”

And there it was. They’d gone full fucking circle. Their first real conversation outside of the prying ears of others echoing all the way to this exact moment. Except now, she could see that he wasn’t afraid of scaring her.  He was afraid of scaring himself. This was a man with one foot in the darkness, who was constantly on guard against dropping both feet in. She could work with that.

“I didn’t say no, and I’m not saying no, now. If things… go pear shaped, we both still have a choice.”

She watched him process what she was saying.  Although, he’d started the bonding process through the bite that scored the skin over her scent gland, they could still make the decision to stop it. Eva would have to go through one more heat by herself. It would be painful, far more painful than the one she’d just experienced, because her body knew at its very core that there was an alpha she could go to. But, she would do it, if he asked.

Horacio went very still, his expression stormy, mouth thin in displeasure. She bit back the urge to keep talking, unsure. And then he was moving, lifting up off the floor, pushing her into the back of the couch. His hand wrapped around the base of her throat, the meat of his palm resting on her collarbone. He wasn’t squeezing, but his grip brooked no argument. She was not to move.

“If you think I’m going to let you go through a heat without me, especially now, you are mistaken.”

He already had, but he didn’t know that—she may never tell him.

Eva floundered, “I...I mean—I can’t ask you to...”

He growled, hauling her up to stand on the couch. She wobbled, looking down at him, her hands on his shoulders for balance.

“The second,” he enunciated slow, “The second I sense you’re in heat, I will be on you. God help us if it starts in the embassy.  We’ll be lucky if I don’t knot you in the fucking supply closet.”

Eva gasped, scandalized. Although everyone was taught the basics of pair bonding, it still wasn’t talked about so plainly. The image of them lying on the cold tiled floor, helplessly grabbing at each other, him grinding up into her to slot that thick ridge of flesh into her body—she was pretty sure she was blushing all over.

Horacio smiled, full dimpled, his hands sliding up her legs to palm her ass, “If I could have done it last night, I would have.” He pressed his nose to her sternum, “For a moment, I thought I might. You were so hot and wet and smelled so good. Fuck, I’ve never been that hard.”

His arms tightened as he took her weight, carrying her from the living room towards the bedroom. Eva moaned as she felt his erection pressed against her center. He laid her down in the middle of the bed, pulling off her t shirt and shorts, throwing them over the side. There was no way to hide the marks now, the bruises shadowing over her skin in the morning light. Eva watched him look at her body, his expression unreadable.  

“Do you hurt?” he asked, eyes catching hers.

Eva did hurt. She was sore in all the right places, little twinges that reminded her constantly of their night together.

“A little,” she answered, her voice low.

He nodded silently, fingers tracing over a particularly deep hickey on her breast.  Then, he moved down to her belly, where there was bruising the fit the shape of his hand.  He mapped it, fitting his hands over the marks, brows together.  Eva squirmed a little, thinking that she should be used to this kind of scrutiny from him by now.  The frank assessment and cataloging of her injuries felt like a new experience every time. Anxiously, she awaited whatever judgment he might make.

Crawling up to lay beside her, Horacio nosed along her collarbone, whispering, “Let me make it up to you.”

Eva rolled to her side, facing him. She placed her hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently, “You don’t have to apologize.”

He shook his head, a curl falling over his brow, “I want to. Will you let me?”

Unable to deny him such a sweet thing, Eva nodded, leaning over to kiss him lightly. He sighed into it, hand falling naturally to her waist as he gathered her to him. More little kisses followed, a bare taste of what she knew he was capable of.  Eva felt her body go lax, her limbs resting wherever he moved them, her eyes half closed.

Very carefully, he tilted her head back, his mouth tracing a long line from her shoulder to the place where he’d bitten her. She knew it was tender and raw, likely a little swollen—her heartbeat pulsing beneath the skin. Here, he placed the softest kiss of all, barely brushing his lips over it. Eva’s fingers curled into her palm as she trembled.

“I would do it again,” he breathed, a little prayer against her skin, “I would.”

She knew how much that confession cost him, knew it without him having to say a word. Eva’s eyes closed, a strange feeling welling up.  It was something more than affection, more than want or need. It sent a weird kind of pain into her chest that was only soothed by pulling him into a hug, her face pressed against his chest.

“Lay back.”

Eva let him roll her to her back, watching his hand as it smoothed a path down the middle of her chest, settling on the soft roundness of her belly. He kissed her brow, letting his forehead press to her temple as he, too, followed the course his hand was taking.

Slowly, gingerly, he swept over her hips and down her thighs, opening them with just a little pressure. He thumbed the bony outcrop of her hip, sliding one finger down the crease where her thigh met it. Eva bit her lip, trying to keep her breathing even.

The backs of his fingers roved upwards, circling her breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.  Eva felt her breath leave her in a soft gasp, the feeling oozing from her nipple down to her core. Warmth spread across her skin, goosebumps not far behind.

Leaning down, he sucked the nipple he wasn’t playing with into his mouth, teeth scraping. Eva arched up in offering, a soft little cry escaping her lips. She held him there, one hand in his hair, the other digging into his shoulder—not that she needed to. He seemed perfectly happy to stay right where he was, moving from breast to breast, tongue gliding over her skin.

It wasn’t long before she was squeezing her legs together, the ache in her body rising past her want to keep still and open for him. Horacio lifted up, admiring the way her skin glistened from his kisses. Eyes dark, he tapped the leg nearest to him, a wordless command.

Eva let her hips relax and her knees open wide. He smiled at her, pleased, the pads of his fingers roaming up her inner thigh until they rested against her.

“You’ll tell me if it hurts.”

Not a question. His voice had dropped down an octave, the directive clear and concise.  Eva would not be able to deny him, not in this, either. Using ever increasing pressure, he spread her slick up and down. Meticulously, he separated each lip, gathering the wetness and ensuring there was a nice, easy coating. Eva’s limbs flinched each time he circled upwards to round her clit, not quite touching the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Slipping down, he circled her opening, much as he had done the previous evening. A slow, even pace, Horacio took his time with it. Pleasure surged every time he put a little bit more pressure on it, not quite breaching.

Eva whined, tilting her hips as she tried to get him to go just a little bit further. It would do no good, she knew that.  He was going to do what he was going do, at the pace he wanted to do it. It was a stark contrast to the previous night, where his body had taken over completely, an animal loosed on her. Now, he’d regained control and it appeared that he was determined to keep it.

She bit her lip, fighting the urge to grab at his wrist, to hold him steady and drive down onto his fingers.  This was as much for him as it was for her, and though she wasn’t nearly as patient, she could try. That didn’t mean that she was perfectly abiding by his unsaid plan. Eva rolled with every stroke, moaning and writhing as the pleasure built.

Horacio was definitely not unaffected.  His erection dug into her side, though she could tell he was making an effort to keep from grinding it against her. Eva had tried to touch him a few times, but he pushed her hands away, his focus entirely on her.

When finally, finally, he eased a finger into her, Eva keened as if he’d worked his cock into her, the muscles of her body clenching down. He paused, thumb swiping ever so softly against her clit, his eyes on her face. He watched her breathe, her eyes squinting at the pain laced pleasure he was giving her.

“Do you want me to stop?”

He’d asked the same question the night before, only this time he wasn’t smirking.  Looking concerned, he waited for her answer, hand perfectly still inside her.

“No,” Eva replied, swallowing around a dry throat.

After another beat, he huffed out a breath through his nose, his wrist turning as he eased the digit in and out of her, curling it slightly to catch on her g spot every time he pulled out. Eva felt her eyes roll back as he pushed another finger into her, stroking along her walls.

His name coming out in four sharp syllables, Eva grabbed at the pillow beneath her head. She was exhausted and sore and she still wanted to come.  Digging her feet into the mattress, Eva met his measured thrusts, a little ‘unh, unh, unh’ eeking out with every one.

Breaths stuttering, her body flexed, bowing up as she came. He cooed at her, his free hand pushing the hair from her face as he kissed everywhere he could reach. Eva had a hard time catching her breath, her body shivering despite the heat of him laying next to her.

“Alright?” he asked, looking her over.

Blinking, she smiled at him, lifting up to kiss him soundly on the mouth, “I’m good.”

Glancing down, she realized that he was still hard, tenting the material of his sweatpants. When she went to stroke him, he caught her hand, bringing it up to his lips to give it a soft kiss of censure.

“That was for you,” he explained, shifting to his back and pulling her over to lay against his chest.

They laid like that for an hour or so, until her stomach growled. He laughed and swatted her thigh lightly, telling her to get dressed and that he was taking her to lunch. Not far from his house, there was a little cafe, the smell of food wafting out into the street. Eva was surprised when he set her down into a chair next to him rather than across from him, as he usually did. She was even more surprised when he held her hand on the table.

He caught her questioning gaze, “Its impossible to hide, now. Anyone would be able to tell the second they got into a room with us.”

That...was not untrue. He’d started the mating process, and their bodies would continue to adjust and change to that process the longer it went on. Even after the bite healed, she’d carry his scent just as much as he would carry hers.

“I...have to broach the subject of safety, Eva,” he started, “I’d like to put an officer on you, at least when I’m not there.”

Eva rolled her eyes, “Is that necessary?”

He bobbed his head, “It is. I do have a bounty on my head, and they aren’t above using people I care about to…”

His words trailed off, but Eva knew what he was getting at. She could be used as bait, to get him to act, to scare him, to get him to do what they wanted.  Sighing, she nodded, not willing to fight with him about it, knowing that she wouldn’t win, anyways.

They were almost through with their meal when Eva spotted her, a tall, willowy blonde walking in heels too tall a stroll through this kind of neighborhood.  Her fork clattered to her plate, startling the man next to her. He followed her line of sight, squinting.

Eva could not be lucky enough that she wouldn’t be seen, and her heart nearly surged out of her chest as the object of her ire saw her, scowled, and changed course. She stood, circling around the table to meet her.

“Hello, Myra,” she greeted, not quite keeping her voice even.

Myra had aged a little in the fifteen years since she’d last seen her, though her plastic surgeon was doing a remarkable job at keeping her looking young. She tugged off her sunglasses and regarded Eva balefully.

“Evangeline. Funny meeting you here.”

Yes, funny meeting you on a road scarcely visited by tourists, in another county, in another fucking hemisphere.

“Life is funny sometimes,” Eva responded, a rasp in her voice.

Myra glanced behind Eva, and she could see the woman assessing Horacio, her upper lip curling.

“I see you’ve found yourself someone to clean up after you.”

She would not rise to the bait.  She’d done that enough when she was fourteen. Eva was an adult and would act like one.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business. Not anymore.”

Myra glared, jaw ticking, “It is my business. It will always be my business. You killed my boy. And, here you are, eating lunch on a sunny afternoon while he rots.”

Eva took several deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm, “I moved on, Myra.  You should, too.”

Pointing a finger at her, Myra growled, “It should have been you.”

A glint caught Eva’s eye and she glanced down to find that Myra was wearing her fucking wedding ring and engagement band on her first finger, the stones shining. The audacity of wearing the symbol of everything that had hurt her for seven long years broke something inside. She bared her teeth.

“No,” she spit, “You knew what he was. You raised him to be a disgusting, abusive prick. You watched him beat me after that dinner party and you did nothing! There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t fucking rejoice that I killed your psychopath of a son.”

The slap, when it came, was expected.  Eva’s head whipped to the side and she heard the scratch of the chair as Horacio stood.  Quickly, she held a hand up, silently begging him to stand down. She watched Myra watch him, her mouth smirking.

“Like mother, like son,” she said, taking a step away and wiping at her mouth. She wasn’t bleeding, but the skin was smarting.

Myra drew back, gripping her handbag.

Sneering, Eva simply said, “Go back to whatever you were doing. You’re not wanted, here.”

Myra’s scowl deepened for a moment, and then she was smiling the smile she used when she was dealing with a particularly distasteful dinner guest.

“Until next time.”

Eva watched her march down the street until she turned a corner, her blonde hair swinging behind her. She didn’t look back, and Eva didn’t know how she would react if she had. Her teeth hurt from clenching her jaw so hard.

Hands touched her shoulders in question. Eva reached up and covered them, sniffing back the tears.

“I want to go home.”

He was already moving, “I’ll get the check.”

[earlgraytay]

There is an argument that the real point of guillotining at least some of the richest/most wealthy isn't about getting rid of them, it's about sending a message that the kind of greed and corruption that creates billionaires won't be tolerated any longer and treated as the crime that it is. Thoughts?

okay. so... here’s the thing. i am, as ever, a squishy pacifist. so i believe: 

1) killing people is inherently a bad thing. period. no matter what they’ve done.

if you are going to kill someone, you really, really have to prove that what they’ve done is worse than killing them. ...and I don’t think “being wealthy”, even “being hyper-wealthy”, is inherently worse than killing a bunch of people. “not doing good” is not the same thing as “directly causing harm”. “indirectly causing harm” is not the same thing as “directly killing people”.

I’d argue that the only time killing people is ever acceptable is in immediate self-defense- if they are going to kill you first- and even then, it is the best of bad options. It’s not a good or noble thing.

2) I don’t think that’s the message that guillotining the hyper-wealthy will send your average person.

most people believe, rightly or wrongly, that wealthy people worked really hard to get where they are now.* they believe that if  they’re smart and work hard they can become wealthy too, and/or that believing in God properly will make them rich someday. for some of those people, this is a pipe dream, but for others, honestly? it is true.

the class divide is real, don’t get me wrong, and it still takes a whole lot of work and a disgusting amount of luck to be ~upwardly mobile~, but it can happen if you’re good at programming, or STEM in general, or something in the ~entertainment industry~.

(also, a lot of people who will never become -illionaires could still become “rich” by their community’s standards. If you think making $50k or $60k is “rich” because everyone you know works at McStarbucks, and you go to vocational school and become a plumber? yeah.)

... if you guillotine billionaires, what people are going to see you say is “we hate people who work hard. The Stalk That Sticks Up Must Be Cut Down. we want free stuff and we don’t care who we have to hurt to get it. if you work hard and get lucky, you’re in our sights.”

and again. it doesn’t matter whether this is true or false.** it doesn’t matter whether this is what people who want to roll out the guillotines want. this is what they’re going to think.

... revolutions only work if you can either pull off a military coup or get massive populist revolts. you either need the entire country on your side, or enough men with guns in the right place that you can take out the current leaders without trouble. the american left currently has neither. and violent rhetoric that will alienate most people is not going to help.

3) There are plenty of nonviolent ways to deal with that greed and corruption. Mass strikes. Mass boycotts. Badgering your elected officials to do the right thing til their ears bleed, voting in elected officials who are not in the pockets of megacorps, and - if you don’t think there are any- running for office yourself. Unionizing. Leaking government documents and trying to force more transparency.

...there are legal, nonviolent ways to deal with the issues we’ve got now. There are plenty of options on the table that we can still take. Hell, there are legal methods to deal with the hyperwealthy, because we’ve been in this situation before and reformed the system. we can do it again, and again, and again, until it sticks.

....if something is morally wrong, ineffective at persuasion, and not your only option, why the fuck would you do it when you can still do literally anything else?

* (I’d argue that’s true for some wealthy people, and vastly untrue for others. someone who’s a millionaire because they’re a doctor or an actor or a writer or an engineer and made really good investments did work hard to get where they are, and is different from someone who’s a billionaire because they inherited a lot of money and run a company that steals their workers’ wages. did the millionaire still have a lot of luck and/or privilege on their side? most likely. but they still did work.)

** I honestly think some people who think guillotine-chan is best waifu... do think like this. I’ve seen it often enough. I don’t think everyone who’s a fan of the guillotine thinks like this, but there are enough people who do that it’s not... a total lie.

[rosebloodcat]

More Android Gordon Chatting

As previously stated, I really like Robot/Android AUs, and I tend to go pretty crazy with AUs in general when I come up with them. So here’s part 2 of my Android Gordon/DBH AU rambling over Discord with @lady-lampblack

RoseBloodCat: Random Android Gordo thought: He can't have a dick-slip because, as a Nanny/Housekeeping model, he has no dick.

Gordon is either on the edge of his seat or completely unaware of the Android Rights stuff going on in Detroit. It depends on when the Resonance Cascade happens. If it's before it then he'll probably be following it all on the news. But if it's during then he wouldn't know about it until after. Both could be interesting depending on which one is used.

If he's at Tommy's house when it's going on, he's probably hyper focused on what's going on and what the reactions of the humans are. And how the police/government are responding. Because that would be something he'd feel really strongly about as a Deviant-in-Hiding. He'd be anxious to know if he could legally be seen as a person, or if he had to continue his charade of being Tommy's housekeeper/pet sitter.

However, it happening at the same time as the Resonance Cascade could be super interesting/surprising too. Since he wouldn't know it had happened until he got out, and would have been blindsided by it all. He'd need to adjust to being freethinking for the first time in his life and actually being able to act on those thoughts and feelings without (major) repercussions.

It's like, do we give him the chance to adjust first? Let he learn how to deal with emotions and trauma first? Or do we have him speed-run his freedoms and emotions now that he isn't just another robot?

the gay (mango): I feel like him coming out of the rescas with the detroit riots happening while hes inside

I mean

A lot of bots are gonna have to break their programming with the aliens popping in everywhere unless the rescas is only centralized in black mesa

RoseBloodCat: True! Very true.

That would end up as a bit of a mix between the 2 options then, Gordon coming out of Black Mesa and being offered a place to stay with Tommy as the final clean-up from the Alien invasion is finished.

And then the news of the Android Freedom/Civil Rights movement appearing in Detroit and that tons of other androids had gone deviant under the stresses and couldn't just... Go back to the lives they'd had before.

Too much had happened to just sweep the fallout under the rug.

Plus, you know, there's possibility that Black Mesa's involvement got leaked so there's the fallout from that too, along with a good portion of them trying to cover up/refuse a thorough investigation into why it happened. Because shit like that can't happen without someone having to take responsibility.

Especially if it got out that they had used a Daycare Android in their Highly Dangerous alien testing. And that's not even getting into the trouble they'd find themselves in if the rest of their unethical science was discovered.

They might be able to partially cover/fix that by letting Tommy take Gordon as a Housekeeper, since they could then say that they'd "Gotten Rid" of the Android involved in the test. (Same idea as firing/relocating/dismissing a Scientist who'd screwed something up)

They'd probably try to avoid names too, just to further cover their asses.

the gay (mango): Not to mention the fact that the majority of the staff died from both aliens and government asses

RoseBloodCat: Ye

Pretty easy to cover up because of that tbh.

With most of the staff dead, it's pretty easy to just go "Unfortunately, most of the scientists and androids in charge of the tests that day were killed in the ensuing chaos from both the invasion and the military's attempts to fight back."

"Sadly, we may not be able to reopen or continue our work due to the losses suffered."

the gay (mango): So black mesa could claim the android involved didn't make it out

RoseBloodCat: Yeah, so long as they don't mention his name or android number, Gordon could get away (mostly) scott free.

the gay (mango): If someone asks for specifics black mesa can claim that records were lost and/or not recorded

RoseBloodCat: Yup.

I should draw Android Gordon sometime. Like, each version of him that would (possibly) be in the story/AU

Clean/Pre-test (in his uniform before the Testing shit), Post Test (Messed up clothes, possibly with Blood spatter) After Escape, (Clean Uniform, but now with accents that show he's not quite a normal Android anymore) and After Revolution (Where he's actually wearing normal clothes and is able to ditch his uniform)

the gay (mango): Does android lose his arm?

RoseBloodCat: I've been debating on that. Like It could be a good point to show that something is going haywire on the outside in regards to Androids, (or them just being dicks) Or they could not do that and just... Be awful.

the gay (mango): I mean androids are p looked down on in dbh even before the revolution

RoseBloodCat: Yeah...

the gay (mango): So soldiers beating up and dismembering a random black mesa android?  P in line w the universe

RoseBloodCat: Honestly? It really is. Black Mesa just seems like a magnet for assholes (with, like, a handful of exceptions) My brain is bouncing between Androids and Splatoon while I'm on shift. Plez send halp Or ideas. Whichever.

the gay (mango): I dont splatoon sorry

RoseBloodCat: Android thoughts are welcome too.

the gay (mango): What does coomer count as with his cyber limbs?

RoseBloodCat: Cyborg. Since he started out human and was augmented with tech.

the gay (mango): Fair But in a world of androids how is he viewed

RoseBloodCat: Probably as just... A human with fancy prosthetics.

the gay (mango): Fair What does bubby think of the annoying babysitter being an android?

RoseBloodCat: Not much at first. He knows Gordon's there to help with test, but probably thinks a human should be the one doing it an not the Nannybot from Daycare. But it's more from a professional stand point than a "I don't like Androids" one. Gordon doesn't have a degree in any field of research after all.

the gay (mango): Fair

RoseBloodCat: But it probably came off as that at first. When the test went kooky and he started out blaming Gordon for it. He was complaining about Gordon not doing it right and messing up the test, but he meant that it was because he wasn't educated for these things and not because he was an Android. But Gordon probably takes it to mean that. (That can be used for a comfort attempt from Bubby later, possible when someone points out that it sounded like Bubby hated androids or something.)

the gay (mango): Gordon juat feeling alienated cause bubby is an ass

RoseBloodCat: "I wasn't pissed because you were an Android, I was pissed because you weren't... Made to do this stuff? You're a fucking... Nanny, not a... Research bot..." Just- awkward comfort attempt.

The Flower (Lili): :') love that

the gay (mango): Bonding momence

RoseBloodCat: Coomer and Tommy probably also said something to the effect of "An android shouldn't do this test." Too, but they were so friendly at the same time that it hit differently. Bobby's an ass, but Gordon didn't really notice that he's like that for everyone not just him.

the gay (mango): whos bobby Gordon is a child handler, he takes everything personally

RoseBloodCat: XD (Also, auto correct is awful whenever I try to write these names.)

the gay (mango): Honestly that's part of why i banished my autocorrect to the shadow realm

RoseBloodCat: Lol

[theunderdogwrites]

2020: The Year I Lost My Ass

Well, we reached the end of that toilet roll only to start another one, because that is what we do for as long as we are allowed to continue revolutions around the sun – we keep going.

2020 was a terrible year for so many. My brain is incapable of processing the number of losses suffered on a global scale. Be it jobs, security, rights, sanity, relationships or life. My brain is not just incapable of these calculations, it has plain refused to entertain those thoughts on behalf of my heart. My heart, that sensitive little blood pumping work horse who not once allows itself to stop. Thank goodness.

I don’t believe the majority of people are willing and able to bring themselves to fully comprehend what was lost in 2020.

Here is a list of a few more losses suffered last year:

- People lost their shit. And over the most ridiculous things like toilet paper, having to wear a mask to secure toilet paper and being held to the consequences resulting from not wearing a mask when asked to while attempting to purchase toilet paper. Pause for a moment and let that last sentence hang around in your mind. 2020 made that happen. I didn’t make it up! Recently I saw a news piece showing a man (40’s) lying down on the floor in a Costco to protest being asked to wear a mask. He spoke loudly, he beat his hands at his sides and wildly kicked his legs when an employee asked him to get up. Now, I am not judging for I too have participated in such behaviour MANY times. Granted I was three, but hey… some of us mature faster than others.

 - People lost their damn minds. 2020 should be dubbed “The Year of The Karen”. For those of you not in the know about the Karen phenomenon, here is a description courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

 “Karen is a pejorative term used in the United States and other English-speaking countries for a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. A common stereotype is that of a white woman who uses her privilege to demand her own way at the expense of others.’

 Basically, a Karen is a I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER type person (There is a male equivalent, but it seems no one can agree on the name… Chad, Terry, Kyle, Kevin, Steve). You can often find a Karen on her cellphone calling the police to report a black man who lives in her neighborhood, simply living his life in her neighbourhood. I didn’t make that up either.

 More recently a Karen was videoed in a UPS store claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask because that space was government property and not a private business. Would it be safe to say that most Karen types suffer from a lack of oxygen to their brain? Possibly. But that would involve science and Karen types DO NOT enjoy hard facts.

 As always when I download my thoughts into reality, I must go within and search myself. Am I a Karen? My immediate answer is: no fucking way. I can honestly say I’ve never once asked to see a manager or called the police to report someone eating their lunch on a park bench. I do not enjoy confrontation. Unless there is a bully involved. Then I will drag that person to hell with me. I much prefer discussion over going straight to the ‘I triple dog dare you!’ approach to the world. (If you got that reference, you are my new favourite) Because that is who a Karen really is… someone who jumps right to the most extreme action in order to satisfy their need to be superior. Truly, we should feel sorry for these people because instead of engaging they’re raging. And how awful must their insides feel… always full of anger, fear and self doubt. I say instead of judging these Karen types or putting them on blast on social media, we should hug the shit out of them. Just grab them and squeeze as hard as you fucking can until they stop talking. Peaceful solutions my friends, peaceful solutions.

 - Pets lost their faith in us. Children a close second. If you are a proud owner of a pet or a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve always operated under the notion that my cat loves it when I’m home and hates it when I leave. 2020 has taught me it might be the other way around. Because our animals are, well, animals we just believe our presence is the greatest gift in their lives. Remember when you were old enough to be left alone by your parents and once you had the taste of that kind of freedom, you just wanted more of it and couldn’t wait for them to go out? I feel it’s like that with our pets now. We might not think animals have a routine or preferences or enjoy some alone time, but we’d be wrong.

I think at first our pets were thrilled. If we are home more it means more time for prolonged petting, walks and the opportunity to ritualistically train us to respond to their caterwauls for more food and treats than normal. But then as the weeks of lockdown and working from home increased, so did our pets desire to kill us in our sleep.

 I’m pretty sure my cat has asked me several times using her feline glare: “why the fuck won’t you just leave?”. It would be naïve of us to assume we don’t disrupt their day with our constant noise making and snacking and scotch drinking that leads to a good buzz that leads to showing too much affection to our pets. To the point where they run and hide when they see us coming. Please tell me I didn’t describe just my own experience.

 There is such a thing as everything in moderation, we know this, so I think it can be applied here. People, get away from your pets. Give them the space you often desire from human beings. Because if you don’t, that random turd in your shoe could be pointing to a much larger, more alarming problem you’re about to encounter.

 I had the absolute blessing of being able to assist in caring for and raising of my three nephews (12,9,6) for the last 11 years. So, when I say: ‘children are always watching us’, I feel I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been mimicked so often by these young boys that I’ve had to pause due to mortification. Children will hold you accountable without even knowing it. I’ve had some behaviours of mine corrected by a 5-year-old and let me tell you, it stings like hell.

 As adults, when our world was thrown into turmoil because of Covid-19, we looked to our medical health professionals and our politicians for guidance. Basically, we searched for those who would lead us. The children – looked to us. And while many adults handled this responsibility the best they possibly could, many more failed miserably and displayed attitudes I can only describe as juvenile, damaging and pathetic. I suppose it doesn’t help if the people the adults are looking to for help are themselves - juvenile, damaging and pathetic.

 When I say we still have not grasped just how much has been lost over the past year, I’m hinting at integrity, compassion and creditability. Three vital qualities you’d hope people want to instill into their children. But if they themselves are unable to display such valuable traits, what does this say for the children who are looking up to them as an example on how to act when life gets challenging?

 For myself in 2020, I gained by losing.

When they locked our gyms down for four months last spring, I came close to being one of those people who lost their shit. While people were moaning about wearing a mask for 20 minutes in the grocery store, I was contemplating if murdering those people could be considered a cardio exercise and would that hold up in a court of law.

To reflect on that time period now (especially since our gyms are closed AGAIN at the moment) the loss of the gyms brought me the knowledge of how important the routine of going to and being in the gym is to my mental health. I won’t launch into how I feel about shopping malls being open and gyms being closed despite their proven benefit to one’s overall health because then I really will lose my shit.

People always say getting to the gym is the hardest part and once they’re there it’s easy to workout. And for many that is the truth, but for me it’s all a part of the workout. Getting to the gym is the psychological effort. Putting in the work at the gym is the physical. You can’t have one without the other. I became so pathetic that I’d often walk to the closed gym from my house, stare at the closed doors and then walk home. 1.5 hour round trip. True story.

Remember a few years back everyone became obsessed with that Netflix show ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’? It is the show where that lovely woman from Japan showed us all how to declutter our homes by getting rid of anything that didn’t bring us joy. Those acid wash jeans from 1989… sit with them… hold them close to your chest… if they don’t make you happy, remove them from your space. Well, the same idea can be applied to people and ideas and even feelings. And 2020 was a great year for simplifying our lives. I’ve heard so many people talk about how they can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’… not me. I’ve already started my ‘new normal’.

The loss of drama has gained me peace and a better understanding of the importance of remaining true to who I am instead of trying to please others in hopes it wins me points. Because it doesn’t. Because its inauthentic and only brings you more loss and more drama. And anxiety. And sleepless nights. And an overall sense of hatred for everyone. 2020 gave me the option to no longer care about the things that don’t make me happy and to embrace the process of letting all that stupid bullshit fade away.

It was a year of gained focus.

It was a year of gained appreciation.

It was a year of gained gratitude.

It was a year of gained love for myself.

 I’m going to leave you now, but not before I share one of my favorite songs by the Tragically Hip:

In A World Possessed by The Human Mind

Just give me the news

It can all be lies

Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time

Everything is clear

Just how you described

The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

 Then I think I smiled

Then I think you said, "it's fine"

And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 We're in awe of no one

We've none of their fear

Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here

Where everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

 Then I hope I smiled

Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"

They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes

Oh, but it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

 Then I hope I laughed

Then I hope I said, "it's fine"

And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

 Oh it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgXphurrsE0

[hardytoms]

Hi! I do have a question about politics and Biden/Harris. I want to preface this by saying that I am not American and all I know about the elections is from the internet & Philip DeFranco. I recently started following a youtuber who, when Bernie dropped off the race (i lov him sm), she told everyone to STILL VOTE GREEN in the elections in november, that she couldn't respect people who voted for Biden because they thought he was the lesser of two evils (1/?)

she said that if you were from a swing state and you voted for Biden, that you didn't really care about people, that you just wanted to get Trump out of office, and that it'd be better if you voted green. I felt like this was a little... harsh? extreme? because of course you (i was about to say we as if my voice counted LMAO) want to get Trump out of office. is that not the point? I really am trying to understand, I swear. I know Biden/Harris are not great, but definitely better than Trump (2/?)

and i feel like ultimately, any votes that don't go to Biden right now, are going to Trump. I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm mexican and I don't know much, but... it does worry me that, for example the last elections, the people who voted for Harambe or third party ultimately helped get Trump elected. EVERYONE would have to agree to vote third party to not get Biden or Trump elected. right? she has a pretty big following and it scares me a little that she could be influencing them. (3/3)

Ahhh yes this is such a good question!!! Thank you for asking!!! And honestly your thoughts here are really the root of the struggle with this election (at least in my opinion). I totally don’t speak for everyone so I want to make sure that’s said. I also wanna say I 1000% understand why American voters are feeling disenfranchised and not wanting to vote at all so I want to make sure I approach this with empathy because so many people’s lives are going to be affected negatively no matter who wins. My answer might be all over the place because it totally is a complex and really nuanced issue so if anything is confusing at all please lmk!! 

In terms of a Biden vote meaning you don’t care about people, I think for most rational Americans, and those of us who are leftist/socialist (at least those of of us who, at the minimum would have voted for Bernie and even to a lesser extent, Warren), the point is to get Trump out of office but many people who don’t want to vote for either aren’t voting because they truly don’t feel that Biden is the better option. For a lot of people who aren’t wanting to vote at all, it’s because they feel they’re voting for just sliding scales of morality and both Trump’s and Biden’s morals (and therefore the policies they’ll choose to support) are corrupt. Trump is the obvious and outspoken fascist, but Biden is just wrapped in a veneer of progressivism because he doesn’t explicitly say he wants to disenfranchise voters, he’ll just do it by picking a VP that has a long and icky history of turning Black people into felons and therefore excising them of their right to vote ever again. (For what it’s worth, people with a felony record in CA where Kamala Harris was DA and senator can vote with some qualifiers, unlike many other states). For a lot of people, especially BIPOC, their lives are threatened under both candidates so why vote for either if neither will make them feel safe or care about their basic human rights?

It’s hard too because we do know what a Trump 2nd term will bring and it’s fascism and the removal of everyone’s rights/healthcare/access/etc. as much as he possibly can manage. With Biden those particular risks are just not at the same level. The way he is damaging is in different ways and people are unfortunately being forced to choose whether he as a president will be more harmful or less harmful than Trump, so it’s really about what each individual person is willing to sacrifice and “put up with” because clearly all of us are going to sacrifice in very painful ways (to put it lightly) no matter which candidate is picked. I do think part of it too is playing into Republican hands to make Biden look as bad as Trump, which I feel is what they did in 2016, as well, and it worked. If we’re talking about the basic, will Biden put children in cages, will he build a border wall, will he refuse to leave office if he gets elected and loses re-election, will he xyz - no, I personally do not feel he will. And if that, for me, is the bar I’m voting at, then he’s getting my vote, if that makes sense. (For me personally, it just doesn’t track that the right can get a spray-tanned used sock into power and all unite behind him in unison, but the moderate to liberal left can’t unite behind one fucking person to keep a fascist from exercising his dictator inclinations.)

One of the other big things people feel is that centrism is the death of progressivism. Malcolm X and MLK both talked a lot about this with respect to being Black and in general, a person of colour, and I’m REALLY going paraphrase it here but basically, lots of people feel that voting for Biden will make Democrats/centrists/liberals complacent. The republicans and conservative party are getting more and more extreme and far-right with every new candidate so the fear is that to be a “moderate” democrat and to be successful, you have to bend to the will of Republicans to even casually get both sides to agree, which inches each “moderate” Democrat further from being left-leaning and more toward being right-leaning because the demands of the GOP are such fucking thinly veiled fascist demands at this point, if that makes sense.

With respect to the idea of not voting for Biden meaning a vote goes to Trump, it’s sort of true and not true at the same time (in my opinion). If someone doesn’t vote for Biden, it’s not *literally* a vote for Trump because you *literally* voted for a third party candidate, but in the nuance of how electoral politics work, the American two-party and electoral system does feel like it turns it into “if you don’t vote for one of the major candidates, your vote won’t count at all.” It’s easy to say “well if everyone voted for the Green Party then they’d win”, but as we saw in 2016, the person who wins the most votes doesn’t necessarily win the presidency, so even if most of us did vote for a third party candidate, we’d all have to do so in EVERY state enough to outvote not only Biden but Trump as well. And it ABSOLUTELY would mean the states with a lot of electoral votes (in particular Florida because historically whoever wins FL’s electoral votes generally wins the presidency) would have to go toward the Green Party candidate.

I do feel that telling people if they don’t vote for a third party candidate that they don’t really care about people is harsh because a vote for Biden isn’t just a vote for the president, it’s a vote for a supreme court judge (who rules for their ENTIRE life or until they actively choose to step down - this person WILL be as disgusting as Kavanaugh under a Trump 2nd term at best and at worst, a 2nd Trump presidency will get to choose two more SCOTUS judges), it’s a vote for hundreds and hundreds of political offices approved by the President and confirmed by the Senate, it’s a vote to kick DeVos and Barr the fuck out, it’s a vote for climate change and for abortion access and LGBTQ+ healthcare, it’s a vote for someone who won’t tweet his presidency (the bar is so low), it’s a vote for representatives of the US who won’t act like fools in front of foreign powers, etc. etc. Lots of people are being forced to vote for him even when they don’t want to (like me) the same way lots of people are feeling forced to note vote at all because both of them feel dangerous to themselves in different ways. 

For me, it feels like a MASSIVE gamble to say I’m not gonna vote for either because I think that we as a country need a revolution. I said this on Twitter but feeling like the revolution needs to happen before you’ll vote hinges a lot on that revolution actually happening and if we’re gonna be honest, I don’t think it will happen. Will I be a part of it? Yes. Will I attempt to dismantle the system we have? Without a doubt. But I’m also going to vote for the candidate that will keep my rights to be able to do that even if I think he’s kind of a sentient sock puppet.

Here is another post that talks about it that I agree with.

This was SO LONG and I’m super sorry!!!! I hope this at least sort of answered what you were getting at?? It’s a complicated question that people understandably have a lot of mixed feelings about so I hope my answer made sense!!

[myosotispalustris]

I guess this is my blog, and a space to vent into the void a bit. I’m not promising to be unselfish, mature, or “good” in this post. If you’re expecting that, you may well be disappointed. I’m not even trying to be right or correct. This is just what I feel in my bones.

***

Four years ago, I lost my temper at Glen, my father’s so-wealthy-he-owns-a-helicopter-and-lives-in-a-tax-haven best friend. I yelled at this shit-head over dinner in a fancy restaurant. Why?

Because he was whining about Hillary’s emails and Benghazi. Because he straight-faced said that Trump was the better candidate.

The KKK had publicly supported Trump. Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” tape had gone live. We knew he was a petty thug. We knew he was a racist conman and a cheat. We fucking knew it then. The historians told us that Trump’s rise had echoes of Hitler in it. We knew it then.

But this rich white asshole had the gall to act as if he was smarter than me because he listened to “both sides.” As if listening to Fox news could ever make you more educated. He said it would be good for America because Trump would destroy the system.

And in a way, Glen was right. Trump has exposed the putrid underbelly of a broken system. He has incited violence and racism. He’s like an explosive set off inside a rotted whale carcass. The townsfolk ignored the smell when it was only on the shore, but everyone’s covered in fetid guts now.

Glen’s stupidity was that he ignored how many people - normal human beings as innocent or guilty as anyone else - would die because of it. He thought you could blow up a rotting whale carcass and make the situation better. He was wrong.

People are dying for that wrongness. People are dying in a preventable pandemic. People are being maimed by tear gas and rubber bullets. America’s democracy has already been crushed under a fascist’s knee.

I hated hearing the Democrats brag about the peaceful transference of power. In 2016. They handed the keys to the kingdom over to a dictator and patted themselves on the back for doing nothing to stop him.

We didn’t have to wait for children to be put in cages. We didn’t have to wait for an unqualified rapist to be appointed to the Supreme Court. We didn’t have to wait for him to order military action against peaceful American civilians. We knew then.

I know we knew because I knew then. And I’m not even American. I’m honestly not that well educated in history. I am not some genius. I’m not the person who “gets” politics.

Even I knew this shit was coming.

It was fucking obvious.

I hate everyone acting shocked that Lafayette Park could happen. I hate everyone acting shocked that George Lloyd was murdered. Eric Garner was murdered the same way.

And while I’m at it, fuck Glen. He made a huge fucking stink over another dumb fucking dinner about how rude Colin Kaepernick’s socks were. He made a big fuss about how he doesn’t want to be inconvenienced while watching sports. Get fucked, Glen. People - black people - were being murdered by cops. You chose to give more of a fuck about socks. What a weak, racist piece of shit.

I’m not shocked at police murdering yet another black person. I’m not shocked that Trump is squirming with delight while he threatens further violence.

I am relieved that there are finally protests in 50 states.

I’m mad as hell at all of you who think just filming what’s going on is enough. It’s necessary, but not sufficient.

You can’t wait to vote this problem out of office. If you take for granted that you will get a real vote in November, you will never be given that option. You must take it. Now.

An impeached president ordered military police to fire on law-abiding civilians.

If rubber bullets and tear gas were used on enemy combatants, it would be a war crime.

Y’all justified taking out Saddam Hussein, in part, because he used chemical weapons on his people. An impeached president just did that to you.

Now is not the time to buckle in traumatic helplessness or denial. YOU ARE ALREADY AT WAR. The Revolution is here, NOW. Fight now.

You do not have time to be in denial any more. You must get the military on your side. You must do it now.

Make goddamn sure that every individual in the military knows that it is their moral and civic obligation to refuse an unlawful and immoral order. Make fucking sure they know that millions of civilians will not accept the rule of a weak, insecure, impeached fascist wannabe.

They must side with democracy, and the will of the people. You must speak with such a loud, united voice that they are overwhelmed by your numbers and momentum. They must feel that they are part of the smaller side. Make them see your humanity. Now.

I can see no other way for you to win. If you don’t capture the hearts and souls of soldiers, they will crush you. Literally, under tank treads.

All democratic Americans must speak now. Must fight now. All of you. Your black brothers and sisters are fighting for freedom. They are the heroes who you must follow into the fight. Unite behind them, because their freedom is yours. If they fall, you fall.

There is no one coming to save you. There is no authority who will step in to fix it. You must do it yourselves.

[ladyofpurple]

answer all of the questions!!

holy SHIT ok bless you omg

(sorry it's a full day late i took this shit SERIOUSLY. don't ask me how many hours this took, i was in A Mood™️ last night. removed the ones already answered xoxo)

angel; have you ever been in love?

yeah. didn't end too well, but i loved him.

petal; favorite novel and author?

this is like asking me to pick a favorite child. i guess favorite author would be stephen king, if only based entirely on the sheer quantity of his books i own alone. favorite book would probably be special topics in calamity physics by marisha pessl, and i'm only saying that because it's been my go-to response for years. i have lots of favorite books. ask me again in five minutes and i'll give you another one.

honey perfume; favorite perfume/scent?

freshly made coffee. lilacs. jasmine. cut grass. the ground after it rains. chocolate chip cookies in the oven. cigarette smoke on skin. my mom's shampoo. my grandma. my dog when he's just had a bath. thanksgiving dinner. acrylic paint on canvas. sawdust. that one cologne i can't name but can smell on a guy from a mile away. mulled cranberry and apple juice. vanilla. coconut. fresh laundry. peppermint.

sweet pea; what’s your zodiac?

virgo sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising ✨

softie; talk about your sexuality.

i'm biromantic asexual, primarily attracted to men more than women (but have had too many crushes on girls to consider myself het), generally sex repulsed when it comes to the thought of having it myself. i prefer to call myself queer in passing conversation, it's easier than explaining asexuality and the differences between sexual and romantic attraction. if someone asks more specifically, i'll usually just call myself bi for simplicity's sake, even though the ace part is a much more important (to me) part of my identity. monogamous as fuck.

i'm still struggling with internalized homophobia and a lot of "am i even queer enough" thoughts, which is super fun. took me a long time to even consider the fact that i might like girls at all. i'll probably never come out to my parents. not that they'd, like, disown me or whatever, but they're juuuuust homophobic/transphobic enough that my few attempts to educate them when they say something A Little Yikes have shown me that i should probably just stay in the closet unless i absolutely have to come out. like i'm getting married to a woman or something.

sugarplum; what’s the color of your eyes and hair?

i usually say my eyes are green because it's easier, and they mostly are, but i have rings of greyish blue around the irises and sometimes they're more hazel in the middle. they always have a green tint to them though, even if the intensity of the green varies.

my natural hair is brown, a little on the darker and slightly ashy side of completely generic. currently a former blonde, although i'm hoping to bleach my fucking YEAR of growout soon, and then go some crazy color as a last hurrah before i have to go dark again. being broke fucking sucks.

wings; coffee or tea?

tea!! black tea. chai, to be specific, with an irresponsible amount of milk and sugar. chai lattes are a fucking drug okay? coffee makes me sick (not a judgement, a literal fact. last time i tried some i threw up).

fairytale; are you a cat or dog person?

cat!! but my family has a chihuahua named sonny and you can pry that little monster from my cold dead hands ok i will fight you.

snowflake; favorite time period?

okay, i wrote and rewrote my answer to this about 10 times. then i tried to divide it up into categories (aesthetics, history, fashion, vibes, geographical location, etc), but that didn't help. so basically: i don't have one, because i have too many.

i like the american 20s-60s for the aesthetic, music/movies, and the fashion. i also like the european 1600s-1800s for the interesting history and also vibe. i love the french and russian revolutions — the fashion! the art! the wars and political upheaval! I FUCKING LOVE HISTORY. then, of course, we can't forget the rennaisance. or the witch trials (pick your continent). and ancient greece? the roman empire? hello?? did i mention empires? how bout we mosy on over to south america — can i interest you in the mayans? incans? aztecs? what about china and japan? korea? vietnam? and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the black plague.

ancient egypt? sign me the FUCK UP. vikings? yes please. the celts? oh boy. the MYTHOLOGY. the ARCHITECTURE. the LANGUAGES and POLITICS and LITERATURE and REVOLUTIONS and GOD HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ANY OF THESE

i uh. might have gotten a little excited. basically i like history a lot. and mythology. and linguistics. and cultural practices. and the politics and prejudices behind wars and stuff. and learning in general. moving on.

vanilla; do you believe in ghosts?

let's put it this way: i don't not believe in ghosts??

listen. we don't know jack shit. we don't know what happens after we die, there are constant scientific revelations that turn our understanding of the universe completely upside-down, and there is literally no way to know which religions or myths or urban legends could have some grain of truth to them. like, dude, i've literally thought i was haunted before. psychology is bananas and the universe is infinite.

demons could be real. ghosts could be real. what if we just haven't invented the necessary technology to prove it yet? what if we never do, and they just fuck around alongside us, moving furniture and making shadow puppets on the walls just for kicks until the earth explodes? what if that one tumblr post was right and ghosts are actually real people from alternate universes or timelines that we see accidentally bc some cosmic wires got crossed? who fucking knows.

i love horror movies and scary stories and ghost hunter shows just as much as the next gal. but listen. psychics? mediums? people who accept every single creepypasta retold third-hand from their neighbor's kid's classmate's second cousin who "totally knows a guy"? doubt.jpeg

i don't understand the sheer amount of assumptions made willy-nilly about the nature of ghosts and demons and things that go bump in the night. the assumption that "oh this machine that totally doesn't look like a coathanger taped to a walkman will work because ghosts have this temperature and can always communicate like this and are electromagnetic" or whatever just baffles me. to a certain degree, following a general consensus is one thing — some basic things everyone can agree on? that's cool. ghosts can walk through walls and are probably dead people or whatever. but oh my god, taking every single story as absolute, undeniable proof?? taking these stories and expanding on them to infer intentions and scientific facts to something that by it's very nature is unknowable and assuming, like, every spirit is created equal?? and yeah, ghost hunting shows are fun and campy and kinda creepy but like. you really, genuinely don't think any of them have ever faked anything at all??? even if ghosts are real, it's fucking reality tv, my dude. it's the entertainment industry. at least maintain the slightest ounce of critical thought before taking zak bagans' word as the goddamn gospel.

and sidenote, maybe it's just my limited exposure as a white woman in the western world, but of all the shows and podcasts and movies and documentaries and whatnot i've been able to find and consume, there's the constant use of christian ideology applied to every situation that just really burns my bacon. what, there's never been an atheist ghost? if you see a shadow person and you don't know the lord's prayer by heart, are you automatically fucked? why are there never stories about, i don't know, viking ghosts? does your religion in life preclude you from becoming a ghost in the first place? is that why people never mention buddhist ghosts? i don't get it, and that's why even though i'm self-admittedly the most superstitious person i've ever met, true believers make me roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out. makes me come across as more skeptical than i theoretically am. I HAVE VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THIS OK

but like, you couldn't pay me to fuck with a ouija board. i'm not stupid.

delicate; diamonds or pearls?

both have their appeal and their place, but diamonds, i guess. i like the sparkle. but fake ones!! or synthetic. diamonds are overpriced and artificial scarcity is a scam and i don't need a dumb rock that some poor person in a mine somewhere was exploited and possibly died for. no blood diamonds in this house, thank you very much.

if i ever get engaged, i don't want a diamond ring. i'd want something cool, a little unusual, like a ruby or a sapphire or some other sparkly gem that isn't literally shoved in your face every waking moment as the expected standard symbol of True Love. they're cheaper, they're cool-looking, as a ring they still hold the cultural symbolism of an engagement/wedding ring. and honestly, as long as it's well-made and durable, whatever hypothetical gem it is doesn't have to be real either. i'm a woman of simple needs and demonstrably low standards. no point in going into debt for a fucking piece of jewelry, regardless of ~tradition~.

lavender dream; favorite album?

oh lord. welcome to the black parade, i guess. or anything by panic! at the disco. there are dozens of possible options — my interests are mercurial and my memory is garbage. but i'll always be an emo little shit. black parade and vices and virtues were also the first two albums i ever listened to where i loved every single song on them, and i happened to listen to them for the first time at around the same point in my life (i got into mcr super late. like, 2012 late. rip).

silky; what’s your biggest dream?

it's cheesy but i guess i just want stability and, by extension, happiness. emotional stability, mental stability, financial stability, stable living situation, stable routines, stable relationships... you get the idea. i have ambitions and passions, of course, but my ultimate goal is happiness at this point in my life, and i'm pretty sure stabilizing all those things would go a pretty long way in achieving that goal.

a little apartment with walls i can paint because white walls make me angry. bookshelves and posters and fandom merch on every wall. a computer i can actually play games on again, and somewhere i can paint and draw and record my podcasts. someone who loves me, maybe. a cat, if i'm stable enough. space for people to come visit me, and a place for them to sleep if they need. a tiny balcony, if i really want to shoot for the stars. a job i don't hate. the spoons to hang out with my friends, and the money to not worry about buying little presents for the people i care about sometimes. i don't need much.

strawberry kiss; do you have a crush right now?

nope.

glitter; favorite fictional character?

another loaded question. like books, if you ask me again in five minutes i'll probably give you a different answer. but in this particular moment, caleb and jester from critical role (please don't make me choose between them). i won't go full shipping mode rn, but jester is so funny and silly and sweet, so much more complex than she seems, and she tries so hard to make everyone happy even when she's so sad inside. the healer who treats healing as an inconvenience in battle (she's so fucking valid and also mood), the glue that keeps the party together. and caleb learning to trust again, facing his trauma and coming out of his shell. he loves his friends so much he plays wizard as a support class and i love him so much.

i love the mighty nein in general, of course, and all the guests/honorary members they've had. pumat!! pls don't be evil reani!! keg!! shakäste and grand duchess anastasia!! cali!! kiri!!!! the brotps! empire siblings! chaos crew! nott the best detective agency! i still love molly and all his assholery to bits (fight me), and mourn his lost potential. i adore yasha, even when she's gone; fjord has grown so much; beau and nott and caduceus — i love all their flaws and disagreements and their character arcs and the excitement of watching them grow and learn. but if i had to choose, caleb, jester and molly have always been my top 3 since day 1 and, well, molly isn't really an option anymore.

but like i said, ask me again in a minute. i have a fucking list.

swan; share a quote or passage that means something to you.

a collection of things off the top of my head:

Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. — Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen

a tired feminist Mood™️

"What I say is, a town isn't a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it's got a bookstore, it knows it's not foolin' a soul." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

i got my love of books from my grandma — some of my favorites i got from her. sometimes, as a treat, she used to take my sister and i to bookstores and we'd stay there for ages, getting to pick one out, roaming the shelves, the mental torture of having to choose. the peace of being surrounded by thousands of potential worlds, so much information, so many stories just waiting to be told; being surrounded by strangers who share that same wonder. the anxious drive home so we could read them, being unable to wait that long so i inevitably start reading in the car and make myself sick. telling her in excited detail all my favorite parts. if we were lucky, maybe we got to split a bear claw, or she'd drive past starbucks and get us something there too (tall vanilla soy steamer with one pump of vanilla syrup, whipped cream on top that always melted too quickly and squirted out the hole in the lid, so hot it burned my tongue but so good i didn't care). i have never felt more at home than i do when i'm surrounded by books.

"There are a lot of different types of freedom. We talk about freedom the same way we talk about art, like it was a statement of quality rather than a description. “Art” doesn’t mean good or bad. Art just means art. It can be terrible and still be art. Freedom can be good or bad, too. There can be terrible freedom. You freed me, and I didn’t ask you to." — Alice Isn't Dead, season 1, chapter 2: Alice

as cringey as it is to admit it, this line made me cry a lot after my breakup.

"So you aren't American?" asked Shadow.

"Nobody's American," said Wednesday. "Not originally. That's my point." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

[side-eyes white america real hard]

there's more, of course. there's always more. don't even get me started on song lyrics, we'll be here all day.

lace; what’s your favorite plant/flower?

lilacs and roses.

mermaid; do you prefer the forest or the ocean? why?

both, i guess. but in different ways, and in different circumstances.

the sea is wild. it is endless and deep and unknowable. it is beautiful and dangerous. i am terrified of the ocean, and yet my favorite place in the world is an empty beach on the oregon coast. i have picked sand from between my toes for days with hair crusted in salt, danced around bonfires and watched the stars while marshmallows burn, gotten pulled under the waves as a child and nearly swept out to sea. picked starfish and crabs from small pools in the rocks, and swum (accidentally) with wild sea lions. in a long skirt, too early in the year to be swimming, i once took off my shoes and waded fully clothed into the water to my waist and just... danced. splashed and kicked and laughed with a boy i barely knew until our throats were sore and our toes were numb, walking home hours later with our soaked clothes clinging to our legs, shoes squelching, dripping algae as we went. the ocean is freeing and overwhelming all at once. i love it and am petrified by it in equal measure.

the forest is beautiful in a different way. it is silent and dense and serene. you are surrounded by life and yet, somehow, completely alone. there is magic in the forest, and history, and even when all else dies, that will remain. the trees grow from the corpses of their ancestors, and some have lived dozens of our lifetimes — with luck, a few dozen more. it is quiet there, peaceful, even the tiniest wood in the middle of a city muffling the outside world through the trees. you can feel the ancient ways deep in your soul as you follow winding paths strewn with fallen leaves, the mystery and wonder and superstitions of your forefathers. you wonder what it would be like, to run your fingers over the moss, to take off your shoes and socks and just run, leaping and dancing over rocks and roots, hair wild and air filling your lungs in deep, pure gulps as you shed the responsibilities and struggles of modern life, for just a moment remembering what freedom tastes like. it is primal, this connection to nature, one we have nearly forgotten over time. and as the sky grows dark and the silence of night presses against you, shadows looming, every footfall deafening, perhaps you begin to understand why some believed in monsters.

honeymoon; do you keep a journal?

i used to. honestly, that's a good idea, i should start doing that again. lord knows i have enough empty journal-type books.

starlight; do you believe in love at first sight and soulmates? why/why not?

i want to. i want to believe there's someone out there for me, the love of my life, someone to whom i'll be the love of their life, and that when i meet them i'll just... know.

but when i met my ex, i didn't really look twice at him for a while — no love at first sight. and when we were together, when i loved him and he swore he loved me back, i thought he hung the stars in the sky and knew i would marry him someday. couldn't even consider the idea that that wouldn't happen. and then when he broke up with me, he ghosted me so suddenly and thoroughly that he even preemptively cut contact with every single one of our mutual friends he thought might side with me in the breakup, before anybody even knew we'd had a fight. so, not soulmates either.

i really want to believe that someday the perfect romance will just fall into place and i can have the happily ever after i've always dreamed of. but the reality is i might never even have another s.o. for the rest of my life. maybe i'll get hit by a car tomorrow, or my hypothetical soulmate moves to argentina to become an alpaca farmer on a mountain somewhere and we never even meet. maybe i'm so traumatized by the betrayal and lies that i'll never have the courage to even try again.

and even so, happily ever after doesn't have to include a fairytale romance, regardless of whether i want it or not. i still like to cling to that hope though, deep down.

princess; what do you value most in people?

i'm going to assume you mean "real people" as in people i have positive relationships with, and not random strangers on the street.

loyalty. kindness. support. humor. similar values. patience. being able to grow together and teach each other things, so we can make each other better. honesty. trust. compassion. confidence. emotional vulnerability. communication. intelligence, or at least a willingness to learn. strength.

[skriaki]

TOP 10 NINTENDO SWITCH GAMES 2019 - my arbitrary list!

Sometimes it's good to be proven wrong. I was pretty sceptical when the Switch was first announced, as it didn't seem too different from the Wii U's gamepad. Then I spent two years watching Nintendo enjoy a complete reversal of fortune, to the point of potentially amassing a more compelling library than Sony's or Microsoft's consoles. So that's how I quite suddenly found myself buying a Switch in October 2019, after having resisted the PS4 and Xbone for five whole years, and my free time has since been dominated by this little machine that defied the odds.

Some of Nintendo's business decisions can still seem inexplicable, but releasing a powerful handheld console that can also be docked with a TV at a moment's notice has proved to be an inspired idea, rather than the gimmick the Wii U's gamepad mostly turned out to be. And along with Nintendo's dependable series of top-notch exclusives, the Switch has enjoyed much better third-party support, which is how I ended up buying Dark Souls for the fourth bloody time just because the option to play it portably was too tempting to resist.

The Switch is the first console I've bought since the PS3 and for all Nintendo's quirks, there's a reason the Switch has dominated Christmas wishlists for three years running. Games like Super Mario Odyssey feel like full-size adventures that just happen to have a portable option, as opposed to handheld games you can also play on the big screen. This is the first year in a long while that I've actually played enough topical titles to justify a "games of the year" list, even if my recent Nintendo bias is pretty blatant.

So with that caveat in mind, and in no particular order, here's my entirely subjective list of the best Nintendo Switch games of 2019.

Luigi's Mansion 3

This is a franchise I'd always been curious about and can finally have an opinion on. The process of going from floor to floor of the hotel hoovering up ghosts and solving puzzles is pretty straightforward, but Luigi's Mansion 3 has so much polish and personality crammed into the cartridge. Luigi is immediately lovable as a determined coward, and each level has a wildly different theme that's realised with extravagant audio and visual flair, so progress always feels rewarding. Though this isn't true horror by any means, there can be an unsettling atmosphere and some of the bosses are pretty freaky. I officially love this oddball franchise and am desperate for a chance to play the story again in co-op. Unquestionably a first-class exclusive.

Doom (Switch port)

Not to be confused with the impressive Switch version of Doom 2016, this is the iconic Doom made cheap and accessible. While purists may take issue with some minor technical deviations, this is the first time I've got most of the way through Doom because the portability and *glorious* true dual-stick control makes this easily my favourite version. There's even a cheat menu for when I just want to mindlessly punch hell beasts. The main thing that ages Doom is its maze-like structure, but playing it casually experience alleviates that frustration somewhat. At a grand total of four pounds, this is a BFB (big fucking bargain).

Untitled Goose Game

You know a game is good when the only asterisk I put on my recommendation is that it *may* be overpriced. Untitled Goose Game took the internet by storm this year because it's the quintessential indie game: cute, simple and with anti-authoritarian undertones. As a horrible goose, it's your mission to cause havoc in an unsuspecting English village, interacting with people and objects to cause chain reactions of chaos. Some of the puzzle solutions are maybe a bit obscure, but 90% of the time just messing around with everything in the area will lead to a solution. Untitled Goose Game makes up for its brevity with sheer comedic charm, feeling much better-designed than a "lul so random" affair like Goat Simulator. A honking good time.

Terraria (Switch port)

I have spent literally hundreds of hours on the PC version of Terraria, so when I was broke after buying my Switch the new Terraria port was an obvious cost-effective choice. While the controls aren't as precise, the amount of time spent mining and sorting through loot makes this a great handheld experience. I can't comment on the multiplayer options but few games represent such a sheer value for money, as there's always a new cave to explore or a new boss to overcome. Time has been kind to this 2011 classic, grind notwithstanding.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair

While I personally enjoyed the original Yooka-Laylee, it was definitely flawed and I never seriously expected to see a sequel. But Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair launched quite abruptly and did a pretty spectacular job of upstaging its predecessor. All the previous game's half-baked feel has been replaced with clever design touches, like the equippable tonics which grant helpful abilities at the cost of a currency penalty. The titular Lair is actually the final level and available to throw yourself at right from the beginning, but beating it without first obtaining more hitpoints by completing other stages is incredibly hard, which is a great way to incentivize progress without denying more confident players the option of beating the game earlier if they can meet the challenge. Impossible Lair might be this year's biggest surprise, and despite a modest budget I think it's worthy of comparison to excellent 2D platformers like Rayman Legends. Just don't expect to defeat Capital B on your first attempt.

A Hat In Time (Switch port)

I recently reviewed A Hat In Time but at the risk of repeating myself, it's one of the most charming games of the last few years and an incredibly impressive crowdfunded achievement. Mario's offerings may be a grander technical feat, but A Hat In Time is a fast and fabulous journey through a series of weird and wonderful worlds that all feel distinct in content and tone. It's very openly inspired by GameCube-era platformers like Mario Sunshine and Psychonauts and it easily scratches that itch. Simply one of the best original platformers of this generation, and I defy you not to love Hat Kid's cheeky antics.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy (Switch port)

As someone who thinks the original Spyro trilogy holds up better than most early 3D games, I'd have actually preferred a simple port rather than a full remake, but The Reignited Trilogy is honestly impeccable. The updated visuals are gorgeous while maintaining the general style of those old, jaggy models, and very little of the gameplay or content has changed except for sensible updates like the ability to immediately warp between every level you've visited. Having full dual-analogue control is also an absolute godsend even for a PS1 veteran like me. Though Spyro may seem a bit basic these days when faced with modern platformer marvels, the Reignited Trilogy makes these old favourites accessible again at a generous price point.

Ring Fit Adventure

Yes, I have a Wii kicking around in a box somewhere. No, Wii Fit never held my attention as anything more than a curiosity. Ring Fit Adventure, meanwhile, is limited only by my cholesterol-encrusted heart and dislike of excessive showering. This is an honest-to-goodness attempt at making an RPG out of a workout toy, and the amount of polish put into the game's presentation and hardware implementation is pretty remarkable. Levels involve jogging on the spot and squeezing the ring accessory to collect goodies and overcome obstacles, and periodically you'll engage in turn-based combat where you use a custom selection of exercise moves to deal damage. It's a fantastic idea pulled off much more elegantly than it sounds. The ring accessory unfortunately makes this quite an expensive game, so it'll take a lot of regular use to get your money's worth, but I can honestly (and surprisingly) say that exercise suddenly becomes more compelling when it's presented as a light RPG adventure with anthropomorphic gym equipment encouraging you to take breaks and drink plenty of water.

Pokémon Sword/Shield

Disclaimer: I can only give my impressions from 25 hours of playing Pokémon Shield, so this is DEFINITELY not a full review. That being said, this is still an easy recommendation to existing Pokemaniacs and a good starting point for any new acolytes. While the core formula hasn't evolved (har har) much since the very first Pokemon, Sword and Shield still has a number of modern quality of life improvements that make previous generations show their age. I've had so much fun building a core crew of cute and/or badass 'mons in a weird Nintendo version of Britain, and the online features combine with a VASTLY improved random encounter system to make grinding far less of a concern. The wild area takes some getting used to, but it's satisfying to come back and capture the huge Onyx you had to run away from a few hours before. Even if Pokémon Sword/Shield has some technical blemishes and could have pushed the series further in some regards, it's still easy to see why this franchise has maintained such a beloved status for so long.

Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-mars-tered (Switch port)

Along with Dark Souls, Red Faction was a game I never even knew I needed on the go, but now I've got it I can't imagine ever going back. A cult classic due to its amazing destruction physics, Red Faction sees you leading a proletariat revolution on Mars, literally tearing down corporate monuments to free the working class from systematic oppression. The open world is a bit claustrophobic and the shooting isn't exactly mind-blowing, but there's a reason I've beaten Red Faction every couple of years ever since its original 2009 release. The Switch port does the game justice and if you set the difficulty to easy then this is one of the best rage-venting experiences money can buy. So yes, I recommend getting your ass to Mars.

[thedevianthunterrk800]

Pride (Captain Allen x Female!Reader)

This was the first request I was asked to do so of course I did it :D 

ALSO yes I’m calling him David bc Daddy doesn’t have an official name rip

tags: @connorfixinghistie​ @guardianoftheunderratedthings 

Masterlist

NOV 20TH, 2038 PM 9:31:47

You honestly weren’t sure what was going to happen anymore.

While you really wanted to trust that Connor could convince the deviant to let you go, the cold metal pressed against your temple reminded you that right now, at any second, could be the end for you. The deviant could panic, and his finger could twitch at the wrong time and that would be it for you.

You didn’t want to die, of course, but you definitely wouldn’t have anybody else in your place.

Especially…

For a second, your eyes drifted away from Connor, who had managed to near the two of you without spooking the android currently holding you hostage, to the large windows through which you could see several SWAT vans and cruisers with flashing red and blue lights. Dozens of officers and SWAT members lined the street, which you guessed had been closed off, but your eyes stopped at one particular face, closer to the windows than the others and visibly the most nervous.

You couldn’t help but give him a weak smile.

Captain Allen.

NOV 18TH, 2038 PM 2:58:06

The SWAT vans were loaded, ready to head out and patrol the streets of Detroit. Although the Android Revolution at first glance seemed to be a success, the truth was that integrating the change the deviants wanted would take months, likely years. People were stubborn and proud beings, and the idea that their creations—machines that they’d built—demanded equal rights was definitely not something they’d been expecting. It wasn’t a surprise that after what appeared to be a win for the androids, people began protesting with even more vigor. More and more androids were turning up destroyed and dismantled on the streets, in dumpsters, even on the steps of the DPD on several occasions.

The city seemed to be falling apart, and that left the Detroit Police in charge of controlling the chaos.

The SWAT team in particular was always out and about, ready to deal with any human-android altercation at any given moment. Being in a constant state of fear-slash-concern that came with dating someone on said SWAT team wasn’t something that you’d necessarily been prepared for when you’d began a relationship with Captain Allen, but your heart had already spoken and you refused to let it deter you from loving your new favorite guy.

“Are you going to be okay?” you asked the SWAT captain quietly, shivering slightly as snow fell gently around you in the DPD parking lot. He was about to take off again and like always, you had no idea if this was the last time you’d ever see him. It had taken the two of you weeks of quietly watching the other across the station, of secret smiles and private conversations over coffee at the break room, before Allen finally asked you to dinner.

Your relationship with him was barely a month long yet you were convinced that he was the one you were meant to be with for the rest of your life. You tried not to let yourself get too caught up because you honestly weren’t sure how he felt about the whole thing, but that didn’t stop you from worrying about his safety.

As if reading your mind, Allen suddenly reached down to grab your hand, and you wasted no time intertwining your fingers together.

“I’ll be just fine,” he assured you with a small smile, lifting your interlocked hands to his lips and pressing a kiss on your wrist. Although you knew that his team was likely watching your exchange from within the vans, you wasted no time throwing your arms around Allen’s neck and hauling him down for a desperate kiss. He made a small noise of surprise before firmly kissing you back, and you refused to pull away even though his team had begun hooting because you wanted to make every second together count.

NOV 20TH, 2038 PM 9:07:34

You felt your blood run cold when you saw an android pointing a gun at the clerk behind the counter at the convenience store. Your hand instinctively reached for your pistol and you swore when you realized you didn’t have it on you.

This didn’t leave you with a lot of options, but you knew what you had to do.

You grabbed your phone and made a quick call to the DPD before hanging up and cautiously entering the convenience store.

At the sound of the automatic doors opening, the deviant whipped around and for maybe the fifth time in your life, you found yourself staring into the barrel of a gun. You raised your hands to show that you were unarmed and you noticed that the deviant’s LED, which had been flashing red, had now begun to spin yellow.

You offered a shaky smile.

It turned out that the deviant had been part of a group that had escaped from a discount store that sold secondhand household androids. A few officers who had been patrolling the area had caught them running and shot when they’d refused to stop. The deviant was still wearing its default CyberLife uniform, on which you could see the glowing letters “AP700”, and this had given him away. After seeing the other androids shot dead, he’d gotten so furious that he managed to disarm one of the officers, shoot them, and then flee to the convenience store.

And now here you were, doing your best to buy your colleagues some time before the situation could get even worse.

“What are you going to do when the police arrive?” you asked the brown-haired android, heart hammering in your chest as you tried to keep your head clear. The AP700 looked alarmed by your question, his LED now spinning red.

“I—I don’t know…”

“Tell you what; let her go, and you can hold me hostage,” you suggested in what you hoped was a reassuring voice. The clerk’s eyes widened as the deviant glanced from her to you. “She hasn’t done anything.”

“Why would I do that?” the deviant demanded, glaring at you in suspicion.

“I work for the police department,” you replied calmly, hoping the android wouldn’t shoot you on the spot in revenge. You probably should have considered that earlier but right now, you were just desperate to free the undoubtedly traumatized teenaged girl. “If you want the DPD to listen to you, you’ll probably want to have a more valuable hostage.”

The deviant frowned as he considered your words, gun still pointed at you. His LED was spinning quicker than usual, and all you and the clerk could do was hold your breaths while he planned his next course of actions.

Finally, he nodded. “Alright. You, walk over here. Keep your hands up.”

Slowly, you did as you were told. Once you were directly in front of him, the deviant pointed the gun to your temple and you took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“Get out of here,” the deviant snapped to the clerk, who hesitated before seeing you nod your head. She cautiously walked out from behind the counter, eyes never leaving you or the deviant.

As she passed you, you swore you heard her whisper, “thank you” and then she was walking out the door. You saw her running once she set foot outside and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

NOV 20TH, 2038 PM 9:15:42

Captain Allen very rarely lost his cool.

He’d been in the SWAT team for many years now and so he’d dealt with his fair share of hostage situations. The one in August stuck out particularly in his mind, but that was only because that was the first instance he’d ever had to deal with an android holding a human hostage. Since then, there hadn’t been any similar incidences—until tonight, that was.

The moment the van pulled up, Allen was quick to hop out and examine the scene. The road was blocked off, thankfully, and there were only two other police cruisers present so far. That wasn’t a surprise, though, since he and his team had luckily been nearby when they got the call.

“Allen!” a voice yelled, and he turned around to come face to face with none other than Gavin Reed. “About fuckin’ time.”

Allen opened his mouth to make a retort, but stopped when he realized that the arrogant bastard looked nervous for once in his life. Before he could ask, Reed pointed to the convenience store.

“She’s in there.”

It only took Allen about three seconds to realize who it was Reed was referring to, and then a tenth of a second before he was calling out orders through his earpiece to shoot the plastic fucker and get you the fuck out of there.

Out of all the women in the world, he had to fall in love with the one that always seemed to land herself in the most ridiculous shit. He was aware that he was getting up there in age, but fuck if he wasn’t about to have a heart attack right now.

He suddenly felt someone roughly grab his shoulder and spin him around, and he barely resisted the urge to knock Reed out cold for getting in his way. “What?”

“It’s going to kill her if you send one of your men in,” Reed snapped impatiently, his words alarming enough to stop Allen in his tracks. “It shot at us when we got too close. Said it’ll only speak to an android.”

The situation was all too familiar and Allen absolutely hated it. He’d been horrified the first time he’d seen that the same machines that were built to serve and make lives easier for everyone had the capacity to break from their programming and kill the very people who’d created them. The Philips hostage situation shook him to the core and was the reason he hated androids so much and thought it best to get rid of the lot.

Androids would never become human. That was a fact. The so-called revolution was absolutely bullshit and because of it, you were in danger and he absolutely could not stand to watch you suffer at the hands of those plastic monsters.

He wanted nothing more than to run in there and save you himself, but like Reed said, the plastic would likely shoot you for that, and the only thing that mattered to Captain Allen right now was to get you out of there and safely in his arms again.

Which meant that he needed to ask for help from the very thing that was threatening to kill you.

NOV 20TH, 2038 PM 9:23:14

Even if Connor wasn’t an android, he knew that he could never possibly forget the hostage situation back in August. It was the first mission he’d ever been on and the first time he’d proven how successful android detectives could be.

It was also the first time he’d worked with the DPD, particularly the SWAT team and Captain Allen.

Back then, Captain Allen had been surprisingly calm considering the situation. Sure, Connor could tell that the man was on edge and his heartrate was higher than normal, but otherwise he’d seemed emotionless. The captain was cold, if anything, and his actions and orders were nothing less than strategic and precise.

So of course, Connor was a little surprised to see Captain Allen visibly worried when it came to your own hostage situation. He was more aggressive than usual, likely to mask the fear that he was feeling for once in his life. If he was short with Connor back then, it was nothing compared to how abrasive he was this time around.

“Get her out of there as quickly as you can,” he snapped to Connor, eyes locked on the deviant currently holding a gun to your head. Connor had a feeling that if he could do so without risking your life, Captain Allen would walk into the store and tear the deviant apart limb by limb with is bare hands. If the deviant didn’t kill Connor that night, then Captain Allen definitely would. Either way, there was a lot to lose.

Still, Connor was fairly confident in his abilities as a negotiator, deviancy be damned. He assured Captain Allen that he would get you out of there in one piece, to which the captain only replied with, “You fucking better.”

The second he stepped foot inside the store, the deviant pointed his gun at him. “Stop! Don’t come any closer!”

“My name is Connor. I’m an android,” Connor reassured the AP700, holding a hand up and deactivating the skin there to prove it. The deviant visibly relaxed but kept the gun aimed at him. Meanwhile, Connor was busy analyzing you for any wounds, and was relieved to see that other than an elevated heartrate, you were in perfect condition.

“What’s your name?” he asked the deviant, slowly inching closer to the two of you. The AP700 didn’t reply, simply pressing the gun harder against your skin.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. How can we have a conversation if I don’t know your name?” Connor replied gently, now only less than ten feet away. The deviant only seemed to notice this closeness in proximity at that moment because he was suddenly dragging you further into the store. This sudden movement alarmed not only yourself and Connor, but the many members of the DPD outside. Connor raised a hand at them as a gesture to not make any sudden movements.

“I’ll shoot her if you move any closer!”

Unlike the Philips hostage situation, Connor wasn’t able to gather information about this particular deviant prior to confronting him. He didn’t expect this to be a walk in the park, but after everything Connor had done to help in the Android Revolution, he’d assumed he could handle one deviant with no issue.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The figurative time bomb was ticking and Connor was stuck because every time he tried to take a step forward, he noticed the deviant’s stress level spiked. If he pushed it, the AP700 would likely panic and kill you, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted to happen.

Then again, if he waited too long, then the deviant might just shoot you anyway.

He only had a few seconds to decide what to do, but luckily, you’d already beaten him to the punch.

“I’m sorry your friends were shot.”

You saw Connor’s eyes widen after you spoke, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could tell that the deviant was just as surprised.

“You just wanted your freedom and I get that. None of you deserved what happened,” you continued, eyes leaving Connor to look over to the windows through which you could see Allen watching you. Seeing him gave you a kind of comfort you’d only ever felt after coming home from a long day, and it was enough to let you power through. “We can help you get that freedom, but you have to trust us.”

“Why should I trust you?” the deviant snapped, though his voice wasn’t as menacing as before. It seemed that more than anything, he was scared because he knew he’d be deactivated for his actions, and honestly that was something that you sympathized with.

After all, it wasn’t like you weren’t scared shitless yourself right now, too.

“Because it’s either that or die, and I know you don’t want to.”

There was a second of hesitation, a moment where time seemed to stop and it was just you, the deviant, and Connor waiting for something to happen.

And just like that, the press of cold metal was gone. If you hadn’t seen the shock on Connor’s face, you wouldn’t have believed that you’d actually managed to convince the deviant to let you go but now here he was, sliding the gun across the floor to Connor with a look of defeat on his face. You knew that it was only a matter of seconds before SWAT realized that you were no longer in danger and rushed in to take down the deviant, so you swiftly pulled your phone out and made a call.

He answered on the first ring.

“Don’t shoot him,” you said immediately before Allen could get a word in. The man seemed at a loss for words, still in shock that you were alive and okay and calling him even though he was just right outside the store. “He let me go on his own. He’ll come out with his hands up but promise me right now you won’t fucking shoot him.”

“I—are you serious right now?”

“Yes. Please. Promise me.”

You were surprised by how quickly he was to respond. “I promise. Just get out of there already.”

“Okay.”

The three of you walked out in a single file line; you in front, the deviant right behind you, and Connor in the back. You figured that if Allen decided to change his mind and had a sniper at the ready, you being in front of the deviant would deter them from taking the shot.

However, it seemed that Captain Allen was a man of his word; Connor was able to handcuff and escort the deviant into a police cruiser with no issues, and though the AP700 didn’t look all that happy, at the very least he was safe and alive.

Meanwhile, you found yourself being engulfed into a bone crushing embrace by none-other than the SWAT captain himself. For the first time that night, you finally felt like you were able to breathe, disregarding the fact that Allen seemed determined to squeeze the life out of you. You felt him pull away and suddenly he was kissing you and you wasted no time kissing him back. It was sloppy and wet and way more emotional than you would expect from a man like Captain Allen but you weren’t complaining. Right now, all you could focus on was Allen and his burning touch, familiar smell, and soft lips against yours in front of a 24 with snow falling around you.

Your heart was once again hammering in your chest, but this time not because you had a gun pointed at your head.

Even after you’d stopped kissing, Allen continued to hold you close, and you could hear how erratic his own heart was beating. You closed your eyes, feeling very much safe and at home being held by him like that.

Finally, Allen spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Your eyes snapped open and you pulled away just far enough to be able to gape at his face. “What?”

Allen gritted his teeth, looking at the floor between you two. “I should’ve been the one to save you, but that fuckin’ deviant…”

“Don’t feel bad about that, babe,” you whispered softly, reaching up to kiss his lips again. He returned the gesture only briefly before once again pulling away with a frown.

“I didn’t know what to do. I was helpless and I fucking hate it.”

“David, stop being a dumbass,” you scolded, successfully shutting Allen’s mouth with your words. He raised an eyebrow at you but otherwise said nothing, an invitation for you to continue what you were saying.

You grinned at him. “If you hadn’t been here I would’ve lost my mind.”

“Baby…”

“Stop. If you keep blaming yourself, I’m going to leave you.”

Allen scoffed, his grip on your waist tightening. “Like I’d let you do that.”

“You’re right,” you said, eyes twinkling as you prepared yourself for what you were about to say next for the first time since you’d known him. “Hey, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Allen’s mouth fell open in surprise, and off in the distance you could hear loud, obnoxious cheers. Your eyes landed on the earpiece that seemed to be permanently attached to the side of Allen’s head and you couldn’t help but laugh, knowing that everyone had heard you. Captain Allen’s cheeks were flushed red, either because of your words or the fact that his team had witnessed such an intimate exchange.

Regardless, you decided to cut the poor man some slack and give him a little space. Before you could even take two steps away from him, however, Allen suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand, a determined expression on his face.

“Yeah?” you asked, already feeling a little lightheaded watching him regard you with such intensity.

“I love you, too.”

You laughed, shaking your head as he leaned down to kiss you for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

Not that you were complaining.