#bc unhealthy interactions feel safer to a trauma brain than healthy ones
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Bpd is wild bc you'll think you're fine and then it will be like: wow thats a nice healthy relationship you have with sexuality, dont mind me im just gonna poke around and mess with it a bit. no dont worry i'll just be real reckless and impulsive with it, its fine.
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#not me thinking i didnt have it anymore only for her to come back swinging with a fucking steel chair#LIKE BESTIE#can we cool it?#and shes like: i want to break shit#me: not my life right?? :)) not my life right????!!!#thank god my brain decided to be helpful and cordon all of my bpd off into two wild impulsive people in my head#no yeah that's chill#no its cool. one of them literally has the job to wreck my life and draw me into bad situations#bc unhealthy interactions feel safer to a trauma brain than healthy ones#i swear i feel like an exhausted parent with a backpack leash child whos trying to run into traffic at every possible moment#like. GIRL. is this helping??? is this helping???! who is this helping??!!?#i'll kill you. electric chair.#anywayyyyyy i keep going on dates with men and expecting to feel anything except platonic camaraderie#like! this dude is really nice! hes sweet! hes really cool! as a friend.#cant believe im literally friendzoning guys I'm deliberately trying to date#WHAT IS THIS. AM I 14 AGAIN???#can we cut it out yet??
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