#bcs ppl in fics sometimes make sam way too wimpy and frail. but also sometimes ppl overcorrect and end up on the other side of the spectrum

[lilacpaperbird]

you know what, the kid!sam that exists in my mind and is in love with his brother does write angsty poetry in hidden journals. and he's angry but he's also sad. and he's bitchy and talks back but he's also sensitive and cries hidden under threadbare motel blankets. he's a sad weird kid who feels lonely. even when I think about canon kid!sam, more images of him looking dejected or lonely or resigned or about to cry come to mind than of him lashing out in anger. and I love his bitchy argumentative side but have we forgotten he's also sensitive. we're talking about the kid who cried when he discovered monsters were real, the kid who had an imaginary friend, the kid who couldn't read stories about holy heroes because he felt unclean and unworthy, the kid who wanted to be in the school drama club and whose english teacher told him he had a talent for writing, the kid who felt there was something profoundly wrong with him and could never be normal, the kid who prayed in secret every night, the kid who felt he was a disappointment to his father because he didn't want to be a hunter. that kid was more sad than angry. so I can see that kid!sam in love with his brother and being emotional and emo about it. I mean being in love that young already makes you act like an angsty sappy pining mess, imagine being in love with your brother. that sam rolls his eyes and slams doors, but he also spends hours looking out the impala's window while sad punk love songs blast through the headphones of his walkman. that sam crosses his arms and barks something at dean when he comes to pick him up from school, but what dean doesn't know is that earlier that day his little brother had doodled a heart around his name on his maths notebook before hastily crossing it out