#because he was a huge influence on baby adam

[augustedevane]

Character Profile: Adam Saint Byrne

WIP: Away From the Sun

Race: Dhampir 

Age: 100+ (I haven’t determined exactly what year his story will take place in… only that it’s at some point in the 21st century. Adam was born during the Victorian era, but I haven’t determined exactly what year yet.) He isn’t sure of his exact age.

Story:

Adam is the protagonist and POV character of my WIP Away From the Sun. Adam is extremely isolated. Lonely, too, though he won’t admit it to himself. His vampire half emerged when he was around five years old, when he was attacked by a vampire. Dhampirs can live their entire lives without realizing that they have vampire DNA. In dhampirs, vampiric traits tend to emerge during or following a traumatic event, particularly ones that endanger the life of the person. 

Adam does not know who his biological parents are. He was found and adopted by his father, Adam Saint Byrne, Sr. after the attack that caused his latent vampire DNA to activate. Due to the trauma of the aforementioned attack, Adam is terrified of other vampires, and never seeks them out. He prefers to keep humans at arm’s length due to his bloodlust. Due to his age, he has difficulty connecting with people. He looks to be about twenty-eight, but mentally, is far older. He has a cordial relationship with his landlady, Jia, who seems to suspect that he is not human, but tolerates him and asks no questions nonetheless. He works in a bookstore that has a cafe attached. He’s supposed to shelve books, but due to the establishment being chronically understaffed, he often finds himself making lattes, too. To satiate his hunger for blood, he kills a random human and drains their body of blood, as he fears that if he does not do so, that human will be condemned to the fate of being a vampire, which Adam sees as worse than death. He also just doesn’t want to take responsibility should he turn someone… He’s pretty good at compartmentalizing and rationalizing his killing, but sometimes, guilt slips through. He used to move around the country (I think this WIP will take place in a fictional country in Europe), but since meeting Jia, has been able to stay in his hometown for twenty-odd years. He’s bisexual, but cannot bring himself to have sex with anyone, as he fears he will become too excited during the act, lose control, and hurt or kill his partner. At times, he cannot distinguish his bloodlust from carnal lust, and this, too, frightens him. He has tried to date, both people who look his age and those who are older, but his unwillingness to open up and his aversion to sex drive potential partners away. Casual relationships do not satisfy his desire for true connection, so he remains single and mostly friendless, though he has a handful of acquaintances.

Likes:

Music, particularly 80s and 90s rock

Cloudy days and rain

Some human foods. They don’t satiate his hunger at all, but he enjoys the taste and texture of some foods. I haven’t decided exactly which foods are his favorites yet…

Old books, for the nostalgia factor

Baggy clothes

Alchemy

Cooking, though he rarely does this as he has no one to cook for

Dislikes:

Hot and sunny days (he doesn’t burn to ash in the sunlight, but sunburns easily)

Small talk

Strong smells

Eye contact

Mirrors 

Abilities:

Enhanced sense of smell

Night vision

Superior strength, he’s probably about as strong as a human bodybuilder, and would be stronger if he exercised at all

Superior speed

[donotpush]

Daily vlog

CW: mpreg, sort of magic pregnancy, birth denial, car birth

"So..." Adam smiled, holding the camera over his head, to get his best angle. "Are we filming Baby #3 birth?"

Adam asked, turning to look at his wife, and at the camera again with another smile without waiting for Alissa’s reply.

His hand traveled to spank Alisa's tight, bare belly, leaving the mark of his palm over the sensitive skin and making her groan slightly. Adam nodded enthusiastically before talking to the camera again. "Of course we are! What do you think, huh? It's a tradition at this point, right, honey?"

Alisa took a deep breath, putting herself together before looking at the camera and giving her best smile. She had been up since 5 am this morning, with a crying baby hanging from her hip and a sick toddler throwing up all day long, and honestly, the last thing she wanted to do right now was to expose herself to the camera.

But Adam insisted. How could they let their followers down without a daily vlog today?

He couldn't, and he was gonna post that vlog. Of course, who wouldn't have the energy to produce, film, edit, and post a vlog when you wake up at 10 am and do exclusively nothing all day?

Alisa knew that it was their job, that the moment they signed up for the influencer life, their whole purpose (and not like she was complaining, there were moms out there that had real jobs and still had to deal with way worse than her) but she did expect some empathy from her husband.

She was about to pop, literally, this baby out. Everything was crazy, from her hormones to the altered routine in the house, but as always, Adam was blissfully unaware of the chaos that surrounded their lives right now.

“So, there you go” Adam winked at the camera, “Actually, our next blog will probably be Baby’s #3 birth, right honey?”

Yes, it was gonna be another birth vlog. This morning when she looked at herself in the mirror, Alissa realized that her stomach had dropped, tight and bloated past her hips, the taut skin stretching to its limits today seemed like it was about to burst.

So, yes, the next video on their channel Alissa was almost 100% sure it was gonna be a birth vlog.

“...maybe.”

She really wished that this time they could’ve done something a bit more… conventional. Private, away from all the cameras and views. With their last baby, Adam had the fucking camera in her face the whole process. From the moment she woke up to contractions to the moment she popped out the kid in the birthing tub. This time, she wasn’t in the mood for all that, no matter how many views it would give them.

Adam went on, ranting about something and talking about their sponsor they got earlier in the month, a really bad marketing job for a really bad product, but Alisa didn’t hear him because Ryatt was getting something she shouldn’t have inside her mouth. The blonde groaned as she clumsily tried to kneel down, reaching over her huge stomach to take the toy out of the baby’s sticky hand.

“Adam, help me here” she breathed, pointing to the baby with her hand.

Adam gave her a look, and outside of the camera frame, signaled her to wait. He talked about another one of their sponsors, said goodbye to their subscribers and their classic outro line (family always first, and y’all are family) to their subscribers, and just then walked over to help her after he turned the camera off.

“God, fuck…!” she groaned, holding onto her stomach as she struggled to stand up straight.

“Language” Adam raised an eyebrow, pointing at Ryatt with his head.

“Bullspit, I’m so darn over with this”, pointing to herself, Alisa looked down at her gravid stomach. “I’m so fucking done. I can’t wait to get this baby out of me and… And I told you I would prefer to keep his birth private, Adam”

The tone wasn’t stern or accusative, just done— deep down, Alisa knew her husband was going to do whatever he wanted anyway. Little choice she had.

“I know, I know…” Adam shrugged, his eyebrows raising and his mouth scrunching up.

He knew, of course, he did, but to be honest, he didn’t care enough. His wife was being dramatic as if she hadn’t gone over with this two times already. But he knew that he had to add something to fill the silence that followed, he always did have something to say.

“If I could, babe, I would carry our baby for you” he sighed dramatically, turning around and away from his wife. “Actually, I wish I could be pregnant instead of you right now, honey…”

His words were left hanging in the air as Adam disappeared into the hallway to the kitchen, ready to grab a beer and sit down on the couch to relax for a while before getting to edit.

Actually, I wish I could be pregnant instead of you right now.

Alisa stared at his back as he disappeared into the kitchen. His nice legs and his toned arms, his perfect back and she couldn’t see the six-pack, but it was there. Because Adam didn’t have to carry two kids, to gain weight and to lose weight, to lose his six-pack or to see his whole body change in a matter of months.

It wasn't him who had to endure the contractions, the labor, or the long hospital nights while waiting to be able to spread his legs open and push.

He didn’t wish he could be pregnant. Oh, but Alisa did.

***

Alisa made breakfast, did laundry, got through the morning with two kids under 5 and all while dealing with those awful cramps that kept interrupting her. They weren't contractions, she knew those pretty well, but they were the foreword of a long story.

Adam? He edited their latest video and went to take a nap on the couch.

Without opening his eyes, Adam let out a small groan and tilted his head to hide his face against one of the cushions. Something had interrupted his sleep, but he didn’t hear Ryatt's cries or Bobby playing loudly somewhere in the house, nor his wife complaining about something.

So he did what everyone would do, he didn’t even bother fully opening his eyes and tried to go fall back into a deep slumber.

But something was off. His head was feeling dizzy and his whole body was… acting funny. An overall feeling of being sick, something he ate, probably.

He shifted, moving his hips to turn to his side, and he frowned when he felt something in his stomach move. With a groan, the hand that rested between his thighs slid off from there to move to his abs, rubbing the soft spot trying to ease whatever was grumbling inside his tummy.

Soft, a bit harder if he pressed down. But it didn’t have to be soft, he hit the gym 6 days a week and had washboard abs, he was the envy of all the suburban dads in their neighborhood. Suddenly, his stomach fussed again, and this time it came accompanied by a cold free of air brushing against his skin, making him shiver.

Half asleep, fighting to pull a strand of consciousness and get himself up fully, Adam’s features turned into a confused grimace as his mind finished coming back to this reality. When he finally opened his blue eyes, covering his face with his hands to dismiss the headache that the sunlight from the windows gave him, he immediately knew something wasn’t right.

His free hand was still rubbing over his stomach, and it was still… It was round. Round and firm, the protuberance that rested under the palm of his hand.

“What…?” Adam mumbled, confusion slowly taking over his sleepiness and pulling him back to reality.

He was wide awake now, his body and mind alert. When he looked down at himself, the scream of horror that left his lips almost deafened him, leaving his eardrums ringing loudly and his heart hammering against his chest.

It felt cold. The cold breeze brushing against his skin because his white shirt was now all lifted over to his chest, exposing his warm skin to the air. His shirt was lifted because where it was supposed to be a flat, toned stomach, now there was a fat, round belly, nothing like what he had ever seen before.

He must have eaten something bad, something that made him bloat and just feel weird overall, but bloat like this?

In front of him, his stomach wasn't just bloated, it felt tight and hot at the touch and the skin was itchy, stretched to the limit in what seemed to be the few hours he was asleep. His abs were gone, and now a gravid mount of flesh sat there, huge and tender.

From confusion, Adam's mind raced to fear, because there was no logical or reasonable explanation to any of this. If it was something he ate, then it was something that made him terribly wrong and he probably should head to the doctor ASAP.

But, deep down, Adam knew it wasn't something he ate. Under a thinning layer of denial, he knew.

His chest wrenched with his agitated breaths, and Adam tried to lift himself up from the couch. He failed, not used to the weight that he carried now on his middle (God, he was heavier now) and the only thing he could do was to lay there for a few seconds, staring down.

At his belly.

He felt like he needed to puke when unexpectedly something inside him squirmed.

He closed his eyes tightly to avoid nausea rising up in his throat, and the deprivation of one of his senses seemed to whip up the other ones. He could feel how hot the skin that covered his now rounded stomach was, how hot his body was, how heavy he felt and how something was squirming inside him.

His left hand moved over his stomach, right under his left rib, and he swallowed. As soon as his hand pressed down against the tense flesh, another tiny hand pressed back from the inside.

"Fuck, fuck fuck..." gripping at the couch's back, a loud moan escaped from his lips as he curled his fingers around the fabric above the couch, holding onto it desperately, lifting himself up.

It was, to say at least, weird to carry himself around now. The few seconds that he ran, well, more like waddled, towards the bathroom were something. So this was what it was like?

The image in the mirror proved what Adam already knew.

I wish I could be pregnant.

He stared at his reflection, turning to the side to let his eyes travel from the top of his head to his middle, then turned to his other side and to the front again. His hand moved to rest on top of his stomach as if he needed another confirmation that it was there and it was real.

He thought about it for a moment, before he pinched the tight skin of his belly. He hoped he would wake up, there was a small part of him that still hoped this was just a bad dream and his mind was doing some crazy tricks while his real body was still asleep on the couch. But he was awake.

The waistband of his sweatpants moved down a centimeter. He looked down, his eyes wide open as he witnessed right in front of him how his stomach swelled, the skin extended and shifting as his stomach grew in size.

***

The front door opened, and Bobby rushed in, throwing his frog backpack next to the door before Alisa followed him with Ryatt clinging to her hip. Adam made his way to her as quickly as he could.

“Oh! Mommy, look!” Bobby shouted as soon as he saw him, his little finger pointing to Adam’s gravid stomach. “Daddy has Little brother now! Look!”

But Adam couldn't even stop to look at him, because he could only focus on the fact that where Alisa was supposed to have a nine-month overdue belly, there was just a flat stomach. Fuck.

They stood in front of each other, Alisa looked at him, then down at his belly, and then up at him again.

“Well, I guess wishes do come true, honey!” The tone was so cheerful that it made Adam’s blood boil.

Probably…his hormones messing with him? As if that was the least of his problems. A cramp took over him, painful enough to bring a frown to his face and make him rub the side of his belly.

“We need to go to the hospital!”

“Why the rush?”

A dark spot started to spread all over Adam’s grey sweatpants as a gush of amniotic fluid came out of him.

“My…your…my water just broke!”

“You need to change, and we need to take the kids to my mom’s house…”

“Why are you so calm?”

“Relax, honey” she sighed “I have done this two times already! It’s gonna be just fine. You have to change, go get the hospital bag, oh, and of course get the camera!”

“We are not… fuck… filming this” he breathed, gripping the table next to him when another sharp pain took over him.

“What do you mean?” Alisa frowned as she picked up Bobby's backpack again “It's a tradition at this point. Of course, we're filming. It’s going to be a hit.”

Besides the fact that all of this escaped all logic and reason, there was a tangible reality. Something that was happening right here, right now, and it was the fact that Adam was in labor. Didn't matter how much he tried to deny what was going on, to say he was still dreaming, because the pains that were shooting through his middle, contracting the muscles and making him whine felt very real and were happening, quicker and faster every minute.

He took a deep breath, moving his hand under his belly to lift it slightly, hoping to ease the pain or the pressure that was starting to build up on his hips, but it didn’t work. He wasn't sure how much time he had before it got actually serious, but he did know that after his water broke, it was little.

**

“Turn that off…” Adam titled the camera that rested on the car seat cup holder away, his free hand flying to wipe sweat from his forehead. “Oh, fuck…”

Alisa tilted the camera back to its original position. Her husband shifted on the passenger's seats, his both hands now busy rubbing the contracting bump that rested between his open thighs.

Well, at least now he knew that contractions were more painful than a kick in the balls.

“Oh, oh, ah!” He cried out, his body tightening up, and a low groan leaving him as he leaned forward pressing his palms against the dashboard and panting heavily. “Fuck, I need you to… ugh… I need you to drive faster, honey.”

“Babe, I’m going as fast as I can,” Alisa replied, looking at him through the corner of her eye. “Just breathe, okay?”

Looking outside the window, Adam tried to find a distraction. Anything, really, that made him not think about the increasing pressure that was building between his legs and about how low the baby was.

He shifted in his seat, his hips swinging back and front trying to find a spot that didn't make him feel so miserable. Placing a hand on the side of the seat and another on the grab handle, Adam leaned forward and spread his legs as another loud grunt escaped his lips, his eyes closing tight and his breath picking up again when another tight contraction hit him.

He tried breathing, in and out just as he would tell Alisa to do, but it wasn’t doing shit.

The heavy weight on his hips and pelvis was getting closer and closer to coming out. Adam didn’t want it to come out. At least not here, in the fucking car in the middle of the road.

“We’re five minutes away from the hospital” Alisa reassured, her hand patting his tense thigh. “Just breathe”

“I don’t… ughn, fuck! I don’t know if I can… oh… hold it in that much longer” Adam panted, moving to unclasp the seatbelt that now pressed uncomfortably against his stomach. “Fuck, there’s pressure. It feels like… I have to push!”

“How do you even know that you have to push?” Stopping at a red light, Alissa raised both eyebrows before tilting to face him.

“Because it’s coming out!” Adam cried, moving back on his seat to prop up both feet against the dashboard, throwing his head back as he moaned.

“Just breathe. We’re almost there”

Just breathe. We’re almost there. The words were an echo, and Adam was sure that he said those exact phrases before, before the births of their two kids, in this exact same car. But he didn’t realize how useless, how annoying having someone repeating just calm down was.

God, fuck, he wondered how Alissa didn’t just slap him those times. If anyone was going to tell him to calm the fuck down again, he was going to kill someone.

His murder instincts were quickly dismissed when he closed his eyes, his hands moving to slide under his belly and lifting it slightly, as if it could help to ease the pressure on his pelvis. With a cry, he shifted forward, now moving his hands to slide under his thighs, lifting his hips from the car seat.

It was coming. Now. And out.

He could feel his own body pushing against his wishes, and the more he tried to avoid it, the worse it was, the baby helpless making its way down his pelvis and towards his hole. It felt as if at the first bump Alisa hit on the road the baby would just pop out of him.

He didn’t notice when he pushed back in the seat, breathing heavily through his nose as he pressed himself down against the seat, trying to prevent anything from coming out.

But it was useless because his commitment lasted little when his brain was overwhelmed by the urge to just allow his body to do what it had to do. To push.

The baby’s head was right there. Adam’s hand slid between his legs, the palm of his hand pressing against his bulging hole, the head sitting behind his entrance and almost ready to start crowning. Almost out of him.

“…fuck!” he writhed, gritting his teeth as he kicked against the car floor. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The fingers of his free hand gripped at the grab handle, knuckles turning white, and his other hand was busy pressing against his hole, trying to keep the head from coming any further. It was useless because the head was still pushing its way down, out of him on its own.

He could feel the bulge against his palm, growing ever so slowly as Alissa pressed her foot on the pedals. Adam threw his head back, closing his eyes shut and trying to focus on his breath. The same advice he always gave: breathe.

His chest rose slowly as he inhaled, then shakily exhaled through his closed lips. It should be fine, he just had to breathe —in and out and counting to five— focus on remaining calm, and he could just make it to the hospital. They were just a few minutes away, all he had to do was… push.

“Oh, fuck, it’s coming!” he screamed, kicking his feet in the air, his hips shifting forwards and to the seat edge. “Honey, Alissa, it’s right there”

Alissa tilted her head, looking away from the road for a brief moment to face her husband. She found herself contemplating an image that, deep down in her stomach, in a very hidden spot and a very small dose, made her happy: she got exactly what she wanted. Her husband going through all of the wonderful miracles of birth.

Adam panted, the tense orb his stomach had become contracting and tensing in front of him, his hands gripping at the taunt red skin, furiously trying to relieve the pain or the pressure, his body almost shaking by the urge of pushing the baby that was starting to crown. His face was red and sweaty, hands and all of his body straining and tense.

Alissa, rightfully, stopped at a red light, a bunch of cars passing in front of them.

“Don’t stop, fuck, it’s…!” Adam shouted, but then his words became a muffled groan as he gritted his teeth, pushing his chin to his chest. “I can’t hold it in, I’m pushing!”

Even against his wishes, his body was pushing. Adam found himself trying to hold the baby in, to not give in to the urge, but his body was pushing. His stomach contracted and he found himself tensing, chin to chest, and gripping at the grab handle as he pushed. He counted to three and pushed again when another cramp took over him.

“Fuck!” he shouted, feeling the head stretching him open, making its way out. Adam reached with a free hand to press his hand over his wet, birth-fluid-stained shorts, only to feel the start of a bulge in his pants.

The pressure of the head right about to crown was hell. It only made him want to push to get over it, to push more to get the head to a full crown and get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, but god fuck he didn’t want to give birth to this baby in the car.

“It’s crowning, the head’s-... nhgn, what am I supposed to do!?” it was more a whimper than a question, and Adam found himself kicking in the air, biting his lower lips until he almost drew blood. “Shit, shit, shit…! Ughn!”

“I don’t know!” Alissa stepped on the gas and accelerated. “Don’t push! Just… wait! We’re almost there, just five minutes away from the hospital.”

Adam nodded, then shook his head, both hands moving to cup the underside of his belly, trying to relieve the pressure that was weighing him down. It didn’t work, and he found himself trying to contain a moan when another contraction rippled through his body, a gush of amniotic fluid rushing from between his legs and dripping to the car floor.

His hips jerked frantically as he rocked forth and back slightly, trying to find any angle that was comfortable for him to keep this baby in, but it was terribly useless because, with every movement of his body, the baby's head seemed to come closer and closer to a full crown.

“Ughn…!” he moaned, his fingers gracelessly trying to slide under the hem of his pants in order to pull them down. The baby was coming. “Fuck, it’s coming, I’m pushing….!”

His finger’s ministrations were interrupted when he interrupted when another contraction took over him, all of his focus on pushing. He gripped the sides of his belly, leaving white marks on the red skin, as he closed his eyes and whimpered.

“Oh, oh– it’s out, the head’s out!”

It wasn’t necessary for him to say it out loud because Alissa’s attention was dangerously divided between looking at the road and staring down between her husband's legs. His pants were dark and wet, stained by amniotic fluid, and the baby’s head bulged out of them almost obscenely -–god, it was huge—, only contained from coming further by the fabric of the pants.

“Fuck— I need to push, I need to push, I’m pushing!” he moaned, throwing his head back against the car seat and jerking his hips forward, his hands desperately trying to undo his shorts. “Ughn…the…mhgm…pants! Help me!”

“I can’t, hands at 9 and 3!”

With a loud whimper, Adam finally managed to pull his shorts down enough to allow the baby’s head to pop out of him free, a gush of fluid dampening his seat as the head dangled between his legs. His body shook at the feeling of the head stretching him open on its biggest point, and then the relief when it was finally out. Alissa stared in horror as her husband held the baby’s head in hand with one hand between his legs.

Alissa reached a hand to help Adam slide his pants down more, his body contorting as he pulled forward, pushing his hips towards the free space of whatever was left in the car. Now with his pants to his ankles, his body tensed once again, and he squirmed on his seat as he focused on the next contraction that rippled through his body.

“...fuck, nhgn!” his face became red as his feet kicked the car floor, kicking and screaming as he pushed. “Nhgn!”

With his next push, the baby’s body almost came shooting out of him. He screamed in pain as he felt the body coming out of him, the shoulders being even worse than the head. But before he could realize, it was over. A second later he heard a heavy cry, and the newborn resting against his chest.

His body slumped against the seat. He looked outside the windows, seeing the well known entrance of the hospital as Alissa parked the car, parking it at the nearest spot available. Before unclasping her seatbelt, Alissa reached to grab the videocamera. Adam stared at it before he spoke.

"You filmed it, right?”

[whateverisbeautiful]

🀄️reflecting on richonne

Rick and Michonne have had many similarities in their individual journeys. Some tragic, like both losing their firstborn sons and having to kill their best friend from the old world after that said-friend tried to take Judith from them. But one of the really sweet similarities is them both having an elder that influenced their lives. 

Both R&M had an elder figure that really believed in them and helped them hold onto hope, not just for the greater good of everyone but for their own life too. And both these elders passed down a memorable, powerful, and needed phrase that helped Rick and Michonne believe love was still out there for them. Which then helped advance Richonne’s exceptional love story.

For Rick, that elder mentor was Hershel.

I love Hershel and I believe he truly was the second-most influential character to guide Rick. (With Michonne of course being number one.) In that lovely scene tending to a plant during the s4 premiere, Hershel passes down a sentiment to Rick that could be the thesis of the whole show and also the exact message Rick needed to know for his own life. 

It’s when Hershel tells Rick, “Things break, but they can still grow.” 

After so much loss, Rick’s family probably felt like it would be broken forever, especially once Carl became the only person left that he knew from his world before. In s3, Rick also hit a breaking point after all the loss, stress, and pressure he’d been carrying. 

Yet, despite all that brokenness in his life, something beautiful and better than he could’ve imagined still grew. Hershel had to remind Rick that, even when things break, whole new plants are still possible. And by embracing that thought, it helped Rick to eventually embrace the love and fruitful life that was out there for him. 

That idea of broken things growing and becoming new and bountiful is beautifully executed in Rick and Michonne’s story. They restored so much in each others lives and a whole new healthy plant is exactly what Rick got through Michonne and their wonderful Grimes 2.0 family.

Imo it’s no coincidence that right after this farming scene between Hershel and Rick, we immediately hear Michonne riding in on a horse as Rick stands up like he’s been magnetically summoned to greet her. Michonne’s return meant a crucial part of Rick’s whole new plant had arrived. 😌

For Michonne, that impactful elder was Deanna.

The more time goes on, the more I become a fan of Deanna. Because I know a Richonner when I see one lol. 

I love how much Deanna saw the potential in Rick and Michonne and tried to get them to see what she saw in them. (I also feel like Deanna knew how special Michonne must have been to Rick right from the jump cuz I’d imagine Aaron told her that the only reason TF agreed to go to ASZ is because Rick does what Michonne wants 😋)

But I especially love Deanna’s deathbed scenes with Michonne. It’s so significant for Michonne’s journey and heart. I adore how passionately Deanna wanted to use her final moments to speak with Michonne woman-to-woman and be adamant that Michonne go after what she wants for herself personally. (Plus it’s a sweet way to set up Richonne, which would be canon just two episodes later.)

Deanna’s pertinent phrase during their chat is, “Someday this pain will be useful to you.”

Having endured so much trauma, it’s meaningful for Michonne to be reminded that valuable things can still come out of pain. And the pain isn’t just useful to others but “to you.”

As I reflected, I realized one of the first ways we saw Michonne’s pain prove extremely useful to her was when she first arrived at the prison. Because I believe Michonne being a mother, and especially a mother who experienced the pain of losing a child, is what even led her to TF in the first place. 

It hit me how a huge reason Michonne even chose to first pull up to that prison fence is because she knew a baby was in there. 

Michonne could have easily just kept walking after seeing Glenn and Maggie get taken by Merle. I mean she had very little reason to trust anyone after Woodbury. But Glenn and Maggie were talking about a baby and they had formula and I think that maternal instinct largely led Michonne to take the big risk of showing up to this new prison group. Because she had to get that formula to that baby. She has to ensure that baby would be okay. 

And little did she know it was her baby she was saving. Making this one of the hundreds of reasons I’ll forever love Michonne and Judith’s mother-daughter story. 

It was the pain of Michonne’s past as a mother that was useful in leading her to a whole new family, where she got to not just love again but be loved again by her kids and her husband. 

I appreciate Deanna for passing down her wisdom and having so much belief in Michonne, and in Rick. And I appreciate Deanna for being a Richonne stan to the end lol. Like I’m glad that in establishing her as a character who can really read people, they have her being adamant to pair Rick and Michonne together because she could tell they were uniquely cut from the same cloth and compatible in every way.

I also think Deanna saw herself and Reg in Rick and Michonne and wanted to pass the baton to the two of them because she felt they were the power couple most capable of building the future she believed in. Just like Deanna expressed how happy she was to build a life with her family from start to finish, she wanted Michonne to know she could have that too because it’s really what Michonne most wanted. 

But just like Reg and Deanna weren’t only leaders and builders together, Deanna wanted Michonne to know that the person you work so well with can also be the person you fall in love with and who is deeply in love with you too. 

I know Deanna would be celebrating when she saw Rick and Michonne finally realize what she’s been knew, which is that they’re perfect for each other. And even with Rick’s “Farmer Rick” era being short-lived, I know Hershel would still be so proud of the way Rick and Michonne grew a beautiful new plant together. 🥰

[cyarsk52-20]

The Idol on HBO: Everything We Know About the Salacious Series

YouTube/HBO

From the creator of Euphoria comes another shocking drama.

The Idol was the most controversial show in town before it even got a premiere date, but maybe that's how the creators like it. After all, the steamy new HBO series is being billed as a toxic love story from the “sick and twisted minds” of The Weeknd (born Abel Tesfaye) and Sam Levinson, the latter being the nepo-baby son of Barry Levinson who created Euphoria and directed Malcolm & Marie.

So what's all the fuss about? Here's everything we know (and have heard) about the series:

What’s it about?

After her last tour is cut short by a nervous breakdown, the up-and-coming pop star Jocelyn (Lily-Rose Depp) falls under the influence of Tedros, a shadowy nightclub impresario (The Weeknd). 

Who else is in the cast?

Oh, it's stacked. Dan Levy, Hari Nef, Hank Azaria, Troye Sivan, Jennie from Blackpink, Suzanna Son, Rachel Sennott, Jane Adams, Moses Sumney, Eli Roth, Mike Dean, Karl Glusman, and the late Anne Heche are all listed on the show's IMDb page, though apparently, some roles that were shot ended up being scrapped from the final version. 

Why are people skeptical?

Levinson was already a, let's say, questionable figure in the HBO-verse, having run the Euphoriaset somewhat chaotically. He wrote every episode himself (to the chagrin of Barbie Ferreira) and is alleged to be kind of a control enthusiast, hovering somewhere between auteur and nightmare. So it came as a surprise, maybe, but not a shock when Rolling Stone published a bombshell article about The Idol being an expensive mess.

The key takeaways: Levinson halted production after 80% of the planned series had been shot, scrapped everything, fired the director Amy Seimetz and took over, ballooning the budget and throwing production into chaos. The Weeknd was busy with his music career but apparently wanted more of the spotlight, Levinson made last-minute changes to every script (this causes huge production delays and is super expensive in the industry), people were hired and fired quickly and without notice, and the sex scenes…are gonna be controversial. Multiple insiders who spoke to RScalled the original version of the story a “satire” of exploitation in Hollywood but fear that the finished product will just be plain exploitative. One telling detail is that while Levinson was busy with Euphoria for much of the early days of shooting, he did apparently show up to watch Lily-Rose Depp's first sex scene.

The Weeknd then responded to the article in a way that made people really scratch their heads. In the Rolling Stone article, sources claimed the show was overhauled because the singer felt it was too focused on the “female perspective.” 

“It was like any rape fantasy that any toxic man would have in the show—and then the woman comes back for more because it makes her music better,” one production member told Rolling Stoneof the revised version. 

So how did Tesfaye respond? On March 1, he tweeted, “@RollingStone, did we upset you?” alongside a scene from the show where his character calls Rolling Stone “irrelevant” and turns down a cover on Jocelyn's behalf.

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Aside from the fact that The Weeknd appears to have missed the point of this scene entirely, people on social media felt this was an immature response to pretty serious allegations. 

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When does it come out?

In spite of the chaos surrounding it, the hotly anticipated series is finally set to premiere on June 4 at 9 p.m. 

What are the reviewers saying? 

Nothing good.

The first reviews rolled in after the HBO Max series premiered at the Cannes Film Festival on Monday, May 22, and woof, they're not great, Bob!

Here's a sampling of some headlines published on Tuesday, May 23: 

“The Idol Is More Toxic and Way Worse Than You’ve Heard” —Rolling Stone 

“The Idol, Cannes Review: Lily Rose Depp's ‘Girl Power’ Can't Save This Colossal Sleazy Flop” —The Telegraph

“The Idol's Depiction of Rape Culture Is Shocking and Lazy” —Daily Beast

“The Idol Review: Lily-Rose Depp and The Weeknd in an HBO Series That’s More Regressive Than Transgressive” —The Hollywood Reporter

“The Weeknd and Sam Levinson’s The Idol,Starring Lily-Rose Depp, Plays Like a Sordid Male Fantasy: TV Review” —Variety 

What are the cast and creators saying?

Lily-Rose Depp answered questions about the gratuitous sex during a press conferences at the Cannes Film Festival. 

“I think that something about Jocelyn is just that she's a born and bred performer,” she said, per People. “I think that extends to every aspect of her life, not just her professional life. I think that the way that she dresses, for example, is her trying to tell you something all the time or say something to the people that she's around or express herself in some kind of way.”

She added, “And I also think that the occasional bareness of the character physically mirrors the bareness that we get to see emotionally in her.”

The Weeknd, Lily-Rose Depp, and Sam Levinson at the Cannes Film Festival. Samir Hussein

In the same press conference, Levinson said, “It's funny, I think that sometimes things that might be revolutionary are taken too far. I think we live in a very sexualized world.”

He continued, “There's two things that happen, when you have a character that has such a strong sense of self and such a strong sexual sense, is you simultaneously end up underestimating her, because you're not quite sure. ‘Well, why is she doing this? Why is she wearing this? Why is she singing about this?’”

“And at the same time, it's also what alerts people, it's what attracts an audience,” he added. “It's what attracts an imagination. And I think it's very true to what almost every pop star is doing these days.”

This article will be updated.

Sent from my iPhone

What do you think? Is the criticism too much or is justified?

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + INUMAKI TOGE || THEIR S/O TURNING INTO BABIES/TODDLERS

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + inumaki toge from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 16 february

↳ pronouns : mainly for she/her 

↳ request : How will inumaki , yuta( if you write for him ) andfushiguro react to their female turning into a child because of a cure or something and being afraid of themI really need fluff after chapter 137

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i went a little off the rails with this one ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but that’s okay! other than that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you are welcomed back any time soon ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

When Fushiguro found you in a child form, it was probably when he woke up to find a random child sleeping next to him - which he sure you were - before sitting up in surprise at the discovery.

You’ll probably wake up to the sudden movement and to find an erratic-haired boy looking down at you with widened eyes is pretty scary to any child and you’ll probably hide behind the blankets as protection.

He will text Itadori and Kugisaki to come to his room and once they arrived, they are shocked as Fushiguro is but the weird thing is, you seem to be more open with them than you are with your boyfriend - it’s Itadori’s smile, I know it is.

You will let both of them carry you but once they make you turn to face Fushiguro, you just hide your face in the crook of their necks or hide behind their legs with pending tears in your eyes - lowkey, Fushiguro is hurt.

Itadori will mention Fushiguro to relax his facial expression and be more gentle but that somehow is gonna be a long lesson.

Kugisaki will dress you up in the cutest outfits and spin you around in glee at how adorable you look to her - you are basically her doll.

They probably remember you getting hit with something during last night's mission but it seemed to do no damage to you, so you all left it alone until now - Ieiri probably said it will last for like a day or so.

Gojo will find you the most adorable and will hold you the most out of all the first-year (Nanami will take you away from him) and he finds it really hilarious that you are scared of Fushiguro.

Fushiguro will summon his divine dogs or rabbits to make you come closer to him and they love your new form since they recognise your scent and you just look adorable to them - they will let you cuddle when with all your heart's content.

It is when Fushiguro kneels down to your height and holds his hand out flat, he tries to get close to you (since you are occupied with the dogs/rabbits) - you know when an owner asks his dog for its paw…..yeah….

Itadori and Kugisaki will complain about his technique and mention to him that you are not a dog but when you cutely place your hand on top of his after some hesitation, suddenly your fear of him disappears and your attention is just on him.

When you look up to see his green eyes, you will mention how pretty they are and you’ll want him to carry you so you can get a closer look at them.

“Pwetty Mimi!” you stated (hands are probably on his cheeks) when Fushiguro finally carried you in his arms and he will start to blush profusely before you wrap your arms around his neck in complete happiness - wow...he’s not so scary now is he? 

You are quite affectionate as a child and will probably hold him really tight, lay your head on his shoulders, play with his hair in fascination and probably stare at his face.

After that you will refuse anyone else to carry you, even Maki tried and you were adamant that Fushiguro was the only one that could hold you - he is prideful of this but won’t express it.

When 24 hours go by and you wake up in your original form, expect Fushiguro to ask you if you want children in the future or something about waiting until you are both 30 to have them - Itadori, Kugisaki and Gojo will show you the many pictures and videos they have taken and will show you many videos of you being scared of Fushiguro to tease him.

Just like Fushiguro, when Inumaki wakes up to a random child on his bed, he will be extremely surprised but will probably fall down from his bed in shock.

When he gets up and takes a proper look at the child, he realises that it is you but now you are awake and looking at him with widened and teary eyes - a guy with weird symbols on his mouth is quite scary in my opinion.

The best person for Inumaki to call is Maki since he is worried that you will find a huge panda - who is a cursed doll - scary.

So when Maki arrives and sees a smaller version of you, she will instantly look at you with a soft look before carrying you in her arms - you seem to take a quite liking to her as you show her a bright small.

This little interaction between you and Maki makes Inumaki a little jealous since you are his significant other.

Inumaki and Maki will take you to Ieiri only to remember that you were hit with a technique with no damage, so they assumed that was the cause for your change - Ieiri will tell everyone that the change is temporary and that in 24 hours, you’ll be back to normal.

When you meet Panda, you have the same reaction as you did with Maki - much to Inumaki’s surprise - and he would carry you on his shoulders since that’s what kids love.

Panda is the type to throw you into the sky before catching you, causing you to giggle loudly and it is quite fun for you since you are high in the air and all that.

When the first-years meet you, they are really shouted to see their strong sorcerer of a senior to be a form of a small child but find you really adorable, you also made Fushiguro smile which caused Maki to be surprised.

Probably when you weren’t scared of Inumaki anymore was when he caught you after Panda threw you too high into the sky and you saw him as your hero - Maki will scream at Panda for his carelessness.

After that, you were struck right by Inumaki’s side and he found that really adorable since you were now so small and just plainly adorable - you really love gently patting your small hands on his marks that he has with concentrated glassy eyes. 

You really like being carried on his shoulder since - you wanna see the whole world~ - and it’s weirdly comfortable to lay your head on top of his head when you feel like it.

His hair is really soft just like a pillow.

When the adults see you, Gojo will take many pictures and give you candy while Nanami will try to stop his senior since he doesn’t want his behaviour to influence you.

Inumaki will probably love taking some pictures of you especially when you are eating something like an onigiri - you will also find it confusing why he says what he says before just leaving it and calling him ‘weird’

When the 24 hours are up, Inumaki will probably explain everything to you before Maki and Panda rush in to make sure you are back to normal - they will ask you to pull you a photo album with your baby pictures since they really want to know what you looked like as a child (they want to know if you would look the same as you did before). Inumaki will ask if you want children and when you want them since he really thinks your children would look really adorable.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[whereisten]

Devotion/Obsession

A Jaehyun fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Jaehyun is new to town and wants you to show him around. But the truth is, he has known you for a while..

Pairing: Lucifer!Jaehyun x female reader

Other Characters: Husband!Kun

Genre: angst, smut, horror

Warnings: cursing, alcohol use, cheating, stalking, obsession, possessiveness, smut: breeding kink, unprotected sex, nipple sucking, size kink, fingering, oral sex (female receiving), multiple orgasms, c*eampie, pregnancy, character death.

Word Count: 8.9K

(A/N: okay ummm...this is influenced by stories told in the Bible, I hope I do not offend you with my interpretation, Jaehyun in this is a huge stalker!! This isn’t love, he’s obsessed and it’s unhealthy. But I hope you guys enjoy❤️ THANK YOUUU ARI FOR PROOFREADING THIS FOR ME I LOVE YOUUUU❤️❤️❤️❤️😭)

——————

Long ago, there were two beings on Earth, Adam and Eve. They were created by God and tainted by Lucifer, the serpent. The serpent found himself in love with God’s creation, Eve, for she bears a striking resemblance to his first love, Lilith, whom God cursed and sent away. 

God’s most beautiful angel, Lucifer, fell in love with Lilith even though he was forbidden by God to do so. He tried to fight for her in a war against the angels of Heaven, but was struck down to Hell where he could rule the dark. He saw Lilith become a demon. Her beauty had gone away as God made her ugly and it hurt Lucifer to even look at her anymore.

And so, Lucifer turned to Eve and loved her instead, polluting her mind, body, and soul and thus, causing her to be cursed by God as well. She was hidden by God from Lucifer. He grew angry and decided to continue to defy God by living on Earth and causing havoc on both small and large scales.

He went by the name of Jaehyun now, a strikingly handsome bachelor with a mansion on the outskirts of a popular city. He stayed on Earth at the exact point above hell where his throne rested so he could cause evil to run through the city unstopped.

He never forgot about Eve. After all these years, his soul still yearned for her. He cursed at God for hiding her from him and for taking not one, but two of his dearest loves away.

He would walk through the city and see all the couples enjoying each other’s company. They’d laugh and smile and he’d wish nothing but pain for them. If he couldn’t be happy, why should they?

Then one day..he saw her..he saw Eve.

————

You were packing away fruits, placing the oranges in an organized pattern so they wouldn’t fall to the floor of the supermarket. He saw you, delicately picking up the spoiled fruits and placing them into the bin to throw away later. You had a small smile on your face that made you look sweet and your fingers were soft, gentle. You looked at each fruit with adoration in your eyes, like you treasured the round balls of nectar as if they were made of gold.

He walked closer to you, still staring intently.

He wondered how you could exist, how you were here with her face, her body, her hair..you were her. It didn’t take long for him to notice the sparkling ring on your wedding finger. But he didn’t care about that, now that he had you, he would never let you go.

Even if you didn’t sound like Eve or looked at him the way she did when she was in love with him, he had to have you.

“Hello, can I help you, sir?” You turned to the man you noticed had been hanging around you for a bit too long.

Your voice was heavenly, it was the best thing he’d ever heard.

You were looking at him, awaiting his answer when you placed an apple onto the shelf. You didn’t see that placing it in that exact spot would cause for another to fall. But Jaehyun already knew.

He quickly knelt down beside you and caught the green apple as it fell.

You looked down at him and gasped. How could he move so quickly.

He stood up straight, still locking eyes with you. A smile creeps across his face.

“Here.” He hands you the apple as you look down at it still in shock.

“Oh..thank you.” You chuckled and took it from him, then started to walk away after feeling..odd.

He walked towards you. “Umm..excuse me, miss? I’m new here, and I just want to know..where can I find the best coffee?”

He looked down at your name tag.

“Y/n..” he says quietly.

His voice is smooth and nice, just as nice as his perfect face, you thought it ought to have been carved by God himself. His jawline was perfect and his eyes were magnetic, you couldn’t look away.

However, you should’ve. You were married after all.

“Oh..hmm about five blocks south, you’ll find Johnny’s Café, it’s quite nice actually.”

Jaehyun wanted to ask you to join him, just so he could talk to you, just so he could get close to you and have you firmly in his grasp, never to let you disappear again. But he didn’t, he decided to wait, if he scared you away, that would only make it worse for not only him, but for you as well. The last thing he wanted was to hold you against your will just because you resembled her.

“Thank you, y/n, I’ll see you next time.” He walked close to you and nodded slowly. As if hypnotized, you never let his eyes go while you nodded.

He walked by you, leaving you breathless and almost star struck, but who was he? Why did he have this interesting glow about him that made him stand out from everyone else?

Later that day, Jaehyun followed you home. His black Lamborghini wasn’t discreet to say the least, so he had to trail behind a few hundred feet. He could see you jamming out to music in your car as you left work. 

You were adorable and happy, he loved seeing you like this.

He parked far away from your house, he walked over in a long black trench coat and watched as you went inside. You were greeted by a man that looked like...Adam..

His eyes grew into glowing red orbs, he tried hard to hold back his horns and nails.

“This is God’s idea of a joke, isn’t it?” He spoke to himself. Not only were you the exact replica of Eve, your husband was an exact replica of Adam.

You hugged your husband, Kun, hard and smiled widely, happy to see him after a long day at work.

The door clicks shut and Jaehyun stands there with steam escaping his hot ears. He had to figure out how to get rid of Kun.

————

[The Next Day]

You’re lugging around a large box of lettuce through the aisles when you see him..again.

“Hello, y/n, do you need help?” 

You stare at him. “W-what are you doing here?”

He was handsome, you had to admit, your heart couldn’t stop beating like crazy when he showed up. He was stylish in his turtleneck and jean jacket. He smelled refreshing like amber and honey.

“What? A man can’t shop for groceries?” His dimples peeked through as he smiled and tilted his head.

“Oh-no it’s just, two days in a row?”

You furrowed your brows when you sensed something wasn’t right.

Jaehyun could tell that your heart rate was rising because of his presence, you looked around like you were nervous.

“I know, it’s weird, right? But the truth is..I just wanted to see you again..” he said huskily. You felt your chest weaken.

You put the box down and turned to him. “Oh so you’re one of those creeps? Well, I’m flattered but..I’m also married.”

“That’s alright..” he gave a small smile, his dimples showing through again. You turned away. 

“So...what are you looking for today?”

“A friend.”

“A friend?” You chuckled.

He swayed from side to side and looked up to the ceiling. “Okay, I’ll get to the point..there’s a..korean barbecue place that I wanted to try..are you free after work?”

He was so strange but had an aura about him that you couldn’t ignore. His features were sharply defined and his eyes never let you go. You should’ve been creeped out but you weren’t, for he was warm and intriguing. Lately, you felt like Kun was so busy with work. You’d get home and wait hours for him, your friends were busy as well as they were either taking college classes or travel king constantly.

Sometimes, you felt you were alone, so why not start something new.

You hummed before answering. 

Jaehyun watched your cute expression, the way you looked to the floor and stuck your hands in your apron.

“I guess..I am free after work.” You nodded.

Jaehyun nearly jumped up and down right inside the store. He grinned from ear to ear.

“Just don’t pull any moves, I’m married okay?”

You teased and felt your face become warm.

“I promise I won’t.”

The two of you went to dinner at the Korean barbecue place Jaehyun wanted to try. He was enraptured by you, caught up in your presence. He was so in love and you had no idea.

You told him about places to visit in the city and he told you about where he had come from. He made up a city and a backstory to relate to you, telling you that he had investments that started from his grandparents and that’s how he made money.. He’d do anything just to keep speaking with you, even if it meant lying.

He fought hard to hold back his naturally glowing red eyes and goat-like horns. He had to remain normal so you could become his soon enough.

And when you left him and went home, he stayed outside of your house once again, using his elevated hearing skills to listen to you speak with your husband.

Kun was talking to you about some new project he had in a city about two hours away. You stayed silent, disappointed that he would be gone yet again for a business trip. Kun was the senior architect and had to present, he couldn’t skip out on these trips as much as he wanted to.

“Listen, baby I’m sorry but you know how it is.”

Kun stepped into the bathroom as you brushed your teeth. He took his shirt off as he was about to shower.

You spit water out into the sink and look at your reflection, you were trying hard to hold back your anger. Kun stood behind you and watched you through the mirror with a concerned expression on his face.

“If I knew you were going to be gone all the time, I wouldn’t have married you..”

Kun scoffed. “Don’t say that, you know you don’t mean that, y/n.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and smirked through the mirror.

His hand went to your breast and cupped it.

“I mean it, Kun, how is this supposed to work when we have a family? I want us to both be present for our kids.” 

Kun kissed along your neck, he knew you were ticklish. 

You started to giggle. “Kun..stop, you’re distracting me.”

“Ahh baby, did you just say “our kids?” Are you trying to tell me something?” He squeezed your breasts gently

You turned to him and kissed his lips. His other hand reached under your frilly nightgown, bunching it up at the waist, and to his satisfaction you wore nothing else under it. 

“Should we start right now? Should we have a family?” He brushes his clothed erection into your back as he presses his fingers over you already dripping folds. His deep voice always got you like this.

You gasped and looked at him through the mirror. Soon you were gripping the edge of the counter and crying out his name as he fucked you from behind. He grabbed your hair, pulling your head back so you could look at him through the mirror as you came all over his girthy cock.

Jaehyun heard it all, he imagined it was him bringing you to sweet paradise like he did long ago. He listened to your moans and imagined it was his name you called as your eyes rolled in the back of your head.

It pained him to have to pleasure himself as he imagined all that he would do to you. He was Lucifer, after all. He could have anyone in the dark world pleasure him without even asking twice, but he didn’t want just anyone. He wanted you, and soon he would have you right in his grasp.

————-

[1 Month Later]

Jaehyun was a regular customer at the supermarket you worked at, he’d come in at least once a day. You found it odd that he always knew when your breaks were, so he’d bring you coffee or a snack.

If he didn’t visit during his break, he’d wait for you outside so you’d go to a new place for dinner together after you clocked out.

You spoke about everything. He seemed so smart as he knew about every detail in history and taught you about the world and why things were the way they were.

You watched him intently, your eyes grew when he told you something so interesting, your heart started to race. Like the presence of aliens or ghosts and witches. They all existed and Jaehyun told you all of the evidence as you sat there, stunned.

And then, it was his turn to ask questions.

He finally asked about your husband, even though he knew everything about him.

He knew that he had a short temper sometimes but your fights would either lead to make up sex or him sleeping on the couch. He had watched you every night since finding you. He didn’t sleep, for even the thought of closing his eyes and losing sight of you made him sick to his stomach.

“My husband, Kun, is an architect. He works really hard, but he loves me and I love him. He’s really sweet, I never stop thinking about him. We got married about a year ago, and I couldn’t be happier.” You smiled as you looked down at your hot pot as thought of Kun.

“Ahh..that’s nice..he seems like a supportive partner, during your first year of marriage, have you fought a lot?” Jaehyun tilted his head while smirking.

“Nope! We don’t fight at all, we’re pretty chill, you know?”

You were lying to him and he didn’t like that, but he swallowed hard and smiled nonetheless.

“I see..” he nodded.

He realized that he’d have to work harder to get you to stop thinking about Kun. He’d have to sabotage your current relationship if he ever dreamed of being with you soon.

Killing him would be too easy, he’d have to make Kun so bad, that you’d run to him for relief.

———

[A Week Later]

You kissed Kun goodbye and wished him well for his trip. He quickly kissed you back and walked through the front door without a hug.

“Honey?” You called out to him. “Where’s my hug?” You pouted.

He threw his hand up and continued to walk towards his car. “Sorry, baby, gotta go!”

He had been acting strange these past few days, but you knew he was stressed so you brushed it off. You had had sex the night before but he wasn’t as gentle as he usually was, you could tell something had upset him as he choked you for the first time. You didn’t mind it, you were just surprised by how...different he was.

Little did you know that it was Jaehyun that was making his daily work more difficult. Kun’s important documents and files would go missing right before a presentation, his coworkers weren’t showing up for work, and his boss was always upset with him for some reason. He was starting to dislike his job and he wasn’t sure why, for this was his passion, but lately, everything seemed to be going poorly.

Kun was having difficulty sleeping as well. He’d have disturbing dreams of a place with fire and monsters with sharp teeth. He’d sweat and pant, and eventually be jolted awake in his bed, every night at 3:23 A.M. he’d go downstairs and watch something on TV or write down a few project ideas.

The lack of sleep definitely contributed to his poor mood, but he didn’t tell you for some reason.

Jaehyun watched Kun speed off. He smiled to himself, knowing that his plan was working, he was getting frustrated at work and began taking his anger out on you. 

————

[Four Days Later]

You continued to spend time with Jaehyun. You lost track of time as you watched him speak. His dimples were adorable, his voice was intoxicating and you loved staring into his deep brown eyes.

He watches you play with your wedding ring as you nod and smile at him. His smile was like a blooming garden, his laugh was like heavenly trumpets. The two of you were flirting now, and he could tell from your heartbeat that you weren’t really listening to him, instead, you were fantasizing about him. The glances turned into stares.

You watched his lips and licked your own, your face was hot, but you furrowed your brows and looked down at your ring.

What were you doing? Were you getting emotionally attached to him? You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t hurt Kun.

You got up from your seat. “Well, it’s late.. I should go.”

“Noo.. don’t leave yet.” Jaehyun stood up and touched your hand. The disappointed look in his eyes ate away at your heart. You were developing a nice friendship, but a part of you was afraid that it was becoming something more, something that couldn’t be.

“You look stressed. Do you want a drink?..we can visit that new bar in town.” Jaehyun bites his bottom lip.

A drink did sound nice, it had been a while since you and Kun went out to a bar together and sometimes you did miss the atmosphere, you were young after all, everyone else in their early twenties went out.

Jaehyun smiled to himself as he saw you contemplate your options. He knew you were worried about Kun, but he also knew you needed to have some fun.

So you agreed.

The two of you went out to a bar and drank. You laughed and joked around all night. Jaehyun pretended to be affected by the alcohol, just so he could make you laugh and see your beautiful smile.

He dropped you off home at about 1 A.M after you sobered up a bit.

You turned to him and licked your lips. “You know, Jaehyun, if I weren’t married to Kun..I would date you for sure.” You giggled and leaned in close. And all Jaehyun could think was “yes.” He wanted to feel your plump lips so badly, he wanted to caress them and make love to you to relive the best days of his life, but now was not the time.

He backed away and held your hand while searching your eyes. “Y/n...you should go inside now..”

You sighed, nodding as you opened the door to quickly leave before you could embarrass yourself any more.

You go into your house and to your surprise, Kun is there, his face red and stern as he sat on the loveseat in the living room. The room was dark, lit only by a small night light in the corner and the moonlight from outside. 

Kun was nearly fired by his boss during his trip. He was upset and frustrated, but what made matters worse was when he went home at 10 PM to see that you weren’t there. Then time went on and you still didn’t come home.

You smirked and put your bag down.

“Babyyyyy.. I missed you.” You start to crawl over his lap slowly.

He can tell from the drawn out tones in your voice that you’re drunk. He winces and turns away.

“Where were you, y/n?”

“Out with a friend..we had some drinks and talked.” You straddle him, placing his crotch in between your legs as you kneel over him. You then lean down and kiss his collarbone.

“Why are you home so late? Is it because you didn’t think I’d be home early?” Kun growled out. He wasn’t amused in the slightest by the way you were acting.

“No, baby, I just wanted to hang out with someone for a little bit, you know? I’m so lonely when you’re not here.”

You try to kiss his lips but he flicks his head to the side.

“Who’s this “friend?”

You gulp and straighten your body. You pout as you look down at him. “Baby, kiss me..don’t you miss me too?” You take the straps of your dress down before unhooking your bra and throwing it to the floor.

Jaehyun watched through an open window behind the loveseat as you kneel over an angry Kun. His eyes glow red and his horns grow out of his head as does the straining member in his pants. You in your drunken haze never noticed the pair of crimson eyes outside.

Kun doesn’t touch you or look at your breasts with nipples begging to be sucked. He wanted to take them into his mouth badly, but he was more focused on another issue at hand.

He wrapped his hand around your throat. “Tell me..their name.”

You smirked. “His name is Jaehyun..but we’re just friends, baby, I promise.”

Kun thrusts himself into you from below, grinding hard against your covered opening. You whimper and move your hips to rub your slit against him.

“Well..stop being friends with him, no guy just wants to be friends with a girl..he wants to fuck you..”

You grind down onto him harder, he squeezes his hand and grips your thigh.

“He doesn’t, he’s really nice and helps me at work sometimes.”

Kun digs his nail into your thigh causing you to cry out in pain. He digs into it so deep, he sees blood from your leg run onto his thumb.

But you reach under your dress and pull his boxers down. You still wanted him in your aching core badly, the pain only added to your yearning.

“Y/n.” He says sternly as he watches you align yourself with his hard cock. You sink down onto him slowly and let out a loud moan as it passes through the sensitive skin and rests deep in your core. You adjust to him quickly as you had already been built up by dry humping him before.

He squeezes your throat again.

“Y/n..” 

You move up and down. “Yes..” you call out before licking your lips.

He grabs your waist with both hands and lifts you off of him.

“Kun!” You cry his name after being left empty.

“You’re not gonna get out of this so easily. If you want my cock, tell me you’re done with him.”

“But, baby..”

Kun shakes his head. “Don’t. I’m your husband and you should really take into consideration how I might feel when you spend time with men, when you fucking drink alcohol with men like..like some kinda slut.”

You gasped. “Slut?” 

Kun nods. “Look at you, you’re just thirsty for any male attention. I work my ass off for a few days and you’re already looking for a replacement.”

“Kun, that’s not true.” You felt your chest rumble, as if you were about to burst into tears.

He flips you over onto the couch. “I’m your husband, aren’t I?”

You nod.

“Then do as I say, don’t go out with Jaehyun again.”

Before you can protest his thrusts into you hard and begins to choke you again.

He goes hard and fast as you mewl. 

“Baby, slower, please.”

He bites your nipple and looks down at you to see your body tremble with each rough thrust he gives you, your lips parting to let out the most heavenly moans, your round breasts moving up and down, your legs bent and spread across the loveseat.

“You’re all mine, right?”

“Yes..fuck, yes.” His thumb on your clit makes you dizzy.

“Then I’m gonna breed you, would you like that? Gonna fuck you so hard and get you pregnant.” Kun grunts into your ear.

Jaehyun grimaces outside of your window. Kun, or Adam rather, hadn’t changed at all. He still believed in a woman’s subordination to her husband. He believed from the beginning of time that a woman should lay under her husband, not above.

And now, he was trying to make you his by breeding you, making it impossible for you to break the link between the two of you. But Jaehyun had to make sure that didn’t happen, he had to stop him before he could do this to you.

————

[Three Days Later]

It’s been three days since that night and you hadn’t shown up to work. Kun made love to you day and night on your time off, he felt threatened by the presence of another male in your life and felt it necessary to remind you why you married him in the first place.

He cooked breakfast for you and bought you nice things. You even went to the movies and ice skating. You enjoyed the time off and Kun’s company, it finally felt like things were getting back to normal. You were happy.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, was furious. He knew where you were, but he couldn’t believe that you had forgotten about him so easily. He didn’t want to get violent, but maybe he would have to.

A few days later, you finally return to work and as usual, Jaehyun was there to bring you a cookie.

“Hey! Where have you been?” He asked as you put bread up on the shelves.

“Oh..I took some time off, Kun came home early so we had a little vacation..thank you for the other night though, I really had a great time.” You finally looked up at him and noticed the slightly crazed look in his eyes. His lips were tightly shut.

“That’s great. Would you like to go out again tonight?” He asks sweetly.

You sigh and shake your head. “Umm...Jaehyun..I can’t..do this..”

His smile starts to fade.

“I-I can’t pretend that we are just friends when I’ve had thoughts about you that I shouldn’t have. I’m married and it’s..really not right for me to get emotionally involved with someone.”

Jaehyun chuckles. “That’s nonsense! We are just friends.”

“But we’re not. Look..it’s best if we end this now, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come to my work place anymore.”

Jaehyun screams internally. You were really doing as Kun said by cutting him off. Was he that disposable?

A smile still rests on his face. 

“As you wish..” he nods and leaves after handing you the cookie he brought.

You swallow hard and sigh. That was harder than you thought it would be, but it felt right. It felt like you could finally focus on your marriage with Kun.

Your day at work ended as it usually did. You closed up and walked to your car, but as you got closer you noticed a figure standing beside it.

It had two red eyes and horns peeking out of its skull.

You slowed down. “Hello?” You called out into the empty parking lot.

The figure stepped out of the shadows and under a street light, that’s when you squinted to make out its familiar features. The red eyes and horns had disappeared.

“Jaehyun?”

He stood there creepily in a long black coat and black pants. His face was unreadable and he stayed silent.

You walked closer. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?”

“You know..” Jaehyun scratches his head and laughs.

“I think we should grab something to eat.”

“Jaehyun..” you looked to the side and away from his somber face. You were just a few feet away from each other now.

“We’ll just be eating, we don’t even have to talk.” Jaehyun stepped forward and pleaded.

He didn’t want to lose you, he couldn’t lose you, not after all this time when he had finally gotten so close.

“I can’t, Kun is waiting for me.” You looked up at him with wide eyes.

Jaehyun felt his body tremble whenever you looked at him like that.

He suddenly leaned forward and kissed your lips hard. You fell into him for a brief moment, but then realized what was happening. You quickly bit his lip and pulled away.

“Jaehyun!” You rubbed your lip. “What the hell?!”

He licked the blood on his lips and frowned after your warmth disappeared.

“I’m sorry, I just-“ he reached out for you again but you backed away and opened your car in a rush.

“Leave me alone! I never want to see you again!”

Jaehyun only watched as you scurried into your car seat and locked the car doors.

He banged on the window hard, you jumped from the sound for you were terrified by him. You saw a dark flint in his eyes that you’d never seen.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you put the car in drive.

You sped out of the parking lot and away from him.

“I’ll never let you go, y/n, now that I have you..I’ll never let you go.” He whispered to himself.

————-

[1 Month Later]

The honeymoon feeling you felt with Kun soon dissipated as things went back to how they’d usually been. He spent his time at work and would come home upset, some nights he didn’t even speak to you. He looked sleep deprived and when you asked him about it, he’d have a fit and say he’s fine.

Some nights he wouldn’t look at you, you couldn’t remember the last time you had made love.

He was always short with you, but lately, you found it increasingly difficult to deal with his negative mood. Is this really who you wanted to be married to?

Jaehyun had been messing with him, he’d purposely make every day difficult for him. Kun couldn’t sleep most nights, but when he did, Jaehyun made sure to fill his mind with dark scenes to scare him. Sometimes he’d throw in false images of you making love to a faceless man. It gave Kun the feeling that he was walking in on you cheating on him. He would wake up from these nightmares but they felt so real, he couldn’t ignore how upset they made him.

Kun was paranoid, he felt like someone was out to get him and he didn’t know who it could be, but he didn’t trust even you as much as he did three months ago.

Then one night, you came home late because of a terrible thunderstorm and traffic. You were only about an hour late, but Kun was already home and steaming on the couch.

“Where were you?” He asked as soon as you entered the house.

You exhaled loudly. “Oh, so now you speak to me.”

“Yeah, I’m speaking to you, I’m asking a fucking question.”

You raised your brows. “And who are you to talk to me like that?”

“I’m your husband, or did you forget that when you fucked him tonight?” Kun bit back as he sat up in the chair.

Your face wrinkled as you placed your bag down.

“What are you talking about?”

“Jaehyun..do you think I’m some kind of idiot? I know you’re still seeing him.”

You scoffed. “Wowww Kun.”

You walk away to the kitchen to get some water.

“No, don’t “wowww” me, tell me I’m lying!” His voice started to raise, he walked into the kitchen after you.

“Kun..you sound ridiculous right now, I’m late because there’s a thunderstorm, or do you not hear it just like you don’t hear your phone ringing when I call you?” You asked sarcastically.

“If you’re gonna be late, you should tell me.”

You gulped down your water. “I don’t have to report anything to you! You’re not my king or whatever you think you are.”

“I’m your husband! And you should treat me like a king because look at this house, you wouldn’t be in it if it weren’t for me.”

Your eyes widened. “Are you really holding the house over my head? Wow Kun, you’ve really hit rock bottom, haven’t you?”

Kun chuckles. “Maybe Jaehyun lives somewhere nice, why don’t you go to him since I’m not your king.”

“Okay, here we go again, why are you so insecure, Kun?!” 

The two of you went back and forth that night. You broke down in tears as Kun said hurtful things that left you stunned. 

“I want a divorce!” You yelled and stormed out.

You jumped into your car and drove away, you didn’t know where you were going to go, but you knew you needed to be away from him.

You dialed up Jaehyun who had heard the entire conversation from outside of your house.

“Hello?” He said with the faked tone of confusion in his voice.

“Jaehyun..I need to see you.”

You drove to his house.

It was an incredibly large mansion, and when you went inside, the walls were lined with gold and red velvet curtains. It looked beautiful, unreal almost.

You wondered how Jaehyun could live in an expensive place at such a young age.

Jaehyun looked at your magnificent face as your mouth dropped open.

“Investments.” He smirked.

You laughed and looked back at him. His eyes were warm, his smile was bright.

He could tell you had been crying so once in the foyer he steps close to you and searches your wet eyes.

He runs his thumb along your cheek as you gaze up at him.

“What happened, love?”

You shook your head. “It’s Kun..we fought, I just..I don’t know, Jaehyun, I don’t think we can make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, y/n..”

“I love him, I really do but..” you look to the side and sniffle.

“Is he controlling, y/n?”

Your eyes flicker up to him. You nod slowly.

“Is he the reason why you stopped hanging out with me?”

You nod again.

Jaehyun purses his lips. “Y/n..he’s threatened by you, he doesn’t want you to be independent now that you’re married. He wants to control you and that isn’t a partnership. That isn’t love.”

Your eyes brim with tears once again. “Jaehyun..I don’t want to think about him right now...I want to feel loved, can you do that for me?”

Jaehyun’s dark soul nearly escapes his body. “Of course.” 

You place both hands on his head and kiss him slowly and sensually. You both close your eyes as you fall into him more, his arms wrapping around you to bring you closer to him. He wants to become one with you, feel you, smell you, to be completely enraptured by you for eternity.

Time stood still and your heart fluttered as it was finally being satisfied by something it had craved from the first moment you met Jaehyun.

He too felt everything slow down to a crawl, your lips tasted like the sweetest fruit, your hands were soft like plush blankets.

He pulls away to breathe, his hot breath hitting your now swollen lips. “So beautiful” he whispers into them, then kisses you again in the dim lighting of his house.

He takes you into his arms and carries you to one of his many bedrooms.

“I will take you higher than the heavens themself, just give in to me.” He whispers softly.

He lays you down gently onto the fluffy bed and watches as you relax into it, your hair looking gorgeous as it lays against the white sheets, your neck just begging for soft kisses or hastily made bite marks, cute nose and round, swollen lips. He looks into your wide eyes and smiles. “You’re stunning.” He kicks his shoes off and crawls over you.

You giggled and held him by the hem on his shirt. “Jaehyun...kiss me.”

He leaned down and kissed you as you asked. He was transported back to when your name was Eve and the two of you made love in the garden. Your lips taste the same as hers, your skin feels the same, your touch and everything else was the same. Jaehyun was more than pleased to finally be experiencing your love again.

You start to take your pants down your legs and eventually kick them off. Jaehyun takes his clothes off as well, then watches you take your hoodie off to reveal your breasts.

Without hesitation, he lays his tongue flat against the perky nub, coating it with his spit. He then swirls his tongue around it while he massages the other breast that he hasn’t tasted yet. 

You moan and run your fingers through his hair.

His fingers press onto your thigh, then work their way to your sensitive skin between your legs. You tremble as they brush lightly against it.

You arch your back, telling him silently that you want him to go further. He sucks your nipples harder and listens to another moan leave your beautiful lips.

He takes two fingers and uses them to part your folds. He circles his fingertips around your entrance to collect the liquid that has formed from you being so turned on already.

He kisses the skin in between your breasts.

“You taste so sweet.”

He pushes his fingers into you slowly, your legs widen a bit to adjust to him. His fingers are long and slender, but it doesn’t take much time before his knuckles hit your most sensitive part.

“Jaehyun..” you exhale.

His fingers glide in and out of you slowly, he curls his finger tips to press right onto the fleshy spot that makes your head spin. He flicks his tongue across your breast as his fingers work on your needy area.

He looks up at you through low eyes, your dainty fingers grasping onto the sheets tightly.

“So-so close.” You whimper.

His fingers move faster, pressing onto your clenching walls as you get closer.

He then kneels and looks down at you as his fingers still move back and forth.

He licks his lips and lowers his face to the apex of your open legs. He flicks his tongue across you slit now, combining the action of his tongue with his finger to drive you crazy.

He moves his tongue in circular motions onto your clit as his finger moves in faster and presses onto your g-spot harder.

His long tongue flattens onto you repeatedly. 

You cry out his name one final time before cumming onto his fingers. He continues to rub his nose onto your clit and lick inside you as you climax and shake.

You try to push your body up away from him, but he holds your waist down firmly and continues to eat you out.

“Jaehyun!” You look down at him to see his eyes, almost with a glint of red in them, looking up at you sternly.

He places a kiss onto your folds then crawls over you to face you. He licks his lips. 

“Y/n, my love, I will never force you to bow down to me, you are my queen, you always have been. I will not lose you like I did so long ago.”

You’re slightly confused, but you nod and kiss him. He lays down beside you and takes your waist into his hands as his tongue now dances with yours.

He brings your body over on top of his.

Your skin becomes littered with goose pimples as he runs his hands up and down your thighs.

You kneel over his intimidating length and take in a sharp breath while running your hands along his chest and abs. He, too, was magnificent, like a painting or sculpture come to life.

He takes your hand in his and watches your naked body above him. 

He remembered the first time you made love, you rode him that time too, bringing him to his most memorable orgasm of all time.

You sink down onto him slowly, your head falling back instantly.

You couldn’t stop your pussy from clenching around him as he stretched you out so well and stimulated you just from being halfway in.

He pushes up into you to help you. You feel his cock buried deep inside you, running against your silky walls and pressing onto your sweet spot once more.

He curved into you so perfectly. You bite your lips and swivel your hips as you move up and down. He grabs your ass and brings it down onto him. 

He groans when you quiver around him and it is a low sound that you’ve never heard before, it’s almost animalistic.

But it’s hot, and pushes you closer to the edge.

Jaehyun watched your body shimmer in the low, warm lighting of the room. Your face is adorable, your skin is soft and glistens, you smell like vanilla. He wished he could have you like this forever, gliding down onto him, your breasts moving up and down as you whimper and moan from the feeling of his cock stretching you out.

You are his Heaven.

He thrusts up into you harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room as does your groans and cries.

Jaehyun fits you so perfectly, you’re on the brink of tears, you're weak and ride him sloppily as you chase your high.

Jaehyun knows this and flips you over onto your back in a swift move. He places your legs onto his shoulders and pushes into you. His hips slap against yours as he kisses you again.

He uses his ability to grow even more while inside you.

His eyes glow red but your eyes are closed as he fucks into you from above now.

“Jaehyun..fuck..” Tears escape your eyes. Your pussy clenches uncontrollably around his cock.

He runs his palm onto your belly and feels his cock twitch in the pit of your stomach. “I’m so deep inside you, do you like feeling me? Do you want me to release deep inside you?”

He moves faster.

You arch your back. “Fill me up, please, I want you inside me so badly.” You whimper out.

Jaehyun licks his thumb and places it onto your clit. He licks your breast again and sucks hard.

You cum hard and shake.

He climaxes as well, cumming deep inside you as you let out a stream of curses. You had never orgasmed so hard, but something about Jaehyun has you trembling for several minutes. He was able to deliver pleasure just as he was able to deliver pain in the underworld.

He rubs his thumb along the side of your sweaty face while watching his cum leak out of you.

“My love..would you like me to fuck you again?”

His voice is gravelly, but confident, for he already knows the answer.

You nod and within a few milliseconds you’re on your chest with your ass up in the air. Jaehyun pounds you into the bed and has you calling out his name several times that night.

You fall asleep after climaxing many times. You felt amazing, like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Jaehyun held you in his arms and cuddled you to sleep.

“Y/n..I’m happy you’re mine now.”

————

[The Next Day]

Jaehyun woke up to see that you left him, you had snuck out and drove back home.

You left a note for him explaining that you couldn’t be in a relationship with him for your heart belonged to Kun. 

“Thank you for being here for me, I am sorry for coming to you during my weakest moment. I hope you will respect my wish to not see you again, as I must remain steady in my marriage to Kun.

With Love, Y/n” 

Jaehyun crumbles up the note and sets fire to it in his hands. His horns grow large and his eyes beam red, furious is an understatement.

How could you do this to him? He made love to you, gave you the best love you’d ever had and you still went back to him.

He would make sure to ruin Kun, for if he couldn’t have you, no one else should.

————

[3 Months Later] 

Jaehyun was still hurt by you leaving him that night, but he knew there was nothing he could do. A part of him wanted you to be happy, but a part of him wanted to destroy Kun so he could have you all to himself.

He had planned to get rid of him until he discovered that you were pregnant. He wasn’t sure if the baby was his or Kun’s, but he did know that if he were to kill Kun you would potentially lose the baby from devastation. He couldn’t do that to you, he couldn’t cause that pain even if he was satisfied by Kun’s death.

So he watches you from afar, imagining once again that it was him preparing for a baby instead of Kun.

The two of you looked happy, maybe it was the child that was making things different.

Either way, he hated seeing you so happy without him.

————

[8 Months Later]

You give birth to your son. You and Kun raise it together and take turns watching it during the night. 

One day, Jaehyun visits you while you cradle the baby at home alone.

You open the door and your smile falls.

Jaehyun, however, smiles harder when he sees your pretty face, glowing from the post pregnancy hormone changes.

Seeing you like this makes him want to get you pregnant all over again.

“J-Jaehyun?” You hadn’t seen him since that night, but he still looked good.

“Y/n..it’s been so long, hasn’t it?”

Something about him being there after so much time made you uneasy.

“Well..can I come in?” Jaehyun gives a half smile.

You nod and let him in.

You hold your baby and sit in a rocking chair. “So..what brings you here?”

“I’m here to see my child of course!”

Your brows furrow. “YOUR..child?”

Jaehyun smirks and steps closer to you. He smiles to himself as he looks at the baby.

“Come on, y/n, did you forget how many times I buried my seed into your beautiful cunt that night?”

You shook your head. “Don’t speak like that, please. I was weak, I-I was sad and broken..”

“Of course, but you loved it, you loved all of it.” He looked up to the ceiling and shut his eyes.

“I can still hear your moans right now.”

“Kun is the father, Jaehyun..this isn’t up for debate.”

“And if he’s not?” He tilts his head and looks back down at you.

“Well, he is. I’ll raise this child with my husband, regardless of who the biological father is, we have no place for you in this house.”

“Tsk tsk...keeping me away from my own child? Y/n..that’s not very nice of you, my love.”

“Don’t call me that!” Your voice rose slightly. “We had one night together, I don’t want to be with you, I will never be yours.”

“You’re already mine, y/n, you always will be, don’t you understand, after all these years?”

You shook your head. “Jaehyun.. you’re crazy. I’d like you to leave.”

You reached your hand out to grab your phone.

Jaehyun sees that you're nervous and chuckles to himself. “Oh..y/n..you’ve really made me upset. I guess I will just have to embrace my nature.”

He shuts the front door as you stare intently.

You always had a fear that the baby might be his, but how did he know you were pregnant in the first place?

————

[Two Days Later]

Jaehyun summons Lilith.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?”

She appears to him with a slim body and dark hair this time. Her face is perfect like one of some celebrity, but God cursed Jaehyun’s vision so that when he looks at Lilith, he can only see an ugly monster. 

“I need you to take it.”

Jaehyun demands as sits on his throne in Hell. He tosses an apple in the air.

“Seduce the man and come back with the baby.”

“And what do I get out of it?” She places her hand on her hip.

“Nothing. But if you don’t do it, I will rip your fucking head off.” He looks up at her slowly. “Is that a good enough reason for you?”

Lilith scoffs then goes to do as she is told.

She appears to Kun who is half asleep on the couch in the living room. It’s his turn to watch the baby, so he can’t sleep completely.

“Hey there, big boy.” She says smoothly and crawls over him.

“Who—who are you?”

“My name’s Lilith.” She zips her leather jacket down to reveal her bare chest. “You look lonely, sweetheart.”

Kun is hypnotized by her, he doesn’t know if he’s awake or asleep, but he does know that he wants her badly. 

“Do you want to fuck me?” Lilith asks with doe eyes as she looks up at him and pumps her breasts.

Kun nods and soon finds himself enraptured by a succubus, burying himself into her and thus falling into her trap as you, his wife, lay sound asleep in the room above.

Once Lilith brings Kun to an extraordinary climax, he falls asleep.

She then walks upstairs slowly to the baby room.

Her appealing looks disappear and she transforms into her true being, a disturbingly ugly monster with grey skin and long legs and arms. Her bones crack as she grows to about 6 feet 6 inches tall, her black hair falls out onto the floor and her jaw protrudes as her eyes glow red. She smells like rotten eggs as green liquid oozes out of her pores and eyes.

She stares at the baby sleeping soundly in its crib.

You, however, wake up from the crackling sound.

“Kun?” You murmur.

You get up and walk to the baby room.

You nearly pass out from the stench and feel your legs grow weak when you see the ghastly being standing over your baby.

“Hey!” You call out, but when the thing turns around, it already has your baby in its arms. A wide creepy smile filled with about twenty sharp and misshapen teeth creeps across its face.

You start to cry. “Put him down!”

You run towards it but it disappears.

You grasp the crib and look into it, shifting the blankets around before looking under it.

Your baby was nowhere to be found.

You let out a painful scream that Jaehyun, and even your neighbors could hear and fell to the floor.

Kun finally woke up and ran upstairs. He consoled you as you cried uncontrollably.

———-

[One Month Later]

The police and everyone in the neighborhood helped you to search for your baby, but nothing happened. 

You tried to explain that night so many times, but nothing made sense and people just thought you were crazy.

Even Kun. He left you soon after the incident, the heartbreak was too much for him and he didn’t trust you. So he left you, moving further away and starting a new life without you as the divorce papers started to process.

You were alone, you couldn’t deal with the loss of your child. You sat alone at a pond and cried until you couldn’t cry anymore.

Jaehyun knew your time was running out, he knew you’d pass and eventually come to him to live with him in the dark world.

Your heart breaks and you die of sadness at the edge of the pond.

Your soul slips away from your body. 

Jaehyun is there watching as you stare down at it in confusion.

“Jaehyun?”

“Hello, y/n.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re with me now, where you should be.” He smiles as he goes to take your hand, but his hand passes through.

Jaehyun looks in confusion at his hand.

“Can you see me?” You ask.

“Of course I can. I should be able to touch you too, but..” he turns away and looks at his hand which is still vibrating like it had just been shocked with electricity.

“What’s happening?”

He turns back to you, but you’re gone.

“Oh, Lucifer..” a male voice calls out to him.

“You thought you had it all figured out, didn’t you? You would have her die then bring her to hell to live with you forever..”

“Winwin?” He recognizes the angel in front of him.

“I wish I could say it’s nice to see you again, but it really isn’t.”

“What the hell is going on? She’s mine!” He grows angry, his eyes becoming red and his horns growing out in harmony with his black wings.

“No, she isn’t. She belongs with us, remember God will always win.” Winwin smirks.

“No..no they can’t do this to me again!”

“Of course they can! Goodbye, LuLu!” Winwin then spins and disappears.

Jaehyun curses and shouts loudly, so loudly that the heavens can hear him. You can hear him, but now you realized who he really was and why he was so infatuated with you. It broke your heart that he went to such lengths to hold onto you, but now you knew that he was nothing but evil.

Jaehyun could feel you, he could sense you everywhere and sometimes he could see you, but he could never touch you again. He would have to live eternally as a tortured individual that lost his love 3 times.

“Well, at least you have the child.” Lilith looks at her nails as Jaehyun thrashes about in hell.

“What will you name him?”

Jaehyun smooths his hair back and walks to the crib that the baby sleeps in. “His name..is Cain.”

[sitcomified]

my predictions for the b99 finale:

above all if the rest of the season is any indication it will be fucking beautiful and filled with fan service

starting w the gimmes: coolcoolcool, noice, title of your sex tape, smort, terry loves stuff etc.

HEIST???????????????????????? it's gotta be at least alluded to

i'm expecting at least one significant time jump (like at least a year) and probably a bunch of "flashbacks" to things that we didn't see

amy and holt's program is a huge success and there's even some indication of it going beyond the NYPD.

it will not be nuanced enough for some people (because this is an 8 season show tying up in like 40 minutes) and there will be awful internet discourse about it

if there's a huuuuge time skip amy will eventually lead the nypd/whatever it becomes

jake's arc has a few options and right now i think from most to least likely it's 1) substantially scaling down amt of police work/joining rosa 2) being a Good Cop or whatever and having a significant mentoring role 3) stay at home dad

assuming the NYPD isn't full on taken down, terry will take over the 99

gina back?? idk what to expect here but if she is (legit forgot if it was confirmed or not) then just like jokes abt her being an influencer now. but it's okay and i love her

mac will be referenced a ton and i would simply implode if he's actually there/baby #2 exists (but if not we all know @peralta-guaranteed 's maya headcanons are canon)

in terms of other squad kids,,, i think that they probably won't be referenced at all and def not there but from most to least likely it's nikolaj, cagney/lacey, ava, and iggy (and then i guess hitchcock/scullys kids are last but canon was never consistent with that)

also no sharon/genevieve/milton probably

god the way i would KILL for a parks and rec style reunion with the kids all grown up??? a girl can dream

along the lines of family stuff i don't think we can expect any more lore abt the extended peraltas/santiagos sorry

rosa and charles probably won't get any major development, maybe some time goes to rosa's PI stuff doing a ton of good

i want rosa to find love but i know she will be all set canon or not

kevin will be back, but probably not the other guest stars

that said here are characters i think it would be awesome to see: PIMENTO (just not w rosa please), mlepnos, the vulture (explicitly getting fired), sophia (no plot reason except maybe she helps with police reform??? i just love eva longoria. also teddy got to return for the almost finale), eddie fung (no reason for him to be here since jake's romance arc is wrapped up but it was so impt to early show development) marshall haas (another very long shot also no reason for her to be here but i love maya rudolph), david santiago (i actually don't want this i just want everyone to remember lin manuel miranda is canonically a Santiabro)

also fuck it not a prediction but here are some very long shot guest starts i would simply perish if i saw: adam scott, seth meyers, amy poehler, aubrey plazza, and of course john mulaney

scully retires

scully was god all along

[jackoshadows]

“We are not racist” yells the crowd after spending 3 seasons nitpicking and singling out Maria Deluca for anything she does. Literally

If she doesn’t get any writing and is sidelined - I don’t like her because she’s underdeveloped

If she gets writing and is central to the plot - Why is she taking away so much screentime from other characters.

Why this need to have other characters yell at her or show that she has flaws? She has flaws - you guys are pointing it out each episode. Kyle repeatedly castigates Maria for being single minded about finding out who is in the coffin.

The nitpicking of the writing for her, when pretty much every character on this show has problematic, bad writing.

Entire essays on why she is evil because she risked Max’s life jumping off a building. Meanwhile Alex knowing about Maria’s visions and absolutely not caring that any of his friends may die? Just bad writing.

Maria is the devil for being rude and dismissive towards Michael, but Alex being rude and dismissive towards Michael? Aww, poor baby is just trying to protect Michael, he’s stressed, the writing is bad, the writers are homophobic, Michael is being an ass.

The writers not spending time on Malex? Homophobia. The writers not spending time on Miluca, an inter-racial relationship? Miluca is trash, Michael doesn’t love Maria because COSMIC LOVE.

These writers are just not that good at writing characters, relationships or plot points. Even Echo has problematic elements with how Max allowed Liz and her family to be tormented for so many years. And if Rosa/Wyatt happens? Hell no! Makes no sense for Rosa as a character.

It’s a silly, entertaining CW show about aliens. But of all the characters, the hypocritical singling out of Maria is why the misogynoir in this fandom stands out. As others have pointed out Liz was sidelined last season for Michael and the whole Alex/Michael kidnapping plot towards the end. Where was all this outrage about Liz being sidelined then?

And quoting a Spoiler frigging TV review written by one you is not the validation you guys think it is. It’s Spoiler TV, not Alan Sepinwall.

The hate many of you have for even Heather Hemmens - not wanting her to direct, accusing her of influencing the story, being a bad actor. All the while thirsting over Blackburn.

And Blackburn’s lucky he is in a little known CW show and other mainstream indigenous actors don’t know of him. They have spoken up before in other cases like this both behind the camera and in front of it.

Like for the Yellowstone casting of a non-native American actor playing a main character.

Before the first season of Yellowstone began airing, Native American actor Adam Beach, best known for his roles in Windtalkers, Flags of Our Fathers and Suicide Squad, took to Instagram to criticize a particular casting decision. Over a picture of actress Kelsey Asbille he posted the words, "Failure of diversity. I'm asking my Native actors to stay away from this project."

https://www.looper.com/199689/the-truth-about-yellowstones-casting-controversy/

Of course, Beach is just one person. Buzzfeed published an article about the controversy which included interviews with other Native American actors and industry professionals who spoke to a diversity of opinions within the native community on people who possibly have Native American ancestry — but who did not grow up in a native community — playing native roles.

Joely Proudfit, Ph.D, who helps run a group that consults on Native American representation in media called The Native Networkers, said of the controversy, "I don't want to minimize this to one individual... That's the crumbs on the floor, not the cake on the table."

Actor and Chair of the SAG-AFTRA National Native Americans Committee DeLanna Studi pointed out that a huge part of the issue is the fact that Native American actors rarely get opportunities outside of the small number of native roles available at any given time. "If it was more of a level playing field — where our Native actors were being cast as leads in How to Get Away With Murder or Grey's Anatomy, where they can just be a human being — then there wouldn't be this need for us to be protective of the roles that are just for us."

Even the showrunners of the recent Reservation Dogs mentioned how most Hollywood casting agencies take the easy way out because they don’t want to reach out to the Reservations for actors. So if someone living in LA comes in saying that he is NA, naturally they are going to be eager to cast him, taking away from an actual NA actor. And that explains why Blackburn keeps getting these roles

And the fact that Blackburn’s not even apologized or acknowledged the impact of what he did? Terrible. But yeah, it’s Heather Hemmens who should not be allowed to direct because she plays a fictional character in scenes written and directed by someone else. GTFO.

[magaprima]

Okay, so I’ve said stuff like this before (many times, haha), but comment rambling with @penelopeblosscm has sort of made me start fixating and thinking about it all over again. 

It being; Lilith is not just an abuse victim, but someone who has lived in an environment where her abuser isn’t only in a place of power, he is literally king of the entire realm. The place she’d made her home is ruled by him, so that’s no one to turn to, no one to trust, no one who is on her side (because even if they sympathised with her, siding against the Dark Lord is a surefire way to find yourself tortured and then dead). It’s her only realm of experience (no pun intended) for multiple millennia. Therefore literally everything Lilith does (and yes, that does include what she did to baby Adam) is influenced by her experience as an abuse victim and as a consequence of Lucifer’s conditioning. She uses that as her reference, because it’s all she’s ever known, when making both negative and positive decisions; she can’t not take action without that influencing her because it’s been a part of her life literally forever. 

But the fact she’s suffered through all that for thousands of years and yet still has an ability to love (and love deeply and completely for that matter, examples being both in Adam 2.0 as well as Baby Adam), that she can grow attached to people and also grow personally and eventually use her new experiences to break free of that ancient abuse cycle and head in a positive direction of self growth is absolutely freaking astounding. Because people can be entirely broken and/or fully engage in maintaining the abuse cycle after decades of abuse and conditioning, their sense of self totally eradicated beyond recovery, but Lilith’s sense of self and capacity for love survived through absolute multiple millennia of abuse, which shows just how strong she is. 

But then, she is a survivor after all; that is a key and vital part of her core personality. Even her pregnancy was borne of her survival nature. 

But yes, both her positive and negative behaviours all come from a reaction to her abuse; either in compliance with it or defiance of it, and as we go through the Parts, defiance of it starts to become a more frequent choice for her, which, as I said, is amazing positive growth. 

Like in threads where she’s close with your muse (either romantically, platonically, or maternally etc) you’ll see her give her all completely; not just because of her huge capacity to love, but because in breaking free of the abuse cycle and of Lucifer directly, she’s finally able to experience her own emotions and feelings without the fear of punishment, or mockery or having them used against her. So she’s basically learning to engage in all those feelings all over again, but she’s also reacting out of gratitude and appreciation for having a person/people that are genuinely nice to her, who are respectful and who she doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around for fear of being hit or tormented or belittled etc etc. So with all that going on inside her, she is going to go all in, and perhaps even be a little over-zealous or enthusiastic, because it’s something she’s wanted since the Garden but has been denied for thousands of years. Think how hard she fell for Adam 2.0 when he was kind and considerate and respectful with her. Or think how quickly she grows close with the Spellman sisters after they help her and offer her a place to stay.

I do honestly believe that a Lilith entirely free of the abuse cycle, living with a healthy supportive environment such as the coven, would raise Adam to be the very opposite of what is expected for a King of Hell (which usually involves being a jerk and an asshole basically it seems haha), because if kindness, consideration and respect are something she seeks in others, then she’s going to want to instil those in her son...and would be able to do so in an environment that doesn’t condemn her for those preferences. 

I also think it’s these preferences that are the reason why, even though she is clearly close to both Spellman sisters through the course of Part 4 (her faith/trust/confidence in Zelda is astounding, and so strong that in the Emperor Blackwood universe, it just takes the mention of Zelda’s name for Lilith to trust someone), she becomes much more softly close with Hilda, because Hilda is all open soft kindness and warmth, and Lilith does instinctively lean towards that. 

I do honestly feel the Spellmans would be the healthiest environment for Lilith to grow in, because they show love, they are a loving family, but that doesn’t mean they don’t argue or lash out or make mistakes or call out each other’s shit. They still love each other and stand by each other and defend each other no matter what, and Lilith could really learn from them what it is to have healthy familial love, and what it is to not be afraid of your own feelings, no matter what they are. 

[arhvste]

Hi! I saw your Dad hcs and istg I wanted more 🥺 can you please make a part two with Sakusa (God i love this man) Hinata, Bokuto and Ushijima (do add more if you want) your works are amazing but the Dad hcs got me 💘

i re-read all my work last night and i consciously kept spelling sakusa’s name wrong 🤠 like i know his name i know what it sounds like but i kept getting mixed up between sasuka, sakura and sasuke because they all look the same to me 😳 I'm sorry sakusa pls forgive me 😼

also i will be doing ushijima in a seperate post for dad hcs with two other haikyuu boys a bit later so dw i haven't accidentally missed or ignored it! :) 

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SAKUSA, HINATA AND BOKUTO AS DADS

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SAKUSA

the two fo you only have one kid so far

a 3 year old girl 

you plan to extend your family soon though 👀

you already KNOW this man gets your kid every vaccination available for their age 

he is very protective over his daughter 

boys near her daughter at the playground

NOT on his watch 

he will simply scoop her up and suggest she play somewhere else 

this man doesn't care how mean it may seem

he’s not having his precious daughter surrounded by disgusting b-boys 🤮

“have they had their flu jabs? when was the last time they washed their hands? they're breathing their gross little germs too close to her”

“sakusa, they’re 3.”

sorry but no dating for your daughter 

sakusa teaches his little girl the concept of “boys have cooties” from a very young age 

this man is nothing but proud when that concept sticks with her 😈

“d/n, are you excited for pre-school?”

“daddy said there's going to be boys and boys have cooties so no 😠”

as she gets older though he does become more lenient with her and who she makes friends with 

he’ll secretly love it if you brought her to his games

he’s not huge on pda at all

but he won’t mind being caught on camera embracing the two of you when the team win 

atsumu is not allowed near your daughter when she’s a baby

“omi omiiiii why can’t i ‘ave a look t’cha daughter?”

“because she has been vaccinated and i fear your disgusting germs may be strong enough to over power it”

when she gets older though she straight up approaches atsumu on her own 

“so you’re the rat my daddy talks about a lot? you don’t look like much of a rat?”

atsumu doesn’t know whether he’s flattered that sakusa talks about him or offended that he refers to him as a ‘rat’

he won’t encourage your daughter to play volleyball

he wants her to pick her own hobbies and not feel pressured by his influence on picking an activity she’ll enjoy

secretly hopes your daughter takes up an individual activity like painting or something to keep away from other germ infected kids

but if your daughter does happen to pick a team sport he doesn't complain

she just has to wash her hands before she comes home and have a shower when she comes in

he is a very very proud father 

he may not be very expressive about it 

but he absolutely brags about his kid to other people

“my son won maths star of the week!”

“yeah? well my daughter won student of the year, highest achieving in her class and had 4 boys confess to her this week so”

he does make sure his daughter knows he is very proud of her despite his petty bragging

anything she does he takes pride in her 

it’s her who makes him want to have another kid

so get ready for round two y/n because when sakusa wants something he’ll make sure he gets it 😼

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HINATA

now, you may think hinata would be nothing but pure chaos with his kids 

but

he is actually very responsible 

it’s hardly a surprise though because he grew up with a younger sister whom he took care of a lot 

from the second your triplet boys are born hinata is on it 

at first when you found out you were having triplets your mind went blank

“so like, 3 little shoyou’s running around my legs? 😀”

“ma’am are you okay?”

“i’m finE :)))”

surprisingly  two of your sons took more after you

but the youngest one 

phew 

he doesn't have an off switch 

he’s just like his father 

but that’s what makes him so loveable too

hinata is a doting dad 

he also encourages his kids to go out and make as many friends

he explains all the opportunities he had growing up and how far these opportunities took him to reach is goal

and this is all because he was open to meeting new people and being friendly with them

he makes sure his kids grow up with lots of aunts and uncles surrounding them

he wants his sons to grow up in a close environment 

your kids have so many aunts and uncles because hinata makes a new friend everywhere he goes ufshfi

your oldest son takes a liking to kenma the most 

your second oldest takes a shine to uncle oikawa

and the youngest?

uncle kaegyama ofc 😈

lmao when kageyama holds one of your sons for the first time he holds it by the leg with a straight face 

nobody thought they’d ever see hinata having to show kageyama how to hold a baby properly 

kageyama is lowkey excited he’s the fav but he’s so awkward fjishsgjh

bring your sons to his games 

he will absolutely smile and wave at his kids whenever he scores

and will pull them out excitedly into the arena when they win 

he has you all plastered on his social media 

he thinks everyone should know that you guys are the light of his life

he already had a fulfilled life before his sons but you gave him a whole new concept of love and excitement when they were born

you guys will totally take a vacation to brazil at some point 

hinata wants your family to meet all his friends over in brazil too 

hinata is mr worldwide 😎

with hinata as a dad, your kids will grow up in a very nurturing home

he wants the best for your kids and will teach them from an early age that any goal is possible 

and he’ll support them in every single way he can

-

BOKUTO

hinata as a dad isn’t chaos 

bokuto as a dad certainly is

he’s basically a child himself 

you guys have 2 kids

a 5 year old son and a 6 year old daughter

bokuto will try and BEFRIEND your kids

“kou baby, they're your kids not your friends”

“uh says who?”

“biology??? their dna?? the birth certificate??”

he literally lets his kids do whatever they want forcing you to be the bad cop (im so sorry)

your kids want ice cream for dinner?

consider it done

they want to adopt a snake?

bokuto has excitedly taken them to the pet store to pick out one each

you’re always the one who has to say no because if you didn’t these kids would be off the r a i l s

the first time your kids cries he cries

the first time your kids talk he cries

the first time they walk he cries

he’s full of emotion and the love he holds for your kids is often expressed through tears of happiness

when you leave bokuto and the kids alone 

things will go smoothly

until one of them starts crying and bokuto can’t stop them

then the other one starts crying and he is clueless on what to do 

he doesn’t want to call you because he doesn’t want to look pathetic 

so he calls the next best option 

uncle akaashi 😼

akaashi is like a walking parent website hfdjbgu

he literally instructs bokuto on what to do through the phone 

and if they still won't calm down akaashi will just sigh and agree to come over

you come home to the sight of akaashi reading a story book to your two kids who are staring up at him in awe from the floor

along with your husband 

“am i interrupting?”

bokuto will break out into smiles and practically pounce on you when you come home

“everything was under control wasn’t it? right akaashi?” :D”

akaashi will just sigh and give a small smile

“yes bokuto-san, everything was under control”

you give akaashi a small smile of apology and he’ll often join you for dinner

yeah your kids spend a lot of time with uncle akaashi but you know who’s adamant on being the favourite uncle?

uncle kuroo ofc 😎

he will spoil tf out of your kids 

we love rich, capitalist uncle kuroo

and he’ll tell them things about bokuto to irritate him

“kids, your dads a criminal he doesn't pay his taxes”

“taxes?”

“money everyone has to pay the government - basically it’s illegal and i think you should call the police on your dad 😈”

you actually have to stop your kids from calling the police on their dad fbhjdsfgu

again, another dad who wants nothing more than for his kids to come to his games

“HEY HEY HEY THAT”S MY FAMILY!!!”

no boundaries with pda

will pick you all up and shower you all with affection when they win

would love if your kids took up volleyball

would tell them it’s the best sport to play 

and they actually listen to him hduigefuiew

your son becomes a middle blocker 

and your daughter becomes an ace 

bokuto could die from happiness 

he will absolutely teach your kids and play and bring them to msby practices so they can watch up close and play along too

if bokuto is the father of your kids 

good luck but have fun with it

because while yes, he is still your big baby that needs taking care of from time to time

he is also an extremely loving father who would gladly give his kids the world and all the stars

[stupendousbookworm]

"I speak fluent English, French, German and bullshit"

"Do you think cinnamon rolls have a separate life before we eat them?"

"Rowan, can books fly?"

"What if every star in the sky represents a soul that departed from the world? I wouldn't mind ending up there"

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Name: Ara Annora Rose Black

Nicknames: Ara Bear, annoying bitch, black, cursed kid

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Sexuality: bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Blood status: Pureblood

Date of Birth: 18th February 1973

Ethnicity: French/British

Nationality: British

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In front of the students of Hogwarts, she's the infamous curse breaker; a person not to be messed with. But in the eyes of her friends, she's the silliest and idiotic Ravenclaw known to kind. A girl with a dark past but huge ambitions, a sharp mind and a knack for attracting trouble, she's a chaotic person. But will she be able to find her brother and save Hogwarts?

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Personality:

Brilliant: although she can be a tad bit daft at times, she's rather smart, and can solve problems quite efficiently. If she understands the concept, nothing can stop her.

Stubborn: she's pretty adamant when she wants to achieve something. She doesn't stop until she reaches her goal. It comes as both a blessing and a curse

Sarcastic: she can hurt you when she wants to. Her sarcasm is rather brutal, and she always regrets saying anything rude. She really doesn't filter what she says before saying it.

Musically talented: she can sing, and play many instruments, including the guitar, piano, saxophone, flute and drums

Short tempered: she really can't control her anger. She gets pissed off rather easily and it gets on everyone's nerves. It's all a part of her defense mechanism

Kind: she's the person who acts like a bitch but actually cares for you, and looks out for you. Don't worry, she's got your best interests at heart

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What are her likes?

chocolate, cinnamon rolls, her Ravenclaw jumper, astronomy, her friends, coffee, old books, reading Shakespeare, singing, playing music, dueling, messing around with Tonks, Tulip and Jae, and sleeping

What are her dislikes?

being woken up, strawberries, Tonks eating her special banana ketchup sandwich, dungbombs, Mrs. Norris the dumb cat, when someone tears a page out of a book, and History of Magic

Where does she live?

Tonks Cottage, London, with Nymphadora, Andromeda and Ted

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Appearance:

Hair colour: Black

Eye colour: grey

Skin Tone: pale

Height: 6'0

Weight: 118 lbs

Build: thin and lanky with a slight slouch. She eats a lot of junk food but it doesn't show because of her "good metabolism"

Aesthetic: astronomical, academia and grunge (?)

Inventory: her wand, a half eaten bag of chocolate chips, a old family heirloom time turner (that's rather faulty), black finger-less gloves and Moonshine the baby kneazle

Face Claim: Steffy Argelich

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Magic

1st wand: Ash wood, 12 1/2 inches, phoenix feather core, great for transfiguration, nice and swishy

The ash wand cleaves to its one true master and ought not to be passed on or gifted from the original owner, because it will lose power and skill. This tendency is extreme if the core is of unicorn. Old superstitions regarding wands rarely bear close examination, but I find that the old rhyme regarding rowan, chestnut, ash and hazel wands (rowan gossips, chestnut drones, ash is stubborn, hazel moans) contains a small nugget of truth. Those witches and wizards best suited to ash wands are not, in my experience, lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes. However, the brash or over-confident witch or wizard, who often insists on trying wands of this prestigious wood, will be disappointed by its effects. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous, but never crass or arrogant.

2nd wand: Ebony wood, 13 inches, dragon heartstring core, brilliant for dueling, very flexible

This jet-black wand wood has an impressive appearance and reputation, being highly suited to all manner of combative magic, and to Transfiguration. Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual or comfortable with the status of outsider, ebony wand owners have been found both among the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix and among the Death Eaters. In my experience the ebony wand’s perfect match is one who will hold fast to his or her beliefs, no matter what the external pressure, and will not be swayed lightly from their purpose.

Boggart: herself, but as a death eater

Riddikulus form: being surrounded by friends, who have her back

Patronus: Black Raven

As a patronus a black raven represents knowledge, they carry intelligence and quick wit, matching perfectly with Ravenclaw. You find extreme comfort in those with intelligence and knowledge of past events, and how to handle new things calmly and with poise. You tend to have some moments of a delicate, sensitive side that comes out of them in times of fear or sadness.  You tend not to always a leader, but a follower because they know that others may have more experience or wisdom than them, but if you know you are the most intelligent, knowledgeable or wise, you take the reigns and lead the way. In the same way the owner of this patronus will give up leadership, to a wiser leader, they will do the same in a multitude of different situations. Despite this, you are very brave and cunning, but in other areas, when you do take leadership, you are a strong-minded and focused leader, you never let you guard down, even if you are scared or confused. You carry an extreme amount of knowledge with you at all times, waiting to find a use in the correct situation. This patronus matched with Ravenclaw, means that you are able to think of creative and innovative ideas for the better of the team, even when you are not the leader.

Patronus memory: When Andromeda and Ted accepted her as their own daughter. She realised that she did have a family who loved her and cared for her.

Animagus: a small Black Raven

Amortentia (what they smell like): old books, chocolate, a tad bit of cinnamon, coffee and lavender

Amortentia (what they smell): a library, petrichor, grass, cinnamon, and a very strong woody cologne

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Magical Abilities:

Legilimency and Occlumency:

Legilimency is the act of magically navigating through the many layers of a person's mind and correctly interpreting one's findings. A person who practices this art is known as a Legilimens. Muggles might call this "mind-reading," but practitioners disdain the term as naïve. The opposite of Legilimency is Occlumency, which is used to shield one's mind from the invasion and influence of a Legilimens.

Occlumency is the act of magically closing one's mind against Legilimency. It is ancient, and has existed since medieval times.[1] It can prevent a Legilimens from accessing one's thoughts and feelings, or influencing them. A person who practices this art is known as an Occlumens.

Favourite spells: Bombarda, Legilimens, Expecto Patronum, Reducto

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School:

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Organizations joined: Hogwarts, Circle of Khanna, The Order of The Phoenix

Apprenticeships: worked as an intern at the Ministry of Magic for a while, and helped Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing with Chiara

Professions: Auror for a while, took a break after a bad injury and ended up teaching at Hogwarts for a year, and then became an Alchemist.

Best Subjects: Transfiguration, Potions, Flying, Charms, Astronomy and DADA

Worst Subjects: Herbology, History of Magic, Divination.

Extra curricular activities: Keeper of the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team, sometimes tutors first years

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Relationships:

Fuck her blood family, she's a part of the Tonks family now

Edward "Ted" Tonks

He might not be her father, but he sure is her dad. Muggle born Ted taught Ammie how to mess around with muggle tools, and introduced her to muggle movies and other random trinkets. He thinks of Ammie as his own daughter, and was the one who taught her how to ride a bicycle

Andromeda "Meda" Tonks (née Black)

Andromeda took in her niece when she had nowhere to go, treated her like family, and protected her from all sorts of danger. Provided love, care and support to Ammie during her traumatizing times. She was considered as a blood traitor, but that didn't stop her from saving her little niece

Nymphadora "Dora" Tonks

Ammie's sister, and best friend. Stood by her side for everything and supported her all the way. Provided comic relief and loves Ammie to death. With a stupid sense of humor, and a knack for creating mischief, she's Ammie's most beloved person

Jacob Black

The one who started it all. The idiot who got himself stuck in a portrait. All of this garbage began with him, and Ammie never lets him forget it. Very protective of his little sister and hates everyone for some reason

Misc family members: Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Walburga Black, Orion Black.

Friends: Rowan Khanna, Ben Copper, Bill Weasley, Penny Haywood, Nymphadora Tonks, Talbott Winger, Badeea Ali, Tulip Karasu, Jae Kim, Chiara Lobosca, Charlie Weasley, Barnaby Lee, and Liz Tuttle

Closest Canon Friends: Rowan Khanna, Nymphadora Tonks, Talbott Winger, Tulip Karasu, Jae Kim and Badeea Ali

Closest MC friends:

Alvina Arcane-Zheng ( @oneirataxia-girl)

Celeste Wheterstead ( @bananascrackersnuts)

Tessa Reed ( @hphm4ever)

Adel Young (@adellovesrowan)

Matthew Luther (@hphmmatthewluther)

Cato Reese (@catohphm)

Niky Dona, Sabina Ivylash and Persephone Palerosine (@nikyiscreepy)

Night Nur Rhea (@night-rhea)

(I don’t have much friends... Just lmk if your MC wants to be friends with mine)

Love Interest: Talbott Winger

Dorm Mates: Rowan Khanna, Tulip Karasu, Badeea Ali and Skye Parkin

Rival/ bestie: Merula Snyde

Enemies: Patricia Rakepick, R, The Wizard in White Robes

Pets: a female black kitten kneazle named Moonshine

✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦-✦

Trivia:

- Has a stuffed bear named Sir Boo Boo

- Really likes Indie Rock/Pop

- Ended up being in a band with Jae and Tonks by accident

- Pretty much hates the world in the morning

- Gets good marks in Divination by making up really tragic stories

- Can’t stand tea

- Fluent in French

- McGonagall claims to hate her, but she really thinks Ara’s rather daring

- Sings in the shower

- Annoys the heck out of Andre with her questionable fashion choices

- Stupid sense of humor

- Laughs like a witch

- Quotes Shakespeare when drunk

- Can skateboard like a pro

- Weird handwriting

- Messy yet organized

[mmvalentine]

Let Me Touch You Pt 9 | Feysand

High school AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10

The weeks floated by like soap bubbles on the breeze. In art class, Feyre and Rhys started making portraits of each other no matter what the new brief was- something in this room. Something in the cubist style. Something that makes you happy. In history and chemistry, Feyre started sitting next to Rhys, and her teachers said he was a bad influence on her but Mor did not get in trouble once. After school, Rhys held Feyre's hand on the walk home and sat with them in study group, with his ankles locked around hers under the table.

And on the days Rhys disappeared at lunch to visit his scruffy dog, Feyre would go with him, and scratch Bryaxis' ears, and kiss Rhys on the staircase until they had to run back to school to avoid being late for the next class.

Mor was a huge fan of their relationship from they day they kissed in history class, and was not shy about shoving them together any time she saw the opportunity. One such day, they were studying together right before midterms, and Mor got up all of a sudden and declared she couldn't keep going with Rhys and Feyre distracting her.

"What do you mean 'distracting'?" Rhys asked. "We've just been sitting here quietly working, you've gotten up fifteen times in the last hour." "Yes exactly," Mor said. "Because everything you do reminds me of something else I need to do. Like, when you drink water and I remember I have to pee." "Sorry Mor," Feyre said. "We'll try to be less distracting." "No no no, it's too late. I really have to nail this midterm, you guys are going to have to go work in Rhys' room or something I need to be left alone." Feyre shrugged at Rhys and began packing up her things.

They carried their armfuls of books back to Rhys' bedroom, and since Rhys' desk wasn't big enough for the both of them, he stationed Feyre at the table and dropped his own belongings on his bed. It took all of five minutes for Rhys to be finding an excuse to get her next to him.

"Feyre," he said. "I'm having trouble with this practice exam for history. Can you come quiz me on some of these dates?"

Feyre crossed the room and took the text book that Rhys was holding out for her. Over the next little while, she asked him questions and rewarded him with a kiss when he got the answer right.

"What year was Hitler appointed leader of Germany?" "1933." She kissed him on the nose. "What year did the Soviet Union invade Poland?" "1939." She kissed him on his jaw. "What year did Churchill become Prime Minster of England?" "1940." She kissed his Adam's apple. "Beginning with the bombing of Pearl Harbour, what year did the US officially join the world war?" "1941." She kissed him on the lips, and before she could move away, Rhys was pulling her into his lap and winding his hands through her hair.

xxxxxxxxxx

There were days when Rhys was perfectly content to just sit and watch Feyre, whether she was painting or concentrating or laughing with Mor, when just feeling the glow of her beauty took his breath away a little. And then there were days where it was all he could do not to eat her alive.

This day was one of the latter. Rhys had sat at the table with the girls, and although midterms were breathing down their necks, all he wanted to do was lock his cousin out of the house and make out with Feyre on the kitchen table. So when Mor had suggested they study in his room, Rhys couldn't leave fast enough.

Now he had her in his arms and if he could kiss her forever he would. Fuck midterms. Fuck it all.

He leaned back against the headboard, and moved his fingers in the strip of exposed skin where Feyre's shirt rode up. Feyre's fingernails scratched lightly in his hair behind his head, and when her tongue ran along his bottom lip, he went completely hard underneath her.

In the month that he and Feyre had been dating, Rhys had gotten over his embarrassment at how quickly his body responded to her. At first, he had tried to control it, and when that had been a complete failure, he tried to hide it. But it happened every gods damn time she put her soft, full lips anywhere near him, when she bumped against him with her hip, when she hugged him and her breasts pressed up against his chest. So, pretty well whenever she was around. And after a number of times where he knew she knew, but she didn't freak out or pull away or laugh, he began to worry less.

This time, Feyre was right in his lap and there was definitely no denying it. He squeezed his hands at her hips, and then she moved and the rolling pressure over his crotch had him hanging onto her for dear life. He kissed her more deeply, and when she reacted in kind, tightening her hands at his neck, he moaned lightly.

Feyre shifted around so she was straddling him, and suddenly she was seated right over his cock. Through his jeans and hers, he burned like she was the actual sun.

Rhys pulled away, and was met with vicious protestations from both his body and the girl in his lap. He groaned into her palm. "Feyre, Feyre Feyre," he said. "You're going to have to slow down." "Why?" Feyre said, and when she tilted her head she looked so fucking cute he could have died. "I'm not... you have to take it easy on me sometimes," Rhys said, touching his thumb to her chin. Concern clouded her lovely eyes. "Are you not ready for this yet?" she asked him. Rhys barked out a laugh. "Gods no, the opposite. I'm afraid I'll lose it and push us too far. I want to be careful with you, and I want you to feel safe with me."

Feyre leaned in and pressed another lush, long kiss to his lips. He melted.

"Thank you," Feyre said. "I do feel safe with you." She looked at his lips. "I appreciate you being careful but... I also want you to just talk to me about these things. We can decide what we're ready for, together, right?" Rhys nodded, and toyed with a lock of her honey and gold hair.

"Have you... you know, slept with anyone before?" he asked her. Feyre shifted. "Yes," she said. "Just once. A boy from my old school, last year during a football game." She made a face. "It kind of sucked, it was weird and awkward. But," she added, and her thumbs stroked at the back of his neck. "It wasn't like this, with Isaac. Not like how it is with us." "You didn't love him?" Rhys asked. Feyre blushed. "No," she said. "I didn't." She asked him the question back. "Have you slept with anyone?" "Yes," Rhys answered, playing with her hair again. "A few people, here and there." "A few?" Rhys shrugged. "After my parents died I sort of went a bit off the rails, did some stuff that probably wasn't the best." He looked up at her. "But I didn't love any of them, either. And that's why I want to be careful with you. Because I want it to be different, because I love you and I want you to know I would never, ever hurt you if I could help it, and I don't want you to feel like you're any random girl to me."

Feyre looked down, and when she met his eyes again she was a little breathless.

"You love me?" she said. "Yes," Rhys said, having never been so sure of anything in his life. "I do." "I love you too, Rhys," Feyre said, and this kiss tasted even sweeter than all the ones before it.

****

Gah I was so sure this would be the last part, but it's high school and I just want to be careful with my little babies. If people were not careful with you when you were eighteen, this one is for you.

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @whythefuckdoiexist @teddytdr

MASTERLIST

[tethrarisms]

I apologize in advance but @hoaryhoggoths​ and I created this Doomstrange x Good Omens AU and everything fits like a glove, I can’t.

Hear us out:

Aziraphale = Stephen

Crowley = Doom

Anathema = Wanda

Newt = Vision

Warlock = Valeria Richards

Warlock’s parents: Sue and Reed

Adam Young = Illyana Rasputin

Adam’s parents: Charles and Erik

Archangel Gabriel = Steve Rogers

Sandalphon = Tony Stark

Michael = Namor

Uriel = T'Challa

Pepper = Zelma

Wensleydale = Billy Kaplan

Brian = Nico Minoru

Sister Mary Loquacious = Scott Lang

Madame Tracy = Natasha

Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell = Bucky

Death = Death

Pollution = Oblivion

Famine = Eternity

War = Infinity

Beelzebub = Emma Frost

Hastur = Daimon

Ligur = Satana

Satan = Mephisto/Belasco

God = Vishanti

Stephen is the dumb angel who is both very smart and stupid, also he’s afraid of the Vishanti. Yet, he gives the Eye of Agamotto to Adam and Eve because he’s so caring and naive. And Doom immediately falls in love with him the moment he says “I GAVE IT AWAY”. Stephen call his bookshop “the Sanctum Sanctorum” but he hates having clients. He loves his old tomes very much. Also he loves food, mostly tea. Victor hates when Stephen says that “Vishanti’s plan is ineffable,” tho.

Doom, on the other hand, is very practical but he doesn’t like being a demon. He didn’t mean to fall, he just wanted to save his mother’s figure from hell and thus was cast away. The fall burned and scarred his face, this is why he wears sunglasses all the time. Everyone blames him for the misery he put humanity through but actually he does nothing wrong ever (the only exception being when he plays god with his plants). “GROW BETTAAAAH”, he screams dramatically. Doom was once a very powerful archangel and created Alpha Centauri. Now he just grows more and more attached to the dumb angel at Greenwich Village.

When Satana and Daimon gave the Antichrist (Illyana) to Victor, he left the baby in Father Lang’s hands. He was supposed to switch the US Ambassador and wife’s (Reed and Sue Richards) child and the Antichrist, but he screwed things up. Illyana ended up going to Erik and Charles’ home, while Valeria became Sue and Reed’s child. The third child is unkown to us.

Stephen and Victor then, intending to avoid doomsday, have this brilliant idea to infiltrate the Richards’ Baxter Mansion and being figures of bad and good influence to Valeria. Victoria is now her nanny, while Brother Steven is the gardner. Victoria will sing lullabies about conquering the world and crushing enemies, while Brother Steven will say: “Don’t listen to her. Listen to me.”

When they conclude their mission, they return to their regular activities, believing Valeria will not become the Antichrist. Except they’re wrong. During Valeria’s 11th birthday party, they expected the hellhound to appear. But it never shows up. “Wrong child.”

The hellhound finds Illyana, who names it Bats. Nico, Billy and Zelma are Illy’s best friends and they’re inseparable. Charles and Erik are worried about Illy, but they try their best to be good parents.

In the meantime, Wanda Maximoff flies to America in order to find the Antichrist. She carries her family’s legacy: witchcraft and the book called Darkhold. Interestingly enough, Wanda loses the Darkhold when Victor hits her with his car. Wanda only accepts their aid because she’s so sure they’re a gay couple. “Come on, angel.” Oh, everything makes sense now. Also Victor is so bitter, he keeps teasing Stephen for performing miracles. “Oh, Vishanti, heal this bike.”

We’re also introduced to Vision, a synthezoid who, ironically enough, is bad with computers. Vision meets an old man named Sergeant Bucky who is very committed to find and burn witches. He lives next to Madame Natasha, whom he despises for her profession. Bucky hires Vision as a witchfinder.

Meanwhile, Archangel Steve Rogers and Tony go visit Stephen in the Sanctum regarding the Antichrist. They’re bad at playing humans. “Thank you for my pornography!” Tony yells for everyone to hear. “You can’t make a war without war! That’s brilliant, Tony!”, Steve says. There are other angels, such as T’Challa and Namor. Rumors say they’re called the Illuminati.

As doomsday approaches, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse rise: Eternity, Infinity, Oblivion and Death.

Finding out that Doom lied about the Antichrist, Satana and Daimon Hellstrom go haunt Victor. Satana ends up dead (but not really because these two always come back). White Queen of Hell Emma Frost is not pleased, though. Good thing her demonic group called The Cabal was in cahoots with one of the Illuminati, the archangel Namor.

As things get more complicated, Stephen and Victor have an argument. Victor wants to go to Alpha Centauri and Stephen is afraid of betraying Heaven.

"How long have been acquaintances?"

"Acquaintances? We're not acquaintances. We're an angel and a demon."

Victor tries to convince him one last time but Stephen is adamant. “We can run away together. Alpha Centauri!” When Stephen refuses once more, Victor is tired and angry and frustrated. “I’m going home, Angel. And when I’m off in the stars, I won’t even think about you!”

Victor, obviously, can’t live without Stephen. So of course he goes back to the Sanctum, only to find it in flames. He’s desperate, mostly because he knows the pain of being burned, but Stephen is nowhere to be found. “SOMEONE KILLED MY BEST FRIEND! FOOLS! ALL OF YOU!” He then saves the only book that didn’t become ash, the Darkhold.

Stephen, on the other hand, accidentally goes to Heaven and returns to Earth without a body. He then, after reassuring Victor, possesses Madame Natasha and, with Sergeant Bucky’s help, go after the Antichrist.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are defeated by Nico, Billy and Zelma. Illy fixes Stephen’s body situation. Emma and Steve, on the other hand, are not pleased, but they can’t make a point about Vishanti’s ineffable plan. Mephisto/Belasco then appear, which makes Doom loses all hope. “We’re fucked!” he utters. Stephen is not convinced and forces Victor to act, or he’ll never talk to him again. Victor curses and stops time itself so they can come up with a plan. They show their true form (their wings are huge and beautiful) and hold Illyana’s hands. When the devil comes for her, the girl shouts that they’re not her dad. She keeps yelling until it becomes true. Her dads, after all, are Erik and Charles.

Heaven and Hell then want their revenge on Stephen and Victor, but they swap  bodies. Victor laughst at Steve, T’Challa and Tony’s faces when they try to burn him, while Stephen is having so much fun in the bathtub filled with holy water, courtesy of Namor

When all is over, they bodyswap back and have a very pleasant date at the Ritz.

“I like to think that none of this would have worked out if you weren’t, at heart, just a little bit of a good person.”

“And if you weren’t, deep down, just enough of a fool to be worth knowing.”

“To the world.”

---

I might be forgetting something but!!! BUT!!! THIS!!

[the-ace-with-spades]

(5/6) the best is yet to be

five times someone realized Ronan and Adam were basically married and one time they actually were

Part 1 │Part 2 │Part 3 │Part 4 │Part 6

Read on ao3

Declan wasn't surprised when Ronan told him he was gay, in fact, he didn't react at all, just shrugged and asked if Ronan would eat dinner with him and Matthew.

Declan wasn't surprised easily.

There was no big deal. Declan wasn't one of those Catholics and Ronan wasn't on the way to become a saint, if not for the obvious faith in God,  Declan would say he was closer to becoming a satanist, really. If anything, this was less explicit and less worrying than picking him from the police station again or finding out he was dropping out to become a farmer. And it wasn't like Ronan was hiding it — Declan confirmed the suspicions the moment he moved in with Gansey but he suspected long before that.

He supposed this was what happened when your little brother leaves gay porn magazines just out in the open on his bed and you're the one hiding them from your homophobic father. Not that he would tell Ronan that, the experience would be equally traumatising and embarrassing to both of them and Declan didn't like to share the burden.

Adam Parrish was a fucking surprise.

Declan knew of Adam Parrish because of school, first. He was the quiet scholarship kid that didn't attract much attention except for his obvious poorness. Well, he was quiet until he was destroying Declan in the debate club. He still didn't talk much about himself, not like every Aglionby guy who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread, but Declan could understand that. He could understand that because he knew that sometimes you hide so many things that you no longer know who you are.

But that didn't make him less suspicious. Parrish joined the merry Gansey gang of traumatised misfits suddenly and without trying — so Declan did a background check on him.

His suspicion became deeper. He didn't like Ronan to think this was a friendship and not a transaction — Parrish had to have ulterior motives. He seemed to be a person that would definitely have less to give and more to take.

But then he didn't take anything.

The night Declan went to the police station with the knowledge that Ronan bit Robert Parrish, he thought it was the end, that this was the final charge that money won't be able to drop and that Ronan will have to be bailed out and smuggled out to Canada to not go to jail.

And then Declan came in and the police officer told him that Robert Parrish is being charged and they needed Ronan to testify to make the charge stick and he couldn't testify without a legal guardian present.

No one said anything about Ronan getting arrested because Adam Parrish admitted to his deepest secret.

And Declan was sure this was the end of niceties from Parrish, that he was going to use it as an excuse to move into that warehouse Ronan called home and sponge off on Gansey's kindness and Ronan's guilt.

And then he fucking didn't. So Declan gave him the pass.

And then, months later, Ronan told them he was gay.

The next Sunday, Parrish came to the Mass with him, wearing a secondhand suit and Ronan's tie.

"This is my fucking boyfriend," Ronan told him and Matthew on the steps to St. Agnes. "Deal with it."

Declan rolled his eyes. Adam rolled his eyes fondly. Declan frowned. Adam raised an eyebrow.

Matty asked if Adam was Catholic. Declan raised an eyebrow — he knew he wasn't.

"No," Adam answered. "I'm the emotional support."

True to his word, Parrish didn't pray, didn't kneel and didn't move during the sign of peace offering. Instead, whenever Ronan sat down next to him, his hand would wander to Ronan's on its own, like it was natural for him, and Ronan wouldn't oppose, just curl his fingers over his knuckles and caress it with his thumb.

There was, Declan found out over time, a huge amount of hands involving the two.

They walked out of the church holding hands too and held them together when Declan drove them all to the cheap diner Ronan insisted on. Parrish insisted on paying for his food an hour later and it became obvious why Ronan wanted to go to this exact place.

It was strange to see Ronan care about somebody and care enough to think about this kind of details — he knew Ronan did care, even if never about Declan, but it felt strange on another level. Like he had seen it before but didn't realize.

Declan tended to erasure Adam Parrish from his mind most of the time — if anything, he was safe for the Lynch family.

Parrish was a good influence if one compared being smitten to being influenced. Declan tended to use it to his own advantage — although Ronan would often refuse for the sake of refusing, he refused Parrish less than anyone else. He encouraged Ronan to modernise the farm — with a promise that he'll fix anything that breaks for him, or so Matty had heard — and actually, somehow convinced him to pay taxes, which was in itself a miracle — Declan felt like buying him a car just for that. He had to cover up enough tax fraud thanks to their dad and he wasn't going to do it again.

So Parrish was a good influence and when Declan didn't feel like dealing with Ronan's snark, he would text or call Parrish.

Not gonna be in church tomorrow, was a text Declan got one Saturday, waiting for Matty to get back from an outing with his lacrosse buddies.

He had to blink a couple of times because he hadn't had an unprompted text from Ronan in over two years. He wondered whether Parrish wrote it out of courtesy — or because he didn't want to deal with Declan either.

He called Parrish. He didn't pick up. He called Ronan. He didn't pick up. He called again.

A text came.

Fuck off

It was definitely Ronan.

The next day, Declan considered the option that Ronan was joking. Out of all the things, Ronan would never miss church, he couldn't recall even one time — Ronan would sooner come drunk or hangover to church than not come at all.

He didn't show up. So Declan left Matthew in a restaurant and drove to the Barns.

No one came out even when the Wolvo roared in front of the house. Declan left the car, ready for a disaster.

He hesitated before coming in.

He didn't visit the Barns that often but it was often enough that he had seen Ronan and Adam in enough compromising positions that made him wish he could burn a hole in place of those memories. He was never to see the kitchen counter the same and definitely never again prepare food on it. Knocking was safer.

He knocked. No one answered. He knocked louder.

There was a terribly loud screech behind him and Ronan's awful bird from hell landed on the balustrade of the porch, staring at him in the same way Ronan would if he was pissed. This was another reason why he never visited the Barns — everything, including his brother and his brother's boyfriend, crept him out.

He knocked again, louder and longer. No one opened.

He looked around, ignoring more screeching. Both Parrish's fugly car and Ronan's BMW are tucked behind the closest barn.

He banged on the door. Shouted, "Ronan, open up. For fuck's sake, I know you're inside," and banged again.

The door opened and Ronan, looking more pissed off than he had seen him in a long time.

"You fuckface," he said, which in Ronan-language meant a greeting. "Shut up."

Declan opened his mouth but articulated nothing before the cries came out from the inside of the kitchen. He frowned.

"What was that?"

Ronan groaned and went back inside, not bothering to close the door in Declan's face, which was a red flag in itself.

Declan went after him, straight to the living room.

The cries were Opal's. She was currently tucked into Parrish's arm, her head curled under his chin and bailing her eyes out. Parrish wasn't just holding her — he was making shushing noises and rocking her back and forth.

"It's alright, sugarplum," he was saying, in the sweetest tone that sounded so out of place on him. "It'll go away, I promise."

Ronan's whole body softened with every step he took towards Parrish. He reached out and brushed Opal's curls in a gesture that Declan often, as a child, would seek from their mom.

"Did you get it?" Adam asked over Opal's sniffling.

His eyes moved around Ronan's face and noticed Declan, standing a couple of feet away.

"No, got sidetracked," he said. When Parrish sent him a look, he added, "But I'm going to, right away."

"Grab the baby Tylenol while you are at it."

Ronan went without a word, disappearing behind the corner to the foyer and the stairs.

"How is your toothache, baby?" Adam asked. "Any better?"

Opal answered him with a sob and buried a snotty nose into his t-shirt.

Parrish looked up at him like he expected Declan to say something.

Kids weren't Declan's thing.

Parrish adjusted Opal in his arms, rocking back and forth again, until Ronan came back downstairs, holding a tube of tooth gum gel and liquid Tylenol.

Parrish adjusted Opal again, this time holding her under legs so she was sitting up more in his arms. Ronan didn't even stop, just unscrewed the Tylenol and gave her a spoonful — she opposed a little, hiding under Adam's chin, but gave in easily enough after he shushed her again.

Parrish rocked her some more when Ronan went to the sink and washed his hands and put some of the gel on his finger.

"Come on, you little gremlin," Ronan said, calm. "You know that's going to help."

Parrish caressed her hair but she still shook her head, whimpering.

"Open up, munchkin," Ronan added.

She did, after three or so tries, and Ronan actually managed to coat her gum in the gel.

As soon as he was done, she flattered in Parrish's arms and Ronan brushed her hair again.

Opal, for most of the time, wasn't exactly a normal child — she didn't need the constant attention, could eat a lot of weird stuff without a trip to ER or could be left alone for long periods of time. She wasn't a baby, so she couldn't be anyone's baby.

But for some of the time, she was an actual child, living with Ronan and his boyfriend, being partially dependant on them. She wasn't a baby but they were parenting her.

"You could give her some ice cubes," he said because nothing else came to mind. His common sense screamed, You're nineteen, you can't parent a child together, but he said instead, "That's what mom used to do."

Ronan went to the fridge immediately.

Opal fell asleep fifteen minutes later.

After Ronan took her from Adam's hands and carried upstairs, Adam, in shortly, explained.

Opal bit something, yesterday's evening, and ruined two of her teeth, which for a creature that hadn't felt any major pain yet was traumatising. Ronan went to get a baby Tylenol and tooth gel from the closest open pharmacy while Adam stayed with her. She just fell asleep when Declan came by.

"Ronan called every dentist within twenty miles but no one had any appointments left for today," he said. "So we're taking her to the dentist tomorrow morning."

We.

Declan probably should be protesting, should be intervening, should be doing something. But somehow, he just felt proud.

Ronan was impulsive, greedy and selfish. Probably shouldn't be trusted with himself, not to mention a kid.

But he wasn't screwing up, yet, and Declan hoped he would never screw this up. Whatever this was.

[first-son-of-finwe]

So this is my “leaving the fold” essay, which I mentioned some time ago. I wrote this mostly for myself because writing things down always helps me make sense of them, but quite a few people expressed interest in it, so here it is. 

I was raised as quite a strict Orthodox Christian, and the religion is a huge part of my mum’s life. This is mostly my experience of its ideas and processes, and how and why I ultimately decided to leave. It’s a bit rambling, all over the place and very long, but I kinda wanted to post it somewhere, so 🤷

TW for mentions of abortion, alcoholism and general conflict.

When I was twelve or thirteen, my parents and I set off on one of our regular trips to Russia. We used to do this every year before time and money became restricted, and one of our compulsory stops was always a large, sprawling monastery on the outskirts of the city of Nizhny Novgorod.

It’s a place of smiling nuns but very strict rules, where God forms a part of every sentence and church is mandatory for both mornings and evenings. It’s a place of communal meals, harvesting vegetables and milking cows, ringing bells, and lots and lots of praying. For me, it was a taste of pure rural life. I loved running through the fields, swimming in the pond and helping out with the manual tasks of running a communal settlement. I gasped in delight when I saw the lone horse in the field. Deep down I was never meant to be a city kid, and being at the monastery fuelled my dream of living the simple life.

But the fact that we were there purely for religious reasons? That was only an afterthought. An obligatory thing I had to go along with, because the adults expected it. Perhaps I tried to feel the same spirituality they seemed to experience, but I never quite got there.

I put on the headscarf, held the candle, wrote the names of my loved ones on prayer notes for the living. I bowed to the icons, made the sign of the cross when everyone else did. But I never truly connected.

One year on the day of a particularly significant celebration, a huge icon was carried over a horde of kneeling worshippers, and my mum told me to kneel down and pray for my dad to recover from his alcoholism. And so I did.

This is something I’d been praying for for a long time. It’s something I was told to pray for at every holy site, and before every relic. And no, he’s never quit drinking.

But I already knew that he wouldn’t, even as I knelt, closed my eyes and begged whichever saint was on that icon to help my dad quit drinking. I simply knew that it didn’t work that way.

I knew it the same way I knew that Santa wasn’t real. Every child seems to have experienced a shock-horror moment upon learning that they’d been deceived, but I recognised him for what he was right from the start - a story. For someone who’s always thrown themselves wholeheartedly into stories and fantasy, I’ve always had a very clear distinction between fact and fiction - though I’ve also not been so close-minded as to think that there isn’t a grey area in between.

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I don’t think I ever truly believed in their version of what was supposed to be happening.

But I think my moving away from Orthodoxy truly began the day I heard my mum on the phone to her friend, who was at the beginning of a difficult pregnancy and was considering an abortion. She and her husband were on different pages with regards to this, though I don’t quite remember who wanted what. My mother’s advice was this: “Well you should really listen to your husband, because you know that a husband’s word is God’s word.”

Even being the believer that I was then, my immediate reaction was complete shock, followed by a thought process that went something like “Are you joking?? SERIOUSLY?”

And of course, it was hard not to think of my own father in his worst moments of drunkenness. So it seems “God’s word” is actually a whole lot of slurred, barely comprehensible nonsense occasionally sprinkled with some insults. That’s really the logic we’re going with here? And beyond that, how can you hand such a deeply personal decision to someone else??

When I went away to university for three years and spent considerable chunks of time away from my mother’s influence, my skepticism only deepened with every day. I couldn’t reconcile the science-driven environment I saw around me with the ideas being propounded in church. Sincerely believing in the Adam and Eve story, in this day and age? It didn’t compute.

Having said that, I would certainly not call myself an atheist even now. I think it is just as presumptuous to assume your absolute knowledge of the infinite universe and declare it contains nothing, as it is to declare that your religion is the only correct one. I find many things about the Christian God to be extremely convenient (just so happens to be an old white bearded man, oh fancy that), but I am certainly not convinced that there are no intelligent forces in the world, whatever shape they take. We are simply not in a position to know these things, and I’m okay with that. 

In turn, I treat anyone who claims to know them with intense suspicion.

Ultimately, leaving Orthodox Christianity was a long and painful process (I say ‘was’ in the past tense, but the truth is that it is still ongoing) filled with guilt, second-guessing, deliberate habit breaking and an extremely distressed and persistent mother. But my reasons for it boil down to four key things.

Their ideas did not match my ideas. I will never believe that women are obliged to be submissive to men. I will never believe that being gay (or in any way not straight) is a sin. I will never believe that Eastern Orthodoxy is the one true faith among all the other hundreds and thousands of faiths that exist on this planet. Living with your partner without being married is not a sin. Eating some chicken on a lent day is not a sin. A woman on her period is not “unclean.” Their ideas of good and bad, right and wrong seemed so incredibly outdated and arbitrary that it became hard to take anything they said seriously. And I felt so uncomfortable standing there, surrounded by people who I knew believed in all of this wholeheartedly.

Despite the religion branding itself as ‘Christian’, I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of the priests or worshippers talk about helping others. It is not on the agenda. People walk into church and think that because they’ve said their prayers, abstained from meat and dairy and then said their prayers some more, they’re now good people. But what have they done to make anyone’s life better? Who have they helped? Who have they listened to, cared for, understood? It’s not about that. It’s about making yourself feel good because you recited the Lord’s Prayer before eating your lunch.

The process of participating is extremely rigid, and trying to remember all those rules and traditions is honestly just stressful. Which hand do I kiss? How many times do I have to make the sign of the cross before approaching that super special icon? Do I have to touch the floor, or is that optional? Oh, everyone is kneeling...I guess I should kneel too. Once, I accidentally addressed the Archbishop as ‘Father’ and got a slew of disapproving looks from everyone around me. I think perhaps people find a certain kind of comfort and stability in routine, but having one imposed on you when you’re constantly unsure of the rules is not a pleasant experience.

Sometimes there is a very thin line between a religion and a cult, and Orthodoxy is toeing it a little too closely for comfort. I’ve seen it overpower people’s rational thinking and tap into their most powerful emotions in a way that’s honestly quite frightening.

The first step to leaving was progressively going to church less and less. I’d only ever really gone because my mum demanded it, but now, I put up a bit more resistance. I got screamed and yelled and cried at, and at first, of course I gave in. But little by little, I began to get the message across that I was simply not interested anymore.

Then, I deliberately made the choice to break certain habits. We always faced a row of icons on the wall and made a sign of the cross before leaving the house, and coming back in. It was such an ingrained habit that I did it automatically, and for the first few months, I had to physically catch myself in order to stop. That came with its own sense of guilt and hesitancy, and with the feeling that hey, now God is mad at you - hope a brick doesn’t fall on your head when you’re out there without his blessing.

The next step was removing the cross I’d worn around my neck ever since I’d been christened as a baby. Even now I can’t not wear something around my neck, so I have a little key necklace there in its place. Having a bare neck just looks too weird to me.

That cross came off and went back on at least three times. Each time I’d be persuaded, guilted, given the simple but effective phrase of “just do it for me.” I’ve removed it for what I hope will be the last time, and “just do it for me” won’t cut it anymore. If I converted to Islam tomorrow, would it be okay for me to ask someone to wear a hijab “for me”, even though they don’t share my faith? No, it wouldn’t. Religion and expression of religion is a personal choice, and not something you can strong-arm your adult children into.

Now, I’m in a fairly comfortable place where I’ve shed most of that initial guilt and am happy with my choices. I’ve even been back into church a couple of times just to meet a family member, only catching the end of the service - and even then, I’ve been reminded of exactly why I left. My mindset is simply too far removed to find any spiritual value in Orthodoxy.

Does my mother still try to get me into church? Yes. Are the attempts extremely mild and infrequent, compared to what they used to be? Yes. On one hand, I’d like to have a deep conversation with her and explain all the reasons why I have no interest in the religion anymore, but on the other hand, I know it’ll likely make her extremely upset.

Perhaps it’s better to just let it be.

[magaprima]

I really want Lilith in any post-part 4 threads to be connected to Hecate. There were hints at this direction in Part 4 (Zelda stating needing representatives of each aspect, and then Lilith being the Mother aspect, Adam’s birth being blessed by Hecate, Lucifer saying ‘this is where you’ve been keeping yourself; a Temple of Hecate’, and Lilith pointing out ‘She was the Goddess of Witches and I was the first witch’, and then Lilith praying to her in her darkest moments) and then with the cut scene where they show the eyes of the Hecate statue glowing, showing Hecate would have been a more direct part of Part 5, I feel it just feels naturally and inevitable to have Lilith tied/connected to her too. Especially as stabbing Lucifer, banishing him, could be seen as a metaphor for Lilith cutting ties entirely with her old life.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, since Part 4 dropped, of how Lilith and Hell and Hecate could be intertwined (especially, as, like I and others have said, when Lilith looks at the throne in episode 8 it’s with the expression of ‘this is a means to an end’ rather than the way she used to look at the throne like it was, to quote Lilith herself, ‘the only thing she ever wanted’), especially as Baby Adam is a really interesting factor I feel had to play a part at some point in the future, as he is an heir to Hell’s Throne, but he was also born in a temple of Hecate under Hecate’s blessing and her direct help. He’s in two worlds as much as Sabrina was. 

We know Lilith can’t give up Hell anymore for the same reason Sabrina claimed to take the throne; to stop demons making the mortal realm into a tenth circle. We need a ruler who doesn’t want to destroy all of the mortal realm. So, she can’t just turn her back on it all, it is, also, Adam’s Kingdom by blood. We all pretty much confirm that Lilith’s intent was to resurrect Adam (as it’s only when she has his soul returned to her that she starts working on getting her powers back. Also the fetish doll is a tool that can be used for soul transference as much as hosting). 

Now, the Hell in the CAOS mythology seems to have been created by Lucifer (or discovered by him? They make it slightly fuzzy on those particular details. But he is definitely the one who built the actual Kingdom) but it doesn’t need him to exist, as proven when he is put in the acheron, and when he is banished by Lilith (I mean the Plague Kings claimed that Lilith ruling it was upsetting the cosmos, but we had no evidence of that at all. What did upset the cosmos was there being two Sabrinas) We’ve also seen that whoever rules Hell effects how it appears (prime example is that, under Sabrina Morningstar, the fashions change and it’s much more party-like and there is a lot of actually edible food) so it is capable of mutating, of changing into something else. 

Lilith has, during her time at the Academy, obviously been influenced (positively) by the presence of Hecate and the support of the coven. The Lilith taking the throne at the end of Part 4 is not the same Lilith who took it at the end of Part 2. Part 2 finale Lilith was all about running Hell exactly as she’d always seen it run, but Part 4 Lilith has seen how a coven changed completely and become more powerful for it, and she’s now experienced support, affection, people welcoming her etc etc. She’s also experienced the love for her son and the grief of losing him. These are all major changing things. This Lilith is, I suspect, not going to be at all inclined to run things how Lucifer did or, even, how Sabrina did. 

Lilith’s identity is tied to her being the first witch. It’s the only title she gives herself in Part 4- not Mother of Demons, not Queen of Hell, just ‘first witch’- and shows how much it is a huge part of who she is. Also, as I said in another post, Lucifer’s curse of humanity would have destroyed/erased the demoness in her, which would not have come back when she took her powers back by drinking his blood. So physically who she is has changed too. The only thing that never changed is the fact she’s a witch (even when Lucifer ‘strips’ her of her Satanic powers, she still has enough of her own powers to summon Caliban, to enter Hell etc) so being a witch is, I feel, going to be a key part of Lilith’s Hell, and that’s another part of how she’d be linked to Hecate. 

So, so far, Lilith’s direct links to Hecate are

1. She’s the first witch and Hecate is the Goddess of Witches 2. Hecate blessed the birth of her son, Adam  3. Adam himself is half a witch.  4. Lilith had sanctuary in a temple of Hecate 5. Lilith’s direct prayers to Hecate stopped her from taking her own life and also led to Marie gifting her Baby Adam’s soul

There’s no escaping the connection. But how do we actively bring Hecate into Hell, if Hell is a realm in its own right, and was created by an angel of the False God? And in my thinking and analysing and theorising, I realised:

 Baby Adam. 

Lilith has baby Adam’s soul. She has it ready for him to be brought back to life. Lilith, we know, can create bodies from scratch. True, we’ve only seen her demons, but odds are she create something that looks normal (after all, her demonic creations were not made with a soul as Adam would be) so Lilith can, relatively easily, create a body for Adam to return to. But a body and a soul, even when joined, still need life. 

Now, I headcanoned that Lilith would craft Adam’s body out of earth, because that’s what she was made of, and that would connect them as Mother and Son, that they’d still be of the same flesh and blood as it were. But to bring Lilith to life, the False God breathed divine energy into her, a breath of divinity moulded earth into flesh and made her into a living, flesh-and-bone woman (unlike Caliban, who, despite appearances, has been shown to be very much still clay). Obviously, the False God isn’t an option....but Hecate is. 

What if Baron Samedi gave Lilith Adam’s soul, Lilith crafted the body, but Hecate is the one who gives him life, just as she did in his natural birth? Especially as the birth meant he was already under Hecate’s blessing? I think, personally, that makes complete sense; it also a nice trinity aspect to Adam’s rebirth which parallels religion and what not. 

But Hecate being the one to breathe Adam to life is a pretty big gift. Huge in fact. And obviously puts Lilith, not in service, but in debt to Hecate . When you do ask things from spirits/deities/etc you do offer something in return. It could be a donation to charity, their favourite food, a new plant to add to your garden or home, something that you say ‘in exchange for your help, I will do this’. In exchange for Hecate’s help with Baby Adam (making him it could be reasoned, even more tied to Hecate than he is to Lucifer), Lilith offers Hell itself, and Hell becomes part of Hecate’s realms. 

Hecate is a psychopomp, she is a guardian and guide between living and death already, she has the keys to all the realms, so Hell would never have been out-of-bounds for her, so the idea of having Hecate honoured in Hell is not impossible, and it would mean that in the absence of Lucifer, something even more divine has taken his place, to give power to the realm and to keep Pandemonium going etc. 

It would mean Lilith (and eventually Adam) would rule the domain, but it would be almost as if it were ‘ruling in honour of’, essentially being regents to Hecate herself I suppose, or, if you want to have parallels to Greendale and Zelda’s coven; Infernal High Priestess. Basically, it would be in the same energy of the likes of Medea (a deliberate choice of reference here, because Lilith already compared herself to her) or Circe; extremely powerful witches, so powerful some say they’re Goddesses themselves, who do, in turn, worship Hecate, but have Kingdoms/Domains of their own over which they rule. 

I just instinctively feel this is the type of Hell and the type of rule Lilith would have post-part 4. It means souls would still go there as they always have, perhaps even using Sabrina M’s suggestion of ‘one soul in, one soul out’, it would still act as an underworld realm, just as Hades is, but now would be powered by a new deity, and the entire ‘house of Morningstar’ thing would, ironically, become irrelevant, allowing Lilith (and Adam) to have cut ties with that name completely. I imagine you would get demons leaving, others staying and enjoying the change, and you would get newcomers; realms are fluid and Hell would be no different in that regard. 

This would also mean that Lilith, Hell and Baby Adam would still be tied to the coven in Greendale due to their shared worship/connection with Hecate, which means the coven and Hell would finally be on the same connected side again as they were in part 1, but in a different and more positive way. It would also have allowed, with any Part 5 storylines, for there to be a reason for the two worlds and characters to interact.