#beard growth benefits

[becca-e-barnes]

Before I go back to writing requests again, I'm fully obsessed with 'Too Sweet' by Hozier and I just need to talk about it 🤤

Like dbf!Bucky laying you down on your bed, maybe in a little bit of a hurry before your parents get home.

"You're too sweet for me." Even as he's saying it, he's tugging your dress up, kissing up the insides of your bare thighs, letting you enjoy the gentle scratch of a couple of days of beard growth.

You pull your dress off the rest of the way, lying on your bed in only your underwear and it forces him to take a second that he really doesn't have to pause and just admire you.

"Far too sweet for me." He confirms, drinking in the sight of you. All those soft curves and kissable expanses of bare skin weigh on him because with so little time, where is he supposed to start? It's not fair to rush this but it's not like either of you would benefit from getting caught.

The way he looks at you gives you a confidence you've found you really benefit from.

"Maybe I'm not too sweet." You can't stop yourself, letting your hand trail from your breasts to the elastic band of your panties, sliding under the thin material.

Your fingers stray towards your clit, the tip of your middle finger circling the little bundle of nerves, very aware that you've got such a keen audience. Fuck, you're so wet already. You can't help it when he kisses the way he does; like he fucking needs you.

"Maybe I'll do all the naughty things you've ever dreamed of and then some. Maybe I'll be the one to ruin you." You're almost convincing yourself with this and it's thrilling to watch him squirm, his dick twitching in the confines of his jeans.

"I'd like you to." He hadn't given that a whole lot of thought until now. Up until this point, you were the sweet young woman who was entirely too wholesome to get tangled up with him.

That all changes quite quickly. It's hard not to when you remove the hand from your panties, trailing your arousal soaked fingertip along his bottom lip, keen to see how long it would take him to engulf it with his eager mouth. Not long at all, it appears.

[carlsdarling]

Could you write something where carl has always been super in love with the reader but she only starts paying attention to him after Beth’s death also can you include some smut once they get to Alexandria?

New friends & benefits

After losing your best friend Beth, you and Carl finally get closer and you show him your affection... Bit more of a plot, then sex. Everyone is 18 or over.

WARNINGS: smut, nsfw, oral (male receiving)

Beth had been your best friend, you literally shared everything; you had been inseparable - especially during your time in prison. Your cells were next to each other, and you stayed up late chatting together. Sometimes you told each other creepy stories, or you played cards, you put make-up on each other and did each other's hair.

Carl kept trying to join you, but you always sent him away. Sometimes you were pretty mean to him, but he got on your nerves. He was a little younger than the two of you, and you didn't know what to do with him. Plus, he was always gawking at you and peeping at you, whatever you were doing.

Beth often made fun of that. "Carl has a crush on you, Y/N. He literally adores you," she giggled. She was probably right about that, but it wasn't something you were proud of.

Then the day came when the prison fell, Hershel died, and you fled to all points of the compass. Not only had Beth and you been lost to each other; you found yourself completely alone in the wilderness, fleeing from a pack of walkers that the Governor had let loose before he died.

For weeks you wandered around, lonely, starving and thirsty; you were not used to being alone. Shortly after the apocalypse started, you had ended up on Hershel's farm, following the death of your parents, and he had taken you in. The farm had been a relatively sheltered place. And now he was dead, and you had no idea where Beth had ended up. Or the others.

Finally, Daryl and Carol found you on the bank of a river, and you fell weeping into Carol's arms. You learned from Daryl that he had been with Beth for a while until she disappeared. Kidnapped. That's what he said, anyway. They were going to free her.

And then the horrible thing happened. Beth was killed, shot to death. You were paralyzed with grief when Carol told you, and you didn't really realize that you had found Rick's group again. You and Maggie shared your sorrow and your loss, you missed Beth and Hershel so terribly, and for a long time you shut yourself off from everyone else.

One evening, when Maggie was already asleep, you were sitting by the campfire, and Carl surprisingly joined you. You looked at him in amazement. It had been perhaps half a year since you had been separated, but you hardly recognized him. He had grown so much, tall and lanky he had become, and he had developed some beard growth. "I'm so sorry about Beth, Y/N," he said sympathetically, putting his hand on your shoulder. "I liked her, too. Even though you two never liked me." He laughed humorlessly.

"That's hardly true, Carl," you replied, "Thank you. It's just... you were so young. How old are you again?"

"Seventeen," he replied, tossing a branch into the fire. "No longer a child," he pointed out, eyeing you. When you didn't respond, he said goodbye and went to sleep.

One year later

A lot had happened in the interim. You had gotten to Alexandria, and Carl and you had become close buddies. You were really starting to like him. Then Carl lost his eye and tried to push you away; he withdrew from everyone, but you wouldn't let him throw away your friendship and persisted in seeking his company, even though he kept saying mean things to force you away. "I've already lost Beth," you said heatedly, picking up the plate and the ham sandwich. Carl had slammed both against the wall and yelled for you to leave, that he didn't want you around. "I'm not going to lose you, too, Carl. No way," you vowed.

"Look at me, Y/N!" he yelled. "I look terrible! I'm not worth it!" The bullet wound hadn't completely healed and his bandage was still a little bloody.

"How can you say such a thing?" you said, affected. "I don't give a damn what you look like. You are, and will always be, my best friend. Period."

Carl sadly fiddled with a pillow. "And... and what if I still want to be more than besties?" he mumbled, barely audible, avoiding eye contact with you. "You know I've always had a little bit of a crush on you."

You held your breath. Several times over the last few months you had imagined that there could be more between you and Carl, you never thought it possible, but you had fallen a tad in love with him, which embarrassed you, especially because you had rejected him for years. So you didn’t admit it to him, and you also thought he had lost interest in you. He seemed to get along well with Enid, too well. Carl‘s accident didn't change your feelings at all, you only cared about him even more. "I'd be happy about that, Carl," you said, gathering all your courage.

He stared at you. Carl possessed such beautiful eyes - or, rather, a beautiful eye. "Are you kidding me? Before the accident you didn't want to be with me, why now? I do not believe you.“

You decided to prove it to him, and just pressed your lips to his. He flinched, taken aback, but then awkwardly returned the kiss. You embraced each other and continued your caresses. You were careful not to hurt Carl or touch the bandage. Carl was all tense from all the stress and suffering, his neck muscles felt rock hard. "Lie down on your back," you whispered in his ear, gently kissing his neck.

"What are you up to?" he wondered, but obeyed.

"Just let me do it. Relax," you commanded, shoving his shirt up a little and starting to kiss his stomach. Carl gasped excitedly. You played with his belly button with your tongue and licked along the line of soft dark hair leading way down, then undid his belt and jeans. Carl was already hard, and whimpering with arousal, he squirmed under you. "Lift your hips," you said, and he did, and you pulled his jeans and boxers down so that his cock was exposed. "Not bad, it's bigger than I thought," you teased, taking him in your hand and kissing the already slightly wet, reddened tip before sliding his shaft into your mouth. You massaged it with your lips and sucked gently on it, and Carl almost lost his mind. He moaned, thrusted vigorously into your mouth and tugged on your hair.

"I've dreamed of this for so long, Y/N," he confessed, tossing his head back and forth on the pillow, his eye closed. Tenderly you continued to suck Carl off. After a short while, he became fidgety. "I, I think I, I'm about to cum," he stuttered nervously. „Where? Y/N, I…“ Apparently he was apprehensive about cumming in your mouth.

"It's okay, Carl," you assured him, kissing him on the lips. "Just let go. Let yourself go." Again you took his dick in your mouth and sucked and licked on it, Carl was beyond close, he just sighed and whimpered, then his cum filled your mouth. A load squirted, then a second one and a third. You swallowed it all and waited until Carl was finally done with his load before you let his now softened cock slip out of your mouth, licking him clean and lay down next to him.

Carl snuggled up to you, his pants still pulled down, he was all sweaty and sticky. He glanced at you in love. "I didn't know you felt that way about me, Y/N," he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes, I do," you clarified, tugging the blanket over both of you and playing with Carl’s hair.

[donkeytonk]

Hunger

Crispin (Toast) Amell is a character that belongs to @iamaweretoad. This story follows an RP thread that we made together in 2018, but you don't need to know that story in order to read this one. I'm not usually a writer, but the gardener mage Sula has stayed in my imagination all these years. Please consider this my Toast fanfic, because I love him (and miss him) very much.

Hunger

When Sula had been a girl in the Circle, she could never get enough food.

“Ethel, can’t I have some more? I’m still hungry!” she would plead.

“Good!” the old woman would snap. “That means you’re still alive.” But invariably she would give the little girl her own portion to finish, the same thing that Sula later did for her own apprentices.

Fleeing in the forests, far away from the abundance of her garden, the little children were always hungry and Sula would pretend that she could not finish. “Oh, so many beans and I’m just too full to eat them. Will you help me Flora, Miles?” By now she had learned the skill of hunger.

You don’t need food, you just need some more water, Ethel’s words always reminded her.

Fasting is good for you.

Fasting keeps you healthy from time to time.

It’s good to be hungry. It means you’re alive.

Sula had never understood the older mage’s words, and she remained skeptical of their truth. There was much of Ethel’s wisdom that she passed on to the children, but the benefits of starvation was not one of them. The elder’s past must have been particularly wanting.

At home she had been surrounded by grain, fields as far as she could see. Beyond their little cottage garden everything was grain, tall and green and shining all the way to the sea. It was taller than herself and she could not see over it, but with a special touch she could cause the stalks to bow before her, clearing a path that was just her size. The first time she had discovered this skill, she had run through the field with her arms spread wide, laughing with glee as the stalks parted in withering curls. It felt as if she ran for hours making maze paths, circles and spirals.

But after that, of course, everyone had been angry. The man with the black beard had always frightened her, and he yelled at her father about putting a sun on her forehead. She had not known what that meant at the time, but when he demanded that they “give her to me!” she ran to the house to hide in the cupboard. Then during the night, her mother had roused her from bed to get dressed, and she was taken away. She could not remember what lie they told her but she thought then that it was temporary, just some good people to protect her for a while, just until the bearded man calmed down. There was a man in armor that made her feel peculiar and anxious, but they told her that he was there to make sure she was safe.

And now she had the power to nurture growth in those fields. Her parents could have bought their own land within a couple of years with the wealth of grain that she could have produced. But she had nearly no memory of who they were, not their names nor their village. They had just been mama and papa to her. They never wrote or visited. Would they have welcomed her home if they knew of her skills now?

But the other members of the Circle became her family, and she was proud of her ability to provide. There had been such lean years in her younger days, but with her innate skills and the knowledge of Lene, the herbalist, they had managed to make the courtyard garden flourish. They had started with Lene’s medicinal herbs, and the villagers were pleased to purchase tinctures, tonics and oils ostensibly blessed through magic. Locally their Circle earned a reputation as fine herbalists, and best of all, for the Chantry, it all brought in more money. There was not much land within their enclosure, but somehow, through the promise of more income, they were allowed to purchase a field nearby where they started to grow their own food: grain and vegetables, beans and berries, and they even made a little orchard. Lene taught Sula how to preserve fruits for winter, how to dry and store the fat tubers, how to save seeds and take cuttings for new propagation, as well as her usual medicinal mixtures. Sula taught Lene and the apprentices how to dessicate weeds with a touch, how to enrich the soil’s goodness, how to extend its moisture, to increase a plant’s vitality, and how to warm and encourage growth day by day.

***

In the forest they were constantly hungry. There had not been enough warning time or else they could have brought more food with them. Every day and every night when her stomach tightened, she thought of her orchard and vegetables. The villagers would probably take it all, but they wouldn’t know how to nurture it. They wouldn’t know to pinch off the tops, would they? Did they know how to trim the branches? They would descend like locusts and eat everything. They wouldn’t know to save the seeds, and the collection would be lost forever. It had taken her years to acquire them all. Some of them came from places she had only heard of in traveler’s tales.

And her stores! Dried apples and pears, almonds, all the different beans still on their racks, preserved plums in bottles buried in the cellar, frostberries dry and in crocks with spirits, fresh peas and dried peas and peas in spiced oil, hazelnuts and their paste, dried apricots, the long plaits of onions and garlic hanging from the rafters, all the tubers harvested and covered in straw, the starts for next spring, the seeds in dry pots, the seeds in wet sand, the rare seeds in her treasure box, the sunflower seeds for planting and eating. The wheat, barley, amaranth, sedgeseed.

“It’s all right, you finish it,” she would tell the youngest children. “It will be our secret, promise?” Fasting is good for you. You don’t need food, you just need water. Ethel had lived through lean times. The older mages too needed all the strength they could get, hunting, clearing paths, scouting for safety. A gardener has no work on the run, so protecting the children became her primary duty. Her body remembered how to go without.

I’m hungry!

Good, that means you’re alive.

Dear old Ethel, what hunger did you survive?

And then they had found the dead soldiers and their empty fort. There was only one man still alive there, and he seemed not to mind a relief of his duties. There were barracks and beds and stores of food. Mora made them a stew the very first night, and everyone ate their fill and more. There were clean clothes and blankets, fresh water, enough time for rest, and three weeks of peace.

Sula began to think of starting a garden. There is hope in a garden, thoughts of the future in a garden, plans for life in a garden. Two weeks of life full of possibilities. Some dried peas and wheat in the stores were still viable, and she could search for dried berries in the woods. She found a spot near the well where grass was still growing green. The soil must be good there. That would be her garden. One week of preparation and winter planting.

***

The Inquisition soldiers had started a fire in the fort while they were asleep and attacked them as they fled for safety. She had told the children to follow Bennet, the eldest. There were only five of them now: Bennet, Sal, Deidre, Flora, Miles. Bennet wanted to fight, but he seemed to understand that getting the younger ones to safety was paramount. She should have gone herself. What had happened to them? How had Miles gotten separated from the rest? Had any of the other children been killed too? Had Bennet or Sal carried them away to die in the forest? Had Bennet been wounded and Miles came to find her? She had promised that she would be right behind them.

Why had she thought she must bring her staff?

Because she was just a gardener. She did not have the fighting skills or expertise of the others. In spite of years of training, she was no fighter. But with the aid of her wooden staff she thought she might be able to protect the children, perhaps, if their little group was not directly attacked. But now, in the face of utter loss, she knew that she would have been useless to save them, with or without that damned staff. There were too many soldiers and a much stronger mage. If she had gone with the apprentices, at least she could have died trying. At least she would not have outlived Miles.

Instead she had been trapped in the doorway, knocked down by the falling timbers and her arm pinned to the ground. How she had screamed as the fire climbed her arm! And still there was no one to help her. Screams were everywhere in the fort and outside of it and no one seemed to notice hers. She could not even remember how she managed to escape, how she had managed to flee to the woods. She could not remember anything until a soldier stood in front of her aiming an arrow at her heart, a soldier with an Inquisition mage at his side.

***

With her mana drained by the enemy mage and her good hand tethered to a soldier’s belt, she was helpless, useless, defenseless. She could do nothing with her bandaged arm, although it was slowly healing under the other mage’s attention. He was a healer. Why couldn’t she have been a healer? What use was gardening if her people died by fire and arrows? And now she would be killed too, or worse, made tranquil, alive in body but not in spirit. They would put the sunburst on her forehead and her personhood would be lost; she would become a mindless slave with no will of her own, a dead thing living on for years. There would be no more Sula Ronoy, just a body.

When the Circle had fled to the forests, they had never marched this much in a day. They had had to pace themselves for the children while the faster ones scouted ahead. These soldiers were used to long marches though, and they kept going on with no sign of flagging at all. Sula had never walked so much in her life. The female soldier dragging her along was the same one she had met the first morning after being captured, one who seemed to particularly hate mages, even their own healer Crispin. Perhaps she hated everybody. Sula certainly hated her.

But finally the sky was growing dim and soon there would be no light to see their way. They stopped for the night.

“Sit there,” the woman ordered, pulling Sula to a spot near the edge of their campsite. As Sula sank to the ground in relief, the woman pulled the tether on Sula’s wrist and lashed it to a tree.

“I need some water,” Sula begged.

“You’ll get some later.” And the woman left her, clearly glad to be rid of her charge.

Finally, Sula was alone. The soldiers were nearby, setting up camp and starting fires, but no one paid any attention to her. Her feet ached, her arm ached, her entire body ached. But now that she was still, her grief overflowed like a broken dam and drowned every bodily sense. Her friends were gone forever, the only family that she knew in the world. Her little boy was dead. Two of her friends were dead. She would be tortured for the deaths of those other soldiers until they broke her to betray her friends. They would make her say terrible things, and then they would hunt them down and kill them all, even the children.

We don’t kill children, their mage had said. But they did.

She could not even wipe her face with her good hand, tied as close as it was to the tree. It didn’t matter. She let the tears fall and she wept, curled on the ground in the mud of snowmelt.

*** “Mage! Wake up and eat.” The woman kicked Sula awake and set down a bowl of something hot. She was already walking away as Sula struggled to sit up. She looked at the bowl with confusion at first, reaching out the awkward paw of her heavily bandaged hand and tugging at the tether that trapped the other.

“Wait,” she called as the woman joined her comrades. “I can’t eat like this.”

The woman snorted. “Oho, does madam need a golden spoon?” The other soldiers laughed as she mimicked a bow, then she sat down to fill her own bowl. One of them called her by her name: Eklund.

“I can’t eat with my hand like this,” Sula insisted.

Eklund rolled her eyes. “No one said I’d be a wet nurse to feed a baby. Wait for your mage to come and help you.”

The healer mage who had betrayed her into this fate? The man who had lied when he promised her freedom? He was on the far side of the campsite. He had stayed away from her during the day’s march, and now he was continuing to keep his distance. Perhaps he had saved her life by treating her burned arm, through all its tortuous pain, but his prize was her capture for the Inquisition. He had used his power to drain her of her mana so she would be helpless and harmless. She was in no hurry to see him again.

Should she lap up the soup like a dog? In spite of crushing grief, she was hungry. The exhausting march had left her ravenous. But her bandaged hand could do nothing more than prod the bowl as it sat on the ground. She would have to wait. Fasting is good for you.

***

She awoke with a scream and tried to sit up, panicking, pain burning both of her hands. Her body was frozen but her hands were on fire. She screamed again as she discovered she could not move them.

The biggest most fearsome guard came rushing over, but for now his face was full of concern. “What is it?”

“My hand, I can’t feel my hand! It’s burning!”

The other soldiers were still sitting around their fire. She could not have been asleep for long. Eklund grumbled “She’s having nightmares and it’s barely even night yet.”

The big man stared down at her bandaged hand. “Oh. I’ll go and get the healer to take a look.”

“No! No, no, this hand!” She looked at her right hand tied to the tree. “I can’t move it, I can’t feel it! Please! It’s too tight!”

He hesitated, perhaps wondering if it was a trick, but when he touched her hand he could feel that it was hot and her fingers so swollen that they could barely move.

“Damn it, Eklund, you can’t tie her hand so tight! Sorry, missy. Don’t fret, don’t cry, you’ll be all right.” He was searching for the knots when he was interrupted.

“Rennick, what’s going on?”

Sula looked up and through the blur of her tears she saw the red hair of the healer mage Crispin.

“Oh, Mister Toast, the apostate girl was just complaining her hand was sore. I think it just got too tight here, I’ll fix it.”

And then she was released from the tree. The big soldier Rennick left her in the care of the healer who crouched down to examine her. He observed the swelling, the heat, the redness, and sent a cool glow from his own hand to hers. “Can you make a fist? Can you open and close your fingers? Move like this. It will feel better soon.”

Her panic subsiding, Sula nodded as she stretched her sore hand.

Crispin looked around and said “You don’t have a blanket?”

“Where would I get a blanket?” she retorted, tears still coloring her voice.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure that you get one.” He noticed the bowl of soup. “You didn’t eat?”

“How?” she demanded. “I couldn’t even pick it up.”

“I’m sorry. Here, can you hold it now?” He held it out for her good hand, now with enough slack in its tether to allow her movement. She reached out and awkwardly gripped the bowl. “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.” His voice was dull and officious. He stared at her as she took a sip, and then he abruptly rose and left.

The broth was already cool as she drank it, but there were pieces of tough meat still warm within, and she was able to eat them with her fingers.

Rennick was sent to deliver a blanket.

***

On the second day her mind was fixed on what she would say under interrogation. There was no point in silence or denial. She would need to tell a convincing story, since the truth had not been enough. The officer had accused her of killing the soldiers, and then – was it afterwards? – he had asked her about blood magic. She was not a blood mage, but if it would save her friends to confess it, she would say that she was. She would take the blame for killing all the soldiers, but she was not even sure how such a thing worked. “I summoned a demon to kill everyone”? Between her waves of panic, she still felt grief and rage. Could she take down the healer with her lie too? He was leading her today, more considerate than Eklund for all that he tried to ignore her. She hated him at every painful step on the path, hated every inch of his back as he marched tirelessly ahead of her. She would go to the lieutenant as soon as she was able. She would shout for him in camp if she had to.

“Lieutenant! I am a maleficar, an abomination, a blood mage.”

“But our mage said that you were not.”

“That’s because he’s one too.”

No. It was a daydream, and she doubted anyone would believe that. If they had ever suspected Crispin, they would not have let him join the Inquisition. She needed an explanation that they would believe in order to protect her friends. The lieutenant already had his doubts, but she had heard that his commander was a Templar knight. A Templar would have to believe her confession, wouldn’t he? And then she would be dead and not so tired, not so hungry and not so completely full of grief.

***

Eklund had charge of her again on the third day. At times the snow was higher than the tops of Sula’s boots and it poured in and melted on her toes. They felt like frozen fire and distracted her from her other aches.

They were crossing the mountains by now, and many of the paths were narrow and tricky. Even Eklund slipped once or twice on the ice. In spring this area must full of waterfalls, and the ravine probably held a river. It reminded Sula that she was horribly thirsty.

You don’t need food, you just need some water. But water would make her need to relieve herself more often, and Eklund’s impatience was violent. You don’t need water, you just need…

A string of curses accompanied Eklund’s misstep, and she landed hard on her backside. Sula’s arm was jerked forward and she cried out as she fell as well. She managed to stumble against the soldier’s back. “Careful,” Eklund grunted. “It’s slippery.” Other soldiers helped them back to their feet.

It was indeed slippery there. It was a mountain and the path tended to slope to the side. There were trees to catch them most of the time, but in this space around the waterfall there was nothing but rocks and ice. Instead of a slope below the path, the drop was almost a precipice. If she were to fall – if she were to jump – she would have a clear shot to the rocks below, a steep enough plunge that she might break her neck or skull. Attached to the other end of her rope, Eklund would be pulled down with her.

Eklund will have to step on that flat rock. That rock is smooth and it looks icy. There, that short man nearly slipped on it. She’ll be pulled off her feet. I’ll step onto that boulder then over the side. See Miles, I told you I’d be right behind you.

“Here missy, don’t look down.” A large voice and massive person was behind her, wrapping his own arm around her good one. It was the big soldier, Rennick. The sudden touch shocked her from all of her thoughts. “No, no no, don’t be scared, miss! I’ve got you, I won’t let you fall. You just hold on to me and you’ll be safe, all right? Eklund, pass me the rope here. She’s too scared to move.”

*** By the fourth day, her feet were too sore to walk. Crispin was able to ease their pain, but her wet boots and stockings continued to chafe, inflaming the raw skin over and over. She was exhausted, hungry and thirsty all the time. The soldiers each carried their own water, but she had to beg for every sip.

You don’t need food, you just need water.

They would reach their destination tomorrow, they said.

At night it was always difficult to wrap herself in a blanket using only one hand. When everyone else seemed to be asleep that night, she pushed away her blanket and let the snow fall on her. With luck she would freeze to death in her sleep. She lay there for some time with her eyes closed, letting the cold chill her to the bone. She tried to fall asleep but could not control her shivering. And she had been wrong that everyone was sleeping. Someone walking through the camp noticed her, even in the dark. It must have been a sentry on watch. He brushed off the snow and covered her again, then built a small fire and sat down to watch her. Despite herself, she desperately welcomed the warmth. Then she felt the weight of a second blanket or cloak. When her shivering subsided at last, she fell asleep.

*** On the fifth day, she woke with an aching throat. This accompanied her inflamed feet, burned arm, exhausted body, aching head, chafed wrist, thirst and hunger. When they finally arrived at her prison, terror seized her at first. For all her stoicism of facing death for her friends, the prospect of imprisonment and torture in the chantry’s dungeon overcame her heart. She had screamed as they dragged her down to the depths, and the presence of a Templar guard further frightened her. Putrid smells and rats, damp straw and bitter cold all conspired to break her will, but at last the long march was over. She was utterly exhausted, and in the end not even fear could keep her awake. She fell asleep, then woke feeling thoroughly ill.

Everything was filth, including herself. For days already she had worn the same clothes; she was given no water to wash with, barely even enough water to drink. The blankets smelled like mildew. Even the bread they gave her tasted of filth. You don’t need food…

Her body fluctuated between burning and freezing. Every touch felt like a bruise. She coughed until she thought that her ribs would break.

But the five days in the cell dragged on like years, and still they did not come to interrogate her. She had heard tales of their brutal treatment of mages. What were they waiting for? Had they already sentenced her to die of neglect? She barely noticed her guards anymore. It was just the healer Crispin, now her only link to the world. He seemed kind sometimes now. She told him that she was ready to confess but he advised her against it; he seemed to know the spymaster and what she would want to hear.

“Do you have any water?” He did not.

He brought Sula blankets and tried to soothe her fever. He tended her burns and cut the tether off of her wrist. He acted like a real healer. She was grateful. His might be the last friendly face that she would ever see.

“Sula, won’t you eat something?”

No. The time for all of that was past. Swallowing anything was agony in her throat. All she wanted was to sleep forever. If they questioned her now she knew all would be lost, but she could not summon the will to care about her fate.

I’m already in my grave. “I’m not hungry.”

---

(Part 2 here)

[bearificationtransformations]

To: Énorme Inc. Research Department

CC: [REDACTED}

From: [REDACTED}

Subject: Trial 23 of Beard Hair Growth Supplement - Male Test Subject

Our team conducted the study on the effectiveness of your recently developed beard hair growth supplement on a male test subject, age 28 (Subject 23 B) . The subject showed initially a sparse beard growth pattern.  As is typical [REDACTED] used a combination of visual observation and measuring tools to track the growth of the subject 23 B’s beard. After the supplement was administered,  [REDACTED] used a digital camera to take photographs of the subject's beard before and after the administration of the supplement. This allowed for a more detailed analysis of the subject's beard growth over the period of the experiment, as well as a more accurate comparison of the before and after results. As the beard grew remarkably fast,  [REDACTED] continued to measure using the  [REDACTED]  to observe and measure the extremely rapid growth of the hair. [REDACTED]  also noted the density and thickness of the beard as it grew, and documented any changes in texture or quality. Throughout the study, [REDACTED] maintained detailed records of the subject's beard growth, including the length and thickness of the beard hairs, the rate of growth, and any other notable changes.

Results of the study indicate that the beard hair growth supplement was highly effective. Within minutes of taking the supplement, the subject's beard started to grow rapidly, resulting in a large, dense beard. The subject's beard growth was remarkable, with an increase in length of approximately 4 inches, and a significant increase in thickness and density. Additionally, the subject noted that the hairs were growing at a faster rate than normal and were of a stronger, healthier quality.  [REDACTED] also observed an increase and growth of a significant amount of body hair. New, thick, vigorous androgenic hair sprouted all over Subject 23 B’s stomach, chest, shoulders and arms.  Subject 23 B showed surprise and alarm at these changes, the subject ultimately appeared to be satisfied with the results once the growth appeared to stop. In addition,  [REDACTED] noted that head hair as well as eyebrows also appeared to grow during the duration of the study.

The subject reported feeling “confident” with his new beard, and stated that he had always been self-conscious about his sparse beard growth  However, he was also alarmed by the dense new hair covering his body. Subject told  [REDACTED] :“I’m hairy as hell!” and “I never imagined I’d be a hairy guy like this.” Following the experiment Subject 23 B also noted that his peers were shocked by his appearance but commented positively on his new beard. While Subject 23 B was initially surprised by the extensive new growth of body hair,  he reports that he is now happy with the extensive and thick coverage of androgenic body hair.  Overall, Subject 23 B reported that he is grateful for the opportunity to participate in the study. CONCLUSION:

While the rapid and noticeable effects of the supplement are impressive, we recommend that additional study is needed to assess the long-term effects of the supplement on the subject's beard growth and overall health. It is also essential to test the supplement on a larger and more diverse group of individuals to confirm its effectiveness and ensure its safety for use. The additional and very significant increase in androgenic body hair may pose some concern to marketability.

Overall, the results of this study are promising, and we look forward to further research on this supplement to better understand its potential benefits for individuals seeking to stimulate hair growth.

Sincerely,

[REDACTED] _______________ To: Énorme Inc. Research Department

CC: [REDACTED}

From: [REDACTED}

Subject: Follow-up on Effectiveness of Beard Hair Growth Supplement on Male Test Subject

I am writing to follow up on our previous study on the effectiveness of your beard hair growth supplement on a male test subject, age 28. While the results of the study are promising in terms of beard growth stimulation, Subject 23 B has recently noted some unexpected side-effects.

Several days after our experiment Subject 23 B wrote to us to report, the subject  experiencing weight gain and an increased libido. The subject reports that he has gained approximately 10 pounds since the experiment concluded late last week and noted an increased desire for sexual activity. The subject reports feeling concerned about these side effects. While we are currently investigating the potential cause of these unexpected side effects, we recommend that further research is necessary to determine the safety and efficacy of this supplement for use. [REDACTED]  We look forward to further collaboration to better understand the potential benefits and risks associated with this supplement. Sincerely, [REDACTED] _______ To: [REDACTED]

From: [REDACTED].Research Team Lead

Subject: Cease Communication with Subject 23B

Thank you  [REDACTED]  for your email regarding the unexpected side effects reported by Subject 23B. We take these reports very seriously and are initiating an investigation into these potential side effects. In the meantime, we ask that you cease all communication with Subject 23B to avoid any further potential bias or influence on the subject's reporting of symptoms. We will follow up with the subject directly to gather additional information regarding the reported weight gain and increased libido.

We appreciate your dedication to this project and your commitment to ensuring the safety and efficacy of our products. Best regards,

 [REDACTED]

__________________ (Story and Art created in part with AI, but were heavily modified by author)

[synonomy]

What are your Remus and Sirius HCs that you try to incorporate in your fics?

Oh mannnn there’s a lot lol but here’s a general picture of how I see them and their dynamic:

My Remus is modelled heavily on young David Thewlis, which is why he’s always a nerdy beanpole with legs for days. Like David, I think he’s unconventionally attractive— even average at first glance, but his hotness kinda sneaks up on you as you get to know him. He wears a lot of comfy old man clothes and never knows what to do with his hair. But he was born to wear tweed. And he looks incredible (in mine and Sirius’ opinion) with a light beard/stubble. He’s also hung like a horse (don’t @ me, it’s just true).

I draw a lot from David’s portrayal of Remus in the films too— that hot professor energy just hit so right, you know? 😩 So he’s calm, deliberate, sensible, soft spoken, witty. A little socially awkward and emotionally repressed, though he does his best to be kind and understanding with people. He’s highly articulate due to a lifetime of reading books and writing, which is why he’s a master dirty-talker, though paradoxically he rarely ever swears or uses vulgarity. He is an avid user of terms of endearment for Sirius (love, sweetheart, darling). He’s academically inclined and quite intelligent, though not naturally gifted the way Sirius is; he has to work at it.

I also think growing up as a poor and ostracised person has given him a few complexes which, in my head, basically translate to him being a soft dom lol. He has a need for control (because God forbid a dark creature such as him lose control) he despises the idea of being a burden or people feeling pity for him, and he often sucks at taking care of himself— since, subconsciously, he doesn’t think he deserves it. So he turns his attention outwards, doting on and providing for and taking care of other people instead. I get into this pretty explicitly in Starting a Stone, though that universe is set in a time where Remus (and his relationship with Sirius) has experienced a shitton of growth. Thus, I write him more sincere and emotionally forthright than I would otherwise.

By contrast, my Sirius is a vulgar and defiant little shit (affectionate) who wears his heart on his sleeve. Coming from the oppressive and pompous nightmare that was his pureblood upbringing, his complexes revolve around a need for ‘freedom’, or the need to be himself unapologetically, for better or worse. He cannot abide dishonesty, repression or passive aggression. Naturally, this can cause a hell of lot of conflict with Remus, but that’s exactly why they’re so good for each other. Remus benefits from Sirius calling him out on his bullshit, and Sirius benefits from Remus’ voice of reason/calming presence when he gets too caught up in his emotions and frustrations. Definitely see him as a somewhat bratty bottom, demanding and determinedly unashamed of what he wants (in further defiance of his puritanical upbringing).

Physically, the dude is very conventionally gorgeous and he knows it, though he doesn’t attach much significance to it. He dislikes wearing formal/stifling clothing for obvious reasons, but he enjoys seeing Remus wearing it (this trope has somehow snuck its way into both my major series lol). He keeps his hair long as another measure of petty defiance, but he also dislikes the faff of dealing with it, which is why his standard hairdo is a quick and messy bun.

Oh, and he’s average height, he just looks miniature stood next to the giant lank that is Remus lol

[theangryman]

effects on *my* body after roughly a decade on Testosterone

I’ll put intimate details near the end if you want to avoid that.

-> voice dropped. Not really as much as I wanted, my customer service/phone voice still gets read as female sometimes. Read as gay/shy in social interactions, but fair enough. Some of it would be better if I had ever put the effort into voice training/“speaking from the chest” but I just have the voice of a fairy queen and that’s alright. I’d say cracks started a year in, and lasted few a couple years with a decline in frequency.

-> hair growth. Leg hair and pits denser although thinning as I get older. Chest hair started three years in, but by year 5 I was already more of a bear than my cis bf was. Started as a treasure trail, worked up to pecs. Beard growth was slow and study - terrible teenage boy acne beard at year 2, decent even growth at year 4, and since year 9 I’m at Santa Claus tier. (At this point, when I out myself to people they genuinely don’t believe me)

-> hair thinning. This is a recent development. Hairline has begun receding slightly. My widows peak is slightly more prominent.

-> sweat. So much fucking sweat. I had hyperhydrosis pre-transition, but I bleed through clothes now. Embarrassing and annoying tbh.

-> taste. Food tastes different on T. I’m fucking obsessed with gut destroying hot wings and beer. Whiskey tastes better. Subjective af, but when I miss a dose it ain’t the same.

-> red blood cells. I consistently read high on these. Person I’m seeing now says it’s alright, that I need to donate blood. I find the net benefits of testosterone to outweigh possible increased stroke risk personally, but it is important to be aware of.

and the tmi

->menstruation. Stopped *very* quickly, like first shot. I always had weird ones. I’ve had a couple when I’ve missed a few shots.

-> sexual function: clitoris roughly tripled in size, no issues with atrophy or ability to lubricate

and the danger - the ability to make adult decisions while experiencing teenage boy puberty is pretty dangerous. I did tons of dangerous, impulsive bullshit to impress people or because I was horny in my early 20s

[parvuls]

ted lasso thoughts and HEAPS of spoilers

current fave eps: ep2 > ep4 > ep1 > ep3. although, honestly? not enjoying this season as much as the other two. we're DEFINITELY in the dark forest.

taking it from the top: this week we're obviously dealing with anger and when it's healthy or unhealthy to express it.

ted first. loved his obsession with sassy telling him he's a mess. I feel like everybody tried to shake ted this season, but it was the wrong approach - ted doesn't respond to being told he should be angrier, or that he has to win. it's not who he is! but ted does respond to people calling him out on not having it together, and the way that translated in this ep was great. he still hasn't cracked open the nate box, but sassy and beard did drive him to finally talk to michelle. although I would've loved him to be more angry, and actually call her out on the unethical aspect of it and how SHE SHOULD'VE TALKED TO HIM ABOUT BRINGING A PERSON INTO THEIR CHILD'S LIFE, and even hear her response - I'm happy that we got some reaction out of him at all.

next up is the team, which, honestly? my favorite part of the season so far. that scene they glare at nate in a row is FUCKING GOLD!!! and yeah, that anger made them play like shit, but I liked that honestly. I think with the whole zava thing and ted falling apart we've veered too far from The Lasso Way. playing just to win or out of hate isn't supposed to work out for you in this show, because the whole point is that being a good person reaps rewards. loved that they kind of took a hit because now we know there's definitely some well earned wins coming their way!

aaaand rebecca. certainly close on the team's heels as this season's star. her choice to express her anger to ted in HIS words (being uhhh a bit too supportive and optimistic haha) was SO good. and her choice not to go to bex to immediately hurt rupert spoke so much about her and what she's been through. her reeling her anger in to tell him to get his shit together for someone else's benefit? incredible, amazing, 10/10.

the whole keeley arcs this season are actually really disappointing me. I'm not a fan of this disjointed storytelling. first there's the roy breakup, which keeley STILL did not get the chance to grieve on screen, and then there's barbara, which seemed like it was going somewhere for a hot sec but in this episode it's like it didn't happen? and then there's shandy, which??? like, yeah, she majorly fucked up now, there were hints this was coming, but WHERE IS IT GOING, one minute she's doing well and one minute she's fucking it all up? and now jack is just another directionless character (although loved the twist of more women in charge). and keeley/jamie????

some interviews almost explicitly stated there'd be more keeley/jamie this season and that it'd become "less clear who should be with who", but, I'm sorry, I'm really let down by this writing. keeley/jamie are obviously not endgame and if somehow they are, this is HIMYM syndrome and the writers are deaf to their audience. which means jamie is just a device to further the keeleyroy drama and it's TIRING, and it's annoying, and he's been doing so well and deserves better. like yeah jamie is more accountable now? but also he and keeley are muuuuch better off as platonic, as evidenced by the growth they've had SPECIFICALLY when not fucking.

last but not least before we touch on nate - the trent slow burn with all the lingering looks on colin are a nice touch. I think the way they toned down the drama from last episode's cliffhanger really puts things into perspective, and lets the viewer observe locker room homophobia from an outsider's pov.

nate, my behated ♥️ the decision to let nate be awkward and fumbling and remorseful again was SO WELL DONE. his transition into a west ham baddie was too extreme, and I simply could not see them come back from it - so letting his soft sides show was just the right call. like, fuck if I forgive him for all his shit? man needs to get some fucking therapy and take accountability for his actions. and ted needs to get the fuck over his trauma and CALL NATE OUT. but this way, with these glimpses of the old nate showing, and his willingness to apologize so early on even before the illusion breaks, I can sort of see how a redemption arc could be possible.

[originalworldbeauty]

Original World Beauty Launches A New Line For Clean Beauty Lovers With Phytonutrients For The Face and Body.

[Westlake Village, CA. October 6th, 2023] – Original World Beauty, a new brand committed to producing high-quality, nutrient-rich skincare, is thrilled to announce the launch of a new collection for the face and body. The line of products is generated around powerful antioxidants and vitamin-rich ingredients, their plant-based oils and serums are sourced from all corners of the globe and expertly handcrafted to fit perfectly with modern-day lifestyles.

The New Collection Features:

The innovative Luster Antioxidant Face Oil and the ceramide-rich Timeless Body Oil.

Luster features the anti-aging Phyto-Retinol Bakuchiol, the potent antioxidant Astaxanthin, the soothing properties of green tea, hibiscus flower, and calendula extract with pomegranate oil, rosehip, black cumin, and squalane. Luster promotes a radiant and youthful complexion by boosting cell turnover, providing protection against damaging environmental factors, smooths the appearance of fine lines, and improves hyperpigmentation. Each bottle is thoughtfully blended to provide customers with a luxurious and effective skincare experience.

Timeless Body Oil is a blend of antioxidants and ceramide-rich oils such as Plum, Jojoba, and Oat with Goji Berry extract. It provides a deep moisturizing experience while helping reinforce the skin's natural barrier, leaving it feeling incredibly soft and glowing. The scent is delightfully sweet, and the oil can be used as a fine mist or slow-releasing pump for the body and hair.

Alongside Luster Face Oil and Timeless Body Oil, Original World Beauty offers a range of other organic oil serums to cater to various skincare needs.

Argan Oil Serum with Vitamin C: formulated to brighten and nourish the skin.

Castor and Pumpkin Oil: for lashes, eyebrows, and hair designed to boost and strengthen hair follicles.

Beard Boost with Sandalwood: A beard oil to moisturize and promote the growth of the beard.

Dragon’s Blood Salve: One of the most interesting, exotic, and underrated raw ingredient. Directly from the Amazon Rainforest, this dark brownish-red resin turns into a white paste with an abundance of healing properties.

Ludy Hill, founder and CEO of Original World Beauty, stated:

"We are thrilled to launch our new face and body collection created with phytonutrients. We believe in the enormous importance of antioxidants and their crucial role in maintaining the health of our body and skin. Our products help the user move toward optimal skin through essential nutrients without any harmful additives, irritants, or fillers. We've tailored our formulas to suit all skin types, by using only non-comedogenic ingredients, ensuring that everyone can experience the transformative benefits of our products.”

About Original World Beauty:

Original World Beauty utilizes the advances of science and Earth’s raw materials to produce its skincare range. All their products are cruelty-free, handcrafted, and produced in small batches to ensure freshness and quality.

Media Contact:

Ludy Hill

LH@oxwbeauty.com

310-261-7276

[sniffanimal]

Bad news: my hematoma might take weeks to go away and the bruising has migrated to my sternum/collarbone? Weird

Good news: it's not getting worse, and I started scar therapy today which felt really good and I bought a special massaging tool that will also work for massaging my hematoma and probably getting knots out of people's shoulders too.

Any transmascs, particularly those on HRT or getting surgery: Dr DHT is a company founded by and for transmascs that sells hair growth/beard maintenance supplies and scar care supplies for post op chests. I can't speak to the efficacy of their products yet but I like supporting small trans run businesses and it was fairly affordable and fast shipping and I liked the feel of the salve I bought. Bonus points bc it didn't contain coconut oil (I'm allergic)

Their beard growth products (something I'm not interested in personally) are formulated to contain DHT, something that products like rogaine actively Block. Like your head hair needs to block DHT to grow but beard and other body hair needs DHT to grow so it's more effective than using normal hair growth medications? Idk I'm not a biologist or someone who wants luxurious facial hair but it might benefit you. Some reviews and some people in the study were pre-T and even had facial hair growth so hey if that's something you want! Check it out

[devilrosola]

5th Times a Charm

AO3 ~*~ Wattpad

Month of Mei

Mei and Yamuraiha meet after their respective Magical Centers merge.

Post Canon, Canon Compliant, Drabble, One Shot Rated G; 965 Words Yamuraiha, Ren Koumei

A tall, black pointy hat dipped forward as the head of Magnostadt bowed. It was a wonder that the metal ring around it didn’t cause it to fall off.

The owner of the hat dryly said, “A pleasure to meet you, I’m sure.”

She straightened up, squinting through the rising sun bombarding her retinas. Across from her, a man with a partial mask covered the rest of his face with a feathered fan. The corner of his mouth that could be seen remained curved downward. He bowed in similar fashion.

“Likewise. I’m sure pooling our resources will expedite our discoveries in magic.”

He sighed as he looked to the side at the workers arriving on transportation circles with equipment. This would have been much easier if he still had Dantalion. But then again, using his djinn was exhausting so personally for him, this way was actually easier.

She led him out of the courtyard and to her office. The windows were stuffed with scrolls, potion bottles and cloth, making the room much dimmer than outside, to both of their reliefs. Yamuraiha proceeded to inform Koumei of the current big projects as he browsed over her shelves.

Looking over her journals of research, he came across one of her older experiments for growing beards. It made him think of his brother. Curious, he inquired what use that could have had.

Yamuraiha explained, “Well it did come in handy when my King shaved his eyebrows the night before an important Council.” She let out a small giggle recalling the incident. True Sinbad and Ja’far’s eyebrows did grow a mile long, but it was a stimple trim to make them look normal after that.

Koumei blinked. “Eyebrows? But it’s labeled ‘beard magic.’”

“It affected hair and then eyebrows. I soon gave up after that. See, if  you look at the trial notes from this experiment to this one over here, you’ll see I took the XXX and made it VVV so logically, you would think if that change went from head to brow then converting it further to QQQ would stimulate growth on the chin…but it only went back to the head!”

She started sobbing in the frustration of her failure then caught herself. She covered her mouth as she remembered that extensive details like that is what makes guys uninterested in her. Not that she cared if he was interested in her. He was a prince of the Kou Empire. Or used to be. But he was still Kou and it was hard to forget the terrors they committed in the past.

However, Koumei grabbed the notes and took them to her desk. He laid them out and pointed to the various components of the circles as he theorized, “What if we were to take the ZZZ here and QRX it this way and adjust the NNN by YYY?”

What?!?! He wasn’t put off by her magic jargon? And he understood it? And contributed ideas of his own on top of that?! And the suggestions…made logical sense?! “Why didn’t I think of that?!”

“I have been overseeing magical research since I was 5,” he shrugged.

Yamuraiha pointed to a shelf of gigantic books. “I had those textbooks for advanced students over there as my bedtime stories at that age!”

“Two lines of study gives us two perspectives. That is why our institutes are joining after all.”

“I had abandoned this pursuit but…Oh! I just got to try it out!” She bit her lips and looked at Koumei shyly “...If you don’t mind me testing it out on you?”

“Go ahead. If it works out, I know of someone who could benefit from this.”

He was referring to his brother that would love to have a beard as flourishing as their late uncle. But Kouen could never stand the look of the in-between stage of growing it out, so it remained a neat little point on his chin.

Yamuraiha, however, was thinking how she could personally benefit from this finally working out. Little did she know what would rekindle inside her when the experiment worked.

Either the pride of finding the solution to the conundrum, or the mere sight of a beard on someone as versed in magic as she was. She covered her cheeks, hoping the cool touch of her fingers would tone down the heat radiating from her face.

Koumei stroked the long strands now hanging from his chin, inspecting the quality. “We should see if variables in the HHH and TTT  can alter the length.  Tweaking %%% may help with the coarseness.”

Suddenly finding this man attractive, she got nervous. Her mind went crazy and she couldn’t help herself as she reasoned, “I don’t think so. I’ve tried %%% with @@@ before but that resulted in ### on this other experiment for SSS where I YYY the DDD.” Now she’d done it! She panted heavily as her mind whirled over her most impressive calculations.

He set a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “Explain more on the DDD with the ###. We can save a lot of time on trial and error if you’ve already mastered the ZZZ of NNN. That can factor the TTT to WWW like a VVV.”

By now Yamuraiha was practically drooling as she grabbed a blank parchment and started scrawling on it with a quill. Big circle, little circles. Lots of runes and symbols. All the elements and commands lined up and she had to capture it before they shifted.

Koumei scratched his new beard, contemplating leaving Magnostadt’s head to her own devices as he left to trim it down. But maybe he’d save the trim until after a nap. Apparently growing hair is exhausting…or last night’s planning council finally caught up to him. Or his new colleague’s energy was just that draining.

[thegentlemansbeardblog]

The perfect beard length to make you more attractive…

Of all the things we have supposedly reached the peak of this year, #peakbeard is likely the first, now the first rays of spring sunshine made the luxuriously hirsute seem somewhat overdressed. But those men who ignored the harbingers of facial hair’s doom will be bristling with pride to learn that their beard has been proven to enhance their desirability to women and make them more appealing as a potential partner.

Researchers at the University of New South Wales in Australia found that female study subjects rated faces with heavy beards highest for parenting ability and healthiness, and as significantly more alluring than clean-shaven examples. But you don’t need to look like you live in the woods for a month to enjoy the visual benefits – heavy stubble was judged to be the most attractive of all the grades studied.

Which means that cutting the razor out of your mirror routine for a few days is enough to see some decent growth where it will really make a difference. After all, it’s unlikely that we’re going to reach ‘peak handsome’ any time soon.

#beardmen #bearded #beardedmenofinstagram #beardedmendoitbetter #beardstyle #beardgang #beard #mensgrooming #mensgroomingproducts #mensgroomingtips #thegentlemansbeard

[troglobite]

once again pls make no comments to me abt the shows i watch lol

ppl literally are so angry that the show is focusing on zava and shandy and these "awful" storylines abt rebecca's fertility & motherhood, and this "nonsense" w keeley and jack

and i'm just like

hey have you ever considered that these are fictionally real people with real lives who make and have plenty of relationships that don't fit within the core cast of a fucking sitcom?

and that season three is deliberately exploring that?

and using new characters as ways to introduce and explore different themes and areas of growth for the main cast?

have you ever considered that a show that is only 3 seasons and has had clear goals and plans FROM THE BEGINNING would be doing these things deliberately and that maybe you should just trust that they know what they're doing? bc this isn't a fucking show that dragged on for 15 unnecessary seasons--

it's a show that, like very few others, like the good place and gravity falls (bizarre to put those together and also w ted lasso lol), has planned its ending since it began.

i don't watch many interviews bc they're often Weird

but in one that i did watch, jason literally mentioned that jeremy's audition for higgins included him with a goatee, and at some point he found out that he played standup bass in a jazz band

and he went "perfect, that'll be perfect for higgins' storyline at the end of season 1"

like.

nothing in this show comes out of nowhere

this is all so clearly signposted.

like for example you wanna rag on rebecca for being "hung up" on rupert?

HE is hung up on HER.

season one AND two, and even NOW, everything he does is just to piss her off and try to make her retaliate.

i mean come the fuck on

he went and dated the youngest available woman he could find at the charity thing in episode FOUR of season one

they ended up dating and getting engaged

he used her to buy shares in richmond

when that didn't work, he fucking bought west ham

he stole nate, not because he actually believed in his ability to coach (though that was a bonus), but bc he saw him as a tool to use to HURT REBECCA AND TED AND EVERYBODY AT RICHMOND.

there is a scenario where, by doing this, he gets richmond back--which is what he wants, alongside hurting rebecca.

we just don't SEE it as much as we see REBECCA being "hung up" on it all, bc, y'know, HE'S NOT A MEMBER OF THE MAIN CAST. we don't get his pov!

rebecca's growth is counter to rupert's lack thereof. he's cheating--AGAIN. he got the youngest, prettiest woman--even NAMED rebecca. he decided to have kids. he bought a different football club. he should be thrilled. and instead he's cheating, bc that's just what he does. old habits.

rebecca is still trying to change. she's going through different phases, but she's trying to figure out what it is that SHE wants.

rupert just follows his first instinct, without fail, and doesn't really care abt anyone or anything else. manipulation to get it every time.

and that is. clear. from the beginning.

he's not just doing things and oh side benefit, it hurts rebecca.

he is doing things SPECIFICALLY TO HURT HER.

fuck idk why i got stuck on this tangent.

anyway the point being.

these ~pointless side characters~

someone literally said that the first 4 episodes "meant nothing/are pointless" now and i'm like ??? in what universe.

zava highlighted how out of touch ted is, beard's and roy's obsession w winning at any cost and also being out of touch in different ways, jamie's incredible growth and insight, and the vulnerability of the players on the team to be led easily astray or distracted by bright pretty things. it all culminates in ted tearing up the believe sign--he's right, and this will likely lead to him being More Involved, and as someone else suggested, possibly leaving back to kansas thinking it's what he wants, before returning and realizing he wants to be in england.

zava may also end up factoring into stories in other ways. his presence and now absence will have a lasting effect on how the players are evaluated, how the media reports on them, specifically colin's own difficulties with confidence, etc.

shandy, as well. her story is SO far from over, in my opinion. keeley has a lot to learn, and she wasn't able to teach just yet. shandy also (along w the lamb and shit thing) is sort of like--sometimes a cute face disguises a problem. i definitely think there's more, bc i can't put in a pin in shandy's story, yet. given that it happened in the same episode as keeley and jack, i'm interested to see where it goes. her think w the star fckr? like come on. she is ABSOLUTELY going to be involved in SOMETHING later in the season. for better or worse! it'll be compelling to see what happens, there.

but her presence wasn't "pointless", not least bc i don't think she's permanently gone.

oh also, zava was the catalyst for getting roy and jamie together to help train jamie even harder. that builds their relationship and jamie's confidence AND skill. it shows they both have commitment to this.

jack is the most intriguing! i hadn't thought abt it but someone mentioned that she might be jane's sister. which, i mean, their names ARE similar, and they look similar, it would make sense.

regardless, keeley isn't going to end up w jack--it would be odd for a latecomer to end up being part of a main cast member relationship.

HOWEVER this affords keeley some more opportunities for growth. had she KNOWN she was bi before this? was she a bisexual woman who hadn't really been w women much? it happens! it's common! straight men are just easier to find in a lot of cases, esp w the crowds she typically runs in, y'know?

and beyond that, how does keeley feel abt this? she's still hurt abt things w roy. she said as much. clearly this is a sort of rebound situation. it's nothing serious, but it is serious thematically and in terms of character development.

jack will be part of exploring what it means to be professional, finding her own identity as a businesswoman, finding her own identity in herself, leaning into that even more, exploring vulnerability and power dynamics. like it is RIPE with opportunities. and i do mean ripe.

also colin is so clearly not forgotten. keeley and roy are so clearly not forgotten (she literally wasn't able to talk abt him w jack! she said so!).

also how and why did jack know that keeley and jamie had dated, but not keeley and roy? SEE? THERE ARE MORE THINGS THERE TO BE TEASED APART AND SEE LATER IN THE SEASON.

and ted truly has felt detached from a lot of things.

also i can vouch for his persistent lack of detailed knowledge abt the rules of the game: i have watched figure skating my entire life, and i still cannot tell ANY steps apart. i can barely tell pattern dances apart. the best i can do is identify some spin positions and correct positions for jumps, and i had to study v hard to get that. even though i know the names of these things and have read rule books and watched for years--if someone like beard and roy were there for me and i could focu son some other shit. i simply would. ted DOES have knowledge of the game. it's just not the nitty gritty details. he's picked up plenty. knows positions and formations and strategy. but christ the offside rule is confusing and it's a funny running joke.

ANYWAY.

i agree w everyone that i need roy to unpack his anger issues. he's been toxic abt it for the whole show.

and i just KNOW something is going to come up and make him do a 180, bc it's a veneer for something else.

it'll be VERY interesting to see it teased apart.

but trent dropped his mug and EVEN BEARD WAS SHOCKED by what roy was describing.

and i mean, given their dynamic, it does feel partly like roy hamming it up for an audience.

at the same time, he's speaking from SOME kind of experience.

and we STILL don't know why he broke up with keeley and how that conversation went down.

i'm sure that'll come out in the next episode? truths unlocked for many? YES PLEASE. lol

anyway i find it incredible that on a show like this, ppl don't trust the writers to know what they're doing.

or on a show like this, ppl are annoyed and only focused on Ship Stuff.

meanwhile i feel confident that both ted and rebecca will end up single and in a different situation, and that'll be the healthy resolution they need in their stories. lol

for everyone, their fulfillment lies OUTSIDE of romantic relationships.

everyone's al jaw;efhalskdjf alsdkfj abt rebecca and keeley and them being "distracted" by relationships.

have we maybe considered that that's part of their journeys of self-discovery? that maybe they, as characters, are hung up on what it means to be single or in a relationship? to be alone? and that their stories right now and reckoning with those fears and needs and desires?

can they maybe be allowed to be complicated messy women who are BOTH in situations that put them under a LOT of pressure and misogyny? are they not allowed to like, actually cope w that in real fucking ways?

idfk man.

if the story feels real and honest to me, i sort of don't give a shit if it's ~perfectly feminist~

i'd rather have fictional women who feel real (it was established IN SEASON ONE that rebecca always wanted kids! that is a NORMAL AND COMMON THING for MANY people!) than fictional women who fit some bizarre perfect ideal of feminism

also unrelated to all of this but

if that IS a picture of trent crimm's daughter on his desk--

is she standing ALONE?

and if so--

[stares in GAY]

i'm just saying! she's SO YOUNG! at HIS age? and NO mention of ANY other parent?!

AAAAANNNNNDDDDDDD

in SEASON ONE ted was TALKING to her and PROMISED HER COOKIES!! AND DECORATED THEM FOR HER!!!!!!!

i'm just saying this all screams Extremely Gay Single Dad Energy and i LOVE it.

please, more gay little mugs and ways of standing and your old shoes and band and concert t-shirts and your fancy snazzy little jackets and your ~cool~ bag, trent crimm. thank you. lol

okay i need to rid myself of this brainrot. i need to stop engaging w shit online. lol it's not doing great things for my brain.

i regret beginning to read fanfic for this show, as well, even though there are some good writers. lol

but truly the amount of ppl convinced that ted and rebecca are endgame. and here i am like [stares in 'the rest of the show has not been building to that and i will eat my arm if it ends up being true']

*this is not a legally binding contract and i will not actually eat my arm if, SOMEHOW, it is true.

the only compelling "evidence" i've seen is apparently hannah liking a tweet that Implied Something abt it

and even then i'm like

please, actors LOOOOOVE liking tweets where they 1. don't understand the implications or context, or 2. get to engage w fun fan theories and shipping bc they like the characters, too, and it's fun.

//shrug.

idk

anyway.

fucking christ i need to sleep

[veshialles]

Do you have any recommendations about facial hair removal? I'm essentially cis but I have a wee beard that wigs out my sensory issues and it grows very fast. Feel free to ignore if you don't feel like getting into it though lol

Well, it largely depends on how dark the hairs are tbh!

I'm a brunette, so I was able to get laser treatments done. Basically, the technician uses a high-heat laser that targets the pigment in the hair to burn it off (which does sting a lot bc the face has so many nerve endings!! but only for a short while. Any technician worth their salt should have aloe vera on hand for immediate aftercare). Damaging the hair follicles in this way doesn't necessarily "stop" hair growth 100%, just slows it down significantly, and most hairs that do grow back will come in lighter and finer.

However, because the laser is targeting the pigment of the hairs, it tends to work best if you have both light skin and dark hair. If your hairs are too light blonde or grey there likely won't be enough pigment for the laser to target. And if your skin is on the darker side, that runs the risk of the laser targeting the pigment of your skin as well rather than just the hair, which could lead to burns and discolouration. ALSO, the smell of burned hair can be pretty nasty, speaking from experience (wearing my mask during all those long bus rides on the way back home was... unpleasant *wrinkles nose*)

Your other best bet for hair removal is electrolysis, which is considered a more permanent solution. I don't have any experience with it, but a dermatologist uses an epilator device to remove the hairs. (I'm really confused as to exactly how it works tho?? I thought it was like, electrically charged needles that stick into the follicle and zap it directly at the root, but wikipedia says it works more like waxing, plucking hair out from the root??)

but the principle is the same: damage the follicle to inhibit new hair growth, causing the old hairs to fall out. The benefit though is electrolysis isn't limited by hair colour or skin tone afaik, because it targets the root directly rather than the pigment in the hair.

Both treatments will more than likely require multiple sessions, which can get expensive! Temporary redness and irritation can result from both procedures, and pain is a factor as well (since there will be burning and/or plucking involved).

But yeah! That's the gist of it. Obviously I am no expert, so please do your research if hair removal is something you are considering! Hope I could help, friend! :)

[b2bbusiness]

The Growing UK Haircare Market: Trends, Challenges, and Opportunities

The UK haircare market has been experiencing significant growth over the past few years. With increasing consumer awareness about personal grooming and a rising interest in natural, sustainable products, the haircare industry in the UK has seen a surge in demand. The market is driven by various factors such as changing lifestyles, new product innovations, and a shift towards eco-friendly and organic options.

Market Overview

The UK haircare market is one of the largest in Europe, with consumers spending billions annually on products ranging from shampoos and conditioners to styling products, hair treatments, and colorants. In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend towards premium and specialized haircare products, as consumers seek solutions for specific hair concerns such as thinning, dryness, and scalp sensitivity.

Key Categories of the UK Haircare Market:

Shampoos and Conditioners: These remain the most purchased items in the haircare category. Many brands are now focusing on sulfate-free, silicone-free, and paraben-free formulas to cater to the growing demand for cleaner, more natural options.

Hair Colorants: With the rise of DIY hair coloring during the pandemic, the demand for at-home color kits has spiked. Consumers are looking for high-quality, long-lasting hair dyes, including ammonia-free and semi-permanent options.

Hair Styling Products: The styling segment, which includes gels, sprays, mousses, and creams, has seen growth driven by both professional salons and at-home users. Consumers are looking for products that offer styling versatility while protecting hair from heat and environmental damage.

Hair Treatments: Products such as hair masks, serums, and oils are gaining popularity as consumers look to treat specific concerns like damaged hair, split ends, or frizz.

Key Trends Shaping the UK Haircare Market

Sustainability and Clean Beauty: Environmental concerns have led to a growing preference for sustainable, eco-friendly products. Brands are responding by using recyclable packaging, reducing plastic use, and incorporating natural ingredients. Vegan and cruelty-free certifications are also becoming standard requirements for many UK consumers.

Personalization and Customization: Many brands are offering personalized haircare solutions, where consumers can create bespoke formulations based on their hair type and concerns. This trend reflects the growing demand for tailored products that address specific needs.

Natural and Organic Products: Consumers are increasingly aware of the ingredients in their haircare products. There is a rising demand for natural and organic options that avoid harsh chemicals and focus on ingredients like coconut oil, shea butter, and essential oils.

Diversity and Inclusivity: The UK’s diverse population has driven the need for haircare products that cater to various hair types, particularly curly, coily, and textured hair. More brands are creating products specifically designed for Afro-textured hair, which has been historically underserved in the market.

Men’s Grooming: Men are now paying more attention to haircare, driving demand for products targeted specifically at male consumers. Hair thickening shampoos, styling gels, and beard care products are just some of the items seeing increased interest in the men’s category.

Challenges in the UK Haircare Market

While the UK haircare market is growing, it is not without its challenges:

Intense Competition: The market is crowded with both established brands and new entrants, making it difficult for brands to stand out.

Price Sensitivity: Although there is a trend towards premium products, many consumers are still price-sensitive, especially with the current economic pressures.

Ingredient Transparency: Consumers are becoming more educated and expect brands to be transparent about their ingredient lists. Brands that do not clearly communicate the benefits and safety of their ingredients may lose consumer trust.

Opportunities for Growth

Despite these challenges, the UK haircare market presents several opportunities:

Digital Marketing and E-commerce: With the rise of online shopping, brands can leverage e-commerce platforms to reach a wider audience. Social media influencers and online reviews play a critical role in shaping consumer preferences in this space.

Innovation in Haircare Technology: Brands that innovate with new technologies, such as hair diagnostics or AI-powered personalization, are likely to capture the interest of tech-savvy consumers.

Expansion into Niche Markets: Focusing on specific consumer needs, such as hair growth products, anti-aging haircare, or specialized products for curly and textured hair, can help brands carve out a unique space in the market.

For more insights on the UK haircare market forecast, download a free report sample