#be honest with yourself about your intentions when confronting your uncle josh

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How To Be A Better Person Pt. 2 Being Honest With Yourself

This is the most important step in becoming the best version of yourself; a good person. You might ask, "If this is the most important step, why isn't it first?" That's because you needed to test yourself. You needed to see that you are willing to self-reflect and be honest with yourself with an outsider's guidance before you'd be willing to hear from an outsider that you're not being honest with yourself.

You might ask, "If I'm completely honest, it's going to be with myself, right?" Wrong. You will be the first person to convince yourself that you are doing the right thing, that you're "actually being nice", or that you're "just being brutally honest". You don't want to believe that you're not a good person, or that your actions could be portrayed as bad. You will be the first person to be dishonest with yourself.

It's no secret that feeling bad isn't a good feeling. Everyone makes justifications for certain actions and behaviors. It's perfectly normal that you do as well, as long as you try to be more aware of what you say and do to others and actively try to do things in a more pleasing manor.

For example, there is never a reason to be "brutally honest". A good person has no need for brutality. If you intention is ever to be "brutally honest", then you don't have good intentions.

Say a family memeber's own actions have contributed to them being in a long-term depression. It would be horribly unkind of you to tell that family member, "You're a lazy slob who aspires for more than you're willing to put the effort into achieving." Instead, try saying in a positive, uplifting tone: "Hey, Uncle Josh, did you know the local tattoo shop has a booth open? I talked to the owner, he doesn't know you, so you're good to talk to him. I'm sure you'd feel really good having some of your own money, instead of having my mom always telling you 'no' when you ask her for $15 dollars and having her accuse you of only asking because you want liquor." Phrase it in a way that makes people WANT to hear what you have to say, and you're on the right way to being a better version of yourself; a good person.

If you ever find yourself telling someone to "lower their standards", you're not actually doing them a favor, therefore you're not "actually being nice", and you need to be honest with yourself about that.

Lastly, you're lying to yourself with you go out of your way to make justifications for objectively bad actions. For example, if you're in a stated monogamous romantic relationship with one person, and you choose to invest in a different, unofficiated romantic relationship, you might tell yourself that the right thing to do is to leave your current partner so you won't continue to hurt them in one way or another. This is actually very, very selfish. Should you make the decision to leave your partner for someone else, the pretense of doing it so that you won't "continue to lead them on" or so that way "they can find someone who will truly love them", that pretense is lost when your (ex) partner has to completely change their lifestyle, schedule, finances, all while doing so alone and grieving. In this circumstance, you've done nothing but lie to yourself so you could be more comfortable making your selfish decision. The right thing to do is simply not build any sort of relationship that could lead to romance while already in a romantic relationship. If you honest with yourself, and you feel as though it's not something control, please know you don't need friendships with people who fall into any of your romantic preferences.

If you try being honest with yourself about your intentions and feelings every time you enter a new situation or are presented with a new situation, then you will be on your way to being a better version of yourself; a good person.