#bea: yes. i really prefer not to think about it. but we may well end up becoming an episode of the x files one of these days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

softbiker · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader (not Stucky)

Word count: 3k

Warnings: maybe a couple curse words? I don’t remember. Lots of coffee

Summary: Steve is fond of a particular barista. Bucky has a favorite customer. Let’s see where this goes!

A/N: Somewhat inspired by real life events, this is (hopefully) going to turn into a new series! No idea where I’m going with it or how often it will update, but let’s have fun and see where it goes! As always, let me know what you think and thanks for reading <3

It’s July - early morning and already hot - and the door squeaks loudly somewhere over her shoulder as she preps a fresh batch of coffee to brew. She doesn’t look up or turn around, intent on her task, but she calls a distracted “good morning”, along with her coworkers. The humid morning air has left a sticky fog on the windows and doors, on skin and clothes, and it follows them inside, in spite of the air conditioning. She’s already regretting the long-sleeved shirt she plucked from her laundry pile, though it was the only passable shirt she could find and still be in dress code.

“Hey, you got front?” Bea, her supervisor, pipes up over the headset. Her head bobs over the open door of her bar fridge, where she’s counting milk.

With a nod, she turns back around from the brewing machine, putting on her customer service smile as she sees-

“Oh, morning, Steve,” she laughs, her smile blooming genuine. “I barely heard you come in, sorry.”

“No worries,” Steve smiles. His eyes look tired, but she knows hers are as well - it’s 6:30 in the morning and they’re already into their work day. He ducks his head, leaning a hip against the front counter. “I’m quiet, I guess.”

“What can I get for you?” she asks, tapping away at the screen to open her till. “Just the americano with stevia and almond milk?”

Steve chuckles and blushes under the dark stubble on his cheeks, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. It strains the seams of his plain white t-shirt, stretched too tight already across his broad shoulders.

“I’m predictable, huh?” his nose scrunches as he asks, and she drops her eyes back down to the screen in front of her, displaying his order as she rings it up.

“Nothing wrong with that,” she shrugs, pursing her lips in an effort to contain her smile. “Anything else for you?”

“Uh, yeah actually, can I get an iced coffee, too? With a little bit of cream?”

“Sure thing,” with a couple of swipes at the screen she’s got the order rung up. She pushes it through, prompts him to swipe his card, and glances down towards the bar, wondering where her coworkers have suddenly disappeared to.

“Well - I guess I’ll get those ready for you,” she quirks an eyebrow at him as she makes her way down towards the espresso machines, with Steve following along, separated by the counter between them. He watches, her head down, labeling a cup and pulling espresso shots, turning for a stevia packet.

“So,” he clears his throat. “How you been?”

“Oh, you know,” she shrugs. “I’m here - and it’s 6:30. And hot.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughs. “Tell me about it. I’m already sweating.”

“Same here!” Her face disappears as she bends down to dig in the fridge for a tetra of almond milk. “I mean, I really played myself today - wearing long sleeves. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Wow, rookie mistake,” Steve shakes his head.

She slides the americano out at the end of the bar, after adding a cardboard sleeve to protect against the scalding heat of the water. Their eyes meet over the drink, his fingers just slightly brushing hers even as she spins away and grabs the cup for his iced coffee. Conversation lulls; he clears his throat, takes a small sip of the drink and enjoys the slight burn on the tip of his tongue. She’s fast and smooth, never quite looking at him but never turning completely away from him; he’s in the corner of her vision and she’s the center of his. The cream swirls downward into the iced coffee, softening the color and the taste - though Steve has never been a fan of cold coffees, but he knows how Sam takes it.

“Here you go,” she holds out the iced coffee with a polite smile, plucking a straw from the caddy next to her and extending it in her other hand.

“Thank you-” he trips over whether or not to say her name; he wants to say it, and it’s written right there on her apron, offered on the tip of his tongue. He’d like to taste it. But the leap of familiarity scares him, as it has the last two months he’s been coming in here, and he swallows down the letters. Settles for an answering smile.

“Guess I’ll see ya tomorrow?” he half-jokes, coffees in hand, backing towards the door one step at a time. He watches her head bob as she ducks down to grab a rag out of her sanitizing bucket; she wrings it out and wipes down the counter, sparing him a lifted eyebrow, a sly sideways glance.

“Maybe-” she smirks, swiping an already clean spot on the counter before dropping her rag back in the bucket. “I might be off tomorrow.”

“Might be?” Steve’s head quirks to one side. “You don’t know?”

“Well…I asked someone to trade shifts with me so I could have the weekend off…” she sighs and crosses her arms. “But I haven’t heard back from her, so it’s probably not happening.” Her wry smile is accompanied by a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s just as well, though. This place would probably fall apart without me.”

“Oh, definitely,” he chuckles. “So I guess, maybe I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good one, Steve!” she waves as he ducks out the door, bell jingling overhead at his departure. It really is hot today - her cheeks feel warm. Her whole body does, actually; but the cafe is quiet and empty now, the sun just rising over the buildings outside, and she gets a sip of water from the cup she keeps stashed under the front register.

“So how’s your man today?” Bea jokes over the headset. Looking over, she can see Bea’s mirthful expression peeking around the corner from the back of house where she’d been washing whip canisters.

“Yeah, when are you and Steve gonna go out?” Ally’s voice joins in the teasing, innocently sarcastic in her trademark way.

“Come on, guys,” she huffs, glad that neither of them is out front on the floor, where she was unable to hide her smile. “Steve is just a customer. He’s just another nice regular, that’s all.”

“Uh huh. That’s why you giggle every time we bring him up?”

“I do not!”

“Well, you just keep telling yourself that,” Bea smirks, banging through the back of house door with an armload of milk. “But you should know that store is taking bets on when he’ll finally ask you out.”

She chooses not to answer, just rolls her eyes and heads out the front door to set up the patio umbrellas. It’s July, early morning and already hot, but at least there’s a breeze out here - enough to cool the blazing in her cheeks even as she wrestles the umbrellas open to shade the outdoor tables. Her mind drifts away, to Steve’s easy smile and Steve’s breathtaking eyes, and the way he always dropped a dollar or two in the tip jar. Not to mention, the stretch of his white tees across those ridiculous shoulders.

Well, anyway. He is a nice regular. That’s why she enjoys him coming in every day, that’s all.

**********

“She there today?” Sam smirks as he eagerly plunges the straw into his iced coffee, swirling the cream into its depths. He waggles his eyebrows at Steve’s flushed cheeks while he takes the first satisfying sip.

“Yes.” Steve clears his throat, keeping his eyes down on his own drink. They’re sitting in Steve’s office - well, Steve is sitting, safely behind his desk. Sam posts himself in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his feet crossed. He watches his friend’s flustered fluttering behind the desk - Steve shuffles papers, taps on the keyboard of his computer to open his email, moves his coffee to one side of the laptop and then the other.

“Well?” Sam prompts, gleefully swirling his iced coffee, listening to the ice rattle before taking another loud slurp. “You ask her out yet? Give her your number at least?”

Steve scowls up at his buddy over his laptop screen.

“Sam you don’t get it-” he huffs. “This girl…she’s - God, she’s so beautiful, Sam. You know how many guys must hit on her every day? In a town like this?” He shakes his head. “I’d just be another asshole to her; she’d file my number away with all the other guys she’s not gonna call.”

“Whatever, dude,” Sam rolls his eyes. “That’s just an excuse for you to not take a chance on it. You just gonna keep going in there early in the morning and wasting money on coffee you used to brew at home?”

Steve doesn’t dignify that particular dig with a response, instead choosing to take a large swig from his coffee - he had to admit, she made a damn good cup. Simple as it was. But he knew, as many excuses as he made, he was addicted to more than just the espresso; her sweet smile perked him up in the mornings the way caffeine just couldn’t quite cut it.

He’d been going into the cafe at the crack of dawn for at least a month now. Sam practically begged him once to go out for an iced coffee, an early morning at the end of May, and with a sigh he’d agreed, though he complained loudly about wasting money on expensive coffee shop brews when he preferred to make his own in the coffee pot sitting three feet away from his desk.

The bell dinged over the door, the sun already streaming through the windows at the early hour, summer flushing full and bright. Familiar coffee shop sounds and smells carried across the empty cafe as he strolled in, hands in his pockets, taking in the quaint tables and mismatched chairs, an overstuffed sofa invitingly empty in one corner. Cute. He shuffled towards the counter, not really looking, till he heard a voice welcoming him in and-

She turned around from the brewing machine behind her, smiling soft and brilliant, her eyes a 6 am combination of sleepy brightness, caffeine buzzing in her own veins already.

One hit. That’s all it took to get him hooked.

*********

Her shift couldn’t have ended soon enough. The bright sun and gorgeous summer weather had her itching under her apron, aching to get outdoors in spite of the heat. Every few minutes it seemed she turned to the register to check the time, or slipped her phone from her pocket. Never quite time, never quite close enough. Until-

“Okay, if you’ll just wipe down the bar, you’re good to go,” Nat sighs as she ties her apron, looping the strings around her waist and knotting it in the front. Nat usually takes afternoon and evening shifts, so they haven’t gotten to know each other well, but there’s something about the redhead that she both likes and fears.

With a little whoop of joy, she whirls around to her bucket and grabs the rag for the last time (today at least) and wipes away the splashes of syrup, coffee, and milk that have accumulated over the course of her shift. The counter is a little sticky, but a little elbow grease dissolves the tacky syrup puddle, and with a flourish she stows her carton of coconut milk in the fridge under the counter, tosses her rag back in the bucket, and flashes a peace sign to the other baristas on the floor.

“Alright, I’m out you guys!” she calls, already tugging her apron over her head. Her tote bag hangs on a hook in the back of house, and she rolls the apron up into it before stepping over to the computer to clock out.

“Whatcha doin’ this afternoon?” Bea is off now as well, having handed off the keys to Nat, and was tucking her own apron into her backpack, her Juul sticking out of one corner of her mouth.

“Mm. It’s such a beautiful day…” she sighs. “I think I’m going to go read at that new place I like, get a cold brew, maybe sit outside.”

“Leaving this coffee shop and going to another one?” Bea laughs, taking a hit off her vape, a little cloud puffing in front of her face. She’s not supposed to have it inside the building, definitely not supposed to use it inside at least, but the current manager hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to tell her to stop, so she carries on as she pleases.

“Gotta support local business.” She swings her tote bag up on her shoulder, regretting her habit of stuffing it so full that it’s uncomfortably heavy, and then she’s on her way out the door. “See ya later!”

Besides being a proud supporter of local businesses, she’s also totally addicted to the Garage - the other café and pub she frequents whenever she gets the chance. Their cold brew? Smooth and chocolatey. Their patio? Perfectly shaded and comfortable. Their vibe? Grunge-y without being dirty, hipster without being pretentious. She’d loved it from the first moment she stepped inside on her afternoon off, looking for an iced drink and a cozy spot that wasn’t her own home. What she found? A near-perfect coffee shop with amazing sweet potato fries.

“Oh, hey welcome in!”

Well. And there’s that, too.

“Hi, Bucky - how’s it going?” she smiles at the barista and bartender behind the counter, who is currently stocking the pastry case with an assortment of mouthwatering scones. His hair is swept up in its usual bun, and his mechanic’s shirt is tucked into a pair of black jeans, the short sleeves rolled over his biceps to reveal one flesh arm bearing a full sleeve of tattoos, and one gleaming polished prosthetic.

“Oh, it’s going,” he shrugs, a little bashful. He wills his eyes back down the the pastries at hand, though it’s hard with the way she smiles, hands in the back pockets of her shorts as she approaches the counter.

“Been busy today?” she asks, giving the menu a customary glance, though she’s too far gone on their cold brew to ever order anything else.

“Not too bad, no,” he shakes his head, sliding the glass panel behind the pastry case shut and tossing paper box from the bakery in the trash bin. “Little bit of a rush earlier around lunch, but nothing like what you guys get in the mornings.”

“Oof, for your sake I hope not,” she shudders. “The morning rush is wild, you’ve got no idea.”

“Oh, I’ve got some idea, I’ve seen that drive thru line,” he smirks, leaning his elbows on the counter. Unconsciously she takes a step closer, leaning against the other side of the wood, a mere couple of feet between them.

“I’m literally triggered by the words ‘drive thru’,” she says, with an exaggerated eye twitch that makes him laugh.

“Alright, alright, I won’t bring it up again, my bad,” he raises his hands in supplication, an almost prayer, watching her nose wrinkle and rearrange the pattern of the freckles there.

“Well, anyways, can I get a cold brew, please?” she sighs, looking at him under her lashes.

“You got it,” he nods, tapping the counter. “Perfect day for it, too.” They both glance out the wide front windows of the café, where the patio furniture is arranged under a well-shaded awning strung with criss-crossed globe lights. In the midsummer afternoon, it’s a perfect place to be lazy in public, to sip a drink and read, to pretend to be the sort of person who gets to do those things in the middle of the day.

“It is,” she sighs, looking wistfully at the patio.

“You can go on and get a seat,” he lowers his voice as a couple new customers shuffle into the café. “I’ll bring it out to you.”

“Oh, you sure?” She glances around, noticing that he seems to be the only staff member here. Their shop is laughably less busy than hers, able to survive on a single barista for any length of time during the day, but she still doesn’t want to make more work for him. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Nah, it’s no problem,” he smiles, dimpling his scruffy cheeks. “I’ll have it out in a minute.”

She’s back out the door and at her favorite table; he can see her from his place behind the bar, with her feet tucked up on the sturdy outdoor ottoman, her bag stuffed under her chair and book already cracked open in her lap. She’s not looking at the page, though - the beautiful day seems to distract her, as she lifts her face into the breeze and stretches her legs out further across the ottoman, spreading out to catch even more of the sunlight.

Wanda hip checks him as she breezes through from the kitchen, having come in through the back door.

“Your girl here today?” she teases, raising one brow suggestively. Bucky scowls at her, embarrassed and flustered and a little guilty.

“She’s not my girl, Wanda,” he corrects her. “She’s just a customer.”

“Pretty regular customer,” Wanda shrugs.

“Doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got plenty of regulars.”

“No other regulars that you look at like that.”

He doesn’t respond. Turning his back on her, he takes a straw from the condiment bar and grabs the cup of cold brew he just poured, and stalks around the counter towards the door.

Wanda stands in the kitchen door, a bin full of dirty dishes under her arm, and watches as he crosses the patio, tucking one hair behind his ear and smiling at the sweet girl with the book in her lap. The girl smiles back, squinting in the bright summer sun, and laughs at something Bucky says, while Buck ducks his head and shoves his hands in his front pockets. He lingers, lingers far longer than required for delivering a single cup of cold brew.

Yeah, sure. She’s just a regular, alright.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky x reader #steve x reader #steve x you #steve x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #steve rogers x reader fic #bucky x reader fic #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes imagine

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halequeenjas · 4 years ago

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Class, Sass, and a Little Bass || Evelyn & Jasmine

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @thronesofshadows & @halequeenjas SUMMARY: While visiting the Artesian, Jasmine notices Evelyn seems a bit down. Being the good Samaritan she is, she takes Evelyn out for a night on the town.

The last time she’d been to the Artesian, Jasmine couldn’t help but notice that Evelyn seemed a bit glum. It was something she decided simply wouldn’t do. She’d insisted that they go out and have a night on the town to help the other woman get in better spirits. Jasmine pulled a few strings with the club owner and had them both on the VIP list. With endless wine and dancing, there was no way Evelyn was going to go stay sad for long. Being responsible adults who weren’t going to drive around town drunk, they had a driver for the evening. This evening, she donned a little red dress with her favorite pair of black Louboutins. Evelyn, of course, was also dressed to the aces and Jasmine linked arms with her. “You’re going to love this place. They have a huge selection of wine and the music is great,” Jasmine assured her friend, “Plus, the saxophone player is totally yummy.”

For someone who liked to pride herself on doing her best to not show emotions, Evelyn knew that recently she had been less successful than usual. Not that she entirely minded when Jasmine had commented on it - the other woman was both a friend and undoubtedly one of Evelyn’s favorite customers, though ever since they’d first hit it off, it felt a bit odd considering her anything but a friend. Which was why she’d so readily agreed to go out for the night when she’d been invited. She was appreciative of anything that helped her get her mind off of everything else. She’d worn an especially flattering black dress and had pulled on a new pair of heels. With a grin, she turned to her friend. “I find myself loving it quite a bit already, though I am certain the company of a lovely friend without a doubt contributes to that.” She bit her lip. “Well, you will have to show me this saxophone player. Though I think we ought to start with drinks. What will you be having?”

One of the reasons she’d always loved this club was the contagious energy. Nothing like a little swing and fine wine to keep your spirits high. While Jasmine didn’t quite know why Evelyn seemed a bit down, she knew if anyone could bring some cheer, it was her. Whatever it was, she doubted her friend would be down for too long. She was far too beautiful, rich, and sophisticated to stay down. If Jasmine were to wager, she’d say she was already feeling better. She smiled brightly at her friend and responded, “I know you’d love it here. Jazz is so much classier than regular club music… not that I hate the regular clubs, but this dancing actually requires skill. And the wine selection is way better.” She leaned an arm on the bar and gave the bartender her most sparkling grin. “A bottle of Chateau La Tour White Blend, please.” She turned back to Evelyn and added, “I figured we both enjoy wine and white wine has a nice summer-y feel to it. I’m personally trying to enjoy these last bits of summer which I think requires one last pool day. I’ll definitely point out the sax player though I’m sure the whole band will be captivated with us once we start dancing.” Once, the bartender handed them an ice bucket and their wine, she took them in hand and asked, “Do you prefer one of the hightops or one of the sofa lounge tables?”

“Well, you do know me.” Evelyn grinned. “I agree. I mean, as a former ballet dancer, this is not my typical style, but I do have some practice in it. I have always adored any sort of proper dancing.” She looked over to Jasmine as the other woman ordered a bottle of wine. “You do continue to have excellent taste. No proper offense to most of this town, but why on earth do so few people understand class? Or have properly good taste in anything?” She ran a hand through her hair, letting it fall over her shoulder. “You chose a good one, speaking as the resident wine expert of the two of us. Enjoying summer is an absolute must.” She tapped her red nails against the countertop as she glanced around the bar. “Good, though I agree. I mean, between the two of us, how could anyone think to look away?” At Jasmine’s question, she tapped her fingers against her chin. “I think a lounge table sounds quite nice, personally. If that works for you, that is?”

It was pretty easy for Jasmine to imagine Evelyn dancing ballet. She hadn’t really done it since before she was a teenager, but she’d always preferred jazz dance classes. It was a little more upbeat and fun. “Somehow, it’s no surprise that you’ve done ballet dancing. I did too when I was younger though I enjoyed the jazz classes more,” she started before she grinned wryly and added, “I can lead the way through the jazz dancing.” She set the wine down at the small table in front of the couch. It was a cozy little spot only open to those who made the VIP list. They had a good view of the stage while still maintaining a bit of privacy to chat freely. “Good taste in wine is surprisingly not an automatic, even among wealthy people. One of the richest people I know sent me a bottle of wine for Christmas that was yes, expensive, but just not good. The notes in wine are supposed to be subtle and have finesse. I don’t want my wine to taste like I’m gnawing on a piece of oak,” she noted dramatically. She ended up trashing that bottle of wine, not that her client needed to know that. “You’re totally right,” she agreed brightly, “It’s nice and cozy over here. Good view of the stage and we still have a bit of freedom to chat amongst ourselves without anyone hearing. Speaking of--” She sneakily pointed to one of the saxophone players. He was wearing a white suit with coral accents and his skin always looked sun kissed like he had just spent a day on the beach… which was a hazard in this town, but a girl could dream of beach days with beautiful people. “That’s the saxophone player I was telling you about. His name is Ray. Not the brightest bulb in the box, but he’s talented and definitely nice to look at.”

“My mother was in the Royal Ballet, so even though she was not around, I felt drawn to it. A way to be connected to her, I suppose.” Evelyn shrugged again.”You did? Well, perhaps you will have to teach me more sometime. Though for now, I am more than okay with you leading the way.” Sitting down, she took another glance around the club. She appreciated people like Jasmine - people who understood how to appreciate the finer things in life. Though she did not regret leaving London, she did sometimes miss the elegance that came with the city. At least, the parts of it that she had been a part of. “Well, I do own a bar, so I think that gives me a bit of a leg up, but you are correct, money does not guarantee taste in wine. I certainly have horror stories, even from my own bar.” She made a small face. “Oh yuck, that sounds horrible.” Evelyn nodded along to Jasmine’s words, following where she was pointing. “I do appreciate the privacy that it provides. For all I can enjoy showing off, I also enjoy not having my conversations with friends broadcast for the whole world to see.” Crossing her legs, she gave a satisfied nod at the saxophone player. “I can see what you mean. If nothing else, I can always appreciate good looks and good talent.” Evelyn turned to face Jasmine and held up the bottle of wine. “Might I pour you a glass?”

“Wow, talk about incredible. I get wanting to have that connection to her, I’m still just impressed she was in the Royal Ballet,” Jasmine said with wide eyes. With how much Evelyn spent on her home, it was no shock that she came from old money, but still, the Royal Ballet was one hell of a status indicator. It explained the refined elegance that Evelyn seemed to have about her. “Some time might start tonight because especially after some wine, I’ll definitely feel like dancing.” Hanging out with Evelyn was different than most of her high school friends. Even the ones with money weren’t nearly as refined. She had to admit she wasn’t even as much so growing up in American culture. How many classic night club evenings had she had with Bea and Leah? There was something more appealing about this though she wouldn’t trade those late nights closing out the clubs either. She supposed she could enjoy both the finer things in life and the more basic things. She laughed easily and agreed, “Yes, owning the nicest bar in town, I’d hope you have good taste in wine. I've personally never been disappointed with your choices.” It seemed they agreed the saxophone player was nice to look at. Not as nice to look at as either of them, but that was a tall order. “A glass of wine sounds perfect,” she responded with a wide smile. “So,” she started off unable to quell her curiosity, “I know tonight is a fun night, but if you’d like to talk about anything going on, I can be a good listener when I feel like it.”

“For a few years, yes. It is how she and my father met. She was quite impressive.” Any of that sort of information was surface-level enough - and furthermore, it was information that came up if anyone searched for Evelyn anyhow - and she had very much wanted to be like her mother in many ways, even if being a dancer like her was not the primary one. However, it was one that she could connect with others about, even if they did not have the exact same shared experience. “It would be an honor to dance with you tonight, so please do let me know when it strikes your fancy.” It was nice, having someone like Jasmine around. A valuable, though uncomplicated friendship. Something she found herself craving more and more lately. “I do my research if the occasion calls for it, and while I may have not been a wine expert for years, I have always had good taste in many things, I think, and so it only took a little bit of reading when I decided that this was what the town needed. Thank goodness you both know how to sell the best houses in town and you appreciate my place of business.” She let a small smile cross her lips and she opened the bottle and poured each of them a generous glassful. “Most of all, I am quite pleased to consider you a friend. The others are simply added bonuses.” She took a sip of her wine as she considered Jasmine’s question. “I broke up with the person who I was seeing. Trying to move past that. Clearly not as smoothly as I might have liked. I never saw myself as the sort to react in such a way to romance, after all.”

“Oh my god, that sounds like something out of a rom com,” Jasmine commented somewhat incredulously. She was almost positive her own parents had married for money, not that they didn’t love each other, but it seemed like a primary factor of their marriage. They had both been very business minded. “After some wine and when the perfect song strikes, I’ll do just that.” It was nice to relax a little bit. Before visiting, she had placed wards around the building. She’d helped the owner buy his house and with an exorcism later on, so he had not qualms with her keeping wards up so she could enjoy some Larry Bob free evenings out. Plus, she’d surely have a hard time explaining a poltergeist to what was arguably her most normal friend. And definitely not in an average way. Evelyn was definitely classy and something else, but she didn’t want her thinking she was a freak. She found her fingers drumming along to the upbeat melodies of the trumpet and smiled as Evelyn spoke. “Oh makes sense, we’re still young. Research and learning is always applicable… especially when it comes to wine. And shoes,” she added the last part eagerly. If shoes being a hobby was wrong, Jasmine didn’t want to be right. “I’m pleased you’re my friend as well. The same could be said of you.” Evelyn was particularly great at gift giving, but her company was just as great. She frowned a bit at the mention of a breakup and the way she seemed to scoff at romance. She braced herself with a sip of wine before she said, “Oh, breakups are totally the worst. It’s not like you date people with the intention of ever breaking up, but sometimes it just happens. And hey!” She gave her a small nudge on the arm, “Romance is an okay thing to be sad over, though I’m positive you’ll find your person sooner rather than later. I mean-- you’re hot, you’re rich, you’re smart, you’re classy-- literally anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Believe it or not, you are not the first person to tell me that.” Evelyn grinned. Despite having very little knowledge of actual rom-coms, from all that she did know, her parents’ marriage and meeting did sound like that. The deeper reality was far more complicated, and not something she often got into. Besides, some part of her liked to believe that her parents had been entirely in love up until her father found out about the fact that her mother wasn’t human. It was one of the few amounts of naïvety that she still held fast to. “I look forward to this quite a bit.” This night out was absolutely something that she needed - and though jazz was not normally the sort of music she listened to, Billy did have a fondness for jazz piano playing at the Artesian and so in the past few years she had come to be more aware, and she preferred it to whatever sort of electronic music that she knew was popular at most clubs these days. “We are indeed still young. Besides, why not make things into a learning opportunity. I must admit, I find it especially satisfactory to tell certain customers of mine all about wine, particularly because they rarely expect me to have such deep knowledge, despite owning the place. I have done a fair bit of reading about business and stocks as well, mostly out of spite. I do not like being put down, and if I can show them up when they are acting especially stuck up, all the better.” She took a sip of her wine and offered Jasmine a grin. “I am glad to hear all of that.” She ran a hand through her hair. “They are rather terrible, I must admit.” Evelyn bit her lip. “Well, thank you. You are all of those things and more. I think that in this case, I just thought that my ex was possibly my person. I suppose I do not like to be wrong.” She took another sip of her wine. “Is it wrong to still want to talk to him? Even though I feel mad, and I am certain he feels the same - or rather more certain that he wants to get rid of any memory of me? He left a box at my house with everything I had left by his house.” Evelyn shook her head. “At least I know that I have friends like you,” she gave Jasmine a small nudge back, “who are excellent at knowing just when I need a distraction.”

“Then it must be true,” Jasmine responded happily as she took another sip of the refreshing white wine in front of her. She could only hope her life eventually got its romantic comedy moment, but she wasn’t too worried about it. Outside a pesky poltergeist that wouldn’t leave her alone, she was doing well for herself and was happy with where she was. It only made her happier that Evelyn was all ready to do some jazz dancing with her. There had to be some sort of science somewhere that said it was impossible to be sad when buzzed on white wine and dancing to jazz. If not, maybe she’d fund that study. Her hands made a small clap as she exclaimed, “I love that. It’s always satisfying to surprise people older and more experienced than you with your knowledge. I imagine some of the older men must be the worst about that.” Was she snobby herself? Yes. Snobby old men still annoyed her to no end. Especially the older realtors who thought she didn’t have a place in the business yet still handed off the haunted houses they couldn’t sell to her. Selling them at record speed always showed them. It didn’t erase the annoying factor of having to prove she was worthy of respect. She nodded along as Evelyn spoke about her ex. She could relate easily enough. She had thought Josh was going to be her forever person until she found out about his side fling. If there was one thing she would not stand for, it was cheating. “I get what you mean. It is a crappy feeling to think someone is supposed to be that person for you and then they’re just not,” she said almost wistfully. She finished off her first glass and poured some more for herself. She gestured to see if Evelyn would like more. “Oh, dropping off your stuff is a rough part and I think it makes sense to still want to talk to him. I mean, you were a big part of each other’s lives and it’s hard to shake that, but you have to. Men take that as groveling or wanting them back even if it’s not the case. I take it things ended poorly?” The last part did make her smile a bit. “Glad to be here and bring some cheer.”

“It must be, I suppose.” Evelyn raised an eyebrow at her friend. Focusing on thoughts about her parents was not a good road to go down, particularly not right now. Not when that reminded her too much of everything she sought to ignore - when it provided her with memories of her first anxieties of not belonging. Of that time with her mother’s journals and the look on her father’s face that was forever etched into her memory. “Right? It is the best. Truly.” Making a face at Jasmine’s next comment, Evelyn gave a nod. “Oh, they are. It is particularly delightful when they think they can both hit on me and talk down to me. I remember when I first opened the place that I got to give a good few of them a shock when they found out that I owned the place.” Though she was well-aware that she could be stuck up herself at times, it was never in the same way that some of her customers were. “Exactly.” She forced herself to relax. This wasn’t her bar, and breaking a glass here would not end well - besides, the last thing she wanted was to cut herself and have her utterly delightful though wholly normal friend push her away. Taking in a deep breath, she adjusted her focus back on Jasmine. “Not used to it, I suppose. Though,” she bit her lip, “I mean, I was not exactly raised with the idea that showing all of my emotions is a good thing. So all of this was a bit overwhelming.” She scrunched her nose. “That much is also quite possibly the wine talking. Maybe my tolerance is not what it used to be.” It didn’t stop her from taking another sip before nodding for Jasmine to fill up her glass again. “We were. For four months.” Evelyn shook her head. “Yes, I am not going to give him that. Ended poorly? You could say that. He was not everything I thought he was, and I might have reacted strongly to that. But it is fine. I just worry a bit about running into him in town.” However, Jasmine’s smile brought one of her own across her face. “Glad to have you.” She took another long sip of wine.

Older generations of men really were something else. Jasmine couldn’t easily understand how a woman of any age would be attracted to them, but she assumed it had something to do with their wealth. Was wealth worth the complete loss of self respect? She’d say no and that was saying a lot. “Show them just how smart women can be. Who said we couldn’t have beauty and brains,” she asked playfully. At the mention of these same men hitting on her, Jasmine was not all surprised. For whatever reason, certain men thought mansplaining was attractive or something. It wasn’t. Respect was way more attractive, but some men just needed to feel like they were better than literally everyone. Usually that meant overcompensating. With a laugh, she retorted, “Oh, of course they do! Have to act all mighty and treat you like you’re dumb to show how great they are before they hit on you. Any woman with an ounce of self respect wouldn’t put up with that crap.” As she spoke more of her ex, Jasmine frowned a bit. It was clear she was really going through it and she wanted to go off on a limb and say no man was worth this much distress, but she’d had some rough break ups herself. “I can see that. You seem like a woman who is usually right, but some people are better at hiding who they are which makes it easy to be wrong about them,” she tried to assure. Sage wisdom wasn’t necessarily her forte unless it came to designer clothing and the best makeup products. Life-- well, she’d made a name for herself, but she was still figuring shit out too. They all were. She shook her head, “Hey, we’re all allowed to show emotion from time to time. We’re not robots. I don’t think they’ve figured out how to make robots look this hot just yet.” She cracked a smile at the last part and gestured to them. As suspected, it had ended poorly. “Well, it’s not your fault he wasn’t who you thought he was. Some things can be serious deal breakers and a woman of your standard is bound to have some of those. All I know for sure is you’ll find someone way better for you. I mean, come on, who could resist that Evelyn charm?” She gave her friend another playful nudge and finished off the last of the wine. She took her friend’s hand and said, “Come on, we’re dancing now. Trust me when I say it’s impossible to be sad while dancing to a song with some good swing.” Though Evelyn boasted she was more of a ballet dancer, she caught on quick as Jasmine led them through some moves. The energy seemed to be enough to have Evelyn in mostly good spirits again so Jasmine would consider the night a success.

#wickedswriting #class sass and a little bass #as always writing with emily is a TREAT

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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1182

What was the last thing you bought at a store? When did you buy this? I went to a Korean mart last week to get a BTS Chilsung Cider and a BTS Hot Brew lmao. Just one of each since I had blown out my budget on other merch + my birthday dinner. I’ll complete my collection for both some other time.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? I’m at the rooftop and I can hear an airplane flying above me at the moment. I also have music playing.

What color is the kitchen in the house you’re in, painted? The walls are mostly white but it also has some peach-ish tiles by the sink and water dispenser.

Do you live in a town where basically everyone knows everyone else? Nah. That would obviously be the case for residential subdivisions, but not in the town/city I live in. Way too big/populated.

When was the last time you or someone else in your family bought a vehicle? I think it was in 2017 when we got the Vitara? We sold it last year though.

Are your grandparents the kind who are very protective of you? Not so much. They know I can handle myself and that I tend to be independent, so they don’t really coddle me. They will always make sure I eat plenty whenever I come over, though.

Have you ever, or do you live on a farm at this moment in time? I’ve never lived on a farm.

When was the last time you had any kind of chips? What kind were they? Piattoooooos. They were my favorite as a kid and I ate them almost daily, to the point that I got sick of them and didn’t eat them for years. But earlier this week one of my aunts got us a pack and I found myself kind of missing them, so I got a few chips. The one I had was the cheese-flavored one.

Are you one of those people who can’t help but download everything they find? Lately I’ve been doing that only for whatever photo of Kim Taehyung I see floating on the internet that I don’t have saved yet.

How many things in the past have you bought off eBay? What things? I’ve never bought from eBay, but I also don’t know if we have that here. My last purchase from an online shopping app was a pack of fan-made BTS Polaroids.

Are you or the people you live with pack rats? This is she, lol. I have hoarding tendencies, but they’re not too destructive. At this point I am also increasingly noticing that I’ve taken this survey LOL, but I’m too whatever to care.

Were you always one of those kids who got in trouble with everyone around? Nah, I was quite well-behaved as a kid. Too behaved, actually; I preferred being a wallflower and only started opening up by the end of high school.

When was the last time you took a nap? Did it relax you any? Last weekend. I took naps to escape the summer heat, so it wasn’t comfortable in any way. I woke up cranky and in a pool of my own sweat both times.

Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut? No.

Can you text quickly?: I can type fast, if that’s what you mean. But when it comes to replying, I only do it when I feel like it. I don’t pressure myself to respond immediately.

Do you like fast food or does it disgust you?: I unashamedly love fast food.

Have you got a hairdresser that you can trust?: Nah, I rarely go to the salon to have my hair done anyway. I mostly do so for my yearly trims, and I always go to different ones every time.

Do you wear a lot of make up?: I never wear makeup.

Do you get nervous before exams? If it was a class I knew I was struggling in, then yeah the nerves would usually kick in.

What’s your favorite alcoholic drink?: Cocktails.

Do you watch Big Brother?: Not a fan.

Do you like the smell of BBQs?: Loooooove it.

Do you crash on people’s sofas often?: Not really. I’m usually shy about visiting other people’s homes.

Do wasps scare you?: Yup, and that goes for all kinds of bugs as well.

Have you ever had to spend the night at a hospital? Just once. Fortunately I haven’t really run into a lot of health issues.

Have you ever bought clothing online? Not so much, since I like seeing the item first before buying it. I did make my first clothing purchase online recently though! – I got a pair of IVP shoes and I’m glad they ended up fitting me perfectly. I finally got to use them today when I had to go out this morning for a work errand.

Have you ever worn flipflops in the snow? I’ve never encountered snow.

In December, were you single or taken? Single.

Were you happy when you woke up today? I think I was more disoriented than anything. I kept thinking it was Friday and that I had to start waking up properly for work; it took a while for me to realize it was Saturday and I could sleep in if I wanted to.

What mood are you in right now? Exhilarated. BTS comeback teaser just happened, and I might just have done another stupid impulsive purchase. K-Pop is such a dangerous black hole to fall into ;________;

Who was the last person you rode in a car with that was under 21? I think it may have been my siblings.

What are you currently hearing right now? RM rapping into my headphones.

How much clothes do you have in your closet? Do people actually keep track of how many articles of clothing they have, down to socks and all? Lmao I wouldn’t be able to give you an exact number, but I can tell you I don’t have anything close to a gigantic wardrobe.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? I called up LBC to ask for assistance about a shipment I needed to handle for work. They weren’t too helpful so I ended up having to go to a nearby physical branch this morning.

Do you regret anything from your past? Little things here and there, but nothing that haunts me day in and out.

Did you speak to your father today? Yes.

Have you ever hugged a complete stranger? I don’t think so.

Who was the last person to compliment you? I had my regularization evaluation with Bea sometime last week – I guess the general feedback she gave counts as a compliment? They were all very positive and I’m glad that was the case. I’ve always been conscious about my performance, so I’m just happy it was all validated and recognized.

Do you often use the term “slut”? Only as a joke to call myself when I’m feeling frisky.

Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past 24 hours? LOL I bought something again 5 minutes ago even when I told myself my purchase before that (which I bought THIS MORNING) was going to be the last...someone needs to lock my goddamn bank account

#survey #surveys

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adapembroke · 6 years ago

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A Self-Indugent-ly-Long Post about Working with Odin

I celebrated two milestones over the weekend. The first is reaching 2500 followers on beamagical. (?! This blog is three and a half months old!) The second is the one year anniversary of officially becoming devoted to Odin. (He prefers to call it “coming under his protection.”) Considering this blog was his idea (Bea is a name he gave me), I wouldn’t be surprised if he tweaked some algorithm to make that followers milestone and the anniversary of our ritual happen on the same day.

I don’t talk about Odin here much. Mostly that’s because I haven’t talked much about spirit work in general. I used to include Odin in my description, but tumblr started recommending I follow certain hateful people, and when I took Odin’s name out of my description, the suggestions went back to nature aesthetics, fairies, and Tarot cards. I’m probably playing Russian roulette writing a post with Odin’s name in it fifty times, but gambling was sacred to the ancient Northern Europeans, so I guess this is a perversely appropriate way to celebrate.

The other reason I don’t talk about Odin much is that we have a very odd relationship. I don’t worship him. (I don’t worship anyone.) I don’t do offerings or sacrifices. I’m not a Reconstructionist or Heathen. I don’t do the wheel of the year, so I’m not even a very good Pagan. I very rarely drink alcohol, and I don’t consider myself to be a warrior of any kind--certainly not anything like a Viking. My mother’s mother’s people were probably either Norse or Anglo-Saxon at some point. (Their native county in England was part of the Danelaw.) But, before the Millennials in my family killed mainstream Christianity, her family had been Baptists for almost 400 years.

How did he come into my life, then? Divination, of course, and, well, vanity. It was in May 2016. I was getting ready to go to a Tarot class and half-listening to my partner channeling his guide-at-the-time, who was encouraging me to get into the runes. His argument went roughly along the lines of: What kind of diviner are you if you don’t cast runes?

I yes-yesed him and stepped away to look out the window and think about it. I was dubious about having anything to do with Odin. My only associations with him were Vikings, certain hateful people who claimed to follow him, and an essay by Galina Krasskova that made working with him sound really unappealing.

As I thought, I felt an unmistakable presence loom up behind me, standing there as if I’d summoned him.

Playing along seemed to be the wisest thing to do, so I said, “I know who I am, and I know who you are, and I thought you should know that.”

I still have no idea what that means.

“You’re kind of a bitch, aren’t you?” he said.

And that was the end of our first conversation.

His presence stayed with me the rest of the day. The message was clear: If I wanted the runes, I would get Odin, too. In retrospect, I’m stunned by my decision, but my vanity beat out my objections, and I bought a set of runes.

Later that afternoon, I set about to blood my runes. I had a friend who had failed to blood hers, and she was convinced she was cursed because of it. I had no intention of letting the same thing happen to me, so I took the first knife I could find and pressed it to my finger, and it wouldn’t pierce my skin. Granted, it was a crappy steak knife. (Like I said, I was really desperate to avoid that curse.) But it made me step back long enough to hear that he didn’t want me to make that sacrifice. He still doesn’t. It’s been almost three years now, and I haven’t given a drop of blood to a rune stone. Or to Odin.

This is the part of the story where I’m supposed to talk about how misunderstood Odin is. The truth is a lot more complicated.

Frankly, he’s a pain in the ass. The first thing he did after I officially became devoted to him was take divination, what is probably my most marketable skill, and forbid me to accept money for readings. I know that he’s Doing Something, but it’s been a year, and he’s said nothing about it to me. By which I mean: My incessant questions haven’t worn him down.

I don’t think Odin will ever send me into battle (even if it would be hilarious to watch), but I have no doubt that he’s a God of War. With me, that comes out in being a hard teacher. He’s fond of setting me challenges that are exactly as much as I can handle and standing there with his arms crossed like a sergeant watching me sweat. He watches over me while I do readings, but his help usually takes the form of shouting, “The moon. Don’t forget the fucking moon!”

But, in his way, he’s unbelievably kind. In my opinion, his reputation as a healer has been vastly understated. The first rune spells he taught me were healing ones. In the rare instances when I forget that alcohol isn’t my friend, and I wake up with a hangover, he talks me through putting together hangover remedies that never fail to make me feel better. And when I’m in a genuinely bad place--not just whining about something I don’t want to do--he gives comfort that really means something.

I’m the last person I would expect to work with Odin. I can be so sunny people regularly think that I must actually be picking a fight with them. What interest could a God of War possibly have in someone like that? Well, now that I say that, maybe his reasons for bringing me under his protection make a bit of sense after all.

#odin #norse #spirit work #norse polytheism

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Ali & Ro

Ali: what's wrong Ro: What do you mean? There's nothing wrong Ro: I'm fine, thank you Ali: why aren't you talking to us then Ro: We are talking Ro: As for her, I have no idea who she is, so forgiven me for being hesitant Ali: She goes to School with us Ali: has done for like Ali: ever Ro: Well, I've never seen her before Ali: now's the perfect chance to meet her then Ro: When she's taken god knows what, I don't think so Ali: whatever she's taken doesn't impair your ability to be courteous, does it Ali: she was being perfectly nice to you and you were quite rude, frankly Ro: Telling me how pretty I am isn't nice, it's superficial Ali: you don't lose humility points by accepting compliments, come on Ali: if anything, what did Shakespeare say about protesting too much Ro: If anything, I lose credibility for accepting compliments that are clearly that false Ro: Particularly from someone who won't remember the interaction tomorrow Ali: How is that clear Ali: at all Ro: No girls are that nice, not to me Ro: Whatever she's setting me up for, I wish for no part in Ali: not to her either, if you cast your mind back, I'm sure you'll recall her name and the bitchery attached if nothing else Ali: that's just how she is, or how high people are, if you'd prefer Ali: it's genuine Ro: Oh, that's who she is. Now it makes sense why you've taken her under your protective wing for the day Ali: excuse me? Ro: You are very much a patron saint of lost causes at times, dear sister Ro: It's genuinely to be applauded Ro: I can do that from afar though Ali: Can you? Ali: because you're doing a poor job if you claim you are currently Ro: All I'm claiming at the moment is that the spectacle of the two of you is a little much to witness in such close quarters Ali: we're enjoying the BBQ Ali: it is meant to be a party Ro: It's a family BBQ, there's very little cause or need for celebration attached Ali: that might be how you wanna do it Ali: but not me Ro: Clearly Ro: It's very apparent you wish to have your cake & eat it, regardless of whether or not you leave the grill well enough alone Ali: I'm not sure you're very sure of anything right now Ali: least of all what you think of me and my intentions Ali: just ask me Ali: or say what you mean, at the very least Ro: I'm sure I don't see your girlfriend here, and yet, I somehow I almost do Ro: The next at the very least Ali: For one, Carly is straight Ali: and for two, I'm not going to make you break up with her for me, even if I was, so there's no need to concern yourself with that Ro: I'm not sure you're very sure of her of her or her intentions, Ali Ali: I take people at face value Ali: for better or worse Ali: I'm not forcing you to do the same but surface level is a little beneath all of us, no? Ro: Is she not a little beneath you? Ali: no Ali: who is Ali: what do you even mean by that Ro: Would you or would you not be in this vastly inappropriate state right now if she was not here Ro: She's bad news is what I therefore mean Ali: I'm high, I'm not Ali: shouting racial slurs or denying the holocaust, Lord Ali: and I've been high, plenty of times Ali: a second ago you didn't know her now you're certain she's bad news Ro: I know what everyone says about her Ro: That she doesn't deny any of it, quite the opposite Ali: so? Ali: like you said, everyone says things about you too Ali: doesn't make it right, even if any of it's true Ro: I'm not proud of being scapegoated, she obviously revels in her reputation, true or otherwise Ro: Is that how you want to be now? Ali: so she should revel in shame instead? Ali: maybe it's how she deals with it, I don't suppose to know Ali: but I don't suppose to say either of you is right or wrong, either so Ro: I'm not saying she's wrong, I'm not saying anything Ali: you don't need to Ali: I know you Ro: If you knew me even slightly you wouldn't be asking me to socialise with her Ali: I'm not asking you to be her best friend, or to even say much of anything at all Ali: just not be outright rude to her when she was polite to you Ali: shy or not, there's no need Ro: I don't know how to respond to that, is all Ro: you wouldn't take it so personally if you weren't so invested in this girl all of a sudden Ali: yes I would Ali: you being rude to any of my friends Ali: or guests, frankly, as I said, no need Ali: even if you have to resort to an awkward laugh and a thanks, your reply doesn't have to match in sincerity Ro: Knowing me, as you claim, you'd be aware that I was not rude in the slightest Ro: Walking away when you have nothing nice to say is in fact the polite approach, supposedly Ali: so now I don't know you? Ali: this is just silly Ali: but fine, if that's how you'd like it, I'll take a leaf from your book Ro: You're in a silly mood & not one that I'm here to entertain, that, indeed, is what your guest is for Ali: A silly mood Ali: Patronizing, for a start Ro: Well, again, you'll have to forgive me because that is how Tess is choosing to behave towards me in light of your every action and the frustrations for her therein Ro: You get to do as you please & I have to wage war over quantities of salad that have or have not touched my plate & so Ro: Here we find ourselves Ro: On opposite sides of this party Ali: I suddenly have control over her Ali: she'd pull you up on that regardless, you know she would Ali: perhaps more politely or gently but seems tempers are flaring as hot as the weather calls for Ro: You have control over yourself, or would, if you were not intoxicated by & with your guest Ro: & I would have someone to distract me from the torment if you remembered that I'm also on the list of invited people Ali: you don't know what I'm on, even, nor the effects Ali: again, if you'd have just asked me, I'd tell you Ali: I can't very well leave her alone as soon as we arrive Ali: especially when everyone is being as unwelcoming as possible Ro: You can very well leave me alone & yet still expect me to be welcoming Ali: I've not left you alone Ali: I was trying to talk to you Ro: You were trying to get me to talk to her, it's entirely different Ali: again, what am I going to do Ali: tell her to go away for a second whilst we have a private conversation Ali: we have all the time for that Ro: You invited her, you could have not, or warned me that you were Ali: okay, I could have told you, I accept that Ali: I didn't see it being the issue it is but fair Ro: I accept that I was abrupt & could've made her uncomfortable, in spite of it not being my intention Ali: okay Ali: that's fine then Ro: I'll resolve to try harder when I'm not in as much of a trying situation as this Ali: alright Ali: do you want me to talk to mum Ro: No Ro: I want her to stop talking about me like I'm being a problem Ali: I know Ali: that just makes her think she can solve it Ali: if she puts it like that Ali: it's a her thing Ro: Why am I even a topic of conversation, aside from not having one with Carly I've done nothing wrong Ali: they just worry Ali: that's their job Ali: has to be about something Ro: She has plenty of actual things to worry about or real problems to solve Ali: well you know Ali: glutton for punishment or whatever Ro: Well, she should go be a glutton for burgers before the flies are Ali: 😂 Ali: very true Ali: and good idea Ro: My IQ may not match yours point for point but it's sufficient enough for a 💡 or two Ro: On occasion Ali: 😏 okay okay Ro: Even when my enthusiasm has dimmed because Tess is trying to fatten me up for the new school year Ali: it is autumn term Ali: anyway Ali: amount of celery in it there's like, no gain Ro: Anyway, there are no such thing as negative calorie foods Ro: Celery still has 10 per stick Ali: yeah but burn that off by giving mum dirty looks whilst nomming Ali: easy Ro: if you could burn calories with looks she'd be a lot thinner Ali: savage Ro: & Bea would be invisible Ro: Alas, she can very much be seen Ali: not for much longer Ro: Mysterious Ali: not really Ali: uni beckons Ro: She'll still have to show herself, he's here Ali: of course Ali: wouldn't be surprised if he ends up there though Ro: Very little would surprise me when it comes to the two of them Ro: if they actually parted ways for good perhaps Ali: seriously Ro: Cathy & Heathcliff wish they were that intense Ali: what actually constitutes a moor Ali: have to check Ro: Typically, uncultivated hill land Ali: Hmm, reckon we're safe then Ali: technically moutains so Ro: & there are no low lying wetlands either which also constitute moors in the south of England Ali: is where she's going so Ali: cracked it Ali: not about the prestige at all Ro: If she packs a flowing nightdress it's proven Ali: I'll get her one Ali: going away present Ro: I'll embroider something fitting on it, just give me enough time Ali: but of course Ro: I'm sure it'll be extremely appreciated Ali: 'bout all I can afford, sadly Ali: have to get a sugar daddy herself Ro: You could always regift her the work itself, we have a copy that doesn't have too much marginalia as yet, that's free Ali: you should Ali: it's a good idea Ro: Potentially Ro: There are lots of other books I could add too, as applicable in their own ways Ali: quite how she's taking all the stuff she has as is Ali: da will probably have to drive Ro: She'll probably become a minimalist just before Ro: Take almost nothing Ali: with all those clothes? Ali: good luck Ro: Capsule wardrobes are very on trend, apparently Ro: Especially for students Ali: I'll have to Ali: though I'll miss the dressing up cupboard 💔 Ro: You don't have to take shoes, that'll leave room for costumes Ali: 💡 #2 Ro: Just believe, all you have to do Ali: 🙏 Ro: 🌠 Ali: [the fraze stuff happens] Ali: I'll see you later Ali: gonna party on Ro: Oh okay Ro: With or without your friend and brother? Ali: I highly doubt he's going anywhere without Bea's say-so Ro: Is she going to follow you or her wandering eye? Ali: I don't know Ali: she's got the deets Ro: & that's fine with you Ali: Not her keeper, like Ali: no doubt any of 'em will take great delight kicking her out if she don't go of her own freewill Ro: You don't think it's odd that you consider me rude for refusing to engage in conversation but not her for flirting with your brother right in front of you when you've been flirting with each other since you arrived Ro: & goodness knows how long before that Ali: I consider it rude to Bea, at best Ali: just embarrassing for me, and the rest of us Ro: I told you, she's got no shame, you'll need to take a leaf from that same book if you're going to be friends, I think Ali: let's not Ro: Fine, but it's not me you're mad at, let's not pretend that you don't need to address this with her Ali: I'm not mad either Ali: it is what it is Ali: I don't know what you propose I should do Ali: or should want to do, even Ro: It's obvious what you want to do Ali: is it Ro: Yes Ro: To you & the rest of us Ali: It just makes me sad, if anything Ro: You're allowed to be sad that she's not immune to Fraze's charms Ro: We were all hoping for better from her Ali: very droll Ro: Very accurate Ro: I thought she only had her head turned by travelers Ali: it's not that deep, babe Ro: I did say head turned, not heart stolen Ali: like I said, not a big deal Ro: If that's true, why are you sad? Ali: I'm sad FOR her Ali: not because of Ali: that she feels the need to do these things, and would continue without any indication that she should Ro: Earlier you didn't suppose to know how she feels, now you do? Ali: I'm not that dense Ali: can continue to think it's a joke though Ali: I don't care Ro: You can't have it both ways, either it's 'not that deep' & she's free to emerge relatively unscathed as are you, or it is, & it needs to be addressed Ali: Jesus Ali: you don't get it Ali: it's not that deep like Ali: if it wasn't Fraze it'd be someone, anyone else Ali: he's irrelevant to the equation, she's not picked him to be malicious or some shit like that Ro: I understood that perfectly well Ro: & either you're both fine with that or you aren't Ro: Which is it to be Ali: just because it is doesn't mean anyone has to be fine with it Ali: never said that Ali: that's not how life works Ro: if you like her, tell her Ro: that's how life works Ali: it really isn't Ro: Yes it is Ro: pick up a book, turn on the TV, look around Ali: that's not real Ro: Every relationship started with a confession Ro: There's nothing more real Ali: just stop Ro: She'll do it for you eventually, if you're willing to wait & pine Ali: when have I ever pined Ali: you're just being stupid now Ro: Exactly my point, why start now Ali: you were giving me plenty of reasons earlier Ali: I have a girlfriend, she's straight, main two Ro: She clearly likes you too, however she identifies Ali: it isn't that simple Ro: You're making it complicated Ro: before you're even spoken to her Ali: no, I've spoken to her Ali: it was you that hasn't Ro: Oh okay & she said she wasn't interested in you romantically Ali: yeah Ro: Fine Ro: Because you've got a girlfriend or because she prefers boys Ali: because she likes boys, only Ro: Perhaps she's just a tactile person and genuinely very complimentary Ro: But that sounds way less real than anything I said that you disbelieved Ali: I dunno, okay Ali: why are you suddenly so for it though? Ro: Why wouldn't I want you to be happy? Ro: That's rude Ali: isn't she gonna drag me down Ro: I've never made any secret of how I feel about anyone you've chosen to date thus far, just because my feelings are negative towards them doesn't mean yours are Ro: Or should be Ali: neither have I Ali: Carly's going out with Ronan, you know Ro: I doubt she's going out with him Ro: not in any committed way Ali: why Ali: you know exactly how committed he can be Ro: She wouldn't be flirting with you or Fraze if she felt similarly Ali: maybe they're chill like that Ali: can't all be Bea and Fraze Ro: Change committed to traditional in that instance Ali: don't blame them Ro: Of course you wouldn't, if their relationship is open, you have your opportunity to be with her back Ali: charming Ali: I'm not that scheming Ro: I'm not sure your absent girlfriend would agree but I'm not saying that you are Ali: what are you accusing me of on her behalf then, like Ro: I'm not accusing you of anything Ali: 👍 Ro: It's Carly's motives you should be careful of Ro: If you're so certain she's not interested, well, she's definitely enjoying your attention Ali: it's no effort for me Ali: she can have it Ro: Until it makes you sad Ali: it won't Ali: no more than I can handle Ali: don't worry Ro: That's impossible, telling me not to worry is like telling the stars not to come out or trying to change the tides Ali: well Ali: I know that Ali: but you don't need to worry about me, yeah Ali: like you said, more important, real things, yeah? Ro: it is real, I saw it Ro: & you're my favourite person to worry about, on account of being my favourite person that exists beyond the pages of a book Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: I'll come for Hermione etc crown one day Ro: You'll need strong magic Ali: I know you're never doubting my magik Ro: I like to hope nothing's changed that much Ro: but the moon's not that forthcoming when I ask her about it Ro: The cards do tell me not to doubt you however, you'll be glad to know Ali: it hasn't Ali: good Ali: I'll be asking plenty questions of my own Ali: once I'm back Ro: I'm wishing on everything there is to make them on, with fingers of course crossed, toes too Ro: You should Ro: They've cleared a lot up for me so far this summer Ali: they always bring clarity, even if not obvious at first, or the desired clarity Ro: You remember that, it's a good start Ro: Perhaps you are still in there Ali: come on Posy Ali: I've not gone anywhere Ro: You have undeniably left, the where of which is unknown to me yet Ali: only literally Ali: physically Ali: just going to a house party Ro: No, it's as true figuratively, emotionally etc Ro: The distance exists and is only widening Ali: don't say that Ro: It's happening whether I speak it aloud or not Ali: only if we let it Ali: which I won't Ro: So I'll see you tomorrow Ro: that's a promise Ali: of course Ali: 'less you're planning to pack your bag and run off into the night Ali: need t discuss who's books, clothes, everything, is whose so you can't really Ro: Not unless I can also capture a star to use as a sufficiently bright torch Ali: wait 'til sunrise, sensible Ali: Rocky's probably gonna be jumping on mum and dad's heads but don't mean they'll notice anything Ro: After yoga, of course, I have a schedule whether or not running away has been penciled in does not necessarily mean it's prioritised above all Ali: again, so sensible Ro: It is me you're speaking to Ro: wise beyond her years or precocious, if you'd rather & it's not too late for that to still apply Ali: 😂 Ro: Well goodnight, if I'm to get up with the rising of the sun for my great escape, I'd better rest a while Ali: Oíche mhaith, codladh sámh 💚 Ro: Tú grá geal mo chroí 💞 Ro: be careful tonight Ali: 🤞

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valentineblaze · 6 years ago

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Endgame Spoilers

Listen up people I am here to rant.

Tony Stark is effing amazing and I love every second of his gilded trashbag life. But this was just a killer. Dad Tony was everything I wanted and more let me tell ya. I love you 3000 is freaking heartbreaking. I have no issue with his arc in the movie at all even if the end does cause me to break out into back breaking sobs because fuck you. If Tony is going to die by gauntlet then you had better be damn sure everyone he even peripherally gave a damn about is going to make it through this fight. Natasha, Gamora, Loki, and every single Asgardian Tony could remember would have been brought back because that man is the definition of all or nothing.

What I have issues with is the sheer lack of world building we get in this movie. Honestly its the Snap and the only glimpse of this Post apocalyptic world is group Therapy and Remembrance walls. As well as several miscellaneous flashbacks to Hawk-eyes surprise family? That not even comic fans are super attached too because they were literally made up probably for male man pain. Where was the atmosphere? Where was the drama? Where was the angst? Post snap was quite honestly not heart wrenchingly rendered into a suitable level of grief. It just wasn't. I expected break downs and rage. All I got was three seconds of Natasha tears as she has let someone else tracking down her soulbro. And a Tony Stark screaming at Captain America. This movie just told us what was happening didn't show us what was happening. It was piss poor story boarding.

Then there was the character development. Like wow. We get all these new and amazing side characters in which you could have fleshed out and made us root for and you just throw them to the sea like chum. -Captain marvel is just not there at all, she gets a gratuituous girl power scene which was random and then she gets slapped to the ground never to get up? Right after she take a head butt without a single flinch. You can small Thanos's fear right then. -Rocket gets to slap Thor? Thats it thats his most memorable moment other the holding Nebula's hand. -Rhodey has some of the best lines but no development or follow up. -Nebula there is so much happening off screen that it physically hurts me. She is amazing. I adore her. I want a series of her. Nebula is my bitch bea. I found a new hoe to die for and it is she. She is my new ride or die. Found family and redemption arcs come at me. -Sam and Bucky both get maybe two lines a piece and that just irks me.

Time travel... yes bitch I am always there for time travel hijinks and drama but honestly five minutes of a single episode of leverage had more heist feels then this three hour train wreck. It might have been the lack of a great soundtrack but it just wasn't that compelling to watch. I'm also really confused about the time travel thearory in this shit because they kept going back on thier own writing through out the movie (cough cough STEVE cough) I'm a fan of we rewrite the future by affecting the past. Butterfly effect is my Jam. This alternate reality thing is fun yes but it can't really be that because they may create alternate realities okay? then if there was the need for pym particals for time travel to occur how did Thanos's big ass army get enough to travel through time to the future? Because the avengers were out or at least low regardless of Steve's thievery and Nebula only had the one from my understanding. Also if changing the reality makes a new reality how the fuck was Steve in this reality.

Bruce , Bruce, Bruce. My beautiful green rage monster and yoga doctorate what have they done to you. What is going on. Why are you so cheerful. Why are you at peace. I hate to say it but go back. Why are we still doing this Nat/Bruce ship? It is so random. I just can't see it. Fandom can trick me into it for a few chapters but not forever. Ya'll should have taken a hint from Ragnorok give me that personality and it would have been a win. Shock and dismay was my only emotions when it came to this mess.

My constant rage with this series is pick up an effin comic book. Sit down watch a cartoon. If anyone is going to become a human disaster post Snap its going to be effin Hawkeye. Like yay Ronin cool but what the actual fuck. Why did you come at me like that? Hawkeye is not your edgy overlord. He probably would have died ages ago with out the female influences in his life. He has regular dates with dumpsters. I'm sure he even has a ranking system for prefered dumpsters to end up in after a beat down. Yes he is startlingly competent but even he doesn't know how he does it half the time. He eats food off the floor and thinks expiration dates are guidelines.

Thor was a new one. They threw me for a loop. One this man needs a hug. Two, why is no one hugging him? His rampant depression and weight gain shouldn't have been the butt of jokes. There should have been some honest concern and meaningful conversations with the living not the dead. Thor never doubted his mother's love. That was never up for debate. Thor is not to blame for the snap. Thor will give no fucks if he messes up the timeline if it means his family is alive and together. Especially post Ragnarok. Also I could have sworn Thanos killed every asguardian on his ship at the beginning of infinity war? How is Valkyrie alive? Why would Thor decide to go to space?

I’m not even gonna touch on the Black Widow for this one. I’m just not gonna go there. Blind rage doesn’t even cover it.

Howard Stark. Wow just wow I thought I was having some weird ass delusion. That man is scum. Comic canon scum. One of the smartest men on the planet yes, revolutionary war hero technically yes, great father and overall good human being? Hell to the no. Tony literally named his A.I. after Jarvis, cried over the death of J.A.R.V.I.S, I would have expected a quiet chat about fatherhood and marriage and how it can make the best out of any man (he hopes) before I got a conversation with dear old dad.

Why can’t Tony and Steve have one friendly conversation? A sense of camaraderie? Anything? Why is that so hard?

Steve "fight me" Rogers what has MCU done to you? I'm supposed to believe that you would have left Bucky Barnes to Hydra's hands for over 70 years. Im supposed to believe that you would have been in the past and had no interactions with Howard Stark. Im supposed to believe that the you married the Director of Shield and you didn't wax poetry about the amazing woman that diegned to marry you every damn day of your life? This woman on her deathbed told you she lived a long and fulfilled life and that you should move on to have the same happiness as she and you did what? That he wouldn't have dismantled every last bit of Hydra. That he would just let Natasha and Tony die because of that shitty delusional grape? The disrespect STEVEN the disRESPECT! I am a Stony stan for sure but hell if I don't respect Peggy Carter. So yay steve gets his happy cis gendered ending but what about the rest of em?

#i will spend the next week editing this #endgame #spoilers #i hate it #i really really hate it.#mcu #endgame spoilers #my rage doesn't hit civil war or ultron levels mostly because i'm just tired but #seething is accurate

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whoslaurapalmer · 6 years ago

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hot takes on ihoso, rife with spoilers, this is a lot of words

in general (a little less spoilery?)

-to me, I think the book is the most fun when it tries to function like the unauthorized autobiography – like, the page of the book about the paltryville fire, part of fernald’s job resume, the full article about the anwhistle aquatics fire, the stuff like that, I loved reading them and it reminded me so much of being like ten years old and reading unauto for the first time, it was a damn delight

-behind the scenes stuff was really interesting, and it was pretty much just, mostly, behind the scenes stuff, which just makes it weird combined with the parts that are more reminiscent of unauto

-but, good behind the scenes content.

-a lot more like, explicit s3 content than I was expecting. we really did pay for a trailer, didn’t we

-although it was kind of nice because I can sometimes hate reading information about things i’ve already seen, I almost missed one of the coded letters at the bottom of a page cause I was like ‘why the fuck do you want me to reread the timeline for an episode i’ve already fucking seen and know from the books?????’ so seeing new content was still………….nice, I guess

-i will give it this. the cover is very nice. book has a nice weight to it. like, you could probably kill a man with it.

notes I made while reading (incredibly spoilery)

-endlessly amused that nph has under his signature ‘actor and count olaf’s legal representative’ -like, what would that be like??????

- “ – and the show’s version of fiona widdershins echoes another morally ambiguous girl searching for her missing father (see: ellington feint, pg 89)” NO I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ELLINGTON FEINT, PG 89 but also I never…….considered fiona and ellington to be similar, but, I mean, I guess??? I mean actually yeah I can sort of see it

-awww booooooooo they cut out a mention of the word hangfire in the wide window

- “but he once had a selfless heroic side, and he feels very loving and protective towards the baudelaires. they’re all he has left in the world, these children that aren’t even his, and I think he wants to see them in a safe place.” patrick warburton you’re breaking my heart -oh he also got the tattoo!!!!! top notch bro

-WOW THE PIC OF LEMONY AND BEA IS JUST SMACK-DAB IN THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK WITH ALL THE DEDICATIONS AROUND IT, artsy -although honestly I think from behind she looks more like jacquelyn but that could just be the black and white -also, there’s the wonder taxi again….

-oh, the full page of the paltryville fire book -i always give bea more of the inventing vibes than bertrand although he probably has them too (says a girl who once wrote a scene (and then scrapped it) where bertrand can’t figure out how a radiator works, but that’s neither here nor there) and the idea that he ‘repurposed a large cowbell, a hammer, and a ten-foot pole to create a makeshift fire alarm’ is a DELIGHT -and the lumbermill photo…. -wow larry is really credited as ‘mr. your-waiter’ - ‘not pictured: dr. orwell’s flamethrower’ good job

-aunt josephine’s ‘chance of survival’ is listed as ‘cloudy’ -aasif mandvi describes playing monty as “a little bit of a cross between a swashbuckler like errol flynn and gene wilder as willy wonka” and you know what???? that’s the most delightful thing i’ve heard in my whole life cause that’s on point

-OH I’M SORRY DID YOU JUST CONFIRM JACQUELYN AS R????? IS THAT WHAT I’M SEEING, PG 42??????????????? -that has honestly been my least favorite theory and I hate it with all my heart and you’ll never get me to accept jacquelyn as ramona, light of my life -also larry is listed as ‘last seen….missing!’ gustav is ‘last seen….DEAD’ which is just, hilarious, and…….yeah whatev re: jacquelyn -although this does make me no longer the only person out there shipping r/olivia considering all the jacquelyn/olivia stuff but i’m. still not happy about it. as previously expressed.

- “kit is a fearless volunteer, a trusted friend, and currently, a very pregnant woman” next to a picture of allison williams looking barely pregnant if at all -ALLISON WILLIAMS JUST SHOOTING OFF DETAILS ABOUT KIT’S OPENING SCENE LIKE WE’VE ALREADY SEEN SLIPPERY SLOPE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -although kit straight-up diving off a mountain while pregnant is still…….pretty kit - “leaping off a mountain may not be a typical activity for an expectant mother, but kit snicket pulls it off with bravery and style.” bravery? yes! style? no

me: hey mom can I ask you a question mom: sure me: would you say this picture of this woman looks very pregnant mom: yep me: you would???? I mean like she looks a little obviously pregnant but – mom: she does, but….maybe not very pregnant me: I didn’t think very pregnant. mom: i’d say she’s…….six months???? mom: six months. me: thank you for that assessment.

- “dashing and heroic, adventurous and charming” have never been words I have used to describe jacques snicket in my entire life, I have never cringed so hard before -in case anyone was wondering, i’ve based my entire characterization of jacques on basically one single line – “principal predicament: wondering if it’s the right time to step in”

- “while the book’s version of olivia is a veteran agent of dubious morality, the show reinvents her as a noble school librarian struggling against institutional corruption.” because apparently ‘veteran agent of dubious morality’ wasn’t good enough for you, I GUESS

-oh my they have the rhetorical building marked on the ‘admittedly stylish but how many eyes can you really incorporate into geography before lulu vandelay starts to think you’re overplaying this’ city map -also some of these streets are………..very tiny, but they’re all labeled (and named mostly after people involved in the production) but i’m gonna need like a goddamn magnifying glass for this, what the hell -or well there are numbered places on the side but besides the longitude/latitude markings there are, no numbers -but I am dying to know where they’re placing the grotto on this map wtf personally i just imagined........a bigger landscape, especially once they reach the ocean, as perhaps illogical as that truly is

-okay i’m gonna give them this, the explanation about the trolley/underground tunnel system was, actually, intriguing and fairly on-point. I am, distressingly, impressed.

-thank you, pg 48, for immediately pulling me back to reality by listing the kids as ‘klaus, violet, and sunny’ that was unnecessary and uncalled for, have a hearty fuck you!

-why…….look, “i’d rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with carmelita spats” isn’t from ‘poet unknown.’ isadora wrote that. why put????? ‘poet unknown’????????? cause she’s not!!!! unknown!!!! THIS IS VERY, VERY CLEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “there are few things more dangerous than a person armed with a slingshot and a poorly oriented moral compass” thank you for forcing me to relive the memory of stew mitchum while reading about carmelita

-fernald’s education listed as ‘degrees in marine biology and theatre arts’ good on you for keeping that in

- ohhhhhhhhhh re: white faced women “heimlich hospital announces birth of world’s first conjoined triplets” good on you for hopefully not taking away third sibling backstory!!! hadn’t considered them as triplets, though, but I hadn’t considered them as twins, either, so whatever

-awww I wish they’d found a way to keep in the cut song from the end of s2 it looked delightful

-olaf as “alias: DAD” in s3…………….oh boy -“the voice is reminiscent of eugene levy” oh man but i’m here for that

-re: barry sonnenfeld “in the grim grotto he plays the vital role of the missing captain widdershins” well that sentence is like six kinds of whiplash -he makes a good…….sea captain picture though.

-hmmmmm the lil sugar bowl section seems to lean towards the horseradish as the contents…….?

- “the props department created two sugar bowls, including a rubber version that could be dropped for a critical scene in season three.” oh really. oh. really. that better just be someone flinging it out the damn window in the mountains

-the masked ball invitation saying “a safe place that we hope will be much more difficult to burn” right on

-as someone who has frequently wondered how they really use movies for codes considering information can change while making the movie and how would you even decode it anyway, the explanation of pulling a message from existing subtitles based on a changing code number makes sense, but probably still won’t change how I view them making a considerable number of movies on the fly -does remind me, though, of how I put in beatrice the idea of picking up certain props, something that can be easily changed, in order to convey information

-bo welch saying “so I asked barry, ‘this house in season one that olaf lives in, where did he get that?’ and in talking with him, we decided that he probably married or moved in with some wealthy old dowager and then when she died, he kept the house, and of course, he didn’t have the resources and it went to seed.” well that’s…………………...uh………………….one way to think about it I prefer the theory that it’s the remains of his family’s house

-WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR WRITING ‘AND, FUCK YEAH, OTTOMANS’ IN THE SCRIPT ABOUT JUSTICE STRAUSS’S LIBRARY THAT’S FUCKING AMAZING

-okay all the little jokes they have in the scripts are. GREAT

-nathan fillion re: jacques “he’s goodhearted. he’s kind. he’s capable. and he’s dead.”

-wow uh just straight-up revealing the opening theme rhymes for s3. gutsy of you

-you know, I really am sad they cut out widdershins, because i really liked him, and fiona aggressively adopting his mannerisms once he disappears, and i LOVE the scene here she tells the kids why widdershins didn’t go after the kids and how much fiona herself doesn’t know, but, i......guess they could still????? keep that in????? if he said that before he disappeared??? depends on when they have him disappearing, i guess

i just????? widdershins is the whole reason they don’t show up until they do so how this works out now idk, unless they’re gonna have just fiona actively trying to find the kids (if they go that route, unless they just like, bump into each other?) as a KID trying to save kids does put an interesting spin on it

-THE WHOLE POINT IS THE SECRECY, THOUGH!!! FIONA IS BASICALLY STILL RAISED IN VFD AND SHE HAS NO DAMN CLUE ABOUT IT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! augggggggggggggg

-the anwhistle aquatics article talking about gregor and ike not getting along?????? intriguing - “there are secrets in this world to terrible for decent people to know.” I read that and immediately thought of “mrs. palmer, there are things dark and heinous in this world. things too horrible to tell our children.” but that could just be because my mind pulls up peaks quotes for literally everything

-you know as much as I liked the imagined red vibe of penultimate peril, i’m really digging these set pieces even if they are green

- “several key scenes in the penultimate peril take place in an opulent opera house” are you gonna full flashback to the opera house??????????????? because hmmmmmmmmmm I never wanted to see the whole thing but I HAVE always imagined them as. barely adults when the opera happens, so?? at least there’s that

-still VERY nervous at the idea of the beatrice letters being at the end of the end. no damn clue what i’m nervous about. I already had my say about how I think the beatrice letters goes down. in almost 20,000 words. it shouldn’t matter to me. but. regardless. ……….still nervous……….

-based on the allusions page it looks like this be the verse and the blind men and the elephant will show up?????? they’d BETTER (and if I had to pick, this be the verse.) (my brit lit professor in college took great, great thrill in reading that poem out loud, so much so that when we were studying it, she read it out loud twice. she was a delightful woman.) (but re: the elephant poem that’s just, such a sweet, delightful memory of bertrand ‘sweetest man alive’ baudelaire, and considering all the memories of bea and bertrand they’ve really cut out, I just really, really want that one to stay in…….)

-hey, that final image of the eye-shaped island????? legitimately one of the most terrifying things i’ve ever seen in my life. I hope you’re happy.

-so, missed two words in the telegram code so I did look up what it was, and I was incredibly disappointed that that was all it was

(HOLY FUCK WAIT A SECOND as i’m rereading the beginning of my notes here, the see: ellington feint, that’s the only reference to ellington and she’s not even mentioned on the referenced page because it’s one of the code pages, but if that’s supposed to somehow imply ellington is in the two sets of people the telegram code refers to i’m. not gonna be happy) (unless it was just a reference to how the picture of barry sonnenfeld in austere academy is as the founder of the school, last name feint, and…….they’re just doing something with that, how the hell should I know) well I was disappointed until I got UNNECESSARILY TERRIFIED BY PROBABLY OVER-THINKING IT, gonna forget that ever happened at all, completely anyway, besides that, it’s still………….nothing that really???? doesn’t already go without saying?????? like THAT’S the code you decided to put in this book????? and how does that have any relevance to ‘don’t decode it until after s3’

#spoilers #that's my story and i'm sticking to it.#lulu talks about the sad lemon man

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pokefan531 · 3 years ago

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Sword and Shield Overview Part 2

So this review took much longer than expected, as I typed some things, but forgotten about this review, and stuffs, so I finally got more things to add from my part 1 back in last November as well as looking back at the game a couple of times to give off my thoughts on the game itself. I will address the flaws and the great of the game. To give off of what the game is, it's a decent Pokemon game.

The Mechanics Once I take a try on the mechanics, a couple of them are pretty interesting. Well, the gyms got brought back, but as stadiums. It's a really nice way to have everyone look at gym battles. We never really see random people watching a gym battle in any Pokemon games, and it widens the world. However, The only problem is any type of battle, the field is really small. It seems like each Pokemon are too close together, even if they're not. I would like the player and the opponent would distant themselves more to widen the battle more, almost like Pokemon Battle Revolution. That way, we don't have to see trainers disappears when some moves are being used and reappear. Also, it would've show more of the attack moves. Now the next mechanic that I liked is the wild area. The wild area is really an interesting concept and it does give you a feel of a open world. The random weathers, items, and hidden items that shines adds the new generation of wild Pokemon world. Well, I wished a couple of places in main Galar have movable camera, but it's good enough to see the big part of the wild area. I would've picked longer draw distance on objects, as they're too close, but I'll explain later about it. Dynamax, well it's a mixed bag. It seemed like an interesting idea as I can see it be useful, but you would have to know when to use it at the end of the pokemon battle when one of us have a last Pokemon. It can be a bit unfair when batling online as it's a bit OP if timing hasn't been used correctly, like using it in first turn instead of later. I do find Dynamax more fitting for raid battles as it's battling against a dynamax pokemon in the wild or just a straight up dynamax battle. I know a lot of people don't like dynamax as it can be over powered, so I can see why some battles don't make use of it on online battles to make it a more fair battle. I do appreciate Dynamax concept, but I think it needed its time to plan out even better in the game to get more appreciation. Still, I don't mind using them in some battles like the post game or straight dynamax battles or even battling gym leaders or Champion Leon, although the difficulty can be a bit all over the place especially playing it online and the reason why I wished it was better thoughout. I don't hate dynamaxing though. The Bike is useful, and you can surf with it instead of having Pokemon use Surf. For me, I think Sun and Moon removing HMs and to have all the moves being used without any Pokemon learning them, is an interesting idea. Flying to cities by using a map sounds like a fine idea. Sword and Shield seems to take half of the changes from Sun and Moon. Autosaving is a handy feature, but I prefer to save it manually incase if I haven't left the building or area without saving, or if I ever have disabled it and forgot about it. I still prefer old fashioned saving.

Difficulty Well, as much some of the ideas makes the game enjoyable, there are some parts of the game where it's too easy, and it's mostly not related to the aforementioned ideas in the game. It seems like I don't really feel much of the difficulty on some battles, especially the later main story. I didn't grind as much. Most of the Whydon City story were too easy, and I thought it would be more challenging. The difficulty was too easy in almost all parts of Whydon, from entering the Whydon Stadium, to battle Oleana and meet Rose. I feel like they should've been more challenging. The Whydon City should've been a bit more challenging to all Gym Leaders than when you battle them the first time. I just defeated them with barely any Pokemon change. Even the Rose story part, they all seem too easy, even Oleana. I thought Oleana would be challenging, but that battle didn't feel as challenging as I thought it would be. Prior to battling Leon in the finals, the most challenging Gym Leader was Raihan. I lost to him a couple of times, so he is pretty challenging than anything in Whydon City except for Leon. As for Leon, He seems challenging enough for the finals, but I wished all gym leaders were a bit better, even re-battling Raihan. I mean even with all EXP shares permanently active, it's still feels like they could've made more balanced battle, like what I saw with first battle of Raihan and final Leon battle. A couple of Gym Leaders difficulty are appropriate as I lost a few times on a few of them. The first Gym Leader I didn't lose the first time was Bea, and it seems like a fair battle like most of the gym leaders in their first battle. As for random trainers, I would've have them in slightly higher level outside the gym, but more so Team Yell. Team Yell grunts are a bit easy, even on the task to get to Piers on Gym Battle. Now as I was thinking about the Dynamax battle, it did make some battles a bit more challenging, and I lost to some gym leaders by their last Pokemon, and mostly Final Battle with Leon. However, dynamax can have its difficulty a bit all over the place, not as often on gym battles or stadiums, but more so online battles, mostly depending how the rules of the battles are set up. As for Raid Battles, yes, they're pretty difficult and everyone told me that Zygrande Raid is the hardest one in the game, so maybe more challenge in the game. Overall, the difficulty is at the least better than LGPE, even with some mishaps that makes some parts of the game a bit too easy. I'll get over another thing later where I explain my thoughts on gamefreak's words as to why later Pokemon games became more easy, and how they could've improve it.

Graphics and Animation: Okay, this would have lots of explaining to do about this game with graphics and animation. Well, as it was released in late 2019, being a rushed game, it was not impressive. As I mentioned about Gamefreak's words on their focus on high quality animation as to not having all pokemon available to the game's release, we had to focus on the graphics and animation to see if not having all Pokemon was worth it, and it turns out it remained underwhelming. Sure, you guys can point out the trees with bad textures all you want, and was relevant at the time, but I don't think one bad example could prove the game's underwhelming expectations, but a couple more problems to prove it. I could also say gameplay will often be the most priority over the graphics, which is commonly true. To put this in my view of this high quality animation thing in to view the game's graphics and animation itself, and I know the game has more than graphics, but I just want to review this part on its own. As I said, it's underwhelming, at least lots of parts of the game. As it was rushed for Christmas money, some parts of the game were not as impressive. Sure a simple fix with the tree texture would be ideal, and simple animations on the moves like double kick could've had more work. Not to mention the Mouse Cursor were printed on the beginning of the cutscene and end credits, which those weren't recorded from OBS program, but rather the development version of the games, that also contains a mouse cursor. With those aside, I could mention how the game's performance and resolution goes. Seeing the game being sub-720p 30fps (portable) and sub-1080p 30fps (docked) on outdoors and special moves on dynamax battles, it isn't optimized well, compared with other games that would look superior. When I take a look at the beta on CFW switch, it couldn't stay at 30fps on Hulbury City, and under 20fps down from the daycare center, when staying at constant 720p (portable) and 1080p (docked). As a rushed game, they also don't have time for further optimization. As Gamefreak do 3D Pokemon games from X and Y, they aren't best at optimizing rendering for performance. Gen 6 lags with 3D-stereo on (no reason to use 3D-stereo) and without 3D, some Pokemon lags the game, especially with double and horde battles. Other 3DS games can get away with higher polygon counts due to further optimization. With Sword and Shield, this trend continues in a smaller extent. While reducing resolution to stay at 30fps, there's no lag. I was kinda unimpressed when coming out from home and seeing the outdoors in lower resolution, but later on, I didn't really mind. I did use a texture pack from BSOD gaming, and there was a couple of improvements. As for the animations, like I said, I wished TPC didn't force the game to be out too early (to sync with the merch) so they would iron out animation errors or redo simple animation. The mom in the beginning of the game doesn't turn to the other direction when talking to her. Lots of pop-ins and NPCs and items having short draw distance instead of reducing polygons, and with Onix popping in at front of you in Monostoke City. I saw all the list from DistantKingdom's videos, and well, that was disappointing at the time. Some animation flaws, might be laughable, but still looking like it was not ready. BUT, does those problems make the entire game look bad? My answer, if the gameplay is actually better than the graphics, then no. You may still have fun playing the game if you can get past the graphic and animation problems. However, I can understand being disappointed with it if you mainly focus on the whole dexit situation of its statement, but at the least, none of the game was ever gamebreaking or any lower quality graphics or animation should take the game's quality by a huge amount. Couple of other parts of the main game can look better, such as the Stadiums and Route 3 and 5 looking pretty fine for me, and also Raid battles too. As for the main game, the graphics is overall... okay. It doesn't look really bad overall, even one small tree texture doesn't really justify all its graphics. However, like I said, more development time would've make many places of the game look better, but also stated that graphics are usually overshadowed by gameplay, to which it's at the least tolerable if you play it.

Now let's get into DLC's animation and graphics. Short answer, it improved better, more so Crown Tundra. While the outdoors are still at sub-native resolution, it still managed to look even better. Gamefreak at the least had more time to develop with two DLC maps. Isle of Armor improves itself with not only the visuals, but also animation expressions from the characters and fast slowpokes. Only problem was the Pokemon couldn't keep up with you while running, but the graphics seems to be more stable and refined, even better than some parts of mainland Galar. My favorite design of the map was the island with the big tree with six sub-islands around it. As for Crown Tundra, wow...as Gamefreak proved that they can make Sword and Shield graphically impressive, this is it. I know not in a level of Pokken, but still big enough to say. Like Armor, Tundra has many variants of areas with different weathers, and they managed to make the second map look more pleasing. Two places of the Tundra map I can say that looks really great in my memory is Dyna Tree Hill and Slippery Slope. Freezington looks great too, and with many trees around and not lagging, it's really amazing. The Legendary Birds from Kanto in Tundra Form looks amazing. All the animations you see are pretty acceptable. I could point out the problem with the fade-ins and black screens and not do animation, like Hop getting hit by the apple Pokemon missing, but still, there's plenty of animation done and done better in the DLCs.

Designs: For a 3D Pokemon game, I like all the character models. Even Sordward and Shielbert's model design. They finally have right portions, not being in LGPE, and they have movable pupils so they don't have to use texture-illusion to make limited eye and eyebrow expressions. All of character design looks generally great. As for the Pokemon, I could only mention Galar Pokemon, and older Pokemon with Galar form, being in a fine design. Like the graphics paragraph about the game being rushed, much of the older Pokemon were imported from 3DS games, which, like LGPE, which isn't really new. Besides those, the new models of Pokemon looks great. What about the maps? Some cities looks well designed, and others, not so great. Many routes and caves lookes more straightforward, especially routes. Open routes that are around Monostoke City and Hammerlock City are the best routes of the game due to being open and have more variety to show what an open world route should look like. Despite some parts looking inferior, graphics wise, the map design shows a lot of good work with it. Now many routes, a lot of them just became more of a hallway, and not really expanded enough. Route 3, Route 5, and Galar Mine No.1 are the ones I could think off that a lot of them are like. I like Route 4 and 6's designs the most since they tend to expand wide enough for items and trainers around instead of looking like lines of trainers waiting for you for a battle. LOL! Monostoke City and Circhester are the cities that are well designed at least for me. The least designed one was Spikemuth. Sorry Piers, your city is too simple and straight. Yeah, I wished the city wasn't a straight line and add more variety to make the whole Team Yell challenges more creative. Whydon City, I do wish it was a bit more like Castelia City or Lumiose City level of large city, since it's a capital city, being based on London. For what we got, it's fine. To go over the characters, I would have to review their design in the character section. Overall, model designs and new Pokemon are done pretty well and some of the maps looks great, but lots of routes and some caves are just hollow. They need to be more expanded and have a lot of work, including the mentioned cities.

Before I get into the characters, I want to make it clear about being a 3D Pokemon game. I hear some people think this game, or any past games, remain 2D, and I disagree. Sure 2D can show more expressions, but 3D can proven to be as good as 2D, as to how this game was compared with Battle Revolution and Pokken. These games proved that the main games can work with 3D. Especially as an MMD animator, I know a lot about 3D animation and can be almost as expressive as 2D. Sure Pokemon or characters turning slowly from animation subject isn't completely realistic for its aesthetics, but Pokken and Battle Revolution proved that, and so did the DLCs. Even Legend of Zelda, with their games given more dev time, showed their transition to 3D, even with Link's Awakening, has managed to look really great with 3D models and all. Also, even back in N64 days, with Pokemon Stadium 1 and 2, and Snap, was also cool to see Pokemon in 3D, even seeing more polygons and low resolution textures. So I am completely fine with main Pokemon games going 3D. Just like how I'm fine with Miraculous Ladybug being a 3D animation, even with old 2D trailer, but that's another story.

Characters Well, here's the part I really want to get to, explaining each characters and what I think about themselves and their characteristics. Victor and Gloria are just players, and funny memes with Gloria as Scottish Trainer. Victor seems like a cool trainer, and Gloria is just cute. Hop, I know some of you will say he's a complete copy of Hau from Sun and Moon, same personality and animation, and I get it. However, he seems to have different goals at least, so I didn't feel like Hop was a rehash of Hop, almost, even with same personality. With that said, he seems like a good friend in the games. Hop seems really supportive with his brother Leon. He wasn't happy when Bede once defeated him. Champion Leon, he's a pretty great character. Him being friendly to the player since the beginning of Sword and Shield, and he's pretty funny. There's a gag of him being bad at directions, and lots of fans likes to play around with him getting lost for comedic purposes. Not only that, but he's well supportive with Hop too, and also had been friends with Sonia since childhood. I don't really see romantic connection with the two, but just friends, which is rare to see platonic friendship in media. We get to see his own room in Hop's house, and with many things we see in both Twilight Wings and the anime so far, he's an interesting Champion. One thing I really wished they could've done with Leon is he should've have a Dragapult as his main Pokemon instead of Charizard. It would make more sense to get to know more of Galarian Pokemon in Galar, instead of using Charizard for just fan favorites. It didn't really add anything special, but other than that, he's a fun person. I know some people hate him for being dumb? Or if he was a weak champion? He seems to show more character than some might say, so I'm glad he's got good enough attention to have getting lost jokes and great enough fanarts. Sonia, I like her design, and I think she's attractive. Sonia is pretty helpful during the game, by giving you items and helping the events during the main game. She seems really and is best friends with Nessa. All the gym leaders are likable. We have Milo. Wow, it takes really long to get to the first gym battle. Milo seems like a nice person and has many Wooloos with him. His gym puzzle was fine. It's funny when certain people comment him lacking a nose, but he has one. Next is Nessa! A really lovable Nessa. She seems like a really strong trainer, and also has interesting friendhip with Sonia. Nessa looks like a comedic swimmer if I think about her roles in my videos. But yeah, she seems like a great friend with other gym leaders. Kabu the fire type. I like how he came from Hoenn, and also seems pretty serious gym leader. As I remember, he was pretty nice to the trainer, even after battling when he congratulate the player and Hop for battling three gym leaders. He also seems like a comedian when thinking about fanon stories. lol And my most favorite gym leader of Sword and Shield is Bea! Bea is my favorite character of the generation too! She's adorable, and really strong and tomboyish, the type of female characters I love the most. Bea looks always brave and wow, she's got skills. I liked her backstory of how she's trained, and has her smiles too. I liked all the media she's in, even Journeys, and she's adorable. I liked the cute kid Bea. Bea is my favorite that I could go on and make a single post about her as to why she is my favorite. Bea is pretty nice, even with harsh training she has got for years. Oh and her cuteness on eating sweats are adorable ^w^ Alister is also pretty interesting character. I only got Sword so I couldn't battle him. Alister's design with the ghost mask looks like he could scare others on a party, being a ghost gym leader. Many people headcanon him as Bea's younger brother, and please let this be a thing, Journeys or in general, Game Freak and Pokemon Company. My headcanon while being related to Bea as siblings, Bea is supportive for Allister's emotions if he ever feels scared or cries, to show both siblings in care. After Bea or Allister, we get Opal. An interesting old lady who's a gym leader, being a fan of pink. Well, her stories going around Bede is funny. She goes to him and takes him to her care and have Bede be around Pink, which is funny. Also she asked two questions during the battle to not give you status affected to your Pokemon. One of them asked the player how old she is, and being 86 is correct, she also states to be polite. Well, honesty doesn't seem to be usually polite, isn't it? XD Next would be Gordie. Gordie looks like a fun guy who likes riding with rock Pokemon. He seems to be friendly with other trainers too. It's interesting that he's the son of Melony, who's a gym leader too, if playing Shield in place of Gordie. She's also the likable mother, and I could say moreso than any player's mothers due to the fact that we get to see at least parents of a gym leader or at least has a family, IN A GAME (not counting anime Brock or Misty) and I know Norman is your dad in Hoenn. However, Melony and Gordie has nice share of family in the stadium, and she seems like a nice person. She is really prepared for ice climates and hey, she's an interesting big and beautiful mother. The next one and most interesting one is Piers! Piers is one of the most interesting written gym leader in the game. Piers appears more and even post game too. He is the only one who never relies on Dynamax battles nor own any stadiums and just gym, even though the town he's in is too simple, but doesn't affect him at least. I know some don't like dynamax and it can hae some flaws of it depending on the player, but his dislikes of it seems interesting seeing him being different from other gym leaders and him being afraid of them. He has a sister named Marnie, which I'll get to in a bit. Oh, and he does appear singing in the game twice. The flaw of the game is he does not have a voice when singing, which they should've have to tell he's singing. However, that spawned a gag and meme for Piers always forgetting to turn on his mic whenever he performs, and fanarts and headcanons have him be told he forgot to turn on his mic. So funny! Also his expressions are priceless. On post game, he helps out to stop Sword and Shield duos from forcing dynamax to every stadiums, and he's always relieved that his place never got dynamaxed, as to how his area was never meant for dynamaxing of course. XD Before I cover Raihan, I'll cover Marnie. She first appears in Monostoke hotel with Team Yell distrubing the place, and Marnie stops them. As far as I try remembering Marnie, she's fine as a character. At first, she seems serious by her looks, and smiles more later on. As her development goes, it's decent. Not the best that I can consider greatly developed as a whole, but still a memorable character, partly her design looks the best, and being Pier's brother. Marnie's smile animation looks pretty cute! She is pretty supportive with Piers, as she takes over his gym, as Piers wanted to be a dark trainer. Those are the most memorable thing I see from Marnie. Now let's go to Raihan, the last Gym leader. Well, he's a cool dude. He's the strongest gym leader of the game, no doubt bring the 8th gym leader. The most memorable thing is his dynamaxing animation, where he turns and takes a quick selfie with Rotom Phone, and spawned lots of memes as him being the obsessed selfie man. Even his artwork shows his personality of him being good looking for his phone to post on Insta-mon app. Wow, his artwork and expressions are brilliant. He likes to defeat Leon one day and never succeed, but it doesn't stop him smiling for a selfie. LOL We have Rose next. Rose looks like an evil businessman or just irresponsible business man, either way it's funny. As a villain in the story, well, he's not really memorable. As the game was rushed, and never will address the issue on the story's pacing, him as the villain at near the end of the main game seems less memorable. I tried remembering the stuff he does, and I know I can just go and see them on youtube, but his story isn't really the best nor was helping him to be taken seriously. Him talking to Leon in that moment of the game, it didn't feel like it was meant to be a powerful scene for the audience. Also, his role was short in the entire game, from the restaurant meeting, to the stadium battle before the final battle with Leon, there isn't much to say about him as how he was served in the game other than looking like the evil businessman. However, I do remember two things about him. First, his outgoing outfit, his shorts looks decorated that it almost looked like he was wearing boxers in public. I know they could've have the shirt decorated rather than the shorts to have it a better design, but that's still seen as a joke. The second thing is...his stare from Twilight Wings. I find it strangely funny. His stare on Nessa was just random. LOL As of Oleana, well, she's insane. We all see Oleana as the freaky woman and sure is a group with Rose. With her insanity, it sure is what we just know about her. XD Now, the crazy twins, Sordward and Shielbert, first off, they have insane hairs, mostly Sordward! Wow! We couldn't imagine a haircut like that! A hair shaped like a sword! Second, their names are just funny. Sordward is really close to Squidward, and Shielbert is a similar funny name as Sordward, except I couldn't think of a character that's close to his name, but funny enough. Well, those two may seem too silly for you, but they serve their purpose to be meme-able. That's the best way to describe them, and also they're villains in the post game. As for their story, they were fine. Just a bit short and not as well paced. Them causing forced dynamax to all stadiums (except Piers's) and battling them was all right, but could wish a bit more challenge as far as I can remember. Now as for Isle of Armor, We meet Klara and Avery. Both welcome you to the island. Klara seems like a yandere and creepy while Avery wants to use psychic powers on people. I played Sword, so I see Klara's part only. Well, she seems like she just wants to compete with you and beat you to have Mustard proud of her. I assume Avery's situation is similar. Well, Klara looks pretty charming, I actually prefer Avery. He looks funny, and has a cool floating Pokeballs with him on his long hat. Mustard and Honey seem like a respectable members of the Dojo. Honey really does look like Princess Daisy. XD. Mustard looks like a cool guy and also a funny one too. MMD videos makes these characters really funny. Wow. As for Kyle, we barely know him. Penoy and Peonia first appear in Crown Tundra. Due to Peony's silliness, he looks like a comedic father from many dads from cartoons. Him getting used by the Pokemon for talking, and how he's hot blooded, is how I could tell he's the typical dad in children's media. As for Peonia, all I could remember is she wants to take an adventure on her own instead of being with her dad, while he wants to protect her. It was pretty little to get to know Peonia, but we do get more of Peony's screentime. Bede is another rival in Sword an Shield. He seems like a jerk, but as the story goes on, it's understandable. Bede had to be trained by Rose and all that, and well, his wrongdoings had got him kicked out from Rose himself when Bede tried smacking the ancient wall that shook Stew-on-Stow in worries. Oh, and him being stuck with Opal is really funny. He appears in the Whydon Stadium before the final battle, telling the player how much he suffered his life with Rose, and being with Opal surrounded with Pink, and he also shown to like it. Bede may be a dork in the game, but his story was satisfy able. He's more interesting to me than Hop. Speaking of Hop, Bede couldn't stand Hop's naive personality, and laughed how Hop couldn't defeat Bede. Hop's silly in a good way, but Bede is pretty right about him. XD SwSh has really interesting concept of creating characters, and I even saw memes of them, like Bede's song in animation as well as Marnie's theme. 2D vine animation was made, and all known characters were fit right as their characteristics were so interesting that their roles in each vine fits perfectly.The weakest character for me would be Rose as mentioned, but there is no character in SwSh that I truly dislike, unlike Anime Iris in Best Wishes or Lila Rossi and Chloe from Miraculous Ladybug. I even like making two Nessa and Sonia's Sketch Show on my channel.

Story The story in SwSh was...ok. It was pretty weak. In the main game, as the game was rushed, the pacing of the story is flawed, so it didn't have a lot of time to make room for some characters. In the whole Leon and Rose plot, as they were talking, there was no music playing and flat animation, as they were just pics. It was supposed to be emotional, but since no music was added, there isn't anything to feel much. Well Rose's story isn't really memorable as his parts are just short. As I made my point about Rose, the pacing and story didn't really make Rose memorable enough and that's why I had a harder time writing about Rose other than he's a weak villain of the series. I know Twilight wings showed more about Rose, but for the games, I wished it was expanded enough to be memorable than just him giving a stare XDD. As for Leon, his story is all right. Leon's story seems more interesting than Rose's story. He was shown to have more story than any other champions in Pokemon. The whole Galar Gym leaders are fine, and even Bede's story too. Sonia was shown to have good enough screentime. However, I do wish to see more friendship between her and Leon. As for the post-game, it seems a bit weaker. Introduction to Sordward and Shielbert is fine, but it can sometimes be fast paced. At one time, when Sonia's assistant betrayed Sonia in the lab, and it wasn't too long when we get to the end where she apologized to her and Sonia decided to her her join back. That's not how it works. I wouldn't let a traitor be the lab assistant again if they betrayed and shown to side with two villains. Not only that, but everyone seems to be okay with the twins after the post game story was about to end. Well it's a bit unreal for villains to be taken nicely once after their event just finished, so it didn't make a lot of sense to me. The very end with me battling Hop and the legendary Pokemon there is interesting as well as the beginning. The main games's story have some pacing issues, so let's see how the DLCs are like.

In Isle of Armor, while short for each DLC, they're still interesting. They seem to be handled better for me. In Armor, I like the introduction for Klara and Avery as well as the events in Dojo. The side quests and the final battle by the Dojo are pretty cool. I like how it explained about Klara or Avery trying to please Mustard and Honey as they wanted to be their support, and learns to respect the player at the end. They may leave out poison spikes and psychic terrains on the field, but they're pretty redeemable to both the player and anyone in the Dojo. Now to Crown Tundra, I like the story with Calyrex, who's always controlling Peony whenver it needs communication, explaining the story and its needs. Peony seems like a funny guy. Peonia, well only problem was she isn't as much in the story as Peony, so I wish I wanted to know more about her other than trying to get away from her dad. Still, I really find the story interesting as it's a story by a legendary Pokemon, and it was long enough to get to know Calyrex and its lore. Well if I can combine both DLCs stories and compare it with main story in Galar, it's a bit short but understandable as they're DLCs, but the writing and pacing of them seems better overall.

I wished the story in the main game was really improved and have better pacing, and also help out to flesh out character more often, like Hop and Rose. It's pacing issues is liked to the story being rushed, so not only the graphics and animation is the problem, but also the story too as it needs a fine pacing. It seems like a similar situation with Big Hero 6, where the characters and their concept are really interesting, but the story and pacing are the problem and could be why they got more focus as to the game/movie's problems and overshadowing the characters and their concepts as they had more potential. The story in the game isn't bad. I just say it's okay like stated in the beginning of this. I enjoyed it, but like I said, I wish it got enough development time to fix a couple of the flaws. As for DLCs, they seem better.

Also to keep note that I do prioritize gameplay>story>graphics in that way. Graphics as started in the animation isn't my huge priority over the gameplay. Only rare case if graphics and design are a problem over gameplay is if it's really ugly looking like Pokemon Playit games. If story is worse than gameplay such as TLOU 2 due to being intentionally very divisive, is also the same thing. Gameplay is more important for a game to be fun, as long as story is decent enough and graphics are not horrible looking such as Playit, those are worse looking Pokemon games LOL.

So I'm not done with the review yet, as I have part 3 to think about other stuffs regarding Sword and Shield's reputation, so I'll be making part 3 where I discuss other things and just to get the review of the game itself sooner, so I hope you understand me trying to be honest with the games and such, so see you in part 3.

#pokemon sword and shield

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one-of-us-blog · 8 years ago

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Mother’s Day (TGG, Season 3, Episode 25)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Mother’s Day, the season finale of the third season of The Golden Girls. On this day of celebration, the girls are hoping to hear from their children and are reminiscing about Mother’s Days past. Will this be an uplifting stroll down Memory Lane, or a bitter lesson in disappointment? Keep reading to find out…

Before we get into my recap, let me comment as usual on Jon’s recent take of the latest episode of Doctor Who that he watched, A Christmas Carol. I know I’m a broken record here, but you did another fine job, Cap! I feel like you never fail to go above and beyond in your posts, and this was no exception. I always look forward to the Doctor Who Christmas specials, and even when they aren’t perfect they are like a nice little holiday gift that is waiting for me every year, and I’m glad this one managed to be a 4Q experience for you. But now I have my own special occasion to celebrate (almost at the right time of the year, no less), so let’s head to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Kathy Speer, and Terry Grossman, directed by Terry Hughes

As the episode opens, the girls are all sitting in the kitchen, waiting for the phone to ring. Sophia is wished a Happy Mother’s Day and we learn that a celebratory trip to a buffet is planned, but the gals don’t want to leave until their children have called them on this special day. Sophia has heard from everyone but Phil (of course), but even he manages to sneak a coded message through the phone lines. The girls start reminiscing – ah snap, it looks like we have another flashback episode on our hands! – and Dorothy recalls a Mother’s Day on which she had to ask Stan’s mother for a loan…

[The time vortex swirls into the past]

We cut to a small museum of Stanley Zbornak through the ages; or, perhaps this is just a home displaying far too many pictures of the lunk on its walls. It is, in fact, the home of Stan’s mother, and he and Dorothy arrive on her doorstep to bid her a joyous Mother’s Day. They even brought her a present, The Artwork of Adolf Hitler, the butter her up. It seems pretty clear that Ma Zbornak doesn’t care much for Dorothy, and the feeling may be mutual. When his mother goes to fetch some tea, Stan implores Dorothy to be nice to her, as they are here to try to convince her to shell out some money. When his mother returns, Stan pretends that he has a call to make, and heads out for a nearby payphone; this is Dorothy’s signal to beg for cash, as he doesn’t have the backbone to do it himself (to nobody’s surprise). As soon as he is gone, Ma Zbornak gets real with Dorothy; Stan is a yutz, and the whole world makes fun of him, she admits. That’s why she tries so hard to build him up. She also actually really likes Dorothy, because she’s just the kind of hardass needed to keep that bozo in line; or at least to try her best. The couple only needs $500 but Stan’s mother gives Dorothy $1,000, on the condition that she doesn’t tell him where it came from. After all, she doesn’t want Stan hanging around anymore than anyone else. Once they depart, Ma Zbornak proceeds to immediately take down all the pictures of Stan from her walls.

[We rematerialize in the kitchen]

Back in the present, Charlie Jr. has just called for Rose with the shocking news that it’s cold in Minnesota. She asks him to stick his tongue to some metal as a little Mother’s Day present to herself. Sophia is getting increasingly hungry, but Blanche takes the opportunity to reflect back upon the last Mother’s Day she spent with her mom…

[Once more, we are rocketed into days gone by]

We arrive in a retirement home, where Blanche greets her mother. Her mother, unfortunately, seems to think that Blanche is her sister, Virginia. She comments on her present of lace handkerchiefs, as she was always taught that there are two things one can never have enough of: lace handkerchiefs, and gentleman callers (Side note: As an enthusiastic handkerchief advocate, I cannot endorse this wisdom strongly enough). Blanche tries to help her mother recall some fond memories…you know, like the time when high school-aged Blanche nearly married a 40-year-old man with children. She was stopped by her parents, as her mother employed the brilliant tactic of giving Blanche her full blessing, thereby removing her interest for the man entirely. Her mother seems to recall the incident, but thought it happened to Virginia…wait, was Virginia the slut? No ma’am, Blanche replies, that was me! Blanche is clearly sad about her mother’s fading memory, but in a moment of lucidity, her mom recalls that the incident in question occurred on Christmas Day, and we see a little spark of herself return, pleasing Blanche.

[We are ripped suddenly back to the present]

Rose says goodbye to Charlie Jr., but Dorothy hasn’t yet gotten a call from Michael (who is probably still stinging from her reaction in Mixed Blessings). Rose recalls a Mother’s Day that she spend with somebody else’s mother, and here we go again…

[WHOOOOOOOOSH]

We find ourselves in a bus station in St. Olaf (in a set that I’m pretty sure has been recycled from another episode), and Rose has an hour to kill before she catches her bus to St. Olaf. She sits next to an older woman who is familiar with her hometown, and describes it quite well: beautiful, and full of idiots. Rose is going to visit her children for Mother’s Day, as they preferred to bring her to them than to go to her, and her new friend is going to visit her daughter. They both manage to recall a wedding day for a mutual acquaintance of theirs (whose name I’m not even going to try to spell), and Rose launches into a pretty intense story. Her story goes on for a looooong time, far beyond the point that she would have been shouted down from the girls in Miami. The kind lady seems overwhelmed at first, but eventually really seems to enjoy herself. She is glad for the company, and reveals that her daughter is actually dead. She has a ritual of going to the cemetery and pretending that it’s a normal Mother’s Day visit, which is actually pretty damn heartwrenching. But in order to make the trip, she had to run away from the home where she lives. Just then, a Sheriff shows up looking for her and is just about to take her back, when Rose intervenes, covering for her by pretending to be her daughter. The two make their getaway on the bus, smiling conspiratorially.

[ZOOOOOOOOOOM]

Michael finally calls, and Sophia says it’s about time…she’s starving to death over here. But in the meantime, she shares her own Mother’s Day tale with a final “Picture It,” and off we go…

[We’re leaping again!]

Here we are in the Petrillo household; Salvatore reclines on the sofa with a newspaper over his face, and young Sophia is on the prowl. She whips Sal into shape before her mother arrives, as they are planning to ask her to live with them. Young Dorothy (who I really like) pushes her grandmother into the home in a wheelchair, and we see that she is portrayed by Old Dorothy; or rather, she is played by Bea Arthur herself, in old lady makeup! Rad! They open the topic of moving into their home, but Sophia’s mother refuses on the grounds that Sal hates her. Much to my delight, she attempts to launch into her own “Picture It” (Sicily, 1881), but gets cut off. She slaps Sophia, Sophia slaps Dorothy, and eventually Sal takes matters into his own hands and asks her to move in himself. This does the trick, and the day is saved.

[Aaaaaaaaaaah!]

As Michael gets off the phone with his mother, he asks to talk to Sophia. She asks him if he has eaten, before declaring that she hasn’t, and hanging up the phone abruptly. Peace, it’s time to roll! They begin to leave, despite the fact that Blanche hasn’t received a call from her Janet yet, but Blanche doesn’t hold much hope anyway. Just then, the phone rings for Blanche, and Sophia abandons all hope for the trip, retrieving the pots and pans to whip up a Mother’s Day feast before she starves to death.

The End.

I wouldn’t say that this episode was exceptional, but you know, I think I’m really starting to come around to the flashback episodes that the writers are so fond of. I was a reluctant convert, but they’ve managed to win me over. There is a lot to like in each of these flashbacks, from the small twist with Stan’s mother, to Blanche’s pride in her sordid past, to Rose’s enthusiasm for her hometown, to another glance at a younger Sophia and Dorothy. I certainly had a few favorite moments, including Bea Arthur portraying her own grandmother, and Blanche’s handkerchief wisdom. I was also touched by the bus station segment, and I recall a moment from my younger days when some friends and I witnessed an old man attempting to escape from a nursing home. He was caught by the staff after a valiant effort, and we laughed about it at the time (like young jerks, confident that we would live forever as golden gods), but as the years go by my feelings regarding the incident have altered, and I find stories like this to be pretty emotional. I’m feeling good about Mother’s Day (and the season as a whole), and I give the episode a rating of 4 poofy hairdos out of 5.

Jon and I are both about to dip into brand new seasons, so stop back in tomorrow for his take on The Impossible Astronaut, the first episode of series 6 of Doctor Who. And I’ll be back on Tuesday with my recap of Yes, We Have No Havanas, the premiere episode of season 4 of The Golden Girls. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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Two adults, two kids, zero waste | Bea Johnson | TEDxFoggyBottom

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/two-adults-two-kids-zero-waste-bea-johnson-tedxfoggybottom/

Two adults, two kids, zero waste | Bea Johnson | TEDxFoggyBottom

Translator: Maria Boura Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs The average American generates one ton of waste yearly. My household: one jar of waste per year due to the fact 2008. Our trip started back in 2006; we learn some books, watched some documentaries. And what my husband and that i located fairly made us sad occupied with the future we were going to go away behind for our kids. So it gave us the desire to alter our approaches. I acquired tremendous stimulated in looking for waste-free choices. I attempted lots of things like canning and people – some matters were just right strategies; others, now not so much. Canning was once a excellent inspiration, however I don’t suggest using stinging nettle for your lips in lieu of lip plumper. It rather hurts, think me. I do not advocate making use of moss in lieu of bathroom paper both. You see, moss dries, so the next day you grow to be with – you realize those scouring pads? Sure, now not very fine. I do not propose that. I additionally tried making use of "no poo," which is a method of washing your hair without shampoo.You’re supposed to wet your scalp, massage some baking soda in, after which rinse it with apple cider vinegar. However after six months, let’s just say that the oil of my hair migrated down to right here, and i stopped up with frizzy ends. Not really the hairstyle I was looking for. But I think I hit rock backside, when one night time I went to put down next to my husband, and he looked over, rolled his eyes, and stated, "i’m so tired of you smelling like pickled herring, Bea. (Laughter) it’s quite now not sexy." So that is when I realized that perhaps I had long gone too some distance, and possibly I should to find a further substitute to shampoo. Finally this trial and mistake, we observed balance. We found that for Zero Waste to be sustainable in our family in the long run, all we had to do used to be follow five ideas so as.Now, don’t you guys even dare feel that we bury our waste in our backyard, or we throw it in other humans’s cans, or within the public bins. The primary rule is to refuse what we wouldn’t have. We have now simply learned to assert "no"; we are saying no to unsolicited mail, we are saying no to single-use plastics, we say no to freebies. For in these days, in this consumerist society, we’re the objectives of many purchaser goods. But whenever we accept them, we create a requirement to make more. At any time when we take a free plastic pen from a convention, it is a method for us to assert, "Please, drill extra oil from the ground to create a substitute, and the replacement can be created." The 2nd rule of the Zero Waste way of life is to cut down what we do need.So in our dwelling, now we have long gone by means of a decluttering system. The great thing about decluttering is that it lets you share the things that you don’t relatively use or want with other people. It boosts the second-hand market, which is tremendously essential for the way forward for Zero Waste. In my kitchen within the old days, I used to have a jar full of utensils. I had about ten picket spoons, unless i spotted that I only have two hands. And when I stir, I handiest need one hand. What is the factor of having ten wood spoons? One is ample. It is a photograph of underneath my sink. This is a area that was stuffed with cleaning merchandise considering that I was taking note of what the entrepreneurs tell us. They inform us that for each and every software, we want an extra product. To scrub the home windows, we’d like a product; to clean the flooring, another product; the bathroom, one other product; and we emerge as with a cabinet stuffed with poisonous products that we do not really need.We discovered that we will clean our entire house just with white vinegar and castile cleaning soap. That is our bathroom, and our medication cabinet. So this represents all the merchandise that we need in our bathroom. For illustration, to brush our enamel, we with ease sprinkle baking soda on a moist toothbrush. On my eyes, i take advantage of burnt almonds; on my dermis, i use cooking oil; and on my cheeks, i take advantage of cacao powder. The one challenge with making use of cacao powder on your cheeks is that you have a chance of getting attacked by way of puppies when you stroll down the street, but it hasn’t happened but.This is the master bedroom. And this, the closet that I share with my husband. Now, in a natural closet, folks handiest use 20% of their garments. They maintain the opposite 80% for the "what if." "What if…?" What if we have a job interview? What if we have now a marriage ceremony to move to? What if we’re going to drop extra pounds? What if we’ll achieve weight? What if, what if, what if? What we have carried out in our home is figure out what our 20% is, and we have now let go of the other eighty%. So in my case, i have one pair of shorts, two skirts, two dresses, two pairs of pants, seven tops, and one sweater. Having less does not mean that you have less options. In truth, these 15 portions permit me to create greater than 50 appears. My youngsters are minimalists too. That is my youngest son’s bed room. And as you can see, all of his wardrobe can fit in a lift-on. As a matter of fact, every of our wardrobes can slot in a lift-on. What the beauty of that is? If we want to go away for the weekend, every week, a month; all we have to do is pull out our elevate-ons, we throw our wardrobes in it, we zip it, we’re out the door, then a cleansing provider comes in, cleans the condo, after which we’ve got folks that come, employ the apartment out, and become purchasing our vacations.Do not go considering that we’re seeking to, or we disguise matters in different closets. That is our linen closet, and that is our storage. The 1/3 rule of the Zero Waste way of life is to reuse. And in our dwelling, reusing approach swapping some thing that is disposable for a reusable substitute. So this glass jar filled with handkerchief is what has changed the tissue field. No need for disposable sponges, or paper towels. We simply use rags, a wooden scrubby, and a steel scrubby. No need for disposable meals storage gadgets.We’ve got changed them all with glass jars. And we also have been equipped to get rid of meals packaging quite simply by going to the store with a package manufactured from reusables. So we store the bulk aisles of the grocery store. After which when I’m home, I switch the dry goods into glass containers so this is what our pantry appears like. And that is what our fridge looks like. We even buy our wine in bulk; we simply get our bottles refilled at a winery. The 2d rule of reusing is to purchase second hand.All our wardrobes are bought 2nd hand. Yes, even my sneakers. 5 bucks. Thank you, thanks. (Applause) i know I scored on these, i am mindful of that; I certainly scored. Now, for the gadgets that we are not able to find in a thrift retailer, then we fall again on areas just like the flea market. That’s where I purchased these chairs. Or repeatedly eBay for the relatively specified items that we want. The fourth rule of the Zero Waste way of life is to recycle handiest what we cannot refuse, minimize, or reuse. So the Zero Waste subculture does now not mean recycling more, it really approach recycling less, because of waste prevention in the first position. With this lifestyle, we now have discovered that we will have to avert plastics at all fees, on account that no longer simplest are they poisonous to our wellness when they’re being manufactured, they may be also toxic to our wellness when we are simply making use of them. Various the meals packaging virtually leaches into our meals.We’ve got additionally discovered that only a few plastics have the chance of being recycled, and those that do have a risk of being recycled are changing into an object that is no longer recyclable. So we take into account plastics as a fabric that is intended for the landfill. So we attempt to prevent it at all costs. And instead we prefer glass, steel, cardboard, paper, and typically wood, like the toothbrush you saw previous, considering the fact that we are able to compost them.Rot is the final rule to the Zero Waste tradition. At present we no longer only rot – compost fruit and veggie scraps however we also compost our butter wrappers. Butter is the only meals that we buy in packaging. Now we buy it in a waxed paper packaging on the grounds that we can compost it. However we also compost flooring sweepings, dryer lint, even our hair. Genuinely, it can be extra my boys’ hair. I don’t compost my hair, I recycle my hair. I let it grow right down to here, and then I get it reduce, and then I send it to an organization that makes wigs for melanoma patients. No longer so long ago, had I heard a few Zero Waste family, i would have idea to myself, "Oh boy, these folks have to be whole granola.I’m definite they are living within the boondocks, and i am sure she doesn’t shave." good, I wore a skirt today for you guys so which you could examine for yourselves. I shouldn’t have hair on my legs. (Applause) i would perhaps even have concept, "good, she ought to be a stay-at-home mom with way an excessive amount of time on her arms; she customarily issues about her waste all day, or makes a bunch of matters from scratch. That is now not the case; i’m a full-time official, and the one matters I make are my cosmetics, and very few of them. We discovered that the Zero Waste lifestyle isn’t just good for the environment however it is also been exceptional for our health, seeing that we’ve got been equipped to do away with all toxins from our lives, and we’re means less ill than we was once before. We also discovered that this Zero Waste subculture saves a ton of cash – 40% on our total finances. This is on account that that, one, we devour way, means, method less than earlier than. However after we buy whatever, it is only to switch whatever that wishes to be replaced – a shoe that has a gap in it, or a T-shirt that is too small.And once we purchase that alternative, we purchase it 2nd hand, which by using definition, fees much less. But we additionally buy our meals in bulk. Do you know that while you purchase an object in a package deal, 15% of the price covers the fee of the packaging? So when you buy in bulk, you’re making an computerized 15% savings. However sooner or later, we now have replaced anything that is disposable in our home for a reusable alternative. So that implies that our cash is no longer invested in throwaways, in a landfill. We now not throw our cash away. We’ve got alternatively, invested in reusables. And they’ve translated into cumulative financial savings over time.They’ve even allowed us to put in solar on our roof which allows us to save even more. But to me, the nice part of this subculture is voluntary simplicity. Given that it can be made time in our existence for what matters most: a life centered on experiences rather of matters. A life based on being alternatively of getting. As a family, because of this way of life, we’ve been capable to do things we would have by no means concept feasible earlier than. We have now been able to snorkel between two continents. We now have been ready to experience our bikes between San Francisco and la.We have now been in a position to go ice-mountaineering on a glacier. But my favourite photograph is almost always this one. I consider it represents the Zero Waste lifestyle to a T, when you consider that it is translated into a subculture full of absolute happiness. And if you have a young person, you know the way tough it’s to position a smile on their faces. In the end, , Gandhi mentioned, "Happiness is when you suppose, what you say, and what you do are in concord." The Zero Waste way of life has completed exactly that for me.Now, the little French au pair who came to the USA on the age of 18 would have on no account thought that sooner or later she’d be launching a worldwide motion. Seeing that at present, countless numbers and hundreds of thousands of folks throughout the world have launched into this tradition. My booklet and my weblog have even stimulated persons to open Zero Waste shops everywhere. Like Marie, who opened the primary Zero Waste store in Germany. And there may be Gerard, who, after reading my booklet, realized that there was a have to convey again available on the market products bought in returnable containers. After which there is Anne, I imply, seem at that retailer. How cute is that this mobile, little Zero Waste retailer? And you understand what we all have in usual? With ease the regret of now not having started prior. So i would encourage you guys to feel about this. What do you ought to lose by means of embarking on the Zero Waste way of life? Who knows what you would discover about yourselves? Possibly…Absolute happiness? Thanks. .

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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Two adults, two kids, zero waste | Bea Johnson | TEDxFoggyBottom

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/two-adults-two-kids-zero-waste-bea-johnson-tedxfoggybottom/

Two adults, two kids, zero waste | Bea Johnson | TEDxFoggyBottom

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solarwindandcosmicash · 7 years ago

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operation: drop it like it’s hot

Absent: Kate’s player

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The party goes barcrawling on the Citadel, and some of the actual players get tipsy. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

summary

After a brief shopping expedition with Elaye, the party departs with all of the Apricity crew (minus Irène and Telissa, who stay back on the ship, and Tris, Elaye, and Kilo, who disappear elsewhere) to check out a number of bars on the Citadel. They then witness several intense rounds of rock-paper-scissors between Apricity crewmates to determine who gets to pick the bar first. The Chens ultimately end up successful and lead the crew to a place called...

Surf’s Club

Loud, crowded, and popular, Surf’s Club is known for their cheap drinks and largely Alliance patrons. This is Cat Chen’s preferred bar, largely because this is the only place where she can be reunited with her friends from the military. The rest of the Apricity crew generally do not enjoy the place too much; the Chen triplets, however, couldn’t give less than a shit.

Events that occur here:

Cat arm-wrestles a friend of hers named Tascha Lorenz. There’s a betting pool involved, and Phos and Vasir end up winning 1049 and 99 credits, respectively.

The party learns that Cat joined the Alliance to support her sisters’ educations. Ann and Bea are forever grateful to her because of this.

They also find out that Cat lost a leg during a particularly arduous battle and left the Alliance soon after, following her sisters into academia.

Annos herds the crew and party out of Surf’s Club after some time. As determined by the several rounds of rock-paper-scissors, it is now Isolde’s turn to pick where they go, and she leads them all to a bar named...

Bar Cry

Bar Cry is a fairly respectable establishment as far as appearances go, though the patrons look pretty tough and the drinks are a bit more expensive. Isolde likes to come here not for the crowd or the drinks but for what the bar offers, which is a place called...

Rule Number One

Rule Number One is a fight club - Isolde’s home turf, in fact, before Annos hired her out. It’s a large, noisy space with several small arenas for fighters to sign up for competitions and for bystanders to bet on those competitions. It’s a popular place for turian officers, largely because it provides a poorly-supervised, unregulated area for them to beat the shit out of each other.

Isolde challenged Phos to a duel the first time they met. It’s only now, however, that they actually get the chance to duke it out.

Events that occur here:

Vekar falls into the arena, inadvertently joining Phos in the fight against Isolde.

Isolde thoroughly beats the shit out of both Phos and Vekar. Aster and Beetle win a sizeable number of credits.

Noogies. There’s a lot of screaming involved, and the Chens begin to film their docudrama, “The Relations Between Races After the Reaper War”.

Upon leaving Rule Number One and reentering Bar Cry, Annos ushers the crew and party out and allows the next person, as determined by the intense rounds of rock-paper-scissors, to choose where to go. This ends up being Aster, who brings everyone to...

Pumped Pub Kicks

Pumped Pub Kicks is a shady, seedy establishment that is frequented by mercs, black market dealers, and suspicious people of all types and forms. It’s different from the other bars that the party has been to so far - none of the patronage here seem interested in talking to each other, and strangers have isolated themselves thusly at tables, in corners, and at the counter. The Apricity crew, however, seems very comfortable here.

Events that occur here:

Vasir asks Fausius and Fawkes what the best dextro drinks are; Fausius recommends Noble Zombie and Gentle Blaze to them.

Phos pays Isolde to locate Leti Avonius.

Isolde reveals that her only priority is money, though why this is remains unknown.

Isolde tells the party she is 84.

Isolde, following through on her deal to Phos, overrides Rela’s decision through sheer force of will and brings the party to a place called...

Lounge Zero

Lounge Zero makes everyone on the Apricity uneasy and restless, and it’s not just because it’s frequented by C-Sec personnel: the entire bar is upper-class and its customers, interior design, and atmosphere are uncomfortably wealthy. Because of its socialite patronage, and because the party still technically has an arrest warrant on their heads, it’s a dangerous place to be - but it’s also, as Isolde had predicted, where Phos’s object of affection is.

Events that occur here:

Phos encounters Leti. After a strained interaction that might have ended in altercation were itn ot for Annos’s intervention, the two part ways, both feeling hurt and unhappy.

Beetle tricks three asari into investing in a made-up company called Bubbly. (It sells sparkling wine.)

Kara challenges the party to a dance-off. Beetle and Phos participate.

It’s revealed that Kara is an excellent dancer and has likely received profesional training.

Rela leads the party and crew to the last bar of the night after Annos quickly pushes everyone out of Lounge Zero. Phos spies Tris, Elaye, and Kilo on the way out, however, and makes her way over to speak with them and check in on the salarian child; once done, she reunites with the party and joins them as they end up at a bar named...

Walked Into

Walked Into a small bar, almost exclusively staffed and visited by locals around the area. The place gets its name from the pole situated at the center of its entrance, as new patrons often run into it and thus ‘walk into a bar’. Discounts are also provided to those who perform exemplary pole dances, but Walked Into also boasts good drinks, good music, and good company.

Events that occur here:

The party meets Rela’s sibling, a turian named Veron. They are a bartender at Walked Into and they and Rela seem extremely close.

Beetle pole dances.

The Apricity crew finally branches off here and individual members slowly make their way back to the ship itself.

notable lines + interactions

DM: Are we ready to go? Phos, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Let’s go, mammals. DM: Okay, last check. Are we all ready to go? Get it all out of your system, guys. Vekar, OOC: Yes. Phos, OOC: My vodka is ready. Vasir, OOC: I have more hard lemonade. Beetle, OOC: Yeeee. Hewwo? DM: You don’t sound ready. Beetle, OOC: Hewwo?

Vasir, OOC: Vasir is actually saving up money now, it’s amazing. Beetle, OOC: Hewwo?

DM, tiredly: Keep track of your money ‘cause I don’t fuckin’ know, man. Beetle, OOC: I was - I don’t - okay, so here’s - here’s a really good story. I was keeping track of mine and I accidentally cleared out my entire notes folder. Phos, OOC: Ohhhh. Vasir, OOC: Ohhhh. DM, head in her hands: Alright, [Beetle’s player]. Beetle, OOC(?): I’m dying! DM: We can deal with that - later. I’m not gonna let you buy things right now, though. Beetle, OOC: I hurt on the inside.

DM: Last mission was... [Phos’s player]’s, and you acquired a salarian child. Nothing bad happened, as I recall. Phos, OOC: Yeah. You all did pretty good. DM: Praise be.

Beetle, OOC: You see a curve in architecture and you’re like, “A fucking asari did this, didn’t they?” DM: Just a single curve. Beetle, OOC: Yeah. Vekar, OOC: But I mean, who knows? Not Bioware! Phos, OOC: Bioware, give us lore! Vasir, OOC: Right? I have to make up everything for quarians myself. Phos, OOC: Oh, god, we know even less about quarians than anyone else. Vasir, OOC: Enter me, the one-man operation to build their intelligence network because one day I was like, “Vasir should be a spy!” Phos, OOC: Horrible. Okay, let’s get this drunken show on the road, shall we? Beetle, OOC: Don’t dungeon and drink. Let’s go, mammals. DM: ... Okay, then.

in discord Beetle, OOC: hewwo

Vasir, OOC: [Beetle’s player], stop that. Beetle, OOC: [cackling]

Phos, OOC, sounding like death: [coughing] That’s a lot of vodka. Vasir, OOC: Are you okay, [Phos’s player]? Phos, OOC, sounding like death: No. Not really. Vasir, OOC: Did you swallow too much? Phos, OOC, recovering: No, it’s just the - god, the last bit of the glass is pure vodka and it takes some power to down it. Vasir, OOC: Yeah. Phos, OOC: But now I should be good for another half hour before having to worry about drinking again. Vasir, OOC: Meanwhile, I have to keep staggering my lemonades because we never start when I think we’re going to, so I have to keep drinking so slowly. Vekar, OOC, who had been one and a half hours late: I apologize.

DM: I don’t even remember what I said last time because it’s been a hot fifteen minutes and I don’t fucking know what happens in fifteen minutes.

in discord Vasir: vasir perception check: 5..............let me die............... Vekar: perception check: 16 -4 = 12 Beetle: beetle perception check: 3 +1 = 4 Phos: Perception: 5 + 1 = 6 Vasir: [posts this]

Phos: vasir, diassociationg Vasir: GOD

DM: Alright, you guys don’t notice a goddamn thing. Anyway... Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry your pretty little heads about anything.

Bea: We get to pick first! DM: And what you guys see next is this very intense round of rock-paper-scissors, except it’s between several people, so it’s very exciting. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck yes. DM: And in the end, one of the Chens does win, and she says - Ann: We get to pick first. We’re going to Surf’s Club. Aster: Can we - can we not? Can we not go there?

Cat: Surf’s Club is mostly Alliance patronage, which is why no one wants to go, so... any complaints? Phos: Hell, no. Vasir: I don’t care. Beetle: Nope. Phos: Time to snob up some Alliance officers. DM: [snorts] Vasir: Phos, please. Phos: I haven’t had a drink in like three months, give me this, Vasir. Give me this, please. Vasir: Alright, alright.

DM: Also, keep in mind, the more drunk you get, the more negative modifiers you get to your rolls, so depending how much you drink in-character and out-of-character, you may find yourself rolling - worse - Phos, OOC: Yeet. DM: - in places. Vekar, OOC: Only worse? We can’t do better? DM: Um, I guess in some circumstances you can do better, but it’s specific circumstances. Phos, OOC: Time to fish out another glass of vodka.

Vasir, OOC: I keep hearing ‘serf’s club’, and it makes me think of medieval serfdom, and it’s like - ‘surf’s club’ makes more sense. Beetle, OOC: I keep trying to think of a nautical-themed bar, but I keep thinking of Dangnamrompa’s Titty Typhoon. DM: Oh my god. Vasir, OOC: What. DM: You know what, uh - think of whatever you want. I’m not even going to describe this place, just, whatever you think it looks like, that’s what it looks like. Beetle, OOC: Sweet. Vasir, OOC: Yeah.

Phos, OOC, on the topic of splitting up the party: I am going to remain optimistic, for better or for worse.

DM: I wish I’d come up with a drink menu because I didn’t, and I just realized how stupid that was in retrospect - Vasir, OOC: Wait - Vekar, OOC: Hold on - hold on, that drink name generator we found - Vasir, OOC: We have it! Let me look at my history! Beetle, OOC: Beetle would like a space Long Island. DM: Space Long Island. That’s... incredible. Vasir, OOC: We’re okay! I found it! Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck, i forgot about this.

Beetle, OOC: I’m ordering a Flower Mud. - Shaken, not stirred. Vekar, OOC: Mild Enigma on the rocks, please.

Vasir, OOC: Vasir’s not going to get anything, I don’t think. DM: Yeah, there’s actually not a lot of stuff for dextro people here, so. Vasir, OOC: They’re going to wait to see if Vekar dies or not from ingesting it, so yeah. DM: Vekar, roll a constitution save - I’m just kidding, don’t actually do that. Beetle, OOC: This is the session where Vekar fucking dies. Vekar, OOC: Can I roll a perception check to ask the bartender if they actually have dextro stuff? DM, through laughter: Uh, yeah,, if you want to - I mean, you already ordered a drink, so I’m not really - Beetle, OOC: We’re making the inference that the bartender wouldn’t serve you something that would kill you. Vekar, OOC: Fair. Fair.

DM: Okay, do all of you go, or do Vekar and Beetle stay classy and stay by the bar counter. Vasir, OOC: Wow. Wow. Beetle, OOC: Um - Beetle shotguns an Apricot Puff.

Beetle, OOC: Alright, now Beetle’s ready to go over. Vekar, OOC: Someone’s gonna get real drunk tonight. DM: Oh, god.

DM: [. . .] And someone’s taking bets for this arm-wrestling contest. Beetle, OOC(?): Oh, fuck yes. Phos, OOC: I’m gonna bet on Cat because hell yes. Vasir, OOC: What’s the minimum threshold - Phos, OOC, interrupting: 1000 credits. DM: A th - wh - what? [laughter] Beetle, OOC: I’m betting on the dark horse. Vasir, OOC: What does that mean - Beetle, OOC: Tascha - [sees Phos’s bet] Oh, shit!

Vasir, OOC: I guess Vasir will bet 50 credits on Cat. Phos, affronted: 50‽ You gotta commit, Vasir! You gotta commit! Vasir: I am committing. I’m committing 50 credits because that’s all I feel like winning or losing today. DM, quietly: Oh, snap. Vasir: I’m not here to lose all of my money. Beetle: You think I’m actually going to pay the money that I’m betting? Vekar: Beetle, you shouldn’t say that out loud. DM: Beetle’s tipsy, she couldn’t help it.

in discord Vekar: drunk modifier: already honest

Beetle: You’ll have to kill me to get that 100 credits. Beetle, OOC: And Beetle bolts.

DM: So you get back whatever you put in along with an additional 49 credits. Phos, affronted: Forty-nine‽ DM: It’s a small betting pool, Phos, only 343 credits, that’s it! - I can feel your anger from here. Beetle: Oh, delicious, you liking those 49 credits?

Beetle: I put all of my money on you. Cat: Oh, that’s - did you get a lot of money then? Beetle, sounding like she’s dying of laughter: Yeah, I got so much money. Don’t tell Phos or Vasir, but I got way more money than them. Cat: I am not surprised by this.

Vasir, OOC: Oh, shit! Annos is out here with us, he came down to our level! Beetle, chanting: Assman, assman, assman! DM: Are you saying that to him? Or are you just saying it? Beetle, OOC: No, I’m just saying it.

Aster: The only reason we’re here is because Cat wants to catch up with some friends. We’ll be going to other places, don’t worry. Beetle: Cooler places? Aster: Obviously. DM: You’re not even there, but the answer is obviously.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle turns on Tactical Cloak. DM: And does what? Beetle, OOC: She goes over to the group. DM: And just stands there? Beetle, OOC: She waits for an opportunity. Phos, OOC: To get in a punny remark? Beetle, OOC: Yeah. DM, laughing: Okay.

in discord Vasir: annos [upon noticing Beetle]:

Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs for him. Phos, OOC: Anus dude is just so done with these shenanigans. DM: Yeah.

Isolde: What’s your experience fighting biotics? Phos, OOC: [goes into lengthy detail about how she combats biotics] Isolde: I’ll keep that in mind. Phos, OOC: [more details] Isolde: Good to know.

in discord Vekar: what’s your experience with biotics Vekar: “Yikes” DM:

Vekar: Phos is in for a wild surprise

Beetle, OOC: Can I roll a perception check on Isolde? DM: Sure. What exactly are you looking for? Beetle, OOC: What’s her class? - Other than economic. DM: Um, she is solidly bourgeois.

Annos: How much did you bet on this? Aster: Too much. Honestly, too much. Phos: On which one of us? Aster: That is for me to know and for you to find out potentially. Beetle: Don’t worry, I’ll bet everything I have on you. DM, faintly: You don’t even know how much you have, Beetle. Beetle, OOC: I know.

Vasir: Good job on the arm-wrestling. Guess you get tired eventually. Cat: Yeah. I don’t have a prosthetic arm, unfortunately. Phos, from across the bar: Those are cool! Cat, shouting back at her: I know! I got a leg like that! Phos, from across the bar: My eyes are like that! DM: Are you serious?

Ann: Um... Cat: I’ve been coming here for a long time. I joined the Alliance when I was - eighteen? Bea: We just went to school, though. Vasir: Yeah. [long pause] DM: Good talk, [Vasir’s player]. Good talk. Vasir, OOC: Hey, I’m distracted by drinking and everything. Beetle, OOC: I’m counting my money.

DM: Are you getting another drink, Beetle? Beetle, OOC: Hm... I’m gonna - you know what? We’re leaving this bar eventually for another one, so you know what? I’m gonna sit on that. Let it marinate. DM, very quietly: Goddamn.

Phos, OOC: I hope I get to meet the love of my life, especially since I’ve drawn fanart of her without actually speaking to her. DM: Patience, padawan. Phos, OOC: Ehhhhh. Is it that bad that I want the gay and I want it now? DM: No, it’s very in-character. Phos, OOC: Hm.

DM: Should I play some elevatorstuck into the recording? Beetle, OOC: No. Phos, OOC: Sure.

DM: Annos looks out into the bar, and it’s like - some sort of unspoken signal, like, everyone gets up and leaves at the same time, and you guys follow. Beetle: How often did you rehearse that? Annos: Too many times. Beetle, laughing: Fair enough.

Phos: In a hurry for something? Isolde: Come on, hurry up!

in discord Vasir: isolde is excited for: Vasir: a tea party Vasir: Hidden Depths Beetle: shes excited for hula hooping class

Phos, OOC: Phos fucking charges in. DM: Roll a dex saving throw.

Aster: Everything okay up there? Phos: Jolly - jolly good. I’m fine. Aster: It doesn’t sound fine, but okay.

in discord Vekar: Phos stubbed her eyes

DM: There’s a sign above the door and it says, “Rule Number One.” I’ll write that down so you guys can remember. Beetle: [posts this in discord] DM: God. Dammit. [Beetle’s player].

Isolde: Phos. You sure you’re ready for this? Phos: Isolde... [long pause] Phos: Loserisawhinypissbaby. DM: [laughter]

in discord Beetle: im imagining like those gym tennis courts Beetle: like at the YMCA Vekar: this is why the place is called Vekar: Rule number one

DM: Yeah, sure, the arenas are tennis courts. This is the YMCA. The YMCA fight club. Beetle, OOC: In the background, the YMCA song is playing. DM: Fuck, okay. Someone post it.

Vasir: Are you okay, Vekar? Vekar: No. Phos, OOC: Phos leans over to help him up and says - Phos: Vekar. - Are you READY‽ Vekar, sounding dead: Never, but there’s not much I can do about it now, is there?

in discord Vekar: when the bell rings the song should switch to this Vasir: another good fight song

Vekar: I might be alive, but I’m not living.

Phos: Too afraid to fight so we both have an advantage? Isolde: Yeah, actually. Beetle: Coward! Phos: That’s no fun. Isolde: It gets me money, though. Phos: Yeah, okay, fair. Beetle: That’s fair. I’m betting money on her. Credits on the coward.

DM: Beetle, Vasir, do you two interject somehow, or... Vasir, OOC: Interject how - Beetle: Kill her! Vasir, OOC: I’m just gonna keep watching.

in discord Vekar: please jump in Beetle: beetle put her fucking money on isolde Beetle: u think shes jumping in? Vekar: no but i could try to ask Beetle: you could

Vasir, OOC: See, Vasir has sense about these things and doesn’t trip and fall into arenas, Vekar. Vekar, OOC, sarcastic: Thank you. Vasir, OOC: I love you, but not that much.

Phos, OOC: Can I charge her? DM: You are definitely not close enough for that.

DM: Roll damage, which is 2d8, I believe. - Wait, shit, Charge is a talent. Fuck. Phos, OOC: I have 2d8 times 2 for damage written down on my sheet. DM: ... Why times 2? Phos, OOC: I don’t know. DM: That doesn’t seem right. Get rid of that times 2, it’s just a charge. [a pause] Yeah, I guess we’ll just say it’s - no, oh god, what was the terminology I used for this, it should be 5d4, but... I don’t know, ugh - 2d8, just do 2d8. Phos, OOC, waiting for a bit so the DM can finish muttering to herself: 2d8. Okay. I just gotta keep my notes updated correctly, you know? DM: I just gotta get my shit together, you know? Beetle, OOC: Don’t we all. DM: True.

Beetle: If only you had some grenades! Phos: Shut up, Beetle! Vekar, OOC: I do have some grenades, but I’m dead.

DM: Melee does way too much damage. I’ll need to fix that. - Lateeeeeer. Beetle, OOC: Stabby McWarhammer is the strongest thing in this campaign. DM: I mean, you’re not wrong. Vekar, OOC: Get ‘em, boss.

DM: Okay, yeah. Um, you just - do you pick her up by the neck, is this the - Phos, OOC: No, it’s not the usual. I imagine I’m in front of her, so I just pick her up in a way so she can’t move her arms and stuff. Beetle, OOC: Oof, power move. I love it. Phos: Time to tap out? DM: She just laughs.

in discord Vekar: drunk modifier: Is this how you spell Sgrenth?

Isolde, after she and Phos slapped each other in the face by accident: Wow, uh - guess that took more out of us than we thought, huh? Phos: Yep. I guess we’re both - we were both both a little too eager for that fight. Isolde: I guess so. Beetle, you still want a high-five? Beetle: Hell, yeah.

Beetle, OOC: What’s epicness? 1d20? DM: Yep. It’s okay - Isolde failed utterly.

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna slap Beetle in the face! DM, laughing: Why? Vekar, OOC: Why not? Phos, OOC: Not a chin-slap, like, push my palm into her face, like, pushing her backwards. Beetle, OOC: Um, Beetle’s going to roll to bite your hand.

in discord Vekar: assisted facepalm Vasir: vasir, almost disassociating: what

Aster: Okaaay, let’s just go on upstaaairs, alright? Ann: No no no no! No no, no no! Beetle: You don’t want the people to see us? Afraid to let the people know who we are? Bea: No no! We should let them keep doing this, it’s funny, it’s great, I’m recording this! Aster: I think we should go - upstairs. I’m gonna go - upstairs. Vasir: I’m gonna go upstairs with him, too.

in discord Vasir: WHAT EI S HAPPE NIGn Vasir: TEAM BONDING Vasir: vasir instantly leaves

DM: How does this even work, you’re almost the same height - okay, so, I guess Phos, you hook your arm around Beetle’s neck and drag her down and give her a noogie. And Beetle is fucking screaming her head off, and Aster’s just like - Aster: Nooooope. Nope! DM: And, uh, god. Okay. Uh. And Isolde’s just like - Isolde, sounding like she is ready to never associate with these people again: Alright. I’m gonna go, but have fun. Phos: Wait, Isolde, let’s drink some! Isolde, in the same tone: We’re in the fucking fight club, Phos. There’re drinks - upstairs. Which is where I’m going, and you should come too - Beetle: Oh, fuck, I want drinks. Phos, OOC: I drag Beetle with me by the fucking neck. Beetle, OOC: Beetle’s, like, still, like, head still held, but she’s like, “oh, drinks? Yeah, alright.” DM: The Chens are recording all of this, like, there’s one in front of you, one behind you, they’ve got this on fucking lock. Phos, OOC: it’s a cinematic documentary of the relationship between krogan and salarians. Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. Beetle, OOC: With commentary. Vekar, OOC: Subtitle: how things have improved after the Reaper War. Beetle, OOC: The first part is just Phos pushing her hand agaisnt Beetle’s face and then Beetle just chomps her.

Vasir: That’s the last time I wach you people in a fight club. Vekar: That’s the last time I participate in a fight club.

DM: Oh god, this fucking name, I’m gonna fucking lose it. Beetle, OOC: Titty typhoon. DM: Okay, Aster takes the lead for this one, and you get to this fucking pub - [sounding like she’s about to cry] I can’t - I can’t say this name. Phos, OOC: Come on! Vekar, OOC: Do it! Phos, OOC: Do it! Beetle, OOC: Type it.

in discord DM: pumped pub kicks

DM, on the verge of a meltdown: Fucking hell - I’m gonna die. Beetle, OOC: Pumped pub kicks. [breaks into song] Phos, OOC: I am dying. I am dead. Vasir, OOC: I don’t under - oh. Oh. I see. That’s what [Beetle’s player]’s singing about.

Vasir, OOC: Hey! DM: Did you get more than a 5? Vasir, OOC: I did! Phos, OOC: Beetle didn’t. Beetle, OOC: Beetle doesn’t know hell about shit. Vekar: [rolls a 19] Phos, OOC: Holy shit, Vekar. Carrying for days. Beetle, OOC: For once! For once.

Fausius: Drink responsibly. Vasir: I will. Beetle, yelling across the bar: You think I do anything responsibly? Fausius, yelling across the bar: No, actually.

Beetle: Is fishing legal? Vasir, OOC: Oh, no. Phos, OOC: Not this again. Bartender: There’s nowhere to fish on the Citadel. Vasir, OOC, with more feeling: Oh, no. Beetle: But there’s water, right? Fish live in water. Bartender: Uh, yes. Where - are you going to be fishing in a water glass? What’s your plan? Beetle: There’s like - you know, there’s like that big - pool. What’s the word for it. Bartender: Uh-huh. Beetle: And then there’s fish in it. Bartender: Uh-huh. Beetle: And then you can catch them and eat them like animals. DM, Vasir, Phos, and Vekar: [incredulous laughter] Bartender: Listen. I don’t know where you learned that - where - I don’t know where you’re talking about. There’s nowhere on the Citadel like this. Why are you asking me? Beetle: You’re a bartender. You know things. Bartender: I know drinks. Beetle: Alright. Give me another one. Bartender: Okay. DM: He gives you an Evil Plus.

in discord Vekar: Drunk modifier: "Hewwoo?" DM, Beetle, and Phos: [react with 🔪]

DM: Okay, so - Beetle, OOC: Wait. Beetle goes to give Phos a noogie. DM: Roll - roll for it. Vekar, OOC: This is going to go so well. Phos, OOC: You gotta beat me! [rolls a 1] Shit! Vasir, OOC: I have no idea what’s going on anymore. Phos, OOC: Noogies for days! Beetle, OOC: Revenge.

in discord Vekar: A salarain gave a nuggie to a krogan Vekar: this is a thing that happened Vasir: jahlo actually saved the galaxy Vekar: The world could always use more Beetles Vasir: its a brave new world [Vekar's player]

Rela: Okay, I’m gonna have to cut you off, like - Beetle, no more drinks, okay? Please. Beetle, petulantly: Okaaaay. Rela: No, really, like do I need to watch you for the rest of the night? Do I have to be on Beetle watch? Is this something I need to do? Beetle: Nooooo. DM: Um. Are you lying to her? Beetle, OOC: [laughs] Phos, OOC: I’d take that as a yes. DM: She’s gonna roll a perception check.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle points at whatever Vasir’s drinking and is like - Beetle: What is that? What are you drinking with? Vasir: It’s called a straw, Beetle. Beetle: What the fuck is that. DM, laughing: Throwback, holy shit, that was so long ago. Vasir: Fuck you. Beetle: Don’t bullshit me, Vasir. Vasir: You’re full of bullshit right now, Beetle. Shut up.

DM: Okay, gotta get that waiting music again. What did we agree on again? Vekar, OOC: Elevatorstuck? Beetle, OOC: YMCA. Phos, OOC: [posts this]

DM: You’re in this really shady bar doing all of these - stupid things, and people are watching you.

Beetle, OOC: This bar seems fine. Vekar, OOC: “These are some fine patrons,” Beetle says as she pats a mugger on the back. DM: Okay. Beetle - it’s a bar. You got drinks. You’re fucking drunk, man. You can get more drinks! You’re pretty happy.

DM: Phos, you’re gonna go dancing? Phos, OOC: YEAH. Beetle, OOC: [posts this]

DM: [ . . . ] You dance super well, and you have a moment of thought where you’re lke, “It’s too bad the chief of C-Sec is not here to see this.” Phos, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: The chief of C-Sec isn’t here to see her siren call.

in discord Vasir: phos: super serious discussion abt kilo Vasir: phos: is then like fuck it Vasir: phos: goes to dance

DM: I mean, what do you do when you’re done? Do you just keep dancing - forever? Forever? Phos, OOC: I like, have a few songs. Beetle, OOC: This is Phos’s new home. DM: Do the rest of you guys do anything? Or are you ready to move on? Vekar, OOC: We can move on. Beetle, OOC: We can move on. Beetle got banned from the bar, so.

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna walk over to Tris. DM: Okay. Does anyone come with, or is it just you? [long pause] Vasir and Beetle, OOC: Uhhhh. DM, laughing: I’ll take that as a no. Beetle, OOC: We’re abandoning you, Phos! Weakest link! Phos, OOC: I don’t caaaaaare!

Phos, OOC: And then I go find the rest of the party. DM: Run to catch up. Beetle, OOC: Sorry, we voted you off the island. Vasir and Phos, OOC: [laughter] DM: You’re never coming back. Should I make you roll for it? Do I want to be that kind of person - yeah, I do. Roll - [laughter] roll a knowledge roll, do it.

Vasir, OOC: All alone on the Citadel. Doot, doot. Beetle, OOC: Wait, can Beetle call Phos? DM: Can Phos pick up her omni-tool? Beetle, OOC: I’ll try it. Phos and Vasir, OOC: [laughter] Vekar, OOC: Here we go.

Beetle: Phos. Where the fuck are you? Phos: Where the fuck are you? Beetle: I don’t fucking know, you think I know shit? I don’t. Phos: Gimme your coordinates or some shit. Because I’m gonna go there, and we’re gonna get more drunk. You up for that? Beetle: Oh, fuck yes. Space Google Maps. Let’s do this. Phos: Hell yeah. DM: ... Roll a tech roll?

in discord Vekar: this is what plays at lounge zero

Isolde: Lounge Zero. I’m sure you can find it on your own. Phos: Thanks, Isolde. You’re a lot more helpful than other people I know. Isolde, over Beetle laughing: You’re fuckin’ welcome.

Beetle: Sorry to interrupt your discussion, I’ve got a few drinks in, but - I don’t usually do this. I’ve just come across a lucrative investment opportunity and I’ve been looking for some young, upstanding people to get onto that with me, you know, get on the ground zero, if you will. DM: That’s a terrible joke. As your DM, I’m just telling you right now, that’s a fucking terrible joke. Beetle, OOC: Fuck you, inspiration point. DM: [laughter] No.

Asari: What do you mean? Beetle: I’m interested in opening a business venture. Asari: In what? Phos, OOC: Nooooo. Beetle: It would be, uh, it would be something, uh, [OOC] can I roll to think of something super fancy? DM: If you roll, what does that accomplish? Beetle, OOC: Fuck, yeah. Um. Phos, OOC: You gotta roleplay this. You gotta. Beetle: I’m interested in, um, I am interested in getting only the finest champagne shipped and handled to the upper tiers of our society. My business is currently small but I feel that it could grow expansively. Asari: What is the name of your business? Beetle: Its name is - uh - [breaks into laughter]

in discord Phos: The sweet sip Vekar: and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming DM: and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming

Beetle: Its name is ‘The Sippy Cup’ - no, I’m fucking with you. Its name is the - Bubbly. You know, ‘cause that’s another name for champagne. DM, quietly and strained: That’s so bad. Oh my god. Beetle: Look, I’m sorry, I - DM: No, I know, I know. You’re on the spot here, it’s okay. - They’re gonna look this up. So like, uh, let me see what they think of this.

Asari: Alright, we’re listening. You want a lucrative business - what exactly are you looking for? Investment? Something else? When would you be moving to the Citadel? I need details. Beetle: Uhhhh. Let me think about this, I’m sorry. Asari: No, please, take your time. [pause] Beetle: I’ve been looking to expand my enterprises, and, you know, and expand past the, uh, planet my company is currently based upon and move our base of operations to, uh, a big booming industry area like the Citadel, which is frequented by many people all the time. I am looking for bright young investors to get in on this and get a good, hearty portion of this. Asari: Investments. Beetle: Get some pie. Asari: Okay. [pause] Look, I’m going to trust you with this. I do expect to see your business reports at some point, and information on your business. Beetle: Of course. Asari: So if I could get your contact information? Beetle, hesitantly: ... Yes. Beetle, OOC, laughing: Beetle gives her her contact information. DM: Do you? Do you actually? Beetle, OOC: Um. Fuck, let me think. - I give her one of my burner numbers. Asari: We’ll be in touch with you shortly. Beetle: Pleasure doing business with you. Asari: And with you.

in discord Vasir: Vasir has a great poker face and a faceplate besides but theyre quietly losing their shit Vekar: im pretty sure we can tell behind the face plate Phos: The faceplate isnt enough Phos: they also gotta poker it through this Vasir: excuse you neither vekar or phos are up in vasir's business to tell

Phos, OOC: Would my zero-G training help with this? DM: You’re not in zero-G. Beetle, OOC: Does my Acrobatics training help? DM: Yeah, fuck, sure, why not. Beetle, OOC: Hell yeah. Phos, OOC: Hell no. Ah fuck! - my dice just went everywhere.

DM: What does your dance look like?

in discord: Vasir: [posts this and this]

Beetle, OOC: We’re doing pair square dancing - oooohohoho. That’s Beetle. Vasir, OOC: Behold, my reaction gif collection. Phos, OOC: The top one is Phos, the bottom one is Beetle.

Beetle: You know what we have to do. We have to kill this pole. Vasir: Let’s not damage their property before we get any drinks out of them, huh, Beetle? Beetle: ... But after. Vasir: Maybe, after.

Beetle: Give me something with a straw. Veron: I can make any drink and put a straw in it. Beetle: Oh, fuck yes. Veron: Do you have any specific in mind? Vasir: You told me you didn’t believe in straws, Beetle. But you just called it a straw. Beetle: I’m compromising my ideals so I can fucking drink my drink and not spill it. Vasir: Mm-hm. Sure. Keep telling yourself that. Beetle: I’ll live with that in the morning. - I’ll have a Mocha Lion. Veron: Good choice. Beetle: That seems nice. Though I prefer the Smooth Lion. Veron: Do you want a paper umbrella in there, too? Beetle, intensely satisfied: Yes.

DM: What time is it over there? Phos, OOC: 4:30 AM. DM: Holy shit. Vasir, OOC: Are you okay, [Phos’s player]? Beetle, OOC: Are you alive? Phos, OOC: Perhaps. It depends on whether I manage to score this fucking turian at the end of the campaign. Vekar, OOC: Are you even real right now, [Phos’s player]? Phos, OOC: Yes, [Vekar’s player]. I’m always real.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle’s like, with her face pressed against the counter, mumbling - Beetle: I heard about pole dancing. Veron: Yeah, yeah, if you dance really well on the pole, you get discounts on the drinks. That’s what we’ve always done, I guess. Or at least for as long as I’ve been here, that’s been the case. Beetle: I can’t promise quality, but it seems fun. Veron: Well, the point is that you have to dance - uh, well, okay.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle walks off towards the poles. DM: The pole is at the entrance. Which you walked into. Beetle, OOC: Oh, I’m gonna destroy this. DM: Roll for it. Beetle, OOC: I would just like to tell you, Beetle’s goal is not only to pole dance, but also to destroy it with her thighs.

chattin’ with the Apricity crew

Cat: You know why I joined the Alliance, Vasir? Vasir: Why did you? Cat: I had to support my sisters through college somehow. I think it was worth it. Phos, OOC: Oh, shit. Vasir: Definitely seems to be the case. Cat: Well, I lost a leg for it, so I hope so. Bea: We could design you a better leg. Ann: We could do it. We’ve drawn blueprints. It would be awesome. Beetle, OOC: We have the technology. Vasir: Would the leg contain the flamethrower or something, knowing you three? Beetle: What about a jetpack leg? DM: Just one jetpack leg? Beetle, OOC: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Vasir just bursts out laughing. Bea: No, because that would be unbalanced. Ann: And not a flamethrower. That would be a fire hazard, among other things, and if it exploded that would be bad. But - Cat: No, I do not need a harpoon in my knee. Ann: It would be so fucking cool. You could jump around and harpoon yourself through the air and swing around, and it would be amazing. Cat: No. Beetle: I’m going to correct that. Don’t you mean ‘grappling hook knee’? Bea: No. Harpoons. Beetle: ... Fair. What would it take for you to get me a harpoon knee? Ann: A missing leg. [long pause] Beetle: I have grenades. Vekar: Beetle, no self-amputations while I’m here. Cat: I don’t recommend grenades. It’s quite painful. Beetle: Oh? Are you a doctor? Cat: ... No, but I’m missing a leg. I think that’s some pretty good experience right there. Got some fieldwork done. Beetle: Okay, okay. I’ll take advice from someone else who’s best qualified to tell me how to remove my leg with a grenade. Cat: You just - you just - okay, you just completely missed my point, that’s fine. That’s fine. Beetle, OOC: Beetle gives her a thumbs-up. DM: Cat holds her hand up for a high-five. Beetle, OOC: Hell yes. I do it. DM: Nice. Roll for epicness. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck. Vasir, OOC: Beetle just smacks her in the face. Phos, OOC: I’m not drunk enough for this. Give me a moment.

Phos: Hey, thanks for beating my ass. Next round’s on you. Isolde: Uh, fuck no. Phos: I’m gonna put that on your tab anyway. Isolde: Hey, listen, Phos. If you do that, I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you. Beetle, OOC: [laughter] Phos: You already did, so I have no fear left. Isolde: No, really. I will fucking kill you. [pause] Beetle, OOC: I think she’s gonna fucking kill you. Phos: Okay, look. I - fine. I won’t - I won’t make you pay for it. But you gotta help me with a thing. Isolde: Uh-huh. Phos: There’s somebody I’m looking for, so if you could keep an eye out, I’d appreciate it. Isolde: Why should I do this? Phos: Because it’s somebody I might be interested in wooing, and isn’t that always nice to hear about? Isolde: Listen, Phos? My priority is always money. Is there something in this for me? Phos: Mm. I will give you information on Beetle. Isolde: [snorts] No. Beetle: I’ll kill you. Phos: I’ll give you 500 credits if you find this person. Isolde: Done. Who is it? (Phos, butchering the name: Liti Anovius. DM: Okay, hold on, time out. You do not know her name, Phos, I just wanna point that out. Phos, OOC: Yes, okay, you’re right, sorry.) Phos: It’s - I actually didn’t get her name. It’s - you heard the circumstances of us getting recruited? She was the turian chief that captured us. Isolde: You are trying to woo the chief of Citadel Security. Is that what I’m hearing? Phos: Yes. Isolde: Do you have a death wish? Phos: Well - she’s - Beetle: Maybe? Isolde: I remember from the reports that, uh, you guys are not supposed to be on the Citadel ever again. Like, if you see her, she’s probably going to try to fucking arrest you. Beetle: Hey, I’m exempt from that. I wasn’t here before that mess. Isolde: Okay, fine. I think - I know who you’re talking about. She’s not here, but I can keep an eye out for her if you want - wait. Wait a second. No, wait, actually, I do know where she might be. I’ll see if I can get us to go there next. Phos: Isolde, you’re the best. Even if you’re a greedy money-grubber. I appreciate that. Isolde: Pay up. Phos, OOC: I give her 500 credits. DM: Nice. Take that out of your inventory. Isolde: Pleasure doing business with you. Beetle: Isolde, you stole my power move.

in discord Phos: phos loses money; gains the possibility of getting arrested once again

DM: Isolde looks at your drink, and then at your straw, and then she says - Isolde: Can quarians get drunk? (Phos: YES. Isolde: I didn’t ask - Phos: I’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN. Beetle: Hell yes.) Isolde: I’ve never actually seen Kara or Tris drunk, so like, it’s a legitimate question, I don’t actually know. Beetle: I feel like that’s more about their judgment than - Vasir: Would you all shut the fuck up, please. Beetle: No? Vasir, OOC: And then Vasir turns to Isolde. Vasir: Yes, quarians can get drunk, but we don’t really get hangovers as badly as humans can. Isolde: Cheers to that. Vasir: Indeed. So looks like you had a good fight. Isolde: Yeah, it was easy. - Sorry, Phos. Phos: [sad noises] Vasir: Well, did you have fun at least? Isolde: I mean, yeah, I made bank. I’m good. That’s what I used to do before I was fucking hired for this, like, it’s always good to go back to my roots. Phos: It was fun, but I haven’t done this in a few years. Isolde: Get some better shields next time. Phos: Will do. Vasir: It’s okay, Phos. Isolde: It really isn’t. I fucking murdered you. You gotta fix that. Phos, OOC: She laughs at that, because she respects that Isolde is a lot stronger than her at the moment. (Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry, we’ll level up soon. Vekar, OOC: Will we? DM: Not after this operation, that’s for sure.) Phos: Yeah, well, that’s just how it is. It was fun though. Isolde: I’m glad you had fun getting your ass kicked. I guess. Phos: It’s not always about the profit gain, but more about what you can expect the next time you face them. Isolde: Hm. I disagree. Phos: Well, that’s me and that’s you and we each have our own deals to take care of. Isolde: Yeah, and I’m so much richer than you. Phos: How old are you anyway? Isolde: ... Why do you want to know? Phos: Curious. Isolde: Yeah, I’m, uh, not gonna tell you that. Sorry. Phos: That’s boring. Didn’t know you were such a mood-killer, Isolde. Isolde: How - what mood am I killing? Are you hitting on me? Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. No, no - Beetle, OOC: Beetle just starts laughing. Vasir, OOC: Vasir starts laughing too, honestly. Beetle, OOC: Standing on the sidelines, laughing. Phos: No, I’m more interested in a certain tall turian. No thanks. Isolde: Then why are you asking my age? What relevance is that? Phos: I thought about your experience and you seem to have generally - like, even though you asked beforehand, you seem to have a decent sense of how I would move afterwards. Isolde: Fight club. Mercenary. Commando unit. I’ve seen a lot. Phos: Yeah. I guess. It just puts into perspective how - since we’re two of the usually longest-lasting races, it put intso perspective how much we’ve gained. Isolde: That’s fair. I’m eighty-four. Phos: Oh, you’re younger than me. Isolde: Yes. Phos: That’s - that’s pretty neat. (Beetle: You’re a fuckin’ baby.) Phos: I respect that. Isolde: Yep! Is that all? Phos: Yeah - uh - I - yeah, that’s - it wasn’t like an interrogation, I was only curious. That’s pretty hardcore, Isolde. Isolde: Thanks. Phos: Thanks for the fight today. Isolde: You’re welcome.

Beetle: Do you think Kilo’s gonna kick all of our asses when they grow up? Isolde: Absolutely. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck yes. Isolde: If any of us have anything to say about it, then yeah, definitely. Vasir: Maybe they’ll actually want to learn hacking, unlike some asari sitting next to me. Isolde, laughing: Shut up. Phos: Wait - so - are you guys - I need to know this, actually, because I’ve been takin care of the kid for almost a full year or two at this point - do you guys have plans for the future, otherwise I would like you guys to think of it, at least. Isolde: Plans for the future. Like what, not dying? What do you want? Vasir: I know, right? Phos: More like do you have any ideas what there - how they’ll grow up to be, because you guys are all mercenaries, mix and match, all that. Do you want to drag them into that again? Beetle: Oh, I have an idea. I have Fischer Price grenades. Vasir, exasperated: Beetle. Phos, serious: No. Beetle? You’re gonna be keeping those grenades away from them. [long pause] Beetle, OOC: Beetle turns on her Tactical Cloak. DM: [startled laughter] Isolde: Look, you should talk to Tris about this. Phos: Yeah, but it’s also the rest of the crew that’s involved in this because they’ll be around you guys. Isolde: Sure, but - you should talk to Tris. Phos: Hm. Isolde: Look, I don’t know, okay, I live by the paycheck. Like, if someone pays me more, fuck, I’ll even kill you guys. I don’t care. Just - why are you asking me this? Phos: I was just thinking about if any of you - if everybody else would be getting involved in how they would be raised. Isolde: Fuck if I know. Well, hopefully. Phos: I hope so too, Isolde. I really hope so. Isolde: You could just take them. I mean, since you’ve been taking care of them for so long, you might as well, if it really comes down to it. Phos: I couldn’t take care of them personally, considering all the bounties on my head. Isolde: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Phos: Yeah, that’s a thing.

Phos: Annos? Even though it’s Tris who made the decision, I’m gonna need your word that Kilo is going to grow up with some kind of skill that will let them survive this hell that we’re going through. DM: He kind of looks at you for a bit. Annos: As much as I would like to be able to do that, I can’t promise anything. You know who we work for. This is Tris’s independent decision. Phos: I know that. Annos: You need to talk to her. Phos: But are you gonna be involved in this? Or are you gonna stay out of it? Annos: I’ll keep them safe. That’s the best I can do. Phos: I guess I’ll take that. It’s - it’s just a bit of a mess. I didn’t really expect that Tris would be so interested in Kilo. Annos: Really. Phos: Yeah. Annos: You don’t know her very well, I suppose. Phos: I don’t know Tris very well. I know Kilo, but Kilo’s only two years old. This is - I know salarians grow up quickly, but you gotta - I could barely figure out how to kill, like, attack or defend myself when I was two years old, and we’re dragging Kilo into this? If anything happens to Kilo, I’m out of this, I’m just gonna warn you. Kilo is one of the few things who’s really, like, important to me. If anything happens to them, the whole deal’s off. Annos: [amused sound] Implying there was a deal in the first place - listen. I can’t promise you anything. I can give you my word that I will try to keep them safe, but I can’t - I can’t promise you anything. We’ll do our best, but at the end of the day, you know who we work for. Phos: I know. Annos: And that’s it. Phos: I know. It also limits things. But I just need to warn you, just in case. You’ve earned my respect, Annos, you’ve kept this weird group of people from not killing each other, but we’re still here. And you’ve saved us several times by sending people in at the right time. I appreciate that. Annos: Sure. What’s your point? Phos: I trust your leading capacities, but you just gotta know that Kilo is first priority, so if it’s mid-mission or anything like that, and I hear anything about them, I’m not gonna hurt any members of the ship, but if they are responsible for anything happening to Kilo, I’m not going to be afraid of retaliating that damage. Annos: Tris will die before she lets anything happen to them. Phos: I don’t know Tris very well, so I can’t say I trust that. Annos: Believe me. Phos: I wish I could. I really wish I could. DM: He kind of tilts his head at that, like, okay, fair. Annos: Anything else you need to talk about? Phos: Nope, that was pretty much it.

Annos: How drunk are you - no, better question, how many drinks have you had? Beetle, OOC: Beetle counts on her fingers, and she says - Beetle: Fuck, I only have six fingers. Aster: Here, use mine. DM: And he, like, holds out his hands to you. Beetle: Uhh - uhh - I think - I think - I think I had - five? Aster: You didn’t even need my hand, then, what - Beetle: No, I just got confused, I had three on one hand, and then I was like, ‘oh, fuck, I have three fingers,’ and I got scared, I’m not gonna lie. Annos: Uh - maybe drink some water for a bit, okay? Beetle: I’d rather die. Annos: I know you would, but please. Personal favor. Beetle: Can I get another favor? Annos: Yeah, sure. Beetle: Okay, sweet. I’ll get some water.

DM: Tris just kind of nods at you, and Elaye also just kind of nods at you. Kilo: Hi, Phos! How are you doing? We got all this neat stuff and there were a lot of big stores. I’ve never seen that many. How do that many people live in one place? It’s weird. Tris, to Kilo: The Citadel is very large. [to Phos] Hi, Phos. Phos: Hi, Tris, uh. Are you guys planning on joining any of us? Tris: I’m not taking a kid to a bar. Please. Phos: Yeah, that’s fair. But I was just gonna check up. Phos, OOC: Phos pats Kilo on the head and smiles. Phos: Tris, I’m gonna have to just - it’s nothing, it’s - it’s kind of important for Kilo’s future, so I’m gonna have to talk to you when we get to the Apricity. Are you up for that? Tris: Yeah, whatever. Phos: Sure. Phos, OOC: Phos kneels down to Kilo’s height and says - Phos: I’m - I’ll see you back on the Apricity. I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to be around with my friends. You be nice to Tris and Elaye, okay? Kilo, OOC: Kilo, like, jumps to try and give her a hug.

in discord Beetle: kilo give her a noogie

Party: [startled laughter]

DM: ruin the moment DM: :ok_hand:

Kilo: Yeah, I’ll be good, Phos, I always - I always do my best to be. Phos: Yeah, I know you do. (Phos, OOC: Kilo will not give Phos a noogie. Kilo will not because Kilo is a nice child - Vasir, OOC: Until Beetle teaches them how to do it. Phos, OOC: - and they have yet to interact with Beetle and thus has yet to be corrupted. Beetle, OOC: Beetle is going to teach Kilo how to give noogies.) DM: Before you get up, Tris reaches out her hand to stop you before you actually move off. Tris: They’ll be fine, okay? I’m not gonna let anything happen to them. Phos: I know. It’s just - a year of taking care of them is hard to shake off, you know. Tris: I understand.

Isolde, after Phos fucked up with Leti: Told you. DM: And then she just goes to the bar. Phos, OOC: Can I, like, roll to whack her on the back of the head? Like, ‘don’t get cocky.’ DM: I mean, yeah, roll for it. She’ll try and dodge.

Kara: Do you guys like bets? Vasir, very quietly: Oh no. Phos: Yeeeeeeaaaah. Beetle: Yes. Vekar: This is going to end well. Kara: How about a dance off, then? Phos: Hell yeah. Vasir, OOC: You just hear Vasir mutter, ‘Keelah,’ in the background. Kara: Whoever loses buys drinks for everybody. Beetle: Alright. I’m in. Phos: Hell yeah. Beetle: Let’s go. Vasir: [sighs]

Kara: The rest of the crew will be judging. Vasir, Vekar, if you want to judge as well, you’re certainly welcome too. Vekar: Spirits. Phos, OOC: Are we still in the fancy bar? DM: Yes, you are. Phos, OOC: So Leti is still there. DM: Yes, she is. Beetle: I do have to keep up my image. Vekar: So does that mean you’re going to Tactical Cloak out of this? Beetle, OOC: Are the three investors Beetle convinced still around? DM: Yeah, they’re still there. Beetle: Can we take this party out of sight of my marks? Kara: I suppose we could. Phos: Nooooo. Beetle: I’d rather do this in the street than lose my money. Kara: I respect that. I really do. Beetle: Thank you. I respect you. Phos: But I want to show the turian what she’s missing. DM, laughing: How about you both roll persuasion checks? Vasir, OOC: [sighs] DM: I’m sorry, [Vasir’s player]. Vasir, OOC: Oh my god.

Kara: Well, I suppose someone could distract them. Get them to leave. Beetle: Who wants to volunteer to do that? DM: Absolutely no one answers that. Beetle, OOC: [laughs] Beetle: Vasir? Vasir: No. I already let you get Stabby onboard, I’m not part of this. Beetle: Those are two completely unrelated events. I’ll give you some of the money I got. Vasir: Yeah. Why do I absolutely not believe that at all? Beetle: Because I’m a trustworthy person and you’re naturally suspicious? Vasir: Uh-huh.

in discord Vasir: this is vasir right now Vasir: [posts this]

DM: [whispers] annos owes you favors

Beetle: ... And also Annos owes me so you may cash. Vasir: So why not just ask Annos? I’m not helping you, Beetle. Beetle: Yeah. Vasir: Besides, I’m a quarian. This is the Citadel. I’m not going to have as much luck as you did. Beetle: You know what? That’s true. That’s fair. Annos. Annos, warily: What. Beetle: Assman. Annos, immediately: No. Beetle; Favor. I drank the water. Annos: Okay. I saw you drink the water, but then you shotgunned another drink, but fine. Beetle: Yes! Annos: What. Is it. Beetle: Could you possibly get those three young asari over there to leave before I enter this dance-off? Annos: ... That’s your favor? Beetle, laughing: Yes. Assman, look, look, look, it’s a long story, and I’m going to explain it to you when I’m sober, but right now. Annos: Alright. Alright. Okay.

DM: And the asari get up and leave, after about a minute. Annos looks back at you and he looks so fucking done. Beetle, OOC: [laughter]

Kara: Okay, the song is ending. Can we - Beetle: Yes. Dance is in my heart.

DM: The Chens don’t really care whether they win or not. Beetle: I’m here to win or die.

Kara: Um... so - Advika: Yep. Yep! I only did this because Fawkes said he’d give me 500 credits if I did. But now I have to use it to buy everyone drinks, so I kind of regret this decision.

DM: Yeah, [Beetle is] dead drunk, and you see Annos put his head in his hands. Annos: Do we really have to go to this last bar. Rela: Yes, we have to go to this last bar. Let’s go! Annos: This is the worst. This is the worst!

Veron: Yeah, I’ll give you free drinks for that, that was really good. Beetle: Oh, yes, I’m gonna die. Annos: No, please don’t, she’s gonna die. Rela: Yeah, maybe don’t do that, sib. Veron: Okay, yeah, let’s not do that. Maybe for the rest of your people then. Beetle: Yeah, free drinks for, uh, Isolde. Isolde: Cheers. DM: Just her? Beetle, OOC: This is payback for the 500 credits I got from betting on her. DM: Amazing. Beetle, OOC: Pay it forward.

Leti Avonius

Annos, agitated: Isolde, why did you bring us here? Isolde: Phos paid me to. Phos: Annos? - I’ve got this. Annos: I don’t believe you, but by all means.

DM: What do you do? [long pause] Phos, OOC: This is, uh... Hahaha, uh, I didn’t actually expect her to be here. DM, with solemn, ominous promise: I always deliver. Phos: Can you play Beetle’s bit first so I can think of something, like, not kicking myself in the ass, like - DM: Okay. Alright, we’ll go with Beetle first. Beetle, what are you up to?

DM: Phos, you’re up. What do you do?

in discord Vasir: phos has to deal with THREE TURIANS Vasir: ARMED Vasir: CSEC... Phos: SHUSH Phos: I GOT THIS Vasir: DO YOU? Phos: SHADDAP, I GOT THIS Phos: Me, inside: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Vekar: Phos, what do you look for in life Vekar: Phos: "Dabooty" Vekar: "Hot"

Phos, OOC: She’s a little bit nervous because she didn’t expect Isolde to follow through on her promise so quickly. But this is kind of one of the few things she’s been looking forward to these few months since shit’s been going down, to find this turian she like kinda crushed hard on.

Leti: I have to arrest you, you know. I mean, you know that, right? Phos: Yeah. I - would say I would accept that, but sadly, I can’t. Leti: I figured. Phos: Even though it would be nice to spend some time, even if it’s in prison, together, it’s - (Beetle, laughing and OOC: You’re so thirsty you’d get yourself arrested by her. DM: [laughter] Beetle, OOC: “Yes, officer, lock me up!” DM: Kinky. Phos, OOC: No! Beetle, please.) Leti: I have to arrest for escaping custody, as well as - you were going to be released in the morning. You’re not supposed to come back here. Phos: Yeah. We weren’t really given a choice. We got involved with some deep shit after that, and we’er still not out of it. Leti: You think that means anything? Phos: No. Not in the eyes of an officer, I guess not. I can’t go. I’m sorry. Leti: So you’re resisting arrest. Phos: Is it resisting arrest if you never saw me here? DM: She kind of looks at you, like, ‘You better have something to follow that up with.’ Phos: Okay, look. All that shit back there? It was a lot of back luck. We’re not responsible for the elcor dying and we weren’t really that responsible for, well, escaping arrest. I know - it - we were blackmailed out of that prison. It’s weird to say that, but it’s really really weird to say you were blackmailed out of jail, but that’s basically what happened, and if you’re willing, I can give you my contact info and we can just see if something can be sorted out instead. Would you be willing to do that? DM: Roll persuasion.

DM: Leti looks at you for a bit, and she looks, um, a little sad. A little sad. And then she just shakes her head. Phos, OOC: Uh - DM: And then it’s like, ‘oh, shit! Oh, shit, this is bad.’ Phos: I also can’t get out of - I can’t go with you right now. First of all, your three people - and I know you’re armed, and you’re not totally up to the same standard as you were when I first met you, and there are a lot of people here with me. They wno’t let me go. DM: She looks around because she had seen the group you’d come in with. Leti: Look, I’m C-Sec. We have - we could call for backup, you’re not proving anything. DM: But as she says this, you actually see Annos come up beside you. He’s typing at his omni-tool. And as he comes close and stops next you, the turian looks at him, and she’s like - Leti: This does not involve you. Annos: No, it actually does. If you would check your records, you’ll see that these people are not, in fact, to be arrested. There are no charges against them. Leti: That is some bullshit. (Beetle, OOC: I never had any.) DM: But, you know, she looks back to the people behind her and nods, and one of them pulls up their omni-tool going to check something. Annos: No, no, I assure you. These are not the people you’re looking for. (Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. Vekar, OOC: Of course.) Leti: We’ll see about that. DM: And after some time, the other turian puts the omni-tool down and they kind of like look at the first turian, the chief. Turian: No, he’s right. There’s no record of these people anywhere. They’re just not there. Leti: That cannot be right. Turian: I know, I know! It can’t be right, but ther’s nothing there. We can’t arrest them. There’s nothing they can be arrested for. DM: And, um, yeah. She looks to you, to Annos, to the turian again, and wordlessly she gives you a nod. Phos: This is - how deep I’m stuck at the moment. I’m sorry. Leti: I don’t know why you’re apologizing for not being arrested, and frankly I don’t care. Phos: Because you were willing to try and give us a chance when the others were trying to blame us for their faults. I’m happy you - I kind of wish we’d had another chance to talk. (Beetle, OOC: To bang.) Leti, coldly: You’re free to go.

in discord Vekar: and she loooooooooooks at you Vekar: "You can go" Vekar hollers Vasir: i cant fucking believe annos is ob-wan-kenobing leti Phos: Annos: The ultimate wingman Vekar: the shadow broker mind trick Vekar: a chance to bang Vekar: TO BANG DM: TO BANG!!! Vekar: hey ask her name at least before you go

DM, laughing: I’m sorry, it’s just - it’s just funny because the only reason she gave you a chance is because you fucking seduced her. Phos, OOC, affronted: Yeah, but that’s still giving us a chance!

Beetle, OOC: Phos’s just like on the satelite. The dance satellite on the floor trying to get to her. Phos, OOC: We’re doing like a pair dance, so I guess she’s watching the both of us? DM: She’s definitely just watching you. Phos, OOC: Oh, nice. She’s checking out my ass. And my little cute tail! Vasir, OOC: [groans]

Phos, OOC: Before we go, I, like, I drag Beetle over with me to pass by Leti’s table, and as I’m wasted off my ass at this point, so I just ask - Phos: Can I at least get your name? Beetle: She wants to know your name! DM: She looks at you because you’re drunk, and Beetle’s also drunk, and you’re both just hanging off of each other, and she’s just like - Leti, enunciating every syllable as if Phos is a child: You didn’t look it up on the extranet? Beetle: You think she can use the extranet? Phos: I’m not very good with omni-tool. Leti: Okay. Turian: Leti, seriously? Leti: No, it’s fine. Leti Avonius. Phos: Leti Avonius. Beetle: Can she find your number on the extranet? Phos: I LOVE IT. Phos, OOC: And she drags Beetle off. DM: Beetle’s trying to be your wingwoman and you just leave? Beetle: Why are you trying to kneecap yourself? Phos: Because I’m fucking bad at this, Beetle, I’ve never tried it before! DM: You guys are just yelling this as you drag yourselves out, and Leti’s like, ‘What the fuck?’ Beetle, laughing: Yeah. Phos: I think I just took myself from a beginner’s flirt to a ‘kill yourself, this is never going to happen’ flirt. I am about to die. Do you follow me? Beetle: Okay. Phos: She is hot. But also Beetle? Beetle, I also just realized: she is so out of my league. It’s amazing. Beetle: She is pretty, uhh, up there.

in discord DM: beetle: it's probably a bad idea to date her but ya! she's pretty high up and pretty attractive DM: phos: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Phos: I - I got her name. beetle: She’s got that, you know, sexy authority figure thing going. Phos: I know. Beetle, that’s kind of what set it off in the first place, please. Beetle: [laughing] I’m sorry, I’m trying to roll with this.

Rela: This is my sibling, Veron. Veron: Hi. Rela: I always insist we come here so I can talk to them. But I don’t think we’ll be staying here long. The drinks are the best, though.

Vasir: How long have you been working here, Veron? How long has this bar been here? I guess I’m curious. Veron: I don’t know how long this bar has been here. I’ve been working here for three years now? DM: And they kind of look at Rela, and Rela nods, like, yeah, three years. Vasir: Long time for bartending. Veron: It’s not like I had much else to do. It pays the bills. Vasir: That’s good. [pause] DM: ... This is super awkward - Vasir, OOC: I’m sorry, I’m just super out of it - DM: No, I’m also just like, “how can i make this conversation go?” And I’m just - not very well. I’m looking at my notes, I got nothing else, because I didn’t get this far.

drinks (generated from here)

Caramel Killer Avocado Drop Apricot Puff Electric Stardust Oblivious Blood Nimble Tea Sticky Fluff Ancient Riddle Banana Vodka Lemon Blitz Southern Burst Paranoid Tonic Mild Enigma Nutmeg Light Beer Crimson Fluffy Rushed Kisses Glowing Mocha Cappuchino Paradise Tea Bliss Forest Shadow Angel Temper Avocado Freedom Flower Freedom Milk Minor Savage Dark Beer Cherry Blossom Shrub Lemonade Bomb Pear Pearl Oblivious Paradise Flower Mud Southern Burst Paranoid Tonic Mild Enigma Nutmeg Light Beer Crimson Fluffy Rushed Kisses Glowing Mocha Cappuchino Paradise Tea Bliss Forest Shadow Smooth Hopper Vibrant Dutchess Arctic Snake Sanguine Slingshot Mad Pop Fresh Pearl Flower Lager Crazy Kisses Fancy Joy Rose Petal Six Evil Plus Thyme Barrage Burning Sip Mint Crash Western Java Beetroot Stardust Peppermint Wave Noble Zombie Extreme Delight Gentle Blaze Oak Rumble Sugary Joke Infinite Gloom Oregano Crusher Unlucky Wink Ancient Sling Catnip Lager Rainbow Coffee Coconut Blaze Peacan Giant Paranoid Velvet Sake Puff Lavender Whisper Smooth Lion Mountain Sling Burning Brandy Stale Pearl Mild Rage Mild Slap Incredible Double Obvious Paralyzer Stale Breeze Apricot Four Lucky Petal Demonic Bomb Lemony Sizzle Mocha Lion Gingerroot Bruiser Fancy Touch Jasmine Wink

Drunkenness

Roll 1d8 for every drink ordered, adding each value together. If the player reaches 40, the player blacks out.

Surf’s Club

Beetle Flower Mud. 1d8 → 4 Apricot Puff. 1d8 → 6 total: 10

Phos Savage Dark Beer. 1d8 → 3 total: 3

Vekar Mild Enigma. 1d8 → 5 total: 5

Pumped Pub Kicks

Beetle Bay Leaf Blaze → 5 Evil Plus → 3 total: 18

Phos Sanguine Slingshot → 7 Rushed Starlight → 1 total: 11

Vasir Noble Zombie → 3 total: 3

Lounge Zero

Phos Incredible Double → 5 Ryncol → 7 Abyss → 7 total: 30

Beetle Paranoid Velvet → 5 Sheltered Cove → 8 total: 31

“Beetle just dies right there.”

Vasir Gravity Wave → 2 total: 5

Vekar Sinkhole → 1 total: 6

Walked Into

Beetle Mocha Lion → 3 total: 34

Phos Obvious Paralyzer → 5 total: 36

Vasir Lucky Petal → 2 total: 7

technical notes

The party checks to see who isn’t coming along with them. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vekar → 16 - 4 → 12 Phos → 5 + 1 → 6 Vasir → 5 + 0 → 5 Beetle → 3 + 1 → 4

The fact that neither Telissa nor Irène are with them escapes the party entirely.

Phos checks to see if Leti Avonius is in Surf’s Club. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 Phos looks around; Leti is not here.

The party bets on the arm-wrestling contest. 50 credits minimum.

Beetle → 100 on Tascha Phos → 1000 on Cat Vasir → 50 on Cat Vekar → abstains

Cat and Tascha arm-wrestle. Strength contest. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Cat → 13 + 2 → 15 Tascha → 6 + 4 → 10

Cat wins the contest. Phos and Vasir receive the credits they put in along with an additional 49 credits.

Cat notices that Beetle didn’t bet on her. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 8 + 1 → 9 Cat doesn’t notice Beetle didn’t bet on her and thanks Beetle for the support.

Annos, Aster, and Isolde notice Beetle standing with them with her tactical cloak. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Annos → 18 + 4 → 22 Aster → 8 + 2 → 10 Isolde → 2 + 2 → 4

Annos notices Beetle, but keeps quiet about it.

Beetle identifies Isolde’s combat class. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 16 + 1 → 17 Beetle identifies Isolde as an adept.

Beetle and Cat high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Beetle → 11 Cat → 3

“Like ships passing in the night,” Beetle says as Cat hits her shoulder and Beetle hits empty air.

“Wow, that was terrible,” Cat says. “I think I need another drink.”

“Oh, fuck yes.”

The party checks out Bar Cry. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Phos → 18 + 1 → 19 Vekar → 13 - 4 → 9 Vasir → 5 + 0 → 5 Beetle → 4 + 1 → 5

“My perception checks are good because I’m looking out for my bae!” Phos’s player tells me, triumphant.

“Yeah, okay,” I say. “She’s not here.”

Phos doesn’t eat shit as she charges down the stairs. Dexterity saving through. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 2 + 2 → 4 “Oh, dear, that’s not good,” Phos’s player says.

“Ugh, the property damage,” Vekar’s player says without missing a beat.

“What the fuck’s my dex mod?” Phos’s player asks.

Damage. 1d4 → 4 Phos eats shit and takes 4 points of damage to her health.

The party investigates Rule Number One. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier. “I’m gonna roll a 5 again,” Vasir’s player says as she rolls, and then she groans and yells, “I’m cursed! I’m cursed.”

“You think you’re cursed? Check this out,” Vekar’s player says.

Beetle → 18 + 1 → 19 Phos → 17 + 1 → 18 Vasir → 2 + 0 → 2 Vekar → 1 - 4 → -3

Vekar falls into the arena with Phos and Isolde. Phos and Beetle notice that most people are betting on Isolde.

Isolde, Phos, and Vekar roll initiative. 1d20.

Isolde → 11 Phos → 6 Vekar → 4

Isolde throws a Singularity in Phos and Vekar’s direction. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Phos and Vekar contest. Dexterity saving throw.

Vekar → 19 + 2 → 21 Phos → 18 + 2 → 20

Both successfully contest.

Phos and Vekar dodge the Singularity’s pull.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde shoots at Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 11 + 5 → 16 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d4 → 1 + 4 + 4 + 1 + 3 → 13 Vekar takes 13 points of damage. His shields blow out.

Movement. Isolde moves out of range of Phos’s shotgun.

Phos shoots at Isolde with her assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 This is not sufficient to hit. Isolde rolls out of the way.

(“This is what you get for trying to fight a cool NPC,” Beetle’s player says.)

Vekar uses Tech Armor. 1d20 → 14 Vekar activates his tech armor, granting him an additional 14 points of health. The armor will explode upon depletion, causing damage in a small radius around him.

Movement. Vekar expends all 10m of his movement to get closer to Isolde.

Isolde throws a Warp at Vekar. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Vekar contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 Vekar successfully contests.

Vekar dodges.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde throws a Warp at Vekar, again. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Vekar contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 2 → 20 Vekar successfully contests.

Vekar dodges.

Phos shoots Isolde with her shotgun. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 2 → 22 Crit.

Damage roll. 3d8 x 2 → (8 + 8 + 3) x 2 → 19 x 2 → 38 Isolde’s barrier takes 38 points of damage. It holds.

dm note: phos actually used up all of her movement here - and therefore her action - at this point, so she shouldn’t have been allowed to take the shot fucking hell @ me

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on Isolde. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 7.

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 19 + 5 → 24 Isolde successfully contests.

Isolde dodges easily.

Isolde shoots Vekar with her assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 12 + 5 → 17 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d6 → (6 + 2 + 4 + 6 + 4) → 22 Vekar takes 22 points of damage.

Vekar’s tech armor explodes. Isolde’s barrier takes 14 points of damage. It holds.

Isolde shoots Vekar with her assault rifle, again. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 5 → 23 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d6 → (5 + 6 + 1 + 3 + 2) → 17 "I’m dead,” Vekar’s player says.

“One down, one to go,” Beetle says.

Phos charges Isolde. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 8

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 4 + 5 → 9 Isolde fails to contest.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 7 + 3 → 10 + 5 Isolde’s barrier takes 10 points of damage, plus another 5 damage from hitting the wall. It holds.

Isolde melees Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 5 → 25 Crit.

Damage roll. (2d8) x 2 + 10 → (5 + 3) x 2 + 10 → 8 x 2 + 10 → 16 + 10 → 16 "I’m - pretty hurt. I have 2 HP remaining,” Phos’s player says, and then adds, “I’m fine.”

“Isolde sends a gentle breeze at Phos and Phos dies immediately,” Beetle’s player says.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde escapes Phos’s grip. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 + 5 → 15

Phos contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 + 4 → 14 Phos fails to contest.

Isolde shoves Phos off of her and pulls out her pistol. “Had enough?” she asks, grinning.

Phos melees Isolde. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 + 3 → (8 + 8 + 3) → 19 Isolde’s barrier takes 19 points of damage. It holds.

Phos picks Isolde up. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15 + 4 → 19

Isolde contests. Strength saving throw. 1d20 + strength modifier → 7 + 5 → 12 Isolde fails to contest.

Phos picks Isolde up, looping her arms under Isolde’s shoulders.

Isolde escapes Phos’s grip. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 5 + 5 → 10

Phos contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 16 + 4 → 20 Phos successfully contests.

"Oh, nice, more power hugging,” Beetle’s player says. “I love it.”

Isolde kicks Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14 + 5 → 19 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 → 6 Phos takes 6 points of damage and is unconscious.

Phos and Isolde high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Phos → 2 Isolde → 1

"You just slap each other in the face. Take 1d4 damage,” I say.

Beetle and Isolde high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Beetle → 18 Isolde → 1

“Oh, goddess, I am so sorry, holy shit,” Isolde says after she slaps Beetle’s face and causes her to take 1d4 → 4 damage.

Phos shoves her hand against Beetle's cheek in a weird pseudo-slap. 1d20 → 18 Phos does this.

Beetle bites Phos’s hand. 1d20 → 20 Beetle bites Phos’s hand hard enough to do 1d8 → 2 damage.

Phos gives Beetle a noogie. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 “Beetle just starts screaming,” Beetle’s player says.

Vekar dodges Phos’s good-natured pity pat. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 13 + 2 → 15 Vekar sidesteps the slap easily.

The party checks out Pumped Pub Kicks, and Phos looks for Leti Avonius. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vekar → 19 - 4 - 0 → 15 Phos → 14 + 1 - 1 → 14 Vasir → 12 + 0 - 0 → 12 Beetle → 3 + 1 - 1 → 3

Vekar and Phos note how shady the establishment is; Phos notices that Leti Avonius is not here.

Beetle gives Phos a noogie. Attack roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier → 16 - 2 → 14

Phos contests. Attack roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier → 1 Crit fail.

Beetle gives Phos a noogie easily despite - or perhaps because of - being trashed.

Beetle lies to Rela. Deception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 - 1 → 15

Rela contests. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 11 + 2 → 13

“Okay,” Rela says. “I’m going to trust you, alright? Just - know your limits. I don’t want to have to carry you out of here.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Beetle says, entirely unconvincingly.

Phos persuades Isolde to tell the party how old she is. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 - 1 → 17

Isolde contests. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 10 + 4 → 14 Isolde fails to contest.

Isolde reveals her age.

The party figures out why the Pumped Pub Kicks is so shady. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vasir → 15 + 0 - 0 → 15 Vekar → 18 - 4 - 0 → 14 Phos → 10 + 1 - 2 → 9 Beetle → 2 + 1 - 2 → 1

Phos and Vekar know the bar is shady as fuck, but they’re not really sure why. Vasir recognizes it as a place where they might meet a contact, drop off a package, and has in fact used places like this before in their career.

Phos dances. Dexterity modifier. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 + 2 - 1 → 19 “How do krogan even dance?”

“They do the worm,” Beetle’s player says. “The thresher maw.”

The party spots Tris, Elaye, and Kilo. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier. “What is this world we live in where Vekar gets the highest perception rolls?” Vasir’s player asks, laughing.

“Can we just not look at anything ever again?” Beetle’s player says.

Phos → 14 + 1 - 1 → 14 Vekar → 17 - 4 → 13 Vasir → 10 + 0 - 0 → 10 Beetle → 9 + 1 - 2 → 8

Phos spots Tris, Elaye and Kilo. It appears the three have been shopping.

Phos catches up with the party. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 4 + 0 - 1 → 3 Phos completely loses track of the party and crew.

Beetle calls Phos to give her directions. The player absolutely did not have to roll for this. 1d20 + technical modifier - drunkenness modifier → 13 + 2 - 2 → 13

Phos contests (???) Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier - drunkenness modifier → 11 - 2 - 1 → 8 Phos manages to pick up the call.

“We’re going to Lounge Zero,” Isolde shouts, grabbing onto Beetle’s arm. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find it.”

“Thanks, Isolde,” Phos says. “You’re a lot more helpful than some people I know.”

“You’re fuckin’ welcome.”

The party checks out Lounge Zero. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier. “I hurt on the inside,” Beetle’s player says.

Vasir → 18 + 0 - 0 → 18 Phos → 13 + 1 - 1 → 13 Vekar → 16 - 4 → 12 Beetle → 6 + 1 - 2 → 5

“This is a place you wouldn’t be caught dead in, Vasir. You’re intensely uncomfortable by how rich everything about this place is. Phos - you look in the corner, and there she is.”

Beetle identifies the weak link. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 + 1 - 2 → 17 Beetle spies three young asari at the counter of the bar. They may not be the richest people here, but she’s had enough time hustling people that she’s fairly certain she can trick them.

Beetle persuades the asari to listen to her. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 1 - 2 → 15 “I pray,” Beetle’s player says.

The asari contest. Knowledge saving throw. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Asari 1 → 14 + 0 → 14 Asari 2 → 8 + 0 → 8 Asari 3 → 4 + 0 → 4

All three asari fail to contest.

The asari are willing to give Beetle the benefit of the doubt.

The asari contemplate the name of Beetle’s business. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Asari 1 → 20 + 0 → 20 Asari 3 → 15 + 0 → 15 Asari 2 → 5 + 0 → 5

“Bullshit,” the first asari says. “This can’t be legit. I know a lot of what you’re talking about - champagne, liquor, spirits - and I’ve never heard of your company before. If you serve this kind of bar, I surely would have heard of you. Who are you, exactly?”

Beetle tricks the asari into investing in her ‘company’. Deception check. 1d20 + knowledge modifier + Con bonus - drunkenness modifier → 20 + 1 + 1 - 2 → 20 “They’ll believe anything I tell them now.”

Phos persuades Leti not to arrest the party. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 1 - 1 → 16

Leti contests. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 12 + 2 → 14

“Okay, here’s the thing: you rolled higher than her, but your argument is really - not good. So I’m gonna do a compromise here.”

Phos whacks Isolde on the back of the head. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 2 - 1 → 17

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 5 → 23 Isolde sucessfully contests.

“You try to smack her. She just ducks underneath, shoots you some finger guns, and then heads on over to the bar.“

Phos and Beetle high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier.

Phos → 7 - 2 → 5 Beetle → 5 - 2 → 3

"You go through these really exaggerated motion, and then you just fucking swing, and you just keep swinging, and you just hit empty air and you just keep going.”

“Every time they miss, Beetle says, ‘nice dodge,’“ Beetle’s player says.

Beetle tries to convince Kara to take the dance-off elsewhere; Phos tries to convince her to do it in Lounge Zero. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Phos → 12 - 2 → 10 Beetle → 11 - 2 → 9

Phos wins out, barely.

Dance-off. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Kara → automatic crit Phos → 18 + 2 - 2 → 18 Beetle → 18 + 2 - 2 → 18 Fausius → 14 + 1 → 15 Cat → 10 + 2 - 2 �� 10 Bea → 9 + 0 - 2 → 7 Ann → 7 + 0 - 2 → 5 Advika → 4 + 0 - 0 → 4

Advika loses the dance-off and buys the next round.

Leti is impressed by Phos’s dancing. Persuasion roll on Phos’s part. 1d20 + knowledge modifier →17 + 0 → 17 “The body speaks,” Beetle says.

“She’s looking at you,” I say. “That’s about it.”

The party avoids the pole at Walked Into. Dexterty saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier. "Beetle just dies,” Beetle’s player says.

Beetle: beetle dex save: 4 - 4 +1 = 1 Phos: Dex save: 6 + 2 - 4 = 4 Vekar: vekar dex save roll 19 + 2 = 21 Vekar: "Guys im starting to think we're gonna have to cut you all off and give you some coffee" Phos: Phos: "what is coffee and why the fuck would I need some of it" Vasir: vasir rolled a 1

Beetle, Phos, and Vasir walk into the pole.

The party checks out Walked Into. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vasir → 15 + 0 - 0 → 15 Beetle → 18 + 1 - 4 → 15 Vekar → 14 - 4 - 0 → 10 Phos → 8 + 1 - 4 → 5

"What the fuck? Why do they keep bringing us to different bars when they’re all the same?” Beetle’s player says, after I had described to Vasir how the bar was quieter, cozier, and full of locals.

Beetle poledances (and destroys the pole). Dexterity check → crit Strength check → -2

Beetle pulls off a fabulous pole dance and fails utterly to destroy the pole.

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#session 9 #operation #operation: drop it like it's hot #the dm #summary

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