#because holy fuckin shit that story got me

[inkyquince]

i WAS creating a sherrif/chief of police oc for DoL and then I listened to the second part of a creepcast video and im sitting here all bug eyed, like oh JESUS

[darnell-la]

Just a little request okay so picture this, logans hitting it from thr back right, with wade in front of on the bed with his legs spread. she's sucking his cock, but logan, all mean with it, gets impatient and shoves her head down all the way on wades dick, and keeps it there as he fucks her. wade is obviously turned on, a little shocked, and asks if she's okay. logan says "yeah she's fine, i trained her throat for this"

note: oh, we gettin’ nasty… we genuinely feel like Logan would share y/n with Wade for his pleasure…

———

How do you guys feel about a x men story with reader? Logan being rude Logan at first, then slowly shows small affection towards the reader. Jealousy and things of that sort. They soon hit it off, and after Logan starts acting rude again, because he’s scared of the love he grew for her. It’ll be a long story, but something to read at night. ALL ON WATTPAD! Comment below, please!

———

“You’re such a tease, y/n. Fuck!” Wade stressed as y/n slowly stroked his cock, watching pre cum leak from the tip. “C’mon, Bub — Don’t keep the man waiting. You know he’s been waitin’ a while for this,” Logan said, but that was why she took her time.

“Be patient boys,” y/n said before leaning down to suck on the man's balls, causing her back to arch. Wade had a great view of the woman. Logan as well, but he was getting irritated with his girl.

Logan had tried fucking her a bit harder, telling her to suck the man off like he demanded a few minutes ago, but she continued to take her time.

“Don’t make me tell you again, princess,” Logan said, hands gripping the girl's ass cheek to intimidate her, but all that did was make her moan, sending vibrations through Wade’s balls.

“F-Fuckin’ hell, peanuts. Please, just- just fuckin’ put it in,” the man stuttered, feeling an orgasm near and she hadn’t even sucked his cock.

“Alright, I’ve had enough,” Logan said as he bent over and grabbed a full hand off Y/n’s hair. The man pulled the young lady up before pushing her down on Wade’s cock, forcing Wade’s length to push through her mouth.

“Holy shit!” The man groaned as he gripped the sheets, finally feeling whole. Y/n cried out to Logan, but they were muffled.

“Shit, man, I-I think that’s too much for her,” Wade said as he looked at the view of y/n gagging on his cock. He loved the way she looked, falling in love with her glossy eyes, but he wanted to make sure she was fine.

“You good, peanut?” Wade struggled to ask. “Yeah, she’s done. I trained her for this,” Logan admitted, still pounding into his girl from the back. He never slowed down, he only sped up, making sure she knew she was in trouble for misbehaving for company.

“Fuck — Are you sure?” Wade asked as Logan forced the poor girl to bob her head, repeatedly taking in Wade’s long and thick length with no breaks.

“Yep, and she better be glad we have company. That shit she tried pullin’ doesn’t work when we’re alone. I’ll remind her about that later,”

Y/n whined, making sure Logan knew she was sorry, but that only made Wade buck his hips and throw his head back.

“S-Shit, I’m close,” Wade said, making Logan smirk down at the girl. Even though she couldn’t see her boyfriend, she could feel the look he was giving her.

“You hear that, Bub? Wade’s gonna cum. You gonna take it like I thought you too?” He asked as y/n’s hands rested on Wade’s abs, trying to keep herself up and slightly stop Logan from his rough acts.

“Mhm hm!” Y/n answered, slightly scratching the man’s stomach beneath her. “Good girl,” Logan said as he roughly brought a hand down on her ass.

That was the last vibration Wade could take before he shot in the girl's mouth. Logan pushed y/n’s head down, forcing Wade’s seed to spill down their throat and she fought for air.

“Fuuuuck,” Wade fully laid down on the bed, taking in how good she felt around him when he came. “You hear that, baby? He likes it. You make him feel so good,” Logan got off at the way Wade, another man felt from the effect of his girlfriend.

“So fuckin’ good for me, baby. Always quick to let me try new things out — Gotta do this more often — Gonna cum faster than usual,”

And he didn’t lie. A few pumps and he was spilling inside of y/n, filling her with a loud groan he wouldn’t dare keep back.

[hollowtones]

my month-late PAX West post (& a catalogue of some things I saw and did and bought in September / late August)

PAX West was very fun this year. It was my first ever PAX and it was my first convention at all in maybe a decade. Any excuse to see friends is a good one & I love hanging out with the RTVS crew whenever I have the time and money to travel. ^_^ I even got to see some friends I've never seen in person before!!! (Thank you to Jill and Evan for the "Petal Crash" pin & thank you to Taxi for stealing my name tag by accident.)

I am very shy, and I have very severe social anxiety that causes me a lot of problems in my day-to-day life, so I almost didn't go to the RTVS meetup. People there were very sweet, though, so I'm glad I did. It feels very heartening to have people come up to you and tell you what the things you've made have meant to them. It was very hard to not cry. LOL

If you stopped by to say hi, thank you very much. I've been thinking about it through all of September and smiling a lot about it. ^_^

The rest of this post is largely pics of things Puzz and I picked up for ourselves. (And a little bit of talking about some other things we did.) I thought it would be fun to catalogue them. I tend to be a little thrifty, so I got to splurge on my wife. LOL

These were mostly things we got for Puzz because I didn't want to worry about lugging things home in a suitcase. But she keeps telling me they're our things, which makes me smile every time I think about it. Some of the pins are for me. I'd like to put them on my backpack... Hopefully they don't fall off. Jackie and Dodogama are friends.

The "Chicory" bag is a bit of a funny story. Puzz and I saw the "Beastieball" booth in the corner of the indie section. Very fun demo. Very cute booth. They have cool merch! I thought I saw Lena Raine working the booth, and I got really shy & nervous about making a poor impression, so I just kind of hid behind my partner. (I wish I had said hi, in retrospect... but we live and we learn...) So we just kind of shuffle off to the merch desk and talk to a very nice man there while we pick up some things. I work up the guts to say that I really like these games and that they mean a lot to me!! The guy says, well thank you, that means a lot to me and the team. Wow! Real swell guy, I'm thinking to myself. A day or two later Puzz and I are out to lunch with some friends and I just suddenly go eyes wide & mouth agape because I put two and two together in my head and realize Oh holy shit that was Greg Lobanov wasn't it. LOL

Puzz found a cheap copy of "999: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors" for the DS at a retro game store's pop-up. They also had "A Bug's Life" for Game Boy Colour and a strategy guide for "Gex 3", both of which I wish I had picked up.

Mr. Basculin was a gift from Jake. Good news! Mr. Basculin is still alive.

This is all stuff that was given to me as gifts. (Aside from the con badges. They make you pay for those.) You've probably already seen the Bibi that Jake made me. "Chicken Run" was also from him. "Zapper" was from Puzz and the Gumby game (& the Bad Boe sticker) was from Scorpy. These games fuckin suck asshole!!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with them & I'll cherish them forever. I also got a little rock and a human dog keychain.

I think Scorpy said a fan gave this to him at PAX East to pass to me eventually. I'm having a hard time reading the @ on it, but on the off-chance you see this: thank you so much. Every time I think about it I get a little teary-eyed. I want to get myself a little picture frame for it. (This is the first time someone's given me fanart like this before, and it made me very emotional. LOL)

Puzz and I only got 2-day passes for PAX, so we spent the rest of our time in Seattle hanging out with friends and seeing the sights. I don't feel like digging all the photos out right now, but we went to a really fucking nice jazz club (Dimitriou's Jazz Alley - great ambience, really good food, we saw Keiko Matsui live which was life-changing), we visited MoPOP (I hadn't been in years! It was alright! Puzz had some capital-t Thoughts about the whole place which was fun to listen to!), we rode the trains, I got a big bag of Dicks, we walked around downtown. There was this really nice coffee shop that I keep having dreams about, so I hope I can go back to Seattle soon. (Or at least eventually, next year.) Then we went to Portland for a day to say hi to a friend because the state was nearby.

Then we went back to Puzz's place in California. Then there was a major heatwave & a bunch of wildfires nearby... So we didn't have the chance to get out much in September. But that's okay. We've both been tired lately & I think we both badly needed some dedicated Not Doing Things time. It's just a shame that it was enforced by Dangerous Weather Conditions.

We got to visit some local friends and I got to try out more Bog-Standard Mediocre American Food. (Dunkin Donuts is just Tim Hortons. Olive Garden is kind of scary but the salad was really good and the breadsticks were fine. I had a middling hamburger from Jack In The Box tonight. Their milkshake was very good. I'm sure I'm forgetting others.) I went to a Macy's for the first time and the layout of the store made me have a panic attack. We went for nice walks and saw lots of nice critters and plants. I got to swim! I watched a mediocre PlayStation presentation! I turned 30 years old! Puzz took me to a very fancy and really nice Italian place for my birthday, in case you were worried that I was only eating garbage here. LOL

We got a lot of books.

Maybe too many. Also a Miles Davis vinyl for myself & some Gunpla as an early birthday gift for Puzz. And also the cookbook was a gift from family. But I'm very excited to tuck into more of these, hopefully soon. Some were for me and some were for Puzz but knowing us we're going to go "hey, I liked this one, you check it out" or "hey, I didn't like this one, but maybe you will" for a lot of them. I'm gonna start with "Annihilation" and the game essays book. ("House of Leaves" is a second copy for us, because my copy was originally Puzz's and I wanted them to be able to read it too.) I don't have room in my bags for much more than what I came here with, so we're gonna ship some of the books to each other when we're done reading.

It's been a very nice month... I feel very thankful to have a life full of love like this. I don't think I have anything else to add to this post! Thanks for reading.

[hirsheyskisses]

OP Boys: Special Hugs (03)

Kid & Killer

(Short Scenarios)

WARNING: Kidd's part gets a lil NSFW. no need done, but suggestive.

Eustass "Captain" Kid.

♥︎ let's get one thing straight

♥︎ he doesn't do "hugs"

♥︎ no see he does this really creepy staring thing from a distance. He practically SENSES when you're in the room with him, and he turns his head and stares.

♥︎ he thinks he's subtle but he's really not

♥︎ what, you broke a knife? Here, have 20 more he made himself for this exact occasion. Why are you looking at him so weird? YOUR OLD KNIVES WERE TRASH ANYWAYS HIS ARE BETTER >:(

♥︎ also, weirdly specific way of flirting with insults that are actually compliments

♥︎ yeah, that energy.

♥︎ but fate leads to the weirdest shit, so..

"....a fucking sea-stone box."

"I tried to tell ya, Cap'n.."

Taking a look at your situation, there was no avoiding it. Your Captain just didn't listen to reason, it wasn't in his blood. Now, you were cramped against his chest in a tiny, sea stone box, that was only ever intended to hold him.

Not an extra human.

"Quit your damn squirmin." Kid grunted, flesh arm wrapping around you. It was pitch black, so neither of you knew where body parts were until you felt them out. "Tryna give you more room.." you muttered. Currently, you were awkwardly pressed against him: head just above his, hands on his shoulders, and legs resting on his. "No, you're tryna shove your tits into my face."

You could almost see the smirk with his words, "If I wanted my tits in your face, they'd be there! Now hush and let me move," you slowly twisted your body, hand grabbing his thigh for balance. His hand danced up your waist, half helping you turn your back to him.

"If I do this, you'll have more leg room." Which is something you figured he desperately needed, being damn near 6'5 and built like a tank, yet again, cramped in a tiny box that was sucking his energy.

"Mhm.. yeah. Yer gropin' my thigh, sweetie. 'S much as I love the energy, a box ain't the place we're gonna do this." You tightened your grip, chuckling out of pure annoyance: this absolute and utter piece of work-

"...Captain, for the love of all that's holy, shut the fuck up- please."

"So polite." He snickered, his lips now right next to your ear.

You successfully had your back against his chest now, knees brought up to your own, and dropped your head on them. You could hear Kid chuckling softly, his arm wrapping around your middle.

"The hell are you doing?" "Mmmmmmm...." He groaned in your ear.

Heat rushed up to your face. "What the hell?!" "Ya smell good." "Yeah well you smell like fuckin sweat so-"

He drew you closer, dropping his head ontop of yours, "when we get out of here.. so will you."

Long story short, if Kid had known what it'd take to get you so flustered and in his arms was to put you both in a cramped space.. well, let's just say this isn't the last time.

"Massacre Solider" Killer

• it takes a lot for Killer to get touchy Feely.

• Contrare to his captain's kinda horny love, his is, way more subtle. (Mostly because, thanks to the mask, you can't see him watching you.)

• when he decides he wants to try himself with you, he starts popping up. Everywhere.

• You're genuinely surprised he hasn't popped up while you're showering at this point

• however, Killer does have a weakness, being from the south blue. And that's the cold.

• see, you're from the north blue. You're used to it.. and so..

"...you're bundled up-"

"And youre.. not."

You quirked a brow, eyeing your Vice Captain. He was currently dressed in three of the puffiest jackets you'd ever laid eyes on, an ear flap hat over his mask, gloves, and the fuzziest pants ever. Meanwhile, you were dressed in a simple jacket, boots, regular jeans, and gloves.

"Ya look.. fluffy." You could almost swear he was still shivering a bit. "...Killer, you can head back inside. I've got the watch."

He shook his head, "'s better to have two people on watch." "In some cases, sure, but when the second person is so cold they're dressed like an old lady.."

You watched the blonde tense, "...I don't understand how you're not cold." You snickered, shaking your head. Snow was beginning to fall from the sky- you'd long since entered a winter biome. "I am cold, but not that cold."

"You're insane." "I think the same about you South Blue folk in the heat. North Blue folk are built for the cold."

Killer shook his head again, joining you in leaning over the rail.

"...you've been out here for a while. Let me take over." Killer said. He was right, but if he was the next in line.. "Thanks, killer, but I'll stay out here with you."

"Go inside. You're not dressed properly for this cold."

"Did you not listen to a word of what I just said- I'm built for this-"

"Did you not listen to what your Vice Captain just told you?"

"Sorry, don't see him. I do see a cold, stubborn child." You were careful not to use the term kid.

"."

"..."

"......"

"You're worse than Kid."

"I'll take that at face value and be insulted."

He sighed, "impossible."

A few hours later, you both were switching shifts with Heat and Wire. Walking into the kitchen, you stretched, watching Killer de-layer by the fire. A smirk tugged at your lips as you approached the masked man from behind, staring over his shoulder.

"The caterpillar emerges from its cocoon!" "Shut." He grumbled, removing his gloves last. His hands looked tenser than usual, likely because of the cold. So hatched your master plan of..

Grabbing his hands, and engulfing them with your own, and lifting them both to rest at your neck. Because of his mask, you couldn't see what he felt: but oh, if you could, this man was panicking.

Finally, he mustered, "...you're a human heater."

"That I am! Besides, neck, underarms, and .. between the thighs are the warmest part on any human. Thought you'd know that."

Silence. His fingers flexed and tightened at your shoulders, before, without warning, he had you picked up and thrown over his shoulder, stalking down the halls.

"EH? KILLER-" before you knew it, he'd thrown open the door to his room, tossed you on the bed, and quickly yanked a blanket over you both, snuggling into bed without even taking his boots off.

"...do I wann-" "...you're my personal heater. So sleep."

Well, he's wanted to do that for a while regardless.. holding you in his arms, lay on top of you.. the occasion was just too perfect not to throw rank around a bit.

[lizzieisright]

Trust exercises

Abby, your friend, helps you with some of your therapy homework (just fluff, no smut)

-/-/-/-/-/-

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes before your scheduled meetings (since two adults need to schedule hangouts) you go to therapy, which means you come to Abby's place after therapy.

Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're sad, sometimes you don't come at all, and Abby understands.

When she first met you, she thought you were the most kind, sunny human being - you were so nice to her, and Abby couldn't help but try to spend more time with you. You gladly let her and soon you two were practically inseparable - Abby trusted you, shared her worries and fears, even the stupid ones, and you supported her through it all. You were soft and kind to her, and you told her the stories of your past which made her cry. This is why Abby didn't notice that you didn't share anything from your present, not anything deeper than a complaint about work.

Abby knew you were in therapy - who wasn't in this economy? - and she thought you were so nice because you were healing. But during one of your shared evenings in Abby's apartment you both got drunk, very drunk, and you spilled something.

"Do you know why I'm in therapy?"

"Because your childhood sucked and your parents can eat shit for that?"

"Well, yeah." You laugh. "I have like, major trust issues."

"You?" Abby stared at you, even though she saw two of you by now. "Really?"

"Yeah." You nodded and even if Abby was super drunk, she noticed how your voice was strained.

"Fuck." Abby sighed, not really having a better response in this state of mind. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"So I can regret it later? No."

It stuck with Abby later, and she couldn't let it slide, so she talked to you about it. You were very reluctant about sharing what are your triggers, but the fact that you told her some things was already groundbreaking. (I won't ever ask for any help and I hate when people baby me, you told her, and it meant that when she bought you coffee you got literally offended - which led to another "you need to tell me if I hurt you because it's unfair" conversation, which led back to "If I could trust you, I would")

So Abby started getting more gentle with you - it rarely worked, but you always reassured her she wasn't the problem, which broke her heart even more.

But slowly, even through you shot her some weird looks when she took care of you in any way, you started to accept it. You started talking to her little by little, and Abby was happy - even if it was "holy fuck I cried me eyes out last night, kill me please" message. You shared some of your feelings, and Abby couldn't help the protectiveness she felt about you. You were so nice and kind to everyone and you were so lonely and broken inside it made Abby angry at anyone who made you feel like this. So she tried to give you everything she was able to.

One day you came from therapy, eyes red and puffy, your face empty and you just asked if Abby could cuddle you. Abby felt like she won life this day - won a glimpse of your trust.

So today you came after therapy as well, grumpy as fuck, which looked cute on you - Abby couldn't help her adoring gaze when she looked at you, even if you gave her a weird look now and then. It wasn't agressive, but Abby knew you struggled to accept she loved you for who you are, even though that was something you desperately needed.

"I have fucking homework." You told her and Abby laughed: you hated when your therapist gave you homework, since it was embarassing and you wanted to throw up.

"What is it?" Abby asked as she heated some food for you: which was also a struggle for you, accepting her care, but you were trying your best. These small things were just a trial before bigger things, and you promised to at least handle this for now.

"Fuckin' trust exercises." You sighed and rolled your eyes, but Abby saw through you: you wanted to do it, wanted to see there was someone you could trust. "You know this shit when you fall back and someone catches you? Disgusting."

Abby laughed and placed the plate in front of you, nodding when you said thank you.

"It's scary."

"It fuckin' is. And I don't want to do it." You grumped and Abby waited. "I mean I do, but I'll hate every second of it. Anyway, the point of this is, will you do it with me?"

Abby saw how it physically disgusted you to say it, and she knew it was your reaction to being vulnerable, so she just smiled: you hated being vulnerable, but she couldn't express how much it meant to her that you chose her to be vulnerable with.

"Of course."

"You don't have to, obviously-" Here you go again, Abby thought.

"I want to. I don't go to gym for nothing, I won't let you fall." Abby flexed her biceps and you got flustered.

You both knew you liked each other, and you flirted all the time, but Abby didn't rush you: you couldn't handle her heating the food for you, you were not ready to be in a relationship by any means. So Abby was waiting for you, calm and sure one day she will get to kiss you and you will accept her love.

"Thank you."

"And don't you fucking dare to do something nice for me in return, I'll kill you."

"...Fine."

You look so uncomfortable with the whole idea, but Abby knows you'll push through anyway - you are a masochist like that. So you stand in the middle of her living room, Abby is relaxed and just waits for you to go through your conflicting emotions.

"I'll catch you, I promise."

"I know that. It's not what worries me." You tell her as you fidget with your fingers. "It's so fucking scary."

"Well, you're not here alone. I'll hold you after."

You struggle again with accepting this, but you don't reject her - every time when this happens Abby feels proud and happy: you are trying to trust her.

"Okay, can we like. Start with smaller distance? I don't think I'll be able to do the whole metre."

"Of course."

You stand awkwardly with your back to Abby, barely twenty centimeters away from her - if Abby leans down, she will be able to put her head on your shoulder. So this is not even the fall exercise, you're going to lean on her.

"Holy fuck." You curse. "Okay."

You're so tense and anxious even like this, and Abby stretches her arms by your sides, letting you see she is supporting you. So you slowly lean back until you feel your back touch Abby's front. She is solid and warm, and she hugs you, holds you, and it's almost too much, and you want to cry. Abby is safe and Abby loves you and really, it's too much.

"I've got you." Abby tells somewhere in your hair and you break. You sob quietly and move away: it's unbearable. "Too much?"

You nod, not ready to talk and embarrass yourself.

"Do you want me to be quiet?"

You shake your hand yes and no, and Abby understands.

"Okay. Want to try again?"

You nod again and go a little further: if Abby doesn't catch you, you will fall, but not painfully. Again, her arms are stretched out and you take a deep breath before letting yourself fall back - the air gets stuck in your lungs from a millisecondary fear, but then you feel solid warm Abby who chuckles into your ear, but keeps quiet, even though she wants to tell you how proud of you she is - and you feel saved. It's strange, but the relief you feel is visceral and you want to cling to Abby's arms around you.

"Okay." You sigh, the anxiety leaves your body as adrenalin gets replaced with dopamin. "Okay, I get it."

"m?"

"Like. I'm so scared when I fall, but because you catch me, I instantly feel safe. What kind of pavlovian shit is this?"

"Are you suggesting we train you into trusting me by doing this every day?"

"It might work. I wanna do it again."

And then you get giddy and giggle when Abby catches you for the seventh time, the dopamin doing its job. Abby is happy to help, especially since she gets to hold you and be there for you and lets you see you are safe with her. It's a long way down the road, but eventually you'll get there, and you will trust her.

Abby can't wait.

[roseshewrites]

Honestly, my Hazbin chapter stories haven't been doing as well as my one shots, so I need validation that if I eventually finish this RadioApple (eventual Mpreg) slowburn people will actually like it. Give me courage, people, I'm begging you 🥲

This is just one chapter from the middle of my unpublished story:

~A Golden Piece of You~

Alastor didn't understand how it happened, but the little king had somehow wormed his way into his psyche and it was quite annoying. Ever since that night Lucifer got silly drunk. 

Angel Dust had somehow looped him into several games of gin rummy with Husker and Lucifer which they played well into the evening till Angel was a slightly giggling mess and Lucifer himself was headed in that direction fast. Alastor nursed a cherry martini and watched the proceedings with an increasing sense of amusement. 

"Take a shot every time Alastor says something sarcastic," Angel was wheezing. 

"Take a shot every time Angel says something sexual," Lucifer responded. 

"NO. That's every other sentence. He moans in his sleep," Husker said, scooting back to avoid a tipsy Angel who had tried to kick him and missed.

Alastor, the only one besides Husker actually still playing, laid down his perfect hand and announced his straight. 

"Gin." 

"No fair asshole, how'd you get all the fuckin hearts??" 

"I paid attention to my hand unlike you, And I can plainly see all your cards. For someone with two sets of arms you're horrible at concealing them." 

"Shot," Lucifer whispered, then chuckled, and took one.

"You could have knocked three turns ago." 

"Quit peepin' at my hand mothafuckah!"

The game went on like this till everybody, even Husk, who had a stamina for card games, tired of Alastor winning nearly every round and rose from the circular table in front of the bar to go to bed. 

All except Lucifer, who stood up and immediately knocked over a chair, then followed it to the floor himself attempting to right it. 

"Oh this is fuckin hilarious," Angel whipped his cell phone from his chest poof and snapped a photo before Husker could stop him. 

"For my personal collection," Angel said fondly. 

Alastor, who had been putting away the cards, glanced to Husker, who shrugged, going, "I've got this one," gesturing to Angel, "He's all yours." 

"Yours can actually handle his liquor," Alastor returned. "And I am not claiming responsibility for him. Thank you." 

"All seven of you are terrible," Lucifer giggled from the floor, "Why are you letting the room spinnnnn?"

 

Angel was silently counting on his fingers, "How many extra of each one of us is he referring to do yah think?" 

"Oh for heaven's sake," Alastor said irritably, tossing the envelope of cards onto the table and striding over to help Lucifer to his feet, who was snickering helplessly as Angel held up a few of his arms and said, "Hey, how many fingers am I holding up?" 

"Fuh-fifteen," Lucifer said. "Holy shit. WhyDoYouHaveSoMany?" 

"You are going to have to actually stand up, Lucifer," Alastor said impatiently, while supporting him from underneath an armpit.

"Actually he was right. I was holding up fifteen," Angel grinned, watching as Alastor struggled to hold upright a limp and giggling King of Hell. The radio demon rolled his eyes. 

"His room is on the opposite end of the hotel," Husker said, "So uh, good luck with that," and smirking, tugged off a protesting Angel to leave Alastor with.. 

This thing.

"When did you get so fuckin' sexyy?" Lucifer was saying, his chin on Alastor's lower shoulder. 

Oh, clouds above... 

"Perhaps somewhere around your tenth shot," Alastor snapped. "Come on." 

"Kay." 

Tempted to simply bodily drag him through the hotel, but wary of what Charlie would say if she happened to see him treating her father like a sack of potatoes, Alastor settled with just hauling him along while Lucifer complained, "You walk too fasttt." 

"Well then keep up. And you'd best sober up fast because Miss Mcmillan's fiance is arriving tomorrow to scope out rooms for her wedding venue. And we actually want her to choose the hotel, remember?" 

"OhFuckThat'sTomorrow." 

He sighed. "Yes, Lucifer." 

"My daughter will be....piiiiissed if I'm not there for that.." 

"Exactly." 

"I love her so much, Alastor. That's my baby girl. I'm so proud of her..." 

..."I know." 

Finally, silence. But not for long. Lucifer said, "Do you even care for her? Huh? What are your intentions with her, and her hotel anyways..... 'Cause I can't get a vibe from you and it drives me insane." 

Alastor, finally realizing Lucifer could stand on his own now without support, propped him by his bedroom door and was about to just leave him to go to his own room when a thought hit him, and he turned back around. 

"Wait a moment, will you repeat that last part for me?" 

Lucifer stood on tiptoe to get in Alastor's face, poking him on the chest, "You heard me. You. Drive me. Insane." - each stop in his sentence punctuated by another poke to the chest.

Alastor was grinning, looming over him, "Do I, now? In what way?" 

He was taking in Lucifer's appearance now, how his already flushed cheeks were casted with a deep golden, noting his body language like how he leaned into Alastor.

Leaning in, not even cringing at his closeness. 

Interesting. 

"In every way imaginable," Lucifer glared, "-You. I mean- one minute you actually have a heart, then-" 

"Then what?~" 

"You go and- do something so *evil*, and downright idiotic-" 

"Oh, do go on." 

"I just, it makes me *crazy*, it makes me want to *throat punch* you, it makes me- ah, fuck what the hell." 

Before Alastor could respond to any of this, Lucifer threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. 

When their lips connected Alastor made a noise of protest and tried to break it; but surprisingly strong, Lucifer held on to him, drawing him in by the lapels of his jacket, and Alastor, though shocked, was surprised that he found himself pinning Lucifer against the wall, kissing him back, feeling those hot soft lips against his, the small hands curling in his hair, a hint of tongue, and-

Oh, no. He couldn't do this. Absolutely not. Lucifer was drunk off his ass.

He pried Lucifer's hands away from him with some effort and broke the kiss, growling, "Now see, *that* was an idiotic move on your part." 

Lucifer's breath was hot on his cheek. "You kissed me back. So who's the idiot?" 

"You are drunk. I cannot take advantage of that." 

"Then why are you still here?"

For some reason, Lucifer's unexpected act had completely frozen him in place. He felt a bit unable to move or think. 

Finally, after staring each other down for what seemed an eternity, Alastor was able to make himself back away and turn around to leave.

"For your information," he said,

"I

intend to draw patrons in to the hotel. My intentions with Charlie are to make sure she is set up for success; which I cannot do if I stick around to listen to your drunk ramblings. Good night, Lucifer." 

And he walked off. 

~ 

What a splitting headache. 

Lucifer, his head pounding, made his way to one of the many hotel kitchens and brewed some coffee there, still buttoning his vest up and tying his bowtie, checking his reflection in a nearby metal toaster to make sure that his hair wasn't too bird nested. 

"Good morning, dad!!!!" Charlie busted into the door, making him jump and cringe. She was singing away, and remarked, "Ooh, coffee" 

Now that his daughter was around, it was time to slide into a role that didn't involve feeling like a groggy piece of shit. Lucifer forced a stupid grin, and said, "Morning, sunshine!"

Charlie hummed and did a little butt wiggle while she poured her own coffee then began scrimmaging around in the cabinets for a poptart. Someone else pushed their way into the room and opened the fridge. Jeez, was this the only stocked kitchen in the entire hotel?

Last night. ...He wasn't sure if he'd dreamed it or not. Pouring creamer into his coffee, and while Charlie's back was turned, he allowed his mind to wander and nudged through the mists of blackout that was the night before. 

He had been playing gin rummy with Husker, Angel and Alastor; yeah, that checked out. He remembered laughing a lot.

He inwardly cringed. He'd done a lot of laughing about dumb shit. After that things had gotten a bit blurry. Had someone helped him to his room? He thought he remembered that, at least. 

"Mornin', Aluhfter!" He heard Charlie say through a mouthful of poptart. 

Lucifer nearly dropped the creamer on the floor. As it was, it fell over on the counter anyway, and he ended up having to dust powder from the surface into a napkin and toss it into a nearby trash can. 

Alastor had helped him to his room. 

"Good morning, Darling. Don't speak with your mouth full. You'll get crumbs on the floor." 

"Right! Shorry! I mean" she gulped, "Sorry. Manners. You're right. You ready for this afternoon?" 

While they spoke about hotel plans, Lucifer continued cleaning up an invisible mess that had been clean several minutes prior, and oh shit, he had to escape the room somehow but could he do that without making eye contact with- 

He turned around and came face to face with Alastor. 

"Uhh" 

Dammit, upon scoping the room for an out, he realized Charlie had already left. 

The radio demon was grinning, as he always was. 

"Good morning ~," he purred, "Sleep well?" 

"Y-yeah, sure did," Lucifer was edging his way to the door, coffee in hand, reaching for his hat which he had plopped onto the counter before fixing his bowtie. Gah, the brim was covered in coffee cream powder. Shit. And his hat apple was missing. 

Alastor had helped him to his room, and that kiss - had not, in fact, been a dream. He remembered it all now. 

"So if you'll excuse me- hey, where did you get that apple?" 

"Oh this?" 

Alastor was tossing the fruit in the air, catching it, "I needed it for my breakfast. Hope you don't mind." 

Lucifer glared, "So that's where all my hat apples have been going." 

Alastor examined the fruit, holding up a hand as if to say 'excuse me', grabbed a knife from beside the sink and sliced it in half.

"On second thought, you can have this half of it back."

Lucifer was finding a whole lot of trouble getting pissed off right now as Alastor stuck the apple half back onto its place in Lucifer's hat brim. 

"Um. Alastor? Did I...?" He cringed inwardly, "Did I do anything embarrassing last night..?" 

"Hmm. No more than usual. You've got coffee creamer on your boots, by the way." 

Okay, there was no way Alastor didn't remember the kiss. The way he had kissed him back, Lucifer thought surely...

Maybe there could have been something there. 

Alastor winked, "Better get cleaned up before our guests arrive, Applesauce.~" 

The radio demon took the hat from his hands, placed it on Lucifer's head, then gave it a fond little pat, making coffee creamer snow down to the floor. 

"Tata." 

"Ugh, you can fucking have the rest of this apple, you nut case!" Lucifer yanked it off his hat and tossed it in Alastor's direction, but the radio demon was already halfway through the door, and it just hit the wood and bounced to the floor. He could hear Alastor cackling madly. 

"Fuck," Lucifer said aloud to the empty room, "God dammit."

[lowkeyrobin]

Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!

- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)

LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀

MID90S ; writer

includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)

warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever

while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school

"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"

honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater

you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit

you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks

then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious

you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history

from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends

let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it

you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too

you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first

plus the person who won first definitely deserved it

teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️

fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did

I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit

but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him

brought him to tears that he tried to hide

which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder

genuinley so grateful for you

RAY

you were kinda iffy with writing

but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?

shit sign me up

a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO

you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray

you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real

the judges loved it though

it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages

but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality

you actually got third surprisingly

that's still 400 dollars though

you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn

you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you

he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??

genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh

he reads it front to back at least 3 times

FOURTHGRADE

you were pretty passionate about writing

so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join

a thousand dollars would've done you a lot

you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera

you told him about it but never that you were writing about him

you wanted it to be a surprise lmao

i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀

you actually won too

apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH

you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug

"thanks for being such great inspiration"

"huh?"

you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit

you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more

the duo

RUBEN

bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition

"whatever you want"

you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say

"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"

"fine"

you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship

you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone

you wrote like 70 pages

you got third

but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him

he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around

he's never smiled while crying before

you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you

you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew

"why are you crying?"

"i'm not!"

STEVIE

you also have a very sibling like dynamic

although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had

so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"

"i'm writing about you"

"what the fuck why?"

he's supportive tho

he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer

by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed

you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile

"holy shit!"

you smile and hand him half of it

he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously

I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit

gives you a little hug and shit

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Today I wanna take a break, because it is Pride Month and we lost an icon sadly far, far too quietly. Made me realize I don't think I've really heard much about Lynn Conway in queer circles for a long time. And honestly? That's fucked. If anyone deserves to be held up as a trans luminary of the past century it's her. I wish I had the knowledge of computer chips to fully explain how landmark her contributions were in her career, but truth is her story as a trans woman is what's truly fascinating.

If I have the details right, tried to transition during college in the 50s but ran into hurdles. Then got a job at IBM, fired when she sought out Harry Benjamin (another important name y'all need to quit glossing over) and was one of his patients in the late 60s. Transitioning before 30 and if I may say, being quite attractive...even when I was coming out in the 00s the general wisdom was if you could go "stealth" and just start over you should. Which Lynn did. Then went on to make some groundbreaking waves in computer chip design and really had this hellacious 30-year career as just a woman breaking barriers in tech. Keep in mind no one knew she was trans, ain't no way she'd have ended up working with Reagan's DoD on some Cold War defense tech if that was public knowledge.

Then at the end of her career, a new chapter began. Got out ahead of realizing some people were about to make the connection to her time at IBM so came out publicly through a website I remember being a pivotal find in my own journey. It was one of the best collection of resources out there and her story was one of the first ones I saw where you could transition and not be stuck in some small box forevermore because of it. You can shrug off the blowback and get on with your life. Ever heard of Blanchard & Bailey, the Autogyneophilia guys TERFs love to quote? Conway was a prominent academic speaking out against their dodgy methodology as well. Her lengthy and through takedown of that Man Who Would Be Queen book is fuckin legendary. Honestly, if you can find the old archived pages from her website it's worth a read. We don't really have many stories of like, a long life after transition without also being a mainstay of the community the whole time. There's a lot she'd get roasted for today, but generally for the wrong reasons because holy shit is my revisit showing so much honesty and stuff I've needed to hear at a similar point. We get so focused on the actual coming out and exploring and transitioning phase people miss that's just the baby steps on a lifelong journey. I miss how straightforward this old guard could be. In my experience queer youth today love it but it will absolutely enrage the late-blooming final wave of my own generation who lack so much perspective on how little the difference makes at this point.

I know it's fun to raise up queer names who were outlaws and radicals, everyone loves the (false) story of Marsha Johnson throwing the first brick at Stonewall more than her tireless decades of boring organizing. We like our fabulous and festive faces, but honestly...younger generations of trans folk should probably pay a little more attention to stories like Lynn Conway's where we actually do sometimes get to just have a "normal" and highly successful bulk of our lives after the identity struggle. So far ahead of her time it took until my own generation for us to see the whole having an experience more like hers.

[thebearer]

The people (me) are begging for more Carmy with a breeding kink

i will give the people what they want but with headcanons if that's cool ok :)

ok so the breeding kink really doesn't show until you're trying for baby number two

like carmen was into it the first time don't get me wrong, but he didn't fully comprehend how much he would enjoy you being pregnant.

he just liked cumming in you and how often you were having sex, and then when you were actually showing???? hollllyyyyyy shit lmao. a different level.

like yes he wants a baby and will be so excited to have another, but your body??? it's got him on another level.

you knew carmen liked you when you were pregnant, and truthfully you were thankful bc it was a lot. your body changing and it was weird to you. plus with the horror stories from others about how their husband's didn't like them pregnant... you were relieved.

but carmen reallllllyyyy liked it.

the dirty talk this time around when you were trying was.... different lol.

"i'm gonna fuckin' put a baby in you."

"can't wait to see you get all fuckin' big, holy shit."

and normally you'd cringe at the thought of someone saying that to you, but carmen??? he's into it and he means it.

doesn't even really know what he's saying, just babbling all fucked out for you.

you let it slide until his hand is over your tummy, tracing lightly while you sit with your legs up, waiting.

"you always look so good pregnant."

"you look good always, but i'm so excited to see you pregnant again."

that's when you realize that this is a little different that excitement.

when you do get pregnant with willow, you think the sex might decline now that "the jobs done" type thing lol

fuck no. carmen is insatiable.

especially when you start to show. just a teeny tiny swell, you haven't even told anyone, so it's barely noticeable. just looks like bloat but carmen knows better.

he's in heat after that one lmao.

the first trimester is hard because with teddy you were sick all the time, now you're just emotional and exhausted.

but when the urge hits for you, and you give carmen the green light, he's dropping everything and will come to you ready.

met you out in the car behind the bear while teddy was at her little twinkle toes dance class down the street to rail you before you left.

carmen came back positively flushed and richie teased him mercilessly lol.

he just loves when you're pregnant lol. thinks you're hot all the time but preg???? it's something new about him and he's obsessed.

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

hey bud 💚 how about 18 "it's so hot when you talk like that" if you're feeling it?

"It's so hot when you talk like that." additional tags: hypothetical pregnancy discussion, hypothetical breeding kink, ian's been reading a lot of A/B/O on the DL

"Can't believe that motherfucker Allen."

Ian closes their apartment door behind them, sealing them away from yet another neighbor interaction. "Makin' Jill carry all those bags when she's - what, thirty weeks pregnant?" He's nosy - don't worry about it.

"Thirty one," Mickey corrects, because he's even nosier. "What a piece of shit."

"Well...least we were there," says Ian, finally able to worm the handle of their plastic CVS bag back down to his hand now that it's not occupied with another family's groceries. "Think they'll make us godparents?"

At the counter, Mickey grimaces. "Ugh. Don't even fuckin' joke about that."

It gets a laugh from Ian - the striking contrast between Jill's produce bags and their CVS bag of lube, condoms, and beef jerky not lost on him in the slightest.

"Better not pull any of that shit on me."

Ian looks up from their spoils. Tries to imagine a world where he'd pull an Allen on his husband. "Never," he says. "I'm a gentleman after all."

"Uh huh..." He can hear Mickey's grin as it trails off into the refrigerator, his head and shoulders blocked by the open door. "Course, for that you'd haveta put a baby in me first."

And oh, the way Ian's sensors go off in his brain... How a little pop of interest licks up his belly... Well that was a thing to fucking say! "Ha ha..." play it cool... "Yeah..."

It's just a stupid, passing comment. They make it to each other sometimes, comfortable in the silliness of it. But that doesn't mean Ian's brain hasn't taken it and molded it into perfect, sexy little shapes for himself.

"You expect me to carry around your pups like that, I expect your ass to cater to me day 'n night..."

Okay...

Ian takes a slow breath in, his nostrils flaring.

He sets the lube down.

Goes with his gut and approaches Mickey from behind, just as he's closing the refrigerator door. Because if he's gonna keep talking about this shit, then Ian's got no choice but to follow his animal instincts, right?

"Oh," he feels Mickey grin as he swoops in to wrap his arms around him, pulling him close against his chest. "That right, big guy?"

And fuck, Ian's just gonna go for it. Just gonna indulge a little, the fantasy of all those stories he's been sneaking in at night playing out right in front of him on this beautiful Sunday afternoon. "It's so hot when you talk like that..."

He murmurs it into Mickey's ear. Finds comfort in being able to hide his face from him, because he's definitely blushing a deep red when Mickey feeds into it - "What...talkin' 'bout you knockin' me up...?" - because of course he does.

And all Ian can do is hum in affirmation, his hold around his husband tightening as he drags his lips down the side of his warm neck, looking for his pulse point. "Mhm..."

Because that's hot...right? Ian laying Mickey out and pumping a nice big load into him? Getting him pregnant? Taking care of him while Mickey carries his child? Yeah, he knows it's not realistic and yeah, he knows it's a little fucked up, but come on... All those stories are kinda onto something.

In the kitchen's golden afternoon light, Mickey presses his ass back into his lap, teasing at the very obvious bulge in Ian's jeans. "Ya know, stud...we could make a baby right now..."

It's got heat and pleasure spreading through Ian's lap - up through his chest. Holy fuck. "Yeah...?" He fucking loves this man. "Want me to getchya pregnant, baby?"

"Mhm... Want ya to stick this big ol' cock in me and knot me up..."

And Ian is so blindly horny that it almost slips past him. He's so ready to haul Mickey into their bedroom and crack open the new lube but then he-... Wait a minute... He just said-...

Ian grows still behind him, embarrassment waiting in the wings as he carefully asks it. "How do you know that word...?"

"What... Knot...?" He can't see Mickey's face, but god damn he can hear the smirk on his lips. "Same reason I know your phone password..."

And oh... Ohhh boy, should Ian be having a crisis?

No. No, he doesn't think so. Because even with his search history fresh in mind, Mickey's playing along - feeding right into it, with another press of his ass into his lap and then a teasing brow raise as he starts for their bedroom.

"C'mon you alpha freak - come put a baby in me."

Ian stands for a second, at a loss for words in the middle of their kitchen.

But then they kick right in again - his animal instincts - and he's hot on Mickey's tail.

Fuck, he loves this man. He'll carry a thousand fucking grocery bags for him.

[ send me a smutty one-liner ]

[nonsensicalramblings79]

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and parallels in OFMD

2.7k word meta

If you haven’t read my other post about why I’m talking about albatrosses in the first place, read the first part of this and come back! All of this will make the most sense if you read all of the parts I’ve written – I’ve split them up for ease of reading, because holy shit this is long.

TWs: animal death, blood, eating animals, starvation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, gunshot injuries, suicidal ideation, canon-typical mental health problems

MAJOR OFMD SPOILERS THROUGH S2E03

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me start out by saying that yes, this is anachronistic – this poem wasn’t written until 1798. I also don’t care: Oluwande is wearing crocs, Stede’s “corpse” is crushed by a piano whose maker won’t exist until 1863, Blackbeard’s got his whole leather-daddy getup, Zheng Yi Sao won’t be born until 1775 – OFMD plays fast and loose with historical accuracy, and I am never going to dismiss an OFMD theory because the timeline doesn’t match up :P

Now that that’s out of the way, a little bit of background information. Long summary incoming.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner is a poem written by English poet Samuel Coleridge. The story is told through the words of the mariner, who has recently survived some horrifying ordeals, soon to be told to a poor unsuspecting stranger who just wants to attend a wedding. As the story goes, the mariner set out with his crew of 200-some-odd men, and everything’s going just peachy until some storms pick up and drive them toward the South Pole. Stranded and lost, the crew fear for their lives, until an albatross appears. At the same time that the albatross appears, the storms clear, the helmsman is able to make their way through the ice of the South Pole, and a southern wind picks up, pushing them back north. The albatross follows the ship, but the mariner believes that it is somehow responsible for the mists and fog that now surround the ship, so he shoots the bird with his crossbow. At that point, the fog and mists actually do clear up (by coincidence or otherwise) – and the crew praise the captain for taking down the bird.

But it’s a fickle crowd – soon the wind stops blowing, and the ship is becalmed; the crew blame the Mariner for killing the bird that had been their good luck. They sit in the middle of the ocean for days or weeks, dying of thirst. They cannot even speak, they’re so thirsty – but they make sure that the Mariner knows that he is to blame for this by tying the albatross’s body around his neck and forcing him to wear it like a grotesque necklace. Eventually, everyone on the ship except the Mariner dies (there’s a bit here about Death and Life-in-Death rolling dice to see who lives and who dies – the important part is that none of the crew survives).

Finally, the Mariner is left alone on his ship of corpses, which strangely do not smell or rot. He wishes he could die, but he doesn’t. During this time, he begins to appreciate what there is left to appreciate – the life around him in the ocean, in the air, “all things both great and small” – and the curse is lifted from him. The albatross detaches from around his neck and sinks into the ocean.

From this point on, the story goes about as you’d expect – the curse being lifted, the wind picks up again, setting the Mariner speeding back home (though, perhaps unexpectedly, his crew gets to come back as zombies for a short while to man the ship until it reaches land again, at which point they die again. RIP). As the ship is coming upon the Mariner’s homeland, it sinks like a rock to the bottom of the ocean – a hermit happens to see the Mariner floating out there and comes to pick him up, thinking he’s dead. When the Mariner opens his eyes, the hermit believes him to be the Devil himself (I mention this only because I think the wording of “Demon? I’m the fuckin’ Devil” lines up perfectly with this).

As penance for shooting the albatross (as if all of this so far wasn’t enough), the Mariner spends the rest of his days wandering the earth, telling his story and making random wedding-goers sad.

HOO BOY, that was a lot. (A whopper, one might say.) Thanks for sticking with me so far.

Now, some of the parallels between this poem and the events of OFMD are more neat and tidy than others are. The biggest parallel, obviously, is the link between the albatross and the “impossible birds” that Ed references in S2E01 – the entire reason I started reading this poem to begin with. The links between the show and the poem are not ones that I think the characters in the show (Ed) are consciously making. I think these allusions more reflect the themes and symbols that the writers and directors want us as the audience to pick up on. Therefore, the “impossible birds” conversation in canon is not talking about albatrosses in the sense that they are commonly referenced in literature, as the proverbial weight around one’s neck that represents guilt – but we can still talk about that symbolism outside of canon.

And talk about it I will.

For those of us who have watched the show, it probably goes without saying that Ed’s got a fair amount of guilt, shame, psychological trauma, etc. that he carries around with him. So if we’re going to invoke the albatross metaphor following S2E3, what specifically can we say is Ed’s “albatross?” There are a few candidates that immediately come to mind. It could be his guilt surrounding a) his father’s murder; b) Lucius’s attempted murder; c) the abusive, toxic relationship that he carried on with Izzy; or maybe even d) himself.

That last one is a little esoteric, so let me explain. Ed hates himself – aside from all the self-destructive tendencies as evidence, he admits it out loud in his dream with Hornigold in S2E03. I wonder if the albatross that is hanging around Blackbeard’s neck is Edward – the real Edward, the one that is more than just his fame, his terrifying persona, his violence-as-a-form-of-love tendencies – the Edward that Stede fell in love with. I wonder whether Ed’s guilt surrounds more than just how he’s hurt others, but how he feels he has killed a truer, better version of himself, and that he can never regain it. In line with The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, killing this “albatross” of a better Edward didn’t just kill him – it killed everyone around him as well. And now, after he has borne the blame of others for having gotten them into this situation, he is forced to wear…himself. The guilt that weighs him down is the knowledge that there is a version of him that was loved, that Stede loved, and in his eyes, he has killed that version of himself.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge a post (or several posts) that I saw several months back in relation to season 1. In these posts [Link1, Link2], smarter people than me drew a connection between a metaphorical albatross and the black cravat that Stede gives to Ed – and that Ed continues to wear until he and Stede change into their privateering academy garb. Something both of those posts touch on is how the cravat represents Stede, and I think that is completely true; however, I posit that the cravat represents the fact that Ed is lovable.

Something that’s been pointed out in the past 48 hours since these episodes dropped is that Ed is not wearing the cravat during the first parts of season 2. Only when he essentially decides to kill himself via storm do we see him once again wearing the cravat (the cravat is also noticeably absent from the purgatory dream sequence).

What exactly this means is still shaky to me – in my mind, Ed does canonically see the cravat as a reminder of his “real” self, and he puts it away and tries to hide it while he’s still…well, functioning is far too strong of a word, but at least not actively suicidal like we see at the end of episode 2. I think hearing Izzy supposedly shoot himself is what pushes Ed over the edge into being actively suicidal; perhaps at this point, some part of Ed is still hoping against hope that he can convince himself not to do it, to wait for Stede. Alternatively, it may be that if he dies here, he wants to take the idea of a “better him” with him.

In the sense of the cravat representing the albatross (meaning the cravat presence is not a choice of the characters, but of costume design), the cravat being missing during the batshit-insane-high-on-rhino-horn Kraken era may represent him not actually feeling the guilt of losing himself during this time. He may have actually convinced himself that a lovable version of himself never existed, and he’s living guilt-free. The guilt comes back when he hears Izzy shoot himself – he’s reminded that he caused this by killing a version of himself that Izzy trusted and even loved, in his own fucked-up way. From then on, the cravat is back on – the guilt is back, and it’s strong enough to induce the kamikaze-type rage we see in the storm.

(Important to note here that while I stand by this interpretation, I’m not sure how it fits with the fact that Ed is wearing the cravat just after the Krakening – the moment when he’s looking back on the island that he just abandoned the Revenge crew on in S1E10.)

I’m leaving this one for myself to come back to later on the off-chance I have some sort of epiphany.

Oh wow, you’re still here?? Probably time for a water break. Go on, the rest will be here when you get back. And there’s unfortunately quite a lot more that still needs to move from my brain to this Word doc.

Ready? Ok.

So that’s one possible interpretation of what Ed’s “albatross” is – I won’t spend time on other possibilities because what I’ve laid out here is the interpretation that I most strongly subscribe to. But all that is only really addressing one part of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Granted, it’s the most important part, symbolically, but there are some other parallels that I want to address that together convince me that the writers of OFMD are actually, specifically referencing this poem.

Obviously, there’s a parallel in that both the happenings of the poem and OFMD occur on actual, physical ships, captained by the man who ends up “shooting the albatross” and being rightfully blamed for it. Both of these ships suffer because of the dead albatross – physically, both ships are taken through devastating storms, and both ships are falling apart. The ship in the poem stops moving indefinitely because of a becalming (all wind and ocean currents stopped); the Revenge stops moving indefinitely because Ed removes the wheel. Both ships suffer casualties – in the poem, everyone dies, and on the Revenge, those crew members may be physically alive, but they are haunted by it. The poem makes note of the fact that the crew died of thirst – while this doesn’t seem to be a main concern on the Revenge, the show does show us, rather graphically, that they were beginning to starve, having to catch and eat raw seagulls to survive (note that dead birds are also a recurring theme in OFMD, leading me to believe even more that albatross references are intentional).

There’s an interesting pattern in the poem concerning dead people – specifically, how they don’t seem to be entirely dead at first. Firstly, the crew that die of thirst drop dead, one by one, on the deck of the Mariner’s ship. However, the poet notes that the bodies did not decompose or smell. Later, these bodies are resurrected by whatever sea spirit chooses to spare the Mariner’s life, using the bodies to man the ship and sail it back to shore. When they are done with this, they drop dead once more, staying on the ship as it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. When the hermit finds the Mariner floating in the ocean, he thinks him dead, before the Mariner’s eyes shoot open (similar to a certain someone at the end of S2E03).

In season 1, I can’t think of any instances wherein someone was presumed to be dead, but actually wasn’t, aside from Stede’s fuckery. However, this theme has come up at least 3 times in season 2 so far: Lucius being the obvious one, then Izzy, and finally Ed himself (and if I’m understanding correctly, Ed was actually, literally, cold-in-the-ground physically dead, not just “presumed dead.” This might be clarified in a future episode). That seems…intentional.

Side note: how long was Ed supposed to have been dead? Days? Didn’t anyone notice that he wasn’t, like, rotting? Especially when “the smell of rot” has been something that very consistently shows up in the show when it’s relevant (see: Lucius’s finger infection, Ed being able to smell Izzy through the walls of the ship).

One more thing: the last thing that the Mariner sees when leaving the shore, and the first thing he sees when he gets back? A lighthouse. Now, could that just be a coincidence, with lighthouses being a very common image in sea-based stories? Sure. But I’m choosing to believe that this poem was chosen (and yes, I say chosen – as in the writers took inspiration from this poem) specifically because it has so much imagery in common with OFMD.

These are admittedly tenuous links between the poem and the show, but they are links, so I’m including them.

The last thing I want to mention about this poem is how its “moral,” if it can be said to have one, is to treat living things with respect – you as a person do not live in a vacuum, and your actions have consequences for others, not just yourself. And I think this sentiment lines up incredibly well with a line that Jim has in S2E02:

…

There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other.

…

According to Jim (and according to literally everything the show has been telling us), the ship was a safe place when the people onboard cared about each other. Fang mentions that Blackbeard didn’t even react when Ivan died; Blackbeard callously shoots his first mate, with the intent of having him killed; he doesn’t even care about his own life and whether he lives or dies. Just like in the poem, this is the issue that needs to be resolved in order for the curse to be lifted – the Mariner (Ed) needs to rekindle an appreciation for life. In the poem, this is a simple “every living thing is special” kind of epiphany – I get the feeling it’s going to be a much more complicated journey in OFMD, especially since the show as a whole is somewhat irreverent concerning the deaths of non-recurring characters. For Ed, I imagine it’s going to be more of an appreciation for his own life – not the value of life on the whole, but the value that his life holds.

So. That’s a lot of words that I just typed – I’m hoping at least some of them made sense. Huge thank you to anyone who made it this far! This is all I’ve got on this particular poem, but I’ve still got more things I want to say about another poem called L’albatros (Charles Baudelaire) and how it relates to Ed and his perception of himself. It’s a huge stretch to say that this poem exists in-universe and Ed has read it, but it makes sense to me and I want to get my thoughts down on (virtual) paper – I’ll link to it in the original introductory post (link to that at the top of this post!).

Let me know what you think!! This silly, stupid pirate show will be consuming my thoughts for at least the next several months, and I’m dying for some reciprocal opinion/info-dumping. Inbox is open!

[thetentaclecommander]

Commit to the bit.

Life is too fuckin short. And then we die and rot. You got *this* nonsense story idea? With *those* characters? In *that* fandom? That you want to see meet/befriend/fight/debate/fuck/have tea/x *with each other*?? Then do it. And commit. Full on own your idea, cause this fanfic shit is for fun. Shits and giggles. Nothing more, nothing less. Not even to save a pony or topple a dictatorship*. Don't hold back your commitment to this idea because somebody will get mad or will assume the worst of you (they will anyway; assumptive people don't deserve your time). Or your writing skill isn't 'good' - try! I promise in this journey you will over time find that becomes less of an issue. Hell, I'm not the Bard but I'm way better than I was an eternity ago; it's hard typing with tentacles, ok. Or people just won't like it. Spoiler: nothing is universally liked or loved and that's okay. Write it anyway. Like that movie with the cornfield: 'if you build it they will come.' Your people will show up, it just takes time. You are allowed to say 'That's my story and I wrote it exactly as I wanted it.' No debating**, no it has x and this or that blah blah bad blah - nah. It's your story. Folks can go find something else and complain somewhere else, they know how to work a computer. And for all that is holy don't sanitize, nor compromise your vision- I've seen it out in the wild and it kills me whenever authors cave to the pressure when a thing is seen as awful, <insert silly religious scary wording here> and needs changing by an audience that sees your work as a thing to consume seasoned to their tastes and not to enjoy what is freely given by a fan fandoming it up. You will only feel boxed in and resentful so...don't :) Laugh at them and do it MORE. In fact, stand 100% by your work. Hype up that shit! Where is the hype like you did that! You did this crazy thing in your own free time probably stressed af and yet made this story. You made it from your own brain put into text form for others to enjoy. That is so fuckin' cool. Like legit you basically wrote a book so congrats, you legend. Revel in it. But above all else Commit. To. The. Bit. *you could make a fic out of that 'saving a pony dictatorship' idea I suppose, FiM would love you **now, if you ask for actual advice (and not unsolicited crit), take what works and toss what doesn't but don't get mad at crit you directly asked for!

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, April 21, 2024

My posts

Initially I wrote, “I ran my mouth about the Watcher streaming/paywall situation because I make bad decisions,” but I think the post has actually gone over well? In short, I want to see them succeed but I am also deeply fuckin’ baffled. I so desperately want the tea about what was really going on behind all this, and how the guys are reacting to it now, and I really hope they can turn this around somehow. 

Side note, Friday was CHAOTIC. 

Reblogs of interest

The Hot Vintage Lady Polls are escalating in round four. We got to a point where I posted propaganda for Ava Gardner AND Dorothy Dandridge in their matchup. Probably the biggest scandal of round three was Vivien Leigh getting knocked out, but she’s now High Chancellor of the Shadow Realm. The most contentious matchup this time seems to be Judy Garland vs Natalie Wood, which is nearly 50/50 as of this writing. But keep your eye on Hedy Lamarr, who may have Mifune Sweep energy. 

(I think I love these brackets for the same reason I love Dracula Daily: it’s delightful that thousands of people on Tumblr actually have deeply-held opinions about things from many decades ago, and if they didn’t before, they do now.)

(“I’m Katharine Hepburn, and this is Jackass!”)

--

Happy Bread Day (Observed)!

Hozier Watch 2024: “Why Would You Be Loved” has arrived on the Wasteland, Baby! special edition. I like this post about how that song is in conversation with “No Plan,” one of my favorites. (I wrote about “Movement” a while ago, but I could have fully inflicted an essay on you about how “No Plan” pulled me out of my six years of hiding from the internet. Anyway, it’s a great album from a few years ago, check it out if you haven’t.) 

Generally I keep my mouth shut about Taylor Swift, but the new songs sure have some lyrics. I love Florence Welch, but I’m scared.

You’ve heard of spoon theory, now check out spell slot theory

“You’re either frolicking in this field with me, or...” is funny, but then you get to the reblog.

What if we lay in this field together and held feet

A deep breach of etiquette with a little dog named Gucio

A story about statue vandalism with a delightful twist

You gotta fight mint with mint (like I can bring in my lemon balm, but at what cost?) 

I saw this post about feeding wild skeletons on Pinterest and I loved it so much that I tracked down the original. 

Once again, Holy Shit, Two Cakes theory

Remember the haunted house I grew up in? Yeah, it had a carpeted bathroom like this.

“gonna start formatting my posts like fics on ff.net circa 2008” will do you exactly the psychic damage you’re imagining 

The Round Table attempts to use Zoom

Video

Lil Nas X covers “Jolene,” Dolly Parton loves it, and @oscar-wet-and-wilde has further Black Country recs

A big loud steppy

“He’s retrieving”

Crispy meows

Watching this angel of a Doberman get a full spa treatment is also self care

AND YOU DARE SAY NO MORE TREATS??!?

The sacred texts

I don’t like thing, now with artist credit 

Personal tags of the week

I love when I can use a really niche, specific tag, and this week, it’s mouth perfect size for meme, with a little shaped on the side.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I'm starving. Please, tell me your faves SP long fics 🙇🏻‍♀️. Your recommendations are always the best.

Good morning here’s some breakfast! I’ve read a lottttt and I’ve definitely recommended a good chunk of these before, but there’s some more recent ones on this list too! Multiple pairings, some dark subjects, some fluffier stories, all fairly long and most of these are complete! Here we go!!!

The Thief Trilogy by Wintergrew! C’mon we know I’m gonna rec that one every chance I get lmao the lore and world building is absolutely phenomenal!!!

This House of Mine by OrcaTimes another one I’ve recommended a lot BECAUSE IT EATS OK?!? One of the first sp fics I read and it’s so incredibly well written and the character dynamics slay so hard and we know I’m a Kyle girlie I LOVE him in this! Creek centric too!

Ship In A Bottle by FayOfTheForest COMFORT FIC FRFR it got me hooked on style and it’s WONDERFUL

Painted in Shrouds by courtanie THE best kysterion out there I said what I said AINT NOBODY DOIN K2 LIKE COURTANIE the plot is so incredible dude holy shit I was on the edge of my seat

The Stag Prince by SynapticFirefly dude ok y’all know I’ll read anything w my beloved elf Kyle and I KID U NOT THIS IS THE BEST KYMAN IVE EVER READ!!! The characterization is PERFECT like THIS is kyman to me, plus sot au so ofc I’m down it is WONDERFUL the adults are iconic in it too and it’s really a The Gangs All Here story

Hunger Pains by bellwether I KNOW I DONT SHUT UP ABT THIS ONE BUT I DO NOT CARE it truly altered my brain chemistry god chapter 16(?) I believe in particular fuck dude kenny in the whole thing but there’s this moment… and STAN I love my son so much and this is EASILY one of my favorite Stans ever plus I LIVE for Cartman caring about the guys in his own way this fic dude I could write an essay on it

The Illegitimate Opportunity Structure by espyonz STENNY OH MY FUCK this one is PHENOMENAL so far

Behind The Wall by Jwink85 look man ngl this one has been on my rec lists before and that’s because it’s INCREDIBLE also we know I fuck w jwink for the most part. Such an incredible portrayal of abusive relationships and so, so good. The style girlies gettin fed too FUCK I love them. Also dude jwink in general has some incredible stuff just be prepared for some dead dove action in some

speaking of consuming super dead doves, BRUH fuckin To Have And To Hold by courtanie JESUS CHRIST I KNOW IVE RECED THIS ONE BEFORE TOO BUT THATS BECAUSE ITS OBJECTIVELY ONE OF THE BEST STORIES IVE EVER READ YALL want k2? Dark Cryle? Kenny and Stan teamup? The gang forming a plan? Kyle never losing his fire despite everything? Mannnn look no further! I wanna make this a movie so bad

Knives by SparrowGrim dudeeeeeee this is such a cool premise and it feels VERY southparkian in a dystopian kind of way!

South Park Confidential by FayOfTheForest Dude I love this one we got the holy trinity of sp ships with style bunny and creek! It’s such a thrilling crime story SO cool to see characters develop and overcome their own shit, like dude!!!

You know I ain’t doin a rec list without shouting out to the homies!!! Song Of Broflovski by asteria7, pep and rm by boxwinebaddie, Entries From The Past by ViviBaby69420, A Ballad Of True Hearts by luckypoppies, ALL OF THESE KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!

Ok man that’s what I can think of as of rn, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKIN

[phyreunavailable]

Finished Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint today. Just now. Like, the web novel. God. Goddddd. Spoilers all the way to the end rant below.

I. Can't actually begin to say how much I liked this story. I couldn't put it down. It wrecked my sleep schedule the past week. I'd wake up, read, go to work, slip in a chapter or 2 over lunch, head home, keep it up. I was completely taken with the world, and it never felt weird or out of place for the events happening. A piece of fanart that I saw and thought was just something silly made me incredibly upset reading it happen.

OK actual spoilers from here. I'm putting the tag but some people are silly. THIS IS THE SPOILER. FOR THE WHOLE BOOK. DO NOT GET SPOILED. GETTING THIS BLIND IS THE IDEAL WAY. Holy shit I love time paradoxes and loops and shit. The last 51 chapters were just me with my hand to my mouth going "no fucking way" as each reveal made SENSE. Chapter 513 made me take a walk around the room. Everything past that had me seated, reading without stopping to figure everything out. Holy shit. What a good fuckin story.

HSY you are the woman ever. Anytime I needed common sense to be said to ppl you came in clutch. I only started looking at comments on each chapter after like, they emphasized in the story the comments and that was how I learned that (where I read it at least) ppl did not like JHW and I was like... whaaaaat. She's got fire and a wack mortal compass what is there to hate here. Me personally I liked basically every character. Got mad at the characters I was supposed to. Because. You know. I got really into it.

This is so long to say GOOD STORY. GOOD GOOD SO INCREDIBLY GOOD OF A STORY.

I've also learned that there is a very strange theme to stories that suddenly shoot up to top 10 in my favorites. This is the second "reader gets absorbed into fantasy world and has to make a story of their own" that I got stupidly invested in. First was School for Good and Evil. So like. Wow.

I've heard tale of sidestories and man if anybody knows where to find those in English,,, hmu,,,,,,,,,

[eshtaresht]

holy. fuckin'. DAMN. I was pretty good at predicting the plot so far, but this episode proved that stampede is going in a whole new direction for real. spoilers for ep 9!!! (and manga a bit)

first of all, we still haven't got a full story of the great fall, but I think it's something they'll reveal in this season, probably during confrontation with knives. and still no scar reveal!! I'm angy but it's something that could be relevant to the standoff with knives, hope we'll get it

the piano scene... oh we're eating GOOD, it's just so wholesome but goes to confirm my theory that twins weren't completely fine on the ship. vash feeling useless because he can't do cool plant shit, knives envying vash for being good at human shit.... oh it's great

so glad knives is getting proper characterization and not just "he evil because he evil"! the fear, the hurt, the genuine care for vash, but then frustration with him – it's right there and I'm eating it up so yummy

the way they recontextualized vash's arm loss is GORGEOUS! I've seen ppl reading this scene differently, but to me it was an act of care from naï. he looks really scared for a reason: we see that the gate consumed all matter, including the hand. vash couldn't control it, so it would only grow bigger and destroy him. NAÏ REALIZED THIS AND SAVED VASH THE ONLY WAY HE COULD

he didn't want to fight him, this was not an act of anger, like in previous versions. all he cared about in that moment was saving his twin..... and what did he get in return? a gun pointed to his face. a gun he gave vash to kill human scum. oh, the DRAMA

ahem, now to the less intense stuff

homeboy has so much trauma, like, damn... how is he gonna fit any more from his impending epic brother fight...... I'm quite curious on how they're gonna characterize him in the next season. concidering that we're taking off earlier than previous versions, he might end up with the same unhinged vibe 98' vash had, as a coping mechanism (if depression didn't work, try dissociation and silliness). but then it would be even more interesting to see meryl's and wolfwood's reactions: they knew him before the accident and saw the big sad

vash has sense in the prosthetic arm, so it must've hurt when he damaged it... probably it hurts less than the real one, and it's clearly painless to take off. but the hand seems to be rather sensitive and fic writers are gonna go crazy for this

age reveal! also brad and luida being in cryosleep makes sense, I was racking my brain on how they're still alive. seems like they're using much more plant power tho... both for cryo and the vegetation, while in manga they tried to keep it as low as possible and send signals to earth

saw someone say that they're probably not doing that here because the earth is destroyed... could be that they decided to go the hard way. but in the manga the earth was still fucked, and it wasn't clear if they communicated with the ppl left on the planet or the fleet that was in some new place. what I'm saying is, there is a possibility that they are looking for help in stampede, we just don't know it yet

meryl was so cute! go off, comedy relief goofy girl, while you can, there is more trauma coming your way :3 yeah, enjoy roberto calling you by your first name... oh it would be such a shame if he gave you his derringer before his untimely death..........

pretty weird that nobody knows why they fell on no man's land, but ppl probably were too ashamed of their past and 150 years later the new generation is oblivious. also so funny that luida has to explain what vegies are..... they have so many plants but haven't see any plants

tbh I wasn't expecting the zazie twist at all, but I'm excited! they are SO gender in stampede, might be the best redesign in the series, love me a genderless bug creature with bold fashion choices. really cool to see that storyline adapted, it was barely touched upon in the last volumes of trimax

btw the multiple bullets story about a plant, worm and human who went around figuring out if their species could coexist and just.... creating this foud family and then building a town there all were equal...... that's my favorite mb story for sure

wolfwood saying "I'm not your friend"... I know what you are. and we got a "you'll have to decide one day"... oh oh the misery, but the context was lacking. it just doesn't hit the same when he isn't daring vash to shoot him in the most homoerotic way possible. on and he looks so goofy trying to ride with his cross

in the last ep's rant I assumed that luida lied about rem saving everybody for some reason?? but no, she actually saved them, I just got a bit confused

so, as I predicted, the gang separated (tho not because of vash) and by the end of the next episode vash'll be in july and meet naï. the poster, man.... that gorgeous futuristic city is getting obliterated for sure

btw vash's gate being opposite to knives and sort of a black hole is nothing new. but there are new layers to this, like vash willingly giving away energy, but destroying things against his will, and knives with the opposite of this. ying yan twins go brrrr