#because I'm completely feral over these trauma kittens

[memorydragon]

Spoilers ahead. Confusing spoilers if you haven't started the novel, but if you're half-way through please scroll past.

So when I say this scene is what drove me mental years ago back when I first started reading Po Yun and Tun Hai, that reading it again even after so many years still made me feral. This was the Ride or Die moment that never left while translations were dropped and disappearing. Please understand when I say that reading again after reading the whole novel makes me 10x more feral than before. That is not an exaggeration. I am 100% not okay and these are crying in the club hours. F̴̻̹̊͑̉̿e̵̘̠͈͗ͅr̶̞̠͍̮̓̊͠ā̶͈̹̅̓͠ḻ̵͓̏͑͘.

Because Wu Yu's long, long panic attack, because when he's finally able to come up for air when the waves recede just the slightest, he's pushed back down again and again, because his 'safe' person has been taken away.

Because this 'elite' who had an easy life, just admitted he'd been dragged from the fire when he was nine years old after his parents were murdered in front of him. This person who wants to take him out of this hell and pull him back, who should be safe, is covering Wu Yu with his whole body, cradling his head and covering his eyes as a ruthless mob decends on them. Because this shouldn't be happening again - but death follows behind him mercilessly cutting everyone down but leaving him. Because dying is easy living is more difficult. Bu Chonghua's blood is on his face and this person should be safe but keeping their promise requires sacrifice. Please don't promise any more.

(Bu Chonghua was supposed to run. He was supposed to leave Wu Yu to deal with the mob. But if he'd done that, people would have died, and it probably wouldn't be Wu Yu, and he'd promised to pull Wu Yu back from this abyss. He wouldn't let the rage of the mob swallow Wu Yu like a wave, dragging him back under. As they beat him, he cradle's Wu Yu's head and covers his eyes, because he won't give Wu Yu up, not to the ocean or to fire, and I'm so fucking Normal about this.)

Liao Gang sees Wu Yu at the hospital and knows something is wrong. Something is off, this is not the meek and submissive Wu Yu they've met for these past few months. He correctly pulls Wu Yu aside and instead of admonishing him to go get checked over, he says 'hey, why don't you get checked out by the hospital because someone needs to look after Captain Bu tonight. If you let them patch you up, you'll be put with the captain.' And Wu Yu finally - finally relents and allows the hospital staff to look him over.

When the lights are off and he can't sleep because there's no light he tries to trace over the current Bu Chonghua with the memory of the child he'd saved in the past, and he can't sleep but he can finally breathe. Now he can agree that Bu Chonghua and Zhang Boming are different, that Bu Chonghua isn't just an elite who sends his subordinates to death for greater glory, but someone who wants to pull him back. (And I'm putting it more politely. I honestly love that Wu Yu is still sort of cursing Bu Chonghua out when he says this, because of course he is, and Bu Chonghua is immediately gonna chew him out for smoking. I love Them.)

But when he wakes up, Bu Chonghua is gone. The hospital bed is empty and cold, and there's a committee of directors who have come to question him. He asks where his safe person Bu Chonghua is, but they put him off, saying they just want to ask a few questions. Bu Chonghua has been isolated because there's been a death - death always follows him - and they're pushing the blame on him and Bu Chonghua. Why did Zhang Boming jump to his death? What did you say to him? Why did you survive? What right do you have to survive? He'll take all the blame on himself. He was the one who killed the suspect, Bu Chonghua didn't hurt any of the mob. It was him, it was all him, and what right do you have to speak about loyalty and sacrifice, when the hospital report on their injuries is right in front of you. They assume Wu Yu will see this is just a formality, but he doesn't have the frame of reference they knew he should It wasn't him with that frame of reference, he never had one and he lashes out. They're caging him, blaming him again, and what right do you have to talk about loyalty to someone who is on the front lines?

What right do you have to come back? What right do you have to survive?

After they sedate him and bring him back, leaving him in confinement (there's a bed, his wounds have been dressed, and there's even a tv and above average food left out for him. It's a plush confinement, only for one night. They think they're going easy on him and he should be grateful, because no one told them he's panicking and has been in danger undercover his whole life for twelve years and he hasn't been able to handle eating meat since he was a child. The lights are off when he wakes up, and he's alone. The lights are off and no one is responding when he asks them to turn on the lights. No one is there when he's progressively slipping back under the waves of panic. And when he lifts the lid on the food, all he can smell is meat.

He bites his own finger, trying to wash it out with the smell of the disinfectant from his wounds and blood, but he can still smell the meat that he spilt in his own revulsion and the lights are still off. (Wu Yu, little fish, I'm not blaming you, but please, please learn to talk about your triggers and let people know so they can accommodate you, because they would actually like to accommodate you and you're not weak because you have ptsd, you're breaking our hearts. Also, as an aside, Song Ping is actually quite hilarious in this fight. He's not to blame either, but he's making things so much worse and I love that Bu Chonghua has to yell at both of them to calm down because they're both set off on his sake)

And when someone finally comes, finally turns on the lights, they're blaming him. Look how you're acting! You're acting like a spoiled child when we've sacrifed been so nice to you! We've brought you back here, to this place you've worked for several months, your new home!

Except he never came back.

He was never brought back.

He was sacrificed for to catch the criminal. He died because his life was less important than catching someone on the wrong side of the law.

He was never asked if he wanted this sacrifice. He never wanted to be a cop. Who is Wu Yu? He's never had a name. Let him go, let him go - let him go!

He was never brought back. He never came back - Zhang Boming made the correct choice, but he never came back. The sacrifice was chosen, the promise was paid. Why did he survive? What right did Wu Yu have to survive when we he never came back.

"Wu Yu!"

He never came back.

"It's me. Okay, calm down." Someone restraining him, and he struggles automatically, but slowly stops. "It's me, Wu Yu. It's me. Just calm down."

Bu Chonghua came back. Held him above the water untll he could catch his breath. And finally, finally...

The boy left his own blood on Bu Chonghua's cheek, disappearing for twenty years, leaving only one command - Survive.

"I arrived late."

"I was just a little worried. It wasn't very late." It wasn't his whole life twelve years. It was only one nightmare. You pulled me back.

The boy who rushed off to save a child he didn't know finally appeared before Bu Chonghua again. He came back.

He came back.

[pilvimarja]

Episode 5

Lol I knew it, I knew Terry was going to waltz back into Daniel's life and pretend to be sorry for harassing him as a teenager. Wake up and smell the bullshit! And Daniel is wide awake, giving his best feral kitten snarl. I'm so proud of him.

Lol Johnny calling Terry Kreese's bridge partner :D And please don't let Johnny fall for Kreese's super transparent manipulation tactics about ~playing second fiddle to LaRusso~. He's a himbo, but he's not that dumb.

Look at Kreese, living his best life now that Terry is officially angry and wants to "wipe the mat with that arrogant little prick". Granpa looks so pleased.

But also... look at Terry already kind of taking over Cobra Kai, disagreeing with Kreese about their methods, forcing him to back away as he's addressing the students. I'm sensing future trouble in their karate paradise.

Ah, another Lawrusso date night with Daniel finally sharing his trauma with Johnny. Haha I totally thought that fancy martini was gonna be for him, but no, Daniel is drinking the hard stuff tonight.

Oh Daniel no, no, no, don't try to take over all the students. You know that's not gonna work and you know exactly how Johnny is going to react to it. Though I did expect this to happen, for Daniel to be so set in his ways, thinking Miyagi-do is the only right way to do karate when it's so obvious by now that he needs Johnny's Eagle Fang methods just as much Johnny needs Daniel's defensive moves.

THE F BOMB!!!! It went to Johnny! Poor bartender dude did not know it'd be a bad idea to interrupt an argument between two karate dilfs. And I swear to god both Daniel and Johnny get off on the bickering and stoking the fires of their rivalry. It's like foreplay for them, isn't it? You can just see the fire in Daniel's eyes the moment Johnny suggest another rematch. He wants it so bad.

I love that Daniel continues to be Johnny's unwitting sugar daddy, paying for his drinks, letting him keep the "stolen" car, cooking him manly pizza, giving him free use of his dojo.

And I'm losing it at Johnny going on a drunken Twitter rant! To his single follower who of course is Miguel :D "Hashbrown dead meat"

Wow, we made it all the way to episode 5 without Daniel setting foot inside the dealership! And he's in one of his ill-fitting suits, but I have to admit, it's not looking as bad as it did in previous seasons. But see? This is why he needs Johnny Lawrence in his life! He's too busy to be a boring car salesman and he has a reason to dress in formfitting athleisure wear. And wow, our guy is taking extra strong painkillers. I guess he must have gotten pretty drunk last night, probably doing his best to ignore his 30-year-old- unresolved Terry Silver trauma.

Oh man, poor Amanda. She has so much chill for a woman who's married to a man whose crazy karate nemesis just keep crawling out of the woodwork like cockroaches. This woman deserves a medal.

Daniel: I'm sure Johnny woke up and realized just how stupid the idea of us fighting really is :)))

Johnny: pops his badass revenge song mixtape into his Walkman and has a full training montage where he runs on the beach like Pamela Anderson, fights the Pacific Ocean and destroys cinder blocks with his bare hands. >:(((

And wow, they used the blueberry scene! It's finally officially canon!

Haha now it's Daniel's turn to rehearse a phone call to Johnny like a teenage girl who has a crush :D And just like Johnny, he's a complete idiot with the "no don't apologize, it shows weakness" thinking. Man, our karate dilfs are so dumb.

Oh wow, Sam flipping the cap of her soda just like Johnny! This is great, I love it. I mean, obviously I feel bad about her and Daniel fighting, but I like this rebellious Sam who wants to learn both techniques, because she, unlike her father, knows that you can't go through life defending and not showing up. Of course Miyagi's old "learn karate so you don't have to fight" is important and very admirable, but I feel like Daniel is consumed by tunnel vision right now.

Okay but why is Kreese glaring at Terry like he's shitting on the legacy of Cobra Kai by teaching them the Quicksilver method? Isn't this what you wanted, Kreese? You're the one who brought him back, told him he's the only one you trust to run Cobra Kai with you, and now that he's doing what you wanted, you don't want to share the title of sensei?

Oh wow. This scene with Cobra Kai cornering Hawk is really dark. Are they gonna shave his hair or...?

Time for the epic Lawrence vs LaRusso rematch of 2018! I'm so curious to see if they actually go through it and fight?? Because they both lose even if they win...

It's blowing my mind a little to see Daniel and Johnny in their trademark gis, facing each other just like 30+ years ago. Obviously, I don't want them to solve their problems in a sparring ring, but man, I really appreciate the aesthetics of this scene. Look at those old men go! Such a sessy fight! The absolute best kind of fanservice.

OH MY GOD???? Did they both just simultaneously KO each other?? I... Okay. I guess that's one way to end the fight :D But seriously, that fight was one of the hottest things this show has done. I can't wait to watch in in slow-mo in all the gazillion gifsets people are gonna make out of it.

Aaaand the karate dilfs have broken up again. Who didn't see that coming. Man, they're both such dummies, it makes me wanna tear my hair out. They're both right and they're both wrong and Cobra Kai is only going to get stronger if they continue to act like divorced exes.

Cobra Kai season 4 liveblog

This will be my Cobra Kai season 4 liveblog thread. I'm starting tonight with episode 1 and will probably have a reaction to each episode. I'll tag this thread with #Cobra Kai season 4 and #Cobra Kai season 4 spoilers so you can filter it and avoid getting spoiled.

I hope everyone has a great time watching!