#bc up until this point theyve not done that. they havent TALKED about any of this face to face

[usertoxicyaoi]

A Flustered Sung Ho + His New Found Feelings Towards Jun Sung. HIS MAN 2 (2023). Episode 3-5.

[shadowscommand]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

[waterparksdrama]

man i know yallre just worried for them and it comes from deep appreciation for what the band has done up until this point but, why all of the nihilism??

sure funeral grey and fuck about it are.. pretty vapid in a few ways but, they each have a least a lyric or two worth something and sound generally catchy? rsd and self sabotage are pretty good imo, and seem genuine/vunerable even if they showcase Bad Stuff for awsten. and we havent got to see really *any* of the record thusfar because theyve been so busy, so there can be hidden gems. no ones gotta deny the clear appeal to general audiences, but i dont think we have to shit on it *so* heavily. ultimately they seem to want to keep growing and making music. they are probably pretty wealthy but its likely not enough to drop everything after one last poorly performing album. i especially can’t imagine that awsten would want to “let Them win” by leaving from feeling miserable due to ending up the same as every other artist or “failing” to play the industry game.

it would be ideal if they took these next few months before ymas tour to take a genuine break (minimal writing, no studio, nothing) and let fans know a vague release date but that its for the best so that they can put their all into it. i know realistically that probably wont be how it goes, but i trust them to recognize their own burnout and take *somewhat* of a break before their art suffers for it. even if they were planning on this being the last album before a hiatus, i cannot imagine theyd want to flop hard instead of going out on a bang. this doesnt have to be “the end of a good band” etc, awsten has openly talked about how much criticism theyve gotten from the start even on black light.

how hard is it to take the bands experimentation at face value or at least give awsten the credit of knowing when enoughs enough?

wow this is long and im not even sure if my response will encompass all of this but i'll try

i think the nihilism is reasonable tbh. it's not like awsten changes his bad habits online and it's not like this fanbase gets any less annoying and the songs don't get stupider etc etc. everything and nothing ever changes with this band at the same time. they get older, but habits still stay and never leave.

i think the new songs for the most part are passable but aren't really "parx songs" in the classic sense meaning "playful, but with some serious passion entwined in it that really gets you hooked". it just feels really edgy yet somehow generic when he tries to push some of these sex lyrics in and it just feels awkward especially coming from him of all people. and the complaining songs (as i call them) about shit he always complains about (fans, music critics, being a d list internet celebrity at best) is so fucking tired and also some of the things he complains about are usually his fault and something he can stop.

i do think they want to keep growing and making music but i also feel like they're trying to convince themselves that they are in the first place bc things just don't flow the same anymore especially now that they don't even all live in the same place. i don't think they're sticking to whatever plan awsten had in his head for this album from the looks of it bc i have a feeling it's been reworked a lot and he's kind of stalling its official announcement to rework it in the first place.

as of taking a break, while that is a good idea and you know they probably won't anyways, have you seen awsten? he barely takes breaks and even when he says he does, it just means he's lurking without saying anything because he doesn't wanna say shit. he legit has not taken a real break since goddamn 2010 because even after he finishes something, he's always onto something else. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only reason there's such big gaps between the eps was just to gather the resources and promo they needed to record them in the first place bc they're always making some shit no matter what. i don't trust him to take a break even if they're burned out bc he'll always have something to say and write as stupid as he manages it.

it's ironic you use the term experimentation considering they're really just relapsing into that modern distilled pop punk sound when their last album was experimental one. i feel like if awsten's trying to go mainstream on the radio, let him; it won't necessarily mean it's the best they've put out. and awsten never knows when enough's enough; he'll take things too far every time (love, internet jokes, etc etc) and won't jump back until he stops posting (only for a little while of course and he'll still lurk himself in that time) and come back so that everyone tells him they love him and he'll believe it until he takes things too far again and the cycle repeats like it always does - iz

[wickedpact]

What are your thoughts on Booker's insta-redemption in Forces Multiplied? He kind of immedietly gets redeemed when it's revealed that Noriko has been torturing him for information on where the gang is but he hasn't given them up no matter how bad it gets. Do you think this form of redemption feels earned, or that it needs to be built up a bit more?

i havent read FM, so as always my opinions come from a place of 90% ignorance and shouldnt be taken as fact, but as this post points out (and as greg talks a little about here), the squad's.. . . . 'separation' from booker seemingly came less of a place of 'your actions caused us pain therefore we are angry with you' and more 'you betrayed our trust (worse, he took advantage of their trust for his own benefit) therefore we're angry at you'. its not about the harm he cause but more about his intent.

"In accepting this punishment, they can be friends again. And I think that that's why there has to be a punishment (...) 'We are a unit, and we have to be able to rely upon each other’ and that’s what Andy’s responding to. (...) ‘You didn't have our backs, so sorry, that has to be paid for. There’s a bill.'”

the separation at the end of the movie is more of a thing of 'we cant trust you now and until we feel we can trust you, youve got to be alone. read a self-help book or something' rather than 'go be alone and suffer bc we hate you now and want you to be sad for what youve done to us'

so booker's 'redemption' coming from a place of refusing to betray the squad...does make sense to me, if youre framing the banishment as a 'the squad learns to trust booker again' thing. hes proven he can be trusted with their safety, thus theyre willing to let him back in

(WHICH you could argue that booker betrayed them bc he wanted to die, and a real trial for him to prove his loyalty would be someone offering him the opportunity to die in exchange for him to betray the squad again...... which wouldnt work bc you *cant* actually undo the immortality, kozak & merrick have proven that, and booker knows that. being tortured is... a decent stand-in i guess)

(and like.. this is just me but im not a fan of most redemption arcs bc i dont rlly believe in negative reinforcement most of the time, & the idea that a necessary part of any redemption arc is that 'the redemptee must suffer for the things theyve done' doesnt really. . vibe with me. its a very. .. . .. catholic idea imo)

which i havent read it so i dont know how its framed/handled but i think personally its less of a matter of 'earning redemption' and more a matter of 'does the squad feel ready to let him back in'

[scarletrebel]

⭐star⭐ waffle at me about your favourite lines youve written

ohhh friend you have opened a pandoras box and i hope you are ready also thank you aha

so i started…….. picking some lines and made the Executive Decision to just do one fic because i was planning on doing a couple from a handful of fics but turns out im far too prone to waffling about this kind of stuff because i love picking things apart and figuring out why they work because i love fuckign words and the things they evoke and stuff so yeah this is just some fave lines from most recent fic, requital. 

this was part of a ‘directors cut’ writer thing and if anyone has any more prompts, feel more than free to send them my way! 

Requital, Chp. 1: 

His honesty, wrapped tightly underneath a chivalrous act; a throwaway comment to soften the exposure of such a question, draws her closer.

She kisses him, and hopes that even though the motion is countless in the amount of times they’ve come together, that the answer is plain enough. A claim, she hears her own words in her head, tasting the tobacco of his morning cigarette on her tongue, the warmth of the pull at his hands on her hips.

so whilst i cant say this section was directly inspired by the ecdysis book, what i can say is that there is definitely some influence going on here, in particular these two lines from the page ‘synesthesia’:

“Wu Ming is a bonfire in the darkness, and she crawls toward his warmth.”

“Wu Ming leaves his questions by the wayside as he is drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty.” 

and thats not something i realised until i was writing the final draft, and im pretty pleased with myself considering not only is requital going to examine some of the similarities between avia and drifter, but also the fact that ecdysis is probably my favourite book. i mean…… ‘drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty’ what the FUCK KIND OF LINE its gorgeous i cant deal with it or this book or this page or how desperately gorgeous the tragedy of drifter and orins relationship is 

also…… look. im a hopeless romantic. always have been, probs always will be, so when i say avia and rook are soulmates i mean it in the cheesiest way possible. right before this is rook feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole awoken engaging thing, and theres no way avia can actually put into words how irrevocably in love she is with rook. so she kisses him, and hopes beyond hope that she can put those feelings into motions if not words. i also enjoy the small bit of possessiveness that came out of her too, because the whole ‘claim’ thing with the awoken was there since the first draft but this section came in the final edit, she thinks of it so casually but when she goes on to say that she’d actually duel anyone who came between them i…….. would not put it past her to be 100% down to do that. 

rook isnt a bonfire in the darkness, he’s an anchor in the deep, a solid tether when the sea becomes a storm. 

(ayyy where the FUCK WAS THAT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS) 

Requital Chp. 2:

Here’s the thing, if you’ve gone through the trouble of decrypting this (a fortified certain-eyes-only encryption that took me a couple of hundred years to perfect, thank you very much), it at least means you’re interested, so hear me out.

i like this line a lot, for a few reasons. drifter knows avia well enough at this point to be well acquainted with her temper and lack of time for dealing with his nonsense. it’s the first flick of the coin between the two of them, drifter laying the proverbial gauntlet down and at the end of the day, its up to her whether or not she picks it up. 

and she does, avia asks levi to decrypt it, and the first thing she sees is drifter acknowledging that shes done so and asking her to at least hear him out. he’s kind of caught her out, and she can respect that even if thats not at the forefront of her mind. avia also has her own brand of curiosity when it comes to people like the drifter, so this is kind of the first inkling of that. and it also (i hope) makes you wonder if drifter is aware of that curiosity that she has, if he sent the message decrypted on purpose to get her interested. 

She smiles at the note, throws her legs over the bed and stretches around a yawn. Five minutes later, Levi puts her in her armour.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around?” The Ghost asks. “We don’t have anything urgent to do. There’s breakfast here.”

Avia hums, considering. She moves into the kitchen, glances over the fridge, the cupboards. She looks then onto the sofa, the sprawled pillows, untidy blankets. Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.

“No. I’m not hungry, let’s go.”

“Okay,” Levi says in that tone of voice that lets her know they aren’t buying it. “Should we walk, or transmat?”

Avia notices the balcony door is still open. She walks over and closes it, the streets barely alive as one or two civilians walk to and fro, glancing idly at each other as they pass. “Transmat.”

avia immediately makes an comment about being all domestic with rook in chapter 1. its just not something that suits her in her own mind, and that line (even though i havent waffled about it bc dear god theres too much here already) was something i immediately knew i wanted if i was going to write a day of domestic bliss with her and her fiance, because i knew it’d be a hard thing for her to just get on with like a normal person aha. 

so, we get this part in chapter 2. the domestic bliss is over, and what avia knows best, what shes always known best, is a set of armour and getting back to work. however this part of herself contradicts that which she’s experienced for the past day, and especially the line ‘Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.’ i put in to really reinforce that idea. its not the metal that feels out of place in this scene, its the person in the metal. and her eagerness to transmat straight to the tower rather than walk through the peaceful city streets shows her tendency to run from such thoughts.

this part came really naturally, actually. its a small snapshot into a bigger struggle avia has with herself (especially given the dreaming city, the reef, petra and now potentially going back to the worst part of the shore with drifter) of where she belongs, and more importantly, if she deserves to belong. which is why levi talks to her in that tone because they know what shes doing, theyve seen it so many times before – avia in a scenario that resembles something normal and running from it with no one around to stop her, because in her subconscious she doesnt believe she deserves it. 

“Ada-1, I believe, has fully settled into the Tower. She becomes more and more tolerable of the Guardians by the day. And with the discovery of Niobe labs, her mood has been favourable.”

i had no idea how fun scarlet was to write until i got to this part. she almost has her own language, really. writing ‘im really proud of ada because i spent all morning with her and she was only snippy with like two guardians and shes been really uplifted and im really happy for her since they found niobe labs’ in scarlets own ‘okay but heres the relevant information’ way of explaining things is a challenge but FUN. like, really fun?? 

because scarlet wouldnt be mentioning adas mood if she didnt care, ya know? and its not that she cant say that longer thing about being proud and stuff, its just that she doesnt see the sense in it and its not important information. like, if avia and eden were to spend a dedicated amount of time whittling her down she would absolutely say ‘i am so proud of ada and also i wanna smooch her face how do i do that as an exo’ but its just not a thing for her. but part of the reason why ada and scarlet being together was an idea that i had was because i imagine that line of thinking probably suits ada. 

“It was at Ada’s request. I had more knowledge of the area in its current state, and felt more comfortable talking to Ikora and her Hidden agents than Ada did…”

supportive exo girlfriends. that is all. man ive gotta write more about these two

“Hmm,” Ada wears a concerned stare masked behind a formal rigidity that Avia knows her Warlock teammate best for.

if im being honest, i just really enjoy this line. i imagine its hard for exos to show concern, esp a character like ada and my girl scarlet, so avia has spent a lot of time dissecting certain facial cues and yeah im proud of how this description came out aha

…as if she hadn’t spent the past few months clipping sidelong comments and threatening him when his Gambit veered out of the realm of her control.

avia is a control freak. plain and simple, and i wanted to make that as obvious as possible considering this sentence is only a few away from avia choosing to go and talk to drifter. 

there’s a certain amount of ‘i need to understand this thing that i have limited knowledge on so i can predict/control/plan for it in the future’ in how avia views drifter in general, its a kind-of warlock way of thinking about things but the big difference is avias need for control in these situations is a) selfish and b) only applies to things that she knows she has a good chance of understanding/taming. shes not going around learning about the hive because she has a good understanding that thats a cosmic threat that can only be defended against until it comes. drifter on the other hand is on her doorstep.

i also really loved the contradiction in putting ‘gambit’ and ‘control’ next to each other in a sentence, i kinda hoped it showed how conflicted avia is about going and talking to drifter, and maybe even how naive it is of her to think that it could turn out okay. 

She was incensed, maybe, at the way he spoke to Ada, needed to go and stomp the idea out of his head but he got her talking, like he does

i like this line bc its avia acknowledging that she knows how shes viewed. she knows everyone sees her as a hot-head, she knows her anger veers away from her sometimes and whilst she’s gotten better at getting a handle on it, it’s still an aspect of her that people who dont know her well enough find it hard to get past. 

i also enjoy how new people to this fic/avia in general might not know that this is a big part of her? so she’s trying to use it as an excuse, ‘well no one can blame me if i say i got really mad because thats what i do’ and it (hopefully) tells new people about that aspect of her character without having to show the worst part of it, the convo with ada being an introduction to it i guess – especially since the past few scenes have seen her a lot softer than im used to writing aha. 

“Dammit,” she mutters under her breath. And walks towards the Drifter before she can make a better decision

fun fact – this line was originally ‘and walks down the corridor before she can make a better decision.’ 

i changed it because i wanted to make it more obvious that avia is making a conscious decision to choose drifter, that she’s walking towards a path that she knows is not a good idea. it provides foreshadowing for the allegiance quest and referring to him as ‘The Drifter’ cements it as an idea that she’s walking towards and not necessarily a person. 

[wlwhyuck]

💫🌟85 questions tag🌟🌙

i was tagged by @najaeminclub to do this, and even though ive already done this it was awhile ago and i thought i’d do it again for fun lol 

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

last:

1. drink: water from my lovely hydroflask

2. phone call: my best friend last night i Love her

3. text message: “sippy sip bitch” to my fav cousin lol 

4. song you listened to: japan by famous dex

5. time you cried: uh last night nyoom

ever:

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: uh yeah

10. been depressed: yes 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no bc i can Control myself and plus im never just drunk so ive never gotten to the point of throwing up....and i have a like. fear of vomit/vomitting 

favorite colours:

12. black

13. red

14. blue

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yes omg

16. fallen out of love: out of lust ? mayhaps. love? no

17. laughed until you cried: every time my dumb ass laughs at dumb shit i cry

18. found out someone was talking about you: i love hearing abt ppl talking abt me and this isnt even sarcasm 

19. met someone who changed you: yes and im grateful

20. found out who your friends are: this first year of college/university/whatever has shown me a lot and im grateful

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: i havent been on fb in like 5 yrs

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: i never added ppl i didnt know irl

23. do you have any pets: no but i wish /:

24. do you want to change your name: used to want to change it from korin to korinne lol 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: dank ass korean food with my stupid friends that i love to death, threw a soft serve cone out a sun roof while on the freeway(not my proudest moment i dont usually litter ksjdfskljdf), and boba 

26. what time did you wake up today: like 8-thirty something

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching greys anatomy lol i got like 12 seasons to go before i catch up

28. what is something you can’t wait for: 88rising’s head in the clouds and honne in the same week! also im going to this super bougie kbbq place for my cousins bday w our friends soon we havent been in forever

29. what are you listening to right now: incidentally, head in the clouds by joji

30. when was the last time you saw your mom: like this morning before she left for work

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i have actually known zero toms my entire life

32. something that gets on your nerves: i work retail im sure you can imagine what gets on my nerves (customers)

33. most visited website: youtube and tumblr and ssense (bc i love torturing myself)

34. hair colour: black brown

35. long or short hair: its short rn !! but i miss my long hair too

36. do you have a crush on someone: @doysauce hey i have a crush on u 

37. what do you like about yourself: my knowledge of fashion and ive been told im a good listener and give good advice

38. want any piercings: i dont want any more tbh! i used to want industrials in both ears

39. blood type: i have. no idea

40. nicknames: korn flakes, cup o noodle, k, krin

41. relationship status: tengo una novia hehe

42. zodiac: capricorn

43. pronouns: she/her, they/them doesnt matter.. im agender/non-binary but its more a me thing than anything tbh !

44. fave tv shows: greys anatomy

45. tattoos: one on the outside of my wrist!

46. right handed or left handed: right

47. ever had surgery: no

48. piercings: just my ears!

49. sport: i dont Move.mp3

50. vacation: id love to go to japan, germany, russia, paris, korea

51. trainers: i have a pair of white a1s i wear almost everyday

more general:

52. eating: i’m eating canned peaches and i added ice bc. i hate warm fruit

53. drinking: water rn but i love oolong milk tea or matcha thai tea

54. i’m about to watch: greys anatomy S2E21

55. waiting for: my best friend to pick me up so we can go to the movies n eat n do dumb shit

56. want: fuckin air conditioning its so hot in my room bye

57. get married: perhaps one day but idk. my parents arent even married theyve just been together all these yrs

58. career: bithc a job in the fashion industry. in the digital editorial department of one of the following: ssense, dsm, grailed, dazed, nylon

which is better:

59. hugs or kisses: both uwu

60. lips or eyes: both

61. shorter or taller: taller 

62. older or younger: uh idk no one younger by like a yr or two lol

63. nice arms or stomach: i mean if its a Boy i love. arm girls i dont care bc theyre Perfect

64. hookup or relationship: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: 85% troublemaker 15% hesitant hehe

have you ever:

66. kissed a stranger: nah

67. drank hard liquor: strawberry sky yummmmm

68. lost glasses: yes every goddamn morning

69. turned someone down: uh yeah rip lol

70. sex on first date: if ur both down n consent then why not

71. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so ?

72. had your heart broken: yes 

73. been arrested: no

74. cried when someone died: yes

75. fallen for a friend: big Yeah

do you believe in:

76. yourself: mostly

77. miracles: sometimes

78. love at first sight: no 

79. santa claus: no

80. kiss on first date: if you’re both down then why not tbh 

81. angels: her name is zyla

other:

82. best friend’s name: tirza 

83. eye colour: brown

84. fave movie: interstellar, dunkirk, ready player one, arrival

85. fave actor: i dont have a favorite actor rip

i am not tagging 20 ppl sjdskjd but i Am tagging newer mutuals! @officialrenjuns @1aphrodite @donghyonce @sitgma @4-am @huangfilms @yuckhi @1yangs @saphore @littleprincejeno @1eehyuck @nctchenle

[foolgobi65]

Characterization meme: Amy, Jodhaa, and Avantika!

i tamy’s done! 

avantika: 1. that whole child soldier thing lol. there is only one goal and it is devasena’s liberation etc etc 2. this means that really everything about her personality has been honed towards her goal so any personal likes or dislikes or traits must be really strong to survive the indoctrination. i do think that, more than her fellow soldiers, she actually believes in the Cause and wants to save devasena for herself. if avantika wasn’t forced into it i think she would have chosen it anyway, and thats important to me especially when she is allowed to step away from her duties and ask herself why shes doing this3. i see her native personality as a combination of devasena and kattapa, or what i can extrapolate from kattapa outside of his status as a slave. i dont think she would be as hot headed as devasena, i think she’d be more calculating. i see her as a kind of glacier, where she takes her time to think of all angles but once shes decided shes unstoppable. kattapa always seems to be very level headed to me as an actual person. i think she and baahu and kattapa are all a little more grounded (probably because for better or worse theyve got some stable sense of self... or lack thereof with kattapa yuck) while devasena and shivu are all over the place bc they’re struggling for self definition and terrified someone else will force them into this role they arent meant for.4. i see her as someone who values non transactional kindness, which is why she globs on to shivu in my au so quickly. theres no reason for him to help her but he does and he seems to like her without expecting anything in return. this also somehow fits in with her liking pretty things. the sense of her valuing all these things that she sees as fragile and beautiful and so liable to being broken or exploited, and her wanting to protect them. 5. she could pull of a buzzcut6. she sees herself as expendable, and also hates mahishmati until she figures out that the people arent so bad. self value and mahishmati related nuance (sparked by their own internal revolutionary movement bc she shouldnt sympathize with the people who want to exterminte her) are all arc moments for her. 

Jodhaa:1. the husband thing, where she cant think of him by his actual name. i also see her switching between how she perceives the man her husband, the man Emperor of Hindustan and her husband the Emperor. 2. dissatisfaction with the way she was raised. its important for the compromise to be a two way street for me, and one where together they have an equitable relationship based on love trust and mutual admiration for one another’s skills. i feel like she has to see the flaws inherent in the way she was raised. (the bartering, the poison before loss of honor)3. shes kind, intelligent, proud. both of them are looking for unconditional love, which they havent really experienced. all of their prior relationships were v transactional and based on what they did for the other party imo. depending on what point the fic is set in i think the Romance aspect is important in terms of how she interacts with everyone bc once shes got the assurance of love she can be so much more confident. 4. she actually wants to be a productive ruler who does things rather than frivolous. she could have spent all her time in the harem, but she wants love and respect, she wants to have a proper place in her new home, and eventually she wants to be Empress because she thinks she can do a good job at it. 5. she probably learns how to sing qawwalis and jalal just cries like a baby. they figure out some syncretic balance and talk for far too long into the night about religion and culture and history and how the rajputs were high on opium every battle. jalal probably has a favorite mirabai song, and picks up rajasthani. 6. oh! at some point she ends up reading his correspondence for him. (akbar is theorized to have been dyslexic so this isnt really a thing where she can teach him to read in her spare time.) the og akbar is said to have a fantastic memory so maybe he recites a bunch of stories for her amusement.  

[foreveregyptian]

DO ALL OF THE AESTHETIC ASKS (but not the ones you're uncomfortable answering)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

last monday in the gameroom a little louder than i should have

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

any moment i’ve spent with people whose company i enjoy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I would increase my voluntary salah, make some more dua, probably pray my salah with other people instead of alone, and go back to jumuah (i havent been going and i miss it). overall increase my rememberance of Allah

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

things id like to accomplish in this life inshaallah (based on first thing that comes to mind)

-memorize the Quran

-get married 

-travel with my future husband everywhere (inshaallah inshaallah)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

my mom honestly. sometimes we go on little adventures (thrift stores, short walks, cafes, or even grocery shopping) and she gets excited over the cutest things like teacups and stuff and she works so hard for her business and she balances so much on top of her normal responsibilities mashaallah shes such a great role model may Allah protect her and reward her for everything she does ameen

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I would say my childhood was average, there were a few times where ive gone through rough patches but theyve made me who i am today and I’m thankful for that. 

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

a couple nights ago in front of my mom, i got overwhelmed with a bunch of things that stressed me out and she knew something was up and she asked about it so i kind of cried a bit. 

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my future husband (inshaallah). I dont know why, but it just seems that it should be him. stargazing seems like a really peaceful activity that requires comfortable quiet and that was the first thing that came to mind. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

not really.... considering the fact i’m kind of awkward at first meeting people. 

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

with maryam, shes one of my best friends and im thankful for her

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

To anyone in the room, my shahaada (bearing witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah and that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is His servant and Messenger)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re calming to look into! 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

Its a verse from the Quran that I feel like has affected my life alot, from surah Hashr ayah 59, the translation being “And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.” along with surah Ra’d ayah 28, “Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”. Lately ive been feeling alot of anxiety for issues of this dunya, and at the same time i have to be honest but I wasnt 100% with remembering Allah. I was doing it, but it wasnt with the best intentions, and I’m trying to fix it. Alhamdulillah my chest is a bit lighter and I feel calmer, as if my heart is at more ease than it was before, subhanallah. 

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

probably donate it to my community school, they really need the money for repairs. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I didnt used to be. I used to hold grudges for a long time until i realized it wasnt healthy and also it wasnt good. and then i was forgiving to people who had harmed me, but if anyone did anything to my friends i would stay mad at them even when my friends had forgiven them (at this point i was like okay tasneem chill). now i can say (alhamdulillah) that i have an okay level of forgiveness (better than what i used to have before).

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dont worry about what other people think about you because none of it matters in the end. You are beautiful. You will go through fake friends and one sided friendships and they will leave but you will find gems that will help you grow as a person and will be there for you and call you out on your mistakes for your sake so grit your teeth a bit more and ride it out, verily with hardship comes ease. drill that in your mind, repeat it, because you will go through so much difficulty and emptiness but none of it is in vain. You did not go to umd like you wanted but youre much happier here alhamdulillah and you’ll see why. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel! definetly pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I’ve been exposed to cultures where nose piercings are normal, and i have my ears pierced. for myself i wouldnt want to go past either of those but people are free to pierce whatever they want. Tattoos mehhhhhh i wont judge anyone who has them but theyre not allowed in Islam. personally i prefer henna. 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i wear whatever im in the mood/energy for on each given day, but if its a big even i do a full face (what i consider full face is foundation/concealer and my eyes/eyebrows, plus occasional highlight) I dont have time in my routine for eyeshadow or learning how to do it. On class days that i do wear it it’ll range from fresh face to eyebrows and eyeliner+mascara. 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

Donald Trump, you are the shittiest human being in the world. (not changing this) 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

(has not been to a concert)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

red bc its cool

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

zaynub, maryam, hibaaq, afraah, and raneem and maybe somewhere in dc or an art museum or a city with cafes OH YEAH A CAT CAFE 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i saw this fanart of a hijabi airbender and it was so freaking cool i wanted to do a costume party and do a hijabified avatar character bc thats sick as heck

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

lol the most high ive been was at the dentist office off of laughing gas and my limbs were falling off the chair and i was laughing my head off 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

i’d rather only listen to one song because i love the people i surround myself with and i cant choose just one. 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

for me it was kind of heart painful. my heart would miss the person a bit after they passed by and it would go on for months... wishing for another way to see them even if its just a few seconds, the feeling that you’ve met before and wish to meet again, and after a long time when you think you’re over them, they show up and it all starts over. 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i’ve been told id look good in short hair and ive always wanted to try it?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

honestly my drinks vary but i usually like eating the turkey egg white sandwich. not even myself bc i never know what i want from there *nervous sweats*

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

making it to Paradise via pleasing Allah (SWT)