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neteyamyawne · 2 years ago

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A/n : I'm in my Jake and neytiri feels for now so I'm gonna write all their requests now 🙂😩🤌🏼 y'all get ready. It's freaking 7.2k words wtf? I thought it'll be 4k max, i think i just proved myself wrong 😭💀 I'm so sorry this took so long 😭

Snarr ♡

Pairing : Jake x reader x neytiri

Summary : request

Light 🕯️

❈ Warning : mild to no angst, war, mention of blood, blacking out, injury, fluff, mutual pinning, etc. Let me know if more

❈ Word count : 7.2k , not at all proof read

"word" - dialogue

❈ Note : holy shit 7.2k? Even I'm surprised i wrote this much lmao

❈ Glossary : y/n - your name, y/t/n - your tulkun name, yawne - beloved, tiyawn - love , tsmuke - sister etc. Let me know if any were left out

I was swimming with tsireya when we heard the horns blow, it was uncommon to have newcomers here on Awa'atlu, i looked at tsireya who was already looking at me, this was new, just then we saw a few creatures flying over us, first i mistook them for tsuraks but then i saw them closely, these were different, i had an inkling what they were but i needed to see it myself, getting on a ilu, Reya and I, glided over to the shore.

As we reached the shallow waters, i dipped in, Reya following me, standing up i brushed away the hair that stuck to my neck and chest while i looked at the more bluer Na'vi than us, my eyes trailed, what looked like, the family of six, more exactly on the couple who stood in the front, their eyes were such beautiful amber color, changing every now and then in the sunlight, their hair beautifully braided with beads and trinkets, their attire had vines and ropes creatively threaded together, as i was looking them over, i made eye contact with the gorgeous woman who stood with courage and strength oozing from her, i smiled and blood rushed to my cheeks as i looked down when she gave me a slight smile back, walking towards tsireya and standing by her side, in between tonowari and her, while slapping ao'nung's shoulder when he made fun of the newcomer boy.

The atmosphere in the air was thick with tension as Ronal criticized the family roughly, they were here for uthuru, which has not been asked since years before i was born, the group of kids looked tired from the trip and so did their mother, though she was trying not to show it, Ronal then pointed out their flaws, i cringed as she raised the boy's hand who ao'nung was making fun of earlier, their father stepped in " look, look" he held his hand up, "i was born as a sky people, but now I'm Na'vi ,you can adapt." He let out an exhale "we will adapt, okay?" His statement clearly made a point, but then his wife said " my husband was toruk makto! He led our clans to victory against the sky people '' though her words were said with defense, toruk makto looked at her in retaliation, ronal's voice spiked up after that " you call this victory? Hiding among strangers? It seems eywa has turned her back on you, chosen one" i reeled back when the other woman hissed at Ronal and the tsahik did hold back either. I shared a look with tonowari, we both knew this was going too far, so he stepped in, holding a conversation with the man, i didn't hear the rest as my eyes focused on the little girl who stood with her family, while everyone was busy raising their voices, i waved at her smiling and and she waved back, taking a step away i knelt down to her height, she came forward her smile as bright as the daylight " hii, I'm y/n, what is your name little one?" She giggled and said "I'm tuktirey but you can call me tuk" but before i could respond her mother called her back, her eyes lingered on me, i backed away as i did not want to cause a scene.

Soon tonowari and Ronal accepted them, while ao'nung and tsireya were given the task to train the omaticayan kids, i was introduced to them by Ronal , walking beside tsireya with a basket of fruits and fishes in my hand as we showed them the way towards their mauri, tuk was bouncing on the pathway smiling in her own little world, neytiri and Jake , which i found out to be their names, walked behind us, i stopped in front of the empty mauri that faced a beautiful section of the sea, letting the couple enter i heard Jake say "this is nice? Yeah?" Followed by a sickening thump when neytiri let the mats in her arms fall down, i quickly put down the basket, ushering tsireya out with me to give the family some alone time to adjust to the new surroundings.

»»————-　✼　————-««

It's been a few days after the sully's arrived, tsireya and ao'nung were teaching their kids, i sat in the open common patch, where all the kids shuffled and talked, i taught the metkayina kids the sign language, so when they get into water one day for longer period, their communication can be better, but not only was i their teacher, i was the clan garment weaver as well, as the noise of the children got louder , i shushed them all, their doe eyes wide when they were caught, i was about to start talking when i saw movement behind the kids, Ronal, neytiri and tuk walked towards me, i got up warning the seated kids to behave i walked to them.

"Y/n, ma tsmuke, i need you to add another pupil to your class" ronal said putting a gentle hand on tuk's shoulder, the girl looked at me with the same sunshine smile, i smiled back holding out my hand for her , she happily took it, i nodded at Ronal, giving me a small smile like she knew something i didn't, she left, i shook that out of my head and looked at neytiri " don't worry, tuk will be safe here, I'm happy you decided to put her in my care" she nodded giving me a curt thank you and told me Jake would came take tuk after the class before leaving, i picked up tuk in my arms and took her to introduce her to the class.

After hours of laughter and teaching them some signs they could fit and remember in their little brains, i waited for each and every parent to come pick their kid up, everyone left except tuk, who was now dozing off in my arms, Jake still hasn't come yet, it was getting dark now so i decided why now drop tuk off myself? Making my way to their pod, i knocked on the entrance circle, neytiri's head whipped towards me, i waved at her, motioning to a fast asleep tuk in my arms, lo'ak and kiri were in a corner discussing something but stopped when they saw me, neytiri stood up , standing infront of me she asked in a soft voice "didn't Jake come to take her?" I adjusted my hold on tuk as i said "no, he didn't, maybe he must have been stuck somewhere and couldn't come, but it's okay, it was no problem for me to bring her" and for the first time from the moment she has been here, i saw her smile, a real smile , with her head tilting to the side slightly, and in that second, she looked gorgeous but i stopped myself, what was i thinking ?she has a mate, mentally slapping myself i moved to hand tuk to her but this girl was not ready to leave my neck, i awkwardly looked at the woman in front of me but she took a step back motioning me to step in, not wasting any time i walked in, trying hard to gently lower tuk onto the hammock and not to wake her up, straightening up i turned to look at neytiri who sat near the fire again, i was about to bid my goodbyes but she started before me " we'll be happy if you could stay with us for dinner, that is if you want to and thank you for bringing tuk back" i was seconds away from refusing but then thought about the lone dinner with no one to talk to back at my own mauri, atleast I'll not be so lonely tonight and agreed.

Jake was surprised to see me when he got back but before he could say anything, Neytiri talked his ears off about not going to pick up tuk and that I had to carry her all the way. I did not get in between , I valued my life more. Neteyam sat by my side, giving me a sheepish smile at their bickering parents, neytiri huffed at him, throwing her hands up at her mate's excuses, she made her way over to my side sitting down and serving me the food, Jake sat in front of me giving me an apologetic smile, i just chuckled under my breath at his tries to please neytiri.

The dinner with them was one of the best I had in years. Tuk woke up in the middle of it and no one was happier to see me in this world than she was. Immediately she sat with me, giving my introduction to everyone. Especially to her sister kiri, who was talking to me earlier about how to weave seashell necklaces, as she was having some trouble with hers and i was more than happy to help her, neteyam and lo'ak were busy bombarding me with questions about the sign language, though i tried to answer them all but they had way more to learn. when the dinner was nearing the end and my time to go home came closer, something in my heart panged, it looked like Jake and neytiri felt the same but i could be wrong and it's just my thoughts, i hugged each of them, giving tuk the extra longest as i departed, both the adults lips were pressed in a thin line, even if no words were said, feelings were changed that night.

I laid in my hammock, staring at the ceiling of my pod, the time of dinner played again and again in my mind, did neytiri really brush her hand against my cheek during the dinner or was it nothing? Was Jake really staring at me all that time or was it just me? My mind was in chaos, I was falling for a mated pair , what is wrong with me? I groaned, turning on my stomach and buried my head into the pillow, i hated this feeling but then again loved it more than life itself.

»»————-　✼　————-««

It's been weeks after the dinner and now it's a regular occurrence, I'd drop tuk at their pod and stay for dinner like it was all normal while i died a little every time i saw them, the longing increasing more and more, right now i sat with neytiri as i taught her how to weave a seashell and pearl top, just when horns blared across Awa'atlu signaling the return of the tulkuns, the return of my spirit brother, i dropped all my work and grabbed neytiri's wrist tugging her along, i said in a hurried tone " come on, my spirit brother is here, i need you to meet him!" We met Jake on the way along, they dived in behind me, i connected my queue with an ilu bringing Jake behind me as neytiri bonded with another, my eyes roamed to see a familiar tattooed tulkun, meeting his eye i had to suppress a giddy giggle that was about to escape me, hugging his side i said " it's so nice to see you again brother, i have so much to tell you, and about someone i met, well two people to be exact but you get my point!?" I signed as fast as i could, his chuckle reverberated in the water, neytiri and Jake watched in fascination, i motioned them to come closer and they did, taking support of his fin, i introduced them to my spirit brother, while he side eyed me, giving a all knowing look, i just rolled my eyes at him.

Jake and neytiri were thrilled to Meet y/t/n, plus the Olo'eyktan announced a celebration in return of the tulkuns, i dressed in the best pieces i made, and helped Ronal, neytiri, kiri , tuk and tsireya get ready as well, tsireya being my baby i gave her the top i was working on, and it looked gorgeous on her, at least now the forest boy's attention would be all on her, but it's not that his attention wavers from her anyway. I smiled walking out of my pod, after getting everyone ready, I was now late for the celebration myself and no one even waited for me…..as usual, i sighed.

The celebration was at its peak, drinks were being passed, couples danced together near the fire it, i went near the drink stand, the liquor glinted in the fire light, i sat on a log that was tucked into a corner, enjoying the songs bobbing my head to the tune, but soon enough my eyes trained onto the couple who stood up from the crowd automatically, their azure skin reflecting the soft shades of oranges so beautifully, their bright honey eyes looked ablaze in the moment, neytiri's top, that i gave her, accentuated her looks even more, their smiles making my heart flutter, just then Jake caught me staring, giving him a hurried smile i looked down at my drink swirling it in the shell glass, this was now getting worse, if this didn't stop soon i knew I'd get hurt, i get up to go for a walk as my mind would not stop reeling back to them. as i was about to walk out a hand rested on my shoulder , i jumped turning back only to be met with a face i was yearning to see but was too afraid to, Jake smiled, it was like a warm trickle of light on my skin, and neytiri stood beside him, she came forward taking my hand in hers, at this point my heart was racing faster than a tsurak on hunt, Jake leaned forward grabbing my other hand and i looked at them wide eyes, mouth agape, is this really happening? Are they BOTH choosing me? But before getting the answers to my questions, lo'ak popped up and we all jumped apart, the boy stopped in his track, looking at his parents then as me, as both jake and neytiri held my hands, i immediately wringed my hands out of theirs, looking at lo'ak as heat rushed to my face , lo'ak raised an eyebrow at me and i chuckled nervously asking " what do you want lo'ak? Is there any problem?" He still looked skeptically between the three of us as he replied " yeah, i was looking for you , y/n, i wanted to ask how you made that armband for neteyam, i want one like that too" I sighed in relief ushering him to come with me, i looked behind that them, both of them having a sly smile that i knew the answers to all my questions were giving without uttering a word. The whole night after that was too hot even when the breeze was chilly.

»»————-　✼　————-««

I sat with all the sully's laughing at something Jake said, neytiri lightly hit Jake on his arm, tuk snuggled in my arms and lo'ak leaning on me, as i patted his head, neteyam sat with neytiri, and kiri's head rested on Jake's lap as she was napping, i was being consumed by this family and i had no problem with it at all, Jake looked at me, his ears up, tail swaying side to side and i blushed under his gaze, neytiri wasn't any less, there was something going on between us, even the kids could sense it but we haven't given this "situation" a name , yet, we all knew what we wanted but still kept quiet for some reason, by now i practically live with them, I'm at their house almost all the time, even at night now i slept in their pod, it felt more normal than sleeping in my own mauri.

Brushing kiri's hair, I applied the oil to her scalp, massaging it gently, pressing on the point to make it enjoyable and she quite literally melted beneath my hands "do you like it?" She let out a loud sigh and said " like it? This is the best massage I've ever gotten, from now on will you, please, always do my hair?" I laughed at her request " but your mom does a better work than me" , "noooooo, she's good but you do it different, please please please, don't tell mom though" we both giggled at it but in the end i agreed, just then neteyam walked in, he looked at us, raising an eyebrow at kiri is said " i thought only mom could do your hair, huh?" Kiri just huffed and replied " ohh yeah, just try it and then you'll understand bro, her massages are like no other" her eyes closing, clearly enjoying the massage, so neteyam did exactly what she said, pushing her out of the way he sat in front me, kiri exclaimed loudly at being pushed as well as being interrupted in her massage " HEY! It was my turn, get up you skxwang" neteyam just smirked at his sister not budging when she tried to push him, in the end i had to break the fight, promising kiri I'll give her more massages later, while neteyam sat smugly, it was funny seeing the siblings bicker but it was homely like this, i unbraided his hair, brushing them back and carefully applying the oils, he let out a long sigh as he leaned back a little, i smiled he was liking it and that's a good sign "kiri was so true for this, you really do it different, ah" after the massage i rebraided his hair nicely, matching the metkayina style and adding the beads of his choice, all the while have good chats, the time well spent after he was done, he went to flaunt it to lo'ak on who did his hair today, shaking my head, i got up , arms aching but still content they were happy, i walked into the sully tent, meeting Jake i sat beside him, exhausted leaning on him, he grabbed my hand, caressing his thumb over my knuckles "long day?" I shook my head "no, it was a fun day!" I said, smiling at him.

»»————-　✼　————-««

I sat roasting a fish on the fire, as Jake was cutting fruits and neytiri was taking out the plates to eat, the kids were out swimming and training with tsireya and ao'nung, i laughed as Jake tickled my side suddenly and neytiri grumbled "i dealt with this for 15 years, eywa know how" at that even jake bursted out laughing, but my laughter died down when i saw a very serious looking tonowari walking towards our mauri, Jake and tiri noticed as well, and what tonowari said next made goosebumps rise throughout my body.

The other clans were being tortured for information but due to one word from wari they haven't revealed Jake yet but everyone knew this won't last long, my appetite evaporating as i looked worried at neytiri, she just placed a hand on my shoulder, rubbing the spot for reassurance, i let out a breath , sending a prayer to eywa for our safety, we thanked tonowari, now thinking about what we're going to do next, but something in the back of my mind nagged at me that something's bad is going to happen….and i was not ready for it

»»————-　✼　————-««

I rode on a ilu, beside Jake and neytiri who were seated on Jake's tsurak, my heart shattering in a million pieces as Ronal wailed for her now dead spirit sister, her roa, who just bared her first babe, who also now layed dead by his mother, tears streamed my face, sobs wracked my body as the memories of Ronal showing me to her sister for the first time, this should not have happened, those demons did this, rage kindled in my chest but my sorrow was too great, i swam besides Ronal, who hugged me instantly, ohh how excited she was to show her newborn to her sister, they were going to be mother's together, now she'll never get the chance too, i held her close to me, this was not how it was supposed to be.

The clan screamed and shouted for revenge on the sky demons, they were killing our tulkuns, this will not go without consequence, i stood beside neytiri, my heart thumped inside it's cage, i grabbed her arm in fear, the people raging towards Jake, blaming him for all this, my heart panged for Jake, he hopped onto the elevated rock and spoke "listen, you have to tell the tulkuns, to go away, far away as possible" but Ronal hissed at him lunging forward, i had to get in between to stop her, she hissed again before saying "you live with us and still haven't learnt anything!" I cringed back but held my ground, looking back at Jake he said the next best thing he could think of, grabbing the red tracker he raised it above his head, showing it to everyone "tell your tulkuns, if this was attacked on them, then swim away fast! Tell me and I'll come deactivate it" everyone looked unconvinced and i shouted at them to get them moving " go, move, tell every tulkun you come across, now!" They grabbed their weapons and dived into the waters, i knew a war was brewing deep in the sea, everything weighed on me, my knees gave out and Jake caught me, i held onto him for dear life, neytiri came closer hugging us both and i melted between them, and for the first time after whatever this is between us started neytiri kissed me, on the lips, i was surprised but kissed back in seconds, as we pulled back Jake groaned "heyy i wanted the first kiss with her!" Neytiri just smirked and said "looks like you lost, ma' Jake" with that she kissed me again but Jake got in between, this time he kissed me and i couldn't be more happier, we still stood in the communal tent, but none of us cared one bit, i leaned on both of them as their arms enveloped me, my mind going silent as no unwanted thoughts plagued my mind for now.

I packed my bags for later, they both asked me to come live with them and i couldn't be more happier, the smile that started from the kiss still lingered on my face, i was shaken out of my thoughts when tsireya burst into my mauri, tears ran down her cheeks and she barely stuttered the words out " it's lo'ak, he's going to tell payakan, come we have to go with him" dropping everything i sprinted with her towards the shore, we swam towards the three brothers rock, where neteyam, lo'ak , tuk, ao'nung and rotxo were pulling out the tracker from payakan, my eyes widened at the scene, "ohh no, no no no" they were targeting payakan, i looked around to see any sign of the sky demons, relieved when none in the sight i got onto payakan's fin, and helped tug the tracker out, and as if lo'ak saw me for the first time he shouted even if he was seated beside me "mama, what are you doing here?!" And my work stopped as I looked at him, wide eyed, did he just call me mama? If i wasn't fighting to save this tulkuns life I'd probably hug him and cry but right now all i did was "yes, listen to me lo'ak, call your parents right now, we do not have much time, the hunters will be here any minute" he nodded not even registering the fact that he called mama, i got back in pulling the tracker, finally after so many tries that piece of metal was pulled out, just when the demon ship rounded the corner.

I took the tracker from neteyam, yelling at them to scatter as i got onto my ilu, swimming away, i look back and some kind of ships following , i threw the tracker away rounding about when one of the ships caught my ilu's fin and i was thrown over, i wanted to scream but stopped, trying to swim away but the other ship was catching up to me, just as i thought i was caught my wrist was pulled, taking my whole body with it, lo'ak smile down at me as tsireya pulled me closer onto the ilu, the ships still chased us, weaving into the long seaweeds, the machines got stuck, leaving our ilu we swam towards plant that created an air pocket inside it, when i broke to water surface, i was surprised to see tuk there, gasping for air i held tuk against me, we calmed down, catching up on air, we had to get out of here soon, so taking in a deep breath we got out, swimming towards the seaweed but our path was blocked as some of the weird shaped machine shot out a net trap, that captured me, tsireya and tuk, lo'ak got out somehow but held on to the net as we were pulled out of the water, tuk latched onto me crying in my neck, my brain was distrort on what was happening but i held on.

The net was thrown onto the ship, our bodies hitting the hard metal with a thud, i groaned , the net was opened and someone ripped tuk out of my arms as i screamed and thrashed to get her back, fear gripping my heart, another one of the soldier wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck, pressing my cheek on the cold metal, my wrists were cuffed behind my back, right after i was dragged to the railing and strapped to it, even after tugging it hard it wouldn't budge, lo'ak was on my left, tsireya beside him while tuk was on my right, fat tears rolled down her face, i tried to comfort her but couldn't do much. To my surprise one of the men grabbed my face making me look at him, he leaned down and tuk screamed " MAMA!! Leave her alone, please" the demon Na'vi who held my face, tilted his head and said in a low voice " looks like sully got himself another blue bitch" he chuckled and so did the others, lo'ak bared his teeth at him, tsireya and tuk crying out when a brut pulled at their queues. The demon who held my face shoved me and lo'ak hissed at him, but the man ripped the transmitter from lo'ak's neck, speaking into it " Jake, tell your friends to stand down. If you want your kids and wife back, you come out alone. You know better than to test my resolve" he points a gun at my head " I took you under my wing, Jake. You betrayed me. You killed your own. Good men, good women. I will not hesitate to execute your bitch" my breath wavered, eyes jumping from him to lo'ak, fear evident in his eyes, i couldn't catch what Jake said but i prayed he would take a good decision rather than a hasty one.

I looked at the horizon, plenty of Na'vi floated on the water and saw Jake coming closer, my heart dropped, he was giving himself up, i tried to pull away but the demon hold my queue yanked me back and a scream erupted from my throat at the pain, i inhaled deeply praying to eywa for his safety, absorbed in my thoughts i didn't see payakan coming up, the splash of cold water brought me out of my prayers, payakan fell on the ships deck, slapping of several sky demons with is fin while crushing many of them beneath him, lo'ak whooped for him, celebrating in the moment, payakan slid down from the edge falling back into the water, but before i could say anything the ship started to move forward picking up speed, it didn't stop even when we approached a rock Island, the collision shook the whole ship as we were lifted up into the air, slamming down my head hit the railing, hard, my vision blurred for a moment and pain bloomed at the back of my head but i didn't say anything, looking around frantically, i saw tuk pressed against the cold deck, tsireya holding onto the bars for dear life and lo'ak trying to get a grip on the rod, sitting up straight, i saw neteyam bolting up onto the ship, running towards us he cuts up tuk's binds, then tsireya's and mine, lastly lo'ak's, i pull tuk to my chest, standing up, i lost my balance but straighten up quickly, pulling tuk and tsireya with me, i look back at neteyam and lo'ak who didn't follow me " c'mon we have to get out of here" lo'ak hesitated but said " we have to save spider, we can't leave him here" neteyam looked conflicted, sighing, i had to get tuk to safety and as far away as possible, so i spoke " be careful please, if you do not find him, turn around, okay? I do not want you two to get hurt, am I clear?" They both nodded quickly running to the hallway.

I swam with tuk and tsireya when the latter stopped me, her voice barely above a whisper "y/n, you are bleeding" i shushed her, nodding, it wasn't much, i just had to get through this, it can be taken care of later, we met kiri inbetween, i heaved a sigh of relief hugging her, but there was no time , just as we started to swim in the other direction, a roar boomed above us, two big talons grabbed kiri, pulling her up as she screamed for the rider to let go but to no avail, they took her to the ship, tuk pulled my hand, i looked at her, she signed towards the ships pulling me "baby we can't go there" , my mind frantic, i had to save kiri life but i can't risk tuk's as well, she shook her head " sully's stick together" so we swam to the ship.

we popped above the water and hauled ourselves up, crawling around until we saw kiri bound to the railing of a pool, we ran towards her, trying our best to free her but we were too late as the demon walked towards us, he pushed tsireya into the pool, i screamed but as quickly as i blinked he shoved me down and his men bound me and tuk besides kiri, tuk wailed " i can't believe I'm tied up again!" He looked at his soldiers, huffing he said "we can still get this done" and one of them replied with a "hell yeah" and We waited for a long time with bated breath,before the man who held a gun at me earlier spoke " Did you hear me corporal , same deal as before, you for them" he was talking to Jake, i knew it, he walked around us "I need the answers Jake or there's gonna be consequences" i couldn't hear anything what Jake replied with , i sighed inwardly, exhaustion was creeping in but i fought it, the blue demon walked towards his attendees "Let's get this guy, that's what we came here for" clicking his gun ready.

he walked towards us, pointing the gun out, he looked through the lens for a couple of seconds before he said " hold fire" they all looked around here and there searching for Jake, by the look on the sky demons face i knew he lost sight of him too, he swirled around and spoke into the mic after a while "Talk to me corporal, the ship's going down and your girls with it, only one way to keep 'em safe" a few minutes of silence before a blast was heard, the ship groaned at the explosion, tillting down, people were screaming and running everywhere, minute by minute people were being killed, then like a ray of hope i heard Jake's voice, but the demon crouched in front of us to trap Jake, i screamed at the man in front of me " THEY'RE COMING FOR YOU!" and tuk hissed at him.

I heard neytiri's screams from a distance, my head turned in that direction, heart dropping to the floor but before i could react, a hand clamped on my mouth as he undid my cuff from the railing, pulling me back against the metal wall so we couldn't be seen, i tried to scream but they were muffled by the hand on my mouth, he leaned down to my ear and whispered " one more sound out of you mouth and your pretty little lover won't be alive" i stopped thrashing against him as he held a knife to my throat, i saw Jake rescuing tuk and kiri, he pushed me forward , walking into Jake's eyesight, knife still held against my neck, Jake and tuk walked forward but he stopped tuk as she cried "mamaa" Jake put out his arm, he looked between me and the man who held me " kill him Jake" the demon pressed the knife even harder drawing in blood as i recoiled, " c'mon sully, weapons down" quatrich threw a orange band at him " cuff yourself, Do IT!"

Jake grunted, he threw his axe and gun away , bending down to pick up the band, " you son of bitch" Jake bit back, "not one step corporal" my blood coated the knife now, burning the place where it rested against my neck, tuk and kiri were behind Jake, and i didn't not see neytiri come up behind us and so didn't quaritch, she pounced out gripping a boy holding a knife against his throat, "you think i care about that boy? We're not even the same species" quaritch said, she tilted her head, lips pressed into a thin like as she spoke " a son for a son" dragged the blade up, plummeting it down towards the boy's chest with a yell, quaritch screamed "No, NOo" taking the knife from my neck and holding it up, i yelled at the sensation, letting me go Jake pulled me behind him, neytiri let go of the boy and hissed viciously, she towards us and tuk pulled her back gently, we all backed away slowly.

the ship still sank down second by second, quaritch stayed back but called out to Jake " I'm coming back for you, when i do, I'll kill you and your whole family" baring his teeth, Jake stopped in his track looking at back at quaritch "let's get this over with" and he pounced on to quaritch, i propelled forward to stop him but neytiri pulled me back, shaking her head, we dived into the water, swimming away but there was an oil spill and it caught on fire due to the blast, making us stop in our way out, the human boy from earlier, spider, yelled to turn around towards the ship, neytiri grabbed my arm as we swam back, getting onto the ship, i pushed kiri forward to go ahead of me, neytiri was with tuk, i turned back to her, i went to grab tuk but her foot slipped and she fell into the doorway, my heart lurked and i went in after her, neytiri right behind me.

I fell onto my side the water cushioning my fall a little but i didn't care, i grabbed tuk and neytiri was there beside me, i ushered tuk to go forward , we ran to the door in front, neytiri tried to open it, water was trickled our calfs, finally after a hard pull she opened it, the water pumping us forward, our yells and shouts muffled by the water, we got into a room with lots of tables, the ship was turning so we had to climb up them, i pulled tuk up by her hand, pushing her up to neytiri, we got to a closed door again, water up to our waist now, neytiri struggled to open it, i stood beside her and pulled the door with her, with all my might, finally the door gave away, quickly letting tuk in, me and neytiri swam in after her and the door slammed shut with the pressure.

i looked ahead but there was no other way, water was filling up, neytiri pulled me and tuk closer to her and we stood there, the wound was throbbing and being tossed around while coming here was taking a toll on me now, my head felt light, vision blurred, my hand latching onto neytiri's, she looked at me worried but i couldn't even explain what was happening, tuk answered for me " she hit her head on the bars, when we were on the ship, there was blood coming out too" now neytiri was worried sick, i shook my head trying to change the subject " it's okay, I'm fine, it was nothing" but she looked skeptical, there was nothing she could do either, there was no way out , i leaned on her " stay close to me please" time passed agonizingly slow, the pain in the back of my head now slowly spreading down my back and arms, water levels were rising fast, the ship sinking down faster, we were trapped and there was no way of getting out.

i looked at neytiri, all hopes of my survival leaving and i said those words before it's too late "ne- neytiri, this is not how i wanted to say it but ole ngati kameie, i see you and Jake, I've never known love before you two came in my life, you were the ember in my darkness, the light that led me to meet you, if this is the time we get in this lifetime, then all my hardships were worth it, you both were my light in the darkness that lead me to love you, if this is the only time I'll get to spend with you, than, would not hesitate to do it all over again " i smiled at her, tears spilled down her face , she placed a hand on my cheek wiping my own tears with her thumb, tuk wrapped her arms around my torso " you're going to be okay mama, i want you with me" new tears formed in my eyes, i leaned down kissing her forehead, neytiri spoke after a while " you're going to be fine yawne, we'll get out of this and you will live with us, do not lose hope now when we are so close, ole ngati kameie ma' y/n but please do not leave me, not now" she pressed her forehead against mine, i savored this moment, feeling every bit of it, exhaustion made its way but i fought back.

the water was now till our necks, i tried my best to keep tuk afloat as well, it was getting harder to breath, the lights went out a while ago, it was pitch black, so when a golden light flooded the place we all turned to the source of it, golden fishes swam in the water we stood in and then popped in kiri's head, i laughed in relief pulling her in for a hug, oh I've never been happier, we are going to be saved at last, she pulled back, taking the air giving creature off her back and put it on my back, connecting my queue to it, and surely air rushed to my lungs, i nodded, they all took a deep breath and Kiri lead us out, neytiri held my hand all the time while the other was in tuk's, after weaving through doors and passages we finally got out, seeing the surface both neytiri and kiri pulled me up and we all broke the surface and i gasped for air, i looked around and saw payakan, with Jake and lo'ak on his fin, we all swam to them, more like neytiri dragged me to them " ma' Jake - ma' Jake!" We both said in sync and he pulled us for a hug, i was hauled onto payakan's fin, and finally i let myself go, as i lost my fight against exhaustion, my head falling onto Jake's shoulder, eyes rolling to the back of my head, i pass of completely.

»»————-　✼　————-««

I open my eyes but the blinding bright sunlight stopped me, squinting, i looked around me, neytiri sat beside me and i looked up at her, memories of war flashed through my mind, me, neytiri and tuk being stuck, kiri coming to save us, me passing out on payakan and i bolted upwards, sitting up but the pain in my back took over and i cried out, neytiri immediately held me close, i didn't even notice Jake until was was beside me as well, checking on my bandages, my breathe uneven and labored, everything felt like it was on fire, every nerve in my body ablaze, i sighed in her neck, getting a grip on myself i leaned back, meeting their faces that held the brightest smile I've ever seen, i laughed lightly, then they started laughing and in the end we all laughed together, at what? I don't know, but I'm glad the great mother deemed me worthy to hear it again.

The celebration was full blown at its highest note, people danced in the joy of our victory, elders sang the most treasured songs in the name of another achievement, my heart swelled as i saw tsireya and lo'ak dancing together, i sat with Jake and neytiri, in between them while they both crush me beneath their body weight, as the party progressed, Jake took us both out for a walk, it's been a week since the war, we mourned the fallen now we must move past it, celebrate a new phase, i walked on the crunchy sand, the moonlight illuminating the bioluminescent dots on our bodies, Jake's tail wrapped around my thigh, while neytiri held my hand in her's, fingers intertwined, we got to a grassy part of Awa'atlu, where the sea was still visible, it was where the forest met the sea, the plants and surroundings glowing, it looked magnificent, we sat down on the soft grass, the silence comfortable as we laid there, under the blanket of stars, but it was disturbed when Jake and neytiri sat up, i looked at them confused, they helped me sit up and Jake cleared his throat and i stared at him " umm i know, this is long over due now, hmm i- will you-" but neytiri completed the sentence for him "will you do the honour and make us happy by agreeing to be our mate, tiyawn?" Jake nodded hurriedly, blood rushed to my face as it heated, not much as it was already hot whenever I was with them, i nodded smiling " yes, i loved to be" right after i said it, they attacked me with a hug as we fell down again on the grass, both of them peppering my face and neck with kisses as i giggled between them, soon Jake brought his queue in front of him, and so did neytiri joining hers, my mind literally dancing i brought mine coiling around both of theirs, the tides of emotions washed over me, as i looked at them mesmerized, their love for me wafting over to my side, seconds later i was huddled in their arms, warm and protected, this is all i ever wanted and that's all i got, i didn't know how much time went by at the celebration but as i saw the first rays of sunlight illuminating the dark sky, i knew this was eywa's way of telling me that this was it, this was my share of the love and i couldn't be more happy about it.

A/n : i finished writing this at 2am in the morning, it's still not proofread so bare with me please, I'll proof read it soon 🫡😊🤭 i hope y'all like it, share your views.

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @theycallmesia, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly.

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sencubussubs · 1 year ago

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I've seen ppl say that it's okay to know that your 3d will conform soon. But ppl always say to affirm that the 3d has conformed INSTANTLY (like, the SECOND you affirmed/decided to have something) because doing the former could unknowingly put you in a state of WAITING for your 3d to conform, & constantly pushing your manifestation into the future. BUT THEN AGAIN, ppl will say that "the 3d always gives you results INSTANTLY, BUT that the results aren't visible to our eyes yet because they're "still within the realm of the unseen" (which i think just means imagination/the 4d, the thoughts of other ppl, etc).

So my question is: WHICH IS IT THEN?

Because I KNOW, instant manifestation is possible, 'cause you can materialize $1billion in your bank account or revise a drastic appearance change in seconds, but I just don't understand what exactly these ppl mean by "you're results are always instant. you just can't see them in your 3d right now".

(idk, maybe I need to stop reading just EVERY & ALL blogs 'cause even though most of the info is the same, maybe I'm just getting confused by how differently everyone explains it😭)

hi lovely!

I was thinking of making a post like this so i am very glad you asked :)

firstly let’s talk about the instantaneous aspect:

The difference is internally vs externally. Internally is instantaneous, and externally (3d) can be instantaneous but people tend to be too busy looking for the desire and thereby internalising not having it. Thus 3D also will reflect not having it. The 3D will instantly start bringing it you though.

If you order a package from (some place far away) and cannot see the package in your hands rn you don’t start saying ‘it isn’t mine’, you know it is yours and on its way to you. Whether you focus on it being yours, or it being on the way to you doesn’t matter, both ways you know it is yours.

Essentially as soon as you decide you have your desire, or start affirming for it, you have your desire internally. Since the 3D is a reflection of your internal world, your dominant thoughts / assumptions, it instantly starts to manifest physically, bringing your desire - understand that your desire can come about in all kinds of ways (the unfolding) . Mountains will move if they need to for. Honestly as soon as you internalise the decision that you manifest instantly - you can. But if the way you ‘try’ to manifest instantly is by saying your affirmation then looking everywhere in your 3D for it, you aren’t understanding manifestation. it’ll come to you - literally in seconds - but looking for it is what is gonna make it not manifest, because looking for it is just reaffirming the dominant thought / state or identity of you not having it. Like seriously just let it come to you, it will.

do not allow the 3d to tell you what you can and cannot have, since it is only a mirror of you.

Now this is what feeds into the idea of ‘waiting reaffirming you don’t have it’

Yes, if you sit around waiting, staring at your phone for the text from your sp and only thinking about how it isn’t there - you are reaffirming you don’t have it. I personally do not believe this is the same thing as using “i will receive” (or just future tense affirmations) as long as you claim you have it internally, or you are saturating your mind with the knowing it is becoming yours. (this really depends on if you’re more of a states / feeler person or robotic affirmations person) at the end of the day in both scenarios the only thing preventing you from not manifesting the outcome you want (you receiving your desire) is telling yourself it’s not / never will be yours. Whether that is because you don’t see it right now or because of how you value(d) yourself in relation to your desire whatever.

So quick answer: I will be/have vs i am/have both work unless you’re gonna overcomplicate it in your mind and say they don’t. I think there are benefits to saying *desire* manifested instantly etc as your affirmation because it’ll saturate your brain with the idea that the 3D conforms instantly which is good :)

This being said, don’t demonize coaches who give example affirmations etc following a certain method/ affirmation type. Coaches / loass content creators typically are only gonna give you advice based on what worked for them, and usually if they find something that works they’ll stick with it yk, so their advice is biased to their success. And that is FINE but other methods / affirmations still work :)

Since LoAss is so broad and works for people in so many different ways (states, affirmations, visualisation, scripting) some loa coaches / cc are going to give cookie cutter routines etc to follow based on their success. As a result you may find clashing advice to follow when it gets down to specifics of different coaches’ methods. This does NOT mean that one does work and one doesn’t, they BOTH work. Just take a step back and bring it back to the basics. Avoid overconsumption.

What works?

- saturating your mind either with a state of being/ identity or affirmations

- Knowing you validate the 3D, it does not validate you

What is the only must?

- Persistance

So to summarise + a bit more

internal manifestation is instant, 3D will reflect that unless you start waivering / returning to previous dominant thought / state of being / identity that you don’t have your desire. As soon as you make the decision the you have your desire, 3D reality is working on bringing it to you so that it can reflect you correctly, until your desire is in your hands you do NOT take anything in the 3D as a sign of you not having it.

You don’t have to affirm that your desire manifests instantly - just saying you have it or are getting it doesn’t push it away - but it certainly won’t hurt :)

Try not to get too caught up on the specifics on how 10 different coaches manifest, most people don’t follow the exact same way of doing it, the thing that remains the same is some type of internal saturation. Manifestation is broad and there are so many methods to help you saturate your mind so just cause person A likes affirming “i love my blue porsche”, person B likes affirming “i am receiving a blue porsche 911 cayenne” and person C hates affirming but enjoys visualising themselves driving the porsche and embodying the feeling of having it, doesn’t mean any of them are doing it wrong, it just means they all found what works for them.

Not to sound like every manifestation blog ever but there comes a time when it’s time to stop reading/overconsuming and to start just applying. The world is your oyster as long as you allow yourself to believe it to be true.

I hope this helped answer your question and if it didn’t (embarrassing) please feel free to message me / clarify in a new ask and i will correct myself haha.

Love,

Saph

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #loassblog #loassumption #sencubus #loa #conscious manifesting #manifestation technique #manifestation techniques #wish fulfilled #wish fulfilment #states of consciousness #state of being #state of wish fulfilled #law of assumption blog

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javaghoul · 2 months ago

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Uuuuh idk I guess off of that, when people relate to him because he's "hard" or "tough" or "cool" I always feel really. Weird.

I know a lot of people relate to him because he's severely traumatized and still pushing through. A lot of people want to be glorified like he does. That's fine - that's their prerogative. But I can't see you as cool or even edgy if you relate to him, yanno? He gets reduced to his aesthetics a lot and while I understand the ghoul perception of him (which is similar to some of these peoples'), we as an audience get to see him much deeper than that. Focusing only on the things he's doing that Look Cool and not breaking them down or comparing them to him as a character is always such a loss to me. I feel like a lot of the people I meet - esp IRL - that like TG often don't understand it, they just think Kaneki is cool and tragic, and THEY wanna be cool and tragic, yanno?

It's their business - idc what kind of person u are or u project urself to be. I'm more mourning the characterization of Kaneki himself as I watch it get twisted into this super cool super powered edgelord who's ONLY cold and detached now. A coldblooded killer who doesn't care about anything. A lone wolf.

No... No no no. It's cool you see yourself that way but you're SO missing the point with him. Projecting that onto him is doing this pansy such a disservice 😭 If you met him in person you'd hate him, you'd think he's a whiny bitch (cuz he is lowkey)

- Same anon as last time. 👽

yay hi again Alien Anon 👽

I haven't met anyone in real life who feel that they hugely relate to any of the Kanekis' (or spoken to anyone online who do), so I can't really agree or disagree with what you've said. I can believe it happening though. I have noticed that Kaneki will get thrown in with lots of other anime characters that fit into the aesthetics as you called it, when he seems like the outlier of said group (possibly because I'm more familiar with his story idk). When Kaneki is mentioned outside the TG fandom, it's a very specific evolution of him that is talked about: Post-aogiri, pre-interacting with touka again kaneki, with no mention of his background, who he was, and who he becomes.

How do you feel about him being compared to Ayato?

I've always seen Kaneki as a vehicle for the real story of Tokyo Ghoul rather than it being HIS story. He isn't a character that I think I'd get along with in real life despite having things in common with him (being orphaned, let down by family etc) and I can't imagine a much younger me ever relating/idolising him in any sort of way as -like you said- he's kinda whiny, silly, and pathetic at times.

I mean, he gets there in the end, but he takes several country miles in getting there.

This is me reaching, but maybe people like to relate to him because they like the turning point where Kaneki stops giving a shit and starts getting fighty about it. He's spent his life getting treated like crap, then he has the enough is enough moment and takes it out on the world. I think there's people that daydream about being able to do that. Could it be a bit of wish fulfillment?

You put things more eloquently than I did, so I don't think I contributed anything, but thanks for writing this! I feel that Kaneki is an off-limits character to criticize so it's refreshing when someone expresses a different opinion on him.

Oh and to add, you said people perceive him as tough: I've never seen him as tough lol, survivor definitely. But then my definition of "tough" is having shit things happen to you and not allowing it to completely change you/your life (for the worst) if that makes sense, so that's a personal thing

#Thank you #Gimme an hour or two and I'll think of all the more intelligent things I should've said to this #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul:re #kaneki ken

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lotusmi · 2 years ago

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hello lotus! i'm the anon from this ask :)

first of all, i just saw your setting boundaries post. i'm really happy you did that. honestly i have an inactive semi-popular neville/loa/etc. blog in a decent-sized community at its prime and i know how it feels when people just trauma-dump on you and then ask for your help. experiences like that really discouraged me from posting about my successes, beliefs, findings, or just anything at all. we are people too and it really sucks to have people treat you like a tool, like you're just a means to their ends. i originally used to want to help a lot of people...even to the point of neglecting myself (i know better now of course), but...it's draining to have to receive those kinds of people. i distanced myself away from that community even though those were just a few bad apples and closed my dms very quickly after so it wasn't bad, and i ghosted everyone who did that to me because i didn't know how to confront someone at the time and tell them not to do that. but please to anyone reading this, don't ask other people to do stuff for you. why would you even trust someone else to do that for you? you can do it on your own, that's the whole point of manifestation and all that. people also have themselves to worry about. will you wait for them forever? no...don't. don't wait and get your manifestations now! i believe in you!

anyway, thank you for answering my ask and offering to talk in your dms! i will when life gets less busy and hectic, but i'll be reading up on your posts in the meantime in between. to be honest, sending in that ask felt like a whole declaration to myself about my path changing to the one i want if that makes sense. like declaring it out for other people and the world and yourself to see and feel. idk it felt really validating lol. i hope you get less of those asks and always remember to take care of yourself! ♥

yes babe I always thought this creating a blog would be easy since I had an huge blog in my law of attraction era and i was 12 and I could take that lmao 😭 I don't want to be mean to anyone but if I do not set boundaries I would explode! This the way I found and now I feel more light that I had made that post like- I was so sad people were pretending be my friends just to use me as tool or ignore my advices 😭 Now I feel better by the way~

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klqrambles · 2 years ago

Text

Phantom the Musical summary/thoughts!

I'm writing this partly because I fucking love this musical after having seen it one (1) time, partly because I have the memory of a goldfish and would like to remember what happens, partly to encourage other people to watch the (imo) superior musical about Erik Phantom :]

Speaking of encourage, I highly recommend people watch this the first time blind because I will be spoiling the twist and ending in this post and they both punched me in the gut when I watched it :D

Without further ado, summary (?) under the cut!

starts with a short description of the opera house and Erik (I'll just call him Erik throughout unless I'm quoting from the musical) appears on the side wearing the sickest mask I ever seen

Christine Daae is introduced and she's selling sheet music in front of the opera house. Everyone is enamored with her because she's nice, pretty, and sings well. (think Belle from Beauty and the Beast)

One of the people who finds her is Phillipe de Chandon, head sponsor for the opera house. He's immediately interested in her and recommends she get lessons in the opera house from the manager Gerard Carriere. He'd escort her if he could but he's got business (and other girls) to attend to. Christine's song is one of the cutest I ever seen

Joseph Buquet and Carlotta are going through the opera house. Buquet doesn't want to go to the basement but Carlotta forces him to cause, as it turns out, Carlotta is the wife of the new manager of the opera house. Buquet goes down to the basement and gets lost in the catacombs before happening upon Erik. However, he sees Erik while he's changing his mask and freaks out. Erik is forced to kill him after a moment of hesitation

In the opera house, things are in turmoil cause Gerard Carriere got sacked in favor of a new manager Alain Cholet (he bought his way into the job). Gerard tries to convince Alain to not sack him because there are parts to his job that he can't explain or talk about but are very important, but Alain won't have it. Erik drops down a note which says that Joseph Buquet has broken the rules. Carriere takes Alain to his office to try and scare him with the story of the ghost of the opera house, but Alain Definitely doesn't believe in Ghosts and he Isn't Scared and believes this is all a ruse by Carriere to get his job back.

Erik calls down Carriere. Erik reminds Carriere that it's his job to prevent people from coming into the catacombs, but Carriere says he couldn't do anything because he got fired. Carriere asks him if he really killed Buquet and he confirms. He had no choice, Buquet broke the rules AND saw his face. Just then Carlotta begins practicing upstairs and Erik freaks out. "Oh my god, Carriere this place really is haunted 😢" "No, that's just Carlotta" "Her voice is as hideous as my face... what does she do?" "She's the new diva of the opera house." "Carriere I'm going to die." "Can't help you I got sacked, remember? I gotta go." "Take me with you 😭" "You know you can't leave." "I know! Someone as hideous as me couldn't go to the world above!"

Christine makes her way to the opera house and tries to find Gerard Carriere as Phillipe recommended but because he got fired, she's sent to Carlotta to get "music lessons". Carlotta doesn't want to teach her but Alain tells her she's sponsored by a rich guy and so she decides to let Christine work in the costuming department to "learn by observation"

Christine sings a song about feeling at home in the opera house, even as a costumer, and Erik overhears and is instantly smitten. He offers to teach Christine as long as she promises to not see his face. She agrees!

Carlotta being the lead singer doesn't sit right with Erik so he keeps pranking her (putting bugs in her wig, gluing her props down, etc.) so her shows all flop. They ask the help of Inspector Leroux to catch the perpetrator but you can't catch a ghost. They also find the body of Joseph Buquet in the manager's closet, left there by Erik. Meanwhile Phantom is teaching Christine and falling steadily in love with her. They nearly kiss 3 times and Erik both initiated and turned away from it all three times 😔Erik says that Christine has learned all she can and should debut soon. She mentions that auditions are closed, but Erik has a plan. The Bistro across the road has open mic :]

There's a party being hosted by Phillipe that's a singing competition. He's invited everyone including Carriere and Christine. Carlotta sings first and only gets fanfare from her husband. Christine sings next and blows everyone away. Carriere mentions she's extremely good at singing like one of the previous opera house divas, Belladova. Carlotta (in a very sus move) praises Christine and says she absolutely has to play the lead role Titania in a new opera. Phillipe, who was already smitten with Christine, is now fully in love.

Phillipe escorts Christine to his favorite place in Paris in a car (there's a CAR!) and shares a glass of champagne with her. he sings about how he loves her and she says she needs some time to make a decision. Erik saw them from the shadows and is sad that she didn't see him. He wonders if he's just going to have to let her go the way he's let everything else good in his life go.

It's the day of Christine's debut and she's nervous as hell. Carlotta brews up a drink and tells her that it's an "herbal tea" to "help soothe the nerves". So Christine drinks it all and goes out to perform. But as then she finds her throat is really dry and unable to sing properly. Erik reveals himself and drops the chandelier (it actually drops to the floor! controlled of course, but! it drops!) as a distraction while rappelling down and taking her down to the catacombs. Phillipe tries to stop him, but gets shoved out of the way by Erik. Erik also notices on the way down that the "drink" Christine was given was actually a poison. Carriere knows where Erik is going, so he goes down to confront him.

End of Act 1 :D

(warning for Act 2: some mentions of attempted suicide and death)

Before Act 2 really starts they fix the chandelier

Erik takes Christine (unconscious) on a boat ride to his room. He sings about how she's his world and the thought of her having to face the cruel outside world pains him and that he'd protect her no matter what. That he'd get revenge for her.

He settles her into bed and is about to leave when Carriere confronts him. Carriere begs Erik to let her go but he refuses. "I can't send an angel like her to a hell like that." When Carriere doesn't let up, he explains how she was betrayed and he loves her and would never let anything bad happen to her. He'd much rather pull a lever that destroys the whole opera house (which is a thing, apparently) before sending her back up. Erik kicks Carriere out and tells him to never come back before leaving himself.

Christine wakes up, confused. Carriere (who didn't leave) finds her awake and tries to convince her to leave, saying how Erik was a horrible guy and if you'd just see his face. Christine says that she's seen his eyes and believes he's a good man at heart. Carriere explains that even good men can do evil things (this doesn't do anything to her) and that he loves her because she sounds like his mother. Christine notices that Carriere knows a lot about Erik and Carriere reveals that HE'S ERIK'S DAD?????

They then move into a ballet/musical number hybrid that details how Carriere, when he was assistant manager, met Belladova who was a ballerina at the time. They soon fell in love and Belladova revealed to him that she was actually an extremely good singer. He convinces her to audition and she becomes really popular for her singing extremely quickly. The lovers get really close and eventually Belladova reveals she's pregnant with his child and wants to get married but, uh oh! Carriere hasn't told her a very important fact about himself! He's fucking married! Because Belladova became pregnant out of wedlock, she gets rejected by everyone she relied on and runs away from Carriere. She turns to poison in an attempt to either abort the child or kill herself, but it fails to do both and she gives birth to Erik. Carriere is horrified by Erik's disfigurement, but Belladova believes that he is the most beautiful child in the world. She tries to take care of him within the catacombs but ends up passing away when he's still a child, leaving Carriere to take care of him. Erik eventually sees his face for the first time in the water and freaks out, thinking it's a sea monster. This is when Carriere fashions him a mask and his cries begins the rumors of the Phantom of the Opera.

At the end of the story, Carriere tries one more time to convince Christine to leave, but Christine is dead set on staying. Carriere takes his leave.

Cut to Phillipe looking through the catacombs for Christine but failing to find her in the depths.

Cut again to Erik who's gone to face Carlotta. He tells her to leave his opera house or die and she tells him to get out of HER opera house. She runs up a metal staircase and Erik unattached a live cable and sends the electricity up the stairway, shocking her to death. (The bitch fucking dead yall can I get a hell yea)

Erik comes back down to his lair a bit in shock and accidentally wakes Christine up (she fell back asleep waiting for him). Erik awkwardly stands and asks what they should do, if she wants to have a picnic with him at the nearby forest. She agrees and they go to the "forest" (it's made of papermache and paintings) and excitedly shows off the "animals" that live there. He sets up a picnic and they share a poem which leads to Erik admitting he misses his mother. He asks her to sing and Christine agrees as long as he does a favor for her. He says he'd do anything for her and she requests to see his face. He says he can't do that, but she persistently requests it. When he finally capitulates, she's horrified and runs away. Erik laments his fate and how everything good to him seems to disappear. "I curse you! No, no, I love you. I love you! I curse you, my Christine!"

Phillipe who's been looking everywhere for Christine (he's very disheveled and not looking great himself) and has come back to her dressing room where she was last seen. Suddenly Christine appears behind the dressing room mirror and Carriere (who heard the commotion) comes up to open the false mirror. Christine admits that she saw his face and that she was so in shock she ran away. She realizes that she messed up and that she needs to go back and apologize. Tell him that she loves him and that she made a mistake. She runs away (not through the mirror) and Phillipe follows her. Carriere tells Inspector Leroux (who had also heard the commotion and come by) to evacuate the building as he wasn't sure what the Phantom would do. Everyone leaves to find Erik and Carlotta's body is found by her husband. Erik appears through the dressing room mirror, looking for Christine. Erik wanders through the opera house and is discovered by some of the patrolling policemen. He runs away, but is shot in the side in the process.

Carriere finds Erik bleeding out and hiding in a side room. Seeing Erik's state Carriere doesn't know what to do. Erik wants to go back to his home, but there's no direct access to the catacombs from where they are and they'll have to cut across the stage. Erik asks if Carriere has anything he wants to say to him. Carriere admits to being Erik's father and Erik acknowledges he already knew. They could only look so similar before it becomes suspicious. They have a really cute father-son bonding moment 😭. "Is there anything you wished of me?" "Well, I had wished you would've been more handsome." "Well, at least I have my mom's voice." "You certainly do. You would have been the best tenor in the world." Erik begs Carriere not to let him be captured by the police. To be shown off like a freak or monster. He wants to die in peace. Carriere agrees and attempts to escort him down to the catacombs.

Christine finds them as they attempt to make their way across stage and tries to apologize only to be horrified to see Erik's been shot. Phillipe (who's still following her) finds them and attempts to apprehend Erik. They brawl and Erik pulls a knife on Phillipe, but in his weakened state is unable to do anything and tries to run away instead. They find themselves brawling on the second floor walkways. Leroux tells his men to capture Erik alive. Erik tosses Phillipe over the balcony and he hangs on for dear life. Erik's about to push him off, but Christine begs Erik to save him. That she knows he isn't like this. Erik hesitates, but ultimately chooses to pull Phillipe back up, but also finds himself surrounded in the process. With no means of escape left, he grabs a nearby rope and attempts to swing over to where Christine is, but fails becoming trapped on the rope. He screams for Carriere to help him and Carriere steals a gun, threatening those who are around to back off. Erik begs Carriere to shoot him, he promised to allow Erik to die in peace, to not let him get captured. Carriere hesitates, but ultimately shoots Erik in the chest. Erik falls to the floor, not yet dead, but soon to be so. Carriere requests Leroux get everybody out of the opera house, that he'd explain everything later. Leroux says he can't do that, but Carriere whispers something in his ear and Leroux clears out the building. Christine runs over to Erik and stays with him. He asks her to sing and she does, taking off his mask and seeing him "for real" for the first and last time. He passes away as the song ends and Christine and Carriere cry for him.

AND THAT'S IT! THAT'S LIKE 90% OF THE MUSICAL! Some things I loved but wasn't really sure where to mention in the summary:

Carlotta and Alain are the funniest duo and extremely cheesy kind of lovey dovey. They will unironically call each other their "Cutie" and "Itty bitty little guy"

The actress that I saw who plays Carlotta is really good at singing bad and is perfect.

I'd say Erik in this is in his early to mid twenties with Christine being about the same

Phillipe co-owns a famous champagne company

Carlotta often laments that she has to do EVERYTHING as a diva and complains how she's "only" able to sleep 10 hours a day.

Erik has a lot of different masks which are all both a real mask and a symbolic mask. There's a winged one which he wears during the introduction that's kind of his "mysterious" one. A crown mask for when he feels particularly triumphant. A black one which he wears when he kills people. A half face white mask with a teardrop shape decal that he wears when he's feeling particularly sad. And his "normal" mask (the half face white one) which he wears when he's being more genuinely himself.

This is one of the few times I genuinely wholeheartedly ship Christine/Erik. They deserve each other and love each other and ueue

Phillipe is also a womanizer. There's that. He also felt more like a main side character than a main character which I think helped him in the end. You didn't need to know much about him except he's rich and he likes Christine and Christine ends up rejecting him by swearing her love for another.

Like I said in the beginning I love this musical. It's so fun, it's a really good mix of comedic moments with serious moments. Erik is really endearing and feels more human (?) than in PotO. Also Christine and Erik's relationship doesn't feel stockholms-y/pity-y at all. They genuinely learned to love each other. Erik is also much less stalkery about everything, holding their lessons in person and asking if she wants lessons in person and actually considering letting her go if she loves Phillipe. He's so nervous around Christine because he wants to make a good impression 😩 And Christine voluntarily chooses to stay which makes her running away hit so much harder. The music is also banger, costuming is amazing, the ballet sections were gorgeous, and all the other characters (not just erik) felt really human. 10/10 would highly recommend :D

Erik is definitely going on the "yea, he murdered people, but he didn't do anything wrong" list

#klq phantom #phantom the musical #erik phantom #christine daae #long ass summary

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acourtofthought · 2 years ago

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Elain needs to get out of the NC. I'm definitely not saying this as an anti Elain because I'm not, I'm pro Elain through and through and I'm saying it as such. Everyone is just coodling and underestimating her in the NC. No one there (maybe besides Amren but it seems like she's doing that more to get under Nesta's skin) thinks Elain is capable to handle anything dangerous or traumatizing and some of the reasons they do so is because they've seen the state she was in in acowar and certainly didn't like it, and Elain has made the mistake to do whatever they required to the point that when she does speak up, her voice is immediatly taken away.

Elain and Nesta had an argument, and before it ended Elain said to the IC "find me when you wish to begin" and left. Now, Imagine how long she waited in her room for them to knock and tell her they wish to begin? In the end, as soon as Nesta said yes, they've forgotton about Elain so fast... Elain wasn't even included. Everyone besides Mor and Elain (only because Mor was in the continent doing business) was there.

The suppose love of her life couldn't even come to her room and encourage her, invite her or at least tell her his concerns he has for her? Ah no, he rather tell the IC that Elain shouldn't do what she wants because it's dangerous and leave it at that. It's still is weird to me that el/riels brag about how many moments El/riel had on acosf, when most of these moments were just Azriel being overprotective and the way he was was not a good thing.

Don't even get me started on how she's willing to sacrifice her comfortability just so the IC sees her more than a scared fawn by facing the cruelty of the Hewn city which is the darkness of the Night court. At least Cassian is realizing that she doesn't fit in the Night court.

Elain needs to grow and she clearly can't do that around people who coodle and underestimate her. See more sunshine, find her own friends aka family, go travel the world like she always wanted to and figure out what she wants to do and who she wants to be. She needs to be more selfish and realize that she does not have to please anyone if it requires her to risk her comfortability. In the 2 years that have past, nothing changed for Elain in the night court, it's just that Elain gets better at pretending.

I don't believe this bullsh*t that Elain is happy in the NC with the IC, already found her chosen people (N & C) and found the love of her life with whom she's apparently already deep in love with. Feyre struggled when we meet her and she had many struggles throughout the books, Nesta struggled in the first 20 chapters we've read and still had to put much work in order to get the HEA she wants, I can't see how Elain would start the book already happy. What El/riels do not understand is that if she's happy and healing good in the NC with her chosen sisters and chosen love, then we wouldn't need a book about her. I'm certainly not interested in reading about her fixing Azriel through secret sex and do some spy crap. I want her to struggle, to hate, to be sad, be angry, be confused, make mistakes make wrong decisions etc. I want her to also work for her HEA rather than be a lucky fawn that already got everything she wanted before her story even started.

I need to see her out of the NC because like I said, nothing changed for her there. I want to see if she can do that elsewhere, if things still not change or if they do have so much to offer.

And I also admit that a small part of why I want her out of the NC is because I too am tired of the NC and the IC. Just like Elain, I wanna see more of the other courts and what they offer. We've been in the NC for far too long and I just really need a change. Just a little break from the NC shouldn't harm Sarah 😭

Elain's book, which could be the last, has the potential to show the best story. Yk, being out of the NC and see more of other courts, Elain's whole healing journey and her finding her own people, defeating the remaining queens and the big bad that is Koschei, the new things we discover and lern about etc.

I think we're sharing the same brain right now.

I feel EVERYTHING you said and I am 100% Pro Elain. Like I will still like Elain regardless of who she ends up with, that's how Pro Elain I am.

But I am Pro Elain because I think I understand her character so far (and like what I’ve seen) and staying in the Night Court means Elain has to sacrifice parts of herself in order to remain and I don’t want that for her. I like Feyre, Nesta, Rhys, Cassian, etc. but they are them. They ARE the Night Court and they embody it’s philosophy. Elain is someone all on her own and I don’t want her to become more like Feyre, Nesta, Rhys (etc) in order to truly find her place there.

I like that Elain is bothered by war and cruelty. Sure you need people that aren’t so they can be the protectors of Prythian just like in the real world we need and respect our military men, women and non-binary peoples. But that’s not for everyone. Elain shouldn’t have to become someone else in order to have a role in the IC. The IC who stands around talking about plots against Courts and who needs tortured to obtain the information they require. She should be allowed to find the role that suits her and not “suits her enough so that she can remain with her sisters”. Because again, that’s forcing her to become more like her sisters just to force the puzzle piece to fit whether it belongs there or not.

Yes, Elain has been trying to show she’s willing to help but that doesn’t mean it’s an entirely comfortable thing for her. When you see everyone cliff-jumping and you’re the only one who REALLY doesn’t want to, you’re going to feel obligated to do it anyway. Elain has been trying to make up the past to Feyre ever since their years in the cottage and this is just another way to show her that she’s not useless and unhelpful. That doesn’t mean it’s what SHE wants, it could mean she's trying to show them she can try to be what THEY need. She shouldn't have to "try to be" anything though. She deserves to be herself.

And Nesta has always stepped into the role of Protector for Elain whereas Feyre has designated herself as Provider. Regardless of where the sisters end up, I think that dynamic will be difficult to completely let go of and that means there will always be a part of Feyre that feels responsible for Elain and one where Nesta struggles not to jump in and protect her. Az already seems to struggle with this too. If Elain stays in the NC, they will all continue falling back into those old habits which only stifle everyone involved.

Like you, I think Elain is pretending (to herself and others) that her current life is enough for her. Because how boring would her book be if she's really so content and happy and has everything she could possibly need right now? And that's even without the repeated mentions of her NEEDING to see Spring and her DESIRE to travel to the continent and the regular refrain of her wanting sunshine along with her Mate being the son of someone described as the "Sun personified"? It's almost laughable how the other side tries to magic away these very major points all in favor of a male who talks about what she should not do behind her back, who threatens to kill others without blinking even though we know Elain wouldn't want that, who admits to hiding who he is from her, who admits that a major part of him (his shadows) hide from her, and who admits he hasn't even thought of her outside his sexual fantasies. Add that into it being Canon that her sisters underestimate and don't really know her?

Honestly, if you like Elain at all why would you want her to build a life around that?

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years ago

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THE GHETTO

Government officials pulled down JK's posters and banners because locals complained he supports homosexuality??

I don't know how true it is but this shit is getting exhausting. It's always Jikook💀

Also I see what you mean bout Taekook.

That one time Jk didn't post for Jimin, I nearly died. I can imagine what y'all are going through but it's Tae... and Jk yall are shipping together. you's lucky you get any moment at all chilee.

They are the two most ghetto members of BTS. The least predictable- the only thing predictable about them is their unpredictability. Lmho.

Personally, I'm not too happy about it not gonna lie. Not just because it's Tae and Jk but because I just don't like change. It's hard for me if so much fun things and traditions change within bangtan.

The world is filled with so much selfish individuals, uncertainty and instability its always amazing watching 7 men with so much chemistry love on each other and offer that consistency and stability we are missing around us.

And I hear a lot of people say, oh but it's nothing. He might have wished him in private. I believe he did.

But Bangtan birthdays have always been a way for Army and Bangtan to participate and bond over. We are almost like family in that regard. We've always participated in that culture and tradition it's become a fandom tradition to be expected.

I expect to see Suga sleeping in places he shouldn't sleep.

I expect to see Jin with one shoe missing.

It's fun. We laugh. We bond. We keep it pushing.

I respect Tae but he's not my favorite person in the room right now.

When they said they expect JK to get back to posting I thought that included every one.

May be I'm too attached to certain cultures within the group and it's time to step back a little.

For now the only member I'd recommend stanning is Hobi and Suga. They never disappoint. Hobi has the biggest heart in the world. He is an amazing loving consistently nurturing person and henceforth my bias whom I ship with myself😌

I don't care bout the rest😒

Don't know them. Never heard of them.

Y'all can have vminkook

I'll stick with the hyung line and Jin from now on. They make me feel safe😌

I'm just gonna say if he don't post for Jimin coming October again I....

Really all I can do is cry😭😭😭😭😭

My vmin heartu😭😭😭😭

Not that I care about Vmin anymore. I don't. They can step on legos💩

Their birthdays is starting to be nothing to look forward to and I blame the Maknae line.

I feel bad to include Jimin in this but he is the oldest and it's his squad so... no kithes for him either.

Rather than look forward to it as a moment of joy, they have us on the edge of our seats biting our nails.

The ghetto of it all.

FREE US.

If you ask me why I think he didn't post I'd say it's because he didn't wanna and perhaps don't see the need to engage in social cultures such as that because acts like that don't have value to him anymore.

People do what they want to do or are told to do. When they are pushed to do what they don't want to do they half ass it.

Frankly I thought all that ghetto shit was in the past.

Or maybe he didn't have internet, was too busy, sick, had his phone stolen or screen broken etc.

I'll the rest for Ko-fi.

Tae Kook a grinch we been knew.

For now all I can say is sorry luv.

There there

GOLDY

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celestialblushxoxo · 3 years ago

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hiii! may i please participate in this game? my pronouns are she/her and my initials are MS. i'm so excited to hear from you! thank you so much for this and merry christmas! <3

Hey babie, hope you're having an amazing day/night💗 Here's your reading ✨

Knight in shining armour. The first thing I heard. He is this charmer, admired by many. Macho lmao. A total charmer. He is intelligent, witty, has good sense of humour, affectionate, he literally looks like a model lmao. Like he has that effect on people, the IT boy, men wanna be like him you know that kinda energy. Athletic, maybe involved in sports as well. Loves to party, celebrate anything literally, ambitious, sees his close mates as family, Life Of The Party energy, not at all an introvert. But ofc he has issues like everyone. Afraid of commitment and emotional intimacy. It's not like he never wants to be in a relationship or marriage or something. He does, he loves love but he is afraid and also has fixed opinions. He wants things to go in a certain way, he has this image of how a perfect relationship should be in his head and how a partner is supposed to be. He is afraid to share how he feels, afraid to be vulnerable. What I see is this makes him literally single like you maybe his first proper relationship (and only ofc). It's like he's had flings but he never had a proper relationship with them cause he didn't find that bond and didn't feel like they fit his criteria. The funniest thing I see is you are literally unexpected in his life firstly. Like your entry is unexpected. Secondly you literally aren't like the girls he had flings with or had in his mind. You're different. You change his perspective on love. You literally change his fixed opinions god😭🙌 go bestfriend 🙌 he won't know what hit him seriously. This was important to say hence the whole story. Moving on to his looks, he's this tall, dark and handsome. Conventionally really handsome. Dimples. Striking smile. Gorgeous hair. Oh god these adjectives keep coming in lmao, he definitely gets complimented everywhere. Turns heads where he goes. Strong, athletic and muscular, toned body. Inverted triangle body(SIS YOUR MAN ISTG🤤) , Has a good dressing sense, model like, beautiful teeth, may have dragon teeth on one side I hope it's called that you know the pointy canine. Smells good. Long limbs. Veiny hands. Dark features, hair, eyes etc. Maybe a latina or south asian or African descent is also what I see. His financial condition, well he is wealthy, I see family money. He may look after the family business or have his own. He is very loyal, someone who is very caring and also soft hearted like he may look like this party animal, carefree but he is a big softie hahaha awwww. What do others/his close ones see him as this gorgeous human being, who can literally charm anyone, get away with stuff, resilient, brave, someone definitely fun to hang out with, understanding, a good listener, a teddy bear at heart, he's good at giving hugs, Someone affectionate but also guarded and emotional at times as well. Right now I think he is in uni or higher studies, like he is still a student. The popular kid. Frat boy? He may have gone abroad to study or something but yeah he is having fun hahaha. With you, he'll treat you like a babie, he wants to protect you, he'll keep complimenting you and he'll always make sure you know that you mean the world to him. Big on cuddles and kisses. Gift giving is also what I see. Restaurant hoping, random and spontaneous date nights. A very playful and loving relationship.

Possible placements: Libra, Gemini, Taurus, Leo, Venus, Sun

Possible fashion aesthetic:

(sis you won, the images you got istg he is literally like this in person, he is so funny and cool like hahaha his energy is pure really)

Thank you so much for being so patient! Hope you enjoyed your reading love, do let me know if you liked it or not, it helps me improvise! Have a wonderful day ahead babie💗💗✨

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foxymoxynoona · 3 years ago

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I’ve been crazy busy so that’s why I disappeared but STILL I can’t believe Amended it’s over. (pss, foxy, this is the moment in which you announce the second book!😁). Okay epilogue is yet to come, but even the word “epilogue” is hitting hard😭. I don’t even know what to say, except that I fucking ADORE how everything came full circle in the end but still in a realistic way, not a “happy ever after and every problem has suddenly disappeared” kind of way.

This chapter was so overwhelming oh my god so many things happened. THE ADOPTION!! THE NAME CHANGE FOR LILY AND EZRA!!! I’m not crying you are. I still remember when the chapter about the prenup came out and they were still in the “enemies zone” and LOOK AT THEM NOW😭😭😭. (Yes, now I’ll go down memory lane every chance I get).

Again, as much as people chance and a second chance is always offered and blah blah blah, Landon having a baby still leaves me bitter. Bro, congrats, but yikes poor baby if you don’t REALLY get your shit together, like with external and professional help. And it’s one of the realest things in the world and also the one that I probably hate the most: when someone who was mean to you “tries harder” or “is better” for someone else. At that point you either think “good for you” or “fuck off why just now”.

AAAAND ALL THE TALK ABOUT BELLA AND JK HAVING A BABY. We’re probably not going to get it in the epilogue, but maybe… some spin-offs?😏💰💰. They said they want a kid, not me😇.

Anyway, THANK YOU FOXY FOR BLESSING US WITH THIS MASTERPIECE!! I said it once and I’ll say it again: AMENDED DESERVES TO BE PUBLISHED! 👏🏻DESERVES👏🏻MORE👏🏻RECOGNITION👏🏻. (And me and 🌚 had this idea of printing it once it was over so we could make it our own personal bible, I’ll send pictures if that happens😂)

🌸

I'm really, really thrilled you've enjoyed the long journey and aren't ilke "wait I read all this time and for what? This sucks." It was a tough balance finding the right things to close off and the right things to leave kind of open, because we just are seeing this 16 month period of time for them but their lives and story go on. It was interesting for me as a learning process to see where "realistm" and "narrative relief" are in conflict --because narratively, it would have been nicer for Landon to deeply apologize and disappear, or for Colleen to change as a mother, etc. But the reality is people deal with these kinds of familiy ties all the time.

I really am so flattered at all of you who stuck by this story for SO LONG. It was not something that had been on the poll for which long stories I would do back then, because I just wanted to write it for mself and figured I'd just share in case anyone awnted to read it. And here we are, and I'm so warmed that so many of you loved these kids just as much as I did. So thanks for reading!!

The epilogue will be fun. The little spin off one-shots will be fun. And having time to chase the short stories that inspire me in the moment (as I finish up Meadow too) will also be lots of fun!!

#🌸anon #asks #amended

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dreamersscape · 3 years ago

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I was reminded of the word "boundless" the other day, and I think it's quite pertinent as a descriptor for Naruto's love. :D

That’s the way things are supposed to be – the connections between generations are supposed to be maintained and strengthened by the people left behind, like Iruka says in the early days of the show -

When someone passes away, it’s the end. His past and future, all the dreams he once had - they disappear along with him. This is true even if he dies honorably in battle, as so many have...all the ties that bind him to the living are severed. All but one, the most important of all: people. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers - the people who were important to him. And these people, the ones left behind, are joined together in a great circle by their shared memories of him. A circle of friendship, trust, and sacrifice that grows larger and stronger as time passes.

OH. I forgot about this quote. 😍🥺

Yeah, it's such a complicated, intricate situation Yamato and Kakashi will have to navigate. For Kakashi, he thinks he's undeserving of having a friend like Tenzo (or of having anyone's regard, as you said) and probably thinks he's the last person Yamato wants around right now (or maybe ever if he's smart), and yet wouldn't it be worse to "abandon" him further by not being there when he needs it? And he's acutely aware of how much he cares about Yamato and that just makes him more guilty, how selfish can he be when Yamato would probably be so much happier and better off not having Kakashi dragging him down-- (He was making so much progress with his estimation of hiw own self-worth, and he'll still get back to building on that, but this will most likely derail things for a bit.)

And then with Yamato, it should be great because he's lived his dream, literally! But now he'll be afraid that it was only a pipe dream, that he was the only one who would wish for it. How can he ask that of anyone, especially after he let everyone down by allowing himself to be captured and that led to so many losses among his allies. He desperately doesn't want to be alone anymore, but Kakashi's probably right to distance himself from 'someone like [him]'.

They want the world for each other, but each think they aren't the right person to be a part of that. 😭

Kakashi doesn’t condone or excuse anything Obito did - he fully understands that Obito caused unforgivable harm to untold numbers of people (himself included) - but he still feels things for him, and he can’t do anything about that, and even if he’s accepted that fact on a private level, I still don’t think he’s entirely comfortable feeling those things in the context of Yamato’s situation.

Exactly. I'm so glad you get me, Pan!

I just had a very hurtful thought about this of which I am very sorry for in advance. How awful would it be for Kakashi, who's keeping all his feelings about Obito locked deep down inside and doing all he can not to let on anything to Yamato, if while Yamato's getting filled in, Naruto jumps in like, "Yeah, but Obito changed! And he really helped us out in the end, right Kakashi-sensei?" etc., etc., before Naruto knows what Yamato went through partially by Obito's hands? Hopefully Naruto and Yamato have different debriefings, or Naruto's busy having his arm examined during Yamato's 'cause YIKES.

Kakashi has never considered himself an appropriate recipient of anyone’s respect or devotion to begin with (“you should find someone more suitable”/“then drop the ‘senpai’”), but with Yamato, especially, I think Kakashi feels now that he’s lost whatever scrap of credibility/worthiness he ever had of being looked up to

Uh-huh. 😢

but I absolutely can see Yamato getting snappy about being treated like what happened to him was the result of something Kakashi “made” him do, like all the work he’s been doing for the last year was just him following orders and not something he also had a personal stake in.

Yep. 😢

(I feel so mean, thinking it's very likely they'll have so many "knots" to pick apart, but none of this is contrived miscommunication; it's things that they're textually struggling with!)

He doesn’t follow Kakashi because he’s obligated to do so; he does it because he believes Kakashi is worthy of being followed. It’s not that Yamato doesn’t feel a debt of gratitude to Kakashi; he does, and he probably always will, but Yamato also believes in the same mission as Kakashi, cares about the same children, wants to protect the same future. Maybe, when he accepted that first substitute assignment from Tsunade, he did so in the spirit or following orders or doing Kakashi a favor, but at this point, Yamato is just as invested in the struggle as everyone else. He cares about the kids just as much, and he’s just as committed to saving the world. He ended up getting captured because he was willing to give his life for the cause, and he deserves to have that decision honored as the true sacrifice it is, instead of having it minimized as an artificial choice that he was compelled or deceived into making.

THIS!!!

I think, deep down, it’s hard for Kakashi to conceive of the idea that someone would choose to follow him for valid reasons. He feels like everyone who loves and respects him does so because they’re laboring under a false impression of his goodness....[Yamato] doesn’t want to be limited to being a tool in someone else’s hands (especially not a tool for Kakashi’s continued self-flagellation), and he doesn’t want his friendship with Kakashi to be limited to what it was back when Yamato was an enslaved child. He needs Kakashi to give him credit for his own decisions, which means he needs Kakashi to let go of the guilt and absorb the message ‘i have not been coerced into caring about you!’ Tenzo, in his capacity as Kakashi’s comrade, has never been confused about what kind of person Kakashi is. He hasn’t been taken advantage of or manipulated into doing something he didn’t want to do. He has never been a tool for Kakashi to use; he has always been Kakashi’s willing partner. His loyalty to Kakashi is not unquestioning obedience or obligatory repayment of a debt; it’s justified respect, genuine admiration, and more-than-earned affection.

*AGGRESSIVE BOBBLEHEAD NODDING*

So this is a little silly, but all I'm picturing now is:

Kakashi: I'm sorry, I won't call you that anymore if that's what you want. I know I've been a pretty terrible teammate, you've had to put up with more than you should've--

Yamato (mortified to have yelled at Kakashi): No no no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! It's an honor to have had you as my captain, in comparison I'm just a pale imitation--

Kakashi: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what did you just say about yourself? C'mon, Yamato, I know you're not dumb enough to really believe--

Yamato: No, YOU'RE dumb! Just let someone care about you for once in your life, will you?!

Kakashi: .............................................................wha???

Yamato: I gotta go. *melts into the nearest wall*

---

Kakashi: --and then he just left! I thought it'd just upset him more if I went after him, but I'm not sure how I hurt him in the first place. I was trying to cheer him up. What am I missing here, Gai?

Gai: Absolutely nothing, my dear rival! I am as lost as you are! *gives a hearty thumbs-up* But I do have the perfect solution to help a friend in need. Two words: Dumpling. Shop.

Kakashi: Ah... hm. (his shoulders slump.) I think you may be right. It's come to this. (determined and not-at-all reluctant or careless:) He's more than worth it.

---

[Yamato walking along aimlessly, wool-gathering.]

Kakashi (dropping out of nowhere from a tree): Hey, do you wanna go get dumplings with me? It doesn't have to be dumplings... (I really rather it not be honestly...)

(I've never actually seen Frozen as it happens, can you tell?)

So yeah, that was really rough even for a lighthearted sketch of a conversation, but I can imagine them talking past each other similarly, just with better, more in-character dialogue. And really, having it affirmed that the other one wants their company, wants to spend time with them, wants them around--that would help! And then they can untangle their misunderstandings and misplaced guilt over a nice meal. Win-win!

I do think they’ll eventually figure this all out and it will be okay. But I 100% understand why we might see Yamato chafing at being addressed in a certain way prior to all these knots being untangled.

I like that we keep reiterating this, but like, confidently! I truly have zero doubt they'll work it out and come out stronger and closer than ever, because they're too important to each other to not put in the work. They love each other and they're gonna show the other person they are lovable too. :) :) :) (Awkwardly worded, but I bet you know what I mean.) Perhaps that's why my brain so eagerly goes looking for the angstiest parts of this situation, 'cause it's reassured that it'll be okay in the long run. (And also because it craves that sweet sweet emotional hurt/comfort mineral. 😂)

#because yamato is back to being 'tenzo' now; and kakashi has never tried to stay in touch with 'tenzo' before#'yamato' had something essential to offer#and now that the mission he was assigned is over#'yamato' doesn't exist anymore#'yamato' was just a code name. it was a pretend identity.#this entire year with team 7 was a temporary assignment#and yamato knew that#but what he didn't know was how desperately he wouldn't want it to end#living outside the anbu was like a dream; and yamato doesn't want to wake up#we know that. we SAW that. canonically - what he wants most in the world is to stay right where he is#his tsukuyomi dream is to hear kakashi say 'this is where you truly belong'#and it makes sense that yamato isn't sure if 'tenzo' can achieve that#because kakashi always let 'tenzo' drift away before#and of course that had everything to do with kakashi's own personal issues and nothing to do with yamato#but how is yamato supposed to know that?#i just think...yamato is more afraid of going home than of anything that ever happened to him during the war#because nothing can possibly be worse that being that alone again

I am SO relieved you understood what I was trying to convey! Also, the bolded bit? The other thing he doesn't know is how much Kakashi didn't want it to end either!

I'm sorry. We can cry together? I will be.

[@dreamersscape I started a new thread because our old post was getting so long - link to the previous post is here, just to keep this conversation coherent!]

“raw love and affection” > That’s it exactly. The perfect descriptor. Untempered, unqualified, unconditional, unrestrained - Naruto’s love is just like his jutsu, a giant explosion that you can’t dodge or block, and the wielder is shouting and running straight at you the whole time he throws it right at your face XD You just can’t escape him. He’s gonna love you no matter who you are or what you’ve done or how fast you run away from him, which poor Sasuke has been figuring out for years (to his everlasting irritation, I’m sure). Kakashi needs people like that – like Gai, actually, who’s a little bit similar in the sense that he’s determined to be Kakashi’s friend no matter how much Kakashi resists. And I do love the fact that Naruto and Kakashi will be able to connect about Naruto’s parents now that the secret is out – it wasn’t possible before, and they’ve all been running a million miles an hour since Naruto found out, but eventually, once things calm down, it will such a good thing for both of them to complete that circuit. That’s the way things are supposed to be – the connections between generations are supposed to be maintained and strengthened by the people left behind, like Iruka says in the early days of the show -

When someone passes away, it’s the end. His past and future, all the dreams he once had - they disappear along with him. This is true even if he dies honorably in battle, as so many have…all the ties that bind him to the living are severed. All but one, the most important of all: people. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers - the people who were important to him. And these people, the ones left behind, are joined together in a great circle by their shared memories of him. A circle of friendship, trust, and sacrifice that grows larger and stronger as time passes.

It’s so good that Naruto and Kakashi are soon going to be in a space where they will be able to re-forge the links that were disrupted by a malicious system that wasn’t serving either of them.

Well, I don’t want to build it up like the show makes A Big Deal out of it

Oh, don’t worry. I was already expecting it to be the tiniest crumb they could possibly give us. But even crumbs will make me very happy, for these two! XD

But I think he might have doubts that Yamato would want/choose him as a source of help, given the circumstances of Yamato’s capture and torture?

THAT. Yamato getting captured taking care of Kakashi’s kids would have been complicated enough to navigate enough on its own, but the fact that the person who orchestrated all of it was Obito makes it a truly labyrinthine mess. The number of layers of guilt that Kakashi feels - not all of them rational or accurate, obviously, but in his mind they’re real - given all those things, of course he’s uncertain that Yamato would want his help. Kakashi’s internal blame calculator right now is like -

GUILTY [was weak. wanted companionship too much. let you share my burdens.] GUILTY [took advantage of your loyalty] GUILTY [put you in harm’s way] GUILTY [abandoned you to die] GUILTY [created the person who hurt you (by being the reason obito ‘died,’ by failing to save rin)] GUILTY [still love the person who hurt you] GUILTY [still grieving for the person who hurt you]

It’s complicated enough just handling the “i put you in this position and then didn’t even come to save you” level of things, but adding in the “my personal hero/most sacred, precious source of inspiration is the one who did this to you” level makes it practically impossible to manage, especially when Kakashi is actively experiencing (natural and out of his control) feelings of grief for the person who caused Yamato’s entire ordeal. Kakashi doesn’t condone or excuse anything Obito did - he fully understands that Obito caused unforgivable harm to untold numbers of people (himself included) - but he still feels things for him, and he can’t do anything about that, and even if he’s accepted that fact on a private level, I still don’t think he’s entirely comfortable feeling those things in the context of Yamato’s situation.

It’s like what you said about him “wanting to be very careful not to ‘force’ his company on Yamato” - I think he feels like Yamato has every right to reassess or step back from their relationship, given everything that’s happened. Kakashi may recognize on some level that he can’t control his own feelings about the Obito situation, but he also doesn’t think Yamato should have to be understanding of that. Kakashi has never considered himself an appropriate recipient of anyone’s respect or devotion to begin with (“you should find someone more suitable”/“then drop the ‘senpai’”), but with Yamato, especially, I think Kakashi feels now that he’s lost whatever scrap of credibility/worthiness he ever had of being looked up to, and he would be very careful not to put Yamato in a position where Yamato feels pressure to accommodate or defer to Kakashi for any reason, whether it be because of the difference in their ranks or the potential lingering feelings of gratitude/debt that Yamato might still associate with the things Kakashi has done for him in the past. (But of course, like you said, Yamato would probably interpret this as “reticence,” or deliberate distancing, and obviously that would heighten his pre-existing anxieties, which would just complicate things further.)

…it wouldn’t be about the name itself, it’d be Yamato trying to find a way to express that he doesn’t want Kakashi to keep seeing him as the “Tenzo” he’s always known…as his subordinate “Tenzo” that he has to “take care of”…

THIS. I totally agree with you - I can definitely see Yamato getting frustrated at being (unintentionally) put into a box by Kakashi, because even though Kakashi absolutely does not mean it this way, the fact of the matter is that Kakashi taking on all of the responsibility/guilt/blame about this situation disregards the active choices and sacrifices Yamato made. It’s almost…disrespectful. Dismissive of Yamato’s agency. And of course we as the audience know that it isn’t intended that way at all - Kakashi respects Yamato more than anyone in the world, and his reaction comes from a very real place where he legitimately feels that he’s been taking advantage of unearned/undeserved loyalty and devotion - but I absolutely can see Yamato getting snappy about being treated like what happened to him was the result of something Kakashi “made” him do, like all the work he’s been doing for the last year was just him following orders and not something he also had a personal stake in.

The whole point of Yamato escaping the Foundation (and even the ANBU) was that he wouldn’t have to be anybody’s lapdog anymore. It wasn’t about him trading one master for another. He doesn’t follow Kakashi because he’s obligated to do so; he does it because he believes Kakashi is worthy of being followed. It’s not that Yamato doesn’t feel a debt of gratitude to Kakashi; he does, and he probably always will, but Yamato also believes in the same mission as Kakashi, cares about the same children, wants to protect the same future. Maybe, when he accepted that first substitute assignment from Tsunade, he did so in the spirit or following orders or doing Kakashi a favor, but at this point, Yamato is just as invested in the struggle as everyone else. He cares about the kids just as much, and he’s just as committed to saving the world. He ended up getting captured because he was willing to give his life for the cause, and he deserves to have that decision honored as the true sacrifice it is, instead of having it minimized as an artificial choice that he was compelled or deceived into making.

I think, deep down, it’s hard for Kakashi to conceive of the idea that someone would choose to follow him for valid reasons. He feels like everyone who loves and respects him does so because they’re laboring under a false impression of his goodness. But for Yamato, hearing this is essentially tantamount to being told that he’s still someone else’s thrall. Like he isn’t making his own informed decisions about who to follow or who to serve, like he’s still being led around by the nose by someone who can make him do anything they want, like someone else (however benevolent) still has him under their thumb. I’m sure he knows Kakashi doesn’t mean it that way, but I also can imagine, in a moment of upset, that he would react poorly to being portrayed like that - at the implication, however unintentional, that he isn’t truly free.

It’s like you said - Yamato doesn’t want Kakashi to keep thinking of him as a prisoner who needs to be rescued. He doesn’t want to be limited to being a tool in someone else’s hands (especially not a tool for Kakashi’s continued self-flagellation), and he doesn’t want his friendship with Kakashi to be limited to what it was back when Yamato was an enslaved child. He needs Kakashi to give him credit for his own decisions, which means he needs Kakashi to let go of the guilt and absorb the message ‘i have not been coerced into caring about you!’ Tenzo, in his capacity as Kakashi’s comrade, has never been confused about what kind of person Kakashi is. He hasn’t been taken advantage of or manipulated into doing something he didn’t want to do. He has never been a tool for Kakashi to use; he has always been Kakashi’s willing partner. His loyalty to Kakashi is not unquestioning obedience or obligatory repayment of a debt; it’s justified respect, genuine admiration, and more-than-earned affection. All Yamato did during the war was take the same risks that Kakashi himself has taken on Yamato’s behalf countless times, and if Kakashi can’t accept the fact that Yamato took those risks willingly - if Tenzo can only be “Tenzo, Kakashi’s charge” instead of “Tenzo, a true equal” - then maybe it’s time to leave that old identity behind entirely.

He doesn’t need to be “Yamato” to Kakashi, but he might be unconsciously seeking reassurance Kakashi still wants “Yamato” around.

Ohh, this…I’m… 😭😭😭

#panharmonium #yamato #kakashi hatake #kakashi 'n' tenzo #naruto

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