#because I've grown SO attached to these families and the thought of getting to stay with them longer is so nice

[grassbreads]

Oh my god. I've been reading (and really enjoying) the book Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich for a while now, and I'm finally almost done with it, so I went to do a little reading about Erdrich, and.

She wrote 3 sequels???

I've read this entire book and I had NO idea that there were sequels. My goodness.

[swiftlymurmurs]

I've seen a lot of people voice disappointment over this Game Changer season finale and while I personally wasn't really bothered by a lot of the criticisms (I thought the Ratfish was an interesting added game mechanic and I never really care who wins or loses so his judgements not aligning with mine made no difference to me) I do think it's very interesting and I've spent some time thinking about why it doesn't work for so many. Some thoughts: Why is this Eric guy even here?

Tim & Eric were a popular tv comedy duo in the late aughts alt comedy scene. Sam and many of the writers at Dropout are sketch comedy nerds who, in 2007, were freshly at the start of their comedy careers, and probably see them and the larger [Adult Swim] environment they were a part of as a huge influence.

Why has it maybe aged poorly?

As far as I know, their popularity came in the early stages of about a decade of quite cynical, surreal comedy that also spawned the "lolrandom" era. While huge and fresh at the time, I think my generation (gen Z, the main viewerbase of Dropout) has grown pretty tired of this style and favours sketch comedy that's more clever, witty, and emotionally open or wholesome. At least, that's a movement Dropout has very much steered into with their roster of comedians and it's what the viewers expect.

The parasocial thing

It's no secret that Dropout actively promotes itself as a tight group of friendly comedians who you are invited to get to know, expect, and love when they show up. They don't abuse parasociality in the way you see, for example, younger audience oriented youtubers shoveling merch do it, but they absolutely make use of it. Most of the moments from this episode I've seen people gush over or post positively about are those where the cast recognize each other's styles, reference their relationships, and just generally make it known how well they know one another. When a total stranger enters the picture in an episode where the cast already have a barrier to their regular banter AND is given so much power over the game, they may look like an outsider or even an enemy to the happy little family people have gotten so attached to. Especially because his role is explicitly that of an antagonist, and the cast are never given a chance to see him and maybe out their love and respect for him as a comedian. In the minds of viewers, he just stays some guy who made mean jokes about their blorbo and then left.

Conclusion

I'm always glad to see this show making big swings, and while most of them have landed, some of them are bound to miss. It's a show that prides itself on trying things the viewers may not yet know they wanted and the second it stops trying, I think it'll be all the worse for it. It's a shame to end the season on such a note, but it's been hit after hit so far, and before we know it we'll be right back into it. I love this show, I love this cast, and I'm excited to see what's next!

[lanadelnegan]

Hi I’m kinda shy about this one. So the reader has been traveling with dead city cowboy Negan for awhile and she’s liked him for a long time but she’s a virgin and she wants him to take it.

Don't be shy bb, I am a slutttt for dead city Negan. Basically, think of this as if you were in Ginny's shoes, but you're 18.

Our Little Cabin

Dead City!Negan x Reader

Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, virgin reader, vaginal sex, fingering, family death (reader's mom), reader seduces the hell out of negan, extreme age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 50ish), masturbating (both), masturbating in front of Negan while he refuses to touch you, daddy-kink, breeding kink, cuddling, pure filth

A/n: If you like slow burn, sexual tension and a "hard to get" daddy Negan, this one is for you. I promise one day I'll finally write a fic without daddy-kink, but today is not that day.

"Can we go home now, Negan? My legs hurt." I complain, dragging my feet lazily through the leaves.

He stops and sighs, resting his hands on his hips. I stop too and stare at him. That damn cowboy hat.. I swear he wears it just to tease me.. and it's working.

"Yeah, doll. Sun'll be going down soon anyway."

"Ugh thank god." My head falls back dramatically and he chuckles as we start our way back.

Negan took me under his wing a few months ago when some assholes attacked Oceanside, killing my family and everyone I know. I was lucky - if you wanna call it that - enough to escape. I ran into Negan in the woods and it's just been me and him ever since. I'm thankful for him, considering I never had a dad or father figure growing up. My mom was my best friend.. and now she's gone. But at least I have him.

I've grown attached to Negan over the recent months.. But something feels.. different lately. I'm not sure what suddenly changed over the last few weeks, but I've caught myself imagining things about him that I shouldn't. Even touching myself to the thought of him. I feel so guilty afterwards, but I can't stop. I've never been with anyone.. never kissed anyone.. never touched anyone. And my body is screaming at me for it. I can't even look at him anymore without imagining what he looks like under his clothes.

"Why're you so quiet, kid?" He glances at me as we walk.

Ugh, I hate it when he calls me kid.

I shrug. "Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"Doesn't matter." And I've convinced myself it doesn't. I'll never be with someone romantically, because for one.. it's the apocalypse. It's not like I have a school full of hot boys lined up ready to ask me to prom. Not that I'd give them a chance anyway. I'd probably be more into the teachers. And second, the man I want would never think of me that way.

"That's not true."

"You don't even know what I'm thinking, so how can you say that?"

"Anything you think about - worry about - matters to me, y/n. So, spill."

We finally make it back to our little cabin. We've been staying in it for awhile, stocking it with food and supplies. No one has found us yet.. It's kinda nice. But I won't get used to it. Because nothing good lasts forever.

I throw myself on the couch dramatically, as if our walk that we've done a hundred times now could've killed me.

"I don't know... I just, I feel like most kids - people - my age have already experienced more in life that I have."

"Like?"

"Sex." I blurt before I can stop myself. I look to Negan to see his reaction, but he's surprisingly not that alarmed. His eyebrows are raised as he studies me, probably more shocked that I actually had the balls to say that in front of him.

"Listen, I don't really feel comfortable doing the whole birds and bees talk with you."

My cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and I nod disappointedly.

"Sorry, it's just.. I - no one's really talked to me about it before. My mom said she would when I was ready.. but then she.. she.." I fight back the tears. I hate crying. You can't come across weak in the times we live in and I've been forced to be strong my entire life.

He looks at me finally and sighs, holding his arm out for me to come snuggle next to him. It's not the first time he's held me as I've cried over my mom. Won't be the last.

I bury my head in his chest, sniffling, as his hand rubs my back.

"Alright, kid. What do you wanna know?" He gives in, feeling sorry for me.

"Well, I know how it works, but I guess I just wanna know what it feels like." I feel him tense underneath me as he adjusts himself awkwardly.

"No boyfriends at Oceanside?"

"There were boys.. but none that I was interested in."

"You'll find someone when the time is right. You're still young."

"Well you don't have anyone, and you're.. not young."

"Jeez, kid. Thanks." He chuckles. "I did have someone. A few someone's actually. Lost them all to this cruel world." He admits and my heart hurts for him.

"Well, you have me now." I get more comfortable, laying my head in his lap and looking up at him. He shifts uncomfortably but eventually relaxes and even strokes my hair lightly.

"Yeah, I do. And nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe with me, doll." Butterflies swirl around in stomach, but I know he doesn't mean that in the way I wish he did. He sees me as a kid.. hell, as his kid. For a moment my heart sinks from jealously at the "someones" he mentioned. Lucky bitches.

"...Negan.. does it.. feel good?" I blush a little.

"Sex? .....Yeah, doll. It fucking feels good."

"Will you.. show me?" I stare up at him innocently and his hand abruptly stops stroking my hair.

He bends over, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Time for bed, darlin'." He pushes me gently up and off his lap before standing and heading to his room. The cabin is small but we each have our own rooms. His is the smaller one, right across from mine. He wanted me to have the bigger one.

I sit on the couch, feeling defeated and stupid. What was I thinking. I relax on the couch for a little longer, choosing to read a book to take my mind off what just happened. After an hour of barely keeping my eyes open, I close the book and head down the hall towards my room. I stop in front of Negan's door, peaking through the crack. He always leaves his door a few inches open just so he can hear if anything happens. My eyes widen when I notice the sheets are barely covering the lower half of his legs, revealing the rest of his body. His tan torso is exposed, showing his peppery chest hair, and his black boxers are low on his waist. I restrain myself from not jumping him right then.

I eventually make my way back to my room and change out of my clothes, throwing on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in. I can't get the image of Negan's body out of my head and find my hand slowly making its way towards my aching center once I'm finally in bed. I close my eyes, imaging Negan between my legs as I touch myself. I don't bother suppressing my moans, confident that Negan is fully asleep. "Mmm, Negan!" The sound of his name rolling off my tongue as I'm pleasuring myself brings me closer to the edge.

"Oh, Negan. Right there!" My door suddenly swings open and I snap my eyes open to see a worried Negan standing in my doorway.. still in his boxers. My hand flies out of my shorts and I throw the sheets over me.

"Oh my god, can you knock?!"

"I - you yelled for me." He says flustered. I notice the way his face reddens when he realizes what I was doing.

I gently pull the covers off me again and spread my legs a little.

"What are you doing, y/n?" He stands in front of me at the doorway, refusing to look at anything other than my eyes. That's okay.. I bet I can make him look at me down there. I like the challenge.

"What's it look like?" My bite the tip of my finger seductively at him before sliding my shorts to the side, completely revealing my pussy to him.

He glances down with a serious look across his face, like he can't believe I'm doing this. And neither can I. This is so unlike me, but I'm so desperate for him I don't even know how to control myself anymore.

The fact that he's still watching encourages me to continue. I use one hand to pull my shorts to the side and the other to slowly slide a finger through my wet slit. "I just wanna know what it feels like, daddy."

I study him closely, noticing the way his jaw ticks at the nickname. My eyes travel lower and I see his bulge through his boxers. It looks so big, but I'd be determined to make it fit no matter what.

My finger dips inside of me and I arch my back a little and moan, putting on a show for him. He stands with his back against the wall, refusing to move.

I start rubbing my clit slowly and get frustrated when he still isn't reacting. "Negan, please touch me."

He rubs a hand down his face with frustration. "Goddamn it, y/n."

"I just.. I need you. Please." I cringe at my desperate attempt to have him touch me. I need this man so bad it's embarrassing.

"I can't, baby."

"But you like watching me, don't you?"

I take it as a yes when he doesn't say anything and that's all I need before pushing myself over the edge. "Negan!" I cry out as my orgasm rushes through me. Even in the dark, I can see the lust burning through his eyes.

"Go to bed, y/n." He demands but I'm unable to read his tone. Is he mad, proud, annoyed?

I fall asleep at the thought of him giving in and touching me. Maybe if I think hard enough, I'll manifest it.. I heard that shit really works.

Negan's POV:

That girl is gonna be the fucking death of me.

She's been so flirty with me lately and I've been trying to ignore it. But fuck if she's not making it hard. Literally.. I'm hard as a fucking rock right now.

I refuse to touch my dick while thinking about her. She's thirty-fucking-three years younger than me for fuck's sake.

She's confused. She doesn't want me, and she damn sure isn't getting me. Apocalypse or not, it's still fucking wrong.

I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I shouldn't have watched her, but I couldn't look away. She flashed her fucking pussy right in my face and I just stood there.. watching her. Fuck me.

My dick is throbbing and I know I won't be able to sleep until I get some relief. "Fuck it."

I pull myself out of my boxers and immediately start stroking my dick. I think about anything but.. her. Fuck.. y/n. That pretty little wet pussy dripping right in front of me. The way she said my name when she came.

"Ahh, fuuuck. Y/n, fuck." I cum hard and fast and immediately regret it afterwards. Fuck is wrong with me.

I can't - and I won't let myself think about her like that again.

Y/n's POV:

I wake up before Negan and decide to read my book some more in the living room. It's a romance novel that I found one day in an abandoned car. I've read it four times already, but it seems to be the only romance I'll ever get in life, so why the fuck not.

"Morning, sunshine." Negan says sleepily as he walks towards the kitchen next to the living room. He grabs a handful of berries we picked yesterday and tosses them in his mouth before making me a cup full and putting them down next to me.

"Morning. Thanks." I say without looking at him.

He sits on the couch next to me. "You wanna talk about last night?"

My cheeks redden. "Nope."

"Okay, then I will." Great, here comes the lecture. "Y/n, I shouldn't have watched you. We both know that. But, I think you're just confused. It's just been the two of us for months now and you're all young and.. fucking horny and shit. But, us? It can't happen."

I stay silent, pretending to read my book.

"Seriously? The silent treatment? You sure did have a lot to say last night."

I remain stubbornly quiet, popping a handful of berries in my mouth.

"Y/n, I don't understand why you're upset right now. Talk to me."

"I'm not upset." I snap. "I'm embarrassed.. humiliated. I was stupid to think you'd ever be into me."

He sighs and I see his head drop out of the corner of my eye. "Darlin', if I was your age, I'd be all fucking over you. Trust me. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? You are hot as shit and any man your age would be lucky to have you. We can forget it happened if that's what you want." He holds his arm out again, and like always, I snuggle into him.

"I don't want to forget." My hand rests against his white t-shirt and I want so badly to slide underneath it and run my fingers through is tummy hair.

A moment of silence goes by before he finally whispers. "Me neither, doll."

I look up at him, my face dangerously close to his. "I love you, Negan."

His hand reaches up to caress my face as if he's scared to hurt me. "I love you too, baby... Just not like that."

He wipes the tear that falls from my cheek and my heart shatters in my chest.

One month later...

My feelings for Negan haven't faded; I'm just better at not showing them. We've been more touchier than usual... cuddling on the couch, holding hands when we walk, but nothing "inappropriate." We also haven't mentioned that night. It's like it never happened, which still hurts when I think about it.

I get done bathing myself off after dinner and slip into my usual sleepwear before crashing to the bed and pulling my book from the nightstand. I could quote every line in it by now.

I start to drift off right before a loud boom hits right outside my window, following a bright flash of lightning. I try to fall asleep, but every time I doze off, another loud boom jolts me awake. I toss and turn for an hour before deciding to do something I know I shouldn't.

I crack Negan's door open slowly, trying not to wake him and gently slip into bed next to him. I also may or may not have taken my sleep shorts off, leaving me in just my pink panties and black tank top. I ease underneath the covers and lay facing him. He's usually a light sleeper, so between the thunder and me sneaking into his bed, I'm surprised he's not awake.

I'm completely still for a good ten minutes, making sure he's still sound asleep before I make any movements. When he lets out a little snore, I slowly slide the blanket down off of him. I imagine myself reaching over and running my fingers through his thick chest hair. I keep sliding the covers down further and further, careful not to wake him, until I get to just below the waistband of his boxers. My eyes trail from the deep v in his abdomen to the black hairs peaking above his underwear and I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch him right now.. to slide my hand down his boxers and feel him. I've wondered how big he is for so long.. trying to steal glimpses of him through his pants when he walks, or catch him with the covers down while he's sleeping.

I decide to pull the covers slightly further down and my mouth gapes open at the sight. He's hard.. so hard that I can see the outline of him through his boxers as it threatens to poke through his underwear. My mouth waters at his size and I know if he ever put it in me, it would definitely hurt like hell.

After I've stared at it long enough to feel like a total creep, my eyes travel back up his body and I almost yelp when I see his head is slightly turned and his eyes are watching me curiously, as if he's been waiting for me to make a move.

"I - uh.. The thunder.. I got scared." I explain.

"Nice try, kid. Go back to bed."

"Negan, please. Just let me sleep here. Nothing weird, I just.. don't wanna be alone."

He sighs and that alone tells me he's going to let me. I hide my excitement as I turn over, facing away from him and snuggling into the covers. They smell like him.. musk and leather.. and the scent makes me practically feral. He's still on his back, but my ass is barely touching his side. It's hardly anything, and it's not like we haven't cuddled before, but the thought of my ass so close to him sets my insides on fire.

Another lightning strike hits outside his window this time and I flinch a little, not purposely meaning for my ass to press into him even more. He doesn't react and I wonder if he's already asleep.

"Negan...?" I say softly.

"Hm?"

"Will you hold me?"

"Y/n, you are seriously pushing it. Go to sleep."

a few minutes go by before another boom echoes in the distance and I jump a little again.

He sighs heavily and turns over, draping his arm over my waist and pressing his body firmly against mine. His dick is pressed against my ass, but it's not as hard anymore... and that hurts a little.

"Go to fucking sleep."

I hold his hand tightly against my lower stomach and embrace this moment with him. I want him so bad that I can literally feel my vagina throbbing. If it could speak, it would be meowing like a cat in heat right now. I close my eyes and imagine him sliding in me from behind. I get a little too lost in the thought and accidentally arch a little, grinding my ass further into him. I feel him grow to full length against me and the feeling is enough for me to squeeze my legs together, desperate for some pressure down there.

"Where the fuck are your shorts?" He says in a deep and sleepy voice.

I giggle as he breathes heavily into my neck before whispering again.

"What the hell am I gonna do with you, baby?"

"Touch me?"

"I'm already touching you, y/n. My fucking dick is basically between your ass cheeks."

"Not yet.. my panties are in the way." I slip my panties off my legs smoothly and discard them on the floor.

"Y/n." He warns but before he can tell me no, I'm bare from the waist down and pressing my ass back against him.

"Trying to give this old man a heart attack?" He chuckles deeply.

"I can try harder than that if you want me to." I tease.

"Fuck, baby. Go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."

"Like what?"

"...Like pound that pussy so fucking good you'll never think about another man's cock but mine."

"If you love me, wouldn't you want to be the one to give that to me for the first time? Wouldn't you rather it be you than some asshole who doesn't care about me."

He doesn't answer, so I keep pressing him. I place my hand back on top of his resting against my stomach and slowly slide it lower towards my aching center.

"Don't start something you can't finish, darlin'."

"Oh, I'm very determined to finish." I spread my legs apart slightly to guide his hand over my wet center. His middle finger easily slides between my slippery folds and we both moan at the feeling.

"Goddamn. Fucking dripping for daddy. He growls in my ear before leaning up a little and pressing his lips to my neck from behind. I move my hand from his, letting him take control - finally.

His finger moves back and forth between my wet slit, gliding over my clit every few seconds and making me moan each time. His other hand slips under me and up to my neck, gently squeezing my throat.

"This what you wanted, baby?" He breathes in my ear and chills spread over every inch of my skin.

I nod quickly as I feel my orgasm build from just his light touch. He hasn't even put a finger in me and I'm already on the verge of tears.

As soon as his finger rubs tiny circles over my clit, I lose it.. moaning out for him.

"Thaaat's it, cum for daddy, babygirl."

"Negan!" I scream out as his hand goes from my neck to my mouth, muffling the sound.

"Don't need the dead hearing us, doll."

He kisses my neck once I've soaked his fingers and then brings them to his mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, this pussy tastes so good I might have to eat it everyday."

I turn around in his arms to face him. My hand goes up to hold his face and my fingers play with his gray hair. He kisses my forehead before meeting my gaze.

"This is so wrong, baby." He strokes my cheek gently.

"Can't be wrong if it feels this good."

He tilts my chin up to press his lips against mine. It's so much better than I ever imagined. He knows exactly what he's doing, and even though I've never kissed anyone, he takes the lead and I'm thankful for it. I moan into his mouth when he deepens the kiss, his hand gripping the back of my neck now. The feeling of is tongue in my mouth makes me clench my legs again, and I think he notices because his hand on my neck travels lower until it reaches the back of my thigh. He lifts my leg over his and his hand slides to my ass, squeezing lightly before his long fingers tease my entrance from behind.

His dick is pressed into me painfully and I can't wait any longer. I need to touch him. Feel him inside me.

I reach my hand inside his boxers and pull out his big, hard cock. I try looking at it under the covers between us.

"You've never seen a dick before, doll?"

I shake my head no and admire him. It's so perfect.

He closes his eyes as I stroke it. "Fuck. So innocent, baby."

He kisses my neck while I pull on him even more. "You sure you want this, baby?"

I nod. "Yes, please. I've been wanting this for so long, Negan."

He lines himself up at my opening, my leg still draped over his so that he's in between my legs.

"Once we do this, you're mine darlin'."

"I'm already yours."

That's all he needs to hear to finally push the tip past my opening. I've never had anything inside of me other than a finger, and the feeling of his thick head pushing through me and stretching my walls has my mouth falling open.

"Tell me to stop, baby."

"No, keep going. Please." I beg.

He slides deeper and deeper until he's buried inside me completely. He stays still, letting me adjust. and kisses me through the pain. A pain that feels so good. I kiss him back hard, scratching his back while grinding my waist pathetically against him repeatedly. I moan in his ear and give him the go ahead to start moving. He fucks me deep and slow at first, letting me get used to him.

"So fucking tight baby."

He growls in my ear and vibration of his deep voice sends chills through me again until my pussy flutters around him.

"Holy fuck, doll. Do that again."

I squeeze my cunt around him again and he lets out the hottest moan I've ever heard. Not that I've heard a man moan before, but I just know that his are the hottest.

"I won't last if you keep doing that, baby." He warns and the thought of him shooting his load inside me has my head spinning.

After a few more thrusts that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head, I feel myself reaching my orgasm again and hold him against me so I can grind against him and ride it out.

"Negan, Negan, oh my god.” I breathe out as I push myself so hard against him that my clit rubs against his pubic bone creating the friction I need to send me over the edge.

"Goddamn." He thrusts into me faster and harder. "Gonna make me fucking cum already, baby." He tries to pull out but you tighten your leg around him so he can't pull away.

"Cum in me, Negan. Please." I cry desperately. "I love you. I want all of you."

He kisses me hard before his hips come to a halt. He practically yells out when he shoots his load deep inside me. "Ah, fuck! Babyyy."

The sound of Negan cumming is even hotter than his moaning from earlier - I didn't think it could get any better but holy shit. We're both a tangled, sweaty mess while our hearts beat out of our chest.

We eventually fall asleep with our lips still touching and his softening dick still inside me.

I don't even worry about the possibility of what could happen in the future.. I know I'm safe with Negan.. Here in our little cabin. He gently strokes my hair as we drift back off to sleep.

BOOM. The thunder crashes outside again, but this time I don't even flinch.

"You're not scared of thunder, are you, doll?"

I smile against his chest. "...No."

The End.

Brb, going to take an ice bath.

[yesimwriting]

Match Burns

A/n saltburn rewired a part of my brain

also my original idea was way too long for a one-shot so now i'm splitting it into 2 (maybe 3?) parts, if you'd be interested in that pls lmk lol

Summary: Despite your charm and kind disposition, Oliver has never been able to let himself be fond of you. Not with the way that Felix gravitates to you and your obliviousness to the attention. When you're invited to join him and Felix at Saltburn, his wariness of you morphs into an oddly suffocating dislike, until he realizes how to turn you into a way to get 'in' with Felix.

Pairing(s): eventual felix x reader x oliver, current oliver x felix (unreciprocated) and felix x reader (unreciprocated)

Warnings: potential typos (i'm tired yall), first time writing characters so potentially ooc?, canon-level toxic thoughts/plotting, some canon deviation (felix is alive and well to me and it's staying that way), oliver lowkey hating reader,, but kind of in the grown up version of a kid pulling another kid's pigtails when they have a crush lmao

----

The qualities that make the others adore you, that leave them with no choice but to treat you as some kind of dorm hall trapped princess, are the parts of you that make it difficult for Oliver to tolerate you.

You may not be the heir of some great fortune, the kind of commodity that can only be created through generations of pristine breeding and a lifetime of wealth that comes attached to that kind of pedigree. But you do have something.

His peers may see your self sacrificing nature in the ear you're always willing to lend or the time you're willing to give away without a second thought as instinctual kindness. But Oliver knows how to look beyond careful facades, the stained glass people use to warp the way they're perceived. He knows that your too sweet smiles and soft eyes are just your forms of social currency.

And the most off putting part of it all? The only person that can get away with pretending to not notice the way people react to you, is you.

Sometimes, when his thoughts drift to you without his permission, Oliver convinces himself that it's impossible for anyone to not see your softheartedness as the compensation that it is. And then someone--Felix, says something that is so transparently devoted, Oliver knows that it's worked. Give people what they want, and eventually you'll ensnare them.

Oliver let himself believe that he was finally reaching the peak of Felix's favor after being invited to spend the summer at his family's estate. Then, two days into his stay, Felix informed him that you'd be joining them at the end of the week.

The thought of you and your sense of humor that always seems to toe the line between witty and sarcastic; and the warm feel of your hand on his, or anyone's, arm, because when you listen you do so with your entire body; and your bright eyes that seem to see through everything but yourself, at Saltburn seemed to take something from this away from him. You didn't even need a sob story or to flash an indicator of something in desperate need of repair to get invited.

You were just you, and that was enough.

The way Felix told him only strengthened his chargin. She's friends with you, isn't she? I've seen you two together at the library.

The two of you. Not something that Oliver chose. You appeared one day at his side, on a too warm day for late November in Oxford. A too crowded library had the universe dropping you onto his lap. He accepted your presence because of the way the world seemed to light up for those around you.

But now there are no crowds of admirers to divide the attention. There is only Felix and his family, and with just two guests being invited to spend the summer, it'd be easy for the ultra wealthy to turn this into a competition for favorite pet.

It's also more than that. Alone here, it was easy to pretend Felix's attachment to you didn't exist. But now--now he could easily be the second favorite out of a set of two.

----

There was only one part of your arrival that Oliver was looking forward to, and you stole it from him.

He wanted to witness a crack, a wavering in your assuredness. The size of the estate would get to you, would make you--for once--seem small. You'd hesitate, maybe even see Felix in a different way that'd have you rethinking your friendship.

Your eyes had widened, a combination of shock and awe meshing together behind your gaze. Oliver could feel it, the moment that you'd reveal yourself as susceptible to shrinking in on yourself...and then your eyes met his, and the look vanished before it could fully take root.

You grinned at him and then at Felix, abandoning your luggage next to the car that picked you up before approaching them with unashamed enthusiasm. You pulled each of them into a quick hug, your warmth an ache against him. You didn't attempt to suppress your joy until Duncan appeared, standoffish as ever as Felix introduced you. That was just enough satisfaction to make Oliver want it more.

He's still thinking about it now, imagining just what it'd take to leave you vulnerable. You don't sense the resentful nature of his thoughts. You never do. Not even when Felix tells you that you'll be staying in the room connected to his through a shared bathroom.

Felix suggests giving you some time to rest before dinner. You accept the offer, tired from the back forth traveling from the UK to the US. Your visit to your mother had been so brief, you accepted Felix's offer so quickly. Maybe there's more tension in your family than you've admitted.

"She likes you a lot." Felix's low tone snaps Oliver out of his thoughts. It's a strangely nervous statement that doesn't make sense. You're friends with both of them, and if Felix means the statement in the romantic sense, he's wrong. Oliver's in the habit of taking note of the way people see him, and he can't remember instance in which you've ever looked at him like that.

He could see you feeling that way about Felix easily. You're around Felix often and while there is an underlying hint of stiffness when you're around him, it isn't a sign of dislike. You're determined to like him less, you're dedicated to not loving him. An amicable, but ultimately pointless goal. Who doesn't end up loving Felix?

Oliver doesn't know where this conversation is going, so he decides to keep his response simple. "She likes you, too."

"N--" Felix starts to deny the point, but realizes a full dismissal wouldn't be true. You do like him, it's just--it's different. "She trusts you." Felix shakes his head once, still uncertain. "I know we're friends, but sometimes, especially when we're alone, it-it feels like she sees me as a match that's starting burn too close to her fingers."

There it is. Oliver can't blame you for your precautions. Felix has turned the heads so many women--and some men--and he allows them to hang around him openly. His desirability, his options have never been secret. And your only overlap into his world is going to the same college. Oliver's even heard of you deciding to spend the night alone instead of with Felix because you don't always feel safe at those kinds of parties.

You're playing it safe, like a very good girl from suburbia, USA. It's your way of surviving, but Oliver can't quite respect the choice. You're smart enough to realize that loving Felix is like playing with matches, but you're not strong enough to realize that the proximity would be worth a few burns.

"I know we're a little different, but I don't want her to think I'd ever make her do anything." The obliviousness in Felix thinking that this is just about social circles is endearing in an odd way. "How'd you two get so close, anyway?"

Oliver isn't sure so close is the right way to phrase things. Sure, you're attentive and a little touchy, but that's just how people like you move through the world. Besides, if anything, Oliver thinks you choose his company so often because he's never given you the kind of desperate attention everyone else gives you.

Oliver forces a smile, pushing against the thought of being the one to bridge the gap between the two of you. It twists at his stomach. "What? Are you asking me for girl advice?"

Felix cracks a grin, playfully nudging Oliver with his shoulder. "You know how I meant it."

The words are light, but still another attempt at getting a concrete answer. There's an edge there that Oliver's familiar with, an implication of a feeling he's gotten used to. That chest tightening, what's so special about them? And now the Felix Catton is viewing him in that light.

Personal emotions aside, this--you--could be more useful than Oliver thought.

[greg-montgomery]

Hi! Sorry for bothering, I have a request if you don't mind, but I have a thing to say too. I downloaded tumbler just a week ago, and I've been in love with everything you've written. Literally, you can't even imagine how much. The dynamics between Hotch and Reader are >>>>>>>, not to mention the Jack-Reader bond, which, honestly, is healing my inner child, lol.

If you have time, of course, and if you wouldn't mind doing that (I really don't wanna bother you) could you write something with this plot?

The team has to share a room for a case, and Hotch had to bring Jack because Jessica couldn't be with him. Hotch, since he was with Jack, had decided to take the room alone, but when Reader asked Emily to room-share, Jack insisted on staying with Reader. Then, you know, there's only one bed... And while Hotch is showering, Reader ends up comforting Jack, and they fall asleep together, cutely. When Hotch cames back, he asks Reader for cuddles.

I'm sorry if that's too long or if you don't wanna write it, it's totally okay, really. Sorry for bothering again <3

hii! i just wanna say you mentioning about 'healing your inner child' really touched my heart. like this is the biggest compliment i could ever get? thank you for telling me! i love you and i hope you like this <333

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Are you ready to play uno with me till 3am?” you grinned at Emily, your hand squeezing hers tightly.

Her own grin revealed that her answer would be positive, but she didn’t have the chance to actually reply. A tiny voice rushed to respond on her behalf.

“No!”

Aaron turned to look at his son with a surprised expression, watching him running to you and grabbing your hand that was holding Emily’s.

“Stay with me instead,” he whined. “Please, Y/N!”

It was endearing how attached Jack was to you. Just a few nights of babysitting to help out your boss were enough for the kid to consider you as one of his best friends. And of course the feelings were mutual.

Still, you weren’t sure how to respond. Jack accompanying his dad to a work trip was already unconventional, but the three of you sharing a room? It felt way too intimate for a boss, his kid, and his subordinate.

“Sweetie,” you said, squatting down so you could be face to face. “You’ll be staying with your dad.”

“There’s room for you too!”

You let out a sigh, unable to say no to the kid’s puppy eyes. Your own eyes searched for Aaron’s, finding him staring at your interaction amused. At least he wasn’t mad.

“Only if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” he said.

“Oh no, not at all,” you reassured him. Getting up, you took Jack’s hand and walked close to Hotch. “But are you sure you’re not uncomfortable?” you asked him quietly.

“Jack loves you. We’ll be happy to have you.”

“Okay then.” You gave him a sweet smile, and the two of you laughed at the sound of Jack cheering.

--

“Come here, little man,” you ordered Jack with one eyebrow raised, even though you both knew it was all very much an act.

“You said we’d play uno!”

“No, I said I’d play uno with Emily, who is a grown up and can stay up till late. You mister, should be sleeping already.

He pouted at your words but you wouldn’t have it. “Come here, and I’ll tell you as many bedtime stories as you want.”

“Promise?” he asked, stretching out his arm and raising his little finger.

You hooked yours with his, “Promise.”

Aaron was still in the shower when you and Jack crawled under the covers. You worried about making room for him, since you would all have to share one bed. The situation was so domestic and intimate; it felt as if you were a real family. A part of you wondered if that was the way things were meant to be.

Jack’s little head on your chest, shook the thoughts away and reminded you that there was a bedtime story waiting to be told. So you pulled him even closer to you, and started playing with his hair.

“Once upon a time there was a little country girl. Her mother had a little red riding hood made for her, so everybody called her Little Red Riding Hood…”

You weren’t sure how many stories it took for you and Jack to fall asleep. You hadn’t even realized you had fallen asleep until you felt some movement on the bed, which was Aaron struggling to get just a little bit of your shared blanket.

“Sorry,” you whispered as soon as you were awake enough to figure out what was happening.

“It’s okay. It’s too small for all three of us.”

“Yeah…” you said, feeling almost guilty.

“We should probably move closer so it can cover us better,” he suggested and you couldn’t help but grin.

“Just say you’re jealous and want cuddles too,” you teased him.

“Fine, busted,” he said, obviously not caring that you had found out his true motives. “Now both of you come here.”

He stretched out his arm and you and Jack were snuggled up in his embrace in no time.

[pinkaditty]

How will the TWST characters react to you having to leave? (Pt 1)

summary: Crowley had finally lived up to his promise. You were going to go home. All he needed was around a month to get the mirror set up for your return. Your eventual departure made each of the TWST boys turn into a ticking time bomb.

a/n: okay. so. i watched a tiktok today on my fyp. and i was inspired. i wrote this in hours and grappled with whether or not i should post it bc... well, i have a lot of requests piled up...! but, in the end i decided, why not? its my blog and ill do what i want with it. not to worry though, i am still working on your asks, i promise. i won't post part two of this (even though it's already written) until i've done at least 2 more asks, so no worries! i do see your requests, and i am working on them!

cw: creepy behavior (kinda), drugging, manipulation, and angst. i think that's all!! mc is mentioned but has no pronouns nor physical attributes mentioned.

minors... are actually allowed to interact with this post specifically. i don't mind it this time. NOT THE REST OF MY BLOG THOUGH. MINORS THAT INTERACT WITH MY NSFW POSTS WILL BE BLOCKED. thanks!

HEARTSLABYUL:

Ace:

He really has a hard time with it. Like, a really, really hard time. Once news reaches him, he almost can’t handle it. The anxiety that the thoughts of your departure cause will eat him alive. It will eventually get so bad that it prevents him from living in the moment, or enjoying his time around you. He falls into a depression, losing motivation to go on, keep living, or keep having fun. The wind has been taken from his sails. His grades slip as the weeks pass, but he can’t be bothered to care. He won’t show up anywhere unless it’s where you are. Despite his inability to enjoy anything anymore, he still spends time with you because, somewhere in him, he hopes you will be too attached to leave. He won’t do anything to damage, destroy, or hide the mirror, but when it comes down to it, he will plead with you not to leave right in front of the mirror on the day you are to go. He will also look the other way, should it end up mysteriously disappearing or broken. He refuses to be the culprit, but he will do everything in his power to make you stay, so long as it’s within the rules. Even begging. Please don’t go. You’re not all he has, but you’re all he wants. Please don’t leave him. 

Deuce: 

Recognizes the importance of family and knows what it’s like to disappoint them or be separated from them. He doesn’t want that for you. But at the same time, he considers you family. The real question is whether he will put himself and his feelings for you first, or if he’ll put you and your feelings first. He grapples with this a lot. He’s not selfish, and has no desire to be, but he found himself wanting to be selfish with you. He wants to keep you around, at least for a little while longer. A month is not enough. Whenever he passes by the summoning room, and sees that dreaded mirror, a rage awakens in him. The urge to return to his old ways burns within him, and for a moment, he can see himself punching the mirror, shattering it to pieces, forever ruining the chance you have to return home. But then he imagines the despair you will feel, and he is left with an empty hole in his heart. Should that mirror end up missing or broken, he will do everything he can to help fix it or find it. He knows he must let you go, and he will, but he will not be happy about it. He will clench his fists and mumble goodbye and try to act like it is all right. It is not. It is not alright. 

Riddle: 

He also recognizes the importance of family, but to a lesser degree. Rather values friendship and found family more, which is what spurs his desire to keep you around. You were a part of his found family, the one he desires to keep. Sure, he had to get used to having you around, but you had grown on him a lot. Far more than he wished to admit. His heart breaks at the news. What was he going to do? He’s uptight. Can’t bring himself to break nor bend the rules, so he won’t. Instead he puts on a mask and slightly distances himself. He acts pleased for you, happy that you have a way to return home, at last. The thought of sabotaging you doesn’t even cross his mind, but should he find out you have been, he will help you. He knows what is best. Come the dreaded day, when he watches you walk away, his heart will crumble. He will spill enough tears to create a river. He will not beg you to stay. He will not convince you. He will not do anything to prevent you from going. But he will cling to the sleeves of his ceremonial robes and bawl quietly. Why did his found family have to leave him all over again?

Trey:

His heart just sort of… sinks. It doesn’t hit him immediately, the despair of you leaving, but it approaches. When he finds himself baking sweets, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he finds himself scoring well in class, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he’s hanging in the Heartslabyul common room, and thinks of you, it hits him. It hits him over and over and over again until he can’t do a single thing without somehow connecting it to you and thinking about your eventual departure. He starts to spiral internally, despite usually keeping a cool head. Just the thought of you leaving will have him grip his pen so hard it snaps, pouring far too much sugar into his sweets and staring down at the ruined mixture, staring up at the ceiling of his dorm at night wondering how time continues to pass. He’s so far gone, so out of it, yet no one else seems to notice because they’re all so wrapped up in their own heads. He won’t beg, he won’t cry, he won’t plead, he won’t break anything, so long as it’s someone else breaking the mirror. But if you leave, the blood may rush to his head and he may find himself fainting, the shock of it all finally reaching him. Is this what loss is? What it feels like?

Cater:

No. Oh god, no. Immediately his spiral starts. He already knew he shouldn’t have become attached to you, knowing that you would have to leave. But the longer you stayed, the more he opened up to you. And the more he opened up to you, the more he liked you. You were Ramshackle dorm’s Prefect, or more like “perfect” if you asked him. There was something so fitting about you to him, and having someone leave all over again… At this point, he should be used to it. But he’s not. He never will be. He knew opening up was a bad idea, he knew indulging himself in this friendship would lead to nothing but despair, he knew, he knew, he knew. The guilt and anger at betraying himself and the building feelings he harbored for you eat him alive at night, and haunt him during the day. However, should that mirror end up broken, he won’t exactly do anything about it. If it doesn’t break, of course, he puts on a brave face, acts like everything’s normal, but he’s so far in his own head he doesn’t even realize how clingy and attached he’s become. He will act normal to the end, even wave a final goodbye as you leave, and will return to Heartslabyul like nothing’s happened. When he’s alone, the tears come. He cries harder than he’s ever cried before. Everything’s back to normal, but now he realizes he never wants normal ever again. Every day, he misses your chaos. Why can’t you come back to him? You were perfect, not normal.

SAVANACLAW:

Leona:

To hell with rules. This herbivore may not have been his favorite at first, but it’s not quite like he can imagine a life without them now. Instead of fear or sadness, he feels anger and entitlement. He should be getting what he wants. He’s a prince, for seven’s sakes. He may not be any type of inherent heir, but he had his rights, and the way he saw it, that also gave him the ability to do whatever he pleased. It’s not like you even spoke about your past a lot anyway, or the world you came from. It didn’t matter more than him and his need to have you nearby. Nothing mattered more than that. He soon hatches a plan to try and destroy that mirror; either through breaking it with his fists or turning it to sand, he would do it, and he wouldn’t care if you knew it was him. As long as you were here, by his side. If all else fails, he will prevent you from even approaching that mirror. He won’t kidnap you, he’s not crazy, but he might just block your way or try to convince you to reconsider. If you remain hard-set, he may become angry, but the more stubborn you are, the more the despair will finally grip him. He may even break down and beg, hoping that the humility of a prince will force you to feel guilt and regret. He could never have cared for an herbivore this much, but it was you. He can’t let you go. And if you really do leave, he won’t sleep at all for weeks.

Ruggie:

Will 100% act nonchalant about it, but on the inside he’s freaking out. He immediately goes into hyperdrive, and will do anything and everything to get you off his mind. He studies until his mind melts, stays after classes for extra tutoring, idles in the cafeteria, hangs out with friends, and whatever else he can possibly think of doing that means he gets to avoid you and the thought of you leaving. May even go as far as starving himself so he can think of food and water instead of you. Of course, this all fails because no matter how much he denies you, he still sees you. He still knows you’re around. He caves at long last when he cannot ignore your presence any longer. He goes to see you all the time, to make up for time lost. Every minute he can spare, he’s with you. Doesn’t think of breaking the mirror, but won’t stop Leona if he tries. He’ll look the other way, because just as badly as you may want to go home… he wants you to be here with them. If you do end up leaving, his heart will be empty as he watches you go. He won’t so much as hug you, but wave a weak goodbye and wish you well. He crumples in the time that follows and is a hollow shell of who he once was. It could’ve been different. You could’ve stayed.

Jack:

He’s an upstanding character. He has a moral compass and knows what is best. He is also stubborn and hard to sway. That said, every single day of the month that leads up to your departure, he finds himself standing in front of that mirror for some time, contemplating. He could break it. Technically, he could. He could just punch it and no one would be able to pin it directly on him, at least not immediately. That way, you would be here. You would have to stay. It may not be the best outcome for you, but he could be a shoulder to rely on. However, he shakes his head to rid himself of such thoughts and ends up scampering away from the mirror, lest his thoughts get the best of him. Every time he lays down in bed, he tries to resist it, but then he finds he can’t sleep. So he creeps around to the summoning room, looks that mirror head on, and battles with himself. In the end, he does not break it. He has a hard time not doing it, but in the end, he knows what’s best. He will inevitably run into someone attempting to sabotage you, but he will be far too caught up deciding what to do to stop them. He will inevitably fail to stop a sabotage, but the guilt will claw at him, and he will do all he can do to help. Should you go, he will feel happy that you are returning home, but squeeze you very tight for a little longer than usual. The tears will come when he is alone, contemplating on that mirror, staring at his fists and imagining if they were bloody and stuck with glass. What would have changed?

OCTAVINELLE: 

Azul:

Is as cool as ever externally, but freaking out internally. He tries to play it off to himself as being concerned about outstanding debts, or bemoaning about less free labor, or even worrying about what will happen to Ramshackle if he can’t get his hands on it when no one but Grim resides in it? Oh, the horror…! Or, so he tries to say. In reality, he actually can’t stand to see you go. Sure, it hadn’t been very long, but you’d been through quite a lot together, and you had become quite reliable. It was nice having someone he could depend on, trust in, and enjoy one another’s company without the looming threat of becoming disinteresting, like Jade and Floyd. He’d actually come to like you. Perhaps more than that. Before long, he stops moping and starts thinking of ways to get you to stay. He even enlists Jade and Floyd’s help, fully aware they already have their own tactics in mind. He doesn’t care what works, he just hopes something will. He scribbles up contracts, some that would be appealing to you, and give you more benefits than him, but in small fine print reads: “Upon signing this contract, the signer agrees to remain in Twisted Wonderland for as long as the contractor sees fit.” He makes so many that you feel guilty turning him down. It gets to the point where he is begging and pleading with you not to go through that mirror. Not to leave them all behind. If it all fails, he collapses as he watches you go. He returns to his office and rips those contracts to shreds. It was all for naught. All for naught. For the first time in his life, he feels as though he’s drowning.

Jade:

Oh, he cannot let this happen. He cannot simply let you leave. Not when he’s grown so fond of you! He’s not letting you leave him behind. He puts on a brave face, as though he’s self-assured, but in truth, he’s shattered. He feels hopeless. Of course he knew you had a home, but he did not expect you to leave, so soon, and so quickly. Maybe he didn’t want you to leave at all. No matter though, this could be fixed. When Azul entrusts him and Floyd with similar tasks, he can tell that Azul is just as desperate to keep you here. They work mostly independent, but as long as something works, none of them mind which one’s plan did the trick. Jade uses his signature spell on you to pry the truth from you. When he finds that even the smallest part of you does want to return, he finds himself sinking. He must stop this, he has to. A twisted idea is born and soon enacted on the day of, when he encourages you to have a final meal he’s prepared. When you finally collapse, he takes great care to ensure that you won’t make it. But, should you be found and carried to the summoning room, assuming you are in a deep sleep, it will have failed. No surprise will show on his face, and when you finally wake to leave, he will nod and smile, wishing you well. His hands are curled into fists and he is boiling with anger. His room will soon be trashed and he will be shaking with rage. This could have changed. It could have all changed.

Floyd:

Little Shrimpy? Leaving him behind? No way! He’s already pouty about this, but somehow he is assured that you won’t leave. As though he trusts that whatever plan he puts into action specifically will stop you. This is why he is the only one seemingly totally carefree. For everyone else, the stress shows somewhere: in their eyes, in their expressions, in their hands, in their jaw, in their movements, in their behaviors… somewhere. But for Floyd, it just can’t be found. He is 100% carefree and confident that you won’t leave him behind. He intends to make sure of that, no matter what he must do. Of course, he does pout for show around you, complaining about how you have to leave, and might even blubber about it to earn your sympathy. When Azul puts him and Jade up the task of making you stay, he’s elated because he already has the ball rolling. You have to stay - no ifs, ands, or buts about it! And he does his best to convince you. He earns your guilt and remorse in every way he can, even popping up at the most inconvenient times to hang out so you can turn him down and he can pretend to feel bad about it. He lets the guilt fester in your heart, playing the long game. At last, when he’s certain he has you under his thumb, he waits until the day you are to leave. As you are stepping towards the mirror, he grabs your arm, looking at you with false pleading eyes, and begs you to stay. He watches the turmoil boil in your eyes, and almost feels that he has won. But if you ultimately tell him you have to go, he will go blank. His face will lose all emotion, and he will let go. In the coldest voice ever, he will murmur his goodbyes. And some time later, when he’s swimming through the cold, deep sea to get his mind off of everything, he will wish he didn’t have gills. He will wish he couldn’t breathe. He will wish he could drown.

a/n: wowie this was soooooo much fun!!! i totes forgot how much i ADORE writing angst ouuuugghhh!!! best thing ever awaaaaaa!! anyways, i hope you all enjoyed! leave a like, comment, or just reblog if you liked it!! please tell me how much you enjoyed it, i love catering to you all! shameless bit that i do adore asks just as well, so if you come up with a request, my asks are open! thank you!

[thedevilsoftruth]

“ I guess I've grown attached to Marine and Jas. We’re a ragtag bunch, but it kind of feels like a weird family. I never really had much of a family as a kid. “

*sigh*

Let's sit down for a minute. Me and you. Let's talk, yeah? Have a couple of beers, kick back, and relax.

This is a quote I've been thinking about for a long time. Long, long, looong time. There is a LOT to unpack with this. I have been meaning to make a character analysis on Shane since my first three days of playing Stardew.

TW FOR DRUG / ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND CHILDHOOD TRUAMA

Most of the things I will say here just my theories. If you want to add anything onto it, please do so in the replies/reblogs, It would mean a lot to me. I would love to hear what you have to say.

It's always struck me odd how Shane is renting his room from his aunt. Not the fact that he's renting it, but the fact that it's his from his aunt. I've always thought, " Well, what about his parents? Wouldn't he be living with his parents instead of his aunt? " Well... the easy answer to that could just be that he's simply renting it from his aunt. Maybe his parents don't have room in their house. But you see, I'm an overthinker.

Notice how he says, " I never had really had much of a family as a kid. " why would he even want to live with his parents if they weren't there for him as a kid?

Here's my theory,

Shane is really close with his aunt ( of course ) I think his parents were absent when he was a kid. If Shane is out in Cindersap Forest, under the big tree, he gives you the dialogue, " I'm attached to these woods. Lots of memories "

" lot of memories " huh.... weird....

I think Shane's parents were super neglectful to him when he was a kid. They were never proud of the work he did, and they were never around to care ( business trips ) I think Shane would sneak to his aunts house after school for shelter because at her ranch is where he felt content the most and where he could clear his head. Especially out in the forest. He would have his buddies over, and they'd play in the woods. But when he would get back home, it'd start all over again.

He'd get home, and nobody would be there. I have a headcanon that Shane is an only child, so he'd have no siblings, and the only person he could trust was his aunt.

It explains so much. His alcohol addiction, how cold and rude he is at the start of the game, his depression and including the way he treated Jas at the start of the game. Shane didn't know how to parent Jas because he never had a reliable role model to look up to as a kid.

Sure, he's poor and can't afford to live in a house with his goddaughter. That's enough to drive any man Insane, and I know that because that was all of my families issues when I was a kid. And it's still happening with my step-dad. He and my mom were both poor drug addicts. My dad had to come stay with me and my aunt THOUSANDS of times because he was homeless and couldn't afford to survive with my brother. But there's always SOMETHING that drives that person down the path of drug addiction.

For my mom, it was because she was neglected by her parents, and she had Bipolar Disorder. For my step-dad, it was because he was simply influenced. He had friends who were drug addicts and my mom was a drug addict as well. If you hang around drug addicts for a long time, you get influenced and start to take drugs as well.

It could just be that Shane is just depressed because he can't afford to care for his child, which is 100% understandable, and he lives with his aunt just because he lives with his aunt. I just wanted to put my thoughts out. Like I said, it's just a theory. If you have anything you want to add, please do. ❤️

[yandere--stuck]

I just read your yandere bulkhead and it gave me an idea.(This is all platonic btw)

What if, after a little while, the autobots get attached to the kids, so much so that they start seeing them as their sparklings.

They slowly make more adjustments for them at the base. Then they start getting more protective of them. All the sudden the autobots are hesitant to let the kids leave more and more. They start pushing away from Fowler and June. And finally, the autobots refuse to let the kids outside of their care because in their mind they are just sparklings.

This could work with or without reader, and it can be a big oneshot or a full on story. It's really your choice.

Basically all together it's platonic yandere autobots.

REAL REAL REAL SO REAL I LOVE FAMILIAL/PLATONIC YANDERES. Clawing the walls of my enclosure rn

I've thought about this so much watching tfp THEY'RE FAMILY. They love their kids ;w;

This isn't a straight up fic just spouting ideas I've had because so I hope you enjoy anyway! ^^;

---

No Cybertronian was left unaffected by the pain of war. Friends, family, allies… All of Team Prime had lost at least someone to the horrors of war. Who wouldn't be changed by that? Who wouldn't become invested in the little family of allies they'd made? Who wouldn't want to protect and care for these kids? These kids they've grown to know and love and want to protect so badly? Is that not what family is?

It started off slow. Just the bots getting closer and a bit more affectionate with their charges. Bulk picking up the kids to (carefully!) hug them. Extra hugs and hair-ruffles from Arcee. The 'bots working in 'I love you's to their goodbyes or goodnights. 

They'd be smart enough to keep up a facade about their intentions around Fowler, but it's much harder with June. She won't allow Jack to stay over or stay longer than usual, and is hesitant about letting Rafael and Miko stay, too. June argues that the kids miss too much school already because of this, not to mention Jack flaking on his shifts! But, she just won't listen to reason! The autobots can learn human curriculum to teach them! And Jack was so young, why did he need a job? Sounds like *someone* isn't good enough at providing for their young. They don't want to hurt June, just… Turn over custody of Jack and allow them to do the same with Raf and Miko without contacting the families or police or Fowler!

They'll get a consistent supply of food and drink, beds, books and games, more comfortable pieces of furniture for organics... The children take it in stride and are excited and thankful. Just as Optimus predicted.

With the trap set, the kids alone, Fowler distracted, and June secretly locked up within the base until she would come around, they're locked in. They don't even realize anything wrong until they asked to be dropped off at home, only to be met by refusal. Stern explanations and consoling reassurance.

But the kids are anything if not crafty, and will likely put their heads together to come up with a plan. Jack would be their man on the inside, so to speak. Pretend to go along with the Autobots' wishes and accept them as family until he gets enough freedom or the opportunity to call for help or make a break for it. Because as smart as the Autobots were, they were obvious. 

Even Optimus.

It was obvious that Jack was the favorite. Why else was he given the key to Vector Sigma? 

"The prodigal son," as Miko put it.

It was easy for Jack to lean into Arcee as his mom. Because he'd be lying if he didn't see Arcee as a maternal figure, yeah, but he already had a mom. He had the dynamic down. But what was hard was being alone with Optimus.

Optimus gently held Jack in his hands, telling him how overjoyed he was that Jack saw him as a father. That he adored him, his son. That there's nothing Optimus wouldn't do for him. And Jack breaks. He cries. He let's Optimus hold and soothe him as he cries, asking his Dad why he left and pleading with him to never leave again, and at some point Jack couldn't tell whether his words were directed to a metaphorical father he never met or Optimus. 

Either way, he couldn't bring himself to continue the plan. He was sorry, but he hoped Miko and Raf would understand.

Miko is Bulkhead's sparkling. There is no question. Don't get him wrong, he loves Jack and Raf, too! All of them are the team's sparklings, after all. But, Miko is special to Bulk. He wants nothing more than for her to ditch her host family and realize her so-called 'actual' family clearly didn't care for her enough to want her around! But, Bulkhead did. He loved her. And he'd do anything for Miko if she'd just call him Dad.

Rafael couldn't have known, but it was probably a bad idea to tell Ratchet about his large family and how loud and busy it is at home, now the medic is using it as a reason to keep Raf at base. Rafael's 'family', if he could even call them that, clearly didn't care about him enough to know where he went at all hours of the day, so they likely wouldn't notice if Rafael stayed there permanently - and more importantly, with those that actually loved and cared for him. His real family.

While Ratchet is probably the most stern out of the kids' caretakers, he's also the most likely to coddle and baby them. Because by the AllSpark, the eldest of them had only come into existence sixteen years ago! Compared to Cybertronian lifespans, their human sparklings were nothing more than infants! 

He loves picking up the kids and carrying them around, held up against his chestplates like he did with his child and grandchildren, but unfortunately Rafael is the only one who consistently allows him to do so.

—

If the team is able to convince themselves that the kids are their biological-sparklings somehow (separation after incubation? Maybe crashing onto Earth in pods and taking on human altforms to survive?), they are quick to turn on June, especially Arcee. How could she call herself Jack's carrier? Jack was Arcee's kid!

Arcee would be incredibly apologetic to Jack, even as he tried to make her see reason. How could she have been so stupid? How couldn't she recognize her own sparkling right in front of her? She'd lost so many… She couldn't lose him, too.

Bulkhead would assert that he and Wheeljack were Miko's carrier and sire (not necessarily respectively). He'd have to catch Jackie up to speed, but Bulkhead was sure Wheeljack would come to remember the child they almost lost. He'd have to.

He knew Miko would be mad for a long while, but it was only because she didn't understand and didn't realize that they were really family. She'd come around and things would go back to normal - better than normal. He'd hold and hug her often, for as long as she allowed before she starts kicking and squirming. 

It hurt seeing her angry at him. It hurt so deep when she shouted that she hated him. But it made it all worth it when she finally broke down into tears, realizing that Bulkhead did care about her. No matter how bad it got. He wouldn't throw her away. Bulkhead was more of a Dad than her actual father. Maybe going along with things would just be easier. Less sad.

Ratchet claimed Rafael as a grandchild. He thought he lost his child and all her sparklings, but… No. No, one managed to escape whole in protoform, somehow. And that was his dearest Rafael. Something about the look in his eyes and the rusted color of his hair… His spark still aches from the pain he'd brought unto him, before Ratchet knew. How he had nearly failed him. Had almost lost the last of his family. How could he have been so blind?

But, no. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Ratchet would somehow be even more coddling than if he thought the kids were completely human. Would try to scruff them, hold them while bundled up in blankets they had snatched, never allowing them to be out of his sight when under his sole care.

I think Bumblebee would either side with the kids or just be so glad that Raf and the others wouldn't be leaving again that he wouldn't want to help. It's like Rafael said, they're family. Brothers, right? Family doesn't leave each other behind.

Optimus is definitely the most restrained out of the Autobots, but still as endlessly loving. They are not just the hope for their people,  but for him and his friends, as well. Optimus thanked his lucky stars every day that he somehow stumbled upon their sparklings and their family could be reunited.

At least, that's what he'd think when he's able to keep away bouts of regret and lucidity.

[tired-parrot]

I think the reason why Buddy Daddies gets me so emotional is the fact it's a family where each party came from rough backgrounds. It was purely accidental, and at first it didn't seem like it'd work out. But over time they've all grown to love eachother and actually be a family. The thing is, there are people who don't want them to be family. People who are against what you are, simply just by existing. It reflects real life too, two men rasing a child? Some people are against that notion. Just fuck man, this anime hits me in my heart, people who just want to be a family. I cried the past two episodes because I see how much Rei wants this family, I see Kazuki working so damn hard to be a good parent. I see Miri happy that she has people in her life that care about her as much she does them. I hope they have a happy ending, they deserve to be happy, to live their life as a family. I thought this would be a silly show I'd laugh at but I've genuinely grown attached to them, this anime has captured my soul.

Its not a perfect anime, it's not the best anime I've seen, but this anime has heart. It has love, and it shows that family can be built from the weirdest of ways. I wish it got more time to explore the ideas it had, I hope we get to see more content of them when it's over. I love this silly anime, and man I hope, I hope so much that they all get to stay as a family.

[juniorig0327]

Thinking about godswap AU (one last time because I already have three AUs I want to write and I need to get my thoughts together.

I had to think a lot about this not gonna lie. Because one thing about godly parents in PJO is that godly parents influence a child's personality quite a bit (which I personally don't like but whatever). And it's kind of limiting on what I could do. I think if I do actually write this it would be following the canon (simply because it's the easiest to do and I don't have to think a lot lmao). So I guess I could go over the cast and what I think their godly parents would be. (Part 1 because I've officially decided).

Percy - Now as for Percy I've been thinking about it as much I lowkey wanted to do Zeus!Percy I don't think I'm going to. I just grown to not like the idea. I think I'm just too attached to Percy being a son of Poseidon lol. I have been recently swayed by Hades, Nemesis, or Hephaestus as his godly parents for some reason.

Now I HAVE been thinking possibly doing like something based on this fanfic I read where Percy was the child of ALL of the big three kids cuz Sally slept w/ Zeus Poseidon and Hades but I don't think I'd do something that crazy. (I also thought about Orion and how he was made and eugh).

I'm so indecisive and it's lowkey showing.

I do have a slight HC I might use to make this work for my self indulgent reasons (godswap AUs are purely for my self indulgence borderline crazy stuff so). Anyways the HC is that the Jackson family is actually intensively connected to the godly world and pantheons (specifically Greek and like Aztec). So he just has a bunch of randomly godly bloodline from like everywhere. So maybe he's like Frank and has a godly gift from Hades.

Poseidon and Nemesis would be his two (mamma mia) godly parents, Nemesis appearing to a bitter Sally after Poseidon just- left. And maybe Percy is just a legacy of Hephaestus (demigod Sally??) and instead of Leo, Percy got his fire (thinking it would be a post Mt. Helens thing after seeing his grandson nearly die he decides to give him a gift and help him out.) That's also him slowly discovering Hades gift on Calypsos island (and possibly staying much longer than expected while he tries to figure out what the hell is going on).

Annabeth - Okay so for Annabeth I actually have two candidates: Apollo and Prometheus. Apollo is the God of Knowledge which makes since and I feel like her godly gift instead of it being a cap it would be like a special bow and arrow or something (not sure).

As for Prometheus, he's the Titan of Forethought and Fire (Kinda?). I feel like it would make the dynamic between Luke and her interesting especially when she gets claimed and everyone's wary of her because of her connections to the titans and Luke. Maybe her being able to see glimpses into the future (in certain situations, maybe only her own plans?) Nothing too ridiculous. Maybe she can only see possibilities or maybe only the forethought only applies to herself and can only applies to others the more she knows them.

Despite this I'm actually leaning towards Apollo (not because I want to make this as easy as possible for me to write). But I feel like Annabeth being shunned and people being wary of her doesn't fit her so I'm thinking Apollo (maybe having her Patron being Athena??)

Grover - Now this one on the other hand idk. Demeter!Grover sounded sort of cool but I'm not sure. I kind of wanted to give him a godly parent but I feel like it takes away from his whole Pan arc which was his main arc so now I'm not so sure. Might keep 'em a Satyr.

Luke - Now I actually got this from a poll of a post but Hades!Luke or Dionysus!Luke is definitely interesting. I feel like it would change the dynamic of Percy and Luke completely, especially hades. It would also require some tweaking of the prophecy which it would not be necessarily the next child of the eldest gods but just the one that fits the mold I guess? Noticing how it also fits the evil hades stereotype for his kid to be the bad guy lol. Hades possibly refraining from claiming him until maybe like right before his quest with a smug look on his face but Luke just ends up doing... nothing. And he's sort of pissed at Luke because "wdym you're not the child of prophecy??"

Ethan - Still going with Zeus for this. I really liked my Zeus!Ethan idea so I want to stick with it for sure (https://www.tumblr.com/juniorig0327/760067385645580289/zeuspercy-and-possible-siblings?source=share)

Nico (& Thalia because I don't really have any ideas for them yet) - Ah yes, Nico and Thalia. Now there's a few reasons I sorta don't have an idea for them.

One, they're godly parents are sort of dependent on Percy. Two, I feel like a huge part of their characters are being big three kids (unless i exploited the loophole in the prophecy and having the elder gods be The Big 3 + Demeter, Hera, Hestia + Aphrodite??)

Hypothetically if I did do that though I'd probably make Nico a child of Aphrodite with slight water affiliation or maybe have him embody the war-like epithet.

As for Thalia, I think if I kept Percy a son of Poseidon, Thalia would have to be a daughter of Zeus. The only other big three kid I could see her being is a Poseidon Kid to be honest.

That's it for my rambling (for now). Just uh, ignore all the other godswap posts maybe? (I kinda dont want to delete them).

Hopefully my last post for today (I've been saying that to myself alot today lmao).

[yanderelovlies]

So I've been playing this game called "The Tale of Food". The title might sound silly or odd, but it's a good Gatcha game.

You play as the Master of Kongsang (male or female) who, after a defeat from an unknown enemy, sets out to gather all the lost soul foods to bring peace back to Kongsang.

The game is only a few months old, but I've grown to really like it. It think later down the line, they are gonna make a romance aspect, but as it stands right now, it's more Fire Embelm Heros. Though it does have a little bit of Genshin aspects such as unlocked voice lines and background story, the higher the heart level you have with them. They are also starting to release costumes for characters.

However, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because 1. I love sharing my interests with everyone. 2. This man right here

His name is Shredded Jerky (I don't think the food souls have actually names), and not only his he is my favorite character, but he has Yandere potential.

He is a shadow puppeteer whose puppets seem to be alive. They don't speak, but show an aray of emotions with their actions. He says he is the one controlling them, but I think that's only part truth.

My theory is that his puppets are souls of people he has met. I'm not sure if he tricked them or their life was coming to an end, and they wanted to continue living. So he turned them into one of his shadow puppets that he travels and performs with.

Now hear me out. If he was Yandere, he wouldnt have a problem Turing people he doesn't like into puppets. Not only does it increase the puppets he has. but it's to keep you safe. The way that man was looking at you? He couldn't take chances. He is also very good at hiding it. You would realize people around started disappearing left and right until it was too late.

He would charm you with his silver tougne so you would never see him as a danger. Only as a good friend or possibly more. If you were close to your family, he wouldn't harm them. Just use his charm to keep you away.

"Oh, love It's dangerous to travel so far. With all the rampant corrupted food souls. How about we stay in here and enjoy each other's company instead, hm? Look, I even got a new puppet."

He is also a very touch starved. Before he met you, he kept everyone at arms length. He felt he couldn't afford attachment till he met you. Now he wants all your willing to give, and can't get enough of it.

.

anyway 👀 that is my thoughts and opinions. I would love to talk about it more if anyone is interested. Also! if you decided to pick up the game, let me know! we can add each other!

[pink-tonic]

Suspicious🔪

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Warnings: None

When I make it to school, I can hear chatter about the nurse.

"Did you hear that the school filed a missing person report for Mr. Kana?"

"What happened to him?"

"He must've grown tired of us."

"I hope he's okay."

"I wonder if he'll be on the news?"

Everyone wondered and worried about the nurse. Some thought he would come by next week, but others pointed out the missing person report and the fact we might or might not see him again.

I wish I could do something, but all I can do is wish that he comes back eventually.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

I continue on with the day like usual. I keep hearing talks about the nurse, and what might happen if he doesn't show up by next week.

Some say that we won't have a nurse at all until the original one shows up. Others say that we'll just get a new nurse. Some think he'll be back by then, but others think that he won't come back for one reason or another.

The curiosity within me makes me wonder where my classmates are getting this news. The last bell of the day rings, and I walk out into the hallway. When I step into the hallway, I see Jonzu walk by me, and I get his attention.

"Hey, Jonzu! I've been hearing about the missing report about the nurse, but I'm wondering if it's true?" I ask the leader of the photography club.

"Oh, about that. A news article came out a few hours ago. It's very short, and it's vague in details. But it's been reported that the nurse was alerted as missing by the school. This is because he didn't show up for work today or yesterday, and none of his family members know where he is," he explains to me, his own curiosity even shining through.

"That explains a lot. Thank you, I'll see you around," I tell him before leaving the school.

Before I go with Taro and Taeko, I go on my phone, and I start to search up keywords about the case. I look up 'Missing nurse', 'High school nurse reported missing', and so on. I eventually find the article which was published almost 7 hours ago.

I click on it, and I start reading. The article reads:

A few hours ago, a missing persons report was filed in the area of Buraza Town. It's reported that the missing person is a high school nurse, who failed to turn up to the school he works at for the last two days.

He has light pink hair, purple eyes, pale skin, weighs around 150, and is five foot nine.

The last time he was officially reported to be was at Akademi High on Wednesday at around 3:00pm, but no staff members have reported seeing him leaving the campus. Students who stayed after school might be questioned in the disappearance of this high school nurse.

If you recognize the description, or have any tips relating to the missing person in this article, make sure to call or text the Buraza Town police. You can give your tip anonymously.

More details will be revealed, and a picture will be attached to the article once we are able to obtain that information.

Jonzu wasn't lying. The article is short and a little vague, but the description is definitely about Kana. I guess it was filed this morning when he didn't show up for the second time.

This doesn't sit right with me, and it's not just because the new nurse has suddenly gone missing. It's because of the circumstances. None of the staff members saw him leave.

Does that mean... the nurse is still here?

But how would that work? It wouldn't make sense. Unless...

Unless it's like the murder of the first year, whose body was found on the school ground in a secluded part of the school.

And that would mean that Ayato might be involved again.

And I've realized that I've forgotten what I wanted to do. I wanted to put Ayato behind bars and prevent him from hurting anyone else.

But I've likely failed. But there can also be a chance that Ayato isn't connected at all with this case, and this was done by someone different.

Maybe the nurse isn't even missing in the first place?

…

Maybe my hopefulness is what will kill me in the end.

[ridiculoustrainsofthought]

Yes I am obsessed, but just some lingering thoughts as a follow up to this post. I know The Legend says a student (who we know now is Brian) found the script in the basement of the school, and in the true spirit of horror stories, it must have been cursed! The boy was consumed by it and showed it to his teacher, she then became obsessed with it and wouldn't take no for an answer until it was performed. But honestly? Even the legend brings up the question of if that's actually the beginning of the story. I wonder if the truth is Brian wrote the story himself, in that middle school starting fanfic writer type way where his story takes a lot from the media he enjoys, which seems to be a combination of classic literature references based mostly on Phantom of the Opera. Fitting for his character, especially since he has a wider vocabulary than the kids supposedly his own age, and while that could just be chalked up to him being at school for the last 70 years, I like the idea of him being like that in life too. But he's so awkward and tells Brooke how being a nervous rambler might be a good trait for an actor because that means when he's nervous on stage, he's just got words pouring out of him. And I've heard of that being real advice how sometimes kids with anxiety or speech problems might build confidence from acting lessons.

It's likely that Brian wrote the script and his teacher Ms. Walker was touched to see this normally shy kid want to trust her with his first attempt at art. And it's actually really good! So not only does she decide they can do it, but he should be The Phantom as it's only fair. But he's so shy and nervous, maybe she's the one who started the rumor that they just found the script because he didn't want the attention (or maybe if he was starring in it, she didn't want to make the other kids jealous.) It would also explain why she protected the script, perhaps even the original script, all these years because this was his. It would just add another layer of heartache and meaning to why saving THIS story was so important because it felt like destroying something so personal to him would be like destroying his memory. And if both were true, they must have been very close for him to want to show her the script first like he was proud of it but maybe not even his own family knew about it.

Which also makes me wonder since we realized the twist was that Brian wasn't the one pranking rehearsals and actually did want the show to go on, maybe all these years he's actually been protecting students during their shows. He did bring up he's "new which is rare" so he's definitely come out before. It's not like opening the trap door disturbed his resting place, he just refuses to go below stage despite knowing it can't hurt him anymore. I wonder what draws him out then. Just whenever someone proposes they try The Phantom again, only for it to be shot down? Was it to sometimes visit Ms. Walker with her being the "Madame Giry" equivalent until her passing and now we've got a "Meg" in her granddaughter having grown up with less fear and more fascination about The Legend? Was it whenever there was a threat like now with pranksters or bullies and Brian slips into the student body to fix things before supposedly moving away? He doesn't seem to make friends often, or maybe he means he doesn't normally get attached to students because he's afraid of being found out (he really only got close with Brooke because he fell hard and fast and felt a need to stay with her) but I wonder if he ever got lonely during the summer seasons when the place goes quiet. Or maybe he enjoys it because he has free reign of the school and that's when he got to practice his lines and act out the whole show as he kept dreaming? Maybe he just did a lot of reading. I don't think he ever went into hibernation since he actually tells Brooke later how all the lonely years were worth it since this bizarre phenomenon allowed him to meet her from decades apart.

Either way, my heart. 💔

[stars4-max]

Reasons why I think I'm certain character from twisted wonderland.... under the cut

tw — talks of starvation, isolation, death, abandonment, underlining stalking, horror, bullying... not talking of these by a lot but there are mentions so heres your warning

Idia, Malleus, Riddle, Rook, Azul

1. Idia Shroud

❝ Hey. ...So, uh, can I go now? ❜❜

— Okay hear me out. Listen. If you knew me personally or even if you don't I think you'd realize just how often I don't leave my room or go outside even if i want to

— I'm relatively always on the internet reading, playing games, drawing, watching YouTube, yknow.

— I don't go to sleep at reasonable times even when I say goodnight and if it weren't for the fact I'm tired 24/7 with no real energy I would NOT be sleeping in for even an hour. ((which happens anyway sometimes))

— I dislike irl interactions (unless I trust u a bunch) and I honestly try to avoid it as much as I can.

— I'm only /open/ to close friends(who I will see as family), my partner, or my cousin and I'd let them enter my space with no consequences

— I forget when I should eat and just avoid it whenever I can/want to because of personal reasons.

— Sometimes I forget to care for my hygiene ((dw I shower everyday when I have the will to stand))

— I put myself down faster than you can blink or I keep calling people names ((none offensive, think like... idk, tree or smth.)) to hype myself up

— I really.. and I mean really.. have a lot of family oriented trauma and if I could I would genuinely make a robotic family of how my family was before to me.

— that's not it but it gets more personal as I go on so erm

— #1

2. Malleus Draconia

❝ You aren't afraid of me. But I'm starting to become afraid...of losing you. ❜❜

— Now. Hear me out. #2

— For some reason, when I would ask my friends of what they first thought of me it was always "I was intimidated" or something of the sort and I would genuinely get so confused while looking like this.

— I don't get invited much to anything or get asked if I wanna join something a lot but theres this one person who makes sure to ask me if I wanna play games or watch videos together a lot like Malleus and Yuu ((PLATONIC YUU FOR ME DAWG. I SEE HER AS MY MOTHER.))

— I get isolated a lot in my family and if I wanna be around people I gotta do it myself (which is hard) and sit there but still be overlooked

— I'm not as in touch with my emotions as I make myself out to be, I'm very much out of them and I'm only really acting as to how I think people would want me to

— I don't understand human customs hel. Like I genuinely get so confused and be in awe when I see things others see like everyday

— I have big issues with abandonment and death when it comes to close friends (I'm talking like 4 year friendship and stuff.) or family I've grown attached to (my cousin), I'd genuinely do anything if it meant they'd stay with me ((vague spoilers lol!?))

— I take what my friends say very seriously if they aren't indicating that they're joking no matter what I sound like. That being said I make jokes unintentionally sometimes when im not even meaning to be funny

3. Riddle Rosehearts

❝ How was that? Do you understand the full extent of my capabilites now? ❜❜

— You don't have to hear me out on this one I'm a little shocked too.

— When I was younger I used to be wayyy too bossy and rude and if anyone even apposed me I would get angry and metaphorical go "off with your head"

— The only reason I woupd be so bossy and rude was because of my family and how they'd bend to my every will and encourage my behavior to others because i was a "golden child"

— especially my mom. She would see my bossy self and go "thats my mini me", looks and her personality

— As I grew older that bossy nature lessened of course but there are times i get angry when others dont have the same thought process like me and don't do something correctly in my eyes

— The only reason I don't let that bossy nature slip by is because of the fact I became my own ace and punched and told myself that I'm not the addition of my mother and I'm not the queen of the world

— of course I'll still follow rules but if they're like... unnecessary I'm not following them at all. Especially if its smth like "u MUST tie ur shoes five times" suck my D-'EYE'-C-K fr. 🐈

— I still have anger issues but I try and not let it slip past either. There was a time I got so angry that I was shaking and I had to be held back from attacking someone ((metaphorical "off with your head"))

4. Rook Hunt

❝ Non... Speak not. At this point, I can hear your inner voice just by gazing into your eyes. ❜❜

— I'm not as shocked by this

— For the other three it's more personal but for rook its in all caps PERSONAL. I see beauty in literally all things even if it truly is the most ugliest thing in space

— I can watch people from afar without getting caught exactly but enough for someone to get restless if I want them to be

— There are times I find information of someone on accident and I will be going deep into it. Like deep into it and then I'll forget it because it's not anything needed at that moment

— People either feel safe talking to me or unsafe and I cannot explain why bc even I dont know.

— I would wear outdoor boots for/with everything if I could and ik it would make people scream in horror.

— talking about horror i would watch detailed horror movies just to say how beautiful it can be and the symbolisms.. etc.

— I can also read characters kinda well??!?! and write them sorta well???!?? idk how to explain it but give me enough time with watching a character and I'll tell you exactly why I think they act the way they do or think the way they do or feel the way they do or how they would react to xyz, etc.

— even when I or my friends dont like someone I don't just base my reaction on that ((like I'm not a fan of neige or vil but if you told me to choose between the two I could not. both of their characters are good and if you wish I can even try to explain how.))

— I had a phase where I would speak in one language for a while ((spanish)) but i forgot what I used to say however half the time it was always me sayinf "i love you" to others i loved

— I called someone my butterfly once i think???? Cant remember who

5. Azul Ashengrotto

❝ What do you think? I have remarkable potential, don't I? ❜❜

— IF YOU KNEW ME IRL SINCE BASICALLY BIRTH YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

— I used to get bullied for a lot of things, my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes, how i act, my glasses, my grades, how my moods would change drastically, my gender, etc

— So even when I was younger than I am now, I would see if others needed me to do something so I could gain favors or just get blackmail to raise over their heads for them to do smth for ME

— I was a people pleaser and a people eater no in-between.

— Unlike azul I didn't have a floyd or jade with me and it was just me myself and I

— LIKE azul I got a lot of people indebted to me lol.

— I would change myself and how I acted with people irl and on the internet to get literally every favor i could. I would know everything abt someone and they would feel like they HAD to help me with smth bc of that or bc i would show my more pathetic side

— I got so insecure of myself that I would try to take down any pictures i had of myself so that I could be "free" of the embarrassment.

— my family wouldn't help

— unlike azul I would do a lot of things to ensure i was skinny and cute and nice to others perspectives that I'd starve myself... so um.... yeahh.......

[mommypieck]

Hello! I've been here for a while and seeing how much you've been through so far makes me sad that you've experienced so much sad shit. I recently came back to your blog since I wasn't on Tumblr for a while(I've been following you for sometime now) and decided to snoop around for a bit to see what I missed, congratulations on 10k followers btw🥺. Also I'm sorry in advance this will probably be long knowing how I can go on for a while.

Some things you've been through I can relate to, my family isn't a step family but it's definitely incredibly dysfunctional and can be shitty. It's almost 4am here so excuse any mistakes I make in writing this, I literally told myself if I didn't send this to you now I'm not gonna be able to later so I'm fighting sleep. Also your friendships I'm sorry you're stuck with people who don't deserve you in just about every aspect ☹️.

You seem like such a genuine sweetheart. I had an experience with a friendship I wanted to end before and I remember being the same as you were, wanting to stay in that friendship but couldn't leave because I was so attached to that person. I thought the end of the world was gonna happen when I left because I was so codependent on them. But I realized that the feelings I had when it came to them shouldn't be taken lightly, the bad feelings, every single one should never be taken lightly. I'm not gonna sit here and make any promises towards you that certain things are gonna be perfect but I can at least say that it's gonna be okay. Not just when but comes to friendships but living apart from your family. I know you've probably heard this shit a million times but you're not gonna be stuck in the same situation forever. If you have decided to leave that friendship I hope you felt the relief I did when I left mine, if you haven't decided to yet, you most likely will feel relieved even if there's always gonna be a longing for the good moments you might have had before, don't let the good distract you from all the bad.

When we all are teenagers or were teenagers, we are constantly told how grown up we have to act that we forget how young we really are. You are 19, you are so incredibly young and you have so much time to become whoever or whatever you want to become. I remember Jane Fonda saying that if you can't do something in your 20s,30s,40s or even 50s, you can still do it in your 60s. I DON'T mean that you won't accomplish all you desire now, because I'm sure you'll definitely get there, but you have a lot of time to get there, to think, to breathe, to exist, to have fun, to have new experiences.

Please remember that you haven't even met all the people who are gonna love you yet. You have so many people who will enter your life later on, as long as you allow them to enter and stay, that can and will love you so much.

If your family is shitty or weird, then you can have your own family, family is not defined to me by blood but by love. So I'm not telling you become pregnant or anything, but your friends can be your family, people you meet along the way can always become family, maybe even family members you'll eventually meet again will rekindle your family relationship.

I'm a bit forgetful (ADHD and trauma not a good combo)so I'm trying to remember what else I was gonna add omg.

You're a sweet girl, you're incredibly talented, if your desire is to become a writer then you're perfect for it already. Honestly I live by, "if Colleen Hoover and Anna Todd can write and publish those damn books, you damn well can too." And I know your books won't suck like theirs do. Full offense to Colleen Hoover fans btw🙃 I expect if you're reading stuff by mommypieck then your taste isn't bad.

Anyway this has been so long and I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll end it for now, stay safe, and I hope you have a beautiful forever because just wishing you one day isn't enough💖🥺💖.

i am at loss of words.i seriously don't know what to say. thanku so much for this message. it means a world to me really. i am so happy that i have people here who stick with me and actually care what i have to say.i kinda feel bad that you spend so much time, typing all of this. but you seriously gave me hope for better life. thanku so so so so so much. i love u and i appreciate you. thank you again.

[josefavomjaaga]

Hello! What was Eugene and Hortense’s relationship with Napoleon like? Sometimes Naps seems to give off a bit of “evil stepparent” vibes yet sometimes he seems to be decent so I can only imagine that it’s complicated (I would know, I have stepparents).

And full of dysfunctional family drama, naturally!

(Someone should make a Napoleonic soap opera.)

Anyway, thanks in advance!

P. S.

Thank you so very much, both for the question and the love - and right back at you 💖. I know I've really taken my time with this one but I wanted to find the correct quote which took longer than I thought. (I had no clue Roederer wrote so much.)

First of all: No, Napoleon is not the prodigal evil stepfather, far from it. On first glance, he even seems like the ideal stepfather, immediately taking to the two children, for the sole reason that they were related to Josephine, and despite the children’s initial animosity against this new addition to the family. Hortense in particular makes it very clear in her memoirs that she feared her mother would love them less once she had a new husband, whereas Eugène saw his mother’s second marriage as »a desecration of my father’s memory«. Both are probably very normal and common reactions; I particularly understand the kids’ fear of having to share their mother’s butterfly attention with yet another person. (Josephine often barely remembered them anyway.)

It is also unclear to me how well they actually knew this general Bonaparte before he and Josephine married. The story of Eugène and the sword/sabre of general Beauharnais is well-known, and Hortense in her memoirs tells the story of how she, at a dinner in Barras’ house, was sitting between Josephine and Napoleon, who totally ignored her, talking only with her mother. Other than that, Napoleon must have visited often, but most of the time the kids would have been at school at those occasions. And they apparently only learned about their mothers’ second marriage after the fact, through Madame Campan, who informed them of it. At the time of their mother’s marriage, this general may have been mostly a stranger to them, and in a way, he may have always remained just that.

But Napoleon made every effort to overcome the children’s reserve, and he mostly succeeded. Both children were docile and well-behaved as a rule und would, if not enthusiastically, then at least politely adapt to these new circumstances. Which for Napoleon may have been a nice change compared to dealing with his unruly family, who was giving him hell for having dared to marry without anyone’s consent. During the first Italian campaign, in his letters to Josephine, Napoleon mentions several times that her children had written to him or that he was going to send them presents. (He could not know that at least Hortense, according to her memoirs, had been coerced by Madame Campan into writing. I believe we even have Napoleon’s answer, which is held in a very amused, teasing tone.)

Things would continue in the same vein. We have Napoleon’s letters to Eugène in Egypt (»Stay in the tent, march with the artillery … don’t you dare get yourself killed, kid!«), we have Napoleon discussing Josephine’s supposed infidelities with her teenage son (Eugène probably: »Uhm, general … you do remember that I’m only seventeen? And your wife’s son? You do? Good. Just making sure.«), we have the famous scene of Josephine and her kids, begging on their knees in front of Napoleon’s bedroom door after the return from Egypt and, in one version, Napoleon explaining that he took Josephine back because he had grown so attached to Eugène that he could not bear to see the boy leave. (Though it is doubtful how much of this scene was even meant in earnest, or how Napoleon could have expected Eugène to stay with him rather than with his mother.) We have delightfully normal and funny family correspondence during the Consulate and the early Empire (»Your fat son has arrived yesterday«, »I don’t hear more of Hortense as if she were in Congo, I have to write and scold her«, »your brother is courting all the ladies of Boulogne and still not getting lucky«), and after Eugène’s marriage Napoleon resolutely demands updates on eventual first marital squabbles and even tries to set up Eugène’s daily schedule in a way for him to get enough repose and quality time with the vice-queen.

As to the material and financial side, Napoleon could not have treated his stepchildren any better. Both received wealth, honours and positions they never could have dreamt of (and probably never would have dreamt of) without Napoleon’s influence. But that already takes us to the other side of the coin. At this point I always have to think of the sentence that Lannes once wrote in a letter, in essence: »The emperor loves on a whim, which means: when he has need of you.« - Napoleon’s stepchildren had a function in his political plans, and he loved them as long as they fulfilled their tasks. And once these plans changed and they became bothersome, he did not hesitate to demand back what he had given to them (Italy from Eugène, Holland from Hortense’s son).

But there is a caveat even to the emotional part. As I’ve often mentioned already, while Napoleon called his stepchildren »tu« in private conversation, he treated them as »vous« in court and in all his correspondence. As to the other side, even in their letters to each other or to their mother, Hortense and Eugène always call him »Bonaparte« or »the emperor«. I have not come across any of them calling him, or referring to him as, their father (which is why I hate such references in novels or movies). Eugène in his memoirs keeps mentioning the enormous respect he always had, and as late as the Russian campaign a witness like Dedem van de Geldern had the impression that Eugène »was afraid of the emperor like a child«. There seems to always have been a notable emotional distance between Napoleon and everybody else.

But I feel like the most obvious indication of how unhealthy this family relationship was can be found in Napoleon’s conversation with Roederer in 1804 (?, at least I think it happened during that time, while his family was trying to convince him to divorce Josephine before the coronation and to not make her empress – for which, admittedly, there were excellent reasons). Napoleon says, speaking of his brothers:

They are jealous of my wife, of Eugène, of Hortense, of everyone about me. Well, my wife has diamonds and debts, that is it. Eugène does not have 20,000 livres of income. I love these children, because they are always eager to please me. If there's a cannon shot, Eugene will be the one to find out what it is. If I have a ditch to cross, it's he who gives me his hand. […] [And again about his siblings] They say that my wife is dishonest, and that the eagerness of her children is calculated. Well, I do want this; they treat me like an old uncle; this always makes my life sweet; I am getting old: I am thirty-six, I want some rest.

[Taken from: Pierre-Louis Roederer, »Mémoires sur la Révolution, le Consulat et l’Empire, 5th edition, page 207f. Emphasis by me]

In other words, Napoleon agrees that the sentiments his wife and stepchildren show him are fake and most likely rooted solely in self-interest. He just doesn’t care. He does not claim »You are wrong, my stepchildren do love me.« His answer rather comes down to: »At least they make the effort to pretend they care for me. You guys can’t even be bothered to do that much!«

Which does not strike me as a particularly healthy basis for a family.

But as I’ve already said, I’m still very much learning, and I’m pretty sure there’s still much to find out about the details in this patchwork family.

I hope this does answer your question at least somewhat. Thank you once more for the Ask, and sorry the answer took so long! 💖