#because fuck i missed these stupid hashtag conversations

[lifelonglemon]

Sooooo.... I hear porn fandom is coming back to tumblr.

[canoneventschmanonevent]

Allergy meds made me loopy for a whole day and all because I got myself roses. Note to self, no flowers before Ruby releases a chapter. Stupid stupid decision.

Anyways, let's get down to business.

Miguel getting injured because he's consumed with sweet girl...

It's the way he just has cartoon purple lines grouped on his figure like a black hole of grumpiness and the only one who can get through is her 🥺🥺😭😭🥰

I love how they actually sit down and have a conversation. Love how she specifies that no, she didn't walk away because she thought he didn't like her back. No, she walked away because she needed time and space to sort out her side of things. It's a very mature thing to do and I'm really really happy you put it in.

Also. It's the way he just goes 'Sex? I can give you that. But I want to give you more' BITCH AS IF YOU WON'T JUMP OUT OF THE TOPMOST FLOOR OF HQ IF SHE ASKED YOU SIMP

The way he instinctively makes space for her to stand in between his legs. The way he gives them both privacy because it's what they're both comfortable with. The way he says 'you make it easy' when he's already hard and dripping for her. The way he says I'm sorry because she's clearly not ready and consent is important and sexy

Ughhhhh. This man. The way you write this man.

Also. Ruby. Miss Ruby. What the fuck. I'm ovulating do you really think I can handle this man and sweet girl in the rest of the chapter? Ma'am doth you hath narry a single worry for my poor poor heart? Thou art sadistic, Miss.

He lets her take control, set the pace, make decisions because she should be comfortable and happy. Ugh I need him carnally I swear.

I am terrified of needles but I'm getting my nipples pierced by next year coz of this fucking fic I'm not even kidding. Ugh hey god it's me again-

Um. This is a bit TMI. Speaking as a person who has literally zero sexual experience other than theoretical, sucking dick sounds fucking amazing and very very much a turn on (which is not apparently the consensus, speaking from friend circle survey), and thank you for letting me live vicariously through sweet girl coz mother nature knows if I could get my lips on that man's cock you'd have to pull me awa- *gunshots* *sirens sound* *helicopter crashes*

MIGUEL O'HARA YOU. THE FUCKING MAN THAT YOU ARE. I- I don't even have words. Sweet Girl get dat tongue hashtag jealous

Forget heaven Satan won't let me in hell after the thoughts I have in my head rn

Just gonna go lay down for a while processing this chapter. Kindly contact me after 5-7 business hours please.

Can't wait for chap 8. I'm gonna miss sweet girl a lot. She feels so authentic and genuinely reminds me of the hangups I might have. Thank you so much for introducing us to this wonderful universe of sweet girl and Miguel <333

Confession

Summary: You come to Miguel when he least expects, and now there is no turning back.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x spider-woman!reader

Word count: 3.9k

18+. Miguel POV. Obsessive Miguel. Inexperienced/V*rgin reader. Oral s*x. Body worship. Dry h*mping. Br*eding k*nk.

Part 1 - Previous part

Miguel chose to give you space and time.

For two whole days, he had kept all interactions with you at a minimum. 

Not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

It pained him that things between you two were now in this limbo. You were still your sweet self as expected, but Miguel had soured. Anyone within a three meter radius could spot it.

So when he walked into HQ with blood dripping from his face, no one dared approach him besides the occasional spider asking if he needed anything.

He dismissed all of them and headed to Lab 2 in search of a first-aid kit to deal with the bleeding bruises. 

"Need help, boss?" a fellow spider offered.

Miguel shook his head, and kept going through the countless shelves until you came into his field of vision right in the corner of his eye.

His heart immediately skipped a beat as usual.

Holding a small bag in your hand, you rummaged through it and handed him two pieces of gauze.

"Thanks," he grumbled under his breath, as he pressed the soft fabric to his face.

"What happened?"

Miguel scoffed and turned his head away from you, not wanting to extend the conversation.

He heard you heave a sigh. "Okay, Mr. Grumpy. Can you please move away, then?"

This time, he shifted to glare at you in confusion.

You smiled warmly and pointed at the lab counter that was covered in drops of blood.

Oh.

He grabbed the bag from your hands and began pacing towards his station, but it seemed that you had no intention of parting ways with him just yet.

And that hurt more than any of his wounds.

Having you around was intoxicating enough, but having to go days without barely seeing or interacting with you, had taken a toll on him.

And the result had been sloppiness and being caught off guard by an anomaly.

Very amateur of him.

Very unlike him.

And all because he had filled his mind with you, since he couldn't physically have you.

But you insisted on being present in his life even when you didn't have to.

Miguel walked through the door and let it slide shut, knowing fully well that wouldn't deter you from stepping inside as well. 

"Let me take a look. Please."

He threw you a side-glance, and stopped to glare at his own reflection on the nearby glass wall instead, and determined that the damage could have been much worse. 

"Miguel O'Hara, stop being stubborn and let me take a look."

Your kind voice was chewing at his nerves, and he had to take a deep breath to stop himself from snapping.

He'd rather not have you at all than having your pity.

But then again, there was still that part of him that craved your attention.

And he gave in, like the fool he was. 

"Fine."

You were standing by his desk, and he saw the triumph glimmer in your face. "Take a seat."

He swallowed and did what you asked, allowing your hands to cup his face. Your touch had his stomach flip, and he couldn't bring himself from breaking eye contact with you, even when you moved your finger under his chin, tilting his head back slightly.

"Right," you said in a low voice, before removing the bloodied gauze. "It's very superficial. I think I can just use liquid stitches."

He figured as much, but his focus wasn't on his bodily bruises anymore, but on the delicate touch of your hands, the intensity of your roaming eyes, and, above all else, your warmth.

"Hold the bag a bit higher."

Miguel offered it to you, and you smiled in return.

That sweet smile of yours that had him tightly wrapped around your finger for so long.

His sweet girl…

Your touch left his skin briefly as you gathered the needed material to fix him. Miguel allowed his eyes to flutter shut, occasionally hissing from the sting of the antiseptic as you cleaned his wounds. His mind went blank for a few seconds, and he only focused on enjoying how you took care of him.

Miguel had forgotten what it felt like to be taken care of. He had spent so much time looking after others, that having the roles switched felt so foreign, yet so welcome.

"I didn't think you could ever get injured," you said with a faint chuckle, breaking the comfortable silence.

Miguel knew you were trying to lighten the mood, but he remained silent.

You worked on him with impressive expertise, patching him up.

Once you were done, you lightly patted the edges of the adhesive that covered his wounds and stepped away.

Pride settled on your face, and you moved to sit on the chair across his. "Looking good as new."

"Thank you."

He wished he was strong enough to ask you to leave, but he had missed these little moments. He had accepted you needed time and space, but it still hurt to think that he could have been there for you, and that you had pushed him away instead.

You drummed your fingers on the table for a while before taking a deep breath. "Miguel… we should talk."

"What about?"

"Us."

Miguel slowly straightened in his seat. 

You had his full attention now.

"I don't want things between us to feel awkward," you began, eyes fixed on his. "I don't want us to grow apart…"

He hadn't seen this coming. He assumed it would take longer than this for you to come to him again.

He wasn't often wrong about many things, but he had been wrong about this.

Cocking an eyebrow at you, he leaned back. "Then what do you want?"

Your gaze faltered briefly. "I thought it'd be easier being with you intimately. It felt less… suffocating. It made it easier for me to bury my feelings." You paused and swallowed. "I know people do this casually, and I assumed you felt that way, too…"

He remained silent for a while, slowly digesting the information you had just dropped on him. 

It felt like a confession of sorts, but that last part left a sour taste in his mouth.

"You assumed wrongly," he finally spoke, face twisting into a light scowl. "Is this why you pushed me away the other day? Because you think I only look at you that way?"

Your eyes shot up and you shook your head. "I didn't push you away… I… never meant for that, anyway. I just needed time to think," you said in a whisper. "Like I said, I know some people do this casually… and I would be fine with you just wanting that. I still am," you corrected yourself.

A part of Miguel felt incredulous at this turn of events. Were you confessing you had deeper feelings for him? Or was it all surface-level? 

But another part of him wasn't allowing him to fully savour the first possibility. He wanted you. He needed you. But the conclusion you had drawn of him stirred annoyance inside him.

"What do you want from me?" He snapped a bit too harshly.

Your mouth parted, but no sound came out.

"Sex? I can give you that," he said dryly. "But that is not all I want. Is that all you want?"

You looked restless. "I… I think I want more."

"You think? I don't want anything from you that you won't give willingly," he said in a softer tone this time. "This doesn't have to be more than it is. If all you want is intimacy, I can help you out. But I wish for more, and I want you aware of that."

You remained still for a while as if weighing your options.

Not long after, you nodded.

There was absolutely no doubt inside him. He was sure of how he felt about you, and he was too desperate to have anything he could take. Even casual sexual intimacy if that was what it took to soothe his frustration.

But he couldn't hide his true intentions any longer, and had to make things crystal clear for you.

"What about Tom?"

Your eyes widened. "Tom?"

"Yes. How do you feel about him?"

He needed reassurance.

"We'll work on rebuilding our friendship… but that's it."

That was good enough. Realistically, Miguel didn't expect you to sever your bond to your childhood friend. He didn't even want you to, so long as you weren't getting your feelings hurt.

You then rose to your feet and walked to him with unsure steps. Once you were in front of him, Miguel instinctively parted his legs, allowing your to close the distance between you two.

You glanced around you, and Miguel knew what you were silently assessing.

With a quick tap of a finger on his watch, rendering the glass windows opaque.

The newfound privacy made you visibly relax, and you brought your hands to either side of his head, before raking gentle fingers through his hair.

Miguel had to bite back a moan, and tilted his head back, angling it perfectly with yours.

His heart drummed rapidly inside him as you lowered your face to press the softest kiss to his forehead, and he brought his arms to envelop you into a tight embrace, his chin resting in between your breasts.

There was comfort in this type of silence.

Actions did speak louder than words, after all.

The way you began trailing kisses down his face, carefully avoiding his wounds, had him melting into your touch.

You hesitated upon reaching his lips, hovering over them with your own.

He could feel your breath fanning them rhythmically, and he felt the impending erection stirring down below.

And then you kissed him.

It was shy and controlled at first, but he quickly parted his lips, deepening the kiss. You moaned into him first, gently tugging at strands of his hair. Miguel's groan tore through his throat and he dropped his hands to your waist, gripping them tightly and bringing you closer to his strained erection.

You jolted once you felt it nudging your legs, breaking the kiss momentarily.

"Hard already?" 

The genuine tease in your voice awoke in him the urge to breed you. It was primal and intense, and he knew he should keep that to himself for now. However, he would need to know if you were on birth control eventually. 

"You make it easy," he chose to say, placing one hand to the back of your neck, pulling you into yet another kiss.

He would devour you if you allowed him to.

His tongue slipped past his lips and met yours halfway. You tugged at his hair again and he bucked his hips against you.

He was so painfully hard and already dripping precum.

Just for you.

His sweet girl.

You let him take control and only parted from him once his other hand began to move to your front, fingers dipping between your legs.

Your body language told him to immediately stop, and he did.

"I'm sorry."

You shook your head. "I'm… still getting used to this…" your voice was but a whisper. "Can I… come over to your place later today?"

His cock was throbbing impatiently, craving release from his tight digital suit, but he nodded.

He wanted you to feel comfortable and safe around him, so he placed your needs above his.

He silently vowed to always do this.

You brought your lips to his unarmed cheek and pressed a fleeting peck to it.

"See you later, Mr. Grumpy," you said with a smile before exiting through the sliding door.

Miguel looked down at the visible outline of his cock and contemplated easing some of the tension, but he decided against it.

He would gladly build up all the frustration within him and only you would be able to relieve him from it.

You came to him late at night, before the clock struck midnight.

For the second time that day, you had come to him.

Your steps echoed through the hall and you came into sight, immediately earning his undivided attention. 

"Hey, you."

Miguel's lips twitched into a faint smile. "Hey."

You were wearing a flowery dress that trapped his gaze. It fit you perfectly, but he couldn't wait to get it off you.

Laughing nervously, you took determined steps to where he sat on his couch until you were close enough. 

Miguel met your eyes and watched carefully as you lowered yourself to straddle his waist. Instinctively, his hands slipped under your dress to grip your hips into him.

Then he noticed you weren't wearing anything underneath.

You giggled, biting your lip teasingly. "Is this too much?"

"It's not even enough."

He caressed your skin with his thumbs, as he positioned you right on top of his hardening cock, that was now stirring slowly inside his sweatpants.

You gasped softly as your folds parted to accommodate the underside of his cock, increasing the pressure on your clit.

Miguel considered immediately removed the only layer of clothing that was in the way, but he wanted to feel you soak the fabric.

"I really, really like you," you said through half-hooded eyes, caressing the edges of the bandage covering the wound on his cheek.

Then, you took his lips in yours.

This time, you were the one taking the lead and he let you set the pace. He tasted the impatience and hunger in you, and helped you grind against him. You were a fast learner. You already knew how to sway your hips sensually against his cock, drawing a low groan from him.

Miguel felt his cock fully harden just from feeling your body undulating under the palms of his hands. 

You were going to kill him one day. He was sure of this.

Your hands moved from his shoulder to your chest, undoing the cute buttons that held the dress together.

He broke the kiss so he could marvel at your breasts coming into view, as you allowed the fabric to slide down your shoulders and arms.

The nipple piercings glistened, and he felt his cock twitch from the sight of the spider pendant dangling from each of them.

He wanted to make you custom ones. Maybe with his own symbol. Or his initials. He wanted to mark you as his, and what better way than this?

"Please touch me," you begged, arching your back lightly.

Sweet.

Hungry.

His.

He brought both hands to your chest and grazed your nipples with the pads of both thumbs, hardening them.

You moaned softly, and kept riding his clothed cock.

"Can I tug gently?"

"Please…"

Miguel's hips jerked to meet yours, and he felt your wetness finally seeping through his pants.

He twirled your nipples at first in between his fingers, before gripping the metal piercing, tugging ever so slightly in awe.

You gasped loudly this time, stilling yourself as he admired the jewelry.

"I'll make you custom ones," he promised, as he positioned himself to press a kiss to one nipple. "With my symbol."

You whimpered with a nod. "Yes…"

You'd look so pretty being marked by him.

He wrapped his lips around the nipple, capturing and twirling the pendant with his tongue.

Too bad you hadn't been bred yet. He would have loved to taste your milk as you carried his child. 

You pressed down on him, and the motion of your pussy dragging along his cock was enough to draw the first beads of precum.

He couldn't care less that he was about to get soaked in it, as he knew his body was only trying to prepare itself to be inside yours.

"Slowly… Miguel…" you pleaded in between moans, burying your hands in his hair. "Miguel…"

He could easily get addicted to you mumbling his name like that, but he did release the nipple, admiring how perky it looked.

Before he could have it in his mouth for a second round, you slipped off of him, settling on the floor and in between his legs.

He quickly spotted the damp spot along the outline of his cock from you grinding viciously on him.

"What is it?" he asked, unsure of what to do next.

A faint pout settled on your lips. "Can I… can you show me how to… do it?"

His eyes widened at the realisation of what you meant when your gaze landed on his crotch.

"Are you sure?"

You merely nodded, hands grasping at his waistband, gently pulling it down until his cock sprang free.

Immediately, you straightened yourself and shifted closer. He could feel your curious gaze on him, as strings of precum dripped from the tip.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, wondering how long it would take for him to cum from this.

"Open your mouth," he breathed, and you immediately complied. "Just give it a few licks first."

You nodded and darted out your tongue to press it flat along the underside of his cock.

He immediately flinched, but still gripping it at the base to to push it towards you.

You pulled back with a pout. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. It feels really good…"

A sweet smile tugged at your lips. "What now?"

He inhaled sharply, trying to keep himself from going over the edge too soon.

"Lick the tip…" 

This time, you wrapped your fingers around him, and positioned yourself until your tongue grazed along the tip, collecting the thick droplets of precum.

He had to grip the cushions on his couch to steady himself, not wanting to accidentally shove his cock into your mouth.

You kept your eyes on him, working your tongue around the sensitive tip until he saw the strings of precum mixed with your saliva begin to dribble from the corners of your mouth.

He immediately pressed his eyes shut.

The visual stimulation would only make him reach his peak faster, and he wanted you to be able to take his cock in your mouth before he exploded.

You kept giving him quick licks, further edging him.

"You need to stop…" he groaned, his hips lifting from the couch. "Please…"

Once you did, he opened his eyes again only to be met by the thick and long strings of precum of either side of your chin to drip down to your breasts.

"Too much?" you asked shyly, swiping your tongue along your bottom lip.

Fuck.

You looked so fucking delicious.

But he needed more.

"Do you think you can fit it in your mouth now?"

You quickly nodded. "I think so."

Miguel knew he was not going to last long. "Go slowly…"

You didn't need to be told twice, and craned your neck before lowering yourself and sliding the tip past your lips.

His hips instantly bucked, further sliding in and nearly gagging you.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, lovingly caressing your cheek.

You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it was hard to do with his thick cock stuffing your mouth.

"Suck gently…" he said with a groan that quickly turned into a hiss once you began to suckle softly. "Just like that…"

You were so good for him…

He saw your eyes watering slightly as you took him even deeper. "Don't be greedy… you're doing just fine, sweet girl."

By this point, more beads of precum and saliva began to spill from the corners of your mouth, streaming down your face until they connected under your chin into a single strand that dangled further and further down.

Miguel felt his balls tighten lightly as a warning sign.

He was actually impressed with how long it was taking for him to reach an orgasm.

And that was when he decided he didn't want to cum just yet.

Slowly, he gripped your chin and slid off your mouth, earning a muffled protest from you until he was fully out, a string of precum bridging your lower lip to his tip.

"Miguel… why?"

You were pouting again and he nearly lost it. 

"Come here," he asked, trying not to focus too much on how his body was throbbing for release.

You wiped the wetness from your face with the back of your hand, but did as you were told, standing up.

"Do you trust me?"

You nodded right away. 

"I want you to lay on your back," he instructed with a sultry voice. "Then I want your legs over my shoulders."

You seemed to hesitate at first, but moved to sit on his thighs, as Miguel grabbed your hips to help you slide into his desired position. Your legs parted to rest on his shoulders and he effortless lifted your hips.

"Oh…" you drawled out as your dress slid up your thighs, until you were fully exposed to him.

Miguel almost groaned at the sight of your swollen clit peeking through your soaked folds.

"Tell me if it gets too much."

"Why would I-" your words did in your mouth the moment he dragged his tongue across your folds, tasting you for the first time.

He felt your hips jerk lightly under his touch, but he had decided to bring you over the edge with just his mouth.

So, naturally, Miguel began to eat you out.

His thirst for you was satiated with each flick of his tongue across your throbbing clit, yanking the most delicious gasps and whimpers from you.

He first let his tongue slide past your opening, as his nose pressed against your clit.

You choked on a sob as he went deeper. "Oh…oh my…"

Your wetness quickly began to coat his his lips and chin, as he continued to feast on your tast.

"Miguel… I… please…"

His cock twitched at the sound of your voice, and he slipped out of you only to wrap his lips around your clit.

Your hips bucked violently into him, and he had to still you with both hands, so he could properly suckle on it.

More wetness spilled from you, fueling Miguel's ego, as it was the best indicator that your body was yearning for him to breed you. He felt it pool in his tongue and eagerly swallowed as much as he could, feeling intoxicated with your taste.

He sucked a bit more fiercely and could tell you were close. So, so close.

Come for me, cariño…

You were mumbling his name with other incoherent words as you reached your peak.

As soon as he felt you tip over the edge, he let go of your clit and plunged his tongue inside, so he could feel your contracting rhythmically around him.

Your whimpers turned into loud grunts as your orgasm spread throughout your body like wildfire. Your legs began to shake and he wrapped his fingers around his own cock, pumping it in unison with each contraction.

His senses were completely flooded and it didn't take long for his balls to tighten and the first spurts of cum to gush from the tip.

As you descended from your bliss, Miguel entered his, leaning back against the backrest and groaning loudly as he rolled his own hips, desperately fucking his hand.

His fangs were fully on display as your wetness dripped from them while also running down his chin and neck.

By the time he was able to come to his senses again, you had slipped from his grasp, kneeling on the floor with your head pressed to his thigh, breathing erratically.

The two of you remained silent, as both struggled to even out your breaths.

His cum had landed on his shirt, seeping through the fabric and dribbling down his toned abdomen.

"Do you want to spend the night…" Miguel finally managed to find his words again, caressing your cheek approvingly.

You were panting heavily and could only nod.

Part 8 (final part) coming soon!

Masterlist

[lola-andheruniverse]

So I just watched 11x09! Pretty neat episode, good pacing, lots of things happened (thank God) and not one to demolished our ship. Yey!

First of all, I'm so happy TWD is back! I really missed this zombie telenovela full of nonsensical action scenes and contrived dialogues hashtag my favourite show.

Nobody asked me but here are my few cents about it, I tried not to be too spoilery and I don't know how to add cut on the app so proceed carefully:

TWD SPOILERS TWD SPOILERS

1. All the action scenes with exploding zombies and all just felt a little meh to me. Like I think they were properly done yeah but I don't get on the edge of my seat anymore. Guess that's okay, too many years watching these fucking dumb zombies to feel threatened by them. TWD zombies got nothing compared to TWD spoilers.

2. Gracie really needs to learn how to defend herself. Loved all Aaron scenes, as usual.

3. Don't have anything to elaborate about Lydia. She's babe and deserves all acceptance and happiness and love and I hope we will see more of her on 11b.

4. Father Gabriel had is chance to talk to the religious Reaper and it was marvelous. Great scene, great pay off! I wish he got the chance to meet Pope as well, but we need to be happy for whatever crumbs this show gives us. He and Rosita..I think she's still mad he left with Maggie to a suicide mission and managed to get back alive but just barely. Girl was just really tired after fighting dozens of walkers in the middle of a storm and really hungry and that's what saved him of a 'cabron, I told you so', fucking stupid man'. They still a strange pairing but they really felt like a married couple with things to discuss on their reunion.

5. Talking about married couples who need to have a conversation cough caryl cough that little hug full of relief and tension and let's talk about it later because we are still stranded but we love each other hug cough. So nice to see Daryl hugging his family, Carol taught him to be a hugger and now he can have all the hugs he wants. He deserves them all. D*nnie reunion was very sweet and not charged with heavy emotions AT ALL. And to think people were talking about a new Terminus hug. They really need to stop exaggerating on spoilers before a caryler has a heart attack induced by stress. Am I the only one who thought it was interesting to not see Daryl's facial expressions when he hugged the Dixon family but that we did see his face when he hugged C*nnie? And the juxtaposition of that scene with Carol and Maggie reuniting? AK we know what you're doing, you're not mysterious at all.

6. They are really keeping RJ on silence because the boy can't act. Poor kid. He's still very cute looking at his apple with his neutral face.

7. We got our Alden question answered and it shocked 0 people. I liked the dude but he won't be missed. Anyways, I thought it was a beautiful scene delivered by Lauren Cohan.

8. Couldn't care less about Maggie x Negan sorry but I'll miss him serving as comic relief. I feel we'll have another Negan bottle episode on the near future and I don't know how to fell about it.

9. All the Reapers are gone except Leah. She'll steal more precious screen time with her drama but what can we do besides pray to have her ass kicked by Carol, right?

BEST SCENE OF THE WHOLE EPISODE: Eugene lonely clapping after introducing Lance to our exhausted and suspicious Team Family. Chef kiss 🤌

Also..where is Nabila and her adorable kids? Jerry, what they did to your family? They = TPTB

And that's it, I'm ready to the Commenwealth bonkers spoilers now. Send them all!

[anonquack]

| Give In |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 1858

Warnings: None!

Summary: The twitter trending page brings attention to some feelings you and Quackity had been avoiding, but it also allows you two to admit said feelings.

As a fairly popular streamer, it wasn't uncommon to see your name on the Twitter trending page every once in a while. However, it had never been for something quite like this.

It was currently trending at #6, viewers going crazy over certain interactions that had happened during Quackity's stream.

Now, it wasn't uncommon for you to be on Quackity's streams, and it certainly wasn't uncommon for either of you to act the way you had acted during that night's stream. But something was obviously different this time around.

The trend was regarding a possible relationship between two content creators in the same community, and consisted of people freaking out over certain clips of that night's stream or other people bringing other clips from months prior explaining their theories on how this has been going on for months now.

It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, seeing the world associate you with Quackity in such a way. I mean, he was funny, and he was certainly attractive. But it didn't make it any less strange.

You had been scrolling through the trending hashtag, looking at the tweets and crazy theories some viewers had come up with, nervously biting at your nails, perhaps a laugh here and there at the tweets that were ridiculously far fetched.

That night's stream was like any other, a casual Jackbox stream with a few other content creators in the same friend group, a rather chill, yet chaotic, stream. It had started perfectly fine until halfway through, the jokes and verses shared didn't seem like jokes anymore, nor did they stop coming. It wasn't weird or uncommon for the viewers to witness you flirting with Quackity or vice versa. But it had never gone to this extent.

It was always a fair balance of "I hate you so much" mixed with flirty remarks here and there. That night's stream had just been nonstop flirting though. And at the moment it didn't seem too bad, it felt natural, you were comfortable behaving that way with Quackity.

After stream ended, everybody had said their goodbyes to each other and you'd gone to lay in bed to use your phone. Only to be slapped in the face with the fact that you and Alex were now trending because people were freaking out over the idea that you two might actually be dating or into each other.

How much of the bullshit you two were saying during the stream was actually real feelings and how much was for a bit? That was Twitter's current Hot Topic.

Watching the clips now made you realize how some were really out of pocket, and things that friends do not say to each other. Your hands moved on their own and soon enough, Bad was on the other end of the line, asking if you were okay.

"Bad," you breathed out after hearing his voice, "The people think Quackity and I are actually dating. Or into each other."

"Mm yeah, I saw on Twitter shortly after the stream ended.." He said, as you gently continued to bite at your nails.

"I.. rewatched the clips and I can kinda see why it was taken that way."

"I mean, it was just for a bit, no?"

"That's the thing."

".. What do you mean, Y/N?"

"It started off as a bit.. but lately it's been happening off stream too and.. I don't know. My feelings are all over the place and I'm just so confused."

Your small ramble was met with silence, Bad trying to do his best with this new information, and scrambling to look for supportive words that could help his friend.

"Oh–" He paused, before continuing, "Have you talked to him? Maybe try and see how he feels about it trending? Or just the fact that people think you guys are dating? His reaction could be telling of how he feels."

Bad's words were ringing against your temple. His suggestion was for you to straight up ask Quackity how he felt about being associated to you romantically. That sounded like an absolute nightmare.

After a few minutes and more reassuring words, the call ended and you felt this sense of courage wash over you. Bad had motivated you enough to feel like you were strong/brave enough to confront Quackity. Before anything could take place, you received a message from none other than Quackity.

Quackity Have you seen?

Y/N

Call me

It didn't take even a few seconds for your phone to start ringing.

"Y/N" He breathed out, it was obvious that this was affecting him as well. How, exactly? You weren't too sure. He could be bothered at the idea of dating, or maybe he was confused as well.

"They think we're dating." You said softly.

"They do."

There was silence for a bit before you spoke up again.

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't really mind it."

His words shocked you, but they came out with the same smoothness you had grown to like over the last few months. It was a tone he only used with you, whether it be during a stream where you two were bickering over stupid shit, or off stream just randomly talking and complimenting the other.

It was the tone he used late at night on call, the tone that sent shivers down your spine, interlacing and dripping down like honey, yet you'd shrug it off, claiming the AC was up too high.

After a moment, you finally respond.

"Yeah? How come?"

"They've thought that for several months now."

"But it doesn't bother you? They're shoving you into a relationship with your friend."

"Does it bother you?"

Silence again.

"No.."

"How come?"

"..don't know."

There was a small pause, you could hear your heart beating rapidly in your ears, scared of what he'd think at the small confession. But he didn't say anything, swiftly changing the topic instead.

"I watched the clips."

"Me too."

"I can see where they got those ideas from."

Silence. Before he continued.

"Y/N, there are clips that are months old. Just you and I flirting with each other. Me offering a kiss, you threatening to take my kiss privileges when I take a joke too far. You telling me to shut up, the random 'I miss you's and interactions on other people's streams, the way your voice softens when you join my late night streams just to talk to me.. so many different things."

As he talked, you couldn't help but close your eyes in- almost shame- nervously biting at your nails as multiple thoughts raced through your head, possible feelings that might have been buried in order to avoid any awkward confrontations. His listing continued and it only made you more anxious.

"I saw them. I saw, Quackity. I'm not fucking blind." Perhaps it came out harsher than you wanted, but he certainly wasn't helping.

His voice softened now, noticing the tone in your voice, but continuing to make his point. "And that doesn't even include the things we say off stream, Y/N."

There was silence ringing through the call once again. It was a moment for both of you to process everything that had been said so far. Try to decipher what it could possibly mean for the both of you.

"What does that mean, Alex?" Your voice no longer held that harsh tone to it, instead there was exhaustion. Having so many thoughts was draining.

"It could mean anything we want it to mean. I'm sorry for pushing all of this on you now, but twitter has just.. let's just say it's got me thinking."

His words made a small laugh escape your lips, and at the sound of your laugh, a small laugh left his lips as well.

"No, it's fine. I've been thinking about it too, and this conversation really helped clear up my confusion."

"What were you confused about?"

"My feelings. Y'know, towards you and stuff." The last part came out more as a mumble as you finally gave your nails a rest, letting your hand fall down onto your lap.

A small hum came from the phone's speaker, as if he was humming in agreement. "Then this cleared up my confusions as well."

Looking at the time, you realized that the two of you had been talking for a while now, and you were definitely feeling exhausted. He probably was too.

"Alex."

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I feel a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was.. nice, talking about this with you."

"I should thank you as well, you really.. opened my eyes."

This earned him a small laugh from you, before you sleepily rubbed at your eyes that were now stinging a bit.

"Lets sleep on it, yeah? There doesn't need to be any.. labels, or anything of the sort. We can figure it out along the way." You suggested.

He didn't say anything for a bit before he let out a small sigh. "Yeah, sounds good. But now that I've sort of acknowledged these feelings I was repressing, I'd eventually like to act on them."

"Of course. I do, too. But I'm just saying.. we don't have to do anything about it now. Lets just get some rest, hm? You sound pretty tired."

You lay on your bed, getting comfy with your blankets, half your face smudged into the pillow, phone resting on the pillow, speaker loud enough for you to hear his response.

"I am pretty tired. Are you going to sleep, too?"

"I am."

"Then.. lets fall asleep on call."

This wasn't necessarily strange, or uncommon. It was just that neither of you had really ever said it out loud, it just happened when you two had talked too late into the night and one of you eventually fell asleep. You felt a warmth spread across your chest, nodding before realizing he couldn't see you.

"We could do that."

There was shuffling at the other end of the line, presumably Quackity getting into bed.

After that, you two continued conversation, small talk regarding whether he had eaten today and what he had done prior to the jackbox stream, until eventually the two of you fell asleep.

There didn't have to be any labels yet, or any announcement to the viewers. What mattered was that you and Alex were comfortable, and that you figured out what both of you wanted, and whether or not it was being together.

You were in it for the long haul, as a friend or as a lover, you didn't know, nor did it matter. All you knew was that as long as Alex Quackity was present, everything would be alright. No matter any labels or Twitter trends.

In fact, perhaps the Twitter trends weren't too bad. It had made you realize your feelings for your cute friend that was now sleeping, on call with you, who knows how many miles away. It was a heartwarming thought.

When it comes to Alex Quackity, it is impossible to not give in at some point. Give in to the possibility of love and friendship. At your own paces.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heart by Heart | Chapter IV | Raul Mendes

                                                 *secret agent AU*

Y/N and Raul have been friends ever since they could remember. And falling in love with your best friend can be pretty tricky and messy 99% of the times, add that to the fact they're constantly risking their lives side by side on the field since they're both secret agents, and the best team that's ever existed. Perfect recipe for disaster.

Hi, this is the fourth chapter, you can find the first one here. This one's a bit shorter but I still hope you like it anyway. Please read the warnings on this one, if you don't feel comfortable with the contents listed on the "warnings" section, please read something else, there are a lot of other works on my masterlist and on the "fic rec" hashtag on my blog. Please give me some feedback and I hope you guys like. Happy Reading! 

                                              previous chapter | masterpost | next chapter 

*Word Count: 2.9K+.

*Warnings: cursing, jealousy, mentions of weapons (barely any), slight angst (if you squint). 

Please don’t read it if any of this subjects make you uncomfortable, feel free to check my masterlist for other writings. 

*Posted: July 22nd, 2021.

                                                  -*-

Raul was fucked. 

He learned that ages ago, but every passing day, it just seemed to get more and more fucked. 

Y/N was the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, he knew that the day he met her all those years ago, while she was still a kid like him. And as the time went on, she proved him wrong every single day, every time he looked at her, in his eyes, Y/N surpassed her own beauty and taking her own title as the pretties one. Raul knew he was a goner the first time he made her laugh, truly laugh, throwing her head back as she almost lost her breath, he knew he would have to do it all over again for the rest of his life just to hear the most beautiful melody ever created. 

And maybe he was a fool, and obvious one for not even holding back whenever she was hurt or needed him. He would give Y/N anything in the world and he could be pretty reckless about it. Sure, Raul was capable of keeping it to himself all these years, even from his spy family and her, but Peter was slowly catching onto it and he knew it. There was a reason why Peter wasn’t a field agent and his not so subtle approaches only proved that right. But he honestly didn’t care, as long as he got to have her as his best friend and best girl, he didn’t give a fuck about what the rest of the world thought. He only cared about Y/N. 

So watching her progress on the ring (hell, having his ass kicked by her was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him), watching Y/N taking part of such an important role as to plan the mission that would take down one of the biggest criminals on the world left him so proud. He couldn’t even describe it. Watching her sleep peacefully among his bedding, the glimmer of pure and utter happiness whenever she watched one of the marvel movies or ate her favorite cake made butterflies go wild in his stomach. 

And as Aaliyah would say, he was probably a simp for her. As sappy as that sounded, it was probably true. 

“Still with me, champ?” Y/N’s voice ringed on his coms.

Raul had to hold back a smile as Jack smirked at him on their watching point across the street “Always, doll, see anything?”

“Not really” she muttered annoyedly “think the package is late” 

“Oh, sorry the bad guy didn’t show up on the perfect time according to your planner”

“Fuck you, darling, before I forget”

Raul huffed a chuckle as he changed channels on the surveillance system she hacked the night prior. 

He was with Jack sitting on his apartment watching Y/N from the perfect window. The initial plan was pretty simple, Y/N would be dressed in casual common clothes, going through her computer on Genoff’s favorite coffee shop, to possibly catch him after coming back, so he could be used to some of their faces on his absence justifying new people around. Her undercover role was as a graphic designer that pretty much had a home office, which would justify her always being around that area. Tommy was the local barista trainee, summer job to pay for his scholarship, and this way he could hear some stuff and also be ready to jump and protect whoever was undercover there that day.

Celine was working on the front desk on Geonoff’s cover up business building, she was replacing the other girl that just left due to maternity leave, so it wouldn’t look suspicious at all. James got the work as an executive driver on a company that often was hired to transport Geonoff himself and his people, and Raul would also be on home office as a free lancer photographer, he’d be in an untitled relationship with Y/N which would be a good cover for them always being out and about together.

They would all be living in the same neighborhood, Peter and Celine would be living in the same apartment complex, which was just next doors to the one Jack, Y/N and Raul were placed. This way it would still be safe and pretty low profile enough to not draw curious eyes. And since the mission didn’t exactly have a precise deadline, they didn’t have a precise date to actually leave, so their flat was poorly furnished and decorated, filled with the ultimate basic things they could need in a month period. And of course, heavily armed in every corner and drawer anyone could think about.

“He just left his car two blocks away, think he might be just a bit behind your schedule, Y/N” Jack called from his place behind the screens she had set up the night before “Tommy, grab the cash register as soon as you can”

“Yes sir” Tom mumbled under his breath.

Raul inched a bit closer to the window on a spot no one could see him from bellow, watching as Geonoff himself entered the shop with two other man right behind him. Probably security team. He had to hold back his breath once he noticed the way the man had his eyes fixated right on Y/N’s table, before quietly muttering something to the other with him.

“Hm, excuse me miss?” a deep slightly hoarse voice caught her attention from the fake project displayed on her computer screen, Y/N looked up to find Geonoff right next to her booth.

“Oh hi”

“Why is he talking to her? He wasn’t supposed to just approach her!” Raul practically growled to Jack as the other just shrugged in response “fuck” 

“Dude, calm down, Tom is literally just across the bar and she’s a fucking spy, chill, she knows how to handle this” Jack said shoving Raul’s shoulder playfully, to which he just rolled his eyes huffing in annoyance.

“I know, I know that” 

Jack arched his eyebrow at him, a knowing smirk playing on his lips “Is this your way of admitting you love her?” 

“Shut up and pay attention to their conversation, you idiot” Raul said pushing his friend off of his sit. 

“I'm sorry, I just had to ask, I haven’t such a pretty girl like you around in a while, are you new in town, darling?” Geonoff asked leaning his hip against the sit across from Y/N.

“Oh no, not new in town” she responded with a giggle, trying to ease the nerves and slight nausea from talking to him and his half attempt of flirting “I moved to this neighborhood last month though, used to leave on the other side of the town” 

“Oh, was it for work? How are you liking this place so far?”

“It’s nice, I thought it was going to be quieter but it doesn’t really bother me” she said with a soft smile on her features “I moved here because I work from home, so I needed to get out of my last place cause my roommate was not exactly quiet, and my boyfriend said there was an available apartment on his floor, so it just seemed like a great opportunity” 

Raul’s heart raced a bit more on his chest when she referred to him as ‘boyfriend’, which was completely stupid. Y/N was his best friend and this was only for a cover. But sometimes his feelings got the best of him.

“Boyfriend? Is he here?”

“Oh no, I think he’s at work now, he’s a photographer”

“It makes sense, he has the prettiest muse at home” he added with a wink, which made Y/N’s stomach twirl in her tummy, this man is absolutely gross and she just wants to find a way out of this conversation “is he joining you today or should I keep you company?” 

“Tell him I’m on my way, sweetheart, don’t want this man any closer to you” Raul said through coms, Jack already grabbing his backpack with the material they had separated to be Raul’s cover as he threw a denim jacket and a pair of glasses.

Y/N gave Geonoff a gentle smile as she shrugged before adding “he told me he’d be coming here, something about the cupcakes being the best he’s ever had”

“Oh shut up, this is the worst excuse to get me to buy you cupcake ever” Raul muttered through coms as he jogged across the street and Y/N had to cough to hid a little giggle that threatened to escape at her best friend’s comment.

“Yeah, they’re really good, I think you’d like the chocolate one” 

“Okay, thank you for the tip” she said, quickly noticing the mop of curls clumsy coming into the shop, a big grin blossoming on her lips as she waved at the heaving figure of her best friend “oh, there he is!”

Raul’s eyes found hers and he could only smile, forgetting only momentarily that one of the most wanted man in the country was just beside her, he shook his head to gain a bit more focus as he shortened the distance between them with every step “hi baby” 

Y/N got up from her sit and was quick to throw her arms around his neck, as he did the same with her waist, planting a kiss to the crown of her head “Hi, honey this is… Oh my, just realized I never caught your name, I’m sorry, that was so rude”

“Geonoff, darling” he said with a smug smile on his lips, probably waiting some sort of reaction and proud of it.

And to Raul’s amusement, Y/N didn’t move a single muscle, didn’t give a single reaction, only offering a polite smile “Oh, nice name, I’m Y/N and this is my boyfriend, Raul”

“Beautiful name, suits such a gorgeous girl like you” he said, eyes on Raul waiting for some sort of response.

“Oh yeah, she doesn’t like it but I’ve always found it beautiful” he said softly.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys alone now, nice meeting the two of you” Geonoff said as his guards approached him with a paper bag “and Y/N, let me know if you need anything, I’m always around”

“Thank you” she said before pulling Raul to sit by her side on the booth as Geonoff walked out of the little shop “how was your day, honey?”

“Good, angel, got a couple of photos I think you’d like to see whenever we get home” he said throwing his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“You two are gross to watch” Jack grumbled through the coms making them both laugh.

Y/N turned her head to face him “you wanna go home to show me or you want to grab a cup of coffee first?”

“I think I want a bit of coffee, but we can order it to go, yeah?”

“Sure, whatever you want” Y/N said before sliding off the booth and pulling him with her, before stuffing her computer on her little backpack, which Raul promptly took from her.

“Come on, baby, can’t wait to lay down a bit” he ushered her to the register, where Tom waited patiently for them “hello there, I’d like an espresso please” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked as he clicked on the little screen.

“Do you want anything, baby?”

“A red velvet cupcake to go, please”

Tom nodded looking a little nervous before speaking up “the other man with the security guards left this note and cupcake for you, ma’am” he then grabbed the little pastry and a fancy business card alongside it.

“Oh, I- are you sure it was for me?” she asked in disbelief as Raul tightened his arm around her.

Tom only nodded in response “positive, do you still want the red velvet one?”

“I- yes, please” Y/N let out before almost chocking on air, gently grabbing the card that contained the business information from his company (that she already had) and a little handwritten phrase next to a phone number, the note read ‘if you’re ever looking for a real man, let me know’. 

“Someone’s got a crush on you” Raul teased trying to mask the anger bubbling up on his throat, but he knew she saw right through his facade. After all, Y/N knew him better than anyone else.

“Well, I feel bad for him, because I’m already taken, yeah?” she giggled at herself, lightly poking his chest to try and loosen his nerves a bit.

“Yeah, since I have you, know that I’m never letting you go” Raul pressed a kiss to her head huffing a small chuckle.

“Here it is, sir” Tom cut Raul out before handing him the paper bag, and he placed the money on Tom’s hand.

Raul offered a smile as he lead Y/N back to their place “Thank you, take care, kid” 

As they were crossing the street, Y/N dropped the cupcake from Geonoff on the sidewalk, making it look like an accident as she cried out an ‘oh no, I can’t believe I dropped it!’ before tossing it on the bin. On the elevator to their apartment, Raul still seemed tense and too quiet for his normal self, but Y/N decided to drop it, maybe give him some time to deal with today.

Just as they opened the door, Jack was quick to pull them inside, grabbing the card from Y/N’s hand and tossing it into a special bag and running downstairs, probably to deliver it to a team so they could take it to the lab to run some tests. Celine was stretched on the couch, a knowing look in her eyes as she signaled for them to join her. Raul went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water in complete silence as Y/N sank down on the soft cushions with Celine.

“What’s wrong with him?” she muttered quietly, since there were no walls separating the rooms on this flat, only the bedroom and bathroom and Raul was standing pretty close.

Y/N sighed with a shrug “No clue, maybe just didn’t expect the interaction to go like that, I don’t know”

“By the way, you did great, he even got interested in you” 

“Ew, no need to remind me, seriously that man is just gross, there’s something about him that’s just creepy, and I’m not even bringing up his criminal record” Y/N added grabbing a bottle water that Raul tossed at her after she nodded at him.

Celine nodded in understanding “Don't blame you, I think I would’ve punched him five seconds into talking”

“You wouldn’t last a single second with him talking” Jack said as he closed the door behind him.

Y/N and Celine laughed as Raul joined them on the couch, sitting on the armrest right behind Y/N as she leaned her weight on him. He threw an arm around her. 

“I think we should order a pizza and have some beer, yeah? This was a successful day, Tom’s gonna be here any minute now and Raul didn’t die out of jealousy in 24h, only reasons to celebrate!”

“Don’t start celebrating now, Jack, he might combust at any second now” Celine said with a laugh and Y/N giggled shaking her head, looking up at him only to see his serious expression and a light pink tinting his cheeks.

“So, pizza and beer it is?” Jack asked pulling his phone.

“I think it’s a great idea” Tom said as he climbed through the back window.

“Okay, Jack, order the pizzas and grab us the beer” Y/N decided and Jack stared at her in shock.

“Why me?!”

“So you can do something useful for once instead of gossiping” Raul said playfully and Y/N smiled at that as Jack feigned hurt with a dramatic gasp. 

“Well, there’s that and the fact that this genius idea belongs to you, doesn’t it?” Y/N asked 

Jack stared at her and nodded “Well yeah but-“

“Then make it happen, darling” Y/N only threw a wink at him and he shook his head, but grabbing his phone to start ordering. 

“Hey Tom, can I see the piece you brought back?” Celine asked without moving from her place on the couch. 

Y/N took the opportunity to properly face Raul since the others were seemingly busy, so she cupped his face gently bringing his attention down at her “are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am, doll” he said turning his face to place a kiss at the palm of her hand before looking back at her. 

“Are you sure? You didn’t seem fine five minutes ago”

“I just didn’t think he’d take such an interest on you so soon, I mean, you’re insanely gorgeous so it was obvious he was going to notice you, I guess I was just unconsciously hoping he wouldn’t” Raul sighed leaning his head against her hand and she let it slide on his face until she was able to curl her fingers on his hair “it’s stupid, I’m sorry, I was just being stupid yeah? Let’s focus on something else and relax”

“Are you sure?” she asked tugging on his hair a bit as he closed his eyes, nodding his head softly and she sighed “okay”

                                                  -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[iridescentides]

i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut

gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about

the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all

(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)

im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit

that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her

we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot

on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode

its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw

i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.

speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy

im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?

even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed

(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)

granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far

ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?

i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute

i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:

i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together

overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.

after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel

[starkatana]

#BadassJasonPartyIsOver

Jason Todd x Reader

Summary:You and Jason just start dating and the rest of the family finds out.

Cute/fun/fluffy

Note:

Jason has not died and has not become Red Hood yet in this AU

Selina is your godmother. You are the child of Selina’s childhood friend. There is no family relationship between you and Jason even though you live in Wayne Manor. She calls you KitKat a nickname for your hero name: Black Cat.

Inspired by:

@capricornprince118‘s post

@telling-lies-co‘s post

Cass’s Text Section by @fanfic-suspicious-bluejay post

“So, do we tell your family?” you ask. “They’re a bunch of detectives, they can figure it out themselves. What’s going to change between us anyway?” You shrug, “I don’t know.”

The beginning of your relationship felt like the start of any other day. Nothing changed with how you two interacted with each other. You two still went to school with each other every day, you two didn’t treat each other any differently. The public displays of affection; hand-holding, arms around each other, and others didn’t happen until later.

You, Jason, and Roy still hung out as usual. Jason made a post of you three at the beach. Jason asked a stranger to take the picture. The sun was setting in the background, Jason was between you two, Roy had his arm around Jay with a peace sign at the camera, Jason had his arm around you and Roy with a big stupid grin, and you had both arms around Jason trying not to ruin your waffle cone. The picture was cute. Roy went off to grab some food while you sat on the railing of the pier eating your ice cream as Jason stood next to you making a post with the picture:

“Out with my best friend and girl. She really wanted to go to the boardwalk to see the sunset, I thought she was being cliché, but I can never say no to her.” He typed a heart at the end of the caption. Deleted it. Tried a kissy face. Deleted it. Re-read it again and just posted it as a caption.

“Jason.”

“Yeah?” he puts his phone away in his back pocket. Then placing his hand on your thigh, he looks up at you.

“Thanks for this.”

“No problem.” He gives you a soft smile. You smile in return, getting lost in his blue eyes. There was a new sparkle in his eyes. Looking at him, being with him, it made you happy.

You push your hair out of your eyes and your body leans into Jason’s. He rests his head against the front of your shoulder. You place your hand at the nape of his neck, gently running your fingers through his hair. He turns his head and takes a peek at you. You smile at him and stick your tongue out at him.

He lets out a light chuckle, lifting his head, you place a hand on his cheek and he leans into it, while you lean to the opposite side. Slowly your bodies lean into each other, giving in to your bodies’ the magnetism. Sharing your first kiss. Light and sweet, the first of many, forever.

Meanwhile, in Wayne Manor:

“GRAYSON!” Damian knocks open Dick’s door.

Dick turns around form his computer, “Damian?”

“Explain the meaning of this!” he holds out his phone on Jason’s post. “Are Y/n and Jason in a relationship?”

“I don’t think so. This seems like a pretty average post for them.”

Damian takes his phone and stares at it intently.

“Why?”

“Y/n can do so much better than Todd! I’m her voice of reason so she remembers.”

Dick laugh and ruffled Damian’s hair.

“I’m sure we’d know if they were dating or not, it can’t be that hard to figure out.”

Meanwhile, Selina saw the post and liked it.

“Bruce.”

“Hm?”

“Looks like our Little Wing and KitKat got together.”

“I thought they were together.”

“They’re official, darling.”

“Weren’t they before?”

“Oh, Bruce.” She chuckled, “you’re so lucky you’re cute.”

He winks at her, “And that’s why you like me.”

In the Batcave:

“Look at this.” Duke brought his phone over to Babs.

“Good they finally got together. About time,” she chuckled, “I had an idea when we went to the drive-in the other day, but I’m glad my suspicions are confirmed.”

“I give it about a week before everyone else figures out.”

“A week? I give it two, they are pros at keeping secrets.”

Duke laughed, “It’s a bet.”

After your first kiss, every action you two shared had so much more purpose and meaning behind it. It turned into Jason putting his arm around your waist. Where people began to give you curious looks. Then you two would hold hands when you walked together or even in each other’s company. That’s when people began to question if you two were official or not. One day, after school, before you left for dance practice he kissed you on the cheek in front of Tim and immediately went to the family group chat.

On your train ride to the studio, your phone was blowing up.

-Text conversation below-

Timbo: EXCUSE ME! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF JASON AND Y/N ARE DATING?! DickeryDock: I thought they were acting closer than usual. Baby: Todd with Y/n?! Timbo: Y/n just left for dance and Jason kissed her cheek! Jaybird: Did you guys just figure it out? CassAFass: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! Baby: This isn’t a joke?! The Best Bro: I had suspicions. Babs and I had a bet going on. Baby: HOW LONG?! WE’RE A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES AND IT TOOK US HOW LONG? Stephie: Wait, they weren’t dating this entire time? You: I’m proud of all of you. JayBird: 2-3 weeks? You guys suck.

It was hard to stifle your laughter on the train from the exchange in the family chat. Then you got a tag on Instagram from Tim. It was a blurry picture of what you think is Jason getting tackled by Damian with the caption: “EXCUSE ME! @notjtodd and @yourusername HAVE BEEN DATING FOR WEEKS AND HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE! Y/N ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU BEING FORCED TO DATE HIM?”

You almost miss your stop from how entranced you are with your phone. You like Tim’s post when you are tagged in another post by Babs. Where you and Jason are asleep together in the backseat of the car. It was from when you, Jason, Babs, and Dick were coming back from the drive-in movie together. Your head was on Jason’s shoulder and you two were holding hands. With the caption: “Went on a double date and never even realized they had made their relationship official. We all knew it was going to happen. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Bab’s hashtag sent the Batfam into a flurry of posts.

Roy was first where it was just multiple pictures of you and Jason snuggling in different areas, the couch in the theatre in Wayne Manor, the back of the jeep when up at lookout point, the floor at a dance competition, and another in the hotel they just went on. Not only did all of the pictures feature you two snuggling but Roy was at the forefront of the picture holding up a peace sign with an exasperated look, your third wheel forever. His caption: “Hello, my name is Jason ‘I don’t cuddle’ and ‘We’re just friends’ Todd, I’d like to call bullshit. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Dick’s picture was of you and Jason hugging at your first dance competition in Gotham. “Let’s never forget the time Jason made me turn the car around in the middle of a busy intersection, made me speed across town, and drive to a flower shop so he could buy @yourusername a bouquet of her favorite flowers so he can give them to her after her dance competition. #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

Damian’s picture was of you “lecturing” Jason in the Wayne dance studio while practicing your dance routine together. “We all knew they were going to get together when Jason learned that dance routine just to impress @yourusername #BadassJasonPartyIsOver (I still think Y/n can do better. You better not fuck this up, Todd.)”

Cass had a slide show for her post. The pictures were of the family’s most recent winter vacation to Bora Bora. The first picture was of Jason sitting across the table from you assume Cass (who took the picture) with his face turned away. The second picture was you walking away with Babs and you were flipping off the camera with a smile. While the last picture was the chicken SpongeBob meme: “Jason: I just like her so much you know. Me – politely listening because I have heard this 100+ times-: I know just tell her that! @yourusername walks up, “Hey, guys.” Jason: “What the hell are you doing here, leave us alone!” Me: *smacks palm against forehead and immediately whips out my phone to take these pictures* Y/n: flips Jason off and with a smirk and walks off. Jason smirks back and waves her off. Me: “What the fuck was that?” Jason: “What? That’s how we show affection.” I had a red mark on my forehead for hours! #BadassJasonPartyIsOver”

The last post you saw was Jason’s. It was just a picture of you smiling at the camera with a hand outstretched towards Jason behind the camera. The caption was: “Shut up and let me be cute with my girlfriend.”

The post was small but it was enough. Now your family and everyone in Gotham knew, you and Jason are together.

[calypsoff]

Twenty Eight.

I was supposed to actually go to California first, but I ended up having to do a little detour, I had to drop off some of my clothing line for Lil Wayne, I met Lil Wayne. I went on my own to his home which was dope as fuck, he was a cool dude, but he is constantly high and then Pharrell which he was in New York and I flew there so Robyn said to just meet her there, she wasn’t happy, but I am meeting her at the venue. The past few days have been crazy for me, for the clothing line. So much exposure for us, we are a little sold out on a lot of shit, so I told the boys to stay in Texas and get shit sorted with refreshing stock, I mean I am doing the best part by getting to meet these people. And I did flex that on my Instagram page, of course I would. A nigga from jail is now hanging with the top dogs, this is mind blowing. Lil Wayne is cool as fuck; his entourage is funny as fuck and they were the most welcoming for me. It’s been a headache anyways; I have two suitcases because I am going to California to live at Robyn’ home so I needed all my shit, so I am stuck living out of a suitcase for a while. Staring at myself in the mirror touching my stubble on my face, my phone pressed to my ear as it rang out “hello” Robyn picked up “are you at the venue now? Shall I come?” I have been waiting for Robyn to arrive “I am, I am going to do some rehearsal so if you come, I may not be around, but Jen has your pass so come” I need a shave “cool, you got a barber with you?” you never know “you mean Yusuf? He is here” pulling a face “I need a barber; my hair is grown out. You going to sort out your man with one?” you never know she may help me “my man? Who is that again? The nigga that doesn’t listen to me anymore” she is still on that “but I did say I would come and visit you for like an hour, I had to go to come here? Clients Robyn” she wanted me to come and see her when I was in Cali for Wayne, but I had to fly out “clients or your girlfriend? Mhmm, just come here” taking in a deep breath “see you soon petal?” she hates when I call her petal “shut up, bye” she disconnected the call, I mean I have a business to run now.

I can hear Robyn rehearsing outside from the venue, but I am currently waiting with my suitcases for Jen to come, security did ask and told me I had to wait so it’s whatever. She is taking her time with it though, I am going to be cute with Robyn because I know she is a little annoyed with me, maybe it’s her missing me so I am going to accept her talking stupid with me and just continue to love her and show her that she means so much to me, I adore her so much and she knows that “welcome to the tour Christopehr!” Jen half shouted “let him in” she said behind the barrier, I grinned at her. She always has such good energy “you moving in?” she pointed at my suitcases “uh yeah, Robyn’ home. I think this may be her way to get me to move there” pulling along both cases “welcome, welcome” I stopped to hug her, I am not rude “this is your pass, do not lose it throughout the tour. I am sure you will re-join us again later in the dates. I hope you do for the overseas part” nodding my head taking the pass from her, placing it over my head “Robyn has got you a barber, Yusuf is offended but she has a guy for you” I cooed out “really?” I am shocked “yeah, she said he asked so I will take you to him. Come along, I will suggest getting these on her bus, we will be on the bus after this date to travel to Philli, she has a five day window after that so you both can spend time together” I didn’t know that “really? So she doesn’t get overworked?” that is shocking “it’s a little different, this is a major tour, she gets plenty of rest” I am glad to hear she does.

Dapping the barber as his friend took a picture of us “good looking out” I said to him “like I have been to many barbers but you, dang. You got me out here looking fresh as hell” I am impressed “thinking of you bro, you got to look fresh when you date Rihanna. Dang, when I got the message. I said Rihanna wants a haircut from me? I was shook then it said her boyfriend, so yeah” I chuckled “it’s only her side nigga you cutting for, so when I make it big you about to be my personal one” he nodded his head “appreciate it brother” like this nigga is good “how much is that?” grabbing my money from my pocket, I have money in my life finally “on your girl, she paid already” letting out an oh, she didn’t need to pay I could have paid that “perks of being with a millionaire” taking in a deep breath “yeah” I mumbled, it’s not even like that “shame she isn’t here, I would love to meet her” my phone started ringing “maybe one day” looking down at the I.D, it’s my mother “ma” answering the call “I miss you son, oh baby. Desean showed me who uncle is seeing, I am so proud of you. I just had to check on you and tell you how proud I am of you” I cooed out “doing it for you ma, you know that. I am currently doing something, but I will call you later, promise. Love you” I don’t want to speak in front of these nosey niggas “ok baby, I love you too” disconnecting the call “you want me to walk you out? Actually I think I should” I am dumb, I shouldn’t be asking that “please do, I don’t know where I am going” nodding my head.

I wonder if Robyn is done, the music has stopped playing so I am guessing but where the hell could she be. It’s funny because I am speaking about Robyn and here she is, walking with her entourage. Such a tiny woman in a gang full of men, she is running the show and they are all following her. She looks deep in thought, but me I am so glad to have seen her now. I mean I didn’t know where to go, I grinned watching her walk closer and closer, this guy is speaking to her as she made her way. Looks like it’s a lot of taking that is happening “Twin” I said, Robyn looked up and her face softened, from the angry face to the happiness “poppa is here, I will and thanks” Robyn moved away from her team, she did a little run to me “I missed you so much twin” hugging her, wrapping both arms around Robyn and pressing her close to me “I missed you so much” I admitted truthfully “how you think I feel” moving my head back and pressed kisses to her cheek, Robyn giggled as I did “you look well, I am happy to see you smiling” pressing a long kiss to her cheek “love you” moving back from her “I am smiling now” holding onto Robyn’ hand “what was that all about, seems like a deep conversation?” leaning back onto the wall “I haven’t rehearsed Stay so he was mentioning it and stuff but yeah. I like your hair, huh. Who did that for you” she winked “Yusuf” I joked “aye, I said it to him and goes I know how to do that nigga’ hair, but my poppa looking all handsome. I am glad you’re here, finally. I was becoming jealous of seeing you with other people on Instagram, it’s hard because I wanted you with me. And I get jealous” she is telling me like I don’t know that “I get that, you so beautiful twin” Robyn pulled a face “I am sweating, shut up. Come, let’s go and sit on the bus. It’s quiet on there” Robyn yanked my hand to walk.

She is right, the bus is quiet. There is many people in that venue so I am glad we have peace, placing my jacket on the table before sitting down on the seating area “so you sleep in the bunks?” I pointed “no, my room. My actual room is in the back, I have a bed. The fuck you think I am sleeping on a bunk? But we don’t really sleep, we party” Robyn sat next to me “god, I missed you” placing my arm on the back of the seating around just behind Robyn “aye!” I spat jumping forward “what you doing!?” Robyn didn’t even move her hand from my crotch at all, she is deadass “Robyn, you have your hand on my dick! Like you have my dick in your hand, why!?” I spat, she is being deadass “I heard about this fetish about you wearing sweatpants, and I see it. See how easy I grabbed your dick, you’re banned from wearing them!” my eyes widened “deadass!? Robyn, I can’t help it” she still hasn’t moved her hand “see, I haven’t see you in a while. I have seen thirsty pictures and comments about you, I have seen these videos and pictures of you in VA, you have fanpages now too, CJ? The fuck is CJ, it’s your dick! Right, so from now on you ain’t wearing these” I have to laugh “baby, please. Let’s talk like adults. I can’t help that my dick is big, please stop gripping my dick, please” she is waking my dick “tell me it’s mine” using my free hand to rub my face and laugh “ahhh!” she deadass squeezed my dick “ok, Robyn. It’s yours and you know this! I can’t help it” she let my dick go, I breathed out.

Staring at Robyn, well more like side eyeing her. I can’t believe I am allowing her to do this but I rather let her do it then listen to her drive me crazy about it, she will start saying that I am enjoying Staring at Robyn just doing the most and that I don’t love her “done?” I asked, Robyn smirked moving her hand away from my dick “yes, I think I got the perfect picture look at my hand on your bulge” she turned her phone to me “it looks nice, now jerk me off” Robyn waved me off as she went to work, she is now having to think of a caption, she had to do the most because my dick print has caused some drama, I just got a big dick. I cannot help it, it’s not my fault “what did you type out crazy?” I feel my dick is growing, I feel like I am getting hard because she continues to touch my fucking dick “special package” Robyn smirked “hashtag daddy home” shaking my head “I need to be jerked off now” I pointed at my dick “my hand hurts” Robyn placed her leg over my lap, she purposely rubbed her leg over my dick “you need to stop that” she is so cheeky “mhmm I am sick of being Rihanna’s boyfriend, everyone always pointing out like oh you are Rihanna’s boyfriend” rolling my eyes “you could always upgrade?” she mumbled “huh, to what?” raising an eyebrow “husband” I snorted laughing “wow Robyn, dang. I ain’t settling, no ma’am my knee will not be on the ground proposing” Robyn hit my chest scoffing “you are actually annoying, you say all this shit just to be sucking my toes. Fuck you” she mushed my face “this is why I want to be single, can’t let a nigga suck anything in peace. Annoying” she out here talking about husband “besides, I don’t want you as a husband” she is a lie “I need a wife that will cook and clean” I retorted “you’re annoying, keep annoying me, you know I will have you apologising” she is getting annoyed, let me leave her alone before she really gets mad.

Watching Robyn sit down but she sat across from me which honestly made me smile “for you annoying me I changed my caption to Rihanna’s boyfriend, hope you’re happy” locking my phone sighing out “see I know you’re lying baby, I just looked and commented on it. I put big dick breezy” Robyn kissed her teeth “the thing is, I will have you on your knee. I just know it” I sniggered at the fact Robyn is stuck on that “anyways, how are you feeling about your first date?” let me change the conversation “annoyed” shaking my head “oh twin, why you got to be like this. You know I am joking. You and I both know this right?” she does know but she is playing stupid “I do but yeah, I don’t know. I am just going to take it as it is, like I am so excited, but I have kept that thought to the back of my mind about performing Stay, the set list is going to set me off. Because it’s Stay and then Diamonds, I am ging to be crying. I know I will be because my mind is just on that, but I will make it” nodding my head “I will be there for you in the crowd, I am pretty nervous for you, I can only imagine how you must feel. It’s going to hit hard, first time performing it after that happened” she is going to cry, but I don’t blame her for it.

I did want to see Robyn before she went on stage, but she was gone, as soon as we got off the bus the entourage took her, and they did what they needed to do to get her on stage. Mel bought me to the mixing booth in the back, so I am just sat here waiting, I to be honest want to be front row. I really do but I think I will do it myself and go there myself, I am excited for this concert. I mean I am at a Rihanna concert dating her this time, ain’t no daydreaming and smirking to myself. Robyn just thinks and assumes a lot, she knows damn well that I would wife her up, me and her are forever now so that is it. The lights suddenly switched off and the crowd just went crazy for nothing, I mean not going to lie I am excited myself. It’s so damn dark, I wonder where she is going to be actually. She never really said or told me the setup, letting out an oh it’s Mother Mary. I should have known it would have been this song, looking at the screen to see Robyn. She looks so pretty, a little on the skinny side. I didn’t notice that actually until now, tilting my head to the side. Robyn has gone skinnier, maybe it’s the rehearsing that does it to her.

I found a while sheet and it shows what song is what, so the Stay and Diamonds is last, that is good to be honest. I hope she can keep it together, because like prior to this it’s all upbeat songs. Folding the paper up “we found love in a hopeless place” I bopped my head, I need to leave backstage. I think I am going to go to the front because being so far back sucks. I can’t see shit; I mean I can but I can’t. I am about to get myself lost, seeing that Robyn is walking around in the crowd. Let het just get her ass back on stage before I go out there, watching Robyn being touched and harassed by the fans, they really touching her too. Stuffing my hands in my pockets as I stepped out further, she is going back on the stage now so I can come out. Rich dapped me as I stood next to him, I have a feeling I am about to know all these songs off by heart because of being here. Smiling lightly, I am super proud of her, she really out there killing it too. It’s made me see how hard she does work, and then I am just a pain in the ass for her. I mean I don’t intentionally do it to her, shit comes to me. I don’t ask for it to happen, but it happens.

I am pretty nervous for her for this part, like I just think she maybe needed to rehearse but now she has to do it. I am literally stood front and centre to where she is going to stand, the crowd was in uproar assuming that she had finished but she came out and I just knew, I instantly knew with the look on her face she is already emotional. I can’t say how it feels to lose a baby inside of you, or the moment it happens. I can’t say how that is but with the pain she goes through I know it’s something awful, we both lost something that night. Robyn stood in front of the mic, the tune to Stay came on and she was gone, my heart fell for her and I couldn’t do anything to help her but watch her. The crowd screamed louder and louder, Robyn is just breaking, and the crowd chanted her name. I just want to help her, I feel like the Stay intro has been prolonged longer because of this, she is just crying. She turned away from the crowd, I feel so damn helpless what can I do and I am just thinking so hard on what to do, Robyn turned back around and stepped to the mix “all along it was a fever” oh she is pushing through, I swear I am rooting for her “He said, If you dare, come a little closer” dragging my eyes to Robyn and I feel pretty choked up, putting my head down and away from the fact Robyn has hands over her stomach. Flicking the tear that left pretty quickly, this is hard, harder then I assumed it would be.

[chickennoodlesoupfortae]

BTS imagine

A/N- I promise I’ll do a fluff piece soon but for now enjoy this angst with a fluffy ending. 

Summary- their reaction to you walking out during a fight, more of a slice of life 

Word count- 3.1k

Warnings- mild cursing otherwise none

Jin

“I don’t want to clean right now, I’m so tired, please. can’t you just do something?” you whined in protest to Jin’s request to help him clean the house

“Ugh, why are you this way?” he groaned in response

“What way, I just want to rest.” you snapped back.

“What do you even have to rest from?” he mumbled

“Huh, say it louder.” you instigated

“You never do anything,” he exclaimed

“So, I just go to work and sit around doing nothing?” he continued looking for the broom

“I don’t just sing and dance around like you.” he looked up triggered by your statement

“My dancing around pays for this house.” your eyes widened in anger

“Bullshit! I pay for this house with you.” you were now screaming across the living room

“Sure, I’m the bad guy who you live off of!” he screamed back.

“That’s a lie.” you threw back at him

“Cause you love to use my card when you go shopping!” he was now pulling all the stops

“We have a shared bank account that’s our card. Are you stupid?” you scoffed

“One of us is putting in more than the other and taking out less.” he regretted saying it when he saw your face turn from angry too over it

“Then one of us is gonna leave the other,” you said nonchalant showing you were over all of this.

He ran across the living room to stand in front of the door

“Stop baby, you can’t just leave.” he looked down at you blocking the exit

“Get out of my way seokjin.” you pushed him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” he grabbed both your hands pressing them against his chest.

“Ugh let go. You're just saying that so I won’t go.” he looked at you with puppy eyes “Stop that, you can’t be fighting me one minute and fine the next.”

“You were fighting me too.” you sighed at his response pulling your hands out of his

“No. You were the one who took it to another level cause I suggested you should clean. You’re such a dick” you started pushing him out of the way.

“You’re right, it was a dick move” he sighed getting out of the way

You stopped in your tracks at his sudden change in attitude

He let out a soft smile

“I hate you, you know.” you turned around and sat down on the couch

“This is dumb, I’ll just find us a maid,” he said sitting down next to you

“That’s the type of thinking we need in this house” you rested your head on his shoulder

Yoongi

“You need to stop overworking yourself!” you shouted

“I can’t (y/n) you know that I know that. We’ve known this” he turned his back to you

“Don’t you dare turn your back to me!” you shouted

“Calm down babe. You’re being too much,” he said still walking out of the bedroom forcing you to stand up from the bed

“You just got home two hours ago.” you rushed to grab his hand and force him to look at you.

“I need to go finish up a track let go.” he pulled his hand out of your own

“It’s three am, you can do it in the morning,” you told him

“It’ll take only a couple hours and then I’ll come back,” he said looking for his keys “Oh my gosh where are my keys!”

“I have work and I won’t be able to see you.” he continued looking for his keys ignoring you. “You need to stay here a while at least the night. You’re never home anymore. It’s like you don’t even live here. I’m all alone all the time.”

“I’m never here but I still seem to hear your shit (y/n)” he said finally finding his keys.

“Fine then be alone.” you grabbed your keys and left.

He groaned in annoyance seeing your car pull out through the window “why is she this way?” he asked himself as he opened the door heading to his car.

You weren’t sure where to go thinking he would’ve stopped you but yoongi wasn’t that way and you should’ve known he’d let you leave

“Why is he this way?” you screamed at the top of your lungs and making your fourth right turn at the last minute

He started driving to the studio when he noticed your car make another right

“Where is she going?” he decided to follow you at least till he could think of where it maybe you were going.

After four more rights, he realized you were making a circle and turned on the high beam to get your attention.

You pulled  over recognizing the car after the headlights flashed into your car

Soon there was a light tap on the passenger side seat and you unlocked the car letting him slip into the car and take a seat

“Go home honey,” he said in a stern yet apologetic tone he had mastered after using it at excess

You continued looking forward “I just want the best for you.” you looked over at him

“I know and I’ll tell them today and request for a break and spend the next two weeks with you. Todays just not a good day to throw in the towel.”

“You know best. Just remember I will love you as long as I can so don’t kill yourself over an album.”

He left the car after kissing you and went to work finishing the take and then proclaiming he was going on an indefinite break for his health

Hoseok

(does he have to go this hard? I mean I’m dead already.)

“Why don’t you want to tell people about us hobi?”

It was the fourth time that month that you had to use the backdoor at a shop to avoid being seen with him

At first, you hadn’t been mad at the fact he wanted to keep things private

But it had been a little over a year now of hiding your relationship and it wasn’t cool or exciting anymore.

It was hurtful for you to have to be hidden and hide the person you loved around almost everyone

“Why is it such a problem now (y/n)? You’re overblowing this.”

“It’s been a year and we’re still hiding our relationship from the world.” you raised your voice

“You’re being too much you know it’s complicated.” he rolled his eyes turning on the television

“Really? Because all I know is that my boyfriend of over a year is not telling people were together but instead is fine posting pictures with,” you pulled out your phone opening up the twitter app and typing in hashtags. “Let us see jane doe 1, which she’s pretty what’s her name, oh it’s ‘ilovehobi4’. Maybe if I change my username to ‘i-fuck-hoseok-but-he-wont-let-us-be-seen-together-like-im-a-whore3’ I can get a photo up with you in it”  you said in one breath

He laughed and shook his head

“I’m not kidding. I shouldn’t have too strong-arm you into telling people were together.” you stayed quiet for a moment, hoping he would say something but he continued watching the drama that was on

“Fine then.” you stood up and went to the bedroom

Half an hour later and with three bags packed you walked out

“I’ve tried with you hoseok.” he looked up at the use of his real name quickly noticing your bags

“Oh my gosh (y/n) you have to be kidding me-it's ten pm are we doing this now?” he looked more bothered than concerned

“I’ve been understanding but if you don’t go public I can’t anymore. No one can handle being treated like a dirty secret and I’m no exception.”

He let you walk out thinking you’d come back in ten minutes tops

He falls asleep on the couch waiting for you and when he wakes up he calls his managers right away

“Look I don’t care how they react I just wanted to tell you guys first”

He looks through his camera roll and finds a beautiful photo of the both of you sitting on stage in an empty arena

You opened your phone and saw a text saying sorry with a picture of the tweet

You smiled as you read the caption ‘Tbt to when I and my beautiful sweetheart (y/n) almost got sunburned in Los Angeles’

You drove home

Namjoon

 “Get off your phone babe.”

You were out eating dinner with him but it was more like eating alone being that he was on his phone emailing and completely ignoring you

It wasn’t the first time this had happened

It was probably the tenth time this month you had eaten in silence

“Joon baby are you there?” you asked growing irritated with him

“What (y/n)?” he said sounding annoyed with you

“Nothing it’s just were out eating and you haven’t even said more than a ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and both were said to the waiter.”

“I have important things to do. Please just let me get them done.” he looked back down as you sighed

You sat there for ten more minutes just picking at your food

You stood up and left the table

“Okay! I’m done now.” he looked up noticing you weren’t there anymore “Fuck.” he muttered noticing your bag was gone too.

“Can I get the check to please?”

When he got home he noticed that a bag was missing and some of your clothes

He saw you in the bathroom throwing in some of your make-up into the bag you had packed

“Baby what are you doing? you gave me a heart attack.”

“I’m leaving Namjoon. What does it look like?” you scoffed

“Why?”

“You never give me any of your time and I’m sick of it.” you pushed past him trying to look for anything else you might need

“Come on don’t be this way. Work is so busy now and it’s really important, you know this.”

You looked up at him “If it’s more important than I’ll go”

“Don’t make me choose.” he pleaded

“I won’t. I’ll take the option away”

You left and didn’t hear from him for two days

You were sleeping at a friend’s house when you hear a song start blasting

“Ugh they need to turn it down I’m trying to have a sad nap” you cried into the pillow you were using

Then you realized what song it was “no it can’t be,” you walked to the window of the small townhouse hearing the song you and Joon had first danced to blast “that shit head,” you said to yourself as you saw your boyfriend on the street

You walked outside in you pyjamas even though it was the afternoon

“Turn it down Joon, this is a nice neighbourhood,” you shouted over the music

“Not until you agree to come home,” he shouted back turning it down a bit so you could talk

You shook your head and turned to go back to the house

“I’m sorry, honey it’s you. I’ll try to be better. I love you more than anything.”

Jimin

“You know it’s not that simple.”

You were ignoring Jimin and trying to shut down the conversation

“Then tell me how it’s complicated so I can understand and help,” he replied

“I don’t want to.” you walked out of the bedroom standing up from bed for the first time that day

“I’m worried about you (y/n). You don’t seem ok. It’s five and you’re still in bed.” he followed you out

“Nothing's the matter,” you assured him

“I know you’re lying.” he followed you like a puppy around the house

“Stop Jimin leave me alone,” you said turning around to face him

“I’m just worried,” he whined

“I’m fine, I just had off for the first time in a while and I wanted to rest.” you tried to shut him down

“Well you shouldn’t just lay in bed all day.” his tone changed slightly into his judgemental one

“Well I think I had a great time so leave me alone.” you snapped back admittedly a little meaner than intended  

“You’re always saying for me to leave you alone when I’m your boyfriend who you live with and supposedly love,” he complained from the couch where he had found refuge in one room away

“You're so whiney.” you clapped back

“That’s not even a word.” he laughed

“You know what I’m saying.”

“You’re so backwards. What am I supposed to do when I find my girlfriend sleeping in bed in the same clothes as ten hours later.”

“This is why I like living alone.” you lied

“You’re welcome to go.” he lied

“Fine then.” you were joking trying to get a reaction when you started packing a bag and then before you know it you were walking out of the room and to the door

“Come on (y/n) let’s watch the movie we’ve been meaning to watch.” he looked up not realizing what you had done “Shit, what are you doing?” he laughed standing up

“I’m leaving,” you stated

“Come on baby calm down, I was joking.” he grabbed your bags

“Stop that,” you shouted

“Don’t do this.” he pleaded to realize you weren’t joking

You hadn’t intended to leave but his reaction and taking that choice away made you want to in spite

“I’ll do as I please.” you grabbed the bags back

“Come on baby, why are you leaving?” he asked trying to understand

“Because you told me too. I want someone who wants me,” you stated

“(y/n) are you kidding?” he laughed

“This isn’t some joke,” you shouted angered by his laughs

You started to smile a little falling victim to his demeanour

“No, no.” he collected himself. “I know this isn’t a joke.” he took your bags out of your hands and threw them onto the couch

“It’s just I care too much and you yell at me and then I back off and you yell at me.” he smiled

“I’m sorry.” you sighed out realizing what you had done

“Sorry, too I need to find the right balance.”

You both sat down on the couch and started the movie

Taehyung

( i had to do it to em)

“I’m leaving.”

You couldn’t remember why the two of you had started fighting and it was becoming unbearable

He rushed over to the door

“I swear on the lord that isn’t above Kim Taehyung if you don-” you were interrupted by him pressing you against his chest in an embrace shocked by the show of affection

“Come on, we can talk this out,” he whispered

“I don’t even know what we have to talk out anymore.” you sighed letting yourself relax into his arms

“I know, me either.” he sighed back

“Can we just forget this happened and go back to normal, I’m tired of all this endless bickering. It makes it hard to live here.” you let yourself breath “I don’t ever wanna go and I also can’t stay if we continue down this pat-”

“We won’t,” he reassured you still hugging you tightly

“Can we just go to bed in the same bed again?” you looked up

“We can do whatever you want.”

Jungkook

“What is this?”

You were holding your phone in the air while shouting across the office in your home

“What?” he shouted back

“This.” you were showing him a picture of leaked tour dates

“Oh,” he  looked down “Oh no,” he said a little more aggravated as he realized what they were

“Were you gonna tell me when they dropped or when you were on the plane?” you asked him your voice still a couple of octaves higher than normal

“Shish (Y/n) calm down,” he said going back to his work on the computer

“What do you mean calm down this is at least two more months.” you weren’t mad anymore but the reality hit you “You jus-,” your voice cracked “ just got back.”

You walked out of the office and into the kitchen pouring yourself a cup of water

“It’ll be fine. I’ve been away for longer.” he broke the silence while searching for snacks

“I don’t know,” you chugged some water

“What don’t you know?” he asked with no empathy

“I just can’t do this anymore.” you walked out of the kitchen and then the house with only your cards and phone

“What do you mean babe?” he walked out of the kitchen and realized you weren’t there

“(y/n) where are you?” he called out into the empty house

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” he screamed running to the window to see if your car was there

“What do I do?” you asked yourself driving down the highway

Suddenly you started sobbing and got the nearest exit

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” you screamed pulled over in a back street

“What do I do” you cried

“I don’t know?” Jungkook pleaded into his phone

“I don’t know what to tell you man.” Namjoon sighed on the other end

“She just, she said she couldn’t do it.” he sobbed into his phone

“Calm down. It’ll be ok. Go after her call her and if she doesn’t pick up, call her friend or her mom or someone who would know.”

“Ok. That sounds like a step in the right direction.”

You were still crying in your car when your phone went off

You sobbed a little harder when you saw the caller id

“He doesn’t even care. It took him an hour to notice I was gone.” you cried

Ten rings later and you picked up your phone

“What Jungkook it’s not a good time.” you tried to compose yourself but your voice was hoarse

“  Baby, Thank you for picking up” he was sobbing “I was so worried.”

“Why are you sad? I’m the one being left behind.” you choked out

“Because I love you (y/n)” he responded, “I love you so much and I don’t know how to fix this but it doesn’t matter because if you’re gone there's no one to fix it for.”

“I don’t know if it can be.” you sobbed

“Just come home so we  can figure it out together.”

There was a long silence

“Ok,” you whispered turning the car back on

You drove home with him on the line and in silence both scared at how this would end and  whether you’d both make it to the other side

[veroticker]

Wanderlove - Rachel Blaufeld

Summary (from Rachel Blaufeld’s website)

Sick of living under her dad’s rules, Emerson Bender bolts when she’s eighteen. On her own for the first time, she heads to the only place her mom ever lived—New York City—desperate to find the woman who dropped her off on her dad’s doorstep.

Content to spend the rest of his life in Small Town, Pennsylvania, Price Barnes is plucked out of his idyllic life by his estranged father. Missing his mom and stepfather, he’s dropped in New York City to attend college and live an all-expenses paid lifestyle. Cushy, right? But not the life he wanted.

She’s looking to fill a hole in her heart, and he’s looking to forget the man who disrupted his life. Together, they’re both wandering, looking for acceptance and hoping to forget the rejection.

Blurb

““Emerson! Stop. Don’t do this! Emerson, please don’t do this. I didn’t mean it. Please, Emmy...”

His words echoed in my head but didn’t stop me. I slammed the car door right in my dad’s face, shutting him up in mid-plea.

I couldn’t listen to him.

Didn’t dare.

Not for one second longer.

Not this time.

Not even when he called me Emmy.

We’d had this fight before—a million and two times. Each time, I gave in and did it his way. Our fights always ended with me crying on his shoulder, and him rubbing my back, shushing me and telling me to let it go.

Just the thought of it made me grit my teeth.

The last time, I’d sworn to never bring her up again, and he’d said the same. It was a mutual decision. Yet, I was the one to break our promise. I was the one who dared speak her name aloud.

Five stupid letters, P-A-U-L-A, came tumbling from my lips, inside the four walls of our house, the exact place where I’d promised not to say it.

Paula had always been and continued to be a curse word between us—worse than fuck. Her name was only brought out when the big guns were needed, or when the most painful wound needed to be inflicted. The mere mention of her name left a gaping gash in us that no superglue or stitches would easily remedy.

Which is why he’d spent my whole life convincing me she needed to stay where she’d always been—deep in my past.

Although I tried not to bring her up in regular conversation, Paula haunted my dreams and waking hours in equal measure. Dad was the better person, and only spoke of her when I was bold enough to say her name first.

Except this time, I wasn’t full of piss and vinegar and false threats.

Boldly, I’d said her name loud and proud. For once in my short life, I took him to task. I was determined to find her, and he wasn’t going to stop me. He was squeezing the life out of me with his rules and curfews.

Yeah, I was all he had, and he’d been a single dad since I was born, but fuck it. The man had been my rock, but he was also a major pain in my ass.

Like right now, waving his hands in the air, begging me to stop.

Not gonna do it, Dad.

This time, he’d gone too far. He had no right to tell me I couldn’t date Robby Williams. Actually, dating I could do. It was the other stuff Dad wouldn’t allow.

So what if I wanted to stay out with Robby . . . all night? I was eighteen, had just graduated from high school, and would be off to school in the fall. I could do whatever I wanted, even if I still lived at home. Right?

“Paula would let me do it.”Tired of always giving in, this time I’d held my ground, threatening him with the only thing I knew would hurt. It wouldn’t just sting; it would bite like a samurai sword slicing through raw flesh. Any other threat would have cut like a butter knife.

He stared at me, taking in my angry face and heaving chest before boldly daring me. “Fine, Emerson, be my guest. Go find your long-lost mommy and see if she cares.”

As soon as he’d said it, he broke down and cupped my cheeks, his calloused palms gentle on my skin. “I didn’t mean it, honey, I swear. This is hard. I can’t always be the perfect mom and dad, all at the same time.”

With what I was certain had to be a thousand red splotches creeping up my neck, I decided to go for it. Take him up on his challenge and go look for Paula. After all, in three short months, I’d be gone anyway. What’s wrong with setting out a little early?”

(review under the cut)

Review

I don’t usually read young adult romance because I have a hard time identifying with the characters--I’m much too older at this point. But I can totally identify with people from the countryside trying to adapt to life in a big city, and that was a big part of this book’s plot. It was quite interesting to see them changing their life, bit by bit or as a one time thing, the longer they stay in New York.

The characters spend the whole book trying to find their place in the world. In the city, in their family, in each other’s life. It’s only amazing that they find it by the end of the story--I’m still struggling to find mine. I think it resonates with most of us, if not all.

As for the plot itself, I admit that I was a bit confused with Emerson’s actions. The writer insists that she is quite young and so can make a mountain out of a molehill, and yet, I never thought that under-communication at this level was possible. She keeps everything secret, even the most unsignificant things, until--of course--they’re discovered in the worst possible way, creating conflicts when there should have been none. It was my major problem with this book.

The writing is quite good, and I really enjoyed the characters. Maybe a bit unrealistic--way too many coincidences--but suspension of disbelief exists for that reason. A sweet and funny story, with a dribble of angst.

Quickie

Series: standalone

Hashtags: #young adult #virginity #instalove

Triggers: mention of drug abuse

Main couple: Emerson Bender & Price Barnes

Hotness: 2/5

Romance: 4/5

+ feisty heroine + calm and wise hero = nice dynamics

- lots of overreactions imho

Stalker mode

You can suscribe to Rachel Blaufeld’s newsletter on her website.

You can also follow her on Facebook.

[artificialqueens]

Hey (Trixya) - JJ

AN: Hi hello there this is my first-ever fic and I am freaking the fuck out but hey it’s 3:30AM and I have the rest of the night to regret every decision I’ve ever made.

Short lil’ Trixya thing I’ve had in my mind for a while now (even tho there’s barely any Trixie in it LOL). A lil' angsty. Mostly Katya-centric and Katya/Violet friendship-centric. Drag names are used but with male pronouns (except Violet, of course, has gender-neutral pronouns).

If people are interested I’ll do a follow-up.

I welcome (and would actually really appreciate) any and all constructive criticism, please!

Thank-you so much for reading!

XOXOXO,

~ JJ

“Okay… so… how long, EXACTLY, has it been since you last spoke to him…?”

  Katya sighed and refused to look at the computer screen where Violet’s no-doubt judgemental face could be seen.

  “I dunno. Little while. Not that long.” He dared sneak a glance and immediately regretted it as he was met with one of Violet’s admittedly perfect eye rolls.

  “Bitch you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday. The entirety of the Internet freaked the fuck out. I was surprised some dumbass hashtag wasn’t trending because of it. #RIPTrixya or something. #KatyaKilledTrixya. Endless possibilities.”

  “Hey!” Katya gasped indignantly, “Just because I didn’t wish him a public happy birthday on social media does not mean I didn’t wish him a happy birthday at all! I sent him a lovely text right at midnight.

  “And besides!” he continued, “Fans are so over-dramatic. We have a show coming out soon. How can anyone think we had a falling out. Jesus.”

  “You done yet?” Violet asked. Katya shot them an annoyed look.

  “I am just saying,” Violet continued, “that it’s a little suspish. And I mean, really? A text? Not even FaceTime or a phone call? Seriously, Katya, what’s wrong?” Violet’s voice betrayed their stone-cold bitch persona, genuinely concerned for their friend.

  Katya started to deny any reason for concern but stopped himself. Shoulders slumped and looking totally defeated, he looked away from Violet’s prying eyes and focused on picking a hangnail.

  “It’s hard now.” He whispered.

  “What’s hard?” Violet prompted.

  “My dick,” Katya replies instantaneously, always turning to humour when the things get a little too serious for his liking.

  “Katya I swear to God…” Violet sighs impatiently.

  “Okay okay sorry.” Katya giggles nervously, eyes darting all over the place.

  Silence.

  “Katya if you don’t start talking soon I swear to God I will—”

  “Okay!” Katya snaps, cutting Violet off. He takes a deep breath.

  “It’s hard now—”

  “You already said that.”

  “If you don’t let me finish I am ending this call right now.” Katya threatened.

  “By all means, continue.” Violet says, smirking.

  “It's… like… ugh! I don’t know!” Katya growls, frustrated.

  “Just do what you always do and let the word vomit happen. I’m sure I’ll catch the gist.” Violet suggests.

  “Okay. So. Like. You know how part of our whole dynamic is that ongoing joke about me wanting to fuck him and him always denying me? It’s fun, right? I always thought so. Going off on those tangents was always such a gas and one of my favourite parts of all my sets. But like. Lately I don’t find it so much fun. It’s like I feel sick every time I start and then I end up going off of my usual script and saying stupid shit like ‘I wish he were my boyfriend’ or something and JESUS. I don’t know. It makes me upset now. Like we’ve gone from ‘ha ha he’ll never fuck me but I’ll sure die trying!’ to ‘wow this is really never gonna happen huh I wonder why I’m not good enough.’” He finishes with a deep sigh and waits for Violet to respond. He fully expects for them to laugh and comment on how silly this was and tell him to just get over it and move on.

  What he’s not expecting is for Violet to remain quiet and stare intensely at what he assumes is his face on their screen. There’s a bit of something (excitement? hope?) in their eyes and Katya doesn’t know what’s happening. If it weren’t for Violet’s chest moving as they breathed he would have thought the connection had been frozen.

  “Vi? You gonna say something?”

  “You’re not done. I’m waiting for you to finish.” Violet replies quickly.

  “Um. What?” Katya asks lamely.

  “Your word vomit. You’re not done. There’s more. I’m waiting.”

  “No? There’s not?” Katya is desperately trying to figure out what’s happening but comes up blank.

  “Jesus Christ do not make me spell it out for y—” before they could continue, someone calls out Violet’s name and they look over their computer at whoever it is.

  “Listen, I gotta go. I’m up soon. Call me back when you figure your fucking shit out.”

  Before Katya can even begin to formulate a response, the call is disconnected.

  ***************

  Katya tries his best to go to sleep, but it turns out to be impossible. He keeps going over his conversation with Violet in his head, trying to make sense of it all.

  He sighs deeply and turns over in his bed, reaching for his phone. Normally, when he couldn’t sleep, he’d text Trixie a multitude of weird facts and random thoughts. The other man would usually be sound asleep but would always reply as soon as he woke up, usually with a simple “Katya what the fuck” before individually commenting on every text he received.

  Normally.

  But try as he might, Katya can’t bring himself to text Trixie. Hasn’t been able to for weeks now. It’s weird. He’s used to texting back and forth every day, even when they’re on opposite sides of the world. Sure, replies may be hours apart, but they still make it work.

  He wonders if Trixie realizes they haven’t texted about anything other than the necessary reasons (such as their upcoming show) for going on three weeks now.

  Probably not.

  Katya opens up their conversation thread and types a simple you awake?

  He quickly deletes it, sounding too much like a booty call.

  hey Tracy it’s your mom

  Delete.

  you would not believe what I saw this afternoon walking down my neighbourhood

Delete.

  are you still being a good person and honouring your NDA or can we talk about AS3 now

  Delete.

  I miss you.

  Delete.

  do you miss me?

  Delete.

  you know it’s weird it’s like I can’t breathe lately and I wonder if it has anything to do with us not talking ha ha ha

  Delete.

  do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve spoken

  I don’t really know how to live my everyday life when you’re not a part of it

  Jesus Christ do you even care

  fuck you

  I hate you

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  DELETE.

  He turns his phone off and shoves it underneath his comforter, deep at the bottom of the bed.

  And suddenly breathing is very hard.

  He tries to catch a breath but finds it impossible. He realizes he’s shaking and tries even harder to calm down. It’s been a while since he had a panic attack. He’s not sure he even knows how to deal with a panic attack any more.

  Because he always calls Trixie whenever he thinks he can feel one coming on.

  But that’s not really an option at the moment.

  “Come on, Katya, put that fucking yoga training to use.” He tells himself, trying to take deep breaths.

  It takes a while, definitely much longer than in the past, but he finally manages to calm down. Well. His breathing is still shaky and his hands still tremble slightly, but at least it no longer feels as if he’s about to die.

  He turns his computer on, opens Skype, and hopes Violet is available.

  Violet Chachki is offline.

  Damn.

  He types a quick 911 in the chat box and, almost immediately after hitting “SEND,” hears the familiar tone of an incoming call.

  “What’s up, slut?” Violet greets him, a light teasing tone to their voice.

  “Figured it out.” He replies numbly.

  “Mmm figured what out?”

  Okay now they’re just being a little cruel.

  “That um. That. That I…”

  “…are stupidly in love with one Trixie Mattel and want to father his biologically impossible babies?” Violet offers helpfully.

  “Yeah that’d be it.” Katya whispers.

  “And what are you gonna do about it.”

  Katya snaps his head up so quickly it’s a miracle he doesn’t cause whiplash.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am going to bury this deep deep DEEP down and never mention it ever.”

  Violet rolls their eyes.

  “So you came to this grand conclusion for what, exactly?”

  “Well now I know. So I can hide it.”

  Violet is about to reply when Katya cuts them off.

  “We have a show coming up, Violet. We’ve built this little niche together. We are a business. I can’t let anything get in the way of that. I can’t do that to him.” Tears prick at his eyes and he can feel his breathing becoming elevated once again.

  “Don’t you fucking dare freak out on me.”

  Well. That’s certainly a different approach from Trixie’s gentle comfort. But if it works it works.

  “Listen to me, Katya, because I am only going to say this once. You’d have to be fucking blind to not see the way Trixie looks at you. Like you hang the fucking moon. And yes I am aware of the fact that platonic love is very real and platonic soulmates are a thing but TRUST me when I say you two are so much more than that. It might’ve started out platonic, sure, but it has definitely grown into something so much bigger. You just weren’t ready. And now you are. So I am going to ask you one more time. What. are. you. going. to. do. about. it.”

  Katya takes a deep breath and lets it out, slowly and shakily.

  “Something really stupid,“ he replies.

  Violet grins.

  “That’s my fucking girl.”

  ***************

  Okay so in retrospect hauling ass to Trixie’s place at four o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best idea.

  But here he is.

  He’s been ringing the doorbell and knocking for the past seven minutes and is seriously considering just hunkering down against the door and sleeping until Trixie finds him later on in the morning when he hears his angry voice from the other side of the door, closer with every word.

  “I swear to God this better be a fucking emergency or if you’re here to murder me you better get it right on the first try because I am pissed the fuck off right now and could probably kill a man!”

  The door is swung open angrily.

  Trixie’s angry face quickly turns to one of shock.

  Katya smiles shyly.

  They stare at each other.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

[plasticsposse]

The Penis Game & Group Projects

(Hi, this is a japril med school au I found in my drafts. For this story I’m going with April’s first reason for being a virgin that she revealed in 7x07, saying she wanted it to be special, instead of using her religion. Hope you guys enjoy)

“I know mom.” Jackson Avery said for what felt like the billionth time into his cell phone. For the entire 10 minute duration, from his room on campus to the library, his mother, Dr Catherine Avery has been scolding him.

“Jackson I know you’re in college but you need to stop sleeping around so much or be more discrete. You’re not in your under grad anymore you’re in med school. More importantly at Harvard where half of our coworkers children attend school.” 

“I’m well aware of it.” Jackson replied while rolling his eyes and striding up the giant concrete steps leading up to the Countway Library

It’s not like he sleeps around that much. In Jackson’s opinion, the fellow “legacies” of Harvard needed to mind their own fucking business, but he would never say that aloud while talking to his mom. 

“Your grandfather and I are tired of your indiscretions being gossip here. So I’m setting you up with a date for the fall fundraiser.” 

“What? No. You’re not.” He grasped the library’s door handle way harder than what was needed and swung the door open as he entered the building. Anytime his mother has tried to “set him up” in the past it was one of the younger staffers or a friend’s daughter, anyone who would be her little spy. Picking up whatever his mother didn’t hear through the grape vine. 

“Want to bet?” 

“You can’t because-” trying to come up with a good lie quickly, while looking for his study group was harder than one would think. The library’s arched ceiling went up to two stories tall and their study area was filled with evenly spaced tables; the way they were lined up made it goes as long as half a football field. Scanning his eyes through the dispersed crowd of people: the guy in the very back corner who thinks he is inconspicuously watching porn, but in reality, everyone has known he does that since the first year of undergrad; the Aryan study group, all of them had blonde hair with blue eyes. Some of them were stupid enough to tweet things with the hashtag #AllLivesMatter or even worse #WhiteLivesMatter; there was an attractive girl studying by herself, and two tables away from her was just who he was looking for. Charles Percy, he was wearing his ridiculous neon yellow shirt. Jackson was pretty sure no one else in Massachusetts owned it. 

“Jackson, I don’t have all day here.” His mother said sounding less impressed than she had throughout the entire conversation. Bringing him back to his need for an excuse. 

“You can’t set me up with someone because … Because I have a girlfriend.” He stuttered out while walking towards his friends. 

“Since when? Who is she? Are you bringing her out to brunch on Sunday? You remembered we’re having brunch right?” 

“Mom we have brunch the third Sunday of every month of course I remember. It’s uh really new and I can’t get into any details right now cause I have to go bye.” Jackson hung up before his mother could say anything else.

“So since when do you have a girlfriend Jackie?” One of Jacksons best friends, Alex Karev smirked. Of course, Alex had to hear his lie. 

“Shut up. My mom was trying to set me up with one of her minions again.” Jackson said while sitting down. 

“What’s this imaginary girlfriend’s name?” Charles asked joining in with Alex.  

“Look it doesn’t matter, I’ll tell my mom it’s too new for them to meet each other and then, both conveniently and tragically, we’ll break up just before the gala.” 

“Dude, you think that will actually work? Your mom is probably stalking your facebook right now looking for your fake girlfriend.”

“This issue is more than a month away, I’m more worried about the fact I have to memorize all of these reading tomorrow, Since Webbers going to grill me.” Jackson sighed. 

Professor Webber was one of the most highly respected faculty members on staff. He taught with such a passion anyone would want to learn from him. But he was a hard ass who loved to pick on his students all the time. Especially with Jackson, and for no apparent reason. 

Almost two hours had passed since Jackson sat down with his group. The three men stopped actually studying 15 minutes ago and for the past ten have been playing the penis game.

“Penis.” Charles whispered, this was one of these more arbitrary choices for a game, but it helped pass the time. 

“Penis.” Alex said at the same octave, completely missing the point of the game. He and Charles were too big of chickens to scream the word in the library, but Jackson was so bored he went with the lengthening the time of the game. 

“Penis.” Jackson repeated less than a decibel higher. Charles and Alex continued following the same tone as the person before them. Jackson was getting ready to get it to a normal noise level. Licking his top lip then proceeding to press it with his bottom lip making the p sound “pe-”

“PENIS.” A very loud, very feminine voice bellowed startling all three men, and the entire library. “There the game is over. Now can you guys please shut up so people can study in peace?” Asked the pretty girl Jackson noticed when he first arrived. 

Although she still tried to sound as assertive as she was screaming, any hardness to her voice was basically gone, replaced by a soft almost endearing tone.

She took their silence as a yes and went back to reading her textbook. Jackson was completely speechless. The only other person he never knew how to reply sometimes was his mother. He was so impressed he wanted to know this girls name. Before he could ask, her phone started ringing and she was gone.

As soon as she left Alex was the first to speak “I don’t think I’ve ever played that game and had a girl win.”

“Have you ever actually played the penis game with a girl before?” Jackson asked.

“Oh God! I knew I knew her from somewhere. Oh no.” Charles mumbled actually looking sick to his stomach.

“Dude, who are you talking about?” Alex asked furrowing his eyebrows, neither he nor Jackson could follow what Charles was talking about half the time.\

“That girl, she was with the one who made out with me at the frat party two weeks ago.” Charles put his face in his hands as he continued, “and now she’ll probably tell her friend I’m an idiot, who plays the penis game in the library.” “Wait which chick did you kiss?” 

“I’ve been trying to find her since the party. Don’t you guys listen to anything I say?” Charles was met with two blank stares from his friends. “The one with the pixie cut and rose tattoo on her arm.”

“Oh yeah, we thought you gave up on her like a week ago.” Jackson said.

“It’s college, and you’re in med school. Women throw themselves at us once they find out. Just move on.” Alex added. - After they were done studying the three boys parted ways from the library. Without any plans and not really in the mood to go back to his dorm, Jackson found himself wandering to the closest coffee shop. 

It was a very comforting place, the smell of coffee beans greeting him as soon as he entered, plush leather couches to rest on, a shelf full of book one could borrow during their stay here, and acoustic songs playing softly in the background. 

Jackson made his way to the back of the line and couldn’t be happier with what he saw ahead of him, the cashier was his mystery girl. She welcomed every customer with a contagious smile and listened attentively to every word they said. Her hair is tied in a high ponytail, that bounced beautifully every time her head moves. By the time Jackson was the next person in line he has studied every inch of her that could be seen above the counter. He knows it sounds weird but she intrigues him. 

“I can help who’s next.” She called out while passing the latest coffee order she took to the person on bar. As she looked up her entire demeanour changed “What can I get for you?” 

“I’ll get a medium americano, and I would like to apologize for me and my friends earlier. We had no intentions of disrupting your studying.”

“That the entire point of the game.” she laughed “And your name?” 

“Jackson, can I get yours.” 

“Your total is $2.58.” She replied

“You never answered my question,” Jackson said to her as he passed a $5 bill. “And keep the change.”

“My name? Nah, I don’t trust people with last names as first names.” This girl amused him more and more with each second that passed by.

“You know that’s quite prejudicial of you.” Jackson told her while giving her the ‘look.’ Whenever he used his eyes he always got what he wants. Out of trouble with adults as a child, teachers giving him extensions on projects, and dates lot and lots of dates. 

“I guess I’m a biased person, you can pick up your drink at the left. I can help whos next.” Correction, Jacksons eyes usually always got him what he wants.

“I have a medium Americano for a uh-uh. Just an uh medium americano.” The male barista called out with a peculiar expression. Jackson picked up the steaming cup, unsure as to what would cause the guys expression. What was wrong with his drink? It looked like an Americano and when he put it up to his nose it smelt like one. Everything seemed perfectly normal. That was until he noticed what was on the side of the cup, with perfect writing “PENIS.” - When Sunday came around Jackson wore one of his favourite suits. A grey Giorgio Armani, with a very tiny pinstripe pattern, that was altered perfectly for him. On more than one occasion, when Jackson went to these brunches people assumed he was going to church. To many Christian girls, he looked the perfect part to be their dream guy. Because of this, he was often given many numbers belonging to girls with crosses on their necks. He even hooked up with a couple of them (on a different day), but nothing more. The one thing that destroyed each and everyone girls fantasy was the fact he’s an atheist. 

He was raised to believe in science and only things that can be proven. That was the entire ironic part to him, so many of the women that wanted him believed in love at first sight and there is only one person they’re meant to be with. Jackson doesn’t even believe in the concept of soulmates, they’re ridiculous to him. How could someone actually believe that out of the seven billion people on this planet you’re only compatible with one of them. And how is it even possible that this one person is even in the same geographical region as their “soul mate.” 

Jackson arrived at brunch right on the dot, at 9 am.  

“You’re late.” His mother greeted him.

“You said to meet at 9 o'clock, it’s 9!” 

“And I also say on time is five minutes early. Now kiss your mothers cheek and sit down.” He did as told, after kissing his mothers cheek he sat down in the seat directly across from her. “So where is she?” His mother asked peeking her head behind him.

“Who?” Jackson questioned turning to face where she was looking, unsure of whom she was looking for. 

“Don’t play dumb, Jackie. Where is your girlfriend?” Oh yeah… He ‘had’ a girlfriend. 

“Mom-”

“Oh c'mon Jackson, it’s not like I’m going to psychology damage her. I just want to meet the girl that’s making my son happy.”  

“We’re still really new and I don’t want to rush it, mom.” Although his mom has meddled with his love life since he started dating, today she looked so genuinely excited. It made him feel awful about creating this lie. He kept telling himself if he didn’t, the night of the fundraiser would be a terrible setup. And as a bonus, when his fake girlfriend (hypothetically) breaks his heart, his mother won’t yell at him for getting lucky with someone at the gala…. And that thought was even worse if he kept this up the title of worlds most terrible son would be his soon. “I really care about her, but I will bring her to the gala.” 

“Oh alright, can I get her name?” The one problem in an otherwise full proof plan.. Jane Doe? Suzy Homemaker? No name?

“No, I don’t need you internet stalking her. You can find out at the gala.” 

“Fine, I’ll meet her then and she will tell me everything about herself. Speaking of the gala, since it’s on a Saturday night, and that function will go until the sun rises, I want to move our monthly brunch. What day is it your classes start later.” 

“Thursday.”  

“Perfect, we will meet the Thursday before the gala. Make sure, you put the changed date in your calendar.” - “Alright everyone, as you know, your Objective Structured Clinical Exams are coming up in the next couple of months. Last class, I gave you all 7 different patients to study, all with different symptoms. Let’s see who actually did their work.” Professor Webber looked down at his classroom list to call on names. “Ms Murphy.” 

“Ugh yes, sir.” A tall girl, with long dirty blonde hair, and very prominent cheek bones replied. 

“Patient four.”

“Uh, patient four.” The girl repeated in a questioning matter.

“Yes, tell your class about patient four.”

“Um..” 

“Do you know what case I’m even talking about?” There was no response to his question, just silence. 

“How could someone not do the assignments Webber gave? That’s like showing up to class naked.” Jackson whispered to his friend, completely baffled at what he is witnessing.

“A complete moron.” Alex replied.

“Mr Karev, tell me about patient four.” Professor Webber said, startling both Alex and Jackson. 

“Patient four is in recovery after surgery and is having respiratory problems.” “What is your diagnosis?”

“Post-op pneumonia, I would have her put on antibiotics right away.” Alex answered, voice full of confidence.

“The drugs have been administrated and nothing has changed over night. She still has shortness of breath what now?” Professor Webber asked 

“I.. don’t know.” He answered truthfully

“Name the causes of post-op fever.” 

“Yes sir..” Alex quickly grabs his notes for reference.

“From your head. Not from a book. Don’t look it up, learn it, it should be in your head. Name the common causes of post-op fever.”   “Uh…the common causes of post-op…” 

“Can anybody name the common causes of post-op fever?” Professor Webber looks away from Alex, asking the entire class now. Jackson felt bad for his friend, usually, only Webber grilled him this bad. “Go ahead,” Webber said looking at someone further back than Jackson and Alex.

“Wind, water, wound, walking, wonder drugs. The five Ws. Most of the time it’s wind, splinting or pneumonia. Pneumonia’s easy to assume, especially if you don’t run tests.” Said a feminine voice, the same one from the library and the cafe last week.

“What do you think is wrong with patient 4?”

“The fourth W, walking. I think they’re a prime candidate for pulmonary embolism.” She replied to their instructor, completely sure of herself. “And how would you diagnose?”

“Spiral CT, VQ scan, provide O2, dose with Heparin, and consult for an IVC filter.” 

“Thank you, ugh, Miss?” 

“Kepner, sir.” She said sounding timider than just before. For the rest of the lecture, Webber tortured other students with these cases. Shockingly he left Jackson alone. 

“Some of you succeeded today while others failed miserably.  Not only is this preparing you for your tests, it’s also the basis of your upcoming project. I’m assuming the majority of you won’t like this but you’ll be in groups of my choosing. I won’t take any complaints because no matter whether you go into research, radiology, dermatology, gynaecology, surgery or any other option you will have to learn to work with your colleagues as a team. You and your partner will have to create a case. Then you will share your case to five different groups and they will show you there’s. I just sent an email with a list of every group.” 

Everyone in the class whipped their phones out to look for said email. Jackson refreshed his phone five times before the email appeared in his inbox. As soon as he clicked it he skipped down to the bottom for the attachment. 

He quickly read every name “Alexandra Grey and George O'Malley” doesn’t know the girl, sort of knows George; a bit of a nerd but he is always kind to everyone. “Isobel Stevens and Ryan Scott.” She’s a part time underwear model while he’s a full-time douche. A bunch of people he barely knows are listed, he sees his best friends name “Alex Karev and Reed Adamson” no clue who she is. Then he notices mystery girls last name, Kepner, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the last name he saw beside hers. “April Kepner and Jackson Avery.” - “Oh God.” April sighed, slouching further into the uncomfortable seat. One would think for the $53,000+ dollars each student in this room is paying to attend such a prestigious place like Harvard, the university could afford seats with some cushioning. April didn’t really care about that right now though, she would sit on a chair made of thorns if it would swallow her up and take her away from this situation. 

“What’s wrong?” Her best friend since under grad, Lexie Grey, asked. 

“Look who my partner is.” April said passing her phone. 

“Oh,” Lexie replied, giving April her phone back. “Well, he doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy. Plus I know you find him attractive.” 

“What? No!” April gasped, sitting up straight. Obviously, she did but he was cocky and ignorant. 

“Calm down anyone with a working pair of eyes would agree.” Lexie smirked. “But with the reaction you just gave now, I know you like him.” That sentenced causes a giant scowl to appear on Aprils face. 

“What on good gods earth makes you think that?” April asked.

“You never get this bent out of shape over a guy.” Lexie laughed while getting out of her chair and collecting her belongings. April was quick to copy her actions but was in no way finished with this conversation. 

“I have no interest in talking to or dealing with some egotistical guy who thinks he can get everything because he’s pretty.” 

“So you do think he’s attractive. While you’re working on this project make sure you get some of that Jackson action.” 

“Never ever say that again.”  April pleaded.

“You better remove that scowl from your face, because your pretty boy is walking right this way. See you later girl, I need to go find George.” 

Once Lexie left the auditorium, April turned around to become, face to face with him. 

“So, April. I’m glad I finally know your name.” Jackson greeted her along with a beautiful smile showing off his perfect straight white teeth, he looked like he should be in an ad for Colgate.  

“I’m glad to know you’re competent enough to read an email.” She knew she was being rude, acting in the complete opposite manner to the way she was raised, but she couldn’t help it, he was so irritating. “It will make it a lot easier to work on this project.” To her surprise this comment made his smile grow even wider, and he even let out a chuckle. 

“You know, I can’t believe I never noticed you were in my class.” 

“Well I am, we even have Bailey and Hunts classes together.” 

“Glad to see you’re keeping an eye on me.” He said giving her the same look in the coffee shop. 

“As much as I hate to cut this conversation short, I need to go to my next class,” April told him, she needed to get away from him because she might do or say something irrational, like try and kiss him or smack him, or even worse, both. In all honesty, she’d probably choose the latter option making her seem even crazier. 

“Well I have a two-hour break before my lab, I’ll walk you there. Then we can talk about our project.”  

As much as she wanted to say ‘no’ it was like she forgot how to pronounce that word. So she picked up her bag and lead the way up the stairs. Unsure of how to start she remained silent for a few seconds. 

“I just have a question.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Did you show up to Thursday’s class?”

“And here I thought you were going to talk about our project.” April rolled her eyes as they entered the hall way. “Yes, I worked an early shift at the coffee shop, it actually caused me to be a bit late. Luckily for me, Webber was so focused on grilling you with a thousand questions, that he didn’t even notice me sneak in.” 

“Yeah, I’m shocked Webber didn’t call on me today. And I’m assuming you were on the closing shift the night before when you so nicely wrote penis on my cup. So why were you opening at the ass crack of dawn, the next day?” 

“Hey, you have to admit that was pretty funny.” April giggled to herself mainly. “I’m usually who they call when they need a shift covered, and ugh sadly scholarships don’t cover everything.” She said uncomfortably, it was no secret Jackson came from money, the majority of this school had wealthy backgrounds. April on the other hand, grew up on a farm in a town no one here would have ever heard of or care to know of its existence. 

“Oh yeah, it was so funny I started referring to you as Penis Girl before I learned your actual name.” 

“What?!??” Penis Girl implies, that she’s either a) a trans woman - which isn’t a bad thing it’s just she recognizes how easier her life is as a cisgender woman - or b) a woman who’s probably been up close and personal with lots of penises. Truth be told the only male genitals April has ever seen with her own eyes are pictures in her medical textbook.  

“I’m messing with you I didn’t actually call you that. When are you free?” Jackson asked, quickly adding. “So we can ugh actually start the project.” 

“I’m not sure, I’ll check my work schedule and email you when I know.” 

“Or you could just text me it.” Jackson said stepping to the side so their forearms grazed. 

“I don’t have your number.” April told him trying to move away from him - she couldn’t think straight when he did that.

“Well, that could easily be changed.” His voice was full of confidence and kind of cocky. It reminded her of when he went to her work. As attractive as he was, there is no way in hell she would let him manipulate her so he could get what he wanted.

“That’s not necessary, bye Jackson.” April chuckled, desperately trying to hide her smile as she went into class. Messing with Jackson brought such a simple easy pleasure to her day. - April laid her body on her plush, floral duvet. Nights like this were her favourite: no makeup, wearing a pair of cosy sweat pants and a pizza to share between her and Lexie. And she couldn’t be happier to see her friend. The only time they’ve seen each other this week was in class, whenever one had free time outside of school, the other one didn’t. 

“So who’s the new guy in your life?” April asked Lexie. This caused a shocked look to appear on her friends face. “It’s kind of obvious when we were getting the pizza you couldn’t stop a smile from forming on your face every time your phone buzzed. Also every time you replied you’d check your phone two seconds later.” 

“Um.. he… he is -uh-he’s older,” Lexie told her obviously nervous, not only was one of her hands playing with her hair, she was stuffing a pizza slice in her mouth - not even chewing, with her other hand. Two tell tale signs April has picked up over the years. 

“So you’ve dated guys older than you before?” Lexie’s lack of response is what worried April. “What is he your dad’s age?” 

“Well, he’s closer to my dad’s age than mine. But-but that’s not the issue.” Lexie sighed grabbing another slice of pizza.

“Is he a convicted felon?” April knew Lexie’s type of guy had always been interesting. They were always attractive but they each had a stereotypical bad boy vibe to them. Maybe she was tired of just having a vibe and went for the real thing, with a felony to match his status.

“What? No April! Why is that the first thing you go to?” Rolling her eyes, making it very obvious how ridiculous April sounded. 

“Well, you’re acting really sketchy.” 

“It’s Mark Sloan!”  She blurted out, both girls were well known to suffer from word vomit, no matter how hard either of them tried to swallow what they said down their throats.  

“Pr-Pro-Professor Sloan? That Mark Sloan?”

“Yes, I’m the girl that sleeps with Professor. I’m that girl.” Lexie said shoving her hands into her face. “But it’s so good, like mind blowingly go-” quickly shutting up to the sound of April’s door opening. 

“What’s mind blowingly good?” Aprils dorm mate, Reed Adamson asked. Reed liked April and vice versa they just ran in different social circles. Both had the type of personality that took time for most people to grow on but for different reasons: April was considered too perky, too by the book; Reed was often seen as a cold hearted bitch. Each of the personalities grew on Lexie, but she’d choose April over Reed any day. Especially with something as personal as the topic of discussion right now. 

“The pizza, you know how much Lexie loves food. Tonight we got pizza with peppers and a pesto sauce drizzled on top. She’s in love.” April lied, well nothing she said was false, it was a conversation that occurred (the previous week). 

“Okay, well I’ll be out of your hair soon. I’m getting dick tonight and have no plans of being back in this room till tomorrow morning. You can sleep in my bed, if you want, Lexie.” Reed said pointing to her bed across the room. After grabbing some stuff including a tube of lipstick and a red lace bra, she was gone.

“So, back to our conversation,” April said wanting to go to the previous conversation before they were interrupted. It’s not like April wanted to hear every detail of Lexie’s sex life, but she wanted her friend to be able to discuss what’s going on in her life. Otherwise, Lexie would blow and have a worse case of word vomit - than what had just occurred, and it would likely be in front of the wrong person.

“Yeah, you want to talk about how I’m the unknown class slut.” 

“Shut up, you’re not a bad person. You’ve always owned your sexuality. Why are you acting any different now?” 

“I think you’re the wisest virgin I’ve ever met. Or did you decide to take my advice and take a ride on Jackson’s di-”

“No!” April blushed.

“Look I know you said you want it to be special, but in all honestly it’s a social construct created by men that think their dick is life changing. Speaking from personal experience, the only guy that’s given amazing sex is Mark. That’s one out of the six guys I’ve slept with. But from the looks of Jackson, and the rumours around campus -although how many of those girls can you actually trust that they’ve slept with him - he’s pretty special.”

“Will you stop with that. He’s a classmate, that I have to do a project with. That’s all.” April huffed, she definitely didn’t want to hear or imagine any of his previous rendezvous.  

“If you say so.” Lexie said picking up the last slice of pizza from the box. - “That went so good.” Jackson grinned as they exited the doors of Professor Webber’s class. After two weeks of emailing back and forth, and all of the previous evenings spent together perfecting their case, it was finished. 

“We were on fire!” April agreed, unable to contain her bouncing from excitement. “I still can’t believe only three other groups correctly diagnosed all of their cases.” Saying that made both of their smiles grow even bigger. 

“What can I say, we are an amazing team.” He told her, truthfully. That statement caused April to jump up into his arms, giving him a big hug. Her action shocked both of them. Luckily, his quick reflexes kicked in, placing his left hand on her lower back for support. 

His hand was dangerously close to her ass, and he liked it. Usually, Jackson is only in this position when he carries a woman to a bed, and they have minimal clothing on. If this were anyone else he would probably crack a joke about it - but it’s Kepner.

While they were finishing the project he realized how innocent she is. Yes, she said penis a lot when they first met. It took until that occasion for him to notice the slight red pigmentation scattered across her face when she says that word. Jackson likes talking to her, and he will gladly be more pg if it means he gets to spend time with her,

“What’s going on here?” Lexie asked startling the two. 

Their denim covered legs stopped touching as Aprils black flats touched the floor again. Jacksons slid his hand across her soft, cotton covered back until he no longer felt her. 

“We, uh we were um-” April tried to form a sentence. 

“We were having a celebration hug.” Jackson answered, ending Aprils stutters. “And now, I’m inviting you both to the Halloween party at Kappa Sigma this weekend.” Right away Lexie’s face grinned, while April looked uncomfortable. 

“Oh, Jackson I don’t really think-”

“It starts at 10:30, make sure you dress up. Anyways, I have to get going.” And with a wave, he was leaving the two girls. 

He felt bad for cutting April off twice, but the first time put everyone (including her) out of their misery. And the second time he knew she was going to turn down his offer right away. He definitely didn’t want that to happen. - “Well, that was interesting.” 

“Huh?” April asked. She heard her friend speak but her attention was focused on the man she was previously wrapped around and his perfect backside. “I said, ‘that was interesting.’” Lexie repeated. “And stop looking at him walk away he can probably feel your eyes.” 

April faced turned and made eye contact with her friend “sorry.” She sheepishly smiled. 

“Oo you’re smitten. So, what are you going to wear?”  

“Nothing.” 

“I like it, but a little bit too risky for out in public - especially at a frat house. Save that for his bedroom.” 

April rolled her eyes “I said that because I’m not going.”

Lexie’s mouth opened and eyes widened in shock “You’re kidding, right?” 

“No, you know that’s not my kind of scene.” April truthfully replied. 

“Which is exactly why you should go. We’re in college for Christ’s sake, this is the only time you get to experience one of these. And I, your best friend, will be there with you.” 

“I guess you’re right.” 

“Of course I’m right. Now c'mon,” Lexie grabbed Aprils arm and started to guide her “go to class. Afterwards, we are going costume shopping.” “I already have a costume.” April pointed out as she was dragged to class. “You’re not going as a velveteen bunny. Playboy yes, velveteen is a big fat no!”

[lirapheus]

Watch me cry over the new chapter of kids of the in-between by @actuallymollyweasley under the cut.

Blush was an interesting color on Blue. It clashed rather horribly with the neon green streak Noah had dyed in her hair the other day—but the neon green streak also clashed horribly with her ripped purple overalls, so maybe it all balanced out in the end.

Now both Gansey and Blue can be seen from space thanks to his bright polo shirts and her neon green streak. That’s the power couple we deserve.Thank you, Noah Czerny. You're a hero.

“There's already too much perfect in our friend group,” he continued. “Henry and Noah never even frown at each other, and don't think I didn't notice that Gansey’s wearing a lavender polo shirt today.”

“Coincidence,” Blue insisted.

“You guys matched outfits,” Adam replied, unrepentant.

THEY MATCHED OUTFITS. THEY DID THAT. (Also, lavender's a surprisingly soft color for Gansey. I'm impressed.)

“You got me there,” Blue said, then paused. “You realize that I'm never going to be able to wash these overalls now, right? These drawings are a symbol of our friendship and ability to have serious conversations without deflecting. I have to preserve them forever.”

I had forgotten how much I loved their friendship. It's beautiful to see two people who walk through life with their walls up and rarely let others in be so, so comfortable around each other—comfortable enough to open up and show how much they care about certain people and certain things.

“All I did was make squiggly lines,” Adam said. “If you really want something worth preserving, hand them to Ronan and give him a Sharpie.”

“He'd just write the lyrics to the Murder Squash Song across my ass.”

“Or he'd draw something really thoughtful on your front pocket and pretend Chainsaw did it.”

Blue considered that statement. “Knowing Ronan, he'd do both.”

HE WOULD DEFINITELY DO BOTH. Imagine Ronan and Noah drawing on Blue’s overalls, though. They would probably turn them into a Fashion Monstrosity, then dare Blue to go outside wearing their hideous creation. (Oh, but she would.)

“[...] but if anything happens before then, just give me a call and I can be back in three hours. In fact, if you think I might need to be here for any reason at all, say the word and I can cancel my plans. Maybe I should just call Helen right now and tell her to let Mom know that I can’t make it home for Thanksgiving after all. I’m sure she’d underst—”

Richard Campbell Gansey, you're so thoughtful precious, and I love you to pieces. HE EVEN RESTOCKED THE COFFEE BEANS AND CEREAL AND BOUGHT MILK FOR THEM. HE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING. 

Now I’m scared, though. Something’s going to go wrong, and Adam’s going to end up calling Gansey, isn’t he?

Gansey considered Adam for a moment and then held out one hand for a fistbump. It was absurd and boyish and brilliantly Gansey, and Adam accepted it with a smile tugging at his lips.

Gansey's responding grin was blinding as he reached down and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. “Ronan, I'm leaving!”

“Good fucking riddance!” Ronan replied before sticking his head out of the doorway. “Watch your shifts into second gear. That's when the Pig stalls out most often.”

Adam wouldn't have thought it possible, but Gansey's smile widened.

THIS IS SO WHOLESOME. HASHTAG SAY YES TO WHOLESOME FRIENDSHIPS.

“This,” Ronan gestured vaguely, “is for my first assignment.”

Adam felt his heart collide against his ribs, a bang rather than a thump. “Happiness?”

“Yeah.” Ronan tugged the sheets more securely over his stack of canvases. “It's stupid.”

“It's not.” Adam reached out and took one of Ronan's hands in both of his, rubbing his thumbs over Ronan's knuckles..

Healing's a process, a really long one, and Ronan still has to work through many things—but he is slowly pushing through the dark. The fact that he feels capable of painting happiness again thanks to Adam and all his friends warms my heart. (I WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S UNDER THOSE SHEETS.)

And then Thursday morning came.

I’m not sure if I want to know what happened on Thursday.

“Yeah, Declan, beer on fucking Thanksgiving. Who's gonna stop me?”

“I—”

“No, I mean it,” Ronan said. “Who's gonna stop me? Because Mom hasn't spoken in months, Dad’s dead, and I don't have to listen to a word you say. You're not our fucking parents.”

Declan went completely still, as if this was another one of Ronan's paintings. Adam thought he knew which emotion Dr. Azalea would accept this one for. Heartbreak.

“Shit,” Ronan said, “I’m sorry.”

The door slammed shut behind him when he left.

I really didn’t want to know what happened on Thursday. That’s the thing with grief—sometimes you hide it in the corners of your heart and your mind, and when you least expect it, when you believe you’re finally getting a bit better, that grief comes out again and strikes you like a blow. And that’s heartbreaking, both for you and for the people who love you. Adam’s right. (God, I love how Adam keeps comparing reality to Ronan’s drawings and Dr. Azalea assignments.)

At last, the sheets Ronan had been using to hide his happiness assignment had been tossed aside, leaving the project in full view.

It was a wreck.

“I WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S UNDER THOSE SHEETS,” I said.

“This isn't normal,” Adam said. It wasn't a question because he already knew the answer.

He knew it wasn't normal.

But Ronan had been so happy for the last few weeks—he’d thought Ronan had been so happy—that he'd stopped worrying.

“The fact that he feels capable of painting happiness again thanks to Adam and all his friends warms my heart,” I said. Anya, you’re a genius. The moment Adam stopped worrying, I stopped worrying, too—because I had been seeing the story from Adam’s point of view. But things aren’t always what they seem to be. THIS HURTS.

More silence. “Did you check the roof?”

Adam felt his heart stop, restart, and stutter again, all in the space of a moment. “The roof?! Gansey, I thought we just established that Ronan wasn’t—”

“Not like that!” Gansey interrupted hastily. “Ronan and I used to go up to the roof to talk. We haven’t been up since… but anyway, it’s worth a shot.”

HE IS ON THE ROOF, ISN’T HE? I REMEMBER THE TAGS YOU LEFT ON THE GRAPHIC I MADE FOR KOTIB. “and it’s actually pretty fitting that you included it because........ well never mind ;)”. THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE QUOTE I CHOSE. HMMMMM.

He turned around in his seat and gestured at the kitchen table, on which rested a medium-size square canvas. From the underlying design, Adam recognized it as one of the ones that Ronan had elected to squirt paint over rather than completely mutilate, but it was getting harder and harder to make that distinction. Matthew was methodically covering every inch of the canvas in a gentle, chrysanthemums-at-sunrise yellow.

“You’re repainting one of Ronan’s canvases?” Adam asked in surprise.

Matthew shrugged. “He said he was having trouble with his happiness assignment. I thought this might help.”

Adam looked at the bag of food in his hands, at the serene smile on Matthew’s face, and at the yellow canvas. For the first time, he understood why Ronan had such a soft spot for Noah Czerny.

If I could, I would give Matthew a very, very long hug. He’s trying to bring a little bit of sunshine into his brother’s life by literally covering one the canvases from the happiness assignment in yellow, because that’s the only thing he can do for him at the moment, and in a way, that’s heartbreaking, too.

Next chapter: What in the World Is Going through Ronan Lynch's Head

Is this going to hurt? AM I GOING TO CRY AGAIN?

This chapter killed me and made me realize how much I'd missed this little universe and Anya’s gorgeous writing. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT’S GOING THROUGH RONAN’S HEAD.

[ashnadir]

thisbrutalbelle:

[ TEXT ]: Oh my god, you said ‘desperate bird to play catch up’ a confusing array of words but you definitely said bird, perhaps in your old age you are getting forgetful of even things you can scroll up to read. [ TEXT ]: Ah see, Nokia, can you even scroll on those things? Does Nokia even exist anymore? [ TEXT ]: You were like the only person that didn’t like Isaiah. I mean, I guess perhaps that is one of the many reason I like it when you like who I like. So I’ll accept liking Miles in the context of me. [ TEXT ]: Yeah, calmer in that way. Plus less people go to prison. Honestly, I don’t even know what we do with criminals. 

          Bella recalled earlier in the year when she had been taken more locally by the vampiric twins of murder estate or whoever the fuck they had been. Ephram and herself were not on good terms but when he had told her not to kill them she hadn’t. But she also hadn’t seen them about and certainly they hadn’t tried to kidnap her again. Part of her wanted to say so, feed Iann’s conspiracy theorists mind, but Bella wasn’t sure how well Iann would cope with all of that.

[ TEXT ]: I think we’re all a little irrational more than once in a while. Besides, now we know it’s definitely not irrational to think people are reading our emails or watching or phones or whatever the hell they did. I’m just not terribly worried about a Sheriff’s Department in an isolated town run by Ephram.  [ TEXT ]: I know it’s not technically your business, it’s even my business that he’s a cop and I’m friends with him. Just please be nice. You and Lilo seemed like you were friends now so obviously you can do it. [ TEXT ]: Yeah, do you have yours?

         It was a weird turn in conversation and he wasn’t wrong, Bella had only spoken about what happened with Miles so far. Part of her suspected she’d eventually have to talk to Ephram about it since she saw the missing persons flyer that had been put up. Bellamy had no idea how Ephram had a picture of her from when she was a teenager but suspected she may have jokingly sent him a bunch at one point her mother had given her. 

[ TEXT ]: Do you think it’s dangerous to have it? [ TEXT ]: Seven? If I had snuck out when I was seven my mum would have gone off her head. Ten or eleven? Why were you still peeing the bed then? Aww, Pa, that is so sweet of a nightmare, aww. [ TEXT ]: I mean, I didn’t weirdly promise ‘in a year all things shall be grand’ or anything, ew. I just told you I wouldn’t be so shit to you and I don’t think I am nearly as shit to you. Even given recent events. [ TEXT ]: Thank you, Pa. All credit to you and Teddy. I should give you both medals that say ‘Made Bellamy Less of a Bitch.’

[TXT] BID I said BID! I read it 1009 times and it definitely says bid, little girl.  Don’t sass when you’re the one who needs vampire glasses!  jajajajjaaaaaa #WhosOldNow

[TXT] who knows.  If a Nokia smartphone exists I’m sure Freddie will find it for me.  Last phone that Penny’s group destroyed was a Samsung but I’m #OverIt

[TXT] hashtags are a thing you put at the end of sentences now to make them all sound like #WittyRemarks and #SoundBytes

[TXT] I just #LearnedThem

[TXT]  I’m not calling you an idiot for liking the guy, Belle, but he was a stupid sad sack, for no reason.  his ‘I’m trapped in America’ whining

[TXT] YOU’RE A FUCKING WEREWOLF.  HUMAN ARBITRARY BORDERS MEAN NOTHING.  He just wanted to come off as #TheSaddest. #ICallFake.

[TXT] What would you do if Miles had to arrest me? 8DDDD

[TXT] I’ll be nice to Miles, he’s done nothing wrong.

[TXT]  but FYI me and Lopez do not like each other or get along except when Pegs is present.

[TXT] nah it’s fine.  

[TXT] tbf I didn’t go anywhere. I went down the road and then I came back.

[TXT] because boys develop later? idk why I peed the bed still when I was 10. I just did.

[TXT] a ‘sweet’ nightmare...only you, Belle

[TXT] I don’t want a medal, unless you paint yourself gold and I can wear you around my neck.

Still Going || Iann&Bella

[kyubicled]

Daphne Greengrass scenes from SpaceBattler ashez2ashes’ “What’s Her Name in Hufflepuff : Chapter Sixteen, For The Love Of Turtles”

What’s Her Name in Hufflepuff is written by ashez2ashes.

The excerpt below is quoted directly from the Space Battles Forums.

This story can also be found on Fanfiction.Net.

____________

I own noting quoted down below. I figured I’d liven the Daphne Greengrass hashtag by promoting something I truly enjoy. ~ @pompadourwampus​

____________

I hadn’t given up on making a friend in Slytherin.

I’d been biding my time, waiting to catch one of the Slytherin girls by themselves. Together, they seemed to reinforce each others racism (magicism? there’s probably a better word for it). But if I’m able to get one of them by themselves. I could try starting a conversation with them. Then if she talked to me one on one it would be harder for her to think of me as “other”. She’d be forced to see me as a person probably. And if she was by herself and decided to curse me I would only have to block one curse instead of several. I could definitely take one random little girl. So it was with that mindset that I stalked Daphne Greengrass like a stealthy jungle cat all the way to the bench in front of the lake. She had a large book in front of her and was reading intently. And most importantly, she was alone. Daphne Greengrass was the epitome mysterious. She was one of those people who was only a name in the books. She was very quiet in class. I had yet to see her speak up or stand out at all. Currently, her ice blue eyes were riveted to her book. “Hi!” I piped up from behind her expecting I might startle her. Daphne, however, didn’t move an inch. Slowly, she put her book on her lap. She then carefully shut the cover and turned toward me. Her face betrayed no emotion as she looked at me. “Oh, It’s a Hufflepuff,” She said in an even emotionless tone. “Hi, I’m Kasey. I’m in your year?” I held out my hand for a handshake. Daphne looked at it. Seconds ticked by as I held my hand out. Stubbornly, I kept my hand out and a full minute went by before Daphne slowly… went back to reading. I awkwardly put my hand in my pocket. “So um, what are you reading?” I asked. She had a pretty large tome. “A book about turtles,” Daphne replied without looking up. Turtles? Well I wouldn’t have guessed that. I blinked and pushed ahead. “Uh, okay. Is it good?” “Yes. Because it’s about turtles,” Daphne replied in a monotone voice still not looking up. “You like turtles?” I asked awkwardly. “Yes, that’s why I’m reading a book about them,” Daphne replied without a hint of sarcasm. I’m… really striking out here. Is she messing with me? I can’t tell… “What’s your favorite turtle?” I asked. I know nothing about turtles. I didn’t realize life would ever require me to know anything about turtles. I accidentally ran over a turtle once with my car because I thought it was just a rock, but I don’t’ think that tidbit would be helpful in this conversation. “The Green Sea Turtle,” Daphne stated and turned a page in her book. “Uh, what’s go great about that particular kind?” I rocked back and forth on my heels nervously. Soft snow had began to fall and the grounds were eerily quiet. No one else was around. The cold January wind had kept most people inside. It took her nearly a minute to reply. “We both have the word green in our names,” Daphne finally stated with her perfect poker face. Seriously, that girl could win some poker tournaments. I think she’s for real… Or is this a genius way to torture the friendship seeking Hufflepuff? Maybe I need to change tactics. Ask a more personal question. “Do you have a pet turtle?” Turtles weren’t technically on the approved pet list, but I’ve noticed several kids sneaking in nonstandard pets. Professors looked the other way as long as it didn’t cause trouble (or was a secret animagus death eater). “Yes.” Daphne blinked… slowly. “Uh, what’s his name?” “Turtle.” This time I had to take a long pause. “You named your turtle… turtle? Why?” Daphne shrugged. “Because he’s a turtle.” I think I may drown her in the lake soon. What else do I know about turtles? Uh, I think I’ve watched a nature documentary about sea turtles on the beach once? “Have you ever seen them hatch on the beach?” Daphne shook her head. “No.” A Hufflepuff never gives up! Accept my friendliness already damn it! “What’s your favorite thing about turtles?” I asked. The word ‘turtles’ is starting to sound weird. I think I’ve said it so many times in a short period that it’s starting to stop sounding like a word. “They taste delicious.” My eyes widened. “You’re going to eat your pet?!” “No. Why would I do that?” I took off my glasses for a moment and rubbed my eyes trying to ward off an impending headache. “Cause you said they were delicious?” I asked hesitatingly. Daphne finally looked up from her book. “You’re strange.” I’M STRANGE?! Daphne titled her head at me looking me like I was a strange bug. But only a mildly amusing bug. “They also have pretty shells.” I laughed nervously. “Oh well, that’s true.” “For making jewelry out of,” Daphne added seriously. I stared at her face, but I got nothing. She might as well have been a store mannequin. If I knew Legilimency, I would have read her mind then and there, moral consequences be damned. “Are…” I trailed off, swallowed, and then gathered my nerves again. “Are you serious?” “Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked in her monotone voice and perfect God-level tiered poker face. I stared at her, dumbfounded. Daphne went back to reading her book. A few minutes passed by. I gaped like a fish, my mind just going blank. Finally, I gathered my wits about me and did the only thing I could do. “Nice talking to you. See you later!” I waved goodbye and got the hell out of there. She didn’t look up from her book as I left.

You win this round, Daphne Greengrass.

—-

Not a Daphne scene, but it sets up the punchline? —- It was getting a little stuffy in here, but outside was a world of embarrassment where I acted like an idiot. It wasn’t even that I acted like a real eleven year old. I spent the afternoon acting like an eleven year old that was also an idiot. “It… it wasn’t that bad?” Eloise said unconvincingly. I groaned. The stupid potion had made me a melodramatic moron, but it hadn’t done anything to my memory. “I told McGonagall I was sorry she was old!” Maybe I should have just taken the zero… No, screw that. I didn’t want the zero either. Fuck you Snape! Was the potion petty revenge for my role exonerating Sirius? Or just coincidence? Hannah pulled at my covers trying to pull them off me. “You weren’t the only one being disruptive. Professor McGonagall made Jonathon stand in the corridor because she said the lights were giving her a headache.” That was true. Jonathan had kept flashing red and green like a Christmas light. “I think it helped that you followed it up with a bunch of compliments on how she didn’t deserve to deal with so many mean kids,” Eloise unhelpfully suggested. I curled into a ball under the covers. Susan laughed. “Sorry, I was going to renew the Silencio, but I got distracted with the Transfiguration assignment. The hilarity potion hadn’t worn off completely either so I was a little out of it too.“ Hannah scratched her head. “You sure it’s not in your system a little? I’m still a bit itchy.” Susan giggled. “Maybe… But the expression on McGonagall’s face when you said you were sorry she was an old maid is something I will always remember.” I tried suffocating myself with my pillow. Hannah yanked the covers from me. Cool hair hit my overheated body. I dragged myself up with a groan and leaned against the headboard. My face was still sore from all the crying. I bet I look like shit. “There, now I can take a shower without thinking you’re going to suffocate.” Hannah walked off to the bathroom and shut the door. Susan picked up her school bag and walked out of the room, probably to do some homework. That left me and Eloise alone in the room. Eloise’s was putting some kind of cream on her face. The poor girl’s acne had gotten worse again. Surely, wizards had come up with a cure for acne by now. Although, in canon the only thing Harry had even known about Eloise was that she had really bad acne. You’d think by fourth year she would have dealt with it if she could. Maybe there wasn’t a wizard cure for acne? Eloise slowly rubbed the cream into her skin while holding up a hand mirror. Her gaze seemed a million miles away though. “Is something wrong?” I asked quietly. Maybe she’d tell me now that we were alone. Eloise looked up, startled. “What? Oh no, everything is fine.” Everything was obviously not fine. Ugh, I feel like her mom. “If you change your mind about wanting to talk, I’m here to listen.” I grabbed my library book from my bedside table and settled down to read a little bit before bed. The Wonderful World of Turtles was a fairly thin muggle book. I could probably finish it before I went to sleep. The library had a decent number of muggle books. I guess wizards have no reason to write their own books about non-magical creatures. I had also picked up another book on curse detention. I really want to start looking looking through the Room of Requirement for awesome stuff, but I didn’t want an important body part to rot and fall off after I touch something cursed. Are you ready for conversation this weekend Daphne Greengrass? Because I will be. We shall talk about stupid turtles and become friends. Then there will be representatives of every house in Spell Club. We’ll blaze a new trail of school unity, mending age old divides. Just wait and see. I got about fifteen pages into The Wonderful World of Turtles (spoilers, it wasn’t wonderful; it was boring as shit) when Eloise turned to me and said quietly, “Please don’t ever cheat for me again.” ——– Round Two Miss Greengrass! I found Daphne Greengrass this time on a bench in the southern courtyard. She had a blanket around her legs and was reading a book again. Now that I think about it, she probably came out here in the middle of winter to get away from people. There are plenty of warmer places she could have gone. I’m feeling kind of bad about stalking her all the way to her quiet reading spot… But I’m here already and I read that whole boring book about turtles so I’m not giving up. “Did you know, that the Green Sea Turtle is the only species in the genus Chelonia?” I asked from behind Daphne. Daphne didn’t startle at all. In fact, she didn’t even turn around. “Yes.” Daphne stated evenly. I came around to the front of the bench. Daphne was still looking down at her book. “It’s too bad they’re endangered huh?” Daphne turned a page in her book. “For now.” I raised an eyebrow. “Uh for now?” Daphne’s gaze flicked up to me for a fraction of a second. “The muggles are killing them… for now.” A chill went down my spine. That sounds… ominous. Even said in her monotone voice. I sat down on the bench next to her. “Are there magical species of turtles?” “Yes.” Damn. The book I had gotten had been just about regular turtles. I pulled the hood of my cloak up. The icy wind really bit into you. “Uh, what are they?” “Greengrasses,” Daphne stated. You know, the wind doesn’t seem to be bothering her at all. “Oh, like your name then?” I shivered. It was freezing out here. Is her blanket enchanted? Daphne gave me a small barely perceptible nod. “Yes. My family raises them.” “What do you use them for?” I asked curiously. “They’re fast.” “Do you race them?” I imagined a group of turtles running so fast they made little dust clouds. “No.” Daphne actually looked up from her book at me. “You’re weird.” If I’m the Duchess of Weird then you’re the Queen. “It was a reasonable question!” I rolled my eyes. “Then what are they used for?” “Their powdered shells are used in potions and broom production,” Daphne stated and then went back to her book. “Those also have the word green in them. Why aren’t they your favorite?” “Because they don’t live in the sea. They live in the grass.” I blinked slowly, feeling my blood pressure start to rise. “Have you ever thought about racing them?” “No.” Daphne turned a page of her book. How is she talking to me AND reading that book? “Why not?” Daphne shrugged. “They don’t want to race.” I laughed. “How do you know?” “They said so,” Daphne said. I went silent for a full thirty seconds, sure that I had heard her wrong. “You can speak to turtles?” I asked surprised. Although, I don’t know why I was so surprised. There were lots of random magical talents out there. I really should get a book on them. Hmm… or she’s just screwing with me. I. Can’t. Tell. “Yes,” she stated like having a rare weird magical ability wasn’t a big deal. And maybe talking to turtles wasn’t as big a deal as being a parselmouth. There probably hadn’t been too many turtle themed dark lords throughout history. “That’s interesting. Can you speak to anything else?” I asked wondering if it covered other amphibians. “No.” “What do they say?” I asked. Being able to talk to an animal would be so cool. Harry never really did take advantage of being a parseltongue. “Feed me.” My eyes widened. “That’s it?” “Or 'Feed me more’.” I slumped. “Oh.” Daphne shrugged. “They’re turtles.” Well, reading that boring ass book had been a waste of time. There was probably no topic you could bring up about turtles that would be interesting to someone that could literally have conversations with them. But surely, her whole entire life can’t revolve solely around turtles. “So uh… do you like anything other than turtles?” “Rocks.” I resisted the urge to rip my hair out from the roots and run screaming into the forest. “Uh, like in jewelry?” “No.” I nearly started crying. Do I even want her in the club anymore? Because then I’d have to see her every week… “What…” I sighed. “What kind of rocks?” “Igneous, Sedimentary, and Metaphoric rocks.” A vague memory of a college geology class flitted through my mind. “Isn’t that… all the kinds of rocks?” “Yes.” I stared at Daphne. She stared at her book. Several minutes went past. The only sound in the courtyard was the wind whistling through the castle. Something inside me broke and I got up and walked away without saying another word. There has to be another Slytherin I can ask to be in the club. One that cares a lot less about turtles. Daphne Greengrass was the most boring girl I had ever met.

[nooneaskedyoulauren]

“Oh dear god... TWO blog posts from this bitch today? Is she serious?”

#sns

(that’s shorthand for ‘sorry not sorry’ for the layman)

“That is not what that hashtag means.”

Hashtags are what you make of them.

“Whatever.”

ANYWAY. I’m going to rattle on and on about how I feel like a *bit* of an outsider living as a single, straight, unmarried, childless, educated woman in a predominantly Christian area of the Midwest now so if you don’t wanna read that shit, go on and git! I’m sure Fox News has a story on right now that would interest you.

I’ve had a number of conversations over the past few weeks with an assortment of people that really just got me riled up about this, so here it is:

The MAJORITY of my peers have already or are actively seeking “the settle down”. I think that is wonderful however I also wish it was not soooooooooooooooooo socially unacceptable to want something else.

MOST of my friends are married with children, and if they aren’t, they are actively seeking that very situation. MOST people actually put a ton of mental and emotional energy into finding that for themselves.

If you were to somehow quantify that energy, condense it into a singular unit of measure, and then multiply it exponentially by infinity, that would be the amount of effort I put into getting OUT of that very situation.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

To be totally honest, I’m not *entirely* sure, but it is disheartening to know that something must be wrong because it is different.

Having a family is a wonderful thing. It’s also a wonderful thing if you can recognize that perhaps that’s just not the dynamic that you are going to thrive in and then make the conscious decision to not put yourself through that.

“You’re not even dating anyone. You’ve been single for so long. Are you sure you’re not a lesbian?”

That’s a valid question. Let me think about it. Do I want to have sex with women? Nope. Also, I’ve completely fallen in love with a number of great guys! They couldn’t deal with me/weren’t interested/don’t care. I respect that! Moving right along!

“No man is going to want you anyway if you aren’t willing to bear his children!”

I just want to be clear that it is I who is the one uninterested in someone coming at me with the demand that I produce children for him like some kind of person factory. I know that’s “how people work” but I feel like there are PUH-LENTY of folks covering that, some wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more than even necessary, so there is absolutely no need whatsoever for me to jump in with any assists.

“You’re too irresponsible! You need a husband and a kid or two to keep you in line!”

It has been my experience that people get kind of pissed when they can’t control their partner, male or female. I don’t know how or when that became a thing, or if that’s “just life” and I didn’t notice it when I was younger, but I grew up in an exceptionally controlling household and as an adult? Not. Gonna. Work. For. Me. I have this thing called self-discipline and a cell phone with a built in alarm clock. I’m not a zoo animal missing my keeper. I’ve actually never been happier and healthier NOT having someone in my face/space dictating to me what I should or shouldn’t be doing at any given moment. I’m actually aware of what I need to be doing. Worry. About. Yourself.

“Your business is stupid! Why don’t you want more for yourself than part time work right now?!”

First. Of. All. That part time work takes a lot more mental energy and time investment than you’d realize. I also had to get an advanced degree in order to secure that gig. As to my stupid business... have you personally pulled something that you just made up out of thin air right out of your ass, kept it going for almost a decade, and helped bring some of the most wonderful people you’ve ever known’s visions to actual, physical life?

“Well, no, I mean...”

Yeah. Exactly! Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

“Well you’re going to end up homeless (again) and you’re just too flighty and unorganiz...”

Excuse me again. We all make mistakes. That’s how you learn. Also, do you set clear, defineable goals for yourself on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis and then achieve them? Do you make your personal physical and emotional health and wellbeing a priority that you consciously tend to on a daily basis? Do you actively forgo wants in order to make sure your needs are met? Have you even clearly defined what your needs even are?

“Well, no... I mean... You’re crazy!”

Ok.

“You will fail. You can’t just do whatever you want.”

That second part is true if what you want to do is harming others. If what you want to do is minimize your expenses, live a healthy life for yourself, and work towards personal goals that will have you building something that will benefit you and others in an exceptionally positive way. Well, you only fail when you give up.

I tried giving up before and it didn’t stick so here I stand.

ALSO: If one more person approaches me with the sob story about their own life being a disorganized mess with an expectant look like I am thier personal savior in which to help manage them... I’m sorry. I’ve made that mistake during my nieve youth previously. It panned out pretty fantastically for the other person but my life was uprooted in the most upsetting of ways. As I mentioned, absolutely no interest in raising a child. Also, lesbian women and married men wanting to cheat behind their spouse’s back: I won’t be switching teams and Hoes before Bros, sorry.