#be prepared to think edgeworth is being a dick for no reason (he has a reason but its bad) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thefandomcassandra · 11 months ago

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hallowed be thy unknown Ch2: Haunted Turnabout 2: Bugloss, Baby's Breath, and Lavender

Waking up for a second time in a holding cell in the metropolitan detention center was a markedly different experience than the first. Having slept instead of passing out meant that her body didn't hurt as much, even if her head ached. Crying a lot dehydrated her and she didn't drink anything but cocoa the day before. Maya rolled off the cot and fumbled for her phone. Thankfully, along with the wiretap and the autopsy report shoved in her sash, she hadn't dropped or broken it.

She has kept it in her grasp the whole time she was out, like a teddy-bear or some other comfort item.

"Battery is fine, from what I could see." Maya jumped and let out a strangled noise. She had forgotten Phoenix was here. Judging by how he was smirking at her, not even disguising his laughter, he was banking on that.

"Don't do that to me!" Maya rubbed at her eyes with the ball of her hand, the pressure alleviating the dull pain in the back of her eye sockets. "I almost threw my phone at you."

"Please don't do that. It's evidence."

Maya sighed through her teeth. "What time is it?"

"I...think it's maybe eight? Nine?" Phoenix hummed as he floated lazily on his back. His scarf brushed the ground, the ends phasing gently through the cell floor, making him look a little like some kind of strange mushroom. "The trial is supposed to start sometime around ten, so we have an hour at the least to prepare."

"Let me get a drink first." Maya shoved her phone in her sash and padded to the sink in the corner of her cell. After taking a few sips of water out of her cupped hands, she splashed her face and shook her hands dry. Then she started undoing her hair.

"Trying to look presentable?"

"I'd rather not look like a murderer when I have to argue that I'm not actually a murderer." Maya combed her fingers through the full length of her hair, wincing as she caught on a few snags. "Besides...it's soothing."

"I'll bet. All I ever had to do was gel mine." He did look like his hair was a simple affair. His morning routine must've been quick.

After a few minutes of combing her hair, Maya spoke up again. The water she drank did wonders to soothe her hoarse throat and lift her spirits. "So, let's prepare. What do I need to know?" Busy hands, busy mind. She was doing her best to not give herself space to sink into the mire of grief that was waiting to swallow her whole.

"General or specifics?"

"Start with general, then narrow it down." Putting her hair up was a time-consuming thing but it was a daily ritual she was used to. Any sense of normality helped right now. "What can I expect in a trial like this?"

"Well it's a murder trial. Probably open gallery, probably meant to be solved quickly, or that's what the prosecution is banking on."

"You mean Prosecutor Edgeworth? He's going to want this to be over with?" She sneered, deft hands pulling her hair up as she talked.

"Even Edgeworth doesn't want to be at court before noon. Preparing for a trial is an hour or more's worth of effort and ten am is a real early hour, let alone nine or eight. Are you a morning person?" Phoenix looked over at Maya, who rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, uh, trial...trial...trial..."

Maya finished working on her hair and leaned back a bit, resting on her hands. "Open court, early trial, in and out."

"Man I miss burgers," Phoenix whined.

"Shut up about burgers." Her stomach growled at the thought.

"Trial, right..." He seemed to find his train of thought from before and hopped back on. "You're looking to appeal to the judge using evidence and facts to get the ruling you want. Pointing out contradictions in testimonies, connecting evidence to each other, and arguing your point using logic is the whole deal."

That sounded easy enough. Maya was halfway decent at puzzles so it couldn't be any more difficult than doing a word-search or sudoku. Just...publicly. In front of people who wanted her to go to jail for life. No pressure.

"Sometimes you want to get a little...creative to prove a point, but that's the basis of a trial. You just need to know the law, the evidence, and the flaw in the witness' testimony."

"Creative? Like lying?" Wasn't lying in court a crime? She was pretty sure that was perjury.

"No, no!" Phoenix laughed. "More like...coloring outside the lines? Suggesting the sky is red to prove it was sunset, not midday. Nothing quite like lying."

"I don't know exactly what you're suggesting but I'll bet I can figure it out as I go."

"Yeah, it won't be that hard. It's a little like improv."

"I know nothing about theater."

"Nobody's perfect."

"Specifics, then, since I think we've covered the basics of this case." Maya quickly changed the subject.

"One last bit of general knowledge: there's a chance we will get more than one day out of this trial. Barring the occasional recess, we have three days and a handful of hours to make our case. We have to be deft with our arguments. No messing about, even if you want to bite the witness' head off." Was he warning her about April May? Did he think she was incapable of controlling herself?

Considering how aggressive she got with Prosecutor Edgeworth in questioning, that was actually a fair worry to have.

"Now...specifics. You have the autopsy report still, right?"

"Right." Maya fished it out of her sash and unfolded it. Mia's name, age, and death stared her in the face in dark black print. She winced and folded it back up again, shoving it out of sight once more.

"The wiretap and your phone are our secret weapons. Don't pull them out or mention them unless we're in a bind and have nothing else." Phoenix looked surprisingly stern about that. "But the autopsy report is a piece of evidence we have access to immediately. That's free game. Use that."

"Use it how?"

"Odds are that during the trial, more evidence will be added to the court record over time. That evidence is, in accordance with evidence law, legal and fair use for both sides. The autopsy report is one of those pieces of evidence. They'll likely add a floorplan of the office as well, if only for tracking the victim and killers movements. Also anything found at the scene of the crime that might be relevant, like the receipt with your name on it or the glass from the light stand. We have to start building our defense based around that."

"We know who actually did it though!" Maya reached for her phone.

Phoenix's smile strained, twisted with sorrow, and Maya stayed her hand. "We can't prove it. Not yet." He was right and she hated it. "But we can, if we're careful and smart, prove May tapped the office. That will discredit her as a witness and buy us another day to gather evidence and testimony. Maybe we can even get her to give up her boss."

Maya's fingernails bit into her palms as she squeezed her hands into tight fists. "Okay. Okay. And all I need to do is listen to what you tell me and argue like my life depends on it?"

"Not quite 'argue', but yes. Like your life depends on it, because it does." Phoenix gave Maya one last lazy grin and righted himself in midair. "You got this, Maya. Remember what I told you."

"Imitate Mia." She took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled slowly. "Right. Thanks, Phoenix."

"You're welcome! Now, chin up, here comes the cavalry!" Maya stood up as he said that and turned to face the door to her holding cell. Two of the faceless cops were there to take her to the courthouse, fighting the stubborn cell lock.

When the door opened, one of them walked in while the other remained outside her cell. "Miss Maya Fey," one of them called out. Maya stepped forward and offered her hands. The officer cuffed her and motioned for her to follow them.

"Have you eaten?" The cop in front of her asked. Maya frowned, unsure of what they were after.

"No?"

"There should be snacks in the defendant's lobby. Detective Gumshoe asked we prepare them for you."

Oh. "That's...kind."

"That's Detective Gumshoe for you!" The cop sounded delighted just talking about the large man. "He's a real sweetheart. One time he brought a baker's dozen variety box for everyone working a rough shift. I almost cried."

"I did cry," the other cop added.

"Detective Gumshoe sure seems like he's beloved." Phoenix whistled in awe. He was walking in lockstep with Maya, half-in half-out the wall next to her. "That's something to consider. Nice of Lana to let us borrow such a good man."

Detective Gumshoe...he was one of the more kind people Maya had to interact with yesterday. If it wasn't for the fact that he seemed to worship the ground Prosecutor Edgeworth walked on, he might even be her friend. But he did, so he wasn't.

The rest of the walk to Defendant Lobby No.1 was moderately silent. Even Phoenix was deep in thought, worrying the ends of his scarf as he floated. Maya, too, was thinking a lot.

Thoughts about evidence and arguing and who really killed Mia. Thoughts about Prosecutor Edgeworth and April May. Thoughts about all the people in the gallery who would be watching her, judging her. The short, chubby girl in weird traditional clothing who was being accused of killing her sister. They'd think she deserved the verdict being handed to her, that she was a weird little cultist or something.

Maya took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled. Be like Mia. What would Mia do? She'd ignore the whispers. She'd hold her head high.

The inside of the defendant's lobby was nice and, like the cops had said, there were snacks. Bottled water, a bagel with a single serving of cream cheese, and a small orange. A halfway decent breakfast, actually.

"That's really nice of Gumshoe, actually. Wow."

Maya didn't bother responding, just immediately smeared the inside of the bagel with cream cheese using a plastic knife from a package of disposable utensils. Then she took a huge bite and washed it down with water. It was the best bagel she'd ever had.

It sat a little heavy in her stomach but that might've been her nerves.

"Remember: be professional. Be like Mia. Don't talk out of turn without objecting first. Don't push too hard. Watch your language and your tone. Don't get too emotional." Phoenix coached from where he was floating near the door to the courtroom.

Maya took another bite out of the bagel, her handcuffs rattling a bit as she did. "Be calm, be like Mia. Be calm, be like Mia." She accidentally inhaled bagel crumbs and coughed for a couple moments. Water fixed the issue but it put her off food for a second so she idly peeled the orange to kill time.

"Please don't die." Maya had the feeling Phoenix wasn't joking when he asked her that.

"No dying before my trial." She ate an orange slice. Juice dripped down her fingers and she frowned. "I wonder if I can clean my hands before I enter..."

"Wipe down using the water and a napkin before your fingers get sticky," Phoenix advised.

Maya scrubbed her fingers clean. With a full stomach, she felt better about her chances. Now she just needed to get the cuffs off and she'd feel way better about her chances.

Being uncuffed did nothing to calm Maya's nerves, it turned out. She just had full range of motion with her arms now. Yay.

The courtroom looked enormous and intimidating from her place on the witness stand. The judge—an older bearded man with a stern face—was sitting feet above everyone else, peering down his nose at both benches and the witness stand. The gallery was filled with murmuring masses at about the same level as the judge. On either side of the witness stand, forming parentheticals when viewed from high-up, were the prosecution and defense's benches.

The only unoccupied parts of the courtroom were the defendant's seat and the defense's bench—both of which should be filled by Maya, but she was too busy sweating bullets at the stand. Well, actually, Phoenix was standing behind the defense's bench but he was visible only to Maya, so it looked empty to everyone else.

"Stating the case, checking to make sure both sides are ready, opening statement from the prosecution, then the first witness." Phoenix laid out the starting part of the trial for her as he stood at the ready. This was the most professional she'd ever seen him, his posture rigid, his face stern and a little unreadable, and his feet firmly on the ground. He was taking this seriously. She should too.

Opposite him, Prosecutor Edgeworth looked as clean-pressed and as cold as he was the day before. Nothing about him had changed and that made Maya a little frustrated.

Couldn't he at least pretend to feel guilty about pinning her with a murder charge? Even a little bit?

The judge banged his little hammer—gavel?—on his podium and the idle chatter of the gallery faded to silence. "Court is now in session for the trial of Maya Fey. Am I to understand that the defendant will be representing herself?" The judge's voice, while it did betray his age, was firm and carried well through the vaulted hall.

"The judge is 'Your Honor'," Phoenix supplied.

Maya straightened up and tilted her chin, trying her best to imitate Mia as she spoke. "Yes, Your Honor."

"Is there any reason why?"

Phoenix shrugged at her. "Can't hurt to be honest?"

"I was unable to find a lawyer willing to push for full acquittal and have been studying law in my spare time." It's not technically perjury, right? Only half of that statement was untrue.

Prosecutor Edgeworth snorted derisively. "Please. Do you really think that you can hold your own here? Let alone overturn the charges against you?"

"I believe that the truth will prevail. I didn't kill Mia. That is the truth." Maya didn't even need to pretend to be Mia then. The frustration she felt at being talked down to was enough to banish her nerves.

"Very well," the judge sighed and gestured for her to take her place at the bench, "Let us begin."

"The defense is ready," Phoenix offered.

Maya repeated with gusto. "The defense is ready, Your Honor."

"The prosecution is ready, Your Honor." Prosecutor Edgeworth was playing this by the books, it seemed.

"Your opening statement?" The judge prompted.

An opening statement, Maya remembered, was a way for the prosecution to summarize their case against the defendant. The cliffnotes version of all their paperwork, as it were. If they still used juries in trials, the opening statement would be the hook to entice the jurors' attention and sway their ruling.

"Your Honor, the defendant was found unconscious at the scene of the crime on the night of the murder. An eyewitness account places her there during the act, as the perpetrator and the prosecution has decisive evidence that points to her as well." Prosecutor Edgeworth tapped the stack of papers in his hand on his bench, settling them and putting them down as a show that he was done recounting the facts of the matter. "While she vehemently insists she is innocent, there is no doubt in our mind she is guilty of manslaughter, if not outright murder."

"A bold but understandable claim." He won over the judge easily, it seemed. Maya bit back a frown.

"Thank you, Your Honor." Prosecutor Edgeworth gave a little bow. It made Maya's blood boil. She wanted to clonk him on the back of the head with the Thinker. Asshole. "The prosecution calls its first witness, Detective Gumshoe, to the stand."

From beside her, Phoenix let out a held breath. "Listen closely. The court stenographer will provide you with typed versions of any and all witness testimonies as they occur but hearing how things are said are just as important as hearing what is being said."

Maya nodded and turned her attention away from smug-ass Prosecutor Edgeworth and to the enormous man taking to the witness stand.

"Witness, please state your name and occupation." Like the judge, Prosecutor Edgeworth spoke with authority and force. Maybe there was a trick to talking like that. Maybe she should ask Phoenix what it was.

"Dick Gumshoe, homicide detective for the local precinct, sir!" Detective Gumshoe looked tense, even as he saluted.

"Tell us about the investigation," Prosecutor Edgeworth commanded.

Detective Gumshoe nodded and began. "The victim, Miss Mia Fey, was found dead at about ten pm on the fifth. Her body was leanin' against the wall beneath the window of her office. She'd been struck once by a blunt object and that's what killed her."

"The murder weapon?"

"He's getting evidence added," Phoenix explained.

"This statue of the Thinker." Detective Gumshoe reached into his jacket pocket and pulled a labeled bag out. Inside was the murder weapon, the so-called 'statue'.

"It's been processed. See the label there?" Phoenix pointed at the laminated label on the bag. "That has the casefile, identification, time of recovery, verification date, and supplementary information on it. If we need to get a closer look, we can request to see it or I can just float over and take a peek so you don't have to put on gloves."

You probably would need gloves to handle evidence, wouldn't you.

Maya suddenly realized something, pulled the autopsy report out of her sash, and unfolded it, trying to smooth the creases out of it against the bench. This was going to be important soon enough.

"Now, continue your testimony." Prosecutor Edgeworth didn't even give Detective Gumshoe a second to rest, immediately demanding he keep talking. No wonder he was starved for praise. "You arrested the defendant at the scene, in spite of her being unconscious, correct? Explain yourself."

"Well, see, we had decisive evidence she did it, sir. That's why me and the boys clapped the unconscious defendant and dropped her in the center." Prosecutor Edgeworth raised a singular eyebrow. Detective Gumshoe swallowed and started to speak again, spurred on by whatever emotion that stirred in him. "I was one of the first to arrive on the scene. Got there about five minutes after the call came in. There was the body of the victim layin' there but so was the defendant. She was out cold and that was worryin' and all, but she was breathing. After checkin' she was good, we picked Miss Maya up. The whole reason we even grabbed her is coz the eyewitness said she did it, which is pretty damning. Anyway, I stayed behind while she was bein' processed so I could help with the investigation and found some hard evidence."

"Defense?" The judge turned to look at Maya. She straightened up and made direct eye-contact with him.

"Yes, Your Honor?"

"Your cross-examination?" Oh. He was prompting her. How kind.

"Of course. Thank you, Your Honor." Maya looked at the papers the stenographer handed her.

Each line of Detective Gumshoe's testimony was typed out with immaculate accuracy. Maya was impressed with the quality. Court stenographers were to be feared.

Still...Detective Gumshoe's testimony wasn't openly incorrect. Mia had been dead when the police arrived. Maya had already passed out, too, so she was unable to explain herself. April May said she did it so Detective Gumshoe was telling the truth by quoting her as the reason they arrested her.

She must've been making a face because Phoenix clicked his tongue in amusement. "Remember when I said sometimes you need to say the sky is red to prove the sun was setting?" Maya barely nodded at him but he seemed to pick up on it anyway. "This is similar. When you can't find an immediate problem with a testimony—like this one—press every statement. The witness is bound to slip up eventually, accidentally undoing their entire testimony with one misplaced word."

"Alright." Maya turned to face Detective Gumshoe, the transcript in her hand, and began her cross-examination by starting from the beginning.

"You said you arrived first on the scene, about five minutes after the police were called?" Maya locked eyes with the detective.

He gave her an asymmetrical and very sincere grin. "Well, yeah! The motto of the precinct this month is 'fast response'!"

"They've had less complaints, that's for sure," Phoenix noted.

"And the witness, April May, is the one who called you from her room in the Gatewater?" Maya wondered if he had any exploitable opinions about her.

"Yeah." The smile on Detective Gumshoe's face faltered a little, but didn't disappear entirely. "But you already knew that, didn't you, pal?"

"He's got you there."

"True." Maya swallowed a flash of shame and continued. "I just wanted to make sure of that fact."

"Please refrain from wasting the court's time with pointless questions," Prosecutor Edgeworth added. Maya's grip on the transcript tightened. She had to force herself to loosen her fist so she could read it again.

"Of course." Turning back to Detective Gumshoe, Maya scanned down the transcript a bit.

"Ask about why they arrested you, an unconscious minor." When Maya shot Phoenix an accusatory glare, he rolled his eyes. "I know, but maybe you can get an extra mile out of your age. No harm in trying."

"So you found a dead woman and an unconscious minor and simply arrested the latter?" Maya tried her best to sound neutral but she was pretty sure that she just came off as irritated.

"Objection!" Prosecutor Edgeworth shouted from across the court. The sound of his hand against the desk startled Maya and she dropped the transcript. "The defendant's age does not matter in this regard due to, quote, 'hard evidence', unquote, given to the investigative team on their way to the crime scene."

"Counter: your age means processing you for arrest should be handled differently than an adult."

"Objection!" Maya did her best to shout back with gusto. She felt a little silly. "As I am underage and not legally an adult, aren't there different ways to process my arrest?"

"Is that a concern, Miss Fey?" Prosecutor Edgeworth snidely asked. "Detention without notifying your guardian?"

Maya gritted her teeth and steadier herself. "No, Prosecutor Edgeworth. I am simply pointing out that, with regards to my arrest, I believe it was mishandled."

"Then the prosecutor's office will take that up with law enforcement at a later date. It has no bearing on this case or the charges against you." Cool as a cucumber, the prosecutor waved a hand at her, dismissing her concerns.

"Objection sustained," the judge banged his gavel and that was that.

Maya's cheeks were hot with embarrassment.

"Chin up. That was a long-shot anyway." Phoenix wrapped and unwrapped the end of his scarf around his hand as he thought. "Damning evidence is vague and Edgeworth called it 'hard evidence' before so I think Gumshoe is adjusting his wording on the stand. Try that."

"Detective Gumshoe, you arrested me due to an eyewitness account, correct?" Simple sentences meant she had less space to trip over her words. Direct and to the point would be better overall.

"Yeah?" Detective Gumshoe looked confused. To be fair, it was a strange start to a line of questioning but she had an idea on how to approach this.

"What made you and your, quote, 'boys', unquote, decide to blindly believe her? This so-called 'hard evidence'?" Pointed words, pointed questions. She was trying her best to find a chink in his armor.

"Well, like you said Miss Maya: we had hard evidence."

"There we go." Phoenix was grinning. "Assume the evidence was the testimony. That will discredit him on that front."

It felt bad to attack Detective Gumshoe like this but...life or death. Her life or death. "In what world is what some pink voyeur's opinion considered 'hard evidence'?"

"Whoops. Watch how you say stuff."

"Hey!" Detective Gumshoe frowned at her, upset either by her choice of words or her accusation. "When did I say Miss May's statement was the 'hard evidence'?"

"You certainly didn't say what 'hard evidence' you did have." Prosecutor Edgeworth wagged his pointer finger at the detective. "It's not a stretch to assume you meant her statement as opposed to anything else."

"W-well yeah, no!" Detective Gumshoe backpedaled. "That's not what I meant though! Miss May's testimony is a whole different thing! The evidence is, uh..." He rifled through his pockets again and pulled out another evidence bag—smaller and flat. "Here we go!"

"There it is." Phoenix's expression became grim. He stared at the new evidence.

"What is this?" The judge asked.

"This is the 'hard evidence' that I said called for Miss Maya's arrest. It's got her name on it in the victim's blood." He sounded so proud of himself.

Across the courtroom, Prosecutor Edgeworth looked smug and satisfied. It took everything Maya had to not gnash her teeth and scream in frustration.

"...how would she have even had time to write your name?" That...was a good question. She just had to find an opening.

"Detective!" Detective Gumshoe jumped to attention. "Testify to the acquisition of this evidence."

"Yes sir!" Once again, the detective began his testimony. Hopefully this one would be easier to disprove. "The blood is a positive match to the victims. In addition, we found blood under the fingernail of her right index finger. This points to her having written the name of her killer! That is, unfortunately, the defendant."

"Mia is right-handed so asking about the finger would be pointless because they'd assume anyways. We can't contest the blood test because it is a positive match. But why would the killer try and frame you?"

"You may now cross-examine the witness," the judge prompted. Maya gave him a polite half-bow and quickly scanned the new transcript handed to her. She was steadily accruing a pile of papers. It made her wish for a manilla folder or some kind of binder to hold them all.

"Detective, you said that the v— that Mia wrote my name on this paper in her own blood." Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. "What makes you think that the name she wrote down is that of her killer?"

"Well isn't that how it always goes?"

The courtroom fell silent. Even Phoenix, who had been rather laid back to this point, looked befuddled. "Does - does he think that this is a movie?"

"Detective Gumshoe," Prosecutor Edgeworth spoke through his teeth, low and controlled, "You're telling us that you not only based your arrest on a singular witness but also a piece of evidence that is more common in fiction than in real life?"

To his credit, the detective did seem to realize he was being chastised. He flinched and began fiddling with the lining of his jacket, averting his eyes away from the prosecutor's bench. "Well, I mean, uh...why else would she have written it? It's her blood, usin' her finger, on a piece of paper she had lyin' around in her office and all. Who else could've done it?"

"The killer perhaps?" Maya tried to keep her indignation from showing. It wasn't his fault he watched too many action-and-or-mystery films.

"Right, right, the autopsy report. That's a huge contradiction!" Phoenix almost lifted off the ground with excitement. Maya nodded and turned back to Detective Gumshoe.

"You say that Mia wrote my name down with her own blood to prove I was the killer, correct?" How to go about wording this. What would Mia say?

"Yeah. In movies, victims write their killer's names down all the time."

"That's clearly impossible!" It felt good to have an excuse to yell in court. It felt good to have an excuse to yell in general. "According to the autopsy report I was given, her recorded cause of death was: blunt force trauma, instentaneous." Detective Gumshoe stared at her, confused. Time to deliver the final blow. "There's no way that she could have written my name in her own blood if she died instantly!"

Phoenix whooped from next to her. "There we go! That's a wonderful contradiction you've found! That should throw the prosecution off their game."

And yet...Prosecutor Edgeworth seemed unbothered by her accusation. In fact, he seemed also amused. He chuckled and waggled his finger at Maya. "Aren't you getting ahead of yourself Miss Fey?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When did you get this autopsy report of yours?"

Why was he asking that? What did the time she got the report even matter? An autopsy report was an autopsy report! It was a record. You don't just change records!

"Yesterday, during my investigation." If he was surprised she was allowed to investigate despite being under arrest, he didn't show it.

Instead, he just laughed and clucked his tongue at her. "Now, now, Miss Fey. I'm afraid that information you have is out of date."

"What?" Maya looked over at Phoenix. He shrugged at her, as confused as she was.

"On my orders, the coroners inspected the victim again and we have more accurate information about her death. As it is: she did not die instantaneously. There is a possibility that she was alive for a few minutes after she was struck, giving her plenty of time to write down her killer's name for the authorities to find." Prosecutor Edgeworth produced the new autopsy report. A copy of it was handed to Maya.

She seethed as she stared at the new information, the paper crumpling in her grip.

Victim: Mia Fey (27, Female) Time of Death: 9/5 at 9:00PM Cause: Single blunt force trauma. May have lived for a few minutes after being hit.

May have lived for a few minutes after being hit. May have lived for a few minutes. Well wasn't that convenient.

"That's...underhanded." Phoenix frowned at Prosecutor Edgeworth. He seemed more bothered at his tactics than the actual fact of the matter. "It's not unheard of for an updated autopsy report to be requested, but usually it's with good reason. I don't know what reason Edgeworth might have had for requesting a re-examination but it's certainly put our one good point out to pasture. I guess we can only wait to tear into May, right?"

"Right..." Maya hissed through her teeth.

"Do you still believe you have a leg to stand on with regards to her dying message, Miss Fey, or do the facts no longer support your supposition?" Prosecutor Edgeworth smirked at her from across the courtroom. "Do we need to continue to bother the detective or shall we let him remove himself from the stand now that he's said his piece?"

"I don't think we should put poor Gumshoe through any more. He looks like he's going to cry." True to Phoenix's word, the detective was hunched over, his eyes shining as he looked at the floor. "Let's let this go for now."

"I hate him," Maya muttered. She took a deep breath and straightened up, then exhaled. "Your Honor, I am done with my cross-examination of this witness."

Prosecutor Edgeworth bowed to the judge and the gallery. "Thank you, Miss Fey. The prosecution will now call its second witness to the stand."

April May. Maya was not looking forward to seeing her again.

Detective Gumshoe left the stand and went to stand somewhere on the side of the prosecution while one of the bailiffs walked April May into the courtroom. The gallery erupted in noise. The judge banged his gavel in an attempt to wrangle everyone into silence.

"Order! Order!"

Maya glared daggers at April May, whose sweet perfume permeated the courtroom long before she did. The woman, however, paid Maya no mind and just leaned forward so her shirt showed off more of her cleavage while she winked at the judge.

"The witness will refrain from wanton winking." The judge scolded as he banged his gavel again, trying to quell the gallery. Maya suddenly had so much respect for the old man. He wasn't entertaining her nonsense.

"Witness, your name and occupation?" Prosecutor Edgeworth prompted.

April May pursed her lips, then spoke as if she had to dig deep to remember anything important. "April May. I'm a professional."

Phoenix grimaced. "A professional what? Liar? Seductress?"

"You claim to have witnessed the crime and can identify the killer, correct?" Like the judge, Prosecutor Edgeworth was not rising to her bait. Maya was less impressed by his stoicism. She would have paid money to see him trip ass over teakettle because April May decided she wanted to get her claws in him.

"Uh, yeah?" April May pressed a manicured finger to her lips as she thought. "I was in my hotel room at the time, but I saw everything. Obviously it was the defendant, right?"

"Hey!" Maya wanted to tear her a new one but Phoenix stopped her before she could continue.

"Don't. Wait for cross-examination. If we misstep you might be found in contempt of court and your defense will be thrown out." Maya took a deep breath at his insistence and straightened herself up. "Remember: we have the wiretap, we have the recording of your call with Mia. We can find a contradiction in her testimony easier than Gumshoe's because we know she's lying."

"What, am I wrong, little miss killer?" April May sneered at Maya, then went back to making doe-eyes at Prosecutor Edgeworth. "I'd recognize her anywhere! Even at the distance I was at. I could tell it was her as clear as day, Mister Prosecutor."

"Your testimony then, Miss May." For the first time since this trial started, Maya was glad that Prosecutor Edgeworth was curt. It meant that April May wasn't going to get away with much.

"Okay!" April May leaned forward again and began to speak. "So at nine pm that night I was looking out my hotel room window. The view is super pretty up there, you know? Across the street I saw one of the rooms was lit up and the silhouette of someone was in it. Two someones, really. There was this person with long hair being attacked by the defendant. The lady dodged to the right and tried to run but she couldn't escape. The little killer smacked her on the head and she slumped out of sight and never got again, I promise. That's when I called the cops, coz I'm such a good citizen and all..." She leaned over the witness stand and kicked her leg up, staring piteously up at the judge, who was unmoved by her brazen display.

"What a crock." Phoenix was immediately unhappy with April May's testimony, not that Maya was any happier. "Between her way of saying what she saw and her supposed luck in noticing something going down across the street, it's not as if we don't have a lot of places to pick apart. The important thing though...that's her description of you. When we were in her hotel room, how good of a view did she have of the office window?"

"Not a very good one," Maya muttered. "She shouldn't have been...able...to notice...details..." That was what was important.

"As you can see," Prosecutor Edgeworth was saying, a smug air about him, "airtight proof that the defendant is the one who assaulted the victim. The prosecution rests, Your Honor."

"Well," the judge mused, "That certainly is a rather decisive testimony, like the detective said."

"The prosecution did not want to waste the court's time, Your Honor. That is why we brought forward Miss April May so soon." What was Prosecutor Edgeworth even playing at? Did he expect her to just roll over?

"Well, let's start pushing."

Maya grinned at April May as she was handed a transcript of her testimony. "My cross-examination, Your Honor?"

"Is that truly necessary?" She glared at Prosecutor Edgeworth as he wagged a finger at her, almost scolding her. "I am well aware of your sister's...proclivity for dragging a case out long past its prime. Have you also learned that cowardly tactic?"

What was he on about?

"He's hoping to intimidate you into stepping back." Phoenix seemed upset by this. "I don't know why he had to bring Mia into it though."

Jokes on him. "It is my right, as the defense, to cross-examine every witness, right?"

"That's correct." The judge was on her side here.

"I am exercising that right and nothing the prosecution could say will dissuade me." Maya sneered at Prosecutor Edgeworth, all teeth and malice. "Unless he is worried I might uncover inconsistencies in Miss May's testimony?"

"By all means," Prosecutor Edgeworth bowed at her, his sarcasm obvious, "examine away Miss Fey."

"You may begin, defense."

Maya turned her ire to April May and immediately found the part of her testimony that felt the weakest. "April May, you said that you saw...Mia and myself in the office that night from your hotel room, right?"

"Yep." She popped the end of her word, idly examining her nails. If she was hoping the cold shoulder might make Maya back off, she was wrong.

"I visited your hotel room yesterday to see how good of a view you might have had. While you can see the office without issue, I do think you couldn't have been able to identify myself or Mia at that distance, let alone if we were backlit."

"Oh?" That got April May's attention. Her pupils narrowed and she bared her teeth at Maya. "Maybe you should get your eyes checked, little killer. I could see perfectly well. Your sister was this slender lady with long hair and you were short and kinda fat. Hard to miss."

Phoenix frowned. "Why did she choose your silhouette to pick on?"

"Was that all you noticed about my sister and I? Our height and build?" Maya had a vague idea what was bothering Phoenix but she wanted to make April May do all the heavy lifting.

"Aside from you fighting, isn't that all that matters? You're not memorable." Well that was a blatant lie.

Maya smirked. Got her. "I think you're wrong, April May. Any other person wouldn't have been focused on how short or fat I was. The first thing most people notice about me is my clothes." She stood in a way that showed the judge her traditional clothing.

"Your clothes are distinctive," the judge nodded at her. "Where are they from?"

"Why does it matter?" April May interjected. She was unhappy about losing control of the narrative but that didn't matter. Maya had already started chipping apart her cutesy persona.

"I'm from a small mountain village called Kurain. We're pretty traditional like this, though we've recently had more modern touches to our homes like phones and televisions."

"And how, pray tell, does any of this have to do with Miss May's testimony or its accuracy?" Prosecutor Edgeworth seemed somewhere between bored and irritated.

"If she can't be trusted with details, how can we be certain she saw everything clearly?!" Maya was riding the high of the judge's approval a little.

"I just didn't think that all those trifling little details even mattered!" April May pouted and batted her eyelashes at Prosecutor Edgeworth. He seemed unmoved. "I saw all of them, of course, but if you need them in my testimony I can put them back in, like how I saw the defendant kill her only sister with that clock."

"Oh!" Phoenix leaned forward across the bench. "Wait! Isn't it..." He walked to where the Thinker was being held and read the label. "Yeah! It's still marked as a statue! Maya, object to her statement. Use the transcript where Gumshoe added the evidence in."

The wiretap. Maya leaned forward and slammed her hands on the bench as hard as she could. "Objection!"

April May, Prosecutor Edgeworth, and the judge looked at her in confusion.

"April May, you said that the murder weapon was a clock, correct?" Maya shuffled through the pages of the transcript until she found the part she was looking for.

"Uh, yeah?" April May seemed unconcerned.

Maya smirked. "However, there's no way you should know that. The Thinker was submitted as a statue, not a clock."

April May hissed, not unlike an angry cat. "Wh-what do you mean?!"

"April May, there is no way you should logically know that this heavy object is a clock." Maya gestured to the evidence in its little bag. "So why did you?"

"Uh, um...I heard it, that's right!" She was grasping at straws. "It says the time when you turn its head, right?"

"True, if the clock wasn't hollow right now." Phoenix was grinning with Maya, his eyes focused on April May as if he was a predator watching his prey. "Keep going. You've got her."

"While it is a clock, I doubt you'd be able to hear it from where your hotel room is. Also, it's not as if the clock was working that night."

"Objection! How would you know it was a clock, Miss Fey?" Edgeworth leaned forward as he asked, clearly unhappy with how out of hand things had gotten. "You were in Kurain until the day of the murder, correct? That item was a gift given to the victim but a few days before she was killed."

"Now it's time for the phone call." Phoenix seemed unbothered by the pushback. "You can prove your knowledge and disprove May's claim at the same time."

"My sister called me the day of, remember? She asked me to take care of the clock, which she had emptied of its mechanical parts."

"Are we supposed to take you at your word?" Prosecutor Edgeworth sneered at her.

"I don't expect you to." Time to put him in his place. "That's why I have proof."

As Prosecutor Edgeworth staggered from the force of her words, the gallery erupted into noise. The judge banged his gavel. "Order! Order in the court! What do you mean by this, defense?"

"The police confiscated my phone when they placed me in the detention center. While they had it, they checked my call history as well as my messages. What they didn't check was my recorded calls." Maya pulled her phone out and quickly navigated the menus. "If the court would listen to this, I'm sure all will become clear."

The recording played, the courtroom silent as everyone listened to two sisters happily talk about seeing one another. Maya watched Prosecutor Edgeworth as it finally got to the point where Mia admitted to hollowing out the Thinker—a clock—and storing documents in it. He was grimacing, clutching at his arm as he listened.

April May, on the other hand, looked plain furious.

"As you can see, Your Honor," Maya put her phone down on the bench in plain sight, "while I knew the Thinker was a clock—and a broken one at that—April May should not have!"

"W-well it's not like this is a particularly special clock," April May tried to recover her position. "I've probably seen it before, in one of those novelty stores in the mall."

"That's a complete lie." Phoenix looked almost surprised by how brazen she was being. Maya didn't understand why though. "Larry made that. There's only two of them in existence and one is evidence for a prior murder case." Oh. Alright then.

"Objection!" She didn't have to do that but something about loudly objecting to what April May was saying felt good. "There is no way you could have seen this in a store, novelty or otherwise."

"What are you saying?" April May sneered at Maya. "Everything is in stores and if it's not, it's online. Just because you live in the mountains where you have to barter clothes for chickens—"

"You wouldn't be able to find this in a store because it's handmade, April May. There's only two of these in the entire world: this one and the one in an evidence locker in the precinct." That was where cops put evidence after cases were done with, right? Evidence lockers? If she was wrong, nobody was refuting her.

"What?!"

"Mia didn't tell me much about work but I do know that during the last case my sister took, a Thinker clock—the sibling to this one, in fact—was used in a similar fashion. It's not left police custody since, so to speak. You should have no way to know this is a clock!" Maya slammed her hands on the bench and gave April May a fierce smile.

The woman bared her teeth and clutched at the witness stand. "How—?"

"Objection!" Before she could get any further, Prosecutor Edgeworth interrupted her. He was trying to regain control of the trial. "Miss May could have easily been present at said trial, which is why she knew the murder weapon was a clock."

"Unlikely. Time to pull our other trump card, Maya." Phoenix turned his full attention to her, his blank eyes somehow sparkling. "Time to prove April May was tapping the office phone."

"Objection! From the very start of this trial, April May has been lying about a crucial detail and that is her knowledge of the crime. There is no way she could have the information she does—such as my relationship with the victim or the true nature of the murder weapon—without having heard it firsthand." April May had, in fact, said that Mia and Maya were sisters. That wasn't something that had been said in her presence before that moment.

"Just what are you suggesting?" It was going to feel so good, taking Prosecutor Edgeworth down a peg.

"I'm suggesting that April May was tapping the Fey & Co. Law Offices."

The judge quelled the gallery's surprise. "Order! Order! What are you saying, defense? I hope you have evidence to substantiate your accusation."

"I do." Maya pulled the wiretap from her sash and presented it to the judge. "As you can see here, Your Honor, this is a wiretapping device. I found this inside the dresser of April May's hotel room, alongside the screwdriver she used to retrieve it the night of the murder."

Again, the gallery exploded with surprise and shock. Again, the judge slammed down his gavel. "Order in the court! Are you saying you stole this from the witness' hotel room?"

"Bring up how loose the phone base was. Try and use Gumshoe to corroborate that." Phoenix looked as on-edge as Maya felt.

"When I was examining the crime scene, I noticed the base of the office phone was loose, as if someone had sloppily put it back together." April May glared daggers at Maya but she didn't care. "If you need to, you can confirm that with Detective Gumshoe."

Prosecutor Edgeworth was glaring at the detective, who seemed to be mumbling something to him. Then he turned to face the judge. "I have been informed that yes, the office phone seems to have been disassembled and yes, the defendant didn't touch anything at the crime scene so she could not have been the one to tamper with it." Ha ha.

"Having seen that, I figured that maybe someone tapped her phone. In the witness' hotel room, a screwdriver was poking out of the dresser drawer and that piqued my interest. That's where I found the wiretap."

"I was under the impression your investigation was under strict supervision as a probationary act." The judge frowned at her but Maya couldn't even pretend to feel bad for stealing evidence. "Am I wrong?"

"Take the penalty."

"I take full responsibility for my actions."

The judge shook his head at her. "Consider this your first ever penalty in court. It will not happen again, understood?"

"Of course, Your Honor." Maya gave him a half-bow, unwilling to show him how much she was grinning. She was so close to an actual result. She was so close to buying an extra day. Now all she had to do was drag April May's employer out of her.

"Good. Now, Miss May, did you wiretap the victim's phone?" The judge turned his stern gaze to April May.

The woman looked furious, like a snarling beast. Her nails dug into the witness stand, her pupils slits, and she was baring her teeth at Maya. When the judge asked her that, she took a breath and smoothed down her hair, pulling her fake cuteness around her once more. "Um...why does that matter?"

"'Why does that matter?' That's a felony!" Phoenix was taken aback at her attitude. "If she keeps this up, we can get her whole testimony thrown out."

"Because, Miss April May, wiretapping is a serious offense that you will be charged on when we are done with your testimony." Prosecutor Edgeworth's voice was tense and monotone. If Maya had to take a guess as to what was bothering him, she'd say it was how she had the upper hand now—even if she didn't have definitive proof to finger the real culprit. "Be honest."

"For once in your life," Maya muttered under her breath.

"I mean, the trial isn't even about that, is it? It's about murder and I know that little brat murdered her!" Riding the line between saccharine and cutting, April May glared daggers at Maya, who returned the favor. "What harm does a little tippity-tapping even do?"

"Aside from calling your entire testimony into question: implicating you as the true killer!" If Maya sounded a little smug, it's because she felt smug. They had her on the ropes and Maya had done almost all of the legwork. What a rush! "You had to have retrieved the wiretap between when Mia called me and when the office was locked down as a crime scene. That gives you plenty of time to have entered the office, killed my sister, removed the wiretap, left the office, and then called the police."

April May hissed and clutched at the witness stand, her fingernails gouging out lines in the wood. "You can't be serious?"

"Like a murder charge."

"I didn't kill her! I was in my hotel room!" She was cornered.

"Where's your proof then?" And that is when Maya got a little too cocky.

Something changed in April May's posture and she smiled oh-so-sweetly once more. "Coffee."

"Huh?"

"I had iced coffee at nine pm on the dot." She laughed, high-pitched and sugar-coated. "It was delivered by room service. The bellboy can prove I couldn't have left my room at the time of the murder."

Phoenix was shocked by her sudden change. "She has an alibi? Was that coffee ordered on purpose? It had to have been. I know I saw more than one name on the guest book when we were there but I can't remember if she had someone rooming with her."

"Shall we get the bellboy to corroborate her alibi?" Prosecutor Edgeworth asked the judge.

The judge nodded at him. "Fetch the bellboy of the Gatewater Hotel."

"As it stands, the prosecution already subpoenaed the bellboy when questioning the current witness revealed the existence of her alibi." Prosecutor Edgeworth smiled at Maya, almost daring her to object. "He is in the prosecution's lounge as we speak, politely waiting his turn. Is this amicable to the defense?"

"Huh?" Maya didn't understand what he was asking.

"Do you really want to waste your time trying to prove Miss April May could be the true culprit by cross-examining the bellboy or are you willing to admit defeat and take my gracious offer?" His gracious offer of a manslaughter charge.

"Looks like May isn't the only one being catty right now." Phoenix laughed at his own joke. "But in all seriousness, take the chance. We might be able to prove her boss was there and that's more important."

"The defense believes that, in spite of what the prosecution might say, the wiretapping is relevant to the murder and, as I stated at the very beginning, I stand by my original goal of a full acquittal. I didn't kill Mia and the wiretapping proves I wasn't the only one who knew where she was going to be at the time of the murder." Trying to remember all the fancy lawyer words as she got emotional was hard but she was managing. Maybe when all this was done, she'd get her hands on a word-a-day calendar or something. Expand her vocabulary.

Prosecutor Edgeworth clicked his tongue in disappointment and wagged his finger at her. "If that's how you wish to proceed, so be it. The prosecution only has one request."

"And that is?" The judge asked.

"If the bellboy's testimony reveals nothing of value, then the trial will end and the defense will stop trying to drag things out."

Phoenix sighed. "I don't know why he's being so aggressive. This is just a murder case and he and Mia weren't even friends! He's taking this so personally."

"Deal." Maya didn't even hesitate. If Phoenix had seen someone's name with April May's in the guest book, then the coffee had to have been an intended alibi. She stared Prosecutor Edgeworth in the eyes, unwavering. His cold gaze seemed to slide right off of her.

"Then by all means, have at it." He bowed to her. She did her best to swallow her anger and simply rolled her eyes.

April May was arrested and led away while the bellboy was brought forward to the stand—still carrying a tray with tea on it, of all things. He looked pleased as punch to be standing on a witness stand for a murder trial.

Maya wasn't too fond of him on virtue of he'd already been rude to her, but his slight glory-chasing made her like him even less.

"Your name and occupation?" Prosecutor Edgeworth prompted.

"I am but a humble bellboy, sir." That wasn't the answer he wanted but that was the only answer he was going to get it seemed.

"You work at the Gatewater Hotel, do you not?"

Phoenix nodded in surprise. "Edgeworth is doing a great job leading his witness."

"Can't I object to that?" Maya hissed to him.

"Not any more you can't. Used to be able to though." Phoenix did not elaborate.

"I do, sir! Fourth generation bellboy! I say that this scandal will drive traffic up, up, up!" The bellboy laughed, a sound like the ringing of bells.

"I see...and the night of the murder, the fifth, Miss April May ordered room service?" Prosecutor Edgeworth didn't bother straying from his intended questions. Maya got the feeling that he wouldn't let her get away with as much faffing about as he did earlier. She'd have to be careful when cross-examining this one.

"Indeed I was." The bellboy blushed a bit. "I remember it well."

"Your testimony then."

The bellboy nodded and shifted the tray on his hand. "Of course, sir. That night, at nine pm on the dot, I delivered to Miss May room service. She answered the door, of course, and paid for her drinks, then I went on my way. That is all I saw."

"That's...hm." Phoenix stared at the bellboy. "His testimony is pretty nothing."

"Press?" Maya whispered.

"That sounds good."

"Defense?" The judge prompted.

"Thank you, Your Honor." Maya took the transcript from the stenographer and looked it over before she started her cross-examination. "You say she ordered room service at nine on the dot? Are all your room service requests so specific?"

"It depends, really. Miss May's was very punctual but sometimes we are asked for by name, so it's not an wholly unusual request." He seemed nonplussed by her asking this.

"Hm." Maya read some more, trying to find the weak link. "April May ordered drinks, plural?" That seemed odd. "She said she ordered an iced coffee."

"There were two drinks, yes ma'am." The bellboy was surprisingly forthcoming. "Eighteen dollar total, really. Plus tip." He blushed at that.

"That's an expensive coffee," Maya frowned. "But could she have drank two iced coffees before they both melted? Especially if she had called the police over a murder?"

"Are you asking the witness this?" Prosecutor Edgeworth looked bored. Maya wanted to throw her phone at his head.

"Oh, uh, no. Sorry. Just thinking aloud. Although...," she had touched on something interesting, "did you go back to get their dishes?"

"That was handed by housekeeping, ma'am. I simply tend to customers' needs as they arise." The bellboy shook his head, blushing lightly.

Wait. "You said April May gave you a tip?"

"Yes she did. It was quite shocking, considering, but she gave me an embrasser as payment for services rendered." The bellboy was beet red.

Maya blinked at him in confusion. "A what?"

"That is French for 'embrace', is it not?" Prosecutor Edgeworth supplied.

"Yes it is, sir. A kiss, as it were, sir. On the cheek, no less. I shan't forget it for years, I think. It was an exhilarating experience, considering." Oh, he was just flustered because she was attractive to him. Hm.

"What a cheap tip." Even Phoenix was unimpressed.

"As the defense can see: while Miss April May might be guilty of wiretapping, it has no bearing on this murder case and her alibi remains rock solid." Prosecutor Edgeworth looked dead at Maya as if he was daring her to keep fighting. "Shall we end this farce and get to the resolution so we can all get home?"

"Not yet!" Maya let all of her carefully crafted professionalism slip away in the wake of the terror she felt at the thought of failing after getting so far. "The - the defense would like to ask the current witness one more thing!"

"Just one more," the judge warned, "and if nothing comes of it, I will come to my conclusion. Are we clear?"

"Of course, Your Honor!" Maya furiously tore through her transcripts. "Thank you."

"Tick tock, Miss Fey." Prosecutor Edgeworth had never looked more smug or more punchable than in this moment. "Pick your question carefully."

"The check-in." Phoenix gasped. "I don't remember if she had someone with her but we can figure it out if we ask about the check-in. Edgeworth likes to keep his witness testimonies controlled. If we ask anything out of what he was told to talk about, we might get something."

Maya nodded. "Mister bellboy—"

"No need for the formality, ma'am."

"Witness, then." She didn't have time for his quibbles. "When did April May check in to the Gatewater?"

If Prosecutor Edgeworth had any concerns about the relevancy of her question, he didn't raise an objection. Instead, the bellboy gave it some thought before responding, "Well she checked in some time before the incident, ma'am. It's not as if she had only been staying for a day or anything like that. Still, I wouldn't forget her any time soon. She's my type, you see, and it was such a disappointment after all."

Wait. "What was a disappointment?" Please let this be what she thinks it is.

"She checked in with her lover, ma'am." It was. Maya was so excited she could almost cry but the trial wasn't over.

"Objection!" Now the demon prosecutor had a problem? Too late.

"Objection overruled." The judge was as interested as Maya was in what the bellboy meant. "This seems to be a pertinent line of questioning. Witness!"

"Ah, uh, yes sir." The bellboy flushed again. "Rather, uh, what is it?"

"Why didn't you mention that she was sharing the room before?" Maya was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"You didn't ask, ma'am." The bellboy gestured towards Prosecutor Edgeworth with the tray. "The gentleman over there instructed me to not offer information unless I was asked so..."

"And yet..." Prosecutor Edgeworth was sweating bullets. It was nice to see him put on blast.

"It's not technically illegal to coach your witnesses like that. It's just...scummy." Phoenix frowned again. "I suppose since I told you to do something similar in questioning, I've got no leg to stand on."

Maya was finally ready to claw her way to victory. "Witness, the man who checked in with April May, did you see him when you brought up the coffee?"

"Objection! How is that relevant?"

"Objection! April May has an alibi for the murder but she was wiretapping Fey & Co. Law Offices so she had access to sensitive information such as when my sister would be alone, waiting to hand off evidence for an upcoming case to my care. Evidence, I'll point out, that is missing as of right now." That wasn't relevant at the moment but she needed to say it aloud so there was record of her acknowledging it for later. "However, the man who checked in with her had access to the same information through her. If her alibi stands and he doesn't have one, it stands to reason that he must be the killer!"

"Objection sustained. Witness?" The judge watched the bellboy intently.

"I, uh...I don't believe I saw him, Your Honor."

The court exploded with noise as the gallery roared. Maya leaned back, hands on her hips, and smirked at Prosecutor Edgeworth. The man was leaning against his bench, eyebrow twitching as he grimaced.

"Order in the court! Order now!" The judge banged his gavel a few times and the chatter died down. "So you are suggesting that Miss May's so-called 'lover' could be the true killer of this trial?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Do you truly think one wayward lover is enough to acquit you of sororicide?" Prosecutor Edgeworth tried to recover ground but Maya was ready.

"Let's not forget that you are the one who coached the witness to hide the existence of this man. The act of concealing him makes him suspicious enough, never mind April May's illicit activities that night." She stared him down, unwilling to let him try and undo all her hard work. "I hold fast to my belief that, if he is not the true killer, this mysterious man has some ties to the crime and we cannot continue without finding and serving him."

The judge banged his gavel. "The defense raises a good point. While we cannot prove that this man is anything more than a red herring, the evidence brought before the court indicates he must have some relevance. We will reconvene court the following day after law enforcement and the prosecution look into this man." And, just like that, she had done it.

One more day and the possibility of getting the true culprit in court so they could prove her innocence. Now all they had to do was track him down and force him into court.

Victory has never tasted so bittersweet.

#the sheepy writes fic #hallowed be thy unknown #ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #trials and tribulations spoilers #ace attorney spoilers #long post #ao3 link in title #so technically this one was done and posted on the 24th #but i never got around to posting it on tumblr #so hello tumblr happy belated ''almost christmas means it wasn't christmas yet'' gift from me #im proud of how i handled the courtroom stuff #making it not quite a 1:1 game novelization #be prepared to think edgeworth is being a dick for no reason (he has a reason but its bad)#my ''cannot be brief'' disease kicked in and i wrote another 10k lmao #maya deserves to bite someone i think #ive somehow given hallowed!maya some very apollo traits #anyway pls enjoy this fic ive drawn art for it and while i havent posted it anywhere one day i will

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pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years ago

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what the... fuck?

yet again we start off with a cutscene that looks like its from a completely different game... or low quality anime

...why are we starting off in court

“who brings a defendant to his own trial late”

why... is this sentence not processing

for the life of me i have no idea what that means;

simon: you can just SCARE the judge into not giving a fuck about shit like being late, or threatening people under the guise of clever psychological manipulation!

also hi again simon

are you ready to be fun and likeable and not awful ?? I'm excited!

“i wish he'd stop treating me like a child all the time”

hey, old habits die hard.

simons already doing well by being an overprotective dork... so far so good. dont disappoint me, samurai.

our defendant is drunk

we’re off to an excellent start!

what... accent is this...

oh its drunkinese ok

“three sheets to the wind”

ive never heard that one

maybe they can get away with having a drunk guy but they cant actually say drunk?

somebody get this guy some raw eggs and hotsauce??

wow hes drunk enough to be close to vomiting? he’s not acting hungover so I'm assuming that he’s been drinking up till now. and simon was last with him, so...

yeah I'm blaming simon for this

“ive known athena longer than ive known bucky”

“ive frequented his soba restaurant”

contradiction! simon was in jail up until very recently, and knew Athena for a very short period of time during her childhood. unless he met Bucky right after taking care of athena, it’s not possible that he’s known her longer. that or i guess he could just walk right out of jail to get noodles.

“meat slapped between slabs of bread...”

oh no ya dont, translation team. you made your burger bed, now you have to lie in it. no mocking the joke now.

quit being so tsundere simon. and yes I'm giving you the luxury of being tsundere and not just an asshole who’d prefer the company of men he once tried to cut to ribbons just because Athena’s a girl. because I'm in a good mood today!

a) scariest ringtone to date

b) he runs that place alone?? sucks to be buck

please stop doing the vomit animation its making me uncomfortable

“this is no time for idle chatter”

oh simon, you obviously dont know what a chekov’s... um, conversation is.

wow so not only are we starting in the court room, but Sadmad said his prayers already. This is shaping up to be a rushed case.

...because obviously this is just filler before we get back to the Oh-So Delightful Adventures in Lawyer Land

edgeworth called him back for this case?? ...why???

Sadmad: I could be less horrible now that I owe the WAA a favourOR I could threaten to send a young lady to hell for just doing her job!!!! GO SADMAD, GO SADMAD

...dont call her a spring chick.

wait wait MAY 12TH?!

They just finished Maya’s trial and Edgeworth hauls Sadmad back to America over night?? How the fuck does Sadmad think he’s more prepared than us?? He had about the same amount of time to prepare!

I’ve got a good feeling about this case

Sadmad just let that poor butterfly rest jfc the aesthetic isn't that important

“this guy stole the deed to this other guys shop, so other guy KILLED HIM to get it back”

yes, brilliant deduction, not an overreaction at all

Sadmad, you literally got back here at like 1 am last night. Go fuck yourself and leave Athena alone.

So Apollo’s a red pepper, Athena’s an egg yolk... But there aren’t any blue foods, so Phoenix is just stuck being called ‘putrid’ in general.

Anyway cut Athena some slack. She’s already progressed far beyond having a breakdown in court because someone talked over her.

SEXY PAN UP SHOT FOR SIMON BLACKQUILL,

“Simon!! You didnt tell me you were taking the stand!!!”

“There wasn’t time...”

no time at all during that 5 minutes you spent in the lobby. But I'm laughin’ so I’m not judging. Also I missed that theme...

AW YIS

THROW DOWN SIMON

he’s the lesser of two evils this time; I'm ready to back him up! Simon in the blue corner, ding ding!!!!

half-awake sadmad looks up “rakugo” on wikipedia at 3 am

“yeah that should do it”

...and memorizes the whole article apparently

(coughmartystucough)

Sadmad: No wasting time!! This soul must get to the afterlife post-haste! You’re all putrid lumps of fecal matter for putting off the last ri–– wait, an opportunity to gloat?! Hold onto your hats, baby! The next twenty minutes are mine!!!

(weeps) thank you Athena

simon will remember this (you blackguard)

sexy pan up shot for–– oh, it really is a “sexy” pan up shot this time

except for those... soulless eyes...

aw nuts she has that drone-y X people theme.

OH GOD

OH GOD YOUR BOOBS

THAT WOULD HURT SO FUCKING MUCH

IM CLUTCHING MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but I'm also chortling at the booby jokes teehee

“Never show sadness! Smile, smile, smile! With a twisty-twist-twist!”

Hey, it’s the new motto of ace attorney! Your self worth is based solely on how well you can cover up your less palatable feelings! Yaaaay!!

...also I’m calling it now, she did it.

i think her balloons are pretty impressive, athena

420 WE GOT ONE FOLKS

“Sad Monk Sadmahdi”

simon, youre gaining brownie points fast

Lang Zi says... Oh, uh I mean, the Kooraheenist Bible says......

“I’m checking in with the big tough old man prosecutor because i underestimate this small, young, female defence attorney”

I'm getting flashbacks to Turnabout Beginnings. and not good ones.

You kick it, girl. tell them off.

nice! the judge is on our side!

why did she mention the dog barking a lot if it was only because he was hungry?

that is one hongry dog

something about the dog just burying the rest of the food is making me laugh

oh so that was important eh

hmm

has athena always done this double-slam thing, or is this new?

Athena: Witness, I think you might’ve been lying a little bit

Sadmad: Vile hitler-satan, I cast you down to hell for your debauchery, how dare you insinuate that this case has more to it than what is readily viewable on the surface? Tsk tsk, so inexperienced, so putrid,

“What? The gallery doesn’t get a say in this!”

They’re not a jury, you know!!!

“Why is the whole gallery siding with prosecutor sadmadhi?”

it’s because he’s hot, athena. thats the only reason anybody likes him.

tbh I'm actually pretty proud of Athena

same time last year Sadmad would have put her in a panic-stupor. but not today. Kudos on working that out, kiddo. You’re moving up!

...wait a minute

“with a little push, you could succumb to despair”

>despair

does Sadmad know? Does he know about her PTSD? If so... He’s deliberately TRYING TO TRIGGER HER SO THAT HE CAN WIN THE CASE?!

WHAT THE FUCK

oh boy!! OH BOY!! a dying message!!! THOSE ARE FOOL PROOF, AS PROVED BY EVERY SINGLE CASE IN THIS SERIES TO CONTAIN ONE!!

“That makes perfect sense, doesn't it!”

Yes... the man who suffocated to death somehow had time to leave a clue to his killer...

...you do realize that to be suffocated, the killer has to be there the whole time, right? if there’s nothing in his lungs and no trace of poison in his stomach, then it has to have been manual suffocation, either by strangulation (though we have yet to hear about any marks on his neck) or by covering his mouth and nose.

so youre implying that rather than fighting back, the old coot rearranged a bunch of playing cards... in plain view of his aggressor

yet again, Sadmad makes a brilliant fool proof deduction.

ohhh my god he’s still trying to do it. HE’S STILL TRYING TO TRIGGER HER. I SWEAR TO FUCK, he’s been tolerable–– very thinly tolerable up until now. But this is just disgusting. This is brazen, malicious cheating. I don’t care if he turns out to be jesus himself when the inevitable “urhurhur he was good all along!!” twist shows up; I’m not forgetting this.

Damnit , Athena, don’t fucking listen to him. Don’t listen to a word he fuckin says.

Man I’ve never been so happy to see Simon. Little bit of the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here since Simon’s MO is to threaten and manipulate–– err, ah, use psychology!! to influence people, but I hate Sadmad so much that I don’t care.

“To think, you were so easily manipulated by his parlour tricks...”

Watch it, Simon. You’re the lesser of two evils this time, but that doesn’t exempt you from criticism. As a psychologist, you should know WHY it worked so well on Athena and you should be SENSITIVE about it.

You’re cleared of all charges, remember?? You don’t have to pretend to be a douchebag to keep up your ill-thought-out plan anymore.

“I’m not girding up anything in this skirt!”

well i just don't know what to say to that

Oh boy here comes Uendo.

Everyone seems to love him so I’m hoping he’ll be a reprieve from Sadmad’s......... everything

Sexy pan up shot of... a guy on a bunch of flower bags. With his own theme song!

so far I'm loving his animations and I'm always a slut for shitty puns!!

let’s see... blush stickers for the goofy one, hair forwards and eyeshadow for the lady. Clever little things that make each one of his characters different. He's definitely a fun character so far!

ah I'm really enjoying his dialogue

ill bet the translators had a ball with this

won't you PLEASE laugh at my PUN!!!

its ok uendy, i thought it was good.

“Silence is more precious than diamonds”, eh?

I can definitely see which Sadmad values more...

ooh a spit take! not since godot have we been blessed... also i notice they've dialled up the rock guitar in Athena’s theme. Personally don’t see it as an improvement but eh

“yes, making it look like the man drowned was obviously because the culprit hated him and wanted to desecrate his corpse instead of getting the fuck out of there quicker like any killer would”

not to make it look like

he’d drowned in the bowl

to throw off the police.

of course not; that’d be too obvious.

another win for the great Sadlock Madholmes.

wait did Sadmad just say Objection?? I thought he didnt do that

also; duel of the growly voices

prosecutor sad monk. simon’s still a dick but at least his dickishness spreads to people i dont like :3

ooh i love it when i can rearrange physical pictures

“you can put the cards back in their right place but if you cant explain them then youre fucked”

ever thought that maybe theyre irrelevant to the case and theyre just... cards?? sadmad??

i mean i know theyre not but they could easily have just been on the table when the murder happened. they could stand for absolutely nothing.

ahh... the sweet refreshing scent of common sense. you redeem yourself step by step, simon. i mean, when youre not being a dick about it.

“don’t testify.”

franziska tried this once. it was for an evil scheme. i dont want to have to threaten another witness with revealing a dark secret; that was depressing.

but at least we know meanwhile that Sadmad isn’t above dirty shit like shutting up a witness. .......not that we didnt know that before.......

“Are you trying to taunt him into talking? Such a petty trick will never work”

POT.

CALLING.

THE KETTLE.

JET BLACK, SADFUCK.

simon’s lucky he’s surrounded by idiots and people with poor impulse control, otherwise his “mind tricks” wouldn’t do shit

“to be turned by such an obvious ploy... what a man of weak spirit.”

for once, Sadmad, I gotta agree.

its time for

Artistic!

License!

Psychologyyyyyyyyy!!!!

sadmad doesn't get his way: my god will smite you later :(((((

now that we’ve worn this non-joke out...

“seeing my master asleep just made me so fuckin sad...”

i love that anger has such a distinctive ping sound

please do not call your toe that

“You gotta fuss over every tiny detail like this?” yes, Uendo. That’s why I’m writing these !!

that box of buns keeps drawing my attention. i love buns

Simon, you could try using some positive reinforcement. Mia wasn’t soft on Phoenix, but she encouraged him to think and puzzle things out for himself; she didn’t just call him an idiot. All the time.

“as sharp as a trout”

what the fuck

“so thats how it works ! fascinating!”

its not like i spent a lot of time working under the woman who invented said matrix!

its kinda sad that Athena’s never seen multiple emotions in high dudgeon

she must hang out with a lot of mild mannered people

athena: ive just proved these words mean something detrimental to the witness

sadmad: erm but they mean nothing to me therefor they warrant no further investigation.

???

i stg most of Nahyuta’s “”””counter argumnets”””” are legitimately just him trying to disparage the obvious contradiction away.

again athena seems unable to believe that people can only feel one intense emotion at a time

should i be worried

silly AA, that’s not how DID works!

oh well, at least Uendo is the fun kind of DID, unlike other... side-splittingly shameful characters I could mention...

Pohlfuckya indeed sadmad

ROLE CALL

“You seem proud of yourself, but all youve done is infringe on the privacy of the witness”

(sweats) i hate it when Sadmad makes good points

its not really dissociative if you dont... um... dissociate.

Sadmad: let it go and––

Athena: Shut up!!

Sadmad: Let it g––

Athena: Sssh!!!

Sadmad: le––

Athena: SJSJSJSJ

“if words will not sway you, perhaps pain will”

eject

him

i dont... like that... the beads are around her torso.......

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE FUCKIN CUT THEM IN MID AIR

that deserves a fucking cutscene all on its own. its like the time Lang caught Franziska’s whip only cool and not bulshitty

...also you coulda maybe done that a lil earlier simon lol

“I dont give two flips”

all his flips have flown the coop

“but if Cykes dono were to submit to you here...”

DO NOT

USE THE WORD SUBMIT

WHEN PRAYER BEAD BONDAGE IS INVOLVED

fuck you sadmad, not everyone has magic gary-stu powers that let them memorize everything about a single subject in one night.

once again sadmad wastes precious time and diamonds showing off

after this lengthy, lengthy, leeeeeengthy detour............ wouldyouliketoaddthisstatementtothetestimony?

“you look like a hen with a dozen eggs to say”

you can just say “constipated” and it'll be less creepy, simon

how could they... not tell... oh who cares

“we’ve got you by the stones now, Uendo!”

DAMN the TESTICLE references in this game!!!

“heres a big plot twist that i just convenientlyforgottomention urhurhurhr..”

spoken like a true prosecutor

there was such a long pause there i thought he was building up to a pun

but of course he wasnt. sadmad isn't cool at all

heheh i just noticed that Bucky has hair noodles, just like Mr. Eldoon (tho Bucky’s dont appear to be a wig)

also its... very distressing to have a drunk client.

y’know i just realized

Sadmad is always talking about sending souls to the twilight realm in the proper way. but he's an international prosecutor. he’s probably prosecuted victims of all religious alignments.

isn't it kind of disrespectful to perform your religion’s funeral rites on someone who doesn’t practice it???

again, BK is only successful because Uendo is a moron

to be fair though, that was one of his better ones.

“You were leading the witness!”

I...

Just, fuckin’. Please stop making good points, sadmad. I don’t want to be enraged with you, I want to be enraged AT You!!

...well i mean I don’t want to but i hate it when you bring up excellent points.

anyway why doesn't sadmad want them to find Owen anyway. if it comes to nothing, who cares? can you just not stand having people who aren’t you waste time??

again... DID doesn’t work like that........

macbeth, starring athena cykes and simon blackquill

hey i jusT REALIZED WHERE’S TAKA

thats,,, reallllllyy not how DID works,,,,,,,,,,,,,

highfalutin’

“if you see one, there are likely thirty in your home’

thirty what

WTHIRTY WHAT

look if you knew how DID is supposed to work you'd probably have a good hypothesis by now. not an... ethical one to implement, but a working one.

i guess Uendo just never sleeps then, because apparently falling unconscious calls out another personality.

...brilliant.

Simon: STOP BEING SO NERVOUS. IS MY NAGGING AND DISAPPOINTMENT SOOTHING YOU???? IS IT?????!!!!

the time honoured tradition of turning a slip of paper over... truly, this is an Ace Attorney game

dude.... if you conk out from the trace amounts of alcohol in a bun, you should maybe visit a doctor possibly

“hmm, yes, i will allow you to render this man unconscious from alcohol.”

classic judge!!

au where blackqyil is a very angsty delivery boy

BABY

THERE HE IS

MY PRECIOUS BIRD

I WAS SO SCARED SOEMTHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU

...that bird is going to fly into a shop, terrorize the workers, steal bean buns and (hopefully) drop a twenty on the counter as he flies the coop

awesome

phew that was a long court... but wait if this is a half-episode (which it probably is) and it started on a court day...

no investigation?! RIP OFF

gonna cut this one off here. till next time...

#sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]

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