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yoichiris · 2 years ago

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love me now | itoshi rin x reader

✩ we were born in a box ✩ pro-player!rin, hurt with comfort, secret dating au

when rin first asks you to keep quiet about your relationship, you're too in love to care.

after all, many things weren't public: not the little smile he gives you when he walks into your apartment, not the way his lashes flutter in the morning sunlight, and definitely not his grunts when he pushes into you. these were sides of rin that were only reserved for you.

but the frustration builds, with every goal that rin scores, the more attention he gets, and the more faded into the background you are.

you stand in the audience, the crowd booming as the ball strains against the net where rin has just kicked it, your eyes trained on him. usually you would've cheered, but recently you've been feeling alone. and you know it's unfair, but he doesn't even look for you, completely focused on the field.

"did you see that?" you hear some guy talking to his partner next to you, voice laced with disbelief.

"fucking awesome," someone else says.

these are the moments rin lives for, you think. outplaying the opponent. making the goal in a way that doesn't allow any doubt about his skill. the set expression on his face tells you everything, that he's planned for this moment and this moment only, and it makes you sad that you've never once crossed his mind.

sometimes you watch rin's teammates run to their partners after winning a game. you try to imagine what rin would be like, if he were like that with you. would he be like bachira, who practically swings his partner over the railings? or isagi, who cups his partner's face between his hands and presses a sensual kiss to their lips?

you think harder, and the answer is probably neither.

which is how you end up standing at the gates of his apartment a few hours after his game ends, feeling apprehensive, when you know he'll return after doing his decompression, doing press, debriefing with his team.

rin's eyes change when he sees you.

"what are you doing here?" he asks, barely glancing at you, "i thought i told you always to wait for me inside."

in case someone sees us, is the unspoken part.

it made you feel special when he had given you the code to his apartment, bypassing all manners of security, having your name discreetly given to the concierge at the lobby. but all of that had been for his career, and his career only.

for rin, everything revolved around being the best at what he did. and you understood. but did you really hinder his career that much?

i don't want them to focus on something so trivial, he had told you once. you know he's talking about gossip, paparazzi, sensational headlines, not you, but you can't help but take it the wrong way. were you trivial to him?

"what are you so scared of, rin?" you ask him softly, your stance firm when he tries to redirect you past the unlocked gates.

he scowls, "what's gotten into you?"

"i don't know," you admit, not really knowing what you want to say, driven only by the feeling of loneliness in your chest, "what do you get out of this?"

the confusion flickers over his face for only a moment. always smart, he is.

"out of what? our relationship?" he retaliates, the way he says relationship making you flinch, even if his tone has barely changed.

you're scared to look at him, because you know what you're asking him to admit. i like you, he had said at the beginning of it all. his expression had been blank, but his eyes had an intensity that made you believe him. and you do.

but being head over heels in love with him as you are, thinking it'd be enough for everything... you hadn't been prepared. not for this kind of life with him.

"yeah," you mumble, quiet, "...i'm just tired of being your secret, rin."

he looks frustrated.

"you're not," he tells you, and once again you believe him, but it's just not enough. "what do you want me to do?"

you don't know. is there anything you could ask him to do? did you have the right to ask him to do everything he had already refused once to do?

you've had this conversation. once, twice. but rin's always been immovable, stubborn. and it's not like you didn't know that his career would always be his priority. so you had dropped it, thinking that you could move past it.

"nothing," you reply, voice shaking. you look down. you don't have the energy to do this a third time.

you sniffle, not yet crying. "i'm gonna go, okay?" you tell him, "it was a good game today."

he reaches out to you instinctively, long fingers circling your hand. he holds onto you for a moment, and you think for a second he'll say something. but he breaks eye contact first and lets you go.

"thanks," he says instead, "be careful on your way home."

you think that's your answer and tell him goodbye.

when you wake up the next morning, you feel completely disoriented. you think the noise you hear is your alarm clock, but you quickly realize that it's just your phone buzzing incessantly.

you sit up in bed, wondering if your eyes are deceiving you.

scrolling through the hundreds of messages in your inbox, scanning through most of the keyboard smashes, and seeing rin's name over and over again, brings you to rin's instagram.

your heart pounds as your eyes take in the picture. you've never seen it before, but you recognize the sprawl of your hair, the familiar crumple of rin's sheets around you.

he's in the frame too, his lips slightly parted at the top right, his exposed collarbone leaving nobody wondering what you two were doing. your face isn't shown, but a tap on the picture shows you that he's tagged your private instagram.

of course rin would post the raunchiest picture allowed to be posted to announce your relationship. of course he had to outdo all other relationship announcements. and of course he would do it at 2am, hours after you'd had your fight.

you can barely breathe when you scroll down to the caption.

Liked by sae_it and others

itoshi_rin love you.

your fingers shake as you swipe back to your home screen, to the rin's name on your favorites page, to call him. he answers on the third ring, his voice raspy.

"hey," he grunts, sounding like all those times you've woken up next to him, with his arm slung over your waist, his chin tucked over your form.

you snuggle into your blankets at the sound of his voice. "you have something to say to me, rin?" you tease.

"no," he says, always mean, and you imagine the slight slant of his frown. "i got practice soon. talk to you later, yeah?"

you're about to protest, but he cuts you off— "i love you."

you think he's about to hang up, but there's a moment of silence as he waits, vulnerable, for you to respond. you smile, thinking about rin holding his breath on the other end of the phone.

"i love you, too."

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sae_it 3h ? 3892 likes Reply

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bachira.megu 2h congrats!!!! FINALLY 957 likes Reply

namu_09035 1h OH MY GODHJAJHD MY HEART YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE 567 likes Reply

__iluvu__ 1h YOURE SO HOT HOLY FUCK 372 likes Reply

#blue lock x reader #itoshi rin x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi rin x you #yoi's crops 🌱#from: itoshi rin🎀

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yarafic · 4 months ago

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Imagine: Kol taking you to meet his family

Staring at your feet, bundle of nervous mingling in the pit of your stomach. You have never react such a way when meeting new people but knowing you are going to meet the family of your partner. That hit a nerve, when he ask you to be introduced to his family; you stood their gobsmacked with the news. You just hum to the agreement but deep inside you were mortified. What if his family doesn't like her because she is a mere human? Or what if their isn't anything captivating about her. They are just gonna find her boring.

In snail-like pace, she walks to the door as she goes to knock the door was immediately open by Kol. By seeing his face, she let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She quickly goes for an embrace to persuade herself that everything is going to be fine. Kol snicker at her reaction and pulls her inside. He knew how she was feeling right now that she is meeting his family. He finds in absolutely adorable how she is freaking out.

He lowers himself to whisper in her ear, "Everything is going to be alright, darling." He leaves a peck on your temple maybe that would ease the jitters.

"Is she here already?" A voice asked, the foot steps began louder and louder indicating the person was coming closer. Y/n didn't know what to do, she moves behind Kol to hide.

"Don't be afraid, darling." Kol states, which she finds absurd that he is telling her to not be terrified that she is dating a thousand year old vampire. In an instant his sibling could and will kill her in a blink of an eye. To be scared to death is a statement that she knows down in her soul could happen, if ever dared to be annoying or disrespectful.

"Kol, Where is our guest?"

"She is right behind me dear sister." Kol moves to aside to show his sister that his lover is behind scared out of her mind. Rebekah softens seeing the state that her brother's girlfriend was in.

"Hello, I'm Rebekah but you can call me Beka." She introduces to the shy girl.

"Hi, I'm y/n... it's nice to meet you." She says softly scared to speak a little louder.

"Don't be shy, love. We will never hurt you." Rebekah tells her, Y/n reminds her of herself when she was still human. Sweet and innocent. Until her world became darker and cruel, she needed to learn and adapt so she wouldn't be this scared little girl.

Now Rebekah can defend herself from their enemies and anything that gets in the way of her and family.

Rebekah got closer to Y/n and throw her arms around to embrace her warmly hug. She felt Y/n tense underneath her but slowly found comfort in the hug. She lets her go and sees she much more relaxed.

She turns to Kol and says, "I like her already."

Kol smiles brightly from the interaction his sister and girlfriend were having. He knew they were going to be best of friends. He goes up to her to clasp her hand in his and guide her throughout the house until they arrived to go to the patio where their little dinner was going to be held at. Y/n was kind of starstruck with how beautifully decorated was the backyard. It felt like it was straight out of a Disney film, she will never get over on how breathtaking it is. Kol notice her reaction and shakes his head softly, guides to the table.

"Ah! Our guest has arrived." Klaus announces excitedly, he wants to see the woman that has made his brother carefree. He would like to thank her for loving his unconditionally. He knows how difficult and stubborn his dear brother can be.

Y/n turns around to see Kol's brother approaching them, she was stun to see that his brother is as well attractive. She wonders were this family blessed to look this drop dead gorgeous.

"Hello love, I'm Klaus but you can call me Nik." He says, he shakes her hand. He could tell how nervous she is. It made him smile softly, he knows Kol admired those type of woman with sharp tongues and confidence that are killer. But what made him fall in love with a girl who is this shy of a mouse. That truly did intrigue him so much.

"It's so nice to meet you! I'm Y/n." She greets him, now with a new found confidence. Her in mind she was thanking Rebekah, who have gave her the reassurance that everything was going to be alright. Yet again, she was thankful that she met her first then others. Rebekah and Kol stood there still weirded out the interaction that was taking place. Mostly, of their brother, Klaus. He has never allowed anyone call him, Nik. Only his siblings. Which this whole situation is all out of character for their brother.

"Come on, darling. Let's go and sit. We have to wait for my other two siblings." Kol says to her as he guides her to the table.

Y/n sits down and looks at Kol, then says, "How many siblings do you have?"

"I have seven siblings but two of them have fallen." He replies to her while leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Seven!" She exclaims.

"I admire that's all the information she took in." Klaus replies to Kol. Kol shook his head while laughing, he couldn't deny how adorable you look at this very moment. He can say that he is quite lucky to have found someone like you. You are the light to brighten up his darkest of days. The reason why he fought to change himself to be a better man because you made him want to change. You are the reason why he wants to exist in this pathetic world.

"We truly apologize for arriving late." A man in a suit said, while behind him stood two women. One of those women is holding cute baby... y/n heart swell when she saw the small child. Kol look at her and smiled sadly. Knowing that he will never be able to give the children she would desire to have. Y/n looks up toward Kol and saw the frown on his face, she gently pecks his cheek. He looks down at her and kisses her forehead, she whispers to him softly, " I am amazed."

"Why?" He whispers back to her. He got curious as to why she was amazed, they haven't done anything out of the extraordinary nor have they began chatting among with his family.

"How come everyone is so fucking attractive. I feel like it a crime." She whispers back.

Laughter was heard around them, they both look up to them staring Y/n; she shyly look down.

"Don't fret, love. I always have been told I was a god." Klaus replied, everyone knew his ego.

"Yes, dear brother. They have called you a god of short temper." The one in the suit says back to his brother.

Which everyone laughs, Klaus rolls his eyes at everyone. Y/n

"How rude of me! Hello, I'm Elijah." He says as he extends out his hand for a shake. Timidly shakes his hand and smiles softly, she waves at the two ladies.

"These three are Freya, Hayley and lastly, the baby is Hope." He says, as he gestures at them. The women smile softly, Hayley walks toward Klaus and hands him Hope. Hope giggles in the arms of Klaus, Y/n understood right there that Hope is his child. She did a small cutesy wave to Hope.

"Do you want to hold her, little dove." Klaus ask her, with a brow raised.

Y/n leans her head to the side, curious as to why he calls her little dove. She looks at the face of everyone at the table and they all had the same face. They were all confuse with the fact he gave her a nickname.

"Why little dove?" She asks.

"Because among all of us, you are the purest. Dove are a symbol of purity." Klaus states, as he hands hope to her. She gently embraces Hope into her arms, she began making funny faces.

"Now, let's begin." Freya announces, as she gestures for the waiter to begin bring out the food.

"Where is Y/n?" The older brother of Kol asked, they had a lovely time getting to know her. They truly believe, not only them believe that Y/n change him for the better. Klaus knew that having her around will also bring his family a little closer to humanity.

"She is upstairs, we were thinking about watching a film." Kol replies, he knew that Elijah and his two sisters approve of their relationship. He was ecstatic to hear the news but he was entirely scared of what Klaus would think. He demand to know his brother impression about their entanglement.

"I can say little brother that you have found the one. I hope you keep in mind to cherish her forever." Klaus adds, he places his hand on his shoulder to assure him that it is alright. He has to not worry of any aggressions he might do. Meeting the human girl, he felt as she was like another sister. He vowed to himself that he will help Kol protect her from the harms that come from being involve in this family.

_____

"What did you think about my family?" Kol asks.

"What do I think about them, it's more likely what do they think about me?" She says dramatically, as she points at herself. Throughout the whole dinner she kept on worry with the fact she would mistakes or embarrass herself. Which she is great on doing so, Kol laughs at her and shakes his head; he leaves her there on the bed so he can go get the remote.

"Stop laughing at me!"She shouts while tugging on her hair. She across her on top of her chest and pouts she hates it when he never takes her seriously. Kol jumps back on bed and pulls her to him, he cups her face with her hands to place a soft kiss on her plump red lips. He can never get enough from kissing her, every kiss felt it was the first.

"Don't worry. I know for a fact they love you."

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emojellyace08 · 2 years ago

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Hiii! I love the way you write and I was wondering if I could make a request (only if you want)

So how about the lookism boys reaction to an extremely beautiful and ethereal fem!reader who is like so feminine and ethereal she looks like a princess from a fairytale and even animals love her??

Anyways remember to stay safe and healthy!!

Lookism Men x Stunning Fem! Reader

Hiii Thanks for the request @jejegilipollas! This kind of reminds me of a Disney Princess reader! I'll be doing headcannons for almost every Lookism Men so I wouldn't leave out who you actually simp for xD. And remember all of us are really pretty in our on ways and we're all equal. And stay safe and healthy too! Warnings: insecurities, mentions of trauma, mature themes for the bottom/second part Genre: fluff ☁️ angst 🥀, slight lemon/smut 🍋 slight crack (comedy)🧨 ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Zack Lee/Vasco/Eli Jang/Warren Chae/Jerry Kwon/Johan Seong/Jake Kim/Sinu Han/Duke Pyeon/Jace Park/Line Man/Brad Lee/Jiho Park/Magami Kenta/Young Jinyoung Park/Young Gapryong Kim/Jichang Kwak/Taesoo Ma/Xiaoleoung/Jihan Kwak/Jibeom Kwak/Yuseong

He doesn't really prioritize having a "Goddess or too good to be true looking girlfriend" since he already has lots of trauma and he's been really stressful lately. So having a dependable, trust-worthy, and helpful partner is enough for him.

But when he saw you, a transferee student/staff on his school/working place he couldn't stop staring at you. He may look like a creep so when you turn in his direction, so he'll look away pretty fast. But you took notice of this and knowing your friendly personality and warm vibes, you thought befriending him isn't a bad idea.

So when you approached him, he couldn't help but to blush and be awkward around you. He thinks that you're too good for him and he's out of your league. Your smart, pretty, kind, you name it. Because of his insecurities getting in his way, he doesn't really know if he even deserves to stay beside you. But after getting to know you better, you're not really a judgmental person and you're always staying beside him even when things aren't really going well for him. So he really learned how to trust you more.

He's also the type to innocently admire your beauty. He'll definitely shower you with lots of pure compliments! "Hi Y/N!" "Oh hello." you greeted him back with a soft voice as he noticed your hair tied in a different hair style since you often let your hair be loose down. "Your hair looks pretty today." he complimented you while rubbing his nape feeling shy. "Oh really? Thank you!" you smiled back at him, you've been feeling down lately because of your pretty privilege making you insecure. But his compliments just makes your day better. "Yeah, no problem."

You may not know it but it's obvious that he's an animal lover. And he always adopts or feed stray pups and kittens who either lost their way or have gotten abandoned by their animal parent or owner. So you asked him about this and he seems pretty flustered when you brought about the topic and you couldn't help but to giggle at his reaction. Oh God, your voice sounds so pretty. He really can't help but to admire you even more. He just really can't help but to compliment you a lot though you can hear the shy and bashful tone beneath his voice.

So when you're walking home after school/work, you saw a little kitten crying near the road. You decided to gently approach the animal since it can get hurt by a vehicle if you just let it be. You called for it's attention with a sweet voice. And unexpectedly, the cute furball didn't hesitate to rub her body on your leg making you chuckle. "You found a stray kitten?" you heard a familiar voice as you turned around to see that it's just him making you sigh. "Jesus, you scared me" you replied back as he softly chuckled and squatted down beside you making sure that he wouldn't scare the kitten away. "Shh, don't worry little one he's a nice guy" you cooed as he was shocked at your statement. Him? A nice guy? He couldn't help but frown thinking about the things he have done and the names people called him. He feels like you're too good for him, yet you're like a fire in a cold snowy weather. It may seems like your warm feeling can hurt him, but it's in fact the opposite. You made him feel, what's the word. Relaxed? Comfortable? He doesn't really know as he couldn't stay away from you no matter how many times he tried.

"So umm..." "Yes?" you asked him in a sweet tone as he tried completing his sentence, he couldn't help but stutter since he's been hiding his true feelings for you for a long time now. "I have pet food on my house, would you mind if we take her home?" he requested as your eyes sparkled. "Really? Sure! I was also planning to buy her food since it looks like she hasn't been fed for days." "Okay, but do you think you can carry her? Stray cats may have rabies if you got bitten y'know" he reminded you as you chuckled once again. "Don't worry. She let me touch her and it seems like she's getting used with my presence" "Sure. Let's go now" he stood up as you picked the little kitty on your warm arms. "So what will you name her?" he asked on his way home as you followed next to him. "Meowy!" (Chainsaw Man reference lol) "Meowy?" "Yeah. I couldn't think of a cool name. And when I saw her she didn't even hesitate to greet me, so I think Meowy will be her name" you stated as he can still see the light behind your eyes (MCR reference lol) as you petted the animal already felling asleep. He smiled at you as he thought how not only how beautiful you are, you also have a good heart. "Meowy is a pretty name. You should keep it" he replied back as you smiled at him and continued to thank him for helping you out on taking care of the little kitten. Can he just enjoy this moment with you? He have forgotten the danger outside the world as he has the desire to protect you. You really are his sunshine.

Gun Park/Samuel Seo/James Lee or DG/Magami Kenta/Hudson Ahn/Vin Ho Bin(Vin Jin)/Cheong Taejin/Mandeok/Olly Wang/Jiho Park (villain arc)

For the most part, he's not the type to be looking for a date unlike the others. He's not a hopeless romantic.

Though if he founds someone attractive he can't help himself to do the fling with them, releasing his stress on someone while making himself feel good. Yep, he's only fucking someone just so he can pleasure himself. Nothing more and nothing less.

But he can't help but to curious the moment he laid his eyes on you. You're cute to be honest, he won't deny that. You look and act so fragile, innocent most likely. You're also very gentle, sweet and passionate. Contrasting his wild and bold side. He's like a wild animal. He's harsh, aggressive and cold. He never has the desire to be involved on a romantic relationship. He finds the idea of it cringy to be honest. He finds it making him vulnerable. And he finds the idea of having a soft spot on someone well what's the word, to be honest he can't put words on the idea of it.

He does wonder sometimes if he actually lived a decent life, but that doesn't mean that he has regrets of becoming who he is today. He's strong and he can handle things on his own which makes him proud of himself. But hearing it from you and showering him with pure and genuine compliments sounds and feel very different. "Wow! You're so cool and strong!" you stated as your eyes sparkled like little stars on the dark, starry night. He smirked at this, he must admit that you look so innocent and if you continued to act like this, he wouldn't hesitate to give you a kiss if he's more affectionate. "Well I know" he simply replied. Thinking about this moments make his head ache and his stomach grumble. It's not because he's sick, but is it because of what most called butterflies? He chuckled at the thought of it. It's useless. He doesn't need anybody let alone a girl, but he'll often look for your presence when you and him are away for each other even if it's not a very long time.

And it makes him wonder why do you always stay on his side. You and him are too different. You actually lived a decent and peaceful life with a healthy environment, unlike him who's always surrounded by thugs and who's often obsessed with money, power, drugs, alcohol and sex. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he does like you. That's why he's always pushing you away. He doesn't want you to get hurt. And he'll definitely kicked someone's ass if they ever tried to lay their hands on you.

"Hey," he called for your attention as you looked at him with those doe-like eyes. His voice sounds a bit harsh and demanding, but after getting to know him better and getting close to him you know that he's just like that to everybody. And you know that he actually doesn't mean it to be like that. "Yes?" you asked him softly as he made eye-contact. "Why do you always stay next to me?" he asked curiously as it made you slightly upset to be honest. Does he think of you as a burden? Are you annoying? Well despite you always getting compliments from other people about how you look like a princess or Goddess that popped on a fairy tail and given life, you're actually insecure about yourself. Your gentle and feminine side can be annoying to some. You can't help but to feel like a little child that always needed to be protected and taken care of. And you often cared too much about others making you a people pleaser. "What do you mean?" you chuckled trying to hide your distress but he took notice of this. He doesn't mean to be rude, he sighed as he reconstructed his statement since you misunderstood it in the wrong way. "I mean, why do you stay beside me? You can get hurt you know?" he stated as your eyes sparkled once again. "Ahh, you mean in that way?" "Yeah." "Well, because you're really nice!" you honestly answered as he was shocked by your response. Really? Most people viewed him as an asshole for beating them up for his work. "You're joking right?" "Why do you think I'm joking? You're strong, kind well in some times, and you actually protected me when I need help." you smiled at him once again as he looked from a different direction trying to hide his blush. So far, that's the most genuine compliment he got from someone else.

And he also took notice of how gentle you are with animals. Not only you help out other people, but also those street kittens and pups that randomly pop up on streets. He just finds owning a pet a bit stressful since he already has lots of responsibility in his shoulders. "PLEASE CAN WE ADOPT HIM!" you pleaded as you cling on his arms making him groan. "No." "WHY!" "Well, I can't take care of it and I don't want to." he answered honestly but in a brutal way making you frown. If you have dog ears right now it will droop down and your eyes got bigger again like you're about to cry. "Please? I'll take care of it..." you put your hands together begging as he stares at you. He honestly find it cringy since he doesn't know if you're doing that on purpose or if you're just too soft. Not being able to stop you, he sighed. "Fine, but don't ask me to be his babysitter." he looked away as you smiled once again. "C'mon just tell me that you also find him cute!" "Shut up..." he may sound rude, but you can see that little smirk forming on his lips.

Goo Kim/Jake Kim/Kuroda Ryuhei/Yoojin/Sinu Han

This men will be a 100% simp for you (especially Goo and Ryuhei). He just founds you really hot, cute and pretty! Well you name it.

In some levels, they do care about their partner's appearance (remember having preferences are not bad ladies and gentle man). But they actually do not belittle others who are not their taste especially women since for the most part. He's a gentleman (or he tries to be).

To be honest, they're just secretly horny lmao. Remember they're still men so having a partner with a beautiful face and body just makes him worked up. Like, you don't have a right to be this pretty (he just praises you at this point).

But he does know deep inside that looks are not just a fundamental in having a partner. He does care about personality. He just honestly can't stand women who looks hot but just acts annoying and bitchy most of the time. It turns him off the most. But meeting you is one of the best blessing he have. Not only you look like a deity, but you also act like one. He just thought you're an angel who fell from the sky, in this hellish place called Earth. Did God sent you for him? Is life not finally being an ass to him? Who knows.

He'll also compliment you 24/7. Like his mouth just wouldn't stop talking about you. Like, in some levels you kind of find it annoying especially if you're the quiet one. You also probably thought at first that he's a perv but he's just being honest and appreciative! So you just brushed it off and you actually started appreciating his comments about you since it's not harming you in anyways. In fact it also boosts your confidence even more. "Y/N do you know how pretty you are?" he teased just to get a reaction out of you (and he also likes making you smile H:LKHDL:KHAL:KFH:LDKHA) "Of course I do" you smirked as you played along with him. "Well you actually look like a koala" "HEY THAT'S RUDE!" you stated as he laughed at your reaction "BUT KOALAS ARE CUTE!".

He also finds it adorable when you adopt stray animals. He just finds you "waifu material" girl. He also fantasizes about adopting 5 kittens or puppies with you and living on a peaceful and small town. You know, just the normal couple living their best life. Though he wouldn't be open about it since he finds it lowkey embarrassing lmao. "BABE! I FOUND A KITTEN ON A STREET!" "C'mon Y/N it's the fifth time you adopted a cat. Are you making an orphanage out of animals?" he teased as your kitten named Pebbles cling into him like a toddler begging for his dad's attention. "Please? I already have a name for her" you pleaded as he sighed knowing that he can't stop your motherly behavior with animals and besides he finds the cat cute too, it's a pure white kitten with blue sapphire like eyes. "What's her name though?" he asked curiously as you smiled and named the cat Snow. "Why won't you name her Elsa?" "C'mon love you make too much jokes." you sighed trying not to laugh as he chuckled at your reaction. "I'm just kidding, besides Snow's a really fitting name." he gently picked the cat on your arms and petting it. He just finds you daring. You're more than just your looks and he finds that fascinating :3.

A/N: I hope you really like it! It's kind of rushed yet late lmao. And I'm more of a cat person than a dog person but I still hoped you liked it!

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sleeplesssmol · 7 months ago

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What do you think about balloon party

Balloon Party has a special place in my heart. Her "creepy" mannerisms terrify adults. Pandora Wilson's even scared of her. I highly recommend reading her interview and item descriptions! However, I think people (in-game) misunderstand her. Yes she has the ability to mess up your internal organs, but that is a punishment reserved for abusers and sadists.

Balloon Party is not a monster, she's a protector of children.

She Punishes adults who abuse their kids and heals the little victims. Children flock to her and she makes them smile. She comforts them and they tell her their problems while she tries to cheer them up.

Her balloon serves as a warning to abusers that the child holding it is under her protection. Chapter 2 of her story provides an example of this. Her "counter" ability is even more interesting when you consider that this is her way of dealing with monsters who hurt others. She's like the monster under the bed, but for adults!

Her ultimate dialogue goes like this:

"The story begins with a bad adult. He did this first, then that, at last... boom!" This could be a reference to the the way abuse escalates. Fortunately it ends badly for the abuser instead of the victim thanks to her power. She's going after parents with patterns of abuse.

Vertin is also someone she wants to protect. Her intimacy voiceline goes like this:

"Please take my balloon with you, so that people can see it, and I can find you within a second."

If you read chapter 2 of her story, the context is chilling. If Vertin takes her balloon, it is a warning to people who want to hurt her that she is protected. Balloon Party will find her and her attacker in an instant and they will face her consequences. I think Balloon Party can tell Vertin was abused as a child by the Foundation. Here is another line:

"...I'm going out. Wanna come with me? Please?"

At first I thought this line was about her wanting company but perhaps she doesn't want to leave Vertin alone because then someone could hurt her. Another interesting tidbit:

"I wanna be like my parents, but not exactly the same. With these balloons, I can do what they can't."

Her parents were great doctors but terrible parents. Balloon Party genuinely wants to help people using her skill. One final thing because I think it's neat. Her Praise line to Vertin:

"You're the best party partner, the best kid and adult I've ever met! Although I don't understand what's a kid and what's an adult, I just wanna say, you're the best? You know what I mean?"

She sees Vertin as both a child she needs to protect and an adult who chooses to protect others. I feel like that's pretty high praise from our quirky partner. Balloon Party also saved my butt so many times in early game. She's a good healer!

#reverse 1999 #ask #balloon party

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year ago

Note

Hello love 🖤

Can I request an a-z fluffy hc for our big man Tangerine?

hii luv!! ARFG OFC OFC!! thanks for requesting, hope you like it💌 ps. that pic🫠

SFW ALPHABET

tangerine x implied female reader, 1.4k words

found lots of different templates, so I combined parts as wasn't sure

A = attractive (what do they find attractive about their partner?)

physically: feel like he's the kinda guy to like eyes. he's big on eye contact, so loves to look into your pretty eyes

mentally: I think he ironically likes morally good people. ones that are honest, selfless, kind. someone who has a good heart

B = baby (do they want a family? why/why not?)

I think yes, eventually, but because of work, there never seems to be the right time. if it happens, it happens. if it doesn't, it doesn't. but I don't think he's one to plan for one

C = cuddle (how do they like to cuddle?)

im thinking the ones when he leaves for work are his favourite. where you'd be standing by the door, arms wrapped around his middle, face in the crook of his neck, holding him tight. similarly, ones when he returns home and you're just so happy to see him

D = dreams (how do they picture their future with their S/O?)

I think the whole lot - married, kids, move somewhere when kids move out or when retire, then grow old and pruney together

E = emotions (are they open with their emotions?)

absolutely not, but he tries. he tells you he loves you and how special you are etc, but doesn't often share things bothering him or on his mind - he tends to keep that part separate

F = feelings (when did they know they’re in love?)

I think probably very early on. maybe when he realised you could keep up with him and play along with his humour. or that you could see through him right away and not be afraid of him

G = gratitude (how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their S/O does for them?)

yes, beyond grateful!! appreciates everything you do at home to keep things running smoothly when he's away. loves your cooking, appreciates how you love and care for him. he tells you often with words, also with gifts

H = honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their S/O?)

frankly, I think he keeps lots hidden/ doesn't share the whole truth about things. definitely minimises them too - "only a scrape," and he got shot in the arm. he does it so he doesn't scare you or fill you with dread. but he definitely tries to be more open

I = injury (how would they react if you got hurt?)

if someone hurt you? immediate death. not even a logical thought in his brain (won't actually (well...) kill them, but would have a strong desire to) if you hurt yourself he's tell you to be more careful and would help patch yourself up

J = jealousy (do they get jealous? how do they deal with it)

HA HA yes. absolutely. he's gotten better at handling it tho!! bc he now knows that he takes you home at night, not some minger at a bar. he def tries to intimidate the person talking to/ hitting on you and stares them down til they take the hint and back off

K = kiss (how do they kiss you? how do they like to be kissed?)

im thinking slow and sloppy. again ones when you say goodbye (or when he returns home) ones that are filled with love

L = love (who says ‘I love you’ first?)

I think maybe you. he's loved you long��before you admitted it, but he's not into getting rejected so he makes sure you feel the same way first (even though it's obvious you do)

M = memory (what’s their favorite memory together?)

when you first started dating and you surprised him at the airport to pick him up. just seeing your cute pretty face light up with love when you spot him

N = nickel (do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?)

you kidding??? baby, you're getting EVERYTHING you could ever want

O = on cloud nine (what are they like when they’re in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their feelings?)

completely smitten!! although he tries to keep your love life private, that face he makes when he's looking at you definitely gives it away. gets heart eyes, bc I say so

P = pet names (what pet names do they use?)

the best kinds. darling, love, honey, sweetheart, but not every syllable/ letter is pronounced bc his cockney accent - so like darling, with no g. it's an english thing so he says them all the time to everyone, but he has special ones that he only says to you or ways that he says them to just you - so they’re special

Q = questions (what are the questions they’re always asking?)

"im at the shop, do you want anything?" "where do you wanna go for dinner?" but he's not really one to ask philosophical questions

R = rainy day (what do they like to do on a rainy day?)

this is sfw so can't say what I usually would. but probs just movies on the sofa. maybe shared naps on the couch, or doing your own things in the same space - you reading, him filling out stuff on his laptop

S = support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?)

very very supportive. for you only, he's a great hypeman. encourages and pushes you along when you get stuck

T = talking (what do they like to talk about?)

I honestly don't think he enjoys talking that much. he's quite quiet and it can be comforting BUT.. again, he's english so complains about the shitty government all the time. idc if this is self-indulgent, but he hates the tories so he gets passionate about politics (absolutely no way that man is right wing)

U = understanding (how well do they know their partner? are they empathetic?)

he's the kind of person who listens when you don't think they are - he keeps catalogues of information about you in his brain, like your favourite childhood movie, your least favourite smell, all these simple facts about you - he remembers. he knows you better than you know yourself, so I do think he has a deep understanding of his partner. he's not necessarily empathetic all the time, but he has his moments where he is the sweetest

V = value (how important is the relationship to them? what is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

nothing else can or will ever compete or compare. you'd be the singularly most important thing to him, end of. he cares about his work and money ig, but when it comes down to the very core of it, none of that really matters

W = wedding (when, where, and how do they propose?)

I think both the proposal and wedding would be somewhere remote, quiet and intimate - somewhere that has meaning to you both. thinking late summer/ early autumn (he doesn't like the heat, so when it cools down)

X = XOXO (how affectionate are they? in public/in private)

he's not one for pda but at the same time, he likes people knowing you're his - so a hand on your knee/ thigh, a hand around your waist, sitting close to you. not a fan of making out in public, but doesn't refrain from a quick kiss here and there if he really can't help himself

but in private..?? he's all over you. kisses, lingering touches on your back when he walks past, hugs you from behind when you're doing bits around the house

Y = yearning (how well do they cope when they’re separated from their S/O?)

not good. he gets all mopey when he doesn't see you for a while, but can't let that get in the way of work, so when he's back at the hotel or car or somewhere safe he sends you a text, asking how you are, what you're up to. he just hates being apart from you

Z = zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?)

dude, he will literally kill and die for you

would rather choke than admit he is wrong - but at the root of it, he is willing to confess to mistakes if things were to ever get too far

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

#request #tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x you #tangerine headcanon #tangerine fluff #tangerine x fem!reader #sfw alphabet

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angel-2408 · 3 months ago

Text

His obsession

Yandere Bruce banner x male reader

All the Avengers were currently in the common room chatting about anything or everything, pizza and drinks were also present.

It was one of the team relaxation day even pepper and agent hill were also present.

You were snuggling up on Bruce chest on the sofa clearly fallen asleep mid conversation.

Bruce has a protective arm around you while he chat with the others.

Suddenly agent hill ask "Say Bruce have you heard about your boyfriend fans?".

Bruce frown not knowing where this conversation was taking , he knew you were popular, a bit too popular for his liking " Why? is something wrong?".

Maria shrug her shoulder "no it's just he's really and i mean really famous even among the shield agents you know, it's kinda funny because with how strict the agent's should be sometime it slip off about how many people has a crush on him".

Pepper also join in "yes indeed even among the staff in stark Industries it's really kinda scary and funny how famous he is, men and women alike pretty much very one has a crush on him". She laugh.

Bruce frown " I know what people think of him that doesn't mean i like it you know ".

Tony rub in smirking "oh is our Bruce jealous dont worry Brucie he's all yours he's too kind and nice to even think about cheating".

Bruce roll his eyes at Tony " Shut it Tony I know he won't cheat but that doesn't mean it won't worry me and you know how he is, he's too kind for his own good".

Bruce squeeze your delicate waist gently. Thor chim "Why? Do you perhaps not trust your partner?".

Bruce flinch " What?! No! Of course I trust him it's not him that i don't trust it's those 𝙨𝙣𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨 around him that i don't trust".

Everyone was quite at Bruce word when rhodey started laughing "well seems like our residental doctor also know how to curse".

Everyone started laughing and Tony smirk " I mean Capsicle should seriously learn and loss some of his steam off".

Steve groan "your never letting that go aren't you stark".

Tony shrug acting innocent but his smirk betrayed his intention.

As everyone started to chat about other stuff Bruce look down at your sleeping form snuggling up to him he gently squeeze your waist liking how adorable you look sleeping on his arm.

Just as he had said it's not that Bruce doesn't trust you it's those people that he doesn't trust. He doesn't trust that you'll be safe around those snake who'll try to take you away from him.

Bruce doesn't know how his life would be if he hadn't met you , if you hadn't reciprocated his feeling.

Hulk was totally obsessed with you too and Bruce? Oh he is willing to use violence if it come to the point where he has to keep you all to himself.

But not on you though Bruce can never hurt you he loves you too much to see you in pain or do anything that can make you terrified of him, when it comes to you Bruce has a fragile heart.

Bruce heart will break if he ever see you be terrified or scared of him so because of that he tries not to show his possessive side too much and tries to be subtle about his obsession over you.

Bruce knew he wasn't a good person and he had never felt this way before. He wanted to hurt those who made you cry or those that tries to take you away from him.

Even in his past relation Bruce mind had never cross such thought but you oh how willing he was too hurt just to have you all to himself.

Bruce had never felt so love and cared for, you were like an angel which the heaven is so desperately trying to rescue from Bruce and Bruce was a devil or a monster that had lock the precious angel just for himself.

From the moment you agreed to be his lover you had become everything to Bruce, you had become the world to him.

Bruce wonder how you would react if you ever found out about his dark thought , will you hate him? Will you be scared of him? Will you try to escape him? He doesn't know and he's not willing to know.

He prefer how is it right now. How you don't know about his dark thought , how you don't know about his dark desire to lock you up away from everyone eyes only for him to see, only for him to touch, only for him to love.

[I know kinda sounds creepy but hey it's a yandere theme you know btw hope you enjoy this piece (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧]

#bruce banner #yandere Bruce banner #Bruce banner x male reader #avengers x male reader #yandere Bruce banner x male reader #yandere bruce banner x reader

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666writingcafe · 9 months ago

Text

On the Front Page

"Good morning, MC," Solomon greets as I walk into the kitchen. "How did your day go yesterday?"

"Oh, it went fine," I reply, grabbing a seat at the table. "Just doing standard attendant things."

"Huh-uh." Solomon seems unconvinced. "So, nothing interesting happened?"

"I mean, I did a favor for Barbatos, but other than that, no."

"I see." He pauses. "Do you see the newspaper sitting across from you?"

"Yes."

"Grab it and read its headline. Aloud."

"Introducing the Eight Rulers of the Underworld," I quote. "Son of a bitch! He's my dog!"

"So you admit it, then? You tamed Cerberus yesterday." Glancing up from the newspaper, I notice that Solomon looks rather irritated.

"Only because Barbatos thought I'd be able to."

"Right. So, if he told you to jump off a cliff, you'd do it."

"No, of course not! What's your problem, Solomon?!"

"My problem is that you could have gotten hurt, MC. Part of my job is to ensure that you're able to return back to our timeline, and I can't do that if you keep risking your life like this."

"First of all, I'm not about to have you dictate my actions, and second of all, Barbatos would have bailed me out if things went south--"

"Dammit, MC, what are you not understanding?!" Solomon's raised voice spooks me. "I'm your partner! We arrived here together! I know that you're supposed to blend in, but I'm not about to lose you to the past just because you're too scared to tell Barbatos no."

"Are you jealous, Solomon?" Yes, I understand that he's worried about my well being, and I can respect that to an extent, but that doesn't entirely explain his behavior right now.

He storms over to me and leans in close to my face.

"To tell you the truth, yes, I am," he murmurs. "I know that you're a strong, independent person that doesn't necessarily need me around, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you and want to be in your life as much as I possibly can. Will you at least consider that next time before you do something reckless without my knowledge?"

I swallow nervously. It was never my intention to upset Solomon.

"I'm sorry," I quietly reply. "I should have told you what I was doing." Solomon's face softens.

"I accept your apology." He pecks me on the lips, but before he can go too far away, I stand up and pull him closer to me, deepening the initial kiss.

"Have you heard anything from the brothers?" Solomon whispers once we finally break away.

"No, not yet."

"Good." His voice deepens. "Hopefully they leave you alone for the next hour or so, because I don't think I'm quite ready to have you leave just yet."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

#obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me solomon

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silvershiningtarot · 2 years ago

Text

PAC 18+ 👐🏾A Little Love Letter from your Soulmate & Twin Flame ~ Pick a Pile.

❤️A channeled Message from your future partners. Take what resonates and what doesn't. You can pick more than one pile.

Our time doesn't stop. I just wanna know how you feel about me. You wanna know how I feel about you? I dream about you all the time. I feel that our souls are already married. Can you feel it? I get this shocked feeling when I hold your hand in my dreams. I know your face. Remember that. In our past life, we were hunted down. I don't know why I said that but I guess it was meant to be said. I am your person whether or not you believe it. When you sing in the middle of the night, I can hear you. I love that curve body you got. I will be watching you over from the stars. I have incarnated myself to meet you. Can you believe that now? My sweet love ❤️, Do you remember me? You told me that you remember. How can you forget? You and I are the same. Our soul is the same. I don't like labels. Or you might like labels. You probably consider me a rebel but I’m not I just don't like labels. You and I share the same soul. You know that right? I feel that you run away from me because you're scared. No need to be. I got you. I won't let you fall. Of course, you dream about other dudes, and you think that they are husbands but they are not. I am your fucking husband. You piss me off when you don't believe it. You think I can't hear you, but I do. That shit hurts my feelings when you do. Sometimes I distance myself away from you because you push me away. Not me… You! I raise my voice at you, but I tried to call you, but you didn't answer me. Ugh, shit sucks. We are telepathically connected can you feel that? I know this may scare you but I know your name. I know your name seriously. But I am not going to say it. Look at that 3:33. I like it when you dress up so beautifully. Thank you so much, for taking care of yourself. I am glad you are eating. I feel that we should talk more about our life together. Our future life. I have a good feeling that our love lives here will be perfect. I know you see me as a baby daddy. I know I got kids but at the end of the day. My kids are taken care of. You shouldn't be worrying about our kids. That's right I said it my kids are your kids too. We are a family together. From another life before us, you tried to escape with me. But we were caught, I have dreams about our life before. It was just bad. But the good part is I was with you. No matter if I were send-off to war at that time. See! Our clock is going clockwise. Sing to me, my love. Do you dream about our life too? You are such a brilliant person. When I was a young child I manifest you, I remembered watching fairytale movies with my sibling dreaming that is us on the television. I am your beast and you are my beauty. My heart has been cold 🎿 Can you warm 🔅 it up? I love it when you rough me up in your dreams. My dominance-Matrix. Sorry, I tried to be sexy with my words. Obviously, that didn't work. I am such a geek 🤓. Hey, do you watch Revenge of the Nerds? Booger is my favorite character the way he burps is fucking awesome. Haha 😂. We got something in common. Your dreams are my dreams. I am coming to you. Can I cuddle next to you? I wanna touch your soft skin. That makes me feel so happy. I know you are an aggressive woman. But I don't care! Call me bad names, and tied me down if you have. Unleash the monster out of you. 😉😜. Are you ready for your kiss with me? I wrote you this love letter for you. I know you might not wanna hear this I wanna talk to you. Your other father from your past life is saying sorry for locking you up in that castle. My darling, I want you to be okay. I love you very much. He comes to me in my dreams sometimes. But anyway, please don't be mad at me. I am your husband. I miss your voice, and I miss everything about you. I have a breeding kink. So you are going to carry my kids. That's a guarantee.

Hey, chocolate drip 💧 how are you? I'm sorry 💔 that I wasn't ready. I know I send you the wrong message in your dream. Just know that I love every minute of it. Hanging out with you, and hearing your voice. It sounded sexy to me. That shit turns me on. Woah, do you know how sexy you are? You wake up sexy. I've been feeling drained lately. My energy has been drained. I have my good days and I have my bad days. You're my soulmate. I know you don't like labels but I like it. I've been emotional, and I just wanna cry 😭. I wake up thinking about you. I just needed someone to talk to. I still feel alone. I feel that nobody gets me. I tried to put a smile on my face. I feel that someone is after me, I don't know if it bad way or a good way. Look it's 10:10. I'm glad I'm talking to you. You're my new beginning. My fresh start. I know I wasn't ready. I got scared 😱. I was frightened to meet you. I know I let my fear get in the way between us but not this time. I know this sounds fucking weird but I am glad you are being patient with me💞. I am glad you are not running away from me. I can't believe I daydream about you all the time. What would you be like? What kind of future you and I will have? What our babies would look like? I have so many questions to ask you, my dear. See, when I talk to you, I don't think about my problems ⚠️ like that. Your energy, light, and your whole aura just make me happy. I feel all giggling now. Hahaha 🥹😂. I just wanted to talk to you. So how did you sleep? Did you dream about me? I dreamt about you. You are my divine counterpart. I can hear your sweet voice in my head saying my feelings matter. I haven't been okay. Sorry for bringing the mood down. Who am I to tell you to wait on me? Of course, I want you to go out there and fucking date people. You get it. I didn't say to date someone I said people in general. I don't care if I sound possessive or clingy. But I am clingy to you. Everything on your body is mine. It's like you mindfuck me. In a good way. I am not telling you to wait, but I'm hoping 🙏🏾 that you wait. I am truly praying that you wait. Anyways, good morning to you. Or should I say Grand Rising🔅? I pray 🙏🏾 for you all the time. You know that right every single day I pray for you. I hope you can hear my prayers🙏🏾. Anyways, I love you. I wanna tell you my life story. I mean you know some of it because of what I told the world about and the media. But I still feel shut down. I've been doing a lot of self-work on myself. Like literally been doing shadow work. I have been recognizing a lot of my bullshit, people's fakeness, and my trauma.

Oooh, Hii! Baby. I feel so excited talking to you. It's like you are my energy drink. It's been an honor talking to you. I hope you are having a good day. I remember when I was young I used to draw little hearts ❤️ because I thought about my future wife as a child. So now I'm all grown up. How do you feel about us? How do you feel hearing this story? I have been manifesting you for a very long time. I never thought you exist but you do. Sometimes my friends laugh at me. But do I pay any of those bitches no mind? Hell, the fuck no. They think I'm delusional and you don't exist. You only exist in my head. Hear how that shit sounds. Fucking dumb right? Anyways. Yesterday!! 🤗💯 I hugged you, did you feel it? Our Love is like Disney movies 🎬 but ten times better than any other Disney movies. I've been healing myself. We are going to have a successful life. I love that we are going to be successful. Our connection is fate and we are each other’s destiny. So allow me to introduce myself.

I have a little message to tell you. I just wanna say that I have a huge crush on you. Do You know why I say that? Is because I had a dream about you. I finally saw who you are. Your face is gorgeous. You have the most beautiful face in the world🌸. Can I give you a rose 🌹? I wrote you this letter because I want you to remember that you are something special to me. You are very special. The way how I feel about you. I want you right now. Everything about you brights up my world. I wish that I was right there next to you. Good morning to you. You gave me so much hope. You are such a positive and great human being. You are so caring for the world👐🏾. Baby 👶🏾, are you pregnant? Not yet huh ❔ well you will be soon. I have a breeding kink. I love getting you pregnant. So the way you care for children, makes me feel that you should have kids of your own. I'm glad you are waiting patiently. I love you so much. You are my love. ❤️❤️🌹Will you take my rose? As an honor of my appreciation to you. I appreciate you.

We are each other's perfect match. We are each other's equal. You belong with me forever. See! I said it because you are my favorite person in the world to me. How are you feeling today? Is everything okay, I hope that it is. Because if it isn't, please let me know. I'll put a spell on these fools who are hurting you. I'm not kidding around. I do magic ✨. So again if anyone is bothering you. Just wink 😉 at me. I'll get the message. But anyway enough of that negativity. I hope you are waking up doing yoga. Meditating and just relaxing your mind. I do yoga sometimes. I always meditate because meditation helped me. I was in your shoes before. I was in a dark place but now I realize that I can't fucking seat around and just wait for the universe help me grow. I told myself I want to grow. So I made it my mission to change my life around. Now I feel better. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days but I'm good 🌟. So again, my love I want you to focus on yourself, their problem isn't your problem. Whoever got the drama, don't fucking get involved. That shit pissed me off. So you better begin a new change in your life baby. Anyways that's my message to you. Grow baby, Grow! Not for me, your family, or your friends but for yourself. Have better self-control. Whenever you feel down, angry or sad, or just not in the mood. Go ahead and talk to me🥲. I always talk to you. Listen to my message.

#free tarot reading #pac reading #tarot reading #fs pick a pile #tarot cards #divination readings #intuitive readings #pac reblog #love reading #future spouse #pick a pile #paid services #paid readings #free readings #channeled reading #channeled message #future lover

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forever-rogue · 2 years ago

Note

Hello there Bee, your writing for Miguel O'Hara was perfect, thank you so much for it 🫂

I was wondering if you could do one where he's so deeply in love with her but doesn't want to tell her because he's afraid of being rejected, he wants to protect her so they always go to missions together until one day she gets hurt and because he's afraid of loosing her, he finally tells her how he's been feeling for a long time

Thank you so much c:

AN | It’s been a minute but here we are with some more grumpy x sunshine! I hope you enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Nondescript mentions of violence, Language

Pairing | Miguel x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3k

Masterlist | Main, Spider-Man

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Inhale. Exhale.

That's what you kept repeating to yourself as you approached the front doors to the Spider Headquarters. Your heart beat around your chest but you tried to push away all your worries and insecurities.

Well - the one major worry you had anyway. Most things didn't scare you anymore, you were well past that point in your life. It was one singular person that made you nervous. Miguel O'Hara.

The man that appeared to hate you more than anything or anyone else. You weren't even sure what you had done to bring on the hatred but it had appeared slowly at first and then all at once. Now you just tried to avoid him as much as you could, but in the event that you were faced with him, you tried to be as kind as possible. There was no reason to be mean, right? You hoped that one day Miguel might get that memo as well.

When you got inside, you looked around and tried to see if anything seemed out of place or…if there was some sort of chaos. But it all seemed utterly normal so you walked towards your little desk area.

"Hey there!" You startled at the sound of Peter's bright and happy voice, spinning around in your chair to find him watching you with an overly cheery smile, "how're you today?"

"I'm just peachy, Pete. What's going on?" The man's face flushed and you knew immediately that something was going on. He was so easy to read despite his best efforts.

"Umm…well," he waved his hands around for a moment, stammering nervous as you just stared at him, "well, I don't…your day might get worse."

"Oh?" You leaned back in your chair as you raised an eyebrow at him, "and just why is that? What do you know that I don't?"

"You're supposed to be partnered with…Miguel today," he said it so quickly that you almost didn't catch it. But the name stood out so clearly that you were immediately able to figure out what was going on, "just so you know, you know?"

"How do you know that?"

"Word spreads fast around here," he volunteered lamely, as you sighed at him, "and ugh, it might be my fault."

"What?!" He was afraid of exactly this reaction and flinched slightly, "Peter - why?"

"I have to be home today," he cleared his throat, "big family thing with MJ and Mayday. So…you know."

"Fine," you pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration, "fine. Only because I love your wife and daughter as much if not more than you."

"I am so sorry," he grimaced, "I'll make it up to you somehow."

"It's…it's fine," you swallowed the lump in your throat. It did suck…but you'd live and would just be as kind as usual. And it would be over before you knew it, "this is going to be…fantastic."

“Just don’t kill each other and it should all be fine,” Peter kept taking a few steps back, creating a further distance between the two of you, “and then we can all resume our normal programming next week!”

“I don’t hate him,” your voice softened as a frown tugged down the corners of your mouth. You truly didn’t hate him and you hated the idea that people would think you did. You always tried to treat everyone with the same kindness and you were known for being a ray of sunshine, “I think… I think he might hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Peter shrugged slightly as you sighed lightly, “he’s just that way with everyone. He’s a huge douche, you know that.”

“As much as I appreciate your opinions Parker,” both of you froze at the sound of his voice. He sounded just as annoyed and frustrated as ever, “I believe you were supposed to leave already to get back to your wife and daughter, no?”

“Uhh, yup…that’s…gotta go!” he looked between the two of you before offering you a small grimace and turning to basically sprint away. You bit the inside of your cheek before turning your attention to the man in question.

“Miguel, I-”

“Get suited up,” he didn’t even spare you an actual glance. He merely caught your eye before turning around to leave again, “we’re leaving in twenty. We’ve got a job to do.”

“Miguel.”

“Don’t be late,” he was already walking away again and all you could do was sigh, “or I will leave with you.”

Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool. This apparently was going to be the absolute worst; part of you was almost tempted to be late just so you wouldn’t have to go. You weren’t feeling very welcome but at the same time, your duties were important and you weren’t about to let him go alone.

“Well then,” you attempted to psych yourself up, “let’s do this…and get it over with.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Miguel had been silent, to the point of it being almost eerie, besides giving you some instructions and directions. You'd tried to make some small talk at the start but the only responses you received were grunts or scoffs. It had definitely deflated your mood and after a while you gave up and remained silent.

"Hey," Miguel waved his hand in front of your face as you snapped back into attention. You hadn't realized you'd spaced out so much, "are you even paying attention?"

"Y-yeah…yes," you offered him a tight smile as he hung his head with a heavy sigh, "sorry. Could you just run that by me again?"

"I need you to focus," he caught your eye and there was a dangerous glint to him that caused you to swallow thickly, "otherwise I'll send you right back and this is the last time you'll get to go on a mission."

"That's not fair!" You hadn't meant to sound like a petulant child, but at least you hadn't also stomped your foot. His jaw twitched as he glared at you, "you've never said that to anyone-"

"Morales."

"He's a child," you ran a hand through your hair in exasperation, "this isn't fair, Miguel and you know that. Why do you hate me so much?"

If you'd been looking at his face you'd have noticed the way his face fell momentarily. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to control the squeaking and stop the tears that threatened to well up.

"You're also so mean to me!" Alright. Maybe you were already sounding hysterical but it was a lot of emotions at once, "its always me! I try to be nice, Miguel. I don't like not being nice, it's just…not in my nature. But you make it so hard. A-and I'm not asking for anything spectacular, just a hello once a while or at least don't totally ignore me when I'm talking to you!"

“Are you finished?” his tone was the same as it always was: cold and calm and calculated. You tried to blink away the burning of your eyes.

“No,” you put your hands on your hips and stared him down, “if you’re going to be mean to me or act like I’m the worst thing in the world, can you at least tell me what I did to offend you so much? I mean - why even have me working with you and the rest of the team if you don’t trust me or think I’m worthy of being here! If I’m such a horrible person, just cut me loose and let me go so you never have to see me again!”

By the time you were done, angry tears had run down your cheeks which you hastily brushed away. You felt like you had just put your heart and feelings on the line and he didn’t seem phased. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow before sighing heavily, “if you’re done, we’ve got some bad guys to catch.”

“Y-you’re not even going to say anything to what I just said?” your lip trembled with effort not to cry further. He’d already turned his back to you and started to walk away. Only this time, you didn’t run after him to catch up, “fine! You know what? I quit! Do this yourself!”

You didn’t even wait for a response before turning on your heel and walking in the other direction. You were already out of sight by the time Miguel turned around and realized that you’d been serious. He ran a hand over his face in exasperation before stomping after you, muttering under his breath. He hadn’t wanted this at all; especially because this meant that he couldn’t keep any eye on you.

“Hey!” you’d been walking around for a bit when you finally heard the angry voice. Your shoulders stiffened when you realized that Miguel had found you. Instead of giving him the satisfaction of falling back to him, you kept walking with your head held high. But then you felt a harsh hand wrap your bicep and pull you back.

“What the f-”

“Finally,” oh. That voice definitely wasn’t Miguel. You slowly turned around and found yourself with…well, the bad guy. He looked at you with a wicked smile that caused goosebumps to well up all over your skin, “I’ve been looking for you, little Spider. Only I was hoping you’d be with that big, dumb guy.”

“Listen buddy,” you tried to pull out of his iron grasp to no avail, “I’m already having a shitty day and I don’t need you making it worse. The big dumb guy isn’t around, it’s just me unfortunately. And I recommend you let me go before I make you regret your decision.”

“You’re so funny,” he leaned closer so he was almost face to face with you. He smelled terrible and looked even worse; the worst realization of all was that he was a murderer…and you were alone with him, “you really think you could stop me all by yourself? So cute.”

He reached out and ran his hand along your jaw, instantly making you feel disgusting and gross. Your heart started beating rapidly and you willed yourself to regain your muster and strength. It should have been so easy to overpower him, but he was surprisingly strong. That was one of the worst things about dealing with other powered beings…someone always had the upper hand.

“Let me go,” you hissed through gritted teeth.

“Why don’t we make a deal?” he took your jaw harshly in his hand turned your face to his, “help me catch Miguel O’Hara and I’ll let you go.”

“Nope,” you might not have been in the Miguel fanclub at this point but you weren’t about to betray him or put anyone else at risk. You figured that the longer you were able to stall, it might give Miguel more time to get to you and take him. You’d never hear the end of it, but it was better than nothing, “sorry buddy.”

“Bitch!” he let go and pushed you back before striking you across the face, causing you to stumble and trip over your feet. You feel onto your backside with a groan before touching your stinging face, “it could have been so easy! We both want the same thing - to get rid of the Spider!”

“I don’t want to get rid of him,” you tried to scramble to your feet as he loomed over you but your hope was quickly starting to dissipate, “he-he’s fine! The only person I want to get rid of you is you!”

“Too bad,” he cackled before shrugging his shoulders, “I hate to break the news to you, but you’re not getting rid of me. I’ll be getting rid of you…and eventually that big idiot will come looking for you and then I’ll have him too. A two or one deal - can you imagine? What a dream!”

“Hate to break it to you,” your hands before getting scraped up as you tried to pull yourself out of his reach, “but he’s not going to come looking for me. He doesn’t care that much.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” you couldn’t hold back the scream that escaped your lips as he stepped on your ankle and crushed it under his boot, “you’re a pretty face, that’s enough for most men to come running. It’s almost a shame to kill you but-”

The next thing you heard was a sickening crack before the pressure on your ankle was gone. You opened your eyes and looked around the alley, only to find your would-be murderer on the ground and bleeding. A choked up sound escaped your lips as you looked up to find Miguel standing over you.

You prepared yourself for him to begin yelling but, to your immense surprise, it never came. Instead you watched dumbly as he bent down and scooped into your arms and stood back up with you clutched to his chest.

He studied you for a moment before tenderly wiping away the little bit of blood that had trickled down from the corner of your mouth. You had never realized that he could actually have such a gente touch.

For a few moments he walked in silence before letting a heavy sigh and shaking his head, “I don’t hate you. I never did.”

Your brow furrowed in surprise but you remained silent. Your head felt foggy and you weren’t sure you wanted to push anything just yet. All you wanted to do was go home and get some rest.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A few days had passed since the incident with Miguel and you felt well recovered, except for the faint bruising that remained on your face. Really, though, that was the least of your worries. Ever since then, you’d been trying your best to avoid Miguel, while continuing to be surprised that he hadn’t booted you from the team yet.

“Hey,” you froze at the sound of his voice and turned around to find Miguel standing at the edge of your cubicle space. You swallowed thickly before squeaking out a response that made you cringe internally, “can we talk?”

“Umm…yes?” you looked at him and waited for him to make the next move. He turned and motioned for you to follow him. It felt like some sort of walk of shame as you trailed after him like a puppy. He didn’t stop, ignoring the whispers and titters from the other Spider-People as he beelined for his office. You kept your gaze trained on your feet and almost ran into him when he suddenly stopped, “oof.”

“Sorry,” you’d never heard him apologize before. Odd. He closed the door behind and leaned against it, “listen, I think we need to clear some things up.”

“We do?”

“Mhmm,” this time he found it difficult to look in your eyes as you hopped up and sat at the edge of his desk, swinging your legs, “I just…I don’t want you to think that I hate you know or ever hated you. It’s never been like that.”

“Could have fooled me,” you shrugged slightly, already having made peace with his dislike of you.

“I know, I…fuck,” he ran a hand over his face in exasperation, “It was supposed to be easier this way.”

“What way?”

“If you hated me,” he finally managed to get out as you blinked at him owlishly, “then it would have made it easier for him to keep my distance.”

“But I don’t hate you,” you shook your head, “I don’t hate anyone…and I could never hate you.”

“Even now?” he chuckled harshly, “when you definitely should?”

“Even now,” you confirmed you heard his small exhale of relief, “now I just…I guess I’m just confused as to how you do feel about me.”

“When you left me and I couldn’t find you and then…when you’d been hurt…I thought…” he trailed off, clearly at a loss for words. You let his words sink in and tried to process the meaning behind him, “I didn’t know what I would do if anything had happened to you. All I could think about was beating that bastard to a bloody pulp.”

“Oh,” the gears were definitely turning as you came closer and closer to your conclusion. And then it hit you all at once and your entire face turned warm. You looked over at Miguel and could see that his cheeks were a darkened pink, “oh.”

“Umm…yeah,” he scratched at the back of his neck nervously before nodding slightly, “I just never know what to do or say. I-I’ve never been good with words. Keeping people at a distance makes things easier. If there’s no attachment then there’s no room or heartbreak.”

“I understand that,” you agreed softly, “but that’s no way to live.”

“I’m starting to see that,” he allowed himself to meet your eye and the two of you exchanged shy smiles, “so I guess I just wanted to say sorry.”

“Is that all you wanted to say?” you felt a little bolder now, nerves buzzing with everyone he had said and things that were left unspoken.

“No,” he agreed, “but it’s a good starting point, I think.”

“Yeah,” you nodded softly, “I think so too.”

“Cool,” he ran a hand through his hair nervously, “cool. Listen, I…want to do this right. So can I umm, do you want to-”

“Yes,” you slid off the desk and almost skipped over to him, “I’d love to.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara one shot #spider man 2099 #oscar isaac #spider-man

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obsidianpen · 8 months ago

Note

Brief Essay on V's sexual preferences w/ Harry, from a D/s perspective (mostly in answer to that one anon who asked about sub Voldemort, I'm so sorry this turned into a monster):

I think OP is correct that for the way V relates to Harry, it's definitely submission in context. There's no universal definition of dominance or submission for BDSM, and I think that what literature is out there has a tendency to oversimplify a lot of the nuance involved in real life (for example, (1) a lot of partners may switch roles rather than permanently being a Dom or a sub, (2) the fact that submission in the bedroom doesn't inherently imply a submissive personality, and (3) the existence of non-sexual BDSM).

Voldemort is not a submissive personality in general. He's arrogant, enjoys being obeyed, and likes to have things go exactly to plan -- a pattern of enjoying control that could imply his preference at having control in the bedroom as well, and we do see him attempt that with Harry (his preference for being called Master in NG coming to mind). If Harry genuinely enjoyed/was satisfied with submitting to him sexually while still maintaining his general level of defiance, I think he would be decently happy with that, but this is where we hit our first major bump in the road:

Harry is not a submissive personality, at all. Historically, we will in fact watch him double down against someone he considers an opponent at great personal cost to himself (Umbridge and the Blood Quills come to mind) rather than submit to avoid pain or humiliation. He has been fighting for his life and the lives of his friends against adults who were all bigger, stronger, and scarier than him since he was 11 and the fact that Voldemort is (thus far) the worst of the lot doesn't actually shake him because Voldemort is just the kingpin of the exact thing he's spent his whole life training to fight. Voldemort's hyper-controlling Dark Lord tendencies just aren't frightening for him in the same way because his fear response is, at this point, pretty broken. Voldemort can traumatize him, but he can't scare him off as effectively, and that makes him hard to control.

Aside from this, all of Harry's survival instincts are shot to hell. By the end of book 7 and the beginning of NG, he was very much suicidal (and I would probably argue still is, to a degree). He doesn't necessarily want V to hurt or even kill him, but the instinct to avoid that outcome has been suppressed in him, leading Harry to regularly refuse to capitulate or submit. Fundamentally, Harry values exercising his control over V more than his own safety, which puts Voldemort in a very sticky position.

Voldemort needs to care about Harry's health more than Harry does, because if he leaves Harry to his own devices then the boy will just get himself killed and V will be mortal again (not to mention totally fucked in terms of his addiction to Harry's soul). However, he can't scare Harry into being safe or taking care of himself because Harry does not give two shits about his own safety -- all of those restrictions (not committing suicide, the Elixar of Life, occulemency lessons) have to come from V. Getting Harry to comply with those restrictions requires some level of capitulation on the part of V, which sets the scene for V being willing to sacrifice some of his power to ensure Harry's safety. This helps set the behavioral pattern for V trading some of his power to Harry under select circumstances, but doesn't generate the desire to: that comes from his fondness and admiration for Harry, and his hatred of himself.

Within the NG canon, we know that V is decently fond of Harry, even when he's annoyed with him and Harry's refusing to submit. As seen with the events leading up to the wedding/Ruination, V likes getting defiance out of Harry and is disappointed when Harry is able to keep his own emotions under wraps. The problem here is that Harry doesn't really give two shits about V outside of political power and a (newly) pretty face -- the fondness only goes one way. V was able to lie to himself before the rape in Ruination that Harry may have been interested in him, but that's been a much harder front to keep up since he fundamentally believes he didn't deserve Harry's mercy or forgiveness in An Offering of Peace. V likes Harry as a person and Harry... doesn't. On this front, they're united, since V doesn't like himself much either.

We see a lot of V's self-loathing from both his POV's outside of the official story and from Harry's aura-sight in NG. All of Harry's claims about him have slowly been coming true, and the accusation of "Monster" has absolutely been living rent-free in that man's head since the wedding. For the first time, Voldemort consciously believes it about himself in a way that doesn't involve thinking he knows best or papering over any insecurities with more arrogance. After An Offering of Peace, he receives Harry's mercy and (somewhat) forgiveness, but not his esteem, which is almost more damning because it means that Voldemort has nothing to offer in return except more of his power and control.

Which leads us to the core of why I think ServiceTop!Voldemort has been dipping his feet into the submissive side of the pool: Voldemort hates Voldemort, and Harry at least kind of hates Voldemort, but Voldemort admires Harry and likely wishes that Harry felt the same way about him, because it would mean that there was something in himself that he could believe was worth admiring. He believes he can't get that (and might never get that), but he can make Harry at least temporarily pleased with him when they have sex.

V would likely both love it and hate it if Harry tried to take more control during sex -- love, because if Harry is controlling him then it means that Harry wants him, and if he keeps doing what Harry wants then he's something worth wanting. Hate, because he still wants Harry to like him for more than just sex and political favors, not to mention the internal battle he likely has to fight every time he gives up even an ounce of control.

I don't think V could bring himself to submit all the time -- he does still enjoy control in general, being called 'Master' and hearing Harry beg for him -- but I think he would also enjoy being on Harry's leash in more ways that one, not in the least because it would mean that Harry wanted him in some capacity. I imagine he wouldn't submit 100% of the time, but he would also want it on the days when his desire for Harry's approval outweighs his desire for control. If Harry genuinely showed no interest in him / pure ambivalence aside from practical necessity, I think V would honestly be heartbroken to a degree.

wow. What an essay. And entirely accurate. Voldemort really has turned into such a mess, with his closeted self-loathing and even more closeted deep-seated desire to be truly wanted and even, oh no, loved (a desire that he knows he doesn’t deserve and is so afraid of he can’t even begin to think of how he would express it).

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peachsayshi · 28 days ago

Note

About brutally soft reader x SUKUNA

I love how you write their dynamic with eachother and their daughter, especially the feelings she has towards SUKUNA and the small jealousy she feels just thinking about him and other women.

But I’ve got some thoughts

I understand her seeing the good in him and him being a great father but a great father isn’t always a great partner. He might have cleaned his mess up as far as she knows, we the readers of course know more.

You gave us some look into their past relationship and how toxic they were to eachother.

While people should stay in the present and look towards the future, her past shaped her. Does she trust him fully? Are there other feelings like resentment and anger she sometimes feels towards him, especially as she realizes how her daughter is growing up without two parents in the same house and how it will impact her?

While she loves her daughter, won’t she still have some anger towards him for having to take care of her all the time and work, while he has so much freedom?

Does she feel guilty for still liking him?

Does she have recurring nightmares or flashbacks as soon as she sees or talks about cheating? Does she see his cheating partner sometimes in the city and does she get that gut wrenching feeling.

There are a lot of questions I have regarding her character.

While you show the positive side of their co parenting I would love to see the negative aspects. How it impacted her her future (unexpected pregnancy), other relationships she had(parents, friends…), relationships with other men after sukuna?

How she sees her daughter, does her daughter miss him a lot or does she see a lot of sukuna in her daughter? Does reader still have some kind abandonment issues or trust issues with other people in her life because of the relationship?

Is it maybe the other relationship that seems to be on and off, that makes her yearn for sukuna who is not only her baby daddy but seems to be stable in life?

I hope it does not come off as aggressive or rude but I am really interested to see her have some female rage and anger she will express toward sukuna.

nonnie!! please don't ever apologize!! as a writer I live for these kind of questions!! I am just an awe that you that this fic made you this interested like I am truly beyond flattered. okay, okay let's break it down: "a great father isn't always a great partner" is the basis of what this story is about. regarding your question on trust, I will say that the reader does not trust him - he had to repair that trust himself. and it took him years to do it. the fact that he cheated on her isn't a small thing (to either the reader or sukuna). he lives with that mistake and the reader lives with that hurt. in one of my previous posts about them, I mention how all of this changed when sukuna found out you were pregnant. the thing is, he grew up with shitty parents. he wasn't about to turn into one himself. I don't think she resents him as much. because she truly didn't even think that he would step up to the plate and be an actual father to his child. she only revealed her pregnancy out of moral obligation, but she was clear that she doesn't expect him to be involved. the fact that sukuna is putting in the effort is more of a surprise to the reader herself.

now regarding the freedom thing, I definitely think that's more of a choice on the reader's part. sukuna wants more team, but our reader keeps the boundaries for a reason. let's not forget that she knew and loved sukuna at his worst. saw how irresponsible he could be. saw how selfish some of his actions were. I think a small part of her believes that if she isn't too cautious, he might slip up. that's the reader taking control of a situation that she cannot predict. I don't think she feels guilty for liking sukuna, I think she's scared that those feelings are still there. how could she still want someone who hurt her in that way? how could she think it would be safe to go back to him? that's what I was really trying to portray in the updated part of their little story. without giving away too much of the story, she definitely does bring it up in conversation with sukuna and it's an extremely sore point for both of them. it's the only time she sees how small he looks in her eyes. he carries so much shame with that mistake, with that woman...

oh there definitely will be some insight on the negative aspects - but it will be framed in a way to show sukuna's growth. the point is to highlight his redemption journey, rather than him being a shitty guy. however, that past still exists in both his and the reader's memory. and regarding abandonment and trust issues: they both definitely deal with it in their own way. in this particular case, it's sukuna who gave did it to her. his parents did it him.

I briefly talk about sukuna's childhood, and how compared to his brother yuji he had to witness his parents because a healthy, loving couple towards his younger brother. sukuna never got any of that. and it kills him that the same abandonment and trust issues they gave him, he just off loaded onto you with his own shitty mistakes.

sukuna's daughter is so much like him in so many ways. you can definitely see that but you believe she got the best parts of sukuna rather than the worst. and he only wants to show her the good, not the bad.

I hop this answers some of your questions! I really can't wait to explore more parts of these two - and see how their dynamic unfolds. I think as of now, sukuna simply resigns in his role as being your baby daddy and nothing else. he really wants to show you that you can rely on him, but it just isn't that easy for the reader to give in to him like she used to.

#anon.💌#brutally soft #baby daddy sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader

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lieran03 · 2 months ago

Text

Universe

Love and Deepspace Fanfic

It doesn't matter how many universe he will go. Xavier will search for her, Xavier would search the whole universe. Just so he could meet her again.

Xavier will fnd her.

Because that's love.

His love.

Song inspiration: Universe - EXO Genre: angst Pairing: Xavier x fem!reader (the character has no name called) Words: 4.2k Warning: I added a scene from Xavier's anecdotes, beware of spoiler! Originally posted on AO3: HERE!

I have a writing commission open, check it out if you're interested! Info is HERE~ [repost are very appreciated]

ENJOY~!

Xavier was a possessive man.

He didn’t care if others called him sweet, or if someone said he was so dreamy, even Xavier himself wanted to prove that he was possessive. He is possessive towards the person he really loves, which is only one. There was only one person he would always act possessive with. Yet, whenever he was with that person, all acts suddenly became sweet. For her, all he did was take care of her within his mysteries.

Is possessing over someone always called love? Or when loving someone makes it right to be possessive towards them? Xavier could never find the answer. He gives up to find the answer to those questions he never really knows why pops out. When he saw that little girl, hugging the stuffed bunny toy in her little arms, does it even matter? Or is it even right to be greedy over a person who would never remember him at all?

“You’re an amazing Hunter! I wish one day I could be your partner and defeat the Wanderer together! We will be the best partner out there!”

“No one is fit to be my partner,” Xavier would say, his tone was aggressive, while his stare from the back of his mask resembled a deep glare.

The little girl couldn’t help but feel scared of him. Was it wrong to dream about being a Hunter? Was it wrong for her to wish to have a partner as amazing as Xavier? Like Lumiere. As Xavier watches the girl’s expression change, his heart becomes heavy. He shouldn’t have become too rough, he shouldn’t have said things like that. After all, in another universe ….

“I don’t even think someone like you will able to be a Hunter. You’re too fragile and you wouldn’t be able to hold a gun. Besides that ….” Xavier stares longer at the girl, looking at how she wanted to cry already. “You have a weak heart.”

Opposed to what Xavier felt, to what his heart told him to do—saying encouraging words—Xavier could only let out hurtful words, he could only wound the girl’s heart. But what if, she never becomes a Hunter? Then, she probably would be safe from anything, she wouldn’t be in danger all the time. Xavier thought, maybe his hurtful words would able to make her back down, to let her live longer.

“I always need to search for you, Xavier! How many times do I have to say? Please pick up your phone! I thought you were dead, you know?”

“I was asleep,” Xavier answered lazily. Though the woman who walked closer to him was fuming, he only rubbed his eyes, trying to chase away the sleep from his mind.

“I know!” Once the woman was right in front of him, she was grumbling to herself before continue her words. “What was I expecting? Of course, you were asleep, and for the first time I thought you would remember our promise.”

It wasn’t his.

Or was that really him? His mind felt foggy, but it wasn’t from the drowsiness inside of him. He no longer have the ability to differentiate a lot of things. he no longer remembers what timeline he was in. All Xavier could remember was the girl, the woman he loved, the person who had opened his heart. The one who knocked on the door and never give up until it opened. Where was she now? Is she really the one standing in front of him?

Still couldn’t catch what was really happening, it felt like he was floating—he was in his dream to live a lovely life with the person he cherished the most—he listened to the woman’s words. She was emphasizing how Xavier should have accompanied her to the hospital for the regular check-up of her heart, she reminded how he had already promised to be there when she got her shot, holding her hand when she was scurrying away from the needle.

The words thrown at him left him thinking a lot. He has done a lot of things that aren’t respectable, something that he couldn’t say he was proud of. At this point, does he even deserve the love he was chasing? Does he even deserve to be partnered with the person he loves so much? From place to place, from one to another, he only did the wrong things, he always took the thorny road.

Though he wanted to cherish the girl he loved, he could only spit the hurtful and painful words toward her. Though he already had her now, he only troubled her, he only created more problems for her and made her struggle in this timeline too. Xavier stares at the girl’s face, reading her expression. She looks cute with her cheeks puffed, but he can’t deny the fact he was the reason she was feeling this way. It wasn’t something cute, not from her perspective.

“Don’t think about it. Let’s get ready now, we will be late for the appointment. I already told my doctor that I was on my way.”

“You still wanted to go with me?” It might be a dumb question, but at least Xavier did think like that. “Even when I made you struggle like this?”

A confused look can be seen on the woman’s face, yet she still answers, “Well, yeah. It was a burden to always wake you up. You’re like an old man who needs your sleep, by the way. But, regardless of anything, I still love you and choose you, right? That’s what matters to me. So, now get up and accompany me to the hospital. Pretty please?” At the end of her words, she was looking at Xavier with a puppy look, hoping it would made him say an okay.

Even without her doing it, he already knows the answer.

Xavier will always be by her side no matter what.

It’s not the look she gave him, neither the words chosen by her to explain their situation and relationship. It was the fact that she didn’t shy away or hesitate to say the words love and choose. He always chose her, no matter where or when, he always chose her and only her, he always loved her, and the only person he could put his love into. He even didn’t wish to be loved back. But how nice it could be to get the love back?

How nice it is for Xavier to finally have the person he was longing for?

Nonetheless, he still didn’t do enough. He put in a lot of determination, he put a lot of thought and effort into the things he has done all this time. But, unlike the determination inside of him, despite the things he has done so everything would be perfect just the way he wanted, nothing’s getting better. Not his life, not his relationship, not his future with the person he wanted to be for the rest of his life.

“Am I the only girl you ever talk to?” You are, even in another universe, even in another place. “Sometimes it creeps me up how well you know me. It’s okay for me to feel this way, right?”

“I’m just good at reading people,” Xavier answered, trying to act nonchalant. She didn’t remember, she couldn’t.

“Even if you could read people well, sometimes you couldn’t understand their feelings. Reading people based off their face and action are different from knowing them deeply inside, right? I think you need to polish that too. Sometimes, a person can be bothered with what you do.”

Xavier didn’t give an answer to the girl’s words, he didn’t know the way to make it like he was trying to process everything. He knows everything already. Once again, he disappoints her.

“You’re not giving me any news about yourself, you keep everything to yourself, and you didn’t trust me enough. Are we even friends? I wonder a lot of times too, Xavier. Is it that you didn’t trust me, or is it just me not competent enough in your eyes? Have I always disappointed you all this time?”

She’s not.

He is.

It seems like his effort didn’t work, it seems like he didn’t try hard enough. Looking at it, now he regrets everything. it’s not a matter of determination or how serious he is with everything. Xavier should have put his soul and his earnestness in it. Xavier should have not taken everything for granted upon knowing what was in another universe. The moment he realized everything, it was too late for him, leaving him with regret.

“I regret everything too,” Xavier said while watching as the girl walked away from him.

Maybe it was the time for Xavier to forget about her, maybe it was time for him to stop everything that he did all this time. He should stop traveling from one universe to another just to find her. He should start to learn about forgetting the person he loves so much. Besides that, Xavier knew that time wouldn’t be enough anymore. The time that keeps on ticking reminds him about when he should stop.

Xavier might remind himself again and again, about what he needs to do and what he should not do. However, his whole body just refuses to listen to himself. He didn’t think that he could forget the person he had cherished all this time, the one that he put his resolve to. She was the one and only one in his whole life. There’s no other else than her that would take the place in his heart.

Without a doubt, the seasons started to change slowly, and the loneliness inside of him grew once again. The wind started to get cold, and all Xavier could think of was the girl he longing for. How long has it been for him to meet her? How long has it been for him to distance himself so he wouldn��t be greedy and possessive over her? Within the cold breeze, Xavier thinks back to one moment. He wanted to go back to that time even though it killed him inside.

There she was, watching the sky alone with thin clothing. Though the wind was biting to her bone, she still sat there alone and didn’t think much. Slowly but surely, her head turn towards him, looking straight at him. There was a hint of loneliness, there was also a look of desperation, there was also a look of crying for help, but one that was prominent was the look of hope once she met eyes with Xavier. Slowly but surely, the smile on her lips started to grow.

How much Xavier loves that smile so that he wants to protect it in every universe.

His feet moved by themselves, getting closer and closer to the girl that also ran for him. They were meant to be, they were fated to be together, but why the longer he ran, the farther she felt? Even though she was now right in front of him, she still felt so far away from him. When both of her weak hands wrapped around his shoulder, it felt like she was no longer in his arms. Why does she feel so far away from him?

“You’re finally here,” she said, letting out a fog from her chapped lips. She looked pale, she was sick, and he couldn’t even save her from the pain she was in. The cold body that wrapped around him can be affected by two things, either the changing season and the fact it was night, or because her soul slowly ripped from her body.

“I’m here for you.”

Xavier thought at least the words he wanted to say were declared clearly, he wanted the girl to listen to what his heart was speaking. His arms were full, filled with the weak girl in his embrace. Though she looks hazarded, she still looks up and smiles at Xavier, wanting to comfort him, telling him that everything is all right. She was okay.

On that cold night, when they try to share their remaining warmth, in the night where their breaths touch, and smoke starts to come out from their mouth because of the biting air, they were trying to keep each other warm, they were holding each other close so they won’t have to be separated. They know the universe will try its best to break them, but they wish for their bond to keep overlapping each other.

For them to be in every universe the other was.

“You promised we would watch the meteor shower again.”

“We have our own destinies …. Some things can’t be forced ….” Xavier felt the girl he loves reach out and poke the corner of his mouth. “Don’t be sad. I’ve been very happy this past month.”

It should be him, it should have been Xavier who cried. Instead of him, the dying girl in front of him started to cry, the tears began to fall as she finished speaking. Xavier wipes them away, trying to chase away the sadness in her heart. They were at the most breathtaking place, a mirror-like salt flat that connects heaven and earth, making the sky seem so boundless.

“No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side. And no matter how long you rest, I’ll wait for you.” The girl finally leaned on Xavier’s shoulder, dreaming about her future, about what if she didn’t have the disease.

“It’s a shame … there are no stars tonight.”

“There is one.” Xavier's answer was absolute before he opened his glowing palm. The light suddenly becomes brighter that night.

“I wish to meet you in my next life …. I wonder if that will come true …,” the girl mumbled, head starting to slip from Xavier’s shoulder.

This time, Xavier didn’t give an immediate answer. After a few moments, he finally says, “It will.” Xavier held the cold hand, trying his very hardest to give his warm to her, the soul that was slowly gone. “No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are … I will find you.”

Xavier dreamed of tomorrow, he wished for the day when he could spend it with her, and he daydreamed with her about what would happen the next day. He was so sure, she was so sure, the two of them were so sure, that their tomorrow, that their next step would shine just like the stars. Their day would be filled with wonder, just like how they watch the meteor show, just like how they put their wish onto the thousand falling stars like a little kid.

He kept his promise. Xavier searches the whole universe until he can find the girl again. He searches from one universe to another, just to find her again, just to be with her like he promised to her. He won’t stop until he can find her again, he doesn’t want to give up before he can fulfill his promise. Others might say he was annoying or dumbstruck with love, but the girl was his only one, his reason for staying alive until now.

From one universe, where he need to watch her with another man, and from another one, where she didn’t even exist. The only thing that kept him sane was the memories of them together, the warmth of her hand the last time he held it. Xavier won’t ever let go, he will keep even the smallest memories he shares with her. Every little interaction they had, every meeting though they didn’t know each other, and every time their eyes met.

Just like the petals that fall on both of their hair, where her gentle hand collected the petals from his hair. Just like how they go to camping in a summer night with the other Hunters and decided to isolated themselves. Just like how they watch a sunset from a train in the fall, where the moment doesn’t last long since the night starts to grow colder. Every moment and every season, the memories was engraved deeply in the seasons they share even though they were in a different universe.

“What are you looking at, Xavier? Is there something on my face?” Her voice sounded so gentle that Xavier couldn’t help but smile. His hand moves to brush the ice cream on the corner of her lips. It did remind him of something. It’s not the past, nor it was a mere memory.

“You eat like a four-year-old.”

“Hey! That’s not true!” The girl’s grumbles left Xavier chuckling. It was the same grumbling as the other her.

The memories of their date, their interaction, in each season come and go several times and Xavier started to lose his mind. He no longer what timeline he was in, he was no longer aware of the universe he was in. Everything started to get into a blur, the memories, their interaction, the names, and yet, he would still call out to her. His heart, his mind, his lips, all about him was always about her. Only her, his universe.

“You always act dumb to my tricks, you play along with every one of them. Why are you doing that? Are you trying to mock me?”

“It was fun to see you smile.” Not in every universe Xavier could see her smile, not in every connection they had, they had a smooth relationship.

“Then, you have to smile too!” This time too, Xavier could see the smile of the girl he loves very much. There’s no way for him to not be happy if he could be with the person he loves, he enjoys every little of it.

There was laughter in their relationship. Not counting the universe, Xavier succeeded to found the one where the two of them would be happy. But would that be enough? Is this the one that search for? Is this the ending he wanted? Xavier no longer knew what would be his goal, his dream, he just wanted to be with her a little bit longer. Once he knew his time wasn’t long anymore, anyone would notice how he wouldn’t age, he decided to leave.

“Are you … bored of me?” In just a few months of their relationship, Xavier wanted to run away, he couldn’t stay longer in this universe or he would make everything a mess. “You’re trying to leave me, right?”

“That’s not what I want … not what I felt.”

“Then why do you never answer my call? Why do you never open your door when I knock on it? It feels like you’ve just disappeared, it feels like you’ve abandoned me! Do you even see me as important, Xavier? Am I important to you?”

Very.

She was a very important person for Xavier.

Although, the words never come out from his lips. What’s the best way for him to explain that he was traveling around the universe? How does he even explain he wasn’t from that universe? It was a secret, it was something he need to keep to himself. It was the weight he needed to bear for trying to find and keep her safe even in another universe. What kind of lie does he need to say to her? What kind of lie he can say without hurting her feelings?

“We will meet again.”

“When?” In another life, in another universe. “When will we meet again?”

“I’m just not the right person for you.”

“After all those memories? And all that happiness we share together? Tell me what’s wrong with our relationship! Or at least, tell me what’s wrong with me so I can know, so I can understand you better.”

But she could never.

Instead of laughter, or happiness, this time all Xavier brought was tears to her. He hurt her, he shattered her heart, he ruined her. He keeps making scars in his and her heart, and he keep healing it each time he meets with her. He keep throwing question, she gives question, and all the answer will always be the same. The simple answer was that there was only one in his heart. No matter what was the question, Xavier could always answer, they’re all within the girl.

“Do you love me?”

“No one else.”

“What did you like?”

“You.”

“Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

“No. Only you.”

Xavier’s world was within the girl, she had his world. In the bigger universe, he was traveling around, in the universe he was lost in, jumping from one to another, she was the small universe he kept chasing. Even if it was just a small universe, it keeps on changing, rotating, and moving. The lights keep chasing the small universe wherever they go, not wanting to let go, not wanting to forget the small universe for the bigger one.

Just like a little kid playing tag, they keep chasing each other without any stop. Xavier knows the moment the smaller universe vanishes, he will also disappear too. Once the small universe explodes, even the light will be killed, it will be exchanged with a deep darkness. Without any light, even the bigger universe would also explode, showing how there was no hope anymore. That was the only reason for Xavier to keep on chasing the person he loves. Maybe.

No matter how much he traveled, how many versions of her he met, or how many memories he made with her, his mind would always bring back the one that he wanted to tear the most, yet he always keep it close to him. Memories that always bring tears to him repeating inside of his head, memories of the days he wanted to recreate replaying inside his mind, making the tears fall when he was alone on his bed.

It was cold.

The air, the season, the place, even her hand that Xavier was holding tightly. Everything around him was cold, and he was left alone to be the person with warmth. Everything has vanished, everything has been restarted. Everything was washed away. Her memories, her moments with him, her voice, her expression whenever she saw him, everything was now long gone. Xavier remained with the body of her, the shell of the person he loved so dearly.

“Xavier, please meet me even in another life, okay?”

“Xav, can we be lovers too in another universe?”

“Xavie, I love you so much that I can’t be separated from you even in another place! We are inseparable!”

“Can we … stop here, Xavier? I don’t wish for us to meet in another life. I don’t wish for us to meet even in another universe.”

These aren’t feelings that Xavier can end. It’s not a feeling that Xavier can wash away so easily. Though he might try, he could never succeed. In just one day, the day he decided to not travel to another universe, where he lives in the universe where she was dead, within just one try, the loneliness started to creep inside of his heart. There were screams inside of his head. He felt it in every inch of his body that it started to hurt.

“I don’t care,” Xavier said to himself, hands on his door knob. “Wherever you are, I’ll go to you. Wherever you are, I will always find you.”

Xavier didn’t think much, he didn’t put any thoughts about what he was doing. Even if it was hurting him, ruining him, and even killing him, he would still search the whole universe. Until Xavier could find her again. He won’t ever let go, even the smallest memories he had with her, from the past, from the future, from her. The memories that were engraved in the seasons he shared with her, once again come back to him.

With the growing tulips to show the start of spring, with the maple leaf that changing color to show the fall has come, with the chilling air to show winter was coming, and with the blazing sun that scream summer was here. Xavier would find her, again and again, he would find her. Wherever she was, Xavier would meet with her again. It doesn’t matter what seasons they met for the first time, it doesn’t matter where they met. As long as Xavier could meet with her again.

“Hey, are you a new Hunter? Nice to meet you! Let’s work hard as a partner, okay?” Xavier, entering the room, found that there was only her inside. The smile she gave him was warming, there was still life in it. “Why are you so silent? What’s your name?”

Xavier was silent for a few seconds before he decided to answer her with a firm tone. “Xavier. My name is Xavier, nice to meet you.”

“A new house? That’s funny, but I like it! You can be my new house. Nice to meet you, Xavier! Let’s show that we’re the best partner!” With that, Xavier knows that another love will bloom. Like the flower petal that flew with the wind in spring.

Xavier knew, that this was his mission from the start.

He will find her again.

He will search for her again.

Because what was inside of him was love.

Because it was love.

#ran's writing #love and deepspace #love and deep space #lads #lads xavier #xavier x reader #xavier love and deepspace #xavier lads #lads x reader #lnds #lnds xavier #x reader #fem!reader

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matan4il · 1 year ago

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Daily update post:

The fighting in Gaza continues, and the daily lists of soldiers killed are back. We knew they would be. Listening to their families, mourning their precious loved ones, lost forever, is a pain that's only transcended by the pain of listening to the families of those slaughtered on Oct 7. Every once in a while, I think of my darling friend and colleague, Berthe Badihi. She's a Holocaust survivor, and she gives her testimony to our visitors from time to time. Her grandson, Gil, was killed as a soldier in 2002. That's always the part of her testimony that's hardest to sit through, when she talks about how the pain wasn't over even after the Holocaust was, and she kept losing family. But then Berthe speaks about remembering the difference between how Jews died during the Holocaust, with no human dignity, and how her grandson did, and that this is a source of comfort. That he died a free man, with his dignity intact, protecting his family, his people and his country. On Oct 7, Jews were once again slaughtered in ways meant to rob us of our dignity. And that's why we're gonna keep fighting until Hamas is eliminated, no matter how much the death of our soldiers pains us.

The rocket fire into Israel continues, several people were injured today as well, and a school was hit, though thankfully it was empty at the time, so no one was hurt.

Today we salute Gal Gadot. It's been clear that for simply being an Israeli, who's willing to speak for her people, and despite expressing her wishes for the well being of people on both sides of the conflict, there's been (for years!) a campaign meant to demonize her. It's precisely because she's such a big star, that she has so much to lose. Yet, she spoke out loudly against the world's silence when it comes to the atrocities of Oct 7.

Israelis are aware of the rise in antisemitism on college campuses abroad, especially in the US, and we're following as more and more hateful and even violent incidents take place there, and as the congress will be hearing the heads of universities tomorrow. The truth remains that for years, these universities have been taking Qatari money, the government that has taken Hamas under its wing. IDK that there are any donations that these universities stand to lose, which can compete with Qatar's money, but losing their reputation, being called out on the way they've become hotbeds of antisemitism, of hatred, bigotry and violence, might force them to make a change. One can hope, right?

Speaking of money and terrorism, a new study suggests that Hamas made money off of the Oct 7 massacre (or people affiliated with it), by basically trying to bet on an Israeli economic collapse following the massive terror attack Hamas planned. I hope this crime, of making money out of advance knowledge about the imminent slaughter of innocent civilians, can be somehow prosecuted by law.

Speaking of prosecuted by law, Israel is holding a discussion today on how to put the Hamas terrorists who participated in the massacre, and were caught alive. It's not likely they'll go through a normal criminal court. Most people here assume we'll see something mroe akin to the special court which put Adolf Eichmann on trial in 1961.

This is 63 years old Clara Marman.

She was in Hamas captivity for 7.5 weeks. She's been freed during the hostage deal. She has not given any interviews, but I got to hear her daughter, who confirmed something that many speculated on. The daughter, Ma'ayan said explicitly, that the reason why her mother doesn't want to answer questions about how well she was treated by Hamas, is because she's still scared for her brother and partner, who are still held hostage in Gaza.

This is 39 years old Asaf Hamami, with his wife and their 3 kids.

Asaf was a colonel. On Oct 7, he ran straight into battle, and together with his soldiers, they saved kibbutz Nirim from a massacre and butchery, the likes of which we saw at the other kibbutzim. Asaf was considered missing, until the other day, the IDF confirmed that he was killed during that battle with Hamas, and his body was kidnapped to Gaza. The IDF was able to retrieve... enough of Asaf's body to allow for his funeral to be held, but the family understandably wants what Hamas is holding to be saved, and brought back to Israel. I'm going to emphasize again that he was a colonel. In Israel, some of the highest ranking officers still fight themselves. They don't send others to kill and die for them, they put their lives on the line to protect the civilian population. All of it. Jews, Christians, Muslims, Druze, Bedouins, everyone. While Hamas hides in their terror tunnels, leaving the civilians to be their human shields.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

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bl00dlight · 7 months ago

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Ooh I just saw the ask you answered about if Aemond genuinely cares about people and what not, and I loved your answer, very succinct. But it got me thinking, just food for thought really; if Aemond were to meet someone who genuinely loves him back and shows him this love, in a sense that he perhaps would know this person wouldn't betray him/wouldn't hurt him (be it a romantic partner or otherwise). How do you think he would react then? Do you think that, if he knew this person cared for him the same way, he then would allow himself to be vulnerable and trust the person enough to open himself completely?

I won't say similar because it's not that kind of relationship that I mean, I mean an actual real one, but kinda like the vulnerable we see him being in the brothel with the madam? Because there he looks fairly comfortable letting his walls down.

An Analysis Of Aemond Targaryen: Relationships, Romance, Cluster B Personality Disorders, Avoidant Attachment and How Childhood Trauma and Family Dysfunction Fucked His Ass Up.

I've written a psychology paper for you.

I have not proof read this. Idgaf about typos.

Also obviously as I say later, when I talk about this shit - it's in the context of me talking about a FICTIONAL, exaggerated character who has ungodly levels of power. Not your average traumatised irl person. So please do not come for me, I'm analysing AEMOND not you/others irl.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Answer;

I think it would be a nightmare.

I don't think he is capable of a stable reltionship. Just like many men in our world, Aemond needs CBT and like maybe a prescription for vallium to help him chill the fuck out.

This isn't a call out by the way, thank you for your question its a genuinely interesting one that Ive thought about alot. But I think fanfiction can start to feel like accurate interpretations of characters. So alot of the idea of Aemond being this soft baby boy on the inside who just needs a woman who loves him to fix him is a completely false dichotomy.

So here is why -

ATTACHMENT ISSUES? PROBABLY.

Aemond didn't actually really care about the Madame. We know that because he walks out and basically says 'A whore is a whore.' In his mind she is just a means to an end - he feels comfortable with her because she is familiar, but ultimately she is still below him, still what he would consider immoral and dirty. Remember he is paying her, he is buying her silence, her discretion and her submission. This is a consensual relationship, she isn't CHOOSING to do these things. He is buying her out.

The reality is, Aemond wouldn't be any different to Daemon. He would neglectful and likely alot less redeemable than Daemon - because ultimately Daemon's wounds are far more surface level, because Daemon is loved and has known compassion/warmth/supportive family etc.

Aemond hasn't. His ENTIRE identity is fractured. For example, take how he treats Alicent and Helaena - two people he knows both genuinely love him and cares for him (in there own dysfunctional ways) and he reciprocates this love and care. Yet look at how he treats them when he is triggered by something (feels weak, scared, confronted, vunerable).

Most people who come from dysfunctional families and have attachment issues or personality disorders or whatever other labels you want to give to trauma. Espeically for men who mainly become more avoidant or anti-social as a result.

They don't lean in to the people who genuinely care for them, they pull away. It's easier for Aemond to give in to the Madame, because she is familiar, but she's also distant. He has all the power. He can be vunerable because she literally cannot hurt him at all, she can't use that vunerablity against him, she can't abandon him etc. Why? Because he can do whatever he wants to her. He could just have her killed if she fucks him off. He doesn't actually care about her, there is no risk for him in being vunerable with her. Ewan Mitchell basically said it himself:

" 'Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.' That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino.Aemond has a similar code that stops him from being hurt like he was as a kid. That’s why he’s able to walk out on the madam in that scene. He’s humiliated by his brother and all his crew, and it’s like this switch flips. The madam is no more. All of these people in front of him? They mean nothing. He stands up, he owns it. 'Yeah, I’m bulletproof. Anything you say, it will not work.' "

He isn't attached the Madame. He CAN just get up and leave because the dynamic is risk free. He has the power. But with Alicent or Helaena for example? Notice how he easily he crumbles? How he desperately wants/needs things from them. Comfort, validation, support, love? And when he feels he is being denied that - he shatters.

The trouble is, Aemond would never know someone isn't going to hurt them. If they are choosing to be there willingly, from what we've seen from his characterisation so far - that wouldn't make him less likely to hurt that person. It would make him more likely to hurt them. Which is standard practice with people who have been abused, they repeat that abuse onto others.

Genuine love, genuine vunerable is a fucken huge risk for him. A HUGEEE risk. That's why he kicks Alicent from the council - he can't be around her because she makes him feel vunerable and when he is in the council room he can't afford that. He'd rather convince himself the other person is weak/useless etc, then actually admit it's him who is the problem.

Again... look how he talks about Alicent and Helaena when they deny him, he calls both of them weak.

I legitmately think the Balcony scene is the perfect example of what you're asking about. Aemond does trust Helaena, and he does know she cares. He even thinks she won't hurt him. I mean she is the only one who HASN'T abandoned him. Look at how he approaches her, he is gentle and unknowingly manipulative. And when he feels those feelings become too much, the fear, abandonment, vunerablity etc, when he is rectifying with his own guilt the fact that he might have pushed away the last person who he had- he is literally about to cry. He didn't cry over the Madame that's for damn sure. He just gets up and leaves?

But Aemond doesn't leave at all. She denies him help over and over again, denies him validation and calls him out, and instead of walking away, he stays and threatens her in the hopes she'll give in. He is trying to maintain power over her, even though he knows he is completely powerless. That he can't do anything to stop her from walking away.

That is exactly what it would be like if he knew someone truly cared/loved him. He would be distant to maintain control most of the time, he would probably seek out alot of validation, he'd likely be gentle to some extent/ want to gain their approval - but once he has all those things, it would be an endless back and forth cycle and when he feels them pull away he would crumble and try to manipulate them back. And if they didn't give in, he would probably go back to threatening or abusing, just like with Helaena and Alicent.

Dont ask why but I know ALOT about attachment issues/personality disorders. He reminds me of a former narcissist I had a thing with, whom also had a raging avoidant attachment style.

BPD? Probably.

Now if we were to diagnose Aemond, I'd go down the bpd with narcissistic/anti social tendencies line of thought. Insert this tweet I found the other day:

There is really no fixing Aemond, the closer you are to him to more likely he would fuck you up basically. Because think about it? If he can be legitmately vunerable with you, if he ACTUALLY cares/loves you? There is a greater risk involved for him. It's harder for him to just up and leave when he needs to.

I mean we see him LITERALLY stay even after Helaena walks away. And then we see how he has another one of those shut down moments, his tear dries up, and he gets them cluster b shark eyes, like he did in the brothel.

Ewan Mitchell is unknowingly giving one of the most intensive, exaggerated yet nuanced depictions of a SERIOUSLY dysfunctional cluster B mf. Forget American Psycho or Girl Interrupted - Aemond Targaryen

And by the way, when I talk about this- just know I have alot of bpd friends, so I've had personal experience with them and they are some of the most deeply loving, insightful people I've ever met. All of them are trying their best to heal, which most borderlines really do try and want to get better. I also speak from a place of similar attachment issues and trauma - and believe me, my ass don't behave like Aemond at all. So I always speak with the knowledge that, I'm talking about fictional characters and not real people. And fiction is always exaggerated.

99% of people with bpd or dysfunctional attachement styles dont have narcissistic or anti social tendencies to the extremity Aemond does. It's a TV show, and Aemond is more comparable to the cluster B' s who are fascist leaders/cult leaders/serial killers/criminals etc then your average sufferer. So that's important to note.

I'm applying real world ideas to fictional characters to get a better understanding of how they tick. Aemond was written basically as a sociopath in the book. That's why I stress that his relationship with Alys is NOT a good one.

But in the show, the writers have 'humanised' Aemond which is code for "let's make his eventual villainy rooted in deep familial trauma and neglect, but also make it so he is capable of love, care - etc" So basically you've given him untreated, festering BPD which as a result of the fact he is male, a Prince and a rides Vhagar: he develops narcissistic tendencies as a result of a superiority complex compounding with the fact he can only get validation when he achieves things/ feels powerful when others feel inferior ON TOP OF THAT in s2, the lack of familial support/abandonment is installing an even deeper lack for empathy for those he views below him. He is also validated by Targaryen supremacy and subscribes to the idea that he is more deserving and entitled to power and a Targaryen legacy. He thinks being vunerable is a weakness because thats what he is taught. He thinks you get power via violence. Thus why he idolises Daemon who is his parallel.

Daemon also might be a tad bit cluster B. But, significantly less. He probably falls more into the line of general male fuckery and an unhealthy attachment style.

Aemond is sort of leaning into the Anakin/Scarlet Witch line of psychology more so then the typical American Psycho or Joker or Ramasy Bolton, Joffery Lannister etc etc; chaos for chaos sake.

In fact I think Aemond's greatest parallel isn't Daemon - it's Visenya Targaryen. Which is no doubt WHY Vhagar chose him. And Visenya too devolves into a total state of genocidal mania too. Probably why Jace told Rhaenyra not to idolise her.

Visenya was extremely stern, powerful, dutiful and most importantly: believed DEEPLY in Targaryen supremacy and loved her siblings fiercely. She was basically the one who got shit done, who was the driving force of the conquest and was able to whip Aegon into shape. She didn't fuck around, and she didn't like being fucked around. She even pulled a knife out on Aegon to prove his guards were slow and shit - thus establishing the King's Guard.

But she devolves into chaos and rage after Rhaenys dies and ESPECIALLY when it's Rhaneys' son who is Aegons heir not Mageor - WHOM ALSO IS A PARALLEL TO AEMOND.

But we won't get into that.

DOES HE HAVE WOMAN PROBLEMS? PROBABLY.

So basically as I said, Aemond has woman issues. Not just mummy issues. He has WOMAN ISSUES.

Number one he is a teenage boy. He wouldn't be some daddy dom sex god. Espeically since he has zero experience outside of the Madame where... it seems like he just cuddles with her.

As Ewan said, Aemond finds substitutes for the love he couldn't find in his mother/family. Ultimately, no matter what - that's what he is after. He wants the love of his family. And so any outside source he gets it from is disposable, because it's a substitute- because it will never not be a power dynamic for Aemond. He is the most powerful mother fucker in Westeros. He literally tried to kill the KING and didn't get in trouble for it. He wants to be in control of the world around him, he wants to as Ewan said 'Be the Daddy' of his family. He wants to make THEM rely on HIM.

And isn't that funny? Isn't that funny... how desperately Aemond wants the throne, how he'd sacrifice anything for that power. Why do you think that is? Because it means his family has to answer to him. They can't ignore him, can't invalidate him, and they can't deny him love/respect. He'd have total power over the people he feels powerless against.

And look at what happens when Helaena for example denies him, she's the Queen and Alicent reminds him of this. That she doesn't BOW to Aemond. And it shows, it shows because he begs her to help him, because he knows he holds no power over Helaena.

In a weird way, his desire for the throne is the closest he can get to being a baby. Baby's hold a lot of power over those around them. And being King well? Basically everyone does everything for you. You can have what you want, you can do what you want and everyoneeee HAS to love/adore/admire you or its treason.

Think about how valuable that is for a man like Aemond, who wants that comfort, that adoration. He was literally being held by the Madame like he was JESUS.

I think Ewan is right in saying, Aemond doesn't have 'mommy issues' - as I'm watching him, I don't think he wants to submit to woman or be dominated by them. I think the whole coddling/adoration etc IS his version of dominating them.

It's his version of power. Of having a mother dote over you. It's not a humiliation thing, Aemond doesn't want to be humiliated or made to feel inferior or at the mercy of anyone ESPEICALLY NOT A WOMAN. (Again look at what he does to Alicent and Helaena. He legit tells his own mum to go back into the kitchen.)

He wants a woman to make him feel special and validated. To not see any wrong in him or make him feel othered. And even the Madame does this, she validates him by TELLING HIM THE BLACKS SHOULD BE SCARED OF HIM. And that he isn't a boy anymore, he is a man.

It's alot more trauma based and psychosexual then some pornified kink. He isn't really getting off on it. And we see that because when she goes to kiss him, HE PUSHES HER AWAY. If he wanted to be dominated then he'd let her do what she wanted?

It's very specific to show that. He is in control. Again, he isn't taking comfort in the fact he can feel like a helpless little boy. He is being comforted because he feels empowered.

And I think ultimately that dynamic would play out in what you're asking. That genuine love/care you felt for him would be weaponised into him basically siphoning validation from it. It would be a very.... transactional thing, why? Because that's all he knows. His whole life has been transactional. He's been taught that love IS conditional and love IS synonymous with power.

He is looking at Aegon and thinking??? Look at how much attention he gets from Alicent? It's not because Aegon is more worthy of being King, it's because Aegon has power? Aegon has been given everything already just for being born first.

I think Helaena files into that. He WISHED Alicent had given him Helaena as a wife. Why? So he could prove himself worthy. So he could outsource all the love/validation he could from being given that power.

And what is that? Well Aemond tells us as a kid, 'To keep the Valyrian bloodline pure'. Which is what? Power. That's a big reason why Targs marry each other politically is to reinforce power. Had Aemond married Helaena, that would grant him power. Not only from the fact he's basically been provided a wife the point of heirs/politics - but it also because a wife is supposed to love and be dutiful to her husband. A wife is supposed to tend to her husband, even over her children, her duty is to HIM.

So in conclusion - I don't think anything could truly replace that for Aemond.

But I think the fact he views Helaena and Alicent as equals to him, makes it worse. In a weird way as a woman, the more he cares/loves/views you as an equal- the more likely he is to lash out against you because you have the power to hurt him.

He has to actively PUT DOWN his mother, when speaking to Helaena. He literally mentioned that ALICENT IS NOT LIKE US, SHE DOESN'T GET IT. In order to distance himself further from her, and distance himself from the pain of being abandoned by her.

IN CONCLUSION

Can you fix Aemond? No.

Would he become better just if he was shown love/care? No.

Is he capable of love/care. Yes.

Is there a chance at a healthy relationship with him? No. Not without him going to therapy which doesn't exist in Westeros.

Would he be a nightmare? Undoubtedly.

And remember there is a big different between not being capable of feeling love and care VS being capable of it and only being able to express it unhealithly because that's your experience with it.

It's a really tricky thing, because we are taught that abusive people and ABUSIVE MEN in particular are basically psychopaths. And absolutely, they are a section in the vast range of abusers.

But the nuance and unfortunate truth to abusive relationships and why in particular they are so dangerous and AEMOND would be so dangerous - is because many abusers aren't psychopaths. They aren't innately evil or want to hurt you sadistically at least.

Alot of abusive people, are simply reliving their familial trauma. When love/vunerablity/care become weapons, become points of abuse - you don't know any better. And you view them as weaknesses. Because well? They are. They risk you being hurt, you being traumatised. Or for Aemond 'being that scared little boy again'.

So the unfortunate reality is, the closer you get to Aemond in terms of genuine love/care the darker it becomes. Because it would become a source of pain for him - which would trigger all the nasty things we see him do to Alicent and Helaena.

The only way THE ONLY way you could bypass it, is if you basically lost all sense of self and completely submitted to whatever he wanted. As long as you validated him in some way, or comforted him in some way - then it might work. But i don't think that would mean he would turn into a loving and warm man. I think the extent of how gentle he would be is how he is with Alicent and Helaena. And notices how quickly that switch is flipped and how easily he pushes them away when he feels he is getting too close.

And it's not like you could talk to him about it, it's not like you could point that out and say - because he'd view that as you challenging him, making him feel less then, small, inferior, bad, unworthy.

Again... cough cough. Helaena and Alicent? When they call him out for him burning the village and trying to kill Aegon? What does he do? He gets ANGRY. He pushes them away further. He even outrightly LIES to Helaena. Like poing BLANK LIES and tries to accuse her of treason.

Yall see? There would be no winning. If you did everything he wanted, and he loved/cared about you the relationship would still not be loving or warm or fulfilling because he is scared of his own vunerablity in it.

And if you tried to fix it or God forbid had your own desires/free will - he'd threaten you and feel abandoned and do what's called 'spiltting'.

He is black or white. He doesn't know the grey scale. He can temper himself only to the point and only when it benefits him, just so he can strike later. He is calculating. He didn't flip out on Aegon at the brothel. He waited and when he had an opportunity, he took it. Aegon was dead to him already.

So you'd be walking on egg shells. Your best bet if you wanted him to be soft and vunerable with you, is to be the Madame. Meaning he don't give a fuck about you and you'd have no say at all about what actually happens to you. And he holds all the power via money.

But this is just my analysis based on his character SO FAR. It might change as the seasons change because... lord knows his characterisation has been all over the place as everyone's have.

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