#because anything else i add is going to be incoherent sobbing
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A list of a few neurodivergent behaviours I've been known to do.
A Simple Wardrobe Me: All of my clothes are black and I have multiples of everything because trying to coordinate an outfit with colors and textures and patterns is just exhausting and not something I want to deal with when I get up in the morning. Or ever.
Infodumping Me: Can I talk to you about the different varieties of image file formats and data compression, the companies that made them and why, and their particular uses over the history of the internet? No? Oh. Okay.
Darmok Moment Neurotypical (discussing a character in a recent show): His attraction to her got complicated once he discovered she was a villain. Me (referencing a show you've never heard of): Ash. Her symbol tattooed over Stone's heart. Neurotypical: What the fuck?
Sensory Input Good Except When Bad Me: Sound is awesome! I fucking love sounds! [hears ASMR] Me: MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!!!!!
Can't Directly Answer A Question Neurotypical: Did you do the thing? Me: Okay, so ⊠Neurotypical: Stop. Just stop.
Reassure Me Me (feeling insecure): I'm not being a bother am I? I know sometimes I can be a lot. Friend: You're fine. Me (not feeling very reassured by that noncommittal "You're fine."): Are you sure? Because I've been known to drive a lot of people away with my constant⊠[etc]
Speaking Is Overrated Me: Sign language is awesome because I can communicate and stim at the same time! Stim-com! Neurotypical: Please use your words! Me: Fuck you! Learn sign language.
Music Lover Me: I've listened to this album 62 times in the last five days, and I'm about to listen to it a 63rd time.
/s Neurotypical: [uses sarcasm] Me: [takes it at face value]
Expressing Emotions Friend: Someone very dear to me recently passed away. What I'm supposed to say: I'm so sorry. What I'd rather do: [WAIL AND SOB AND GNASH TEETH AND POUND FISTS TO THE GROUND AND SKY AND YELL INCOHERENTLY BECAUSE SOMETHING VERY TRAGIC HAS HAPPENED TO A FRIEND AND THIS IS WHAT FEELS EMOTIONALLY APPROPRIATE EVEN IF IT'S NOT SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE] What I actually do: [go completely stone-faced and not say anything]
Time Management Me: I can't get started on this project because I need to be somewhere around five minutes or twelve hours from now and I don't want to be late.
Working On Projects Me: I don't wanna draw the work art. I wanna draw the play art. Neurotypical: But it's all drawing, right? Me: [wiggle defiantly]
Realizing This List Is Getting Long Me: I should probably stop. Me: Oh wait, I thought of something else to add!
Relating To People Neurotypical: And then she just walked away like nothing had happened. Me: Oh yeah. It's like that time when I... Neurotypical: This isn't about you. Me: But I'm trying to relate to you by describing a similar experience I had. Neurotypical: Well stop.
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A Tirimasu and a Strawberry shortcake pretty plase!!
[fem reader]
(Content warning!! Rough sex, a single slap to the ass, spit, begging. idk what else to add. I'm sorry if I missed anything!)
Wet slaps and a tangy aroma fills the air. Dark-colored sheets are bundled in your hands. A rough hand has your head shoved into the bed, damping the bed linen from the tears and saliva streaming down your face. Heavy merciless thrusts meet your hips, shoving you further into the mattress, while writhing and jerking under him. Body flushed against the edge of the bed, legs dangling off the side, a harsh slap lands on your ass. Bucking your rear up as a squeal leaves your lips, a strong hand quickly pushes your body flush against the bed, giving Alessio a better angle to lunge his cock into the depths of your cunt. Mind hazzy, all you could do was lay there sobbing and mewling into the sheets. Being able to do nothing but take the onslaught of his insatiable hunger like his own personal cock sleeve. All you could do was whimper out incoherent words towards Rishen in his spidersuit.
"Rishen please"
"Can't you take my spot for 5 minutes?!"
They both know you don't want it to stop any time soon.
"Fuck papi"
"Please keep going"
"Harder please!"
(This is my first time kinda writing smut, I tried very hard for it to be kinda good!! Does Alessio like being called papi? Since I have been sending a good amount of asks lately, may I be the đ anon please?)
âč ÛȘ àŁȘ ᄫᥠearth 928b rishen o'hara & alessio arias
ËËËê°đ„ê± spider monster x reader, hero x reader, mercenary x reader, immortal x reader âč ÛȘ
does alessio like being called papi?
youâd find that out quick, because with every utterance of the name heâs tugging on your hair and fucking into your weeping cunt faster. amplifying wet slapping sounds. purposefully making sure that his balls are grazing and grinding against your poor little clit from the angle heâs pounding you in.
âsuch a good fuckinâ slut for papi yeah? oh youâre crying? huh you little slut?â heâd say as he curls his hand around your chin and throat to yank you up. so that your back arches and your ass perfectly flushes against his pelvis. giving him just the right position to ram you senseless. with your breasts bouncing with every hefty thrust.
âangh, a-ahhh- papi wait - papi slow d-down â keep going, keep going please,â heâd mimic your whining noises with his own, raspy voice box. mocking croons that turn into a sneer as his free hand lowers to spank your ass once more. âmake your damn mind. you want me to fill this cunt up till itâs all messy? you want a break? or am I just fucking you so dumb that you donât know anymore? patĂ©tico.â
and oh, your pathetic little whines and loud moans do not make it any easier for rishen, looking down at you with heated eyes so full of desire. doing just about everything to keep his maroon eyes on you â but itâs so hard whenever he sees the way alessioâs slick dick is moving in and out of you at the pace it is.
his own slew of rasped out moans tearing their way through his throat as he feels alessioâs hand rubbing at the hard bulge through the tight fabric of his suit. âf-u-uhnh-ckk â alessio - al-ahâ ahh ah, p-please â g-god, fuck her a little harder â come on you can take it cielo - you can take it â uhnâ heâd gasp out, bucking his hips into the mercenaryâs hand every time it went to rub at him.
âyeah â watching like a fucking slut, practically fucking leaking from your cock, i can feel the wet spot in your suit.â and all while alessio is whispering into rishenâs ear as he fucks you full over and over, his hips piston into your clenching hole, a loud groan emitting from his throat as you squeeze around him just perfectly and has him shooting hot strings of cum inside of you all over again.
âfu-uh-uhnh. thatâs it â thaaaaaatâs it, yeah, take this fucking cock â uh-huh, be a good slut for papi. una puttana cosĂŹ brava, cosĂŹ fottutamente sexyâ
#âč ÛȘ àŁȘ ᄫᥠdaydreams â alessio 781ê±#âč ÛȘ àŁȘ ᄫᥠdaydreams â rishen 781ê±#teratophillia#teratophillia smut#terato#asterism reader insert#spider monster x reader#spider monster oc#hero x reader#antihero x reader#antihero oc#mercenary x reader#mercenary oc#smut#monster oc#monster x reader#monster boyfriend#oc x reader#monster boyfriend x reader#confessions
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Ravio Marchand â local merchant, family man, and husband of the Hero of Legend! Also featuring an obligatory Sheerow
I love LiWiAU Ravio so much, y'all have no idea Iâll yell some more about it in the tags dw
Thoughts and bonus doodle under the cut, and a shout-out to @astrolabe-blade for lending an ear in the character development process â€
Ravio is one of those characters that I first encountered in fan content, and I've never really been able to stray all that far from that. As a result, I really don't know how much remains of the original character, beyond the name, the occupation, and the general appearance. Still, I care a lot about him, and I hope you'll all also enjoy him
originally from Lorule â his mother was a herbalist, his father made wicker-baskets, and their garden was frequently visited by birds;
this was the garden Sheerow, a blue-and-white sparrow-like bird hatched in one autumn, and Ravioâs mother took great care in nurturing Sheerow through the winter â Ravio loved playing with Sheerow, and always claimed to be able to speak telepathically with him;
for reasons currently unknown, Ravio and Sheerow do, in fact, speak telepathically with each other;
when Ravio was six, his parents died, and he ended up on the streets â he made a friend who introduced him to Mamie, and older lady who Ravio views as a grandmotherly figure (Mamieâs also Mitchiâs biological great-grandma);
when Ravio started working for Hilda, he used his income to buy Mamie and red-and-purple woollen shawl that, later, was passed back to him (see the illustration above);
trans (ftm) â found appropriate resources to transition once he moved to Hyrule (has only had top surgery), but is on bad days still insecure about his waist, hips, and thighs;
enjoys being the care-taker in the household, but worries that itâll make him appear less masculine in other peopleâs eyes;
knows more or less everything about Legendâs adventures, and helped Legend through the rocky period post-Koholint (Iâve fiddled around with the order of Legendâs adventures, but Iâll talk more about that in the post about Legend) â heard about Marin before he knew anything about Koholint, and was secretly furious with her for the state Legend was in (these days heâs accepted that some part of Legend always will love Marin, and come to enjoy hearing Legendâs anecdotes about Koholint);
works as a merchant at âLinkâs Orchard and Ravioâs Magic Itemsâ (a small shop-expansion to Legendâs cottage), and crafts enchanted items for sale and renting â so far, heâs created a magic boiler for bath water, and heâs considering inventing a magic washer and a magic broom (essentially the equivalent of a washing machine and a vacuum cleaner);
travels for a few weeks every summer, together with Legend, to trade all over Hyrule and Lorule;
when I write Ravio, I tend to imagine a softer less-dramatic version of Howl from Howlâs Moving Castle, with some added flavour;
to distinguish between Hyrulean and Lorulean, Iâve decided to use French as a place-holder for Lorulean (French!Ravio was an idea that occurred when I saw @guardedchildâ âs wonderful colouring of this RavioLink illustration);
Ravio calls Legend âmon lapinâ (trans.: âsweetheartâ, â[my] bunnyâ) â beyond three months of French in high school, Iâm not as familiar with the language as Iâd like to, so this is purely what Iâve learned from Reverso and some deep-dives in dictionaries (if any French-speaking person thinks I got it wrong, please let me know);
Ravio and Legendâs interactions, under normal circumstances, are definitely that flavour of flirting thatâs thinly veiled as almost-scathing banter;
Ravio firmly believes thereâs a tea for any situation;Â
his favourite dish is Mamieâs cassoulet (a savoury bean stew);
bought matching mugs for himself and Legend once (oneâs pink, the otherâs purple, and they both have bunnies painted on them);
half his clothes have apple blossom embroideries thanks to Legend (whenever Legend takes his shirts/tunics, itâs always a tossup between âLegend just sort of forgets to return them and wears them casually around the cottageâ and âLegend returns them covered in embroideriesâ â either way, Ravio doesnât mind);
Ravio knew very early on that he liked Legend, but kept it to himself because of Marin â at first just because he didnât know who she was to Legend, and then because he assumed Legend was still grieving her;
Ravio and Legend got married the day they started dating (itâs a rollercoaster, and the entire 16,000-and-some words of Ch. 2 of Out of Time is about this);
Ravio marks all the items he sells with a watermark/trademark/yâknow what I mean (I canât remember the actual word for this in any of the languages I know rn, but see the doodle below);
knows Warriors from the War of Eras, and is essentially best friends with Linkle (she knows everything about Ravio, Legend, Mitchi, and Fable, and Ravio knows everything about Linkle, Warriors, and their Zelda) â Malonâs later included in this little group, and the three of them are inseparable;Â
Ravioâs very proficient with his hammer (which he may or may not have placed some enchantments on) â Legend doesnât know this yet, but heâll find it very attractive when he does, and might have a minor existential crisis over it;
Ravio has copied the bracelet he gave Legend, so both of them can travel between Hyrule and Lorule
I probably have more thoughts about him (and his interactions with the others! especially Hyrule!), but this post is already long and detailed, so Iâll leave it here for now
Bonus doodle of Ravio's branding/trademark/thing (the line below the bunny hood is supposed to be some kind of writing, probably saying something along the lines of, âMade by Ravio Marchand, Hyrulean merchant and enchanterâ):
#ravio#liwiau ravio#links winter au#albw#you've all probably heard about trans legend#but may i propose#trans ravio#the merchant moved into my head and now lives there rent free#i might have projected some of my Gender Thoughts on him#i just want him to be happy and soft and in love#and still a little bit of a bastard#he's just ... i love him so much?#he deserves the world#and i'm not above giving it to him#i'll end my tags here#because anything else i add is going to be incoherent sobbing
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Who?
javier peña x reader
This is pure smut (with a little fluff at the end because I canât resist). During the pursuit of recreational pleasure, you accidentally call Javier something new.
This is an NSFW blurb for female reader with Javier Peña of Narcos. This work contains smut and mature language and should not be read by those under 18. As a writer, I will attempt to make accurate warnings for each of my fics, however, I cannot guarantee that I will identify each and every sensitive topic. My works regularly contain swearing, allusions to/mentions of sex, and canon-level violence.
Warnings Include (but are not limited to):
Lots of pet names
dom!Javier Peña
dom/sub dynamics
Dirty talk
Unprotected P in V sex (donât be silly, wrap your willy)
Established FWB relationship
Daddy kink (title only)
Creampie
Please read at your own discretion and consume your fanfiction responsibly.
You babbled incoherently as Javi fucked you from above. His hot breath fanned your face as he pounded into you ruthlessly. Heâd hooked one of your legs over his shoulder and the new angle was finding spots you didnât even know you had.
âSuch a good girl, takinâ it for me like this, princesa,â he purrs, one of his massive hands coming to squeeze your tit, the other firmly gripping your hip in a way that you know thereâll be bruises tomorrow.
âAh, fuckâŠJavi,â you cried, clawing for him, needing to feel him over every inch of you. He happily obliged, changing the angle yet again and throwing you even deeper into bliss.
In all your confused pleadings of, âpleaseâ and âmoreâ and other half-formed words, you almost missed it when it slipped past your lips.
âShit, daddy. Feels so good,â you panted, clawing at his shoulders.
But then he stopped completely, halfway inside you, and looked at you with his brow furrowed.
âWhatâd you say?â he asked, searching your face as if he could find the words there.
You stuttered and tried to hide your face in the pillow, but he was persistent. The hand that wasnât holding his weight up off of you came to cup your jaw, forcing you to face him.
âPrincesa,â the word rolled off his tongue so smoothly, âWhat was that you called me?â
âIâŠI called you daddy,â you confessed, your face burning in shame, tears building at your waterline. Javi and you had the kink conversation fairly early in your âmutually beneficial recreational partnershipâ as youâd dubbed it, but you never brought up your daddy kink. It was so niche and youâd never met anyone else who was into it. Besides, itâs not like Javi needed anything else to add to his toolkit. He already made you cum faster, harder, and more often than any other partner before him, a fact he was very proud of.
His face softened, and he smiled. âOh, bebita, you could have told me.â
You gasped as he pulled nearly all the way out before filling you back to the hilt.
âJust needed daddy to fuck you dumb, eh?â he grinned as he resumed his earlier pace, his hand slipping from your jaw to wipe a tear that slipped from your eye.
You nodded, brain going to mush when he called himself daddy. That combined with the sight of him above you, sweaty and gorgeous had your orgasm building even faster than usual.
âWho fucks you this good?â he growled in your ear, hand returning to your hip.
âYou, daddy!â you all but sob, tangling your fingers in his hair and tugging the way youâve learned he secretly loves.
âFuck, thatâs right. This is my pussy, bebita.â
âOnly yours,â you nod in agreement, so close to cumming already it burns like a white-hot coil inside you. But try as you might, your brain couldnât function well enough to string words together to warn him.
As if Javi didnât already know from the flutter of your walls around his cock to the way your bit your bottom lip and whined so lowly that if he wasnât listening for it, heâd miss it over his own heavy breathing and the sound of skin on skin.
âGonna cum for me, princesa?â he asked, his thumb moving to where it could rub hard and fast on your clit.
You nodded furiously, barely able to do even that before the dam broke and every muscle in your body was tensing and relaxing in careful coordination. Some part of you was aware that words were still coming out of your mouth, but you had no clue what it was you were saying.
It was Javiâs voice that brought you back, low in your ear. âSolo papi te folla tan bien,â he growled.
As you came down from your high, Javi was still chasing his, but he did remove this thumb from your oversensitive nub, giving you a touch of reprieve. You tugged on his hair once more and pressed lazy kisses to the line of his jaw.
Finally, he came, thrusting hard and not stopping until every last drop was fucked up into you.
Javi rolled to the side, thick arms bringing you with him so he could keep you close without crushing you under his weight.
âShit, where were you keeping that, princesa?â he huffed a laugh, brushing some stray hair from your face.
You curled into his shoulder, trying to hide your embarrassment, âI didnât think youâd be into it.â
âHey,â he captured your chin in one of his rough hands, placing a kiss to your lips before pulling back to look you in the eye, âYou can call me whatever you want, bebita, as long as you keep making those pretty noises for me.â
#javier peña#javier peña smut#javier peña fluff#javier peña x reader#dom!javier peña#dom!javier peña x reader#dom!javier peña x sub!reader#javi peña#javi peña smut#javi peña fluff#javi peña x reader#dom!javi peña#dom!javi peña x reader#dom!javi peña x sub!reader#javier peña x reader smut#javi peña x reader smut#javier peña x reader fluff#javi peña x reader fluff#narcos#narcos fic
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hi!! iâm so excited to see a blog that writes for death note, itâs become a recent hyperfixation of mine and i canât find any good fics!!! đđđđ
could you provide some nsfw content for L? any is fine really, hcâs or a full drabble if youâd like!! iâm desperate for L content lol đđ
YES oh my god of course đđ deathnote is one of mine too (i rewatch it like once a week) n L is my major comfort character. i did a kinda cross between a drabble and headcanons for this! I hope itâs what you were looking for <333
CONTENT WARNING: smut (MDNI, 18+), female-bodied reader (gender-neutral pronouns), fingering, begging, mild pain kink, overstimulation, L being .. himself and also mildly obsessive, voyeurism (read: L is a creep misa was right), slightest bit of dubcon if you squint, masturbation, pillow humping, dom!L and yes i will die on this hill, sub!reader, L is actually a little mean in this one, dacryphilia, thigh slapping, fluff at the end if you squint, let me know if i need to add more!
i.
being physically intimate with L was something you never really considered when you first got together. you werenât even sure sex was something that was on his radar; he had so many other things to think about, and physical pleasure seemed like something he didnât pay any mind to.
and you were rightâ for the most part. itâs not something L ever stops to consider. itâs not that heâs necessarily disinterested, itâs just never been a priority. he usually just takes care of himself when the urge arises.
with you here, though, itâs different. heâs not alone anymore, and your own desires are something he assumes he needs to factor in, and as many times as you assure him that itâs completely okay if he doesnât want to have sex, that you can take care of it yourself and itâs a nonissue, heâs still . . . curious.
heâs seen you before on the monitors; those times late at night when everyone else has gone to bed and you forget thereâs cameras everywhere, that he can see everything you do. he watches you as youâre spread out on the shared bed he rarely sleeps in, slipping your fingers in and out of your little cunt, your mewls and soft whines carrying through the speakers and shooting straight to his cock. he wonders if itâs wrong to watch you like this, but even as he ponders if misa amane was correct, that he is a pervert, he still doesnât tear his gaze away from the screen. there is the possibility you hadnât forgotten about the cameras at all. perhaps you wanted him to see.
he doesnât say anything, less to save you any possible embarrassment and more because heâs found that a subject is least genuine when they know theyâre being observed. itâs human nature, he knows, to alter yourself beneath the lens of others, to hide, and he doesnât want that. this is a side of you he hadnât considered might existâ an obvious oversight, and one he aims to correct.
that was how L always was. he loves you, yes, you can say that confidently. but as quiet and soft-handed a man as he is, his love is not simple, nor is it gentle. like him, itâs invasive and relentless. itâs not uncommon for you to feel somewhat neglected, or that perhaps he forgets about you altogether, but he never does. in fact, itâs quite the opposite. you are just as much a fixation, a complex puzzle to be torn apart and examined as any case, and rarely does a minute go by in which he doesnât think of you. itâs perhaps not as romantic as you might like, with his owlish gaze pinned on you whether through a monitor or when youâre sitting next to him, picking apart every detail, but you canât say he doesnât pay attention to you. sometimes, you think he pays too much.
when he finally touches you, itâs no different.
he watched for weeks before he broached the idea. the hours you spent trying to satisfy yourself, with your hand between your legs or rutting desperately against a pillowâ yet you never seemed truly satisfied. it was obvious in your expression, face screwed up cutely in obvious distress, frustrated tears welling in your eyes and streaking prettily down your flushed cheeks. you could only ever take two of your own fingers, he noticed; youâd tried more a few times, seeming to find your own two small ones dissatisfactory, but you could never quite make it, leaving you in a painful limbo that always has you in a particularly sour mood the next time he speaks with you.
the more he watched, the more he realized how truly unsatisfied you were. one night, you spent thirty minutes rocking against your pillow, and despite the wetness that darkened your pretty panties, you eventually gave up, tossing the ruined pillow away from you with a small, frustrated shriek. he wondered why; and more still, why he suddenly found his own hand unsatisfying, and why he could only curve his own thoughts with ones of you on the monitor, spread out prettily.
it was horribly distracting, really. and with anything else, L had to make sense of it.
in the end, he ends up with more questions than answers.
itâs not his fault, really. itâs yours. youâre so fascinating to study, and so eager to let him learn. youâd been so utterly pliant as he pried your thighs apart, stuttering out reassurances that he didnât have to do this, asking over and over if he was sure. he doesnât bother to tell you that this wasnât for youâ he wouldnât be able to think properly until heâd gotten his answers.
thereâs none of the awkward hesitation you mightâve expected, no unsure fumbling of hands or knocking teeth. no, L is sure of this as he is anything else he studies, tearing it apart as he sees fit until heâs satisfied with the conclusion. youâre no different, and heâs just as relentless as he always is.
thereâs a certain desperate edge to it when he touches you, like heâs trying to tear everything from you by force. he watches you squirm beneath him, mewling and pleading incoherently as the walls of your pretty cunt spasm around his fingers for what feels like the thousandth time (it would seem you can, in fact, take three), and the only thing he can think of is how many more youâll be able to give him. surely this isnât your breaking point? no, he knows better, that canât possibly be it. you can take more, and he tells you so, deafened to your mindless babbling and choked sobs as you try to push him away.
itâs strange that you do that. you get so upset when he actually does pull away:
he has to pin your hands down eventually; clawing at him the way you are is only a hindrance, and it reduces his overall effectiveness significantly. fortunately, you seem to learn quickly, responding especially well to a sharp slap to your inner thigh. (he isnât sure if itâs a carrot or a stick, given the way you clench around his fingers when he does it. regardless, it works, so he does it again).
it really only occurs to him to stop when your body seizes again, this time falling entirely limp, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. he mightâve worried, but your eyes flutter open only a few seconds later, and itâs then that he considers that you might be rather exhausted.
âare you alright?â his voice is quiet, hoarser than normal, and uncharacteristically gentle. he cocks his head at you, the puppy-like gesture such a stark contrast to the delightful hell he was inflicting on you only moments before that you canât help but giggle tiredly.
at your assurance that you arenât on the verge of collapse, not anymore at least, he takes time to clean you up, his touch feather-light and familiar in its softness. he lets you cling to him, winding his awkwardly long body around you in a sort of cradle, tucking your head beneath his chin.
he counts the minutes until you fall asleep, measuring your breaths against his own. as much as he enjoys tearing you apart to see whatâs inside, thereâs a strange satisfaction in putting you back together again.
this is my first published smut i apologize in advance.
#iâm so sorry i went a little feral#not betaâd or edited we die like men#đ.poppedcherries#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet smut#l lawliet x you#death note x reader#death note smut#death note x y/n#l is so weird iâm sorry
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A-Z NSFW Alphabet | Shinsuke Kita
Pairing: Shinsuke Kita x f!reader
Word count: 4.3K
Warnings/contents: Sex, strong language, variety of kinks, 18+
Notes: N O B O D Y can change my mind that this man is a soft-dom. Iâm dying on this hill. With that being said, I hope you agree with that statement and like this post đ
In all of my NSFW posts, all of the characters are 18+! If you would like to see my growing list of other Haikyuu boys whenever I add them, you can follow {this link} to my masterlist!
<>~<>~<>
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
Kita is an aftercare god. He takes such good care of you by getting you into the shower, changing the sheets, putting your blanket in the dryer so that itâs warm when you get into bed, fluffing the pillows up, making sure that you have water on your bedside table, and showering with you if you wanted him to. He would wash your hair and back, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while the warm water slides down your bodies for a few minutes as he softly massages your shoulders. He would help you get dressed, carry you around, and hold you close while he strokes your hair and you try and sleep
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
Theirs: He likes his hands. He knows that theyâre a bit rough, but theyâre also large and always warm enough to warm your chilly hands. He can grope at your chest with his hands, hold your hands in his, cup your face in his hands, and be able to feel you close to him and hold you all because of his hands
Yours: Heâs always really liked your breasts. He likes to see your cleavage, and donât even get him started on when youâre wearing a shirt with no bra and he can see your nipples. He likes to watch them bounce while heâs fucking you. He also enjoys slapping them a little bit to make them bounce and shift inside of your shirt when youâre not wearing a bra. Kita also really enjoys sucking on your nipples and licking up your cleavage while he pushes them together with his hands
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
For the most part, Kita likes to cum inside of you. He doesnât necessarily care for watching his cum slide down your legs like some of the characters, and he doesnât really care for cumming on your stomach either. Even if the sheets are being changed, he doesnât care for making a bigger mess, especially on your body. However, on the rare occurrence that you would slide Kitaâs cock between your breasts, he would cum on your chest
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He would really like to have sex with you at the beach. The distant sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks, the sounds of the city at night, just the two of you alone in the sand on a blanketâ kissing, feeling each other, pleasuring each other. But heâs never pursued this thought because the beach is a very public area and who knows what might happen. However, if you were to bring this up, it wouldnât take much convincing on his end
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what theyâre doing?)
You were Kitaâs first ever experience. The two of you took things slow and careful, with lots of questions from him and asking for your guidance to make sure that he knew what you liked and didnât like. He would make sure that you were okay with different things that he tried, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or put you through any pain. He talked with you beforehand to ask about some things you liked so he could hone in on those skills and learn how to make you squirm and squirt around his fingers. He has a very good memory and it didnât take him long to perfect his skills in the bedroom because heâs very vocal with you
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Heâs always loved missionary. He likes to look at you squirming beneath him and seeing the faces you make as you reach your orgasm around his cock. He likes the ability to kiss you whenever he wants. He likes looking into your eyes and being able to lean down and whisper how much he loves you in your ear. He likes being able to pull back a little bit and watch your breasts bounce along with his movements. He likes to moan in your ear and have you moaning in his while you bury your face into his shoulder. And he especially likes when you wrap your legs around him and keep his body snug against your own. Occasionally he likes to pull back and bring your legs up onto his shoulders. He likes this because he can see even more of you and he still has the ability to lean down to kiss you if he felt like it
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Kita is somewhere between serious and humorous. He likes to make you laugh. He doesnât want sex to be a serious thing that you canât still enjoy each others presence in and laugh about silly things like bonking your heads even after how many times youâve been in bed together. However there are more serious moments where the two of you stare into each others eyes, Kitaâs hand holding your own down on the bed as he pushes himself inside of you, but even the serious moments are very loving. There isnât a time of any day that you arenât reminded that Kita truthfully and very deeply cares for you
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Nowadays, Kita shaves it all off completely. For a long time he only trimmed it, but one day while he was in the shower he thought that if he was going to be trimming it so short, he might as well go ahead and shave it. He mainly only wanted to see what it would feel like against his clothes, and not to mention you, if he was fully shaved down, and he realized how much better it feels without the hair. He keeps himself very clean, very frequently
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
Kita is a very romantic, sweet man. He treasures you above all else, praising you with kisses pressed to each part of your body, a soft tone that makes your heart race and a gentle gaze that makes your cheeks flush hot. He never lets you go a day thinking he could love you any less today than he did yesterday, and he never makes you feel like he wonât love you the same tomorrow. Kita has never once disappointed you, and he doesnât plan on starting now
J = Jerk off (masterbation headcanon)
If he ever needs to get off that badly that he canât merely ignore the boner, he has no objections to taking care of the issue himself. He doesnât like bothering you with sucking him off, however he might occasionally see if you would want to have phone sex. However there is never any pressure because he really can take care of the boner himself
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Light teasing: (Explained further below)
Praising: Kita is constantly praising you. Whether it be for how good you suck on his cock whenever he rarely says yes to you sucking him off or youâre in 69, how good you taste, how cute you are squirming for his tongue and his fingers, how cute it is that youâre so wet and ready for him, how well you take his cock, how good you feel when youâre clenching around him, etc. He also calls you many sweet things in bed. His favorite names to call you are: âBabyâ and âMy love,â but Kita will also call you â(His) Good girlâ sometimes softly in your ear. Heâll call you one of these names while he gently caresses your cheek, telling you that youâre so pretty when youâre taking his cock inside of you
Daddy kink: Heâs definitely into being called daddy, but he also wouldnât ask for it. It was something that he didnât know he was into until one time the two of you were having sex and it slipped out of your mouth. He wasnât expecting it and had stopped in shock, asking you what you had just called him. You were extremely embarrassed, but he couldnât stop thinking about it for the rest of the night. In that moment, he simply caressed your face and whispered soft assurances that it was okay and that he didnât mind it, and that you could call him that if you wanted to, but it was something he grew fond of very fast
Very light dumbification: Heâs only into this in the sense that he enjoys fucking you until youâre unable to think of anything beside him and how good he feels inside of you. Sometimes heâll whisper something about how you seem mind-numb around his cock, but he wouldnât be mean about it. His tone would be gentle as he caressed your cheek, calling you his cute little baby and asking you a question to hear you mumble out an incoherent answer. He loves it when your moaning gets messy and incoherent because then he knows that heâs done his job
Light edging: Kita doesnât really deny you of what it is that you want and what youâre craving, but he does know when to edge you once or twice before he lets you reach your orgasm because itâs going to make it feel that much better when you do finally cum around his fingers or down into his mouth. It leaves you panting and feels much better than when he just gives it to you. Besides, he canât lie, listening to you beg for him to let you cum on your own free will makes his cock throb
Squirting: He loves to make you squirt. He enjoys seeing how much he can make you squirt back to back. Once he got the hang of how to make you gush, he started to do it every single time that you were in bed together. He likes to edge you a couple of times and then make you squirt several times in a row. He finds it fascinating to watch, and he also knows that it feels good for you. He really likes it when you squirt around his cock because you squeeze tighter around him and it makes both of you feel good
Overstimulation: Thereâs nothing more that Kita loves than overstimulating you. Than hearing your moans become a sobbing, incoherent mess. Than feeling your pussy clenching and gushing around his cock until you have nothing left to give him. Than feeling your nails in his back until your fingers are numb and thereâs red scratch marks on his skin. Than kissing you sloppily until youâre unable to focus on the kiss and get too lost in how good it feels. Than having you fall asleep quickly in his arms afterwards because youâre exhausted, clean, and satisfiedâ just like he always intends on leaving you after sex
Clothes: Kita loves to fuck you while youâre wearing his shirts. He thinks that you look so cuteâ so small in his large shirts, especially the dress shirts that he has. He can leave it unbuttoned on you, this way he can watch your breasts bounce while heâs inside of you and still have the satisfaction of you wearing his shirt. Itâs a little reassurance that youâre all his and his alone, especially in the moment. Because your mind isnât anywhere but him, and he knows thatâ and in return his mind isnât anywhere but you
Soft dom: He is a very gentle man. Everything that he does, he does it gently with you. He wouldnât ever want to hurt you more than how he stretches you out, and when it comes to thoughts of degrading you or calling you a whore, he doesnât get off. Heâs gentle, soft, and loving. Even when it hurts, he tries to take things slow and gentle with you, being as caring as heâs always been. Heâs a sweetheart and he loves to praise you. He likes to see you smile when the two of you are in bed, and hearing your laughter only makes it better. He wouldnât get off to being mean to you or hurting you in any way
Service dom: Kita gets off on getting you off. He wouldnât care much for you sucking his cock, instead wanting to bury his face between your legs and making you squirm and moan beneath his touch for hours. He would do anything that you liked, within reason. He wants to make you as happy as he can. You would never leave that bedroom unsatisfiedâ that he makes damn sure of
Somno (sex on a sleeping/sleepy person): It isnât the most frequent occurrence, but sometimes Kita likes to rub your clit or finger you gently while youâre sleeping to hear your sleepy moans. He would also love to wake you up on the weekend mornings with his face already between your legs. He usually only does it on the weekends, but if you happened to be having a wet dream on a weeknight, sometimes he canât help himself from pressing a few kisses along your neck and starting to finger youâ especially if you were to moan his name in your sleep
Lactophilia: I think that if you had Kitaâs baby, he wouldnât mind at all still sucking on your nipples while you were breastfeeding. He would massage your breasts for you when they were especially tender, watching some milk drip from your nipples and being fascinated by the sight. Heâd be curious about how it tasted and ask you if he could taste it, and it just became something that happened sometimes. When youâre in missionary and breastfeeding, he would play with your nipples to make some milk squirt from them
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
#1: Kita likes to have sex in the bedroom above all else. Itâs comfortable, close to the bathroom, warm, and he likes to keep pillows beneath your head while the two of you are having sex so that he knows youâre nice and comfortable. He would never let your head hit the wall more than once, if that. Heâs a very observant man, and if he thinks that youâre too close to the wall, heâll put a pillow behind your head for extra assurance that you donât bonk your head
#2: Kita really likes shower sex. It isnât as frequent nor would he try and have sex with you every single time that the two of you showered together, but say that the two of you were to finish in the bedroom but you were both willing to go a little longer, he would have no objections to fucking you against the wall. Kita would get down on his knees and eat you out while the warm water ran down your body, and he would actually really like it when you suck on his cock in the shower sometimes
M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)
Knowing that youâre feeling good is what makes this service dom happy. Itâs all he really needs to keep going, hearing your moans and having you tell him that it feels good drives him wild. He loves it when youâre more vocal because itâs extra assurance that you donât feel pressured into having sex with himâ especially when heâs the one who initiates it. He likes to make you squirm beneath him, often times reaching down and rubbing at your clit if you were in the right position
N = No (something they wouldnât do/turn offs)
Kita wouldnât do anything too harsh. Very gently degrading you by calling you a slut or a whore (only if you asked him to) would be the worst that he would do. Kita is not into the idea of hurting you, so even if you were into it, he wouldnât slap you and only gently slap your ass sometimesâ but itâs a rare occurrence because in the moment he isnât thinking about wanting to slap you
O = Oral (preferences in giving/receiving, skill, etc.)
He is very good at oral and he loves to do it. He likes to suck on your clit and finger you until youâre squirting around his fingers and soaking the bed. He also enjoys teasing you with his tongue, eyeing you as he laps at your entrance and occasionally pushing his tongue inside of you. But his favorite thing to do would be edging you once while heâs between your legs and then making you squirt a bunch. He likes it when you pull on his hair and tighten your legs around his head before you reach your orgasm. Another thing that Kita loves is when you sit on his faceâ not to suck his cock, but so that he can suck on your clit and massage your breasts while he watches your face
It isnât very important to him if you were to suck his cock or not. He wouldnât ask for it, and often times would turn you down if you were to ask him if he wanted you to suck it. Heâs all about pleasing you, however if you were to not ask and get between his legs, he wouldnât turn you down. He would hold your hair back so he could look at you, softly moaning and telling you that it feels so good. He really likes how warm your mouth is around his cock, but he canât wait to get back to pleasuring you again. A good option for him is 69 so that you can suck on his cock while he eats you out, but itâs another thing he often times turns down and tells you to turn around when you sit on his face and go to lean down. He would really like to feel your breasts against his body while he eats you out though
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He always takes it slow and gentle with you. He gives you as long as you need to adjust when heâs inside of you, making sure that youâre comfortable with the position and on the bed before he starts to slowly move inside of you when you tell him that he can. He makes sure that youâre wet enough and he always has lube on hand to make things easier if heâs struggling to get you to a point he deems worthy. He doesnât want to hurt you in any way, so he takes things very slow and heâs always very sweet
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Kita is not really a fan of quickies. He likes to pleasure you, he likes to get you soaked and ready for him. He doesnât like to strip off all of your clothes and push himself inside of you right away, he likes to take things slow. He likes to slowly undress you and occasionally slide his own shirt onto you. He likes to kiss and suck on your neck teasingly while he gently rubs at your clit to make you wet. He likes to take his time, he doesnât like feeling rushed when it comes to pleasing you. However, something he would make an exception for would be if you were in the kitchen after the two of you had already been touching each other on the sofa. He would not mind slowly fucking you while you leaned over the counter while dinner cooked
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He might be willing to try a few new things with you, though nothing too extreme, and if either of you werenât comfortable with the idea, itâs always easily considered dropped. When the two of you are trying new things, heâs always very vocal. Talking to you and making sure that youâre doing okay, that it isnât hurting you and that youâre liking it so far. If he senses that youâre uncomfortable, he would stop and ask if you were okay immediately instead of waiting it out to see if you were just adjusting to the new sensation. Most of the time, the two of you stick to what you know
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Kitaâs stamina is pretty impressive. He can go about 3-4 rounds depending on the night, eating you out between rounds to give himself a break and to continue pleasuring you until you were an overstimulated mess around him. If you were really in the mood and werenât done, he could push himself and go 5-6 rounds, but afterwards he would be dead exhausted, and typically the 5th or 6th round happens in the shower so the two of you can get a head start on getting clean
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He isnât really big on the idea of using things in the bedroom. He likes the way things areâ getting you off with his fingers and tongue. Heâs proud of the way that he can make you gush around his fingers, and dare he say that itâs given him a bit of an ego. He doesnât really want the help of a vibrator to make you gush. He thinks he can do it just fine on his own
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Kita doesnât tease you much, only edging you once or twice. He likes to give you what you want. Making you happy makes him happy, itâs always been that way. However he thinks that it is adorable when you beg for him because you donât have to and heâs going to give you what you want even if you demand it. He wouldnât stop you from begging if thatâs what you wanted to do, but he wouldnât make you either
V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)
Kita is very vocal. His moans are typically soft and right by your ear. Heâll give a few scattered grunts and soft groans, though his moans are pretty low and from the back of his throat. His sounds are very consistent in the way that even when heâs cumming he doesnât get too much louder and his moans donât get high or whiny. He also talks to you a lot, making sure youâre feeling good, praising you, etc. He likes to keep decently quiet so that he can hear you because itâs something that both gets him off and helps him know that heâs doing good for you
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Kita is a big cuddler. He loves to curl up with you on a rainy day with a good book and just read together. He likes to hold you close every single night in bed. After dinner, the thing that heâs most excited for is to curl up with you on the sofa and watch something or just talk about your separate days. He likes to lay on his back at night and have you laying on your side with one of your legs around his waist, his hand on your thigh and your hand on his chest, softly tracing patterns over his night shirt before you fall asleep with your hand flat on his chest. You relax him after long, stressful days and he only hopes he does the same for you
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
Kitaâs dick is pretty thick and it stretches you out well. His cock is around 6.6 inches long. Kita is a very clean man, shaving and taking care of himself to make sure that he smells fresh not only for you, but for himself as well. He shaves his balls quite frequently as well. He is also pretty healthy, so his cum wouldnât have a distinctly gross taste to it, and because itâs so rare that you really get that much in your mouth, it always shocks you by being sort of sweet. Kita is good with his cock, knowing just how deep to push it inside of you at what pace to make you lose your mind around him
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
His sex drive truthfully isnât very high. He would have sex with you whenever you asked, however he would only initiate it maybe once or twice a week. Both because he loves to simply curl up with you and enjoy a nice quiet night together where you talk to each other about your new interests and how each others separate days were, but also because he doesnât want you to think that heâs only in this for your body. As much as he does love having sex with you and he loves pleasuring you, Kita would never want you to feel like anything less than the love of his life and more of a sex object
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He doesnât fall asleep until you do. He has no trouble staying awake if youâre struggling, and heâll do anything he can to help you out. Whether that be getting a small snack because youâre hungry, making you some tea, humming to you and softly rubbing your back while you curled up in his warm arms, or getting up with you to make some tea to help you sleep. Heâd whisper sweet words about how much he loves you, sometimes listing off things he loves the most about you before you fall asleep. Heâll also massage your head to help you sleep if you wanted him to, and he loves to hold hands while youâre sleeping together
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu x reader smut#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu smut#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu shinsuke kita#shinsuke kita#shinsuke kita x female reader#shinsuke kita x reader#shinsuke kita x reader fluff#shinsuke kita x reader smut#shinsuke kita fluff#shinsuke kita smut#shinsuke kita headcanons#shinsuke kita imagines
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ayoo let me get fucked by akaashi and kuroo at the same time :3
HAHAHAHA omg what I love about this pairing is that you just know Kuroo will be like a hyperactive kitten while Akaashi is just there wondering what the hell heâs gotten himself into regretting all his life decisions. BUT the fact that he still gets a taste of you makes it all worth it even if Kuroo does annoy the shit out of him.
Warnings: NSFW, Degradation, Dirty Talk
You giggle and squeal as Kuroo suddenly hoists you up and throws you over his shoulder, playfully slapping your ass as you lightly make a show of pounding your fists on his back before extending your arms and making grabby hands at Akaashi. The editor sighs, staring at your childish antics with a deadpanned expression, but heâs always been weak for you and he lets you excitedly grab his hand and allows himself to be dragged along after the two of you.Â
Kuroo throws you on the mattress so hard you bounce back and you wildly flail, only to let out a quiet grunt as a tall lean body pounces on you none too gently, letting his body slump and go limp on top of you, jokingly suffocating you and playing dead as you laugh and attempt to shove him off to no avail. But luckily your savior with blue eyes is there to rescue you and you smugly smirk at a confused Kuroo whoâs now staring wide eyed at the two of you from his new position on the floor, courtesy of a hard shove from the ex-setter.Â
You loudly moan, emphasizing your hand motions and the arch of your body as you pull Akaashi into a kiss, sighing blissfully as your lips lock, letting him take control as he sensually explores your mouth, hands gently running and caressing every inch of your body as he carefully helps you remove your clothes. And Kuroo pouts, feeling left out and forgotten, only to open his mouth in disbelief when you briefly turn to look his way and stick your tongue teasingly out at him before turning your attention back to the man currently holding you.Â
But both of you startle when thereâs a sudden additional weight on the bed and you whimper as a hot wet tongue licks and bites down the side of your neck, calloused hands punishingly pinching your nipples.Â
âThat wasnât very nice of either of you.â
Akaashi scoffs, half a mind to say something snarky right back at the messy haired man, but heâs distracted, attention focused solely on you once again as Kuroo wrangles more and more pained and pleasured moans from you as he continues to mark up your skin, and he coos, tenderly kissing your slack open mouth. Â
âIs Kuroo being mean? Want me to make you feel better?â
He doesnât wait for a response, fingers already drifting down to your inner thighs and you clutch at Akaashiâs shoulders, eyes rolling and head falling back on Kuroo as the editor gently circles and rubs your clit. Itâs so much, the delicious fire burning in your stomach from the stimulation of both your clit and nipples mixed with the electrifying jolts from every nip and harsh tweak Kuroo laces his touches with. But itâs not enough and before you know it, youâre pleading for more.Â
And how could Akaashi deny the hazy lust in your eyes, the way youâre desperately humping down on his hand, the slick pooling between your thighs?Â
Itâs embarrassingly easy for him to slide a finger inside of him and he smirks as he quickly adds a second finger, curling his fingers leisurely as he takes in how overwhelmed you look from just a couple of digits, drool beginning to trickle from the corner of your pretty mouth, your pussy tightening around him with every filthy word Kuroo growls in your ear.Â
âLook at you, kitten. You already look like a dumb broken slut from a couple of fingers. How are you going to take both our cocks?â
Your breath hitches and Akaashi groans as you clamp down on his fingers at those words, pussy growing even wetter and he nudges a third finger inside of you.Â
âYeah, you like the thought of that? Want to be stuffed full of cock? Of course you love that, you little whore. Our little whore.âÂ
And thatâs all it takes for you to come undone and both men groan as your body convulses and thrashes between them, Akaashi continuing his stimulation of both your drenched pussy and your clit, Kuroo tenderly kissing the back of your neck as he continues rolling his nipples between your fingers.Â
You let them help you ride out the waves, letting yourself get lost in the sensations until youâre trembling, whimpering as it borders too much. And you give both of them a loopy grin as they smile fondly down at you.Â
âThereâs our silly slut. Welcome back, sweetheart. Ready to keep on going?â
Keep on going?Â
You gasp as something hard nudges at your sopping wet pussy, your nails digging into Akaashiâs shoulders as he slowly bottoms out inside of you, sinking into the sweet kisses and encouragements Kuroo peppers you with. Youâre so full, deliciously full, and as you adjust to the cock inside of you, you can feel arousal flaring up inside of you once again.Â
âKei-Keiji, please fuck me, please fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, FUCK!â
You scream as the normally reserved man seemingly snaps, and suddenly itâs all you can do to hang on as blinding pleasure drowns you with every thrust of Akaashiâs hips, sobbing in pleasure and surprise at the feral pace he sets. But a foreign touch reaches you through the fog and you weakly turn your head, whimpering when Kuroo catches your lips in a kiss as he continues to trace the rim of your puckered hole with lube covered fingers.Â
âYouâre going to be good and take both of us together, right?âÂ
And you barely get a chance to nod before he pushes one knuckle inside of your tight hole, chuckling at how your mouth opens impossibly wide as you gasp and silently scream.Â
He takes his time, almost painstakingly so, and youâre a writhing, desperate mess as you cry and beg him to hurry up, sniffling when all he does is just scissor his fingers inside of you, adding an obscene amount of lube. But he slyly grins when he finally hears what heâs waiting for, hears you lewdly and explicitly begging for his cock.Â
âWhat a fucking cock slut.âÂ
You donât even feel embarrassed at his words, just giddy and deliriously happy and relieved when he finally slides his cock inside of you and both men groan, cocks twitching at how you wantonly smile, looking like debauchery itself, and they swear they can see your brain melting in the mix of drool and tears leaking down your face.Â
And you wouldnât be surprised if your mind was broken, it certainly feels like it as both cocks plunge in and out of you, Kuroo matching Akaashiâs break necking pace.Â
Your breasts bounce from the force of their thrusts and youâre so close, stumbling on the edge once again, unable to think of anything else except cocks and cumming, incoherent slurred words and sounds slipping past your lips. All it takes is Akaashi once again reaching down between your legs and Kuroo biting down hard on your shoulder to have you crashing and you wail as you fall apart, dragging both men with you as your walls clench and milk them dry.Â
You feel like jelly as your trembling body is gently laid down, still drowning in post-coital bliss, and your heavy eyelids flutter as your body tries to sink into slumber. But you blearily blink your eyes, a questioning hum as something swipes down your leg and your face heats in shame when Kuroo grins at you, cum on his fingertip and suddenly youâre all too aware of how sticky your inner thighs and pussy feel, obediently and shyly letting him stick his finger in your mouth and sucking it clean.Â
âGet some rest while you can, kitten. Because weâre doing this all over again as soon as you wake up. You have two other holes I want to test out.â
Kuroo yelps when heâs roughly shoved out of your line of vision and suddenly blue eyes are kindly gazing at you.Â
âIgnore the idiot. Get as much rest as you need.âÂ
And youâre quick to listen, eyes almost instantly closing and dozing off as the two men quietly bicker in the background while cleaning you up and tucking you in bed.Â
#haikyuu smut#kuroo smut#akaashi smut#kuroo x reader#akaashi x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu fic#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#Kuroo#Kuroo Tetsurou#akaashi#akaashi keiji#haikyuu x reader
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don't stop, said she
rating: E (nsfw, 18+ only)
pairing: eren x mikasa, snk
summary: ... He likes seeing her like this, spread out on the table in front of him, naked and breathless. (pwp)
a/n: this is written for eremikasmutweek2021 (on twitter), and really, its an excuse to a) indulge in horny EM and b)practice writing smut - this was the result of a 1h writing sprint
(ao3) / pt 2 / pt 3
He likes seeing her like this, spread out on the table in front of him, naked and breathless.
What he likes even more is her squirming, squirming under the restraints of the rope that ties her ankles to the legs of the table, pulling against the ties that restrain her wrists above her head.
She isn't used to being unable to do anything physically, and it wracks her nerves. She shows her discomfort (with her lack of control) by the way she struggles, hands pulling, breasts thrusting in the air, as her gray eyes watch him in anticipation and helplessness.
He's spent so many nights with her (with her body), lost in their passion, but he appreciates this new dynamic, this powerplay... likes watching the lines and curves that make up Mikasa Ackerman.
He watches the pretty flush rise on her neck as she attempts to raise herself and make eye contact. "This is a bit tighter than I imagined, Eren," -
Thereâs really no point to anything she might say, that she can't move, or that sheâs frustrated, he can see it, and he enjoys it, so instead he cuts her off and says, â... Did I ask you to get up?â
â... I, I canât see you from over here,â and it's true, she can't, because she's spread on her back on the wooden table, legs and arms firmly restrained, and even straining to look at him where he stands is a task.
âBut I can see just fine.â He pauses, his eyes darkening as he traces a finger across the inside of her thighs (she shivers) â... and thatâs all that matters, right?â
His fingers move almost carelessly, flitting across her folds. He's barely touched her, but he can feel her heat, her wetness, dripping down her legs. â... Youâre leaking on to the table, Mikasa,â he smirks, green eyes clearly enjoying the embarrassment on her features. â... Iâm gonna have to make you clean this up, later.â
He thrusts two fingers into her without warning. The honest, surprised, and ashamed cry that escapes her lips, makes his mouth water. He is torn between finishing this play, between enjoying the torment of the woman in front of him, completely at his mercy, and just giving in to the desire to consume those little pleas with his mouth.
He moves leisurely as she gasps, little broken cries of his name, setting a pace that was deep, but maddeningly slow. â... Open your mouth,â he murmurs, and he traces the two fingers that were inside her on her lips, and watches as her tongue peeks out of her own volition. She licks them shamelessly, and without deliberate sensuality (because Mikasa never needs to try) and he feels his breathing quicken.
He leans over and kisses her messily, despite himself, because he canât help himself after the show that heâs witnessed, and he can taste the tang of her juices along with her passion. She kisses him desperately, because this is the most contact sheâs had with him, and she wants more than just his fingers, she wants all of him, and she tries to tell him, with her mouth and her body. âEren,â she gasps, attempting to press her bare breasts against him, â... take off your pants, please,â - and he squeezes, hard, â... I want to feel you.â
â... So greedy,â he murmurs, as he steps back from her and resumes his position at the end of the table. âBut we agreed, didnât we?â He spreads her legs further, appreciating the sight between her legs, â... it isnât about what you want. And me... I just want to taste you.â
Her complaining settles down into a soft gasp, as Eren touches her with his tongue. First on the outer folds of her lips, and then inside, probing, tasting and licking. When he comes up for her air, sheâs panting and the rope around her wrists have begun to mark her struggles.
(Despite her outward struggle, there's something about her own obedience, about pleasing eren, that pleases her)
He licks his lips, wiping away the mess sheâs made on his face. â... Please,â she whines, and he takes a finger to press on her sensitive spot, applying the pressure he knows she likes.
âPleaseâ, he mocks, â... What are you pleading for, Mikasa?â He doesnât get an answer from her apart from incoherent panting, eyes shut, and head tilted back in pleasure.
Cruelly, he withdraws his fingers, knowing fully well the tell tale quiver of her thighs, the needy rasps of her voice were only signalling how close she was.
â... Eren,â she gasps, involuntary tears brimming at the corners of her eyes, at the loss of pressure (pleasure) from his fingers. â... Why did you s-stop,â -
âYou didnât answer me, Mikasa.â
Squirming, trying desperately to rub her thighs against each other for some friction (she forgets her restraints) she can barely recollect what he asked of her.
âI asked what you were pleading for,â he says, sounding completely displeased. â... I guess I shouldnât take you seriously after all.â
âIâm sorry, Eren,â she whimpers, âplease, come back.â because sheâs losing her mind, she canât see him, where he stands, but all she knows is that heâs impossibly far away.
â... Come back, where?â
He watches her hesitate, test her words carefully, â... where you were before⊠please.â
â... Hmm?.â
â... Where you were touching me, Eren⊠You know what I wantâŠâ
He's supposed to be the one in control, but itâs insane the effect a breathless, whimpering Mikasa has on him. Heâs been straining within his pants for a while now, and on any other day, he would have shucked his pants off, and sheathed himself within her tight wetness hours ago.
And even though he does know what she wants, he knows it really well, he wants to test her limits, wants to test his own control, so he says firmly, â... Youâll have to spell it out for me, Mikasa.â
â... Touch me, Eren,â she sobs, gray eyes hazy and unfocused, âTouch my pussy, please.â
âGood girl,â he breathes harshly, â... Youâll get what you want.â and he does what she wants, what she likes, the circular motions on her clit that always manages to get her off⊠but only for the briefest moment. He thrusts his fingers into her again, because he cant help himself.
She cries out, desperately, his name or a meaningless plea to some god, he isn't sure, because heâs way too focused on just how easy it is to slip inside her by this point, how there isn't even any pretense anymore, because thatâs how wet and dripping she is. For him.
He quickens the pace, setting a punishing rhythm this time, because he wants her to open completely for him, wants her to let go and feel nothing else but his fingers deep inside of her.
She doesn't take too long to cum on his fingers, noisily but prettily, her whole body shaking on the wooden dining table. He watches her quietly, enjoying the sight of her juices glistening down her pussy and her thighs.
When her panting settles into a more consistent rhythm of heavy breathing, he asks, dryly, â... enjoyed that, huh?â Heâs still hard and wanting, but sheâs probably sore, so fucking her would have to wait.
â... Mmm, untie me,â she murmurs, and as an afterthought, she adds, â... please.â
He chuckles, walking over to untie her wrists first, and then her ankles. She slips off the table awkwardly, and because she can barely find her balance, she stumbles into Erenâs arms, naked and sensitive. â... That was nice,â she mumbles, pulling him down for a kiss. She presses herself against him, against his chest, and running a hand against the length of his hardness.
Eren stills, catching her hand in his path. â... Distracted already? I was serious about you cleaning up the mess you made on the table.â
She colours immediately, â... I will, but donât you want toâŠ,â -
And oh boy, he wants to, but he keeps his firm expression and says, â... what I want, is for you to clean the table, Mikasa.â He leans down and brushes his lips against her sweetly.
â... with your tongue.â
a/n: welp, not my best, but im practicing. feel free to give me feedback!! i am having complicated emotions to my writing nowadays, it feels lacking, so i promise to take all comments constructively!
#eremika#eremika smut#eren jaeger#mikasa ackerman#liquorisce fanfiction#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin
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hey hey, could you write buck and eddie in a car accident with hurt!buck and love confession from eddie? thank youu
Hi! Thank you so much for this prompt, I hope I did it justice. I really enjoyed writing this, so let me know what you think!
If you have a prompt for anything surrounding 911 on Fox send it to me and I can almost guarantee I'll write it for you!
You can also read this on ao3!
Never Letting You Go
Eddie doesnât mean to tell Buck that heâs in love with him as the other man bleeds out. It just kind of happens.
Theyâd been driving back to Eddieâs house after a shift, Buck offering to drive Eddie to and from work while his truck was in the shop. Theyâd been joking about something Chimney had said during shift when Eddie saw a truck careening towards them, running the red light and going at least seventy-five in a forty-five. Eddie had barely gotten out Buckâs name in warning before the Jeep jolted and everything spun.
Eddie comes back to the present slowly. His vision is blurry and he tastes something metallic. Blood, his mind supplies. His ears are ringing and for a moment he canât remember where he is.
It all crashes back to him as his vision clears partially. Car accident. They were in a car accident. The jeep seems to be upright, but thereâs glass everywhere and the metal frame of the car is bent unnaturally.
Buck, Eddieâs mind screams at him. Where is Buck?
Eddie turns his head, sending a sharp pain to his shoulder as he moves.
His breath rushes right out of him when he looks at his best friend in the driverâs seat. His eyes are closed and thereâs blood trickling down his face. Too much blood. Buck isnât moving and Eddie canât tell if heâs breathing. Frantically, he tries to reach over to Buck but he canât move. Seatbelt, right.
Eddie groans as he manages to unclick his seatbelt. He extends his arms, bruised, but not broken, and sighs in relief. Heâs able to maneuver himself closer to Buck with some difficulty, forcefully ignoring the throbbing in his head and focusing on getting them out of this. Alive, preferably.
Buck still isnât moving but looking closely, Eddie can see the shallow rise and fall of the other manâs chest.
âBuck,â he says. His voice is scratchy and desperate but he doesnât care. Buck has to be ok. Heâs going to be. Eddie reaches over and puts his hand on Buckâs cheek. âBuck, come on, I need you to wake up.â Nothing happens. Eddie is panicking now. âBuck! Wake up, damn it!â
Buck doesnât respond. Eddie drops his hand from Buckâs face and his head rolls to the side. Eddie forces his knees under him on the seat so he can lean over Buck and assess the damage.
Buckâs left arm is visibly broken, but that will heal. Eddie canât see his legs, so he has no idea if theyâre broke or not. He prays that theyâre fine, Buck canât handle redoing the crush injury from the fire truck. Thereâs blood on Buckâs shirt and Eddie reaches out to pull it up. Thereâs a long gash on Buckâs abdomen, deep enough that heâs going to need stitches. Thereâs another cut on Buckâs neck. It looks like it missed the carotid but itâs bleeding heavily. That combined with the cut on Buckâs abdomen and the cuts on his head could mean that heâll bleed out if they donât get help soon.
Eddie takes off his own shirt, faintly registering that thereâs blood on it. He must be bleeding somewhere, but he canât bring himself to care right now. âBuck, please, you need to wake up.â Eddie puts the shirt on the gash on Buckâs torso and presses down hard, hoping to stem the blood flow. âBuck,â he sobs, âBuck, you have to wake up. Wake up! Buck, donât leave me, donât do this to me. Donât do this to Christopher. Please, Buck, we need you, I need you. Buck! Please, I love you, you canât die, not like this.â
Eddie is truly crying now, desperate to hear his best friend's voice, to see the light in his eyes when he laughs.
Eddie hears Buck groan right as he hears the sirens and he nearly sobs in relief. âBuck, thatâs it, wake up.â Eddie wipes the blood away from Buckâs eyes, still pressing his other hand over the cut on his stomach. âCome on, Buck.â
âEdââ Buckâs voice catches in his throat. His eyes blink open slowly, but only slightly and Eddie lets out another sob.
âIâm here, Buck, Iâm right here.â Buckâs eyes flutter closed again and Eddieâs panic is back. âHey, no, you gotta stay awake for me. Buck, open your eyes.â
With what looks like a considerable amount of effort, Buck opens his eyes. He mutters incoherently but Eddie nods. âIâve got you, help us coming, you just have to stay awake.ïżœïżœïżœ
Buck nods before groaning in pain. A paramedic runs up to the car, bag in hand being followed closely by a firefighter holding jaws. Eddie nearly passed out from relief.
What comes next is more of a blur than anything else. They get Buck out of the car first and onto a stretcher, rushing him over to an ambulance. Eddie goes next, and honestly doesnât remember much of the ride to the hospital.
Doctors rush around the emergency room as he gets checked out. A few cuts that need stitches and a mild concussion but overall heâll be fine. He asks everyone that passes him if they know anything about an Evan Buckley but no one will tell him anything.
What ifâno. No, heâs not doing that to himself, heâs not letting himself go down that road.
âDad!â Eddie whips his head around too fast and feels a sharp pain behind his eyes. Chris is coming towards him as fast as he can with Carlaâs hand on his shoulder.
âChris,â Eddie breathes out, deliriously grateful to see his son. He pulls him into a tight hug, hoping he never has to let go.
âDad,â Chris repeats into his neck, holding him just as tightly. âAre you ok?â
Eddie pulls back slightly to brush a piece of hair away from his sonâs eyes and give him a watery smile. âYeah, buddy, Iâm ok?â
Chris nods, looking unsure. âWhereâs Buck?â
Eddie chokes back a sob, looking out at the emergency room, then to Carla, then back to Chris. âIâm not sure, but weâll see him as soon as we can, ok?â
Carla puts a hand on Eddieâs shoulder reassuringly. âIâll go see what I can find out.â
She disappears around the corner, presumably to go harass some nurses into telling her what they know. Eddie helps Chris onto the bed and settles back against the pillows, holding his son close. He starts to drift off immediately, even though he knows he needs to stay awake.
âEddie, oh my god,â Maddieâs voice snaps him back to reality and he stares groggily at her.
âMaddie?â he finally manages to say.
She sighs, eyes roaming over him, obviously trying to assess the damage. âI was on my way to work when they called about Evan. The nurse says heâs still in surgery but directed me to you,â she explains before heâs able to ask.
âDid she say anything else?â Eddie asks, fully awake now and desperate to see Buck.
Maddie shakes her head, looking like sheâs barely holding back tears. âNo, she didnât. God, what happened?â
Eddie closes his eyes, fighting back tears as well. âThere was a car accident, a truck sped through a red light and hit the driverâs side. I donât remember much else, but it was bad. Iâm mostly fine, a few stitches and a mild concussion but Buckââ Eddieâs cut off by a sob and he has to look away.
Maddieâs eyes are wide when he finally looks back at her. She nods and clearly puts a lot of effort into composing herself. âHeâll be fine, he has to be. Everyone else should be here any minute,â she says softly. âChim took Jee-Yun to Mrs. Lee and Bobby, Athena, and Hen said theyâre on their way.â
Eddie nods, looking down at Christopher who is sitting silently in his arms.
âHeâs still in surgery,â Carla says, appearing around the curtain again.
Eddie nods, thankful that sheâs here if nothing else. Maddie looks up at Carla hopefully. âDid they tell you anything else?â
Carla shakes her head sadly. âIâm sorry, dear.â
Maddie nods, shrinking into herself as silence settles over their little crowd.
Eddieâs doctor comes back in a few minutes later and gives him the all clear as long as he follows concussion protocol. Eddie thanks him with less gratitude than heâs probably owed and follows Maddie and Carla to the waiting room with his hand on Chrisâs shoulder.
Bobby and Athena rush into the waiting room mere moments after the other four sit down. They both frantic as Carla waves them over.
âWhat happened?â Bobby asks, his voice desperate.
âYou said there was an accident?â Athena adds.
âEddie!â They all look around and see Hen rushing towards them. She pulls Eddie into a tight hug, looking terrified. âAre you alright? Whereâs Buck?â
âIâmââ Eddie canât get out the words. He canât say anything. How is he supposed to explain this to the people he loves, the only family Buck really has he⊠he canât.
Carla steps forward, filling them all in on what happened, Eddieâs condition, and what they know about Buck. Eddie sits silently the whole time, barely registering a word.
Chimney arrives a few minutes later and someone must explain the situation to him but Eddie doesnât hear it, doesnât notice anything around him.
They sit there in silence for what feels like hours. Dozens of people filter in and out of the waiting room as they all wait for news. Eddie sees a few people crying. Me too, he thinks.
At some point someone must have gone to get coffee because a hot cup is pressed into his hands. He doesnât drink it.
âFamily of Evan Buckley?â a female voice says. Eddie hears it distantly, not registering whatâs going on until Maddie stands up shakily.
âThatâs us, uh, Iâm his sister. This is Eddie, he was in the car with Evan.â Eddie snaps his head up and watches the doctor walk over. Sheâs wearing a scrub cap.
âOf course, well, Mr. Buckley has just come out of surgery. There was quite a bit of internal bleeding from the accident but we got him fixed up.â The doctor looks at Eddie. âThe paramedics told me you stopped the blood flow before they got there. You saved his life.â
Eddie nods, unable to say anything. The doctor gives him a small smile and turns back to Maddie. âHe has a few broken ribs, a broken arm, a pretty bad concussion, and more stitches than Iâd like to see on one patient but heâs stable. Heâs still asleep, but you can go visit him if youâd like. We just ask that you limit it to two at a time.â
âSo heâs going to be ok?â Maddie asks, a drop of hope finally seeping into her voice.
The doctor smiles. âHe should be just fine. Heâs going to need lots of rest and someone to keep an eye on him with that concussion, but heâs okay.â
Maddie sobs in relief. âThank you. Can you take us to him?â She looks over at Eddie, motioning for him to stand up. He does, on autopilot. His mind is reeling. Buck is okay. Heâs alive. I love him.
Eddie follows Maddie and the doctor down the hallway silently. The mantra of Buck is okay continuing in his head on repeat.
Maddie goes in first as Eddie takes a moment to steel himself for the sight that lays ahead.
Buck is unconscious when they walk it, although the doctor had already told them that. Heâs hooked up to a heart monitor abd a few other machines are beeping around him but overall he looks better than Eddie expected. Heâs breathing on his own, thereâs no more blood caking his face. He has bruises up and down the left side of his body and the cuts in his face are still ugly and red but heâs alive.
Eddie doesnât realize heâs crying until Maddie grabs his hand, forcing his eyes to meet her gaze. âHeâs alive, Eddie. You saved him.â
Eddie shakes his head. âHe was only on that road because of me, he wouldnât haveââ
âStop.â Maddieâs voice is firm and thereâs a strong emotion flaring in her eyes. âThis was not your fault, this is that idiot driverâs fault. You did everything right, Eddie. You saved my baby brotherâs life.â
Eddie stares back at her, tears stream down both their faces. Without warning, Maddie pulls him into a bone crushing hug and he winces, pain flaring from where sheâd hit a bruise.
âSorry!â She says, pulling back quickly. âI forgot.â
Eddie manages a watery smile. âItâs ok.â
They each take a seat on either side of Buckâs bed. Thereâs a cast on his left arm, so maddie canât grab his hand. Instead, she reaches out and brushes a lock of hair off his face. âYouâve gotta stop scaring me like this, Evan,â she says sadly.
They sit together quietly for ages. At some point, Eddie takes Buckâs right hand in his own and squeezes. He puts his other hand over Buckâs wrist, feels the pulse beat in time with the monitor.
âI told him that I love him,â Eddie whispers. Maddieâs gaze snaps to his face, shock clear in her expression. She doesnât say anything, simply sits and waits. Eddie takes a shaky breath, staring at Buckâs face. âHe was unconscious, back at the accident and Iâhe needed to wake up. I needed him to wake up, I couldnât let him die. I wasnât thinking about anything but keeping him alive and it justâI said that he couldnât leave me like that because I love him.â
âEddie,â Maddie says, barely above a whisper. She looks like she wants to say something else but then Buck groans and Eddie feels Buckâs fingers tighten around his own. âHey, Evan, are you awake?â Maddie asks, immediately moving to rest her hand on his cheek.
Buck makes a noise that almost sounds like a word and his eyes flutter open. He looks around the room slowly, his eyes pausing on Maddie before they land on Eddie. He squeezes Eddieâs hand again and Eddie chokes on a delirious laugh. âYouâre awake,â he says, almost in awe.
Buck cracks a small smile. âDid you mean it?â His voice is scratchy and it comes out weak.
Eddie's heart starts beating harder in his chest. âMean what?â
Buck looks down at their intertwined hands then back up at Eddie. âAt the accident. You told me you loved me.â
Maddie stares between the two of them, fighting a smile. Eddie gapes at Buck. âYou heard that?â
Buck nods. âDid you mean it?â he repeats.
Eddie is at a complete loss for words. Buck was unconscious, he was dying, heâhe heard Eddie? Eddie gives a miniscule nod.
Buck laughs, although it sounds more like a cough. âGood. I love you too.â
Eddie stares at Buck. This isnât real. This canât be real. Eddie must have died at the accident because this isnât possible. âBuck, youââ
âI love you,â Buck repeats, firmer this time. âIâve loved you for a long time, Eddie.â
And suddenly Eddie is grinning. Buck is alive and he loves Eddie back and none of this should be happening but it is and Eddie is crying again. âGod, I love you so much, Buck. I thought you were dead.â
Buck smiles. âI canât believe you waited until you thought I was dead to tell me you love me.â
Eddie huffs out a surprised laugh. Maddie is looking between them both like she canât decide if sheâs happy or angry. âI didnât want to ruin anything,â Eddie explains. It feels like an inadequate reason now that he knows Buck loves him too.
Buck rolls his eyes at Eddie fondly. âIs Chris here?â he asks hopefully.
Eddie nods. âYeah, uh, I canââ
âIâll go get him,â Maddie says, interrupting him. She shoots her a grateful smile. Heâs not ready to let go of Buckâs hand just yet.
Buck comes to stay with Eddie and Chris while heâs recovering. Bobby and Athena offered, since Maddie and Chimney have baby Jee-Yun to take care of, but Buck declines.
âIâd rather be with you,â he says, when Eddie asks.
Itâs a long recovery for Buck, Eddie is back at work after a few weeks off. But this is better than when his leg was crushed. Buck isnât afraid that he wonât be able to return to the 118 this time around. Eddie worries about him all the time, but he knows that Buck has Chris and Carla with him all the time and at night Eddie gets to climb into bed with the man he loves.
Eventually, Buck is completely recovered and asks if he should go back to his apartment. Eddie doesnât even hesitate before saying no. He just got Buck, heâs not letting go of him. Not ever letting go if he has any say in it.
#prompt fill#fic request#911 fox#911 on fox#911 fanfic#911 fic#evan buckley#evan 'buck' buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#buddie fanfic#buddie fic#christopher diaz#maddie buckley
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pirate king (13) || atz
âMaster!â You burst into the sickbay, eyes brimming over with tears as you desperately search for that head of green hair that has grown so familiar to you. You ignore the stunned faces of some of the pirates who are getting their wounds treating, the concerned glances that some give you, only to see Seonghwa standing there with a basket of dirty cloths in his arms and a startled look on his face at the commotion.
Then he sees the tears tracks winding down your face and his expression melts into one of horrified concern, he puts the basket down and moves to reach for you.
You simply throw yourself into his arms without waiting for him and sob into his chest, openly weeping in full view of all the pirates in the sickbay. The cook staggers back a couple of steps from the force of your embrace, but manages to upright himself before the two of you go bowling over onto the floor.
Seonghwa is warm. He always has been. Gentle, kind, compassionate and tender-hearted. And youâve never been so grateful for a man like him. He lets you cry, hands softly winding in your hair, a little confused as to why itâs suddenly several inches shorter and out of its usual braid. You hear Jonghoâs heavy footsteps behind you on the wooden floor, and his face must say something because Seonghwaâs body stiffens, his embrace around you tightening just a little as he folds you into his arms.
âWhat did you do, Jongho?â
Seonghwaâs voice is deliberately neutral. He trusts Jongho, of course. But the last person you were with was indeed the young battlemaster and he knows Jongho is terribly awkward with new people. He wouldnât be surprised if Jongho had said something silly on accident and ended up causing you to get upset.
But Jongho merely exhales uncomfortably, looking down at his boots. âWe should talk about this in private.â His voice holds no room for argument.
Seonghwa frowns a little at this apparent need for privacy, long fingers gently stroking through your hair as your warm tears soak into his shirt sleeves. âJihyun, help me call San and tell him to come to his room immediately.â
A tall pirate nods, rising to his feet. âOf course, Seonghwa-sunbae.â He moves off quickly, disappearing from sight. Seonghwa then puts an arm around your shoulders, sweetly ushering you into the backroom where youâve been sleeping for the past couple of weeks and sits you down on Sanâs bed, wiping the tears from your eyes with a tender hand. Jongho follows behind, shutting the door firmly behind you.
You feel weak, boneless, as the words run through your mind again and again on repeat.
âYou will never find what you so desperately seek as long as you live.â
You reach out a hand. Seonghwa looks puzzled for a moment, but you think the experience must have at least made you and Jongho closer somehow, because he understands immediately and clasps your hands gently, almost timidly in his, as if afraid that you might break if he uses too much force.
Jongho probably could crush a manâs skull with his bare hands, but he cradles your hand like itâs a newborn baby chick.
âJust before you get the wrong idea, hyung, I didnât do anything.â The young battlemaster says firmly, but there is guilt lingering in his voice. You know itâs not because he did anything to you, but because he regrets making you visit the fortune teller in the first place.
Seonghwa frowns in confusion as he moves to light the lamp in the room. âThen why is s-â He coughs lightly as the smoke from the lamp gets into his eyes and nose. âWhy is he so upset, Jongho?â
You curl up on Sanâs bed, wrapping your arms around yourself as if that can stop you from falling apart.
The maknae opens his mouth to explain, but then San enters the room.
His face is smoothed over, carefully blank, but you can feel the pulse of his energy spiking erratically, feeling more like a burning stove rather than a warm radiance. Jongho and Seonghwa must both feel it as well, because they both stiffen minutely.
âHyung, we need to talk-â Jongho begins to say, but San ignores him and makes a beeline straight for you, sitting next to you on the bed and patting his lap.
âHere.â
You donât decline the invitation, laying your head in his lap and curling up beneath the sheets like you do every time you get nightmares. You press your nose against his side, and immediately the smell of him fills your lungs. Green tea, honey, and floral notes of ylang ylang and lavender mixed with the odd herb heâs been experimenting with combine to create a scent that is uniquely his, one that never fails to calm you down even in the fiercest of storms.
His hand comes to rest in your hair, carding through the strands gently.
Only when heâs sure that youâre no longer in hysterics and on the verge of a panic attack does he turn to Jongho with sharp piercing eyes.
âSo, would you mind explaining to me why my apprentice is in this state?â
You feel bad for Jongho, having to endure all this questioning by himself when he technically was only trying to help you and encourage you, but San shushes you the second you open your mouth.
âI want to hear this from him.â His eyes donât leave the young battlemaster.
âWell, do you guys remember the first time I came to Tortuga, I visited a fortune teller?â Jongho asks slowly. His hyungs exchange looks, and then Seonghwa nods hesitantly.
âWhy?â
âI brought him to visit the fortune teller.â Jongho mutters quietly, his voice small. You realise that even though Jongho may be the strongest, best fighter on board, he still submits himself to the authority of his older brothers. âAnd the fortune teller said some thingsâŠâ
Sanâs eyes narrow as his fingers continue to brush through your hair. Seonghwa seats himself at Sanâs work table to listen to what Jongho has to say.
âShe something about a jar of clay⊠and some secret that would ruin our trust in her...â Jongho mutters, shaking his head.
Sanâs fingers freeze in your hair.
âI mean⊠The secret that stowawayâs actually a woman isnât quite secret, am I right?â
A terrified squeak leaves your mouth, momentarily pulling you out of your daze. You jerk up, staring at Jongho with wide eyes and your mouth hanging open in horror. Seonghwa shrugs in response to the maknaeâs words.
âI did find out rather recently, so I suppose itâs no longer secret within us three then.â
You gulp. San stiffens slightly, but then you can feel his muscles relaxing next to you. âHow did you find out, hyung?â
âWhen she hugged me earlier.â Seonghwa replies easily, much to your shock. Then he pauses, glancing at you hesitantly. âI could feel her⊠ah, chest through her clothes. I apologise deeply for any inappropriate actions I might have done under the impression you were a man.â
Your cheeks catch aflame as you stare at the cook in a mixture of both horror and embarrassment, your mouth opening and closing like a dying fish. Jonghoâs nose scrunches up at his words.
âThatâs gross, hyung.â
Seonghwa sputters incoherently at his dongsaengâs words, looking like a rapidly reddening tomato. âWell, excuse me for not knowing she was a woman! How about you say how you figured it out?â
Jongho halts in all action immediately, jaw working furiously. His own cheeks have started turning apple red, and he looks away to the side, mumbling under his breath.
âWhen the fortune teller grabbed her shirt, I saw-â
You bury your face in a pillow to hide your embarrassment and scream. At this point, you donât know what you are. Confused, shocked, mortified, everything. All you know you want to do is to crawl into a hole in the ground and slowly rot away, but then you then you remember youâre at sea in a ship and there is no hole in the ground for you to die in.
To your surprise, however, Jongho and Seonghwa donât seem to be very affected by the fact that you are a woman. Jongho continues rambling on in spite of your mounting embarrassment.
â-her chest, okay? Well, not really her chest, but the bindings around her chest and I kind of guessed-â
âOkay, okay, we get it!â San covers your ears frantically before you can hear any more. âLetâs get back to the fortune teller bit. Jongho, do you remember everything she said?â
âPretty much.â The young battlemaster turns to Seonghwa. âHyung, do you think you could help me write it down before I forget?â
The cook picks up one of the stray quills on Sanâs worktable, pulling over a piece of blank paper. âAlright.â
Taking a deep breath, Jongho begins to recite the words from memory.
âOh nameless one, child of the sea, youâre missing something very important to you.â
âStowaway doesnât have a name, so it does seem accurate.â Seonghwa mutters grimly, San nodding in agreement. The two of them are completely focused, intent on figuring out what the cryptic words of the fortune teller mean.
The sight warms you immensely despite the daze youâre in.
âAnd she is a pirate now, so the part of her being a child of the sea fits.â San adds, leaning his head on your shoulder. You shrug.
âSheâs an amnesiac, so sheâs missing her memories. Weâve solved the first bit. Thatâs good.â Jongho glances at the page as Seonghwa scribbles down their interpretation of the fortune tellerâs words.
A frown tugs at his lips as he continues. âThe secret you keep will ruin the trust you built. Thatâs the bit about her being a woman, isnât it?â
Seas, it was weird hearing Jongho referring to you as her instead of he.
âI donât see anything else that could be it.â San mutters thoughtfully, but Seonghwa cuts in.
âShe could hear the voice of the sea monster that was chasing us the other time.â
Jonghoâs jaw hits the ground. âYou could do what?â
It almost amuses you how the young battlemaster is more shocked at the fact you could hear the sea monsterâs voice as compared to the fact that you are a woman.
âYeah.â You mumble under your breath, but Jonghoâs eyes are huge with awe.
âThatâs so cool!â For a moment, Jongho looks like the eighteen year old boy he is, still young, excitable, not quite a man yet, but he quickly catches himself and clears his throat. âWell, moving on. To pass the trial, one must cross into death and awaken into life. The biggest obstacle to overcome is yourself.â
He glances around at all of you. âThat sounds cryptic and completely unhelpful. And I have absolutely no idea what it means.â
âWhat trial do you think the fortune teller could be talking about?â San scratches at his hair, frowning as he racks his mind. Seonghwa shrugs, just as confused.
âWell then. I suppose we could just leave this here for now.â Jongho mutters, shaking his head in disappointment. âA jewel resting in a jar of clay. That was when she went bat shit crazy and started shaking our stowaway here, demanding to know whoâd made her.â
âWho made her?â Seonghwa questions, looking utterly bewildered as he jots them down. You feel your skin crawl at the words again. There seems to be some sort of significance to it that you can feel, something your mind screams at you to remember, but you canât.
âShe referred to stowaway as a âvessel that has only existed for a moonâ, whatever the hell that meant.â Jongho supplies helpfully, and you feel San stiffen beside you.
Seonghwa looks equally uncomfortable as he glances at you. âA moon?â He repeats, hesitantly. You donât know what the fortune teller was indicating when she said you had supposedly existed for a moon, but you donât think she was referring to the silvery orb in the sky.
Your master frowns. âWhat I guess the fortune teller was referring to was a moon cycle. A vessel that has existed for a moon cycle.â
âYes,â Seonghwa begins to argue, gesturing at you. âBut how can she only have existed for one moon cycle?â
The two stare at each other for a while, both having some sort of internal battle as to what it could be. You tap Jonghoâs arm frantically.
âHow long is a moon cycle?â
At your question, Jongho swallows uncomfortably and looks away from you. âA little over twenty eight days.â
You feel like someone has just slapped you across the face.
Twenty eight days?
Your face must be a real sight, because San and Seonghwa immediately rush to comfort you.
âIt could just mean that youâve been without your memory for that long.â
âYes! I mean, you canât be that young. Donât worry about it. It must be interpretation.â
You nod your head absentmindedly, still in some sort of daze. âRight.â Seonghwa gives Jongho a chastening look for revealing something that affected you so much. The young battlemaster mumbles an apology under his breath.
Then San sighs, rubbing his temples. âHonestly, we should ask Yeosang for help with this. No one on this ship is as good with cryptic nonsense, long, complicated words and obscure references as he.â
Jongho nods agreement. âSometimes I donât even understand what hyung is saying.â
You nod slowly. To be honest with yourself, you donât really know what youâd do without these people by your side. Even Jongho, who youâve just begun to talk to today, has been nothing but infinitely kind and helpful to you. You almost want to slap your past self for being such a fool, for even thinking he could have a bad bone in him.
âThank you.â Your words come out a little choked with emotion, but the three of them accept it all the same. San doesnât say anything, but just pats your head as usual.
Seonghwa beams at you gently. âItâs no problem, stowaway. Youâre part of the family now. Weâd do anything in our power to help you.â
Jongho looks at you seriously. âWait⊠but we forgot one last thing. The sea witch.â
Sea witch.
Seonghwa flinches while San shudders, shoulders curling inwards. You frown at the two of them, a little unnerved by their reactions towards the word. The sea witch canât be very terrifying, can she? Magic tended to be nothing more than the arcane, and from what Jongho has told you, only rare people like San are able to use this inner energy to their benefit.
âWhat is it?â
âThe sea witch.â San echoes, drumming his fingers on his thigh absentmindedly. âWe should probably ask Yeosangie more about this before you start to get any ideas, but if the myths are true⊠the sea witch is a being of immense power that lives on an island that only people in great desperation can find, surrounded by the sirens who serve her.â
âI read the legend of her when I was a child.â Seonghwa turns to you with a mixed look of both pity and worry. âThe sea witch bargains with many beings, both supernatural and mortal, to make a deal. In the story I read, she gave a mermaid legs to be with the man she loved but took her voice.â
A deal.
Jongho meets your gaze, both your eyes drawn to the same object, the tiny crystal hanging at the end of your necklace.
The symbol of your bargain with the sea witch.
A headache starts throbbing at your temples, and you furiously rub at them, trying to ease the pain. Seonghwa notices almost at once and rises to his feet.
âWe should let him-â He corrects himself. â-her rest.â San and Jongho nod agreement as they both rise to their feet.
âWeâll talk about this another day, apprentice.â San murmurs softly to you as you lie back on his bed, pulling the covers up to your nose. âWeâll talk to Yeosangie about this first, alright? He has a lot of books in Hongjoongie-hyungâs cabin, Iâm sure weâll find something.â
âOk.â Your voice is small, and San gives you a warm smile before leaving the room, Jongho behind him.
But only Seonghwa lingers in the room for a moment, looking conflicted once more.
âWhatâs wrong, hyung?â
The cook looks at you for a long, silent moment before he speaks.
âYou should tell the crew youâre a woman soon.â
Your chest seizes up. Yes, you know that Seonghwa and Jongho didnât especially mind that you were one, and neither did they begrudge you for keeping this secret, but you knew not everyone would be this understanding.
âEspecially captain.â
You swallow nervously.
âI will.â
Seonghwa manages a last, weak smile at you before turning to leave. As you lie under the covers, you wonder what might happen if Hongjoong did take the fact that you were a woman badly.
What if he left you in some town like heâd promised to do the last time?
No. No. You couldnât have that. Not when youâd just started finding constructive clues to your past, not when youâd just started gaining family.
You needed to wait. Not now. You couldnât tell them now.
The secret you keep will ruin the trust you built.
It was a decision you would later come to regret.
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez jongho#ateez wooyoung#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez pirate king#hongjoong#seonghwa#san#mingi#jongho#wooyoung#yunho#yeosang#w; ot8#w; pirate king#w; fanfiction
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Healing (Because Gothamâs Winter Hurt You)
Based off of this fic, by @catxsnow
Word Count: 1231
Notes: Hello! If you haven't seen the post linked, please do before you read this work, or it might not make too much sense. It's 1000% worth the read. Also, be kind if you choose to comment, please. This is very personal and feels very raw. I wrote all of it down in one go and decided not to add anything to it after it was done, so it's all rather emotional to me. All that said, I hope you enjoy it!
âBut... thatâs just wrong.â Roy says, staring at Dick with concern.
Dick shrugs.
âHe didnât notice.â
âWell, he fucking should have.â Roy frowns, exasperated. He never wanted to break Batmanâs face as much as he did now.
âI was the one that insisted on the uniform Roy.â Dick says âI shouldâve just thought about that.â
âYou were nine.â Roy shoots back âAnd you hadnât even spent an entire year in Gotham to know what itâs winters are like.â
âI was smart enough to know that winters are cold.â Dick stares back at his friend âBesides, if I didnât say anything itâs because I could take it.â
The redhead almost feels tears welling up in his eyes from how angry, frustrated, and scared he was for his friend. But he pushed those away; this wasnât about him. Heâd have time to cry and yell when he was alone in his room. He could put all of his frustrations into arrows and shoot them off into dummies during training. Right now, this was about Dick.
Roy reached across the table to hold his friends hand.
âHeâs just such a little soldier, this one.â Jasonâs voice popped up in his memories âHe never sees how wrong Bruce is, all of the time. Would probably die for the man.â
Dick didnât hold his hand, but he wasnât pushing it away.
The acrobatâs eyes dropped to the ground.
âHe didnât mean it, he just never noticed it Roy.â He mumbles âHe didnât... Itâs not his fault. Heâs not a bad man. Heâs not. Heâs Batman, he canât be a bad man.â
Even from the distance, Roy could see the wetness in Dickâs eyes.
âDickie,â He calls âDickie, look at me.â Dick shakes his head, like a stubborn child âPlease.â Roy says in a softer voice.
He couldnât just allow his friend to suffer like that.
He couldnât let his friend keep on believing the ugly lies he had told himself.
Slowly, Dick peels his gaze from the floor and his sapphire eyes meet Royâs. He was wrecked, just as much as he usually was; little cuts and bruises still healing from the fights, cheeks beginning to hollow from how little he had been eating and dark eye bags from the lack of sleep â and maybe lack of iron in his diet. But now, now there was another, brand new layer of mess. Now there were tears, threatening to spill out.
âIt wasnât his fault.â He still mumbles, and Roy couldnât help but notice the ugly strands of saliva that clung to his friends lips as he spoke. The redhead wondered when was the last time he had eaten today.
âDick-â
âIt wasnât... It canât be his fault Roy.â Dick sobs, but heâs holding Royâs hand now. Royâs thumb slid gently across his friend's skin, feeling a scar from a small cut that had healed weird âIt canât...â
Roy could understand what he was trying to say.
It wasnât his fault, because if it was his fault, every single certainty I had in this life will crumble right in front of my eyes.
Thatâs what Dick was feeling.
And it broke Royâs heart that heâd be the one to kick down the first block of a painful domino trail.
But there was no one else there to do it.
Roy walks around the table they were sitting, not letting go of Dickâs hand for a second until he was close enough to pull him into a hug, shielding him from the world, hoping that this would make things easier for his friend.
âDick. He shouldâve noticed.â He says, pulling back to look at Dick, really look at him for the first time in some time. Dick looks down and shakes his head so Roy nods to contradicts his movements âYes, yes he should have.â
âNo, I-I shouldâve said something, he wasnât a mind reader, itâs not-â
âDick, you were nine and he was your father.â Roy grabs his shoulder gently, trying to get Dick to look at him again.
âHe just... you canât blame him for... he just didnât see it, itâs not like he was beating me...â
âYes, but thatâs still bad.â Roy insists âYou understand how itâs still bad, right?â Dick still shakes his head âI need you to understand that, Dick. I need you to try to understand that this was bad.â
âI was just cold, itâs not that big of a deal-â
âDick, you had hypothermia. Several times.â Roy says âIt was a big deal.â
âNo, no, itâs fine, I survived, and Iâm stronger now, Iâm-â
âDick,â Roy grabs him harder now, almost desperate âItâs still bad. It shouldnât have happened.â
âItâs not like he was actively abusing me, Roy.â Dick mumbles.
âNeglect is still abuse, Dick.â Roy says softly.
The silence in the room is palpable.
If one was to bring a butter knife to the room, one wouldâve been able to slice through it and spread on toast.
âDick. Neglect is still abuse.â Roy repeats.
âI-I,â Dick sobs, loudly âI know.â
The acrobatâs shoulders shake violently with the tears, rising and falling in a way that seems almost painful. Roy was grateful he was the one that had been there to talk to Dick. None of the other Titans, with the exception of Donna Troy, would have been able to handle this, and surely none of the bats. Dick rarely cried, but when he did, it was ugly and uncontrollable. Years of repressed tears falling out, screams ripping through his throat in an attempt to push out the pain he felt, drool staining faces and clothes, snot down his chin until his body gave out and he became a limp shell of a man, sometimes for a day or two before he could properly recover.
Howâs all this repression working out for you, Batsy?
Roy pulled him into a tight hug.
âI know.â Dick mumbles between sobs âI know, I know. I know.â
Roy simply held him tighter, feeling Dick clinging to his clothes, fingers trying to grasp something, anything at all to support himself as he tried desperately to disappear, to melt into Royâs chest, to become a puddle and be promptly cleaned by his surprisingly neat team. Of course, he couldnât find enough support for that, and he fell from his chair, bringing Roy down with him. He still clung to the man, mumbling incoherent apologies.
âShhh... itâs fine...â Roy tries to calm him down, fingers running through his hair and a firm hand on his back âItâs fine. Iâm here, just let it out Dick. Let it out.â
And Dick does just that. Not by choice, but because the dam had already burst and it would take him some time before he could build the wall back up.
Roy wishes he could turn that dam into a river so bad.
Dick cries for what feels like an eternity, and itâs still not enough. He screamed into Royâs chest for way too long, until his throat was hoarse and there was no way someone in the building didnât know what was going on. Dick didnât care, he couldnât care, his mind just didnât register it. And Roy didnât care either, because there was no shame in this. Because if this was the first step towards Dickâs healing then whatever discomfort that may linger in the tower was worth it.
Hey! If you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging? It helps spread my fics so more people can see it and it makes me very happy.
Regardless, thanks for reading!
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Ateez saying goodbye to their s/o when they are enlisting
⊠Genre: Fluff/Light Angst.
⊠Pairing: OT8.
⊠Word count: 4k.
⊠Requested: Yes, thank you! đŠÂ
⊠Masterlist.
⊠Warning: â ïž I probably said false or incoherent things about Korean enlistment. Thereâs so many info I might be wrong somewhere.
HONGJOONG
âI canât believe you need to enlist.â You sighed. âY/N... you are so dramatic.â He flicked your forehead. âWhat I am going to do without you?â You pouted. âI need my best friend with me.â Hongjoong stared at you, not breaking the eye contact. âWhat?â You asked. âYou are still calling me your best friend while we are more than this.â He smiled. âThatâs cute.â You blushed a bit. âBest friend or boyfriend, you are going to leave me.â âSay that to the government.â He held your hand. You were about add something, but the van stopped. Your heart clenched in your chest. âOkay... here we are.â Claimed Hongjoong. He turned around to look at you since you didnât reply.
âY/N... donât cry.â He whispered, rubbing your hand. âHow can you ask me to not cry when I wonât see you for almost 2 years...â you sniffled. âWe can see each other sometimes.â He replied. âYes 2 times in total when you will have a day off!â Hongjoong smiled at you. You had this strong look, but you were one of the most sensitive people he knew. âItâs going to be okay. We will meet sooner than you think.â You pulled him in a soft hug. âStay safe there okay?â âPromised.â You heard the manager knock at the vanâs door. âI need to go.â He whispered. âWait,â you stopped him. You looked for something in your bag. âY/N! I really need to-â âTake this with you.â You handed him one of your favorite necklaces. âKeep it in your stuff and wear it when you miss me okay?â You smiled. âThen I need to wear it all the time?â He giggled. He saw that his comment made you sadder than 2 seconds ago. âAaah donât cry again! I will keep it and call you when I can!â He tried to wipe your tears, but the manager knocked again. He cupped your chin with his fingers and pulled you in a soft kiss. The butterflies in your stomach made their apparition again, like every time when he touches you. âSee you soon babe.â He smiled.
SEONGHWA
âSweetheart-â âYes I know, you canât walk properly but I need to feel your warmness.â You claimed. You were stuck to your boyfriendâs arm during the whole way to the meeting point. He was enlisting today, and you wanted to enjoy his presence. He will be there for almost 2 years, so you needed a big dose of love to survive. âYou are unbelievable,â he stroked your head, messing your hair. âWhy are you not sad to leave me there alone for so long?â âBecause you will be in my heart.â He smirked, pointing at his chest. âStop saying this because I will cry again.â You stopped him. âOkay no no no!â He almost yelled. âDonât cry again. Your eyes are still puffy from yesterday.â âThatâs your fault.â You pouted. âMine?â He smiled. âI planned the perfect date for you before my enlistment. I cooked all of your favorite food and even brought you to the rooftop for a romantic night.â âYou resumed exactly why my eyes are so puffy. This moment was so special that I didnât want it to end.â â1 year and a half arenât so long you know.â He tried to comfort you. You didnât reply. You were just focusing on the big bus coming in front of you. At this moment, you knew he would need to leave.
You tightened your grip around Seonghwaâs arm. âI never imagined it would be so hard.â You stated sadly. âItâs going to be okay.â âWhy I feel like you wonât even miss me?â You finally detached yourself from your boyfriend. âDonât say that.â He grunted. âIâm sad of course, like really sad. But I donât want you to see me crying or stuff.â He explained, hugging you. âWhy?â You asked, rubbing his back. âBecause itâs going to be hard for both of us. But nothing will stop me from loving you okay?â Seonghwa heard you crying again. He couldnât see you but your body shaking. âAnd I wanted to avoid this too. I donât want you to cry.â âI will miss you so much.â Seonghwa stepped back and held you by your shoulder. âThis is not a goodbye babe. I will be there soon.â He shook your shoulders a bit to change your mind or making you laugh. But the pain and anxiety were too present. âI need to go,â he kissed your forehead. âBut donât cry okay. Enjoy your time without me because when I will be back you will be annoyed by the amount of love, I will need to give you.â You giggled at him, âI will.â Seonghwa didnât add anything. He just cupped your face in his hands and pulled you in a kiss. Just when you were enjoying the moment, he stepped back and joined his new team. He didnât turn back to wave at you. It might be hard for him too.
YUNHO
âYour toothbrush?â âI have it.â âYour underwear?â âI have it.â Sighed Yunho. âAre you sure? Because I saw the black one on your bed this morning and-â âY/N... I have everything.â You bit your lip. Yunho was enlisting today. You could remember again when he told you that he would need to leave for 1 year and a half. You acted like everything was fine, but you didnât hold 5 minutes that you were already sobbing in the restroom. Yunho was praising how strong and calm you were. His girlfriend or boyfriendâs friend were always crying and stuff. Luckily, with you he wouldnât need to get through this hard moment. Or thatâs why he thought.
âYou let a message on your momâs voicemail right? You know she would be happy to learn you enlisted well.â âI did Y/N. And you were there when I did it!â He added. âIâm sorry I just want to make sure you enlist correctly.â You scratched your head. âOr you try to gain few minutes with me?â He smirked. âIâm not stupid. I know you try to make me stay a bit longer.â âAnd itâs a bad thing?â You bit your lip again. Your boyfriend dropped his bag on the floor and wrapped his arm around your waist. âOf course, itâs not a bad thing. I love to spend more time with you too.â You blinked few times and strongly bit your lip. âAre you going to-â he stared at you. âNo!â Your voice cracked a bit. You were trying to suppress the sob in your throat and the tears to slide on your face. âY/N, look at me.â He whispered calmly. You shook your head. âYou said that you donât like cries, sobs and stuff like that, so I wonât cry.â âBabe...â Yunho felt a bit bad to afflict this to you. âDonât do this. You can cry if you want to.â He pulled your hair behind your ear. No matter how hard you were biting your lip, you busted in tears. âY/N... itâs going to be okay. Donât cry.â You nodded, making him understand that you heard him, but the sobs were now uncontrollable. âI will miss you too.â He patted your back, trying to comfort you. You enjoyed his hug for few long minutes before the manager calls him. You instantly stepped back and wiped your tears yourself. âYou need to go.â He smiled sadly at you and kissed your hand. âWait for me okay?â âOf course.â You replied. Yunho waved at you the whole time he was joining the team. He almost fell 2 times, but he wasnât stopping. You couldnât express how much you loved this man.
YEOSANG
âY/N, stop crying.â âHow do you want me to stop?â You sobbed, not understanding his request. âHow can you still be crying? You cried the whole day!â He teased you. âBecause I love you idiot and I donât want you to leave!â You punched his arm. With Yeosang, you were constantly teasing each other. It was your way to say âI love youâ. You ignored it but today, Yeosang was teasing you more than ever becahse he wanted you to stop being sad. You cried yesterday and the whole day too. Your eyes were so puffy and red that people could think you caught an eye disease.
âIf you love me then stop crying.â He tried a new technic. The glare you gave him was a bit scary so he concluded that his new tactic didnât work at all. âYou really want me to keep this sad and devastated face as a memory for the 2 future years?â He asked. âYou are a monster.â You growled. âI donât even know why Iâm crying for you!â Yeosang smirked. âJust smile at me so I could think about your warm and beautiful face.â You turned around, showing him your back. âNo, you donât deserve it.â Not giving up, he put his chest against your back and wrapped his arm around your waist. âI need it.â He buried his face in the crock for your neck. âIf I donât have it Iâm going crazy.â âDonât think you will get me just because of a hug.â You crossed your arms on your chest. âPlease please please?â He insisted, squeezinf you a bit. You laughed a bit at his ministrations. âI will smile at you when you will be blond again.â You patted his bald head. âBut I donât have hair anymore and for a long time.â âI know.â You stuck your tongue out at him. He bit your shoulder gently and turned you in front of him. âSmile at me so I can go and have enough energy for 1 year and a half.â You rolled your eyes playfully but finally made the best smile you ever did for him. âAaah! Iâm living again.â He claimed. You punched him again and hugged him one more time. âDonât forget me Kang Yeosang.â You whispered, pecking his lip. âHow I could forget your puffy eyes and the glanders coming off your nose?â He replied. âArgh I hate you.â Knowing that you would try to escape he pressed you against him and enjoyed the last hug he would have until a long time. âI love you.â âMe too.â You replied. When you let him go, you felt your heart clenching in your chest. You were really dependent of this man.
SAN
San needed to enlist today for 1 year and a half. You were in a fresh and new relationship. You were dating for 6 months, you still learned about each other a lot every day. You were a bit sad because of this sudden departure, but you ignored that San was more nervous than you. You were the one whoâs going to meet people every day, especially men. He was scared. Maybe one day you will announce him that you want to break up because you find someone else. He never talked about it with you. He didnât want you to think heâs stupid. But you noticed his behavior changed a lot since he received the information about his departure.
When both of you were waiting for the bus to come, you asked: âSan. Is there something you want to say before leaving?â He raised a brow, trying to know if you understand the situation. âNo, I think we talked enough the last days.â âAre you sure? Because I find you a bit... distant.â San gulped. The last thing he wanted was you to feel this way. âIâm just a bit sad. Iâm going to miss you.â He smiled sadly. âWe donât know each other for so long but I truly believe this is not the only reason.â You claimed. San shook his head, making you understand that you were wrong. âYou know you can tell me everything huh?â You added, just in case it could change his mind. Your boyfriend was hesitating so bad to tell you the truth. âThe bus is coming,â you said sadly. âScrew the opinion,â he whispered. âHuh?â âY/N promise you wonât forget me okay? Donât leave me for someone else even if he or sheâs funnier than me okay?â He claimed. You smiled at him. Finally, you knew what was going on his head. âI wonât do that San. I love you too much for this.â You confessed. Both of you stayed quiet, completely surprised after your declaration. âItâs the f-first time you say that you love me.â He stuttered, furiously blushing. You acted normally but inside you were freaking out; it wasnât your type to confess like that. âWell okay! Have fun there and stay healthy okay!â You pecked his cheek. âDonât forget to text or call me when you can and rest when you can!â You pushed him toward the bus. âY/N,â he giggled. âI love you too!â âI canât heart anythiiiing! Bye!â You yelled when he stepped inside. Lucky for you, the bus left the parking really quickly. You just wanted to hide in a hole. But at least, your relationship will completely change when he will be back.
MINGI
âDo you think sheâs coming?â Asked Jongho. âI donât think so...â sighed Mingi. âWe didnât talk since last week.â âI think sheâs coming. She wouldnât miss your enlistment.â He tried to reassure his friend. The last week you argued with your boyfriend Mingi. It started with a little argument about your jealousy but ended with a whole questioning about your relationship. You were so mad and sad about this that you went back to your apartment and ghosted him the next days. He tried to call you a thousand of times, but in vain, as expected. âShould I call her again? Or at least letting a message on her-â âYou did it already.â Sighed Jongho. âYou told her the entire information you had about your departure.â âI donât know what to do Jongho.â He growled, completely frustrated. âMingi.â Both of them turned around. âY/N!â Shouted your boyfriend. âIâll give you a bit of privacy.â Said Jongho, almost running away.
âY/N Iâm so happy to see you here! I really thought you wouldnât come.â âIâm not a monster. I wonât to let my boyfriend enlist without saying goodbye.â You replied. âYou canât imagine how happy I am to hear you saying âboyfriendâ,â He smiled. âMingi I donât want you to leave in bad terms.â You declared. âI agree. Iâm sorry for these terrible things that I said. I regret it.â He held your hands. âBut since we have a short time left, can we just enjoy the moment we have?â You nodded. Thatâs everything you wanted. âIâm sorry too.â You couldnât be any happier. Even if you were boiling inside the last week, you really missed him. Mingi pulled you in a soft hug for few long minutes. The whole time he was whispering how much he loves you and that he would do his best to contact you every time he can. âI donât want you to leave. I feel stupid for ignoring you a week before your departure.â âItâs okay. We will have all the time we want when I will be back.â He kissed the top of your head. âMingi Hyung, sorry to interrupt but you need to go.â Warned Jongho, embarrassed to break this romantic moment. You pecked his plump lip softly and smiled at him. âSee you soon babe.â He nodded and hugged you one last time. âTake care of her Jongho,â he ordered to the maknae. âI can protect myself,â you pouted. âSure Hyung.â Replied Jongho. More you were staring at your boyfriend leaving you there, more you already missed his presence. Jongho noticed how sad you were. He patted your back, âDonât worry, he loves you too much to ruin this relationship.â
WOOYOUNG
âI canât believe itâs Wooyoungâs turn to enlist!â Claimed Seonghwa. âI felt like our enlistment was yersterday.â Added Hongjoong. âBruh... you are not going to cry? Even my parents didnât.â Replied Wooyoung, rolling his eyes. âWe are just emotional but not crying yet.â Wooyoung was enlisting today. He was a bit anxious because his friends told him that itâs kind of hard and stressful. But you found the good words to reassure him. Yesterday, you spent the whole day helping him to pack and prepare all the stuff he would need. âIf you see San donât start act crazily! You need to respect other men there.â Ordered Seonghwa. âYes mommy.â He replied sarcastically. You were looking at the two friends helping their friend, but you actually wanted some time with him. You wouldnât see him for a long time, and you couldnât get his attention. âAnd if you feel sick, donât hesitate to say the-â âSorry Hongjoong but can I have some time with Wooyoung?â You cut them straight. âOh, sorry Y/N! Of course!â He replied embarrassed. They stepped back enough to give you some privacy.
âSorry princess, you know how annoying they can be sometimes.â âI know.â You replied, smiling a bit. Wooyoung noticed the crack in your voice. âHey... donât cry.â You wiped the tears on your cheek, âyes sorry.â âItâs not so long okay?â â1 year and a half.â âItâs short.â He kissed your cheek. âIn a matter of time I will annoy you again.â You wrapped your arms around his neck. âDo you really need to go?â âI donât want to, believe me. But I need to.â He squeezed you in his arms. âI miss you already.â âI didnât know you were into these lovely dovely things Y/N,â he laughed. He thought you were going to pinch him as usual, but tears stormed on your face. This sight really made his heart aches. âDonât be sad,â he tried to comfort you. âWe will see each other sometimes. I will call you when I can.â He added, but seems like nothing could help right now. âY/N... princess stop crying I donât want to leave you like this.â No matter how hard you tried to collect your thoughts again, you failed. âWooyoung you need to go...â said Hongjoong joining you back. âI canât leave her like this.â âItâs okay,â you sniffled, stepping back. âWe will take care of her, okay?â Offered Seonghwa patting his memberâs back. Wooyoung hesitated a bit but he didnât have any choice. âOkay.â He hugged his members and kissed you one last time. He was blowing a bunch of kisses to you. It made your heart warm a bit. Fortunately, Seonghwa and Hongjoong would be there for you.
JONGHO
Jongho was enlisting. You knew that it would be a hard time since you were always together but the law is the law. To enjoy your time together, you spent the whole week on Jeju Island in a good hotel. It was paradisiac and you loved to share private moments with him. But today, the reality hit you when you saw him packing his army uniform. Now you were waiting for other men to step in the bus. Jongho managed to be the last one to get inside.
âWell I guess itâs a goodbye.â You shrugged. âJust for a short time.â Added Jongho, fixing his hat. âIf you donât forget me.â âDonât be stupid!â He rolled his eyes. âHow I can do that, silly...â âUsually I would reply something but right now I donât find any words.â âSomething like... âstay healthyâ or âcall me when you canâ.â âI know you will forget and fall asleep just when you hop on your bed. Like always.â âI wonât. There will be the only few interactions I can get with you. I wonât miss this.â His words, âonly few interactions I can getâ were stuck in your head. âY/N, are you listening to me?â Asked Jongho, waving in front of your face. âActually, Iâm trying hard to not to cry.â You confessed, ventilating your eyes so you could reduce the tears. âAh no! You know that if you cry I will!â Gasped Jongho. âI know thatâs why Iâm trying to think about something else!â Even if you were thing hard to erase the tears, few sobs escaped. âY/N!â Pouted Jongho. âSorry this is hard I canât do this,â you hid your face behind your hands. âBabe,â sobbed Jongho. âDonât cry!â You punched his chest gently. âI told you I would cry too!â If you werenât really sad inside, you would laugh at the scene. 2 grown people crying like babies in front of each other. That was comical. âDonât fall asleep okay? And call me.â You sobbed. âPromise.â He kissed you softly, wrapping his strong arm around your waist. When both of you were enjoying the moment, he broke the kiss. âStop crying okay?â He pecked your forehead. You nodded and held his hand one last time. âTake care of you.â âI will.â He replied. You felt your heart ache when your hand detached from his. When you couldnât see the bus anymore, the reality slapped you. He was gone and you would need to live without him for a long time.
#ateez#ateez kpop#ateez kq#Ateez hongjoong#ateez scenarios#ateez san#ateez seonghwa#ateez scenario#ateez mingi#ateez yeosang#ateez yunho#ateez wooyoung#ateez writing#ateez writings#ateez jongho#ateez reactions#ateez reaction#ateez request#ateez requests#ateez reader insert#ateez x reader#ateez x atiny#ateez x you#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez cute#ateez sad
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going off my previous post here but i wrote a mini fanfic/headcanon about zukos nightmares? this is really long but if yall like it im willing to actually write it from zukoâs pov and add dialogue. maybe even put it on ao3 maybe? anywho, id love to hear feedback! enjoy!!
it wasnt uncommon for zuko to wake up in such distress that he started frantically firebending. one time iroh saw his nephew quite literally wake up breathing fire. concerning, but very impressive. since joining the gang, he had worked on not doing that (as much as was in his control), as he had accidentaly burnt down a tent or three. but the nightmares themselves didnt subside.
not uncommon, zuko woke up gasping for breath. his head and heart were pounding, sweat dripping down his chest. he headed outside, planning to go to a nearby stream in hopes of finding some relief and peace, only to find sokka was sitting outside and very much awake. they both stared kind of awkwardly at each other before sokka ushered the older boy over. neither asked why the other was awake. they just made mindless chitchat before falling into a surprisingly comfortable silence. sokka got up to leave, but not before offering his company next time zuko needed it. when asked if the offer was genuine, he laughed. to be honest, he had said, he was just being polite, and didnt expect zuko to actually believe him. what a dick move, they both thought.
he woke up in a similar state a few nights later. he tossed and turned, begging for sleep to claim him again before ultimately grunting and accepting his fate. he wandered outside, once again finding sokka awake. zuko greeted him and explained he was going swimming. it was his silent way of offering his company, which sokka took. what started as idle conversation eventually progressed, and they found themselves floating in the stream talking about their youths. at some point they even talked about how they had both lost their moms due to the war (despite katara thinking she was the only one who had ever experienced any sort of emotional pain.) they hadnt even realized the hours that had gone by until the chirping of bugs was replaced by the chirping of birds and the sun put the stars to sleep.
this pattern continued. while sokka never asked what zukos nightmares were about, zuko learned that despite being a sleep enthusiast, sokka lost many hours of precious shut eye to anxious planning. sometimes they went on a walk, sometimes they were sparring, and sometimes they simply watched the stars. it was nice company, just to the two of them. no offense to aang, but sokka and zuko were closer in age and much more similar than they had originally realized. sokka offered his late night company. before zuko could question him, sokka placed a hand on the firebenders shoulder. anything for a friend.
on one occasion, zuko woke up and stumbled outside without thinking about it, only to be greeted with the faint glow of where the fire was, no man in sight. still groggy and disoriented, he rubbed his eyes and blinked a couple of times before shuffling back to bed, blaming the ache in his chest on the painful memory of his nightmares and not on the absence of a certain someones company. it took a long time before he could fall back asleep.
after becoming firelord, sokka decided to stay in the fire nation. mostly for political planning and engagement until zuko got himself on his own two feet. who else to help than the guy who had spent the past few months travelling the world trying to save it. the avatar, katara had said cooly. which wasnt wrong but sokka was offended that she hadnt just agreed. besides, sokka would assure zuko, its not like he could leave zuko alone. who would be his comedic relief?
since returning to the palace, zuko had gone back to handling his dreams alone, the way he used to. while his bedding was definitely made to withstand the panicked firebending, he figured there were better coping mechanisms. he quietly walked through the halls. the young firelord wasnt paying attention, rather just letting his body go on autopilot and he tried to clear his mind. after a solid 15 minutes of rights and lefts, he found himself a hallway away from sokkaâs quarters. after some hesitation, he turned around and went back to his bedroom.
the next time, after much delay and pacing, he knocked on the door. its not like be hadntât done this before. it would be just like before. that reasoning didnt stop zuko from immediately turning around and walking away. fortunately. sokka opened the door before he could get too far. zuko awkwardly began to explain his situation, but sokka just interrupted him and told him to wait before shutting the door. zuko stood there mouth still half open from when he was talking before sokka emerged two minutes later, clothed and ready to go. they wandered to the kitchen and talked for what seemed like minutes but must have been hours, as they were politely shooed out by the staff beginning to prepare breakfast. zuko walked sokka back to his quarters before they parted ways. sokka reminded his friend that though things may be different, the option still stood.
many night rendezvous later, zuko showed up particularly shaken. much to sokkaâs surprise, it almost looked like behind the curtain of now long dark hair, the mans face was wet. when sokka asked if he was crying while brushing dark hair behind a pale ear, it was confirmed that he was in fact crying. it started as silent tears, and slowly but surely turned into a violent sob. you know, the kind of gross one with hiccups and snot and general incoherence. at this point, they had known each other for years, and they had definitely surpassed the point of friendship (though they were both too dense to realize it themselves) meaning they had seen each other vulnerable. but never had sokka seen zuko cry like this, and definitely not because of a nightmare. now the same height, the watertribesman wrapped his arm around his friends shoulder and guided him to the bed. zuko wasnt big on giving physical affection, but he never pushed sokka away. not when the friendly slap on the shoulder became a tender shoulder massage. nor did when sokka went from tussling the mans dark hair to running his fingers through it to just simply playing with it. sokka sat and cradled zukos head into his own neck. zuko cries lessened into sniffles and then a gentle snore. sokka gently moved zuko, placing his friends head on the pillow and tucking him in.
zuko woke up the following morning, confused as to where he was. as he gained his bearings, he turned to find the source of what sounded like snorimg. he stared at the tanned man for a couple beats, processing what was in front of him. the firelord tensed when the snoring stopped, fearing some sort of negative reaction. zuko breathed out in relief when sokka simply rolled away from him and the snoring began again. zuko quietly slipped out the bed and out the room, but not before smiling fondly to himself in the doorway.
a couple days later, sokka and zuko found themselves caught up in late night shenanigans, a concept that wasnt foreign to them. they were sitting on the foot of sokkas bed when zuko stood up to dismiss himself for the night. sokka stopped him, and when zuko raised his eyebrows in question, sokka spluttered out a not so smooth joke that was just a weak attempt at asking for zuko to spend the night. for protection of course. zuko, who at this point was experiencing severe symptoms of polar bear-puppy love, said yes of course, and ended up spending the night.
when he woke up the next morning, he felt truly rested for the first time in years.
#avatar#avatar the last airbender#sokka x zuko#sokka/zuko#zuko#zuko x sokka#zuko/sokka#zukka fanfic#zukka headcanons#zukka headcanon#zukosokka#sokkazuko#zukka#atla zukka
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Comfort
Iâm still tagging you in this @coquettishcass because itâs still a continuation of my ideas based on your art, and I know youâre here for the feels :)Â
Another little story about some sides having issues and helping each other out, this one starring Deceit and Patton, cameo courtesy of Remus.
Heâs tired. He's emptily, exhaustedly tired. He's burrowed under all his blankets, his heating pad, and he still isnât warm. Heâs never warm. He is tired, so tired, but he can't sleep, won't sleep.
He shivers, curling tighter under the covers, not even his head poking out from under them, and wonders about the chances of accidently smothering himself.
Wouldnât that be ironic? After everyone has made clear how much he isnât wanted, if he were to accidentally off himself, and solve their problem for them.
He can hear his stomach rumbling, but he doesnât move, doesnât have the energy to find food. That would require getting up, which is off the table. Moving at all, is barely achievable. Just continuing to breathe takes all his will, the goal of moving is laughable.
He can feel the loathing. It crawls up his spine and settles in his stomach. It weighs him down and burns like stinging nettles over each inch of his skin. His cheeks are burning and he feels hot, angry tears dripping down his face.
If he was better, maybe they would listen to him, like him, care about him. But heâs not going to stop doing his job just because they donât like it, and maybe he would be willing to open up a little, if theyâd ever given him a single iota of a reason to trust them.
And he will never earn their trust because they only see him as a liar, as a trickster, as a villain.
He lets out a soft sob, hugging the pillow heâd slept with closer to his chest, burying his face in it. Â
God, it still smelled like Virgil, his favorite coffee, ink, paper. The pillowcase had been in the laundry when he left, it hadnât moved with his room.
Just the thought makes him choke out another quiet sob and hold the pillow tighter. He knows thatâs his fault, too, and the guilt just adds to his loathing because he misses Virgil. He misses him like one of his arms has been torn off, like his scales when they first came in, like the heat of the sun in his skin.
A quiet knock. He knows who it will be. Thereâs only one person who cares enough to come looking, who cares at all. He doesnât respond. The door creaks open anyways.
âDeeDee?â he manages to make his sniffles quieter, barely shaking under the blankets now, not that Remus has ever judged him for these episodes. Itâs their silent pact, the others judge enough for both of them. They just accept each other unconditionally. Once Virgil did, too. But heâs gone and hates them now and itâs his fault.
âDeeDee, can you at least eat something for me? Please?â the others wouldnât believe that Remus is capable of being quiet or gentle or soft, but he can be, he is now, he always is when it comes to him, and for some reason it just breaks him more. Â
âNo.â he manages to get out through his shaky voice and hoarse throat. Even that is like climbing a mountain in its difficulty.
âDee, please. Just try, just a little?â Remus is almost pleading, but he just shakes his head, summoning the effort for words.
âCanât. Will just come back up.â His voice trembles. He hates that Remus is here, hates being seen like this, hates that he is this. This pathetic lump who doesnât even have the care to move, who wonât eat, who is denying all his survival instincts when he is literally the embodiment of someoneâs survival instincts.
âDee, itâs been days. Youâre going to kill yourself at this rate.â A hint of desperation tinges Remus's voice, and he laughs. Broken, shattered laughter. Â
âI should. It would make things so much easier, wouldnât it? If I justâŠâ he chokes on the bitterness of his own words, hate, hate, hate, eating at him, tearing him apart inside, because he hurts and he deserves it.
He hears the sound of sinking out. Remus is gone. Left him, because he pushed him away. Just like Virgil. God, he never learns, does he? He truly is worthless, truly, deserves to be alone.
He hears the door again. It could be minutes, could be hours, later. No one speaks, but he hears quiet, hesitant, footsteps. Or he thinks he does, heâs gone long enough without sleep to start hallucinating.
âDeceit?â ah, hallucinating it is, because that is Pattonâs voice, and he would never, has never, come to his room. Doesnât even know where it is. âDeceit, are you⊠feeling ok?â he laughs again, that broken, edged with glass laugh that cuts his throat raw, sends tears streaming down his face, curling tighter into his pillow.
âThatâs a laugh and a half.â His voice is rough, scraped and bruised and battered. He knows how this goes. He knows the script. Â
Knows that Patton will tell him heâs wrong, Thomas doesnât need to lie, doesnât need Deceit, and he will be unable to defend himself because not even he can lie that well. He is anything but needed. He would have let go, let himself fade ages ago, but he promised Remus he wouldnât leave. He couldnât leave Remus alone like that, not after Virgil left, and it was his fault, and besides... he could wait. Â
Sooner rather than later, he knows the others will come to accept Remus. Heâs so much like Roman, heâs half of creativity, after all, and Virgil doesnât hate Remus, not like Virgil hates him. Thomas is already open to discussing the more helpful of the dark topics only Remus has domain over, it wonât be long now. Â
Heâs happy for Remus, he truly is. Remus deserves that light, that acceptance, that warmth. Remus deserves to be heard and listened to and surrounded by their love. Remus is a star, a brilliant, burning star, and soon the others will know it too. Â
Then he will be left all alone, in the dark and the cold and the quiet. Thatâs what he longs for, what he aches for, the emptiness that he will let fill him, let weigh down his limbs, let soak into him until he canât move, doesnât need to breathe, until he just... vanishes. But not until Remus is gone, and settled. Not until Remus forgets about him down here, just like everyone else, and he can go quietly and peacefully without upsetting anyone. Because even though they all hate him, he is still afraid of upsetting them. Â
âOh, kiddo...â Patton. Heâs forgotten about his hallucination of Patton. He wonders idly if heâs speaking out loud or thinking in his head, he canât quite tell the difference anymore, and he wouldnât really care either way, except that means his grasp is slipping and he cannot, will not, fall asleep. Â
âWhy not, Deceit?â He chokes back the fear that floods him, that even thinking of why not brings. Why not? Oh, what hasnât he seen, in those dreams, in the dreams that already come when heâs at his lowest, when he canât keep himself together, that drive him deeper and deeper into his own apathy, and loathing and disconnect? Â
He sees Virgil, trying to leave, wanting to leave, and instead he grabs, forces him back, locks him up, chains him, tortures him, reprograms him. The whole time he is screaming, screaming inside, screaming at himself to stop, what are you doing, just let him go, Virgil, no, please! Â
He sees Remus, torn apart by some fanged, clawed, venom laced monster, and he canât get to him in time, he canât stop the bleeding, he doesnât know the antivenom, if there is antivenom, and Remus is seizing in his arms, shaking violently, babbling incoherently, but his eyes are clear as they meet his, and he wants to scream or cry or make it all ok, but itâs not, because Remus is bleeding out in his arms, he is dying and he cannot fix it and Remus knows it too, forgiving him and saying a thousand loving goodbyes with his eyes-
He sees Logan, losing his mind, having enough of their small jabs and their inattention, a victim to all the feelings Logan has and is pretending donât exist, shifting and changing and warping like a distorted mirror until nothing Logan was left, and Insanity stood in his place, wild and manic and broken, and he couldnât put this right, couldnât help but shift Insanityâs room to the dark side, knowing heâd be blamed, knowing they would come for him and demand answers and not believe him and he would take it all, because Logan was gone, and he had to protect them, because Insanity would tear them apart in the exact same way Logan had always built them up. Â
He saw Roman, usually so proud and loud and strong and vibrant, now colored in shades of gray, every trace of emotion leaking out of him, all of his passion and strength and hope fading out as the bruised ego has had enough, canât take it anymore, as he fades into Apathy, and the others donât understand, donât even notice the difference, just continue to demand ideas and inspiration and he is powerless to help Roman, because they wonât let him anywhere near him, they donât understand!
He sees Patton, his worst enemy, his harshest critic, his greatest rival, exploding like a supernova. All the emotions are too much, too overwhelming, heâs lied to himself about the bad ones for too long, and the mindscape is torn apart by their strength and he tries to reach Patton through the supernovas exploding in the dark, he manages to take his hand, he manages to swallow Pattonâs pain, he manages to hold it all inside him as it explodes, tears him apart, tears him to shreds, and it hurts, it hurts exquisitely, and he knows it will kill him, but it wonât destroy the mindscape, inside of him. It wonât destroy Patton, and thatâs the important thing, because no one needs him, no one wants him, anyway, and Patton is more important, Patton is worth something, despite everything between them, he would throw himself in front of any danger to protect Patton, because that is his job, and Patton is needed, in a way he is not, will never be needed. Patton is wanted in the same way that he is not, and now he is gone.
He is shaking again. Shaking so hard his teeth are nearly chattering, because now that the images are there he canât make them leave, he sees them in front of his eyes, whether theyâre open or closed, and he wishes this figment of Patton would just leave, just leave him to his misery because it is only going to get worse from here, he is only going to fall apart more, and even an imaginary Patton witnessing this is too much to bear. Â
But part of him wants Patton to stay, because if Patton leaves, then it will be one of the others, and though Patton is cruel, at least he is unintentional in his coldness. He knows Romanâs fiery vitriol will burn him, knows Loganâs cold analysis will break him, knows Virgilâs biting words will lash his skin like a thousand whips from a cat o nine tails, knows that Patton is the first of a long list of cruelties his own mind will subject him to, because his own mind recognizes that he deserves the punishment, deserves the pain, deserves to be hated and abandoned and destroyed and he desperately, desperately wants to let it all go, knows exactly how easy it would be to let go, how much time it would take, exactly where in the subconscious he will hide so no one will find, not that theyâd come looking, but still, ever present, is Remus. Not yet, he has to hold on, he has to, because he wonât, wonât leave Remus, at least until Remus leaves him for better and brighter things, takes his rightful place up there, with the others. Â
He feels something. Fingers, gently teasing through his hair, the only part of him peeking out from the covers. He flinches at first, and they pause, but after a moment continue, and he realizes he hears humming as well, though it is shaky, shaky as his own voice was the last time he spoke. Or remembered speaking, he canât tell the difference anymore between thoughts and words. Â
Then the thought hits him and he jerks upright, clutching the blanket to his chest, trembling as he looks at Patton, feeling shame and bile rise in his throat, because hallucinations canât touch, have never physically touched him before, so this isnât a figment, this is actually Patton, he just said all that to the actual Patton. Â
And now... well, now he knows. Now Patton knows every one of his weaknesses, every one of his fears, every one of his regrets and mistakes and they will be used against him and laughed at later as Patton tells the others what a hopeless, stupid fool Deceit is, as if he had any more to lose, when it came to them, as if they could resent him and antagonize him more if they tried. Â
He closes his eyes and pulls his knees to his chest, still hugging his pillow around his middle, burying his face back in it, where he can pretend this isnât happening, pretend that Patton hasnât somehow ended up in his room, pretend that heâs nothing and no one and doesnât exist because if he did the shame would be eating him alive right now as he cries into a pillow that still smells of his lost best friend. Â
Pathetic, and weak, and useless, and stupid, and a waste, a waste of time, of space, of words, of energy. Â
âOh... oh honey, no.â The gentleness in Pattonâs voice makes him flinch, so different than what he is accustomed to, it throws him off guard. At least with the vitriol he knew what to expect, could brace himself, he doesnât know what this kindness means or is leading towards. Â
He feels arms around him. Pattonâs arms. Hugging him. And God it is heaven. It is warm, so comfortingly warm, the world seems muted, his mind too stunned to think, too cozy and warm and trying to process touch, being touched, he is being touched, and it is nice and he isnât cold.
Then he practically falls into Pattonâs lap, still curled tight, still holding the pillow tight, face now pressing against Pattonâs cardigan, his scent of warm, clean laundry and chocolate chip cookies, he is soft and warm, and Pattonâs arms are around him, holding him, rocking him, murmuring soft, kind, loving, words, and heâs shocked at every single one of them, because Patton isnât lying, Patton believes what heâs saying. Â
He doesnât know how long they stay like that. Pattonâs shirt is nearly soaked with his tears. Patton is rubbing circles on his back, and it feels so damn good, he canât find it in him to pull away, as much as his reputation demands it. He figures his reputation is screwed after this anyway. Â
âHow... how did you get in here?â He manages to croak out. He feels Patton let out a soft laugh. Â
âWe were in the living room and Remus just kinda popped up out of nowhere and grabbed me. He didnât say much, but he was worried and more serious than Iâve ever seen him, so I just kinda went with it. I... I'm sorry, Deceit. Iâm sorry, that we made you feel this way. Iâm sorry we made you feel like you couldnât tell us you were feeling this way. Iâm sorry we havenât... I havenât, been treating you right. I will do better. I will make sure everyone does better.â Heâs crying again, because Patton isnât lying, Patton means it, and once Patton sets his heart on something it is near impossible to stop him. He feels Pattonâs arms tighten, holding him closer, and he somehow melts even more into the touch, when had he ever been held like this? He thinks he might die, if Patton lets go of him.
âDeceit... how long?â He shrugs. Â
âThis episode? Nearly a week. Usually... usually it doesnât hit this hard. Last month it was only three. I... every month. At least one... one episode a month. Since... God, since forever.â He mumbles, sniffling, feeling Pattonâs sharp inhale. Â
âBaby, baby, baby, no. Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Iâm so, so sorry. I donât want you to fade, I donât want you to disappear. Please... please if you ever think youâre about to do that, please talk to someone first. It doesnât have to be me, if youâre not comfortable with that, just someone. Because we would fall apart without you, sweetie, we really, really would.â Heâs sobbing again, he canât seem to stop sobbing, every time he thinks heâs cried himself out, Patton says something else kind or sweet and means it, and he doesnât know how to handle that, doesnât know what to do with the care being directed his way, because no one besides Remus cares, and he doesnât show care like this, like Patton does.
He feels Patton start to pull away. The air is cold, jarringly cold, and he finds himself shivering, his skin burning where Patton had been touching it. He can feel Patton looking at him, frowning at him, and he wonders what he did wrong, this time. Â
âNothing, honey. Iâm just trying to decide what we should do first. I... Deceit, when was the last time you were hugged?â His face burns, even though he knows the question isnât intended to shame him. Â
âNot... not since Virgil... left. Before then only to help him, when he was having an attack... afterwards, to help soothe him. Barely ever.â Patton makes an injured noise in the back of his throat. Â
âok. Ok. Thatâs... I think... I think youâre touch starved, Deceit. And almost actually starving by now. And sleep deprived. So, which of those problems do you wanna tackle first?â He doesnât know. He canât think straight. He doesnât want to sleep, he hates the idea of it right now, but he wonât be any kind of coherent for much longer, and he knows it. Â He voices as much.
âThatâs ok. We can tackle two of them at once then, if you donât mind.â He looks at Patton with confusion. Â
âMind?â Â
âCuddling. The best way to help with touch starvation is to experience touch, and the best way to do that is to cuddle! It might... it might help with the nightmares, too. Help you feel safer. And if you wake up from one, Iâll be right here.â The thought of sleep still terrifies him, but he feels a little better about it, if Patton is going to stay. Â
â...ok. will... will you be ok? In here?â Patton thinks for a moment, tilting his head and pursing his lips. Â
âNot with as long as youâll be sleeping. Can we get you settled on the couch?â His face pales at that thought, because what if the others come in, he canât handle Roman waving his sword, or Virgilâs sneer, or Loganâs coldness. âdown here, Dee. As long as Iâm not in someoneâs room, Iâll be fine. I know you donât wanna move. Can I sink us there?â He lets out a breath of relief, nodding. He would, but he doesnât have the energy. Â
They land right on top of the couch, perfect aim. Immediately Patton busies himself, pulling out the futon and gathering blankets, tucking them in, humming as he quickly gets everything settled. Heâs already under them, Patton having worked around him, and he feels himself slipping. Heâs shaking again, as he lays down, then he feels Patton settle in behind him, curling around him like a cat around her kitten, swallowing him in warmth and heat and soft, and he rolls over to once again bury his face against Pattonâs cardigan as he curls tight against him. Â
Patton is stroking his hair, rubbing his back, humming softly. He feels Patton rest his head atop his own, feels him gently kiss his unruly, curly hair, usually hidden beneath his hat, and the sensation sends tingles of warmth radiating through him. It takes his breath away, it fills something inside of him that he didnât know was empty, it radiates peace and comfort and nearly overwhelming love that burns him in a good way.
Heâs barely awake when he hears Remus. He canât bother himself to open his eyes, but he hears Patton reassuring his little slimeball that heâs going to be ok, that Patton is going to make sure it never gets this bad again, and if it does, Remus has full permission to drag him away no matter what he is doing to help. Tentatively, Remus asks something, and Pattonâs voice is smiling as he affirms. Â
Then he feels warmth on his other side, feels more arms wrapping around him, hears Remus whispering apologies and mild death threats, and his own version of words of comfort and kindness, which he has long ago learned to understand. Â
He is crying again as he finally, finally lets himself fall asleep. But these tears are happy. Because he feels the warmth emanating through him, he is sandwiched between two people who somehow, somehow, love him. He isnât afraid, this time, as he feels oblivion weighing him down, and he knows, knows, that nightmares wonât dare to touch him this time, not with so much love surrounding him. Not with the promise of more warmth to come. Not when he actually, for the first time in forever, knows he has something to live for.
#sanders sides#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus#depression#touch starvation#Angst with a happy ending#emotional hurt/comfort#everyone needs a hug#and everyone gets a hug#remus sanders#patton sanders
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sometimes i love avarice too much and i feel the need to remind myself that he is in no way, shape, or form a good person
sometimes this urges me to write a fic
this is one of those times
(am i a whump writer now?)
TW for gore, suicidal thoughts, coerced suicide, major distress, dehumanisation, drug mention (if i need to add anything else, let me know)
~~~
Garlen took in every sound he could hear. The frantic crunching of leaves underfoot; his heart beating loudly, incessantly, in his ears; his own breath, quick and shallow, stinging his throat with every sharp intake. He didnât know how long he had been running. He didnât particularly want to. All he knew - all he had to know - was that he couldnât stop. Not until he was safe, and he hadnât the faintest idea when that would be. Â
He had a fleeting hope that they werenât even looking for him - maybe he wasnât important at all, maybe they had forgotten, maybe he could rest - but he wasnât about to take the risk. Â
(He squeezed his eyes shut. Empty walls, bloodstained shackles, agony upon agony came rushing back. Too much. Itâs too much.)
Just keep running. Keep going. They have to give up eventually. They have to. They have to. They-
His breath caught in his throat, and he whirled around to face the figure that grabbed him by the back of the collar. When had they gotten so close? Surely he would have noticed, right? He would have noticed someone following him, or stalking him, or whatever this manâs deal was, but no. He hadnât. And now his eyes were welling up, and he couldnât see straight, and he collapsed backwards into the dirt and tried his hardest to scramble backwards, only ending up backing himself against a tree.
âHello again, sweetheart~â The man purred, and all at once his mind was flooded with memories: the futile, desperate sound of rattling chains against the walls, the feeling of a needle in his arm, something he didnât understand injected into his veins, and the pain that came after, sharp and all-consuming, as if his whole being were falling apart. And now that heâd heard the voice, everything clicked into place. He couldnât stay away for long, could he?
Over the top of Garlenâs incoherent whimpering, the man who had ruined his life continued, nonchalant and playful. âReally, I have to commend you on getting this far. Those armed guards must have been an issue, hm?â
âI didnât- I had to! They- I- they would have- I mean, they were-â
âIn your way?â He tilted his head, smiling curiously. âOf course they were - donât get me wrong, Iâm not mad. They didnât matter to me in the slightest.â Â
âThen why-â He was choking up. Everything hurt. âI mean, I donât matter, I canât matter that much, so why-â
He sighed. âBecause Iâm not done with you,â he said, as though it were the simplest thing in the world, though it made Garlenâs blood run cold. âYou havenât fulfilled your potential. So youâre coming back, until I decide Iâm done with you.â Â
âIâd- Iâd rather die!â
It was a brash statement, sure - one that, coming from almost anywhere else, would immediately be dismissed as hyperbole. But Avarice just raised an eyebrow, laughed, and drew a dagger from his belt, waving dismissively as the figure crumpled up on the floor before him started begging.
âOh, you misunderstand, darling. Iâm not going to hurt you. In fact, think of this as a gift.â Sure enough, he tossed the dagger in the direction of his prey, watching curiously as he snatched it up and held it in front of his face. âYou can use it to defend yourself, since I respect your ability, and all. You wonât, though.â
âWatch- fucking watch me!â
He held the dagger at armâs length with both trembling hands, ready to strike, but Avarice just tutted. âSweetheart, that isnât how you hold a dagger. Here.â Â
He approached fairly easily, in complete disregard of the violent threats streaming from Garlenâs mouth, prying the weapon from one hand and folding the other around its hilt. âItâs much more difficult to maneuver with two hands,â he explained, as if talking to a child. âIf you actually want to fight back, then itâll be a lot easier if you use the weapon right.â Â
Garlen narrowed his eyes, something thatâs a lot easier to do when you arenât also blinking back tears. â...why-â he started hesitantly, immediately being interrupted by Avarice, standing up, taking a few steps away from him, and smiling.
âBecause Iâm going to give you an ultimatum, love.â His eyes shone with some sort of excitement, and just the look of it screamed danger. âOne: you use the dagger I gave you to attempt to hurt me, you inevitably fail, and I take you back home where you belong. TwoâŠâ
Garlen clutched the weapon tighter as the scientist knelt down and dragged his nail along the side of his neck, marking a small red line. âYou take that dagger, and slit your throat for me. I even marked out the artery for you. Howâs that sound?â
Garlenâs breath caught in his throat. His whole body seized up as Avarice pat his head and stepped back, watching intently for his answer, as if he were watching some sort of play. Fuck, this was a game to him. The sleepless nights, the ache in his legs, the defilement of his body with chemicals and trials he never knew the purpose of, the ardent despair that plagued every second of his life: it was all a show to him. And no matter what he did, no matter how much he ran or begged or cried, no matter how he chose or how much he suffered, he was a part of it. Just entertainment, with no agency but that which had been decided for him. And it hurt, that self-aware lack of free will, and he never wanted to feel like that again, he just wanted to stop, he wanted it to stop, he just- he just-
He held the dagger up to his neck with trembling hands - that was about the most agency he could afford, refusing to use the weapon properly, and even then, all the reaction he got was an eyebrow raise. The edge of the blade rested in the small indent on the side of his neck, freezing cold against his skin, and - if he closed his eyes - he could almost convince himself that this was a choice. That he was escaping of his own volition. He had considered it before, of course, so it wasnât too far fetched, but he would be lying if he were to tell himself that this was a choice he wanted to make. But he couldnât go back. Not now, and not ever, he couldnât go back to the pain and the screaming and the fear, he couldnât go back to wondering every night if he was real, if this was a nightmare that he could wake up from, and praying that he was right, and he knew that this was the only chance he had. Back there, he didnât even have the agency to die. Even that privilege had to be given to him, by someone who saw his whole life as nothing but a vaguely interesting theatre production. Â
âDonât worry about the pain, by the way,â Avarice called, either oblivious or apathetic to the trembling sobs coming from his victim. âAs long as you cut the right place, itâll be quick.â
Itâll be quick.
Itâll be over.
Itâll finally be over.
He took a deep breath, not wanting to go out in more of a pathetic state than the situation warranted. He could keep hold of his dignity; it was all he had. He pressed the blade in further, wincing as the skin broke, and Avarice just smiled. Â
âGo ahead and die for me, honey.â
Avarice hadnât been lying, when he said it would be over quickly. The blade slashed into his throat, spraying the tree he had been leaning against with a dark sanguine. Garlen refused to look at the figure in front of him, no matter the fascinated way he watched his eyes dilate and drain of life. So Avarice just watched, rapt, as his victim stopped moving: each spasm of the limbs, or flutter of the eyelids; the clatter of a blade dropping to the floor as he lost the ability to grip his only weapon; his body collapsing, prone, to rest against that blood-soaked tree. Â
Avarice gave an amused half-laugh, waiting a few paces back for the blood flow to stop: and when it did, he knelt down next to the body and lifted the chin, examining the wound. Surprisingly precise for someone in that amount of distress, as expected of someone who could get out of the facility without help. To be honest, he had been expecting more - although this was fine too, of course. Unquestioning obedience wasnât something he was going to complain about, especially when it gave him a scene like this.
He could explain this to Kirren. Itâs not like much was lost.
#tw suicide#tw coercion#tw gore#tw drug mention#whump#lab whump#psychological whump#intimate whumper#oc whump#i think that's all?#lmk if i need to tag anything else#avarice kiriatta
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Can I get an emergency request of some of the boys comforting you after your lifelong best friend just friend-broke up with you. Iâd like Tendo, Oikawa, and Suna as well as anyone else youâd like to add â€ïžâ€ïž
My best friend of 15 years just texted me saying she doesnât wanna be friends anymore basically, and itâs got me really messed up :( thank you so much, I appreciate you!! â€ïžâ€ïž
Iâm so very sorry to hear that happened to you, hon :( friend breakups hurt a lot, especially oneâs that lasted such a long time. I hope that things get better for you soon and that this headcanon can bring you just a smidge of comfort right now â€ïž take care of yourself, make sure you drink your water in the least
When Oikawa finds out that this happened, he immediately drops everything and goes to your place. You can barely even open the door and ask what heâs doing here before he pulls you into a quick hug. You had texted him for comfort, but ever the overachiever, Oikawa finds a way to one-up the simplest things you asked for and comes to you. It leaves you sniffling and clutching onto his shirt while he strokes your hair and tells you itâll be okay, that heâs so sorry this happened to you.
Heâd stand with you in almost silence for a few minutes by the door, letting you sob into his shirt and soothingly shushing you while he strokes your head, pressing quick kisses to the top of your head and squeezing you in a hug every few minutes to let you know heâs still there. When you grasp tighter onto his shirt or move your hands, heâll whisper to you, tell you itâs okay, that heâs here and he isnât going anywhere. Heâll make sure you have your favorite snacks for tonight while the two of you bundle up together. He wouldnât dare leave you right nowâ heâd stay as long as youâd let him.
Suna isnât the god of comforting like Oikawa. In fact, heâs not really good at it at all, but what he is good at is listening. When you call him, voice cracked and sniffly, he immediately comes to your aid. Heâll drive around with you, get something to eat because he isnât sure if youâve eaten, and park the car at a park somewhere that nobody else is at before he turns to you and tells you that you can talk to him. Of course you know you can, but youâve been so quiet this whole ride, barely even looking at him when you got into the car.
When you cry, heâll lean over and bring you into a light hug, gently rubbing your back and almost awkwardly pressing a kiss to your head. He isnât the best at what heâs doing, but heâs trying and it makes him hurt to see you so sad. When you calm down and can properly explain things to him, heâll listen and nod, ask you questions along the way, even move to the backseat with you to hold you if you needed him to. Comforting may not be his strongest suit, but heâs there for you no matter what and he always will beâ something he assures you of when you finish explaining everything.
TendĆ is much like Oikawa when he hears you tell him that your friend ditched you. He knows what itâs like to be alone, to feel alone, to have nobody, and so he drops everything and immediately goes to your place. Heâll keep you on the phone with him so youâre not too alone right now, even if youâre quietly crying in the background and mumbling incoherent words as he drives to you. When he gets there, he pulls you in for a tight hug that makes you break down in his arms.
Heâll stay as long as he possibly can with you. Holding you on the sofa, making sure that you eat even if he has to sit you on the counter with him while he cooks. He doesnât mind if youâre down in the dumps or you cry all night, TendĆ will take care of you. Heâll make sure you eat, make sure you drink water when youâre done crying, and heâll listen to anything you have to say. No electronics, you can consider his phone off the second that he gets there. In this moment, the only thing that really matters to him is you and making sure youâre going to be alright.
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