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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.

author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???

you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side

something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas

you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration

you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly

the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(

but one particular thing is especially adorable to you

and that would be the owner

when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked

levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans

you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier

he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop

it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy

honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes

today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area

the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside

but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains

“you looked bothered by the light.”

oh god.

it’s him.

he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say

humanity’s strongest soldier

levi ackerman

also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now

seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order

he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages

that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous

you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it

but, no, no, no.

you’re panicking just looking at him

soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing

“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”

why the fuck did you ha ha????

this is so awkward.

putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid

then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile

nobody.......

levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known

instead he firmly nods and turns away

you’ve messed up,,

only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?

without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop

as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again

hahahahaha

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”

the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him

but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi

when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him

his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it

“secret?” he questions

“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.

“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”

hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again

he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly

but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to

despite that, it’s quite enjoyable

it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in

but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass

your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it

sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb

occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind

he wants to lean in and smooth it out.

all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to

he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)

ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories

it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new

he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest

you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations

you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left

there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries

you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two

it’s been four months

four months since you asked what his secret was

come to think of it he never told you what it was

he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense

feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself

recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi

you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type

he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people

not you.

you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop

honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here

however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule

no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it

but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying

there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct

absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you

“y/n?”

looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something

humming in response telling him to continue he does

“i like someone.”

oh.

“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”

you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.

“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”

keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.

levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands

you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position

“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively

finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.

“would you date me?”

the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled

soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement

“nevermind, that was stupid.”

ignoring him you still want to answer

“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”

he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.

“you’ve thought about...?”

“dating you. yes i have.”

“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you

“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”

you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)

“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”

his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open

you shouldn’t have said all of that.

you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.

but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.

“let’s date.”

you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers

what did he just say???

he has to be losing his mind

“but levi what about the person you like?”

his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.

“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly

this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.

pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain

okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...

“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense

“yes. i like you.”

he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*

you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha

cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours

the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily

“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it

“you’re not funny.”

“but you still like me.” you tease

“yes. i still like you.” he admits

a few days have passed since then

you and levi have been the talk of the town

humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???

the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far

levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache

today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea

just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to

“drink up before it’s ice cold.”

following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea

your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response

“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea

“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”

and without a seconds hesitation he responds.

“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”

it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention

you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop

and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books

:-)

#leviiattacks #aot #attack on titan #levi x reader #levi x y/n #snk #aot fanfiction #attack on titan levi #levi ackerman #levi #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi drabbles #attack on titan x reader #levi fanfiction #levi headcanons #tea shop levi #levi scenario #levi fluff

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hopeless-ro-simptic · 4 years ago

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Familiar Cerulean Eyes Part 2

Not sure if that name is going to stick but it’s what I’ve got for now. Also thank you so much? The reactions I got for part one literally made me want to cry. I’ve never posted my writings because I didn’t think that I would get any kind of response. When we hit 7 notes in the first hour I was beyond ecstatic and I thought that that would be it. But 150 notes later and I couldn’t wait to post part 2. Let me know what y’all think of this. I don’t know if I will get a part 3 out as quickly but I do plan to work on it.

Click here for full list of other parts. Part 3

Slow burn, no smut in this part but maybe a spicy moment.

Taglist: @skzero-99 @superblyspeedydragon @jparra4587 @flyingowls @emrysaaryn @imuziawi @sheedaabee @peculiarinsomniac

Word Count: Just over 3 k

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Dabi had left you alone for long enough to go get food that you had already scoured his entire room, searching for any way to escape. You had learned that even though the window looked like it could open at some point, it had been sealed shut somehow and you didn’t have the strength to open it. Other than the window, there were two doors in the room. One leading to a small bathroom complete with a tub/shower combo, the other being the door that lead out of the room but was unfortunately locked when Dabi left.

As for the room itself, all it held was a queen sized bed, well really it was a mattress on top of a box spring, with holes in the blankets and sheets that looked like burn marks and a singular pillow that looked like he had owned it for years it was so flat. A dresser that was scarce in the amount of clothing it had in it, seemingly like majority of it was dirty in the corner on the floor next to but not in the torn up laundry hamper, almost all of it black or a shade resembling. The black chair that sat in the opposite corner of the bed that again looked like it had seen better days. Oh and a cigarette tray that was filled to the brim and a fan that was perched on top of his dresser pointing towards the bed. That was about it. The walls were bare other than scorch marks and burns here and there, the blinds were dusty, and the wooden floor was cold and scratched like it had been well worn for several years, burn marks from stray cigarettes being put out.

The Omega in you hated it, they wanted to start cleaning and organizing to find warm cozy things to build a comfort nest out of. The rational part of you saw it as what it was, a hideout for a villain. Not a place to get comfy in. Still you couldn’t sit here and wait. It was driving you nuts.

You had just finished picking up the discarded cigarettes on the floor into a nice neat pile on his dresser and was moving towards putting his dirty laundry into the hamper when Dabi returned. Cautiously opening the door to see what you were doing, he slipped in before shutting it and locking it behind him, takeout food in his hands.

“Look at you, being a perfect little housewife.” The smirk that was ever present on his face was bigger than normal and you immediately dropped the t-shirt that you had been staring at, turning and looking at him, your cheeks heating up at being caught.

He glanced at the bloodied shirt on the floor that was covered in soot and burn marks like the rest of his clothes and he shrugged, placing the food down on the counter before turning to you.

“Part of the job babe.”

You scoffed, crossing your arms and pulling in on your self again. You couldn’t help the fact that your omega blushed at the nickname. You had never been spoken to like that. Ever. Even given the context you couldn’t help but squirm.

The smell of food made you take a step towards him though. You were starving and looking at what he had brought had your mouth watering. He had two different ramen bowls and a rice bowl to go with it. It looked like heaven. Not to mention a whole bag of other snacks to eat as well. You grabbed a water bottle from the bag, forgetting just how thirsty you were as you quickly drank almost half of the bottle in one swoop, hungrily looking between all the food.

“Take your pick princess, I’ll eat whatever you don’t want.” He gave you space to choose through everything, electing to drop back into his chair on the other side of the room, picking up the shirt you had dropped and tossing it into the hamper like he had just learned a new trick.

You quickly choose your preferred out of the options of ramen, leaving the snack bag alone for later. You might need it. Choosing to sit on the floor, against the bed rather than the bed itself so that you had a sturdy surface to put your food, you internally thanked yourself for picking up all the cigarettes.

You could feel his eyes on you, but you refused to look up as you quietly ate the food. It was a couple minutes before he got up and grabbed his own food, choosing instead to sit on the floor next to you than to return to his chair. His legs spread out in front of him, showing you just how long they were, how much bigger than you he was. Your mouth was watering from not just the food anymore, his scent enveloping you from being this close. You briefly thought that he was probably pumping it out more just to get a reaction from you, but you refused to show it. You weren’t going to play this alpha’s game. You just needed to keep a level head until you could escape. You were just going to ignore him, just enough to stay on his good side, but not to attract further attention from him. You could do that, you had been playing a similar game for years.

“So are you going to tell me your name..? Unless you just want me to keep calling you princess?” You accidentally dropped a rice ball into your ramen, the hot broth splashing onto your hand causing you to flinch at the burn.

Dabi let out a soft hum, setting down his bowl and taking yours away before you could even protest. He took your hand into his own, wiping off the broth gently with a clean napkin that he had gotten from the takeout bag and examining the burn. You couldn’t help but watch him, entranced but how gentle he was being. It was hard to connect the fact that this man, this alpha, was a known murderer. He killed people. He was a known League of Villains member, and yet here you were, letting him kiss your hand like he was a crowned prince in a fairy tale waiting to whisk you away to a better life, his cerulean eyes latched onto your own, a teasing expression.

Your face was redder than it has ever been in your life, yanking your hand away from his grasp, clutching it against your chest like he burned you. What were you thinking? Why was he getting under you skin so easily? Sure, you didn’t have a lot of experience with alphas other than the Todoroki’s, and those that visited the house, but none of them acted like this! You scooted away from the alpha, trying to block the scent of him from your brain, trying to calm down. You weren’t sure why you were so flustered but you needed to breathe to get out of this situation and fast.

“C-can I take a shower?” You weren’t sure why you even asked. Maybe you were scared he wouldn’t let you or that he would try to follow you into the bathroom. But neither fear was necessary as he nodded his head towards the bathroom door, his eyes watching your every movement like a wild cat, a deep chuckle reverberating through the air.

“Do you want me to join you?”

“No thanks!” You jumped up and threw yourself into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and leaning against it, trying to calm yourself. You turned around, locking the bathroom door, hearing the alpha shuffle on the other side of it. He didn’t try the door knob though and you relaxed slightly, turning towards the rest of the bathroom you turned on the shower faucet, hesitating only a minute before stripping out of your soot covered clothes that you are noticing were definitely ruined.

You stepped into the shower, pulling closed the curtain just enough to not get water on the floor but enough that you could see the door still just in case. The only soap in the shower was a cheap alpha brand. You didn’t care at this point though. You just needed to be clean after everything that has happened. Maybe you could pretend it was Shoto or some other alpha that you were going to smell like. Maybe.. just maybe you could pretend it was Touya’s scent.

You huffed at your own stupidity. Why do you always think of him when you’re upset? He can’t just magically save you. He isn’t coming back. You don’t come back from that. You felt yourself slip down into a seated position, pulling your knees to your chest, your eyes going fuzzy as you tried to blink through the tears that suddenly threatened to spill out.

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“Y/N! Touya! Get back here!” You giggled as you heard Fuyumi’s voice ring out behind you, Touya’s bandaged fingers wrapped around your wrist pulling you behind him as he ran, his laughter spilling out. It was a Saturday, Endevor had patrol and instead of working on his training, Touya had decided to steal you away from his younger sister’s grasp.

The two of you had ran all the way through the garden in the back of the house, and hid behind a cluster of cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom. At the time you think you must have been 11 or so, him just a little bit older. He had pulled you down beside him onto the grass and covered your mouth with his hand to hid your giggles, holding a finger up to signal you to be quiet. You could hear Fuyumi run by, calling out your names searching for you both. Grumbling how it wasn’t fair that he took you while you were both playing princesses.

He finally let go of your face, a smile crossing his own as he looked at you’re winded, excited expression. He couldn’t help himself when he leaned over and kissed your cheek, just to see you blush.

“Touya!” You covered your face with your hands, feeling your cheeks glow red.

“What? Aren’t princes supposed to kiss the princess? Isn’t that the whole point? To bond with a pretty princess?”

“You think I’m pretty?” You couldn’t help but look up into his eyes, they were the prettiest things you had ever seen. The color of turquoise, perfect gem stones.

“I think you’re the prettiest.”

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“Princess? Are you okay?” You heard a soft knock on the bathroom, barely audible over the sound of the water streaming down onto your body. You realized your scent had gone sour, the sadness creeping in without your permission. You needed to keep a lid on things. You turned off the water, and grabbed what seemed to be a clean towel, wrapping yourself in it, grabbing your dirty and tattered clothes to put them on.

“I put clean clothes outside the door if you want them.” Pausing, you frowned. Clean clothes would be nice. You hated being dirty. You took a deep breath, unlocking the door and waiting a second before opening it just enough to quickly grab the clothes before shutting it again, looking at what was offered.

A pair of grey sweats and a black hoodie, very similar to what he was wearing. Cautiously you took a whiff of the clothes, relaxing when you mostly smelled the laundry detergent over his scent. You didn’t want to be scented by him more than necessary. Just in case Shoto tracked you down. You wanted him to be able to recognize you. Not that this scent proof room would allow it.

You already smelled like the alpha’s soap though, quipped your Omega, and it smelled good.

You slipped the clothes on, ignoring your omega, all of it being way too baggy on you, especially the sweatpants, which you rolled up at the bottom so not to trip. The tie to tighten them around your waist was missing and you were pretty sure you were going to have to hold them up. Frowning at your clothes on the floor, even your bra and panties had been ruined. You didn’t know what to do with them, so you scooped them up in your arms and shuffled out of the bathroom, hugging them lightly.

You heard a low whistle and saw Dabi laying with his back on the bed, messing with a phone he held above him that you assumed was a burner, the mess from your meal was cleaned up and nowhere to be found, save for the bag of snacks that you had left. One of his legs bent and with his foot on the floor, the other up on the mattress. His eyes had abandoned the screen in front of him and were trained on your swallowed form in his clothes. He couldn’t help but think how good you looked wearing his stuff, and after taking a whiff of the air he appreciated the fact that you smelled somewhat like him now, and not like that Todoroki brat. He made a mental note that you didn’t need your own clothes. You could just wear his all the time. Other than the fact that you looked uncomfortable holding up the sweat pants with one hand.

You fumbled with the bundle of clothes in your arms looking around the room for a place to settle. You wanted to curl up in bed and sleep until this was all over. But he was in the bed..

“Just toss your clothes in with mine, I’ll take care of them later.”

“No.” You were tired, you no longer wanted to deal with this alpha. You just wanted a nap, and a nest made out of your own things.

His eye brows lifted a look of intrigue settling across his expression. He sat up, eyes watching you. “No?”

You squirmed under his gaze, considering retreating to the bathroom where you could at least lock the door and be alone, but the bathroom was so small that if you wanted to lay down you would have to be in the bathtub. Which was already wet. You stood there awkwardly trying to decide which of the two you wanted to deal with more, a flirty psychotic killer, or a wet bathtub nest.

“Come here” Apparently the flirty psychotic killer won that one as before you even noticed it you were standing in front of him, him still sitting on the bed, both his feet on the ground now, legs spread to accommodate you, surrounded in his scent. Something about him had your omega waging her tail practically begging you to do things you would never even consider.

He reached his hand up like he was going to grab your face causing you to flinch, but instead his hand gripped one side of the pull tie for the hoodie, wrapping it around his wrist before yanking it harshly, pulling you forward against him slightly and pulling the tie all the way out of the hood.

You reached up and pressed your hands onto his shoulders, dropping your bundle of clothes to the floor, to brace yourself, his eyes lighting up with amusement at your reaction. You wanted to pull away, but your omega refused. You were a deer trapped in headlights.

His lidded eyes stayed on yours as his right hand that was holding the tie, slowly drifted down your body, his left sneaking out and gripping your hip to hold you in place. His right hand finally reached your hip, curving around the front of you, removing the waistband from your grasp causing your face to turn bright red, only for him to slip the end of the tie into the hold of the waistband, slowly sneaking his fingers around your waist, feeding the tie through, until finally it poked out the other hole in the front. He returned his left hand to your hip, his right gripping both ends of the tie, pausing to smirk widely at you, flashing his tongue ring before yanking harshly, pulling the waistband tight around your waist and effectively pulling you flush against him at the hip, nose to nose, your face tilted down just slightly too match eyes with him.

His scent was intoxicating. You were completely enveloped in it, and your omega was begging for him to scent you so it never left. And he was waiting for you to ask him oh so patiently. He could smell what he was doing to you, making him laugh internally that he was going to get his way quicker than he thought. Your omega reasoned that he was a strong and capable alpha. He had been nothing but nice to you since you woke up and he wasn’t forcing himself onto you like most of the alphas you had meet previously. He was being so kind and gentle and he smelled so damn good. Why can’t you just…

Because he’s a murderer? He kidnapped you? You have an Alpha? Oh and he’s a murderer!

You pulled yourself out of his grasp, releasing a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. Taking the tie out of his hand, he let the rope slide through his fingers, not making a move to stop you from leaving his presence, knowing that you would be back. You turned away, tying it into a bow snuggly against your waist so that the sweat pants stayed up on their own now. You took several calming deep breathes, trying to get your brain back in order. Not noticing when he reached down and snatched your panties off the floor, stuffing them into his pocket for later.

“Y/N” You barely whispered out. Your omega was still reaching out to him, trying to push you back into his arms. But you wouldn’t listen. Your brain was frazzled and you felt like the world was spinning.

“Hmm?” The soft hum behind you, made you shiver, wondering if he was going to reach out and touch you again. You wanted him to. God you wanted him to. He didn’t though. Just leaned back on the bed, using his hands to prop himself up, enjoying the view of your backside as the inner turmoil raged in your head.

You snapped yourself out of it, clenching your fists as you crossed the room to the chair in the corner, curling up on it deciding it was as good a place as any to sleep. A soft mumble leaving your lips once more as you pulled the hood up and over your face, covering it completely from his sight other than the tip of your nose peaking out like a little mouse, the red of your blush noticeable from across the room. “My name… it’s Y/N.”

#bnah omegaverse #alpha dabi #omega reader #bnha #mha omegaverse #dabi is a todoroki #dabi is touya #dabi #dabi x y/n #dabi x female reader #dabi x reader #dabi x you

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galactic-magick · 4 years ago

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I Choose You: Kyoya Ootori x Reader

Summary: Your parents and the Ootoris set up an arranged marriage between you and Kyoya for business reasons.

Words: 3100+

Warnings: swearing, angst

Author’s Notes: uhhhh so my hand slipped and I wrote a whole ass Kyoya fic cuz I love that bitch I’m not sorry. (btw normal text is present and italics are flashbacks. Gender neutral pronouns and language for reader!)

Your reflection in the mirror haunts you. It hurts. You can’t pretend it’s all a nightmare anymore, this is your reality. The reality you didn’t choose.

But maybe you would if the circumstances were different.

Servants, tailors, and seamstresses are fluttering all around you, making adjustments to your wedding ensemble. It looks perfect, more than perfect. It’s everything you ever wanted, and it looks amazing on you. You continue to stare at yourself in the mirror, knowing how proud your parents would be when you walked to the front of the wedding ceremony. They would be happy, even if you weren’t.

Your parents business has been failing for months now, and they needed to fix it fast. The Ootori family agreed to help if you married their youngest son as a symbol of the partnership. Of course your parents wouldn’t threaten you if you didn’t do it, but you knew how much they needed it. You’ve always known there was a chance you’d end up in an arranged marriage anyway, even if you’ve also always dreamed of love. You were willing to give up a love marriage in order to help them, and after all, you could certainly do worse than Kyoya. You knew he’d treat you well and provide for you, and quite frankly you couldn’t imagine him caring enough to hurt you or bother you.

“Thank you so much again for making this deal with us,” your father nodded.

“Of course. Your company has quite a few valuable prospects,” Mr. Ootori smiles.

You gazed at Kyoya across the room, who’s barely made any eye contact with you the entire time. You could tell he wasn’t thrilled about this either, but there was something else, something more than disinterest. Was it anger? Determination?

“Shall we leave them alone for a bit? They should get to know each other better if they’re going through with this, don’t you think?” your mother suggested, gesturing to you.

“Certainly,” Mr. Ootori sat up and left the room, your parents following soon after and shutting the door.

“So…” you started, trailing off. What was there even to say?

Kyoya shot up from his chair and began pacing around the room, settling for a few moments by the window but soon going right back to pacing. He chewed his pen a bit, occasionally scribbling things down on his notepad.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

He continued to ignore you, deep in thought.

“Look, I get that you don’t like me, but can we at least talk? I’m going to have to live with your ass for the rest of my life you know,”

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” his eyes finally met yours, almost so much it was frightening. “You’re quite attractive actually and I don’t see any reason we wouldn’t get along. But that doesn’t negate the fact that this was forced on us. We have every right to be angry,”

You were stunned that the first thing he said to you was so direct.

“I mean, I guess so,”

“My father doesn’t know how much power I truly have over his company. We could take it from him and make our lives whatever we want. We could continue to work together or we could separate if that’s what you desire. They’ll be sorry for forcing their will on their children,”

“What about my parents?”

“What about them?”

“They’ll go bankrupt without this deal. They’ll lose everything,”

“Their deal is with the company, not my father. Once I become the head I’ll make sure they get what they need,”

Damn, he really had all this planned out.

“How long will we be married before you do all this?”

“It will take at least a year, possibly two. Too quick and we’ll raise suspicion, too slow and we’ll miss our chance,”

You nod. It made sense, but you couldn’t help but feel cheated. He didn’t care about you in the slightest, he was simply using this unfortunate marriage situation for his own gain and revenge. What were you supposed to do for the short time you were married? Sit around his mansion and wait?

You huff, “Look, I’m glad you’re getting some good out of this, but don’t you think we should at least try to be friends? I’m not just going to sit here and be a tool for your masterplan. Whether you like it or not, we’re going to be partners for a while and I’d rather not spend it being bored,”

Kyoya blinked. Clearly he didn’t calculate any sort of relationship into his plan, and the fact you weren’t blindly going along with it confused him.

You roll your eyes, “Can’t we at least go out to dinner a few times? You know, talk a little bit?”

“That sounds dangerously close to a date,”

“So what if it is? You said yourself you think I’m attractive and you think we’d get along,”

“I suppose I did,” he smiled.

You decide to turn around, hoping not seeing yourself for a few minutes will distract you.

You sincerely hope everything will work out, hope that everything will turn out fine. You trust Kyoya, he’ll do anything he can to keep his word. Your parents will be taken care of. You will be taken care of. His excuse of a father will be out of the picture.

What will you even do when it’s all said and done? Go off on your own? Get more education? Travel? Find love with someone else?

The future’s never been more terrifying.

At least you won’t be miserable. You can tell Kyoya’s made an effort to care about you throughout your engagement, he won’t be an awful husband for the year or so you’ll be married.

But does he really care about you? Or he just acting like it because you asked him to?

Kyoya picked you up in his limousine for your first “date,” taking you to a fancy restaurant downtown. Surprisingly he was the one to initiate conversations during the whole thing, asking you about your life, your hobbies, your interests. You found you actually have a lot in common, and you end up talking for hours, literally until the restaurant closes and kicks you out.

“I would take you somewhere else, but I’m afraid it’s getting too late,” he said, opening the door of the limo for you to get in.

You frowned. You were actually having a really good time.

“Tomorrow?”

“Hmm?” he raised a brow.

“We could hang out again tomorrow?”

“Sure,”

You opened your eyes, awoken from some noise outside. You looked around, assuming it was just some branches brushing against the side of the house. You rolled over, trying to get back to sleep.

The banging starts up again, and this time when you sat up you could almost swear you saw a hand through your window.

You stood up, trudging over and opening it.

“Kyoya? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“It’s tomorrow,” he smirked. You gaze at the clock. He’s right, it’s nearly 1 AM.

“I never pegged you for the sneaking out type,”

“Well, I do most of my best thinking at night, so I like to sit on the roof or go for a walk once everyone’s asleep,” he took a look at you in your pajamas. “Would you like to accompany me?”

“Give me a sec,” you shut the curtains and slipped on some clothes and freshened up a bit. You returned and started climbing out the window, Kyoya helping you get down to the ground.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked.

“This was your idea,”

“I suppose so,”

He ended up leading you to a small park his family owned, with a little pond and some benches and trees. You sat down and looked around, listening to the distant sounds of the night.

“I misjudged you, Kyoya,”

“You thought I was an asshole, didn’t you?”

You laughed, “Yeah, just a bit,”

“I certainly can be, I won’t claim otherwise,” he sat down next to you. “But I’m not opposed to expanding my horizons. You offered a valid point. A friendship and partnership may very well be in our best interests,”

“Ugh,” you groaned. “There you go again with your best interests shit,”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re telling me that you’re only trying to be friends with me because it’s in your best interest?”

“Is that…not how friendships work?” he squinted. “I am interested in being friends with you. I am interested in being your partner. Why does that upset you?”

“Because you’re talking about me like my love and respect is something for you to take or gain,”

“I apologize,” he hummed. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience in the type of relationship you want,”

“You’ve never had a real friend? You’ve never cared about anyone for who they were more than what they could give you?”

“No, I have. Just not many,”

You almost felt…bad for him. He was trying, at least.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t be so harsh,” you looked at him. “I know we can make this work. We just need to be patient with each other, that’s all,”

“Alright,” he agreed.

You continued your conversation from earlier, and things felt good again. You really do get along well, it’s a shame you weren’t actually in love.

You check your phone, seeing a text from Kyoya sent just a few minutes ago. You open it, and he’s asking where you are because he wants to talk to you. You tell him no, not today, but he insists.

You stop responding, figuring no matter what you say he’ll come anyway. You didn’t tell him where you were, but a quick questioning of a few servants and someone would tell him.

You don’t particularly want to see him right now, not like this. This is your time to feel bad about yourself and lose your mind worrying about the future, and he’s not going to help that.

You don’t hate him, quite the opposite, but he’s only a reminder of what you have but could never be.

You and Kyoya have gone on several more outings over the past few months, and it’s getting closer and closer to the wedding. He’s taken you to all his family’s properties, resorts, parks, and more. You’ve gone to almost every restaurant in town (yes, even commoner ones, you both found it entertaining), and you’ve spent many nights walking around the city. You’ve spent days indoors playing board and card games and watching movies. You genuinely enjoyed spending most of your free time with him.

But tonight’s a bit different.

Tonight you won’t be alone, on your own terms. Tonight was the rehearsal dinner, and of course both your families were going overboard. Barely any of it was going to be spent actually rehearsing for the wedding. There’s going to be dancing, food and drinks, and basically a party all night long.

Everyone’s going to be watching you, everyone’s eyes are going to be on you.

You met up with Kyoya after getting ready so you could walk in together. You put on your most formal outfits, besides the ones for the wedding a few days from now.

When he saw you, he averted his gaze immediately as if he’d just caught you naked.

“You look good,” he coughed.

“So do you,” you laughed.

He offered you his arm and you took it, walking down the hallway into the ballroom.

You had to do an awful lot of greeting before doing anything else. Everyone wants to talk to you and congratulate you, even people you swear you’ve never met in your life. There’s a mix of family, friends, and other business partners. Some people were probably there simply because they could be due to their status, and had no interest in the celebration whatsoever.

When you’re finally free of conversation, you raced to the table to grab some refreshments. They prepared the best food possible, including some of your favorites.

Kyoya found you again just as you were finishing, offering his arm to you once again.

“May I have this dance?”

You almost choked, “You dance?”

“Of course I do. So is my fiancé going to refuse me or not?”

You smiled and shook your head, giggling a bit as he drags you to the floor.

No one was doing anything particularly complicated, just waltzes, and thank goodness that was the case. You could barely think straight from everything going on.

Surprisingly Kyoya wasn’t a stiff dancer, his movements were consistent but flowed perfectly with the music. He held you closer than you thought he would, but gently.

You felt your body heat up and chills in your stomach and down your spine. How are those two things even possible to happen at the same time?

Well, shit. You weren’t actually falling for him were you?

You thought these past few months would be tedious, but they’ve actually been some of the best of your life. Kyoya’s become your best friend, and gosh you want to spend the rest of your life with him. You understand each other. You both want to break away from your controlling families and finally find your own happiness. You can spend hours talking about everything and nothing. You can make each other laugh like no one else ever has.

Maybe this arranged marriage could become a love marriage. Just maybe.

But no. Kyoya made his intentions very clear. You doubt he’s developed the same feelings for you. He may see you as a valued friend, but he’ll fell nothing when you inevitably break off your relationship in a couple years.

Kyoya must’ve noticed you zoning out in thought, because he stops dancing and brings his hands to your shoulders.

“Are you alright? Do you need some air?”

You nodded, and he leads you out onto the balcony outside the ballroom, keeping a hand on your back.

You take a deep breath, desperately trying to compose yourself after your realization. Should you tell him? No, absolutely not. Bad idea.

Why did this have to happen? Now you were even more miserable. Were you really so weak that you had to catch feelings?

“It’s going to be fine, you know,” he assured you. “I know it seems overwhelming, but by the end of the week we’ll be on our own and they can’t constantly be on our backs anymore,”

“Yeah,” you sighed, your breath stopping in your throat. “Do you think anyone will notice if I leave? I’m exhausted,”

“They probably will, unfortunately,” he looked out at the view. “But we can stay out here until they notice,”

“Thanks,” you grumbled. Your head was throbbing.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You managed to survive the rest of the night, barely.

You tried to get some rest, you have a fitting tomorrow, and then all you have to do is wait for the big day.

You’ve been standing here for at least an hour, and you’re starting to get irritated. How long does it take to fit something? It looks fine.

You turn around again and stop breathing for a moment when you see Kyoya in the doorway. His hair is ruffled and he looks like he didn’t sleep at all, but there’s a smile on his face.

“I’d like to speak to my fiancé please,” he says.

You look away.

“Absolutely not! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to see each other’s outfits before the big day?” one of the tailors pipes up.

“Well, seeing as I already saw it, I don’t think it matters,” he motions for them to leave. “You’re dismissed,”

He waits until they’re gone before he approaches you, but by that time you’ve fallen down and started crying. You’re shaking on the edge of the platform you were standing on, your hands covering your face.

“You’ve been avoiding me all morning. What’s wrong?” he asks.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” you sniffle. “For everyone else this is the best time of their life. But it’s not for me,”

Kyoya crouches down in front of you.

He doesn’t cut in, so you keep going, “Look at me. I look great, I look just like how I wanted to as a kid, but it’s all wrong. Everything’s wrong. I thought I was okay with this, but I’m not. I hate this. I don’t hate you, but I hate this,”

You keep sobbing, trying to pretend he’s not there watching you. It’s not too hard actually, since you can barely see through the tears.

“Well, I suppose this might be the worst time to tell you what I was planning to tell you,” he tries not to laugh as not to be insensitive, but it comes out anyway.

“W-What?” you rub your eyes, seeing him a little clearer.

“I know this won’t fix anything, but I want you to know I do genuinely care about you. It was never part of the original agreement or plan, but I’ve come to feel more for you than I’ve felt for anyone. I just…I want you to know that. You’re not a tool to me anymore,” he takes a deep breath, “I love you,”

You stop crying for a moment, too shocked for the tears to keep flowing. Did he really just say that?

“I understand that you probably don’t feel the same, which is alright. I will still honor our original plan, get you everything you wanted, and allow you to leave whenever you please. But if you’ll have me as your husband, a real husband, you’re welcome to stay,”

The sobs break out again, barely able to get out the words, “I love you too,”

“You do? Really?” his eyes light up.

You nod vigorously, beaming through the tears, “Yes,”

“But you just said you hated this? That you were miserable?”

“Only because I thought you didn’t feel the same,”

“Oh,” he chuckles. “Well then,” he takes your hand and places his other on your cheek, looking into your eyes. “Will you marry me? Please?”

You laugh, “I guess,”

He smiles and pulls your face to his, kissing you softly. You take the initiative to deepen it, slithering your fingers into his tousled hair. He’s the last to pull away, and immediately pulls you back for more, even when you can barely breathe.

You can feel him smiling against your lips, his thumbs wiping all your tears away.

You thought you’d never know what it was like to be truly loved.

But now you do.

More Author’s Notes: This is my first time writing for OHSHC lol. Might dabble in it more in the future cuz I had a blast writing this XD Hope you enjoyed and feel free to tell me what you think!

#kyoya ootori x reader #kyoya x reader #ohshc #kyoya ootori #ouran x reader #ouran high school host club

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jackrrabbit · 5 years ago

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it will come back [pt. 1] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 2] [Part 3]

A/N: Low budget yandere for my greasy king. This concept has definitely been done before, but I couldn’t resist. This is my first non-smut on this acct and I’ll be so sad if it bombs 😭

Title from the Hozier song: “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: light yandere, minor injury, angst, Shiggy likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep. [In later parts but not in this one: violence, sex, more yandere, 18+]

You’ve always had a soft spot for strays. Maybe that’s why you became an ER nurse—from the first abandoned puppy you brought home as a kid to the patients you refuse to give up on even when it looks hopeless, you’ve never been able to turn a blind eye when something needs your help. Sometimes (times like this) you wish you knew better. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself these days.

Today’s shift was…what, 16 hours? 17? The 20-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment building feels like it takes twice that long in the rain. God, you need a shower. And a decent night’s sleep, preferably for at least 12 hours. Tomorrow’s your day off, and you’re ready to take advantage of it the best way you know how: Netflix, soju, and your favorite vibrator. But tonight? As soon as you’re clean, you’re going to pig out on leftovers and collapse into the bed that’s the only halfway nice piece of furniture in your shithole apartment. You really do deserve a break; you’ve earned it.

Unfortunately, as usual, the universe has other plans.

You hear him before you see him: wheezing, choked breaths, like someone’s trying to breathe with an anvil on their chest. You’re not quite out of nurse mode so your mind starts trying to diagnose the issue before you even register what you’re hearing. Fluid in the lungs, possibly blood. That hacking isn’t good. Broken ribs? Definitely bruised. But probably not a puncture…

The breathing is coming from down an alley next to your building. It’s dark enough that you can’t see from the street what’s making the noise. And you’re not a fool, you know it’s a bad idea to walk down pitch-black alleys late at night, especially in this area—a neighborhood you’re living in by necessity, because it’s the only place cheap enough for you to get by. But the coughing…it just sounds so awful. It sounds like it hurts.

Your phone’s already in your hand with 119 dialed and ready to call (standard practice when you’re walking home by yourself), but you turn the flashlight on and shine it down the alleyway. “Hello? Anyone there?”

Nothing responds, but you can still hear the breathing. You step in a little deeper, swinging your light from side to side and looking over the heaps of trash bags overflowing from the dumpster. The raindrops make clicking sounds as they hit the plastic, and you can hear gurgling from a rain spout down the side of the building, but the wheezing doesn’t stop.

One more step. And then one more. You wish there was something you could do to make the splash of your rain boots in the puddles a little less loud. Something about this situation—the rain, the dark, the flat grey light from your cellphone, and that horrible hacking breath—it makes you feel like you’re walking into a horror movie. But you don’t stop walking.

The hacking is coming from a man propped up on the wall between a few XL bags of trash. The black outfit he’s wearing almost blends into the bags, but a mop of grey-blue hair gives him away. His head is slumped onto his chest, and if he’s conscious he doesn’t show it. “Hello?” you ask again, even less confident that you’re going to get a response.

No answer.

The smell of garbage is…ugh…hard to ignore, but on top of it is an oppressive stench of copper coming from the man passed out in the trash. You kneel down to get a better look and yep, he’s covered in blood. It’s hard to make out in the low light, but there’s a trio of long gashes in the man’s abdomen, cutting apart the skin and flesh so deep you can see traces of a slim layer of yellow fat between all the inky clotted blood. It looks like he was attacked by an animal. Or someone with an animal quirk. There are a lot of villains in this neighborhood.

And the coughing...definitely internal injuries. Whoever this guy is, he needs treatment. You hold up your phone to hit the call button on your pre-dialed 119—

“Don’t.” The voice is a growl, low and surprisingly firm despite the scratchiness. You jerk back and clutch your phone to your chest, caught off guard not just by the interruption but by the intensity of the face glaring up at yours.

His eyes are red. “You need an ambulance,” you tell him in your calmest nurse voice.

“If you try to call the police, I’ll—kill you,” the man says, but the threat is a little less threatening when he has to stop in the middle to retch blood onto his own chin.

You glare back at him but don’t call the emergency number. There are a lot of of reasons why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, but the most obvious one is probably true. “You’re a criminal. A villain?”

He doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep glaring at you like you’ve committed some mortal sin against his ancestors by having the nerve to check on him and try to help him. Somehow it pisses you off. When you were getting your ADN, you once took a temp job doing health screenings at a local middle school and you would always get so annoyed at the kids. Didn’t they see you were just doing your job? Why is it so hard to understand that what you’re doing is for their own good?

Stupid kids. Stupid villain. “You’d rather bleed out and die?”

The man bares his teeth at you, and it’s a pretty disturbing scene considering how they’re covered in scarlet. “You think they’re going to save me? Think I’ll go to the hospital and get all my HP restored?”

He’s mocking you now. You only have a second to move out of the way before he spits off to the side. “I mean…that’s how a hospital works.”

“If you think I would—make it out of that ambulance alive, you’re—dumber than you look.” His voice is interspersed with coughs.

“Well, you’re not going to live if I leave you here.” You hold up your phone, ready to call the ambulance, but in a shocking display of agility the man lunges forward and grabs it out of your hand. “Hey, wait! Give that…back…”

Your voice trails off as your phone crumbles—literally crumbles to dust in the man’s fingers. Once he’s satisfied that there’s no way for you to call the cops, he slumps back onto the trash bags and closes his eyes, apparently exhausted from the effort.

Goddamnit…! For a second, you can only stare blankly at the pile of dust that used to be your $300 smartphone. And then you’re seized by something, maybe not hatred but an annoyance so strong you can feel it in your throat, and you decide right then and there that this villain is not going to die. You’re going to save him. Out of spite.

You’re not sure how you manage to half-carry him from the alley to your apartment, but you do. You’re lucky it’s ass-o-clock at night and no one’s in the lobby or the elevator, or you’d definitely be getting some looks trying to lug a maimed body around. What would you say if someone did call the cops? Don’t worry, don’t worry about it officer, it’s just my friend drank a little too much, oh those wounds? We were at a costume party, haha…

But no one sees you, and no one calls the cops. The man is unconscious the whole time you’re carrying him, and by the time you have him laid out on a shower curtain on your living room floor his breathing is a little bit shallower than it was before. You’ve got your tools—nothing fancy, just some gauze and closures and antiseptic from your personal first aid kit. It’s not much, but it’ll have to be enough.

“Let’s get to work, asshole,” you tell the unconscious body in front of you, and you crack your knuckles.

///

The day after you pick the villain out of the garbage, your body decides that it’s not going to let you sleep in no matter how much you need it. You can tell because the huge windows in your bedroom—the only saving grace of this apartment, honestly—are depositing golden-pink sunrise light over everything you see when you open your eyes, including the villain’s face. Which is about six inches away from yours.

“You smell like death,” you tell him sleepily. He doesn’t move.

He’s…probably in his early twenties, you think, but it’s hard to tell because of all the wrinkles. His hair is on the longer side, and it’s striped with rusty brown smears from his blood. Again, you notice how red his irises are. Have you ever seen someone with eyes that color before? You’re pretty sure you haven’t.

“You slept for a long time,” the villain says, finally moving back so he’s not breathing into your mouth.

“Yeah, I was tired. From saving your life.” You sit up and rub your temples. “I’m thirsty…”

Before you can finish your complaint, the villain is holding a glass of water out to you in an awkward 4-fingered grip.

“Um, thanks, I guess.” You suck down the water and immediately feel better, enough that you realize how wrong it is that he’s up and moving around and probably undoing all your hard work. “You should be lying down.”

“The floor hurt, and I was bored.”

“Lie on the couch then. You can watch TV. But first—“ He’s sitting on the edge of your bed next to you, and you make him lie down flat so you can look at the injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as they looked last night—no walk in the park, but at least you won’t have a corpse in your apartment in a few hours.

When you’re done inspecting him, he sits up and asks you for a shirt. You had to cut his off, not that it was any great loss. The thing was shredded. Him pointing it out is the only thing that makes you really realize he’s shirtless, so you give him an oversized pajama shirt of yours. It has the name and motto of your old high school on it, and the villain reads it out in a half-mocking tone when you hand it to him.

“Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” you snap. “You should be grateful.”

“I am grateful,” he says, putting the shirt on. “But I don’t understand.”

“I mean, you need a shirt, right? It’s cold—“

“No. Not that.” He’s staring at you again, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why you didn’t leave me where you found me last night.”

There’s a lot you could tell him, all of it a little bit true. You were curious. You believed him when he said he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive. You couldn’t leave him alone the same way you can’t leave abandoned puppies alone. You wanted to prove to him that you were right, and that being stubborn wouldn’t get him what he wanted. But you don’t say that. “You killed my phone, so you owe me a new one. And I can’t get that back if you bleed out.”

He’s looking at you like he doesn’t believe you, and you fidget under his gaze until he sighs and says, “Whatever.”

You have to let him lean on your shoulder when he walks back to the living room to lie down on your couch. How the hell did he even get to your bedroom by himself? You really didn’t think this through—what are you supposed to do with an infirm possible villain who can barely walk unsupported without opening his injuries back up?

But that’s a problem for tomorrow you to deal with. Today, you’re content to set your laptop up on the coffee table so the two of you can watch TV in…oddly companionable (if you’re not imagining it) silence. It’s almost the lazy day off you were daydreaming about before you got yourself into this mess, and the atmosphere is so relaxed that before you can really decide whether to force the man to go to the hospital or turn him out on the street (or…?) you’re dozing off on your couch like there isn’t a potentially dangerous stranger lying beside you with his head just a few inches from your lap.

When you wake up, your problem is solved for you. He’s gone, and it’s like he was never there—except you’re down a cellphone and a pajama shirt, and your shower curtain is drenched with blood. You wrap it up with the rest of the soiled medical supplies and toss all of it in a dumpster a mile away from your building without knowing exactly why.

///

It’s not the last you see of him, but somehow you had a feeling that was going to be the case.

He scares the shit out of you the first time he visits (over time, that’s how you’ll start to think of his little unannounced drop-ins: visits. Like you’re being visited by a ghost or something). You’re coming back from another grueling shift in the ER, so tired you think you might be sleepwalking, and what do you find when you come in your apartment but a strange white-haired man sitting on your couch eating dry cereal out of the box and flipping through one of your books?

You nearly piss yourself.

He doesn’t seem surprised, which makes sense, considering he’s a villain and he’s probably used to pulling this dramatic entrance thing on people. He certainly doesn’t seem the least bit threatened when you brandish the mini canister of pepper spray on your keychain and demand that he tell you how he got in if he wants to retain the power of eyesight.

“It was unlocked,” he says.

“It was not unlocked,” you reply, rolling your eyes. You may be sleep deprived, but you’re not careless. Never careless.

“Whatever. Calm down. You’re not going to use that on me.”

He’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. If he wanted to do something to hurt you, he could’ve done it that first night. And you’re too tired to really put up a fight, so you just put the cap back on the pepper spray and flop down next to him on the couch. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He looks at you curiously from between his shaggy bangs, like you’re the one intruding in his home and not the other way around, then reaches out to hand something to you. “Here, payback.”

It’s a cell phone—not a smartphone like the one he destroyed, but a flip phone circa the 2000s, the kind that forces you to press “9” four times to get the letter “F”. You stare at it for a second, then look back at the villain. “Are you kidding? Did you get this from a museum?”

“Take it or leave it.” His feet are propped up on your coffee table, but you can’t make yourself care. Actually, it looks nice…him stretched out with an odd look of comfort on his lanky form.

You lean back on the couch and kick up your feet next to his. “Fine. Thanks, I guess.”

He shrugs.

“How are your wounds healing?” Why are you trying to make conversation with this guy? He’s…a villain, right? Not that you’ve ever received affirmative confirmation of that fact, but the hesitance to call the police and the breaking and entering are pretty good tells. But…it might be weird, but since you picked him up that day, you’ve felt a kind of kinship with him.

Alone. Abandoned. No place to go. No one to save him. It’s not a pretty comparison, but you can’t deny it rings true.

Maybe that’s why you pick up strays.

“They’re fine,” he tells you after so long a pause that you’ve almost forgotten your question. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

You take a long look at him, at his posture—he’s relaxed, but his abdomen is crunched a little bit, curled in on himself so subtly that even you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t looking. It’s not your problem. He’s an adult, and you’re sure he could be seeking real medical attention if he really needed it. You’re in no way obligated to perform some kind of checkup on this arrogant dick who literally broke into your apartment to give you a shitty phone and eat your cereal. The sensible thing to do is to tell him to forget that you live here and hopefully never see him again.

His head tips back to rest on the top of the couch, and he holds your book up to read. At this angle his long hair is out of the way of his face, and you notice among the deep-set creases in his skin a pair of wide scars across his right eye and on the corner of his lips. They’re pale and faded—old, then—but they look off to you, and after a while of snatching glances at his face you realize it’s because they’re healed badly, extraordinarily badly, the kind of healing that you don’t see very often because it only occurs when a stubborn patient tries to let a particularly nasty injury heal on its own. The part of you that isn’t sensible wonders how old he was when he got those scars.

Has he learned his lesson?

You doubt it.

“Lie down,” you sigh. “Let me see the cuts.”

Which is how you find yourself examining this annoying villain again, checking on his injuries and giving him recommendations for care like you’re his personal nurse or something. It’s not a role you enjoy playing, but at least he takes it without complaint, and you start to wonder if maybe this is why he broke into your apartment in the first place. If anything, he looks calmer when you’ve flipped up his shirt and prodded at his wounds, his eyes closing slowly and freeing you of that scarlet-red gaze.

He’s like a cat, you think, and then you shake your head and remind yourself that it’s a terrible idea to think of this man—this grown man who is probably a great danger to you and others—as a wild animal you’re trying to domesticate.

When he finally leaves (only after you drop a couple dozen unsubtle hints about how long you’ve been at work and how exhausted you are), you take a moment before you sink into bed to look at the flip phone. It’s no nicer than your original impression, but as you scroll through the screens you notice that it’s factory-new, except for one thing: there’s a contact programmed in, a phone number with an area code you don’t recognize listed under “T”. And you don’t want to be curious…

…but you are. Shocking.

Down the rabbit hole it is, you decide. So you text him.

///

[You: 12:03 AM] > Hey it’s (Y/N) > (the girl whose apartment you broke into) > What does T stand for? [T: 12:07 AM] > What do u think [You: 12:09 AM] > ?? [T: 12:09 AM] > My name > Dont you know who i am [You: 12:10 AM] > Are you famous? [T: 12:10 AM] > You dont watch the news do u [You: 12:11 AM] > Not really > What’s your name then [T: 12:12 AM] > … > Didnt u say u had to sleep [You: 12:15 AM] > Oh yeah > Whatever I guess > Good night

[T: 2:34 AM] > Its Tomura > Dont look it up

[You: 8:02 AM] > Ok > I won’t > Tomura

➠ [Part 2]

#Shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #yandere bnha #yandere shigaraki tomura x reader #bnha imagines #feeling real shy posting this 👉👈#bnha #yandere shigaraki tomura #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #mha #my hero academia #mha imagines #my hero academia imagines #shigaraki tomura/reader #yandere shigaraki tomura/reader #yandere

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junicai · 4 years ago

Text

lights out.

| summary | In New York, the City that Never Sleeps, Aria can’t sleep. So, her roommate comes up with a skeptical idea, and ropes Mark into it as well.

| word count | 3.7k

| warnings | one (1) curse word

| era | circa. April 2019

92. "Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

New York City.

Forever illuminated in light, forever alive and bustling down below the skyrises that towered above the people that wandered through the streets no matter what time was displayed on the clocks. The city was teeming with energy, bubbling beneath the surface as it waited for a chance to explode.

Traffic backlogged street to street, wandering souls pattering around the block in search of nothing, aimlessly strolling past the busy business-goers, those that carried briefcases with carefully filed notes and papers, and those that had dragged themselves out of their beds for the graveyard shift in the neon-lighted coffeehouse.

24-hour Coffee! The best coffee you’ll find in the Big Apple!

The noise outside the window was muffled through the thick glass but the busy sounds of the city still filtered through, gently falling in to the otherwise silent hotel room.

Aria rolled over onto her side, pressing her head into the soft pillow. The red LED lights of the alarm clock sitting on the locker beside her bed was boring the colour into her retinas, and no good could come from simply watching the minutes tick by.

The blankets were soft, if not a little cold on her skin, and she pulled her legs into her chest to rub at the exposed skin lightly. Donghyuck had insisted on leaving the air conditioning on as they slept, the boy living up to his name Fullsun as he ran hot near-constantly, but that left Aria to shiver slightly despite the mountain of blankets she had buried herself beneath.

Rolling back over to the cool side of the pillowcase, Aria let her eyes fall on Donghyuck’s back.

The boy wasn’t asleep - she could hear the low sounds coming from the airpods in his ears as he watched something on his phone - but he looked comfortable enough that she was reluctant to disturb him.

It had been a long day, and tomorrow was their only real designated day in this area before they were scheduled to be flown out to their next concert.

Aria loved touring, but it was hard to keep going sometimes. She assumed that Donghyuck thought the same, and that’s why instead of insisting that the pair of them watched something on his laptop, or played a game, he was letting her sleep in peace.

He had watched Aria push herself past what they both had thought her limits had been that day - watched as she stumbled through the final songs of their set with blurry eyes and a shaking frame. He’d moved to wrap an arm around her waist as soon as they had broken formation, and she’d given him a shaky smile for his efforts.

Donghyuck had guided a rapidly blinking Aria through their ending ments and off the stage, catching her as she slipped down the last two steps. He’d practically carried her into the car, waving off an insisting Yuta, who was adamant that he could help despite still favoring the ankle he had rolled two nights ago.

They were all running a little worse-for-wear, but, by god the crowds made up for it.

He had known that NCT 127 had an international fanbase, had known that they were popular overseas for years. But there was nothing like seeing a crowd of five thousand, even eight thousand people from a country that didn’t speak their language, singing their songs and screaming their fanchants at the top of their lungs.

It settled into his bones, pushed him past his old boundaries to create new ones, made him want to keep going and keep singing, keep dancing, keep performing until his knees went from beneath him and he fell to the ground with a thud.

Donghyuck knew Aria felt the same, and that’s why he took it upon himself to pull her away when she needed him to.

Despite their broadly opposite personalities - truly the sun and the moon when it came down to it - they were similar in so many ways. Scarily so.

Scary, in so far as the fact that Donghyuck knew when Aria couldn’t take it anymore, knew when she was stumbling and falling not because she was tired but because she’d hurt her back again and was unwilling to talk about it. Scary, in the fact that he knew when she wasn’t telling them something, choosing to bite her lip instead of letting whatever worry that was bouncing around in her head fall onto their shoulders to help carry the weight.

Donghyuck wanted to help her carry those things. Even if that meant carrying her as well.

The two of them had slipped into the hotel room at nine minutes past ten, showering briefly in the small bathroom they had adjoined to the left wall and slid into the two beds with a quiet goodnight. It had been silent since Aria had leant down to turn off the centre light, only the light peeking through the curtains from the street and the light of Donghyuck’s phone screen to illuminate the dark room left.

He had thought she had fallen asleep soon after - given the bleary squinted look she had given him in the van home as she told her to not fall asleep just yet, that they’d be home soon and then she could sleep - so you could imagine his surprise as he flipped over in the bed, letting the phone fall face down and was met with the image of Aria starfished over her single bed, staring open-eyed at the ceiling.

“Ari?” Donghyuck cleared his throat. “Ari? Why’re you awake still?”

Aria’s head flopped to the side to look at Donghyuck in the opposite bed, blinking once at him before closing her eyes and groaning. “Can’t sleep.”

He hummed, lifting up the corner of his blanket with a hand as the other pushed his phone onto the bedside locker to make sure it didn’t fall off the bed.

Without a word, Aria slid out from underneath her own blankets - pulling one from the top layer - and padded across the room to slide into Donghyuck’s embrace, fluffing the extra blanket on top of them both.

Donghyuck sniffed a laugh at her, but said nothing as he dropped his arm around her waist to pull her closer to him and snuggled his head into where her shoulder meets her neck.

Aria giggled lightly at his hair tickling her skin, moving her head away from the strands until the hand around her waist squeezed once.

“It tickles,” She whispered.

“But m’comfy like this,” He responded, shoving his head further in if possible and throwing a leg over hers.

“Just-” Aria moved some of his hair away from her face. “Better.”

“Better?”

“Its not in my face anymore.”

Donghyuck lifted his head from her shoulder to peer up at her face. “Why couldn’t you sleep? You were sleepy in the van.”

Aria huffed. “No I wasn’t.”

“You hit your head against the window when you dozed off.”

“I-”

“Twice.”

She sighed through her nose. “If it bruises I’m going to be upset. My face is my only selling point right now.”

A silence permeated the room, and Donghyuck sat up.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” He asked again.

Aria flipped to lay on her stomach, shoving her head into the pillow. “I dunno. Think I have some excess energy to burn off or something.”

“You were literally dead on your feet three hours ago,” Donghyuck said.

“I know that. I just, feel like I need to go on a walk or something. Just to move or do something that isn’t lying in a bed in the middle of New York.” Aria muffled out into the fabric, kicking her legs slightly.

Donghyuck caught a wayward ankle before it could hit him in the face. “Hey, kicking your best friend was not on that list!”

“It could be.”

Scowling, he fell back beside her, scooching closer. The pair laid together for a moment, listening to the sound of traffic from outside.

“You want to go for a walk?” Donghyuck was the one to break the silence, looking down at Aria.

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go.”

Aria lifted her head to blink up at him. “It’s like,” she broke off to turn her head towards the clock, blinking rapidly to bring the LED numbers into view, “Half one in the morning, I don’t think the hotel gym is open.”

“I don’t mean the gym. I mean out there.” Donghyuck pointed to the window.

This time it was Aria who sat up, rubbing at her eyes. “Hyuck, what?”

“You want to go for a walk? Let’s go for a walk. Who’s gonna stop us?”

“Our managers? The fact that its nearly two in the morning? The fact that Taeyong will kill us?” She said, bewildered.

Donghyuck sat up to face her properly. “They won’t know! We could be quick - promise. You can’t tell me you don’t want to see the city properly.”

Aria spluttered. “We have seen the city! We took that bus tour around when we first arrived!”

He scoffed. “I meant properly, Ari. Like a local. How the city is meant to be.”

“We could get murdered.”

“Bold of you to assume I’d let that happen.”

Aria swallowed. “What happens if we get caught on the way out?”

“Simple: Lie.” Donghyuck leant back on his hands like this wasn’t the worst plan he had ever come up with in his nineteen years of life.

It wasn’t often that Aria went along with his ideas - nine times out of ten, she was usually the one talking him out of them. It was only when she’d run out of patience, or the will to give the effort to barter logic out with him that she’d give in. Or in cases like this.

“Fine.”

Donghyuck let out a whoop, reaching over to the locker to snag his phone off the top of it and flicking the screen unlocked. Aria in turn proceeded to roll off the bed and onto the carpet, looking for the pair of leggings she had worn through the airport to cover her legs so she didn’t go wandering around the city in a pair of sleep shorts.

Finding the black coloured material hanging on the back of the chair, she could hear Donghyuck texting someone behind her.

“Who’s that?” She asked, not bothering to turn around as she moved into the bathroom and partially shut the door to allow her both privacy and the ability to continue her conversation with him.

“Mark - Thought we should tell someone where we’re gone, right?”

Aria stopped. “Does he want to come?”

“Given the angry texts I’ve just received about quote, missing out on stuff like this now that he’s not in Dream: I’d say a solid yes.”

Aria nodded, before realizing that he couldn’t see her. “Is Jungwoo coming as well then?”

Mark was rooming with Jungwoo this time around, the members alternating on a rotational basis.

Donghyuck shook his head. “No, he says that Jungwoo is too tired. He’ll keep a lookout for Taeyong for us though, which is good.”

“Huh, that’s nice of him.” Aria re-emerged from the bathroom, leggings pulled up over her hips and a large hoodie swamping her frame. With her thin wire glasses, she looked cosy and extremely comfortable.

Donghyuck himself was still wearing a pair of sweatpants, and pulled one of his hoodies on over his t-shirt before rummaging in the pile of shoes to find something comfortable.

Without looking back, he tossed out Aria’s runners, who caught them with a thanks before sitting down on the ground to do up the laces.

He succeeded in finding his own pair of shoes, pulling them in just before two light knocks sounded against their door. Aria pulled it open to reveal a bleary-eyed but excited Mark, a padded jacket pulled over his jumper.

"You are insane." Was the first thing out of his mouth.

"You're welcome to leave?" Sniffed Aria.

Mark frowned. "I never said I wasn't."

Opening the door wider, she revealed Donghyuck who had just stood up from the edge of the bed, brushing down his pants. He looked up to meet Mark's eyes and grinned.

"Let's go!" He cheered, moving to walk out into the hallway but being stopped by Aria catching the neck of his jumper and tugging him back.

Looking at her quizzically, he raised an eyebrow.

"You need a coat? It's nearly two in the morning it's going to be cold outside."

Aria herself had pulled on a jacket once Mark had arrived, but Donghyuck was still only clad in a threadbare hoodie that wouldn't protect him from the cold outside.

Reaching back over the bed, he pulled out his cost from beneath a chair and slid his arms into it wordlessly. He turned to Aria and spread his arms out into a display. "Happy?"

"It's better."

"Guys do you think we could not do this in the hallway? I really don't want to get caught by someone right now." Mark's voice came from just inside the doorway.

"Right, right," Aria agreed, shoving Donghyuck out the door and snatching the keycard off the table just before they left.

She slipped the keycard into her inside pocket of her jacket, zipping it closed before patting the padded material lightly. “Safe and sound.”

Mark, closed the door behind them. The beep sounded as the mechanism locked itself, and the trio were left standing alone in the empty hallway.

Donghyuck stretched his arms above his head, wincing slightly as his shoulder clicked. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

Aria paused. “Hyuck, you don’t speak English.”

“I’m deaf and you don’t speak English.”

“And what do I do? You planning on leaving me for dead?” Mark asked, arms crossed.

Donghyuck only pat him on the shoulder, moving to rest his weight onto his elbow. “You, are fast. You’ll be fine.”

“You, are a terrible influence.”

“A proud one.”

Aria put a hand on one of their shoulders each, pushing the two boys forward down the hallway insistently. “Let’s not have this argument where we can be found in incriminating circumstances, okay boys?”

Donghyuck snorted. “Aria we’re not going to go to jail for sneaking out.”

“Doyoung might put Aria on house arrest,” Mark countered.

“Then let’s not wait around for him to find her!”

With that, the trio made their way down the hallway, choosing to take the stairs down to the ground floor instead of the elevator - hoping to avoid as many people as possible. Aria had slipped three black facemasks into her pocket before they had left the room, knowing that if they were to be spotted they’d need something to help them blend in.

The front doors of the hotel slid open with a quiet beep, and she was blasted with a cold front of air. She could feel her nose twitch slightly at the breeze, and knew that she’d be returning with a rosy tinge to her skin if they stayed out longer than a few minutes.

But instead of letting that bother her, Aria chose to focus on the identical wide grins Donghyuck and Mark sported, both boys looking around in wonder at the lights that surrounded them on the pavement.

“Shall we?” Aria extended her arms playfully, giggling lightly as they both linked their arms into hers.

Beginning their walk down the pavement, she could only look around in wonder. New York truly lived up to it’s name - dozens of people were milling about even at this time, all clad in various thicknesses of coats, and Aria felt herself relax minutely at the knowledge that the trio didn’t stick out against the colorful lights like a sore thumb.

Each street had something new, and her eyes grew wider with every sign they passed as they walked.

“Mark look!” Aria pointed towards a small bookstore on the corner of the block, dropping his arm to run towards the window. “Doesn’t that look like the notebook you wanted to get in Atlanta?”

A small, green leather-bound notebook had piqued Mark’s interest in the city earlier that month, but by the time he had had the time to get to the bookstore, the notebook had been sold.

The notebook that Aria pointed out was near identical - perhaps a little bit thicker, but close enough to the original that Mark was already planning on how he was going to get back to this street tomorrow when all the shops were opened back up.

“Do you think we could come back here tomorrow to get it for you?” Aria looked away from the window, eyes shining hopefully.

Mark reached out to tug Aria underneath his arm, pulling her into his side. “I’m sure we can figure something out, Ari.”

She clapped her hands lightly to celebrate, before Donghyuck was taking them both by the hand and dragging them both back down the street which they had walked up.

“Now, while you’ve both been looking for fancy notebooks, I’ve been doing some important area recon, and have discovered that,” He trailed off, continuing walking with a firm grip on their wrists.

“Ta-da!” Donghyuck came to a stop, releasing their wrists before making jazz hands beside his face.

Behind him, was a small food cart with an attendee that looked like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world.

“Pretzels?” Mark asked with a tilted head.

“Pretzels.” Donghyuck nodded emphatically.

Aria tugged lightly on the younger boy’s sleeve. “Hyuck, I don’t think any of us brought money with us-”

Donghyuck hummed, cutting her off. “Got you covered, angel.” pulling out his phone and taking several small bills from behind his opaque phone case.

Turning to the attendee with a blinding smile he strolled forward to the cart, opening his mouth to begin speaking.

“Can I.. we..”

Mark stepped up behind him. “Order,” he whispered, facing the pavement so his lips weren’t visible to the man.

“Order.. three.. three,”

“Pretzels,”

“Pretzels please?” Donghyuck finished, looking up at the man curiously.

“Yeah,” Came the deadened response. “That’ll be $9.87.”

Donghyuck fumbled with his hands momentarily, before placing three bills into the awaiting hand and stepping back from the cart, shoving his hands into his pocket.

Aria came up beside him as Mark waited at the front of the cart. “Hyuck, I don’t think I should..”

He turned his head to look at her. “Hm?”

“I don’t think I should, eat that. You know?” She looked down knawing at her lip slightly.

“I think you should.” He said.

“No I really shouldn’t-”

Aria was cut off by Mark approaching them, three warm pretzels in his hand. He handed one to Donghyuck who took it with an affirming hum before ripping into the bread with his teeth, and handed the other to a cautious Aria.

After Mark had taken his first bite, he looked quizzically at Aria who was staring traitorously at the bread in her hand. “Ari?”

She sighed, dropping her shoulders a little. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if I should-”

Aria squeaked when both Donghyuck’s and Mark’s glare was turned on her. “Guys I-”

“Pretzel.”

A protest formed on the top of her tongue, but fell flat when Mark raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, ok sorry.” Aria took a bite from the now-cooling snack.

Satisfied, both boys went back to their own snacks, sighing lightly as the trio continued their walk back down the streets they had come. From a different angle, they noticed new things each time, and it was so easy to lose track of the time when they were staring up in wonder at the neon lights.

The atmosphere was broken by a ping from Mark’s phone.

Jungwoo [2:08] uh

Jungwoo [2:08] taeyong hyung started his rounds

Jungwoo [2:08] id recommend getting ur asses back

Jungwoo [2:09] ill stall him

Mark [2:09] how long do we have

Jungwoo [2:09] seven minutes. tops

Mark [2:09] fuck

The trio turned on their heels, pelting down the pavement.

The people they passed looked oddly at them - they must have made a comical sight. Three twenty-year-olds, dressed in padded jackets and facemasks sprinting down the street at two am. They looked like they’d just committed a robbery.

Aria could feel sweat beading at her forehead beneath her headband, pulling it off and tucking it into her pocket. These shoes were not designed for sprinting, and she could feel the rough plastic digging into her ankle already.

“How long do you think it’ll take us to get back?” Aria yelled over to the other boys, the blood rushing in her ears.

Mark slipped out his phone from his pocket, pulling it up close to his face and checking the time. “Four minutes? We’ve gone in a big circle.”

“We’re dead.” Donghyuck breathed out harshly, picking up speed.

Silence filled in the wind rushing past their ears, feet pounding against the pavement. Mark barely stopped himself before crashing into a small child clinging sleepily to an older woman’s hand; twisting his body out of the way at the last second before profusely apologizing.

It seemed like an eternity before they reached the front doors of the hotel they were staying at for the next two nights.

Panting, Aria slowed to a walk, pulling at the neck of her sweater to fan herself. She took slow and deep breaths, trying to calm her pulse before they made their way into the lobby.

Starting forward, she was stopped by Donghyuck’s hand on her shoulder and Mark’s sharp intake of breath.

“Oh. Oh god.”

“Mark? You alright?” Aria turned to face the boy, watching his face drain of colour.

He lifted a hand, pointing to the one window on the fifth floor with a light still on. It stood out against the other darkened windows, like a lightstick in a sea of concert-goers. And there, illuminated against the cream-coloured curtains, was Taeyong’s silhouette.

Donghyuck huffed. “Aria, this was a terrible idea!”

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7wanderingpaws · 4 years ago

Text

Mess We Made - third

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, ANGST

Words: 9K

WARNINGS: language, mentions of blood, violence, aggressive behavior

Quick A/N: Another angsty ride ❤ plesae let me know your thoughts? ^^

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3 @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma (if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first – second – third -- fourth (last)

masterlist

Mess We Made, part 3

It happened sooner than later. If one can state that two years later was considered sooner. For you, it was. Despite how every minute without him felt like a year itself, it was still too soon for you.

When it happened, it was sudden. Of course it was sudden. You never expected to see him any more. You even hoped you wouldn’t because you knew you would lose control over your wild emotions that you always bore for him.

When you saw him walking towards you, a pretty, though older lady hanging off his shoulder, you had an immediate flashback.

“It-it has to be you,” you told him shakily, avoiding his eyes. You were squeezing your fingers harshly, the skin around them turning a sick white. “-who breaks up with me. If you do it, it will be easier on you. In fact,” you added with more passion and made the mistake to look up at him. He had a confused, shocked expression and his eyes looked so sad it broke your heart in an instant. The ends of his eyes seemed to be exceptionally turned down-ward looking like a lost child that was looking for any form of kindness. You weren’t giving it to him. “I will tell my parents you broke up with me, Baek,” you gritted, preventing the desperate sobs to take over. “You will go and find love. Find a woman who can be with you only, like you always wanted to.”

“No. I don’t need a woman. I need you,” he insisted, tears welling the brims of his eyes. “I only ever wanted you, love, don’t do this.”

You shook your head resolutely. “No. I really can't do this anymore. You are breaking up with me and I am agreeing, Baekhyun. This is it. This is the end.”

You were brought back to reality when you heard a melodious laugh that was followed with hers. Baekhyun had a throaty laugh that you remembered all too well, though you knew it wasn’t easy to get it out from him, especially during university. He never laughed like that with the opposite sex. Yet, here you were.

Baekhyun wasn’t keeping in touch with you just like you made him swear on the day of your breakup, but still, seeing another woman hanging off his shoulder in such a clingy way made blood run down from your face and it actually made you sick to your stomach. It felt like a bile was rising in your throat. Irony, given how you were headed to a wedding salon to choose your wedding dress. Irony, that your fiancée was waiting at the store, yet Baekhyun was just in a nearby park that you had to cross in order to get to the damn salon.

Your mother was next to you, giving you a confused look when she focused on the spot your eyes were trained at, body standing frozen. It didn’t take her too long to recognize Baekhyun, and just as you expected, a smirk followed by a breathy snicker fell out of her thin lips.

“Oh, well, isn’t that your lovely ex.”

He was smiling so brightly. You knew that smile. Only people who were really, really deserving of it received it. She must have been infatuating to him if he had such a huge smile on his tanned face. He laughed at something she said and she covered her mouth prettily, while she still had his upper arm in her grip while he watched her giggle.

“Honey, let’s go. This isn’t a theatre and we have important business to attend to,” said your mother after a silent break, putting her big sunglasses on, not noticing how you actually couldn’t see anything anymore, because your eyes were filled with tears, making everything smudgy and blurry. You needed to sit down. You needed a cold shower, or preferably a painful punch in your face that would make you unconscious and give you amnesia. This was too much. You couldn’t bear looking at them.

Your mother murmured your name sternly before you felt her cold grip on your wrist, tugging you towards the wedding store. “What the hell are you doing? Stop this nonsense and come!”

Your chin was trembling and you closed your eyes as you let out a loud sob, quickly covering your mouth with your hand hoping the couple didn’t hear it.

“Stop wailing! He doesn’t need you anymore, can’t you see?” she continued, whisper-yelling. “I was telling you from the beginning he doesn’t want you, you silly girl!”

You shook your head, trembles taking over your limbs. Needing her to shut up, you started walking quickly towards the salon’s direction, not wanting to meet them, but it was too late. A gentle gasp could be heard when you snapped your eyes open, causing more tears to roll down your face. He stood frozen just a few meters from you.

“Oh dammit,” your mother snapped, huffing as she looked at Baekhyun who was staring in shock, taking in your state.

He murmured your name gently, but you started walking again, not giving him another moment. The woman’s smile was slowly disappearing as she was putting two and two together and even though Baekhyun wanted to walk after you, your mother’s cold words stopped him, which only fueled your steps. Squeezing your eyes shut, you just hurried ahead not caring for your step. Disappearing was the only goal.

“I always knew you weren’t worthy of my daughter. But if you make her cry once more, I swear your title and job will be jeopardized.” She paused as she smiled wickedly at the woman next to him. “Aw, what a gorgeous lady that is. Wish you only the best in the future.”

Baekhyun gave only a scarce glance to your mother, for his eyes were following your figure, long out of the earshot. “We are only co-workers. Doctor Kim is my senior in the clinic.”

Your mother raised an uninterested eyebrow and started walking towards the direction you disappeared into, not sparing the confused couple another glance. “Oh, well, that’s a touching story you have there, Mr Byun. If you’ll excuse me - and my daughter - we are headed to the wedding salon. Today, the bride is trying on her wedding dresses.”

You were pulling the dress over your curves when you heard your mother tsk from behind you. She didn't bother closing the curtains like you asked her to, instead enjoying having the entire staff looking at the way you were dressing. Why couldn't the Earth swallow you up?

“Why wouldn’t you eat?” she scolded harshly, interrupting your desperate thoughts, while you heard a distant chuckle of Mr Kwon - well, Minheob to you now.

“I prefer her like that, mother, don't pester her too much,” were his words.

Letting out a sigh, you felt your nose prickle with an upcoming crying spree. It seemed that you almost calmed down, but every single negative word uttered by anyone around you was ticking you off and you wished you could run.

Trying dresses was once your dream and you had it perfectly thought out, too. You had a clear image of whom you were dressing up for, but that was all in vain now. Wedding was something that was supposed to bring you happiness, smiles, excitement with a little bit of headache given how much had to be taken care of; it was just a headache for you now.

Once the dress was up and over your breasts, the salon worker stepped in with a strained smile and helped you tie it properly so it would stick. She gave it a particularly harsh push and you gasped, frowning at her in the mirror.

“Excuse me, miss,” she mumbled, her look worried as she focused on the job at hand.

“It’s alright,” your fiancée spoke up, finally standing next to your mother so he could check you out in the dressing room. “We need to push it up a little bit.” His smirk brought a wave of nausea over you. Gulping it down, you stood upright and walked out of the dressing room wanting to check yourself in the natural light next to the huge window.

When you saw yourself, your heartbeat sped up. The sight was beautiful and the dress was made just for you; literally. Your cleavage was out but the skirt was tall, long and wide, your body disappearing under the countless metres of textile.

“It's a little loose on the chest,” commented the salon worker as she tiptoed over to you, momentarily breaking you out of your trance. “I'm going to pin the front together,” she informed you and waited for your agreement. You bit your lip and nodded, turning your head towards the window to see the world behind the glass while she worked in front of you.

Everything seemed so typical for Gangnam. People were rushing around, some in fancy suits, others in pretty dresses, many of them owning luxurious cars. You weren’t an exception, of course. Your husband-to-be bought you a red Mustang so that you could move around freely, doing the business around your freshly established lingerie shop.

Someone caught your eye as he walked past, this time by himself. It was all in slow motion when he turned his gaze, not particularly looking out for anything, until he spotted the long skirt of your dress and he realized someone was trying it on. His eyes shot up right away, meeting your widened ones. You felt your chest rising up and down in the corset when Baekhyun abruptly stopped walking and stared at your face.

“Maybe tie it up a little loose,” ordered your mother with a strict voice, her focus solely on the worker who had her hands in the front of your dress. “I’m going to try to make her eat a little more; we want to give an impression of a full bosom and soon to be a mother.”

Baekhyun became blurry in your eyes in the meantime as your eyes burned up. It was painful; him witnessing you trying on a dress that wasn’t meant for him. Both of you were in the right age to marry and you were sure you would have done it were you both living under different circumstances.

Slowly, his eyes drank up your figure, until they reached the hem of the skirt that was pooled around you. He hung his head and nodded once to himself before he looked up and gave you one last glance. He opened his mouth, just the slightest bit, and mouthed: “Beautiful.”

It was half a year later when you found yourself at a very dreaded place.

“We need to make sure you are actually fertile,” hissed your mother into your ear as you were making your way towards the entrance of the clinic located in Gangnam. Both hers and your high-heeled shoes were clinking when you entered, gaining the attention of the personnel at the reception.

“Oh, Mrs Kwon!” They bowed to you in 90 degrees which made you frown and uncomfortable.

“Why do they already know me?” you muttered to your mother who was faking a proud smile in every direction.

“Quite a shame you don't even know which buildings and businesses your husband owns. Thought after being with him for a long while you'd know,” she replied and faked an even brighter smile when the receptionist came over to you.

“Please, follow me. The staff is already waiting.”

“Mum,” you whimpered, slowing your steps in hopes to stop the whole process. As much as you wanted to have your own kids, you really didn't want them with Minheob. He not once touched you when you didn't want it which was a huge surprise, but he also never failed to remind you how his patience wasn't unlimited. Fair enough. A man needs his woman, he would growl into your ear. Still, you were thankful to him for respecting your wishes. Even when you graduated and he wanted an immediate wedding ceremony, he respected your wishes to wait since you couldn't get over your breakup with Baekhyun for the life of you. Minheob accepted even that. Now, it was your turn to give him something, but you only wished for your infertility. That was all. You wanted to become useless for him.

“Stop the tantrum,” hissed your mother, “people are staring. Just get in. I will be there, too,” she added as if it would make the situation any better.

With trembly legs, you followed into the elevator and got off at one of the higher floors that seemed very high-end. No wonder, your husband was the owner after all.

The kind worker led you to one of the big offices where she knocked once and smiled, urging you to go in. You did as she told, masking your messed up state behind a cold look, just like a wife of a wealthy man should.

Inside was a nurse, preparing the bed next to which were countless trays with injections and tampons.

“Hello, Mrs Kwon,” she greeted politely, “the doctor should be here any minute. Please, take a seat.”

Nervously, you bit your lip and nodded, not meeting her gaze as you sat in front of the table. You looked at the stupid chair with stirrups in the corner and felt even more nerves kick in.

“Stop fidgeting,” your mother scolded again when she saw your knee going up and down. “I swear you act like a virgin.”

You snapped your head to her, sending her a glare. “Mother,” you warned, “stop pestering me so much. It's thanks to you that we are here.”

She smiled. “Very well it is thanks to me. Imagine you'd ended up with that boy-”

Before you could snap at her, anger fuming in you at her audacity to bring Baekhyun up again (and this time without even a reason), the doors opened and two figures stepped in.

It was an older woman which you immediately recognized. She was the one who was in the park that day with Baekhyun, laughing. That knowledge immediately set alarms off in your brain and you looked at the taller figure behind her just for your heart to completely stop. When you thought you just died from heart dysfunction, your heartbeat took off into a huge frenzy, bumping loudly in your ears when your eyes met Baekhyun’s.

“Mrs Kwon, what a pleasure,” chirped the doctor with a pleasant smile. If she recognized you, she didn't show it for which you were thankful.

Standing up, you realized how your legs became completely jelly-like, almost letting out under you. You swallowed on a dry throat, your hands breaking out in sweat when you felt Baekhyun's eyes following your every move. The doctor shook hands with you and your mother who seemed displeased at Baekhyun for the slightest of moments before faking another smile. You thought it was too late for her to play pretend for both Baekhyun and doctor Kim, as she introduced herself, already knew the way she was acting with them. Especially Baekhyun. Yet, it didn't stop the male from bowing to her politely, always making sure to pay respects to your mother.

“Well, I received all the orders from your husband,” started doctor Kim and pointed at Baekhyun, stepping aside so you could see him well. “If you don't mind, doctor Byun will take care of the examinations. He is a doctor in training but he belongs to one of the best. After all, he had been accepted to this clinic,” she laughed.

Your breathing became ragged as you sat back down, relieved to let your wobbly legs rest when you saw both of the doctors sitting opposite you and your mother.

“First I will start off with general questions and then doctor Byun will proceed with the necessary examinations under my supervision, of course,” she added while she was fumbling with papers. You tried hard to avoid looking at Baekhyun but he was like a magnet to your eyes, a golden gravity that brought you peace. Now he was causing more of a turbulence than peace, and you almost let out a squeal when your mother reached out with her hand to squeeze your thigh in warning.

Baekhyun wasn't paying you attention as he was listening to doctor Kim's murmurs, probably giving him instructions and guidelines.

“Alright, Mrs Kwon, do you have any history of taking birth control?” asked doctor Kim with an encouraging smile.

You pressed your lips together, nodding. “I've been taking it for many years. I took pills,” you mumbled, not meeting anyone's eyes in the room. Baekhyun knew this information well, but he still nodded as if he heard it for the first time.

“When did you stop with the birth control?”

“Just recently. Half a year ago,” you mumbled. “I have very painful periods, so,” you added sheepishly so that nobody - your mother - would think you prolonged your relationship with Baekhyun.

“Have you had regular periods since then?” asked Baekhyun this time, his professional look not short of a kind spark in his eyes and the slightest of smiles.

“Yes,” you answered truthfully.

“But is there a possibility that those pills affected her fertility?” asked your mother with worry that you couldnt take it seriously. She was afraid for her own life, not yours.

Doctor Kim looked at Baekhyun, silently telling him to answer. “Birth control pills can play with the hormones, even affect fertility, but it is not a permanent change. There are many factors playing that can affect your daughter's ability to conceive children,” he explained calmly while your ribcage was under pressure from the tension. His words were giving you a slight heart attack. “That is why blood tests and a pap smear should tell us more.”

“It would have been much more helpful if your husband was here, Mrs Kwon, given we do not know about diseases in his family. Many times, it is the man that is unable to impregnate a woman. But we are focusing on you now,” said doctor Kim. “If you could please tell us how often you have sexual intercourse with your husband.”

Swallowing on a dry throat yet again, you looked down at your sweaty palms in your lap. “It...W-we didn't… I mean we haven't done it.” You went silent when your mother gave your thigh a squeeze which did not go unnoticed by Baekhyun. “Ye-yet.”

“Oh,” doctor Kim let out in surprise, writing in down. You felt Baekhyun's eyes on you the entire time and you wanted to plead. For what exactly, you didn't know. His eyes were so gentle but so, so unreadable. He cleared his throat and looked down at his notes.

“Then, have you had any problems with having sexual intercourse in the past?” he asked in a low tone and looked back up at you. He was way too good at this; pretending everything was fine, like he wasn't the only one who you had sex with in the past. This man knew you inside out; he knew you even better than you knew yourself.

Jesus, make this stop, you wailed inwardly and shook your head in a tiny no.

You heard a scoff from your mother. “Please, she was a wild teenager,” she said, her eyes blinking dangerously. “I hardly think she had issues. It is just now that she needs to settle down and open up to her husband. Surely you understand,” she laughed but nobody seemed to share her humor when both doctors nodded, Baekhyun's nod more short and curt when he looked back at you.

“Have you been pregnant in the past?” doctor Kim asked and Baekhyun slowly turned his gaze to you. “There are many slip ups, and there are chances that a woman can get pregnant by accident while on the pill.”

You felt gazes on you, though you looked at Baekhyun because the small flashback you had very much involved him, too. Maybe Baekyhun was reliving it as well.

It was during the first year you were dating and none of you were caring that much about being cautious let alone safe. You still remembered well how you freaked out when your period wouldn’t come and you dragged him to the toilets in school so that he would at least be there as a mental support in case the test turned out to be positive. You knew him barely more than one year, so you didn't expect Baekhyun to hold you tight from behind while you waited the crucial few minutes, his lips puckering on your temple in gentle kisses.

“Were you to be a young mother, I would take responsibility,” he murmured in your ear and that was the moment you knew. You just knew he was the one you always wanted next to you, no matter what situation. A man who was willing to stand up and fight for you, a man who knew where his values stood at and would always be there to remind you he was there for you. Baekhyun had very little. His family barely had a quarter of what your family had, so him putting up a fight, were you to be parents, was a huge statement. He would not have any resources and your family would most probably disown you. “I would always take responsibility.”

Of course, both of you were extremely relieved when it turned out negative, resulting in a tight hug where you hid your face in Baekhyun's chest, his uniform’s shirt a little rough on your blushed cheeks. “Let’s just be a little more careful from now on,” you suggested quietly and he smiled widely, caressing your hair. “I still love you, though,” you muttered to him and his grin grew even wider when you pulled away and pecked him on the lips.

“Love you more,” he had whispered.

You blinked when you’d stretched the silence for too long, quickly looking away from Baekhyun's longing orbs. “I haven't been pregnant.”

“Well, honestly, so far everything seems completely fine,” stated doctor Kim. “We will do the blood tests and just to be 100% sure, I will also ask doctor Byun to do a pap smear and a transvaginal ultrasound. Have you had it done before?”

When you shook your head in fear, the doctor smiled warmly. “There is no need to be worried. It is just a tiny examination.” She looked at your mother. “I am afraid I will have to ask you to leave until the examinations are done to give privacy to the patient. We will be with you very soon.”

Your mother was extremely dissatisfied but maybe this one time, you were the one who was more unhappy than her. The last thing you wanted was to stay and have Baekhyun examine you. In fact, you didn't want him to do anything with this. He wasn't supposed to be a part of this nonsense.

You waited until your mother left and doctor Kim was accompanying Baekhyun who now took charge. He motioned to the other chair in the corner right next to the trays with tubes and injections.

“Please sit down over there. Relax and stretch your arm for me,” he said to you softly, already going and putting on gloves and preparing the injection and gauze with confidence. For me. You did as you were told, and breathily, you looked up at your boyfriend - ex boyfriend, and couldn't help but hold your breath at how handsome he was. He still had a tan though his body looked a little thin, more defined.

“Baekhyun, I will need to drop these documents off at the reception. I'll be back in a minute and then we can continue with the ultrasound,” chirped in doctor Kim as if she didn't just completely smash the smallest of resistances you had until then.

“Alright, doctor Kim,” rumbled Baekhyun and stepped to you when the doors to the office closed, encasting the both of you in silence.

Baekhyun prepared the tampon soaked with alcohol and leaned in, holding your arm in his free hand while running the inside of your elbow with the tampon. Swiftly putting it away, he grabbed the injection and looked up at you to catch you staring at him.

The world stopped spinning for the slightest of moments, your gazes locked, the touch of his fingertips on your arm burning. He opened his mouth but it took him a moment to finally say: “This might sting a little bit.” And with that, he looked down, carefully proceeding with drawing your blood.

“Don't you have nurses to do this for you?” you found the voice to ask, though you didn't dare to move even an inch.

“We do,” was his simple answer, his focus still on your arm.

You didn't look, for the colour of your blood could make you faint and Baekhyun's presence was already a burden. Pressing your lips together, you thought about what to say, what to ask or what to tell him. You won a golden chance since you probably wouldn't ever score a private moment with him like this without it being behind someone's back.

“How-” you started gently, deciding to just look at his soft eyes and his forehead that was exposed. “How have you been?”

Baekhyun ran his tongue over his lips before murmuring: “I've been better, thanks.”

Slightly, you nodded, his lack of communication hurting you. “That's good.”

He hummed, not replying.

“Actually-”

He brought the injection out, skillfully closing the lid and stepping away from you. He was fast to press a tampon to the tiny pinch of blood and told you to hold it there. “The results should be out tomorrow. You can call in, there is no need to come.”

Your nose prickled when he didn't look at you, still busy with sorting the tube holder. “Alright.”

“Doctor Kim is not here yet, so let's wait for her and then complete the examination,” he said, finally looking at you. When he saw your teary eyes, he asked: “Are you feeling sick?”

You shook your head and looked down on the ground.

“Dizzy?”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me give you some water, just in case,” he muttered and rushed to grab a paper cup, pouring some cold water in it before handing it to you. You accepted it with a shaky hand, almost spilling the content just when his hand came to cover yours, steading the cup.

Electricity shot down your spine at the contact and you looked at him again to catch him clenching his jaw. “Baekhyun-”

“You lost a lot of weight,” he stated and let his hand drop. Disappointment washed over you and you pursed your lips. “That won't be a big help with getting pregnant you know.”

His deep voice was causing goosebumps on the back of your neck. “As if I am actually trying to get pregnant. Do me a favor and tell my mother I'm not fertile.”

The sudden sarcasm caught Baekhyun off guard. “Careful with what you're wishing for. You'd be surprised how many women are infertile. Even the healthiest ones aren't able to conceive,” he told you, muttering your name gently at the end. “I'm sure you're healthy but… you do need to gain some weight. This isn't how…” he trailed off, frowning on the ground.

You looked up at him, taking a quick sip of water and then putting down the cup on the tray next to you. “This isn't how what?”

“How I know you. How you should look.”

“Try to live my life, then you'd understand.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” he exclaimed with an eye roll. That action made you stand up, facing him.

“Of course you do,” you spat, “but now it isn’t any of your concern, right? You've got yourself a senior colleague who is also your girlfriend. Stepping past our relationship wasn't even so difficult, doctor Byun.”

“What are you talking about?” he whispered, frantically searching your gaze. “My girlfriend? Doctor Kim?” he laughed humorlessly and brought his hands to his hips. “You thought she was my partner? Are you crazy?”

“Then why were you acting like a couple that day in the park?” you asked louder ignoring his last question. “You were laughing and so-- happy.”

Baekhyun observed you for a moment, his eyes flickering about your features as if trying to memorize you over again. “We have a very good senior-junior relationship. She is the age of your husband and far from being my girlfriend.” When you didn't respond, instead stared at him, he added: “I haven't been with anyone since you… left.”

Feeling the change in the air, you sighed and looked down at his hand. Biting your lip, you slowly reached out, brushing your hands, trying to see if he would reciprocate. Hooking your index finger with his you looked up to see him carefully watching you. Still keeping your gaze, he threaded his fingers with yours, giving you a gentle tug and bringing you to him. You stepped closer and his eyes dropped to your lips that were now parted. His breathing came out in gentle puffs when you zoomed in on those lush lips that were practically begging to be kissed by you. Only you. You felt Baekhyun squeezing your hand and his other hand came up to cup your face gently, his eyes constantly flickering between your eyes and lips. His warm hand finally cradled your face and you leaned into the touch having missed it so much. His thumb went out and traced your lower lip, gently pulling on it.

He took a breath to whisper: “You need to take care of yourself. Don't let him ruin you.”

His face was so close now you could practically feel his breath on your mouth. You dared to make the first step and stood on your tiptoes, chasing his lips. To your surprise, he leaned back a bit, your lips stopping mid-air as you looked at him in question.

“I don't think-” he pressed his forehead to yours in an apology, “it's a good idea,” he breathed but he was affected by you, you could tell.

“Just a peck.” You moved again, but he turned his face away now, though still making sure your foreheads were connected. He called your name gently, his thumb swiping under your eye when he looked back into your hurt ones.

“I'd love to, but I will lose all the self-control I have left,” he whispered urgently, not wanting you to take it to heart. He would never deny you a kiss. Never. “It's already been challenging ever since I stepped into the office.”

You closed your eyes and pressed your lips together as if trying to make up for the touch you didn't receive from him. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“No,” he hushed in a whisper. “There is nothing to apologize for,” he breathed, and made the mistake to nudge your nose with his. Snapping your eyes open you let out:

“I can't stand being with you in the same room but not being with you at the same time, Baekhyun,” you said in a low tone, scared to make any louder noises in case the walls had ears. “I can't stand you questioning me about my private stuff when it's you who knows everything about me. It should be you who is here with me because we want to start a family, it should be you who is putting a ring on my finger, it all should be you,” you added, tears welling up in your eyes when the caressing of his thumb didn't stop.

“Shh, baby, don't cry. I know, I know, shh,” he hushed, and brought your head to his chest, encasting you in his embrace. “Baby,” he breathed again when he felt you squeezing his white coat.

“I love you,” you muttered, swallowing your hiccups. Gently leaning back, his hand slid down to the side of your neck sending shivers down your back.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw and with one last glance to your lips, he murmured: “I love you, too. I never stopped.”

More tears welled up when you heard approaching steps from outside. The dread of having to let him go made you let out another set of hot tears but there was no time. “I'm sorry, Baek. For whatever I'm about to say. It's for the best for both of us.”

He frowned and was about to say something when he quickly stepped away from you and the doors opened, doctor Kim arriving.

You quickly patted the palms of your hands on your cheeks, hoping your make-up wasn't too ruined. You desperately wished for more time with Baekhyun, wanting to talk to him longer, having too much on your heart but this was all you would get.

“Are you done with the blood withdrawal?” chirped again doctor Kim, bringing in a small breeze as she passed by you, not noticing the tension between you and Baekhyun. “Let's proceed with the ultrasound, Baekhyun.” She finally looked at you, meanwhile Baekhyun went to prepare the machine. “Oh, dear, are you okay?”

“She just got a little sick during the withdrawal,” informed Baekhyun nonchalantly, which only made you want to weep more. He seemed to go back to being normal so easily while you felt like a broken machine, not able to function without its provider.

Weakly, you nodded and managed to stretch your lips into a dishonest smile. “I'm all good. But I'm afraid I'm going to want to request you, doctor Kim, for the rest of the examinations. I do not want a beginner to do the job.”

Baekhyun shot you a look from behind doctor Kim but you stared at the elder woman who looked surprised.

“Did something happen? Maybe the injecting wasn't comfortable?” tried doctor Kim. “Doctor Byun is a very knowledgeable young doctor with lots of potential. This is the only way he can learn to do the job properly.”

“Well, I do not consider myself a lab rat to be learned on by a young doctor,” you said, mustering up all the hatred you had inside; hatred you had for the situation you were in, hatred for your family and what had become of you. None of it was about Baekhyun, yet you put all the hatred into him. “After all, I am the wife of the owner, aren't I? I do not wish to be examined by doctor Byun.”

Doctor Kim fidgeted with her fingers, her gaze a little wavered as she tried to come up with a proper reply. She obviously wasn't expecting you to act this way and definitely not use your power. “Alright, of course, Mrs Kwon. Doctor Byun will watch and I will proceed with the-”

“No,” you interrupted, not smiling. You sensed Baekhyun shifting on his feet in your peripheral vision but you spared him no glance. “Let me rephrase. I do not wish for doctor Byun's presence while I am in this clinic at all.”

It took another half a year for you to be pregnant. It was long enough time to make peace with the fact that you had to become intimate with your husband. You tried to learn a lot about him, tried to understand the way he behaved and reasons behind the decisions he made.

The morning after you did it, he was already out for work and you were feeling just slightly empty and lonely. Gone were the feelings of joy, contentment, love and pleasant tiredness every time Baekhyun and you made love. But you did something that you probably shouldn't have. If no one knew about it, it wouldn't cause any harm, right? Something like thinking of him while you had sex with your husband. Imagining it was Baekhyun the whole time, despite the touches and caresses your body was receiving were not like Baekhyun’s at all. It was worth the fight if it meant gaining also the pleasure of sex. Why would it be just your husband when you deserved to get your release as well?

Every day, you made sure to tell Minheob that you were not the woman he wanted you to submit into. You would not be only at home, waiting for him to come home (not like you actually would be waiting) and not to do anything besides cooking and laundry. Your house had maids and cooks for a reason. He allowed you to do your business with lingerie and you had been over the moon. It was another reason why you submitted to him in bed. Hopefully, he wouldn't take at least that away from you.

Although, recently he had become extremely protective and suspicious of you, exactly because of your boutique. You were always there or you were always tending to your baby girl, Hayeon which meant you became busy and very much unavailable to him. It led him to try to mark you again in case another man would make a move on you. After having Hayeon, you barely had the time to take a breather before you were pregnant again with the second one. You were in the first trimester already.

Visits to the clinic were always painful because you were scared of meeting him. Until then you were successful in avoiding him, although there were the small moments when he passed by on the other side of the corridor not even noticing you. It made you wonder whether he already found someone else and was happy with her. You wanted him to be happy, but you were still very selfish. The idea of him being with another woman was making you sick to your stomach.

Just like right now. A bile rose in your throat and nausea took over, your gag reflex kicking in. You were fast to cover your mouth but you received worried gazes from your workers. You were in your shop, sorting out the new designs that just arrived when you suddenly became crazily sick.

“Oh, give me a moment,” you muttered, rushing out to the toilets barely making it into the stall before throwing up. Did you eat something bad?

Once you were done, you tried to scramble up to your feet and go to wash up. Just as you were splashing your face with cold water, it came back again. Another strong wave of nausea hit you and you ended up vomiting every possible small thing your body had yet to digest.

Your brain was dizzy and you decided to take a little break, just sitting by the toilet and breathing yourself through the internal turmoil. However, as you were recovering, you felt it. Besides the sickness coming back, there was something very wet down there and quite a painful pull in your lower abdomen close to the contractions you had when giving birth.

“Shit, did I pee myself or something,” you muttered, frowning as you spread your legs a bit. You didn't see anything through your jeans and there wasn't time either for you were heaving yet again, throwing up close to nothing.

Your ears becoming sensitive, you heard rushed steps from far before your assistant appeared in the toilets. She knocked on the stall, calling your name. “Oh god, are you okay?”

She waited patiently for you to end another round when you managed to gasp for air. “I'm not feeling well,” you admitted, panting. Sweat was breaking up all over your face and you could practically feel the blood draining from your face.

“Let's go to the clinic.”

“No, I'll be fine-”

“May I open the door?”

You hummed, eyes closed as you were pressed against the side of the stall. You were fast to snap them open when you heard a sharp gasp and you looked up at your assistant who was gaping at something on the floor. She called your name carefully.

“You're bleeding.”

Tiredly, you tried focusing where she was looking and another wave of sickness came. You were, indeed, bleeding, a small puddle slowly growing around your middle. That could only mean one thing.

“The baby,” your assistant exclaimed in panic and went to hold your hair when you started to throw up. “I'll call the ambulance. We can't even take a taxi, you'd bleed all over the place.”

There was no time to protest.

Everything afterwards became a huge blur. They couldn't calm down your vomiting even in the ambulance as you were constantly triggered while feeling like death. Your jeans were plastered to your skin, the blood smudging everything you sat on.

Since you were in a bad state, they took you to the doctor immediately. To your utter misfortune, it was Byun Baekhyun's shift that day. He was called out from tending to one patient and when he was told your name, he practically sprinted out of the office.

It was a miscarriage.

“It's not usual to have such strong reactions like vomiting,” he told your assistant and then looked at you, lying down, white and pale and just about to pass out. The nurses already changed you into hospital clothes and cleaned you thankfully so you looked at least decent in front of him. “We will proceed with the necessary treatment.”

“Will she be okay?” asked your assistant carefully.

“I'll be just… fine,” you managed to mutter, eyes closed.

Baekhyun smiled, though he still had worry etched into his handsome features. “You heard you boss. She will be fine. The bleeding thankfully stopped. She did lose too much but nothing to worry about. You may go and wait outside.”

She nodded quickly and gave your hand a final squeeze before leaving the room.

Baekhyun sighed, letting the silence linger for a few moments. Gently, he pressed his palm to your forehead. “No fever, that's good.”

You hummed and opened your eyes, tiredly focusing on the handsome male in front of you.

“Did something happen?” he asked quietly, carefully observing your features. “Anything that could have triggered your miscarriage? You were almost at the end of the first trimester. The loss is harsher.”

“No, it happened suddenly. I just felt sick and couldn't stop throwing up,” you muttered, your voice hoarse.

Baekhyun was fast to give you water and helped you gulp down a few sips. “I will do a simple procedure,” he informed you while putting the paper cup down on the small table next to the bed. “I will remove the pregnancy tissue with suction and then I want you to stay in the hospital for two days.”

“It isn't that serious,” you retorted. “I can go home afterwards. I have a baby at home, you know.” Being already a mother, you knew almost everything there was to know about pregnancies, miscarriages and various procedures. In spite of miscarriages being terrible, they rarely required you to stay in the hospital.

“No, I'm the doctor and I want you to stay here for observation. You lost too much blood. Do you even have any idea how dangerous your situation was? What if your assistant didn't find you?” Baekhyun muttered in slight scolding, frowning. He was obviously very worried for you.

Maybe you were becoming really tired when you muttered, ignoring his words: “You know, you stating that you're a doctor is so hot.”

Baekhyun couldn't help himself, he burst out into laughter. “It's a good sign that you didn't lose your humor. I take it you're fine.”

You smiled. “Then I can go home.”

His smile slowly disappeared. “No. You can't go home until I say so. I'm sure someone can take care of your baby while you're not there. Don't you have a babysitter?” He stood up now and went to prepare the necessary machine which was what made you slightly nervous. Until then, you made sure he wouldn't even watch other doctors doing procedures on you. You didn't want to open your legs for him, not like this.

“Can someone else do it?” you asked breathily as nerves kicked in while completely ignoring his question. “I don't want you to do this.”

Baekhyun stopped when he rolled over the machine, throwing you a worried glance. “You don't trust me, do you?”

“I'm ashamed,” you whispered, turning your head sideways so he wouldn't see you.

You heard him sigh and then he walked over and crouched down, looking up at your face. “We have only a doctor-patient relationship. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Just pretend I'm doctor Kim.”

Doctor-patient relationship only.

Right. Sneakily, you stole a glance at his hands, checking for any ring. None.

“I'll be fast. You won't even know I did something down there, hm?” he said gently and stood up.

You closed your eyes and decided to go with it. You were too tired and drained to argue with him and Baekhyun seemed to be very adamant anyway.

“You don't even look that affected about the miscarriage,” he noted as he gently placed your legs on the stirrups and you tried not to react too obviously to his soft touches. Your breathing grew a little frantic despite your efforts.

Not answering was the best option. He didn't need to know your real feelings.

Baekhyun wasn't catching up though. “Didn't you want the child?”

“I don't know,” you muttered eventually, opening your eyes to look at the ceiling.

“Fair enough,” he muttered back. “I'll give you local anesthesia, don't get startled. After this, we will be done fast. Promise.”

That one last word was what made you completely melt. Of course, just as he promised, you were done with everything quickly and Baekhyun stood in front of you with a gentle smile. “We’re done now. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

He sighed and wanted to reach out for your face but held himself back. “A nurse will come and plug you on an IV. You need to rest, so make sure not to move much about. If you need to use the restrooms, call the nurse. Do not go alone, understood?”

You stared at him. Being almost thirty looked so good on him. A grown man, with a broad chest and kind heart. A rare mix. “I understand.” You paused, fidgeting with your fingers. “Will you be here? Through the night?”

He nodded once. “I've got a night shift. I'll stop by to check-” he stopped himself. “Uh, anyway, rest up. Your body is going through a lot right now. Call the nurse for anything.”

Before he could leave, you called out to him, effectively stopping him from walking out. “Thank you,” you whispered with longing in your eyes. “For everything.”

It was 11pm when you stirred awake to a ruckus in the corridor. Unable to make out what was being said - or more like shouted - you strained your ears but you didn't have to. Thundering footsteps were coming right your way and without giving you time to prepare, the door was smashed open, your furious husband appearing in the doorway.

“You lost the fucking child?” he hissed, rushing over to your bed which woke you up right away. Gasping, you tried to sit up but you were very uncomfortable and still tied to an IV. “Look at me! What the hell did you do to lose the child? Are you out of your damn mind?!” he kept shouting.

At his words, your nose prickled. “I did! Is it you going through the aftermath? No. Leave, Minheob. I want to rest.”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “You aren't telling me what to do. And you will be resting at home. You don't need to be here!”

“I was told to stay!” you let out loudly. “And stop making such a fuss! Everyone will know,” you added in a hiss, not wanting the entire Gangnam to gossip about your private life.

“Yeah, everyone will know that my fucking wife can’t even keep the kid inside.”

“And who put the kid in me, huh?!” you said, tears spilling over your cheeks. “Leave! I don't want to see you right now! Get out!” Impatiently, you looked behind his back. Where were the nurses? Of course no one would go against him; he was the damn owner of the whole building and clinic. Why would anyone bother to intervene? Unfortunately, you were quickly becoming dizzy from the abrupt adrenaline rush and needed to lie down.

“No! You will come with me right NOW, this instant!” shouted your husband when he saw you resting your head, dragging you out of your hospital bed, while you were still connected to the IV, your body screaming in pain and tiredness at every jerk you received. You just wanted to rest and not see your husband, preferably ever again. You felt tears prickle at the corner of your eyes again.

“Please, just stop, ” you whispered, too tired to let out a voice, your throat hoarse.

Just then the nurses rushed into your room, trying to separate your aggressive husband from your weak body that was being dragged out of the safe confines of the hospital bed.

“Sir, you cannot do this! The patient needs to rest, please leave immediately or we will call the police! ” tried to reason one of them, her face horrified as she was trying to catch you from falling out of bed.

“No, she doesn’t need any of this! She is completely fine, just pretending to be sick. She is coming with me!”

By then you were crying, scared and just about ready to kill the man in front of you.

“Sir, you need to leave immediately,” said the other nurse that was holding back your husband but with carefulness.

“Call for Dr Byun. Now! ” shouted the third one standing by the doors.

Just hearing his last name made you cry harder. In your brain, you didn’t want him to see this mess, you didn’t want him to see you at all. But your heart was screaming for help, for safety of his arms…

You didn’t know how long it took, how much screaming happened by the time you heard an authoritative voice roar: “Just what the hell is happening here!”

Your husband froze momentarily, turning to look at Baekhyun who was taking in the situation in front of him: your arm now severely swollen because the IV kept being maneuvered in your vein, your husband having a strong hold of that same arm, your crying, puffy face and swollen eyes that connected with his… Please.

“The patient is just after miscarriage and needs to rest!” spoke Baekhyun, a menacing undertone in his voice palpable. “Leave this instant!”

“I am not leaving without my wife,” spat your husband.

Baekhyun was holding himself back and it was painful. Physically painful. He couldn’t keep looking. “Call the security and call the police as well,” he murmured as he was rolling up the sleeves of his white coat and shirt underneath.

Just when you were about to process what was happening, the strong grip on your arm loosened until the touch was completely gone, your husband stumbling backwards, holding his cheek.

“Dr Byun,” weeped one of the nurses, holding her mouth with her small hands, completely shocked at the unexpected action.

Baekhyun was gritting his teeth, sending daggers at Minheob. “She almost lost her life,” he roared again, trying to control his feelings, because the slightest idea of him losing you was sending him into an emotional wreck. “Your child has not survived, so you should be thankful we managed to save your wife! And now, leave immediately!”

“I am coming back for her later," whispered your husband threateningly, pointing his index finger at you. "She is not staying here without my supervision.” He gave you one dangerous look before storming out of your room.

Your head was spinning, the adrenaline rushing too fast for your poor heart to catch up. Feeling yourself going completely limp, you let go, the nurse’s secure hold quickly exchanged with a pair of strong arms you just wished for a few minutes ago. The familiar scent overtook your heightened senses instantly calming you down.

Hearing Baekhyun cursing before giving out rushed orders, you finally heard the words you wanted to hear from the pair of lips you adored so much. “Shh, I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you anymore.”

You slowly nuzzled your nose into his chest, his coat growing wet with your tears. You whimpered when the dizziness wouldn’t subside, while trying to inhale Baekhyun’s entire existence.

“Baby,” he whispered, gently running his hand up and down your back. “You're fine. He isn't coming back anymore. I won't let him.”

“I'm not feeling well,” you murmured, eyes scrunched close. “Please, make this stop.”

“We are giving you something to calm you down, just bear with them, sweetheart,” he spoke to you softly before shouting: “Where is the nurse? Bring the medicine this instant!”

Even in that moment you could feel your broken heart swell with love for him.

The nurses were trying not to give curious, questioning gazes to the sight in front of them, instead following Baekhyun's orders before he would lose his cool. He rarely ever as much as scowled at his co-workers. But it seemed that anything to do with you would set the hidden tiger in Baekhyun afree.

“How will I survive this?” he heard you mutter and scooted yourself even closer to him. “Just…” you swallowed harshly, “how will I get through this without you Baekhyun?”

// // // // // // //

A/N: We have one more chapter to go! Thank you so much for reading! 💕

Please let me know what you thought? :))

CuriousCat

#baekhyun fanfication #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun au #baekhyun #baekhyun doctor au #MWM #mywritings

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skvaderarts · 3 years ago

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Hiraeth Chapter 61: Rescue

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Sixty-One: Rescue

Note: I hope I didn't scare any of you off with any of the recent changes I've made! How have you been? Do you like how things have been going recently? And if so, I'd love to hear your predictions!

(-~-)

The salty coastal air kissed the rocks alongside the water’s edge, the ebb and flow of the shoreline a familiar sight by now considering the fact that they had grown up here. From the window of their home, they had a rather nice view of the water, even if they had no ability to step out onto a balcony or patio to actually take it in. Still, property with a view was expensive in most places, so neither of them was going to complain about the fact that there had to be a piece of glass between them and such a wonderful view. It was one of the better things about the house, all things considered.

Nero had arrived in short order, just in time for dinner and for a good telling off from Nico for having been gone so long. His explanation as to why and what was going on made perfect sense on paper, but when he tried to elaborate further into the details, It had devolved into a situation that required more than a little explaining, especially when it came to matters pertaining to his brother, Morgan, her brother, and literally everything else that was going on. It was a sort of conversation that drew captivated but clearly confused gazes from those who listened to it before they nodded in the barest of understanding and returned to their previous tasks, still wondering what had just been said to them, but unwilling to ask at the risk of sounding foolish.

Dinner had gone well enough, even though it served to be a wake-up call of sorts for him. Little Kyle and Carlo were doing well, and Julio was starting to become more proficient with the concept of using utensils. It seemed like he'd only been gone a few days, and yet the children had seemingly changed to a noticeable degree. He truly desired to spend more time with them once everything was over with and he had no pressing matters to attend to. What was going on in their lives did actually mean a great deal to him. Maybe he could even bring them over to see their uncle sometime? He could see it now, the look of trepidation and horrified anguish on V's face as he attempted to find a polite way to explain that he was on the brink of a nervous breakdown at the very thought of allowing children to run amok inside of his generally well-kept home. Oh, that would be a comedy masterpiece. He had to schedule an uninvited visit sometime in the future.

But one thing did occur to him as he chatted with the children that night and generally spent time with them after his return: when they got older, would they go down the same path that two generations of his own family had gone down? Three generations if he counted his grandfather, though he'd never met him to really ask if it went back any further than that. He wouldn't be surprised to find out that the urge to do battle ran even further back than that, but one thing that did concern him was the idea of his entirely human and not exactly magically inclined children doing battle against demons. While it was totally true that there were plenty of demon hunters who were human, the idea that they could be in such danger was worrisome to him, especially since he himself had not exactly gone unharmed in his own career. He liked to think that some of the work he did was in service of a safer world for them, one where they would not have to do battle against demons in order to keep the forces of darkness at bay.

They deserved something that he couldn't have: A normal life. But they also deserve the choice to choose something else. He wouldn't think much more about it for now, but he couldn't say that he thought it would be right to dissuade or try to stop them, either. He had been allowed to take his own path, and he couldn't take that from anyone else, even if he tried. He just hoped it would never come to that.

As he glanced at the window across the water towards the mainland, he peaked back over his shoulder at Kyrie. She had just returned from the bathroom, completely and utterly ready to go to sleep. He would need to turn the light out. There was no need to keep her awake while he thought about these sorts of things to himself. And in all honesty, talking to her about it was probably the best thing he could do. But that could wait until morning, or perhaps even later than that. These were long-off problems, and he would not perturb or disrupt what could otherwise be a more than earned night’s rest just so that he could inquire as to her thoughts about the topic. There would be plenty of time for that. It was one thing that he promised himself.

He refused to not be there for them for any reason. The cycle couldn't be allowed to continue.

"Nero, do you mind closing the window before you head to bed, please? I've heard it's going to be especially cold tonight, so it's probably a good idea," Kyrie asked politely as she practically burrowed her way into the covers, the only indicator that she was actually in the bed being the small lump that formed under them and a tuft of her red hair sticking out the very top. She had put extra blankets on the bed recently, and as such, it was especially plush and warm. A welcome sight and supremely comfortable. It was almost enough to make him snicker.

He took a moment to clear his mind before turning in her direction, hoping that his momentary pause didn't set her down a path of worry. She was unfortunately very good at reading him, and it seemed that she always knew when something was on his mind that either shouldn't be, or that was weighing heavily on him. Still, he would be lying if he said that he wasn't glad that someone understood. He didn't want that burden to fall onto her, but it was always good to know that there was at least one person who absolutely did understand everything that he was going through, and was always willing to talk. Well, now he had more than one person like that in his life, but there was always going to be something special about the rapport between himself and the love of his life. It was essential and welcome in their relationship, and he knew that should he ever need to be there for her, he would try his very best. She seemed to be able to internalize whatever was on her mind and solve those sorts of internal dilemmas herself for the most part, but he would never leave her hanging. Not in a million years.

"Yeah, sure thing Kyrie. I'll be right over. Let me take care of that for you."

True to his word he pulled the window shut from the top, locking the latch. He then pulled the heavy curtains shut, realizing for the first time that she had seemingly put up the shear set they kept up in the room during the summer. It seemed that she was trying her best to keep the cool air out, and the cozy heat inside. A smart move. They were not heavy, so they probably wouldn't do much, but it was better than nothing.

She giggled, gesturing towards the bedside table. Sitting there was a small but familiar mug, whipped cream topping it and an inviting aroma accompanying it. Steam seemed to bellow from the top, indicating that whatever was in the drink that he had been given was warm and probably should be drunk sooner rather than later. He would have asked her what it was if not for the fact that he knew that she was going to tell him regardless. He could see the excitement all over her face. How precious.

"Great, because I made hot chocolate! I thought you might like some, so I put your cup on the bedside table." She patted the covers invitingly, a large grin on her face as she seemed to excitedly wait for him to join her. He could only guess that she was waiting to drink her own drink in order to see if he liked what she made for him. It was the most Kyrie thing he could think of, and it was genuinely endearing. "Come drink it before it gets cold, silly! Your whipped cream is going to melt into a sad puddle if you don't and make a mess."

Nero could practically hear the joy in her voice as she spoke those words. Kyrie loved this time of year. Pumpkin spice, apple spice, cinnamon spice, you name it. He was probably forgetting a few. Everything had to be spiced within reason, and anything that wasn't had to be in the form of hot chocolate, peppermint, or even eggnog. She was very into seasonal drinks for the holidays, and with Halloween fast approaching, she was going to have ample opportunity. He just smiled and headed over to sit with her, setting aside the strange sensation of disturbance that he felt in the pit of his stomach. More than likely it was just the events of the day getting to him. They all had a lot on their mind right now.

He knew that if he was truly needed, he would know it, but until then he would enjoy this quiet time with Kyrie and the children and wait for them to enact their plan. Sometimes the best thing you could do was simply wait for the person with the plan to tell you what they needed you to do, and as much as he didn't like sitting there and waiting to be ordered around, the simple matter of the fact was that he couldn't actually intervene even if he wanted to, and he definitely did. But without access to Yamato, he wasn't going anywhere to do anything. So for now, the hot chocolate was going to have to be enough for him. And anything that Kyrie did always was.

"Be right there. I'm sure it's gonna be great."

(-~-)

Picking up the pace as he hurried along, V and his companions were all too aware of the fact that they could still possibly be the prey rather than the predators in this arrangement. By the time that they had made it to the roof, the fight had been over, and it was safe to say that the red-haired man who he'd come to be quite fond of had seen better days. The wound that he'd taken to the chest didn't seem to be the primary issue, however. V had missed the fight, so he couldn't be sure as to how the wound had been inflicted or if it had actually done any lasting damage, but the one thing he could be sure of was that something was just off about this particular injury. There was a nagging sensation that was building in the pit of his stomach demanding that he seek someone with more teeth than himself to make sure that Sirrus survived.

There was something more going on with him. He just knew it.

Looking up the street as he ran, he wasn't surprised to see that there was basically no one out right now. The inclement weather had seen to that. And yet, for the first time and perhaps an entire life, he wanted someone, anyone else to be out there. It wasn't because they could keep him safe. Far from it, actually, if the train station was anything to go by. No, he just needed quick access to a phone, and while asking to borrow one from a stranger while allowing his familiars to carry Sirrus up the street on the back of a demonic panther was a good way to set someone off, he didn't have very many options.

Shadow and Griffon were doing their level best to keep from dragging the fiery-haired adjudicator down the street on the ground as they attempted to keep up with their master. Scraping all of the skin off his body wasn't going to do him any favors, and he didn't want to hear what he would probably say when he came to if that happened. It would just be a bad time for everyone involved, physically, emotionally, and mentally. No, it was best to just be as careful as possible to try and make sure that he was all right. They had all been through more than enough that night.

But then that brought them back to the matter at hand. He knew precisely who he needed to contact, and he knew exactly how to contact them, but for the life of him, he couldn't find a payphone anywhere. And that was atrocious because depending on the part of town you were in, there were probably more of them than there were family pets in this neighborhood. The fact that he couldn't find even a single one of those booths now that he actually needed one was as astonishing as it was asinine. For a moment he considered the possibility he might be in another of Belial's illusions before rushing along down the road, shaking his head. No, they were just nowhere to be found.

"Do you need to stop?" V asked as he looked around the neighborhood, somewhat sure that he recognized where they were a bit better now. He'd seen this neighborhood before at the very least, so that was an improvement. And now that he had some idea as to where they were, he could navigate to the nearest phone booth a bit easier. For a moment, he considered the fact that if his adversary were actually watching, this might be very educational to him. His extreme levels of confusion in regards to the topography of the area he was a dead giveaway to the fact that he didn't live over here. The more familiar someone was with their surroundings, the more obvious it was, and the easier it was to figure out how close they were to actually being home. He'd learned that himself first hand, as a kid. He'd gotten lost and left behind quite a few times.

"Can't say that we do, buddy. No need to worry about us back here. Just hurry up and make the call before something else bad happens. We've got our hands a little full over here." Griffon was attempting to help hold Sirrus up in a more upright position, making it slightly less obvious that he was actually completely unconscious. It was more for the benefit of anyone who happened to pass by than it was anything else, but either way, they had to get out of here quickly.

"Very well, then. I think I might have found one. Let's hope that it works." The Young summoner pointed in the direction of what seemed to be the outline of one of the booths just a short distance up ahead towards a plaza, a plaza that he silently hoped would have more people in it. That way the possibility of politely asking to borrow someone's phone was available to him in case the payphone didn't work. He just hoped that nobody noticed that his friend was unconscious, or he might get more than he'd bargained for out of the deal. He needed assistance, not attention.

Making his way over towards the phone booth in as quick a manner as he possibly could manage, the summoner rushed inside, checking the phone before he made any commitment towards actually using it. The buttons were a little wonky, and it was all in all somewhat dirty as was to be expected since it was outside, but when he picked up the receiver, he was pleased to find that it did, in fact, actually work. It seemed that he'd gotten lucky for the first time tonight. Well, that wasn't quite true. Depending on your definition of lucky, he'd been nothing but the entire evening. But this was the first time he'd actually gotten lucky in a way that he wanted to be.

"So... Does it work? Or are we going to need to look for another one?"

V looked over his shoulder at his avian companion, nodding in confirmation. The iridescent blue bird seemed to be relieved to hear this news, sighing as he fluttered downward and allowed Sirrus to rest against the edge of the phone booth. Carrying an entire person for long periods of time could be exhausting for him, as their previous exploits had shown. But the last thing that he was going to do was just leave him lying there. He'd continue to carry him. Shadow curled up at the foot of the booth, more hidden in the darkness than Griffon. She needed to rest, too. V patted her gently, grateful for their combined efforts.

A cursory examination of the younger adjudicator showed that he was still breathing, and that the bleeding had seemingly stopped, but that he was still unconscious. He seemed to stir slightly for a moment, his breathing patterns changing ever so slightly as though he'd been disturbed by something, but he did quickly drift back off to sleep, unable to maintain anything even remotely similar to consciousness for the time being. At least he was still somewhat cognizant. As far as V was concerned, that was a huge plus. He could work with that. And even if he wasn't, well... It wasn't like he was going to just leave him out here, was it?

Dialing the phone as quickly as he can manage, V attempted to work with the wonky controls of the old phone booth as best as he could, hoping that the fact that it had a dial tone wasn't its only functionality. He subconsciously held his breath for a moment as he waited to hear the phone actually ring, aware that he didn't have that much change on him to keep trying. It was late. Maybe he could still find a business that was open? He was running out of options, and he couldn't travel a very far distance with an injured person in tow, not to mention that he wanted to be in the best condition himself. But he also refused to leave him. It would be a very bad idea to do that.

But to his relief, seconds later the phone rang and he waited with bated breath as he hoped that someone would actually pick up. He was somewhat sure that he had the right number but less sure that they would actually pick up the phone this time of night. It wasn't that he didn't think anyone would be awake. No, that was a given considering how many people were actually living there. But it wasn't very common for people to just pick up a phone and answer it from an unknown number, and if they had caller ID, then they probably could see that this was just that.

Fortunately, it seemed that the universe was willing to continue to humor him that night as seconds later the phone was picked up off the receiver. A somewhat familiar cheerful voice answered the phone, and it took him several moments of thankful, overwhelmed confusion to realize that he was talking to Hydrangea. Thank goodness, someone that knew him by name.

"You've reached the Ludwig residence. State your name and reason for calling, and I can see if I can get you to the right person."

Slumping over against the wall tiredly, V let out a relieved, exhausted sigh. He'd actually managed to get someone on the phone. Part of him couldn't believe that. "Hydrangea, it's me. V. Please, I think I need your help. Or your mother's help? Regardless, It's Sirrus. And it's not good."

(-~-)

Well, it's good to see that he managed to actually find help! As soon as everyone else gets back, they're going to have quite the situation on their hands. It's time to take the fight to their enemies. No more running and hiding. I'm going to have a blast writing this segment! Well, I've had a blast writing all of it, but you know what I mean!

Let me know what you think in the comments, and I'll see you all next week! Hope everything's been going well for you this week! And thanks for reading! Bye-bye for now! Also, before I go, I wanted to know your opinion on something: would you prefer that I upload chapters for you during the holiday season (Christmas week through to New Year's), Or are you going to be too busy to read during that time? Because if so, I could start squirreling away chapters for you so that you can have something to read, and I don't have to worry about working on them during the hectic holidays! I don't mind, either way, I just want to know what works best for you! See you all on Wednesday!

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you-are-worth-the-wait · 4 years ago

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stories. okay. this one was an extreme first for me. so the girl who takes the definition of being a sub completely literally. she wanted to be a complete submissive to the point where if she broke any rules, she wanted a punishment and she got off on it. one of the things she did at times was when she was sucking my cock, she’d either get a little carried away or something but she’d use/scratch her teeth against my cock to the point where i’d flinch. i think after a couple of times i flinched, she noticed and asked what was wrong. i told her but i didn’t tell her before because i didn’t want to sound like an ungrateful dick. but then she told me that i should punish her for hurting me. i asked her how should i punish her. she told me to choose. the first thing i thought of that wouldn’t necessarily have us changing positions and what not for punishment was that i told her i’d pull her off my cock if i felt her teeth on me and i’d slap her face. she had told me before hand about the lengths she went through with her other Doms so i had an idea of what she’d be open to, and it was a hell of a lot. so she liked that punishment. so much so that i think she bratily grazed her teeth along me just to get punished. that was pretty insane. and the fact that she really wanted me to slap her pretty hard too was, interesting and intimidating. but the thing was, she received pleasure from it. so i did it because she enjoyed it. i know that’s off limits to you so it was different to have someone ask that of me and they find pleasure in it.

another thing that happened with her is that she told me that when she gets tipsy sometimes, she’ll throw up. i didn’t know what her definition of tipsy was or how much it took to get to it. anyways, she was giving me blowjob after drinking and wouldn’t you know it, she tried to get as much of me into her throat that it triggered you know what and she ended up puking on me...lol. it was not a fun or pretty site. at least you did it in the shower and not necessarily on me and even if you did, i think you and i have gotten to the point where that i’d be more concerned for your safety and well being than to be disgusted by you puking on me. this was a first for me and was weird. so yeah, i was lying down on the bed receiving the blowjob and my cock in her throat made her puke all over my groin area. of course we ended up maneuvering to the shower in order to minimize the damage. she was so embarrassed and was scared that i’d be angry at her and not want anything to do with her that she started to cry right in the shower and was apologizing profusely. i told her that it was okay and that it was something that just happened where she was caught up in the moment and shyt happened. it took some time to assure her i wasn’t mad and that it wasn’t a deal breaker at that moment that. when she finally calmed down and realized that i wouldn’t leave her at the moment because of the incident, she was so happy and grateful that she wanted to continue blowing me as a sign of gratitude. that was a wild play of emotions. luckily no clothes were involved :P

i’m realizing that these aren’t the sexiest of stories, huh...*lol* well, this is one of the better ones then. kingman girl, nearly 50, was married for 20 years and finally worked up the courage to walk away from the marriage after her kids had grown but realized she knew it wasn’t right at some point but didn’t know how to leave and kids being involved made it worse. anyways, setting that scene, she is extremely hyper sexual and when she tried to initiate things with her ex, he rejected her and made her feel like asking for intimacy was a character flaw of hers. he only wanted it on his own terms and any time she sought it out, he made her feel like her want for intimacy was a bad thing or a weakness. see she ended up suppressing her urges. maybe that’s why she is so open to pleasuring me the way she does? anyways, one time she arranged it so that she rented a room and stayed the night and asked me to stay with her. that night while i was fucking her, at one point i brought up towards the window and the sheer curtain was still covering the window as we were only 3 stories up and you could see the pool from where we were at. there were a couple families with kids swimming and playing in the pool. i brought her there just for the thrill and the idea that someone could possibly see her/us but no one could from there. i could see that she was trying to hold the curtain closed so i told her she should open up the curtains. she was hesitant about doing it but i’ve read her pretty well up to that point that i told her that i would stop fucking her if she didn’t. i already could sense that there was a sub side to her so that’s what prompted me to test it out. so after she hesitated, i stopped and pulled out of her. she then begged me to keep fucking her and i told her she knew what she had to do if she wanted me to continue. she opened up the curtain and i resumed fucking her with where anyone could have seen her/us. we ended up cumming that way and later admitted that she got so much of a thrill out of it that if we ever get the chance to do so, she wanted to be fucked that way again. that same night, i fingered her till she squirted. nothing like you. if you were 2 out of 10 only because of “buckets”, i would have rated her as a 7/10, 10 being nothing. the thing was, she has never squirted before, ever. it was the first time she had ever done so. she said she didn’t know exactly what was happening or what she was feeling but she could feel that she was wetter than usual and when she looked down and saw her fluids splashing while i was fingering her and she eventually saw the puddle on the bed, that’s when she admitted that she had only heard of if but never thought she was capable of doing so. so yeah. at the time, i didn’t think it was a big deal. i just thought, “oh hey, she can squirt too. not as much as L but she can. that’s kewl.” so yeah, introducing a girl to the phenomenon of squirting for the first time in her life after almost 50 years i guess was a pretty decent accomplishment by me. so...yay? :P

hope those stories tide you over or that’s what you were looking for. it’s weird cuz i’m starting to remember and recall a lot of stories and i guess since i don’t normally tell people about them, it kinda just falls to the way side. it’s not like i do things in order to collect stories and brag about them. they just happened and i think it was something that was shared only between me and that person. and yeah, i guess looking at things, it seems a lot of them did take place at work because of proximity. go figure...*ws*

still, i’d rather reserve the stories till i’m with you. i imagine us laying next to each other as i recount them, caressing and fondling you, you stroking me or absent-mindedly licking or sucking me off so you can listen to what i’m saying. then we get to a point where we work ourselves to a frenzy that we end up having our own little adventure/story. “do you concur?” - Frank Abignale from Catch Me If You Can :P

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moonbeamsung · 4 years ago

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CRΣΣKS

Love, a second glance, it is not something that we need.

member: jeno

au: guardian angel in disguise!jeno x gn!reader, guardian angel au

word count: 3.4k

genre: angst

warnings: character death/loss, profanity, no happy ending, mentions of religion, questioning/loss of faith

recommended song: 715 - CRΣΣKS by the nor’easters

author’s note: Please be very careful with volume when listening to the song (above) that inspired this story! But even without reading the lyrics/listening, the fic will still make sense, and happy reading :)

network tags: @kpopscape @neo-constellations @starryktown

The wind is whistling, weaving in and out of the tall river reeds like an invisible needle and thread, stitching itself into each and every crevice of the world’s gift called nature.

Another one of its many gifts is the young boy that’s resting beside a rushing brook, toes dipped into the cool water and face illuminated by the sun as it beats down onto the earth with celestial strength.

Well, a gift from the heavens, that is.

Sent from the endless skies above, Jeno is your guardian angel, assigned with posing as a humble peasant boy in the village, all to keep a watchful eye on you from afar. In his human form, he spends his days wandering the cobblestone roads and narrow alleyways between the quaint buildings, with no family to return home to at dusk. A sunny meadow on the outskirts of town becomes his home, and he takes refuge in the shelter that the overgrown grass provides.

Everything is going smoothly, and he’s doing his job just as he should be. It’s routine now, waking up and rising from his earthen mattress, curtains of copious plant leaves letting in the sun’s rays. He finds you, observes at a comfortable distance, and that’s that. At its core, being a guardian is really an easy job. A predictable one.

A monotonous one.

Until one day you approach him, youthful eagerness in your eyes piercing and nearly painful, even to his invulnerable body. He’s never seen you up close before, only on the near horizon as you’ve gone about your daily chores, tending to the housework just like any obedient child should.

“...Who are you?”

Now, Jeno is faced with a decision more challenging than any that us mortal beings have to make in our entire lives. Engaging with one’s assignment is an extremely dangerous path to take. Unimaginable punishments await, should the guardian make a wrong choice. But Jeno was careless, and he had allowed himself to be discovered by the only human on Earth that the divine forces permit him to be seen by.

He makes the fatal error of answering you, ultimately shattering a future he’ll never get to live out, one that he doesn’t even know he would’ve had. Like a sharp rock being thrown at a church’s stained glass window, the meticulously carved pieces of his worldly existence fall to the ground with a deafening crash, broken beyond repair.

“I’m Jeno,” the strikingly majestic cadence of his words is like that of angel trumpets, the sound ringing in your head and making you dizzy with both fascination and infatuation.

And just like that, in three short syllables, you’re both fated to fall before you can even spread your wings.

From the moment you hear his name tumble from those beautiful lips, you’re hooked, and he knows it. He sees it in the way you look at him, in the way you act, the way you talk. A child experiencing a first and a forbidden love all at once.

It breaks his heart, because he knows it can’t, and shouldn’t last. The churning rapids of the creek nearby weep for him, for they know that in a matter of just a few short years, their waters are destined to mix with the salty tears that will steadily cascade from your trembling chin.

Jeno remembers, although vaguely, the brief amount of time he spent living amongst the clouds, being prepared by the heavenly elders for this expedition of a lifetime, quite literally. He remembers the scriptures, the strictures, and all the times he’s been warned of the severe consequences that come with immorality.

But even the purest of young angels aren’t infallible, still susceptible to compulsions that lead them to sin and defy their creator.

Relishing in the fading daylight, you join him by the water’s edge, listening to his soothing tone as he answers your ceaseless inquiries with harmless little lies as white as heavenly robes and cherub wings.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. The first sin.

It’s interesting, he thinks, that despite looking after you in the endeavors of your youth for quite a while now, he knows next to nothing about who you truly are. Actions may speak louder than words, but how can he know that if he’s never heard your voice to begin with?

As the quiet, languid conversation shifts from his purpose there to yours, Jeno learns that you’re very content with your life, taking pride in helping your family with daily tasks as well as assisting your neighbors in the close-knit village with theirs.

Just then, all the smears of dirt and scattered scratches adorning your face catch his attention, gained after hours of hard work. No amount of water is ever enough to scrub them off of your skin at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, you feel tears prick your eyes as you try to fall asleep at night, frustrated with your lowly appearance and how it never seems to match your relatively optimistic outlook on life.

But Jeno doesn’t care. You’re breathtaking even in his eyes, the eyes that belong to an actual angel. If that fact alone isn’t enough to boost your confidence, he doesn’t know what else possibly could.

Like a fool, he lets himself drown in your sublimity for a moment, marveling at the ethereal glow of the sun on your smooth, ageless face. The faint noise of wisps of air blowing gently through the meadow and rustling the flora makes him drowsy, but the sight of a pure white heron landing gracefully on the opposite side of the riverbank brings him back to full consciousness in an instant.

The bird, an omen of sorts, had been sent down from Heaven, conjured up from a fleeting idea and into a physical reality, by the holy beings looking down upon the earth, indicating that they’re well aware of the threat he poses and just how close he is to making an irreversible mistake in regards to you, his assignment and assignment only.

The heron abruptly unfurls its delicately feathered wings, as if frightened, before taking off and floating away on the breeze, both of your gazes inexplicably drawn to it as it flies until it’s out of sight altogether.

It warns him of just what he’s messing with, exactly.

This is not a part of the creator’s plan for you, for him. Falling in love with the one an angel is supposed to guard is an appalling crime to commit in the eyes of the elders that inhabit the sky, in the eyes of God. Though it doesn’t explicitly go against a commandment or biblical law, it’s just an understood rule. It’s wrong.

Jeno tells himself this, and continues to do so over the many years that he looks after you, never acting on his emotions, only acknowledging them before sending the less-than-acceptable thoughts into the depths of his conscious mind. He only wishes he had a key to lock them up and forget he even felt them in the first place.

Even as an angel, he ages just like anyone else, the both of you going from kids to teenagers and then nearing the young-adult stage of life, with you remaining blissfully unaware of Jeno’s true identity all the while. It’s a miracle he’s managed to keep his secret for this long, honestly, but like grains of sand in an hourglass, your time together is running out, whether you like it or not.

Not even a year before your entire world, your entire reality comes undone before your very eyes, Jeno feels as if his has already done just that. Because you’ve found someone. And that someone isn’t him.

He hates the feeling of jealousy, despises it with every fiber of his heavenly being. But he can’t shake it, can’t bear the way it clings to him like an unwelcome visitor. An unrecognizable emotion, one so foreign that he can’t even put a name to it, is stirred up at the sight of you in their arms, so pure and so unworthy of this person. Boy, if he didn’t know any better, Jeno would swear that you were the angel.

With each day that passes, he begins to feel the final shreds of both his dignity and his self-control slipping away, lost to the familiar breeze that whips through the village, stronger than ever these days. He can no longer contain it within himself. He wants you.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods. The second sin.

How ironic that a Sunday, of all days, is when everything falls apart.

The sun is hanging low in the sky, just barely grazing the horizon with its bright beams of warmth as it steadily rises, bathing the world in a soft yellow glow. You can also see the moon leftover from the night that ended not so long ago, fading fast but visible nonetheless. Two complete opposites, so close but prevented by the laws of nature for coexisting in the same space, at the same time.

Maybe, just maybe, if you knew just how much you had in common with the celestial objects above, you would have clutched the hand of Jeno a bit tighter yesterday, intertwined your fingers a little more closely with those of someone who had become the closest thing to a best friend that you had ever known. You admit that you wish he could be something more, but you know better than to push your limits.

You got tired of waiting to see if he felt the same way, choosing to fill the void with someone else that you liked, yes, but who just wasn’t the same as the boy who had always been there, waiting in the meadow every morning without fail. Still, your emotions are ever-alert and always searching for any sign of reciprocation within Jeno.

He’s nowhere to be found when you reach the water’s edge, the edge of the creek where you wasted away endless summer days and frosty winter nights, colorful spring afternoons and brisk autumn evenings.

This morning would seem no different than the rest if not for his absence. The knot in your heart loosens, but not by much, when you spot him at the forest’s edge, looking weary.

Jeno notices you and calls out your name with a smile, but something about it isn’t genuine. It’s pained, desperate, like he wants to hold onto this moment forever, unwilling to carry out the plan he’s already regretting. It’s too late now, he thinks to himself, but he’s wrong.

It’s been too late for years.

“Jeno?”

“This way!” He chokes out. It’s somewhere between a sob and a plea, but there’s no time to figure out which is the more appropriate term. He disappears between the trees and amidst their mossy branches, blending in with the shadows cast by the thick canopy of leaves, and you break into a sprint, afraid of losing him to the merciless wilderness and what lies within.

Thankfully, he’s not too far gone. A small clearing greets you less than a dozen strides in, and in the very center of it stands a glass gazebo, run-down and covered in so many twisting vines to the point where the small structure is almost fully consumed by the nature surrounding it.

The scene is beautiful, so much so that it makes you uneasy. What’s going on? Why did he bring you here? Why does he seem so sad? Jeno is never sad, maybe he could be described as brooding or solemn on the rarest of occasions, but never this melancholy, never so utterly hopeless in his expressions and his aura.

None of these questions are answered, even as he takes your hands in his own and leads you inside of the gazebo, its see-through panels catching the light with elegance and ease.

“I need to tell you something.” Just like it did the first time you heard it, his voice still shocks you like a bolt of electricity, your blood pressure and heart rate skyrocketing. All of this is heightened, though, by grim tone he’s speaking to you with.

“What is it, Jen?” There it is. The nickname you made up for him that, although simple, makes him feel like he’s on top of the world. Actually, scratch that: it makes him feel like he’s floating in the sky, up past the clouds and even further away from this cruel planet than the heavens are from Hell.

You’re only making this harder for him. He might as well just spit it out, because all this waiting is agonizing for the both of you.

“We... we can’t be together.”

The sentence that leaves his lips is two declarations wrapped up in one singular statement, the first being that he wants to be with you in the same way you want to be with him. It’s much too hopeful, misleading your emotions down a path of elation instead of dread. The second is unpleasant, a bitter taste lingering on his tongue once he says the words.

“...Yes, yes we can, Jen, because I don’t really love them and all this time it’s been you—”

“You don’t understand,” he tries to stop the confession spilling out from your heart before it overflows, drowns you. “I’m not who you think I am.”

Stunned to silence, he gives you a moment to drink in the implications of his words. “...I’ve known you for over half of my entire life, and you’re trying to tell me I have no idea who you really are? Not a chance,” you laugh softly, shaking your head and glancing down at the wooden gazebo floor, old white paint peeling under your feet.

“But haven’t you ever wondered why I’m always there by the creek every morning? How I turn up throughout your day at the perfect time? How I’m suddenly right by your side when you need me the most?”

You have wondered. Many times, in fact. But the possibility of him being anything other than human was not at the top of your very rational list.

“...Don’t you see? I’m your guardian angel.”

He sees you blink, realization dawning on your face like the sun and stretching your features. “There are laws—” He begins, but your reaction is not the one he anticipated you would have to that information.

Too overwhelmed, you can’t respond with anything other than physical actions, no matter how unreasonable, and you press your dry lips to his soft ones, sealing your fate. Standing there, with beams of golden light infiltrating the space and illuminating your unsteady figures, Jeno is petrified not by your kiss, but by the fact that he doesn’t push you away, and his hands hold onto yours even tighter than before. Nothing has ever felt so right in his entire life. Not when he was in Heaven, and not in all the years he’s spent on Earth, either.

You’re his Heaven, this moment is his eternity. Jeno has endured enough temptation, the undeniable thrill that a deliberate sin promises has become too much for him. If he pulls away now, everything would still be okay, you could both go back to normal and pretend this never happened. But alas, he was doomed to kiss you back from the beginning, and so he does, and you have no idea what the universe has in store when you feel his lips finally respond to yours in the most unholy way possible. For the first and last time, you indulge in each other’s touch and taste, and it does not please the ones watching from above.

The third and final sin, one sin too many for him to remain in this world without consequence.

Several things happen all at once. A clap of thunder sounds overhead, though there are no clouds in sight. Jeno is painfully ripped from your grasp and thrown out of the gazebo by some invisible force of nature, into the grass and dirt on the forest floor.

And inside of you, a piece of your soul is torn from your being, bile rising up in your throat as you comprehend the excruciating sensation that racks your body with pained whimpers.

Stumbling to his feet, Jeno heaves, hunched over and close to tears. Suppressing the agony you still feel, you hurry over to him only for the boy to charge away, heading back towards the open meadow. With a broken shout of his name, you follow.

You didn’t notice before, but now the blinding light reveals the condition he’s in. He looks almost normal, but the edges of his form are becoming fainter by the minute, blurring with the rest of the world around him. He’s fading away before your eyes, and it’s all your fault.

It’s a torturous experience, watching him slowly meld with the emptiness of the air. Making him disappear into thin air in an instant would have been an act of mercy, a mercy that’s apparently beyond the capabilities of the spectators in the sky.

Struggling to maintain your composure, you force a question out. “What’s happening?” You ask, though you know he doesn’t have an answer himself.

He’s obviously panicked, though he tries not to show it. “I... I don’t know, I knew that it was forbidden for us to fall in love but I didn’t think I’d be robbed of my existence like this...”

“What?! No, Jeno, please don’t go...” You beg the gods and angels above, if any exist. You don’t know anymore.

If there is a God, how can he be good if he’s taking Jeno away from you like this, depriving you of the one constant source of joy and comfort in your life?

It’s far too cruel to bestow such a kind and generous heart upon someone who isn’t allowed to love in the first place.

Even Jeno’s touch is faint, making you feel like he’s not there at all. You just barely detect the pads of his fingers smoothing over your cheeks, trying to stop the water spilling from your eyes. He smiles sadly, “Don’t cry for me. I’m not worth the tears.”

“You’re everything to me, Jeno. You’re worth every drop.”

“Remember me like this, okay? By the creek,” he gestures to the turbulent waters a short distance away. Walking slowly, he begins to take steps in its direction, but as he speeds up you’re no longer able to match his pace. “Jeno, turn around...”

Glancing back at you for the final time, he whispers a goodbye that the breeze carries away with it, the sound something only the two of you would hear, one that could never be replicated.

“Goddamnit, Jeno, don’t you dare leave me!” But you know you can’t hold on, you’re not strong enough. A greater force wants you two apart, unable to be overpowered by one human, a relatively insignificant being in the grand scheme of the universe. He vanishes completely.

You fall to your knees, the pain from the pebbles digging into your legs and feet underneath the surface of the creek numbed by your sorrow. The water drenches your clothes, splashing up onto your skin and becoming one with your relentless tears. You’re left all alone, with only the cattails to keep you company. You wish the waves would just swallow you whole so you don’t have to feel this suffocating isolation.

In an unnecessarily harsh trick of the light combined with the dancing shadows generated by the water, you swear that you see Jeno again for a second, sitting on the riverbank like always. You sob louder.

It takes forever for you to find the strength to stand up again, water running over your soaked shoes and threatening to topple you over. You wouldn’t mind if it succeeds.

Inconsolable even to your closest friends and family, you reluctantly return to the village, unwilling to leave behind what you’ve just been through and unable to explain just why you’re crying so hard. Maybe if you stay there forever, spending each day and night waiting among the reeds and the flowers and the grass, he’ll come back someday, but no. He’ll never return, but you simply can’t bring yourself to accept this fact.

You’re never quite the same after that. Part of the curse that haunts you for the rest of your life is this: no matter how hard you try to retain your memories, you’re destined to forget Jeno eventually, leaving vast gaps in your brain when it comes to the years of your youth.

You’re left with only a feeling of inexplicable nostalgia at the sight of the meadow and the creek running through it, the waters still as violent as they were on the day you lost him.

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scarofthewind · 4 years ago

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Bughuul x Reader || Part (V)

A/N: Hello, I am so sorry that I forgot about this series, but here is the last part! It is very long and I also loved looking deeper into the deity himself! Very interesting!!! This will contain NSFW and content made for 18+. Enjoy!

It was very cold when you woke up; as cold as it would get for someone who was dead. You could hear a small chatter next to you and you turned your head to see Milo and Ashley talking to one another. Your eyes caught Ashely’s and she smiled.

“You’re awake!” She smiled and darted over to the bed you were laying on, grabbing your hand in hers. “Milo go-”

“On it.” He said with a sarcastic salute. “Welcome to the other side, (Y/N).” He bowed and left the room without another word.

You looked back to Ashley who was already talking your ear off; you lifted your arms trying to push yourself up but she urged you not to. “He’ll be here soon, so just stay put okay?”

“My brother?”

“He’s out collecting with a few others. Bughuul chose him this time; said that I needed to stay by your side in case you woke up.” She beamed.

With a nod, you opened your mouth but closed it when the bedroom doors opened wide and Ashley disappeared. The cold air that used to be hard to breathe in when he was around was light and warm almost when he entered. The doors closed behind him and a few candles lit up around the room. You examined it then, it was much nicer than you expected. The high ceilings with black walls and black furniture made it look vast and empty. The white marble floors and white silk sheets added a brighter perspective to the room.

“I didn’t think the dead sleep.” You said, allowing him to help you sit up.

“We usually don’t, we just have rooms to keep ourselves busy.” He responded. There was no static or negative feedback in your head- everything was smooth. “How are you feeling?” He asked, gently stroking your face.

“I feel light. Like I don’t weigh a thing. I am cold though.” You felt a shiver run up your spine as you spoke.

Bughuul chuckled, “That goes away after a couple of days.” He moved to sit in the chair next to the bed, the window behind him giving you a glimpse of a red aura as the curtains moved. “You must have questions?”

“Where exactly are we? Why is it so fancy in here? What does this mean? What are we?” You spat out all at once. You stared at Bughuul as he tilted his head at you.

“Is that it?” He asked.

“Can I have kids?” You blushed at your question, watching as Bughuul loosened his tie.

“I am going to answer these for you the best I can, in order. We are in my realm of hell. I have my own territory of sorts. It means that your soul, or what you are now, is all that you are, there is no more human you because it does not exist anymore.” He cleared his throat and continued, “What we are is up to you. I am something very complicated for the human mind to understand and therefore you may leave if you would like. If you choose to then you can wander hell until you find someone else you’d rather be with.”

You nodded, looking down at your hands as they shook, “Yes you can have kids. However, they are not like those of a living creatures. They grow faster and die slower once they hit their prime.”

“When you say that you are something complicated...what do you mean?” You looked at him and found that his expressions seemed a bit tightened. “I want to know everything about you before we finish this and I am bound to you for eternity.”

With a nod, Bughuul ran a hand through his hair and shrugged off his black coat, throwing it over the side of the chair. He sighed, “I am a pagan Babylonian deity that has been around hundreds of years. As I have stated, I posses this realm of my own- a certain hell of you will, no one can enter or leave without my permission.” He stood, walking over to the window and pulling back the curtains a bit, the sky was grey like a storm was about to hit. You had a feeling that it looked like this all the time. “I have a brother, whom I no longer see nor talk to. He stays in his place and I stay in mine.”

“What happened between you and your brother?” You asked. Bughuul stiffened in his spot and he let the curtains fall back to their place.

“He, in a fit of rage, shut my mouth with ash.” The air for a second grew cold enough for you to shiver. “Permanently.” You focused on your hands again, taking in everything you’d learned.

“I’m sure you’ll think of other things later.” Bughuul said aloud and you nodded. He turned to face you and you met his gaze. “Do not fear. I don’t intend to bed you just yet.” You blushed and he chuckled as he left the room to let you think things through.

You were awoken by the feeling of your hair being played with. Opening your eyes, you blinked away the darkness to find Ashley sitting next to you. “You fell asleep again.” She said as you sat up.

“We don’t eat do we?” You asked and Ashely shook her head. “That’s a shame because ice cream sounds good.” You smiles and she did too.

“Can I tell you something?” She asked you, becoming serious. You frowned but nodded and she took in a deep breath, “I really want you to become my mom, or as close to one as you can be.”

“Ashley, I already think of you as my family. Especially now.” You smiled at her and she brightened, throwing her arms around you and pressing her cheek to yours.

You looked over when you heard a voice clear their throat and saw Milo and your brother. “Want to check the place out?” Milo asked and you nodded, letting go of Ashley and climbing out of bed. That’s when you realized you were wearing a white silk night down that went just past your knees. “You look fine. We’re all dead anyways, we don’t necessarily look our best.” Milo commented and you gave him a look but let them lead you out of the room.

Ashely practically dragged you to her room as soon as you set foot into the hallway. The amount of drawings that covered the walls made your heart swell. Some were beautiful- then there were others that weren’t. Those you looked away from. “When he doesn't need me for collecting I like to draw.” She smiled at you, showing you a notebook full of her art.

“It’s beautiful.” You replied and she smiled, going back to work on one of her wall pieces.

“C’mon, I’ll show you the rest.” Milo said from behind you and you turned to walk out of Ashely’s room.

The hallway was cold and dark, but comforting. “How are you feeling? I see you haven’t signed the contract just yet.” Milo joked, referring to your white nightgown, the sign of the pure yet to be tainted by evil. “The others were quicker. Guess you like to take your time, huh?”

You froze and you felt your stomach drop. “Others?” Milo stopped walking and looked at you, wide-eyed. “Oh, right.” Of course you knew you couldn’t have been the first one. Bughuul had been around for many years, why would you be the first. “What happened to them?”

“They broke their pact with me.” Bughuul’s voice was loud in your head and you turned around in the hall to face him. Milo was gone.

“Meaning?”

“I made them cease to exist.” He stood before you, with his hands at his sides.

“Like Zach?” You asked and he nodded.

“But worry not, I have a feeling that you wouldn’t try to leave.” He tilted his head for a moment, looking at you better and you nodded. He hummed to himself in confirmation and held a hand out, “Come. We must prepare for the final task.”

You slipped your hand in his and let him guide you back to the bedroom. The double door opened as you approached them and you entered, Bughuul following. “I will have you bathe. By the time you are done, dinner will be ready.”

“Dinner? I thought we couldn’t eat.” Bughuul chuckled.

“Not human food.” He said and you felt a chill run down your spine. His hands pushed you towards the bathroom where a beautiful tub sat waiting. “When you’re done, come to the dining room. I’ll have Milo accompany you.” You nodded and watched him leave before removing your clothes and stepping into the warm water.

Dinner was souls. Literal human souls. They were glowing orbs that ranged in different colors depending on what the person was like. You received a white, near blinding one and Bughuul’s was black. It was complicated to eat at first but you managed.

Your nerves were all over the place the walk back to the bedroom. Fingers playing with the sides of your clean nightgown, the same white silk as before. “You would be calmer if you trusted me.”

“I do trust you.” You said, entering the bedroom and seeing the candles that were lit everywhere. “It’s just been a while.” The door shut behind you and you could feel his presence take over your senses. His hands fell on your shoulders and they turned you around to face him. There, they cupped you’re face, making you look at him.

“I will take care of you. I won’t do anything you don’t like or want.” His voice was soothing and calm as he moved the hair from your face. As if in a trance, you raised a hand to his face, tracing the spot where his mouth would be. “It upsets you?”

You didn’t know how to respond. You wished you could feel his lips on yours and your body, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Blinking, you realized he had pressed you against the bed, letting you fall back against the soft sheets.

“You’re going to be in a world of pleasure, my dear.” His voice deepened and you shivered. Taking his jacket off and slipping his tie over his head, he moved to hover over you. His hands touched your legs, pulling you closer and pushing your nightgown up. Taking in a deep breath, he slowly moved the nightgown above your bellybutton, his vision going to the underwear that adorned your body. His fingers traced circles on the inside of your thighs, moving closer until he pressed the pads of them to your clit.

A million emotions exploded in your head; everything suddenly became hot. The air, his skin touching yours. How the rest of his clothes and yours came off was a blur and you weren’t sure what was even happening anymore. He was touching you so gently you thought you were melting. His fingers toyed with your pussy, stroking the entrance lightly and then sliding a finger inside you. A soft moan escaped your lips as he caressed your body, sliding his finger in and out of you.

“You don’t have to be so gentle.” You commented, his cock twitching at the sound of your voice.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He warned, pausing his actions of near body worship.

“You won’t.” You assured him, pulling his face closer to yours and bending your legs for him to move between them. “I want this more than anything.” You breathed feeling his finger retract from your cunt.

“Good to know you feel the same.” He chuckled, pressing his forehead against yours and taking your hands in his. He felt the tip of his cock brush against your clit and you nearly cried out. He was amused at your reaction as he slid himself into you.

He didn’t move a muscle as he let you get used to the feeling; he was larger than anything you’d had before. He propped himself up and brushed some hair from your face. “Are you okay, (Y/N)?”

You nodded, kissing over the spot where his mouth would be. “Keep going.” You told him, hearing him let out a growl before he moved.

Your hands were in his hair, his were finding new places to squeeze. He lifted your thighs and pulled them around his waist before his fingers moved to fondle your breasts. “You’re beautiful.” He commented, watching your face as you had your first orgasm of the night. “So beautiful.” He grunted as he sped up the pace.

The fire that was lit between you was hot and burned with such a heat you thought you’d faint. It felt like forever before you nearly tapped out, having come at least four times. “Bear with me, my love.” Bughuul commented, feeling himself grow closer to the edge.

“I can’t...anymore...” You panted, your thighs shaking violently as he continued to thrust into you. You felt his hands grab your leg, lifting it up and over his shoulder. The sound of skin slapping against skin and your loud moans set him off. He came deep inside you with his mouth pressed against yours. Your legs cramped for a moment and you whined in pain as he pulled out.

He left soothing touches on your legs to try to ease their quivering. He picked you up and slid you under the covers, he’d wash them tomorrow. “How are you feeling?” He asked watching as you wiped the pleasure tears from your eyes.

“Sore.” You commented, turning on your side to face him. “It’s sealed? Our bond is complete?” You asked, moving some hair from his face.

“Indeed it is.” He pulled you closer and let you drift off in his arms. You were finally his at last and both of you couldn’t be happier.

#bughuul #sinister #bughuul x reader #horror imagines #horror x reader #🏵.original work #😈.smut

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onyourmemory-ha · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter One

little changes can pave lanes

Auggie broadens their horizons and meets their best friend’s girl.

The seats are crammed together, packing everyone in like sardines. The sweat and general body odor seem to go along with the disgustingly fishy trend. All of that Auggie could forgive but the hollering child was where they drew the line. The demon spawn pounded its fist against the back of some poor unfortunate soul’s seat and yelled about wanting to go play.

The sole reason they don’t join in and match the child’s volume is because of Trish, the woman keeping a firm hold on their hand as if reading their thoughts. And considering the type of woman she was, they really wouldn’t put it past her if that really were the case. As it is, it helps ground them and not lose it on a literal child.

“I thought your dick of an ex was rich now,” They grumble lowly, debating if they should give in to the desire of banging their head against the headrest.

“He is,” Trish tries to hide her amusement, hiding her grin behind her drink as she pushes further. “Why would you think otherwise?”

Snorting, Auggie gestures to the hell hole they’ve been forced into. “The bastard skimped out on getting the good seats. But it’s good to know Dick is just the same.”

“We’re just lucky to have found tickets at such short notice,” She gently squeezes their hand with a wordless scolding and it’s enough to have Auggie’s frown deepening.

Flushing, they look to the cloudy sky. It’s a cruel reminder, being indebted to someone like Ken of all people. Instead, they choose to focus on the reasoning behind it, easily shifting the blame onto the person who’s truly at fault. “I’m gonna beat your son’s ass when we see him, fair warning.”

And Trish, the traitor, just laughs to herself. “I love you, honey. But I don’t think you’d like who the winner was in something like that.”

“Oh, I know,” Auggie just shrugs. “But I’d get a few good hits in there and that’s all I need to ruin his day.”

This just has Trish laughing even more though she clearly tries to fight it. When Auggie snorts as a result, she lightly slaps their knee, and they both tune back into the movie playing overhead. And when Trish begins to tear up at the lovers reuniting on-screen, Auggie just squeezes her hand tighter and doesn’t mention it.

ㅤ⠀ |♛|

It’s barely even noticeable, hidden beneath postering and a surprisingly fragile smile. If it hadn’t been for the years of knowing him or the sudden edge in Trish’s eyes, Auggie might have not even picked up on it. But they did and therein lies the issue.

The thing about Hardin was that he was similar to a horse. Big and intimidating but one good blow will end him for a long time. And so easily spooked on top of it. He wasn’t the type to confront, not when he was trying so hard to hide it like he was. They already knew how that would play out and it wouldn’t be pretty.

So, they did the only thing they really could do. They waited. Hardin wasn’t exactly someone subtle nor was he someone who bottled everything well. He was the explosive sort and that meant all Auggie needed to do was wait. Preferably without pushing him to that breaking point themselves but if they needed to, they would.

“Look at you!” Trish beams, holding his face gently. “How’ve you been, love?”

He places his hands over hers, his smile growing stronger. “Better now that you’re here. Was the flight okay?”

“Oh, it was fi—,” Trish goes to assure but they cut her off there, a screaming child flashing beneath their eyelids.

“It was absolute shit,” They announce with a proud grin. “I expect compensation, just so you know.”

Trish just shakes her head, pressing a kiss against her son’s forehead before pulling away. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was but you can pretend otherwise,” Auggie corrects, rocking on their heels.

He just snickers, shaking his head as he grabs Trish’s bags. “It wasn’t too bad if you’re still in high spirits.”

He walks forward without a warning, leaving the two of them to catch up. And Auggie does just that, their own bag thumping against their thigh with each step. “Of course I’m in high spirits now! I get to see my favorite white boy named Allen!”

He stops, just for a moment, and levels them a fierce glare from over his shoulder. “I’m sure they could always arrange a flight back home for you by tonight.”

“Or I could just go on with you two,” They beam, eyes wide and ready to play the innocent card.

Trish huffs at them both, her smile betraying the notion as she gestures them to hurry up. “If you two don’t play nice, I’ll ground you both!”

That has Hardin laughing, the shadows being chased away for the moment and it’s a small victory that Auggie soaks in. They walk with a purpose after that, Auggie shuffling after the mother and son duo with a smile that feels more real than any other one has in months.

ㅤ⠀ |♛|

The apartment isn’t the cleanest of places but Auggie can still tell how nice it is under it all. They wonder whether or not it was another attempt on Hardin’s sperm donor to win him over and how successful it actually was considering he accepted it. The only thing out of place, besides the strewn-about clothes, is the light that streams in through the large, modern windows. It feels like the darkness should be trapped inside by thick curtains, not released to the light. They can’t help but think that maybe that was exactly the case before Hardin left to pick them up.

“Well, here we are,” He announces with little enthusiasm. “Go ahead and get comfortable.”

“Ooh, might as well draw me a bath in that case,” Auggie teases lightly before seriously considering it themselves. The warm water really would be nice right about now. “We can make it like old times and you can join me.”

“No thanks,” He snorts, dropping the suitcases in front of what they assume is the guest room. “One almost drowning was enough for me.”

“So boring,” They tsk, flopping on the couch as Trish rolls her eyes at the pair of them.

That’s when the newcomer makes themselves known, slinking out of the bedroom with a heated glare and her hands on her hips. The first thing Auggie notices is how pretty she is. It’s the type of prettiness that can be weaponized, the kind of features that were found on the faces of the popular kids back in high school. Her blonde hair pulls upon that cliche even more, cascading over her shoulders in a gentleness thats betrayed by the poison pooling behind her teeth. And it’s with a sinking feeling that Auggie realizes who this is at the same time that Trish does.

“You must be Tessa!” She exclaims after a pause, striding across the room and pulling the other girl into a hug. “Oh, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you ever since Hardin mentioned you!”

And that is very true. When they’d discovered Tessa couldn’t make it, leading to Hardin canceling as well, the woman had almost been heartbroken. That alone would have been enough for Auggie to be on guard around her. But the already set glare and the way Hardin seemed to shrink in on himself yet attuned everything to her, that did it. So Auggie stayed where they were seated, not bothering to stand up to greet the girl that their entire body seemed to rebel against.

“Oh, I thought…” She trails off, flushing with a sheepish smile. Her eyes though, they remain sharp. “It’s so good to meet you! I was just going, though.”

“No, you can’t just go now! Please stay! At least for dinner!” Trish pleads, the desperation matched in her son’s eyes.

“I mean, I told my mom I’d be there by dark…” She trails off, guiltily looking towards the door.

“Surely it wouldn’t hurt another night. It’ll be safer to drive in the morning anyways,” Trish reasons and they don’t miss the way Hardin’s eyes begin to brighten at the prospect of her staying.

It seems to be enough to convince the girl though and she gives a weary smile as her decision is made up. “I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

And for some reason, Auggie highly doubts it, but they keep their mouth closed for now. Although, they do throw their head against the back of the couch and let out a big sigh. “Is that bath still an option?”

ㅤ⠀ |♛|

They end up ordering in food, the empty cabinets and fridge having given Hardin pause in his plans. And pause in conversations as well, it seems. Trish makes an effort, asking simple little questions to get to know the girl her son has become infatuated with, for some reason, while Hardin sits there staring at his plate like it spit in his face. Tessa, for her part, answers as politely as she can with a well timed smile.

The fakeness is stiffening and they all know it. Or at least, Auggie hopes they aren’t the only one picking it up. By Hardin’s awkward gazes between the blondes, they think they aren’t. So when Auggie is finally brought up, they’re pulled out of their overanalyzing thoughts about Hardin, the apartment, and the awkwardness. “What?”

“I was just saying how you and Hardin met,” Trish beams like the proud mother she is. “They’ve been with us through so much.”

“I had no idea,” Tessa enunciated slowly with an indescribable look leveled at their way. “Hardin’s never mentioned anyone other than his mother.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Auggie shrugs, trying to shake the edge in their voice before it's noticed. “Hardin always has been a private person. Plus he’s always been a momma’s boy.”

Tessa nods, glancing to her boyfriend before focusing back on the odd creature that Auggie must look like in their perfect apartment. “So what is it you do back in London?”

“Wiltshire,” They correct.

“What?” She frowns, sitting back in her seat with a deepening frown.

For some reason, Auggie finds relief in that. “It's outside of London. That’s where we’re from. But I mainly just help look after Mum and work down at the convenient store. Hoping to broaden my horizons soon and all that.”

“Oh,” Tessa trails off, looking towards Trish now like she’d somehow done something. “So you and Trish are close too?”

“Of course,” Trish answers with no hesitation, missing the way the girl’s smile tightens. “I practically raised this one and when Hardin moved away for uni, this sweet thing stepped up and moved in with me.”

“I’m basically the favorite child,” They grin ear to ear, nudging Hardin with their foot. “Isn’t that right?”

He, finally, stops staring after Tessa like a lost puppy and scoffs. “She only tells you to keep the peace in the house.”

That’s what Auggie considers a good opening, especially for what they’ve been meaning to discuss, and there’s nothing like biting the bullet head on. “About that.”

He turns his entire focus to them and almost looks scared. “What? What’s happening?”

Trish picks up on it immediately and sets down her drink softly. “Before you say anything, know that this was something I pushed.”

“Just spit it out already,” He snaps, hackles seeming to rise.

Auggie takes a deep breath. “Remember them broadening horizons? Well, I think it's time I actually do that and I’ve been talking with the Dick…”

“Ken? Why the fuck have you been talking with my Dad?” Hardin exclaims, eyes narrowing between them and his mother.

“I wanna go back to school and the only way I could afford that is if I had some help or knew someone. I ended up having both.” Auggie further explains gently.

It finally clicks in his head and his guards fall at once, his eyes widening. “You’re going to attend Washington?”

“If I can get a place to stay at,” Auggie slowly explains, clearing their throat. “I might need a place to stay while I get everything in order, though.”

“And it would be very generous and kind if you were to help Auggie out with this,” Trish adds on, eyes narrowed as if daring him to deny them this help.

Hardin just rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair now that he knew what the conversation was about. “Don’t be stupid. Auggie can have the spare bedroom once you leave,” Then he pauses, looking towards Tessa. “If that’s alright with you.”

If it weren’t for her white knuckles around her fork, her easy expression would have fooled Auggie. She even smiles sweetly and nods. “It’s your place too. Of course they can stay for a little bit.”

“Then that’s perfect,” Auggie claps. “I packed all that I could and once Trish gets back, she can ship me my things!”

Tessa nods, her knuckles whitening and her smile stretching almost uncomfortably. “Mhmm, perfect.”

#after movie #tessa young #hardin scott #hardin x reader #chapter 1 #on your memory #fanfic #after fanfiction #hardin scott fanfic #tessa young is the worst #august sanderson #fanfiction #new chapter #fan writing #after we collided [2020]#Hardin Scott x oc #hardin scott x reader

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deans-baby-momma · 4 years ago

Text

Wounded Hearts 2

Summary: When John Winchester leaves his two high school-aged sons in a motel in Fairfax, IN while he goes off on a hunt, they both make friends. What happens after they have to suddenly leave when John comes to fetch them. Will those friendships endure? Does Dean leave a piece of his soul behind?

Word Count: 3,408

A/N: This is a sequel to Past Haunts, but it’s mostly what happened in the thirteen years between high school and when Sam and Dean return to take care of a haunting in their old stomping grounds of Truman High. The first couple of chapters will be mainly Dean’s POV and then after that, each chapter will switch from Dean’s POV to Rebecca’s POV. I will label them appropriately.

Rebecca’s POV

The walk home is kind of uncomfortable. My crotch is sensitive and tender and these jeans are not helping at all. I think over what just happened. I just gave my virginity to Dean Winchester. The boy who came out of nowhere and walked the school halls like he owned the place. I briefly thought about how just last week he was all about Amanda Heckling, the popular girl, the head cheerleader. Had he fucked her too? They had seemed hot and heavy for a minute but then, just as quickly as he showed up, they were over and he was proclaiming to the halls that he was a hero. Had he taken Amanda's virginity too?

I shake my head and huff a laugh. No way was Amanda Heckerling a virgin. Not since freshman year at least. She had been caught with her pants down, literally, with Justin Scott in her bedroom. So, no Dean definitely hadn't taken Amanda's innocence.

As soon as I get home I rush to the bedroom to change out of my- now damp from the remnants of what had transpired between me and Dean- panties. Thankfully it's just my cum filling my underwear; Dean had wrapped it up before he fucked me.

I change quickly, wadding my ruined panties into a ball and stuffing them to the bottom of the hamper. My mom yells that dinner is ready and I pause, taking a breath and praying that neither she nor dad can sense the change in me. I'm no longer their innocent little girl but a woman, an adult capable of safely fornicating.

I can feel their stares, hear their whispers as I walk to my locker. Does everyone know? Are all my classmates aware that I am no longer pure and virginal Rebecca Quentin. Do they know that I oh so easily gave it up to Dean Winchester? Or am I just imagining it all?

I grab my books and sign in then take my regular seat in Mrs. Meadows' English Lit class. My heart is pounding in my ears, knowing that shortly Dean would walk through the door. Would he sit beside me, like he did Amanda? Would he ask me to be his girlfriend? I mean, we've already done the deed so that's the next step, right? Ok, so our steps are a little misconstrued but so what?

I hear him before I see him, his heavy army-style boots stomping down the hallway. As soon as he enters the room, my breath catches in my throat. I'd always thought Dean was good-looking but now? Damn is he sexy as hell! I can't help but turn away to hide the blush on my face as I remember his touch and how it felt to have him inside me. My heart drops as he passes by the empty desk beside me to take his seat at the back of the room. Dammit, maybe it wasn't as special to him as it had been to me. Maybe he was used to defiling girls and then acting as if they didn't exist. As Mrs. Meadows calls for attention I vow to confront him at lunch. Hopefully we can have a quiet discussion and not cause a scene.

By the time the bell rings for lunch, I am a nervous wreck. The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to address the obvious elephant in the school. Dean Winchester conned his way into my pants; pretending to be a gentleman and noble when in all reality he was a fraud, a hustler. Watching him with his little brother yesterday, how he had made sure Sam was well-fed and taken care of had to have been a ruse! Just a way to get me to let my guard down and then he struck when that window of opportunity opened; like a snake, a conniving devious snake.

Deciding I can't civilly accost Dean, I make my way to the vending machines. I'll just go to the motel after school and talk to him then. I just hope he hasn't duped his next victim there. That's what I feel like; a victim, a casualty of the trickster that is Dean Winchester. I scan the lunchroom as I enter but see no sign of Dean or his brother Sam. I sigh in relief as I don't think I could handle being ignored again. I sit at a table in the corner and open my bags of chips.

The rest of my classes were dull and lackluster. I just couldn't concentrate on anything any of my teachers were saying. The concept that Dean was ignoring and avoiding me was breaking me, was breaking my heart and soul. I wanted to know why. Why did he choose me? Why did he have to defile what could have been an incredible friendship? Maybe even a wonderful and dare I say loving relationship. Did getting the privilege of saying he slept with me mean more to him than that? The more I thought about it, the angrier I got until I had furiously scribbled a hole into the paper on my desk. I was going to that motel after school and finding out!

When the last bell sounds, I gather my books and head to my locker. I look morosely at locker #214, the one Dean had been assigned. It was only a few down from mine. I hadn't seen him all day; not since he so openly ignored me during first period. It is painfully obvious he was avoiding me. Well I am going to put a stop to that. I march out of the building and head down the same path we had walked yesterday, straight to the place it all went downhill, room 7 at the Motel Monroe.

A few hours later

I knock on the door and wait. And the longer I wait, the more upset I get. How dare Dean ignore and avoid me and act like I don't exist in his world. Yesterday, he acted as if he made me believe he was interested in being my friend, if not more and today I'm nobody?

I'm not a nobody. I get perfect grades and in less than a year I will be moving away, going to college and in a few short years graduate with a master's in psychology and on my way to becoming one of the best behavioral counselors in the country. I have plans and dreams; I'm not just some girl to pass the time with.

After a few minutes and another knock, there is still no answer. I step to the window to see inside but the curtain is closed tight. 'Oh no you don't, Dean Winchester,' I think silently. 'You are not hiding from me. We are going to hash this out like adults.' I walked toward the manager's office to find out if there is a way to get him to open the door. Instead I find devastating news when the manager tells me, "They cleared out about 3 hours ago."

I walk away from the motel, the place I lost my virginity in with tears threatening to roll down my face. Will I ever see him again?

Eight weeks later

Time is a fickle thing. Some days it seems to rush by while others it seems to just stand still and turn stagnant.

After finding out that the Winchesters had left town, I turned my attention back to my studies. I only had a few more months until I'd be graduating high school and moving on to bigger, brighter things.

Thanksgiving had come and gone and now we are all hurtling toward Christmas and the almost two weeks off from school. The whole school is abuzz with excitement and enthusiasm for the break. Me? I am just going through the motions. I had gotten ill a few days ago, puking my guts up and just feeling horrible. Whatever it is, I wish it would just run its course already. I am tired of feeling weak and feeble.

Today is the school's last day before Christmas break and I was just looking forward to being able to lay around and let the flu or pneumonia or whatever gets its claws into me. Something grabs my attention and I look at the calendar hanging beside my desk. A big old red circle is around the 4th, the day I should've started my period. I grab the calendar and turn it back to November and see another big red circle. Two months. Two missed periods. And I know that they are missed because every time I start I always draw a line through the circle and these two circles have no lines. What the hell? I try to remember having my period in November but I am coming up blank. The last period I remember was in October, the first part of October. I remember because it was right after my Mom's birthday. I turn the page and yep, October 5th has a circle with a line through it. So why didn't I mark through November's and December's? I scan through the month of October and my eyes land on the 14th.

The day I spent with the Winchesters, the day I lost my virginity to Dean, the day that…..oh fuck. Oh god no!

At school, I can’t concentrate on anything. My calculus teacher calls on me and I don’t hear her. The words ‘I’m pregnant’ keep repeating over and over in my head. I can’t be pregnant. I only had sex once. But once is all it takes, I tell myself.

I get through the rest of the day, barely, and by the time the last bell rings I am a nervous wreck. I know what I need to do. I have to go to the pharmacy and buy a test. But everyone knows everyone in this town and I know old Mrs. Wilson will tell my parents that she sold me a pregnancy test.

Walking into the drugstore I am praying and hoping that Mrs. Wilson possibly has the day off and someone else is working her shift but no such luck. As soon as I walk in she sees me and smiles. I return the smile and walk down the farthest aisle from the one I need. As I trek slowly through the store, pretending that I am looking at different things, I come up with a plan. I’ll just take one off the shelves and ask to use the bathroom.

When I get to the correct aisle I feel overwhelmed. There are so many! Different brands, different processes. I find one that looks easy enough; what is more easier than just peeing on a stick? Stuffing the box in my bag, I head toward the front of the store, grabbing a package of maxi pads on my way.

“Hello Rebecca,” Mrs. Wilson greets me. “How are you today?”

“Hi Mrs. Wilson. I’m good. Listen, is there anyway I can, uh...use the facilities here?” I ask as I show her the maxi pads. She nods in understanding and points me toward the bathroom.

I quickly shut and lock the door and lean against it, taking a breath. ‘Come on Rebecca. You can do this.’ I think to myself. ‘It might even be negative. Could be something completely different wrong with me.’

I pull the box out of my bag and step toward the toilet. I know I don’t have that much time before Mrs. Wilson comes to check on me. Pulling the test out of the box, I quickly read the directions.

1. Pee on stick

2. Wait 5 minutes.

3. Two lines means pregnant; one line means not pregnant.

Ok simple enough. I do as instructed and place the stick on the sink. This is going to be the longest five minutes in history!

How can something so inconsequential as a piece of plastic change your whole life? Plastic is nothing but synthetic polymers that can be molded into whatever is needed. In this instance, this piece of plastic was sculpted into a thin white stick with a window on the end. And in that window was life-altering news. Two pink lines.

I stare at the test for what seemed like forever. I’m pregnant. I am only a few months away from turning 18, graduating high school and going off to college. Yet, here I am carrying Dean Winchester’s illegitimate child. I place my hand on my still flat stomach and look in the mirror. “I’m pregnant,” I whisper to my reflection. I didn’t even realize I am crying until I see the tears streaming down my face.

Hearing Mrs. Wilson heading my way, I hurry and wipe my face clean and pick up the positive test, sticking it in my pocket. I open the package of pads and take one out and cram the unused one into the bottom of the trash can. At least, that way it will look like I used one and not raise any suspicions with the old busybody.

After paying for the one item I won’t be needing for a while, I leave the store and head home. How am I going to tell my parents that I’m pregnant? Of course they're going to want to know everything. Well, maybe not everything. They know how babies are made, they have me after all. But they are going to ask a million questions. Who’s the father? Where is he now? Does he know? Is he going to be a man and step up? I only know the answer to one of those. Dean Winchester is the father. That’s all I know. He used me and then up and disappeared the very next day.

I get home and am relieved that both my parents aren’t home yet. I have a few more minutes to come to terms with the fact of my situation myself. I run upstairs to my room and fall onto my bed, burying my face in the pillow. While I am alone, I decide to go ahead and get it out. The anger, the frustration, the heartache.

I am 17 years old, a senior in high school and pregnant by a boy who split in no time afterwards. The tears come instantaneously. How am I going to be able to fulfill my dream of going to college and becoming a psychologist? I can’t be raising a kid while going through years of study at Harvard to get my bachelor’s plus an internship. By the time I’d be done with all that my child is going to be at least 10 years old.

Damn him! Damn him and his boyish charms and his mesmerizing green eyes and his sexy as hell body.

“Damn you Dean Winchester! I hate you. I wish I’d never met you,” I scream into the fluffy cushion. “I hope wherever you are that your dick falls off and you can’t do this to some other poor girl!”

Fuck, is all I can think. How many girls had he done this to? How many illegitimate babies did he have? He had said his family traveled a lot so there were probably girls all over who were pregnant or had bared his offspring.

"Fuck," I sigh. "If I get an STD because of him I'll hunt him down and kill him," I growled. I begin punching the pillow, pretending it is Dean’s face. I can’t believe him. How dare he take advantage of me like that!

But then I realize, he didn’t take advantage; I clearly gave him exactly what he wanted. ‘Dumbass! I am such a dumbass. I walked right into his trap and didn’t even understand what I was getting into. I was so dumbfounded and surprised that he wanted to talk to and hang out with me that I just followed him along like a lost puppy. And then I gave him the one thing that I could never get back. All because of a few words and some attention. How much of an idiot am I?’

Shaking my head at my stupidity I head to the bathroom to clean off my face and get prepared to confess to my parents. They are going to be so disappointed in me. It’s going to break their hearts. I’ve been talking about going to Harvard and becoming a psychologist since I was in middle school and now that is just a pipe dream. It won’t ever come true now.

I don’t have much of an appetite so I just push my food around on my plate. I feel bad about it because Mom had rushed home from work and went straight to cooking and now my stomach is all twisted up and I can’t eat. It looks like they are about to be finished with their dinner so I decided no better time than the present.

“Mom? Dad?” I begin. “We need to talk.”

“What is it sweetie?” My dad says as he gets up to put his plate in the sink. “Did you get a C in class or something?” he turns back to the table with a jesting grin on his face. “You know you don’t have to be completely perfect in everything.”

Mom and Dad have been telling me for years that I was pushing myself too hard. That it doesn't matter to them if I get straight A’s or not as long as I don’t fail. But I wanted to prove to them, and myself, that I could. And so far I had; I am only a few credits shy of graduating high school with honors.

“Oh, I’m not perfect,” I tell him, looking down at my hands in my lap. “Far from it actually. I-uh-I have some not so good news. You might even call it upsetting news.”

My parents both look at me, perplexed. Mom speaks up first, “What is it Rebecca? Are you dying? Do you have cancer or something?”

Leave it up to Mom to think about a worse-case scenerio. Of course in her mind, the most distressing would be that I only had a few months to live. Which, in this case, it’s kinda true. A few more months and life as I know it is over.

I pull the positive pregnancy test out of my hoodie pocket and lay it in the middle of the table. Clear as day, anyone can see what it is. My dad suddenly sits down and puts his head in his hands and Mom…well, Mom stands up, looks at me with pity and walks out of the dining room. A few minutes later, I hear their bedroom door slam shut.

The commotion brings Dad out of his stupor and he looks up at me. “How did this happen, Rebecca?” I quirk an eyebrow at him at the absurdity of his question. “I mean, I know how it happened. When?”

“Back in October. I hung out with this guy and his little brother and we watched a movie and ate pizza and popcorn. After the movie was over, his brother wanted to go to the arcade and it left me and Dean in the room, alone. One thing just led to another.” I finish with a shrug of my shoulders.

And just like I assumed, Dad begins badgering me with questions. “Who is he? Does he know about the baby yet? Is he going to step up and take care of it and you?”

I sigh before I answer. “His name is Dean. Dean Winchester. No, he doesn’t know and probably never will. He and his brother were staying in the motel across town while their dad was working. He’s gone now. Left the day after. I don’t know how to get in touch with him.”

Dad and I sat there in silence after I told him about Dean and how he was no longer around. I can see the steps of processing Dad is going through on his face. At first he is angry, livid even. Then he is just mad. But what breaks my heart is when my dad looks at me and all I can see is disappointment.

I feel like such a failure. I failed my parents and myself the moment I allowed Dean to come into my life. The moment I had sex with him.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @deanwanddamons @supraveng @deandreamernp @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @markofdean79 @travelingriversideblues-x @akshi8278 @keymology @natura1phenomenon @drakelover78

#dean winchester #john winchester #sam winchester #wounded hearts #past haunts sequel #rebecca quentin #smut #fluff #angst #dean x becka #high school

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wordsablaze · 4 years ago

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I Love You Snow Much

Jaskier had never really experienced the snow when he was young but Eskel is more than happy to indulge him in somewhat childish winter adventures involving snowmen, selfies, and snuggles...

A/N: it snowed and i prompty turned that into jaskel fluff, as one does, for my last fic this year - partly inspired by ladyblanc_ru on ao3 x

“Two more minutes…” Jaskier mumbles sleepily.

He’d ended up staying awake long into ungodly hours of the night after being inspired for another song yesterday and although he doesn’t know exactly what time it is, he’s pretty sure it’s somewhere close to no-thanks-o’clock.

“Jas, you’re going to want to wake up for this,” Eskel whispers softly. Jaskier groans but knows that his favourite person in the whole wide world wouldn’t wake him up unless it was important so he grudgingly peels open his eyes, smiling softly when he does.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he mumbles as he sits up and wraps his arms around Eskel.

He doesn’t need to look at Eskel to know he’s blushing but to be fair, he couldn’t have looked at Eskel anyway because his attention is immediately caught by the window. Or rather, the view through the window. The perfectly white view of their street through the window.

Jaskier gasps, scrambling off the bed to push the curtains all the way aside, laughing when he confirms he’s not dreaming and it really had snowed overnight. After a moment of taking in the view of the usually average, now stunning road they live on, he turns back to Eskel to see the other man smiling in amusement.

“We have snow!” he declares rather obviously before turning back to the view.

Eskel makes his way over to the window and wraps his arms around Jaskier’s waist, resting his chin on Jaskier’s shoulder. “You’re not going outside before you eat something.”

Jaskier makes a face that Eskel only sees in his reflection. “Buzzkill.”

“And how are you going to perform this weekend if you catch a cold?” Eskel asks, placing a soft kiss on Jaskier’s neck that sends a warm shiver through him.

“I hate it when you go all logical on me, darling,” Jaskier complains, then swivels on the spot and raises an eyebrow. “Also, what do you mean by before I go outside? Aren’t you coming?”

Eskel shrugs. “I thought you’d go with your friends.”

Not for the first time, Jaskier wishes he could beat the insecurity inside his boyfriend with a stick. Or a sword. Or an axe. Or anything else that would kill it, really. He sighs dramatically before placing his hands on either side of Eskel’s face. “Like hell I’m going to enjoy the first snow we’ve had in years with anyone other than you.”

“Are you sure?” Eskel asks. It really has been years since they’ve had snow where they live and he would hate for Jaskier to give him the day when he has so many other people to spend it with, especially since Eskel had visited his family the year before, where there’d been so much snow they’d literally been snowed in.

Jaskier leans up and kisses him.

When he pulls back, he tilts his head to one side with a small smirk. “Do you need any more convincing or can we go find breakfast now?”

Eskel laughs, his eyes practically glowing even though they haven’t even gone outside and done anything fun yet. “Alright, fine. Don’t take too long polishing your nose or whatever.”

Jaskier splutters in mock outrage as Eskel makes his way to the kitchen, choosing to make toast because it’s the quickest option and he’s pretty sure Jaskier would murder him if he started properly cooking. He makes coffee as well, even though he’d argue that Jaskier may as well have caffeine in his very genes with the way he acts most of the time.

“Ooh, smells good!” Jaskier grins as he swings into the kitchen, sparing a brief moment to kiss Eskel again before starting on a piece of toast.

It doesn’t take them long to finish eating, after which Eskel throws the warmest coat he can find at Jaskier, raising his eyebrows as if daring him to complain that it’s not fashionable enough. He doesn’t, but he does stick his tongue out and pointedly slip on the weird, barely protective gloves he’d bought that allow for using a phone through the material.

“Don’t blame me if your fingers fall off,” Eskel grumbles as he pulls on his own, properly formed gloves.

Jaskier hums. “Yes okay, mother, can we go now?”

And so they do.

Jaskier slips his hands into Eskel’s as soon as they lock the door behind them and although Eskel can barely feel it through his gloves, he adores the feeling of Jaskier’s fingers entwined with his own. He doesn’t adore it quite as much when Jaskier keeps pulling him over to countless trees and flowers so he can take pictures of the snow on them because nature is beautiful and I am going to write so many songs about this, just you wait, but he can’t really bring himself to be annoyed, aside from when Jaskier thinks he’s being subtle and sneaks in some selfies.

Regardless, they make it to the park. Jaskier laughs as soon as they get there, squeezing Eskel’s hand in excitement. “We get to make the first footsteps!”

“After you,” Eskel says, not quite as bothered about such things.

Jaskier grins at him, letting go of his hand and practically sprinting over the grass until he reaches just past the middle of the park, where he collapses. For a moment, Eskel is filled with the awful fear that something’s gone wrong, but then Jaskier lifts an arm in the air and makes a peace sign because of course he does, the dramatic idiot that he is.

By the time Eskel reaches him, which is actually quite a while because he refuses to run and embarrass himself by slipping, he’s saying something into his camera. He grins up at Eskel when he arrives, pointing the phone at him. “...and look who it is, the gorgeous man himself! I love him snow much but he really took his sweet time getting over here as if I wasn’t eagerly waiting for him to hey-!”

Eskel rolls his eyes at the camera before ending the video, holding a hand out for Jaskier, who pouts before taking it, swinging himself up and into Eskel, almost knocking the two of them over.

“I thought you’d died,” Eskel teases.

Jaskier scoffs. “Do I look like someone who dies, darling?”

Eskel shrugs because he doesn’t really know what to say to that and Jaskier folds his arms. “Moving on because we are not allowed to ruin my snow day by talking about death. Now, go and find some snow!”

Unfortunately, Eskel is too busy regretting not having invited Jaskier over for Christmas the year before so he could have enjoyed all the snow there to realise he’s meant to be arming himself. He does notice when snow lands right in his ear though.

Cursing, he looks up to see Jaskier biting his lip, clearly torn between victory and concern. He chooses victory when Eskel sighs, blowing a kiss and going to pick up more snow. Eskel takes the chance to do the same, this time ready for when Jaskier throws another snowball, throwing back two at the same time and laughing when one catches the lower half of Jaskier’s face.

“That’s against the rules!” Jaskier yells, spluttering.

Eskel laughs. “I thought you said rules are for cowards?”

He gets a snowball to the chest as a reply. And another to his shoulder as he bends down to gather more snow, both dissolving into a spray of white when they hit him. He catches the back of Jaskier’s head when he stands and grins at the subsequent stream of soft swearing but this time doesn’t let it distract him from the way Jaskier is clearly readying himself to attack again.

They’re both covered in bits of snow by the time they pause, Jaskier letting his head drop onto Eskel’s shoulder with a groan. “Where on earth do you get your stamina?”

Eskel shrugs, then curls an arm around Jaskier so he doesn’t fall over. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Jaskier chuckles, then lifts his head up and loops his arms around Eskel’s neck. Eskel keeps one arm around Jaskier’s waist, using his free hand to carefully brush any flakes of snow off his eyebrows, marvelling at how his Jaskier’s eyes are somehow brighter and more blue than the sky behind him.

“I love you,” Jaskier murmurs.

Despite the way he can’t feel his feet, the words send warmth all the way down to Eskel’s bones themselves. He uses his free hand to pull Jaskier closer and kiss the snow off his slightly frozen but still perfect lips, smiling when one of Jaskier’s hands settles in his hair, the other staying curled around his neck to keep them close.

Eskel could honestly live in the moment forever. But he doesn’t have to because they share so many just like it all the time, for which he can never thank the universe and their lucky stars and everything else that brought and kept them together enough.

“And I love you back,” Eskel murmurs in return.

Jaskier beams, untangling himself. “Can we build a snowman?”

“I thought you were tired?” Eskel asks, but Jaskier only shrugs and crouches down, starting to roll some snow together.

Laughing quietly, Eskel crouches and starts rolling snow as well. Jaskier smiles at the way Eskel so easily indulges him, taking a couple of pictures before his boyfriend notices and then turning back to his lopsided shape to try and transform it into something remotely useful. Eskel finishes his part first, and Jaskier’s jaw drops when he sees how tall he’d managed to make the base of their snowman.

“I can’t believe you keep telling me you never really liked building snowmen when you’re so good at it. I mean, seriously?” Jaskier places his hands on his hips.

Eskel chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I wasn’t lying.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Jaskier says as he places whatever his lopsided shape is atop Eskel’s almost perfect sphere, “but you could have warned me I was working with a professional.”

“Yours isn’t… bad,” Eskel offers.

Jaskier snorts, then leans up to kiss Eskel’s cheek. “You’re sweet but come on, I never stood a chance when you have more experience anyway.”

It still baffles Eskel that Jaskier had never truly experienced snow until he’d moved out for university but it only makes him all the more glad they’d ended up together because Jaskier’s extreme excitement over winter weather is contagious and he adores everything about it.

“Come on, I want to finish him,” Jaskier all but whines, gathering more snow for the snowman’s head.

Eskel resists the urge to comment on Jaskier’s phrasing and gathers some stray twigs for the arms along with two berries from the nearest bush for the eyes. He forgets all about the mouth, only noticing anything is missing when Jaskier facepalms and points at his lips with a barely contained smirk.

“Well, I can’t do everything, can I?” Eskel mutters.

Jaskier wobbles to his feet and elbows him. “Shut up, you love me really.”

“If you say so,” Eskel replies, adding some snow to where the snowman looks like it’s about to tilt over.

“Would you kiss a leaf?” Jaskier asks as he returns.

Eskel frowns. “Only if I wanted to contract some kind of disease.”

Jaskier groans, gently shoving him aside to place the oddly-shaped leaf he’d found in place of their snowman’s mouth. “It’s not like he’s about to kiss anyone any time soon anyway,” he says as if having seriously considered whether snow and leaves would make for an enjoyable display of affection.

“Shame,” Eskel mutters.

Once they finish adding the finishing touches, Jaskier beams at Eskel like his world is complete. "He's perfect! I love him snow much but not as much as I love you," he giggles, kissing Eskel again, who doesn't know if he's meant to be amused or flattered or just generally in love.

Half a dozen pictures and half a dozen more later, they stand up. Jaskier takes Eskel’s hand and pulls him over to a cleaner patch of snow, where he grins and flops onto the ground. Eskel sighs at the thudding noise, pinching the bridge of his nose and hoping Jaskier doesn’t spend the whole evening begging for a massage.

Jaskier on the other hand just grins at how clear the sky is. It’s vast and blue and perfectly smooth and he itches to write a song about it. That, and the way Eskel looks like an angel in his ridiculously insulated coat, the same one he’s offered to Jaskier so many times in the past when his own more style-focused outfits have left him shaking from the cold.

“Eskel, my darling,” Jaskier drawls, “won’t you lie down with me?”

Of course he will. Jaskier may be a dramatic idiot but he’s Eskel’s dramatic idiot of choice and his requests are not so easily refused. It takes a few seconds of manoeuvring but he settles beside Jaskier, a small gasp escaping him as the already-quiet world seems to quieten even more and all he can hear is his own heartbeat.

“Isn’t it a beautiful view?” Jaskier asks breathlessly.

Eskel turns to him, his eyes travelling over the soft redness spilling across his cheeks, the wide smile on his face, the glittering flakes of snow on the fluffy hood of his coat, and the sparkle in his eyes. “The most beautiful one I’ve ever seen,” he agrees.

Jaskier frowns before turning to meet his gaze and blushing as if his face wasn’t already flushed enough. For once, he stays silent, finding Eskel’s hands and interlocking their fingers together, neither of them wanting to move or disrupt the stillness around them. And it’s not that either of them decides they’ve had enough peace for one day but the ground is freezing and Eskel decides it’s been long enough when Jaskier starts shivering.

He pulls himself to his feet, tugging Jaskier upright as he does despite his protests. “You are going to freeze,” Eskel tells him, “and I don’t want a frozen boyfriend.”

“I love you so much,” Jaskier whispers.

Eskel blinks. It’s not that confessions of love are rare for Jaskier, they’re more often than not given far more than strictly necessary, but there’s something so sincere and delicate about Jaskier’s voice that Eskel can’t avoid the lump that threatens to build in the back of his throat.

“I love you more than anything,” Jaskier adds before kissing away the reply Eskel hasn’t yet been able to form.

He doesn’t form one even as Jaskier takes his hand once again, this time leading them back out of the park, pausing once or twice to take a few more photos and wave goodbye to their snowman before they finally leave and get back to their street.

“And I, you,” Eskel finally replies as they reach the front door of their apartment complex, fishing the keys out of his pocket since he hadn’t trusted Jaskier not to lose them again.

Jaskier grins, slipping his gloves off and stamping his feet before they make their way inside where Eskel silently persuades Jaskier to slide out of his coat before collapsing onto the rug. Unlike in the park, Eskel doesn’t join him in lying down and letting the world fade away again, instead hanging up their coats before heading straight for the kitchen.

“Eskel, where did you go?” Jaskier eventually calls from his position on the floor, grumbling to himself when he doesn’t get a response and reluctantly pulling himself to his feet so he can go find his boyfriend to use as a personal heater.

He takes another photo of Eskel, who seems to be stirring something into a mug with a strangely fond expression on his face, before making his way over and wrapping his arms around the other man the same way he’d done in reverse only hours ago. “What are you upto, hmm?”

Eskel chuckles. “Hot chocolate. Absolutely necessary after spending time in the snow.”

“What, doctor’s orders?” Jaskier laughs.

“More importantly, Vesemir’s orders,” Eskel corrects, nudging Jaskier back towards the living room. “Go find a blanket, I’ll be right there.”

Jaskier sighs loudly but does as he’s told, pulling up their largest blanket - one that just so happens to be covered in drawings of goats because Eskel had fallen in love with it and Jaskier could never have lived with himself if he’d denied his boyfriend something that made him so happy - and waiting none too patiently, taking the opportunity to send over all the pictures he’d taken on their adventure.

“Alright, move over,” Eskel orders as he emerges with two mugs - ones that just so happen to be shaped so they look like they’re hugging when put together because Jaskier had fallen in love with them and Eskel hadn’t even hesitated before agreeing to buy them even though they’re really sort of impractical.

He hands Jaskier the blue mug, keeping the red one for himself, and the two of them settle on the couch, Eskel with one arm around Jaskier’s shoulders and Jaskier with one arm around Eskel’s waist. Being as close to one another as physically possible is worth the risk of spilled beverages and anyway, Eskel had made sure their drinks weren’t boiling to avoid any major disasters.

“How do you always get this to taste so good?” Jaskier asks the same way he does every time Eskel makes him any kind of drink.

“Magic,” Eskel replies, kissing the top of Jaskier’s head.

Jaskier laughs, snuggling into their embrace even more. “Mhm, you are pretty magical. Pretty and magical. I love you. I love you snow much.”

Eskel can feel his face heat up again, and not because of the hot chocolate, but he hides it behind feigning exasperation at yet another repeat of Jaskier's admittedly cute but still terrible pun. He doesn’t reply at all this time but he knows Jaskier doesn’t mind, both of them focusing on their drinks until their mugs are empty.

“Would you mind if I fell asleep?” Jaskier mumbles, turning and leaning almost entirely on Eskel, both of his arms now curled around him.

“You know I wouldn’t,” Eskel says, pushing Jaskier’s hair out of his eyes and smiling when he hums happily, already knowing they’re both going to wake up with aching or numb limbs later but also knowing that it will have been worth it.

“You’re the best,” Jaskier announces after a moment, yawning despite them only having spent a few hours outside. To be fair, though, he probably hadn’t gotten more than a couple hours the night before, so Eskel doesn’t feel like teasing him about it.

Only when he’s sure Jaskier is asleep does he shift so he’s leaning on the arm of the couch, adjusting them so they’re both a little more comfortable before kissing the top of Jaskier’s head again. Picking his phone up from the table next to him, he opens the gallery and scrolls through the photos that Jaskier has sent him in backwards order, with the occasional sigh when he gets to the photos of himself that he didn’t know Jaskier was taking but will definitely be immediately used as his lockscreen, until he gets to the video from when Jaskier had first collapsed into the snow.

“I’m lying in snow, actual snow! Isn’t that great?” Jaskier grins at the camera, and Eskel has to pause it to cherish the look on his face before pressing play again. “I know you’re going to be watching this when I’m busy or asleep so once again, thank you for indulging me, Eskel. It means a lot to me that you’ve let me be a child again with you.”

Eskel is briefly filled with rage once more, a rage directed towards Jaskier’s parents who, despite existing where Eskel’s own had not, had left a gap in Jaskier’s life where a normal childhood should have been.

“And before you get all grumpy, don’t. I love you so much and meeting you was worth everything. Well, all the things that came after were also worth it but I don’t need to go into everything because you know what I mean.”

That he does. One thing the two of them have always shared from the very first time they’d met was being able to read one another almost perfectly. Not all the time, sure, but they never seemed to suffer from the sheer amount of miscommunication that some of their mutual acquaintances had.

“Anyway, uhm, I just wanted to say that I got you an invite to come with me over the weekend so we can spend new year’s in the snow too. Not that I knew we’d already have had a snow day before then so now I don’t know how to ask without it being awkward, hence this video… and look who it is, the gorgeous man himself! ”

Eskel blinks as the bit he remembers plays out, including his own eye-roll. He replays the video twice, partly due to disbelief but also because Jaskier is talking extremely fast, most definitely not tearing up as he realises Jaskier must have picked up on his reluctance for them to part just before the new year even though he’d been trying his best not to hold him back from his music.

“You were wrong earlier, Jas,” Eskel murmurs into Jaskier’s hair, “because actually, you’re the best.”

When Jaskier curls himself a little tighter around Eskel even whilst asleep, there’s absolutely no doubt left in Eskel’s mind that there’s nobody he’d want to spend not only this new year’s but every other new year’s for the rest of his life with. But that’s a conversation for another day so he just puts the phone down and pulls the blanket up over Jaskier, melting into the warmth of falling asleep next to his favourite person, content.

i tried really hard not to just throw in angst like i've been doing with all my other wips lately and i'm not sure i was entirely successful but hey, i'm pretty happy with how it turned out :)

someone on ao3 pointed out that this fits in with my bakery au so now it does, here’s the masterlist for that if you’re interested :)

thanks for reading !! masterlist | witcher blog: @itsjaskier

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spaceskam · 4 years ago

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don’t let me die while i’m like this

a dust & ashes inspired fic that turned into simply a Pierre Bezukhov inspired fic for @matchtheminrenown that has been such a long time coming you have probably forgotten so surprise. However, if you read the warning list and want something lighter, I can absolutely do that for you lol

ao3

Warning: depression, alcohol, suicidal ideation/intrusive thoughts, car accident, I don’t know if this counts as dissociation but it’s similar, there’s a happy ending I promise

Alex was happy. Wasn't he?

His eyes drifted from the blank ceiling over to the man in bed beside him. Forrest looked peaceful, his face smushed into the pillow. Michael slept on his back, but Forrest slept on his stomach. The first few times they shared a bed, Alex would regularly make sure he was still breathing and hadn't suffocated himself on the pillow. He was always fine.

For a moment, Alex thought about rolling over and waking him up slow. He thought about starting his day with languid kisses and getting some of his morning energy through drinking in Forrest rather than coffee. But Forrest slept on his stomach and somehow waking him up while he was face down seemed too hard.

Instead, Alex grabbed his crutches and hauled himself out of bed. His mind was a little blurry and he seemed to move on autopilot rather than actual desire to start his day. He braced himself against the door of the fridge as he leaned down to get his cold brew pitcher and then reached up to grab a cup. By the time he poured half a cup, he decided a little kahlúa wouldn't hurt.

He's stirring in milk when Forrest appears, lines from the pillow case imprinted on his face. Alex remembered thinking that was cute before, but it didn't stir that same feeling in him. This must be the mundanity of having a steady relationship. He just figured it took longer than three months for that to kick in.

"Morning," Forrest said, yawning and walking past him to make his own coffee. He eyed the bottle of kahlúa, but he didn't say anything about. Or, not directly. "Are you working today?"

"Yeah," Alex said, tightening the lid on his cup and feeding the metal straw through the little hole.

"You need help?" he asked.

"No," Alex said simply.

He slid the cup to the opposite side of the counter and used his crutches to walk there. Then he grabbed the cup and leaned as far as he could to put the cup on the window sill before walking to the window. Then he leaned and moved the cup to the slightly oddly placed table in between the kitchen and living room, then to the back of the couch, then he was all good. It was a system he'd perfected.

Alex sunk into the couch and stared at the TV. He wondered if Donna Reed was on this early but couldn’t convince himself to check. Instead, he sipped on his coffee slowly, allowing himself to zone out whole waiting for his second alarm to go off. He zoned out most days lately. Alex decided it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Maybe he was struggling to be interested in anything and maybe he was on autopilot most days, but that was better than being sad. He'd choose that over sadness any day.

“Are you okay, Alex?” Forrest asked. Alex blinked a few times and saw Forrest settled into the other side of the couch. He didn’t remember him sitting there.

“Yeah,” Alex said and he meant it. He was fine. Forrest nodded slowly and settled into the couch.

Alex stared at him. He was attractive, objectively, and somewhere inside Alex found him to still be someone he liked to kiss sometimes, but waking up to him in the morning started feeling less and less like something that brought him joy. But he’d rather have someone over no one any day.

“Maybe we can have sort of a date night tonight? I’ll make dinner, we can watch a movie, eat ice cream,” Forrest suggested. Alex sipped his coffee.

“Okay.”

His second alarm went off to tell him to get ready for work just as he finished drinking his coffee. Forrest offered to clean his cup for him as he was getting up and Alex said his thanks before heading back to the bedroom. Again, he fell into autopilot as he got ready for the day. Prosthetic, brush teeth, fatigues, fix hair, stretch. He was pretty sure he’d missed a step, already not really remembering participating in it, but his toothbrush was damp and his hair was fine.

“Alex,” Forrest said cautiously as he headed towards the door, “Don’t forget your jacket.”

Sure enough, when he looked down, he’d forgotten his uniform jacket. He went back to get it.

Driving was more difficult than he remembered. His mind kept wandering to nowhere, his eyes getting distracted or unfocusing and he’d have to make sure he wasn’t speeding or going to slow or swerving into other people’s lanes. He shook his head, trying to shake away the cloudy feeling and doing his best to just focus. It wasn’t fucking working.

Alex thought about pulling over and getting more coffee to see if that would help. He thought about calling in sick so he could just stop fucking driving. He didn’t really want to deal with anyone today and this was just the icing on the cake. Could his brain get any more fucking annoying than when it didn’t want to listen?

As he approached a clogged four-way intersection and, just for a moment, not for the first time, wondered what would happen if he didn’t stop. What if he just let go of the wheel. What if he just closed his eyes. But he didn’t. He shook the thoughts along with the fog out of his mind.

His phone rang as he sat at the red light and he looked down, seeing an incoming call from Michael Guerin. Which, in itself was weird. He didn’t call. Michael Guerin kept his space from Alex, always carrying that invisible 10-foot pole to make sure he didn’t get too close. Alex had cried once about it, but he hadn’t cried in a over a week now about anything. Progress.

“Hello?” he asked.

“Alex,” Michael breathed. Alex remembered a time that used to make his whole body revive itself. “What are you doing today?”

“Work.”

“Well, what time do you get off? I need your help with something,” he said. Alex stared forward, his heart beating at a stagnant and anxiety-ridden tempo. Weeks Michael hadn’t talked to him. Weeks Michael had avoided him whenever Alex had been forced to play nice during all the bullshit he put out there. Weeks of it until Michael needed help.

And somehow Alex couldn’t even be angry.

“I’m tired,” Alex said, letting off the break as the light turned green. Michael was quiet for a second.

“Well, like, later, I mean,” Michael said awkwardly.

Alex furrowed his eyebrows as he watched a car on another side of the intersection coming in at full speed. He ignored them, expecting them to stop like most people did,

“Yeah, I--”

They didn’t.

Alex woke up with the worst headache imaginable.

“Hey,” Kyle said, looming over him with a warm smile. Alex squinted at him and closed his eyes again, trying to subdue the pain. “Are you in pain?”

“My head,” Alex groaned.

“Okay, give me one second, I’ll tell them to get you something. I would do it myself, but, you know, conflict of interest and--”

“Kyle.”

“Sorry,” he said, pausing for a moment, “I was worried about you.”

Alex sighed, opening his eyes again. Kyle had turned off the lights and closed the curtains so it was a little bit better. He sat up, his body a little sore and his head still aching, but overall he was fine.

“I’m fine,” Alex said. Kyle scoffed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, “Your car was totalled, Alex. That car smashed into your passenger side and pushed the driver’s side to smash into the car beside you. You were literally trapped in a giant metal sandwich and somehow the worst thing that happened was you hit your head. It knocked you out in time to make your body completely relax and I’m pretty sure that’s what saved you from worse damage and they’re keeping you on watch just in case you have a brain bleed we didn’t see in the first scan, but that was some miracle shit, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes widened and he looked down at himself. He didn’t even see a scratch. What the hell?

“You scared the shit out of all of us,” Kyle said, reaching out to gently rub his thumb over what was probably a massive bump on the side of his forehead. Alex swallowed hard as guilt filled his system. Yeah, this wasn’t his fault, but it very well could’ve been. “Guerin called us freaking out.”

“Is he here?” Alex asked. Kyle nodded.

“Everyone is, but I told them to give you some space first because I figured you wouldn’t react well to a room full of people.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, licking his lips. Kyle still had that grim little look on his face, still touching the bump on his head.

“When he called saying something happened to you, my mind jumped to... just not good places,” he admitted, meeting Alex’s eyes, “Are you okay, Alex? Something has been going on with you and I guess I didn’t realize just how many warning signs you’ve been giving off until I heard you were hurt and I immediately assumed you did it to yourself. I’ve been a shitty friend and I’m gonna be there for you more.”

“You’re not a shitty friend,” Alex said. Kyle rolled his eyes, his hand dropping down a little to rest on the side of Alex’s neck.

“I noticed there was something wrong and I didn’t talk to you. I’m talking to you now and I’m not going back. So, tell me, are you okay? Is this a good excuse to look into adjusting medication or something? Tell me what’s going on or what you need and let me help because I never want to feel like I did when I got that call, okay?” Kyle said. Alex nodded easily and moved in for a hug.

Kyle clung onto him as tight as his body would allow and Alex reveled in it. It seemed to be the first time in awhile he actually felt something. It made Alex realize that maybe numb wasn’t better than sadness after all.

How long had he spent just allowing things to happen? When did he go from bad to worse? He couldn’t remember. Well, fuck that. He’d survived something that should’ve killed him. This was his second chance. Or, third chance. Fourth chance? It didn’t matter. He’d gotten out unscathed and he was thankful. He didn’t want to die when he couldn’t feel anything and didn’t have the things he wanted. He wanted to feel something, everything. He was ready to force himself out of his rut.

Alex squeezed Kyle and pulled back a little, resting the non-bumped side of his head against Kyle’s. Despite the tears in the doctor’s eyes, he smiled right back at him.

“I’ve been a little numb lately,” Alex admitted, “But I’m done with that. Done wasting my life being numb. I’m going to do good things. Marie Kondo my way through life. Does it bring me joy? No, so we change it. Starting with Forrest.”

“Whoa, what?” Kyle asked, pulling back, “You’re gonna dump Forrest?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed. Saying it out loud made him feel even better. He was putting in effort, moving forward. It felt good. “I almost died and, if I had, I would’ve been in a relationship with someone who doesn’t really inspire me to feel something. He’s a great guy, I just need something...”

“More like Guerin?” Kyle guessed. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Fuck Guerin. If he wants me, he can fight for me,” Alex decided, “But yes.”

Kyle laughed and let his hands fall off of Alex.

“Well, whatever you want to do, I’m here for you,” Kyle said, “And if you’re ever feeling numb like that, just tell me. I know you probably think no one cares, but we do. I do. I’m here to listen. I love you, man, and I want you around as long as possible.”

“I love you too,” Alex said.

It was the first time in a long time he’d said those words to anyone, romantic or platonic. He quite liked that it was Kyle who got to hear them. It made him smile. It made him feel good. He was never going back to feeling numb. He was going to do whatever he could to keep this feeling in tact.

“Now when can I leave?”

Alex was happy. Wasn’t he?

His eyes drifted from the blank ceiling over to the empty space in bed beside him. It’d been a week since he broke up with Forrest. He’d taken it well enough, he said that he’d seen in coming and would like to be friends, but he needed a little space and Alex agreed happily.

And he’d been happy. He didn’t have a concussion, he bought a new car, he went to work ready for the day, he went for drinks with Kyle, he went through files with Michael again (after an apology, of course). He was doing better, so much better he didn’t even need to take his meds anymore. Or, he thought so.

Today he was back to feeling rough. He’d been doing his damnedest to get out of bed and he was struggling. He knew a bad day would come eventually, but so soon? Did he have to plummet so soon? He was trying so hard.

Tears sprung to his eyes and he took a deep breath, willing them away. No. He refused. He was going to be happy. He was moving forward.

He forced himself to get out of bed and it helped when he didn’t think about it. And he moved to the kitchen to make his coffee, shutting his brain down as he allowed himself to swing back into autopilot. It was easier that way.

His phone rang as he sat on the couch and he sighed, answering it without looking.

“Hey,” Michael said on the other end. For a little while after his wreck, Michael’s voice had brought him so much happiness. They would look over files, tease each other, laugh. Two days ago, they play fought and ended up a giggling mess like they were teenagers. Two days ago. How had he ricocheted so quickly? Because today the sweet sound of his voice drained Alex of his energy.

“What?” Alex asked, swirling his coffee. He couldn’t finish it. It was half empty and he couldn’t finish it.

“You wanna come have breakfast? I can make omelets and some coffee, we can watch a little Donna Reed,” Michael offered, that tone in his voice that was usually a little tempting. Alex wanted to want to go, but he was tired and had more important things to handle.

“I have work,” Alex said.

“Tomorrow then?” Michael suggested, still not dissuaded.

“I’m tired.”

Michael was silent for a few seconds, drawing it out as long as possible. It started to make Alex feel a little sick. He wanted to apologize and say he would come in the morning even though he didn’t want to. Before he could, though, Michael started talking again.

“Okay,” Michael agreed, “Okay, yeah, that’s fine. Get some rest and I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.”

Alex held his phone to his ear long after Michael hung up.

Kyle was standing by Alex’s new car when he got off of work.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked. He was too tired to deal with this right now. He just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and stay there for a few years.

Kyle held up Alex’s weekly pill box. He stared blankly at it, not really understanding how or why he had them. Kyle shook his head and held them out alongside a bottle of water.

“Michael called me, said something was up. You can imagine my surprise when I saw you picked around your antidepressants the last week,” he said. Alex stared at him and reluctantly accepted the offering. “You can’t just go off them, Alex.”

“I was doing fine,” Alex said, reluctantly fishing the pill out of the little compartment.

“Yeah, because you were taking them and because you were riding that high,” Kyle said. Alex shrugged, staring at the pill in his palm. Was it normal to stare at it and feel like failing? Tears burned in his eyes and he blinked them away. Kyle’s boots crunched against the ground as he stepped into Alex’s space. “It’s normal to have good days and bad days, okay? Don’t beat yourself up.”

“I thought I was better,” Alex said, shaking his head as a new wave of tears hit him, “I mean I’ve been doing my best to make myself happy, but nothing’s working. I don’t understand why I’m like this.”

“Alex,” Kyle said, his hand gently gripping Alex’s chin and making him look at him, “This shit isn’t a linear process. You are doing better. The way you’re feeling right now? Yeah, sure, it’s worse than you were a couple days ago, but is it worse than you were three weeks ago?”

“I don’t even remember three weeks ago.”

“That proves my point,” Kyle insisted, “Just take the pill and let’s go home, okay?”

Reluctantly, Alex did what he said and let Kyle pull him into a hug. It wasn’t as uplifting as the last hug Kyle gave him felt, but it was as strong and stable as always. Alex loved him for it.

They made an appointment to see a therapist on the way home.

Alex was content.

His eyes drifted from the blank ceiling over to the man in bed beside him. Kyle slept on his side with his mouth open and his arms and legs splayed out like a starfish. He took up most of the bed and Alex had woken up more than once because Kyle had unintentionally pushed him to the edge. Alex would kick him until he either moved or woke up with a whiny ‘why are you kicking me?’. It’d be funny if it wasn’t annoying.

This wasn’t a permanent arrangement, but it was one that, all sleeping habits aside, Alex appreciated. It took him a little while to accept that maybe having someone around him to be a rock before he could be his own was important. Alex had spent so much time thinking he needed to be self-sufficient that he hadn’t realized how important a good support system was. And Kyle was one hell of a support system.

On days when Alex felt good, he was there to remind him he still needed to take his medication and still needed to go to therapy because that’s how you stayed feeling good. Whenever he was feeling bad, Kyle would manage to find that perfect balance between babying him through it and getting him to cope on his own. It kept him from shutting down while still allowing him to process it. On days that were in the middle, Kyle was still just there and his friend. He liked it.

There was also just a lot of understanding that being content most days in life wasn’t a failure, it was the goal. No one could be happy every day. Content was okay. It was better than being numb. Anything was better than being numb.

Alex didn’t get out of bed until there was knocking at the door. He didn’t groan or have to battle with himself if he should just ignore it, he simply got up and went to the door. He didn’t have to think about it. Progress.

When he opened it, Michael Guerin was standing there with grocery bags.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked. He hid the fact that he was happy to see him. They weren’t together, but they were working on navigating what that could one day be like. Communication and dedicating time to each other were two of their most important things right now.

“I’m making you breakfast. Well, us and Kyle breakfast. Omelets and coffee,” Michael said, pushing his way through, “And guess what I brought?”

“What?” Alex asked, following him into the kitchen. Michael dug through one of the grocery bags before holding up a CD.

“Season 1 of The Donna Reed Show was in the discount bin for $3. Now you have your own copy,” Michael said, flashing a smile. Alex smiled right back, sitting down at the counter.

“Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” Michael said, turning back to find a pan to start cooking with.

It wasn’t long before Kyle got up as well and Michael poured him a cup of coffee. It was nice having them both here. No animosity, no jealousy, they were just there for no reason. No reason other than that they wanted to. Because they liked being around him and they loved him. This was contentment. This was the goal. Michael at the stove and complaining at Kyle for putting too much shit into his coffee. It felt like home.

And, although he wasn’t in the best of moods, Alex smiled.

#alex manes fic #kylex brotp #malex fic #alex manes #michael guerin #kyle valenti #rnm fic #my fic #no hate to forrest #full hate to myself because i'm gonna be late for work becuase i wanted to finish this lol

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