#bc this meant a lot to me but also like. why would she just assume that's what i meant if she didn't already see me as a kinda rude person

[bumblingbabooshka]

When the only person who might understand what happened- understand. Not sympathize or empathize or comfort you but understand what happened, isn't there anymore. Or: 'A Man Made Me Do Something I Didn't Want To', for when you can't talk about it or look it in the eye [Patreon | Commissions]

[protectcosette]

the way that i am constantly hurt by people assuming i'm being mean and then judging me on that instead of actually seeing what i'm saying

[the-inheritance-games]

SPOILERS!!!! 3s THEORY

I'm actually very proud of this theory rn and feel like a hawthorne for thinking of this, like I might actually be on to something here

Ok so I had a thought and its stuck in my mind

So we all know that Odette said some vague and confusing thing about “ There are always three”

And I think I have a good theory as to what it means

That being, I think that this phrase is a play on or nod to some of these other common sayings about threes

“Everything comes in threes”

“Bad things come in three” /“Good things come in threes”

“Death comes in threes”

Or “Omne trium perfectum” which means “everything that comes in threes is perfect” in Latin

These are all common saying about things happening in threes or what threes means

And I specifically think that Odette meant something about good/bad or life/death events happening in 3s

Or even about beginning/ending events happening (bc we all know she knows about Alphas and Omegas beginning and end)

I think this BECAUSE if you look back at where Odette says this you'll see that she says this in RESPONSE to grayson saying “she DIED before I was BORN”

Grayson says his grandmother DIED BEFORE he was BORN and demands she EXPLAIN

He obv meant explain how is it possible for Alice to be the “A hawthorne did this” culprit but he doesnt specify explain what he just says explain and Odette probably choose to interpret that vaguely and gave an answer that “explains” or simplifies the reasons why Alice “died” and Graysons was “born” and says “there are always three”

Like she's saying “well everything comes in threes”/ “life and death happen in threes” that's the karmic reasoning why she “died” and you were born

And so obv Alices death and Grays birth are 2 life/death events and the third (or really FIRST) event would have been Tobys “death”

Which his death would also be the catalyst for both Alice’s death and Graysons birth

Bc Grayson would have never been born is Skye wasn't grieving her brother and although now we know Alice didnt die of grief id still say its safe to assume whatever happened was triggered by the loss of her son.

So the “thee” that Odette is referring to is Toby “died”, Alice “died”, Grayson is born

Everything comes in threes

But while I think this is what Odette meant when she choose to say this in response to Graysons demands for her to explain things I don't think that this is all that this phrase “There is always three” means, it has broader implications and could probably mean a lot of things

Its a vague and versatile phrase that Odette has heard many times, maybe as a warning. But there is definitely more to it, if I am right or heading in the right direction with my theory, then it could mean a lot of things and be important later on.

Also one last thing

I find it interesting how one of the common phrases “Omne trium perfectum” means everything that comes in threes is perfect and if my theory is correct then this would make GRAYSON one of the “things that comes in threes” and how in this phrase that would make him “perfect”

And we all know that he was the grandson who was GROOMED to be “perfect”

Could this be the reason that HE was “the chosen one”?

Was he the one Tobias choose bc he was part of the things that came in threes and has that karmical connection to Alice?

Idk but, its all very intriguing to me, and I can see so much potential and foreshadowing withing this little phrase that JLB very specifically used

[stil-lindigo]

okay so, not entirely sure what the last anon was on about (and it very well could be a troll just trying to bait. they really should have at least brought up what they meant if they wanted to appear in good faith), but it may be in relation to "drink up" and how it attracted terf attention on twitter? (which I know you addressed btw, so I hope this doesn't come across as an attack or anything)

personally, I think the phrase "our only natural predator" might have appealed to terf rhetoric just a little (but that's my opinion - I very well could be 100% wrong). I have my own personal feelings on the use of "natural" in the phrase (men don't naturally prey on women like animal predators do their prey - if anything, it's unnatural, deliberately chosen behavior - and it reminds me of the excuse that "it's just naturally how men are," like "boys will be boys." HOWEVER, I see how that phrasing ties into the "lioness/women turning it around and preying on the predator" theme, so honestly it works well there), but aside from all that, I can also see why it might've attracted terfs: bc they very often view and frame trans women as male predators to cis women. I know that's definitely not how you intended it though!!

and this also isn't meant as a nitpick to your work, so my apologies if that's how it comes across. I really like your art and your writing (and "drink up" has a very cool theme)! it's just that I can see how terfs might've interpreted it a certain way. it's not your fault that they viewed it like that though, and you've made it very clear you're NOT down with trans exclusionary BS. so that's literally the only thing I could see anon complaining about tbh, assuming they're not just being a troll. also I'm sorry for the super long message (I have an issue w/ typing too much smh). I just thought I'd share my thoughts on it in case it's at all helpful, but also this might just be annoying to read instead, so honestly feel free to just discard it if you prefer!

It’s not annoying at all anon, and I appreciate you taking the time to send this in. The comic you’re talking about is one I think back on with a lot of regret. It was made in a furious haze after a big time female streamer revealed that she was being mentally abused for years by her husband, where he would waste her hard earned money, threaten her dogs and her livelihood and overall be a monster to the woman who was their primary breadwinner. The reaction online to this information by her largely male audience was so genuinely vile and violently misogynistic that I made the comic, without thinking broadly about the implications you’ve already pointed out. In reality, the comic was meant to talk about how all women (cis and trans) suffer under the patriarchy and how the label of womanhood can often be an open call for baseless derision, dehumanisation and entitlement at many levels.

TERFS quickly co-opted the comic, and I’ll always regret ever giving them an opportunity to feel empowered and validated by my art, but I’ve learned from the experience overall to do better by my trans siblings. Thank you for engaging in good faith - I hope my behaviour now and in the future can make up for past mis-steps.

[sapphic-agent]

I really hope my ask won't be seen as mean, hope to word correctly....bc your last post about how Eri and Shig do share some common ground. I agree but it irks me how LoV stans use this to make shig sound not so bad.

Many fics and arts where "shig saved Eri" exists as Eri is an accessory for Shig and nothing else.

I do see the paralels here. I do wonder about the mother....did overhaul killed her?

It's very convenient for the heroes to label Eri's quirk as good ...bc if she had just decay...she would be label as having a bad quirk. Maybe the heroes wouldn't care much. (Makes me wonder where are the healing quirks or medical advancement in this world)

But while they have a similar backstory...how Izu would possible know? I sincerely ask here bc AM went radio silence regards Shig to Izu, same with Gran and the police did a really lousy investigation (I'm assuming is lousy bc we don't see what they did and whatever they did it was one time thing) and didn't share the infos with Izu.

Does Izu knows about the nomus?

Im even surprised he knows shig is TENKO...but of course, such reveal is underwealming as fuck and him and Nana don't take at all.

Izu is mistreated by the narrative and no one talks to him ever.

Not to harpy on your post bc I agree this could have been useful....but like how Izu would know anything about Shig? Unless Shig tells or Izu becames the best hacker ever...or reads mind...he can't know. Ever.

I've said this before, but the reason Izuku doesn't understand Shigaraki is because they haven't interacted enough prior to the Final War.

Their conversation at the mall was a good moment. It shows that a) Izuku has the capacity to resonate with a villain's intent AND disagree with their actions (Stain), b) Shigaraki at this point didn't have a goal or direction, and c) it IS possible for Izuku to understand why hero society is corrupt. It also highlights the differences between them, attempting to show them as complete opposites.

The mall scene was a great way to explain the dynamic between them. And it's something that should have been expanded on throughout the story.

Admittedly, I don't know how Shigaraki's backstory would come up. But I'm sure it wouldn't be a hard thing to do. Didn't All Might pull up Tenko Shimura's disappearance? Maybe Izuku figures it out on his own somehow. Idk.

But to me, it doesn't even specifically have to be Tenko's actual past. It could be an implied thing that Izuku learns from watching how people treat Eri. Hell, part of him already has a clue from his fight with Shinsou.

(One thing I actually hate about Izuku's character is his inability to acknowledge the corruption of society despite being a victim of it. He started off being able to do this with Stain, but for some reason that just went away. He studies under Endeavor, even defends him to Dabi and tells Todoroki he's ready to forgive him. Lady Nagant spelled it out for him and he just... Doesn't react. Doesn't even think about what she said. This is on Horikoshi's awful writing decisions, but it's the one criticism of Izuku that's 100% valid)

Eri shouldn't be used for Shigaraki's redemption. I honestly wouldn't want her around any of the LOV, that's putting her in danger to make another character look better. It's the same issue that I have with Aizawa making Bakugou watch her.

But I do think that Izuku's experiences with the people around him- which includes Eri- should give him a broader worldview. That's typically how development and growth work. If Izuku was going to reach out and try to save Shigaraki, it should have been with an understanding of how society failed Shigaraki.

Saving him also could have meant a lot of different things. Saving Shigaraki from AFO's influence/brainwashing wasn't a bad goal. Saving him from himself, though, is different. People have to want to change, you can't make them. You can give them support, but Izuku wasn't in a position to do so because he's, y'know, a sixteen year old who isn't even an official pro hero. Of course he wasn't equipped for this. Most actual pros wouldn't have been

[lyrakanefanatic]

Grayson and phone girl hcs!!!!

- He’s Folklore coded

- Shes midnights coded (or red idk)

- Grayson hates sweet coffees and takes his coffee black

- phone girl takes her coffee with one milk and 2 sugars

- Grayson loves taking photos of her

- he also loves spoiling phone girl, but she hates being spoiled (yes she has yelled at him multiple times for getting her expensive gifts but he gets her them anyway)

- she didn’t know how to swim well before but then Grayson taught her

- her and Grayson play chess together and at first he won most the games, but then phone girl started catching up and winning aswell

- when phone girl told Grayson her favourite book, he immediately started reading it so she would have someone to talk to about it 💖💖

- forehead kisses and neck kisses!!!!

- she’s close with all of graysons brothers but ESPECIALLY close with Jameson (I just feel like they would be bsfs)

- movie nights are sacred to them!!

- graysons close with her mom and is always so kind to her (🤭💖💖💖)

- thea showed phone girl the video of Grayson singing karaoke in tights and she didn’t shut up about it for like 3 months 💀

- she’s a super light sleeper, meanwhile grayson can sleep through a war (the final gambit atonement night chapter says he’s a deep sleeper LMAO)

- grayson contrasts silver, phone girl contrasts gold

- Grayson realized he liked her before she realized she liked him (and when she did realize she didn’t want to accept it bc his grandfather was kinda the reason her dad died)

- she’s close with both of his sisters but ESPECIALLY close with Savannah, and the two of them hang out all the time

- one night, grayson got really drunk, like blackout drunk, and accidentally told all of his brothers that he liked phone girl, (which honestly they saw coming) and he had a really nice heart-to-heart with them. He talked about why he loved her and how he loved her the second he called his phone, and then ruined the heartfelt moment by throwing up on the carpet

- when gigi first met phone girl, (I’d assumed she’d meet her kind of late into the games) she thought that she was the “girlfriend” Grayson was talking about in tbh, and without a hint of irony in her voice, asked “so, you like limes?”

- phone girl was immediately confused and asked her what she meant, but Grayson switched the topic and (somehow) saved himself a lot of embarrasment

- phone girl doesn’t really like her birthday anymore because that was the day her father shot himself, so Grayson tries to do really fun and exciting stuff to distract her

- she tried getting other girls to date him, and then would be surprised when she got jealous 💀

- Nash was the first one to notice they liked each other and asked Grayson about it teasingly, and Grayson in response ended the conversation SO FAST

- she eventually found out WHY Gigi asked about the limes, and made a joke saying “ the entire world is in love with you, Grayson, and you had to make up a fake girlfriend?”

-now the lime thing is an inside joke, so whenever one of graysons brothers (or Grayson) asks where she is, she just says “I’m out buying limes”

- Avery and her are those friends that “hang out” by laying on the couch, watching movies, and going on their phones instead of actually doing stuff together (iykyk)

- Grayson was SOOO mad about Mathias liking Gigi bc he works for eve, so he told phone girl and she actually took gigis side (Grayson was shocked but gigi and phone girl immediately became bsfs after that day)

okay thats all and I know I’m talking about the inheritance games too much and it may be annoying, but trust me it will be WAY more annoying when the grandest game vault comes out 💀 (im sorry)

[myfairkatiecat]

Okay okay okay. My KOTLC oc’s from when I was 11, all recently recovered from my notes app.

Edit: upon reading it again i think the vibes are telling me I was actually 13. Still. These are old OC’s and I’m surprised by how much I adore them

These were all created when nightfall was the latest book so… do with that what you will.

But I’m falling back in love with them 🥹

@swans-chirping-in-the-distance @sophieswundergarten @thesmartpaladin @autistic-daydreamer (since you guys asked about them :D)

Names (in order):

Avana Crane

Kaslyn Crane

Timon Kester

Haylyn Zuni

Danisa Madella

Bios are below the cut!

Avana Crane

- works for the Neverseen as a double agent for the Black Swan. Works for the Black Swan as a double agent for the Neverseen. Both organizations think they are on their side. Only she knows what side she is on… and even then, she’s not really sure. She just wants change and knows one way or another, one of these groups will eventually succeed.

- she hides the fact that she ever manifested an ability so no one can prepare for what she can do. She uses the fact that she is “talentless” as her reason for distrusting the council to get both the neverseen and black swan to feel sympathetic for her. (She is a mesmer. Her chaos capabilities with this being a secret are impossible to match.) I headcanon that neither organization ever had a real reason to probe her mind, but if anything about it comes up in her memories when someone looks through her mind, she blushes and says she always daydreams about having this super powerful special ability since she never got one, and since she’s seventeen and there’s no reason for them to assume she’d hide an amazing ability during a time of her life when she should want to be accepted, everyone just goes with it.

- Never really works close to Sophie and her friends in the black swan, but gets to know Keefe while he’s with the neverseen. He’s really bad at pretending he doesn’t care about the Moonlark, but as someone who is playing both sides expertly, Avana can’t judge him… she does MAJORLY ship Sokeefe though.

- Mr. Forkle absolutely knows she has loyalties all over the place. He also knows she has a special ability. He shares this information with no one because he is very impressed with how effective she is at making things happen and doesn’t want to jeopardize that—and she clearly meant it when she said “I will do everything in my power to help my world” when swearing fealty. He is the ONLY one who knows. Nobody with the neverseen has a clue.

Kaslyn Crane

@kaslynspeaks I literally named this character when I was eleven, but now that I look at her name again all I can think of is you lol

- Avana’s little sister (fourteen years old)

- Beguiler & Polyglot

- mainly exists to give Avana a reason to burst into tears and play the “I just want the future to be better for my sister” card with both rebel groups (despite the fact that her sister is… three years younger than her) and to be Timon Kester’s eventual love interest!

- has an impossible crush on Keefe Sencen. Avana has heard his name multiple times out of the mouth of her little sister by the time she meets him with the neverseen, which is part of why she’s so quick to trust him. However, Kaslyn is more than aware that he’ll never love anyone but Sophie… she just deludes herself sometimes!

Timon Kester

- Timon was adopted by his aunt and uncle after his parents decided they didn’t want him anymore. He manifested as a polyglot at age 13, and his parents said this was an essentially useless ability on its own. Timon didn’t want to stay with them anyway. They were the worst

- Timon and Kaslyn are good friends and talk to each other in other languages just to mess with their friends. Timon likes Kaslyn a LOT, but Kaslyn is, as previously mentioned, hopelessly in love with Keefe Sencen (who barely knows she exists). Timon wonders if he should start acting out bc of home troubles… maybe that would get Kaslyn’s attention…

- Timon sorta wants to join the Black Swan after hearing little stuff about it since it’s become sorta mainstream to know about it by nightfall. He’s like hey that’s cool, I like what they seem to stand for… however the ticket in at this point seems to be having a shared traumatic experience with Sophie Foster and Timon has zero idea how to get one of those

- Timon thinks Kaslyn’s older sister is REALLY sketchy, but he can’t say that because he’s afraid of seeming prejudiced against talentless people. Avana gives him weird vibes though.

Haylyn Zuni

- Haylyn is a hydrokinetic in level one at foxfire that Linh has taken under her wing

- She is eleven and also is VERY young to manifest. Linh recognizes herself in Haylyn and bonds with her quickly, helping her control her powers

- Haylyn asks Linh about joining the black swan exactly once. Linh says it involves a lot of almost-dying and Haylyn goes back on this, saying she’s happy to support the black swan but definitely doesn’t need in on the almost-dying thing.

- Haylyn thinks Marella is AWESOME. Since Linh and Marella hang out a lot, Haylyn sees Marella around quite a bit. One time, Haylyn tells Marella how cool pyrokinesis, and how part of her wishes she got to be a pyrokinetic. Marella is absolutely shellshocked and realizes that the prejudice against her ability isn’t being taught as strongly in school as it used to be, and that real progress is being made. Haylyn tells Linh that she’s glad she’s a hydrokinetic though because it means she gets to play water with her. Haylyn is ADORABLE.

**side note: I characterized eleven-year-old Haylyn as VERY juvenile for someone who was currently eleven at the time. I am… sort of thrown off by this??? Like I LOVE Haylyn, but come on Little Katie, you were literally her age…**

Danisa Madella

- Danisa is Haylyn’s friend her age!!

- she hasn’t manifested an ability yet but when she does, she’ll be a shade—which will throw everyone way off because she’s the most bright, sparkly person ever

- she’s super optimistic and fun and upbeat. She loves swimming with Haylyn because Haylyn makes a bunch of pretty shapes in the water

- Elvin vsco girl energy **STOP I FORGOT THAT WAS A THING**

- Danisa looks up to Sophie Foster a LOT. She’s her role model. She daydreams about finding out she’s actually going to manifest five abilities so Sophie can have a Moonlark friend, and that one day the black swan will tell her she is special and invite her to come risk her life for their cause!

- Danisa and Haylyn are friends with Galin Kester (also not yet manifested but will be a telepath, maybe I’ll make a bio for him if he becomes more relevant in my headcanon) who is Timon’s cousin (but since Timon lives with his aunt and uncle, they’re like brothers) so Danisa sees Timon a lot and has him teach her languages. She doesn’t tell him why she wants to know as many languages as possible, but secretly, she really wants to impress Sophie one day if she joins the black swan.

The Groups

- The Danisa-Haylyn-Galin friend group makes elaborate plans about how they’ll casually insert themselves into enough conversations to worm their way over to sitting with the Black Swan affiliated elves at foxfire. They never execute these plans.

- The Kaslyn-Timon-Shanla friend group consists of many of Shanla’s schemes to set Timon and Kaslyn up together. (Shanla is a guster and has even resorted to literally having the wind knock Kaslyn off her feet before. Timon forgot to catch her so the whole thing failed)

- Kaslyn and Avana used to be closer, but now that Avana graduated from Foxfire, they don’t see each other as often. (This is possibly because Avana is busy with her extreme quadruple agent scheme)

[spindle-girl]

Daybreak 1.6

let's see Victoria's power nearly kill a man (i'm assuming)

He still let go, arms slipping back through the wall.  I had a moment where I thought about grabbing one of his wrists as it passed me, and I hesitated a moment too long.

huh. guess i read the situation wrong. also, is his name snag like something gets snagged on a loose nail sticking out, only his hands are a way more dangerous nail?

Heart ripped out of my chest, just like that, just like this feeling here.  Losses, losses, fucking losses.  That ambiguous fucking word they’d used when they’d delivered the mass report.  Not deaths, not the ‘downs’ that were injured just enough they were out of the fight, just losses because they’d needed to be brief with the list of names so long.  Dean’s name had been on that list. Where?  It had taken me three tries to get the word out.  They’d told me where, but I hadn’t traveled  a straight line to get there.  I’d zig-zagged, from doctor to nurse to PRT staff.  I’d asked people who had no cause or reason to know, tried describing her.  Asking, asking.  Pleading. Where was she?  Had they seen her?  Where was the last place anyone saw her?  I need-

wait wait wait. is this implying that Amy purposely avoided healing Dean? Really? i'm going to assume not and this is Victoria looking back on all her past interactions with Amy and wondering if some poor luck was malicious instead given what proceeds to happen

i don't really like treating this as Victoria being wrong, as that seems shitty, but i can't imagine Amy would actually walk away from healing Dean

He was nimble, for a guy that big, but it seemed his mover power was responsible for most of it, his mechanical arms only helping with the legwork.  He was strong in many respects for what I was gathering was a multi-trigger.  Robust tinkerings, what felt like a full-fledged emotion affecting ability, a decent mover power.

oooh, i feel like an idiot. Snag is part of rain's cluster. that was probably obvious before this

The message had been left unfinished on my screen, only a few words of what I’d wanted to say.  Even completed, the statement wouldn’t have meant anything to the staff member, and they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.  All I’d wanted to express was that my family had missed the last two visiting days as well.

auhg. new wave continues to suck

“Go to her,” Lord of Loss said.  “Help.  I’ll let you go if you let us go.” Numb, I nodded. “Let people know it wasn’t us.  This wasn’t our plan,” he said, behind me.

so Lord of Loss seems to be an attempt at the whole, unwritten rules + cops and robbers thing, but the biggest issue with that is that Brockton Bay was never really like that and Wildbow's wog's always had some fucked up shit going on in the background that also went against it. i don't think we ever really saw it being a thing, except for some mentions of it from Legend and Tattletale. and when we went outside of BB, the closest was the Adepts i want to say, but then we had the fucked up guys in Las Vegas to balance it out, followed by the fucked up guys in Chicago. if they made a point of sending Weaver after specific groups that weren't in line with the rest of the country's villains i could buy it, but they seemed to treat it all as the norm

*i've also now read up to the interlude, which is why i'm saying some of this stuff, since the whole bar scene would fit into a dynamic like the cops and robbers stuff

End Notes:

Tempura and Lord of Loss had cool powers, but if i kept quoting cool powers i'll end up quoting half the chapter. i may end up making a list at some point

neat way to do the flashbacks. those were nice, in a sympathy-inducing way. i didn't quote a lot of it bc it just made me sad for her. also, fuck New Wave

[obislittleone]

What Once Was Mine

Chapter 11

Summary: Locked away in a house her entire life, she always dreamed of exploring the nearby kingdom for just a day, believing it could make the rest of her days in solitude bearable. What she was unaware of, was the real reason she’d been hidden away for so long. Changes comes swift like a flying dagger when a thieving bounty hunter seeks solace in the old home.

Din Djarin Royalty!AU / Tangled!AU

Pairing: Din Djarin x Princess Kryze!Reader

A/n: okay so there’s one more part after this one and then I’ll just probably start posting a series that’s like half finished but its in my drafts… and alsos the indy fic

Warnings: oh boy kinda a lot… mentions of death, having beatings take place, several scenes with blood… there’s a mention of beheading… sadness and depression idk. Uncomfortable situations fr… imprisonment and degradation again bc why not

Bo Katan sat on the stool across from you, watching with both anxiety and pride as you were being fitted with a traditional suit of Mandalorian beskar armor.

“You wear it well,” she commented, seeing the look on your face as you held the helmet in your hands. It matched the chest plate and the pauldrons in which were being placed upon each shoulder. They both carried the signet of the blue owl, and the etchings looked as though they had been carved ages ago. “I know you won’t disgrace it the way I have.”

You turned to her with sad eyes. She regrets the day she lost to Gideon, all but throwing the fight and losing everything she had in only a moment. She yielded, and that’s what everyone knew, but little did they know the cause as to why. She was a strong fighter, she would not have lost it had it not been for a certain someone.

“You did the best you could have done,” you assumed, trying to give an encouraging smile, though your nerves made the corner of your lip twitch in an awkward way.

“No, I didn’t. I gave in,” she paused, heaving a sigh and shaking off the wave of memories. “Gideon challenged me when I was only sixteen. I felt I was unready to be queen, so I faltered and let him win.”

“What?”

The surprise in your tone matched the wide eyed stare you wore on your face, the gears in your head working overtime to try and process why she might have done such a thing.

“There were things expected of me, and I wasn’t ready to commit to them… I once had a love like yours, but being queen meant I would be forced to give it up.” Her brows furrowed as she spoke of the past, an inkling in her mind wanted her to share it with you, but she was unsure if she was a good idea. You already had enough pressure on your shoulders.

“Bo,” you wanted her to feel your sympathy, to know that with your love’s life on the line, you could partially understand her feelings.

“After I lost the fight, that love was taken from me anyway. The King made fast enemies in the land, and drafted an entire army to rid him of all the people that stood in the way of his rule. The man I intended to marry was killed and I was powerless to stop it.”

“I’m sorry…” you trailed off, remaining silent for a few moments until you caught sight of yourself in the reflection of another chest plate hanging on the wall. You looked mighty and strong. “Gideon will be defeated, I promise. I will finish what you started.”

“I shall hope with everything in me that your strength will not falter in battle. I know you will do right by your hunter,” she nodded, taking the helmet from your hands and placing it atop your head. The metal felt warm around you, but the T shaped opening in the front gave you a sense of exact focus. As long as your eyes remained on Gideon, you would be set in your mission to kill him.

You’d never killed anyone before, and growing up you swore you never would, knowing the brutality of your powers was exactly why you were hidden away… you always said that violence was not your way, but this man had cheated you, lied to you and publicly humiliated you on more than one front. If all of that was not bad enough, the way he’d treated Din topped it all. The blood that had stained the edges of your beautiful green sleeves the night prior, it was thick and dark. Just like it had been when he crossed paths with death before. Your kidnapper who had tried to kill him was child’s play compared to the enemy you now faced. He held the power of the kingdom in his hands, and you needed to physically destroy him in order to stop him.

Din’s sentencing to death was paused temporarily, for the duel of rulers would take priority over the hanging of a single criminal. You only hoped he was alright, being stuck in a cage where he didn’t belong. He was like a bird with clipped wings, unable to fly or flourish or do anything in the confines of his small cell.

It was only a matter of time before you set him free, and that was what you kept your mind on as you prepared to meet your opponent.

-

You’d been given a sword and shield to battle with, though they were heavy and you didn’t really need them. You’d gone over the rules with Bo Katan several times, and every time there had not been a rule against using ones magical powers… none else ever living in Mandalore seemingly possessed them.

You’d been standing in a room, overhearing the crowd shouting in the arena outside. The horseback ride on the way to said location was short, barely outside of the castle walls, but it gave you too much time to think about how things might possibly go wrong. You were stronger than him by far, and your motivation to fight was growing even now, but a small yet powerful voice in your head told you it was going to end poorly. You could lose your footing or get distracted. If you let your guard down even once, it would be over.

The door opening stopped your intrusive thoughts from rampaging, but the face on the other side made your skin crawl.

“What are you doing here?”

King Gideon chuckled darkly before entering the room. He was alone, but that didn’t make him any less of a threat at the moment. You couldn’t touch a hair on his head before the canon sounded, but anything he said or did now could easily take your mindset and make it even worse.

“If you’d care to take a quick stroll, I think there’s something you should see,” he spoke heavy, a smirk rising to his cheeks. He held his hand out towards the doorway, and you knew that he wouldn’t leave until you followed along with his charade, so you passed him and walked through the door. You noticed that with all your armor and thick sole boots, you were almost as large in frame as he was. It made you feel stronger in some way.

“Make it quick,” you turned to him, not allowing a hint of emotion to show through your voice. You wouldn’t let him have anything on you, not one show of anger or even a clenched fist to show he’d caused it.

His steps were mockingly slow from there, but it didn’t take long before he reached a staircase. He gestured for you to go first, and you did, climbing up what you counted to be three flights before there was another door. You looked back to the King, and he nodded, so you entered. You appeared to be on the top level of the arena, overlooking the kingdom. Three stories up, and you wondered if he’d perhaps dragged you up here to push you off. He was still King, and if he had, he’d be the ruler nonetheless, even if it was a cowardly move, he could still do it.

“If you’d care to sight see with me, I believe you’ll find a particular scene down there to your interest.”

You shifted your eyes over the ledge, and froze to your place.

Your small green child was held in a cage meant for a bird, his coos and cries for help being ignored by the palace guards keeping watch. On the ground beside him was Din, curling in on himself as three men beat him to a pulp. They kicked and yelled at him, watching in fake pity as he tried his best to fight back. He was in no condition to fight in the first place, nor was he strong enough after not being fed for two days.

“Stop them,” you turned to Gideon, your fiery gaze burning through his exterior for a moment, as he almost looked afraid. You still carried the sword made of Mandalorian iron, an impenetrable metal that could cut him down where he stood. He took a step back and immediately felt the power shift. This could still work to his advantage. “Stop them, now!”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’ve given my last orders as King before the duel, and as per tradition, my rule will be ceased until it is over,” he raised his hands, as if this was not his plan all along, to lure you here and allow you to see with your own eyes the man you loved being beaten to death. “I do hope for your sake he lives until the battle, for then you have a chance to save him.”

You weren’t going to let this happen. Everything you did was to protect the ones you love, and now they were being held against their will, one of them being tortured on your behalf, simply because the King couldn’t touch you, yet.

At this very point you didn’t care about the rules, only that an end was put to this man. A man who so viscously would steal from you everything you had for the reason of revenge. You drew your sword from the sheath at your hip, swinging it over your head and straight at him. But this was what he wanted, and he’d been prepared. He ignited the Dark Saber and blocked your strike, counter attacking and hitting your vambrace, which burned like fire. You retreated for only a second before again throwing the blade towards his body, which was deflected for a second time by his glowing weapon. It turned the metal of the sword red with heat, and not even a moment later, the sword was hit away from your hands by another rough strike.

Gideon stared you down, the saber inches away from your neck. You could feel the warmth emanating from where it was held, and tried your best to stay still. Even a flinch could end your life.

“Save it for the arena,” he said smugly before disengaging his weapon and handing yours back to you. You took it quickly, and turned to leave. If there was still time, you could tell Bo about the guards behind the building. She was a skilled fighter, perhaps she could stop them from killing Din until the fight was over.

As soon as you reached the bottom of the stairs, you’d been pulled by the arm.

“Where were you? It’s less than two minutes until the canon is lit,” Mayfeld seemed stressed, like he’d been looking for you for ages. Truth be told, you weren’t supposed to leave the room they put you in until it was time, so already you’d gotten them on the tips of their toes.

“Mayfeld, you have to listen to me,” you tried to make him stop walking, to slow down at least so the words could come out while he was paying attention.

“It’ll have to wait until after the fight. You’re supposed to be out there already,” he kept on, practically dragging you with him until you reached a chain drawn entrance, the wooden slab being lowered to the ground.

“No, you don’t understand he’s-“

“You’re going to be fine, just remember what Bo said.”

And with that, you were shoved into the arena. You turned towards the center of it, hearing the people of the land cheering. You stood in fear of the events around you, seeing as though you had been thrust into the middle with no where to go. There was only one way out, and that was the death of Gideon, the faux King of Mandalore.

You looked to the other side of the arena, and sure enough… the second wooden slab was lowered until it hit the dirt, and behind it stood your opponent. His stance was wide, and it angered you to see how arrogantly he strolled in. His weapon was activated, and he dragged it next to him in the dirt, creating small fits of dust to fly in the air behind his steps.

He stopped about ten feet away from you, pointing to the top of the arena where you both were just standing only minutes ago. The canon had been raised, and the fuse had been lit, the flame getting closer and closer until the loud boom was heard, echoing through the sky.

You held your weapon steady, making sure your helmet was secure before charging him. You struck first, making contact with his saber, while he quickly rebuttals against you. You were fired up, and so was he. The crowd was only background noise as this feud ending battle commenced.

-

Bo had been made aware of the hunter’s disappearance from his cell. She snuck in that morning to try and get him into a safer location until after the fight, but found that he’d been removed, the cell at the end of the block being completely empty when she went in. She hadn’t however found him in time to prevent the horrendous beatings he’d received. At the sound of the canon, she left her place on the ground level of the arena, going outside to inspect the guards that had been rotating to a discreet location.

When she saw the hunter on the ground, covered in his own blood, she leapt into action immediately. She pulled the knives from her boots and threw them straight forward, killing out the only guards who had been armed. They dropped to the ground before her as the other three stopped their attack on Din to focus on her. She was a threat by all means, and they remember the fight she put up at her young age of sixteen. Now, it was likely she could kill a man with her bare hands.

“Who’s first?” She quipped, stepping in front of Din and tilting her head to the one in the center. He looked as if he was waiting to get a piece of her, and was all too confident he would be able to. “You.”

Just as anticipated, he ran towards her, arms flailing about and voice ringing out a battle cry. He was all bark, unfortunately, as she caught him before he made contact, gripping under his shoulder and twisting just right until his shoulder was out of socket. She grabbed his neck and bashed his head over her knee and he went down to the ground, writhing in pain and out of his clear consciousness as the next man charged after her. She kicked out in front of her this time, letting his weight carry him backwards, all she had to do then was land a hard sock on his jaw and he collapsed over top of the last one. The man left standing was not in any hurry to rush her, but he’d been waiting, watching strategically until the others were out of the way. He would wait for her to make the first move, he was the smart one.

She had come to the conclusion he would wait for her, so she turned to Din, seeing that he’d started to pick himself up, and gave him an order. “Take the child, and go.”

He was barely able to hold himself at a seating position, but he gave a nod, beginning to drag himself towards the bird cage sat in the corner atop a barrel.

Bo faced the man head on, taking one step, two, three, and then one more. She struck him hard in the shoulder, and he stumbled back, but didn’t fall. He came back at her with force, blocking her attempt at a kick and using her leg as momentum to send her into the wall. Her back hit the concrete hard, and she nearly lost the air from her lungs, but she wasn’t finished. He came closer, and she feigned lack of awareness long enough to get him right in front of her. From there she let the knee jerk upwards, kicking him between the legs and hearing him groan. He didn’t back off like she’d hoped, and grabbed her fists, holding her to the wall. He used his own knee as a way to mock her, jabbing into her stomach several times until she felt sick. She tried to bend over in hopes it would soothe the pain, but he grabbed her throat, pushing her against the wall once more and looking her straight in the eye.

“You’re weak now, just like you were then.”

And suddenly, the pressure on her throat was gone. The man in front of her stood still, his features becoming like ice, and then he fell to the ground. Bo took in a deep breath, leaning over like she’d intended to earlier. She saw the arrow that had pierced the back of the man before her, and looked up to see Mayfeld rushing to her aid while holding a cross bow. She had never been so grateful to see him.

“Are you alright?” He gave her a hand and helped her to stand straight, looking her over for any additional injuries.

“I’m fine,” she told him, squeezing his hand lightly to assure him what she said was true. “How’s the fight?”

“Bad… she’s losing.”

The last thing Mayfeld saw before coming to find Bo was you getting knocked down, unable to get up for the way Gideon stepped on your chest plate.

Bo looked to the end of the alley, seeing Din holding the child and barely beginning to hobble away. He used the wall to lean against, but she knew they could help him easier. She knew what they needed to do in order for the fight to be turned around.

“She needs to see him,” she muttered, taking steps towards the man as he barely turned the corner. “Hunter..”

He turned as quickly as he could, careful not to drop the kid in the process of doing so.

“Come with me,” she took the child from his hands, handing him off to Mayfeld who followed her over. “Can you walk?”

He tried to push himself away from the wall and take a step, but he nearly fell to his knees. His grunts of pain when Bo caught him meant he was injured to the point of being bed ridden. She hauled him back up, tossing his arm over her shoulder, and began to strong arm him towards the gate of the arena. Hoping that if she could just get him into your view, it would change the ending of this battle.

He groaned with every step they took, but didn’t complain, and kept on towards the entrance, hearing the loud echoes of cheers whilst the competitors fought to the death. He looked down the tunnel, and saw something he hoped he’d never see.

You were on the ground, back against the dirt, while Gideon knelt over top of you. His saber was so close to your face, you felt as if you might catch on fire. Your sword was the only thing standing in the way of your fast approaching death, and you knew you had nothing left in you. You would die at the hands of an evil man, one who may have killed the ones you love, one who abuses his power, and the people he’s supposed to care for.

You looked into his eyes, your scared expression was evident, and he reveled in it. To see the fear in your eyes before he killed you, it felt too good to be true. Everything he’d said and done before this fight was the reason it was going the way it had. You couldn’t focus your power enough to use it, and every time you tried, it only backfired on a worse attack towards you.

“You were my biggest foe, princess, a worthy opponent. I will remember you during the rest of my rule,” he leaned in closer, forcing his blade so close it singed the hair that had been sticking out of it’s binds. You’d lost your helmet about thirty seconds into the battle, and nothing was stopping him from running you through to the ground.

You closed your eyes, ready to except your fate…

“Mesh’la,” the whisper was not even heard aloud, but in your mind. Whatever power you still possessed in you was willing you to hear his words, spoken under his breath and practically into the void.

You opened your eyes, turning your head to catch the sight. The tunnel was opened, and hanging onto Bo Katan was your hunter, the one this was all about. He looked bruised and bloody, but he was here, and he was alive. Standing behind him was Mayfeld, who cautiously held onto your small green child, the one you’d been in companionship with for so long, now. They were both here, and you weren’t going to let them watch you get killed, not at the hands of this man.

Din wasn’t sure how, but he knew you had heard him.

You gathered all the strength in your body and pulled your legs in, kicking his body off of you and back several feet. He was quickly steadied again, as were you, but your stare was no longer afraid, it was determined. This was the gaze he’d been so frightened of before.

You lunged for him, swinging over your head and across your body, hitting his saber multiple times before he tripped and fell back on the ground. You used your power to pull the Dark Saber from his hands and into your own. He barely made it to his knees before you were stood over him, both blades crossed by his throat, waiting to behead him.

He looked up to you, speechless as to how you were able to accomplish this feat. He had always been arrogant, but pride comes before a fall, and his knees could attest to that.

“Last words?”

He swallowed in a shaky manner. Let it not be said that he would die with words unspoken… he’d rather not die at all.

“Allow me to make a deal on my surrender,” he pleaded, begging for the same chance he’d given Bo Katan all those years ago. He may have spared her life, but you weren’t thinking of being so kind in return. Of all the things he’d done, he deserved to die on this field.

You stood still for a moment, and pondered what your terms of a deal may be.

“I offer you two more days, of which you will be beaten until you cannot stand, and starved from any sustenance you may require… sundown on the second day you will be executed,” you stopped for a moment to see the look on his face become even more grim. The man was a shell of himself, and of that you were proud. “Death by hangman’s noose.”

It was comical, really. Two more days to live out the torture he’d put Din through, only to die anyways, in the same way he’d meant for Din to die. He was not going to be permitted to live, because even behind closed bars, he was dangerous… you also knew he would never accept the deal.

“If you will only mock me, do away with me, now.”

The famous last words of King Gideon the ruthless.

The blades crossed each other and slid with ease, ridding the world of the man who ruled this land with tyranny. You’d never killed anyone in your life, but this didn’t feel wrong, it felt empowering. You’d slain the enemy, just as the knights in your stories would slay dragons and viscous beasts that scoured the land.

You heard the crowd erupt once more, and a loud announcement, but you paid no mind to it. You began to run, your slight limp carrying you to the tunnel with which your hunter was waiting. He fell into your arms as Bo let go of his form, and though your strength was again wavering, you held him close as if he were the most important thing in the world. You were too worn to heal him for now, and you might be for a day or two, but you could spend that time taking care of him in other ways, simply being by his side and making sure he was there with you.

-

The light peering in through the window of the Queen’s suite was only bright enough to make a small beam that reflected onto the ground. It was early morning, but the sun rose earlier here than it did in other parts of the kingdom. The castle always saw the first light.

Din shifted uncomfortably in bed, his shoulders still being the sorest part of him. He was rather broad, like the west mountains that separated Mandalore from the hillside people of Nog. He was broad and strong, but he felt he was anything else at the moment. He tried to sit up, but a pain shot through him and he groaned.

That’s when he saw you, rushing to his aid from a lounge seat that you’d undoubtedly been sleeping on through the night. You gently grabbed his upper arm, trying to get him to lay back down.

“Easy, big guy,” you knew he was probably confused as to where he was, since he’d practically passed out on the horse ride back to the castle, and required major help in getting to your chambers. Everyone insisted he go back to his own, that others could care for him easily there, but you weren’t about to let him out of your sight as long as you could help it. You were a good care taker, yet only one could ever attest to that, and he didn’t talk. “You shouldn’t be up.”

“Did you sleep on the chair?” He responded almost immediately, though it was not what you were thinking he’d say. It was very much like him to be falling apart and in need of constant care, yet being too concerned for your own being to obey your directions. He sat straight up, looking to you for an answer.

“Yes, I wanted to be close to you.”

He furrowed his brow and reached out for you. It hurt the muscles in his body to do so, but he grabbed your hand anyways.

“Could have slept with me, Mesh’la,” he whispered just loud enough to hear, bringing your hand to his mouth for a kiss. You smiled at the gesture but shook your head.

“The physician told me you were not to be disturbed,” you sat down next to him, allowing yourself to disturb him only a little for the sake of your comfort, and the need to feel him beside you. “Everything that happened yesterday, and the day before… it’s almost impossible that you were able to make it out alive.”

“If your plan was to get rid of me, you’re going to have to try harder than that.”

Your soft chuckle was music to his ears, as he’d not heard it in days, and thinking about it was one of the only things keeping him on his feet whilst all he wanted to do was fall. You gripped his hand that was holding yours, squeezing it once before letting go and beginning to get up.

“You should eat something,” you turned to him while pulling on a dressing robe, much thicker than the one you were used to. It would keep you warm until the sun had fully risen, as parts of the castle were freezing in the early morning. “I’ll be back.”

“Stay with me,” he pleaded, just as you had done a few nights prior. That night had been so beautiful, it only made sense that Gideon would have ruined it… but now he was gone for good, and no one would ever be disgraced by him again. You looked back to Din and saw the fave h was giving you. “Please.”

You were a victim of those brown eyes, you swore they’d be the death of you… and what a wonderful way to go. There was no way you’d ever deny him, not when he sat there on your bed, looking like the human personification of softness. You shrugged off your robe, laying it back over the chair it had been in earlier, and crossed the room to where he was sat. You threw up the sheets and blankets and crawled in beside him, laying down on the pillow and looking up at him.

He ran his fingers over the side of your face, tracing the outline of your cheek and jaw, finally reaching down to your neck. There was a burn scar forming there, not even an inch wide but evident enough to him.

“Pretty girl,” he muttered, thinking out loud. The words hit your ears and made you smile, which in turn spread a grin across his own face. He hadn’t kissed you since your shared dance on the cobblestones of the castle garden, and he felt he needed to. Leaning down the way he did should have hurt him tremendously, but something about the way your lips met his made all the pain subside. It was quick and gentle, but it sustained him.

You wished for more, but weren’t about to push your bounds, knowing he was definitely still in pain that he would never admit to.

He laid beside you and opened his arms for you to scoot in. It was very improper, for him to hold you this way and under the blankets of your own bed, but it was only you and him, and the door blocking you both from the outside world was not to be crossed by any means. Bo was taking care of everything in the Kingdom for now, as you’d asked her to do so until Din was on his feet. You were the Queen, now… though there was no official coronation, you were acting ruler of Mandalore. It would be a large responsibility, but you felt you were up to the task. Din knew this as well, for he saw the kindness of your heart and the goodness of your mind. All those years of innocence really shaped your outlook on the world, and you still beheld it with beauty. He only hoped that all the horrible things you’d been through wouldn’t give you a bitterness that may oppose your gentle spirit.

The sun kept rising, and the day began… but you and your hunter were tucked away from the busying kingdom, finding rest and comfort in each other after a trial of great proportions.

-

Tags: @i-ameri-cant@littlemisspascal@fanfics-toread@icanbeyourjedi@castleallherown@mysticalgalaxysalad @princess-prettyy @67impalagirl13@agingerindenial@childrenofthewatch@insomniac-nerd-posts-things@marjoherbo@juletheghoul-main@tiredbuthappy@themand0lorian@janebby@goldielocks2004@yuiopiklmn ​ @oh-no-who-am-i ​ @appleejuice ​ @luxmundee @belovedadam @seninjakitey ​@harriedandharassed @notsosecretspy

[pray4saint]

crush culture

masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 13+. fem!reader. swearing. toxic, manipulative, near abusive ex mention. use of 'y/n'. lyrics are out of order. crush denial. 1.5k words. in reponse to @ghostworrjed 's ask bc i accidentally wrote it wrong & posted it lmao.

a/n. STOP IT ILY. first fic for this event is a conan gray song n im living for it | the last paragraph was rushed bc the song was starting to give me a headache

crush culture by conan gray | this is apart of my 500 follower event!

”i'm done! okay, i'm done! are you fucking happy now?!” you'd screamed, reaching for your keys off the dresser. your boyfriend stared up at you from the couch, a dark look in his eye that made your hands tremble in just the slightest. behind you, you'd already started to turn the door handle and pull it, opening the door, still facing him. ”yeah, i am. you know why?” you didn't want to say anything, you wanted to leave. but as if his words were a drug, you responded, ”why?” breathless, your eyes giving way to your fear. the man sat far from you smiled, the same smile that always told you things weren't going to end well. ”because you'll come back. because we love each other.” despite how he meant it sound, you could still feel the venom spat from his mouth. you could feel it tingle against your skin, you could feel it in the air as you slammed the door shut, anger and sadness fighting to stay behind your eyes, you could feel it on the hoodie you were wearing that was actually his.

you'd gone to stay with your cousin that night. she doubled as one of your best friends and stayed up with you the entire night. she wasn't amazing at providing comfort, but she let your cry it out on her couch, she let you sleep in her guest bedroom, she took the next morning off work to stay with you. she also convinced you, along with the ill intent behind your boyfriend's words, not to go back to him.

”y/n, my dearest cousin and best friend in the entire world, can i offer you a piece of advice?” she'd asked, pulling english muffins from the toaster onto her plate. for the first time since you'd sat down to eat, you looked up from your plate. ”yeah, go ahead.”

”why don't you try.. not dating, just for a few months?” you knew to take everything your cousin said with a grain of salt, but maybe she was onto something. every time you'd gotten out of a major relationship, there was a cycle that you never strayed from, and that was; breakup, then have a rebound, then go on two dates with different people, and then dive into another long-term relationship. ”uh, yeah, i'll give it a try.” it came out more sarcastic than you meant it, but by the smile you got from her, you assumed she could tell.

by the time you'd left her house that day and were on your way back to your own place, you'd decided to take the time off from dating.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

yes, it had been a few months since your breakup with your ex. yes, your ex was still texting you, every other goddamned day.

after news of your breakup had travelled throughout your friend group and your cousin's friend group, it was a mutual friend – one neither of you had heard from in a long time – who reached out. sapnap. and recently, you'd been spending more time than you would've liked to admit with him. it slowly went from one coffee out to cheer you up a few weeks after the breakup, which mind you, took a couple of cancellations to get set up, to you texting him whenever you wanted to go out and get away from everything. the next month you were telling him what your ex would say in the texts he'd send you.

in your mind, there were no sirens, no flags raised at how much time you'd spent talking to sapnap. even when he started coming over to your place or you started going over to his place, you didn't think anything of it, because at least you had him to distract you.

i'm not falling for you, 'cause this baby is love-proof.

yes, you'd been spending a lot of time with your friend sapnap. yes, he'd started to become apart of your daily routine to talk to. yes, your cousin had raised concerns over your weekly dinner together. no, you didn't feel anything for him. you didn't feel much of anything for anyone. but when you were with him, much like when you were with your cousin or your other friends, you were smiling and laughing. you were happy.

”do you want me to order something in tonight?” sapnap asked from your couch, head hung over the back to look at you in your kitchen. lifting your head up from your fridge for the fifth time in the hour with a sigh, your head turns to him. ”yeah. can we do ubereats this time? the last time i doordashed, they forgot my sauce.” you pushed the door shut lazily, taking steps back toward the living room as he pulled his head back over the edge and opened the ubereats app on his phone. ”whatever you want.” he offhandedly smiled at you and you've could've sworn your heart stopped for a split second.

oh. shit.

the whole rest of that day you went on as if you weren't on high alert. you couldn't have a crush, not yet, because your six months weren't quite up yet. by the time it was time for him to go, you were internally panicking. just don't see him for a week, that'll fix it, that's what you told yourself.

and initially, it did work. you told sapnap you were sick, and your cousin brought your groceries over that week and all was well in the world. and when you did hang out with him next? there was no heart stopping of any kind, and so you resumed your hanging out with him how you had been for months.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

”what do you think of this?” you'd asked him over facetime, stepping back from the camera to show off the new hoodie and jeans you'd bought that you thought paired really well together. ”i like it, but i think it would look better on my floor.” your heart stopped, but not in the same way as before. this time it was from how outrageous this sounded to you.

”excuse me?” you asked, picking up the phone to bring it up really close to your face. ”you heard me.” he replied simply. nonchalantly.

oh no, don't look in their eyes, 'cause that's how they get you, kiss you then forget you

your cousin stared at you, wide-eyed, jaw slack at your story. ”listen, y/n–” you cut her off. ”i know what you're gonna say, and no, i don't have a crush on him. he's just messing with me, obviously. anyways, i can't wait to be done with these months of being crush-free.”

after giving you a minute to catch your breath, your cousin speaks again. ”so what i was gonna ask, y/n is, are you fighting it? you know, having a crush?” she asked, pulling her mug of tea back up to her lips. she took a long sip in while you mulled over her words. ”no, i don't think so.” your words were flat out simple, but the way your fingertips tapped into your palm gave away your lie. ”uh huh, sure. let me know how this whole thing with sap goes.” she responds, taking another sip from her mug.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

ok, maybe your cousin was right. maybe you were fighting having a crush. maybe you were fighting having a crush on sapnap.

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, spill my guts out, spill my guts out

every time you went out on drives later into the night, every time you called him at midnight and he picked up, every time he texted you about something interesting that'd happened to him throughout his day, every time he flirted with you, you felt heart your stop. you also felt it flip and spin and your stomach twirl and flutter as if butterflies were locked inside.

still, you didn't do anything about it, because you couldn't. you made a promise to yourself, and you wanted to see it through.

what you didn't know, was that sapnap was feeling very similarly. he'd started flirting with you moments before he realises he had a crush on you. but he couldn't do anything about it, because you told him a week later about your deal with yourself, and he knew how badly you wanted to get through it. so, of course, he wanted that for you too.

in the mean time, he flirted but would stop himself short of anything truly meaningful and he would avoid going for the hugs he oh so badly wanted, and he would take advantage of every minute he had with you. oh, what a shame it was to feel so much, and repress it for your sake and for the sake of the person you felt so much for.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

to say he was happy when you'd called him at 12:01am one night to tell him that you were officially through your six months was an understatement. to say he was ecstatic when you told him how you felt about him moments afterwards was an understatement.

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[thefamilycryptid]

MY HUGE RANT ABOUT SEASON 4

Spoilers ahead

This is going to be really rambly. It it is definitely not all of my thoughts on this season. I did have parts I liked about this season and I admit I sort of liked the ending of the season but I didn’t like the season as a whole and I like complaining so sorry this is long

First is was fat jokes at Diego, which was weird af, especially when he took of his shirt and showed he was RIPPED THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME LIKE NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY CHUBBY BRO WAS SUPERHERO JACKED???

I actually didn’t notice that it was Sparrow!Ben who got sent back with them at first, I was hoping and praying for my good ghost boy. I just kinda hates Ben’s whole character in this

Then it was constantly playing baby shark and NOONE DECIDES TO JUST SMASH THE RADIO??? Like if had played for just the first sequence then someone smashed the radio it would’ve been a bit funny but it took over a whole episode and I HATED IT

CGI vomit???? Constantly????? Also do the blood and guts look plastic to anyone else? Like practical gore usually looks pretty good why doesn’t just feel funky this season?

I liked the Jennifer plot line originally, but I feel like it just became a weird way to shoehorn Ben and Jen into a relationship.

You’re telling me that RAY CHESTNUT becomes a DEADBEAT DAD??? He was genuinely the sweetest guy season 2 and now we’re expected to believe he would just leave his wife and kid (I’m assuming Claire is his Bio kid in this, but even if he’s just her father legally it’s absolutely wack that he would just leave her and Allison).

The Klaus plot line was actually so upsetting this season. Like he screws around in every season but it’s usually tied back to the main plot somehow. But this time it literally just felt like “haha the gay addict relapses after YEARS of working so hard to remain sober”. They wrote it like it was some punchline, like we were meant to laugh about him being “haha funny comedic relief of Klaus never being able to have a happy life” and it didn’t even have any plot relevance?

And then the big one Five and Lila

I genuinely cannot express how disgusted I was with this plot line. The moment I started episode 5 I kept a literal chant of “oh god please no ” BEGGING that it was a fake setup.

But no they actually did that. They made Lila and Five have a weirdass emotional love affair while suspended in the bullshit time traveling train. I’m gonna break down specific thoughts I have about this incident just bc there is so much I have to say

1. The age gap of the characters. Lila is 35 (ish? Her time traveling is a lot less than five so we can assume she is roughly still 35) and Five is in his 60s mentally while being in the body of a 19yo (him being 13-14 in season 3 and the 6 year agegap). I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain the mental/maturity agegap between a 35yo and a 60yo.

2. There’s also the huge glaring problem of the actors ages. The fact that the writers waited until Aidan was FRESHLY legal to write him into a relationship with an actress 15 years older than him is actually disgusting. Especially considering Ritu knew Aidan since season 2 when he was 16 years old and she was in her 30s.

3. It completely ruins fives character as someone who spent several decades trying to figure out how to save his whole family, into a homewreaker who was completely ready to let his family deal with the apocalypse while he had a cushy old time in a cottage core life with his brothers wife. Five killed thousands of people for the chance to go home to his siblings and I’m just expected to believe that he would throw that away for his sister-in-law???

4. Lila is a kickass independent woman in seasons 2, 3, and in the beginning of season 4. She’s practically a single mother bc Diego’s head is up his ass, shes juggling taking care of 3 kids, having her extended family live with her, AND trying to feel normal again by playing spy in her free time. Yet after episode 5 she is reduced to a “woe is me I’m stuck between two brothers, one I’m married to and have 3 kids with, and the other I just think gets me so well even though he lied to me”. She is slightly redeemed after they get out of the train stop and returns to Diego but it was still gross that it happened in the first place and there are still weird aftershocks

Ok end of Lila and Five rant back to the other stuff

Loved Victor so much in this season btw, the only normal Hargreaves at this point. Wish we could’ve heard more about how he is apparently charming the pants off of every woman he meets, if he and Lila got together behind Diego’s back I don’t think I would’ve even been mad he simply is THAT BITCH and we love him for it.

The five Deli was actually kind of funny to me tbh. I just wish it had gone way differently, like yes definitely like all the Fives that gave up but I wish our five had solved the problem just to spite them all. Because that’s the POINT of Five’s character that he refuses to just give up on problems, even if he has to ham-fist his way through everything until he has the solution and this season just ruins that in him. Where is stubborn till the end Five?? Dead and season 4 killed him 😔

And then there was the ending.

I don’t like it for a bunch of reasons. But the main one was how sloppy it felt. Also a bunch of inconsistencies which I will once again breakdown

1. I didn’t like the whole “we must end our existence to save the timeline” solution. I feel like it’s just massively overdone and lazy writing. I honestly would’ve preferred never getting season 4 over this ending

2. Lila, Diego, and Allison being so worried about their kids being ok without them is such a weird point. Like if you cease to ever exist then your kids won’t have ever been born I think that’s the whole point of not existing???

3. This isn’t a complaint but the scene where Bennifer absorbs everyone else looks really weird to me idk why

The EPILOGUE!

I admit it was pretty cute to see all the characters from previous seasons appear again, I love the Swedes by baby girls.

But how the hell are the children alive when their parents ceased to exist?? Like genuinely how the hell does that work ??

I almost wished we could’ve gotten to see all the scenes from the mothers when they WOULDVE given birth but instead we get to see what happens without Marigold. It would’ve been a nice wrap up if we got to see the scene with Victors mom again but it’s just her swimming with the boy she’s hitting on. I feel like it would’ve been a slightly more satisfying ending that I could’ve forgiven the “erase ourselves for the good of everyone” ending.

I have more opinions so ask me abt them if you want but I promise this post would be a novels length if I said it all so I just wrote the big stuff here lol

[echobx]

I love JJ but how do we know he didn't treat girls like that last post says? A lot of ppl write him like that anyway(no hate)

I agree we should look at this more closely and see why I and op of that post agree with the statement they made

to address what you said, (and I'm never gonna assume hate bc this let's me write a lowkey think piece or wtv it's called lol) because deep in my heart I have always felt that those ways of writing him is very ooc imo, but I'm not gonna police ppl on what they write (especially considering that I know that every Rafe thing I write is just ooc when we look at canon very strictly)

so to answer the question, why would it be ooc of JJ to treat girls the way Kiara treated the boys, there's a quick and a not so quick answer.

the quick one, we (definitively) don't know how he acts around random girls, but this are his friends and if roles were reversed he's still loyal af and wouldn't hurt his friends in such a way. full stop. he's not the person to do that.

now, let's look at it in a little more detail.

1. Loyalty

season 1: he went to jail for Pope. he helped his best friend get away from the cops by stealing from his father, who we know is abusive. do you know how much guts it takes to actually stand up to your abuser in that way? and we know even though he started to act up, there's still an inate fear that Luke will hurt him way worse again. he put himself in front of barry to save his friends from being shot.

season 2: he was ready to have a shoot of with the cops to protect John B from going to jail. he was ready to die for him! he tried to bust him out of jail, and if no one had interfered and the other guy hadn't also needed to go to the hospital, the plan would've worked (I'm so sure of that) then he tried his best to protect Pope from Limbry and her brother.

season 3: even though they butchered him, he was still somewhat loyal, I just refuse to acknowledge that he saved Kie bc he was in love with her and not because she's also his best friend. again, no one told him to, he just did it because he can't imagine a life where his friends (his family) aren't all with him when shit goes down. which is also why he was so distraught when Sarah told him to go instead of wait and search for John B when they left Barbados.

there's a clear line of loyalty and he's not crossing it. he's always got their back and if he can't because they don't let him, it causes him mental distress (1. he looked in pain when Sarah made him drive off. 2. he went back home after taking Barry's money and having the fight with his friends although he knew jis dad was there, although he knew of the risk)

2. Girls

we have little to no information on how JJ treats random girls. the only real info we have is coming from the Pilot episode and one timy line in season 2

pilot: his introduction shows him bent over a girl in an attempt to make out with her, it's like 2 seconds max before John B closes the door and moves on. then later we get JB commenting on JJ's behavior by basically saying he can't keep away from any girl because he always wants to fuck them. which tbh, is a common thing for a teenage boy.

season 2: when they are back at school, John B gets the note from the girl to go to the bonfire. JJ takes the note and remarks "she meant to give that to me" in a clear attempt to make it seem like girls are simply fawning over him and it's impossible for anyone to find John B more attractive than him (I'm not gonna comment on the truth of this bc Chase is just not my type at all, so for me to say he's right would be immensely more biased than I already am)

HOWEVER these are the only views we have into his whole dating life. there's no other mention of it ever.

so let's look at the girls in the group.

3. Sarah

JJ is from the start on friendly to her. he's supportive of John B and Sarah and their whole relationship from the get go. and as the story progresses, we can see that he clearly cares a lot about her. he values her opinion on a lot of things. he didn't directly judge her for her cheating (which idk if he did because he gives her the benefit of the doubt or because he thinks it's 100% Topper's fault)

he's even somewhat protective of her, especially in season 2 when everything with her dad goes down, and then at the end of season 3 when he was ready machete a guy with a gun (very dumb idea, but he's impulsive enough to might've actually done that if Ward hadn't stepped in)

he's got respect for her and acts like a true friend towards her, even though they technically only know each other for a few months at that point.

4. Cleo

there's not much to say because we didn't get to see them interact much, but I believe there's a strong mutual respect between the two especially with JJ saying "glad you're part of my team" on the airstrip in season 3

he sees her independence and doesn't try to dismiss it or tell her to do anything she doesn't want to (he never does that with any of the girls tbh which is part of the point I'm trying to make)

5. Kiara

season 1: in the pilot episode he says tp John B "I've tried that door already and it's locked" meaning he tried to get with her, Kie shut him down and he let it go. that's what should happen when a friend approaches you and you don't reciprocate the feelings. it shouldn't destroy a friendship.

then we get to see them interact more, and you can clearly see that he see her as an equal, even though they disagree on some things especially when it comes to money but in the end they'll always stick together.

season 2: we see him be supportive of Kie and Pope's relationship, he has no interest in being with her, if he had he wouldn't give Pope advice on how to win her over. he talks to her about him, maybe in a way of connecting to her and try and help from both sides. again he's being respectful in a rather clumsy way, but he's tentative to not cross a line and doesn't pressure her to answer any of his weird questions.

what we don't get to see is his reaction to Kie doing what she did to Pope, bc we only know that Kie told Sarah and Pope told John B, we can't know if JJ knows exactly what happened pr how he reacted. although it would give a little more insight.

season 3: (let's assume jiara makes sense without butchering character development)

he feels true remorse when it comes to his shown feelings towards her and knowing it's gonna hurt Pope. he doesn't want to cross a line she isn't read to cross yet.

he pushes her away from him because he doesn't see himself good enough to be with a rich girl like Kiara, because all he can see himself as is the person everyone thinks he is. the fuck up. just "Luke's kid". and not the person he really is.

he saves her from the camp because first of all she's his friend and second of all he knows she will be miserable there and that she deserves better.

Kiara initiated the kiss. she initiated the "i love you"s. he didn't want to cross the line without being sure that she wanted it too.

6. his mom

we know nothing about his mom. but from context clues we can assume that she left him when he was a baby, or toddler.

from context clues we can assume that Luke was just as much abusive to her as he is towards JJ. knowing that it's very clear that JJ would never actively hurt someone, especially a woman, in a way like that. if it's physically or mentally

7. other older women

Mrs. Heyward: he's got the utmost respect for her, probably sees her like a mother he wish he had.

Mrs. Carrera: even when she was mean to him, he stayed respectful. not even saying a mean thing behind her back.

Rose: we know he flirted with her in the og script to get better tips, but the scene was cut. I still think it's important to add tho because it adds a layer to his infamous player attitude

Mrs. Limbry: again, even though she was the enemy that point in the story, he still didn't say a bad word about her unlike some of the men they went against.

what it comes down to here is that he has too much respect for the women in his life, to treat even just random girls, in the way that would hurt them.

when it comes to what Kie did and if JJ would do it too? never, because he puts his friends above all else. he would never.

[prosciuttulipa]

RAAAAAAH i want a match ngl LMAO

Jjk match because Im a fucking simp, and a guy bcs I am in fact a straight woman thanks

I'm a big nerd. Like, a very big nerd. I do math for fun and I am not ashamed at all when I interrupt someone to correct them (I have autism and ADHD, how could you tell?)

I'm relatively closed off, and most of the time, insecure. I'm shy and I barely ever make the first move (unless I've had a couple of drinks or a lot of eyeliner). I think what people most define me as is the "old soul, young body). I'm like the mom of the group, though I am absolutely reckless when there's another mom in the group, since it takes the responsibility away from me.

I hate going out, and it's really hard to get me to go to the beach, for example. I think my best quality personality-wise is that I'm down to earth and realistic about my goals. A problem is probably how much self-doubt I have, since people constantly tell me I am capable of achieving more than I think I can. I don't settle for seconds, but I'm not too excited when I rech first, because there's always a new competition.

Oh yeah, I'm competitive. Very.

I'm a pessimist, though I like to say it's realism, because why be positive, hype myself up, only for it to go wrong and the disappointment hurt me? As I said, emotionally closed off.

My personality is the infamous black cat, and I think (though I'm not sure), that a golden retriever boy is what would fit me best. (even though I simp for other black cat guys)

For hobbies, I'm boring, though I do have many. I play the guitar, do martial arts (krav maga), draw, sing, write absolutely filthy smut, and, most important of all: do math and study. Yeah, my main hobby is studying.

I'm not sure how I show my love? I don't, usually. I can love someone unconditionally and be absolutely lovesick, but only after a very heavy emotional session, may it be a fight or drinks, will I tell soemone how much they mean to me. I spent the last four years with my best friend, and only after a day's worth of drinking and crying did I tell her how much she meant to me.

I'm a bit icky with physical touch, but if I trust them, I'll let them cling to me. Initially push people away and only after knowing them do I let them hug me, kiss me, cuddle me. I am awful when dealing with compliments, and I cannot take a gift. So probably quality time is my love-receiving language when generally speaking. A boyfriend/husband would probably work with physical touch and words of affirmation, though.

I dont think there's any big turn-off or turn-on in relationships? Maybe not giving me enough attention and helping me emotionally, because I'm easily falling into insecurity, feeling like I'm not enough.

I have like medium curly dark hair and dark eyes. Eyebags, and a lot of moles all over my face. My body is relatively fit? I have a bit of fat ngl but I also have muscles. A bit of a tummy and thicc thighs (they do, in fact, save lives) that double the size when I sit (insecurity alert!) I'm pale, though I am a mixed baby. I dress in all-black most of the time, and all the color variations are like red or dark blue. (I AM NOT EMO). I wear eyeliner from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep and I have pierced ears. I also plan on getting nip piercings and plan on getting

I think i need more songs to listen to, so I'm going with the three songs he associates wit me.

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Choso Kamo

When people see you and Choso together, they immediately assume that you're just another average emo couple, quick to place stereotypes. But under the heavy eyeliner and dark clothes, are two people who are just trying to figure out life in their own way.

Choso is fascinated by your contradictions: insecure yet quick to correct others, pessimistic but burning with a competitive drive for more. Where some people may see indecision, he sees something much more real and human in comparison to the single-minded characters he's met during his time alive. Living is hard, has experienced it for himself, so he doesn't shun you for your contrasting perspectives. Instead, he wants to learn about the world alongside you, unpicking the way you think, wondering about your insecurities. Although he's been through a lot, there's something inherently innocent and simplistic in the way Choso sees the world. If you're an old soul in a young body, then he's a young soul in an old one. Perhaps by meeting somewhere in the middle, the two of you will get closer to unravelling the mystery that is life.

Choso doesn't mind that you don't like going out, but you often find yourself tagging along as he explores the world in small ways. A trip to the convenience store may as well be a museum visit, with the way he asks you about the products, eyeing them with confusion. He also admires the fact that you study math—to dedicate yourself to understanding anything in such depth is no small feat—and he's happy to sit next to you while you work, occasionally asking questions about your interest in the subject. His most common form of affection is just leaning his head against your shoulder, watching silently as you work.

Dates with Choso are pretty laid back, since he's happy to take the lead on whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn't matter to him where you two are. For him, understanding your mind (and falling in love with the way you think, the way you are) is what matters to him the most.

The Matchmaker's Gift:

Contrary to popular belief, Choso's music taste is rather soft. This song reminds him of the inherent dependence that comes with being connected.

Offering you this song with a curious tilt of his head, Choso asks you if this is how your pessimism feels like.

This is the song Choso uses to confess to you. His feelings are one of the few things he has to his name, and he wants to share them with you.

[void-sand-cat]

Assuming that Michael is the player for Fnaf 1/2/3/5/6 (I have no idea what's going on w/4), I doubt there is any way that the spirits (including afton kids & William here btw) knew who they were trying kill was.

So, the animatronics are old and kinda crappy right? So the missing kids wouldn't have the best vision, and (if I recall correctly) Michael looks a lot like William. Plus, we know they attacked anyone with a security uniform (rip phone guy), so they definitely didn't know. I subscribe to the headcanon that they were affected by possible murder machine programming in the animatronics from William, increasing the likelihood that they had 0 idea what they were doing, but I don't know any proof for this, so disregard it, this theory doesn't need it.

Aftons are tricker. Based on how Elizabeth talks about William, I don't think her or CC knew about how fucked up William was.

Next CC. First off, "It's me." Which works if you think he knows Michael is Michael, but it works just as well if CC thinks Michael is William. Again, I have my doubts he knew how messed up William was, but he definitely knew how much Michael was - at least Michael as Foxy bro. I do believe CC said, "It's me" with no ill intent. Whether or not it was meant for Michael depends on how forgiving you think CC is. Irregardless of how forgiving CC is, he is still affected by bad robot eyes and falls into the same hole as the missing kids.

Before moving on to William, I want to touch on Michael. I don't think he knows that Elizabeth, CC, & the missing kids think he's William. From what I understand of SL, Elizabeth does talk like she knows the player. As mentioned above, SL is not a game I have learned a lot about, nor have I learned about Eilzabeth. I said I didn't think "It's me" was said with anger/hatred, but I do believe Michael interpreted it that way. He had been fending off murderous animatronics all night, and another one just showed up in his office. What else is he gonna think? I don't know if Michael knew that CC was haunting the Golden Freddy costume, but if he did, why would he think his brother would forgive the person who killed him? As for the missing kids, he knew they were attacking security guards (at least after a point), I doubt he thought they knew how he was.

I wanted to touch on Michael before William because this is a special case. I still doubt that William knew the security guard was Michael. His eyes have to be total crap, and (if I recall correctly) he can talk, so why wouldn't he talk to his son? Why would he be trying to kill him? Instead of trying to control him, find out what's happened since he was gone, etc. That's the same. However, I think Michael knows William doesn't know who he is. And wants it like that. Michael likely figured out that William is treating him as a rando. It's not hard to put together, but why wouldn't Michael say anything? Counterpoint, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE? He knows what William has done, and he's there to burn everything down with William inside.

I am technically in my 2nd fnaf phase, but I've only really ever seen gameplay of SB & Ruin, and that's from speedrunners. I got this far bc of game theory binge watching. Fnaf 4s lore is too confusing for me to touch, I think it doesn't matter, maybe as motivation? Eh, no idea. 6 is more of the same, up till Henry's speech everyone assumes Mike's (oh fuck. Mike has a nickname. I'm a dumbass, forgive me) some rando, Henry speech alerts them their wrong, but they burn before figuring it out.

Edit: According to AO3 tags, I misspelled Mike's name. Guess I should fix that quickly. (I can't fix the misspelling in the tags here, though.) I also fixed a mistake with Elizabeth's name at one point. Elizabeth was a typo, I have no idea how I ended up spelling Mike's name wrong. (I'm American seriously, how did I do that?)

[nikadd]

Not you talking about biphobia and then saying "bi women who date men are hot and lesbians couldn't even have them if they were single"most ugly women that I have seen were straight/bi and the hottest ones were lesbians

damn, way to misread what i said. i usually wouldn’t grace such misreading w my attention, but i guess i should here bc i hate being misunderstood.

i’m assuming you’re referring to this:

“like i’m so tired of ppl online being “heartbroken” over a hot woman (bonus points if she “looks” gay) being w a man - as if you ever had a chance w her if she was single!”

now, let’s break this down:

ppl - people within the context of the entire paragraph and this sentence, yes im talking mostly abt queer women, that including both bi women and lesbians and other microlabels. not just lesbians. in fact, in my entire post i always mean all kinds of queer women.

heartbroken - having a reaction of sadness/disappointment. put quotation marks around it to express my own frustration with the framing of the reaction.

hot woman - i’m guessing this is kinda the epicenter of your issue. what i mean by hot here is who the queer women in question are attracted to. i’m not saying that they are not attractive as well, i just mean that the woman im talking abt is attractive to the ppl having the heartbroken reaction.

bonus points if she “looks” gay - whatever this means to the ppl who see her w regards to current and past trends of looking gay so to speak. short hair/undercut/buzzcut, eyebrow slit, nose piercing, handmade earrings, some kind of alternative styling. basically anything someone could make a tiktok abt wearing and saying “why would ppl assume im straight if i look like THIS?”

being w a man - self-explanatory.

as if you ever had a chance w her if she was single! - this is another part of the sentence where i’m afraid you’ve misunderstood what i meant. ok, so obv i used a hyperbole to emphasize, but what i specifically mean here is that this behavior (expressing heartbreak over somebody being with a man when you expected them to be with a woman/single) is weird and invasive and offputting and unattractive, bc it just sounds like they wish this woman was available to them, and since she’s not, it’s her fault. it sounds like a guy in a teen comedy going “this hot girl is with a stupid ugly jock when she could be with ME” kind of plot, but bc it’s a woman saying it, it’s somehow not seen as weird.

i guess i could have clarified, but the rest of my rant had to w my frustration to reactions/expressions/behaviors, so i didn’t think what im saying might be influenced by the implication of somebody being hot or not.

i guess i could also bring some examples:

natasha lyonne - an icon for queer women, was/is w a man for the longest time. you can find ppl’s surprise and heartbreak and frustration with this fact anywhere on the internet.

the cast of bottoms - when the film came out, a lot of ppl were talking abt both ayo edebiri’s and ruby cruz’s boyfriends with a very strong sense of betrayal. i think being frustrated that a lesbian character isn’t played by a lesbian is understandable, but the way ppl were reacting felt like they were actively being hurt by their celebrity crush not dating a woman.

using the word “partner” - the frustration with ppl using a gender neutral term for their significant other and then it not being somebody of the same gender. some ppl simply prefer the term over boyfriend/girlfriend, some are not strictly cisgender even if they present in ways that ppl might assume they are, some ppl actually do like the gender neutral part of it and use it as a way of allyship to not give too much information when it’s unnecessary. in general, the term is more often used to protect ppl from homophobia by divorcing it from the implication that partner necessarily means a partner of the same gender, but ppl are too used to assuming

strangers on tiktok - i see a lot of tiktoks where a queer woman will have an interaction with a woman they find very attractive in a gay way bc she looks kinda gay and then find out that she is with a man and then feel very disappointed. and then everybody in the comments is agreeing with that sentiment. now, that woman might be with a man bc she’s straight, but she might also be bi/potentially be attracted to women. and if she’s also queer there is a chance she looks kinda gay bc it’s a part of her expression. but the reaction feels like she’s being accused of misleading the other person into believing in her availability.

tldr: i think it’s rude and invasive to make inferences abt somebody’s relationships and then reacting like it’s personally offensive to you if they are dating somebody who’s not you/your gender AND then framing it like a positive/feminist/queer/political reaction. this behavior is why the person in question wouldn’t want to date you, not bc they are hot and you aren’t.

like if i was with a man, then that relationship ended, then i was interested in a woman, but then i found out that she had some kind of weird opinion on me having been with my ex boyfriend (saying that since i have the option to date women then why am i with a man, saying that im wasted being w a man, implying anything abt our dynamic/gender roles without actually knowing details abt our relationship, assuming that he’s automatically dismissive/not respectful of my identity and/or fetishizing it), i wouldn’t want her.

if there are any issues with my explanation, feel free to let me know, because i genuinely did not mean what you’re implying i meant, im just frustrated with the popular rhetoric that perpetuates negative stereotypes while the concerns abt them are being dismissed.

[mikerztmf]

my stupid, messy, and long-winded thoughts on jake having a crush on drew

to get it out of the way LOL: CANONICALLY, jake doesn't have a crush on drew. obviously. BUT this is just me taking how jake acts and trying to answer the question "but what if he did haha" bc im delusional like that. that's also why this essay is a lot more casual than my other ones (not much shorter tho, SORRY ABT THAT). probably won't talk abt canon events as much (other than the drakeup), but still lmao

ME, PERSONALLY, i think that jake would develop a crush on drew probably around freshman year-ish. bc, as ive said before, drew was the first person to want to be jake's friend. im sure it meant a lot to jake, especially bc we can assume that it was drew who talked to/approached jake first!!

(and lol, if jake started crushing on daisy bc she was the first person encourage him in middle school, itd only be natural for him to develop a crush on drew after he defended him from bullies, bought him things, and in general was his first close friend???? jk LMAO, but the point still stands)

i think the way jake would go about his feelings... he simply wouldn't do anything about them... besides hide them away and act like they were never there. but then again, that shit wouldn't work out, bc those feelings are so engrained in him.

bc jake really cares about what drew thinks, which is why he kept quiet about his past and his passion. and the crush would definitely be a part of that. like it's smth jake would view as "bad", and he would think that it's just an additional reason for drew to drop him. that's why, i think, he'd never purposely act on his feelings or anything. maybe the occasional gay thing will slip out of his mouth when drew's not around to hear it, but nothing actually intentional?

anyway. sing along if you know the words!!! JAKE LIED TO DREW IN AN ATTEMPT TO KEEP HIM!!! 🎉🎉

jake hid his passion for music and his crush from drew so they would be able to stay friends. bc, to him, it was the only way that drew would ever "like him back", even if it wasn't romantically. (he's wrong ofc, bc drew has a massive boycrush on him. but jake doesn't know that)

basically, all of that basically means that the one thing jake didn't want is for drew to call him a freak/for drew to leave. it just sucks i guess, bc everything jake did to make that not happen... became the exact reasons why it did happen.

and if we're gonna talk abt canon some more... i think this crush would add to jakes internal conflict throughout the series. like yeah. jakes got the club and he can be his full self with them, but since drew is his first friend (who he developed feelings for!!!), he finds it hard to let him go. which is why he sort of tries to defend/excuse the jomies, up until ep7 ("they're still my friends ... they're not like that all the time.")

TL;DR??? imagine my last jake-centric essay but 5x worse 👍 sorry this is so scatterbrained LMAO i just. have a lot of thoughts abt jake-centric drake, if u couldn't tell