#because he already knew the philosophies behind those stories LMAO

[akkivee]

i guess since kuukou took his pose earlier, hitoya resorted to using his thumb as his second finger lmao

[panharmonium]

@dreamersscape​ please forgive me for tagging you in a post to respond to your comments; tumblr’s reply feature is hard to have an extended/coherent conversation on, and I’m so excited to talk to a kindred Naruto spirit that I knew I was gonna write too much for it all to fit in that space XD

re: hinata - Oh my gosh, YES, my sister and I were so frustrated by how they just completely never addressed that moment again.  I wasn't surprised, because it's been clear from the beginning that this show doesn't really care much about women, so the female characters' storylines getting dropped or never explored in the first place is pretty much what I've always expected, but it's still infuriating.  

Honestly, the only good thing about this show's general disinterest in women is that it means that I don't place any blame on in-story Naruto for never addressing what Hinata did for him, because I know the fact that we don't see him dealing with her confession isn't actually intended to communicate anything about his reaction/non-reaction/level of investment; it's literally just a function of the fact that the writer doesn't care about her story.  It's the same way I feel about how we see so much less one-on-one time between Kakashi and Sakura - her lack of screentime with him isn't something about which a person can credibly argue "Oh, this means Kakashi doesn't care about her enough and he's a bad teacher etc etc," because the imbalance isn’t a deliberate writing decision we're supposed to analyze for characterization.  It's a reflection of the fact that the entire show is super sexist. XD

re: danzo: It’s one thing to have your villain believe himself to the hero of his own story, and like, another to have Danzo basically tout having darkness in your heart being a great thing and encouraging it’s presence/cultivating it - lmao YES!  And honestly, this is why I actually find Danzo LESS infuriating than the Third Hokage.  Like, Danzo is Super Evil and every time he exploits another child I want to watch him die all over again, but at least he like....owns his horribleness?  Whereas Hiruzen is the biggest hypocrite on the planet - when I rewatched the Shonen Jump stuff a while back (my sister and I took a little break prior to Season 11 and rewatched some old stuff), I couldn't stand listening to Hiruzen go on and on about how the entire Leaf Village is his family and it's his role to protect all of them etc etc, because like - he literally covered up the genocide of Sasuke's entire family and let the perpetrator remain in power (and that was before I even knew about all these other crimes he allowed to go unpunished!!!)  Danzo may be the Worst, but at least he's not pretending to be anything other than what he is.  Hiruzen is still acting like he's everybody's sweet old grandpa, and that makes me even more angry than Danzo's straight-up horribleness.  (And I do agree with you, they definitely lean harder into the "Lord Third is amazing" stuff pre-Shippuden, I just still feel confused about what the show is ultimately trying to say about him because we haven't gotten an explicit enough condemnation of his choices yet, and I feel like it's way overdue XD )

re: minato - Hard agree that Minato is an enigma.  I don't feel like I fully understand him either - and not in a bad way, just in the sense that he's hard to read.  The toughest thing for me to parse was always how distant he seemed with his students, which was surprising to me at first, because he'd been built up as sort of this "ideal shinobi" figure for such a long time, but to me, an ideal shinobi teacher looks more like...well, Kakashi, to be honest.  And it took a while for me to reconcile with the fact that Minato and Kakashi really do just relate to their students very differently.  I think Minato has always been a soldier, and I think he sees children as soldiers, too - not in an evil way at all, just in the sense that this is how the shinobi world works, and how it has always worked.  It's not a "wrong" way to perceive shinobi kids, in the context of the story's universe.  And so when things happen to those kids, he absolutely cares, but it's also sort of just a grim fact of life for him.  It's like when Kushina tells him she doesn't want to make Naruto a jinchuriki, and she asks 'why do we have to do that to him, why does he have to suffer that way for the sake of the balance of power between nations,' and Minato's response is “Because our family is Shinobi.”  That was a really telling moment for me in terms of how he sees the world.  It's not something I'm interested in condemning him for, like you said; I don't think the story is ever asking us to do that, it’s just a philosophy that's very different from how Kakashi sees things and what he thinks children's experiences should be like.  

I guess what I ultimately think (from the material we’ve seen so far, at least) is that Minato seems to perceive the loss of his students as something that Kakashi is struggling with, not something he himself is agonizing over.  It’s a very sad thing that happened, of course, but it’s just part of the way their world works/a function of the times they live in.  It's not something Minato is tormenting himself about.  Whereas I think that if Kakashi ever lost a kid, it would have killed him.  And I don't think this fact is in any way supposed to paint Minato as a bad person.  He's not!  All it means is that there is a generational difference between the world Kakashi and Co. are trying to create and the world Minato always knew, and people like Minato are doing the best they can with the framework they have.  

I do like the guy a lot - and I wonder what he might have been like if he had lived to see a permanent peace established.

re: little Yamato - oh boy, those episodes nearly ended me.  I am already very, very, VERY weak for Kakashi and Yamato’s friendship, and seeing Kakashi rescue Yamato from that horrible place (literally and metaphorically) was too much for me to handle.  Kakashi’s silhouette replacing Danzo in Yamato’s memories of being rescued from Orochimaru’s lab - that slew me.  And the way Danzo tells Yamato “you have no past, no future, no name” juxtaposed with Kakashi introducing Yamato as Tenzo because he remembers from three years ago how Yamato once rebelled at being called Kinoe and yelled “MY NAME IS TENZO” - Kakashi just using that chosen name without hesitation, without question, without needing to be told...it all ties back into the recent thematic throughline the show is working with about Identity - the importance of the Tailed Beasts having names, Kabuto’s desperate and misguided search for “who and what he is,” Itachi reclaiming his true self by undoing the reanimation justu and declaring “I am Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf Village,” Obito claiming that his real name doesn’t matter anymore, that he’s Nobody...it’s fantastic how they’re pulling all this together.

re: Kakashi and little Naruto - oh man, the feelings.  I agree with you that Kakashi was in no place to be dealing with this, but certainly under different circumstances I think he would have loved to be a part of baby Naruto’s life.  I actually think the reasoning behind “let’s put Kakashi in a situation where he’s in close contact with someone bringing new life into the world” is sound - I think that would be a really good thing for him!  Just not in the sense of “you’re Kushina’s personal bodyguard, so if anything happens to her and the baby you can blame yourself for it.” XD  Like...Minato could have invited Kakashi in for dinner sometimes, instead of having him constantly stand guard under their window???  If it had been more “we care about you and we want you to be a part of our family”....ugh, that would have been amazing.  Kakashi is already SO good with Naruto (who is NOT by any means an easy kid to manage) - he just has such good instincts about how to talk to that kid and teach him in ways that work WITH Naruto’s particular brand of high motivation/low frustration tolerance, ping-pong emotional extremes, explosive energy levels, zero impulse control, and an inability to process more than one thing at a time.  Handling Naruto effectively would be a challenging project for any teacher, never mind taking care of Naruto and two other kids, but Kakashi is a natural at it.  It would have been awesome to see what Kakashi was like with Naruto when they were even younger...though the Feels might knocked me out.

[also, you mentioned Naruto and Obito - I cannot even tell you the Extremest Agonies I was in when the big reveal happened and I had to hear Naruto blankly go “who is he” - utterly clueless, without the faintest idea that he’s looking at the person who shaped his entire moral philosophy.  The amount of things that these kids don’t know...that fact that Naruto has been quoting this very person all his life and making all his major life decisions based on the lesson Kakashi relayed to them on Day One - Obito’s words - oh boy oh boy I was not capable of handling that even the littlest bit.]

[cannotescape]

Thoughts on The ballad of songbirds and snakes

I was curious to read the latest installment in the hunger games saga and I wasn’t disapointed. I’ll try to stay spoiler free in the review. In any case, the spoilers will be after a read more.

Many successful YA authors has been revisiting their work these past years. I... wasn’t impressed by most of them. The only sequel I’ve read that was worth the original work was La belle sauvage imo (not the entire Book of Dust series, sadly).

After reading The ballad of songbirds and snakes, it seems that the key for writing a sequel is actually to make it a prequel lol, with 0 to 1 character from the original. Add to it foreshadowing and a few hints and you get a winner.

A Snow redemption arc?

Knowing the premise, my first fear was that Snow was going to be the protagonist. I was smelling the redemption / justification arc from miles away. But Collins isn’t Rowling and Snow isn’t Snape (there is a Snape-like character though. he’s pretty interesting). The book can be summarized in one sentence: explaining a behavior isn’t the same as excusing it.

The book put the reader through an interesting experience: should we root for Snow, knowing what he will do in the future, and how long can we excuse his behavior? My reading experience was basically me trying to guess what Collins wanted me to think. I was waiting for the end to make up my mind about the book. There were hints that made me pause and go “huh” but I truly wasn’t sure how all of this was going to end.

I understood really late that Collins just let her readers choose what they wanted to think. You want to excuse Snow? You can, there’s enough material for that, and there’s enough good people around him for you to root for him. Linking his fate to Lucy Gray’s was clever. Making us believe that they were in the same boat (the hunger theme and the attention given to food made sure of that), when they couldn’t be farther apart? Well done. I can’t believe I fell for it.

So yeah, in my mind, Snow definitely isn’t redeemed or even excused in the end. You end up hating him even more. Collins doesn’t do manicheism apparently, so you get to empathize with him. Life and people put him in a difficult situation. But his pride and the importance he has given to his family’s status is what allowed people to blackmail him into doing... things.

Hints that Snow wasn’t being redeemed:

- talking about Lucy Gray like she’s his property - his strategy of differentiating her from the districts and immediately making her a potential Capitol citizen - not visiting Clemmensia in the hospital (it was emphasized enough times to make me pause) - choosing ignorance when faced with a situation he doesn’t want to deal with (refusing to acknowledge what Tigris must have done to survive during the war) - being quick as fuck to justify killing people (self-defense, yeah, but for how long?) - being condescending against Sejanus and district born people.

2. Just another Hunger Games book?

I started reading the story thinking it was going to be a hunger games book. It’s not. First of all, the games are nothing like the future ones. For historical and plot-related reasons (they’re building the games after all). What is striking is the lack of excitement: from the audience in the Capitol, and from the readers. Collins knows how to build suspense, she proved it with the first trilogy. It made the catharsis worked 100%: we were as much the spectators of the games as the Capitol.

Removing the excitement from the games? Making them dull and exposing them as the sheer horror show they are? Bold move. I also noticed that, overall, the tributes showed more empathy than in Katniss’ games. The war ended 10 years before. They had yet to forget “who the real enemy is”.

Just like in the THG, Collins used metaphors of the games in different parts of the book. The mentors have their own games going on (with a “prize” that is often presented as a lifesaver) + what happens in the very end. It didn’t bother me. I like symbolism and the games pervading every aspects of life is a good one.

What doesn’t make this a hunger games book is also the fact that... Katniss isn’t Snow. We’re following his story but he isn’t the real protagonist. Lucy Gray is a much better candidate, but the book is an actual demonstration of what happens when the narrative is taken away from you. The third person narrator was a nice change too. I think it allowed the narrator to present his thoughts as the truth without being immediately seen as biased. Free indirect discourse also makes you forget that the thoughts being expressed are Snow’s. Until the very end, when it becomes impossible to separate him from the narrator.

3. Class analysis

The rise of the bourgeoisie / nouveaux riches vs the fall of an ancient aristocracy grasping at straws to stay in power. Classic.

I don’t remember who theorized it (Gramsci maybe? or Paretto?) but the best way for a system to stay in place is to welcome a few “exceptional” people (and the word is meaningful in the book) from the lower but rising class. The Capitol is actively implementing this policy. The war made them aware of the benefits of having allies in the districts, mainly the richest families. The end of the book emphasizes the link between bourgeoisie and aristocracy - between money and status. And the most succesful citizen will be at the intersection of them.

Bonus: mockingjays and jabberjays being metaphors of the bourgeoisie and aristocracy. Mockingjays are a district evolution of the Capitol-made jabberjays, and they’re slowy but surely taking over.

Meaningful quote: “Give it up,” he muttered to the thing. “You’re no jabberjay.”

Oh, and what happens when the decaying aristocracy doesn’t want to bulge or evolve and the rising bourgeoisie is getting tired of being refused power and privilege?! Yep, a revolution. Not saying a revolution led by the working class can’t happen (it’s basically the hunger games’ plot), but the bourgeoise / aristocracy allyship certainly can slow the process down.

4. The hanging tree

Loved to read about how the song was created. And seeing its meanings change the more the story progresses. At first a remembrance of the Capitol’s cruelty, then a way to communicate a meeting place. Finally, a mourning song about treason. The line “they said who murdered three” only hit me with its full meaning two days after finishing the book lol. The murderer wasn’t hung after all.

Meaningful quote: “Music caused trouble”. I fucking love the simple irony in all those little sentences when you know how all this will end.

Tldr: All in all, I really enjoyed this book. It gives you insight into Panem’s world (and ours let’s be honest, the parallels are blatant) and makes Katniss’ story even more powerful imo.

Also, the only love story worth mentioning was one between two girls lmao so there’s that (it’s a blink and you miss it kind of thing, but it’s there).

Spoilers under the cut (not very spoilery tbh but better be safe).

5. Lucy Gray

Like I said, the real protagonist. Her legacy has literally been erased, which is fucking heartbreaking. There’s a reason why I couldn’t remember if she was even mentioned in the original trilogy.

And yet her legacy lived on. The song she wrote not only was passed down from one generation to the next depite being immediately forbidden, but it also became the symbol of the rebellion. Same symbolism can be seen in the mockingjays, who are deeply associated with her.

I just have a lot of feelings about her and I’m happy that Katniss made everything worth it in the end. And despite being two very different characters, Katniss became her reincarnation designed specifically to haunt Snow. And I just love that Katniss doesn’t know anything of Lucy Gray. But she’s unknowingly reenacting her life. Because her legacy was that powerful. Or because everything that Snow hated in District 12 are very present in these two strong girls. Funny what an environment can do

Meaningful quotes: “Well, I hope old you doesn’t haunt new you. We’ve already got enough ghosts between us.”

“Good-bye Lucy Gray, we hardly knew you.”

“She could fly around District 12 all she liked but she and her mockingjays would never harm him again.”

6. The philosophy behind the book

Freedom vs order and security, the social contract, what an individual can do against a corrupted society, is it possible to change things from the inside? (interesting to have Plutarch’s ancestor mentioned), the elite reproduction (hi Flickerman!), what do cricumstances do to human beings (the Mary Shelley’s quote at the beginning).

Meaningful quote : “People aren’t so bad, really,” she said. “It’s what the world does to them. Like us, in the arena. We did things in there we’d never have considered if they’d just left us alone.”

[pyrokinesis]

So I lost the patience and watched Kizuna

! Major spoilers ahead !

Listen, I know I said I will wait until the Blu-Ray comes out, but I was impatient little bitch and I found a working Sample 3 link with English dub, so I said, fuck it! My brother joined me 20 minutes in, lol. Anyways, onto the movie.

I don't really know what to say, Digimon Last Evolution Kizuna was exactly what I expected from the movie of such name, a movie that promotes end of relationship between Digimons and their human partners.

I kinda didn't have my hope up, mostly because I rewatched Adventure & Adventure 02 last week and finally watched Tri, and the whole point of Digimon has always been, no matter what happens, Digimons and their humans will always stick and stay together, I think the quote goes "humans and Digimons forever" (?). I kinda was hyped up though, partly because of art style (it was much better than Tri, less dark and more symmetrical when it comes to faces and bodies, Tri was annoying at times with weird asymmetrical faces; also Yamato!!!! Yamato is so hot and pretty in Kizuna, wtf Toei leave this poor lesbian alone), partly because of Adventure 02 kids (my brother is so annoyed with me, but I'm a huge 02 fan, Wormmon is my baby and I can rewatch 02ep25 anytime, Stigmon's first appearance is fucking iconic).

Adventure 02 kids got much more screentime than I expected, especially Iori/Cody because he is sometimes really put aside. I love how they were staying in touch with Original Six/Eight through Yamato, and how Hikari and Takeru stayed part of their team (Tri lacked this so much, it was so weird to have Hikari and TK not knowing what happened to their friends when they were supposedly a new team/best friends). Also my baby Ken's hair (*le cries*), I miss his long hair. Both my brother and I expected Paildramon to appear near the end, but there were no DNA/Jogress evolutions besides Omegamon/Omnimon.

Yamato was so fucking hot it's unbelievable, he's become top Digi-destined to me, 2D character or not. He was so smart, so persistent, so consistent, so selfless, so cute, itty-bitty blind (those cute glasses that appeared on his face for a mili-moment during him being in uni classroom panel, all of my uwus gone), still has one of the best relationships with Gabumon (he plays harmonica for Gabumon, even after all these years, he keeps Gabumon by his side, and they both tried to find that bad-guy-turned-FBI-agent-guy sneakily, so so cute). Overall, Yamato is a emotionally much more main character than Taich is, probably because emotionally, Taichi was the main character of Tri.

Now onto our second main, Taichi. Honestly, technicall, both Yamato and Taichi are Kizuna's main guys, but emotionally, Yamato left much bigger impact. Taichi was the main character in the beginning, but as the story progressed, I could feel Yamato much better. Still, Taichi isn't left aside (like all other Original Eight kidz/people). He is a struggling university student who has no idea what to do with his life (my brother sorta compared him to me, LMAO). This is very consistent with Tri's Taichi, who is full of self dubts, abstract ideas of future, and melancholy when he thinks about his future self. Toei nicely showed it when they let us know Tai earns for his future by working part-time as a waiter (?) in an automat casino. He is kinda really down all the time when he starts realising he has to make huge choices about the future, even though he has no bloody idea or genuine thought what to do (also his porn stash, LMAO what was that Taichi, who even uses porn magazine after the age of 14).

Thinking back about it now, it's kinda underwhelming with how it actually, emotionally, focuses on the whole "Digimons have to leave their partners" philosophy. Like, it barely shows interactions between humans and Digimons (which Tri did at least, with I think all characters, so I would expect at least some focus on Yamato and Taichi). There were some interactions between Taichi and Agumon, and Yamato and Gabumon at the end, but it just felt uncomplete and unfullifying. Also whole concept is bullshit (did I mention it? Because if I didn't I will, because this whole thing really is). It all started with Tri, which felt like it was produced by random people who watched Adventure & 02 after fifteen years and decided to make their own spin on it, without actual respects for stories and characters Adventure & Adventure 02 were trying to make us feel and understand (though feelings of OOC-ness Tri had at the times were minimal in Kizuna, thank goodness for that).

Then, Kizuna continued it with the concept of "when Digi-destined grow up, their Digimon partners disappear because they are not on the same mental wavelengths anymore" which is the complete opposite of one of like three main Digimon philosophies, "Digimon and Digi-destined, together and forever"; like while I disliked 02 epilogue, it showed us that after all hardships, Digi-destined and their Digimons get their happy endings, together. Both my brother and I (we watched it together) groaned at the whole concept (along with predictive bullshit plot and plotholes).

While I understand the reason behind this (I read some spoilers on here afterwards, to broaden my post-Kizuna horizons), that humans/Digi-destined grow up, and Digimons kinda don't, it still makes me really dissatisfied. Tri showed us in flashes that, when given time spent with their and other humans, Digimons can grow and become mentally wise adults (cue to the cutest scene when Patamon closes his one eye because he understands the tension between Hikari and Takeru, as in, that they like each other and they might need some time "alone"), so Kizuna kinda fucked up all previous Adventure works by telling us everything is in vain, Digimons leave, their connection to humans they had will become meaningless and humans will have to move on. Bullshit plot(hole), but whatever.

The amount of screentime non-Taichi&Yamato characters can be underwhelming, especially if you don't read spoilers like I did. The movie starts with Takeru and Hikari as important as Yamato and Taichi, but as the movie progresses, they just fade in the background. Kinda happens to everyone else except Koushiro/Izzy, who kinda has a really leading role, considering how much screentime Taichi and Yamato have (I feel like wordcount apps will find Yamato&Taichi as my most used words in this rant review), and he is probably third most important role, until he undramatically disappears because of psycho main lady.

Now towards real ranting. I'll try to keep it short because I have no real emotions behind it and I feel some other rants might articulate it better. Anyways, the plot of the whole movie is so goddamn predictable. It starts so weirdly, with Taichi, Hikari and Takeru fighting Parrotmon (what the fuck was that even, btw???). Like, Parrotmon, again? It feels just very reused, and that feeling that doesn't leave even during the credits. Soundtrack—while nice, nostalgic, and very fitting—is also just reused Adventure 01 soundtrack, and it just brings kudos from my memory lane road nostalgia. Deja Vu is the feeling that sticks to your skin and bones, if you like me, watched Adventure 1-3 just before Kizuna, and understand how so many scenes are just reused wanna-be old seasons references.

From two older adults (I honestly thought there will be two goverment agents, again, and mentally groaned) sticking up into Digi-destineds' business like some omni-knows creature, same as agents from Tri, fucked up (female) main antagonist who pretends to be a good guy (lady?) for the sake of gathering intel and trust, who is a complete nutjob (full-time pyscho in Kizuna lady's case) because of the loss of her Digimon partner, to bullshit powered-up Digimon created from human coding (my brother pointed this one to me, and honestly, half of this movie is both Diaboromon movies rehashed/redone in 2020 shine), Omnimon fighting in some weird Digital World room powered-up creature (first Diaboromon movie straight up scene for scene), even that first scene with Parrotmon and this time completely unexplainable appearance of a Digimon in the real world, and Digi-destined having to fight it, and of course, bullshit new unexplained Digi-evolution with new (human???) mega forms of Agumon and Gabumon. All in all, it just feels very forced and all very already seen.

Now onto the less main, even less supporting characters. 02 teens are amazing, considering they have barely any lines and some little fighting moments. I love them, and I'm happy they got this, considering how they were blatantly forgotten in Tri, and how obviously nobody in the production of Tri even cared to hide that. Wormmon and Stigmon are my babies and I'm happy to see them have some screentime.

Original Six/Eight (excluding Taichi and Yamato) are kinda disappointing, though. I read some spoilers, so I knew Sora wouldn't appear much, but damn, even that was much compared to her actual screentime in Kizuna. She is almost as forgotten as 02 kids were in Tri. I get that she is shown to have moved on faster than other Original Eight kids, but still, they didn't even show her losing Piyomon (which did happen, and it was emotionally, overwhelming, in a fucked up sense when you realised Piyomon wasn't by her side). Jou, Mimi, Takeru, and Hikari were shown at the beginning of movie with so much potential screentime, but in the end they mostly were there for the dramatic cliffhangers (I didn't understand at the beginning what happened to Mimi and Jou, and I thought Hikari was murdered and that the FBI agent straight up shot Takeru), during that mini battle scene sometime in the Neverland, and of course, during the end credits. It was kinda really both overwhelming and underwhelming to see them during the credits when they could've had much more moments during the movie (I sorta had some hope because the movie is almost 2 hours long, and usually movies are like 20, 30 minutes long, but even during those one-episode-length movies there is more of main-supporting characters shown).

As mentioned, the ending is bullshit (my brother ended up crying and I had to put Adventure OST on to calm him down), Agumon and Gabumon dying is literally the most senseless thing ever since both Taichi and Yamato love their partners so much, and even among all the adulting and hassles in their lives, they try to make time for their Digimon partners (during their time in the restuarant, Yamato and Taichi literally talk how they don't have time for even their closest friends, hell Hikari even mentions Taichi should give their mother a visit, but Taichi still finds time for Agumon), so in the end both Taichi and Yamato were among the last people to lose their Digimons and I'm really disappointed in this concept, especially how they didn't show Gabumon and Agumon disappearing, Taichi and Yamato deserved explicit goodbyes.

Uh, I don't think I have anything much to add anymore. I read spoilers and some are pretty much novels from how much people put their thoughts in, this is just my ranting review, tbh. I dived into this hoping to get my heart mended from Tri (say what you want about Tri but it was too bad for six hour and half movies, especially general Adventure constistency-wise), but not with high expectations, having seen the trailer and having some spoilers read. All in all film wasn't too bad, but it wasn't too good, solid 6/10 rating from me, mostly for the animation and nostalgic soundtrack, but the whole plot was shit as fuck and the philoshophy behind it.

(Random, but I noticed straight people/shippers liked the movie better than gay people/shippers, is there any correlations between that)

ALL IN ALL, Digimon: Last Evolution Kizuna wasn't the best nor the worst Digimon movie/work, but it probably isn't something I will rewatch or recommend anytime soon (also wtf were those humanoid mega forms, like W T F).

[atopearth]

Subarashiki Hibi (Wonderful Everyday Down the Rabbit-Hole) Part 6 - Jabberwocky II & Hill of Sunflowers, Wonderful Everyday and End Sky II Endings + Overall Review

Jabberwocky II Oh..so we actually get to see the past!! Lmao at Hasaki being scared of Tomosane at their “first meeting” since they lived separately. Although it’s kinda crappy to think about how Takuji and Hasaki lived with the mother that betrayed the dad and it seems like they don’t treat Hasaki well. In Takuji’s case, I assume he treats her badly because the mother forces the most strict teachings etc on him? I guess it was “lucky” for Tomosane to be able to live in Sawaimura and become friends with Yuki (the real one, not the personality!) etc. And I guess the father is too stressed and sick to really be able to take care of them all… I see… Tomosane had to come here because he had no qualms with hitting his mother back whenever she hit him for fighting with Takuji. And Tomosane has no respect for her after what she did to betray the family, he doesn’t even think of her as his mum. Omggg the incident that led to Tomosane having to live here isn’t his fault at all! Takuji and his mother were consumed by their religion and thoughts that Takuji would be the saviour, so they bullied Hasaki for being “nothing” I guess? And the dad couldn’t stop them since he probably wasn’t always home and he didn’t want to treat his wife and kid badly I guess. But then every time Hasaki was bullied, Tomosane would protect her, except one time, the crazy mother took out a knife and she ended up getting a stab wound when Tomosane tried to stop her. Omggg, seriously, they were such a crazy family before Takuji even died yet… I’m such an idiot…lol I should have known that the most probable reason for them to bully Hasaki was actually because she’s the illegitimate child, not Tomosane. Her mother probably looks at her and thinks about all the mistakes and pain she had to go through because of her existence.

Just like the Yuki personality said though, Yuki-nee really is older than Tomosane huh? She really is practically his big sister haha. Yuki teases Tomosane so much, it’s hilarious. I think I can see how deep Hasaki’s feelings went when she told Tomosane/Yuki how she wanted to stay like that with them forever now, they were such good buddies in the past. Lmaoo at Tomosane picking a swimsuit with man-eating rabbits for Hasaki hahahaha, Hasaki is so adorable to say she thinks it’s cute and that she’ll take it since she likes Tomosane, and likes that he still remembers who she is and what she likes. The rabbit in the shop isn’t as cute as the one Tomosane made for her~~ but omg, the reason why Hasaki is fond of rabbits is so saddening… It’s because rabbits die when they get too lonely, so she thinks that even if she’s useless, she can at least stay beside it forever (since she’s always alone), that’s why she always carries the rabbit around when she’s older… It was so nice to see them making a sandcastle together~ As expected, the father died and we get to see an extension of Hasaki’s memory of her looking for the edge of the world and Tomosane coming to find her. So that’s where Wakatsuki came from huh? Wakatsuki is the name of the shop that sells the big rabbit. And Hasaki gave Tomosane her little twin rabbit dolls that their father initially gave to her and Takuji (but he didn’t want it) because Tomosane said he’d get her the big one, so she said she’d become the big one’s twin so it won’t be lonely. It’s really cute and heartwarming, but at the same time pretty devastating since you know what happens in their future. It was hard to watch Tomosane and Hasaki cry over their father’s death though, it was heart wrenching to think about how he was the one keeping everything together, but it also made me think whether he died because of all the stress from the betrayal, the current family situation etc since he’s such a nice person, it was probably difficult for him to have to experience all this…

I guess it’s not surprising that Takuji is basically what the Tomosane personality looked like, he probably swapped the appearances in his mind because he thought of himself as the “evil” one. It’s so cute how Yuki is now treating him more like a guy than a kid now, especially when she blushed at him seeing her underwear, if it was before, she would have instead teased him for blushing at seeing it lol. I think it would have been so nice if they really did get the chance to be together, it’s just saddening that it won’t happen. I never thought I’d hear about Footprints in the Sand in this game hahaha! But wow, it really seems like Yuki made up Tomosane’s whole world, I feel like his whole three personalities, his philosophy and his knowledge all stemmed from Yuki and he only expanded his knowledge on these things due to her existence, but I guess that’s normal, she’s a big part of his childhood, a big part of himself before he “broke”. Ohh, so the reason they’re obsessed with trying to kill Hasaki is because they think that she stole Takuji’s powers from him since they’re “twins”. Yuki is so strong and brave, Takuji pushed Hasaki off the cliff and she didn’t even hesitate to jump and hold her to take all the damage from the fall to save Hasaki… Although Takuji is terrible, the mother is the worst. She’s the one who brainwashed him since he was a child about this whole saviour thing after she got thrown away by that pastor that took advantage of her and made up stuff. If it wasn’t for her, nothing would have gone wrong! I can’t believe she would make her child kill her other child, it’s just crazy and disgusting, I don’t care how delusional she is, it’s absolutely unforgivable. I wonder if they were ever able to take her to a psychiatrist or something tbh… But I can see why Hasaki blames herself so much, since it was her existence that made everyone suffer. But at the same time, I’m sure they would have made up some other delusion for his lack of powers even if she didn’t exist, so she really isn’t to blame at all, what’s to blame is the mother that couldn’t accept her wrecked life. Wow, Takuji staring into Tomosane’s eyes saying even if he dies, he’ll just take Tomosane’s body must have been the creepiest thought and moment ever, I’m so not surprised Tomosane became how he was with Yuki’s death accompanied with this… It’s also no wonder why in the previous chapters, both Takuji and Tomosane wanted Yuki to always be the one personality to “survive”, I’m sure Tomosane loved her so much, he wanted her to keep existing even if it was in this way. I’m glad that in his last moments (most likely), Yuki was able to call Tomosane back, and he could talk to Hasaki and protect her again (since she refused to let go of him when he was about to fall so they ended up falling together).

Wonderful Everyday Ending So…the reason why Kotomi (their mother) ended up getting tricked by that pastor was because she was trying her best (in her own way) to find a way to save Hiroo (their father) since they knew about his illness? Is that why no matter what, Hiroo wasn’t able to leave her? Because he felt that he drove her to this and caused her to get tricked? He understood how much of a victim she was so he couldn’t blame her regardless of what she did? Honestly, that probably just made his condition worse though. I don’t blame her for getting tricked because it’s not like she wanted to, but the fact is, Kotomi caused everything by continuing to believe her delusions that everyone would be saved if Takuji became the saviour that can then revive Hasaki and Hiroo. The moment she believed the pastor’s words was when she should have realised this was a mistake and that she shouldn’t continue, but she refused to believe it could possibly be a lie when she already sacrificed her body to someone she didn’t love, and what happened? It only caused Hiroo to probably die even earlier, and with so many regrets as well. And then she destroyed Takuji’s life by brainwashing him. She also made him turn against his siblings and nearly kill them both, all because she chose to believe in this delusion that everything would be okay once he killed Hasaki and everyone, she didn’t want to accept that everything was all for naught even when Hiroo became a journalist to show her evidence that the pastor was a fraud that took advantage of heaps of other women! He was so sick already and he still had to try and help her come to her senses! She was supposed to support him and help him for everything he had done for her (eloping from the village, caring for her when others persecuted her), and yet she made his last moments to be full of worry and regret because he had to leave behind his young children! Hasaki can say all she wants about understanding her and empathising with her feelings, but that doesn’t mean you can destroy everyone around you to keep your “dream” that everything will be okay if you did something like this alive. I don’t think I could ever forgive her tbh. She also caused Tomosane to become who he was and practically ruin his life alongside all those “believers” at school, her actions caused such a big chain reaction and such repercussions that even if everything was done in good intentions (which I honestly find rather meh as a “conclusion”), it’s just…terrible.

Honestly, I’m surprised Tomosane was not guilty of anything. I like Tomosane and I want him to be happy, but really as an outsider, if I were to know about everything “Takuji” did, who can really prove he is really okay now and is really just Tomosane? It’s rather shocking that he didn’t need to go to rehab or anything etc. Overall, the chapter was nice but also unnecessarily long winded imo, however, I do think that the long winded slice of life stuff did add to the story since it shows how happy their childhood was despite their problems, so it was important. It can just get kinda tiring though haha. Especially when they tried to kinda like “redeem” the mother’s actions. Not too fond of the ending either since it felt rather lacklustre compared to everything else, but I guess achieving a wonderful everyday is probably a boring thing to be happy about haha.

Hill of Sunflowers Ending Ooh, so Takuji does go to see a psychiatrist every week or so and he’s kinda been forced to live in Sawaimura to “recover” with the doctors here, which in a sense doesn’t feel like a punishment or anything at all since I’m sure he’d be glad to stay here. Although it’s where most things happened, it’s also a happy place after all. And it’s nice to see that in this ending, Yuki is still here! I think it’s wonderful for Yuki to still be “alive”. Oh and lol, so many CGs for their H-scene but I guess that was to be expected, since it’s Yuki, but dang, if you think about it from an outside perspective, he’s practically doing it with himself (or a ghost?) hahaha, so it’s weird but at the same time not weird since Yuki feels like such an individual by herself lol. Oooh, she’s separate from him!? She’s a ghost or a hallucination? But Hasaki can see her…so maybe she is a ghost hahaha. Either way, it doesn’t really matter I guess, since it means that the three of them really can live together forever. I loved that they went to visit the hill of sunflowers together and Yuki joked about disappearing loll. But it is true that she could disappear at any time without any warning since it’s not like she’s “real”, but as they say, humans can die/disappear at any moment as well, so it’s fine for them to just enjoy their everyday lives. I definitely prefer this ending tbh hahhaha, I feel like it felt more personal and more like a happy ending haha.

End Sky II Ending Hmm I guess this ending was to round up all the inner world, outer world mysterious stuff that Down the Rabbit Hole etc kinda showed. I’m not sure what to think of it since it kinda just tells you that whatever you think it could be is what it is, so rather than giving an explanation of what exactly went on and all the mystery, it kinda leaves you to interpret it yourself. Whether it be something like Yuki has a soul that transcends everything and basically appears as different people to reach the ending she wants for her or Tomosane, or that this world is really just her and every single thing and person in this world was her and her dream, and it repeats until she gets the conclusion she wants etc, as Ayana says, there’s more than one hypothesis and who knows what is true~ But I do feel more like it’s something she repeats until she’s satisfied at the wonderful everyday achieved and that doesn’t mean there’s only one ending, there’s many different wonderful everyday scenarios and that’s why there’s Tsukasa and Kagami endings etc. In those, Zakuro never interfered with whatever Yuki did because she was happy and satisfied with “her life”, so I think it’s just kinda like that? It’s just that for the Yuki in Tomosane’s life, it was a bit more complicated so there needed more to be done to achieve that life?

Overall Review

Hahaha, oh well, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, I’m not too fascinated about that part anymore because I honestly thought the whole Tomosane, Yuki and Takuji thing was the most interesting thing about this novel. Although I wouldn’t say it’s a masterpiece for me, I did enjoy it more than I thought I would when I read the first chapter. Honestly, the fact that Steam only has the first chapter is ridiculous and useless because if I only read that chapter, I would have instantly just dropped this novel as this silly confusing thing that I didn’t care about. After It’s My Own Invention, my impression of the novel vastly improved because I really liked how it presented a different perspective but also kept to the storyline. It never really deviates, it focuses on the different thoughts and feelings of each character’s perspective and what they came to learn about what happened, and in this way, it helped you as the reader to slowly unravel the mystery of the story itself alongside the scenarios. The story explains to you what it implies and gives you answers bit by bit on what questions you would have whilst reading it and I really enjoyed that it did that. It slowly gives you answers through the story and the characters and it really makes the experience fulfilling because what you thought was right, mainly because the story gives lots of hints and everything to lead up to what it does.

Aside from the philosophical stuff about the world and everything, even if you just enjoy the story for what it is, it’s great because it depicts people’s emotions very well imo. I felt like I could really understand each character’s thoughts and feelings because of how detailed things were (to the point that it was such a long novel lol! I took ~59 hours to finish it all!). Honestly, I felt like a lot of things could be cut shorter such as the Kiyokawa stuff etc because they weren’t “necessary” to the novel and it made it unnecessarily long imo, especially a lot of the H-scenes loll, but I guess if it has a market, it’s understandable, I just skim through them lol. For me, Tomosane’s perspective in Jabberwocky I was my favourite chapter because I felt that it really showed how great of a character he was. I went from knowing nothing about him (aside from being violent) to him becoming my favourite character because you get to see his whole growth, his whole experience and how he handled his relationships and in fights with being a “personality” etc. It was really interesting, really fun and very emotional, it also answered the most important question of the existence of Hasaki. The bullying was so terrible that I’m not sure I want to feel all that again tbh because it really pained me and it was so uncomfortable to have to witness, but I do agree that it’s important to the whole experience of the characters. But yeah, I definitely liked the novel more than I thought and I would recommend it for people who don’t mind quite a bit of graphic stuff, it’s more to do with the imagination and thought of these things happening but there are some CGs accompanied with it that make it more disturbing though lol. Otherwise, I really enjoyed the story of how one person with multiple personalities could create such a complicated situation and cause such repercussions, yet make you want them to be happy haha.

[fireeaglespirit]

beyond-far-horizons

This is awesome and because *hangs head in shame* I dont play the games (i'm a noob with no money and my parents never let me have video games so I just like the story okay?) I have never seen this bit.

I ADORE multiverse/underworld stuff as you know or perhaps you don't as I don't know how far I got explaining Aeq and Midnight Palace but it is FULL of that stuff. I love the symbolism and it is very Jungian (I am the Priest of Jung okay, welcome to the New Testament of Jess!) But I need to sleep rn so we can get to it later.

Thank you for showing me because then I can reference it if I have time but I have so many other things going on right now and dunno I love fanfic and these stories but then I get down because I get virtually no response and I need that interaction to continue. It is my luck to always like dead fandoms with minor prequel characters I guess...still I do feel the fanfic has improved my writing and vice versa

I was thinking alot about hell and demons and what 'heaven' would be as I had a very detailed review on FF.net asking me all this questions, like why Sparda would long for the light if he is a demon and dunno, it always comes back to my pet theories of light and dark and the union of opposites. Sparda is so interesting because I feel he came to 'justice' on his own but probably also cemented by this mysterious priestess who he had to sacrifice. At least that is the way

the way I would go if I was developing the lore or a prequel game. It seems the most juicy option. Anyways this 'light' ties into my feelings about the transcendent, this higher power/reality urging all to grow and develop. I guess I would see demons as base and vicious aspects of reality and sources of wild and violent energy - very much as both Jung and early cultures saw them or primal gods or 'titans'.

It's also why I have a headcanon Sparda a)is fascinated by humans - they have the same struggles as him and b)he has a huge library on religions of the world, history, philosophy and science because he is still trying to discover the nature of reality just like Eva and this is what really brings them together.  I wrote this line last night when Eva looks at all the books 'So you devour our souls metaphorically instead of physically now?'

I debated on making Sparda saintly, like he has already has his struggle and is now secure in himself but that isn't interesting to me plus you know our shared love of fighting with the feral nature to ultimately make the person better. Plus I kinda like the romantic angst that way like with MadaMito hehe

Okay I need to go to bed now.

Ok, prepare for huge contrived reply incoming...

First of all. What??

I hate when parents do this. I’m so sorry, I never knew about it... I really hate this.

Video games are just another media, I never understood why people would pick on that and forbid their child from having some fun. FFS. 

If you want to play something some day I’ll always be there to help you installing, finding them, etc.. whatever you might need. Or even just finding anything related to games, etc.. I don’t play much these days as you know the multiple reasons but it was such an important part of my life I can barely imagine being cut out from this, even thought we always had old consoles this was very important.

About Sparda and the fic. I need to be sincere and say I’m taking so long to reply for two reasons. First because I LOVE the way you wrote Sparda but I was afraid of being too simplistic with my reply so I delved a lot on things...

But... tah-dah : I lost the huge reply I had wrote before. My note has 0 battery so its glued to the wall and it just turns off sometimes suddenly and I’m dumb and don’t save things so yeah. I kinda lost myself and got angry about that. 

Anyway, I understand what you said here, especially your feelings about the fic, in many ways I can see how my fandom views reflect in the original world I’m making, and the inverse is contrary. There are many parallels. It really helps and fandom work is as worthy as original, imo, I’ve been thinking about this. Our obsession with prequels and obscure characters has a reason and that is exactly because we want to explore what is hidden behind the veil... exploring the possibilities.

Sometimes it comes to shipping speculation, and this too has a reason.

Thinking about your views on Sparda and Eva, I thought a lot on what it truly means to write or develop an obscure ship and why we are so interested in that (think about that, many of our common favorite characters from prequels, etc..)

I came to the conclusion that in Eva/Sparda just like in many of our other ships, has the common theme of the heroin facing her ‘dark reflection’, her ‘animus’ as Jung would say (OH BOY I’m entering that with you), and she, at first rejects it like she reflects her own darker aspects, her unconscious… its abhorrent for her so she seeks to destroy it as rapidly as possible as seen by Eva’s renewed determination after learning Sparda’s true nature in chapter 1. The animus represents her doubts and unconscious... However what we see in your story is much more interesting. 

Most stories of this kind focus solely in the female aspect changing from her interactions with the male, who is already developed, but here we have Eva being able to re-awaken some viciousness in Sparda when it seems he has been quite restrained from quite some time (centuries) but also, something that is much more interesting.. it calls to his own determination and his own personal story and sacrifice, for some reason his ‘lust’ and brush with the dark side makes it all more important and more powerful than if he simply had been saintly at that point, like you said. It makes he revisit it all and ponder.

I love how you added lines of ‘temptation’ from Mundus, part of Sparda seeks to surrender to his ‘nature’ as its just so easy, like slip in a pair of old shoes... while the priestess memory, albeit silently, fights it and reminds him of his struggle and his ideals and ultimately her sacrifice which was also his own sacrifice (of his old ways). I think his darker side has been neglected and I think you will use this to develop Sparda into greater heights. Its great we get to see this in the actual story and he is not perfect, but he certainly is incredible. 

Also, just as a side-note I loved how you described his hunger as mostly non-carnal as he glimpses her spirit and its light... when we see Sparda’s POV we get reminded every time of his non-human nature and his non-human perception of things which is clearly different. A demon’s prey is not flesh but spirit and this makes a lot of sense and a lot of potential.

To sum it up, you snatched the best of both worlds and is about to develop both characters under a relationship, as they have a lot to learn and gain from each other. I think this is the way your narrative is going, more or less.

These developments are unique aspects which I find extremely interesting and you are doing this in such a genial way and I can see already by the end of the latest chapter the strings of the themes I mentioned are pulled and ready to be followed.

So yeah, they’re in for a journey of development together. Neither of them starts the story as a ‘perfect’ entity either way... This was shown in a very nice way as you pointed out misconceptions regarding both sides involving the duo of protagonists.

“I was thinking alot about hell and demons and what 'heaven' would be as I had a very detailed review on FF.net asking me all this questions, like why Sparda would long for the light if he is a demon and dunno, it always comes back to my pet theories of light and dark and the union of opposites. Sparda is so interesting because I feel he came to 'justice' on his own but probably also cemented by this mysterious priestess who he had to sacrifice. At least that is the way I would go if I was developing the lore or a prequel game. It seems the most juicy option. Anyways this 'light' ties into my feelings about the transcendent, this higher power/reality urging all to grow and develop. I guess I would see demons as base and vicious aspects of reality and sources of wild and violent energy - very much as both Jung and early cultures saw them or primal gods or 'titans'.”

I abstained a bit from the conversation earlier as I feared my careless/godless (lmao) perception was too disturbing for you or anyone but I also pondered on concepts such as heaven and hell, salvation, damnation, etc.. when considering Sparda’s tale. I know DMC isn't Christianity but its imagery is somewhat based on Abrahamic religion/mythos so I’m bound to take in consideration some of my ideas regarding biblical mythology, as in... 

When I started reading the bible so long ago it always puzzled me to imagine what exactly were angels/demons. I mean, are they even able to think in the same way as us?? Or are them more like ‘robots’, AI following orders (especially angels sometimes strikes me as that) and perhaps demons are those ‘robots’ that rebelled against their determined function, idk.

Something I wondered more than a decade ago was if demons in the bible are truly lost in every way so I started thinking within the dmc setting. I’m interested in that all and those things I mentioned. The interesting part is that I once asked that to my catechist if demons could be redeemed (lmao I was crazy, I know, but bored above all). She was at first very mad with me (she was always) but she reluctantly told me that demons had known god up close and felt his power so their sin in not following him is much bigger than a human’s, something of the sorts. So it sounded like they are also able to choose their way and I sort of apply this to dmc, lol. I’m weird, I know...

Are they capable or ‘worthy’ of forgiveness, because demons in dmc clearly have free will and thought like us, or at least similar to us. Some of them, like Sparda have clearly a lot of intellect, but like you said... others are very ‘primal’. Perhaps this is the key. The ‘evolved’ demon develops intellect and power... perhaps you are in the right track and it goes hand in hand? Does this make any sense?? The more powerful and developed they are, the more they develop ‘higher brain functions’ and star resembling a human more, idk because the lower demons in dmc are clearly more animal-like and primal while Sparda has a human-like shape and intellect.

I think I know where we are going and this looks like both angels and demons are actually a ‘reflection’ of human psyche. So, demons are the primal ancient aspects of the brain are somehow walking around hell just like that, while heaven and its inhabitants are mysterious. I really like the way you described hell and its inhabitants, it makes a lot of sense to imagine it as a part of human psyche embodied, in a way. I imagine Heaven as the exact inverse of Hell so it has its own creatures and they’re born from ‘order’ instead of chaos as stated above.

We have Bayonetta as a source of inspiration and I think its very valid to use that in order to understand Sparda. Heaven isn’t exactly good there, is it? In fact it appears like a very controlling environment.    

Hell: Primal, violent, survival of the fittest anyone? Hell inhabitants embodied  the most basic aspects of the brain, as you said.

Heaven: It might stem from higher planes of thinking and represent the more ‘sublime’ or ‘newer’ aspects of the evolving mammal brain.

It might make an easy choice for heaven but also such tight atmosphere is bound to become stagnant, it is no longer permitting flaws and strong emotions (thus angels look apathetic af in Bayonetta). 

It might seem at first glance that heaven is good, hell is bad, however I think, if you delve into heaven you might realize the beings born there might be too ‘disembodied’ as they represent exactly those parts of human psyche which are the most sublime. Let me explain, I always felt like too much spirituality tends to make people leave behind the reality of things, it might make them lack empathy for living beings who have to commit difficult decisions on a living basis, basic survival, starvation, the struggle for life, etc..

Think about enlightenment and Bodhisattva, also the rituals of mortification which are legit scary and reminds me of this concept as only those who leave behind all that is ‘mortal’ and are detached to an extreme, can reach Nirvana. I know this has not much to do with Christianity but even in this religion we find analogous associations regarding detachment as divine and saintly. Its also harmful in a way, or am I reaching? While too much focus on the primal/carnal leads to obvious horrible things: vice and chaos; too much detachment leads to apathy.

I do think some level of detachment is necessary to reach happiness but too much of it makes people forget the reality of life and makes them not able to relate anymore to the ones around them, as the focus becomes solely spiritual it kind of deafens them to the ‘real world’ and ignore it.

This is all about reaching a balance as its is our favorite theme, too much light is bad, too much darkness is bad, etc.. or else the story would fall into itself as the reality of the three settings (heaven, hell, earth) would be rigid.

So here we have a darker aspect of heaven, imo, to balance things out.

Heaven is clearly ‘order’ and hell is ‘chaos’ so we might as well find a balance... our favorite theme as always. The fact that one being like Sparda, born amidst ultimate chaos would gaze upward in delight and desire something else doesn't surprise me. The fact is he could be bitter about it, you even gave away the line on your fic where Sparda mentions he has been denied ‘light’. I wonder what exactly that means and this is one of my favorite aspects of your Sparda is that he is aware of his condition and even thought he worked against it its still lingering to him.. like his own flickering appearance.

But he hasn’t made his way up to heaven, huh? 

So its not a far reach to believe in it (that he desired ‘light’, whatever it is) but my personal belief is that too much ‘light’ is not good either and Sparda realized the beauty in flawed humanity, which sits right in the middle of light and darkness, order and chaos... that’s why he became enamored by the concept of humanity and all the struggle our own condition imposes upon us.

For me this is an archetypal theme.

Just food for thought.

The matter is... how? What exactly awakened him to justice? 

This makes stuff much more interesting. This was a huge ramble, I know but I needed to develop this and see if it works,

It's also why I have a headcanon Sparda a)is fascinated by humans - they have the same struggles as him and b)he has a huge library on religions of the world, history, philosophy and science because he is still trying to discover the nature of reality just like Eva and this is what really brings them together.  I wrote this line last night when Eva looks at all the books 'So you devour our souls metaphorically instead of physically now?'

So yeah, about a) I’m totally with you and I can see why Sparda would empathize with humans, as I talked earlier and I think my explanation on why Sparda would be fascinated by humans instead of ‘angels’ is made up above and I hope this doesn't sound too weird, just my line of thought.

As a demon, he’s born from a very ‘imperfect’ reality. He knows how shitty things can be... Now I really wonder how his life was before he ‘awakened to justice’ he must have witnessed some remarkably horrible things in his life..

Under the setting I mentioned, it would be I think its kinda easier for a demon to do this since angels would be too stuck up in their haven, idk so this is how Sparda, the unlikely hero is the first of these beings to take arms and defend humanity. Sparda is so special as he was the one to side with humans by his own decision and free will. What a guy!

I debated on making Sparda saintly, like he has already has his struggle and is now secure in himself but that isn't interesting to me plus you know our shared love of fighting with the feral nature to ultimately make the person better. Plus I kinda like the romantic angst that way like with MadaMito hehe

I’m glad you didn't! This is probably a gradual process even thought they say he ‘awakened to justice’ which makes it seem like he suddenly just did so I believe he had brewing feelings from his life as a demon in hell... 

He must have been such an unique individual to perceive truths his peers where not ready to learn and truly, an act of rebellion against the system itself coming from someone who is ‘supposed’ to do only harm is really something we want to see on screen and I’m so glad you didn't simplify it as being a single event in his life.

I’m really in love with this theme because it shows these beings are able to change their own destinies, even someone with such dark origins.