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lovebombs4life · 1 year

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"Why should I wear anything at all if you're going to tear it off?" With Luke PLEASE

beach day - l.r.h

a/n: thank you for the request anon! on a different note, i got my lip pierced yesterday and holy shit does it hurt like a bitch.

cw: SMUT SMUT SMUT. contains content for audiences 18+. includes swearing, slight choking, praise, dom!luke, fem!reader, oral (m), p in v sex.

NOT PROOF READ

MINORS DNI. 18+!!!!

———

the hot summer sun beat down on all of us sitting on the beach. as much as i loved the summer and being at the beach, i did not want to be here when it was hotter than hell.

ashton could’ve chosen any other day of the year to go to the beach but no, we all had to go today on the hottest day of the year. not to mention that luke looked incredibly sexy, as per usual, but with the sun shining down on him, he looked good enough to eat.

i sat in my beach towel, still wearing my long cover up shirt. i finally threw it off, grabbing my bottle of sunscreen. luke had been in the middle of laying out his towel, and i could hear him take a deep breathe as i threw my shirt to the side.

you’d think after dating for five years he’d be used to seeing me in a swimsuit, but everyday with him feels like the first.

he sat down on his towel before laying down on his stomach. i had to clench my thighs together seeing him like that. what can i say, im a whore for his back muscles. plus, you could still see some of the light scratch marks i had left on him the other day.

i put my head down in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. i needed to get my head out of that space before i tried climbing on him then and there.

“you alright, y/n/n?” luke questioned with his head turned towards me. i nodded quickly and smiled at him. “of course! just really hot out.” i reassured him.

he smiled as he sat up to face me. “are you sure darling? seems like theirs something on your mind?” he pressed with a smirk on his face. my mind was screaming at me to give in to him and tell him already that i just wanted to go home and fuck him, but i wanted to do some teasing too.

i nodded my head again, standing up to go to the water where most of our friends already were. “hey y/n! nice of you to join us!” crystal teased me.

“oh shush. luke is being kind of a pain.” i said lowly. she raised her eyebrow, indicating she wanted to know more. i glanced back at luke, seeing that he was walking over to the group to hangout with the boys.

“he knows he has an affect on me of course. after five years we still act like we’ve never touched each other, and like we’re starved for touch.” i explained.

“ohhhh, okay so you’re horny and he knows but you don’t want to do anything cause we’re in public?” she questioned louder than i had hoped.

“shush! i don’t need everyone in the damn beach hearing, crystal!” i panicked. she threw her head back laughing, thinking it was hilarious. i rolled my eyes at her.

“you’re lucky i don’t push you into the water.” i spoke. she kept giggling as we made our way to the boys who had been splashing at each other.

calum was wrestling with michael as luke and ash just watched, laughing their asses off. i stood back a few feet so i wouldn’t get drenched. but of course, things couldn’t go my way. luke grabbed me quickly before running farther into the water and dropping me in.

when i resurfaced he was running away to go back to the sand. “you’re not getting away with this!” i yelled at him, swimming back to the land. i chased after him, holding down my chest as i did so. i knew as it is, my ass was almost completely showing as my bottoms had wedged their way up.

he had turned around and ran back to our towels, and i followed behind him. he had finally stopped and sat on the towels, catching his breath. “i couldn’t take running anymore, especially seeing how sexy you look in that bikini.” he whispered in my ear, grabbing my thigh. i giggled a bit.

“want to make an excuse to get out of here?” i questioned. his eyes widened, not thinking i was serious. “really? what would we even say?” he asked. i shrugged.

“say that my ankle started to hurt after running after you.” i shrugged. he nodded and stood up to tell our friends we’d be leaving. i started throwing our things in our beach bag. when luke returned he grabbed my swimsuit coverup and handed it to me. “why’d you give this to me? could’ve thrown it in the bag.” i told him.

“i just thought you’d want to get covered before walking back to the car.” he explained. i got closer to him, grazing his ear with my lips.

“why should i wear anything at all if you’re going to tear it off?” i teased. he threw his head back slightly, groaning quietly. i smirked, knowing i was in for it.

we walked back to the car quickly, throwing our things in the trunk. i settled myself into the passenger seat as luke started the car. immediately his hand was trailing up my thigh. i shuddered as he grew closer to my heat.

“nothing to say now that we’re alone? not gonna be a tease?” he taunted. i shook my head quickly, hoping he’d go further. “use your words, darling.”

“no, nothing to say, just want you.” i breathed out as he started to rub me through my swimsuit. i looked over at him, seeing his hand gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. i could see the veins in his hand, wishing those gorgeous things were wrapped around my throat.

i shifted my legs so he could have more access from where he was. just as i thought it was going to go further, he pulled his hand away. i whined at the loss of contact. “no whining baby, just a few more minutes then we’re home.” he comforted.

i wasn’t one to listen, and whined again anyway. “do that again and you won’t cum for a week.” he spoke sternly this time. my eyes went wide, and i went quiet.

“yeah that shut you up real quick, is that right my sweet girl.” he praised. “yes.” i spoke softly. “yes? yes what baby?” he asked.

“yes sir.” i groaned. his smirk grew wide. we pulled into the driveway, scrambling to get out of the car. once at the front door, like quickly unlocked the door before throwing his keys on the side table. he pressed me to the door, holding my hips.

he went at my neck, licking and sucking lightly. i threw my head back at the feeling. he trailed his fingers down my waist, pulling my bikini bottoms down painfully slow. “please, please don’t tease lu.” i begged.

he lifted his head from my neck, looking down at me with a dark smile. “such a good girl for me. didn’t even ask you to beg.” he kissed me softly. once he pulled away, he pulled my bottoms from my legs, and went to untying my top.

his hips pinned me to the door, allowing me to feel how hard he was. “please luke, please no teasing baby i just need you, i want to make you feel good.” i pleaded. he let out a deep breath, squeezing my breasts as he threw my top on the floor.

i moved my hands down to the draw string of his swim trunks, untying it quickly. “want you so bad.” i said, lowering to my knees as i drug his shorts down his legs. his dick sprung out, the tip leaking with pre-cum. he stepped from his shorts kicking them to the side.

i grabbed his length, kitten licking the tip. i watched him through my lashes, seeing him throwing his head back. his hands found their way into my hair, gripping on to me. “feels so good, fuck, such a good girl.” he spoke, thrusting his hips forward a bit.

i gagged as his dick went down my throat. i breathed in, shoving him as far as i could take him. as i did so, he let out a loud moan. i pulled back from him, still pumping him. saliva hung from my lip as i smiled up at him.

“taste so good sir, love making you feel good, love your moans.” i breathed. he put a hand against my throat, squeezing slightly.

i moaned at the pressure and let one of my hands fall down to my dripping heat. before i could get any further, he helped me stand up, and lifted me up, bringing me to our bedroom.

he laid me down, rubbing his hands up and down my body. “so beautiful, darling.” he praised, kissing my body.

he spread my thighs, licking close to my clit. i moaned as he ran his fingers against my slit. i pushed my hips forward, allowing his fingers to slip in slightly. he held my hips down with his other hand.

“just wanna taste you a bit, get you ready for me.” he spoke, looking up at me from between my thighs. i shook my head fast. “just want you, don’t need you to get me ready. already so wet for you, sir, just need your cock.” i begged.

he groaned, grabbing his dick and sliding it against my entrance. he pushed in slowly, causing me to moan loudly. “doing so good for me, begging and being such a little slut for my cock.” he spoke, sucking on one of my tits.

his pace quickened, causing my eyes to roll back. “fuck, y/n, feel so fucking good. so wet, so tight, ugh, think youd be used to my cock already after fucking you so good.” he moaned. i let out a high pitched sound as he grabbed my thighs hard, pounding into me.

“oh fuck, i- gotta, ohh, gotta cum sir.” i moaned, trying to keep my composure. he forcefully snapped his hips into me, dragging one hand down to my clit, rubbing quick circles.

i let out a pornographic sound as he slammed into me. i clenched around him, my breathing becoming shorter. “go on baby, come on. cum for me, my sweet girl.” he encouraged, squeezing my throat.

i felt him twitch inside me, knowing he was close too. i kept clenching against him, letting my thighs shake as i moaned from the pleasure. his hips started stuttering, but kept his pace.

“fucking hell, oh shit!” he spoke as i felt his cum paint my walls. he pulled out, letting his fingers collect mine and his cum. he brought his fingers to my lips, and i opened for him, sucking everything off his fingers.

he sighed, taking in the sight. removing his fingers from me, luke laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “god you’re perfect, y/n.” he spoke, pressing a kiss to my head.

“i suggest that you never wear a shirt ever again and just let me look at your back muscles.” i laughed.

“yeah? maybe i will if this is what the end result will be.”

#5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagines #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #5sos5 #5sos #luke 5sos #luke hemmings smut #michael 5sos #calum 5sos #ashton 5sos #5sos fanfic #the 5sos show tour #requested

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littledrummeraussie · 11 months

Text

tell me all the things that you couldn't before.

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist?

warnings: brief mentions of sex. a nightmare. hurt/comfort. lots of loving for Ashton. badboy!mechanic!Ashton AU.

word count: 5435

author’s note: This fic was written back in January, 2020, as part of the infamous A Permanent Chase fic, which I'm not sure will ever see the light of day as it only lives in my head and my heart.

The original concept is the following (to help you understand the fic better):

Ashton (in the beginning appearing as Fletcher) comes back to Sydney, where he starts working at Calum's garage as a mechanic. Shortly after this he meets our girl and starts to pursue her. They do start dating, but after some complications happen, and she finds out Fletcher is not the person he tells people he is, but someone else (Ashton), and she quickly breaks things up between them.

What she doesn't realize is that she and Ashton have met before, just after graduation at a beach party, where they fell in love for a night, but never saw each other again. Ashton does recognize the girl, but she doesn't recognize him for a long time, until finally Ashton does tell her the truth about their past.

The story is a mess - the original idea included gangs and street racing in which Ashton also partakes, lots of chasing after the girl in different places and scenarios, who eventually starts to put together how Ashton really loves her and actually wants to protect her from things happening around the city. (This is a huge reason why I never really worked on the story - I couldn't decide on anything, so it's just a big mess.)

They eventually make up and finally kiss at another beach party (full circle), and decide that they want to start a relationship with each other. There are lot of added stories to them in my mind, all of them following the main story above.

I also realized over the years that in some ways they are kinda toxic, but I cannot help it, I love my babies so much. So if you have any additional questions, please feel free to ask them.

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

-----

It was well past midnight when you realized that there was something out of the ordinary. At first everything seemed to be normal, your night started like any other: you stopped by the garage after work, parking your car just outside the building and greeted the boys who were still working there. You’ve convinced Ashton to finish early, making Calum close up for the night, and dragged your boyfriend up the stairs to his flat.

He was in a really good mood, and with a cheeky grin he pulled you into the shower with himself. His hands were searching and grabbing at whatever body parts they could reach, and after he’d promised you the best fuck of your life, Ashton picked you up to cross the tiny apartment to his bedroom, where he made good on his promise. You were lying in a tangled mass afterwards, watching the last rays of sunshine peeking through the window, painting Sydney in the most beautiful shades of pink, orange and yellow.

You were ready to make some dinner, but Ashton preferred cuddle time, and held you close to his side while he ordered Thai food from one of his favourite places. You spent the time kissing and talking about your day until the guy arrived with your order, and you ate in comfortable silence in the kitchen, playing footsie all through dinner. Usually this was the time when you went out to have fun around town, or just lay on the couch, watching the TV mindlessly, but the last few weeks have been different.

Since you’ve decided to take up some courses to help you with your work, it meant that eventually you needed to take exams on them as well. You had your doubts when you first approached Ash with the idea, but he was supportive, and in his own way, he helped you with your studying and papers. It usually meant buying you coffee or letting you rant about your problems – or ordering food when he thought you could use the extra time. And his apartment was much quieter than your noisy neighbourhood. He did not mind you staying over if it meant cuddles, food sharing and sex – all three of those happened regularly, so he did not complain.

You have already started revising notes when Ashton came up to you and gave a kiss on your neck. You leaned back against his chest, looking up at him with a smile.

“You’re going to bed?”

“Yeah, I promised Calum that I will open in the morning, since someone decided to drag me away early,” he leaned forward to press another kiss on your forehead, his red locks falling over your face. “And I don’t want to keep you away from your notes and books, which are clearly more interesting than your own boyfriend.”

“How tragic,” you laughed, turning around on the kitchen chair to wrap your arms around him. “Please file a complaint, and I will talk to the management.”

“And what will I get as a consolation prize?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Blowjobs.”

“Oh, plural? That doesn’t sound so bad,” Ashton grinned at you, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “When can I start collecting them?”

“You know how offices work – it might take a few weeks to get an answer,” you bit your lip to hide a smile, and Ash just huffed at you.

“If it was up to you, I wouldn’t get my blowjobs for the next 30 days or so,” his fingers found a way into your tied up hair, slowly pulling out strands and combing them back into an even messier bun. “Any way to file a complaint about filing complaints?”

“I might know someone who can help you,” you tilted your head forward, pressing a small kiss on the skin of his stomach, then quickly blew a raspberry on it. “But only during opening hours.”

“You are terrible,” he laughed, grabbing your face and pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your lips. “Alright, I’ll leave you to your notes.”

“Don’t hog the blankets,” you poked his side, and Ash laughed again, pushing your hand away. “Good night, Cardinal.”

“Is that a joke on my hair?”

“You tell me,” you winked at him, and he leaned back to give you another kiss.

“Good night, you monster.”

* * *

You knew something was up when you heard noises from the bedroom. The flat was really small, with no actual doors between the bedroom, the living area and the kitchen, and at first you thought the all-nighters you pulled would bother Ashton and he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the light on in the kitchen. But he was a heavy sleeper, still and calm, and the only thing that ever broke the silence was his light snoring. But not tonight.

The first thing you heard were the rustling sheets, a pillow thumping down onto the floor, the bed creaking under his weight. There was a loud gasp, more rustling, something hitting the nightstand or the bed frame, then another loud thump on the mattress. More gasps, more heavy breathing – you could hear the panic in the way he was trying to catch his breath, choking on air, like he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.

You pushed yourself out of the chair, running to the small bedroom to check on Ashton. He was tangled up in the sheets, body twisting around as he tried to kick off the covers, thrashing in his blanket prison. His arms were swinging, trying to grab onto something (or someone), hitting the pillows and the bed with every move. He pushed his head back into the pillow, turning it left and right as he was panting, his Adam’s apple moving almost in a frantic, panicked way.

He was no stranger to nightmares – when he was exhausted or just had a bad day, he would go to bed early, resting his head on your stomach, hugging your body close to him like a pillow, and that usually did the trick. He slept soundly and without interruption. But sometimes he was just so lost in his own head that he forgot about it all, not caring about the dreams sneaking into his sleepy mind, and he usually woke with a start in the middle of the night. He would curl his body around yours, telling you that he’s okay, he just had a bad dream, he will fall back to sleep soon – he only ever asked you to hold his hand during these moments.

But tonight was different, Ashton never had a nightmare like this, one that physically shook him. He was fighting so hard to wake up, but nothing seemed to work. You dropped onto the mattress, climbing closer, and grabbed him by his shoulders, shaking him with all the strength that you had.

“Ashton! Ashton, wake up! Ash! Wake up!”

Suddenly he bolted up, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and taking in a lungful of air, making himself dizzy in the process. You shifted closer, climbing between his legs, and wrapped your arms around his trembling body. You held him close, running your fingers over his back, murmuring soft words into his ear as he buried his face in your neck, taking deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart.

“I’m here, Ash, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He locked his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, never loosening his grip on you. You ran your hand up to his shoulder, lightly massaging his tense muscles, caressing his neck, brushing your fingers over his hair. His skin was cold and sweaty, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His breathing was slowing, and you moved your head to press a small kiss on his temple. He tensed for a second, but then melted into your arms once again.

“It’s alright,” you whispered, still stroking the red locks at the back of his head. “It’s over. It was just a dream, it’s over. I’m here. You’re awake. It’s okay.”

His breath was hot on your neck as he inhaled deeply, nuzzling his face back into your skin. His muscles were slowly relaxing, but he was still tense and sweaty, and a shiver ran through his body. He tried to burrow closer to get more of your warmth, and you let him stay in your arms like this for a few more minutes. When you could feel he was a bit more relaxed, you pulled back a little, lifting his head up to look at you. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and it took him a few seconds to get out of his daze.

Ashton’s gaze skipped over yours, instead focusing on the chain hanging from your neck. The silver ring he gave you almost a year ago was hooked on a thin necklace, the weight of the metal resting between your breasts, a comfort you never knew you needed. You still remembered the time when he wore it on his finger, playing with it whenever he started getting nervous. He called it a good luck charm, something he desperately needed while he was chasing after you. But once he got hold of your heart, he gave it to you – since then it became something much more than just a piece of jewellery. For you: a reminder; for others: a warning.

His clumsy fingers wrapped around the ring, slightly tugging on it. You slowly tilted his head up again, trying to catch his eyes. His hazel ones finally found your gaze, and you gave him a small smile, lightly running your fingers over his stubbly jaw.

“Hey, you’re okay?”

Silence, then a nod.

“How about you go and take a shower? Get warmed up,” you rubbed his arms, trying to warm his still cold skin. “And I will change the sheets.”

Another nod.

Ash let go of your necklace, slowly peeling himself out of the bed, starting to go to the bathroom, then stopped, looked back at you. You gave him another encouraging smile, nodded at him that it’s okay, you both will be fine, after which he finally made his way out of the room. When the lock clicked and the shower started up, you let out a breath you were holding back. A thousand questions were running through your mind, but you didn’t want to take too much time thinking about them. You wanted to make sure Ashton was comfortable after his nightmare, that he can come back and relax into the bed, wrapped in your arms, and sleep off this horrible experience.

You started stripping off the sweat soaked sheets, pulling out a fresh set from the drawer, working methodically in changing them. After that you opened the window, letting in fresh air, the slight breeze clearing away the remaining shadows from the room. You reached into another drawer, choosing a soft pair of sweatpants for Ashton, and finally went to the kitchen, making tea, waiting for him to finish up.

The lock on the bathroom door clicked, and it opened with a slight squeak. Ash stood behind the door, a towel wrapped around his waist, water dripping on the tiles from his red hair. You stepped to him, holding the pants out for him. He took them from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours as he did, and that made him look at you.

“I made you tea,” you nodded towards the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. “If you want some.”

“Thanks,” his voice was quiet and small, and he coughed a little to make his throat work. “I– I’ll be there.”

“Take your time.”

You stepped back to the kitchen, piling up your books and notes to shove them to the corner of the table. You knew there was no way you would go back to studying, not tonight. Any exam could wait – Ashton needed you now.

After a few more minutes he emerged from the bathroom, shuffling to the kitchen, and dropped down onto the chair next to you. He sighed deeply, then leaned forward, resting both his arms on the table, and put his head down on them, hiding his face. You watched him, how his back moved as he was breathing in and out. His muscles were still tense, you could see it from the way he was holding himself. You scooted a bit closer, and slowly put your hand on his elbow, a tentative touch. When he did not flinch away, you started to lightly rub his arm, up to his shoulder, down on his back, then back up again.

When you reached the back of his neck, Ash moved his head to the side, looking at you as you stroked his drying locks with your fingers. His hazel eyes were searching you as you were working through the tangled ends, brushing them back from his face. He let out another small sigh when you touched his face, caressing his cheek, which made him nuzzle into your hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, resting your hand back on his arm.

Ashton looked at you for another second, then hid his face back in the crook of his elbow. You waited for him, you knew he needed time to work through the thoughts in his head, to decide if he wanted to face them again. He slowly pushed himself up, reaching for the mug in front of him, taking a sip of his cooling tea. His fingers were running over the rim, circling it mindlessly as he focused on something in front of him.

“You… left me.”

There was silence in the kitchen – his words left you speechless. It sounded silly at first; you knew how you felt about him, how first his attention was unusual, almost uncomfortable at times, and that you wished he would give you just an ounce of space; how you started to miss him when he wasn’t around, how you watched over your shoulder if he would appear somehow, stalk behind you, keeping his distance, but never taking his eyes off of you. You knew he had his reasons to do so, and you learned to love him for that – it wasn’t so hard, he found a way to your heart, and you willingly let him in. You never wanted to let go of him ever again.

“I have no intention in doing that,” you reached out to take his hand in yours, squeezing it. “And no reason.”

“But what if you do?” he whispered, pulling his hand away. “What if you find one?”

“Ash… is this something you’ve been… thinking about lately?” you asked softly, your fingers going up to your necklace, running them over the ring.

He did not answer; his eyes were still trained on the same spot as before. He was drumming on the tabletop, the rhythm getting more and more frantic and complicated. You desperately wanted to reach out and stop him, to make him look at you, to let him know you were there, you were listening, that you wanted to understand. But it seemed he was lost in his own thoughts – thoughts that brought out a nightmare that clearly shook him to the core.

“Ashton,” you said in a small voice. “Don’t push me away. Please.”

Those words made him look at you. Those words were his words, begging you to give him another chance, to make up for the mistakes he made when you met again. They were Ashton’s words, not Fletcher’s; they made you stop in your tracks, made you listen to him. They broke you in a way you’ve known you will never be broken again. That was the first time you’ve really let him into your heart, and you never wanted him to leave.

Ash sighed deeply, slowly turning around in his chair to face you, though his head was down. His fingers nervously twitched in his lap, and he started wringing his hands, looking for the rings he usually wore to play with. He once told you that sometimes he felt naked without them, and he liked wearing at least one to mindlessly spin it around, or take it off and put it back on. You moved a little closer, pushing your knees against his, slowing down his bouncing feet. Leaning forward you reached for him, pushing your fingers between his tightly clasped ones, and interlocked them. There was a slight shake to his hands, and you gently ran your thumb over his skin, trying to calm him again.

“I’m sorry,” he finally breathed, slowly looking up at you from under his lashes. “I’m just… unsure.”

“Of me?” you tilted your head to the side, trying to see all of him. He just shook his head.

“Of myself,” Ashton answered, rubbing your hands with his thumbs. “If I’m good enough for you.”

“Of course you are,” you squeezed his fingers in yours, pushing your forehead against his. “You are my Ashton. How could you not be good enough for me?”

“That’s not what everyone else thinks,” he said with a humourless laugh. “People talk, all over town.”

“Some neighbourhood gossip won’t make me leave you,” you shook your head. “What could they tell me that I don’t already know? I know you, Ash, I know who you are.”

“You have the heart of an angel, and I’m the devil who’s holding you back,” he whispered, tilting his head down.

“Maybe I’ve had enough of heaven,” your hand went to his jaw, slowly tipping his chin up to look back at you. “If hell is where you are, then I’m packing all of my bags to be with you.”

“Y/N…”

“Or maybe they have it the wrong way around,” you continued. “Cause you definitely feel like heaven to me. Maybe it’s not their definition of the place. But screw them – my heaven is all tattooed up and gorgeous.”

A blush coloured his cheek, and he moved closer to rest his forehead on your shoulder, his legs bracketing yours. You were tangled up in each other, silently sitting in the kitchen for a few minutes, Ashton’s hand on your thighs while you played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Then he slowly pulled back, rubbing his eyes – was it tears, or sleep, you didn’t know – and looked back at you again.

“Your parents still hate me,” he added, resting his elbow on the table, leaning his head against his hand.

“They hate everyone,” you answered with a shrug. “They even hate me. That’s not an accomplishment.”

“I’m sure they would prefer anyone else over me,” he searched you with his eyes. “Someone who can give you a real future.”

“What do you think, what does a girl need?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, and it was his turn to shrug.

“Financial security?” he asked, and when you rolled your eyes at him, he continued. “Someone like that guy you work with – what’s his name? Liam?”

“A suit and tie?” you shook your head, putting your hands on his knees to lean closer. “Really, Ash? When I can have you, your jackets and chains, and the fire red Mustang? Well, tough luck, because you’re stuck with me for good.”

“But am I enough for you?” Ashton sighed, reaching for you and holding your face in his hands, making you really look at each other. “I wanna give you the world. Hell, I wanna give you the galaxy. The universe. But I’m just this guy, fixing cars and running my mouth at people. And you… you’re smart and beautiful and could get anyone you set your eyes on.”

“And that’s you,” you nuzzled your face against his hand, looking at him pleadingly. “You’re the only one I want.”

“What if Liam asked you on a date? Or one of the guys at that course? What if you get along so much that you realize that you could just… do better than me?” his gaze slipped down to the ring resting against your chest, saying the next words looking at it. “You know I would do anything for you… but I know I can’t keep you forever.”

“Ash, how long have we known each other?” you asked, reaching for him, brushing his hair behind his ear.

“7 or 8 years. Dunno. Why is that important now?” he sighed, shaking his head.

“What do you think… how many guys did I date during that time?” you questioned him, but did not wait for an answer. “Only two. And you wanna know their names?”

“Please don’t kick me when I’m already down,” he whispered, but you’ve had enough.

“They are Fletcher and Ashton. They are you, Ash. I might have had a few flings and one night stands, and sure, I went on a few dates with guys. But it was only ever you I had a real thing with. It was only you who was ever good enough for me.”

“Then why did you even go on those dates if you didn’t want anything from them?” the question left Ashton before he could stop himself, and you could see him flinch when he realized what he’d said.

“I wanted to know how I felt about other people. I wanted to give myself a chance, see how we could work out. You know – if you never try, you’ll never know,” you shrugged a little while reaching for his hand, slowly interlocking your fingers with his. “And I– I think I wanted to know how you would react.”

“Remember the hole in the wall?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, and you needed to stifle a laugh.

“I was always waiting for you to show up during your dates,” you confessed, squeezing his hand in yours. “You know, just crash them. I wanted you to crash them. I know it took me a long time to let you in…”

“Well, half the time you were mad at me,” he said, leaning closer and resting his forehead against yours. “For one reason, or the other.”

“And in the other half I desperately wanted you to kiss me,” you finished, nuzzling your nose to his.

“You know I would have done it in a second,” he breathed. “I wanted to walk up to every single one of those guys and tell them that you’re… that you’re…”

“Come on,” you whispered, licking your lips. “Say it.”

“Mine.”

“Don’t think I was never asked on dates at my job or at school,” you gazed at him while saying the next part. “I was, numerous times. You know what I say to them when they call me pretty? Thank you, my boyfriend thinks so too. Or when they invite me for coffee? Thanks, but Ash is already bringing me some. And when they don’t want to let it go, I say: trust me, you do not want to meet him.”

“Are you really saying those things?” he asked you, and you nodded.

“I’m also implying that I’m having the best sex of my life, and I don’t plan on giving up on that,” you finished with a smile.

A moment later Ashton started laughing – it was his first real laugh of the night, and he hid his face, trying to stifle his giggles. It was the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Suddenly the night wasn’t that dark, but instead everything seemed to start to glow a little bit. It was Ashton’s smile, shining through the blacks, dark blues and grays of the night, warming up the chilling air around you, shifting everything back to your usual teasing, but loving normal, the one you’ve built up together.

“I love your smile,” you whispered when he finally looked back at you, still trying to catch his breath. “I know I’ve always told you that you should wipe that grin off of your face, but god, I’m happy you never did. I just… there are so many things I just love about you that I’ve thought I hated before. Like your snake tattoo, or your loud car and obnoxious sunglasses… your terrible jokes and sexual innuendos, and how you never fail to say them at the worst times… I love your stupid red hair, and…”

“My hair is not stupid,” Ash mumbled, a smile still playing at the corner of his mouth.

“No,” you shook your head, reaching once again for him to brush your fingers through his red locks. “No, it’s not.”

Ash nuzzled closer, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy the caresses and light tugs on his hair, making a small noise that almost sounded like purring. He turned his head, brushing his lips against your wrist as you wrapped a curl around your finger, pushing it behind his ear, stroking your hand down his cheek and jaw. Hazel eyes followed the movement of your fingers until you ran your thumb over his chin, and his gaze finally found yours.

“Can I kiss you?” you asked him softly, pulling back a little to see his face.

“Are you asking for permission?” there was another small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and a slight blush coloured his cheeks.

“Just checking if you are in the right headspace,” you returned his smile, and he nodded shortly.

“I would love that.”

Without a second thought you leaned forward, one of your hands sliding up the back of his neck and into his hair, the other one cradling his jaw, tilting his head a little to the side. His breath was hot on your face as you moved closer, cheeks and noses brushing, lips slowly pressing against each other – one soft, the other slightly chapped. You kissed his bottom lip, moving to the top, nuzzling closer and closer, until he opened his mouth and let you kiss him deeper, brushing his tongue against yours as you both tasted the other. Ash made a needy little sound as you nipped on his lips and kissed his chin, his jaw, brushing against his cheek as you nudged your nose against the soft skin behind his ear.

“I chose you, Ashton. I’ve been choosing you every single day since that night on the beach, and I’ll do it as long as you let me. I’m freakin’ in love with you if that hasn't been clear before,” you breathed softly, kissing the shell of his ear. “You’ve been on my mind for the last 8 years, and if that’s not love, then you have to find a better word for me, because I’m failing here, and you know I’m good with words. But you just have this effect on you where I completely lose my sanity, and I would gladly give up on it forever, if it meant I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Ash reached for you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you out of your chair, and sitting you on his lap. His hand rested on your thigh, keeping you close to his body, as his fingers ran through your hair, guiding your face to his again. It was his turn to kiss you, and he started with the softest of touches, just to feel each other’s breath on your lips, the warmness of the other’s skin, the shiver running through you when you’ve finally lost your patience. Noses and lips pushed together, and he kissed you deeply, tongue brushing against yours as you were holding onto his shoulders. His scent clouded your mind, his touch burnt your skin, and you never wanted this moment to end.

“I love you,” Ash pulled away just enough to brush his lips against yours as he spoke. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You pressed another kiss on his temple, cuddling closer in his lap to feel as much of his skin as you could. His arms wrapped around you more strongly, and he rested his head on your shoulder, pushing his face into your neck. For a few minutes you’ve stayed like this – slow caresses on waists and backs, fingers brushing over hair and tattoos, lips leaving small kisses wherever they could.

“Come on,” you ran your thumb over Ashton’s cheek. “I think it’s time we go back to bed.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to keep you away from your studying,” he started apologizing, but you shook your head, smiling at him.

“Screw exams. You’ll always be my first priority,” you tugged a little on his hair, tilting his head up towards you. “How does that sound to you?”

“Like something I’ve always wanted from you,” Ash returned your smile, then reached for your hand to kiss your knuckles. “Thank you, beautiful.”

You climbed down from his lap and reached for him to pull him up from the chair. You made our way back to the bedroom where the sheets were freshly changed and the pillows fluffed up just as Ashton liked it. He hesitated for a moment – the nightmare was still fresh in his mind, and even after you’ve talked through everything, he was still a little bit shaken from it.

“It’s alright,” you leaned against his side, pressing a kiss on the tattoo on his arm. “I’m here now.”

“I’m– scared to fall back to sleep,” he admitted, then sighed deeply. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“No, Ash. It’s perfectly normal,” you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Don’t ever feel ashamed, especially not because of your dreams. You’re human, it’s okay to fall sometimes. I’ll always be here to pick you up.”

“How did I get so lucky?” he turned to you, gathering you in his arms for a hug, resting his head on top of yours.

“Must have been that lucky charm of yours,” you answered with a smile, feeling the ring resting between your bodies.

“You are my lucky charm,” Ashton whispered, brushing the hair back from your face.

“Well, then you should definitely hold onto me.”

He huffed at you with a smile, shaking his head. You pulled him down on the bed, both of you getting comfortable under the blankets – Ash scooted as close to you as he could, nuzzling his face between your head and shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, letting him rest his weight on you, running your fingers through his hair.

“You smell so good,” he mumbled against your skin, pushing his nose to your pulse point. “Am I not too heavy?”

“You’re perfect where you are,” you continued brushing your fingers over his curls, skimming them over the back of his neck, down his shoulders, then back up again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like maybe I will be able to fall asleep,” he breathed, then reached for the ring hanging from your neck. “Is it okay if I stay like this?”

“Your peace of mind is worth every numb limb and hours spent awake,” you kissed his forehead, then the hand holding onto the ring. “You would do the same for me. And just so you know, you make an excellent pillow.”

“You too,” he closed his eyes, resting his hand back on your side, cuddling close. “Will you… will you hold my hand? Please?”

Without another word you slid your fingers against his, interlocking them. He squeezed your hand in return, letting out one last sigh as he slowly let go of all the tension that kept him awake. His body melted against yours, muscles relaxing as his breathing evened out, and in a few minutes all you could feel was his light snoring tickling your neck. You brushed your fingers through his hair again, pressing one last goodnight kiss on his forehead before resting back against your pillows.

Ashton slept soundly in your arms, head resting on your shoulder, arm thrown over your waist, fingers interlocked on the bed. He fit perfectly against you, his weight all the comfort you needed in your life. You would have stayed up all night just to make sure he had no more nightmares, but his soft sleepy sounds slowly lulled you to sleep too. The last thing you remembered was his lips brushing against your neck as he shuffled in his sleep, and you fell asleep with a smile on your face. You knew for sure he was your forever – and you planned on reminding him of that every single day for the rest of your lives. Even if it meant chasing away his nightmares every night. Because he was worth it.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfic #afic: a permanent chase #series: a permanent chase #ashton irwin fanfiction #fiction time

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kiwiana-writes · 4 months

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VoiceTeam Submissions by Kiwiana: Round Two

I recorded less podfic for @voiceteam round two than one would generally expect, but that's because I threw myself into the mod dare with gusto. The mod dares each round aren't worth points (though submissions you make to meet the mod dare get all their USUAL points), but they are a fun challenge and a real blast to pull together with your team. This round's dare was: I dare [each team] to complete all ten Round 2 challenges using a fandom that has 20 or fewer fics total on AO3.

And I looked from the dare, to my ARC of The Pairing by Casey McQuiston, to the dare, to my ARC... and, well, I'm no mathematician, but zero is in fact less than 20.

What this did mean is I mostly took point on writing this round, as I threw together a couple of little ficlets for my teammates to then record. Though I did manage to actually pod something as well!

THE PAIRING

[Podfic] No Ordinary Friend, written by @cha-melodius, read by @kiwiana-writes with cover art by @thesleepyskipper: 22 min 25 sec

It started when they were two idiot fifteen-year-old boys talking about sex like it was something other than a foreign concept for either of them, vowing that if they had a threesome they’d do it together and not really acknowledging what that might mean. It started when they were thirteen, when Calum pulled him out of the surf and, in his delirium from the blood loss, his best mate had looked like an angel with the sun behind his golden hair. It started when they were ten and got in a scrap over the right to be called Calum in their class instead of some other nickname, then promptly decided that actually they’d both be Calum and let everyone else sort it out. (Or, the Calums' story, from Monaco to Palermo)

Steep my senses in forgetfulness, written by @kiwiana-writes, read by @amanita-fierce with cover art by @b13-maybethistime: 400 words, 3 min 14 sec

Theo can hear the way the ocean rolls up to the shore, lapping up over the beach before falling back, summoned into the chill of the Atlantic.

CROSSOVER: RWRB/THE PAIRING

A Prince in the Pâtisserie, written by @kiwiana-writes, read by @amanita-fierce with cover art by @b13-maybethistime: 568 words, 3 min 48 sec

“Um,” is all Theo manages, and it’s only then that Kit actually looks up to register who is standing in front of them. And, yeah. He totally gets why Theo was shocked into silence, now. “Parlez-vous anglais?” Alex Claremont-Diaz asks, his smile somehow even more blinding in person than it is on TV—and, yeah, maybe Kit only really started paying attention to US politics when Ellen Claremont was elected. Sue him. “I really hope so, cause I’m pretty sure Henry’s getting sick of translating for me.”

The third and final round starts this weekend; maybe I'll actually go back to doing more podficcing for this one 😉

Permission statements are your best friend as an author, if you want people to podfic or otherwise transform your fics! If you've never created a permissions statement and you love a good template, there's a good one from @fanworkspermissionstatement here that can help: https://www.tumblr.com/fanworkspermissionstatement/721421909534851073/reblogging-for-an-update-now-with-new-faq-and

#kiwiana-writes #kiwiana-pods #voiceteam #voiceteam 2024 #the pairing #the pairing fic #the pairing fanfic #the pairing fanfiction #the pairing podfic #rwrb podfic

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lovesosweeet · 10 months

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty one

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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october 2, 2018 san diego, california calum

I feel bad for my Uber driver. He’s got some blubbering man crying in his backseat at 7 am on a Tuesday. When he drops me off at the hotel, I tell him thank you through quiet sobs, and I make sure to tip him incredibly well on the app. He didn’t ask any questions, although I’m sure he had plenty.

I don’t know why I choose Emelia over any of my friends to go to, but I do. I bang on the door to her hotel room until she annoyedly swings it open, her eyes flooded with concern. I don’t wait for her to hug me, instead I just clumsily throw my body against hers and start crying.

I’ve cried more in the past two days than I have in the past five years.

“What’s going on?” She asks, her voice just barely louder than a whisper.

“She broke up with me.” Even though they’re true, the words sound like a lie. I don’t even know if Emelia will believe me.

“You’re shitting me,” is how she responds, and I just cry, confirming the truth without words.

She lets me cry for a few minutes while she processes what I said.

“Cal, I swear, I had no idea that she would do that. I’m sorry.”

I just keep crying.

“Here, come in,” Em says. She opens her hotel room door wider and steps in, pulling me with her. I let her guide me to her bed and she pushes me down by the shoulders to sit. “I’m gonna go get the boys, okay?”

I want to yell after her not to bring Ashton, but I can’t make myself say the words. I hear her banging on doors and then whispering in the hallway, and before I know it, my bandmates and their girlfriends are all streaming into the room. Everyone looks floored and they look at me with immense pity. I hate it.

They all just stare, but KayKay is the first one to break out of the pack, coming over and sitting next to me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I let my emotions go again, letting the sadness ooze out of me in hot tears that undoubtedly fall onto Kay’s sweatshirt. She doesn’t say anything, but she just holds me as I cry.

The room feels deafeningly silent aside from my cries.

I want to be mad again. I want to yell at them all for letting this happen. How could none of us have known? How could none of us have sensed this all happening? I know Orion is to blame for keeping secrets, but Ashton is who I blame overall. He knew. He knew and he didn’t tell me. He’s my best friend. He should have told me.

Even though I want to be mad, all I can feel is the sheer heartbreak. The love of my life… isn’t even mine anymore. She doesn’t want to be mine. I never thought this day would come. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to get married. I figured I’d propose in a year or so, and then once she was out of law school, we would get married.

We’d elope, probably in Spain, but then we’d have an Australian reception and an American one, both still small small, with professional photographers to capture every single second of the elopement and the parties. We’d take pictures in Retiro and celebrate at Space Monkey. We’d watch the sun rise from the park, just the two of us, on our first morning as husband and wife.

Orion and I had talked about all of it. She’d shown me a Pinterest board of engagement rings she’d like.

We had plans to buy a house on the beach in a few years, once we didn’t need to be close to any college campuses. We wanted to get another dog, and maybe even a few cats. We didn’t want kids, but we did want to rescue as many animals as we had the time, space, and money for.

None of it matters now. She doesn’t even want to be my girlfriend anymore.

I never thought there’d be a world without Orion being mine, and here I am, living in that very world. She won’t even be in the world at all once she inevitably dies.

“Cal? Are you okay?” Michael’s voice brings me back to reality, and then I realize that I’ve temporarily stopped crying.

“I don’t even know.”

–

5SOS Cancel San Diego Concert!

Everyone’s favorite Aussie band was slated to perform in San Diego tonight as part of their Meet You There world tour, but the band has canceled the show without much explanation, citing a ‘family emergency.’ This is the message they posted to Twitter just a few moments ago.

“San Diego, we’re so sorry to say we won’t be performing tonight. We’ve had a family emergency come up. We promise to come back very soon and we apologize for the inconvenience.

We love you! Xx -Ash, Luke, Mike, and Cal”

Fans are immediately speculating after images were posted of bassist Calum Hood at the beach having an emotional breakdown yesterday afternoon, only to be followed by images of Hood’s long term girlfriend, Orion Moss, doing the same thing at a different beach. Allegedly, Moss was approached by police before fleeing the scene.

Whatever is going on, to say that fans are concerned would be an understatement.

read next chapter

#5sos #luke hemmings #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin #fanfiction #fanfic #5sosfam #imagine #calum fic #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum 5sos #calum imagine #calum x ofc #calum x fem!oc

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obxthornton · 1 month

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Chapter 1

WC: 3179

5 years prior

If you took satan himself and slapped him in the black skinny jeans your mom wears, it would be Luke Hemmings.

I hated Luke more than life itself, more than rain on a beach day or the last cigarette in the box.

It used to not always be like this. My band and his band used to be best mates, he and I had alittle chemistry. Alittle. Not a lot, but a tiny drop. We hung out every day after school, we played songs with each other.

That was until Luke stole my song.

Stole my song. A song about how I felt after the events of the breakup and Luke Hemmings changed a few pronouns and broadcasted it across the school. And fucking 5 seconds of summer got the credit for it.

I didn't blame the other bandmates. Ashton and Michael were oblivious to when Luke had even written the song and Calum, well Calum said he just showed up to rehearsal and played the bass.

Luke claimed he came up with it in a dream. Isn't that the most bullshit excuse ever? A song about my personal life made up in his dream. He claimed I stole it from him. Even more bullshit.

I wrote that song, expressing all the emotions I had felt concerning the breakup and he stole it.

"I can't wait to leave this school," Maddie said fixing her bag on her shoulder. She was significantly shorter than all of us and I wasn't even sure how her legs could catch up. She was maybe a foot shorter than Kiara who stood at almost 6'. Maddie was the bassist of our band and what she would call the 'hype man.' She was bouncy, bubbly, and not afraid to call people cunts to their faces. She liked to watch Star Wars movies and play soccer in her free time.

"Aren't we all?" Kiara rolled her eyes at the girl's words like they weren't known. Kiara was our lead guitarist who was actually from America. She moved here for Dad's job back in grade 7 and we had been friends ever since. She had dark skin with her natural hair and she towered over most of us. She wasn't that much taller than me but she still intimidated the crap out of me. When Kiara was not volunteering at school or saving the world, she was usually with one of the two bands.

"I actually like school." Willow smiled, sunglasses covering her bloodshot eyes. Willow was our drummer. And when Willow wasn't banging on drums, or with her girlfriend, she was usually getting high or drinking. She was the party one of our group and was the best fucking drummer in all of Australia. Don't tell Ashton I said that.

"This is the first time you've been at school all week," I told her rolling my eyes. Then there was me I guess. I'm the lead singer in the band. Sometimes guitar, sometimes keyboard, sometimes wherever I was needed.

"And? That doesn't mean I can appreciate the beauty of learning." Willow said sarcastically. It was good to say we were all done with year 12 and just wanted to leave. Kiara was going back to America for university, Willow was marrying her girlfriend and moving to Spain, and Maddie was going to university in England. I was staying here.

It was hard knowing that after this year I'd be alone. The band would be broken up until further notice and I'd be stuck here, alone.

"Georgina Summer? Where's Georgina summer?" A voice boomed through the hallways. I turned my head to look behind me to see Michael Clifford with one of those megaphone speaker things. His red hair made it easy to spot him in the hallway, so I didn't know why he couldn't spot me with the same hair color.

"Shut the hell up, Clifford!" Maddie yelled loudly at the boy whose head snapped in our direction. He had a huge smile on his face as he ran up to us.

"Women." He said still in the megaphone making us wince. He realized he was still talking into it and pushed it down, "women." He said again a lot quieter, shooting us all a grin.

"You really couldn't have just called me?" I asked unamused staring at the megaphone in his hand.

"You wouldn't have answered." He pouted.

I leaned in towards him slightly, sending him a sarcastic smile, "Exactly."

"You're no fun, but hey, I'm here to invite you to this party Ashton's having tomorrow At his house," Michael said looking at us four.

"I'm in," Willow said smiling before turning and walking away suddenly.

Michael's eyebrows scrunched in confusion "o-okay? She's in. Maddie's also in because Calum will be there and-"

Maddie shook her head and her arms at the boy, "wait wait wait. You can't just assume I'd come to a party just because My boyfriend is going."

Michael raised his eyebrows at her before she grumbled, "I'll see you there." She said before walking away in the direction Willow went

"Kiara is always in," Michael said smiling. Kiara shrugged, "always. Bye Gigi."

"And you." He said looking down at me, "You'll say you won't come because Luke's coming but then you'll break and come."

Michael Clifford thinks he knows me so well, doesn't he? I shook my head giving him an amused smile. "We'll see about that."

"Black or red?" I asked holding up two dresses as the girls lay sprawled across my room. Willow was on my roof smoking a cigarette that I wouldn't let her smoke inside, Maddie was on the phone with Calum and Kiara was actually giving me input.

"You have red hair," Kiara said unamused. "You don't wear red on red."

I held up my hands in defense, putting the red dress back in my wardrobe, and slid off my jeans and T-shirt before sliding on the dress.

"Calums picking us up," Maddie said pulling the phone away from her mouth for a second.

"Hell no. I do not want to be stuck with you and your boyfriend making out in the front seat for 5 minutes before we leave the house." Kiara said glaring at Maddie.

Maddie pouted, "fine he'll pick me up."

"I cannot 7th wheel all night tonight." Kiara groaned and rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. My eyes narrowed at her, "I don't have a partner."

"You and Luke have so much sexual tension that it feels like you're still together," Kiara said making me groan in response.

"It's true, you guys need to like bone already," Willow yelled from the roof. I walked over the my window and smiled at her sarcastically before shutting the window and locking the latches.

"Just because me and Luke dated for the tiniest amount of time doesn't mean we have any chemistry left," I said grabbing my trainers and putting them on my feet.

Maddie looked at me puzzled, "tiniest time? are we talking about the same Luke? You dated for four years."

"Maybe alittle more than a tiny amount of time. Either way, it doesn't change how much I hate the guy. He stole-"

"My song." Maddie and Kiara said at the same time rolling their eyes.

"We know. Still don't know how that happened, I mean it has been seen that people come up with the same ideas at the same time." Kiara said.

"Not the entirety of a song!" I said before sighing, "Look, me and Luke are history. And by history I mean we hate each other's fucking guts. It's not changing."

A tap came from the window and Willow smiled before blowing her hot breath on the window. She drew an arrow heart and wrote L+G in it backward.

I rolled my eyes before standing up and closing the blinds on her.

"I'm not saying that you have to, bone, him tonight, I'm just saying try to be civil for the rest of us," Kiara said with a pleading look.

"I'm alwasy the civil one." I argued, "It's him you should be telling this to."

------

I had already regretted coming to this party.

I didn't have school in the morning and I was staying over at Maddie's so there was no reason for me not to let loose and have a drink. But god did I hate the taste of alcohol. I also didn't like who I was on alcohol, it wasn't me I guess. I didn't mind being the designated driver.

"Here," Willow yelled over the music handing me a red solo cup of something. It looked like piss if I was being Honest.

"Don't get your pants in a mess, it's apple juice." She said rolling her eyes at me. "I brought some in my bag for you so you wouldn't feel left out."

I smiled gratefully at her before taking a sip; Apple juice at parties always hit differently.

"I'm going to find Danica." She said patting my shoulder and looking around for her girlfriend. "Call me if you need me." She disappeared into the crowd as soon as I nodded in approval.

"Hey, pretty girl." I turned my head to see Ashton Irwin smiling a toothy grin at me. Ashton and I had been friends since we were 4 years old, making him my utter and total best friend. He's how I met Michael, Calum, and the other one.

I smiled brightly at him before throwing my arms around his neck, "come here often?" He asked dipping me like we were dancing.

"A lot actually." I winked at me causing him to blush and set me back on my feet. This was our relationship, anyone from the outside would think we had been dating for all our friendship but in reality, he was just my best friend.

"Didn't think you'd show up. If you get tired or bored, just go up to my room. I'll tell Maddie where you are." He said taking a sip of his beer can he had.

"Thanks. Neither did I," I said raising my eyebrows slightly. "But Michael is just so persuasive with that megaphone. I mean who let the loudest kid in the group get a megaphone?"

Ashton laughed and shook his head, "Luke bought it to shut him up in the moment, however, it just made everything worse."

I rolled my eyes, that was such a Luke thing. Only thinking about now and not the future.

"Are you guys like ever going to makeup? I hate not being able to hang out with both of you at the same time." Ashton said, his face turning serious as his fingers danced over the top of his cup.

"You know how bad the breakup was," I said shuffling my foot uncomfortably. It was true, even before Luke stole my song our relationship was in shambles.

"I know." Ashton sighed, "I'm not trying to tell you who you love but come on Gigi. You and Luke were unbreakable. What even happened?"

I shook my head slightly, tugging on my lip ring anxiously with my teeth. Me and Luke never told anyone why we broke up. After you date for so long people expect you to last forever, but that wasn't the case with me and Luke. It was all I ever heard these days. 'Why did you and Luke break up?' 'Y'all were so cute!' 'Such a shame'

People just fall out of love.

"Sorry," Ashton mumbled seeing my discomfort. I shook my head again waving him off, "No no it's fine." Maybe I did need a drink. I turned my head to the living room to see some kid throwing up in Ashton's mum's vase. Never mind.

"Shit." Ashton said, "Hey mate! That goes outside not in the vase." He yelled at the guy pointing towards the backyard, "I'll talk to you later alright?" Ashton said kissing my cheek before running off towards the sick guy.

I sighed at his absence, Taking a sip of my drink. "Gigi!" Maddie yelled over the music, pulling Calum along who was pulling Michael. "Hey," I said to the three.

"Where'd Ashton go?" Michael asked looking around. I pointed to Ashton dragging the sick guy by his shirt towards the back door. Michael 'ahead' in recognition and turned back to us, "'Well see' huh?" He smiled

I rolled my eyes at him bringing up what I had said yesterday. "We did see. And I chose to come." I said.

"We're always happy to see you, Gigi," Calum said smiling at me, I hadn't talked to him in a while but he was just always with Maddie.

"I'd like to take the credit for it," Maddie said smiling proudly.

I rolled my eyes at her, "it was Michael's obnoxious voice actually."

Michael smiled at her in a mocking 'ha ha I win' kinda look but then it fell and he snapped his head towards me. "Wait what?"

I smiled brightly at him as he pouted, "I'm dying my hair back." He threatened.

My mouth was agape and I glared at him, "Rude Michael! We're twins." He shook his head before putting the hood of his hoodie over his head to hide his hair. "Not anymore."

"I liked it when it was black." Calum said, "Oo or the green."

"God I hated the green." I said, "It made my hair completely dead." Me and Michael alwasy dyed our hair the same color. It was fun, alittle weird, but it was fun.

"Your hair is always dead," Maddie said reaching out to touch my hair, making me smack her hand away.

"Maybe we should take a break after this color," I told Michael.

He nodded, "Yeah or we may have to shave off our heads. This is the 5th color this month."

"Speaking of shaving off our heads, where's Luke?" Calum said more to Michael than me.

I scrunched my eyebrows at him slightly, "why does shave heads make you think of Hemmings?"

Michael rolled his Eyes, "Calum shaved Luke's head in grade 5." Calum had a wide smile on his face as he remembered that day. I didn't remember that day, maybe we hadn't met yet but I only remembered Luke with long hair.

"I don't remember that," I said shrugging and turning around looking for the blonde boy for Calum. "If I see him I'll let you know."

"I need a drink." Maddie said looking at us, "One of you want to come with me?"

Calum nodded before Maddie grabbed his arm and pulled him along towards the kitchen. "I need one!" Michael said waving goodbye to me quickly before following the couple, who probably wanted to be alone, to the Kitchen.

I sighed looking around at the unknown faces. I didn't really hang out with people other than 5sos and Sugar's so this entire party was not in my comfort. I mean sure at school I knew everyone and everyone knew me but did I know them? Absolutely not.

Willow was gone probably smoking on the roof with her girlfriend. Kiara probably went home to be honest, I hadn't seen her all night. Maddie and Calum were making out, Ashton was nowhere to be seen and Michael was in the crowd partying.

Ashton's bed was always comfy. He had stuffed animals that he put under his bed when the guys came over but in reality, he slept with them every night. It always smelt nice in there, you wouldn't expect a teenage boy to have lived there. Clean laundry, lavender, citrus. It probably smelled better than my room.

So with that thought I ascended the stairs up to Ashton's room. I'd play on my phone, play his guitar, do something. Anything was better than standing alone at a party or following the only person you knew around like a sick puppy.

I twisted the knob of Ashton's room and opened the door. I immediately groaned seeing Luke hemmings on top of some girl now both staring at me.

"Put a fucking sock on the door hemmings." I groaned throwing my head back annoyed.

"Get the hell out Geo." He said glaring at me before throwing the pillow behind the girl's head at me.

"Hemmings? I thought your name was Luke?" The girl under him asked.

I stifled a laugh but failed miserably. Luke shot me a glare before turning back to the girl, "Hemmings is my last name."

"I thought it was Robert?" She asked.

Luke sighed closing his eyes and sliding off the girl, "That's my middle name." He mumbled, "Just go."

The girl pulled back on her jacket, still looking confused as she walked past me out the door. I sent her a cheeky smile as she did before turning back to Luke. "Got you a real keeper there," I said sarcastically motioning out the door with my head.

"At least I can get some if I want to." He grumbled sitting back down on the bed.

I rolled my eyes at him, "are you going to leave now? Kinda want Ashton's room."

"Absolutely." Luke said, "not." "I was here first so I will stay." He kicked back his Legs on Ashton's bed nuzzling himself into the bed.

"Yeah, but Ashton said I could have his room. And I'd hate to call Ashton to kick you out." I said shaking my head.

Luke thought for a minute before shaking his head and getting underneath the covers. "I'm not scared of Ashton. And I'm also not scared of my ex-girlfriend of four days."

"Four weeks." I corrected him.

"Four years!" Ashton yelled walking into the room. "You guys dated for four. Years. Years!" He said franticly.

"he is drunk," Luke said groaning earning a confused glance from sober Ashton. I looked at Luke with the same expression he was giving me before shaking my head, "I think I know how long we Dated."

"4 months at most," Luke said nodding in agreement.

Ashton let out an audible sigh, "At least you guys arent yelling at each other."

"Oh yeah. Back to that. Get out." Luke said pointing towards the door.

I shook my head, "fuck no. You leave." I said grabbing his shoes from the ground and throwing them out the door.

"Stop that." He said as I threw the other one out as well. I grabbed his phone out of his hands too throwing it out the door as well.

"Hey!" Luke yelled standing up to go retrieve his phone. I smiled as I shrugged off my jacket and jumped on the bed, digging myself under the covers.

"Bitch!" Luke yelled as Ashton started to close the door. I didn't know if he was talking to me or Ashton but we both flicked him off before shutting the door completely.

"Kiara told me you guys would be civil," Ashton said looking at me unamused.

I scrunched my eyebrows at him slightly, "that was me being civil. If I wasn't I would have thrown it out the window."

#5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin

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5sosfanfictioncatalogue · 2 months

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Sub!Ashton Masterlist

All You Had To Do Was Ask (ao3) - pityparyof1 calum/ashton E, 1k

Summary : Calum confronts Ashton.

Ashton's Turn (ao3) - Jay_isnotokay luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 4k

Summary: Ashton finds out what it's like to be in his princess's shoes.

I'd like to see you have your way (ao3) - iambic_pulse, phanjessmagoria ot4 E, 20k

Summary: Ashton asks Luke to take control of him one night, just for a little change of pace. It doesn't go as well as he hopes.

Let Me Feel Your Love (ao3) - warpedsoul luke/ashton, calum/ashton, michael/ashton M, 1k

Summary: Ashton thought he was going to be an alpha like the others.

He was wrong.

Luke's The Cure To Ashton's OCD (ao3) - 5sosquiff luke/ashton N/R, 3k

Summary: He fucked Ashton's mouth for a while before he deemed that the boy looked wrecked enough to fuck.

Oh, Honey (ao3) - anonymous luke/ashton E, 1k

Summary: Ashton misbehaves at an outing and has to face the music for it.

Room 247 (ao3) - fivesecondsofaus luke/ashton M, 1k

Summary: Luke and Ashton are new dorm room mates and Luke can’t keep his hands off the nerdy boy.

Through The Wall (ao3) - tinyglitterrose luke/ashton M, 2k

Summary: "Ashton, you are aware that I fucking fucked you in the ass, right? More than once? I fucked you, Ashton."

or Ashton likes to let himself be taken by random men on weekends and Luke finds out by accidently becoming one of Ashton's customers.

Try With A Little Tenderness (ao3) - orphan_account Calum/Ashton E, 6k

Summary: The boys are finally relaxing after their tour' they're back in Australia, and all they want to do is go back to the beaches they grew up on and have some fun in the sun.

However, Ashton has a different idea for what fun he wants to do in the sun.

with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now (ao3) - orphan_account ot4 M, 2k

Summary: Ashton had never really been nurtured in the way a child should be.

When his father had walked out on them at such a young age, Ashton had to step up and be the man of his house, helping bring in money and helping to raise his two younger siblings. He wasn't unloved or treated unfairly by his mother, quite the opposite, but she had never had the time to coddle him the way he craved.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #5sos fanfic #masterlists #ashton irwin #smut #sex tw #domsub #sub!ashton #sub!ashton masterlist

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hemmohaze · 4 months

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Bakery Blues

November 2018

"We should go to get those chocolate chip cookies from the bakery we went to in Long Beach a while ago on tour." Calum announced Ashton next to him in the car.

In less than two weeks they would be off to Australia for two weeks. One for the final leg of the Meet You There tour and two for some much needed rest and relaxation time with their families.

"Mate please you just wanna go see Maya; that girl who works at the front cash register." Luke teased from in front of him.

"You are such a liar dude." Calum said casually.

"Oh so you mean to tell me that time she gave you a coupon for the store you didn't go back the next day just to see her." Micheal retorted.

Calum has had a crush on her for almost 2 years. During their break in 2017, he always made it down there for some coffee. They started talking almost everyday he started coming. She also let it slip that she was a fan of the covers they did and went to the Rock Out With Your Socks Out tour with her older sister, Victoria.

Since then he always found a way to make it down there to see her.

Maya was supposed to be cleaning tables. Except she got distracted by Brooklynn 99 she put on for background noise for herself but then ended up editing her Youtube video.

"Hey mami." She said, not looking up from the Macbook.

"I think you have a special someone here to see you." Clara closed the laptop as Maya looked up to see a very familiar red shirt.

“Now please get up and go talk to him before your Uncle Carlos talks his poor head off."

Her eyes widened at her mom. She stood up awkwardly and made a beeline for the cookies she knows he likes and put them in a paper bag.

She almost face planted into the register but thankfully he was talking to her uncle with his back turned.

His dog Duke started yipping once he smelled her perfume she always wore. Maya bent down to give him some belly rubs.

“Hi baby.” She cooed to the pup.

Standing up she handed him the paper bag of cookies. "So how's life on tour been." She mentally cringed at the vauge question.

"Ah," He chuckled. "We're actually flying to Australia tomorrow so I just had to have some of these bad boys for the flight."

She smiled softly, her eyes crinkling. "I hope you enjoy. I spent a lot of time on those."

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easypeasylindyvesey · 4 months

Text

here are all the songs on my ITISWNK playlist that y'all can listen to while reading to kinda fit the vibe (if you wish). artists are listed on the left, corresponding songs are listed on the right :)

the 1975: about you, love it if we made it

6LACK: rent free

adele: someone like you, when we were young, all i ask

aidan bissett: more than friends

alicia keys: if i ain't got you

angus & julia stone: take me home

arctic monkeys: i wanna be yours

ariana grande: boyfriend (with social house), be alright, into you, leave me lonely, sometimes, thinking bout you, don't wanna break up again, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), imperfect for you, ordinary things, why try, just a little bit of your heart, safety net, pov, better off, goodnight n go, bad idea, ghostin

aron wright: build it better

berlin: take my breath away

between friends: affection

beyoncé: II most wanted

big time rush: nothing even matters

billie eilish: birds of a feather, i love you

billy joel: turn the lights back on

blackbear: dead inside

børns: electric love, american money

brent faiyaz: wasting time

briston maroney: freakin out on the interstate

bruno mars/silk sonic: leave the door open, after last night, put on a smile, love's train

bryan adams: (everything i do) i do it for you

cage the elephant: come a little closer

calum scott: you are the reason

camila cabello: my oh my, bad kind of butterflies, dream of you

the chainsmokers: closer, it won't kill ya, beach house, if you're serious

chance peña: in my room

chicago: hard to say i'm sorry (2009 remaster)

chris brown: forever

the cinematic orchestra: to build a home

coin: talk too much

coldplay: sparks, yellow, fix you

conan gray: forever with me, disaster, yours, memories

the cranberries: dreams

dave matthews band: crash into me (IYKYK)

dayglow: can i call you tonight?

disclosure: latch

doja cat: agora hills

don toliver: drugs n hella melodies

drake: yebba's heartbreak, imy2, hours in silence, i guess it's fuck me, flight's booked, teenage fever, lose you, from time, summer games, finesse, sooner than later, take care, doing it wrong, the real her, show me a good time, find your heart

dua lipa: break my heart, these walls

duster: stars will fall

dvsn: all that matters (spotify singles)

dylan conrique: birthday cake

eden: sex

ed sheeran: how would you feel (paean)

ellie goulding: close to me, something in the way you move, love me like you do

faye webster: i know you

fitz and the tantrums: out of my league

forest blakk: if you love her

frank ocean: godspeed

french montana: unforgettable

gabrielle aplin: skylight

gavin degraw: she sets the city on fire

gayle: ur just horny

(g)i-dle: i do

giveon: for tonight

gracie abrams: friend, feels like

greyson chance: shut up

grouplove: tongue tied

halsey: now or never, sorry, so good

hannah montana: he could be the one

harry styles: adore you, fine line, grapejuice, as it was, daylight, satellite, meet me in the hallway, two ghosts

hippo campus: way it goes

hoobastank: the reason

hozier: work song, cherry wine- live

hugo brijs: mol y sol

imagine dragons: next to me, start over, wrecked, bad liar

instupendo: comfort chain

james arthur: certain things, car's outside

james bay: wasted on each other

james blunt: you're beautiful

jensen mcrae: massachusetts

jeremy zucker: cozy

jess benko: a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

john de sohn: love you better

john legend: conversations in the dark

jonas brothers: hesitate, five more minutes

jp saxe: a little bit yours

justin bieber: as i am, off my face

jvke: golden hour

jxdn: beautiful boy

kanye west: heartless, devil in a new dress, runaway

katy perry: e.t.

kendrick lamar: die hard

khalid: don't pretend, better

the kid laroi: love again

king princess: 1950

labrinth: skeletons (lexi needed a break)

lana del rey: summertime sadness, a&w, let the light in, lust for life, norman fucking rockwell

lany: if this is the last time

lifehouse: you and me

lil nas x: tales of dominica, void

lil peep: star shopping

little mix: notice

lizzo: if you love me

lizzy mcalpine: ceilings, the elevator, come down soon, like it tends to do, staying, i guess, you forced me to, vortex

lord huron: the night we met

louis tomlinson: written all over your face, lucky again, chicago, angels fly, that's the way love goes

lovelytheband: i should be happy

luke hemmings: place in me, a beautiful dream

the lumineers: where we are, never really mine, just like heaven, sleep on the floor, my eyes, patience, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, morning song

m83: wait

maren morris: nervous

the marías: echo

maroon 5: stutter, never gonna leave this bed, if i ain't got you - live, bet my heart, it was always you, unkiss me, feelings, my heart is open

max: butterflies

***mazzy star: fade into you*** (this is the song that the fic is based off of!!!)

metro boomin: creepin'

miley cyrus: you - live, rose colored lenses, river

milky chance: stolen dance

mitski: my love mine all mine

monsume: jade

montell fish: fall in love with you., love you more than me

morgan wallen: wasted on you, not good at not, you proof, wine into water

the mowgli's: say it, just say it

muni long: time machine

nessa barrett: die first

ne-yo: let me love you (until you learn to love yourself)

nf: if you want love

niall horan: this town, put a little love on me, still, heaven, meltdown, must be love

nick jonas: close

noah kahan: stick season, come over, strawberry wine, everywhere, everything

ocean park standoff: if you were mine

olivia rodrigo: bad idea right?, logical, love is embarrassing, teenage dream, good 4 u, lacy

one direction: steal my girl, where do broken hearts go, fool's gold, spaces, infinity, end of the day, if i could fly, long way down, what a feeling, love you goodbye, temporary fix, a.m., home, kiss you, little things, they don't know about us, truly madly deeply, magic, what makes you beautiful, one thing, i want

parson james: stole the show

partynextdoor: come and see me

patrick watson: je te laisserai des mots

phillip phillips: dancing with your shadows

p!nk: true love

post malone: stay, take what you want, i know, leave, wrapped around your finger

preston pablo: flowers need rain

quinn xcii: let me down, good either way, the lows

rag'n'bone man: anywhere away from here

reneé rapp: in the kitchen

rihanna: stay

ruby haunt: answering machine

ruth b: dandelions (slowed + reverb)

ryan woods: bad texter

saint jhn: the best part of life

sam fischer: ready

sam smith: lay me down

sarah barrios: mourn the living

sarah kinsley: the king

sasha alex sloan: dancing with your ghost

selena gomez: a sweeter place

shawn mendes: it'll be okay, why, wonder

stephen dawes: don't hate me when it's over

stephen sanchez: until i found you (with em beihold)

strawberry guy: mrs magic

suki waterhouse: good looking

surfaces: falling again, find a way, hold onto me baby, so far away, stay

sydney rose: turning page

sza: awkward, snooze

taio cruz: break your heart

tate mcrae: that way, hate myself, go away, run for the hills, hurt my feelings, stay done, messier, think later, slower, you broke me first, wish i loved you in the 90s

taylor swift: out of the woods (TV), this love (TV), i know places (TV), wonderland (TV), you are in love (TV), "slut!" (TV) (FTV), say don't go (TV) (FTV), is it over now? (TV) (FTV), all of the girls you loved before, champagne problems, tolerate it, evermore, august, illicit affairs, invisible string, miss americana & the heartbreak prince, false god, afterglow, question...?, sweet nothing, bigger than the whole sky, would've, could've, should've, message in a bottle (TV) (FTV), dress, sparks fly (TV), the story of us (TV), enchanted (TV), electric touch (TV) (FTV), i can see you (TV) (FTV), fortnight, loml, the alchemy, you're losing me (FTV), fresh out the slammer, dancing with our hands tied, new year’s day, you’re not sorry (TV), you all over me (TV) (FTV)

teddy swims: evergreen

timaland: the way i are

troye sivan: angel baby, talk me down, for him., wild

the walters: i love you so

the weeknd: shameless, earned it, how do i make you love me?, out of time, here we go...again, best friends, don't break my heart, the knowing

whitney houston: i will always love you, i wanna dance with somebody

wrabel: ritual

yungblud: 11 minutes

zach bryan: i remember everything, spotless

zayn: dusk till dawn

**updated 6/23/2024

#y'all i spent FOREVER making this #all of these songs resonate so well i swear #fictional jimmy vesey

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wqbytop100 · 1 month

Text

WQBY

Top100 for the week ending August 11, 2024

Disconnect --Becky Hill -1 --13weeks-- (2weeks@#1)

Take Me To The Beach --Imagine Dragons -3 ---6weeks--

Heat --Tove Lo, SG Lewis -2 --6weeks-- (#2)

Naked & Alive --Milky Chance -4 --11weeks-- (2weeks@#1)

End Of Time --Lucas & Steve, LAWRENT f/Jordan Shaw -4 --15weeks-- (8weeks@#1)

Dance Through The Night --Gryffin, Whetham, Norma Jean Martine -6 --5weeks--

Tease Me ---Nicky Your -7 --7weeks--(#2)

Larger Then Life --Armin Van Buuren, ChefSpecial -10 --9weeks-- (#5)

One, Two & 3 --Galantis -9 --19weeks-- (#2)

I Adore You --HUGEL, Topic, Arash, Daecolm -21 --2weeks--

I Go Dance --Kiesza -25 --10weeks-- ^

Summer's Back --Alok, Jess Glynne -12 --8weeks--

Joyride ---Kesha -18 --5weeks--

Give Me Your Love --Benny Benassi, Nu-Lu -19 --5weeks--

Outside Of Love --Becky Hill -11 --19weeks-- (#2)

Music Is Better --RUFUS DU SOL -16 --7weeks-- (#10)

Brad Pitt --COIN -17 --7weeks--

Just A Dance --Alfie Templeman, Nile Rodgers -65 --6weeks--

Heaven Or Not --Diplo, Riva Starr, Kareem Lomax -13 --18weeks-- (#3)

I Had Some Help --Post Malone, Morgan Wallen -20 --13weeks-- (#2)

I Like It --Alesso, Nate Smith -53 --2weeks--

Under The Sun --Ella Henderson, Switch Disco, ALOK -51 --7weeks--

Lost In Space --Foster The People -22 --8weeks-- (#16)

Midnight Ride --Orville Peck, Kylie Minogue, Diplo -14 --9weeks-- (#3)

Shallow Water --Elderbrook (Club Mix) --29 --4weeks--

Some Like It Hot ---VASSY, Saint Rock -28 --4weeks--

Hero --Vintage Culture, Emery Taylor -23 ---11weeks-- (#10)

Whatever --KYGO/Ava Max -15 --9weeks-- (#7)

Unsure --Alan Walker, Kylie Cantrail -24 --8weeks-- (#15)

Upstate Miracle --Gilligan Moss -52 --3weeks--

Buscando Money --TWENTY SIX, Tayson Kryss -30 --16weeks-- (#3)

Shallow Water --Elderbrook (Radio Edit) -8 --9weeks-- (#8)

Hell Together --David Archuleta -31 --19weeks-- (#10)

Freefalling ---Gem & Tauri, Eyes Everywhere, Sarah de Warren -39 --4weeks--

Love & Pain --Enrique Iglesias -32 --12weeks-- (#3)

Wake Up --Imagine Dragons -33 --6weeks-- (#33)

It's Love (Trippin) --Kolsch, Goldtrix, Andrea Brown -35 --9weeks-- (#35)

***Godspeed --The Blessed Madonna, DJE-Clyps -(new) --1week

LA --Northeast Party House --36 --12weeks-- (#3)

Your Shine --BAKERMAT, Fly Disco Butter -40 --6weeks--

Perpetual Motion --Phantoms -42 --8weeks--

Looking For Joy --Kaleena Zanders -41 --6weeks-- (#41)

Out Of Time --ZEDD, Bea Miler -43 --6weeks--

Breathe You In --Gorgon City --NORTH -44 --6weeks--

Barcelona --Alan Walker, Ina Wroldsen -45 --8weeks--

A Bar Song (Tipsy) --Shaboozey, David Guetta -50 --7weeks--

My Fault --Shaboozey, Noah Cyrus -54 --9weeks--

I Believe --Bassjackers, WUKONG, D Jayne -55 --12weeks--

Multiply --Becky Hill -38 --10weeks-- (#9)

Lighter --Galantis, David Guetta, 5 Seconds of Summer -26 --26weeks-- (2weeks@#1)

Role Model --Fat Boy Slim, Dan Diamond, Luca Guerrieri -27 --12weeks-- (#10)

Underwater --DubVision, Afrojack -37 --24weeks-- (#11)

Stumbiln' In --CYRIL -46 (#46)

Water --The Floorplan -63 --7weeks--

Ready For Us --Drove, Boo Seeka -89 --2weeks--

Leave With My Love --Ayokay -70 --4weeks--

No Matter What --TELYKAST, Oaks -77 --3weeks--

Energy --Duke Dumont -92 --2weeks--

Fly --KC Lights, Welt -93 --2weeks--

I Can't --Reba McEntire (Dave Aude Remix) --66 --3weeks--

Pretty Low --Dillion Francis, Galantis, Arden James -62 --7weeks--

Small Town Syndrome --Mae Stephens -91 --2weeks--

Whatever Comes --Jeffery Sutorius, Manse, LYNDO, April Bender -90 --2weeks--

Nice To Meet Ya --INJI, Flyana Boss -94 --2weeks--

Find A Way --Faithless, Suli Breaks -71 --2weeks--

D.R.A.M.A. --Mr Belt & Wezol, NuKey, Jose De Mara -98 --2weeks-

Roots --Calum Scott -96 --2weeks--

My Oh My --Kylie Minogue, Bebe Rexha, Tove Lo -97 --2weeks--

Paradise II --Harry Romero -95 --2weeks--

Lovers In A Past Life --Calvin Harris, RAG'N'BONE Man -48 --16weeks-- (#10)

Don't Stop The Music --Dimitri Vegas, Vin Zion -78 --3weeks--

***In The Dark --Roosevelt -(new) --1week-

***The Moment --Carlita, SG Lewis -(new) ---1week--

***Shake Shake --Riton, RoRo, Ian Asher -(new) --1week--

Bittersweet --LP Globbi, Portugal, The Man --34 --6weeks-- (#34)

***Love You Got --Kelly Lee Owens -(new) --1week--

***Move --Adam Port, Stryv -(new) --1week--

***Free --Calvin Harris, Ellie Goulding -(new) --1week--

***Back To Life --Angrybaby - (new) --1week--

Can't Slow Down --Almost Monday -49 --10weeks-- (#39)

White Claw --Yung Gravy, Shania Twain -57 --6weeks-- (#57)

Whateva --Kyle Walker -56 --9weeks-- (#55)

Ten (Get Back Up) --Nathan Dawe, MNEK -58 --6weeks-- (#58)

Where Are You Tonight --KREAM -60 --5weeks-- (#60)

It's That Time ---Marioun Hoffstadt (Fisher Remix) -75 --5weeks-- (#75)

Cut --Marin Morris, Julia Michaels -76 --6weeks--

Without You --Kygo f/HAYLA -74 --7weeks-- (#74)

Eyes Closed --Imagine Dragons -67 --16weeks-- (#6)

A Tear In Space --Glass Animals -47 --9weeks-- (#47)

Paradise --Madison Rose -59 ---10weeks-- (#59)

Me Before You --KYGO, Piested -61 --5weeks-- (#61)

Spiral --Sofi Tukker -72 --5weeks-- (#72)

Endless Night --Matea -73 --7weeks-- (#73)

Left Or Right --Laidback Luke, Mathew Nolan -81 --11weeks-- (#25)

Carry You Home --Alex Warren -83 --9weeks-- (#66)

Fallin Luv --Gordo, Jeris -69 --16weeks-- (#8) -->

Sleep Tonight (This Is The Life) --Switch Disco, R3HAB, Sam Feldt -68 ---22weeks- (#3) -->

Gravity --Frank Walker, Tyler Shaw -64 --9weeks-- (#43) -->

One Cry --Galantis, Rosa Linn -85 --12weeks-- (#23)

Morning --Cheat Codes X Jason Derulo -79 --11weeks-- (#37) --->

8 new on the charts this week 8/11.2024 #38 Godspeed #72 In The Dark --Roosevelt #73 The Moment #74 Shake Shake #76 Love You Got #77 Move #78 Free #79 Back To Life

***new this week ---> off next week

#alwayshappymusic

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rayeverreviews · 1 year

Text

My Personal Chart Review (31/5/23)

bias again slay

Well, this was an incredibly busy week. For our top 5, Remember continues its top 10 run up to #5, with Like I Used To slipping from #1 to #4, Side Effects drops 1 to #3 but still gains in performances, with I Go Dancing returning to the runner up spot and Jazzy claiming her 2nd #1 (1st solo) with Giving Me.

For our losers and dropouts, we had quite a few in the latter category. Off the return last week, Blow Your Mind (Mwah) by Dua Lipa is gone from #10, Wish You The Best by Lewis Capaldi loses all of its momentum from #37, Chasing Pavements by Adele couldn’t stick for another week as it exits from #52, while Vibration (One More Time) fades naturally from #53. Meanwhile, I Wrote A Song by Mae Muller and Unicorn by Noa Kirel are out from #60 and #62 respectively as their Eurovision boosts wear off and Princess Diana by Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj underperforms as it leaves from #65. Now for album falloffs, with Lewis Capaldi also losing Forget Me off the return from #67. As for piri & tommy, they lost on & on from #56, beachin’ from #63, player 2 from #64, settle from #68, say it from #70 and can we from #73. Furthermore, we also lost Curtains by Ed Sheeran from #61, River by Miley Cyrus from #71, Set Me Free by D.O.D from #72 and Oscar Winning Tears. by RAYE from #74 which quite comfortably clinched its year-end list spot. As for our losers, Finally by Jonas Blue & RANI slips down to #22, Cupid - Twin Version by FIFTY FIFTY, Miracle by Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding and Like Crazy by Jimin all take big hits to #32, #33 and #36 respectively, with Can’t Tame Her and No Sleep down to #38 and #39. This week was a pretty bad week for both RAYE & Mahalia with Five Star Hotels. down to #42, Worth It. at #43, Terms and Conditions at #44 and Flip A Switch. completely collapsing down to #48. Meanwhile, ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine is back down to #51, 21 Reasons and Better Love fall to #57 and #58 respectively, Kill Bill by SZA continues its big losses down to #65, 10:35 by Tiësto & Tate McRae also collapses to #68 with Whistle by Jax Jones & Calum Scott making its way out at #69 and our final loss comes from piri & tommy, as words falls off the album boost to #70. What a list.

As for our gains and returns, well given the huge list of losers & dropouts there were quite a few. All By Myself by Alok, Sigala & Ellie Goulding is back in at #75, Oh No You Didn’t by Hix & Kelli-Leigh returns at #73, Snow On The Beach by Taylor Swift & Lana Del Rey is back in at #60 due to the release of the new version with a full Lana verse, Calm Down by Rema & Selena Gomez surprisingly has a very good week as it’s back in at #55, Stay The Night by Sigala & Talia Mar surges back to #50, Be The One by Dua Lipa returns at #35 (more on the reason why later) and finally False Alarm by Matoma & Becky Hill is back again at #30. As for our gains, Substitution by Purple Disco Machine & Kungs soars off the debut to #52, Pretty Boys by Caity Baser continues its resurgence to #26, I Found You by Sub Focus & Hayla rebounds to #25, Fly Girl by FLO & Missy Elliott continues up to #18, Because Of You by Gustaph surges into the top 10 at #10, Karma by Taylor Swift jumps up to #8 thanks to the Ice Spice remix and finally Hell N Back by Bakar continues its gains at #7.

Now that’s over with, let’s start off with our debuts

#74 That Part by Lauren Spencer Smith

Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m a huge fan of Lauren Spencer Smith, and so far I’m really liking the singles being pushed with this being no different. In this single, Lauren takes a step away from her breakup singles and actually sings about a happy relationship, and wow it definitely works. I expect this to rise in the coming weeks, and this isn’t the last we’re hearing of her today.

#72 live more & love more by Cat Burns

Cat Burns is back once again with another single. This one had been bubbling under for a few weeks before making the top 100, and it has now eventually found its way here. And yeah, I really like this one. I love Cat’s voice and I’m a huge fan of pretty much all her singles with this again being no different. Solid stuff.

#71 Eyes Closed by Ed Sheeran

Earlier this month, Ed Sheeran released his 6th studio album “-“, which unfortunately is one of his worst performing albums ever. It’s a damn shame because all the singles from this album so far are bloody great, including this. It was decent at first but I’ve found it to have really been growing on me the past few weeks and now it’s made it here. And my god this is so much better than any of the singles on “=“. Ed’s voice really suits the more acoustic sound “-“ was going for, and I really like the way Ed went with this. Never did I think I’d be this positive about a lead single from one of his albums but this is bloody good.

#64 Best Friend Breakup by Lauren Spencer Smith

This is definitely my most favourite track from the album rollout so far, although I’m really shocked it’s only just debuting now. In this song, Lauren sings about her ex best friend, saying how everybody thought they were sisters and how she didn’t expect this “best friend breakup” to hurt this much. And god damn she does it incredibly well. This will definitely see a decent climb next week.

#59 Escape by Kx5, deadmau5, Kaskade & Hayla

So this is a song that charted on the US EDM chart between last year and this year which I only recently checked out, and yeah I’ve been missing out. The production is really damn good with Hayla’s incredible vocals really making the song feel alive and I’m just mad I didn’t check it out sooner.

#56 Padam Padam by Kylie Minogue

I really didn’t expect this to be the route Kylie would go down. But she did not disappoint. Like with Head & Heart the chorus is about the noises of the heart, so I was pretty much guaranteed to like this. The production is really good with Kylie’s vocals still aging beautifully as she shows she’s still got it. I’m glad this is becoming a hit in the UK after A Second To Midnight missed completely along with Magic missing the top 40.

#49 MADELINE by INJI

So this is a recommendation from one of my friends Noah ajc, who actually charted 2 songs himself this week (more on that later, but he definitely had a good week didnt he 😅). And yeah, this is really good. It absolutely reminds me of something Charli XCX would do and I really like it. The production is basic but very fun with the vocalists sounding like Charli herself at certain points. If you haven’t already and you’re a fan of Charli XCX, check this out.

#34 Dance The Night (from Barbie: The Movie Soundtrack) by Dua Lipa

We have the welcome return of Dua Lipa, however this time with a single from the new Barbie movie she’s starring in, which is out in July. And this is so Future Nostalgia (positive). Her vocals never disappoint with Mark Robson’s production definitely taking it back to FN. Overall this is an absolute bop and if you liked Future Nostalgia, you’re bound to love this.

#29 tenner by Noah ajc & Esotie

So, here’s the first of two tracks from Noah this week. Now originally I was actually going to make a remix of this but unfortunately I wasn’t able to get it to work, but this song is unironically good anyways. I’m not even sure how to describe it, but it’s hilarious and a bop at the same time. Esotie’s verse is a highlight, but Noah’s heavily autotuned vocals really stand out and all in all it’s genuinely unironically good. Check it out.

#19 i hate me more by Noah ajc

Now the reason this charted is due to a remix with one of my good friends, Filey Frog. I haven’t actually listened to the original yet but the remix is incredibly infectious, with really damn good production and Noah’s vocals actually really suit it a lot. I expect this to stick around for quite a bit, this is some good stuff.

#16 Hits Different by Taylor Swift

And finally we have the last debut. This was originally a CD exclusive track that was released onto streaming upon the release of the Til Dawn Edition of Midnights, and this is absolutely awesome. In fact, I’d say it’s my favourite from the Midnights era and one of my favourite Taylor songs in general. As soon as I heard it I fell in love, and it’s a big fan favourite which I can absolutely see why and agree with. As the title says, it really does Hit Different. 🥁

So, Hits Different by Taylor Swift gets this week’s Best of the Week, with the Honourable Mention being a tie between Best Friend Breakup by Lauren Spencer Smith & i hate me more by Noah ajc. Next week, expect a couple of pretty big gains.

#Personal chart

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lovebombs4life · 6 months

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5sos Masterlist:

smut - ❤️‍🔥

fluff - 🩵

angst - ❤️‍🩹

Luke:

you don’t go to parties - 🩵❤️‍🩹

corruption - ❤️‍🔥

beach day - ❤️‍🔥

heartbreak girl - 🩵❤️‍🩹

love of my life - 🩵

animosity - ❤️‍🔥

new romantics - 🩵 (blurb)

burnt toast - 🩵

between friends - 🩵❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹

sweet boy - ❤️‍🔥

“slut!” - ❤️‍🔥🩵❤️‍🩹

why are you here? - ❤️‍🔥

honey whiskey - ❤️‍🔥

‘tis the damn season - 🩵❤️‍🔥

Calum:

the story of us - 🩵

best friend - ❤️‍🔥

hormones - 🩵

second date - 🩵❤️‍🔥

daydreaming - ❤️‍🔥

tear you apart - ❤️‍🔥

oxytocin - ❤️‍🔥

paper rings - 🩵 (blurb)

is it over now? - ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥🩵

Ashton:

english love affair - ❤️‍🔥

you are in love 🩵 (blurb)

west coast - ❤️‍🔥

cheer up - ❤️‍🔥

first - ❤️‍🔥🩵

Michael:

treat you - ❤️‍🔥 (blurb)

sex ed - ❤️‍🔥

stay - ❤️‍🩹 (blurb)

pay back - ❤️‍🔥

all i wanted - ❤️‍🩹🩵

wildest dreams - ❤️‍🔥

darling - 🩵 (blurb)

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highfivecalum · 6 years

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Vitamin Sea {Surfer!Calum} 3

Summary: After moving to Hawaii from Australia, Calum is the new guy in the small Hawaiian town, Oceanside, and plans to lay low, surf, and mind his business, but after meeting Sawyer and her friends, he gets more than he bargained for.

Taglist: @thewackywriter, @backgroundsound, @5sosbringmetolife, @comingcalum

For once, Sawyer didn’t have to work, so she had the whole day to do whatever she wanted. And that, of course, insisted of going to the beach with her friends. It was Ashton’s birthday week, and Sawyer promised him that she would throw him a birthday party, and she choose to do it the next day, because she was working the night shift the day after the party, so she wouldn’t have to worry about waking up early and having a hangover.

Her phone dinged on her nightstand, waking her up from her deep sleep, and she groaned. It was one of the only days she could actually sleep in and of course, one of her friends just had to text her and wake her up. And it was partially her fault since she forgot to put her phone on vibrate.

Ashy: Gonna be late to the beach today, can you get there soon and get a spot for us?

Why can’t Luke?

Ashy: He’s with me. We’re at getting our boards cleaned.

Ugh. Fine.

Ashy: Love u Sauce

She reluctantly got out of bed and dressed into a bikini, not bothering to shower first since she knew she would be sweating and getting into the water anyway. After brushing her teeth, she grabbed her beach bag and speaker and hopped into her doorless Jeep. The drive to the beach, which is also two seconds away from Sharkey’s, was only five minuets so she was there in no time.

Sawyer’s phone vibrated against her jean shorts back pocket and she fished it out seeing another text from Ashton.

Ashy: Aslo, Calum is supposed to be meeting us and I forgot to tell him we’re gonna be late, so he’ll prob be there before us.

Sawyer rolled her eyes and locked her phone, not bothering to text him back, before grabbing her beach bag out of the passenger seat and treading towards the half empty beach. She found a good sized spot and laid out a few blankets, knowing that Ashton won’t have any towels when he arrives with Luke.

She was nervous just thinking about being at the beach by herself with Calum, since they didn’t know each other well, and she was undeniably attracted to him, so she got her phone out of the beach bag and composed a text to Michael.

Wanna come to the beach?

Mikey: Not rly lol

Pleaseeeeeee I’m here alone :(

Mikey: Ughhh fine I guess be there soon

Hurry up!

Sawyer saw that Michael had read her text, but didn’t bother responding, which is what he usually did if he was going to see her soon. She sprayed herself with sunscreen and leaned back on the makeshift pillow she made out of her shirt and shorts and waited for Michael to arrive; hoping that he arrived before Calum did so it wouldn’t be as awkward.

“I cannot believe you talked me into coming to the beach instead of playing Fortnite.” Michael huffed as he plopped down next to Sawyer on her towel. She giggled and rolled her eyes, handing her sunscreen to Michael, since she knew that he didn’t bring any. “Thanks.”

“Thanks for coming. I know you didn’t want to.”

Michael shrugged. “You’re one of my best friends, so if it was anybody else, I would have said no. Why are you here by yourself, anyway? Where’s Ash and Luke? Or Rachel?”

“They’re coming later, Ash told me to get a spot before the beach filled up, and I didn’t want to sit here alone,” Sawyer explained. “And, also, Ashton’s new hot friend is supposed to be coming and I didn’t want to be here alone with him since I don’t really know him that well.”

“Hot new friend? This is the first I’m hearing of him. What’s his name?”

Speaking of the Devil, Calum hollered Sawyer’s name, waving to her. “Sawyer!”

She smiled at sat up all the way, leaning against the cooler Ashton made her bring and waved back to him. “Hi Calum.” She smiled shyly and turned to Michael, giving him a look, as if to say ‘that’s him’. “This is Michael, one of my best friends. Mikey, this is Calum.”

“Nice to meet you, mate.” Calum smiled and bumped his fist against Calum’s.

“Likewise.”

“Where’s everybody else?” Calum sat down next to Sawyer and she noticed that he didn’t have his surfboard or his wetsuit with him, so she figured he wasn’t going to surf today.

“Ash and Luke are going to be late,” Sawyer told him. “Apparently he forgot to tell you that.” Calum nodded his head, confirming he didn’t know that. “His memory sucks.”

After an hour of sitting and talking, Luke, Ashton, and Rachel finally arrived and you waved them over happily. It wasn’t awkward with Michael and Calum, but Sawyer was still happy to see her other friends.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Luke exclaimed happily, ruffling Michael’s hair in the process. Michael and Luke had gotten very close after Sawyer introduced the two of them, since they had so much in common, and she was happy to see her two different groups of friends getting along so well.

“You comin’ in?” Ashton asked Calum as he and Luke go ready to get into the water to surf. Michael and Rachel had already made their way into the water, splashing water at each other and dunking each other under and Sawyer laughed at the sight.

“Not today. I’m a little bit sore.”

“You’re weak!” Ashton yelled with a laugh following as he ran to catch up with Luke. Calum and Sawyer watched the guys hop onto their boards and paddle deeper into the water. Sawyer was content just laying out and Calum felt the same. He wasn’t up for doing any strenuous actives; wanting to give his body a rest.

“You didn’t have to work today?” Calum asked Sawyer, breaking the tension.

“Nope.” She shook her head. “Not today, thankfully.”

“Good for you.” Calum smiled.

“Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow night?” Sawyer asked him. She wanted to invite him to the party, since she knew her friends would start talking about it sooner or later, and she didn’t want him to feel left out.

“I’m not doing anything ever, really, unless it’s with you guys.” Calum admitted sheepishly. “I don’t really know anybody else here.”

“Well, it’s Ashton’s birthday week, and I’m throwing a party for him tomorrow at my house, if you want to come?”

Calum nodded his head. “Yeah. That sounds fun. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“Just yourself.” Sawyer winked. “But if you want to bring like, beer, or anything you can. It’s up to you. I can give you my address or you can get a ride with Luke or Ashton.”

Calum informed her that he would probably get a ride with Ashton since he was so bad with directions and would no doubt end up getting lost. Sawyer giggled, but told him that was perfectly fine, and they went back to peacefully laying next to each other under the sun.

Unexpectedly, Ashton came out of the water, digging his board into the sand so it would stand up right, and lifted Sawyer up, throwing her over his shoulder as he yelled loudly like a crazy man. Sawyer giggled loudly and pounded her fists against Ashton’s butt repeatedly, demanding that he put her down. And finally did, throwing her deep into the ocean.

“Ashton!” Sawyer yelled as she popped up from under the water. “I’m going to kill you!”

Calum joined the group shortly after and played along as everybody splashed and dunked each other under water.

“Let’s play chicken!” Michael exclaimed happily.

“Sawyer get on Calum’s shoulders,” Rachel winked at her deviously as she shoved Luke under water to get on his shoulders.

Calum went under water and Sawyer got on his shoulders carefully, hoping that she wasn’t crushing him. He did look pretty muscular, so she hoped he could hold her up. He emerged from under water and wiped the water off of his eyes before patting Sawyer’s thigh.

“Sorry if I’m crushing you.” Sawyer apologized, half joking, half serious.

“Please,” Calum scoffed. “You’re light as a feather.”

And that’s how the rest of the day went. Sawyer and her friends messing around, playing chicken, calling each other inappropriate names, and laughing harder than they ever had before. And Calum, who would never admit it, was so thankful that he found this new group of crazy friends, who also acted as a family.

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum blurbs #calum hood imagine #calum imagine #calum hood blurbs #5sos cal #5sos blurbs #calum 5sos #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #surfer!calum #surfer!cal #beach boy!calum

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sugarcoatedvein · 2 years

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lovesosweeet · 10 months

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter twenty five

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

september 14, 2018 los angeles, california orion

Being on my break between chemo cycles means I have essentially nothing to do. My body is still recovering, but the complete lack of structure in my life just gives me the most contrasting current life from the one I’m supposed to have.

I’m supposed to be studying for the LSAT. I’m supposed to be taking 18 credit hours this semester. I’m supposed to be working at the library and having late night study sessions with Emelia and her roommates. I’m supposed to be touring law schools and meeting with my advisors to make sure I graduate on time.

Instead, I spend my days cooped up in the apartment, nursing myself to a somewhat livable level of health, even though I know I’m about to make things worse again in a few weeks when I start my next cycle of chemo.

Since I have so much time, I decide I want to try to put it to good use. I ordered some yarn and knitting needles and want to learn to knit something. I also ordered a bunch of things that Emelia and Macy love. Once I have some kind of product from knitting, I want to make them little thank you baskets.

I write out thank you cards to both of them when the supplies get delivered, and decide I want to include framed photos of us in the baskets, so I pull out my phone and start to scroll through my camera roll to find photos to print out.

I realize I haven’t really taken many photos since the boys left for tour. There are some, a handful from each day, from when they were in Australia and Joy and I were texting a lot back and forth. Otherwise, I have a rare photo of Duke, the photos we took with Macy at her apartment a few nights ago, a few selfies of me crying while missing Cal, and that’s about it.

The journey in my photos back to the boys being here honestly kind of hurts.

We were so happy, so blind, so unaware to what the future would hold. The boys, aside from Ash, are stil blind and happy. Blissful ignorance. I miss it. I miss them.

I stop at a photo that Luke had taken of me and Calum without either of us knowing. It was after their rehearsal when we went to the beach. We’re just looking at each other, both of us with a dopey grin on our faces. I’d know we were as in love as we are just by looking at the picture, even if the two people in the photo were strangers to me. The love is just palpable. I can feel it.

We’re walking up the beach, back towards the others. I’m wearing a black sports bra and matching bike shorts, wet hair messily hanging around my face and my eyes trained on Cal. He’s in a pair of plain black boxers that are wet, too, with his arm draped across my shoulders.

I start tearing up at the picture and decide to post it to my Instagram story. I type a small message to put along with it.

“missing u like always. can’t wait for another beach day like this. love u more than anything. <;3 @calumhood”

Almost like clockwork, about five or six minutes after it’s posted, Calum starts calling me.

I try to choke back my tears enough to speak coherently to him over the phone. “Hi,” I finally manage to say.

“Hi, love. What’s going on?”

I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “It’s nothing. Just really feeling lonely today and I miss you so much and—”

“O, breathe.” I realize then that I’ve been hyperventilating.

“In,” Cal says. I want to roll my eyes and tell him it’s stupid, but I know I need to listen to him, so I take a big inhale.

“Out.” I exhale, and Calum guides me through breathing slowly enough to calm down a bit.

“Sorry,” I say once I’ve regained composure.

“No, don’t be sorry,” Calum insists. “I’m sorry you’re feeling so down and lonely. If it’s any consolation, I miss you tons, too.”

“Don’t miss me, Cal. Enjoy your tour.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll just totally turn off all my feelings affiliated with my girlfriend, AKA, the person I love most on the whole planet. Yeah, being apart from her for a few months doesn’t suck at all.”

I roll my eyes at him. “I don’t want you to miss me.”

You’ll have to live the rest of your life without me, I think.

“You might be the only girlfriend on the planet who doesn’t want her boyfriend to miss her,” Cal sounds sad, but he plays it off with a chuckle. “Should I be worried?”

Yes.

“No, I just know how much you love your job. I know how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are. I don’t want you to be thinking about me while you’re living your dreams.”

Calum sighs. “Orion, I’m trying here. You want me to talk to you several times throughout the day, but I’m not allowed to miss you. You’re sad I’m gone, and I can’t tell you I’m sad to be gone without it seeming like I hate my job.”

That shuts me up. I’m sure he’s very confused about what I want from him, and that’s fair, since I’m confused about everything in my life right now. I want Calum to be home and be taking care of me, but I also don’t want him to have to deal with the situation at hand, AKA his girlfriend dying of cancer. I don’t want him to have that looming on his mind while he plays shows to adoring fans around the world.

My silence invites him to speak again.

“I guess now’s as good of a time as any, but I was gonna ask you about those pictures on Twitter.”

Pictures on Twitter?

“What pictures on Twitter?” I ask. I put Calum on speaker phone and open up the app.

Just as he starts to speak, I see it. Blurry photos of me and Macy walking out of the hospital a few weeks ago. Both of us look like shit, dressed in comfy clothes, carrying full tote bags over our shoulders, our cheeks sunken in and the bags under our eyes casting dark shadows.

The headlines attached to it by the shitty gossip sources are insane.

5SOS Bassist’s Girlfriend Exiting Hospital: What Did He Do to Her? and Long Term Girlfriend of 5SOS’s Calum Hood Seen Exiting Hospital with Mystery Woman are the first two that I see, which, honestly, are enough to predict how everyone else on Twitter is reacting.

I see more random Tweets about it.

@5SOSUpdates: Orion leaving UCLA’s hospital with a friend recently. Anyone have any info?

@5SOSUpdates1: why tf is Orion at the hospital dressed like she’s homeless

@5SOSUpdates2: orion? At the hospital? Without Cal? Is this why she’s not on tour?

Replying to @5SOSUpdates2: lol I think she’s not on tour bc she’s a student and has class. chill. she’s living her life and not bothering anyone, why do people get so up in arms about her?

@5SOSUpdates3: Bro what does Cal see in her? She looks like shit. Also who tf is that with her lol i thought she only had like one friend.

@5SOSUpdates4: orion walking out of a hospital? I hope everything’s OK. she looks tired. :(

“Oh, those pictures,” I say it as if I’d seen them in advance and wasn’t looking at them for the first time.

“You went to the hospital with Macy? Was that just for her cancer?”

God, Calum. He opened another door that, in order for me to walk through, I have to lie. “Yeah, her chemo appointment lined up with my schedule and they take, like, a full day, so I went with her to keep her company.”

It’s not really a lie, but in my gut, I know it is. I feel like an awful person and an awful girlfriend.

Calum sighs again. “Okay, just thought it was weird that the paps were waiting at the hospital for you.”

“Maybe they were waiting for KayKay? Her grandma was at that hospital.” As I say it, I hope I didn’t just dig myself into another hole I have to lie my way out of. “Weird coincidence, I guess.”

“Shit, yeah, that would make sense,” Calum says. I silently let out a sigh of relief. “Remember? Kay was like ‘you look familiar’ to Macy when they met. I bet they’d seen each other at that hospital.”

I know I don’t normally forget things, but that connection hadn’t happened in my head. It makes so much sense now, too, and I wish I’d put the dots together before Calum had. “Sorry, just weird to see pap or fan photos of you when we aren’t with each other.”

“It’s LA, there are paps hiding everywhere. They see an opportunity and they take it.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right,” I say, trying to lighten things up with a joke.

Calum laughs. “You are right an obscene amount of times, yes.”

We both chuckle softly after that.

As we talk, the weight of the Twitter drama starts to lift, replaced by the comforting connection I share with Calum, and I’m glad he believes me. Despite the challenges, we find solace in each other, even if it's just through a phone call.

“Hey, since you’re feeling so down, would you want me to fly you out?”

I want to see Cal. I do. I want to be with him and feel his arms around me and have the most calming, comforting person I have ever met in my presence again. But I can’t see him. I can’t see him for a few days and expect that he won’t have questions about everything and I can’t tell him yet. I just can’t. The pressure is too high.

I think he hears my breath catch in my throat.

“Is this not a good weekend? I just thought…”

I want to punch myself in the nose. He sounds so defeated and sad. “No, I just… yeah. Not a great weekend. I’m sorry. I wish I could see you, but I think waiting ‘til San Diego just makes the most sense.”

Calum coughs, I think trying to cover up some other noise that he’d like to make that would indicate an upset. “Yeah, fair, we are driving down to Florida after the show tonight and that’s gonna take awhile, I’m not even sure what time we’d get to Orlando.”

I wish everything that’s going wrong here was just a logistics issue.

“Cal, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so emotional and I wish that things lined up better to see you sooner.”

Truthfully, my cancer makes me wish I had more time with everyone I love. I want to have people who love me around me all the time. Any time I spend alone feels like time wasted. I love so many people and want to spend as much time as I can with them, but I feel selfish asking for their time.

Spending time with Calum sounds like the most valuable use my time possible, but I know that as soon as I see him, I’ll have to fill him in on the most devastating news that someone you love could share with you. I have to break his heart and watch it while it falls to pieces.

“Orion, never apologize for having big feelings,” Calum says. “That’s one of the things I love most about you, especially since it’s something I struggle with. You show how you feel, good and bad, and you’re not afraid to express your feelings. It’s so amazing to watch you. I love seeing how much you love everyone. It’s a beautiful thing and a disheartening thing in a selfish way. I love knowing that you love the people I love, but I sometimes wish that love was reserved for me.”

With each word he says, the more inclined to start crying I feel. I love him so much, so I’m glad it’s reciprocated, but hearing him talk about me and how much he loves me has become painful when it used to make me feel like the happiest girl in the world.

Every kind thing he has to say about me could be negated the moment he learns that I’ve been lying.

I take a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. Calum's words, filled with love and vulnerability, are both a comfort and a torment. I wish I could freeze this moment, let the warmth of his affection surround me a little longer before the impending storm and let the good and bad both have their time in the center of my heart, but instead, I just feel the weight of the negatives.

“I’m sorry, Cal, I don’t know if I can keep talking about this,” I manage to say between my silent sobs. “I love you. Think I’m gonna take a long shower and have a glass of wine.”

“Orion…”

“I’m fine, okay?” I say with a shaky voice. “Just need to recenter myself.”

His raggedy breath shakes as he does a deep inhale. “If you say so, but remember, I am here if you need me, and I’ve got a good bit of free time over the next few days if you need to talk. Whatever time, whatever day, I’ll answer as soon as I can. You know that, right?”

His words feel like I knife in my heart. “Yes, I know. And thank you. I am so lucky to have you.”

He’s so unlucky to have me.

“I’m the luckiest man in the world to have your love in my life, O. I mean it. I’ll let you go, but please, please call me if you need me.”

“I will,” I lie. This call was a mistake. It’s just going to make him worry about me, which isn’t on my agenda at all. I don’t want him to worry. That’s such a huge part of why I hadn’t told him about my cancer in general.

“I love you and miss you more than words will say,” Cal says.

“I love you and miss you far more, I swear.”

“Guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. Go take your shower, and I’ll send you a bottle of wine and some ramen, OK? Don’t say no or fight back, I’m gonna do it regardless.”

I choke back a loud sob. “OK. Thank you. Bye, Cal.”

“Good bye, my love. Take care of yourself, please. I need you happy and healthy and by my side come our San Diego show.”

I have to hang up before I let myself collapse on the floor in a pile of shaking limbs and ragged sobs. His words hurt, even though I know he intended them with the sweetest, most tender love imaginable. It hurts to know I’m doing this to him and he doesn’t even know.