#because I want him to be ANGRY and unafraid of Righteous Justice

[randomhatthief]

Fuck it I’m being mad about my character in public because doing it privately isn’t doing it for me.

I’ve got this oath of devotion paladin, right? born and raised in a temple, from a militaristic society, who found and resurrected an ancient sun deity. He is/was fully meant to be a Jesian figure for this reawakened god and the derivative cults that have popped up in the intervening centuries and THAT is going well, actually. We’re play curse of strahd, so we’re stuck in Barovia and it’s miserable and sad but there are plenty of opportunities for MY sunboi to bond with the local priests sunbois and reawaken faith in the public as we work forward through the Actual Module Stuff. I am genuinely having a great time with that, it’s fantastic to be so included in the Plot. (thank you for my life, miss dm, ily) But the ISSUE I’m having is with my plan for Character Conflict. I wasn’t THINKING when I made him that my actual friendships dissolving and that other pc’s might have full alignment-flipping mental breakdowns (v cool tho, I am loving watching her lose herself to the mounting trauma) beCAUSE I intended for his personal growth to be about Doubting Himself and Finding Himself As He Was Always Meant To Be (with heavy religious overtones) but!!!! Those elements don’t WORK if he’s in the corner crying other having to kill innocent people and mercy killing an ANGEL with only the NPCs to comfort him, y’know?  It doesn’t work because the dm can’t be the only person to interact with me, but if the party isn’t going to actually comment or comfort him or even Take Note of the Breakdown, then I’m just babbling to myself and he can have these revelations silently. Like it’s wonderful to talk to all the NPCs and have emotional moments with them, playing across from my bestie, but it’s not Going Well with the rest of us.  Lemme lay the scene: Imrath (Dragonborn, Paladin, my PC) is closest with Wixen (Dusk Elf, Barbarian/Cleric, Shifter, Glen’s PC) but Wixen has an active curse on her soul that switched her from Good to Evil, so she is being appropriately cagey and chaotic about who and what she cares about. It’s sad, but in character, and they talk about it often enough to stay friends.

Now, we have a new player, who I do like very much but don’t know well. Rest assured none of these comments are about them.  BUT ASH (Fire Genasi, Rogue, F’s PC) man I’m so disappointed. Not in the character. The CHARACTER is delightful and has depth and drama and would make such a FUN foil for Imrath to learn from and bounce off of as he moves from Lawful Good to Lawful Neutral but my FRIEND. My friend is not INTERESTED in the game anymore. They don’t talk, don’t get to know any NPCs, don’t even really bullshit with us anymore and it’s fuckin affecting me man. 

I just. I’m really disappointed. And maybe I need to modify my own characters goals to be more independent but I already chose my class last, chose paladin to balance our party (and to fight the Fucking Vampires), keep the notes for the game, do a LOT of the chatting, and make efforts not to derail the game too badly and I’m TIRED of my beloved character being pigeon-holed into the role of a charismatic diplomatic public speaker when he is MEANT to be niave, affectionate city boy fresh out of a military tin can.

[prodigiousvisions]

ALLEGED Navia voice line spoilers and a brief discussion on why I cannot abide by that regarding a certain Fontainian.

(alleged leak) - ABOUT WRIOTHESLEY: "Getting a conversation going with him is quite a challenge. Clorinde mentioned that you can work with him based on established contracts, but you should never trust every word he says. It's no wonder my dad never got involved in underwater matters before. To be on the safe side, it's best to keep things as they are."

(reverse and canon, just for comparison) - ABOUT NAVIA: "The Fortress of Meropide works with Spina di Rosula on some matters regarding supplies and logistics, but we don't have any other dealings. This isn't because I don't trust Navia or her abilities, in fact, I hold her in quite high regard. The only reason we continue to stay out of each other's way is because I wanna honor the agreement I made with the late Mr. Callas."

-

Now that's out of the way: A discussion on my perception of Navia as a character. Every motivation and call to action she has in the main storyline as well as her own questline is centered around her own rock-solid perception of justice, philanthropy, and willingness to throw herself in the face of danger if she feels that it will get her the answer she wants; regardless of her own burdens that hang over her head. She disrupts the peace of the opera house not once, but twice, lacking a care in the world about the consequences that may stem from it to correct and lend her own assistance in procuring righteous evidence to prove a guilty person (people) innocent. Navia directly engages with Neuvillette and Clorinde, despite their ties in having an indirect hand to her father's death. It may not be a nice interaction, but each time, she does not shy away from them or turn them away. She demands answers and for them to hear her. It is those two that pull away from their own reservations, and frankly, that only makes her more angry. When the circumstances is better, she is cordial and amiable to the two, extending out an olive branch with Clorinde to clear the air, as well as the talk that needs really no further inspection between her and Neuvillette at her father's grave. To emphasize: these are two people who are very woven into the history of her hero's journey and the fall of Callas (by his own decision). So why is Wriothesley, someone who is comparatively less significant and less worth what would otherwise be justified avoidance, suddenly an exception to this? That is not to say Wriothesley isn't someone who can't emit that intimidation factor and aura, but that hasn't exactly deterred her in any other scenario we've seen her involved in? Not to mention, Wriothesley literally says they have their own dealings that involve cooperation with each other. It may not be the most personable, but it's enough to be some substance to get on as acquaintances. It's enough foundation that when they do inevitably interact she will be bound to have suspicion rise as his own deterrence from her, and demand an answer as to why. To me, this only acts as yet another driving answer to push and prod. In fact, Lynette even has her own voice line about her that makes me feel as if it substantiates my feelings on this! To quote: "Though she's the new president of Spina di Rosula, her style is more like the nosy big sister next door." Nosy big sister. Often connotatively those who get in others' business and involve themselves in their siblings' affairs if they feel like they should. Unafraid, self-assured, curious and caring. Loud, annoying. Never one to slink to the sidelines if they think trouble is near.

No, they run toward it. And so she, too, will run toward Wriothesley and demand her five minutes of proper regard.

[theliterateape]

You Can't Blowfish Your Way Outta This Mess

By Don Hall

The blowfish (Tetraodontidae) is a relatively small creature with almost no capability of fending off predators.  Its defense mechanism is to puff up to nearly twice its size, and the appearance of strength and fish badassery serves to ward off creatures bent on devouring it.

Two white guys on the street below my window (I live above a bar in Wicker Park, so do the math on how many of these encounters I hear from my living room), both a bit drunk, both angry and aggrieved about something, both puffing up like the blowfish. One of them yells “I’ll kick your fucking ass!” No. No, he won’t. My experience in drunken bar fights (which is considerable but only legendary in my own mind) is that nine out of every ten guys who tells you he will “kick your fucking ass” is posing and is highly unlikely to even throw a flailing four-year-old kid punch. The guy who actually kicks your ass does it without preamble. I see protesters in lock step facing down policemen in riot gear, and they often get a defiant “Go ahead, make my day” glint in their eyes. They yell at the cops as if the solidarity of the crowd gives them some sort of protection. Their righteous anger pumps up the blood and jacks up the image of invincibility. I’m certain they are terrified on some level, knowing that pepper spray or a billy club or four cops on one protester would instantly render them helpless, but they puff up to seem unafraid. These protesters don’t look that much different from the supporters of Trump except that those raging, angry people are mostly white.  Which means they have much less to fear from the authorities given the intense racist inequity in how cops treat black people when they get loud and angry.  That said, these supporters of the Outraged, Classless Political Animals created by reality television, internet activism and the courtship of the Religious Nutjobs in the eighties, soup themselves up to seem far more scary than they are. What they are is a group of frightened, intolerant, low education Americans terrified that the tiny slice of Americana they identity with is going to be ripped from their clawing stubby fingers. We post on our social media walls the affirmations of how badass we are, how impervious to the opinions of others we have become, and I see blowfishes everywhere. Scores and scores of people who feel defenseless and, like the aforementioned fish, expand themselves to give pretense that they are not to be trifled with. An impotent rage that brews when someone receives a parking ticket or finds their car towed. The railing away at how unfair things are in a society of people solely looking out for themselves. ”Speak softly and carry a big stick.” —Theodore Roosevelt We live in a society that, since the very beginning and even before, the loudest voices with the most aggressive language tend to win. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and all that. The customer who bitches loudest gets the freebie because, in the end, it's easier to just give him what he wants than have to listen to the bloviating. When the Universe grants the food pellets to the rats who squall the most vociferously, the message is simple and obvious. Blowfish the shit out of your daily problems. Go online and type your grievances ALL IN CAPS SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS HOW GODDAMN PISSED YOU ARE! Unfortunately, when everyone is blowfishing, the din of noise and posturing becomes so overwhelming that we all stop listening to each other, and the quiet fish in the corner with the big stick is getting things done for himself. The quiet fish. Like the Koch Bros.  Like the CEOs of Monsanto and BP and Target. The invisible heads of major media. The CEOs of banks and insurance, and pharmaceutical companies. The guys who sneak in the shadows and control things with big sticks, they are the enemy of the rest of us. They are the predator fish looking for some delicious luncheon comprised of poor, ignorant, angry, and impotent people with some fava beans and a nice chianti. These guys don't bolster up a false image of strength because they don't need to — they pounce when they feel like it, and couldn't give two fucks about your rage-filled Faceborg wall or your one hundred-person protest of downtown businesses.

So... what is your big stick?

If you're living in a more rural area and you tend to see the world through a more conservative/libertarian lens, it is likely that your big stick comes in the form of weapons: rifles, pistols, knives, kevlar vests, night vision goggles. If you live in Montana, you're one of those militia, 2nd Amendment cats hunkered down in your bunker just waiting for the predators to come for you. The only problem in this perspective is that you tend to only see the government barracudas and ignore the presence of the political and corporate sharks.

If you're living in a more urban area and you tend to see the world through a more liberal lens, the gun thing probably isn't your style. You likely truck in organizing protests, online petitions, writing think pieces, holding panel discussions — your big sticks are ideas and activism. Unfortunately, just like our militia types, unless you have massive numbers on your side, your weapons are as effective as a single gunman against an army. If you don't get your ideas out to a lot of people (ie. massive publishing blocks or expansive social media reach) then you and your fifty friends aren't really gonna make a dent.

Neither stick is really that big.

Humanity is an incredibly adaptable life form. The blowfish is a blowfish, and no amount of anthropomorphic Disneyfication can allow the blowfish to change itself into a different kind of fish with different kinds of defenses. Humans can change their tactics, can change their perspectives. What is required is a shift in personal paradigm to no longer inflate the ego to defend the self and create a big stick while engaging in a pattern of focus.

Life is not like a game of chess. Chess was created at a time when people were viewed as expendable in the pursuit of power. In that paradigm, most of us are pawns, and that's just a shitty way to approach life, yes? We all want to be the Queen (the most powerful piece of the board) but it isn't likely, and in the game of chess, a pawn has to have the help of every other piece to achieve that kind of status.

Life is more like a game of Tetris. The only way to win is to continue surviving the game, piece by piece, connection by connection. The only enemy is time and the increased speed of the digital gravity. The big sticks in Tetris are patience, focus, and tenacity. The key to winning is foresight and smart choices in which pieces to drop, how to spin them and the ability to see how things fit together. Seeking immediate justice — RIGHT NOW OR I'LL KICK SOMEONE'S ASS! — is how someone loses the game.

Patience. Focus. Tenacity.

Shift your game, change your defenses. Stop being a blowfish.