#because HOW. HOW ARE THEY GOING TO CONTINUOUSLY FAIL TO BRING US STAT TESTS.

[quartzskies]

every day i work the more rage i have towards specimen processors

[meimae]

Language Learning Through Immersion: One Year Japanese Update

11/03/2021

I did it, you guys! I’ve successfully reached my very first year of Japanese language immersion! I honestly thought that I would have given up by now, but this really has been a fun and ultimately rewarding endeavor.

Studying the language has been at the back of my mind for years since elementary school, I just never really knew how to go about it before, and I always thought that I could learn it in a classroom setting someday. That someday for me was in two elective courses in university, and while those were fun as well, it did not give me the same gains that I have achieved in this past year.

It’s probably easier to quantify learning a language in a classroom setting, especially when going through a program to earn a language degree. Learning through immersion, however, I had to really consider what my goals should be on my own. Eventually, I stumbled upon an article saying that for an English speaker, Japanese was exceptionally difficult to learn and that at least 2,200 hours must be spent with the language to reach a certain level of proficiency. So I said to myself, “well okay internet, if you say so!”, and set that as my long term goal going forward.

Spoiler Alert: I did not hit that goal in my first year. I am not crazy and will never listen to Japanese in my sleep regardless of what Khatzumoto (the creator of All Japanese All the Time) says. 

I did, however, hit a total 1,226.65 active immersion hours in my first year, so I guess I’m still a bit nuts. That is 874.96 hours of active listening and 351.69 reading hours. I also did 270.59 hours of passive listening, also known as the time in the very beginning of my immersion where I was using Japanese subtitles (therefore not really concentrating on listening alone). That’s a cumulative 1,497.24 hours spent with Japanese. That’s more than halfway towards my goal! 

To further break that down for curious animanga fans out there, that’s 973 episodes from 109 anime, 765 episodes from 33 dramas, 7 movies, and 967 chapters from 107 volumes of manga (21 series). Here’s my anilist and mydramalist to see what I’ve read/watched.

During all this, I was also doing my daily Anki reps and now I have a 530 day SRS streak (includes the time prior starting immersion and only doing RTK and some vocabulary cards) and a total 8,857 sentence cards. I’ve been averaging 406 cards daily (because I’m trying to cure my leeches) and I spend about an hour per day doing reps and learning new cards. I don’t really track my time on Anki, but I do have a set timer that goes off after 1-1:30 hours.

What I haven’t touched upon at all is output. I have not gone out of my way to find a tutor or a language partner. There’s still plenty of input out there to immerse in before I even consider outputting.

Graphs, stats, and more thoughts:

Here's my current card count in my main deck (minus the cards in my new/learning queue and leeches I've been relearning which are in separate decks):

That one day in 2019 where I did not do my cards because I was seriously doubting whether I can actually stick with language learning this time around will forever haunt and inspire me to keep going everyday.

Workflow and Tips

You might be wondering, how do I have a lot of time? I started this whole endeavor in the middle of a pandemic, which eliminated the option of me going to a language school, and a slew of other things I were considering doing last year became impossible (and if anything, very scary to do in a pandemic). All I can say is that, things work out eventually if it is His will, and if I can learn a skill before everything properly settles back down again, then why not? 

I wake up at 5 in the morning everyday to either do my Anki reps or read until the time when I need to get up and I listen to compressed audio throughout the day. The biggest tip is to switch the time you spend watching/reading in your native language to your target language instead. Listen to a podcast during your commute, watch an episode during lunch break, read before going to bed, do your Anki reps in the bathroom if you have to. 

But, if you’re feeling burnt out, there is no reason for you to not take a break! I have been watching a lot of Among Us streams before bed, and I chat with my friends from time to time. Language learning is not a race.

More Stats

Here are a couple of grids of the kanji characters that I have encountered at least once in my immersion and how well I have answered them in my vocabulary/sentence cards.

It's interesting that after almost 9000 words, I have yet to encounter every single character from the Remembering the Kanji 1 (RTK 1) book by James Heisig, which teaches you the most common use characters that are part of the 常用漢字. Which brings me to the question, was writing down every single character being taught in RTK worth it every time it came up in my reviews for the first 3-ish months I was reviewing them? Maybe, maybe not. It certainly removed my anxiety whenever looking at blocks of text in Japanese, but the longer I think about it, the more I feel I should have switched to Recognition RTK earlier. Still, being able to write in proper stroke order is cool I guess, and it also helps me when looking things up in the dictionary.

Here’s the same grid but in JLPT order:

I clearly need to grind those N2 and N1 level cards! Speaking of which, I have apparently almost covered every single character that could possibly appear in the JLPT (except for the N1 which I have only covered half of) in just a year's time. If the JLPT word frequency lists I’m using are accurate, I have about 2,000 words more to go to to cover most vocabulary that could appear in the test. This makes the "10,000 sentences/words to fluency" argument a reasonable milestone to aim for for Japanese learners if said aim is only to pass the test. That said, 10,000 words is just that, a milestone. It's more akin to a comfortable level of comprehension, but not my own concept of fluency which is being able to read with ease, speak articulately, and write comfortably.

READING IMMERSION GRAPHS

My biggest motivation for tracking my stats is for the purpose of seeing whether my reading speed is improving over time. Reading speed is also easier to measure than listening comprehension which is kind of subjective, so I had a lot of fun making these. What I found is that for the first volume or chapter of whatever it is I’m reading, I always take the time to get used to the writing style of the author. My speed really improves whenever I keep reading the same topic over and over again. On the other hand and quite obviously, looking up many new words in a row and trying to parse sentences slows me down.

Manga: Reading Speed Progression per Volume

I clearly love ちはやふる and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I need to start reading longer manga. When I do, I’ll probably split this graph into less than and greater than 20 volumes. Imagine if I start reading something ridiculously long as 名探偵コナン or ワンピース, these graphs will start breaching the bounds of time and space.

Novels: Time Spent Reading per Chapter

#neverforget the time I read chapter six of Norwegian Wood for 9 hours when it took me less than half that time in English RIP. Also, my interest in Kitchen plummeted LOL. Still planning to finish it don’t worry. 

I also need to start branching away from manga and start reading more novels and light novels, too just so I can make more pretty graphs.

Visual Novels: Time Spent Reading and Daily Word Count

Also known as images that clearly show that I’ve already spent several days only reading the prologue of Island. I’m not sweating. 切那 needs to stop using words I don’t know in succession. More thoughts on this VN far into the future.

Thoughts on Immersion

I can’t really say anything else other that that it works for me, and needless to say if you’re considering this method, remember that the SRS is your friend but immersion should be your one true love.

Prior to all this, I couldn’t even read a sample paragraph from Genki without being confused to my very soul. Yes, I know, it’s embarrassing, but that’s the truth. I was way more scared of failing my Japanese classes than my actual thesis for my bachelors degree, I kid you not. I would quite literally spend all my free time in university trying to understand grammar, memorize vocabulary, and answer my workbook exercises with little to no success. 

I tried so hard to get all the grammar “formulas” into my head for 1.5 years and it only brought me more confusion. I’m never going back to traditional classroom study for language learning, but I will still refer to grammar books when I need to, and not because I feel like I need to answer 4783342 different workbook exercises like my life depended on it.

I still can’t believe it, but with immersion this statement is actually true to a point, don’t try shadowing anime/or calling your boss anime language slurs, use your common sense:

study anime to understand Japanese > study Japanese to understand anime 

Future Goals/Plans

2,200 immersion hours was my initial goal, but honestly I feel like that number could be much higher. There’s still a lot of stuff I don’t understand (news, politics, sciences, etc.), so I’ll make attempts to cover more of those things in my immersion. 

I’ll continue reading more, because that’s a natural SRS in itself. Try to read longer manga, more novels, visual novels, and light novels, and maybe news articles. 

I’ll try to mine as much “JLPT vocab” as I can before making any attempts at taking the JLPT. I noticed that a lot of the words I know don’t appear in the JLPT word lists as much, even though they appear a lot in media/daily conversation. 

Continue mining all words I don’t know because all words are useful anyway. There is no such thing as useless words. I never really understood mining only “interesting words” or words that “pop up” in your immersion. As I said in my previous blog post, 美人局 is an interesting word and I certainly caught it being said in my immersion, but in the three languages I know, I wouldn’t know when I would be able to use such a word, as compared to something like ジャガイモ which is a significantly less interesting word, but is certainly useful to know. 

_

I have managed to talk up a storm, but if you have any questions regarding my process or recommendations for new immersion material, please feel free to send an ask/reply to this post. I love hearing about other people’s language learning/immersion journeys. 

See you on my next post!

[99liv3s]

A New Shiny Breeding Method

“Breathe, Anna, you’re doing great!!”

29 year old Anna Jones panted and moaned as the next contraction hit her.  The egg, which was slightly larger than a baby’s head, began to crown at her vagina, causing a great amount of pain and pressure!  The nursery worker acting as her midwife brushed Anna’s light blonde hair out of her face, then, after gently placing her hand on Anna’s belly, she knelt down between her legs, ready to catch the egg once Anna delivered!

“IT HURTS!” “OH GOD, IT HURTS!!” Anna exclaimed!

“Yes, I know it does,” the nursery worker stated, “but you are doing great, and remember, it’s all worth it!”

Anna wasn’t sure she agreed with the nursery worker’s statement, for she had been effectively forced into this new procedure!  Of course, shiny hunting had always been a common practice among Pokemon trainers, and the method with the best chances had always been Pokemon breeding… Trainers would hatch up to thousands of eggs hoping to get Pokemon with high battle stats, or, with luck, a shiny.  Once it was discovered long ago that dittos could breed with anything, it became the custom to breed the desired Pokemon with ditto to guarantee egg types.

Unfortunately, as everyone knew, certain Pokemon couldn’t breed… it was initially explained that these certain Pokemon, usually legendary Pokemon, had no gender.  However, it was likely more complicated than that.  Scientists across all the regions of the Pokemon world had been studying this very issue, and the research had made its way to the Galar region, after a new discovery had been made.

Across the region, a small handful of humans had been born with a rare mutation that allowed their DNA to shift and be able to combine with any other DNA, including that of a Pokemon’s.  It was called a “gift” by the highest renowned professors, and it had the potential to open new possibilities. The Galar region had two Pokemon nurseries, but suddenly, one day, the nursery nestled in the wild area closed its doors.  Unbeknownst to most of the outside world, the nursery had been converted into a new laboratory, dedicated to studying this new discovery, and a new method that was made possible because of it.  Recent attempts in Pokemon cloning had been disastrous, and scientists had been proceeding very cautiously in future studies in that field, but several brilliant minds cooked up the idea that if a Pokemon’s DNA could be injected into a host with the rare condition, which they were now calling the “Ditto Genome”, combined with a cocktail of several other drugs, the result could produce Pokemon eggs in a similar manner as true reproduction, and this would bypass the obstacle surrounding legendary Pokemon.

The scientists were eager to put their theories to the test, but they needed a viable candidate.  Unfortunately, most of the humans that possessed the “Ditto Genome” were trainers, itching to complete their Gym Challenges, or other dreams, and were not available... The scientists continued their search, and then an opportunity came to them in the form of Anna Jones!

Anna had attempted the Gym Challenge but failed at the second gym.  Because of this, she became so distraught; she quit as a Pokemon Trainer and released all of her Pokemon.  This soon proved to be a mistake, as she had no other viable skills, and could not find employment anywhere.  During a typical medical checkup, she had had a DNA test run, and it was discovered that she carried the “Ditto Genome.”  Just when it looked as if she was about to reach the end of her road, she was approached, (more like abducted), by the scientists.  They brought her to the nursery laboratory, where they made a proposition: They had informed a very strong trainer in secret that they could provide him the means to potentially hatch a shiny Mew, and the trainer had jumped at the chance, paying the nursery a considerable amount of money to make it happen!

So, two days had passed to find Anna spread out on a hospital bed inside the nursery wearing nothing but a pink bra, laboring to deliver a clutch of eggs that had apparently formed after a scientist injected some sort of concoction into her via a needle to the stomach.  There were still parts of the situation even she was not aware of yet!

The egg slowly began to emerge from Anna’s vagina, and as it did so, she let out a cry of grief!  In the back of her mind, she was aware that her stomach looked like a 9 month pregnant woman, so if she was giving birth to Pokemon eggs, then there had to be more than one, much more!

“Get it out! Get it out!” GET IT OUT!!” Anna begged!

“It’s coming,” the nursery worker assured her. “Push with the contraction!”

Anna pushed and screamed, and the egg slid to its widest point. Then, with a slight squishy pop, it slid out, and Anna slumped onto her pillow in relief.  However, it was not to last!

A second, male, nursery worker that had been doing nothing but standing in the room apparently watching the entire effort, advanced forward and took the egg gently from Anna’s “midwife.”  He then turned to another female worker standing just outside the door and gave the egg to her, saying “Give this egg to the trainer… tell him nothing about how we obtained it!”

“He emptied his entire party, save one Pokemon, for this, sir,” She responded, taking the egg, “He will demand more eggs immediately so he can hatch them as quickly as possible.

As if in response to this, Anna let out another moan, feeling more pain and pressure building up as a second egg began making its way down her birth canal.

“Inform him that we’ll have another for him soon,” the head scientist proclaimed.  “Here comes the second of eight.”

“EIGHT??!!!” Anna squeaked.  “AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!”

The pain and pressure build up and the egg seemed to force its way to Anna’s opening, not caring how much it hurt her.  Anna tried to push in tandem with it, but it was happening so fast, she could barely catch her breath.  Sure enough, it began to crown, and Anna was hit with a burning sensation so awful, she was sure a Charmander had used flamethrower on her lower body.

“OW OW OW OW… AH AH AH AH AH!!”

“Breathe, honey, it’s making great progress!” The nursery worker coached.

Anna panted and moaned and cried, and after a minute of agonizing pushing, the second egg slid out of her.  Immediately, before Anna could barely glimpse what had just come out of her, the “midwife” handed the egg to the head scientist, who in turn, passed it out the door to the trainer.  Anna felt a twinge of anger, that she was going through the pain of bringing these eggs into the world, only for them to belong to a Pokemon trainer she had never met, all because she failed… all because she had this damn “Ditto Genome!”

“Good news,” the scientist said to the room in general, “The trainer just told our worker outside that he hatched a healthy Mew out of that first egg!”  “So far the experiment is a success, but we must continue for that shiny!”

“Easy for you to say,” Anna thought bitterly, as she could feel a slight build up of pressure once again.  After 15 minutes of more pain, panting, screaming, crying, and pushing, the third egg was delivered.  As soon as the scientist gave the egg to the trainer, Anna began to feel discomfort as the fourth egg struggled to make its appearance.  It felt strange, for it seemed to be the same size as the others she delivered, but it seemed she could feel the little Mew move inside of it, as it made its way through her cervix.  “Please, let this be the shiny,” Anna hoped to herself, “Please let me and this trainer get lucky, so I can end this experiment!”

The fourth egg emerged, somewhat easier than the others, so Anna was grateful for small favors, but after a few minutes, in which she had time to catch her breath, the scientist informed everyone in the room that all of the eggs produced had been hatched, and there was no shiny in any of them.

“Faster,” the scientist exclaimed, “The trainer wants to continue hatching eggs!”

“The little shit can wait,” Anna breathed, as she felt the twinge of the fifth egg begin to start its emergence.  She pushed and pushed and brought fourth the fifth egg, wondering how that trainer was hatching them so damn fast, but she had very little time to dwell on it, for the contractions to bring the sixth egg were already starting up, and Anna could already feel her body tiring out from the effort of pushing out what was essentially five baby heads.

As a result of this, the sixth egg’s delivery was not so easy!

“I can’t do this anymore,” Anna cried. “It hurts too bad, and I’m exhausted!”

“You have to,” the scientist said immediately. “Remember, we were paid a lot of money for this.”  “You will never have to worry about being poor every again, Miss Jones… This will allow you to start a new life!”

Anna knew that what he was saying was true, and she couldn’t go back to having nothing, so she mustered up her courage and strength and pushed out the sixth egg with one big push!  Unfortunately, the strain to do so seemed to “awaken” the seventh egg and it began its decent.  However, Anna found the strength to birth it as well, grunting and roaring in pain in the process.  She was comforted by the fact that the next egg was number eight, and was the last of the group!

“PUSH,” the nursery worker ordered! “PUSH HARD!!”

Anna screamed and pushed, working tirelessly to birth the final egg, and after 10 minutes, the ordeal was over.  Anna slumped onto the bed in exhaustion and relief, listening to the sounds around her, but what she heard filled her with a new sense of dread.

“No shiny,” the scientist exclaimed in disgust. “The trainer is irritated.”  “Continue!”

“Wait, what does…” Anna began, but then her heart dropped as the nursery worker advanced on her with another needle and injected it in her lower belly, muttering “I’m sorry!”  Within minutes, Anna’s stomach began expanding again, and she could feel her uterus fill up with eggs, once again.  If it was anything like the first time, labor would hit quite soon, and she was unsure she could handle it again.

“NO,” Anna pleaded.  “No, I CAN’T!”  “I just had eight eggs… I’m too tired for more!”

“It can’t be helped,” the scientist responded, almost apologetically.  “The trainer is still outside, cycling around in circles and chatting to friends on his phone.” “He wants the eggs now, otherwise he’ll start to ask questions about all this.”

Before Anna could protest, the nursery worker that had been acting as her midwife began scanning her with a small portable device.

“Four eggs this time,” she said. “Only four!” “You can do it, dear!”

“But, I CA…AAAHHHH”, Anna started, as contractions started up again!

As 20 more minutes passed, Anna labored and birthed the first of a new batch of Mew eggs.  It was just as painful and exhausting as the first births has been.  With barely time to contemplate what would happen if it took over a thousand hatches to get this godforsaken shiny, she was hit with another wave of pain.  Egg number two was making its appearance.

Anna breathed and pushed for the next several minutes, before she and everyone else realized something was wrong.  The nursery worker checked her, and then looked into Anna’s eyes with an expression of what seemed like pity.

“The egg is turned,” she said to her. “It’s coming out wide instead of long.”

“What does that mean?” Anna asked in terror.

“By all accounts, it means the egg is breach,” the midwife responded.  “It’s coming out sideways.”

“NO!!” Anna yelled, knowing what that must mean.  “Can’t you turn it or something??”

“I can try,” the midwife answered.

She reached into Anna’s vagina, causing Anna to scream!  It was extremely uncomfortable, and that discomfort turned to pure agony when the worker attempted to turn the egg inside her.  After a minute of this, she withdrew from Anna, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, Anna, I can’t move it,” She said, but Anna didn’t pay any attention to this… Whatever the midwife had tried to do seemed to accelerate the process, and Anna was bearing down, the pain that hit her when the worker reached inside her still present.

“OH MY GOD!!” “IT REALLY HURTS!!” Anna bellowed!! “I CAN’T DO THIS!”

“You can,” the midwife soothed her.  “You’re strong.” “It’s going to hurt a lot, but you can do it.”

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Anna felt the egg begin to emerge, and knew that in its current position, it would not fit through her vagina.  She pushed, and moaned, and screamed, and cried, but it was no use… the wide section of the egg crowned, and stayed there, not moving at all.  It peaked out of Anna as if taunting her and the nursery workers to get it out.

“AHHH….OOHH….UUGGHH….AGGGHHHH!”

In an attempt to assist the laboring mother, the nursery worker positioned herself and used both her hands to press on Anna’s contracting belly.  To her amazement, the combined pushing of her, Anna, and the contractions seemed to be working… the egg slowly emerged as Anna howled in agony.

“Just a little more…. Just a little more!!” “It’s coming out, Anna!!”

“AAAHHHHHH”  “PULL IT OUT RIGHT NOW!!!”

“I can’t, Anna, but you’ve almost got it… don’t give up!!”

With a final almighty scream, Anna pushed the egg out and the nursery worker caught it.  “Good job, Anna!” she cheered.

After 10 minutes, contractions for the third egg started.  Anna was sure that this surely could not be as difficult as the egg she just delivered.  “Is this one turned right?” She asked her midwife.

After a few seconds, the midwife stopped checking Anna, with a grim expression on her face.  “Yes, it is, but…”

“But, what,” Anna asked, dreading the answer.

“This egg is twice as large as the others,” the nursery worker exclaimed.

Anna shook her head stubbornly, refusing to believe it could get any worse.  “NO, It can’t be,” Anna pleaded.  “It won’t fit!”

“I’m sorry,” the midwife said to her.  “I know it will hurt a lot, but you have to push hard and get it out!!”  “There’s no going back now!!”

Anna screamed in pain as the egg moved.  It was pure agony, and Anna was sure that trying to push this egg out would tear her… maybe even kill her.  After about ten minutes of horrible pain and pressure, the egg finally began poking out of her vagina.  Anna howled in anguish as it crowned, causing the familiar burning sensation, only twice as bad.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Anna bellowed.  “AAHH!!”  “GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!!”  “PLEASE!!!”

“It’s coming,” the nursery worker said to her.  “It’s not stuck, just moving slowly, cause it’s big, and your vagina is not.”  “Push hard!!”

Anna screamed as she pushed, the egg slowly emerging.  Distantly, she heard the head scientist saying something impatiently, but she didn’t care.  The pain was too much, and it was taking all of her willpower not to pass out.  The egg moved inch by inch, and the burning was so severe, Anna was sure that her vagina had opened to the point where it would never be right again!

“IT’S TEARING ME!!” She screamed.  “I CAN’T PUSH ANYMORE!!”  “CUT IT OUT OF ME!!”

“No,” the midwife said sternly.  “You can do this!!”  “PUSH!!”

Anna wailed and pushed and cried.  After a few minutes, she slumped backward onto the bed, trying to catch her breath.  The egg was halfway out, hanging between her legs like a crowning head.  She was given oxygen, and the egg was examined while she attempted to quickly rest between contractions.  The midwife and supporting scientists made an interesting discovery when they scanned this egg hanging halfway out of Anna.

“There are two Mews in that egg… Twins!” one of the scientists stated.

“This is most unusual, as we’ve never seen two Pokemon in one egg before, ever!” The head scientist said.  “How is this possible?”  “This warrants further study!”

“I JUST WANT IT OUT!!!” Anna bawled as another heavy contraction came over her.  She grunted and pushed, and finally, the large egg slid out and landed in the midwife’s arms.  However, instead of giving it to the scientist by the door, she handed the overlarge egg to someone else, who took it to another corner of the room.

“Wait, what are you doing??” Anna exclaimed breathlessly, as she watched them take the egg she struggled to deliver over to a lab table.

“We’re not giving this egg to the trainer,” The head scientist exclaimed.  “We have just witnessed a phenomenon, and we will need to study it and the Mews inside!”

“But…. but what if one of those Mews in that egg is a shiny?” Anna asked frantically.

The head scientist shrugged.  “If it is, then too bad… we’ll just have to continue for a second shiny, one from a normal egg!”

“NO!!” Anna yelled, in both anger and pain as she felt another contraction hit.  “You’re not the one struggling to birth these eggs!”  “What if another hundred eggs doesn’t produce one?”

“Then, you’ll be giving birth to more than one hundred eggs,” The scientist exclaimed.  “Don’t worry, you’ll get to rest eventually between births, and you will, of course, be well compensated for it!”

Anna’s heart fell… she didn’t think any amount of money in the world was worth this torture.  She was so distraught and exhausted that, though the next egg seemed normal enough, Anna was struggling to deliver it.

“Push, Anna, Push!!” The midwife coached, but Anna only gave a small mediocre push.  Her heart was no longer in it, and she had lost her will and focus.  She moaned and yelled in pain, convinced that this last egg would no doubt kill her. This continued for the next half hour: Anna moaning, the midwife directing her to push, and Anna losing her energy, when the large egg Anna had delivered earlier hatched on the lab table, revealing two Mews, though none of them were shiny.  This did nothing to help Anna’s confidence, and the scientist that had taken the large egg was scanning the two newborn Mews, seemingly unconcerned with Anna’s agony.

“This is it,” Anna thought to herself.  “I’m going to die, painfully!”  “I can’t get this last egg out, I’m too tired and it hurts too bad!”  Suddenly, Anna heard another voice in her mind.  “You are strong,” it said.  “You must not give up!”  “I can give you the willpower to help you get through this!”  Anna blinked.  “Who are you,” she asked in her mind, and then the voice answered her, “I am one of the Mews you just delivered!!”

Anna glanced over at the lab table with wide eyes, to see one of the newborn Mews staring at her, its eyes glowing blue.  It was communicating psychically with her, and seeming to do more than that.  She began feeling renewed strength, as if the Mew was somehow energizing her with its power.

Anna bore down and pushed hard!  “UUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!”

“Good girl, that’s it!” the midwife said, as the egg began to crown finally.

Anna screamed and grunted, pushing again.  The egg was emerging quickly, and the midwife scientist watched with wide eyes.

“There’s a fifth egg right behind this one,” she told the room.  “It’s trying to come out too!!”  “Anna, give me one good hard push!!”

Anna screamed loudly and pushed harder than she had ever done, or thought possible, and the fourth and fifth egg both popped out of her, one after another into the midwife’s arms.

Anna lay on the bed, panting in relief as the head scientist handed the fourth egg out to the trainer.  The midwife was mopping her head with a cold, damp cloth.  After 10 minutes, everyone heard a loud cheer from outside.

“That fourth egg hatched into a shiny Mew!” The head scientist told the room a minute later.  “The experiment was a success!!”

The entire room cheered, except for Anna, who was too tired to join in the celebrations, but smiled in relief nonetheless.  She did wonder what was going to happen to her now… what if more trainers wanted shiny Pokemon, or the scientists wanted to experiment with more legendaries??

Anna was allowed a day of rest.  That evening, the head scientist came into her room to talk to her.

“We have good news for you,” he said.  “You can go home!”  “We will be paying you quite a large sum shortly.”  “We discovered something yesterday… one of those Mews from that large egg can breed!!”  “It can also talk psychically to us, and has volunteered to take your place in our experiments.”

Anna sighed in relief.  “So, it’s all over??”

“Yes, it is!” the scientist responded.  “We have your clothes washed for you, so as soon as you are recovered and dressed, we will present you with your payment and you can leave!”  “We thank you deeply for what you did for us.”

“NEVER AGAIN!!” Anna said sharply!!

The scientist smiled.  “Of course!!”  “You have enough money now to live comfortably for the rest of your life!”  “We only ask that you never tell anyone what happened here, and we have a final gift for you!”

The scientist left the room for a few seconds and returned, holding a Pokemon egg that he presented to Anna.

“This is the fifth Mew egg you birthed, the one that was a surprise,” he told her.  “That trainer released all of the non-shiny Mews into the wild, effectively restoring the Mew population, and we have those twin Mews for our studies, so once this final egg hatches, the Mew inside it is yours.”  “It did come out of you, after all.”

Anna took the egg wide eyed and stared at it.  A tear ran down her cheek as she smiled.  Perhaps it was all worth it after all!!

   End

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

The first match continues! How will our intrepid hero get out of this mess? (Spoilers, it’s ghosts.)

[No. 33 - Shinsou’s Situation]

Our first page here is actually another mock cover! Which I think might be a nod to some other comic book cover, though I would not be able to tell you which one.

Poor Izuku’s shirt, who knows where it might have gone. Boy’s gonna get a cold like that. And he’s standing on top of the rubble of a fallen apartment building I think? Just from the ladder and some of the brick-like debris. And the gloves and boots are definitely a different style from what we see Izuku wearing in canon. 

Anyways, into the chapter proper. The crowd’s making a lot of noise as Izuku continues to stand there frozen, with Present Mic comments on that fact, along with how Izuku is looking confounded and not even twitching. He correctly identifies it as Shinsou’s quirk at play, though he frames it as a question because, you know, show business. Ochako and Tenya are confused and concerned, as is Toshinori. 

Shinsou continues to stand there, menacingly, as Present Mic goes on about how they were barely aware that this guy existed, but now he’s sure one to keep an eye on! Aizawa brings up a pair of sheets, catching Mic’s attention, as he brings up how the entrance exam was completely irrational. The sheets have simple specs on the two, since they knew this would be a quirk versus quirk battle.

...wait, oh my god, but this WAS a quirk versus quirk, battle, though, just not in the way anyone was expecting! It was a mental control battle instead of a physical versus mental quirk battle! And was our first nod towards One For All having a powerful mental aspect, which becomes a major plot point like 250 chapters from now. I am just. Huh. Well then.

Continuing on with Aizawa’s commentary. Shinsou apparently failed the practical part of the exam, so he lost a spot in the hero course. He got into general studies, though, and that’s all he could have hoped for. His quirk is extraordinarily powerful, but, given the format of the practical exam, his ability didn’t help him out. 

Down in the arena, Shinsou comments to Izuku about how it must be nice to have everything handed to him. He then commands Izuku to turn around and walk out of the ring. Izuku ends up doing so, and Present Mic comments on Izuku following orders like a good little boy - which means that the crowds (or at least the announcer booth) has to be able to hear what’s being said?

Uhm. (Looks at later matches) Either they have selective hearing, or the mics must have been destroyed during the Izuku-Shouto match before they could give away anything incriminating.

Anywho. We finally get info on Shinsou’s quirk, Brainwashing! Which is absolutely not what his quirk does, it’s more like puppeteering or hypnosis, where brainwashing is a longer-term conditioning process. Shinsou’s quirk, according to the narration here, makes anyone who verbally responds to him instantly brainwashed, and will do whatever he commands. However, the quirk won’t work if he doesn’t will it. 

Huh, so I suppose that means written or signed responses don’t work, then. I’ve seen that in a fic or two. Though that then leads to the question about making noises that aren’t outright responses, like groaning or scoffs or whatever… eh, battle now, quirk thoughts later.

Up in the booth, Aizawa thinks about how, from the result of the strength tests, Izuku really shouldn’t have been placed in the hero course either. But Shinsou’s stats are even worse in any event where he couldn’t make use of his quirk. Izuku would come out on top in an ordinary battle, but now that he’s brainwashed, it’s a different story. This will be over quick…

Meanwhile, Toshinori is panicking over seeing Izuku about to walk out of the ring, a litany of ‘no’ escaping him as he mentally begs fo Izuku to stop walking. Izuku is also stressing out over his body not listening to him, as well as how fuzzy his head is. He’s trying to get himself to stop, and swearing when it’s not working. He’s especially mad at himself because Ojiro had even warned him about this ahead of time -

And as if to highlight this, we shift into a flashback where Izuku and Ojiro are talking. Izuku wonders how he can win against mind-control quirk. Ojiro replies that his loss could be Izuku’s gain. His memories cut out from the instant he replied to Shinsou, which is what he thinks is the trick.

Izuku is stressed out as he summarizes that it’s all over if he slips up and says anything to Shinsou. Ojiro disagrees, saying that it doesn’t seem like such an almighty ability. Remember how he said he didn’t remember anything until the end? When Shinsou had them run past to nab Tetsutetsu’s headband, he thinks he must have bumped into Tetsu’s formation - which was when he snapped out of it. He was suddenly aware of what was happening.

Izuku guesses that it had been undone by the physical contact, which Ojiro agrees with. That said, however, he has no idea how strong the contact needs to be. And in a one-on-one match, of course you can’t expect any outside help. (Cough) Anyways, that’s everything Ojiro can tell him. Izuku replies that no, it’s awesome, thanks! Ojiro asks for forgiveness if he’s out of line, but he wants Izuku to win this for him.

With that, we ome back to the present, Izuku getting awfully close to the line and his ringing himself out. Izuku thinks how it can’t end like this, over in a flash. Everyone’s done so much for him - he can’t lose here. 

And something responds.

Eight pairs of eyes watch from shadowy faces, almost everything about the specters nondescript. Izuku has no idea what’s happening, even as they seem to linger at the fringes of his mind. One For All starts to flow under the skin of his left arm, with Izuku quickly realizing he can move his fingers, even just a twitch. Shinsou, ignorant of this, starts to talk about how Izuku wouldn’t think so, but Shinsou’s quirk is like a dream. Oh, right, and Izuku loses. 

Izuku’s response?

He’s not out of it yet. Izuku heaves like he’s just breached the surface of a lake, his feet stopping right on the inside edge of the line. He then turns to stare at Shinsou in a very concerning way as Present Mic wonders at Izuku managing to stop. 

You know, I have this particular face saved in my folder under ‘boss music starts playing’ AND ‘boss music intensifies’. I feel like that’s pretty appropriate.

Izuku’s fingers throb in pain, and apparently the cameras are able to zoom in enough for Aizawa to see it and realize what happened - Izuku smashed it up to shake off the brainwashing. Ojiro is in nervous awe at Izuku going that far. Shinsou himself is unnerved, asking how he did it, that he shouldn’t have control. 

And here’s where we get to some interesting internal monologue from Izuku that I don’t think made it into the anime. 

Izuku slaps a hand over his mouth to keep himself from replying, thinking about how the finger was all him, but something woke him up. What was that? Who were all those people in his mind? For that one second, his head was clear!

One For All, All Might had told him. It’s passed down like the Olympic torch. Izuku recalls those words, and wonders if those were people, and if that was a sign that he’s linked by this power to the past. Did they save him? Is that even possible? Izuku tries to shake it off, knowing that just thinking about it won’t give him any answers, and to save it for later. He needs to think about now.

[I will have thoughts about One For All at the end of this, but for now, let’s finish up the battle.]

Shinsou is pissed, thinking about how Izuku’s not answering him, wondering if he figured it out. But no, he probably knew from the start, that that ‘damn monkey’ told him. He just has to get him to open his mouth again. He mocks Izuku for having nothing to say for himself, but Izuku manages to press his lips together and say nothing as he shifts into a fighting stance. 

Shinsou presses on, stating how he’s jealous, and how just moving that finger must mean Izuku’s the real deal. Thanks to his quirk’s nature, he couldn’t enter the golder gates. Izuku wouldn’t get that, since he’s naturally blessed. You people, born with your awesome quirks, getting to follow all of your dreams!

Izuku sweats as he pushes himself forward, internally noting that that’s how he used to think too. He does get it. But… right. He is blessed. He’s blessed by the people in his life! And that’s exactly why - that’s why he’s not going to lose!

Izuku throws himself forward, one hand grabbing Shinsou’s shoulder while the other slams itself into his stomach. Shinsou retaliates with a cross punch into Izuku’s face, demanding he say something. However, Izuku only turns back to stare at Shinsou, determination burning in his eyes as he begins shoving Shinsou back. Shinsou says that pushing him out isn’t gonna happen, right before he yanks himself out of the grip and doges around. Shinsou says he’ll give Izuku that honor instead as he smacks a hand into Izuku’s face and pushes him back. 

(Also, interrupting the flow here, but Izuku is making noise without Shinsou able to take control, so it really does seem like it has to be a response and not just noise. Which makes sense!)

Izuku grabs Shinsou’s wrist and his shirt, and with one mighty heave, manages an over-the-shoulder throw that firmly slams Shinsou back-first into the ground - and just over the line.

I’m pretty sure this is the same move Izuku pulled on Katsuki during the Battle Trial, actually - at least, from that momentary reaction shot we get from Katsuki. 

Midnight calls the match. Shinsou is gritting his teeth, and Izuku is straightening himself out as Midnight confirms that Izuku is moving on to the second round. 

And with that, the chapter comes to a close. What a match. And now that I’m not breaking the flow, it’s time to go back to the ghost stuff and ramble on it a bit more.

Alright, so. One For All. First time we’re seeing the ‘haunted’ aspect of it - and honestly, it’s not far out of line with what we end up seeing it capable of later on. It comes off as a physical quirk, but One For All as a stockpile holds everything from the past holders - strength, quirks, memories, personalities. And because of that overwhelmingly spiritual lean to the stockpile, One For All is, in many ways, as much a mental quirk as Shinsou’s, if not more so. Arguably, it could count as the most mental quirk, and that ties back into something All Might mentions at the end of the Hosu arc - that One For All can’t be taken unwillingly. 

I’ve seen criticism of this fight’s handling, and how One For All shouldn’t have been able to (or interested in) stopping Shinsou from taking the win. But it’s really not about Shinsou’s quirk itself - it’s about the mental control! The helplessness, the desperation from not one, but two living holders to overcome this and retake control from the person commandeering them.

One For All’s existence, it’s purpose, is to resist being taken by All For One. It is the collective will of nine people, all with a deep-seated will to resist control. So why wouldn’t One For All step in here, when Izuku needs to learn to fight against mental puppeteering? When the still-hazy spirits of the quirk must already have the sinking feeling that All For One isn’t as dead as hoped?

Can it really be a surprise that they stepped in?

I’ll probably make a longer post digging more into this after Kamino, but yeah. Honestly, this fight is a LOT more interesting in the manga than I recall from the anime, since we get a bit more of Izuku’s thought process and what’s happening with OFA. 

To close us out, here’s some discord commentary on the match:

[annikathewitch]

DSMP Lore Nov. 28 Liveblog

Right so I’ve spent like… all day in the car because, y’know, visiting family and all that, so I didn’t actually get to watch ANY of these streams live. So I’m just gonna watch Techno’s vod and put this in my queue, so we’ll see how that goes.

“(The prison) …that I was actually locked in for like three months cuz Phil can’t read?” Lol

“So there are two possibilities; either he’s dead or he just forgot to put a pearl in here in the first place.” “I’m gonna say he probably just forgot to put a pearl in there in the first place.” Look, if the few spoilers I haven’t managed to dodge are accurate, then there’s a good chance both are true. Or at least will be by the time this is over.

Awwww, he named the dog Apollo

“There’s a lot of guards in the prison.” There are like two. (Not counting Sam cuz he’s technically the warden). And if I remember my egg lore correctly, those two guards are probably a bit busy nursing their wounds after their murder party failed and they both lost very nearly all hope of ever seeing their husbands again.

Okay, the amount that Techno brings up the “stuck in prison for three months” thing is starting to remind me of that time my sister threw a fork at my eye.

Oh my god there are like 21 people online. Guys, you gotta understand. I joined this fandom around the time Tommy lost his 3rd canon life. I was not here for Doomsday, or the 16th, or the disc war finale, or any of that. The biggest event I’ve seen is the red banquet. There are like 21 people here. I don’t remember how many people were there for the banquet but still HOLY SHIT

Gotta love that excellent Mumbo Jumbo slime block and honey piston flying machine door.

Oh thank gods Apollo survived that creeper. I do not know how I have formed an emotional connection to a Minecraft dog this quickly but I have.

The way Techno’s chests are organized is extremely relatable.

Can you guys tell I’m just jotting down random thoughts every few minutes?

“You know how to spawn withers, right?” Oooohhhhhh boy. There’s gonna be some more minor terrorism in this, isn’t there?

I n v e n t o r y m a n a g e m e n t

“I used to have more golden apples but a raccoon broke into my house and ate like half of them…” RACCOONINNIT

The bell is obviously the most important item for this entire mission.

“They should all have great stats cuz their parents have great stats.” (Referring to the horses). Actually, not necessarily. Iirc, a horse’s stats will always be the average of their parents and a third randomly selected set of stats. Or that might just be in bedrock. I only play bedrock so who knows.

Wait. I’m watching the vod. I have all the time in the world. I can just go look this up. One sec.

Yep. I double checked, and I was right. Meaning that if you have two horses with really good stats and you breed them together, the odds are that any offspring will have lower stats than the parents.

Okay, Minecraft horse breeding mechanics aside, let’s get back to the actual stream.

Apollo is holding up the prison break better than a small army probably could.

“And Phil can have the easy job of getting the horses through this all.” Fun fact, the name Phil actually means lover of horses. Why can I remember random facts like this but absolutely nothing for any of my math tests? My life would be so much easier if my memory of like, any stuff I needed to know for school was as good as my memory of random facts I learned while writing fanfiction or whatever.

(Or in this case me trying to combine my special interests in dream smp, mythology, history, dystopian literature, and linguistics to create a whole entire language and history and culture and mythology based entirely on the concept that stories from popular fandoms such as dsmp continue to be passed down in oral tradition even after the apocalypse.)

Circuitous.

Yeah no, not giving you guys any context for that one.

I just noticed this is #1 on trending for gaming

Oh my gods he’s bringing Apollo in. Part of me loves this and part of me is terrified.

DIAMONDS!!!! LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Guys I’ve been watching this for like two hours at 2x speed and I’m still not even an hour in. I keep getting sidetracked. Guys. Guys can you tell I have ADHD.

“I know this prison like the back of my hand.” (10 seconds later) “wait where is this.”

Okay, the alarm’s going off. The prison break has officially begun.

Why on earth does Dream have 22 bells in his enderwalk chest?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Apollo died.

Is this like. The first time Bad’s ever done like any guard duty at the prison?

Also where’s Ant? Part of me hopes he’s involved in some other part of this later but I feel like that’s unlikely and he probably just couldn’t make it for whatever reason.

(Either way, I hope Velvet gets added at some point.)

At this point I would like to make it clear that I absolutely despise c!Dream, but I root for basically everyone else (except Schlatt) depending on who’s stream I’m watching or which thing I’m analyzing or whatever, so rn I’m rooting for Techno. I would just also like c!Dream to die. Ideally painfully and with a certain amount of poetic justice.

See, the issue is that my favorite streamers are like… Techno and Eret, and my favorite characters are like, Techno, Eret, Wilbur, Tubbo, Quackity, Foolish, Bad, Skeppy, and Sapnap (in no particular order), and like… half of them hate each other.

Anyway…

Noooo, Bad’s dead. At least we don’t have to worry about him loosing canon lives or anything. (/gen)

And of course Dream just wants to leave Ranboo there. Look, from what I’ve heard, he’ll do worse later, but I would already like to punch him. Please tell me Techno finally fucking realizes how much of a dick Dream is after this. (He probably won’t T-T)

Connor????????

“Connor, why are you— why are you in jail?” My thoughts exactly.

Love how Connor’s just tagging along

Wait wasn’t there something a while back about Connor maybe being Dream’s kid? That makes this like 10x funnier.

He put the ender chests in the ender chest. 10/10 excellent job guys.

If c!Dream doesn’t stop talking I will punch him in the fucking face, my own lack of pvp skill and the barriers between Minecraft and our own world be damned.

“That’s what happens when you pay minimum wage; no one wants to work for you.”

“Ranboo, look at this before you go…” fuuuuuck…

I need to get better at recognizing people’s voices. I have no clue what’s going on rn.

Wait okay I slowed it down to normal speed. Now everyone sounds like they’re talking in slow motion. I’m not used to this.

Techno is refusing to leave Ranboo <3

(Side note, I would like to reiterate what I said about punching Dream in the face).

Wait. Fuck. Ranboo just said “He has Michael.” Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. This is not good. This is very not good. Now I know what that one spoiler means tho.

I really should’ve kept more up to date with Bee family lore. Wasn’t Michael staying with Eret or something? I wanna look this up but I don’t want any spoilers. Fuuuuuuck. What if something happened to Eret. Guys. Is there something that happened that I don’t know about or is this a potential issue. Guuuyyyys. Please forgive me; I’ve been paying too much attention to the nonexistent egg lore to have any clue what else is happening.

Can someone just kill Dream? Please?

Seriously tho wtf was Sam thinking. He should know by this point that Dream doesn’t give a shit about anyone; he’s not gonna care about Ranboo being held hostage.

Oh wait he’s probably just trying to punish Techno for breaking Dream out. Nvm that makes total sense, actually. It’s fucked, but it makes sense, from Sam’s POV.

Well. Time to update my DSMP statistics spreadsheet. Actually wait that’s still in my notes app… time to transfer it from my notes app and THEN edit it.

(Can you tell that this is what I got spoiled about from my complete lack of an emotional reaction?)

(I’m keeping track of canon lives, canon deaths, and war crimes btw. I might stick those statistics at the end of this post). (War crimes might take a bit longer to tally up. Definitely adding one for Sam. The Geneva convention kinda frowns upon taking and killing hostages iirc. Especially people who aren’t involved in the conflict. Especially children.)

I love how Techno’s like… arguably the most powerful dude on this battlefield and he’s just sitting here like wtf is happening. Who is this. Why are these people here. What is everyone talking about. It’s an excellent reflection of the syndicate’s role in basically like… all recent (using the word “recent” very loosely here) lore.

…and I just noticed the wither boss bar. O-okay.

YouTube gave me a Halloween themed ad here and honestly it’s a bit weird but it’s far better than getting Christmas ads in October, so…

I got sidetracked trying to figure out a Google sheets system to track how long everyone’s been in limbo and now it’s 2 AM.

Y’know what, fuck my sleep schedule, we’re finishing this, dammit.

The wither got STUCK

Right okay I distracted again. It is now the next morning.

“The deal was to break you out, not give you a full set of god armor.” YES! KICK THE GREEN TELETUBBY OUT ON THE CURB!

Wait… Dream owes Techno now? So the turns have tabled…

Oh this conversation (Techno telling Phil what happened in the prison) is hilarious

AND HERE COMES CONNOR OUT OF NOWHERE

Will the Syndicate get a new member just bc Connor keeps showing up and won’t leave? Because that would be amazing actually.

Okay, so Sapnap saw Niki; good to know

I WAS RIGHT! CONNOR IS JOINING THE SYNDICATE!

And Connor’s building a dirt shack off to the side. This is great.

“This is what we’d be doing if we did lore, but we only stream like once every 6 months.” Yup T-T

“People say I blew up L’Manburg, but I just blew up the houses; honestly like 2/3 of their members defected by the time that battle happened.” That is actually a really interesting point that I’m sure someone who is not me will write a really good analysis on at some point.

“Before Ranboo died he gave me this incredibly important image. Do you know what it means?” Oooh, this hurts. Because we, the audience, know that that’s Michael. We know that Phil knows that that’s Michael. But Techno doesn’t.

Okay so Niki also knows who Michael is. So Techno’s literally the only one who has no clue.

“Who’s Michael? Michael McChill?” T-T

Phil you could be explaining this so much better

“I have to go find Tubbo.” Okay so on one hand, there’s no way Tubbo will trust Techno. But on the other hand, teamup? For the sole purpose of getting revenge on Sam for killing Ranboo?

“We should probably lower our gear a bit before we show up at Tubbo’s doorstep.” Well, points for some situational awareness, at least

Okay, Techno’s going alone; that’s good

“Who is Michael?” “Why is Tubbo in the picture?” …uhhhhhh

*sees an enderman* “Ranboo! Ranboo’s back!”

Wait Techno ACTUALLY doesn’t know what the map is? Holy shit… this should be interesting…

RIP Sheldon (wait is that the sea turtle that Bad was playing matchmaker for that one time? Is that the same Sheldon?)

“How did Ranboo know Tubbo?” Dude they were literally in the butcher army together. You know they know each other.

“ITS IN THE FLOOR! ITS IN THE FLOOR!” Jump scared by a random wither.

“Who built this?” Foolish. Foolish built it.

Okay so Eret wasn’t the one babysitting Michael when he got kidnapped. That’s good.

“Man, it looks so much better when it isn’t condensed to 128x128 pixels.” yup

Techno ACTUALLY doesn’t know what’s going on. This is epic.

…are Tubbo’s eyes red or am I seeing things? His eyes are normally blue, right? Yup, checked the wiki; they’re normally blue. I am now officially Concerned.

Okay. They’re more of a purple than a red. Still Concerned. This reminds me of Ant getting taken over by the Egg.

Emotional processing. This should be. Uh. Interesting.

And Dream just showed up outta nowhere. Well. Mental note to watch Sapnap’s vod after this. (I might make a separate post actually, this is getting kinda long)

“I think him and Sapnap are fighting in my basement right now.” “You wanna watch?” “Kinda.”

Oh, Sapnap’s taken the Nightmare armor. Okay, that’s good.

Oooooooh, Dream just told Sapnap about the Quackity torturing him thing…

And now Dream’s pulling Techno into it.

THE AXE OF PEACE

Why does Dream have so many axes? Where the heck did he get them? How did he have time to find this many axes?

Oh, is Tubbo just finding out that Michael is missing? Ooh boy.

“Ranboo has a son???” Yep.

YESSSSSS TECHNO AND TUBBO TEAMUP POG

Okay, I gotta go figure out what exactly happened with Eret and Michael.

The TV style outro, this is great

“I think the story’s started by now.”

Also, since they’re talking about seasons, I just wanna say, like, the season division we’ve got never really made sense to me. Like, it seems like the L’Manburg War for Independence and the Manburg v. Pogtopia arcs should be in separate seasons, with how the pacing went, as far as I can tell.

“One of the nukes is missing.” Glad to see they haven’t forgotten about that.

Woooo okay that was fun

SIDE NOTE: I WENT BACK AND DOUBLE CHECKED. APPARENTLY ERET DID HAVE MICHAEL. I AM CONCERNED.

[fandomrewrites]

Season 2; Episode 7: Restraint

Hello all! As you can see in the pairings, this is the first episode where (Y/N) is going to have some romance after Nate. I want to keep it a secret until you read the chapter which is why I don’t include the name in the pairings. Also I’ll probably never write hardcore smut just because I don’t think I’ll be good at it, but please give me any tips you may have about writing smut/mild smut. I’m not really sure if I did a good job or not so any feedback will be extremely helpful! As always constructive criticism is appreciated! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. 

Season 2; Episode 7: Restraint

Pairings: Scott McCall x Twin Sister, Lydia Martin x Best Friend, ?? x Reader

Warnings: very mild smut (more like making out)

Word Count: 2,041

Season 2 Masterlist

Lydia brought me home after she finished translating the Kanima pages for us. The minute I was in the house I texted Allison to see if she talked to the boys yet. She hadn’t. Instead she was waiting for me so we could call them together.

I couldn’t stay at her house because Lydia would have gotten suspicious and I don’t need Lydia to think I’m choosing someone else over her. Allison called me and then I called Stiles, making a three way call.

“If Jackson doesn’t know what he’s doing then he probably doesn’t know someone’s controlling him.” Allison says.

“Or doesn’t remember.” Scott adds. 

“What if it’s the same kind of thing that happened to Lydia when she took off from the hospital?” Stiles asks.

“A fugue state.” I say.

“He’d have to forget everything. The murder, coming home...” Scott trails off in thought.

There is a brief moment of silence, then Allison continues, “Getting rid of the blood.”

“But he had help with one thing. The video. Someone else helped him forget that.” Stiles pipes in.

“Probably whoever’s controlling him. I whisper, biting my lip in thought.

“Are you sure Jackson has no clue about any of this?” Allison questions.

“He thinks he’s still becoming a werewolf and that being with Lydia somehow delayed the whole thing.” Stiles states.

“So we try to convince him he’s not?” 

“If it helps us figure out who’s controlling him, then yeah.” Scott says.

“You think he’ll talk to us after what we did?” Allison asks.

I scoff as Stiles answers, “Yeah. Totally. Right?”

“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s Jackson we’re talking about after all.” I say before hanging up.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Before first period Allison, Scott, Stiles and I go to the library. The two boys and I make sure we arrive before Allison and meet in a secluded section, where the security cameras cannot see us.

Allison and I stand in one aisle while Scott and Stiles stand in the one beside us. Allison opens her bag and pulls out a tablet, placing it on the shelf between us.

“It’s everything Lydia could translate. And trust us, she was very confused.” Allison says as I nod in agreement.

“What did you tell her?” Scott asks.

“That we’re part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures.”

“I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures.” Stiles says.

I immediately cover my mouth with my hand to hide the smile threatening to appear.

“Does it say how to find out who’s controlling him?” Scott asks.

“Not really. But Stiles was right about murderers. It calls the Kanima a weapon of vengeance. There’s a story in there about a South American priest who used the Kanima to execute murderers in the village-” I don’t get the chance to finish my sentence.

“So maybe it’s not all bad.” Stiles cuts me off.

Allison and I share a look before I continue, “Until the bond grew strong enough that it killed whoever he wanted it to.”

“All bad. All very bad.”

“Here’s the thing, though. The Kanima’s actually supposed to be a werewolf. But it can’t be until...” Allison pauses as a teacher passes by us.

Scott starts reading from the tablet, “Until it resolves that in its past which manifested it.”

“If it means Jackson could use a few thousand hours of therapy, I could’ve told you that myself.” Stiles says.

“What if it has to do with his parents? His real parents.” Allison asks.

“Does anybody actually know what happened to them? (Y/N)?” 

I shake my head, “I’m pretty sure they died when he was still a baby, but I honestly don’t know. Jackson isn’t really someone who openly has heart-to-hearts with his friends. Lydia may know, though.”

“What if she doesn’t know anything?”

“Well,” Allison sighs, “He didn’t get a restraining order against me. So I’ll try talking to him myself.”

“What do I do?” Scott questions.

“You’ve got a make-up exam, remember? For a few hours you need to concentrate on not failing out of high school. Otherwise, you’re not going to be helping anyone.”

Scott looks at Stiles and I. We both nod backing Allison up. “Promise me.” She speaks once more.

Allison reaches a hand between the books, taking his. “Okay. But if Jackson does anything, you run the other way.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“If you get hurt while I’m busy with a stupid test, someone’s going to need to take care of me. If he does anything...” Scott trails off.

“LIke?” Allison prompts.

“Anything weird, bizarre, anything.”

Stiles then pops his head through the shelf, “Anything evil.”

Allison nods then pushes his face back as I shake my head and mumble, “Dork.”

*_*_*_*_*_*

I run a hand through my hair as I lean against the wall to take off my heels for a minute. I sigh and walk down the empty hall. Just as I turn the corner I nearly crash into someone. “You scared the hell out of me.” The person exclaims.

I let out a breath as I looked up at Matt, “I could say the same to you.”

“Nice heels.”

I look down at the black heels in my hand, “Oh. They’re new and bothering my feet.”

I bend back down to pull my heels on once more, “Same reason I never wear mine.” Matt jokes.

I lightly chuckle, “Funny.”

He opens his mouth to say something then pauses. I raise an eyebrow, “Yes?”

He takes a breath, like he’s trying to get the nerves to talk to me, “Did you hear about the underground show? I guess they’ve got some big name spinning.”

“You mean like a rave?”

“Is it still a rave if you don’t roll? I just call it a concert. I’ve got a hook-up for tickets if you’re down. Should I grab you one?”

“Uh... Like a date?”

“I mean, only if you want it to be one.”

I awkwardly smile, “I’m not really sure if I’m ready to start dating again.”

“That’s fine. It can be two friends hanging out then.”

I bite my lip, “Yeah. Sure.” I agree hesitantly.

“All right, cool. It’s Friday.”

“Looking forward to it.” I watch as he walks off down the hall.

*_*_*_*_*_*

At the end of the school day I find Stiles, “I can’t bring you home unless you want to wait for detention to get out.”

I gape at him, “What did you do now?”

“Why do you think I did something?” I raise an eyebrow, “It was Scott and Jackson who got into a fight. Harris just threw everyone that was around them in detention too.”

“Who else?”

“Erica, Allison, and Matt.”

I scrunch up my face, “Have fun in detention. I’ll figure out another way to get home.”

***

After getting a ride home from Lydia, who still hasn’t told me about what she wanted to talk to Allison and I about, I sit on my bed doing some homework and contemplating who could be controlling the Kanima. So far I have nobody on the mental list. So clearly I’m doing great.

My ears strain as I hear a noise downstairs. I slowly slide my notebook off my lap, placing it on my nightstand. I then quickly grab the metal baseball bat from underneath my bed. I grip it tightly in my hands as I move quietly down the stairs, my eyes rapidly moving to take in every inch of the room in front of me.

I hear a sound from my left and swing with all my strength.

“God, (Y/N). You have a damn powerful swing for someone so tiny.” The person says.

“What the hell are you doing in my house?” I look on in shock as Isaac grips the bat, stopping it just inches from his face.

“Maybe I was hoping to catch you in the shower.” He smirks.

I scoff, “You’re disgusting. Seriously what are you doing here?” I gently place the metal bat at our feet.

“I was going to talk to you at school but you were too busy getting asked on a date.”

I roll my eyes, “It’s not a date. I don’t like Matt like that.”

“Does he know that?”

“I told him I wasn’t ready to start dating again.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t like him. And trust me, he likes you a lot.”

“Why does this concern you? Oh wait, it doesn’t.” I respond.

“Maybe it concerns me because I like you?” He says it as more of a question.

I narrow my eyes at him, “Are you asking or telling me?”

He smirks but stays quiet. I suddenly realize just how close the two of us are. His smirk widens, probably because he can hear just how fast my heart is beating at the revelation. “I really want to kiss you right now.” He mumbles.

Before I can stop myself I whisper, “Then what’s stopping you?” In an instant his lips cover mine, one of his hands are on my waist while the other is tangled in my hair. Both of my hands are tightly gripping onto his shirt trying to bring our bodies closer together.

I release the death grip I have on his shirt to instead lightly pull on his curly hair. He brings both of his hands to my butt muttering a ‘jump’ through the kiss. I do as he says then quickly pull away for breath. “My room,” I gasp out. He nods then starts to climb the steps as I lightly suck and nibble on his neck.

Isaac kicks my door shut as he lets out a low growl. He gently lays me on my bed and rips his shirt off, climbing on top of me. Our lips attach once more, his hands roughly grabbing at my hips, pushing my shirt up. We quickly break apart only to pull my shirt off then reattach our lips for a third time.

I break the kiss again so I can catch my breath, Isaac uses this moment to stat kissing my chest. Instinctively I push my chest closer to him as I moan out his name, “Isaac.” My hands grip his shoulders and legs wrap around his waist.

He places sloppy kisses on my chest and neck as my hands start to wander down to his jeans. I start to unbutton his pants but he stops me, pulling away. “What’s wro-” I cut myself off as his breathing becomes heavier and his claws start to grow from his fingertips. He quickly backs away from me and closes his hand into a tight fist.

“Isaac...” I tentatively whisper, slightly nervous that he won’t be able to regain control.

I sit up as he answers, “I’m alright.” He turns back around and opens his hands. His claws are now replaced by fingernails. “Maybe we shouldn’t try that again until I have control.”

I nod in agreement. Then quirk an eyebrow, “So you think we’re going to try that again?”

All he does is reaches down and tosses me my shirt with a small smile on his face. “Thanks,” I mumble as we fix ourselves. “I’m guessing that wasn’t the original reason why you came here?”

He looks at me and hesitates to answer, “No. Derek thinks you know who the Kanima is.”

“Derek’s a smart guy. I’m sure he can put it together.” I stand up and cross my arms as I answer.

“That’s all I’m going to get?” Isaac raises an eyebrow.

I nod, “And you won’t be telling anyone what happened between us if you want it to happen again. I don’t need my brother freaking out about me sleeping with a werewolf.”

Isaac smirks, “Are you sure you’re not concerned about what your date might think? Also, you think we’re going to try that again?”

I roll my eyes and flip him off but can’t stop the smile that falls onto my lips, “I already told you, it’s not a date. And about this,” I gesture between us, “You’re hot. So I personally don’t mind doing this again. Now get out of my house.”

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

I brought up hanyang type 88 here and i said i’d explain, so here I am!!

okay so first off here’s a bunch of likely useful context about girls frontline. There is this feature in the game called digimind upgrade, or mod 3, where certain t-dolls can be upgraded past the normal maximum levels and stats, and at the same time gaining whole new abilities and also a new design. Basically a reinvention. There are like hundreds of playable characters in the game, and only a fraction will get mod 3s, typically the ‘main characters’ who are relevant to the major ongoing plot.

two things about getting a doll who has the ability to do digimind upgrade, to actually do that. One, is that it can be very costly in terms of in-game materials. like, maybe i just played the game wrong but I would have to grind for weeks in order to amass the materials to upgrade just one doll to mod 3. So even though by now there are dozens upon dozens of dolls who are capable of this feature, i’ve only actually done so with like, less than one dozen. A normal player probably has to be picky.

secondly, and this is the big one, every t-doll’s mod 3 comes with story cutscenes that become available for you to view upon upgrading them. Personally, i think most of the only worthwhile mod 3 stories are the ones that are associated with the actual major characters of the main story, especially since their upgrades actually happen in-canon and their mod 3 stories fill in blanks or otherwise expand upon the regular story chapters.

for the t-dolls who aren’t major characters that get digimind upgrades, their associated stories tend to follow a very basic pattern. They’re feeling like they are falling behind other T-Dolls in abilities or are otherwise experiencing a drop in confidence in their abilities, but then find the resolve in them to either change themselves or stand by an aspect of themselves, and this leads them to heading to the lab to get upgraded. obviously theres some nuances here and there depending on the character, but a lot of them, from what i saw, follow this basic pattern.

hanyang type 88 has a mod 3 but i certainly never wanted to see it. Firstly, using the feature at all takes up resources are kinda precious so i wasn’t just gonna use it on anyone. Secondly, she is just one of many one-off t-dolls that basically dont ever show up in any actual main story cutscenes or even funny events. Thirdly... you saw what she looked like in the linked post, i was in no rush to make use of her.

That being said, even if you don’t ever upgrade a t-doll, simply having them in your possession allows you to at least view the first of four parts of their mod 3 story, which nets you a small amount of those materials needed to see the rest (its a pretty fiendish system, huh o_O). I was lacking in some materials to upgrade a doll i cared about, so i just mucked around, eventually happened upon type88 again and decided that instead of just immediately feeding her to the furnace, I’d watch the first chapter of her mod 3 story. I watched it, it made me just curious enough to look further, and well. ...I got into it. Exactly what I got into, i shall now just elaborate and summarise the whole thing in my own way! Warning, it’s long!

(disclosure: my summary will bias towards my own preferred interpretation whenever any aspect is somewhat vague.)

The story starts with type 88, or as she is called by others in griffin base, Ai, working her shift in the base’s cafe, because what else would she be doing.

i hate looking at her! Anyway, its just a pleasant peaceful day and Ai is taking the logistic person, kalina’s order when suddenly in the middle of a conversation, Ai freezes in place and starts making worrying sounds.

kalina here and the t-dolls present in the cafe are concerned, and talk about how Type88 has actually been crashing like this more and more frequently lately, yet has not reported any of this to the maintenance crew despite the advice of her friends. They try rebooting her on the spot, but it has an even more concerning effect, because she starts erratically acting like she doesn’t recognise the others, and talks about how she is a maid in “Jiangcheng Cafe”. Afraid that her neural cloud (her mind) has been scrambled, they put her to sleep and bring her to the repair bay.

Its in the repair bay where they explain exactly what is wrong with type88. She is a fairly old doll, and her processing capacity has been severally clogged up for a long time. Her internal memory is overflowing because many large sections of her mind is filled with very large encrypted files (memories that she stored away). she is likely to keep crashing and possibly even cease functioning entirely one day if those encrypted files are not deleted, but nobody is really keen on just deleting parts of her mind without her consent. For now, kalina just opts to try and decrypt the files and see what they are.

And from here, we watch type88 memories from her perspective. Sort of. Kind of. It gets complicated later but for now, we view the first memory of her life, not as a combat t-doll type88, but...

...as 59898, a doll designed to be what is basically a ‘crash test dummy’ for testing artillery technology in a research station. With a purpose like this, 59898 has an (ostensibly) rudimentary AI. Her learning ability is intended to be used to better aid the results of their testing, but she also knows how to understand and even imitate specific human gestures in order to better respond to instructions or conversation, even though she herself has no voice module to speak with. She is assigned to assist one specific person.

first off, i was pretty shocked right off the bat that this story above so many others actually has unique assets to it. The above two sprites don’t show up anywhere else in the game, i don’t think. Secondly, this woman’s name is only ever spelled with those white squares, so I’m stuck with having to just calling her ‘the pilot’, as dry as that sounds... I just don’t want to type out weird characters every time, or call her ‘triple cube’...

Anyway, so 59898 is assigned to help this woman in testing artillery tech (stuff like mechs and tanks). I should mention really quick that in the game’s story, during this point of time is when world war iii is happening, but that’s just a backdrop for robots to eventually gain more prominence. Anyway, we move on to the second memory, where some time has already passed. At the beginning of this memory, the pilot is visibly depressed, which 59898 takes note of.

Her ‘comfort mode’ consists of patting the pilot on the head, who while surprised, actually is grateful. She feels comfortable enough to talk about her worries aloud to the doll, mentioning how she is a war refugee and has to make a living in the research base because she can’t go back to her home in china, at least not before making enough money for a very expensive and exclusive train ticket. She continues to talk at length to the doll...

...not that the test doll is capable of responding to anything she says. The pilot insists that she’s happy just to have someone listen to her though, since she feels like she can’t really express her feelings to any other person on the base. Despite that-

That aside, the pilot says that referring to 59898 by her serial number all the time feels a bit weird, so she decides to give the doll a name. (I sure wish the story would give this woman a name too, other than ‘three white squares’ but oh well...)

She talks more with Jiangcheng Ai, or just Ai, after that, asking her if she’d like a change of clothes sometime, like some casual clothes, or an old maid outfit from an old cafe job she used to have (I guess they had to throw in any explanation for that outfit somehow) Point is, more and more time passes.

As time passes though, and we go into the third memory, the pilot brings up complaints to her superiors about how the more recent testings, becoming more increasingly intense and frequent, are putting a great strain on Ai, and even repairs can only help maintain her chassis so much. She insists on wanting to take Ai’s place in the testing, but they refuse because, well, Ai’s entire purpose is to take the strain of these tests so that the human pilot doesn’t have to, and the doll is just a tool there to pave the way for the pilot to eventually take over the mech in action

The next time Ai wakes up from her most recent repairs, the pilot is there to greet her, and Ai can tell straight away that she’s unhappy and tries to comfort her again. The pilot is not surprised at this and talks about how this is how Ai has been since they first met. She goes on to say how all the other people on the base don’t know her half as well as Ai does. Ai tries to understand and determine what the pilot’s intentions with saying all this is, but she cannot do so and can only listen while offering ‘executing - affirmative nod’.

The pilot talks about how once the war is over, she’d like to take Ai back home with her, where they could go to all sorts of gatherings, and the pilot would introduce Ai to her friends.

Ai reviews her personal data, confirming that she has no owners or obligations other than the pilot, so she executes another affirmative nod, and the pilot says this:

As Ai tries and fails to further determine this, something bad happens! if you’ve read this far, i’m sure you’ve already guess what happens next...

At that exact moment, a warning goes out and the research base is being attacked by nebulous enemy forces. With no time to talk anymore, both the pilot and Ai head out into their first real fight.

They spend a good long while repelling enemy forces, working well together and apparently using all sorts of wacky anime weaponry like beam blades and whatever ‘retrograde evasion’ is!

obviously though, you already know this isn’t going to end well for them... When the pilot takes a breather, Ai moves to protect her, but at a critical moment, a sudden high-speed projectile comes her way. In the next instance there’s a crash, and we move onto another memory. Where its all fire and debris, and Ai can’t move.

^ this text box actually repeats several times, indicating that she is repeating her scan for life signs over and over. She gets an internal warning from her systems (differentiated with red text) that she has insufficient power and it warns her to immediately cease ineffective operations. [Unable to detect owner life signs] repeats again.

At this point, uuuuh, its a little stupid actually? because two humans show up, reusing generic ‘bad guy’ sprites from other events that don’t match the current environment and situation at all (one is in a suit and the other is in casual clothes). but the reason they’re here is to provide exposition out loud about what happened. It looked like the human’s mech took a hit for the doll and was blown to bits, though they talk about how that doesn’t make any sense.

Ai at this point tries to execute a bunch of different actions like hugging [target not found] and screaming [no relevant module] but they all fail, and her internal systems tell her that her power is running out and she will cease to function in 30 seconds.

So in those last 30 seconds, Ai decides to quickly review her internal files. the damage she took has corrupted her memories and she doesn’t have the time to properly go through them, so she executes a ‘simulated processed records’, which basically mean she’s just filling the blanks of those memories herself with simulations.

And I have to say. I was decently into and enjoying this little story so far, but its this part that’s the reason i became forced to make this stupid giant post. the first ‘memory’ loads up, and we see the pilot.

Different ‘memories’ of the days spent with the pilot are loaded back to back, each are very short and only last a few lines. Across these files, the two of them talk comfortably with each other, Ai is invited to go get coffee with her, the pilot talks about how going alone is boring and would rather spend time with Ai, Ai saying back with her own words that she always likes spending time with her, etc etc etc.

And then finally, she loads one last ‘memory’, from earlier that same day, before the explosion and the fighting.

and she shuts down.

i passed by this scene the first time all calm, but an hour or so later when I was in the bathroom replacing shampoo bottles, i started thinking about it and I literally started sobbing. And then again later that night when i was in bed. I hate this game!!

so that’s the ‘end’ of that, and the next scene opens, once again in griffin base’s cafe, except...

Ai is sporting a brand new (ugly) look. She says she’d like to take kalina’s order but she was just leaving on other business, as she likes keeping herself busy with all sorts of work around the base ever since she got upgraded into a gundam gajinka. and after she leaves, kalina talks with the other dolls about how Ai used to have some cache issues because her neutral cloud was too full, but upgrading into this new chassis easily fixed that and even allowed her to make use of her old locked away abilities.

Because of the way this scene in the cafe opens up exactly like the very first one at the beginning, it makes me believe that this final scene is also a simulated ‘memory’, that is, Ai filling in the blanks of her corrupted memories with what she wishes to be reality. And i feel confident in believing that because after the scene fades to black, we see more of her internal system monologue.

She (the system) says that the priority execution is to preserve those encrypted memory logs. She does so, and the neural cloud upgrade is complete with confirmation of no loss files. With no risk of deletion in this new form, she executes the command to unlock the encrypted memories. And finally...

[spiderbread dies]

i still wouldn’t use her in gameplay because i can’t stand looking at her design but  i told you all i eat up robot with feelings stuff and this is like prime example of exactly that... and if i didn’t make this post, i think my own neutral cloud’s cache would be at risk of overflowing x_X!

[scribbles97]

Left Behind - Chapter 33

PART 1 / PART 2

Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29/ Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32

Read on on AO3

It wasn’t new to Scott any more, having Hugh Creighton-Ward sat in the infirmary keeping vigil over their mother. He trusted the man, knew that his mother did care deeply about him, and that she would appreciate his company when she did finally wake. 

 Because she was going to wake up. 

 Scott had to smile at how much busier the island had become, Hugh was there basically full time, Penelope flitting in and out between trying to find further leads on Gaat and her socialite lifestyle. Kyrano was much the same, trusting Kayo more with Island security as he focussed on hunting down the brother that had dared to hurt his family. 

He feared for Gaat when Kyrano did find him. The man was quiet in nature, but it hardly made him any less deadly. 

 “How is she?” He asked as he slid the infirmary door closed behind him, the question open to either man in the room. 

 Eli looked up from the holo-tablet he had been studying, “Your mother’s brain activity seems to have settled since we arrived on the island and got her comfortable.”

 “She knows she’s home,” Hugh murmured, glancing up from the bed, “We did the right thing bringing her back.”

 Scott nodded as he took her fingers in his, avoiding the bandages further up her hand. He hadn’t doubted they were doing the right thing bringing her home, none of them had except Uncle Lee and he had vanished off of the face of the earth. 

 “Can she hear us?”

 Eli shook his head, “It’s impossible to say.”

 He knew he would have talked regardless either way, it felt right to at least try and keep her updated even if she couldn’t do much about it. 

 “John and Ridley are going to go up to Five to start the retrofit,” He murmured, perching on the edge of the bed, “I’ll leave it for you to decide if that’s a good idea or not.”

 Across the bed Hugh smiled gently, “I somehow doubt she will mind. As long as you’re all safe.”

 Scott was going to reply, was going to admit that it was his brother’s safety that he worried about most of all, it scared him to think that if one of them got hurt it could be his fault.

 “Sco-ott!” Alan’s sing song voice stopped him before he could speak, “Virgil’s hurt and won’t admit it.”

 “I’m no--”

 “Save your breath, V.” Gordon cut him off, “John showed us your body cam footage.”

 He was standing immediately, all his freshest fears coming to the fore as he watched his four brothers enter the infirmary, Kayo tailing them, arms folded and face like thunder. The glare in her eyes was focused only on one of them though, Virgil still suited up, clearly walking more gingerly than Scott had seen him earlier. 

 “What happened?”

 It wasn’t him that spoke first though, Eli was already stepping forwards, grabbing a medscanner from the counter as he did. 

 “Some stupid stunt is what.” Kayo growled, “The hell were you thinking Virgil?”

 The venom in her voice had Scott frozen in place, not daring to rile her more by getting in the middle of whatever was going on. He had seen Kayo angry before, but never like this, this was different. The intensity was new. 

 “The guy fell from the basket, how else was I meant to save him?”

 “I’m going to put money on by not throwing yourself out of your ship and then using your ship to catch you whilst falling at terminal velocity.” Gordon chipped in. 

 Eli was across the room, medscanner on and attached to Virgil’s baldric. 

 “My suit has padding.” Virgil shrugged, “And the rescue was a success.”

 Eli scoffed as he stepped back, “This thing says you have multiple contusions. You’re getting a full scan before you’re cleared for duty.”

 Scott grinned over the doctor’s head, watching as Virgil visibly deflated with another protest that he was fine. 

 “Bruising does not equal fine.” Scott disagreed, mind racing at exactly what else could have gone wrong.

 “I agree.” Kayo muttered, “You took an unnecessary risk. I’d expect it of Scott but not of you.”

 The comment was obviously meant to sting Virgil, but Scott couldn’t help but wince at the reminder. She had a point too, he probably would have done something equally or more reckless. 

 “Guys,” Hugh murmured softly, glancing between them all, “Let’s see what the full scan says huh?”

 Scott turned back, hand once again finding his mother’s fingers as he realised Hugh’s true point. If she could hear them, it wasn’t the kind of thing she needed to know.

 “The man is walking and talking,” Hugh continued gently, “He might be a bit sore tomorrow, but he’s okay.”

 “I couldn’t let the kid lose his dad.” Virgil murmured, his baritone soft, “I know it was a stupid risk, but I know what it’s like to not…”

 Scott didn’t need him to finish the sentence, they all knew, they all understood. It was what had made them all so determined to do what they did. 

 Turning back to his younger brothers, he shook his head, trying to find the words to say.

 “I didn’t realise how close we were to the ground until I’d grabbed him. By then it was either get caught by Two or get smushed on the grass.”

 Scott felt his stomach lurch and for a moment he wasn’t sure if he was going to lose his lunch or not. It sounded close, the picture in his head painted it as closer than it probably was. 

 “I should have given you the readings,” John sighed, shaking his head, “If I’d have--”

 Virgil straightened, wincing as he did, “No, that’s not your job here John you don’t--”

 “As of twenty minutes ago it is.” Scott countered, looking to his red haired brother, immediately after answers.

 “No.” Virgil turned to Scott, “Don’t start on him this wasn’t… I didn’t know he was actually meant to be doing that. If I had I wouldn’t have cut him off.”

 Scott blanched, his glare dropping to match Kayo’s, “You what?” 

 “He was being a bug in my ear,” Virgil shook his head, “You know what it’s like when dispatch constantly go on like a little…”

 “I know.” Scott sighed, sinking down to perch on Mom’s mattress, more than part of him wishing she could give him all the answers. 

 What would Mom have done? Apart from tear Virgil a new one. Scott had been on the receiving end of those lectures often enough, he knew the routine by now. There was a procedure, a debrief to identify the problems and figure out what to do in similar situations in future. 

 Except Mom always managed to paint it as a dressing down, Scott wasn’t sure he could say quite so much to his brother without sounding like a hypocrite. 

 “Your Mom isn’t going to give you the answers Scott.” 

 He looked up at Aunt Val’s voice as she squeezed in between Gordon and Alan to lean on the table at the foot of the bed.

 “Nobody said we were having a team meeting.”

 Alan glanced around them all at her point, but pursed his lips and stayed silent, shrinking slightly on the spot. Scott could guess that the youngest was only hoping that he wouldn’t get kicked out. 

 “I took the liberty on catching myself up on what actually happened out there.” Val nodded, looking around to Virgil and pointing, “You, young man, screwed up royally.”

 Virgil’s eyes had dropped and his shoulders sagged at the reminder. Scott knew his brother, and knew he wouldn’t be taking it easy on himself. None of them were stupid, all of them knew when to own up to mistakes, Mom and Dad had spent their lives drilling it into them. Aunt Val didn’t need to drive the knife in deeper, not when they’d all already given him a lashing. 

 “But,” She held a finger up as Scott opened his mouth to speak, “Why was that? What were you missing in order to do better?”

 Virgil looked up, eyes darting to Scott and back to their Aunt, “I guess I needed to know how far we had to fall and how long we had before we hit the ground.”

 She nodded, eyes fixed across the room, “John, could you have given him that information?”

 A single nod was all the response he gave. 

 “What information were you giving Virgil instead?”

 John wilted, eyes darting to Virgil as he sighed, “I told him to move faster, that the man had fallen and--”

 “You panicked.” Val cut him off, head tilting, “If you want the job John, you’ve got to focus on the stats and information. You did it at NASA, question is can you do it for your family?”

 “I--” John stumbled, glancing from Virgil to Scott.

 “Of course he can!” Alan stepped forward, “John you can do anything.”

 He caught the way their Aunt smiled at the pair as she nodded, “I don’t doubt that Alan. I don’t doubt that this team can be the best it ever has been, but testing new ways of working whilst on call isn’t going to save lives. Out in the field you have to know where you all stand and what you all do.”

 Scott looked to their Aunt, catching her eye and giving a small nod of thanks, pep talk received loud and clear.

 “I’m not commander of this team,” She shrugged, “But if I was, I’d be looking at figuring out exactly how this is going to work and a week of training so everyone’s up to speed.”

 He nodded quickly, “Yeah, definitely.”

 “Now,” Just like that their fun-loving aunt was back again, eyes dancing as she watched Virgil, “You, medscan. The rest of you, dinner, before your Grandmother decides to cook something.”

 The others all filed out, even Hugh got chased away by their aunt leaving Scott shaking his head as Virgil began to peel off his suit. 

 “Hey, Scott?” Virgil murmured as he set his baldric down on the bed. 

 Scott looked up, eyes drawn away from Mom as Virgil pursed his lips.

 “I’m sorry.” He shrugged, eyes still looking past him, more focussed on their mother, “What I did was stupid and I didn’t think about…”

 Scott could guess the end to that sentence too, something far bigger than could be put into words, the fear and pressure that was on his shoulders alone to keep his baby brothers safe. The last thing he needed was them throwing themselves out of their ships and into the face of death. 

 “I couldn’t fail her though,” Virgil continued after a moment, “I just wanted to make her and Dad proud.”

 Scott sighed, shaking his head as he squeezed his mother’s fingers, “They’ll be proud no matter what V. Don’t forget that.”

 “I won’t.” Virgil cleared his throat, “I’ll be better in future, more careful.”

 Looking across to his brother Scott smirked, “You’d better be, or else you’ll be buying the dye for me when I go prematurely grey.”

 Virgil smiled, tilting his head slightly, “I thought you were already dying it?”

 Scott glared, “Go and get your scan, then I know if I can hit you or not.”

 Both laughed, each shaking their heads as Virgil stepped around the bed and headed for the back of the room where Eli was quietly fiddling with the machine. 

 Swallowing to himself, Scott shook his head and looked to Mom. Her face had a bit more colour to it, the scratches scabbed over and well on the way to healing. 

 “Come on Mom, I’m not sure I can keep this up forever.”

[cloudycrystalkpop]

L.U.C.K.Y. | Decade

pairing: Lay x doctor! reader

summary: L.U.C.K.Y au | after years of research you put into your work, and the amazing feats Subject 10 was capable of, your superiors didn’t value, not only your work, but the life of your Subject.

warnings: gender neutral reader, character death

words: 1.4k

notes: so, i hate to say this but i feel the need to. Lay has made some recent political statements i personally don’t agree with. however, regardless of them, i still wanted him to be a part of this story, as i feel the world of this au is at a great loss without him.

~

your fingers were beginning to cramp from the amount of typing you had done. they had given you two days notice. after all of the nights you’d spent, off the clock, desprity trying to show how foolish they were being. how much potential he had.

but it had all been pointless. they still wanted to pull the plug.

he had the potential to cure cancer, but they saw him as useless. just because he was “weak”. they were foolish.

the kindness of his voice and the gentleness of his nature was not a weakness, it was humanity. something they never saw their subjects as.

you let out a shaky breath, trying to blink away the intruding thoughts. no, these subjects were just that. it didn’t matter that they were men, they were to be the future. tools to end wars.

but you began to question your superiors. they didn’t want a healer on their battle field.

~

12 hours. that’s how much time you had before Subject 10 was terminated. you turned in your notes to the records department, blatantly ignoring the coworkers who tried to make small talk with you.

you briefly glanced at Subject 99’s discharge report from the medial wing. 99 would be fine, you have bigger problems to worry about.

in your brisk walk to Subject 10’s cell, you didn’t even register Doctor C.’s calling for you until she grabbed your wrist.

“hey!” you immediately wheeled around to face the woman. she looked a little disgruntled, and seemed to collapse in on herself at your glare.

“can i help you?” you voice was steady in its intimidation.

“uhm, i had hoped i could speak with you about what happened to Subject 99 yesterday.” the young woman straightened up, speaking more confidently to spite your glare.

“ah yes,” you looked down, pretending to flip through your papers for 99’s report. “you must be referring to where Subject 61,” you glanced up at the woman. “your responsibility, attacked 99.”

Doctor C. swallowed at your continued intimidation. you knew the young woman hated being talked down too, but for her treatment of your Subject, you couldn’t help but feel a bit petty.

“yes, that.” she took in a deep breath, but before she could speak you interrupted her.

“well i think we shouldn’t be surprised by Subject 61’s outbursts. he’s always been quite a bit to handle. but i do plan to bring up with Doctor B. about Subject 04’s involvement.” your voice was sharp.

“y-yes. i intent to ask him for his notes when he arrives.” C. nodded.

“lovely. i do hope you will pass them on to me after.” you pulled the sides of your mouth up into a tight lipped smile, not even bothering to match it with your eyes. “good day Doctor.” and with that, you briskly began your walk to Subject 10’s cell.

~

you scanned your name tag at the door before entering into Subject 10’s cell. the young man was already awake, gently flipping through the pages of a book.

you recalled him speaking about finally being able to read it. many of the Subjects were mostly illiterate, and while 10 still lacked the ability to write, he could now read and understand most of the story book. a child’s copy of Peter Pan.

the handsome young man smiled when he saw you. wishing you a good morning.

“you’re here earlier the usual.” he commented, calming walking up to you, extending his arm for you to take his vitals, same as every morning.

it’s true, you usually attended to Subject 99 first, as he was your main responsibility. you swallowed, you could not tell 10 of what your superiors planned to do to him.

“99 was just released from the medial wing. they took his stats before he left.” you stated. 10 frowned at your words.

“is he alright? shouldn’t you have gone to check on him?” 10’s concern for others was... something the people in this place didn’t deserve.

sometimes, even just calmly speaking with the man, you couldn’t help the guilt you felt that such a gentle soul had found themselves in a place like this.

“i am confident 99 is fine.” you reassured him, taking you stethoscope and pressing it to his chest. he breathed in and out deeply, just as he’d been taught to do.

you felt... some deep twinge of fear. the sound of his heart beating in your ears... was this your last chance to hear it...?

“Doctor... what’s wrong?” 10’s voice was soft and gentle, as always. his hands careful as they lowered yours from his chest.

you turned away from him quickly, placing the stethoscope back around your neck and jotting down your notes.

“i am perfectly fine. it is simply... another day.” you replied. 10’s lips curled into a soft smile.

“i see.” he walked back and took a seat on the small cot he had for a bed. “do you have a blood test for today?” he asked.

“no.” you bit your lip and cursed yourself for the wavering in your voice. 10 tilted his head like a curious cat.

“but it’s tuesday. you always take a blood sample on tuesdays.” he commented.

“...my superiors have...” your voice trailed off, words failing you.

“...it’s okay Doctor.” 10’s words were as sweet as usual. “i know.”

“pardon?” you inquired, finally turning to look at him. what you saw, was the kind, gentle smile on his lips, and tears glistening in his eyes.

“i know i’ll be terminated this evening.” his voice was quieter than usual.

“i- i beg your pardon.” you scrambled to collect yourself, but he simply smiled.

“i’ve known for a long time. don’t worry, no one snitched. i doubt any of the other doctors even know, but...” his gaze dropped to the floor. “an...old friend of mine let me know.”

you were silent. the Subjects had no friends other than each other. and even that kind of interaction was limited and heavily monitored.

“they called him 13. he was terminated a very long time ago.” 10’s voice was quiet, his eyes still glazed over.

you thought back. Subject 13 was terminated only a few days after you had joined the company. out of the other full time Doctors, you had been there the second longest. the senior doctor, was Doctor Z. their sole responsibility was Subject 88. but... you recalled reading something in the records... about a Subject 13.

“13 spoke to each of us before they killed him. i don’t know what he said to the others... but people say his doctor wasn’t ever the same after.” 10 finally looked up, small tears rolling down his cheeks. but... he still offered you a smile.

“he told you... when you were going to die?” you asked. 10 nodded, sniffling slightly and wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“yes. he was the third Subject to be terminated. and, i’ll be the fourth.” his tone was grave, but he still took a shaky breath. standing, he turned to face you. “will you... will you please watch out for the others?”

your heart broke looking at him. even now, as he talked about dying, rather then trying to think of a way to escape, he was worried for the other Subjects.

“yes. i will find out why, why they do this.” you planted your feet firmly, clenching your fists. 10 smiled softly, gently wandering up to you.

“and Doctor... please don’t let this make you cold. i’ll be okay. go take care of 99. don’t worry about me. just... please, be happy.” you stared at the man, unsure of how to respond to his final plea.

“i...” your voice failed you, as you felt the tears well up in your eyes. 10 wasn’t just wasted potential, he wasn’t just a cure for cancer your superiors were taking away, he was a kind, gentle, selfless person. a human being.

this wasn’t just killing a lab rat. this was murder.

“you have my word. this will never happen again.” the power in your voice surprised even you.

10 smiled at your reply. “before you go, can you help me with something?”

“of course.” you immediately followed the young man, as he pulled out the story book.

“can you tell me what this word says?” his question was full of childlike curiosity.

“...neverland. it’s the name of the place.” you replied. 10 quirked a brow.

“but... how can it be called ‘never land’ if they have to land to walk on the ground?” he wondered. you couldn’t help the small chuckle.

“i don’t know. that’s a good question.”

[21casino8]

An Overview of College Football and the NFL

An Overview of College Football and the NFL

From the first days of America Football, there have been many changes to the game. The rule changes from season to season reflect the evolution of the sport and how it is played on an individual level.

One of the first things that were changed when the game was introduced to the public was the playing positions. There were several basic positions to choose from before it was settled on what the most popular was. Nowadays, it has become a relatively even playing field, with college football and the NFL remaining at one end of the spectrum.

On Offense

In college football, the quarterback position has always been at the forefront of the game. If the quarterback has a large supply of passes, it allows the offense to get into more scoring areas. Yet, if the quarterback gets beaten with accuracy and throws the ball a great distance, the defense can play the ball down.

The running back is the top rusher on the field, usually at the top of the formation. The running back may also be the top receiver or ball carrier.

The wide receiver is primarily used as a decoy. He will line up behind the tight end and sometimes in front of the center. The pass will usually be thrown to the receiver, but once he’s beat, the defense is free to tackle him.

The offensive linemen are the ones who block on the field and hold the line of scrimmage in the middle of the field. They protect the quarterback and get into the secondary to make the tackles when the other positions are not in the game.

The offensive line is the one that keeps the defense honest, but the offensive line also blocks the defensive backs. It is the most important position because it controls the quarterback and is responsible for the running back. Once the quarterback is out of the play, the offensive line becomes the key to the running back and the quarterback getting to the next level.

On Defense

The defensive line is the most important position. Since the offense is not allowed to run plays against them, the lineman is able to control the defensive front and stop the run. There are some tactics that are used to keep the offensive linemen off balance and to limit their time in the backfield. 

The linebackers are responsible for stopping the running back and the quarterback. They are not the top run defenders, but they do have to make a tackle if the quarterback gets the ball. If the linebacker is able to bring down the runner, it will stop the drive.

College and Pros Positions – How Do they Differ

College football offers a few other positions for running backs. But their best chances for success are in high school. It’s because they are better suited for the college level. They can still make it to the next level in some cases.

In the pros, the quarterbacks, running backs, and wide receivers are important positions. It goes too with the offensive linemen position. They are involved in a variety of plays each week. The most important position is obviously the quarterback. But in college football, there is also the center, guard, linebacker, and defensive line. When the quarterback is able to make throws all over the field, it is very difficult for the defense to stop them.

The team is not only winning but they are improving the game every year. The rules have changed, the players are becoming better at what they do, and the fans are finding new ways to watch the game.

American Football Rules – The Evolution

There is little dispute that football is the most popular American sport. Americans of all ages have been watching their country’s greatest sport throughout the decades. They play it for entertainment, leisure, and competition. Football was in fact a product of the evolution of the game of rugby in Britain. This ancient sport has had a surprisingly strong presence in the United States.

Rugby, however, was seen as more dangerous than football because it involved tackling. It was also seen as less refined than the game that followed football. In other words, the Rugby League Football Association (RLFA) opposed the move. They fear that Americans would have an easier time playing American football than they would football. It was the RLFA that took the first steps toward adding American football to the NFL rules.

When football was finally allowed into the NFL, some NCAA football administrators objected it. That’s because the rules for American football were different from those in the rest of the world. There’s a time when various international organizations were at war with each other. Many argued that the rules were too difficult to understand. The NCAA believed that this was a violation of the NCAA constitution. In which it prohibited interference by other countries.

Through the decades the rules governing American football have been updated, along with its popularity. This is by increasing rules and regulations, particularly in NCAA Football. Many other international organizations were also pro-American football. Like the IOC, UEFA, and FIBA.

College Football Rules

American collegiate football rules are basically the same as those used in college basketball. Most of the changes were made to accommodate the changes in rules that occurred in the game of professional football. Because of the popularity of the sport, rules were changed to allow college athletes to compete. Some schools may have a special rule or rules package. They are best checked before applying for admission.

College football players must fulfill specific eligibility requirements to play college football. This includes the necessary GPA of two years at least, and there are a few exceptions. The NCAA requires that the scholarship athlete play a minimum of eleven years. Then he can become eligible to play professionally.

The Draft

The NCAA or college football rules allow them to participate in the NFL draft. The rule only applies to players who graduated in a specified amount of time after they were drafted by a team.

Also, the rules governing the NCAA and college football, professional football has more rules to follow. A player’s age determines whether he can enter the professional ranks. Other factors that affect a player’s ability to play in the professional ranks include being a criminal record or being found guilty of a felony.

The last rule involves equipment. All professional players must wear certain types of equipment. The rule has been in place since 1968 and does not apply to college players.

Each year, a number of American football players fail to meet the NCAA and professional rules. Either by testing positive for drugs or because they do not meet the minimum requirements to play professionally. These players, and any other team officials, are subject to discipline. Under the rules, players who test positive for drugs will be suspended for at least one season.

As with any other sport, American football has its critics. It remains a popular sport, and college and professional football players continue to make millions of dollars each year.

Betting Odds For Online Gambling

The college football season lasts from late October to early March. Every year there are millions of fans of the teams attending games, and there are plenty of betting odds on the games. With the highly competitive football leagues in the United States, you can place your bets on the games. College football is a great sport to bet on because there are so many teams and almost every game has high betting odds.

College football is more competitive than NFL football, but there are fewer teams. There are far more games played in the college football season, so the college football betting odds are greater. There are also more teams involved, which makes the overall betting odds higher. However, when you go with an online gambling website to place your bets, there are many different ways to place your bets. Betting odds on college football are dependent on which website you choose to use. For instance, some websites offer an account holder bonus, and some are free to join, while others offer you the opportunity to bet for free.

Each time you place a bet, you must check the college football betting odds to see which team you will bet on. You must be aware of the team’s record, or a win by the favorite would be a loss, but a loss by the underdog would be a win. If you want to play the numbers game, you could bet on the teams with the best winning percentage. If you think the favorites are favored to win, you could place a bet on them.

Tips on Betting the Right College Football Team

When you place a bet on the college football betting odds, you will need to know the game stats and the statistics for the game you are playing. It is easier to remember which team won the previous game. You may want to look at the stats for the games before you place your bet. There are many statistics you can find on the website that offers college football betting odds.

The college football betting odds for each game are dependent on how the last game was played. Sometimes there is no home-field advantage, but often there is, so make sure you check the statistics before you place your bet. The odds are usually low for each team, so you may want to try out different teams before you decide on one. The online gambling website may also give you access to the history of the teams to help you with the betting odds.

When you use the betting odds to place your bets, you should know how the points system works in the NCAA. All of the games have an even point amount. Yet, the winning team receives more points than the losing team. Or no points are awarded to the winners of the overtime games with the tie-breaker. Therefore, those games may have a high value to your college football betting odds.

The post An Overview of College Football and the NFL appeared first on 021 Casino.

from https://www.021casino.net/college-football/an-overview-of-college-football-and-the-nfl/

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#3yrsago Weapons of Math Destruction: invisible, ubiquitous algorithms are ruining millions of lives

I've been writing about the work of Cathy "Mathbabe" O'Neil for years: she's a radical data-scientist with a Harvard PhD in mathematics, who coined the term "Weapons of Math Destruction" to describe the ways that sloppy statistical modeling is punishing millions of people every day, and in more and more cases, destroying lives. Today, O'Neil brings her argument to print, with a fantastic, plainspoken, call to arms called (what else?)  Weapons of Math Destruction.

Discussions about big data's role in our society tends to focus on algorithms, but the algorithms for handling giant data sets are all well understood and work well. The real issue isn't algorithms, it's models. Models are what you get when you feed data to an algorithm and ask it to make predictions. As O'Neil puts it, "Models are opinions embedded in mathematics."

Other critical data scientists, like Patrick Ball from the Human Rights Data Analysis Group have located their critique in the same place. As Patrick once explained to me, you can train an algorithm to predict someone's height from their weight, but if your whole training set comes from a grade three class, and anyone who's self-conscious about their weight is allowed to skip the exercise, your model will predict that most people are about four feet tall. The problem isn't the algorithm, it's the training data and the lack of correction when the model produces erroneous conclusions.

Like Ball, O'Neil is enthusiastic about the power of data-driven modelling to be a force for good in the world, and like Ball, she despairs at the way that sloppy statistical work can produce gigantic profits for a few companies at the expense of millions of people -- all with the veneer of mathematical objectivity.

O'Neil calls these harmful models "Weapons of Math Destruction," and not all fault models qualify. For a model to be a WMD, it must be opaque to its subjects, harmful to their interests, and grow exponentially to run at huge scale.

These WMDs are now everywhere. The sleazy for-profit educational system has figured out how to use models to identify desperate people and sucker them into signing up for expensive, useless "educations" that are paid for with punitive student loans, backed by the federal government. That's how the University of Phoenix can be so profitable, even after spending upwards of $1B/year on marketing. They've built a WMD that brings students in at a steady clip despite the fact that they spend $2,225/student in marketing and only $892/student on instruction. Meanwhile, the high-efficacy, low-cost community colleges are all but invisible in the glare and roar of the University of Phoenix's marketing blitzkreig.

One highly visible characteristic of WMDs is their lack of feedback and tuning. In sports, teams use detailed statistical models to predict which athletes they should bid on, and to deploy those athletes when squaring off against opposing teams. But after the predicted event has occurred, the teams update their models to account for their failings. If you pass on a basketball player who goes to glory for a rival team, you update your model to help you do better in the next draft.

Compare this with the WMDs used against us in everyday life. The largest employers in America use commercial services to run their incoming resumes against a model of a "successful" worker. These models hold your employment future in their hands. If one rejects you and you go on to do brilliant work somewhere else, that fact is never used to refine the model. Everyone loses: job-seekers are arbitrarily excluded from employment, and employers miss out on great hires. Only the WMD merchants in the middle make out like bandits.

It's worth asking how we got here. Many forms of WMD were deployed as an answer to institutional bias -- in criminal sentencing, in school grading, in university admissions, in hiring and lending. The models are supposed to be race- and gender-blind, blind to privilege and connections.

But all too often, the models are trained with the biased data. The picture of a future successful Ivy League student or loan repayer is painted using data-points from the admittedly biased history of the institutions. All the Harvard grads or dutiful mortgage payers are fed to the algorithm, which dutifully predicts that tomorrow's Harvard alums and prime loan recipients will look just like yesterday's -- but now the bias gets the credibility of seeming objectivity.

This training problem is well known in stats, but largely ignored by WMD dealers. Companies that run their own Big Data initiatives, by contrast, are much more careful about refining their models. Amazon carefully tracks those customers who abandon their shopping carts, or who stop shopping after a couple of purchases. Their interested in knowing everything they can about "recidivism" among shoppers, and they combine statistical modelling with anthropology -- seeking out and talking to their subjects -- to improve their system.

The contrast with automated sentencing software -- now widely used in the US judicial system, and spreading rapidly around the world -- could not be more stark. Like Amazon's data scientists, the companies that sell sentencing apps are trying to predict recidivism, and their predictions can send one person to prison for decades and let another go free.

These brokers are training their model on the corrupted data of the past. They look at the racialized sentencing outcomes of the past -- the outcomes that sent young black men to prison for years for minor crack possession, while letting rich white men walk away from cocaine possession charges -- and conclude that people from poor neighborhoods, whose family members and friends have had run-ins with the law, and "predict" that this person will reoffend, and recommend long sentences to keep them away from society.

Unlike Amazon, these companies aren't looking to see whether longer sentences cause recidivism (by causing emotional damage and social isolation) and how prison beatings, solitary confinement and prison rape are related to the phenomenon. If the prison system was run like Amazon -- that is, with a commitment to reducing reoffending, rather than enriching justice-system contractors and satisfying revenge-hungry bigots in the electorate -- it would probably look like a Nordic prison: humane, sparsely populated, and oriented toward rehabilitation, addiction treatment, job training, and psychological counselling.

WMDs have transformed education for teachers and students. In the 1980s, the Reagan administration seized on a report called A Nation at Risk, which claimed that the US was on the verge of collapse due to its falling SAT scores. This was the starter-pistol for an all-out assault on teachers and public education, which continues to this day.

The most visible expression of this is the "value added" assessment of teachers, which uses a battery of standardized tests to assess teachers' performance from year to year. The statistical basis for these assessments is laughable (statistics work on big numbers, not classes of 25 kids -- assessments can swing 90% from one year to the next, making them no better than random number generators). Teachers -- good teachers, committed teachers -- lose their jobs over these tests.

Students, meanwhile, are taken away from real learning in order to take more and more tests, and those tests -- which are supposed to measure "aptitude" and thus shouldn't be amenable to expensive preparatory services -- determine their whole futures.

The Nation at Risk report that started it all turned out to be bullshit, by the way -- grounded in another laughable statistical error. Sandia Labs later audited the findings from the report and found that the researchers had failed to account for the ballooning number of students who were taking the SATs, bringing down the average score.

In other words: SATs were falling because more American kids were confident enough to try to go to college: the educational system was working so well that young people who would never have taken an SAT were taking it, and the larger pool of test-takers was bringing the average score down.

WMDs turn the whole of human life into a game of Search Engine Optimization. With SEO, merchants hire companies who claim to have reverse-engineered Google's opaque model and whose advice will move your URL further  up in its ranking.

When you pay someone thousands of dollars to prep your kid for the SATs, or to improve your ranking with the "e-score" providers that determine your creditworthiness, jobworthiness, or mortgageworthiness, you're recreating SEO, but for everything. It's a grim picture of the future: WMD makers and SEO experts locked in an endless arms-race to tweak their models to game one another, and all the rest of us being subjected to automated caprice or paying ransom to escape it (for now). In that future, we're all the product, not the customer (much less the citizen).

O'Neil's work is so important because she believes in data science. Algorithms can and will be used to locate people in difficulty: teachers with hard challenges, people in financial distress, people who are struggling in their jobs, students who need educational attention. It's up to us whether we use that information to exclude and further victimize those people, or help them with additional resources

Credit bureaux, e-scorers, and other entities that model us create externalities in the form of false positives -- from no-fly lists to credit-score errors to job score errors that cost us our careers. These errors cost them nothing to make, and something to fix -- and they're incredibly expensive to us. Like all negative externalities, the cost of cleaning them up (rehabilitating your job, finding a new home, serving a longer prison sentence, etc) is much higher than the savings to the firms, but we bear the costs and they reap the savings.

It's E Pluribus Unum reversed: models make many out of one, pigeonholing each of us as members of groups about whom generalizations -- often punitive ones (such as variable pricing) can be made.

Modelling won't go away: as a tool for guiding caring and helpful remedial systems, models are amazing. As a tool for punishing and disenfranchising, they are a nightmare. The choice is ours to make. O'Neil's book is a vital crash-course in the specialized kind of statistical knowledge we all need to interrogate the systems around us and demand better.

 Weapons of Math Destruction [Cathy O'Neil/Crown]

https://boingboing.net/2016/09/06/weapons-of-math-destruction-i.html

[underroleau]

underrole chapter 11

Steps echo, slow but steady.. an old house.. an old basement… then here I am, in front of the bridge that leads to the hall. I raise my eyes, just to see this pitiful creature standing in front of me.

- Why don’t you run this time? -

I watched him carefully, he could slow me down for quite some time… too much.

- No answer? You lost your tongue, with that dinosaur? -

Why isn’t he replying?

- C’mon now, only because I killed a few of your friends.. -

What an idiot, he is going to die just like the others.

- So, you’re scared now? AHAHAHAH!!! -

He can’t stop me! Wait… now he’s finally talking!

- Fear… no… right now I don’t feel anything. Only sadness, for you.. why are you doing this? -

He asked: in the silence of the bridge, next to a cliff, watching the old city.

- Sadness!! -

Sadness, he says; maybe I could tell him.

- You survived twice against me, and you managed to save that fish too. You have my respect for that. -

I take in a sharp, deep breath.

- Why am I doing this? Power!! The power to return where I need to be at this time!.. and I can’t make any mistake. -

He just stared, watching me with an inexpressive look. This guy just irritates me.

- So, you’re doing all of this to save someone? By killing all the monsters? Taking every life to go back?… Where. What is so important for you to want to get back to. -

I really need an opening to kill him quickly.

- Let me tell you a story. … Once upon a time, there were two friends, one promise, and one plan… the two friends worked hard, but one of them betrayed the other. -

Again, nothing. Isn’t he going to move?

- Then, they both died, and vanished away… Until today! This corrupted world needs to be erased, and I will fix everything! -

Still nothing.

- But you can’t understand, can you… you can’t even understand what you are! Human? Monster? Nothing! You are just an accident! And you have nothing worth living for! But, despite that… Even if you don’t know who you are or why you’re here, you tried to help your “friends”. -

What a disgusting creature.

- You saved them, but what have they ever done for you? Nothing more than experiments, right? They used you as a “cure” fo that fish. -

He is blinking. He is getting manipulated by my words..

- As I tried to find a way to get through that wall you friend lowered to make you guys escape, I got to the surveillance registrations. Undyne attacked you. She tried to kill you! And Alphys.. she tested your “blood”, as your soul wasn’t human. They let you live only because they couldn’t use you. They used your blood to save Undyne and your energy to stabilize her. And now? You are here! Ready to die again for them! -

An opening… there it is. He is crying, a soft crying. Tears are falling down his face.

- You’re right. All you said is true, but I had amazing moments with Alphys. -

He is smiling? Why!!!

- And don’t forget Endogeny… he was my best friend, before you killed him. -

A cold wind swept by the dust on the floor.

- Toriel was at my side when I was sick, and she took care of me. -

HE IS STILL TALKING.    

- Sans cheered me with puns when I needed them. And Asgore’s warm smile makes me feel good inside, but also in danger, but in the end, all I saw was a tired old monster.. he smiled at me when Alphys said that they couldn’t use my soul. I want to help you… but I can’t let you kill the last monster. -

- Right now, the only thing I have to do is stop you. -

Why does he keep crying? Why? I’m going to kill him like the others!!! I can’t hold back anymore.

ACT>CHECK Wave- ATK 30? - DEF 70 ...can’t afford to hold back anymore.

- No holding back, it’s time to have some fun! - ACT>SAVE

I’M READY! I started running, but then… a light?!

CONTINUE – RESET

Wait… what!! Did he kill me??? I didn’t see anything! How did it happen! … I need to calm down. I can always try over and over again.

RESET 2 I still can’t see his attacks. What changed from the first time?

RESET 15 I dodged his first attack, but something is wrong! Why can he deal so much damage now? He is very fast but he shouldn’t be able to do so much damage.

RESET 20 1 HP, every single time… I have 1 HP before I get killed.. What happened?! I don’t feel pain until I die, how does this work? I can’t fight if I don’t feel where the hit lands.

RESET 25 I’m doing it wrong, I have to learn his pattern before I can even attack, I have to wait…

RESET 35 He is too fast, I can’t land a hit. Damn it! If I get it one time, I have to use everything to stop me from being thrown in the air, piercing a knife in the ground should work. Lucky for me, I have all the knives I want.

RESET 39 I dodged his first three combos… I can’t believe he hid all that for this long! Those magic attacks are more dangerous than a deadly strike.

RESET 42 His magic can’t kill me, but his strenght isn���t human. He can just stop a knife with his bare hand. He is too fast and can dodge easily, something isn’t right. What is killing me?

RESET 48 I hit him, but he healed so quickly!

RESET 50 How many times did he kill me by now? Something is still wrong! Wrong! He never killed me befo… wait.

RESET 55 I got him! Ahah!! That stupid flower! He was hiding on the side of the bridge this whole time. I have no chance if he knows I know, he will change place. I have to block him, so the other can’t kill me.

RESET 60 ACT>CONTINUE This time he’s mine.

- Hehe -  

I can’t stop smiling! Finally I can kill him!

I run, dodge his first combo, it’s too fast to see but I memorized all the possibilities. Right, left, right, avoid the kick! Lower myself for the punch, go right, left, strike him, he dodges on the left and I throw the knife. He grabs it, and the flower is going to attack…

- NOW! -

Got it.

- Good try, flower. -

I jump on the left, grabbing the vines and pulling him, I dodge the first attack of the flower, jump back to the combo of the other, dodge the bullet from the flower, push him in front of me as a shield, and… WAVE KILLS HIM. The head of the flower falls on the floor. I throw aside what remains. I clench the knife.

- One down, you’re next! -

Kill him! It’s not the hard part… Jump left, right, dodge...dodge, dodge, keep dodging, he is striking at inhuman speed, dodge, dodge, dodge, he isn’t stopping, more dodging, a little more, he is hitting me from time to time but I can keep up no problem, I keep dodging, and dodging, more dodging, I can barely make one hit on him, just dodging, he is striking to bring me down, and I can’t kill him! I will not give up! Until I have an opening.

- …! -

That’s… the fish. She just opened the door. I run to her, strike, she jumps on the side shrieking but falls to the ground, I aim at her chest.

- …? -

Wave blocks the hit, that strikes him.

FINALLY, I GOT HIM.

The blow is so strong that he flies crashing against the door,  it’s no problem. I’m just that powerful. The door closes behind him, I’ll just have to destroy it.

- What’s this green aura? Is he healing me? I don’t care, maybe he missed the fish. Now lets’… -

The door doesn’t budge.

- … -

I try to cut it down. Nothing.

- ...why??? -

STATS: ATK 2 … HE LOWERED MY ATTACK, HOW???!!!

- I WILL KILL YOU ALL. -

No problem, I can wait.

ACT>SAVE

(…)

Inside the hall.

- No, no, no!! Not again! You stupid idiot! Why did you do this again!?? - Undyne cried, holding Wave – You’re not dust yet! Come on, where is that stupid healing of yours!!! -

Wave smiled weakly, before talking, slowly trailing off.

-  Undyne… don’t worry… it’s all going… to be fine. You can stop her, I know that… Where is Sans? -

Undyne was literally tearing up when she saw Wave’s body starting to crack, with light coming from within.

- He’s checking Toriel… You saved me again, stupid! Why did you do that?… -

Wave’s breathing was slowing down.

- Why… did you come out?… -

- I had a bad feeling… I was with Sans for a while, but I couldn’t shake it off… and then this happened! Again! Why can’t I protect anyone?? I failed Papyrus! Alphys! And now you! I tried, and you saved me twice… I can’t do anything… - Undyne cried loudly

Wave moved a hand to Undyne’s face, stroking her gently on the cheek.

- Hey… didn’t you.. know? Saving you is my favorite hobby. - he cackled.

- Heh… you can say that right now… I’m jealous, you really are a hero. - Undyne admitted, forcing a weak smile.

In that instant, Sans entered the hall.

- I checked on the lad… - he begun, stopping as soon as his eyes landed on the scene, Wave head resting on Undyne’s legs on the floor- ...what happened? -

- He saved me again. -

- Not again! - gasped the skeleton, joining them.

- Shh… - Wave’s body was cracking and becoming dust very slowly, starting with his legs. - Now it’s not time for that… She will come back in a few minutes.. and I’m so tired of fighting… - he said, taking a long breath. His legs were shining in warm light, and his face started to crack and becoming light as well. - You guys are the last line of defense, so don’t be sad for me.. Stop her before it’s too late. - He took a weak breath, sighting – Undyne, you say you’re not a hero, but a real hero shows what they’re made of when the fight gets tough! -

Before Undyne or Sans could reply, a sound from the door could be heard.

Sans watched the little creature moving forward, so he got up, slipping his hands in the hoodie pockets, and stepping forward.

- I know that promise was a mistake! But now is time to end this because... it's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like this, kids like you, should be burning in the hell!  -

- LET'S GO COMEDIAN IS YOUR TURN TO DIE!! - the human announced, with a sickly grin on it’s face.

The creature was ready to fight and Sans was waiting.

Wave faded away in light with a last, whispered sentence:

- Heroes are born in the moments of need… - A voice roared in the hallway, startling the presents.- 

The wind is burning! The glass is vibrating! The light is on fire! You  know… you’re going to burn in hell.

 -Sans and the creature turned around to see who spoke, and she was walking towards them. The ground vibrating under her, the rock pulverizing as she proceeded, and the pillars where shaking. -

 You… -Fire exploded, with a bright light, too bright to see anything.- This, was your last kill!! I, Undyne, will tear you apart until nothing is left!! -The light faded away, and a new Undyne appeared. Her hair was burning, her armor was black and made to be like a second skin, with a big heart in the middle of her chest. Red lines connected to it branched outwards, flowing with energy; three shiny soul fragments were placed on the armor, her spear orange colored vibrating with power, moving the air around it. Even her eyes changed color, one red, one orange.She smiled, and a strong pressure filled the room. - THE GAME BEGINS NOW. 

-The floor was shaking and cracking. And Undyne screamed, releasing a wave of hot air. - This is the END! - [masterpost soon] @nephdetermined  IS THE BIG ARTIST BEHIND THIS FIX :o:!!! GO PRAISE HER !!

 and thanks !!! THANKS BLOB FOR THIS AMAZING COMICS ;W;!! i love it with all my heart !!! @blobtheartist MASTERPOST

[kara-querl]

Karadox in the Silver Age Part 1

Please. . .please. . .Don't hate me . . .!

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Issue: Action Comics #276 Date: May 1961 Writers: Jerry Siegel Pencils: Jim Mooney Inker: Jim Mooney   Available in:  Legion of Super-Heroes the Silver Age Vol. 1 Legion of Super-Heroes the Silver Ave Omnibus Vol. 1

So in the poll adorable #silverage (1956-1970) #karadox beat out bronze so I am going to go back to the beginning and show you how it all began. to stat off how about the first ever panel in which Brainy appeared (ignoring later retcons)

The day starts out with poor Kara in her Linda Lee disguise at the orphanage where Kal El dumped her being depressed about not having friends. (This was even before she was adopted by the Danvers) For all her superpowers Kara was still a teen longing for approval and belonging.

Where is Lena? Well it would be another year and a half before they met and still Lena really only knew Linda and Supergirl as separate people. Most of her 20th century friends were either Linda or Supergirl's friends while the legion knew a truly integrated version of Kara.

Now as backstory long long before Kara befriended Lena, Brainy, Mon EL or J'onn Saturn Girl had invited her to join the legion and even though she failed on a technicality they had become friends. This is a lot of what angered me about her treatment last season.

(Panel is from  Action Comics #267, Reprinted in Action Comics #334 and  Adventure Comics #492) So while Kara/Linda is feeling lonely Saturn Girl (Imra) arrives and hears her thoughts. So she decides to meet her in disguise? and how does Kara not recognize the costume?

Note the use of jet packs as Brainy has not yet joined the team or invented the flight rings.

Then Phantom Girl and Triplicate Girl (Kal El's future girlfriend he had a lot of girlfriends in the 60s) appear to offer their friendship to Kara. It seems she has more friends than she thought.

They then all pile in the time bubble so Kara does not risk exposure to Red Kryptonite again (which got her disqualified previously) We will find out later that the time bubble is one of Brainiac 5's inventions while working at the Time Institute before joining the Legion.

Much later in the Bronze Age (Secrets of the Legion of Super-Heroes 1981) we learn that from the Legion's point of view Kara actually joined first before Superboy, but I do not thing that was the original intent.

This would then set up the reveal that Brainiac 5 did not invent time travel to retrieve Superboy for RJ Brande but to meet Supergirl and possibly prolong her life. (Legion of Super-Heroes #16)

But I digress. When the girls reach the future they are greated by Cosmic Boy and Lightning Lad who also became friends with Kara on her first attempt to join the Legion. They invite her to try out for the legion again and introduce her to some of the other contestants.

Which brings up back to: "As a handsome, green-skinned youth approaches the club table. . ." Kara has this feeling she has seen him somewhere before. . .

Look at his scared face as he reveals his heritage.

This would be echoed years later in the JLU episode "Far From Home" with the line:

"Just because he is SERIOUSLY CUTE does not mean we should trust a Brainiac" ~Supergirl

"I understand your loathing for the fiend who was my ancestor! But please. . .please. . .Don't hate me . . .!" ~Brainy 

Seeing Supergirl is not quite convinced he continues to plead his case. Kara for her part keeps urging him to talk so she can stare longingly into his eyes. So this leads to Querl spilling way more information about the future than he should to Kara.

Still she doubts him. He has his work cut out for him but at least she is looking his way.

Later when Laurel Gand took over Kara's history this origin is retold with some slight differences. (Legion of Super-Heroes Vol 4 #9)

Next come the actual tryouts where each candidate must display a talent no other legionnaire possesses. Kara goes for super digging and brings back a collection of long lost historical treasures. Brainy is enthralled with her every movement.

This also would later be retold for Laurel Gand, 

Supergirl Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade 

and when Kara finally returned after her 20 year banishment. (Supergirl Annual #2)

Suddenly up runs handsome Querl with his belt in his hand begging Kara to let him put it on her. This is rather forward for having just met and being a girl from 1961 but Kara rolls with it... no sooner does she put it on when a kryptonite meteor hurls towards them!!! 

This is the first time we ever see Brainy's force shield belt and it is Kara who is using it. She quickly understands she is protected and proceeds to save Querl from being crushed by smashing the kryptonite to pieces. This trust and teamwork is really the heart of #karadox

Brainy doesn't need to explain how the belt works he trusts she is smart enough to not only figure out what it does but know how he intended her to use it. 

While Lightning Lad and Cosmic Boy load the bits of kryptonite into the back of a Chevy El Camino, Kara has plenty of time to ask why Brainy would take such a risk to his own life. "I'm no villian, although my ancestor was! I'd gladly sacrifice my life to save your, any time!" ~ Brainy

This line, along with another you will hear in a minute was uttered by Brainy while he lay unconscious in Supergirl Annual #2 (2010) (Because @sterlinggates is a master, a scholar and an epic Supergirl stan. Go buy this issue now!)

As the El Camino speeds away full of kryptonite (100% sure that OSHA would not be ok with this) We get the first hint that Kara is coming around. "He's sweet" She tries to return the belt but Brainy makes it a gift... What happens to it... We will get to that.

I think you can guess who the 2 new Legionnaire's end up being. #karadox Don't worry though Shrinking Violet, Sun Boy and Bouncing Boy all make it in eventually.

But soon Querl, in possibly his most forward romantic overture ever, gathers up his courage and asks her to stay and be his girl. But Kara's duty to Kal El is absolute it is the same devotion to her cousin that would eventually lead to her sacrificing her own life but that is years away and it is her sense of duty that truly gives her her strength. Don't worry though they will be seeing more of each other soon.

Her super-girlfriends take her home via time bubble, but soon Kara begins to contemplate the true ramifications of Brainiac 5's present.

(Everyone is starting to see now the true ramifications of stripping Brainy of his invention of the force shield belt. Without it he would not have won Kara's heart. I am sure they can write a new story but it is a large part of theirs missing. #thebeltisbrainys)

So she calls up her mer friends to see if they can help her test the belt. Now Jerro the Merboy is a total Supergirl stalker. Hence hanging out by her giant portrait in the art gallery. Now that Brainy is in the picture he begins to fade away until he finally gives up pursuit. But that will be in the next chapter.

Eventually after a few more adventures she uses up all the battery in her belt and returns to the orphanage.

But now she knows that she not only has 3 (5 if you count Lournu's duplicates) Super Girlfriends and 2 Super Boyfriends.

Next chapter: Supergirl’s Coming Out Party 

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[nellynee]

(So I got a little behind on OK KO for a bit, and I had this in my drafts since before the Mr, Logic flashback episode. It’s been sitting around there since then, as I wanted to update this after catching up. BUT I’m actually forming a whole new thought thread based on what I’m seeing, so I’m posting this now as it was as a precursor to that. It’s a little outdated, but still holds a lot of relevant thoughts and I want to post it for reference.) 

Ok so like, I wrote like six paragraphs on why the whole Pow card system frustrates me and I don’t know if anyone else has come to this conclusion and I haven’t seen it, or if this is just obvious to everyone and I’m an idiot for pointing it out. But like wow (I’ll get to Boxman’s level in a second just let me set the stage as it were)

POW card level isn’t an indicator of power level, it’s a reflection of your career as a whole, completely independent from physical stats like strength and speed and such.  

I mean it makes total sense. Again, stop me if I’m just talking about the thing the fandom doesn’t talk about because it’s obvious but like....

On the scale we see (heros specifically)  0-1 (neutral parties, Hero’s who don’t put in a lot of active effort, new comers) 2-3 (those that are active, but repetitive in efforts. Don’t have many chances to prove significant jumps in heroism, the day to day heroes) 4-7 (young hero’s in official schooling systems who have more opportunity to prove themselves, and veterans with inactive careers, like Red Action and some of the older cast, 8-9 (those typically in this category are flashbacks, eventual bigshots who are still early in their career, see Laserblast) 10 and up (Veterans and big shots who are still extremely active)

(But “You’re level 100″ indicates that two level 5′s could beat a level 10 like it’s a power quantifier. I’m going with “K.O.’s idea, he’s a kid who doesn’t quite have it worked out, which is why no one else thought along those lines and indulged him. It worked, but there was no connection between the level and effectiveness, after Enid beat Elodie with skill alone, despite being a lower level, meaning it isn’t a one for one anyways)

We see POW card level being used as a badge of honor less as a means of “look how tough I am” and more “Look at everything I’ve DONE

after all, K.O. is less than 1, but we know for a fact he has a lot of hidden potential and power. So in this system, you could have low level hero’s who are extremely powerful, just inactive, or are still building their careers.

Shadowy Figure using his POW card as proof he’s trustworthy makes more sense. A powerful hero may be impressive, but if it’s an indicator of past deeds, then someone doing enough active good to be a level 8 is making good choices and is trustworthy

Outliers make more sense. Big Darrel, since he’s considered a separate entity level wise, exists only for a short amount of time and exclusively does bad deeds. With how Boxman bragged about Big Darrel’s level, I wouldn’t put it past him to have artificially inflated it to bust the Plaza’s moral. Hero and Galgarion as well. Hero doesn’t seem ridiculously OP for his level, and his increase comes from many small repetitive heroic actions, not actually getting stronger. It would make sense for two brothers to get into a POW level pissing contest for their initial disagreement as well.

Basically, level is bragging rights, the culmination of good vs bad deeds

I’ve got a lot more little details like that but the reason I’m bringing all this up here is Boxman’s Level, which has been the unexplained outlier for so long. He doesn’t seem to be the physical equivalent in power to Carol, who’s of the same level, and he gets no respect for his level despite being so high, and taken in the context as a career quantifier, that attitude towards him makes more sense now.

We get verbal confirmation in universe from Venomous that P.O.I.N.T. has significantly better resources than any of the villains. The indicated high grade villains also show a healthy fear of them, and “Villain’s night out” shows them as significantly outclassed. I’m not saying it for sure, but I wouldn’t put it past the current culture for P.O.I.N.T. to be purposefully stalling the villains out from a legislation standpoint. (edit side note: OH MY GOD The confirmation in Point to the Plaza that Point works like some sort of martial law and is a strong authoritarian presence of leadership in the culture of this world iS SO VALIDATING. I’ve been theorizing that POINT might be using “for your own good” mentalities to bully their views and how that might affect the general villainous populous FOREVER) The highest levels we see other than those that are grossly inflated (big Darrel, Galgarion) are Boxman, with the rest of them sitting pretty comfortably at 7′s and 8′s, several levels bellow most veteran hero’s

Boxman may be a much higher level than the rest of them, but he doesn’t play nice, doesn’t make an effort at teamwork for the greater evil agenda. Going solo, he doesn’t have much of a claim to regular impressive evil actions, his number one nemesis is a shopping center, his robots fail often (probably on the field after being sold too). He’s impulsive and hammy and doesn’t seem to plan things through. He’s probably seen as a one hit wonder has been at best, and at worst, a guy who got lucky once, got a very good level for it, and can’t recreate actual success. He gets little respect from other villains because he does nothing to cultivate respect from other villains. He’s not considered competent in part because of his rash temper causing mistakes yes, but also because he doesn’t fit in with conventional villain culture.

That being said, I absolutely believe in the #realness of his level

There is just to much evidence in favor of it

My personal first indicator was Boxman’s conversational tone in “Villain’s night Out” when discussing P.O.I.N.T.. His tone didn’t indicate bragging to me. it was less “Oh yeah I’m so tough POINT is out for me too” talk up, but more “Oh yeah jeeze, I can’t totally empathize and connect with you on this issue”. I chalked it up at the time to weird delivery, but my second watch through of the series it did make me more alert. Boxman’s internal robots, Mr. Logic, Earnesto, those meant for personal use and not exposed to the populace, are MUCH more competent than his heavy hitters. (edit: this was written before I watched “ok dendy let’s be ko”, but in a way this still stands. I do have thoughts about Ernesto on the field, which will come with the next big meta piece I have, but this is still relevant, trust me.) His acknowledgement of his personal flaws, working on them actively, but getting no where. His secret projects and the experimental nature of the random weapons and upgrades on his robots when he sends them out. His bursts of cruelty and hyper competence. The fact that Boxman is the only regular and discernible threat on the Plaza, and despite Garr being it’s overseer and a very competent one at that, Carol has apparently been placed by some organization (probably POINT) to make sure everything is under control…

Don’t get me wrong, I do think Boxman’s flaws are legit and not a rouse. He’s over focused on the Plaza, has trouble planning too far ahead, as a hair trigger temper and impulse control issues…

But I also think Boxman is hobbling himself.

*I think he did something big, something huge, or a had a series of larger victories. Started a name for himself. And POINT retaliated, HARD.

And being very much an all or nothing sort of attacker, being perfectly aware of his capabilities and flaws, Boxman may has been laying low since then. I think Boxman is 100% serious when he mentioned POINT always interfering in his plans to Venomous. Whether it’s a show of power, or more likely, financial crippling him in a way that he’s constantly pushing against, POINT has been keep an eye on him all this time and he knows it.*-(edit: again, I understand that this is in at least some small ways disproved by Lad and Logic, as we see that at that point, at the start of his obsession with the Plaza, Boxman has never openly attacked POINT, but is planning to, and we see the start and reasoning behind Boxmore industries. But I also feel that my reasoning still stands as well. also to be continued in my other meta post)

I think he’s crippling his robots on purpose, emotionally at least, to try and walk the fine line between the small destruction he craves and keep out of the limelight. I think he picked the Plaza as an easy place to test his experiments and make himself seem less competent with his goals to shake the heat and it got to real for him. I think he knows he’s only going to have one chance to make a big stand and he’s been working behind the scenes all this time. He’s been committing small time villainy to shake the trail off his bigger plans.

I think the show is sleeping on him, because he’s sleeping on him. He’s not ready to break his plans open yet.

I think part of Venomous’ reaction towards him in “We’re captured” and “Villain’s night out” were as much a hilarious evil boner as it was the realization that maybe Boxman’s past success wasn’t a fluke, that there’s competence enough to work with once you wade through all the ham that it might work. I think Venomous is just as bad as Boxman when it comes to classic hammy villain shenanigans, but has at least learned to fit in in modern Villain culture, and has realized that Boxman might be his one opportunity to go big or go home.

[lumikinetic]

I documented Doomguy’s history... It went about as well as expected

So we all know Doomguy is a total fucking badass.

But how badass?

Well…

· Sent to Phobos, one of Mars’ moons, as punishment for assaulting CO who ordered to fire on civilians.

· Demons invade Mars cause UAC fucked with Hell energy science

· Kills all the demons on Phobos

· Teleports to Deimos, one of Mars’ other moons

· Kills all the demons on Deimos

· Kills Hell’s mightiest warrior, the Cyberdemon

· Goes to Hell

· Kills all the demons in Hell

· Kills the Spider Mastermind, the demon who planned the entire invasion

· “Proven too tough for Hell to contain” and is promptly ejected from Hell

· Ejected onto Earth where demons have invaded

· Humans plan to leave Earth but the only ground spaceport gets overrun and demons place a barrier over the spaceport preventing humans from leaving

· Kills all the demons and deactivates the force field

· Saves humankind

· Receives a transmission telling him where the armies of Hell are coming from

· Goes and kills all the demons there

· Does not see a solution on Earth so goes back to Hell

· Kills all the demons in Hell

· Kills Satan

· Goes to Jupiter’s moon, Io, where the UAC restart dimensional gateway experiments (because it went so well last time)

· Io is overrun by demons

· Kills all the demons on Io

· Kills Satan again

· UAC is taken under new management (because all the old trustees and stockholders are dead) and start developing tools to prevent more invasions (good luck with that)

· UAC start making a Quantum Accelerator which closes invasion Gates

· The research draws the attention of demons and they invade

· The Quantum Accelerator actually works and the demons are locked out so the UAC’s research continues more boldly (wow good job guys!)

· The very next day, 7 invasion Gates open

· The Quantum Accelerators close 6 of them but there are too many demons (so close!)

· The last Gate remains open and is guarded by a powerful, enormous, ancient Gatekeeper demon

· Doomguy is on leave at the beach and is closest to the facility so he gets to the UAC first

· Realises the other Marines will arrive too late

· Decides to kill all the demons himself plus the Gatekeeper

· Returns to Earth

· The government find out that there are still dregs of demons on Phobos and Deimos, so they drop a fuckton of radiation on the moons.

· A creature survives the exposure and it has the ability to resurrect demons

· The creature revived all the demons, making them EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE

· A Marine strike force is deployed and guess who’s the only survivor?

· Kills all the demons on Phobos and Deimos again

We’re up to Doom 3 by the way.

· A few years later and the UAC Mars base has been refurbished. Doomguy is tasked with finding a missing scientist.

· Finds the scientist who is trying to warn the UAC Earth base about the teleportation experiments of Malcolm Betruger, the guy in charge of UAC Mars Division

· Tries to tell the Marine but one of the tests loses containment and a shockwave transforms everyone into zombies

· Demons invade through the teleporter

· Tasked with getting a distress signal communication card thingy

· Kills demons with a Marine squad

· Squad is ambushed at the EnPro Plant

· Recovers communication card but communication equipment gets heavily damaged.

· Here the player has a choice to send the signal via back up communications array (and obey orders) or not (so Earth is not endangered)

· Sent to the Delta Labs where Betruger is shown to be working directly with Hell to invade Earth

· If the player does not send the signal, Betruger does it anyway, hoping it will bring reinforcement ships so demons can be sent to Earth

· Betruger then tries to kill the Doomguy using toxic gases (BECAUSE APPARENTLY ALL THE STORIES ABOUT THIS FUCKING DEMON MURDER MACHINE SIMPLY KINDA JUST PHASED OUT OF COMMON KNOWLEDGE)

· Betruger fails

· Doomguy learns more about the teleportation experiments and how they were expeditions into Hell to bring back specimens as well as an archaeological dig of an ancient civilisation

· The dig turned up the Soul Cube. What the fuck is a Soul Cube? Well friend, it is a weapon to defend against the forces of Hell. Nice

· Betruger took the Soul Cube and put it in Hell. Fuck

· Goes back to Hell

· Kills all the demons in Hell

· Kills the Guardian of the Soul Cube

· Retrieves the Soul Cube

· Goes back to Delta Labs

· Discovers that though the main teleporter is destroyed, Hell is opening a Hellmouth to allow millions of demons onto Mars

· Then finds out that his Sergeant Thomas Kelly was also working for Hell and has been transformed by the demons (remember, he is technically still in service as a Marine, despite going off alone all the time)

· Learns the location of the Hellmouth

· Finds Kelly

· Kelly taunts Doomguy in a demonic voice (HE FUCKING WORKS FOR YOU! HE IS FUCKING PART OF YOUR FUCKING UNIT! HOW THE FUCK HAVE YOU NOT FUCKING HEARD THE FUCKING STORIES ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK THIS MAN CAN FUCKING DO???!!!!)

· Kills Kelly

· Takes the BFG-9000

· Goes back to where the Soul Cube was found

· Kills another Cyberdemon (with help from the Soul Cube)

· Seals the Hellmouth

· Reinforcements get to Mars (real great timing guys)

· Betruger is shown to be reincarnated in Hell as a dragon-like demon

· UAC detects a signal from Mars and sends a team to investigate

· The team finds an Artifact, Hell is alerted and a new invasion begins

· A new character, McNeil tasks the Doomguy with stopping the invasion by returning the Artifact to Hell

· Kills three Hell Hunters (demons who are trying to find the Artifact) and absorbs their powers into it

· Goes back to Hell. HE GOES BACK TO HELL. THAT IS 4 TIMES NOW

· Kills all the demons

· Gets to Betruger (now known as the demon Maledict)

· Kills him

· Goes back to Mars

And now we come to DOOM 2016

· Doomguy has since performed a hostile takeover of Hell and has taken up permanent residence to make sure no more invasions happen. He was tricked and had a temple dropped on him, after which he was encased in a cursed sarcophagus. The UAC are attempting to draw energy from Hell to combat the energy crisis on Earth (SERIOUSLY???!!!). One of their scientists, Olivia Pierce, has made a pact with Hell and opened a portal. Current UAC director Samuel Hayden opens the sarcophagus, releasing the Doomguy.

· Retrieves Praetor Suit – a suit made for him BY DEMONS IN HELL when his old suit was destroyed.

· Kills all the demons in the first section of the UAC

· Goes to Hell

· Kills all the demons in Kadingir Sanctum

· Goes back to Mars

· Kills all the demons

· Goes back to Hell

· Kills all the demons in Titan’s Realm

· Kills all the demons in The Necropolis

· Recovers a magical blade called The Crucible

· Goes back to Mars

· Kills the rest of the demons in the UAC at VEGA Central Processing

· Goes to the Argent D’Nur

· Kills the demons there

· Destroys the Hell portal’s power source

· Kills Pierce, who transforms into the Spider Mastermind

· Returns to Mars

· Hayden confiscates The Crucible as Earth is too desperate for energy to give up

· Acknowledges he cannot kill Doomguy cause unlike Kelly and Betruger, Hayden actually has a brain and teleports him to an undisclosed location saying they will meet again.

· Uhhhhh DOOM 5 happens I guess.

All in all, here are the stats:

Demonic invasions stopped – 14

Trips to Hell taken – 6

Attempts on his life by non-demons – 2

Like

WHO

DARES

 NAME A BIGGER BADASS

 THAN DOOMGUY?

[braindamageforbeginners]

A New Doctor

Cycle 9, Day 10

So, I now have at least a half-dozen physicians on my case. If you believe the BMJ stat that “medical misadvenure” (which is a broad category that includes, but is not limited to, doctor error, nursing error, pharmacy screw-ups, misdiagnosis, accidental overdose/drug interactions, opportunistic infections - the list goes on) is the third-leading cause of death in America (according to the same study, heart disease is #1 and cancer is #2). So, for those for those of you setting odds on my life expectancy (and, frankly, I’d be disappointed if you didn’t), it’s been an odd, extended game of “Clue,” except I’m Mr. Body, to see if disease, side-effects, or my possibly-insane physicians will get to me first. I hate to say it, but I think I’ve finally figured the odds-on favorite in this one: my GP.

This isn’t a plea for help, or even a serious medical development on my part, it’s a warning for you, the readership, as insurance enrollment comes around. First of all, if you can’t pay, hospitals or physicians can throw you out on the street (this is something able-bodied people are so disbelieving of that took a poor black woman freezing to death on-camera in Baltimore). They are only required to treat you if you in an emergency situation, thanks to some federal laws called “EMTALA.”If you have a disease that drives you to the emergency room, the prognosis gets worse. People tend believe that just because it’s the healthcare industry, the health insurance industry isn’t a corrosive force that has a vested interest in denying care and killing you. Which is odd to me; you don’t get this anywhere else (or I haven’t experienced this sort of self-delusional attitude); you don’t see people defending McDonald’s or Nabisco or RJ Reynolds or Exxon as having their best interests at heart (and, to my friends who think they’re bullet-proof because of their health insurance, read the fine print, very, very carefully; you don’t want to get a nasty shock as you’re being rolled into the OR). So, thanks to my parent’s generosity/desire not to see me die, I rolled in last year with a very expensive PPO (there are a lot of acronyms to keep track of, but PPOs allow the patient to see anyone in a preferred provider network, which tend to be large and give the patient lots of choices, so you can directly get a referral to a neurologist if you hit your head). Unfortunately, because I have pre-existing conditions (and to my bullet-proof friends, read through the list of pre-existing conditions that’ll disqualify you, your jaw will drop)(also, it’s telling that Congressmen and Senators have the option to buy into a separate, federal employee health insurance option that’s not available to us serfs)(it’s also telling that the ACA required Congresscritters, for the first time ever, to tough it out and find health insurance like their constituents)(which is why I assume all the GOP higher-ups had melt-downs over the ACA - a slight removal of privilege to help sick constituents isn’t a part of Congressional ethos, let alone job description), my premiums went from “expensive” to “leasing a sports car” within a few months. I’m extraordinarily grateful to them for providing that financial backing, because it allowed me to continue getting treatment during the crucial 6-10 week GBM post-diagnosis period that might turn this from “Guaranteed doom” to “far too close for comfort.” So, this did give me some time to do my homework (in writing about this, I’m realizing I really should consider applying to law school, because I’ll know more about medical and insurance law and ethics than some lawyers before this is up)(Hell, I probably know more than some of them right now). Anyway, I found that all the specialists I see for cancer, do take medicaid (even the specialized pharmacy I use at the cancer center). Which is good for me, especially since being on disability in California is an automatic qualification for Medicaid. Now for the bad news; although all the specialists there take medicaid, the GPs don’t. AND the specialists only take medicaid if it’s done through an HMO carrier that the state sub-contracts with.

Great Kraken’s Balls.

There are a number of documentaries and documents (including an “Adam Ruins Everything” segment) on why HMO’s are unnecessary and lethally incompetent (like many other aspects of a for-profit medical system), but here’s the most basic deal: They act as a gate-keeper for the entire medical-industrial system. You can get your care at any of a dozen pre-approved hospitals, and nowhere else. Now, if an HMO or their doctors can’t treat you (or refuse to treat you - which is still the case for a lot of GBM patients), they are required to send you to a specialist who can. The economic incentive is to give less care, and keep all the patients in the system for as long as possible.

I suspect that delaying tactic is why heart disease and cancer are considered so deadly - you can’t sit long on either of those.

So, based on the financial folks at the cancer center, I picked one, and promptly forgot about it; because I’m already in the system there (the receptionists and pharmacy staff recognize me on sight)(which is comforting, until you realize it’s a cancer center, and then the panic briefly cuts in until you remember you’ve gone eight months without regowth or metastastis). I only remembered it when I got a call from the medicaid HMO telling me I should schedule an appointment with one of their physicians. This isn’t a big deal, I just need them to sign-off on any further black magic-based treatments with the Warlocks or Radiation Oncologist.

Now, before I go further, let’s talk about the people who go into medicine. Like anything in healthcare, we tend to give assume that an entire industry is moral, and just; when people go in for a variety reasons (as recently as 20 years ago, the vast majority of medical students said it was for money), and it’s worth noting that cuts across a vast majority of demographics and motives. And, for better or worse, that cuts across vast swathes of competence - for far too many folks, it’s a job - a rewarding job, but just a job. My father recently inquired about board exams and recertification as a way of guaranteeing some basic level of competence from everyone. He’s right, but the key word there is “basic.” Again, “basic” is fine for first aid and most major medical issues; it’s unacceptable if you have a disease with a 90% fiver-year mortality rate.

I bring this up because I think I chronicled my first appointment with my insurance-appointed GP five or six weeks ago and seemed perfectly satisfactory to my ongoing addiction to experimental chemotherapy. I’m certain it was within that time frame, because I had schedule a six-week follow-up. Which, sadly lands on my “week off” chemo. So, yesterday, after infusion #2 for this cycle (for those of you wondering what I’m doing to stay busy during infusions these days, well, rewriting Christmas carols for cancer patients)(”On the first day of chemo, the nurses gave to me, zofran in an IV”). I also convinced dear old Dad to take me out to lunch, because, again, when the Marizomib side effects hit, you do not fee like eating. This was in the neighborhood of the latest addition to my collection of medical people, so I thought I’d reschedule then. And was told by the receptionist to wait for everyone behind me to check in lest they be late for appointments. That would be fine, but it seems a fundamental misunderstanding of how queus work. And, any time post five-ish hours on infusion day, even though zofran might keep me from puking, it does give me an odd, oily, queasy sensation. I think I deserve some sort of gold star for not puking on this woman right away (again, if you have unconventional problems, feel free to start with an unconventional approach)(my next writing project will be titled, “Life Lessons from Necromancers”). I eventually - using the traditional method of looking down the reception counter, noticed someone not otherwise occupied, and manage to get an appointment more amenable to my schedule. For a physical.

Again, I’d love to use some four-letter words here, but even Finnish fails to meet the requirement. Now, it should be noted that, even though I’m well-aware that I’m physically Adonis-like; I am in chemo and recovering from radiation treatment, Radiation Oncologist implied a few months ago that, even though my scan was clean and looked good for someone with brain cancer, anyone unfamiliar with my case would probably freak out about them. Same thing with my abnormal, uh, “lab sample” I wrote about recently - the nurses agreed, a single abnormal test is hardly unexpected toward the end of chemo, especially since I’m now on a diet consisting mostly of protein, fiber, cafeine, and dangerous, experimental substances. However, I’d prefer not to have to point all that out to a new medical person who has the power to yank the plug on me (sadly, my original GP will be on vacation that week. (I’ll also be on Temodar, so there’s a solid chance my brains will be thoroughly scrambled and incapable of comprehension).

ANYWAY… WEIGHT: 198 lb CONCENTRATION: Pretty good, APPETITE: Normal (but this is 24 hours post-infusion. ACTIVITY LEVEL: Not great; the fatigue side effect definitely caught up with me and chewed me up last night. SLEEP QUALITY: Okay. although I’ve noticed that I definitely thrash around on chemo days. COORDINATION/DEXTERITY: Lousy. Thank Gods I don’t need the walker, and I don’t even think I need my magic ankle support, but my left leg is definitely unreliable today. MEMORY: Not bad, although I did forget my sheets were in the wash earlier today (although I recall stripping the bed and tossing them into the washer). PHYSICAL: Tired and kind of wobbly, but still a lot better than this time a year ago.. EMOTIONAL: Okay. It might just be that I spent yesterday next to my zofran-and-CDB salt-lick, but I’m starting to think I might make it through all this somewhat intact. Hang on. Am I really starting to believe my own bullshit? SIDE EFFECTS: Tired, somewhat sore (either chemo or increasing the difficulty of that stupid elliptical), and in the wrong time-zone, but, other than that, not much.  CURRENTLY READING (For Donna): Gonzo Girl, and The Explorer’s Guild (A Passage to Tshamballah)