#be trying not to add these emojis while actively plotting

[allpossibilities]

me writing something sincere and sweet that jayce says or does: 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

[phantex1708]

Diety4Diety Roleplay [M4M, Discord, LONGTERM, Semi-lit to Advanced-lit, We Will Change the Plot as Need-Be to Better Suit You and Your Character!]

Heyo, I’m looking for someone interested in writing a high-fantasy story! I'm looking for romance and eventually a cute little family dynamic for our characters. As said in the title, I'm searching for a long-term writing partner, so if you want something different, please ignore this post. I want a roleplay that I can make part of both of our character’s original (or canon, if you will) stories. Not just me, either; I’d like for both of us to want similar things like that! It can be hard to find a roleplay partner who you really click with, and I have found that when we chat OOC alright, we look forward to the writing itself more! No, I'm not looking for anything romantic with my RP partners. I didn't know that this was something I had to clarify, but apparently it is. With that said, I don't typically write well with those who are dry texters OOC. I’m not trying to be harsh or rude by any means, but as someone who already has a difficult time reading tone over text, dry messages don't make it any easier. Besides, it’s nice knowing when someone is equally as excited as myself about writing a story! Along with that, please be up for actively planning out the plot with me! There’s nothing worse than the plotting being one-sided. Now, I'm not too nitpicky about this; as long as the effort is there, that’s all that matters. Putting zero effort into developing the story, versus genuinely coming to a blank, are very different! I can be indecisive on certain things as well, and I don't expect you to be perfect. Everybody has their flaws, myself absolutely included. I want to add that sometimes I chat differently! Honestly, it depends on how you text me. Generally, I’ll occasionally use emojis, but I stick with emoticons and tone tags! The tone tags are probably the ones I use the most; I’ve got anxiety and sometimes worry about coming off the wrong way in a text, so I just like to be clear!

For my rules and big “no”s, it’s honestly just pretty basic things that shouldn't need to be said. However, I don't want my post to get taken down, so I’ll just clearly list those things in DMs. It’s insane how I’ve learned that I do, in fact, need to clarify these types of things. I’ve been role-playing for a good while now, and had to figure out all of that the hard way. Another “no” from me is characters who are built solely for sexual roles. I don't want to write with a character who’s whole personality is about being a bottom, or even a top. There’s a big difference between an angsty character, and a whiny character. So yeah, no whiny, helpless, infantilized characters, and no characters who are “alpha-males.” One more thing is people who are overly strict about their OCs being hurt. I understand it’s common courtesy not to give somebody else’s character major injuries without warning; I always ask before I do something like that. But please keep in mind that you can expect fighting and death scenes in this story! When I write, I go over the discord text limit and usually send two to four messages, depending on how much you give me to work with, and how action-dependent the current scene is. My biggest pet peeve is bad grammar and punctuation in the roleplay. Mistakes are fine, of course, but constant run-on sentences or poor grammar make it hard to enjoy the story. As for character face claims, AI “art,” stolen art, and real people are massive “no”s from me. First of all, I hate AI and anybody who supports it; as an artist, it’s annoying seeing people call themselves “artists” for putting a prompt into a generator that steals from actual artists. Stolen art is another obvious “no,” and it should go without saying. Real people as face claims weirds me out, and it also feels lazy; taking a photo of a random person from Pinterest and calling it an original character design is odd and lazy. What I’m fine with for face claims is artwork or commissions. Hell, even picrews as a substitute are fine until you’re able to get real art! As long as the genuine effort is there, I'm good with it. I understand it likely sounds pompous for me to expect artwork for your character, but I promise you I’m not looking for skill, just effort. On the topic of art, if I'm enjoying the roleplay and have good motivation, I’ll probably make doodles (and memes, of course) of our characters as well! Just a side note: yes, I am looking for eventual N/SFW scenes as well! As long as the timing is appropriate, and it’s not an excessive amount or too often, it’s totally fine.

About my character; My guy is an elven fertility god named Ruven. He’s caring and kind at heart, but also emotionally guarded and distant from others. Really, he’s a bit shy and gets flustered easily, as stoic as he is. Ruven is a big ol’ hefty man, standing at about 6’2” and weighing 220 lbs. He’s albino and has curly hair down past his waist, as well as many cultural tattoos from a fantasy face of mine. I will say right now, he’s Desi, about thirty billion years old, has many adult kids (sounds like a lot until you think about how old he is. Don’t worry, he hates all of his past partners now.), as well as two young children, and is a transman. I’ve had people who ended up being hateful because I didn't clarify that sooner, so I'm saying it now. He also has a rough past, which could have possibly triggering themes (SA, DV, abuse, forced marriage, child death, and derealization). Along with that, I have a fantasy homebrew world that we could use as a setting! My guy is native to a country called Sahknu, where beauty standards define one’s status and wealth. Seeing as Ruven is so pale, he’s considered very ugly for people in that kingdom which has led to him struggling a bit for money. Why is a god, the keeper of the universe’s moons, financially ruined? We’ll get to that soon!

Now for the plot! This is just a general idea, and we can make changes to fit your preferences and character. There will be romance, action, drama, and angst! For this, I’m kind of going with the idea that your character is maybe a fellow god in disguise, or possibly doesn't even know that they're a god. Amnesia tropes are always fun here! Whatever describes your character best! Seriously, I’m not going to be upset about you wanting something different! We can make changes to accommodate to your guy. Anyhow—Ruven and your character have known each other for a while now, and even though he’s been dreadfully slow to open up, he’s been a nice man. So far, he’s managed to skillfully avoid any questions wanting him to disclose personal information about himself. The best that YC has gotten is a little ramble about his two young sons, and a comment saying that ‘I’m a lot older than you think.’ The two boys themselves are named Alastair and Lavan. Alastair seems to be about six years old and is clearly adopted, seeing as he shares no resemblance to his father. Lavan, however, is only a baby and shares his dad’s trait of albinism! The older boy is enthusiastic and outgoing, often happily bringing YC many self-made drawings, while the younger is the type to start wailing if Ruven isn't holding him. To cut to the chase, Ruven is only blending in amongst the mortals because he is on the run from his ex-husband, god of the sun and fire. This man, Silas, is a cruel and sadistic person out for blood. He’s arrogant and has zero empathy for the people around him, nor for anyone who may stand in his way on his path to revenge. He will absolutely try to kill YC out of blind rage as soon as he hears about their feelings for his ex, so you can expect a fun fight scene there! See, Ruven divorced him rather harshly, and he wants nothing more than to get back at him. By “harshly,” I mean that he tried to kill him. Silas isn’t exactly the type of person to handle that kind of news well, so he needed to take drastic measures to avoid being put into danger. The sun god is not someone who’s above imprisoning and torturing the ones he “loves,” so Ruven simply didn't want to go through those things again, seeing as he’s done such in the past. He used to be a kind, gold-hearted man until he was overcome by jealousy and greed. Ultimately, that’s what led to his downfall, and Ruven’s ever-growing hatred for him. Silas is quite literally hunting this man down. At some point, he’s going to come storming into whatever place Ruven and YC are in, raising hell, and making a scene. He’ll hurt and kill people, and it’ll lead to some big fight between the three characters. This part is a little more flexible—maybe Ruven is the one who is hurt and needs to be helped to safety, or maybe YC is the one! That comes down to your personal preference because I frankly cannot decide. Either way, they narrowly escape from Silas. Now that he’s angry and hunting down both Ruven and YC, they’ve decided to simply travel together while finding elsewhere to hide. Along the way, both characters can open up to one another and be there for support. Sooner or later, they begin an official relationship, maybe even consider marriage and building more family between the two of them. Just keep in mind that they’re going to be traveling for a good while, and I mean a while. I'm not trying to rush this whole family and marriage trope, just summarizing it in a way that sounds rushed, haha. Just as things are finally getting nice, they run into Silas again, and he’s even more angry than before. He’s jealous of their happiness and is intent on finishing the fight this time. Luckily for our two protagonists, they win! They kill him, one way or another, and then live their happy lives. After that, we can continue adding on things to continue the story! I'm always open for ideas!

Please let me know if you’re interested, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

[bbugyu]

if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.

plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending

16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r

welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3

when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.

"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.

you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"

he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"

"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"

"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"

you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"

he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."

you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."

"okay, next weekend?"

you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."

he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"

you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"

he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."

"how long is the train?"

"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."

you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."

he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"

you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."

a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"

your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."

"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"

you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."

"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."

you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"

he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."

"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"

he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"

you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"

he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"

you: i think i'm finally packed

joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.

you: 😡

joshie: 😘

as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.

he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.

equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.

"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.

the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.

"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.

you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."

"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."

you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"

his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."

"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."

"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"

you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.

he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.

as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.

"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."

joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."

you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."

he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"

you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."

his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."

you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.

you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.

joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.

then, he took you to another restaurant.

you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.

if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.

"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."

joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."

you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.

that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.

being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.

you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.

"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."

he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"

"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."

he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.

"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."

joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"

"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."

he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"

"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.

his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"

you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."

"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.

you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.

"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.

you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."

an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.

so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.

his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.

you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.

"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."

"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.

joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.

"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.

"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"

in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.

there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."

joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.

when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.

your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.

"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"

joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"

"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"

"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"

the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"

he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"

he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."

"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."

"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."

joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.

and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.

"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"

joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"

"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."

he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."

"i'm not a virgin, joshua."

"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"

you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."

his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"

"like, really long," you reiterated.

"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."

you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."

"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"

your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."

"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."

you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."

"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."

"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."

"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."

karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.

joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.

you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.

joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.

you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"

it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.

you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?

"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"

his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"

that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."

he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."

he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.

"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."

joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"

"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."

weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.

people were speculating.

you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.

the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.

"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"

"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."

you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."

when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.

"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"

joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."

you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."

"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."

you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.

"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."

you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"

"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"

your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.

"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."

you let out a short laugh. "right."

he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."

your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"

"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."

your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"

"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."

you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."

"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."

you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."

you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.

joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰

you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!

the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.

"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."

yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"

he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.

"and if i have a boyfriend."

he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.

"and you're telling the truth?"

you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."

yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."

you looked at him. "what do you mean?"

"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."

you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."

he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."

yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.

you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.

when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.

it took you too long to finish it.

when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.

"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.

he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."

"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"

"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."

so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.

"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"

"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."

you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"

"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."

you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"

you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."

so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.

you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.

besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.

it was august when he broke your heart.

"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"

"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."

"well, we're fixing that."

he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"

"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."

he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."

"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."

joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."

you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."

and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.

you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.

"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.

you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.

joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.

you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"

"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"

you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.

it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.

"babe?"

you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"

you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"

"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"

he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."

"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."

"waves? because it's a water level?"

you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."

he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."

"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"

he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"

you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"

he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"

"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"

"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"

you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"

he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.

"did you go to a salon?"

he grinned. "krys did it."

you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."

he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."

and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."

his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."

you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."

"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."

you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"

"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."

you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."

"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.

"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"

"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."

you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."

"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."

"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"

he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"

you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."

"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."

you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"

he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."

you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."

"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."

he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."

your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"

"of course, from nori table."

joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.

"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"

"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"

seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"

you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"

"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."

"aye, josh!"

you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.

"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.

soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.

"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"

"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.

jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.

"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."

he squinted at you. "you sure?"

"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"

he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"

you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"

his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"

"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.

he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."

your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."

he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."

"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."

"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."

"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."

the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.

jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."

you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."

"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."

you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.

"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.

you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."

jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."

joshua laughed. "karol's our age."

his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."

"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"

"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."

joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"

you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"

"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"

"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."

he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."

"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."

he gave you a look. "she has done worse."

"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."

his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"

"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."

joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."

"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."

drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.

the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.

ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.

"this feels backhanded," you told him.

"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."

you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."

"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."

"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."

josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."

"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.

"grilled cheese?"

"is that even a question?"

it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.

halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.

you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.

well, not you.

"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.

joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"

jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."

he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."

"there you are!"

jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"

seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"

you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.

"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."

soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.

when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.

you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?

"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."

you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."

"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"

you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"

the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.

"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.

"cut what out?"

you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."

he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"

your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."

and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.

his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.

you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.

"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.

he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."

you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."

he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."

you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.

the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.

"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.

"it's almost two," you said finally.

he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."

you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."

"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.

"baby, i have a headache."

his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."

you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."

he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."

"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"

he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."

you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.

he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.

you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.

you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."

he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.

you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."

he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"

you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."

"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"

you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."

"nothin'?" joshua fished.

"zilch," you concluded.

"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"

you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."

he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.

"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.

"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."

he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."

your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"

unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"

your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.

"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."

you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.

"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"

you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."

but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.

"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.

"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"

you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."

"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."

you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."

"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."

it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.

flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.

months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.

"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."

you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.

"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"

you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.

you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."

krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.

but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.

when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.

you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.

but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.

but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.

his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.

krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.

"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."

you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."

"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"

krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."

you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"

karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."

a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."

"you love him so bad."

"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."

"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."

joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.

you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.

"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"

you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"

"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."

he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."

"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"

"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."

"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."

"you do now."

you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"

"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.

you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.

after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.

"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"

"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.

karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"

"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."

you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."

he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."

"they absolutely could," karol said.

"for sure," krys agreed.

"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.

joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.

"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."

"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"

"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.

seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."

you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."

"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."

"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"

"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"

there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"

"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."

it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.

joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"

you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."

"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."

your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"

"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"

"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."

he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."

you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."

"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.

he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.

"ready?" joshua asked.

"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"

"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"

you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.

"ready?" he repeated.

"yeah, i guess," you sighed.

the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.

"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"

he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."

seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"

she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."

you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"

he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."

"without me?" you asked, incredulous.

he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."

your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.

"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"

"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."

you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.

"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"

seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.

[parcoeurs]

Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

[lumilasi]

I saw this in my feed and since I was pretty bored and FINALLY free from the said boredom, figured I could do this one. I generally enjoy question based tags, especially if they relate to art/writing/fandom/are some general things about favorite colors, music, foods, things about your home country etc.

(basically, you can tag me in stuff similar to listed above things and I’ll probably do them if I see them/have time lmao)

Fic Writer Questions!

How many works do you have on AO3? 

44 total. I used to have more but I’ve deleted an old Bleach one I knew I’d never continue to write, and two bnha ones for the same reason (those two were also at the very beginning stages so nobody missed a lot anyway)

What's your total AO3 wordcount? 

4 269 068......wow. It’s even MORE than I even imagined. Over 4 million words. 

....Someone take my writing tools away from me lmao

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

 Three. I started with MCU, moved on to Bleach and now I’ve done most ofr BNHA

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Crossroads - 3069 

Family Secrets - 3015 

Reanimate - 1534 

The neighbor - 809 

Espada and Fraccion - 782

.....Admittedly this list surprised me. Not the first three but the last two. The fifth is an one shot for Bleach that I wrote AGES ago. I also for some reason expected this list to match the bookmark list more lmao

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always try to respond to every comment I get, but often times when it’s just one word or a heart emoji I don’t really know what to say, so I might not reply to those. I do appreciate every comment I get, and read every single one, even if I don’t respond

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? 

I don’t do angst endings typically, but Family Secrets is probs the most obvious choice, given what happens at the end. 

- and its not even the real end, because I couldn’t help myself and made two more stories for the AU that was like “hey! this character I made you all love so much actually DIDN’T die, he just had unfinished business back home” lmao

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've ever written? 

Rarely, typically they’re between my own fics (the story that crosses the paths of Crossroads and Family Secrets AU’s, literally titled Crossover, creative name I know OTL I was out of ideas) 

Or between me and other people’s fics. Currently there’s two, both with Crossroads: one with Theteapotofdoom’s fic Something Good, and another with leontheneon’s fic Here with you. Both stories are basically a two part series that is non canon to actual Crossroads. The first story is finished, second one has two chapters left...that...I uh...struggle to write it seems OTL

(not tagging either person into this because Tea is very busy IRL right now so I don’t want to bother her, and Leon hasn’t been around in ages, IDK if they even use tumblr anymore)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Not really no? I can only remember one time with somebody kind of demanding me to completely rewrite one fic in the past. It wasn’t really hate, more just...kinda unreasonable in my eyes? This was years ago by now.

While I did understand their side and the particular struggle they had (once they actually explained it, the first comment at the time came off pretty rude and demanding), I still feel them wanting me to re-write an entire multi-chapter fic just for them is a bit unreasonable, like said.

Like it wasn’t just couple of grammatical errors that was their issue, we’re talking weeks and even months long process of completely reworking multi-chapter story, because the grammar wasn’t tip top perfect. (I’m not a native speaker so there’s bound to be some mistakes; pointing out small occasional things is one thing - asking me to rewrite an entire multi-chapter story is another)

You can imagine that is not exactly high on my priorities list with IRL responsibilities and being more focused on the actual content of what I write, the ongoing stories I’m updating. This fic isn’t even finished yet either, so...yeah. Like after they explained their side of the story I was a bit more understanding, but its still....a bit ridiculous and unreasonable in my eyes to ask somebody to do such a massive overhaul when the story isn’t even finished yet?? Like maybe once its done and I have time I can go and edit it, but not when I haven’t even finished it lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nah. I don’t care about smut a whole lot personally. I much more enjoy writing emotional scenes, character interactions and mystery. Plot over porn basically lmao 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I don’t...do people actually do this? It feels like such a weird and pointless thing to do. It’s fanfic. stuff you write for fun and for free, for people to read for free. I’d also imagine its pretty easy to get caught given AO3 shows when you first posted your story. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

 Yes, a couple of times. In Russian and I think other one was Chinese?

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Writing the crossovers was kinda that? Like I asked feedback from Tea and Leon on how to write them. there was also actually third crossover story that was supposed to happen (only I wasn’t going to be the one to write it) but this project has been shelved as the other person had to drop majority of online activity due to some IRL health related things. (I’m just glad they recently contacted me to inform they were doing better)

What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Right now it’s..probably pretty obvious its Shigadabi, but I can never really say any ship is my all time fave, as it always changes depending on the fandom lmao. 

I guess my favorite character x proper sleep/emotional stability/happiness will always be the OTP

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oof. I always try to finish every single one, and if I absolutely know I won’t, I tend to just delete them. Thankfully I’ve only done it thrice. Which I guess is still a lot, but compared to how much I write, in context not really? 

What are your writing strengths?

From what I’ve gathered of feedback, its typically emotional moments/character dialogue and interaction/character arcs and so. Mystery plots too. Or maybe that last one is just me lmao

What are your writing weakness?

Personally, while I tend to get positive feedback on both, sometimes I feel like I struggle to choose a good pacing for a fic, and fight scenes are always a pain. Namely, I might struggle with making the pace too long-winded and slow sometimes. Ironically, my IRL update pacing is probs a bit too fast in turn. (To add another layer of irony, I got an update ready for Unravel that I’ll post after making this tag)

Also writing shorter stories. I’ve been trying to write one-shots more (like the Spinaraki series thing) to kinda try and get myself to pack up my stories better and not let them always spiral out of control haha

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did try to do that once with a fic I deleted, I had a native speaker help me with the canadian french bits. This person is no longer active on tumblr, and I deleted that fic because I realized I’d never finish it. 

Technically tho, as a non-native English speaker, EVERY word is in other language to me lmao. I could only add Finnish as an extra one easily, and it rarely makes sense to do so anyway.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? 

MCU. It’s what I originally made my AO3 for, as I felt brave enough to post things. I also can’t remember writing fandom related stuff before that, it was typically more oc related. Writing fics has helped me learn a lot about world-building, character consistency and all that stuff, without having to make everything from scratch (tho I do enjoy doing that as well of course). I feel like my original work writing has improved too thanks to my fic writing shenanigans in a way lmao. Tho that might just be me, IDK

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? 

Oooof. This changes a lot depending on the time. I can never really pick just one either: my current favorites are Stringmaster, The neighbor and Family Secrets

Stringmaster because I love building the Steampunk AU, and Tomura’s relationship with Dabi and his Sensei, The neighbor because I personally think the romance build up in that one is probably one of the best I’ve done so far (the character dialogue in that is among my favorites I’ve written as well) and FS, because it taught me a lot about character building through writing a character like Hisashi.

 Plus I just really like Hisashi. 

And baby Izuku and little Tenko are super adorable. 

And Inko is the best mum.

 Also the fact the whole story is so ironic in a sense its still kinda funny to me. 

The only writer I know that might be around rn is @nightlilly0110 soo...I guess I’ll tag them if they want to do this! Anybody who’s a writer can snatch this too of course ;)

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[kiara-carrera]

Headcanon dating meme Sweetbrooke

this is under the cut because it’s long lmao! thank you for asking!!!!

where they first met and how: they technically met at the drive in, when brooke was in line to get snacks. but they don’t officially meet until a few months later when the serpents show up to kick archie’s ass.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: so their flirting phase was tightly entwined to their hooking up phase, which lasted a few (?) months before feelings really started bubbling to the surface.

who fell for who first (if applicable): this is a bit even, but probably brooke a tiny bit more.

where their first date was and what it was like: they went to go see a movie and then got milkshakes at pops. it was super sweet, but a little awkward at first because i maintain that sweet pea never had a legit relationship before her but they were able to get comfy quick because it’s like,,,you two have been hooking up for months, chill.

who asks who out and how (with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’?): it’s a very simple variation of asking will you go out with me. they both sort of broach the topic together and it’s more of a mutual asking.

who proposes first: if marriage ever does get brought up, probably sweet pea.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: when they’re hooking up, it’s definitely on the down low (like i think at first only fangs really knows) because it’s during season 2 when tensions after the school merger is still high, so they’re not trying to deal with drama. once they’re actually dating, they don’t really care and it’s just sorta common knowledge that they’re together.

where the proposal happens and how (kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park?): no ideas for this one, but it’d probably be something super simple.

if they adopt any pets together: nope!

who’s more dominant: sweet pea

where their first kiss was and what it was like: it was in her room when they were supposed to be working on an assignment they got partnered up for and it’s very out of the blue and a lil aggressive tbh.

if they have any matching couples stuff (mugs? sweaters? pillowcases?): no, they both think that sort of thing is kinda tacky.

how into pda they are: brooke loves pda like she honestly can’t help it she loves it all. sweet pea is a bit less intense than she is with that aspect, so with him it’s usually like an arm tossed over her shoulder.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: sweet pea but honestly it’s because he’s taller.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is (if applicable): either pop’s or lovers lane.

who’s more protective: both, but sweet pea is just a tiny bit more.

how long it is before they sleep together (can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’): honestly not long at all for either, probably early season 3 whoops.

if they argue about anything: they don’t argue super often, but when they do, it’s usually related to serpent type stuff.

who leaves more marks (lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc.): they’re both liable to leave an odd hickey every once in a while.

who steals whose clothes and how often: once they get comfortable in their relationship, brooke is constantly stealing his shirts to wear to bed.

how they cuddle (spooning? facing each other?): usually spooning, but on occasion they’ll face each other.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: going for drives on his bike.

how long they stay mad at each other: they’re both a little hotheaded and neither like to yield or admit they’re wrong at first, so they definitely need time apart after an argument and i think the record is like ... almost a week? maybe a tad less?

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: brooke will only drink coffee if there’s a shit ton of cream and sugar in it. sweet pea probably doesn’t do any kind of creamer or milk, but he definitely adds a fair amount of sugar.

if they ever have any children together: they might eventually have kids, but it’d probably be like two at most.

if they have any special pet names for each other: he calls her princess which technically he started doing to piss her off, but once they’re dating it’s just a soft little thing he does. she tends to mostly call him sweets or baby.

if they ever split up and / or get back together: so they split up after graduation, somewhere during the summer before she heads off to college. they will be getting back together at some point during this time jump, but it all really depends on what kind of bullshit plot i’m given to work with.

what their shared living space is like (messy? clean? what kind of decor?): she spends a good portion of season 3 in his trailer and it’s not super messy or anything but you can tell there’s two unsupervised teenagers living there.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: they spend it with fangs' family because his mother insists that they can’t be alone on christmas.

what their names are in each other’s phones: she has him down as sweets with a couple of heart eye emojis. he’ll tell people she’s just brooke in his phone (which was an upgrade from being ‘holliday’ when they first exchanged numbers), but she’s definitely listed as princess because he’s a secret sap.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ (buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening?): nope!

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: brooke falls asleep first and he usually wakes up first because she is not a morning person whatsoever.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: brooke is usually little spoon because sweet pea claims he’s too manly to be little spoon, but there are numerous occasions where he is.

who hogs the bathroom: brooke

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: brooke doesn’t do spiders at all, she leaves that to him

[radishcard55]

Best Love Tarot Card Cards Analysis Online Free & Accurate

Both a free tarot card analysis and also a psychic reading can provide something distinct and also important. If you're not thrilled with the idea of a in person conversation and also you don't like the task of trying to kind rapidly in an on the internet chat session, the good old telephone is a excellent standby. The tone can be casual or intimate, depending on the psychic you choose after reading their bio. Lots of believe that tarot card reviewing originated from old Egypt. For beginner readers, Howe recommends two standard spreads, a three-card pull as well as the Celtic Cross. The former is where 3 cards are drawn from the deck to stand for the past, present, and future or mind, body, and also spirit of the person reading. Howe says you can even up the ante to a six-card pull, with one card standing for each location. 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[ragingwave]

✨2k20 Wishlist ✨

A new year, new thoughts, and a big list of more ideas i’d like for Nessa or would be super eager to explore in the year to come! It’s a weird mix of a wishlist / things I want to do on this blog more. 😅

More interactions with the Protags! — Hop, Victor, Gloria, Marnie, that whole circle. They’re so much fun!

MORE OCs!!!! You can never love OCs enough and i’m definitely dying to interact / plot / and meet more! 

🙏😩🙏 galar league fam,,, please interact 🙏😩🙏 I just love the dynamics of Galar’s gym leaders and I want to connect with more....I’M DESPERATE. PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU

More interactions from characters from other games / regions! this is my own fault for not having more because not only am I still weary on the spoiler front but also usually I have to do an extensive refresher on old gen characters because it’s been awhile. But I would love for Nessa to bond with more people outside of Galar!

CROSSOVERS I’m trying to be better about them! I want to meet more muses that isn’t associated with Pokemon! I

speaking of crossovers, USING MY VERSES MORE OFTEN BECAUSE I FORGOT THEM ONCE AND I DONT WANT TO AGAIN. And then here’s to adding more! 

Ships! — I’m never actively searching for them but frankly I add this on here saying that  if I see or feel there might be some chemistry somewhere, i’m more than likely gonna be up front about it than before. i’m tired of living in the ‘we’re all too scared to say we wanna ship’ bubble  SO while it IS kinda scary, at the same time it’s better to ask and know than to never ask at all?

More plotted threads! I’ve been winging it really with spur of the moment threads but it still stands that I really work best with plotted threads. So I hope to reach out more to build up ideas with others and vice versa happens! My DMs aren’t scary unless you have a fear of sudden excessive caps lock and tons of emojis.

And I THINK this is the majority on my list for now! I feel like I had more...but this post is already getting long, so i’ll scrap anything I remember for another post.  😅  

[sweetpxsin]

Stray Kids During Valentines

Member: Strays Kids

Plot: Stray kids during Valentines

Genre: explosion of uwu = Floof

Note: Literally no one fucking asked for this but your welcome and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LOVE Also wazzup my single bisses!!!

[ Masterlist ]

[ C H A N ]

•if y'all thought Chan ain’t doing the most you’re absolutely wrong

•he has been waiting for this special moment for a whole ass month

•taking mental notes of things you really like/want and items that are popular on valentines

•but just to deceive you he’ll just send a “Happy Valentine’s Day, Love” with your guys special heart emoji

•and as soon as you walk out of your apartment to run some errands Chan would let himself in and set to work

•being the sentimental little shit he is, as soon as you walked into your apartment he’d have your guys song playing with rose petals leading to him and the romantic dinner he had ready for you

•and it doesn’t even end there sis

•after a cute little dinner and maybe some slow dancing Chan would lead you to your bedroom where his biggest gift was

•on your bed would be your favorite flowers along with a couple of gifts accompanied by a huge teddy bear

•and to tie it all off he’d give you his goofy little grin before hugging you close

•ending the night with the both cuddled nicely together just enjoying each other presence

[ W O O J I N ]

•so you know how his nickname is bear?

•expect an abnormally large bear sitting on your living room couch

•and expect it to attack you in a hug...well attempt to...

•it’s kinda hard to hug someone when there’s a huge stuffed bear between you

•though after he’d gotten rid of the bear he’d hug you real right in his arms before telling you to get ready

•he’d already have a big day planned out for the both you in advance

•and when you came out all dressed and cute Woojin would have no problem with showering you in compliments and maybe  some kisses before taking you out on his adventure filled day

•he’d take you out for lunch at your favorite café and then take you to the new  amusement park you had been raving about

•and there he’d probably let you take as many of those corny couple pictures as you’d like

•because today was all about you and Woojin wanted to make sure that today was like no other

•after the amusement park he’d take you to that fancy restaurants he’s been meaning to take you to and have a romantic dinner with you

•which would probably consist of some flirty and reminiscing on when on you guys first started dating

•and end the night with you cuddled nicely in his arms

[ M I N H O ]

•he about to hoe this one out- I’m kidding...but am I?

•no but forreal he’s been planning this one out for a while

•except he wouldn’t let you know and simply act like he planned out a pretty simple date with you

•like he’d arrive at your apartment with a typical bouquet of your favorite flowers along with a  large teddy bear you had been raving about for months and your favorite movie in hand

•but half way through the movie he’d suddenly get up insisting you stay in bed while he goes tend something

•and while you continued to watch the movie he’d begin to set up for the romantic dinner just for the two of you

•He’d cook your favorite dish and have the dining room table nicely decorated with candles and flower petals neatly scattered on the table for some accents just like he had seen in the movies

•And when you finally came out to check on him the soft sound of a piano would hit you and lead you to your kitchen where your man stood a wide grin on his lips

•”Happy Valentine’s Babe.”

[ C H A N G B I N  ]

•Not wanting to be predictable Changbin would opt for a more toned down Valentines that he knew you’d still enjoy

•Changbin would get up super duper early and sneak into your apartment and make you breakfast that you could eat in bed, because his baby needs to start the morning off right

•and after he’d give you your morning kisses and tell you to get ready because he wanted to explore the city with you, even if he knew it like back of his hand

•He’d be super sweet the whole time too, like holding your hand in his coat pocket if it got to cold, talk to you cutely and gush to the old lady who ran the stand about how much he adored you

•Changbin would probably also take you to places that meant a lot to the both of you

•like where you both shared a lot of memories together

•to like reminisce and poke fun at your younger selves

•and afterwards he’d probably take you to the market and attempt to make a nice dinner with you (and try not to burn the apartment down)

[ H Y U N J I N ]

•Hyunjin had been listening to you closely for the past month or so

•and decided to no do all the cliche things on your guys first valentines

•since he’d rather do something he knew you’ve been wanting

•which is exactly why he showed up at your apartment in sweatpants, your favorite hoodie and a bag filled with your favorite movies and snacks

•of course he’d still bring a bouquet along with a new teddy bear to add to your collection

•but his main point for this valentines would be to cuddle you and watching movies and maybe sneak some kisses if you let him

•and he made his point pretty clear when he cutely buried his face into your neck before picking you up and rushing into your room

•he’d gently sit you on the bed before asking which movie to watch

•and when that is decided he’d jump onto the bed before cuddling into you, his head rested cutely on top of your chest

•and from there the both of would stay in each other’s arms, snacking on some sweets, having cute little conversations

•till eventually you both fall asleep in each other’s arms

[ J I S U N G ]

•being super soft for you meant he would do anything for you, even if it meant going on the Viking  

•but luckily for him going to the amusement park wasn’t exactly on your list of things to do for Valentines

•though honestly he would rather spend time with you than do all the  typical things couples did

•chilling in bed while playing games and watching movies felt the most ideal as long as you were okay with it

•plus he had a much bigger surprise for you that he had been working on for months

•since this year he decided to stray away from traditional valentine activities he decided that his surprise should be original as well

•and he’d probably show you his surprise when you guys were taking a break from your movie marathon

•like just out of nowhere “here listen to my new mixtape

•and it’s not even a mixtape it’s a fucking love song dedicated just for you uwu

•it’s kinda sappy but that’s okay cause it’s still a bop and only you can have it

[ F E L I X ]

•the moment he arrived at your apartment, to take you out, he’d be hauling a huge teddy bear on his back

•honestly the softest for you and even softer on this day

•you see it you like it you want it he bought it (I’ll go kms)

•no but forreal this boy is gonna shower you in affection

•anything you wanna do that day he’s like okay with actually heart eyes

•couples around you are shaking cuz it literally looks like you have Felix hooked and whipped permanently periodt

•like hoes better stay in their lane (I’m takin to you Karen)

•though besides going around town

•Felix would be a little bit more romantic and take you to an amusement when it got a bit darker outside

•and he’d win prizes for you, let you hold onto him during rides and kiss you at the top of the Ferris wheel

•and afterwards he’d take you to a cute little restaurant where the both of you can be that disgusting mushy couple

•that the old lady running the store would gush over

•and after all that he’d spend the rest of the night chilling you with either watching movies or playing video games

[ S E U N G M I N ]

•Being sentimental and wanting to be a photographer if not a singer really worked in this boy’s favor

•because yes he’d take you out on that typical cute teenage date

•where he arrives at your apartment with flowers  and your favorite sweeties before taking you out to all your favorite places till the sun sets but that wouldn’t be his highlight

•and the moment you walked into the dorm you’d know something was going to happen

•partly because the typically noisy boys were nowhere to be found

•Seungmin would hurriedly leave your side telling you to take a seat on the couch while he fiddled with his laptop and the tv

•and before you’d even have time to question, your guys song would cut you off along with the sound your own voice

•while processing the video playing before your eyes Seungmin would plop down right next to you a goofy grin on his face

•not really minding when you aggressively punched his arm in half surprise and disbelief, having prepared himself for this moment for months

•after all he did make you cry on valentines, with this little film of all the precious moment you guys spent together, ranging on the spectrum of goofy to sentimental

[ J E O N G I N ]

•Have it be your guys first valentines he’d be nervous but since  he absolutely adores you he’d want  to make it the best

•so this cute little bean would take the time to make you a handmade card and pick out an arrangement of all your favorite flower in a bouquet  before making his way to your apartment

•but rather than arriving and wanting to take you out on some fancy date or some cliche adventure he’d rather take you somewhere where you guys fancied

•like the park that you guys had visited a lot together

•he’d set up a little picnic with your guys favorite snacks and nice background music ( courtesy to Chan )

•and afterwards probably run around the park with you

•take turns pushing each other on the swings

•being that cute yet gross couple that kisses underneath the slide

•taking cute couple picture just to capture the moment

•and when it got late he’d walk you home where you both would probably fall asleep watching movies

[transvladking]

(1/7) Re: Monoma trying to do multiple things I think so too! Like when he talks there, he’s trying to 1. Get a verbal response? 2. Find Midoriya’s friends 3. Draw attention to himself rather than Shinso, who seems to be standing below him (why?). Though this gets thrown out the window when OFA goes crazy. We didn’t see enough of their plan to know where he was going with it… I think it does read as unfocused in terms of what he was trying to accomplish.

(2/7) If I were to guess what quirks he’d copied… maybe he didn’t take Shinso’s quirk after all. We saw the great synergy the other three 1-B folks had (subtracting any one of the three quirks lowers the effectiveness by a lot) and Shinso is right there with Monoma. Also, the 1-B kids were activating their quirks sequentially for their strategy, meaning Monoma could do the same thing by himself, time limit allowing.(3/7) And with the huge amount of destruction Deku can cause with his attacks, Twin Impact could be crazy strong. So it could be that Monoma was planning to distract Deku with such a sequence, have Deku realize that Monoma maxed out on the number of quirks he’d copied because of those three clocks (and thus lower his guard since Brainwashing wasn’t among them), and then Shinso would jump in with a well-timed impersonation that Deku would fall for… (4/7) NGL I feel more than a bit cheated about the OFA development because it basically makes battle 5 end prematurely AND WE MAY NEVER SEE THE PROPER FACEOFF. Like it’s cool but did it have to happen at this moment LOL. I want to see some serious development of the Class B narrative… I feel like Horikoshi-sensei is struggling to deepen it, in part because Monoma is a pivotal character for it but he’s been relegated to a semi-serious gag role.(5/7) I don’t believe Monoma planned to copy OFA—it’s clearly not something he can use safely without training with it first. Plus, he’s more familiar with his classmates’ quirks and gambling on getting physical contact with Midoriya (without getting hurt, mind you) doesn’t seem solid enough of a plan, especially when his stance is about “worse” quirks still being able to measure up against “better” quirks (quirks alone don’t make an effective hero etc. etc.).6/7) Not to mention (a generalization made safely I hope) we all know he can’t be allowed to copy it for meta reasons, because it’s a weird quirk and strange things might happen. Would be super cool to see though… Re: those REV cell/virus business and how he might have rough hands to help pick up DNA better—that’s super cool haha. I definitely buy into it! I had no idea about the LN stuff; those aren’t considered canon, are they? In any case, the implications are fascinating!!(7/7) I wish I could add on or somehow expand on your quirk hc but I don’t remember/know enough biology to say anything… also I unfortunately agree with your prediction about what’ll happen next LOL… I got caught by the 5 asks per hour thing ;; Thank you for continuing to splice these together. I don’t have a tumblr, which makes this exchange clunky, but I’m very glad I was able to think about these things with you!

Anon I love talking to you! And I’m really happy you found my leetol blog. If you have a discord, feel free to hmu at sonic fan first person second#1121 eawzfvgbht you seem very smart and very willing to hold a discussion which are two things i value highly in a person!

That’s an excellent strategy you have right there!!! I didn’t even consider that, but it really works with how Shinsou and Monoma sort of leaned towards Monoma being bait, which, essentially, he is.

While I agree that Monoma probably SHOULDN’T copy OFA, eh, call me curious? It’s one of those topics that’s been hotly debated, and theoretically, with my quirk headcanon, he could? But it’s all very nuanced and technical, which is why everyone would want to see it now. After all, Monoma doesn’t know what destructive force OFA has, he just knows Midoriya couldn’t fucking control it, which could make any quirk dangerous (Like how kirishima cut himself)

Also, Monoma would likely have an easier time, just because he’s been in the Hero Course (Gym Class for Punishment Junkies) for a few months, and he’s not the twiggy-ass middle schooler Midoriya is. But I agree, it likely wouldn’t end well.

I’m also not sure on the canonicy of the LNs, but it hasnt been disputed by canon so huge eyes emoji at that. I think it gives him a lot more possibilities, since his quirk had to get hugely nerfed to make it Not AFO

As for the class 1b issue, I do agree they need a solid storyline! But also, I feel like Horikoshi is scrambling for plot points- the All Might/AfO fight happened WAY too soon, seeing as he was THE BIGGEST FUCKING THREAT EVER, and while i can see the thing about bnha being about the next generation, the pacing just feels…bad. Because after that we have O-Ho and his Fuckboy Posse, and a bunch of other just random villains and school events, so the plot is sort of ambling along? There’s no real end goal. What we know is that the LOV is still active, and we think there’s a traitor. So I feel like Class B is just the New Opponent Of The Week and theyll be forgotten for another few arcs haha

[fyrapartnersearch]

Hey everyone!

My name’s Nakota, I’m 21 and I live in the MT timezone (I’m up at really weird hours tho so this really doesn’t mean much)! I’ve been rp’ing for around 9 years so I’d say I’m pretty experienced? Obvi I’m here looking for rp’s so here’s what I’m looking for:

-          MODERN fantasy/supernatural. While I love doing general fantasy and high fantasy, I’m getting a little burnt out and would like the modern luxuries for my characters. I also don’t mind post-apoc or sci-fi, they’re just not my main dig ya know? Within the modern fantasy genre, I like adventure, mystery and slice of life. I tend to reserve slice of life for character’s just getting to know each other, etc. Sometimes I really just don’t wanna think of a plot lmao.

-          2-3+ paragraphs, 3rd person. I have a tendency to write using a lot of flowery language and getting into my characer’s thoughts/feelings, so I can get a bit wordy. I’m not super strict on this as long as it’s over a paragraph but I really like people trying to match! Obviously, quality > quantity tho!

-      Basic understanding of grammar. I’m not perfect at it (there's probably a million mistakes in this, don't @ me) and I don’t expect you to be either. I won’t call you newbie for it or get on your ass as long as I can make sense of it.

-          Romance/no romance: Ok so, this is complicated. I like romance aspects to my rp’s but I don’t actively seek them out and it’s not something I auto-expect from an rp. I’m not a single shipper unless I’m really into a pairing (i.e. our character’s wouldn’t be an exclusive couple, even if you could tie one of them down).

-      Smut: So I definitely don’t mind it, but I definitely prefer it to be more like 70% plot - 30% smut. Sometimes, I prefer fade to black, it’s totally circumstantial. But basically: don’t contact me if you only want smut. However: a lot of my characters are pretty sex orientated, either in their personality, job, etc. so there will probs be discussion of it.

-      I do write every gender and I don’t have a preference for pairings really. Only thing I’m sensitive about: if you consider M/F to be “straight” at all times, don’t contact me. I don’t wanna deal with biphobia during my downtime too.

-      I do like character discussion/headcanoning, i.e. bouncing ideas about characters back and forth in ooc but I like rp even more. After awhile I get really bored. Talking about them is nice, but having them unfold in the rp itself is more fun.

Things I’m looking for in a partner:

-          Must be over 18, preferably over 20 too. Generally, all of my characters have mature themes associated with them so it’s a safety precaution, really.

-          Must use Discord. Because of my love of multiple threads, discord servers are just easy to make and manage. I’ve never rp’d on google docs but it’s also something I can access on mobile so I’m not totally against it either.

-          Love’s sending memes about our characters, like’s faceclaims/drawings and doesn’t mind the fact my grammar skills deteriorates in ooc (I like using lots of emojis, I’m sorry). If you’re ultra serious and end everything in periods, it’s probably gonna make me uncomfortable :’)

-      In general I really like being friends with my partners! I also expect a pretty healthy amount of back and forth. If I’m the only one really responding/getting excited, I’ll probably drop it.

-          Wants several plot lines. I don’t like plots that center entirely around two characters and tend to bring in other’s as side characters. I also really like having multiple threads going at the same time to help build the world and relationships!

-          Able to reply at MAXIMUM (I cannot stress this enough) once a week. Preferably is every day/every other day but sometimes I don’t even stick to that. However, I really don’t wanna only have 48 replies in a year ya know. I lose my muse for plots pretty quickly if they’re not somewhat rapid fire.

  I do have some specific hard limits:

No rape

No pedophilia

By extension I don’t like huge age gaps either. Supernatural creatures are a biiiit different though imo.

No dd/lg

Typical kink no-no's (scat, piss, etc.)

  Here’s a few of my characters/pinterest boards for them: https://toyhou.se/autophagic/characters

https://www.pinterest.com/nakotaday/

And some small little jumping off plot points (ideally I’d like longer plotlines than these serve but hey, they’re good for intros!):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10abhQ9nc8HCvSsM75HoHnF8LuBwwASk7-q9RtI1sOj4/edit?usp=sharing

I probably sound pretty picky, but toss me add on discord (autophagic#4096) if you have an questions/curiosities and if you made it this far! Please try and tell me a little bit about yourself too <3

[kpop-roleplay-world]

Rules And Guidelines

Hello, everyone~ 💕 So, my name is Diana and I love to roleplay and write, so I decided to create this blog. Hope we can get along~

I am sorry if there will be times when I will not be as active, but I am a student at University and also work at the cinema, but I will try my best to be here~

Also, I love interacting, so questions about me or simple conversations are welcomed ^^

Everything has rules, okay, we live in a a world where rules should be followed😂 So, here are mines:

001. If you decide to roleplay on anon, sign off with a name or an emoji.

002. I accept all types of roleplay (angst, smut, fluff, etc), but I have to admit I may not be as good as smut, so bear with me.

003. No smut with underage idols!

004. I don’t do private roleplays.

005. I will only accept creative plots, not cliché. I want to challenge my writing skills and those do not really help (might change my mind if I like the roleplay, no guarantee)

006. I want detailed, literate roleplays. So, hit me up with every emotion you have while writing.

007. If your prompt exceeds the word limit of one ask please add (½ .. 1/3 etc) at the end of your prompt so i am aware there is more for me to read.

008. Do not be afraid to ask if your roleplay went through ^^

Okay, so, sorry for so many rules, but I wanted to make some things clear. I want this blog to be a place you can enjoy, but one I can also want and wish to return every time after a tiring day💕

Hope you will enjoy my writing style and have fun✨✨✨

[xwillstudy-blog]

In the movie world, it is common for companies to be present in a movie because they helped sponsor said movie. The placement of these products and company logos can be both important to the plot of the story, or they can be irrelevant, obvious, annoying, and ultimately a mockery of the company and product in itself. Cinemasins has honored this annoying movie and tv trope as a sin called Product Placement, and in this, I will explain why this cliche deserves to be a movie and tv sin.

Let’s begin with the less obvious product placements. In Shrek, there is a scene where Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey arrive in Far Far Away and scattered around the scene, there are little product placements sprinkled here and there. Starting from the left, there is a Starbucks sign, moving toward the center, the Hollywood sign has been morphed to better the movie, and finally, on the far right, as the video proclaims, there is a Burger “Prince” nestled comfortably in the corner of the screen. Each of these little details is supposed to incite a chuckle from the viewer that notices them. The movie itself is about making fun of fairytale cliches by going against them with pop culture. The addition of these product placements helps the movie serve that purpose while also not being too direct and annoying.

Moving forward, another less obvious product placement is seen in Blank Panther in the “parade of black villainous SUVs” pulling up. Unlike later in the movie when there is a rather obvious product placement for a new car - the one that Shuri is driving in her holographic machine, the black vans are not directly trying to catch the audience’s attention about the specific car. It is more to show “the bad guy has arrived.”

An example of an obvious car product placement in a movie is Daddy’s Home the Ford Flex introduction scene. Throughout the movie, the car is used as an important prop, showing how uncool and geeky the main character is as a father. However, this is nowhere more apparent than in the very first introduction of the character’s personality. He goes from talking about how he loves being a stepdad straight into how he “loves his Ford Flex.” It could be seen as humorous to the audience because he is so direct. It could be interpreted like he is actively trying to break the 4th wall with the product placement, but it was ineffective and mostly annoying. A scene where he is simply smiling while driving in said car would have been just as effective.

Horror movies are also subject to the Product Placement sin as seen by the ever loved “Paranormal Activity.” In Paranormal Activity, there is a scene where Micah stand directly in front of the camera to adjust the lighting and such, and he does so for a pretty drawn out time. It is understandable that this is apart of a movie because the movie is shot like a home video, and it is meant to be him relaxing in regular clothes, but why choose CoinNet as the random shirt he was wearing. Movie directors are intentional in their every shot, so this use of product placement was ineffective. As Cinemasins said, “It lasts entirely too long, and is also entirely ineffective since I don’t know what they do, nor do I care.” In a car sponsorship, it is obvious that the movie is trying to sell the car as either fast, comfortable, or sexy; the purpose of the specific car is clear. The CoinNet did not provide a purpose and therefore, it was mostly just annoying filler.

Action movies are known for including products in their movies. Most times the products used actually serve a purpose, introducing something or someone, creating tension, being comedic relief, or aiding the protagonist in his or her fight against the main bad guy or girl. Three examples of direct and plot related product placement are Ready Player One’s Pizza Hut and Drone scene, The Losers’ Dunkin Donuts Copter crash, and the Emoji Movie’s everything.  

In Ready Player One, as the main character is explaining this world he now lives in, filled with high-tech devices and lazy people who wish not to face reality, there is a scene where a Pizza Hut box is being delivered to a person by a drone. It is ironic because it parallels to our world now. It is also not subtle in the slightest. Unlike other aforementioned placements, this one is not overly exerted and it does relate to what the story is talking about - a future where technology makes life better. The Dunkin Donuts Copter scene in The Losers, in contrast, does not use the product placement to further the plot. Pooch and Aisha are arguing about Pooch’s skills and in the middle of the verbal disagreement, a huge Dunkin Donuts billboard comes out of nowhere and they nearly crash. Of course, the billboard scene is supposed to be irony because it almost proves that Pooch can’t drive anything, but the humor of Aisha calling out “Donut. Donut. Donut!” is funny. The billboard could have been anything else - a phone, a baby, a whale, and it would have had the same effect.

Pointless isn’t the word I would use to describe most product placements. They are usually funny, if nothing else. Sometimes they serve to offer assistance to the plot of the story. Most times, they are there because the movie had to give credit to companies that helped sponsor the movie. One movie, though, takes away all my hope for product placement. This movie is The Emoji Movie. Off the back, one has to realize there will be pointless attempts at humor in the movie because the characters are emojis. But the blatant product placement in the movie is so glaringly obvious that it is almost impossible to highlight specific scene. You could talk about the Candy Crush scene where the main characters actually have to explain the rule of the game and then play it to move on with the movie. One could mention the scene where Alex is going through his home screen and the audience gets to see all the apps he has stored on his phone - subtle but not really. The worst, though, has to be Just Dance scene where Christina Aguilera welcomes the main characters, explains the rule of the game in an overly hyper voice, and then the character precedes to dance around, smiling widely as if the game is just that exciting and fun. With as many of the apps that were mentioned, it is almost impossible for the audience to ignore the reason for the movie. The Product Placement scene is supposed to be for fun, to highlight in a humorful way the audience caught the wink from the movie about a certain company or product. The Emoji Movie didn’t do that. It is a beautiful example of how movies overuse, violate, and destroy the purity of a simple nod towards a product. Usually, if a movie were to replace the used product with something different, the content would still be the same, maybe with a little bit of the meaning changing. The movie would still be the movie with the small revision. The Emoji Movie is unable to do this. When the majority of one’s plot focuses on the product placement, where is the enjoyment for the story.  

Overall, Product Placement or Direct Sponsorship are can shape a movie for the better. Most car product placement do this because they add to the illusion of whatever the movie is trying to sell about the character owning the car. Specific clothing brands do the same, but these are usually a lot more subtle. Food and drinks brands are the most common in movies because they can go unnoticed or they can add to the plot, depending on the way the movie’s director decides to include them. Popular electronics like Beats and iPhones are the norm in movies today, but they can be overused and sell this idea that all Americans have the privilege and the movie to buy and maintain these sorts of luxury items. In the end, there is absolutely nothing wrong with product placement...when used correctly. A product, company, or brand should be seen or mentioned slightly to allow the audience to know what it does and why it is important to the plot. The item’s use in the movie should be hint enough to the audience without the movie trying to directly sell it. All movies should keep in mind one thing when deciding on sponsorship deals; Never be another The Emoji Movie.

Viewer Discretion is Advised For Each of the following videos if you decide to watch the Cinemasins on them:

Friends - Pottery Barn

Shrek - Starbucks, Hollywood, Burger Prince

Black Panther - “Villainous Black SUV”

Daddy’s Home - Ford Flex

Ready Player One - Pizza Hut

The Losers - Dunkin Donuts

Paranormal Activity - CoinNet T-Shirt

The Emoji Movie - EVERYTHING

[psychicanchortimemachine]

Can data visualisation improve the experience of the mobile web?

It may be difficult to prioritize the cellular enjoy whilst it frequently appears like a compromise. Don’t encompass as an awful lot textual content. Remove some of your pics. Stay away from features that get within the cell tourist’s way. It’s type of like a discern who tells you, “Go out and have a good time, but don’t do X, Y or Z!” It’s now not always that a mobile visitor desires a shorter page, much less textual content or fewer pics to extra effortlessly consume content on a smartphone. They just want the content you provide them to not feel like a lot work. If you look more intently at your pages, you may find that some of the written content can be transformed into information visualizations. So, today we’re going to have a look at some things you could do to start changing extra of your content into pictures and decorate cell visitors’ experiences inside the process.

1. Go Beyond Traditional Data Visualization Formats

When you think about displaying facts in a graphical format, what do you envision? Probably graphs and charts like this:

This screenshot comes from a

Visual

.Ly infographic comparing net designers and developers. This particular piece of it deals with jobs-related statistical records, so it makes sense that it'd be translated into bar graph and line chart formats. As a author, I’m a big fan of this type of facts visualization due to the fact having to write out stats may be a major bummer. Like I recognise there’s a significant difference among the data factors, however I can simplest use bold fonts and bulletpoints so oftentimes earlier than readers start to look for the next new thrilling aspect to attention on. When strong facts sets are designed in preference to written, readers are less probable to bypass over and unintentionally miss critical statistics. But it’s now not just statistics that can be visualized.

This could’ve been written as a paragraph (e.G. “_In general, net designers are right brain thinkers, leveraging intuition, creativity, blah blah blah…_”). It could’ve additionally been displayed as a table:

While this would’ve perhaps been less difficult to read than a wall of text, it’s now not nearly as exciting as the image above. In order to pick out different sorts of facts worth turning into graphics, it’s going to require net designers to do a little thinking outdoor the box. I’d advise you start by means of acquainting yourself with the different sorts of facts visualizations that exist. You can use The Duke University Library for that. It has an entire page that shows how different kinds of facts can be translated into graphics.

The Pudding took this basic idea of charting facts points through the years and turned it into something precise in its “Colorism in High Fashion” article. This is a miles more effective and eye-catching manner to relay this information than to have a writer say, “Over the magazine’s 200-plus issues, 75% of Vogue’s cover models generally tend more closer to fairer skin tones.”

That said, this photo on its personal isn’t a scatter plot as it only depicts amount and trends. However, scrolling does subsequently turn it into a scatter plot. Notice how each of the orbs has been pulled out onto a timeline, representing the faces of the models on the mag covers. This isn't the traditional manner to use a scatter plot chart, but, on this case, it works actually well. And, again, it does a much more effective activity in getting the point throughout on cellular than a wall of text.

As you search for methods to try this in your very own work, hone in on the following elements:

Statistical facts,Short bulleted lists,Highly complex topics,Step-by way of-step explainers,Page or topic summaries.

These present the fine opportunities for turning essential statistics or subjects into visualizations.

2. Design Your Data Visualizations To Be Filterable

Of course, you don’t need to overdo it. In your mission to keep your website’s message on mobile, you don’t need to create such a lot of pics that it compromises web page velocity or that they begin to sense overwhelming. One answer to information visualization overload is to create a unmarried photograph, but use filters to control which data sets are displayed. Not only does this permit you to deliver a ton of visual records in a smaller amount of space, but it can come to be a competitive edge, too. Let me display you an example. The purpose why a CDN is useful is because it puts your internet site geographically closer to your goal audience. If the

CDN

doesn’t have the attain to do that, then it’s not well worth the problem. That’s why, of all the issues people ought to make when locating a provider, they ought to have a look at in which their points of presences truly are. This is a wonderful photo as it suggests in which its cache locations are and the way broad of a place the network covers. However, that is a static image, so what you notice is what you get.

Google has to apply the relaxation of the web page to list off all the major cities in which it has a CDN presence. Akamai, a competitor to Google Cloud CDN, has designed its media community map. On their map, you can see Akamai’s media delivery network (in orange) and its media and storage places (in pink).

Prospective users interested in going deeper into the information can use the filters at the pinnacle of the page.

Not simplest does this facts visualization design let traffic closely survey the statistics that’s most applicable to them, however it aids of their decision-making process, too. This method is definitely beneficial if you want to turn an entire bunch of records into a statistics visualization without having to weigh down the page with it. And with this precise version of filtering, you could spare your visitors the hassle of having to pinch to zoom in and out of the photo. They can customize the view on their own and get to the most applicable bits with ease. 3. Make Your Data Visualizations Interactive

Another thing you could do to % a ton of records into a unmarried picture is to make your facts visualizations interactive. Not only will this declutter your mobile UI, but it’ll get your visitors to pause and definitely take time to recognize the data they’re being shown. This is a recent post from Emojipedia. The article shares the effects of a look at they performed on emoji usage at some point of the coronavirus. It’s a splendid examine and it’s chock-full of facts visualizations. The layout is definitely attractive, but it’s no longer smooth to see all of the details in the picture on mobile. This is wherein interactivity would are available in handy. By making every of the bars within the graph clickable, humans could get greater records approximately the emoji, see the percentage increases clearly, and so on.

Is Data Visualization The Key To A Better Mobile Experience?

There are a lot of things we are able to do to improve the mobile user’s experience. If you haven’t considered statistics visualization part of that strategy, now could be an amazing time to as it enables you to: Condense the amount of space and time it takes to get your factor across,Design your pages to be greater visually engaging,Preserve the overall integrity of your replica for mobile and desktop visitors.

That, of course, doesn’t mean which you have to stop searching out ways to reduce content material on mobile. If it’s unnecessary or doesn’t add value, it must go. What stays can then be evaluated for a information visualization makeover.

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