#because 20 years ago their commercials really annoyed the shit outta me

[mycomori]

me age 13: *reading percy jackson* i kinda feel like i might be a child of hades but apparently they all have “holding grudges” as their fatal flaw and i just don’t relate to that :)

also me: *7 years old and annoyed that a sketchers sneaker commercial has interrupted my precious chance to watch avatar the last air bender* i swear to the god i will never give this company my money

[empireofsamoa]

Matter of Respect. (3/12/2018)

When the clock struck 8PM Eastern (7 Central), the anticipation rose to a high degree within Roman. He was anxious for this night, to the point that he was pacing around wherever he was, unable to catch a moment of calm because he knew he had a storm coming his way in the near-300 pound Heyman-led beast. It had been the moment the company was building up for the past three weeks following his win at Elimination Chamber but the past two times, Roman didn’t get his wish of having a one-on-one faceoff with the Universal Champion. Be it Brock and Heyman flatly not showing up or him in the ring with just Heyman, the one person he wanted to be face-to-face with just hadn’t been around for that. However, this week, he took Heyman’s word that Brock was going to be there, finally.

Finally, after all the incendiary talk fired the champion’s way by The Guy, Brock was going to do something about it and put his two feet in the ring. At least that’s what everyone had assumed heading into Raw on Monday. More importantly, that’s what Roman was anticipating given his threat of violence against the Universal Champion should they come within arm’s length of one another. It was all he could think about over the last week; all he could talk about to and with others and it was finally here...except it wasn’t.

He felt during the day that something had been off. Something wasn’t right. Whenever he’d ask if Heyman and Brock showed up, he wasn’t getting a straight answer. It was typically an “I don’t know” or “let me check with the parking guy”. No clue what the whereabouts of the champion and his advocate were heading into showtime. And even as he stood in Gorilla, stoically cracking his knuckles, he only got a non-committal answer from Vince and Shane as they sat in their chairs and watched Kurt Angle march out to the ring, accompanied by trumpets, horns, and a customary “You Suck!” chant that’s more endearing than derogatory.

“I wanna take us to the Universal Championship match: Brock Lesnar versus Roman Reigns, which will be a match for the ages. But as far as tonight is concerned, unfortunately, I was just told that Brock Lesnar would not make it here tonight. I was told he might’ve had transportation issues or he just wasn’t feeling well or just decided not to show. But regardless, we’re gonna have a great show tonight!”

In no time flat, his blood began to boil.

Whether it was a trait he was blessed with or cultivated over time, Roman never let his anger show that much on the outside unless pushed. Unless he was made to look like a fool. Unless he was blatantly disrespected. And he stood behind the curtain, eyeballing the screen, jaw clenched, both fists balled up tight before he just acted on impulse and motioned that he was heading to the ring. He didn’t know what he was going to do, just that he was going to do something and not let this disrespect go on any further.

And so he was in the ring, railing against Brock for his lack of respect toward the fans, the men and women backstage and the Universal Championship that had become abundantly clear over the last 330-something days. But then he turned his ire toward the chairman of the board, knowing in the back of his mind that there was no going back once he decided to verbally assail the patriarch of World Wrestling Entertainment. Which is why he continued to push and push once he got behind the curtain and in the face of the 70-something year old billionaire, routinely shoving Shane out of the way. His beef wasn’t with Shane, so much so that he barely registered as a blip on his radar.

“Let’s go talk about it. Let’s go talk about it in my office.”

That was all Vince said as he hurried his production staff to cut to commercial break to avoid any other calamities that could potentially occur if this impromptu summit were to be shown live on television. Either he didn’t want dirty laundry exposed for 3 million people to see, or he didn’t want another Wrestling With Shadows moment to occur some 21 years later.

“What the hell was that out there? Huh? Trying to make an ass outta me? The company?”

Once the door to Vince McMahon’s office had closed, neither man took a seat. The tension was already on high the moment they stepped inside, both men proud and combative, bordering on being confrontational in a situation that calls for cooler heads to prevail. And given they had boxed out just about every other person that could’ve been inside with them (road agents, producers, Delilah and Shane), this wasn’t looking like it would be the case.

“I’m tryin’ to figure out why Brock’s wasting my time and disrespectin’ me. That’s what the hell is happenin’, Vince.”

“Brock isn’t disrespecting you; he’s--” It was at this point that Vince was cut off by Roman immediately getting into the older man’s face, a mask of defiance and righteous indignation forming over the younger Samoan’s face.

“--Bullshit. Three weeks in a row, the son-of-a-bitch doesn’t show up; how do you think I’m supposed to take it other than as disrespect? How do you think I’m gonna take Heyman lyin’ to my face last week as anything other than disrespect? Is this what it’s gonna be til Mania? Is that how it is?”

It was a sticking point for him. He had to know what was going on and no one could really blame him. This was one of the biggest matches of his career and it was looking like his opponent was showing off that he largely did not give a shit about it. Something many people could empathize with Roman on, blatant lack of respect and care when it came to the biggest event of the year and it grated him immensely.

“Now, look; you need to calm down, damn it. I can assure you that this isn’t how it’s going to be, and quite frankly, there are better ways to handle your disappointment rather than going to the ring and airing your grievances. That can’t keep happening, and you know that.”

“Hah…”

It was a laugh that was one void of humor. The kind born from being so angry, so upset that you have no choice but to have some sort of reaction that wasn’t blowing up like an overworked smokestack. His reaction caught the elder McMahon off guard, not expecting it to happen.

“Why...why should I listen to you when you weren’t even man enough to tell me what the deal was in the first place? I had to find out like everybody else that Brock wasn’t here. Couldn’t give me a heads up or nothin’? What else are you hidin’ from me, Vince?”

“Now, listen here…”

“Unless you tell me why you’re coverin’ for Brock like you’re his little bitch, there’s nothin’ for me to listen to.”

And in typical Mr. McMahon fashion, his eyes went buggy as he stared at the challenger for the Universal Championship. Even in his old age, he thought that if this was 20 years ago, he would’ve swung on Reigns for his fiery candor. And maybe he still would’ve today if he didn’t have the foresight to see that this would’ve been the worst move to make given the younger man’s current disposition.

“Now, look here, pal,” McMahon extended his index finger into the face of Roman, “I don’t take that kinda talk from my own family, much less someone employed by me, you got that?! I don’t know what’s gotten into you but you need to cut the shit out and calm down. WrestleMania is four weeks away, Goddamn it, and I can’t have you flying off the handle because you didn’t get what you wanted. Bad enough I have Cena throwing a hissyfit because he didn’t get his ‘dream’ match.”

With his jaw clenched tight, Roman rolled his eyes at what McMahon said, this currently lecture annoying him more and more as the seconds ticked away.

“And since you want to get outta line and make an ass outta management, I’m going to have to take action. What’s that idiom your cousin always use to say? ‘Know your role and shut your mouth’? Well, you’re gonna have to do just that because effective immediately, I’m temporarily suspending you.”

“For what?! Tellin’ the truth?”

“For conduct detrimental to the company.”

Roman let out a breath that sounded more like a deep growl as he balled his fist up tightly upon hearing this news. If he didn’t want to further escalate the issue, he would’ve cold clocked the old man right where he stood. Would’ve offered him some much needed catharsis but would’ve also caused more problems than they were worth so naturally, he decided against it.

“Now...go get your things, go home and clear your damn head. We’ll call you when your suspension is lifted.”

Not bothering to share any eye contact with the man, Roman turned and swiped his hand at a cup of pens that were at the end of the desk as he walked toward the door of the office, sending them down in a messy clatter. Grabbing the doorknob, he pulled the door open and immediately began heading out, seeing Renee out the corner of his eye with the microphone extended but rather than staying, he just walked off without a word. It was better that he didn’t; he didn’t even hear a word she said and it would’ve been even more disastrous if he unloaded on her when she was merely doing her job as a journalist.

Still, he was brooding. If it were three years ago, he would’ve done something more impulsive as a means of letting out his anger. Something more irrational but he didn’t. Instead, he just took his lumps and thought on what he needed to do in terms of a plan because he needed one once this suspension was over. But for now? He was just going to have to deal with and accept the lack of respect from the champion, his advocate...and apparently, his boss, too.

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x12 MATTRESS

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x12 MATTRESS Yearbook pictures. Ruh roh. I remember this ep. It ended sad for me. :(

Ken thinks he’s gonna drop 20 pounds in less than a week. Oh boy.

Remember that time Ken totes planned his and Emma’s wedding the same time as Sectionals so she couldn’t go, then pretended he didn’t, then Emma stood up for him when Will caught on? That was fun…douche Ken.

“Got myself a bit of an eyelift. And while they were in there I told em’ go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn’t usin’ em’.”

Is Sue right – do yams really draw the water out of the skin? Hmm…yam diet, eh?

“We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face” Not yet, Kurt. But apparently you ALL will. Still double-checking that. Rachel, Finn, Quinn, Puck, Kurt, Mr. Schue.

“What’s a patriotic wedgie?” “It’s when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies.” “Strangely it did make me feel more American.”

It is TERRIFYING, the fates of these kids in previous glee yearbook photos whose pictures were defaced. OMG.

“He barks at my mom.”

Alright. I gotta say it. It is totally not right or legal I’m sure for Figgins to ask for Glee to pay for their own photo. He’s saying that’s what a full page ad costs…but the school doesn’t pay a thousand dollars for each club’s picture. Shenanigans.

Okay. So I’m watching this post-Props/Nationals. And I’m pissed. Rachel just came storming into Figgins’ office to petition for a Glee yearbook photo. She says “As you may know, this is my first year in Glee Club” – THE FUCK?!?! So she wasn’t in Glee her freshman year?!?! So she started the same time as Tina, Artie, Kurt, and Mercedes?!?! So we DIDN’T miss a year of her ‘earning it’ more than anyone else around her? THE FUCK, Glee?! THE FUCK, I ASK YOU!

Hey, remember that time that Rachel joined every club possible? Hey, remember how 2 seasons later she’ll say she doesn’t have extracurriculars for her NYADA audition application? Hey, remember how in Props she says she’s involved in 6 clubs? WTF? #oops

Quinn wants her kids to look back on her yearbook pics and be proud. “Not the bastard one I’m carrying now…” Ha!

Quinn is gonna get in that yearbook photo for the Cheerios and back on that squad whether Sue Sylvester likes it or not. Quinn is braver than I’ll ever be.

Terri is so supportive. She just told Will to wear the tie for the Glee Club photo that’ll go best with the cool kids defacing of it.

“Oh great. Why don’t you take the food out of the refrigerator and give that to the kids?” hahaha. Overdramatic and exaggerating, but still funny.

Will is going behind Terri’s back to pay for the photo. Yup. That’s a strooooong marriage they got there…

Ok. Rachel just said if she is in one more club she would officially be the most involved student in the school. Yet she HAS to run for Senior Class President because she has nothing for her NYADA application and she is convinced she won’t get Maria…and even after she GETS Maria, she still doesn’t drop even though her ‘friend’ Kurt really needs it and really wants to be prez to make a difference while in the position. She is awful. They turned her into an AWFUL human being. That we’re no longer supposed to laugh at, but admire. And honestly so far in the series, she’s not so bad. So…lemme see if I can pinpoint in my rewatching when the decline of her character started…

The look Kurt has when he just gets up and walks away from Rachel’s GayLesbAl suggestion. Hi. Lar.I. Ous.

And Mercedes is chillin’ with Matt and Mike. I’m tellin’ ya, I thought she was like, a popular girl!

“I nominate Rachel.” “Second.” Kurtcedes love.

…two things: 1. I think Will uses Emma’s counseling services more than any student. Or all of them combined. 2. He does know she’s not a psychologist, right?

haha. Emma and Will are acknowledging how annoying Rachel is. It’s cruel, but..yes. Teachers do that.

As captain of the Glee Club, did Rachel (or Finn) ever have to do more than have the responsibility of this first yearbook photo? I know at times Finn tries to take on a leadership role but…it’s such a useless position.

:) Aw.Rachel went to Mercedes first to be co-captain. I like that. Maybe it’s cause I’m thinking of TroubleTones and how well and fairly she led them.

“Because I don’t wanna be in a picture with you, it’ll get defaced.” “No it won’t.” “Yes it will, I’ll be the one doing it.”

Rachel is saying that the football players and cheerleaders are only in Glee because of Finn. Hmmm….well, Quinn kinda but more cause of Rachel trying to steal him. We don’t know exactly why the football players joined but it was after they won that game and danced with Kurt and Mr. Schue…and wasn’t it Finn that didn’t choose Glee over football when all the rest of them did? Did I imagine that? No? Just checking.

Haha. Smile. I like this song. I had a friend who hated Glee because everyone loved it. He’s one of those “If everyone loves it it can’t possibly be because it’s good, it’s cause it’s a stupid fad” people – you know the type. He was into this girl and I knew she liked the show so I liked to tease him about how he probably watched it with her. I think he said this song was the first time he saw any of the show and he was confused. I remember I was like “oh, you saw like, the first time they did a song that made no sense in the moment at all. Like, it wasn’t used to further the story, it was out of context except the title of it and it wasn’t supposed to be a performance either. They never do that though. Watch it again.”. Wow. Thinking back on that now…this was the first moment that happened. And it ended up happening SO many more times.  Just…wow. Historic moment right there.

And still, this song is such an odd choice for learning to pose for a yearbook photo. It could’ve been cut completely. Why wasn’t it? It didn’t even bother to further the Finchel storyline either. It was cute and fun and I like the song and I’m glad they did it so I have it on my ipod for workouts, lol, but…unnecessary.

It annoys the crap outta me when they act like they’re sightreading sheet music on this show. No. You are not. And you do an awful job pretending like you are. Just stop.

Ooh, Brad’s getting his jam on, lol.

hahaha. Karofsky just asked how to spell loser. Really? Also, is he officially a football guy now instead of a hockey guy? Ok. Sure. Why not.

I always wonder how people act to a pre-recorded voice-over of inner monologue when there’s more than just “I’m sad” happening with their sub-text. How do they sync that up to the acting journey so well like in this moment that Rachel’s giving her self a pep talk in the mirror? It’s like magic to me, lol.

“I can cry on demand. It’s one of my many talents.”

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I’ll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” It’s funny cause I saw Lea Michele topless in Spring Awakening prior to this.

Finn bitches about Glee bringing down his reputation, take three.

“Do you think I have a potato head?”

haha, I do love love love how Rachel shames Finn during this scene. Every time she says his name it’s like a bitch slap for bailing on the yearbook photo.

they’re reeeeeeal excited about selling mattresses. Wanky.

Oh, this brilliant brilliant script for the mattress commercial:                *sigh* “Ah me”                “What’s wrong?”                “We just lost our jobs. At the factory. And we can’t get a good night’s                   sleep” (emphasis on ‘night’s’)

“We should perform.” “Perform the lines…as I wrote them.” I wonder if that was a shoutout/threat to this cast from RIB. Or how many times they’ve heard that if they ever bring up continuity etc. Just me?

Oh Jump. Ok. Let’s talk about this. Super fun number. Great vocals. Also the first time I realized AmberRiley is the shit. Except it took a couple people to make me realize it wasn’t just cause I love listening to her, it’s cause she’s a one of a kind, super rare talent. My one friend pointed out the actual notes she’s belting like it’s a fuckin’ hiccup. ‘Ain’t no thang. I’m Amber fuckin’ Riley. What? Can’t everybody belt that?’ That’s what I imagine she thinks when she pulls off shit like this. Also, one of my students ALWAYS requested this for warm-ups because “she’s so fucking amazing”. And despite the profanity, I was so proud of him for realizing that, even though he was a 16 year old popular-ish boy and she wasn’t the cheerleader or super popular hot chick on the show. And watching my students reacting to her in this and praising her. All of that combined made me go “how did I miss this? Normal people can’t sing that way.”

Will just found the pregnancy pad. Oh shit. Shit’s about to get real. Terri did tell a very convincing lie, without batting an eyelash about how it was just so she could try on clothes for the coming months. That says a lot.

This scene is good. To the point it makes me uncomfortable.

“This marriage works because you don’t feel good about yourself!”

“Quinn Fabray”. Ugh. I can’t even imagine being Will in that moment. How deceived and betrayed he must feel. Man. I’m uncomfortable watching this.

It drives me nuts when people bring up promises made under false pretenses. Terri brings up now how Will promised to remember how happy they were and that they loved each other…at the fake ultrasound. Yeah. Your lie negates the promise, idiot. Rachel does something similar in regards to “you said you’d never break up with me” to Finn in season 2 after she cheats with Puck. People are fools.

Seriously though, how does Will not even question those mattresses and just bust one out. And couldn’t he have slept on it without taking it out of the plastic? High maintenance much? ;) Honestly though, if I found a stack of MATTRESSES delivered to my drama club kids saying “thanks for all your hard work”..I’d raise a fuckin’ eyebrow and question what they’d done to earn that. It’s sort of suggestive, is it not? Or do I just have a dirty mind?

haha. Something I’ve always loved about this moment when Sue overhears the mattress commercial at the tv studio is that moment where she thinks she just hears Rachel Berry near. Her reaction, and me always thinking “what would I do if I thought I heard Rachel Berry outside of the one place I’m forced to have to” always makes me laugh.

“oooohhhh, I got nuttin’ to say to you, preggo.”

They’re disqualified from Sectionals!!?? Oh no! Lol. This was before I knew what RIB was capable of. When I thought they’d go the honorable, legit route with this show. I was wracking my brain to figure out how they’d get out of this one. Oh how wrong I was.

“And what if I were to innocently murder you, William?”

“I’m sorry, but Glee club is over.” “It’s. OVER!” Dun dun dun!

“It’s like looking at a porno star in a nun’s habit.” re: pregnant Quinn in her Cheerios uniform. Amazing. 

Season tickets to Cedar Point!! Yay for accuracy, Glee!

Listen. Quinn has a lot of rage. She’s talking to Sue like she’d talk to Rachel or some other underclassmen ‘loser’.

Quinn just quit Cheerios sorta to be in Glee club instead. We’ll find out, but my memory is that she’ll start wishing she was back on that squad and complaining about it real soon. No?

Okay. HOW is Will disqualified for being paid for what he does…when he gets PAID to RUN the Glee Club? Makes noooo sense. He should be fine.

Charlie Chaplin Smile. Such a sad song. This montage is so good though. It’s one of those times Glee kinda moved me. I got choked up. And my heart dropped to see people defacing this photo when they’d all taken a step forward and were so proud. This is hard to watch right now with Glee Graduation mere days ahead. :(

Also, I miiiight still listen to this song when I’m having a hard day to try to turn it around. Good song.

Aw, Karofsky figured out how to spell loser. Good for him.

Okay, so I’m pausing this to take a look at the comic brilliance of these cool kids defacing the picture. They gave Santana a pitchfork. No shit, Sherlock. They’ll all call her Satan in Glee soon enough. They gave Kirt a skirt and boobs. Cause he’s gay. Brilliant. :/ They gave Finn buck teeth. Matt got a fro (RACIST!). Puck got devil horns. Mercedes got…a cigar? No, giant buck teeth and…a lollipop? They drew a happy face on Tina (? The fuck?). Nothing to Mike Chang or Britany. Artie got devil horns and a mustache. Rachel got a pitchfork. Quinn got..a giant Rabbi beard? They crossed out Rachel’s face and wrote ‘lame’ with an arrow pointing to her. This is the most UNcreative defacing ever. I’m disappointed. Be better bullies! Or funnier ones at least! SOLOS: Rachel (3), Finn (3), Mercedes (1) MERCEDES TAKES THE GLORY NOTE: 3rd time