#bcuz my parents have no emotional regulation take everything personally and love to escalate everything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mosspapi · 9 months ago

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I'm realizing now that I think a big part of the reason I've felt so "mean" or "rude" or "disrespectful" the last few months is I'm simply not masking. I've almost forgotten I even 'should' be bcuz my brain is just not working the same anymore. And if I DO remember it's smth I 'should' be doing,I don't have the energy or mental capacity to try and figure out what tone to use or what people r wanting from me or what's socially acceptable, so I'm just using my normal tone. Which is flat and monotone and blunt and apparently a little aggressive. Which is. Not ideal

#like I'm glad I've figured it out but nobody around me will understand this so it's gonna b a problem lmao #like the last time I was not masking and using my normal tone I ended up getting punched and having shit thrown at me #bcuz my parents have no emotional regulation take everything personally and love to escalate everything #idk it's hard to explain why it's so weird I'm not doing it bcuz I didn't Used to mask at all #but over the last like 10 years or so it's become so ingrained in me as a trauma response I almost don't notice I do it #and now all of that has suddenly just. Gone. like I don't even Think that I should b doing smth different #idk. it's weird #armchair speaks #actually disabled #actually autistic

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