#bec thats what im doing rn

[eta--piscium]

Sigh

[seiwas]

shouto dresses like this in the assistant!reader au because he is a man dressed BY women FOR women (aka you’ve helped curate his style over the years 🥺)

[formulawonu]

hello !! i like your writing sooo much <3 may i request how seventeen would be when they have a crush on you? tyvm ^____^

seventeen & crushes

a/n: hi!!! thank u so much for ur kind words!! im back i missed u tumblr world. i miss svt so much. sorry this was a lil too long :”) alexa play crush by seventeen rn

seungcheol: plsss HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY MELT EVERY. TIME. SOMETHING CUTE HAPPENS BETWEEN U BOTH 😭 and his crush would be seen in the tiniest of details. like if cheol knew he was going to see u or ~potentially~ bump into u he would make sure to wear more of his cologne that u once said smelled really good. he wouldnt tell anyone but he would spend a lil longer getting ready to make sure he looked good if he sees u. practices what he could talk to u about. but in front of u he would be so nonchalant 🥱 fml it’d be like “oh? y/n ur here?” HE KNEW U WERE COMING THATS WHY HE CAME GET OUT CHEOL

jeonghan: no bec hannie would be so cute :/ like he’d affectionately annoy u throughout the day because he just loves having u part of his day. he just loves talking to u. specifically you. it makes him happy and giddy. and he doesn’t think much of it until someone else (read as: shua and seungkwan) brings it up dshjfdf “so jeonghan ur lil crush on y/n is cute” “what ?” then he proceeds to think abt it and its a lightbulb moment and then he gets kinda cute and shy around u and ur like “jeonghan whats wrong with you u havent said anything weird these past few days its getting weird” he just starts giggling around u shut up 😭 then masks it by saying smth like “so you DO like it when i annoy u 😏 my masterplan is working” ok gaslighter

joshua: SWEETEST. GUY. EVER. like i think shua is the type to regularly check on you throughout the day or leave u good morning texts idek 😭 like he’d say he hopes u have a good day and then lets u know he’s free to talk at night if u wanna talk abt how ur day went haha just in case haha but its no biggie if you cant haha (he’s really overthinking this is he being too pushy????) and i think he’d realize pretty quickly he has a crush on you when he notices he likes being near u when u guys are in the same place and he’d be like huh this is happening! but who wouldn’t like them! would continue being the sweet guy he is and hopes for the best 🤞

junhui: noooooo my sweet junhui 😭 he would really remember every single thing you tell him. you have a test on this day? he’s wishing you good luck first thing in the morning or buying you breakfast/coffee before it because u can’t take a test on an empty stomach! you have a job interview or an event? he’s helping you get ready for it and practicing whatever could happen to help you prepare. u like this specific snack and he’s going to be seeing u soon? takes a pic of it to send to u then buys it so he can give it to u. he’s such a selfless and caring guy by nature and all he wants is to be there for you in any way he can. IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY LIKE we all see how caring he is towards the other members can u imagine being on the receiving end of his affection

hoshi: this could really go two ways honestly lmfao he is either EXTREMELY distant from u because he thinks anything else would make his crush on u waaaay too obvious and he needs to be the cool guy!!!!! and he can’t do that if he cant get his damn heart to calm down every single time ur around!!!! or he could literally be everywhere u are 🤣 its like fuck the cool guy look i like her what can i do ??? like u show up to a party and suddenly ur like omg soonyoung ur here. “yea u said u were going so here i am!” or u tell him ur alone studying at a cafe and he shows up bec he “didnt want u to be lonely” 😭 honestly he has the best intentions he just wants to be there for u bec it makes him happy and hopefully it makes u too :””) grrrrrr

wonwoo: this one kills me because he’d REALLY REALLY try 😭😭😭 and i don’t mean this in a tries to be someone they are not kind of thing but he’d make so much effort to connect with u ://// like whenever he sees u he’d find ways to talk to you even if it’s the awkward “hey how are you” “i’m doing good! how are you” “i’m doing good too (◠﹏◠)” then hes internally panicking scrambling running around his head trying to think of what else he can say so the conversation doesn’t end and he ends up talking/asking about the randomest shit like so do you come here often NO WONU Y/N DOESNT THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE PARTY YOU KNOW THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE my god he’s so precious please take care of him please take care of his heart please love me back wonu *cue seungkwan imitating his laugh*

woozi: i almost teared up thinking about jihoon having a crush on u. my god like on the outside he’d be nearly the same he always is but those that know abt it see that his gaze flits ever so often to where you are when you’re around. just to make sure you’re okay. just to make sure you’re having a good time. just to see u smile bec that alone makes his day :/ PLZZZZ and every time u talk to him his heart flutters a lil quicker his smile is a lil bigger and the crinkles by his eyes come out a lil more. if ur someone close to him and u visit him in his studio regularly but u somehow stop visiting bc ur getting a lil busier these days he’d shoot u a quick text and be like why havent u been annoying me in the studio recently (thats code for: i miss you. i wanna see you. is everything all good with you?) KMN!!!!!

minghao: i think he’d be very honest w himself about it. like it’s just a crush it happens. these are minghao’s present feelings and he accepts them as they come ! my mature guy. he doesn’t try to force anything because he wants everything to just happen naturally!!!! ofc he makes it a point to say hello to you first whenever you come around and he makes sure to send u the name of that book he told u about and he could come with you to go get a copy if you’d like :”) ofc he thinks about u and how ur doing more often than he realizes. he just… he just loves the feeling of having a crush on you. it’s so exciting and new and the premise of being able to get to know you more and the potential things you guys could bond over is something so splendid so personal so special to him plz crush him back

mingyu: I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MINGYU WILL NEVER HAVE A CRUSH ON ME but he would be so silly so cute so overwhelmingly charming everytime u are around. we know how clumsy the guy is but he’s stumbling over his words cracking the lamest jokes to make u laugh casually putting his arm around you when you guys are walking to protect u (hes freaking out should he have done that????) LIKEEEEE HE’D BE SO CUTE IDK IF U SEE THE VISION BUT I SEE THE VISION 😭 but he’d also be so freaking cool that u would never even THINK that he has a crush on you. because he’s just that endearing. he’s offering to bring you places because he’ll be in the area (he’s actually coming from his place) he’s hugging you a lil longer goodbye he’s calling you at night just to hear your voice he’s sending you pics of himself to update u on what he’s doing he’s so dhkjdsfghskjgf just one chance mingyu

seokmin: byeeeeee this man is the opposite of discreet hdfgksjfhdg but its the cutest thing ever 😭 the moment he realizes he has a crush on u he suddenly gets all shy around you always just smiling at you finding ways to be closer to you like maybe sitting across you when ur out eating with friends because it’s not too close but not too far and he could still talk to you and see you :/ he’s blushing every time u compliment him on something idek he’d just be so cute and flustered all the time ahshadajdh fr after he makes a joke and you’re like “seokmin ur so funny” he’d be like “REALLY 🥹” proceeds to make the same joke in variations just to make u laugh more and bec he knows u find it funny so it’s fool-proof!!!!! he’s making u laugh it’s music to his ears!!!! but would 9/10 panic if he was ever left alone with u and he isn’t that close to you so all he does is smile at u until u ask him smth and he can breathe a lil more and relax into the convo

seungkwan: awww seungkwan would be so comfortable around u. so caring. he’d look after you and remind u every day to take ur vitamins! don’t forget to feed ur pet! make sure to leave by this time so u aren’t late! but he’d also treat you like his best friend. like i think he realizes he has a crush on u while u guys are bickering over smth so stupid and he’s like wow i don’t think i would ever want to bicker abt something this stupid with anyone else :”””) hahahakillmenowhahahaha and he’d always be attached to ur hip when u guys are out like he’s just always looking out for you and is so carefree whenever ur there so it’s such a refreshing feeling for him to have someone like that in his life pls care for him back ;/ pls look out for him too bec thats the only thing he wants to do for you!!!!

vernon: mans is absolutely SHOCKED. FLOORED. like?????? he didn’t know he had time to have a crush?????? when did this happen?????? but then after thinking abt it for a while he’s like hm yea that does check out 🤣 tbh i think he doesn’t change how he is with you at all. it’s a crush he’s not in grade school anymore ! but alas it manifests itself in his life in different ways. suddenly he has to make sure you taste this amazing dish he had. he has to make sure u check out this dope song he found. have you even watched the world’s funniest movie (to him)??? there’s so much of the important and special things in his life he suddenly wants to share with you and he just cares so much about what you think and your opinion of things bec you’re so cool and he’s so curious about who you are and boom there you go mr chwe you DO have a crush so what!

dino: djhfgmhdgmf CAN LEE CHAN CUT IT OUT HE ISN’T GETTING MARRIED HE ISN’T IN LOVE ITS JUST A CRUSH GET UP!!!!!! this guy is literally overthinking everything. what should he do now ? does he confess ? are they the one ? 😭😭😭 slow down sailor u are simply fond of the person -__- he’s deep in thought and u have a member asking him whats wrong why is he so stressed and hes just like i just ruined everything my life is over i like y/n . BYE that shit spreads so fast whoever asked him is informing the gc and suddenly everyone is involved everyone is teasing him and he can’t do anything abt it because THEY ARE RIGHT HE’S A SUCKER FOR YOU 😭 would actually message u abt it and be like ahahaha hi how’s it going how’s your day been wanna hang out tomorrow miss you fml but he’s cute he’s boyfriend-coded just a lil lost at times but he means well 🤣

[astraydestiny]

HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPP THE HEADCANNONS ARE TAKING SO LONG. MAN IM FINALLY DOEN WITH LUNYA’S PART (i’m one third the way done) I THINK I HAVE LIKE 1,500 WORDS RN. IDK IT LOOKS LIKE IT… LOOK ITS EASIER TO GET THAT AMT IF UR WRITING A STORY.

I UNDERESTIMATED HOW HARD HEADCANNONS ARE TO WRITE… but at the same time I just feel like I’m yapping a whole lot abt them, bec it is pretty descriptive!

BUT YEAH! Lets see how fast i finish codys!!!

@justyoureverydaytwstsimp HAPPPYPPYPYPYPPY NEEWWWWW YEARRRRRR BTW. OMG HOWS THE NEW YEAR FARING FOR U?????????

Look if ima be honest with u… I HAVEN’T WRITTEN AT ALL LAST MONTH. BUT ITS OKAY, I USUALLY WRITE A WHOLE LOT FOR ONE MONTH, TAKE A BREAK THE NEXT ONE, THEN RESUME THAT SUBSEQUENT ONE.

BUT OMG HAVE U SEEN JACK, JADE, AND MALLEUS’ NEW YEAR OUTFITS??!?!!?!?!?!? THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😍😍

LIKE BRUH

Omg i also got this apple keyboard thing i can connect to mny phone and thats what I’m using to type thing and it’s pretty nice. But the thing is, the keys are really small and not thick at all, so it’s kinda weird. So idk I guess I gotta get used to it???? But i do like it!!! It is making writing easier bec i TOTALLY prefer this over hand typing… like its not even that my fingers r big or anything its just that my hand accidentally clicks random things and its just so weirdddd. BUT YEAH ANYWAY. BRUH. My winter break is over…. And now i HAVE SCHOOL AGAIN. I CAN’T DO THIS. I’m done. NO IM NOT LMAO, NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER GIVE UP!!!! I’m at my final straw with this keyboard… WHEN I WANT CAPS IT DOESN’T CAP. WHEN I DON’T EANT IT TO CAP IT CAPS. RAHHHHHHHH

Also i hope ur doing good!!!! Be careful bc I heard there r a bunch of weirdos on tumblr (there always has but still be careful) and they r sending weird stuff in asks or smth like that, I read it in a blog

OMG I ALSO WATCHED CORY’S NEW UPLOAD ABOUT MOUTHWASHING

Idk if u know Cory Kenshin or mouthwashing, BUT IF U HAVE THE TIME U SHOULD DEFINITELY CHECK HIM OUT!!!! He is SO funny!

Well I’ma get back to the headcannons CYA LATER!!!! BYEYEYEYEYYEYE:)

[angxlbaby3]

Hello everyone i lowkey forgot to update this but two pages of my fanfic are out!! the first part is around 2k words! and the second part is around 5k ill try to get more written asap i also have no life so expect lots of updates since im literally obsessed with ted rn lol

Read more for little life update thing??

Its not much intriguing since i have no life literally i cant remember the last time i left my house i think it was Christmas thats sad asf i need some friends 😭 i cant wait to move to florida and live out my 2016 dreams (i was born there yall) anyway besides that i smoked way to much weed (5 grams in like four weeks 🤧) and now i have none do i smoke to much ami gonna die chat?? 😱😱 rn i havent slept since the other day and i was supposed to get stuff done e which i kindaaa did sonce i finished the first and second part of the fic and some art earlier but ive been procrastinating reading for literally no reason??? i love reading so whats up bro everytime i sit down to read and then i also listen to music i cant help but just look at myself an dance and be a cutie SO MAYBE THE MUSIC IS THE PROBLEM?? or maybe i just need some damn sleep lol or both idk anyway i hope yall have a goodnight i probably wont be to bec for a bit but yeah AND I WORE MY GLASSES MOST OF THE DAY AND NOW THAT I HAVE THEM OFF IT FEELS LIKE THEYRE STILL THERE I HATE ITTT AGGHHHHHH

[sunkissed-moon]

I am taking rest thank you love <3 sjsksjsk he's from the us!! But he used to live here in India but he had to go back bec of his dad but he came back recently like last year mid,,, he transferred to my school and we were all like who tf is this kid transferring in the middle of the year,,,, but then only I knew that his parents and mine were friends!!!

And we became friends and i get this feeling everytime and I'm like nopE not happening this time but what can I do,,,, i went and said how i felt and he was like "me too" and boom he became my bf,,, funnily enough i used to go scream to him abt yeonjun and you know how jun's other name is Daniel,,,,, his name is Daniel too sjskj i thought it was v funny

Oh i plan on doing business but let's see where life takes me,,, my dream is to like do uni for 4yrs, work for two and then do an MBA then go travel the world with my bff and then like open a cafe 🤭 finger crossed 🤞 it happens<333

How about you love???

AHH okok thats cute aaaaaaa THE YEONJUN PART LMAO we love to see it

business thats great!! OPEN A CAFE AWW THATS SWEET i want to visit when we're older 🤩🤞🤞🤞

im doing good too!! nothing much going on rn tbh.. waiting for summer break to start so i can come to india <//3

[toyfii]

you’re still valid in your gender or lack of gender even if you look a lot like your agab!! you can be grateful for all that you have and still be upset over gender stuff!! other people’s struggles do not invalidate yours in any way, and vice versa!! it’s tough for nonbinary people, esp those that don’t look androgynous “enough”. sometimes Nothing will be enough. you can’t please everyone, so just try to make yourself happy!!! whether you want to look androgynous or feminine or whatever, what matters is that it makes You happy!! & you have all the time in the world to figure that out!!! it’s also important to remember that people cannot read your mind, so if you don’t tell them abt your gender and pronouns they’ll have no way of knowing, but Definitely try to be sure to tell people who will be safe to tell!! some people can be supportive of afab nonbinary people + not amab nonbinary people, trans people but not nonbinary people, etc etc and unfortunately i think it’s possible to always encounter Someone who isn’t accepting, but try not to let it get to you!!! the people who will accept you are the most important to keep!! friends will come and go, but you will always have you!!

eeek yes yes it will be hrd to be content with being alone bc i really want connections!! like i wish i could be friends witj myself.. ijust thought about that now when reading your messages heheh.. just thinking about wht i could do if there were 2 of me that met by chance and became besties i think you have opened my third eye /hj

omg more venting below, im sorry!!!

ig thats a struggle a llt of us silly people have, is trying to feel validated intrinsically (you validate yourself instead of others validating you) and its esp hard bc we're so different from "normal" expectations.. T-T i honestly feel extra disappointed bec im like.. self aware of a lot of this stuff, but i still cant love myself!! but ig i should have talked about my living situation to you, too, which cant be changed rn- bec my fam thinks of me as the smart and talented brother they can show off to their friends and other family.. sooooo yeah its also hard balancing that expectation.

tbh when i got a new sister whos only a little youngerthan me i had hope that maybe she would be understanding of everything but unfortunately not.. she is very kind, but cultural differences and stuff exist + theres a language barrier bc she can barely speak english and i can barely speak her native language- so im not even going to try explaining all of this

ig i could try ignoring all these thoughts and start talking to the ppl i like.. its so scary aaa.. but thats the only way anything cN change right?? oh gosh i feel a bit more motivated now.. but then i get a rush of anxiety again omg NOO silly brain ack i hate it here!! hhhhhhh ahem abyways you're so kind, i appreciate you!!! <3

[dxrlinggxd]

pro byler st5 prediction

the first episode of s5 is prolly gonna be a direct continuation (they've already finished filming it). the time jump will happen after that

if byler is gonna happen, and with the theories of el being 999% done with mike, we might get:

a mileven breakup (initiated by el)

mike brings the painting up. el gets confused and thats when mike realises

he doesnt bring it up with will though because he's shocked. i think he's been confused about how he felt for will, because he definitely cared for el (except he didnt actually like el romantically, he just didnt know that). so when he realises will lies, he doesnt know what to do. its a lot for him to process

im guessing will gets vecna'd in the first ep from all the bts we got (will being in his finale outfit with el at the skating rink while el is in her rink o mania outfit & noah posting a pic in the same outfit with a harness captioned harnessed up- slide 4 of the linked post)

vecna shows him mike related visions. im completely sure that one of them is when they both met in kindergarten on the swingset because 1. there's a leak of an old swingset 2. idk how reliable this is but someone said there had been a casting call for a young mike and will

im not sure how the time jump will play out tbh lets just wait and see. i rlly hope we get to actually see the mileven breakup tho (also that byler don't get together in the time jump but lol the odds of that happening are incredibly low)

max's mind has def been captured by vecna bec brenner does say that vecna absorbs the minds and souls of his victims and thats why even tho el revived her (which was such bad writing ew) her mind isn't there

im gonna say that during the time jump, mike and will don't see each other for a while. or maybe they've been in touch for a while idk but hopefully we're going to watch them reunite on screen. apparently it's a 2 year time jump so they're gonna be 16/17 !!!)

im just hoping for a LOT of angst omg i love angst they've got the perfect opportunity

thats all i can think of rn i just rlly hope the duffers don't do the whole thing by themselves bec we know how bad thatd go

[xxc4rt3rxx]

This may just be paranoia from like a lot ofmy formative time in fandom being during the real height and prevalence of cringe culture so I may be totally wrong but I am a little sacred for what the months after the tour are gonna be like. Bec just knowing the life cycle of the internt and that anything that is loved in ernest will eveuantlly be made fun of Idk like not feeling to great about that. Like Im not calling out any blogs at all but I feel like I have begun to notice the beggining of that like loved to cringe life cycle starting rn in the my chem fandom especially on tumblr. So like please all I ask is that we are genuinely just nice to ppl. Like please if you see shitty or harmful behvior please call it out but like person enjoying media in ernest is like the least terrible thing they could do. Again this just might be my “i grew up with all my intrests being in cringe compilations by 30 yr olds” talking but like idk i would rlly perfer to never go back to that. No idea if anything that i am saying is making sense and like truly am not trying to call anyone out. Lots of ppl have super valid issues that they r talking abt and those r important and should be continued to be brought up. But the internt can tend to turn valid criticism into “wow you enjoy this thing and not ironically thats the most embarrassing thing ever you should be ashamed”. lol this was prob just a whole lot of nothing and I dont want to invalidate anyones feelings but it is just somthing I hope is avodided as the north american tour ends and the fandom enevitably dies down a little

[machineryangel]

roma!!!!!!!!! that ask game's so cute gonna do it in a while (i need to think of stuff abt myself i dont know anything 😭) but how have YOU been beloved ?? <3 miss seeing u on the dash LOVE seeing u in my notifs occasionally 💞🌷💓🌻 also all heart shaped food reminds me of u now hehe 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 what songs have u been listening to lately? are u watching anything rn? take care luv u <333

rey what if !!!! what if i was in tears !!!!😭 cannot wait to read stuff abt u beloved <3 u r obv one of my moochies whom i constantly wish i could talk to everyday but life gets in the way so much 😤

honestly i haven't been doing great- having one of those depressive episodes again and i unfortunately have a test coming up (on 26th) which i'll most likely fail, oh also an irl crush on someone who's not interested in me at all :/ lgfmdşskgd which would be his loss except. its not hes literally perfect n i hate him -_- but anyway jhdsgj I MISSED U TOO !!! SM !!!🥺💕 ill try to be here more often after my test on friday- but i've also started taking german courses & will soon start swimming again in our public pool so your girl has kind of a lot on her plate as u can tell :( i'm just counting days until semester break bec ik thats the only time ill be entirely free :')

jgkfjdksjd oughhh is there even a nicer thing to be associated with !! i love u sm thank u !!!! 🥺💞💐 i've recently been listening to if i could fly (which im sure you know <3) put a little love on me, lay your head on me and found ! and the only thing i've watched recently is buzzfeed supernatural season 7 (final season 😭) between my class breaks bec i rly don't have any time :(( but omg wbu!!! how have u been what have u been listening to/reading/watcing??

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[macklives]

session 94 end

so

:)

i want to be as serious as i can about this without screaming my head off so i can actually get some information down, considering these end of sessions serve as my personal notes, so if i look back at them and notice the notes just have a continuous stream of “AAAAAAA FUCK YOU U, U INCEL” i dont think id be amused

BASICALLY!!!!

vriska killed her aradia, but not only did she kill aradia, vriska made her BOYFRIEND kill her. and the boyfriend just so happens to be sollux! which is actually cute, i support it, i ship, but now in the future its going to make me sad whenever they have screen time together agsjgshsh

anyways, he was unaware this happened because he was being controlled by vriska. presumably, she forced him to eat the mind honey. this brings a whole new perspective of the “under no circumstances do you eat the mind honey” i take it. so now aradia is actually dead dead. 

but shes still here!! because shes a ghost! so its alright! 

and the origin??? lol, vriska wanted to actively kill tavros when he pushed him off the cliff rather than just break his legs, which made aradia upset so she created the hauntings. vriska contacted doc about it who advised to kill aradia. yada yada, to shorten it up, vriska and dick scratcher suck ass.

doc scratch is a crusty old dildo who manipulates young children for his master to kill their friends, his master being lord english. and from all of this shit that occurred, there’s a plan apparently?? idk what the plan is. but hes making children kill each other. so idk. maybe hes trying to off them so they dont corrupt his plans. he acts like a cocky bastard however, and has a weird god complex. thats why i made many death note references. 

oh, and theres a lot of cahoots for THIS particular dilemma, (not even all of homestuck this is just for...one part of the story), but ill take a screenshot of one of my posts about it bc i do not feel to type it up rn:

oh not only that! but scratch is a “first guardian” which means hes in charge of the whole planet or some sort of being that REPRESENTS the planet?? in this case alternia. and yeah idk, im rereading that part now bc before i was more angry than anything so i didnt process it completely, and its still sorta confusing. he has a genetic code, the same as every guardian apparently, considering they SHARE the sequence? but that code grants them omnipotence? what?? and “when merged with a host of great intelligence, near omniscience as well” im not sure what this means, if its a random genetic code that gets into a living being which CREATES the first guardian or if its a first guardian that has that code and NEEDS to have a host. 

but if doc scratch has been here since the birth of the planet, what does that make lord english? hmmm, how powerful IS lord english in this case if the fucking “first guardian” is a servant to him. im curious

ummmm also he glows like bec? jades dog? idk if thats just an art choice but the similarities are so uncanny that i had to point it out. makes me wonder. tho.. iirc bec glows bc he eats radioactive food or something,,,, i really forgot, i havent seen the kids since december okay.... but idk, he glows like him so that means he can do the space teleportation schtick as bec does, which is how he probably gets from place to place i presume. idk if its BECAUSE of that very same “genetic code” the first guardians have, making bec a first guardian himself (of earth maybe??) or if its just a coincidence. and knowing homestuck, could be either. tho im guessing we’ll uncover more of that later as it doesnt seem like we’re supposed to know right away and i may be pulling shit out of my ass based on a green strobe light resemblance

also terezi called out vriska to scratch, so im pretty sure hes now going to now kill vriska

well

probably not but dw if you do ill turn around and pretend i saw nothing

and thats it folks!

haha.....

.......

aradia and sollux........ 

...... :(

thats sad gang..it really is

[xllxxrbxg]

so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

[yioh]

Impressions on Relationship Guidelines so far? :0 who do u think will admit fr their feelings first?

bro the sheer amount of tension in this manhwa is making me go insane omfg 😭 like my biggest weakness is undefined relationships idk the idea of not knowing where u stand in regards to another person but doing stuff like holding hands and kissing and kinda being friends but ur heart's crazy thumping is saying otherwise makes me 😳😳😩 so i am Very much enjoying the story alot rn fhskbdje also jiwon takes the crown for complete dumbassery i rly was convinced that she finally realised her feelings for myeongin but no....... and when she told myeongin she wanted to be those kinda friends and myeongin was like -_- i was fucking dying like imagine ur childhood bff comes up to u and flirts w u and kisses u out of the blue and suggests being those kind of friends like does she even know what that means ???? friends with benefits ???? does she think thats just a normal thing for friends to do ????? (just the way she seemed so pleased w herself for arriving at this conclusion kills me 😭) does she know that dating is a possibility too ????? and the way myeongin is just . So freaking weak for her and tries to distance herself bec she cant help but be drawn into jiwons allure oh my god oh my god the contrast of being known as straight faced and robotic and uncaring by others and yet being the most emotionally vunerable one there (screams) jdlsjsksn i personally think that myeongin will be the one finally giving in w all of jiwons (intolerable) flirting and confessing out of just . Panic kfdhdkdn which will make jiwon reconsider what she wants their relationship to be lol im so excited 😎

[tillman]

Pls infodump about lancelot from what i observe almost everyone hates him? (Ok its understandable bec of his affair with queen) im curious why do you like lancelot? And i remember a few days ago you post that there so many things you want to talk about him? And i want to see you rant/gush about his character, relationships, mental illness, his flaws etc ans also what is the difference between fate lancelot and lancelot in the legends? I want to know more about him he is complicated

OK its not that everyone hates him its that people hate what he stands for. the french side of arthurian lit is VERY focused on making lancelot seem like the greatest knight in the entire world because…. wow… hes french. and french people suck. stop normalizing the french. i like lancelot because of what he COULD stand for. theres a lot of things that could be delved into more (his mental illnesses, his communication issues, his inability to comprehend love, the struggle with being unholy or wrong, ect) but no one ever does. so i stole him hes mine now fuck the french they did him dirty.

uhm ok this is under a cut for talks of kinda heavy topics (lots of mental health talk, lots of abuse talk) and also cus its long. sorry i have a lot to say about him) 

i like lancelot a lot cus i see myself a lot in him. mostly in his mental health and how he ends up dealing with situations. his struggle with violent mood swings and his huge burden of being labeled as a sinner or whatever for a relationship he admits to feeling trapped in is…. relateable… comforting to see in a fictional character i guess. as flawed as he is hes still heralded as a good person. hes still loved by his friends and his family. and thats nice.. i like it. 

uhm for his mental health the main thing that comes out is his struggles with trauma, awful depression, and also just the fact he dissociates a lot. in knight of the cart he is so out of it he doesnt realize a knight is attacking him until hes thrown into the water in which he reacts violently and freaks the fuck out, trying to rip the guy off his horse. he like. physically can not handle extreme emotions and will either fall asleep so he doesnt have to face it (le morte says this is a known quality of him, he does this enough dinadan expects it as soon as he gets mad) or he swings so hard he has an extreme bout of depression (in the vulgate when trying to comprehend his relationship with guenevere and galehaut he just shuts down and spends all his time sleeping or staring at the river) or awful mania (see: the many times guenevere freaks out at him and he gets so upset he jumps out a window and lives in the woods). Lancelot has a lot of unworked out trauma from being r*** twice by the same woman who continues to use him and freak him out so much he cant find camelot safe (triggering another huge spike where he runs off into the woods) or the literal entire end of the legends where he has to deal with the trauma of while having one of his dissociative episodes in combat he accidentally kills gareth, someone he loves and adores like a brother or son and gets so upset he just accepts everything happening and hides in joyous gard, where his cousins have to BEG him to go and defend his honor from gawain whos basically knocking on his door pleading with lancelot to kill him. 

lancelots inability to understand a lot of social nuances is also really interesting but like, ultimately leads to a lot of strife for him most namely galehauts death and gueneveres constant abuse. The thing is Lancelot basically idolizes guenevere and this is where a lot of the abuse and weird shit comes from in their relationship. lancelot was a very young knight who honestly didnt understand anything about BEING a knight when he came to court. the queen knighted him and him, being young and not understanding, took this as “i am her knight! i will do anything for her!” and guenevere just kinda ran with this? i dont rlly wanna go too into it ill do that later when i get farther in the vulgate and can talk more on it but it leads to lancelot being trapped in a relationship he admit hurts him, but the small sliver of love guenevere gives him when she needs him is enough to keep him in because his mindset is still “im her knight! this is what a knight should do for his lady!” Galehaut is a different situation where his blindness to social cues and other shit leads to a lot of drama and hellish shit and when he finally snaps and realizes “oh. oh no this is what love should be” its too late and galehaut is dead and lancelot isnt much better. his own mother has to come and convince him not to literally kill himself over this and sends him into a spiral of depression where he doesnt leave the joyous gard for months. when he does and when he comes back to court, no one really … cares? that galehaut is dead. and this is lancelots first experience with actual love and his first experience with the death of someone close to him. which is an awful double whammy to have to experience. he does have good friends like gawain and dinadan and tristan and his relationship with galahad is good but they all end up dead or turned against him by something thats he did and its just. god its so sad to watch. the only people lancelot is left with in the end are his cousins, and even at the end of all of that hes left alone with the corpses of people he thought he loved. 

like hes a very flawed man. lancelot is a problem causer and not a problem solver. he doesnt try to he really doesnt, he strives to be the perfect knight mostly for some sliver of appreciation from someone he idolizes he never really ends up getting. he doesnt know how to cope, and ends up making things worse when he inevitably ends up screwing shit up because of this. hes called a sinner and unholy by god, and while he is very proud of his son for what he ends up achieving, has to deal with the trauma of the grail quest alone. he ends up killing someone he loves, and who genuinely respected and cared for him like a brother in a fit of him not being able to deal with heavy emotions. like he truly is in the wrong in most situations but like. in such a pitiable way. hes a good person, but lets his flaws overtake him a lot and pushes away the people who want the best for him. its like…. sad. 

(about to talk about fate u can drop off now if u just wanted to read my arthurian lit opinions :-) )

i could go off about fate lancelot and all the problems i have with him for hours but i think the main thing i wanna talk about rn is how they handle his internalization of his life and then just did nothing with it. his wish for the grail is just to be told he was wrong. thats so fucking GOOD!! in life he was heralded as the best knight like of course his one regret was that no one ever stopped him and went “you are wrong. this is wrong. you are doing the wrong thing.” and that being all he wants out of the thing that can grant any wishes is soooooo soo cool and neat. and then they just reduced his personality to “oh boo hoo im so sad im going to fuck a married woman now” like. the fucking dissonance. like lancelot isnt the type for random flings. tristan sure i understand that a bit hes unhinged and hard to characterize and .. honestly does just go around fucking married woman. weirdo. but lancelots entire struggle is over his relationship with guenevere being both wrong morally and literally abusive! i jsut dont get it i dont understand how they built up something so interesting with zero and threw it all out the window it makes me so mad. i dont even wanna talk about fate lancelot anymore rn its giving me a headache cus im so mad. 

[lemongogo]

fuck alright lets do this ! btw these are all on ao3. so for shinobu,, first one i read was 'wasps nest' by munks and for mitsuri 'the stories our scars tell' by beecalm, its shinomitsu so that's a plus, actually tbh both those users have so much good kny shit u should check their other stuff, i binged all their works 🙈 pls tell me what u think if u read them, my head is full rn lmao i rlly thought i would do schoolwork

ooohhhnh oohnnh u were not playing around .those HURT AHHHH>.AHH :(( im so sad BUT LIKE >in a good way. the writing on these??? are SO pretty????? the prose?? the way they described the characters thru actions and intention alone ohnh

EXPLDOES

IM >AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im so fcking in love w character explorations and here u are.. providing me w TWO for my two favorite characters. and the shinomitsu on top of all of it IMAMSK AAAAAAAAA it truly is lesbian day of visibility 

but yeah im. my heart aches for both of them. i especially love it when people recognize and utilize shinobus anger (AND WHEN THEY COMPARED IT TO TAMAYOS-WOOOOOOOOO!!!!) like i KNOW i talk about it a lot but i think its bec its such a good character trait and excellent motivator and just. so emotional in a way i love. the way that beecalm’s ‘the stories our scars tell’  said :

“why is she so angry?” Mitsuri hears them ask, because they will never understand.

It’s not her place to do so- but if she could, she would tell them as such:

The world has wronged her many times over- and it deserves what it has coming for it.

I TEARED UP AHAHAHAHAH that was sooo so pretty. and for munks’ ‘wasps nest’ to so accurately and beautifully explore shinobu’s relationship to kanae, kanao, ubuyashiki, tamayo (TAMAYO!!!),,, i.m... and then the part where shes bleeding out in front of d*uma ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh ouch oochichhc ouchch

thats it shinobu & mitsuri ,, im coming up 👆

thank u so much for these recs though  i . am So sorry it took me like 20 yrs to finally read but im glad i did. these r life changing JSJS im definitely gonna have to check out the rest of their work