#beautifuloutkastz

[mmazzeroo]

Chapter 20: JON V - I Believe It's Tradition

@helloimnotawesome - Chapter 20 is finally here! Jon and Dany time *wink wink* 

Quick thanks to @callmedewitt for giving this a quick run-through and to @beautifuloutkasts for editing my late nightly attempt at writing. Love you both to bits!

Without further ado. Enjoy!

JON V - I Believe It’s Tradition

"There's something about wolves." Dany spoke quietly and carefully as she slowly edged closer. He'd sensed her presence long before that. Looming in the doorway. Watching me. Assessing the situation. Something her and Viserys have in common. Her footsteps muted,  quieted. She must've taken off her shoes.

As he'd fled dinner, Loras quickly followed him as he caught up to him by the stairs. Not trusting himself to speak at the time, he'd instead let the Tyrell Captain do the talking. What did he say by the way? Couldn't recall, but he'd seen the look of concern as he'd glared back. All he'd wanted to do was to hit something. Someone! After giving Loras another death glare, he'd continued up the stairs towards  the rooftop. Only refuge he could think of at the time.

Of course Dany had known to find him here. He'd heard her running up the stairs, one by one, only to come to an abrupt halt as she must've seen him. He’d stood  there, ignoring the city’s hustle and bustle, his back turned towards her as he stared into the horizon. He took a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to Dany speaking. Her voice is like a balm for my mind, her presence so soothing.

"Loyal to a fault. Fiercely protective of their pack. Intelligent. Playful. Tendency to be shy but that's because they don't trust strangers easily. Very loving and caring. Slow to anger, but if you manage to provoke them... Woo..." She blew out a breathe. "That bite is vicious. Deep. Precise. Even if you get away you won't get far - they'll always find you."

He cracked an eye open and glanced in her direction. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her still standing at a distance. The little lopsided smile on his lips crept  up on him. Simply by being here she makes me smile.

"I'm ok," he said softly. "You can move closer, I won't bite." Still not able to meet her gaze, he glanced down at his hands as they rested along the railings.

"No, you're not and I know you won't," he could hear the smile in her voice, "but I can observe you better from here." Oh!

"Observe me?" He sighed, "I see." Turning around he slowly, he sat down on the ground leaned his back up against the brick balustrade. "Like one of your wounded animals," he stated quietly. I should be angry by that comparison but maybe she's right. Even now, all I am is an animal. No matter how hard I work to find my place in a 'normal' human world, I'm still just a wild animal fighting for survival....

The feeling of defeat was overwhelming. He found himself wrapping his arms around his legs as he hugged his knees tightly to his chest. Silent tears began to stream and fall down his cheeks as he quickly hid his face in the space between his curled, perched up knees. He rocked himself from side to side as an attempt to calm himself, but before he knew it he was sobbing helplessly. Completely numbed by the rush of emotions, his mind went blissfully blank as  he cried his heart out in a mix of pure shame, anger, and loneliness.

Familiar fingers went running through his hair. Another hand  firm, but kindly loosening his arms from around his legs. Two, gentle, small hands pressed his shoulders back against the balustrade. Another gentle push on his knees and he felt a familiar weight straddled across his thighs. She picked up his arms and wrapped them around her waist. Again there was a familiar hand in his hair as his head was carefully moved to rest on her chest. Another arm was on his backside  softly stroking up and down his spine.

Sobbing like a child, he embraced her, hugging her in closely. He could hear her humming  in his ear, felt the vibrations in her chest as she gently rocked him. Safe. Home. Safe. Home. Repeated the two words like a mantra. Slowly, the tears began to subside, his heartbeat slowed as his breathing became  more even. Not able to yet speak, he kissed her in the hollow of her neck where the collarbones meet, hoping she'd understand the sentiment.

Dany's small, delicate hands quickly found their way to either sides of his face as she  carefully lifted him up to her awaiting gaze. Keeping his eyes closed, he felt her stroke his unruly hair out of his face. The shame was still burning in his veins. I can't look at you, Dany. Please. Not now.

Kisses as soft as summer rain were peppered in the tracks of his hot tears, so tenderly and with so much love that it had almost made him cry again. Why does she still bother to care for me? Because she's a vet and wounded animals is what she does, Jon! The voices in his head reminded him again of his status as 'non-human', his heart was again shattered. His loose grasp on the raft in the stormy seas lost. No light in the dark, no hope left. Just when I thought I'd found solid ground underneath my feet again.

"Jon, my love, stay with me." A sweet voice reached his ears like a whisper in the winds. "You are safe, you loved and you are wise."

He knew those words. They'd been whispered to him like a mantra for many nights the past many months. I'm safe, I'm loved and I'm wise. Dany! My home! Yes. Yes, I'm safe. Safe with Dany. I'm loved. Loved by Dany. I'm wise like Dany. Dany, my home. Safe. Home. Safe. Home.

"Jon," she kept peppering him with kisses as if to ensure him that she was real. "Listen to me now, ok?"

He nodded weakly.

"Listen carefully." She spoke quietly.

Another nod.

"I love you," she said as she laid a tender kiss upon his forehead. "You're the most courageous man I've met. I love your warrior heart,"one kiss to the left cheek, "–And you  are the most loving man I've met. I love your generous and kind spirit," another kiss she planted to the right cheek as she continued on, "but you don't have to fight by yourself anymore. You don't have to fight anymore at all." A peck to his nose. "We're all here for you. I asked you to let me be your strength until you regained yours. Remember?" She rested her forehead against his own.

I remember, Dany. You've been so strong already for months. I can't—

As if read his mind she interrupted him, "—and I'll continue to be strong for you as long as it's needed, Jon!"

The shame was resurfacing once more as. he began to lower his head as much as she would let him. He leaned in forward to once again rest his head upon her chest.

"Jon, you're a man. My man. Do you understand?"

He slowly shook his head. No Dany...I don't. He felt her little laugh more than heard it.

"My love, you're human. Not an animal," and before  he could object she continued, "..your instinctive reactions can be similar to that of a wounded animal. Agreed. You've been conditioned to respond that way. For your own safety and survival."

New tears began to burn and well behind his closed eyelids.

"You've survived so much trauma, and I'm so proud of you for not hiding. I'm so honoured that you let me in." His head was gently turned up as she showered him with a new round of kisses. "This isn't going to disappear over night or a few months or even a few years. This is something you'll carry with you for the rest of your life. I'm so sorry that this burden has been thrust upon you, my love, but I'll be here to carry the load with you as much as I can."

He gave up trying to stop the tears, letting them flow like waterfalls as Dany gently began to kiss them all away.

"As you grow more and more used to being loved, showered with affection and genuine care for your person, hopefully in time there'll be longer and longer between the times when you feel like you do now. But it'll take time, Jon. You need to allow yourself the time to heal. Some wounds will never heal, I know." How does she sound so sure and so heartbroken, all  at the same time? "Do you understand what I am saying, my love?"

At last, he finally opened his eyes slowly and carefully. It was dark outside now. Only light was from the small lanterns placed along the length of balustrade. How long have we been up here? When he finally managed to find his voice as it was hoarse from all his  crying he said, "I hear you and I understand. My love."

The soft lips that had previously sprinkled feather-like kisses upon his face were now on his own dry ones, breathing new life and hope into him with a passion he'd thought about since he first saw her at the wedding ceremony several hours ago.

When Dany reluctantly pulled away to catch some much needed air, she rested her forehead against his own. "You've never called me that before," she whispered, her eyes sparkling.

"No, I guess I haven't." He smiled seeing the joy in her eyes. "Can't keep only calling you 'Dany', can I?"

"You can if nothing else feels right for you." she said,  running her fingers through his hair once more.

He pulled her in a little closer as he said in a light whisper, "wouldn't have said it if it didn't feel right, darling."

"Darling? Oh you spoil me," she said with a grin  before giving him another deep kiss.

"By the way," he said pulling slightly back, "when you said 'we're all here for you' who exactly did you mean?" Did I ruin everything again now? He gave her a nervous look.

"I mean your pack, Jon. Your family. The wolves of Winterfell and the Dragons of Dragonstone." Oh thank the Gods, she smiling. "As a matter of fact I can tell you that Robb has sent the Ambassador home -  without her dinner." She snickered. "My mom sent a text a while ago."

"Wow! I'm impressed." Good job, brother. That was a ballsy move.

"Apparently so was the President." Seeing his surprise Dany nodded firmly. "In a few years when we sit together watching our butterflies play together with their dragon cousins, maybe a small litter of wolf pups," he couldn't help smiling at the picture she was painting, "who knows, might even be a little lion there." She laughed lightly. "This could potentially be a highlight for the usual storytelling around the campfire, don't you think?"

"Hmm....possibly," he said in a breath, his fingertips running up and down along her spine.

She smirked as she settled herself a little closer and a little lower. Oh Gods!

"I expect a dragonwolf or two to be added to the pack as well in the coming years," she sighed as she began to roll her curvy hips slightly. Gods this woman!

"Dragonwolves, huh?"

"Mhmm." Damn, that smirk!

"You'd be providing the dragon part I presume?"

"That'd be correct, Captain, " she answered seductively as she rolled her hips once more.   So 'Captain' is code for when she either wants to climb me like a tree or hang me from a tree. Noted!

"And the wolf part?"

"Any suggestions?"

"How about the Captain you're currently teasing, Dr. Targaryen?"

"That's a splendid suggestion!" She leant into him as she suckled his earlobe before gently scraping her teeth against his ivory skin. Breathe, you’ve gotta breathe...slowly!

"What a coincidence as I only practise procreation with winged females," he rasped, as he suddenly began to grin.

"Is that so?" she asked. Grabbing a fistful of his curly hair, she  pulled his head back slightly to look him in his eyes.

He nodded slowly.

An eyebrow furrowed up as she whispered, "..wings as in literally or figuratively speaking?"

"Either." He pushed up slightly to meet the roll of her hips.

She gasped as she said, "including angels?"

"—and fairies," he answered with a smirk.

She threw her head back laughing.

Sucking the hollow of her neck leaving a bright, red mark upon her soft and delicate skin, he rasped, " I always did have a thing for Tinker Bell."

"Oh! Would that make you Peter Pan?" Gods, I love that teasing look in her eye.

"He was just a child, woman!" He feigned offence.

She laughed again. One of my favourite melodies.

"...should I be worried about you being on the prowl for a younger model?"

"Oh shut up you big oaf!" She gave him a teasing slap on the shoulder.

"Oaf? I thought I was a wolf."

"Nah ah, you're a stallion," she replied as she slightly bit her lower lip.

"Am I now?" He asked quizzically, his kisses leading it’s way up her neck to her ear.

"Yes." Her breathing was getting heavier. "My prized Dornish stallion." Yes, I'm sure you feel it for every roll you make with those Gods damn amazing hips of yours!

"Prized stallion?"

"The prettiest in all the lands." She giggled.

"Prettiest? Wow! Think I'll go back to being an oaf then, thank you very much!"

Throwing her head back, she bursted into a fit of laughter.

He tightened his grip along  her lower back with one strong, muscular arm as he used  the other for leverage. He found a way to get back up onto his feet without dropping her. The clumsiness of the movement had made Dany laugh even harder which had made it more difficult for him to hold onto her. Gaining his balance, he gently lowered her to her dainty feet.

He dove in for another deep, heated kiss. "Take me to bed, Dany. Help me forget."

"Well," she drawled as she took his hand and started leading him towards the door, "you're the Best Man and I'm the Maid-of-Honour," she said, turning  her head as she flashed him a mischievously-sly smile, "I believe it's tradition."