#bc this friday will have been a month since my interview
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jesus fucking christ yet again when will i learn my lesson to stop asking reddit for advice
#i made a post on r/hairdressers asking for advice on if its normal for salons to wait so long to respond after an interview#bc this friday will have been a month since my interview#and every single one of these fucking idiots who have commented keep telling me to just go work at great clips#literally ? no? i did not go to school for 2 years and pay 20000 dollars to work at a fucking great clips and not do color????#i also specifically want an apprenticeship and will not work somewhere unless they have some type of program for it because ive#heard so many stylists say that thats where baby stylists go wrong is just jumping into booth rent or a random salon and not learning more#anyways some dickhead stylist was like are there only 2 salons in your town? apply to other places#a. go fuck yourself b. THESE SALONS ARENT EVEN IN MY TOWN BECAUSE MY TOWN IS ALL OLD PEOPLE AND RACISTS#self
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Jobless™️. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went “omg im so sorry...anyways i have bad news”#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like 🤝 fired buddies 🤝 time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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#job secured 😛#it’s full time 9 hour days but Fridays are 4 hours#my nepotism baby arc (paulina helped me secure it at the clinic I go to LMFAO)#well kinda like I applied and they called me back but I missed the call#so when I went to see her (for the first time since September she said she got excited when she saw my name on her schedule bless her soul)#I told her how I called him back but the like didn’t even ring it just went straight to voicemail both times#so she called him from her work phone and pretended I was a stranger she ran into bc patient confidentiality LMFAOEKFK#she went ‘I found someone in the hall who came to ask about a job because she got a call but hasn’t been able to get in contact with you’#and he came down there and was Iike ‘I’m so sorry I’ve been doing orientations and interviews all day I must have missed you’#and we were talking in the elevator to his office about the position and he goes ‘do you have time for an interview right now?’ I was :O#and said yes ofc#interviewed with the 2 pharmacists then and there and he called and offered me the position the next day!!#and I’m making more than I did at my previous job and it’ll go up once I get certified in like 2 months#they’re willing to train me and everything??#and the reason I wanted this job so bad is bc it counts towards my healthcare experience for grad school SLAY#2 birds 1 stone baby
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need to vent a lil bit
so this fall term is going to be really busy for me, I know this I have planned for this. I have to do like an “experiential learning” thing that will amount to approx 25 hours of work per week and tends to be a whole thing. BUT, a few weeks back my fave professor asked me if I was interested in interning for a judge which is like a really good thing to do and to have on your resume, and since I had her pushing for me specifically I had a much better chance of getting it bc she’s very well-known and well-respected.
so I had this whole crisis ALREADY of like oh no this would be a LOT this would perhaps be TOO MUCH am I sure I can handle this I do not want to accidentally overextend myself and FAIL MISERABLY at everything. but I thought about it and I was like you know what. this is fine. it will be a lot but it will only be a lot for like 3 months, and it’s too good of an opportunity to pass up. and I might not even GET the internship so.
but anyway I asked my experiential learning director professor if it was okay to apply, she said that’s fine good luck, the application process moved REALLY fast so as I was having 3 separate mental breakdowns it was literally like Wednesday evening fave prof told me to prepare my documents, Thursday morning I submitted, Friday morning I got an interview, 2 hours later I got the offer – and I was insanely excited like this is honestly a pretty big deal, I am both personally excited to do the work and excited in the sense that it will look amazing on my resume!
so I had to submit an application to get class credit for the internship, it was a whole thing but I assumed it would be fine since I had everything settled, it’s GETTING A LITTLE LATE since school starts in a week and a half so I was starting to feel like uhmmmmmmmmm hello. I need to do admin things pls approve my thing. but today I finally get an email and it’s like soooooooooo have you talked to your experiential learning prof about this? have you talked to the judge about this? we need to have a conversation about the time commitment here.
so I sent an email back like yes I’ve already done all that do you want me to send the email where the prof said it’s fine? and I have gotten NO RESPONSE and in the meantime I have become insane all over again LOL like you know how sometimes someone gently suggests to you like “hmmm that’s pretty hard what you’re trying to do are you sure you’re up to the task” and you’re like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I was sURE BEFORE BUT NOW IM PANICKING AGAIN LOL
like I’ve literally been mentally preparing myself for this for months at this point, I knew it was going to be a busy term before I even got the internship and had to kind of re-evaluate/rearrange things to accommodate internship bc again, it’s an opportunity I cannot pass up, but UGH you know I’m just like having the crisis all over again sdjfnjkjnfkjfnf
I had some pretty serious depression/anxiety issues when I was in undergrad and just ZERO tools to deal with them, and so there were times when I really struggled to keep up with everything and completely failed to keep up with certain things, and like………..for the most part I have accepted that I was doing the best I could, that I am a completely different person now and generally do a VERY good job of managing everything, that like I had a pretty bad mental health incident(tm) my first year of law school and have had a few other minor hiccups and handled them all very well and didn’t have any serious problems with school or anything so like IF something were to go wrong like I do think I have the tools and fortitude to deal with it and not let anything vital slip.
but idk I’m just annoyed that I already went thru this whole thing multiple times and now I have the bad brain again LOL like pls just approve my application and let me worry about my terrible choices okay sorry just needed to get this off my chest as you were
#i sure hope the tumblr editor won't delete my read more for no reason!!!!!!!!!!!!#that would never happen this is a functional website!!!!!!!!!!!#personal#oh yeah this is also#grad school nonsense#did not get a long enough break from that tag LOL
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late april
last thursday and friday marked the last job interviews that matt will have before we move back. the interviews were thankfully one hour long each, and they gave a specific timeline on when he can expect to hear back. one is by the end of this week, the other is by end of next week, and last is within 20 days. this is such a good contrast to some other interviews that were 4-6 hours long and basically ghosted him afterwards.
i think the timing of everything works out pretty well, where we can make a final decision once any additional offers are received. if no other offers come up, we plan on going with west la by default. this marks 9 interviews total in 2024, 11 interviews total in 2023, to make 20 total interviews before an offer is accepted. i felt like matt was michael jordan, and i was michael jordan's mom/advisor in this job search. this process was very exhausting for the both of us. since the last year or so was dedicated to job searching, it's going to feel (good) weird that his subsequent off weeks are really off now?!
as mentioned before, we have become pretty emotionally disconnected and burnt out. it's been feeling like a lot like all work, no (little) play makes us dull boys. it's been trying to get through the work week, and then prepping for interviews, then debriefing the interview. rinse and repeat. hopefully the sacrifices are worth it and everything will be on the up and up.
matt will be giving his 120 days notice this friday, so that his last work date will be in late aug. shit is feeling real now. although there is still uncertainty, i feel a little relieved that the ball is at least rolling forward and i feel some stress trickling away. in hindsight, i suppose waiting an additional half year to get a job in LA versus accepting the redlands one was a good call.
it also worked out quite perfectly that the job search thing lined up with R&T's time here. if we had accepted an offer earlier on, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to make east coast memories together. they were there for me exactly when things started to get tough emotionally and will stick around until our move back. now that people's schedules are all over the place (matt's week on/off, T's super commuting), it's a little difficult to plan a trip, but we're aiming to go to acadia national park together in the coming months.
other events:
i've been going to a new yoga studio as well as tangerine. this new one is not heated, but the classes are longer and the cost is cheaper! instead of doing the unlimited yoga membership, i upgraded my classpass to pay about $136/mo bc YOLO. it's essential in helping me feel stabilized by doing the practice and also by having a community
we supported I in his new coffee shop opening in the UES!
R&T took us on a friend date: picnic with bagels and bike riding around central park, basketball, thai food and board games
work has been quite busy and all over the place as usual - i'm trying to manage it as best as i can. they have not hired anyone yet for my old position and i'm still doing the work for it.
matt got invited to a former co-resident's wedding in aug. it'll be hosted in boston. i'm a little intimidated because this will be my first (rich) white people wedding lol
watched ramit sethi live with R. although some parts were a little boring as he interviewed the couples (as i usually listen to his podcast while doing some other task), the best part of the show was the end where he interacted with the audience. so many people were grateful for him that he created this open space community and i too was fangirling.
edit: i was out in cobble hill today and a young white guy passing by (if i heard correctly) said "you're beautiful". i was 80% sure because i had my airpods on and was in the middle of a text. compliment by NYC strangers instance #5
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so - back on an I need to write this out to process it and I guess im sharing it mood.
So ... been looking for a job since April, took a bit of a break in May but was supposed to be back in it by now but I'm just. exhausted. the depression has come back full force and I'm now lk desperate and financially stressed af.
So anyways, all of these months I kept just mass applying when I could get myself to with the full resume I had - no changes. no tailoring it to an application etc. and then I decided to apply again to this one place in sept - even though last year when I applied I hadn't had much luck, but this time around there was a position very similar to my last one - and I was lk fuck it I gotta do it.
in the mean time I've kinda been going to a psychiatrist since lk august to be evaluated bc I think I might also have ADHD. But anyways she thinks that I need to leave my house, see ppl and rejoin life in order to see if my problems are from lack of doing anything and so my mental health is fucked bc im lk stuck at home feeling useless or if its because of something else - lk idk something is inherently wrong with me lol. I think she'd shit on me if I said that out loud to her. she's kinda cool - lk intimidating cool but not in a bad way. she's just such a no nonsense person and she'll read you lk you're an open book you cant get much past her.
my mom had to go in to share what she'd seen happening with me (aka lk the outsiders perspective of what changes can be seen in me since Ive been mentally fucked) and she was so nervous ahahaha and then in the end she was lk wait do I want an appointment with her for myself? my mom is a whole character. if only y'all knew.
anyways back to the job thing, so she told me to apply to anything, I just needed to get a routine going again. so I applied to a bunch of things. and then I got a message about a grocery store job on indeed and tried to reply but I couldn't help but feel a bit sad bc I thought man I finally got a grown up job and now I'm back to my OG job roots, back to the grocery store life. And honestly I think a lot of my extended family has fucked me up on that bc they're so snobbish about these jobs. ANYWAYS so I didnt hear anything back after I answered them 🤷🏻♀️ so I thought ok . and around that time I had stopped applying.
fast forward to the past 2 weeks - my dog got sick, I got sick - we had the worst flu, I've had the worst period of the last few years, ive been out of it, my mom has been out of it, my dog has been out of it - also right - my grandmas death etc. (truly Oct is kinda dead to me now. so yay on that 😭 one less thing to look forward to which is sad when you didn't have much left) but yeah so then I see this email late Friday evening - which shit I usually check my email daily but this time I had forgotten bc id been sick - it was an email from Wednesday from that job I'd applied in sept that was a lot lk the one I'd left earlier in the year. and they wanted to interview me this week - Wednesday or Thursday. I managed to reply as soon as I saw it. and then I got a confirmation that Monday for it - it was an in person interview today.
I tried to prep for it as best as I could while physically dying a bit - bc lk I said been experiencing the period from hell. And yknow what that means? I'm so fucking emotionally wrecked atm- so anyways my dad drove me I somehow managed to be there, I was early, dressed professionally and everything - had even practiced some answers ... and then idk man - I think I fucked it up. They asked follow ups or clarifications of my answers but by the end I wasn't sure how to feel except man definitely didn't get that. they told me they'd make a decision by next week and let me know either way.
and the worse or weirdest part is I've spent the past few days since I found out about it trying to downplay it - lk its fine, you don't need this, if it's for you then it will be for you and if it isn't then it isn't. but I felt so sad walking out - lk idk I just got that feeling that they didn't like me. so now I'm all sad - even if all I've felt recently is that idgaf anymore and I'm ok with just dying - bc yup I got that passive suic*dal ideation down to a routine now. anyways - if anyone has any words of encouragement I'll take them but yeah I am sad .... and I have little to nothing left to give. it's been draining to say the least. and the worst part is I know my parents are just going to be encouraging and even my psychiatrist -she told me that I would get a job and it wouldn't matter who and if for some reason I didn't get something I should just think of it "well they weren't capable of seeing how great you are and what an asset you'd be to their team and that's fine because that just means it is not the job for you" but it still makes me sad know? I have trouble letting go of things and I'm way too hard on myself so it's just - A LOT.
anyways thats my life update.
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I have an interview for fire medic position on Friday and every time I think about it I wanna puke bc I’m so freaking scared and excited and I just really hope they know that even tho it’s been 8 months since I got my medic license I can and will bust my ass to be a good fire medic
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AHHHH JACKIE THIS WAS SO GOODDDDDD. your writing is unparalleled. and i cant believe wrote 9.3k words?? for me?? in a month?? truly insane <3 and im so sorry this took me so long, ive been busy and also wanted to savor my first read of it
also i feel like i have too many thought to just put them in the tags so im j dumping them here, i hope thats ok
It starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots.
honestly i truly love this intro. it gives this fic the feeling that this is just one of many different events the characters experience, like a single episode in a sitcom.
also w wonwoo in the first part i love how nonreactive he is?? like yes the message is anonymous but soonyoung and jun are just telling some stranger abt his love life? and also called him a “huge awkward loser”? but he just seems so resigned lol
“No, this will be good,” Junhui says, plopping down on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed. “Minghao told me that whoever runs the advice column in the school paper is, like, a love guru
also i truly believe that jun and minghao masterminded this whole thing trying to tell y/n that wonwoo was in love w her. and also i think there is too much evidence for this to not have been your intention. truly so tragic then that y/n is dumb and missed all the signs and that soonyoung somehow accidentally finally caused y/n and wonwoo to get together.
bc with all the messages signed by soonyoung and jun, there’s no way hao didn’t either tell them or strongly hint that those messages were guaranteed to be seen by y/n
Friday Free-for-alls, when you field confessions of all types. Dear Cherry, I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been using my roommate’s shampoo this whole semester, and today I found out that our two other roommates have also been using this roommate’s shampoo. He doesn’t suspect a thing.
maybe im remembering wrong, but wasn’t there an interview or something w i think wayv (or maybe another nct unit but pretty sure its them) where they admitted to using each others face soap (?) im probably wrong but is there any chance this was inspired by that?
Choi Seungcheol, fraternity president, football player, gym rat, jock, fuckboy extraordinaire— relationship advice columnist? No, it’s simply not realistic.
i love the concept of Scoups being the original Cherry (like the concept of one of his frat brothers writing in and him responding? but both doing it in secret?? idk i j love the image of it)
also the description of the albino squirrel as a good omen is such a cute and funny little detail to add!
“He’s not that bad,” you find yourself defending your fake boyfriend. “Mingyu is nice, and he’s really tall.”
You blink. Mingyu turns his pout on you now. “Nice and really tall? Are you for real?”
kajdfhjklhdfkjhd nooooo this description of mingyuuuuu. the way she tries to defend him but gives the most underwhelming reasons 😭😭😭
also the way jun immediately left w wonwoo when y/n revealed she was fake dating mingyu? such a good friend!!! we’d all be lucky to have a friend like jun 🥺
A part of you expects to see him in a different light, now that you think you love him, like there’s supposed to be cherubs singing and starlight in his eyes or something, but instead, you just see regular old Wonwoo. Your best friend.
the realization that y/n loves wonwoo was so soooo well written and i loved this part of it especially. it rlly captures what i like so much abt the friends to lovers trope
“You can ignore him,” Minghao says, passing by with a full bottle of wine in each hand on his way to put them away in the kitchen. “I don’t think you should be giving any love advice when your own love life is a mess,” he sniffs.
i love love love the way you wrote bestie hao in this fic! the (well-deserved) judgement! the attitude! (also since im pretty sure he was masterminding this i love how he essentially gets to see firsthand his plan crashing and burning bc y/n is an idiot)
In retrospect, Mingyu was definitely going to win that Greek God competition, even if Jaehyun from Nu Kapp put up a good fight.
unrelated but you should know i still think abt those comments you made abt Jaehyun’s legs looking like chicken breast for the seoul city photos. you were very right but now i cant stop thinking abt it i checked and those photos were posted over a year ago 😭😭
“Overwatch,” you insist, tugging him towards the door. “Friday night. It’s Wonwoo and Y/N night.”
SHE REMEMBEREDDDDDD!!!!!!
The Wonwoo you know is shy and awkward and doesn’t quite know how to fit himself into social situations. He’s clumsy and absentminded and needs someone to take care of him, to dote on him and give him attention.
The Wonwoo that you know, you’ve known since you were in second grade, standing over the boy you had knocked over with a rubber kickball, staring at him as he sniffled on the woodchips and glared at you through big watery eyes. That day, you decided right then and there that this boy would be yours, and now…
awkejlfilaNj;oboajkdshfj something something -ill take care of you -its rotten work -not to me not if its youakdsjakjsdhkljhghjjkljkagjklahgei m screAMINGGGGG
It’s raw hurt, sharp, painful. His mouth twists and his brows furrow and he looks at you like you’re something to be afraid of. You hate it. You hate that you’re the cause of it, that he’s feeling this, whatever it is, because of you, even though you’re not sure why.
NOOOOOOOOOOO ajksdhfkjh its the way you describe the pain on his faceNOOOOOOOOO
“Go to sleep,” he says flatly. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to your boyfriend, and you’ll be happy that nothing happened tonight.”
im. in tears.
“You didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he grins, “except for abandoning your boyfriend at the party because you wanted to play Overwatch with me. C’mon, do you want to get brunch?”
noooo and the way the next morning hes still so caring and sweet 🥺🥺. if i were him i would’ve kicked y/n out of my apartment as soon as possible
“Yeah,” Wonwoo replies. His voice is tinny and quiet, but still clear, like he’s slipped his headset off and mic is pushed away. “I’m gaming with Y/N. I’m muted, don’t worry.”
ah yes the classic “im muted” but they’re not accidental confession. truly a favorite of mine
“I’m so glad we’re going to college together, Wonwoo. I want to be with you forever.”
And he had watched you as you said it, quiet, like he was breathless. Like you had said something terrible and incredible at the same time.
It’s always been Wonwoo beside you, lazy summers spent playing video games, late night phone calls where you’d talk and he’d listen, after class in his car listening to the radio and eating junk food. Had he loved you then? With ketchup on your shirt and acne across your face and poorly box-dyed hair? And had you loved him then too? Before you even knew what love is?
AAHAHHLAJHHHHHKAJLHDLAIUWHGLIUHUIHIUWEGUHUIAEGW AGAIN EVIDENCE YOURE SOMEHOW IN MY MIND CAPTURING EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THIS TROPE AND EXECUTING IT TO PERFECTION!!!!!<333 ekjfhjh its all abt seeing the other at their most ordinary!!! and loving them for it!!!!!
“Wonwoo, I’m going downstairs,” you tell him.
“Wait–” his voice is tight and panicked, but you’re already tugging your headset off and grabbing your keys.
the parallel between earlier when y/n wanted to go down but didn’t after talking abt wonwoo’s crush and at the end when she realizes *she* was the crush?!!! *chefs kiss* (i do love me a good parallel)
“It was dark and I was tired. You didn’t notice that I passed out as soon as we dimmed the lights?” He raises his eyebrows as he defends himself, and you bury your face in your hands.
Click. The pieces are all falling in place.
the way he was sleeping?!!! so comedic and also so much better than the misunderstanding j being that y/n didn’t tell him
they’re idiots but i wouldnt have it any other way. i love when characters are idiots <3
“God,” he gasps between laughs, “we’re both so, so stupid.” And then you’re laughing too.
!!!
akjdfhjhh and the ending was so so so (x120398948949) sweet!
out of the frying pan and into your heart
jeon wonwoo x female reader
tags: college au, fraternities, fake dating, misunderstandings, childhood friends to lovers, this all could have been resolved with some proper communication, lots of pining specifically for em, fluff, rom com, best friend minghao, y/n is oblivious!!!
warnings: alcohol, weed, frats, american college setting
words: 9.3k
synopsis:
it starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots.
well, more specifically, for wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when soonyoung and junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells and write in to the school newspaper's love advice columnist about his crush on his childhood best friend.
and for you, the aforementioned childhood best friend and, in secret, also the aforementioned love advice columnist, it starts with cahoots when kim mingyu manages to convince you to fake date him so he can win some popularity contest for his frat.
for @notesof-mh
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It starts, as it always does with this particular collection of friends, with shenanigans and cahoots.
Well, more specifically, for Wonwoo it starts with shenanigans, when Soonyoung and Junhui somehow manage to collide brain cells.
He had barely been awake for 15 seconds when they had barged into his room, laptop in hands, just to show him the text in a pink-colored submission box surrounded by heart emojis. Wonwoo squints, the blurry words coming into just enough focus for him to make out what they say. “Dear Cherry, I’m a third year computer science student and I’m in love with my best friend, except I’m— what the hell is this?”
He glares at Soonyoung who grins cheerfully and points again at the screen. “Read the rest, Wonwoo!”
Wonwoo sighs and continues reading. “Except I’m a huge awkward loser and she’s so cool and pretty, and I don’t know how to tell her I like her. What should I do?”
“Alright, hit send,” Junhui instructs, tilting the laptop away and laughing maniacally.
Wonwoo pushes his hand across his face, trying his best to wipe away the last vestiges of sleep-addled confusion, and then he realizes what’s happening.
“Wait, you can’t do that,” he tries to protest, but Soonyoung giggles and clicks a button.
“No, this will be good,” Junhui says, plopping down on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed. “Minghao told me that whoever runs the advice column in the school paper is, like, a love guru, and she has four thousand followers on instagram. And she’s never shown her face, but she’s probably also really pretty.”
Wonwoo groans. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Just trust us,” Soonyoung pats Wonwoo’s knee through the blanket, “this is a good idea.”
And for you, it starts with kahoots, when your chemistry lab partner, Mingyu, pulls your stool closer to his side and whispers a proposition to you.
“Do you want to be my fake girlfriend?”
You narrow your eyes at him through your fogged up department-issued safety goggles. “Are you insane? What kind of fumes are you on?”
“None,” Mingyu replies. “I’m Sigma’s nominee for the Greek God award at the inter-fraternity tournament this year and I’m the only nominee who’s single.”
“And so I’m your pick,” you respond flatly.
Mingyu nods eagerly. His safety glasses slide down his nose, and he has to push them back up. “Yeah, you’re so pretty and cool, I think it’d be really impressive if I somehow managed to pull you.”
“Huh.”
“And,” he adds on, lowering his voice even more, “Jeonghan thinks my only real competition this year is going to be Jung Jaehyun from Nu Kappa Tau, and rumor has it you rejected him in high school. Twice. So I think it’d be pretty funny if we ended up together.”
You scoff and turn back toward the titration in front of you. “You can’t go up to people and ask for things like this.”
“C’mon, you know the winner gets free parking for an entire semester,” he whines. “Ok, how’s this? If you’ll pretend to be my girlfriend for the Greek God award, I’ll write our lab reports for the rest of the semester.”
His offer makes you pause, and he jumps on that pause, wedging his way in there.
“I’ll give you executive editing power, but I’ll do all the work,” he wheedles, “and I’ll give you a perfect peer eval at the end of the semester. I promise,” he puts a big meaty hand on your lab notebook and smears the ink under his fingers. “Kim Mingyu isn’t a liar.”
“I’ll conveniently ignore the fact that you’re lying about having a girlfriend to win this award, then,” you roll your eyes.
“That’s different, though,” he protests, “the award is dumb and meaningless and I really want it. But a promise made between buddies is important.”
He looks earnest, so you decide to lay off on him just a little. “When we’re fake-dating,” you sigh, “you can’t call us buddies anymore.”
“So that’s a…”
You groan, hating yourself for being so indulgent. “Yes. That’s a yes.”
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“Hold on Y/N, have you seen this?”
“Seen what?” You look over the top of your laptop screen, where you’re halfway through a paper on the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Minghao, your co-admin of the school newspaper’s (infamous) advice column turns his screen towards you. “Someone wrote in calling themselves a huge awkward loser.”
“Huh,” you grin to yourself as you read over the message quickly. “That’s kind of cute, actually.”
“Of course you think it’s cute,” Minghao rolls his eyes. “I’m going to assign this one over to you.”
“Yeah, sure, but please,” you mutter, “can you be a bit more discreet about it?”
Minghao looks at you over the top of his glasses. “What, about us being Ask Cherry? It’s not as embarrassing as you make it out to be.”
“Be quiet,” you hiss, looking around, “someone could overhear!” You frown, and then quietly, you add on, “and it is embarrassing. I’m supposed to be a journalism major, and I’m here making up horoscopes and giving fake relationship advice three days a week.”
This is an overstatement, and Minghao rolls his eyes. You only make up horoscopes and give fake relationship advice one day a week (Mondays are for Matters Of The Heart, your schedule says). There’s also Am I The Asshole Wednesdays, a campus favorite, and Friday Free-for-alls, when you field confessions of all types. Dear Cherry, I need to get this off my chest. I’ve been using my roommate’s shampoo this whole semester, and today I found out that our two other roommates have also been using this roommate’s shampoo. He doesn’t suspect a thing.
You hadn’t meant to end up in this position. You write serious pieces for the school newspaper too, reporting on the Student Government’s legislative sessions and the university’s semesterly budget for grants to culturally-centered student organizations. Those articles, you have your name attached to. But at the end of last year, the new editor-in-chief Jeonghan had approached you and convinced (strong-armed) you into becoming the new writer for the infamous advice column, Ask Cherry, since Cherry himself was quitting to make more time for other priorities.
(“And the kicker is,” you had complained to Minghao, “nobody will ever believe me.” Choi Seungcheol, fraternity president, football player, gym rat, jock, fuckboy extraordinaire— relationship advice columnist? No, it’s simply not realistic.
“I’m sitting on the juiciest piece of gossip to cross my path in my entire life, and I can’t do anything about it,” you say dejectedly.
“Hmm.” Minghao doesn’t even pretend to be interested.)
But, despite your disastrous real-world love life, your clumsily dispensed life advice, and the completely made up horoscopes, Ask Cherry readership skyrocketed under your intrepid watch. Once, you told a reader that the albino squirrel that lives in the tree next to the physics building was a good omen, and the next day, rumor spread that an albino squirrel sighting would grant you an A on your next exam. For weeks after, people would scatter peanuts and pieces of toast by the base of the tree next to the physics building, until campus facilities had to fence the area off because raccoons were starting to show up instead.
Minghao finding out had been a complete accident, after you had lent him your laptop to print out a paper that was due the next hour, but you had forgotten to minimize the window with your Ask Chrery submissions. Minghao, being someone who loves giving advice, both solicited and unsolicited, naturally joined in on this scheme of yours.
“Anyways,” you shrug. You look up as Junhui steps into the public study area of the library and scans the tables twice before making eye contact with you, and then waving. “Minghao, did you invite the others over to study with us?”
“Yeah,” Minghao responds, raising an eyebrow at you. “You got a problem with that?”
“No, it’s just—“ you’re about to complain about never being able to focus on your work with the rest of them around, but the words die on your lips when you spot Wonwoo trailing behind Junhui with a bemused expression on his face and a cardboard tray holding bubble teas in his hands. You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face. “Hey guys,” you wave over to them, clearing off the table space next to you to make room for them.
“I brought you a taro milk tea,” Junhui announces, gesturing behind him, “and a Wonwoo to boot.”
“He made me walk with him because he didn’t know your favorite drink,” Wonwoo explains quietly as he slides the drinks onto the table and takes his seat next to you. “Are you working on that international relations paper?”
“Yeah.” You take your taro milk tea. No ice, 50% sweet, tapioca pearls and grass jelly, just the way you like it.
“Do you think you’ll be done by Friday?”
“I will be free by then,” you promise him, punctuating your statement by stabbing your boba straw through the film covering the cup. You’d rather suffer through an all nighter on Sunday than miss your regular Friday night gaming sessions with Wonwoo, a tradition the two of you have kept up since both of you were in middle school and still playing Starcraft.
“Anyway,” Junhui leans over the table, resting his chin on top of his interlaced fingers. “I have a funny story.”
You tear your gaze away from Wonwoo. “Hm?”
“So, you know that advice columnist for the school paper? Wonwoo submitted a question the other day. Well, Soonyoung and I did, but for Wonwoo.”
You feel your blood run cold. It’s not that you’re ashamed of running a love advice column, but it’s more that you’re… embarrassed. And you’ve been running it in secret for so long that at this point, you can’t even fathom anyone outside of Minghao knowing. Maybe when you graduate, you’ll do an identity reveal, but you’re not quite there now.
“Can we talk about literally anything else,” Wonwoo grouses, somewhat to your relief. he glares at Junhui, but the effect is somewhat dampened when he lifts his bubble tea to his mouth and loudly slurps up some tapioca pearls.
“Yeah,” you quickly agree, not eager to have your secret identity exposed.
Junhui steamrolls on ahead, however. “So. If you’re reading the column and there’s a question from someone who has a big stupid crush, you know who it’s from.”
Your breath catches in your throat. Wonwoo? A crush?
“Junhui,” Wonwoo groans, digging his fingers into the bridge of his nose, brows furrowed in an expression of exquisite pain.
Minghao, however, leans forward and lets his glasses slide down his nose. He laces his fingers together. “A crush? On who?”
Junhui and Minghao both turn to stare at Wonwoo, who flushes beet red.
“Oh, hey guys!”
You feel a heavy arm around your shoulder and turn to see, to your abject horror, Mingyu, who scoots his way onto the bench to squeeze in next to you. “What are you doing here,” you hiss at your oversized interloper, but Mingyu just glances pointedly at the spot two tables down where a bunch of upperclassmen are sitting and chatting. You recognize Choi Seungcheol, the president of Mingyu’s frat, and you sigh and deflate. Fine. A promise is a promise.
You smile weakly at the other three guys sitting at your table. “Surprise,” you say flatly,” Mingyu is my boyfriend now.”
You’re momentarily distracted by a loud honking noise as Junhui narrowly avoids choking on his bubble tea and spraying the table through his nose.
“Mingyu?!” Minghao sounds simultaneously dismayed and slightly judgemental.
“C’mon, dude,” Mingyu whines, slumping like a kicked puppy. You pat his bicep soothingly. “You don’t have to make it sound that bad.”
Minghao and Junhui share a conspicuous glance. Mingyu isn’t the type of guy you’d usually go for, but you think this reaction is a bit uncalled for. “He’s not that bad,” you find yourself defending your fake boyfriend. “Mingyu is nice, and he’s really tall.”
You blink. Mingyu turns his pout on you now. “Nice and really tall? Are you for real?”
“It’s true,” you scowl at him. “Are you here to study, or did you just come by to get on my nerves?”
“Okay, well,” Junhui interjects sharply, “Wonwoo and I should get going.”
“Wait, but you two just got here,” you attempt to protest, but Wonwoo, who had been quiet this whole time, stands up and slings his backpack over his shoulder.
“I’ll see you later, Y/N,” he says to you, before leaving along with Junhui.
(It’s not until later, when you’re lounging with Minghao in the living room of your shared apartment, that it hits you, again, but this time with its full weight.
“Wonwoo likes someone,” you say out loud. It’s not a question.
Minghao glances up form his book at you with a frown plastered across his face, his brows creased with irritation. He evaluates you carefully over the silver rims of his glasses, which you know aren’t prescription but are mainly there to make him look elegant and intellectual.
“...yes,” he finally acknowledges.
You frown despite yourself. “I wonder who it is.”
“What does it matter to you,” Minghao scoffs, “you’re dating Mingyu, remember?”
“You can pretend to hate Gyu, but I know you like him better than any of the rest of us.” You really hadn’t been expecting to defend Mingyu twice in a day, but you suppose that’s life as Kim Mingyu’s girlfriend. “And anyways, Wonwoo and I have been friends since we were kids. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me earlier.”
“Yeah, he probably can’t believe it either,” Minghao mutters under his breath so quietly, you almost miss it. Then, in a louder voice, he chides, “don’t think too much about it, yeah? You still have to reply professionally to his advice request. His anonymous advice request.”
“Right,” you sigh dejectedly, frowning at your laptop balanced across your knees. “How do I tell him that he’s not a nerd and a loser without giving away that I know who he is?”
Minghao shrugs. “Maybe tell him to be patient. Or maybe tell him to try to start getting over his crush.”
You consider his suggestion for a moment. It’s appealing, but then the thought of Wonwoo wasting away in his dark bedroom, sighing as he pines over his unrequited love, flashes across your mind. “I just don’t want him to be sad.”)
.
.
.
“C’mon, he was right on top of you,” Wonwoo complains. You can hear the creaking of his gaming chair in the background, undoubtedly as he rises from his reclined position to gulp down more of whatever energy drink he has in his mini fridge this week. You groan and dig your fingers into the junction between your neck and shoulder, trying with little success to work out the knot that’s developed over this last round of PUBG.
“Wonwoo, that’s the problem, I suck at close range,” you huff in response, “you know I get panicky and forget to turn off auto-fire.”
It’s game night, and you and Wonwoo have been at it for the past two hours. Your paper isn’t done yet, but it can wait. It’s been over a decade since the years when the two of you would spend your summers together playing video games and walking aimlessly around the neighborhood with half-melted popsicles, talking for hours. But even as your social circles diverted from his, it’s always been something of an unspoken agreement that for this, you’d always make time for Wonwoo, and he’d always make time for you.
“Another round?” You and Wonwoo both ask the question at the same time. There’s a pause, and then you’re both laughing. Even over the headset mic, Wonwoo’s laugh is loud and unrestrained. It feels like a secret, a side of Wonwoo that he saves just for you and for Friday nights spent on opposite sides of the monitor.
“So.” You’re still waiting for the next match to start when Wonwoo breaks the comfortable silence. “Mingyu?”
You fidget at the ties of your hoodie. It’s stolen from Wonwoo, and you’ve had it since middle school at least. “Yeah?”
“Interesting choice.”
“What does that mean?”
He makes a casual, noncommittal noise. “I’m just surprised. I didn’t see it coming, and you didn’t tell me about it.”
You open your mouth to tell him that it’s actually all a ruse, to explain the whole situation, but the hard, petulant edge to his voice makes you pause. Wonwoo sounds… upset. But not quite upset. Jealous?
“Wonwoo,” you laugh. Onscreen, the timer counting down to the start of the match appears, and you jam on the space bar to make your character jump over his character’s prone body. “Wonwoo, are you jealous?”
Over your headphones, you hear the sound of his gaming chair squeaking. “I’m not jealous,” he says, in a tone of voice that sounds exactly like Wonwoo when he’s jealous.
“You are. Where are we landing?” You toggle to the map in the game and zoom in on the path that the plane is taking. The player count in the bottom starts dropping as other players jump out.
“Blue marker, does that look good to you? There’s a few houses we can loot, and it’s not close to the flight path. If we get bad circle placement, you can shoot me in the foot, if you want. As a treat.”
“Yeah, fine. Lead the way, boss. Anyways, why are you jealous?” You suppress the flutter in your chest. There’s no reason for you to get your hopes up.
“You’re my friend,” Wonwoo says simply. It feels like a heavy towel being thrown over you. “You used to tell me everything. Mingyu is… fine,” he admits reluctantly. “He’s a good guy. I’m happy for you.”
Your heart clenches. You want to say something soft and sincere, but instead, you return with a jab. “You can’t be upset at me for keeping secrets, Wonwoo. What was Junhui saying about you liking someone?”
“Junhui just says stuff sometimes,” he replies curtly.
You frown. “Junhui isn’t a liar, though. Who is it?” You ask, despite everything in you telling yourself that you don’t want to know the answer. “Who are they? Maybe I can talk to them for you.”
He laughs humorlessly. “It doesn’t matter. She’s in a relationship with someone else.”
You almost sigh in relief, but you stop yourself just in time. Why are you relieved? “Oh, Wonwoo. That sucks. She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”
Wonwoo makes a noise that tells you he’s shrugging. “She deserves better than me.”
“Hey!” You sit up, straightening your spine in indignation. “Don’t say that. You’re great, Wonwoo. You’re criminally underappreciated. You’re smart and you’re so sincere and kind, and maybe other people don’t acknowledge it, but you’re really funny and interesting.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and the only thing you hear is the game audio as your character collects supplies and clears the building the two of you are in. “Let me know if you find any gun that’s not a pistol, by the way. I have a 2x scope on me.”
“Thank you,” Wonwoo replies. You know he’s not talking about the scope.
Even though the two of you are gaming individually in your own rooms, you want nothing more than to tug off your headphones and go down the two flights of stairs to Wonwoo’s apartment and give him a hug.
“I have an AKM and a bunch of healing items on me,” Wonwoo says, “come to me and you can have whatever you want.”
.
.
.
It would have been much less embarrassing if you had realized it last week when you were walking to class and Wonwoo had stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk to pluck a fallen leaf from your hair with that stupidly fond expression plastered on his face; or maybe when you accidentally fell asleep in his bed during an afternoon study session and woke up later with your head on his shoulder, legs tangled together, the sound of his soft snoring puffing in your ear, his hand held loosely in yours. Maybe in another life, it would have been one of those soft, romantic moments, like something out of a coming of age anime. But no, because you’re you and your life is the way it is, the moment you realize you’re in love with Wonwoo goes like this:
It’s Sunday, noon already, and you’re in Wonwoo’s shared apartment. Junhui had let you in earlier when you had knocked at their door until your knuckles were sore. When you burst unceremoniously into Wonwoo’s bedroom, he’s still asleep with his glasses on, smudged and crooked, and his phone on his chest. You frown. “Wake up, Wonwoo. Did you fall asleep while watching dramas again?”
Wonwoo jumps slightly and lifts his head, brows furrowing. “Huh?”
“You said you’d go to lunch with me.” You extend your arms and spin to show off your cute, perfectly coordinated outfit, picked out specifically to match the instagram trap you’re going to. You even broke out the eyeliner and glitter eyeshadow to match the cute knit cardigan and wool miniskirt you put on. “What hat should I wear? The fuzzy bucket hat,” you hold up option one, “or the beret,” you hold up option two, looking down at Wonwoo expectantly.
Your best friend groans and collapses back onto the bed, eyes sliding shut. “Um. The beret.”
“Okay great, now get out of bed. Our reservation is soon and you still need to wash your face and get dressed.” You poke at his cheek, which is greasy from sleep and still bears the imprint of his pillow.
“Can you get Minghao to go with you instead?” He doesn’t bother opening his eyes.
“Nope,” you respond, popping the ‘p’, “he has dance practice.”
“Mingyu?”
“He said he had a textile arts club meeting?” You frown. “I’m not sure what it is, but he’s been crocheting like crazy for it this week.”
“Um,” Wonwoo smacks his hand over his face, clearly trying to think of other options. He forgets, however, that he fell asleep with his glasses on, and ends up jamming the frames against this cheek. “Ow. Ok, what about, uh, Seokmin?”
You pout at him even though he can’t see it. “Wonu,” you whine, sitting down on his bed, “I want to go to lunch with you, though.”
At that, he finally cracks his eyes open. “Why?”
Because, you want to say, I don’t want to do this with anybody other than you. You briefly try to imagine doing this whole thing– dressing up, making a reservation, taking pictures and walking around town, huddling together in a cafe in the afternoon to watch the latest Nintendo Direct together– with anybody else, but you just quite settle on it comfortably. No. It has to be Wonwoo. Because Wonwoo is your best friend, because Wonwoo has always been there for you, because Wonwoo just gets you, better than anybody ever has, and every moment you spend with Wonwoo, you feel your mood lifting and relaxing. Because you trust Wonwoo and he trusts you, and because you know him, and you love him–
You love him.
Oh.
Oh.
You’ll have to process that later. “Because you have a car and you can drive me,” you tell Wonwoo instead, shoving the revelation down to the back of your mind and putting it in a box labeled problems for future me.
“Fine,” Wonwoo acquiesces, sitting up with enormous effort. His hair is still sticking up in all directions, making him look like a big dark dandelion. A part of you expects to see him in a different light, now that you think you love him, like there’s supposed to be cherubs singing and starlight in his eyes or something, but instead, you just see regular old Wonwoo. Your best friend. He doesn’t suddenly look like a vision sent from heaven, he just looks sleepy and crusty and a little greasy.
“Hurry up and brush your teeth,” you tell him, slapping him lightly on his belly and laughing at the resulting ouuff that jerks out of him, “you have morning breath and I can smell it from here.”
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From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Re: advice
Dear Cherry, my friend is in love with his childhood friend but she doesn’t love him back :( how do we make her fall in love with him? from anonymous
“Hm,” you sigh out loud, “I wonder if Soonyoung knows that the anonymous signoff is made moot by the fact that he emailed this one in instead of using the anonymous submission box.” You’re draped on the couch with your legs propped all the way up and your laptop on your chest as you scroll through this week’s Am I The Asshole Wednesday submissions.
“You can ignore him,” Minghao says, passing by with a full bottle of wine in each hand on his way to put them away in the kitchen. “I don’t think you should be giving any love advice when your own love life is a mess,” he sniffs.
“You’re the asshole,” you announce, not looking up from your screen. “That was for you, Minghao.” Clearly, he’s still mad at you after you had revealed the whole Mingyu situation to him a few nights ago. You still remember the blistering look that Minghao had thrown at you, like you’re the dumbest human he’s ever had the supreme displeasure of knowing.
“I guess you don’t want to go to the dance team party with me, then,” your roommate responds smoothly, returning from the kitchen. It’s only 6pm, but Minghao is already dressed in a silk pajama set with a matching robe, lenseless glasses frames perched on the tip of his nose, smelling of strawberry-scented lotion as he pours himself a glass of wine.
You scowl at him. “Fine. I don’t care.” Turning back to your laptop, you scroll past a few more boring submissions on your hunt for the truly salacious stuff your classmates get up to. “I wonder what Soonyoung is even talking about, though,” you mumble, half to yourself, as you click on the next interesting subject line.
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.
.
In retrospect, Mingyu was definitely going to win that Greek God competition, even if Jaehyun from Nu Kapp put up a good fight.
Mingyu’s physique is certainly impressive, and the audience erupted when he won the (shirtless and oiled-up, for some reason) pushup contest, but his clumsiness eventually led him to lose at every other physical challenge. It was his overwhelming victory in the popularity vote and personality contest that got him to first place. It’s probably all because of his unwavering friendliness and his constant need for affirmation manifesting into an overwhelming desire to be helpful, but you like to think that maybe you helped too.
That’s why you’re here, in the kitchen of the Sigma house, absolutely wasted at the celebration party the frat is throwing in honor of Mingyu being crowned the best frat star on campus. Between the blunt that you, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin, another friend in your year, had passed around upstairs, and all the shots that Mingyu had plied you with, you’re feeling weirdly bouncy and giggly and not entirely sure if you’ll remember this the next morning.
“Okay, so,” Mingyu mumbles, pulling you closer as the two of you nestle in a corner, away from whatever is going on at the beer pong table, “we should stage a breakup, right?”
You giggle against the hollow of his throat, arms looped over his shoulders. “Can we make it your fault?”
He whines like a kicked puppy. “Why can’t we make it mutual? Jeonghan would kick my ass.”
“Fine, fine,” you huff, not at all reluctant. “We should give it some time so it’s not suspicious, right?”
“Yeah.” Mingyu nods, accidentally knocking his chin against your forehead. “You’re so smart.”
“Which means I’m still on girlfriend duty tonight,” you conclude.
“Oh, come on.” Mingyu’s hands come down to rest at your waist, his fingertips skimming along the waistband of your skirt, eliciting a shiver from you when you feel his rough, warm skin against yours. “You make it sound like a chore.”
You sigh. Oh well, you could do much worse than Mingyu.
You’re not sure if it’s the weed or the alcohol, or maybe just jealousy at this fake version of yourself that’s happy with a boyfriend and not moping over an unrequited crush on your childhood best friend, but you find it strangely easy to lean up and attach your lips to Mingyu’s, feel the wet heat of his tongue in your mouth. and Mingyu, pliant under your grip as always, kisses you back, going along with it without a second thought.
“No offense,” he pants as he parts from you, “but I don’t think I want to hook up with you.”
You blink at him. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No, no,” he clarifies quickly, “you’re a good kisser, I just don’t want things to be weird between us, which I think might happen if we hook up.”
“If fake dating didn’t make things weird, I’m not sure that hooking up would,” you laugh, more of a giggle than anything. You attach your lips to his jaw, pulling him down towards you so you don’t have to crane your neck.
“And also,” he nudges at the hair behind your ear with his nose, “you’re like, totally wasted right now.”
“You’re not sober either,” you shoot back, accusatory.
“More sober than you,” he shoots back. He’s right, though. His large stature means that he can hold his liquor much better than you. “It wouldn’t be fair,” he pouts, stubborn, “and I’m not a creep.”
“Fine.” You tug lightly at the short hairs on the back of his head.
“Are… are you okay?”
Mingyu’s question makes you hesitate for a moment. You lean your flushed cheek against the jut of his collarbone. “I’m drunk,” you respond flatly.
“No, not that, you’re just usually not this…” you feel Mingyu gulp, “clingy.”
You wonder if you should tell him about Wonwoo and your stupid pointless crush that’s starting to feel less like a crush every time you’re with him and more like… something deeper. Something frightening, like a yawning chasm, just waiting for you to fall in.
You’re saved the effort of further deliberation, however, when Mingyu suddenly raises his head and interrupts your thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that Wonwoo?”
You lift yourself off of Mingyu’s chest and look behind you. True to his word, it really is Wonwoo, standing by the door, jacket on, looking at you like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Huh, he doesn’t usually come to these,” Mingyu observes, tugging idly at the bottom of your shirt. “I wonder why he’s here.”
You think you know why he’s here, though. Earlier, back upstairs, you had excused yourself to the bathroom to take a quick breather. Through an alcohol and weed induced haze, you had belatedly realized that it’s Friday night, and you’re late.
you: cn you come pick me u you: at sigma wonu: are you ok? i’ll be there in a few you: sry im drunk you: wanna go home w u
Now, staring Wonwoo dead in the eyes, you realize with a jolt that you had never told him why you asked him to pick you up. You peel yourself off your fake boyfriend and stumble, clumsily, towards Wonwoo, trying your best to ignore the way the room spins around you.
“Wonu,” you whine reaching out to him.
He frowns. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”
“I’m drunk,” you tell him.
“I know.” He extends his arm and lets you cling on to him as you stumble into his torso.
“And it’s Friday night,” you look up at him.
“Yes.”
“We’re supposed to be playing Overwatch together.” You give him the best puppy eyes you can muster, and he blinks at you, looking flustered.
“Huh?”
“Overwatch,” you insist, tugging him towards the door. “Friday night. It’s Wonwoo and Y/N night.”
“Is… is this what you called me over here for?”
You nod and begin dragging Wonwoo out by the wrist.
The cool air outside hits your flushed skin like a wave, like you’re jumping into a pool. Wonwoo is silent and lets you continue to cling onto him as he walks you to where he had parked on the side of the street, directly under a streetlight.
You slide into the passenger seat. Wonwoo hands you a bottle of water, cap already removed for you. “Hydrate,” he orders.
“Sorry,” you whimper, somewhat pathetically.
He frowns. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I must be so annoying,” you mumble, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.
“No,” Wonwoo reaches out and takes your hand over the center console. “You’re not annoying.”
You watch him as he drives. He’s so handsome, your alcohol-addled mind supplies.
“You don’t think I’m annoying?”
“Never.”
Wonwoo says it like a promise.
Silence falls over the two of you as he drives through campus, all the way back to the student housing unit that both of you live in. He turns off the engine, leaving a silence that feels even more all-encompassing. He looks over at you, face half hidden in the shadows and half illuminated by the orange lamplight outside. “Is Minghao home?”
“N…no, he’s back at the party.”
“Okay, we’re going back to my apartment, then,” he decides.
You blink. “Huh?” But you’re already stumbling out of his car and spilling onto the sidewalk, all wobbly legs and loose limbs.
“I’m taking you back to my place,” Wonwoo repeats. “You need someone to watch you and make sure you don’t wander off and get lost in the city,” he explains drily.
“‘M okay,” you whine futilely. It’s especially unconvincing, since you’re still stumbling over your own feet and leaning against him.
Wonwoo lets you rest your cheek on his shoulder and cling onto him as he lets you into his apartment, gets you a glass of water, and digs up a pack of makeup wipes from out of nowhere and sits you on his bed and starts to get to work.
A small (very drunk) part of you bristles at the appearance of the makeup wipes, and you try to scowl, even as Wonwoo gently wipes at your smudged eyeliner. “Whose are these? Do you have a lot of girls over here or something?”
“They’re Junhui’s, he uses them,” Wonwoo explains. He dabs at one last spot in the corner of your right eye, then announces, “there, you’re all done.”
You open your eyes to see Wonwoo grinning dopily at you. “You’re cute,” you poke at his cheek, and he laughs quietly. Seokmin used to be afraid of him, he had confessed to you, and you wonder why, because the Wonwoo you know is so soft, so loveable, so goofy and cute.
The Wonwoo you know is shy and awkward and doesn’t quite know how to fit himself into social situations. He’s clumsy and absentminded and needs someone to take care of him, to dote on him and give him attention.
The Wonwoo that you know, you’ve known since you were in second grade, standing over the boy you had knocked over with a rubber kickball, staring at him as he sniffled on the woodchips and glared at you through big watery eyes. That day, you decided right then and there that this boy would be yours, and now…
“Wonwoo,” you blurt out without thinking, “I’m in love with you.”
His breath catches. Wonwoo pauses, digesting your clumsily delivered confession, and then he makes the most awful expression you have ever seen on him.
It’s raw hurt, sharp, painful. His mouth twists and his brows furrow and he looks at you like you’re something to be afraid of. You hate it. You hate that you’re the cause of it, that he’s feeling this, whatever it is, because of you, even though you’re not sure why.
“Really,” you insist. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls away from you. “It’s true. I’m in love with you.”
You hear a sharp intake of breath. “You’re not,” he says. “You’re in love with Mingyu. You’re happy with him.”
“I’m not… I’m not in love with him,” you try to explain, but your liquor-numbed lips are clumsy and you trip over your words. You lean towards him, slanting your face up, because you want to kiss him so badly it’s all you can think of. Wonwoo shoves you back, hard.
“Don’t,” he bites, voice sharp and tense.
“I’m in love with you,” you repeat, reaching out to him, but he pushes your hand back and steps away. Like he’s afraid of you.
“Don’t do it. You’re drunk.” His voice wavers slightly. “Don’t do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”
You shake your head, but Wonwoo looks at you with so much hurt and confusion in his eyes, you can’t bring yourself to argue. “Wonu,” you whisper, reaching out to rest your fingertips on his wrist, “please don’t cry.”
He takes a long, shuddering breath, eyes closed, and then when he exhales and opens his eyes again, his expression is impassive. Unreadable.
“Go to sleep,” he says flatly. “Tomorrow you’ll wake up and go back to your boyfriend, and you’ll be happy that nothing happened tonight.”
He closes the door to his bedroom, leaving you in the darkness.
(Wonwoo is cold.
He’s always a little cold, but in his haste to escape earlier, he hadn’t gotten a blanket or even changed into sweats before closing the door behind him, and now Wonwoo lays on the couch, his feet hanging over the armrest, staring at the ceiling.
I’m in love with you, your voice rings in his head. Wonwoo’s cheek still burns where you had gently rested your hand earlier. If he hadn’t known any better, Wonwoo might have believed you and given in to his most guilty, far-off fantasy, the one where you love him back.
But Wonwoo does know better. He saw the way you were draped all over Mingyu at the party, the way you giggled into his neck when Mingyu slipped his fingertips under the him of your shirt. Mingyu is good for you, Wonwoo decides. Like you, Mingyu is bright and out-going, popular, well-liked, good at receiving love and gives it readily in return.
Wonwoo closes his eyes, tries to push away the memory of your body curled into his, and wills his mind into silence so that maybe he can get some sleep tonight.)
You wake up, nauseous and hung over and feeling not at all rested, in Wonwoo’s bed.
Groaning, you swipe at your face, expecting to see a gloopy mess on your fingers, but your makeup has already been removed. You squint at the dim sunlight streaming in through the closed blinds, and you reach around blindly until your fingers close around your phone.
There’s a smattering of random social media notifications and updates from group chats, but one notification in particular catches your eye.
wonu: i’m outside wonu: where are you? are you ok? wonu: i’m gonna head inside to look for you
You feel your cheeks flush as the memories come trickling back– your drunk texts, insisting that your best friend picks you up, kissing Mingyu, leaving the party with Wonwoo, clinging on to him like a koala…
Gathering your courage and steeling your woozy stomach, you stumble out of bed and throw open the door, poking your head out. Wonwoo is sprawled across the couch, undoubtedly playing some kind of mobile game, when he looks up at you. His hair is sticking up in every possible direction and his shirt is crumpled. “Hi,” he says, expression impossibly neutral.
“Hi,” you grin, waving lamely. “I feel like shit. I didn’t say anything weird or embarrassing last night, did I?”
He raises an eyebrow at you. “You don’t remember?”
You shake your head. “I remember you picking me up from the frat, I think.”
For a split second, he looks relieved. Then, he puts his phone down and laughs at you. “You didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he grins, “except for abandoning your boyfriend at the party because you wanted to play Overwatch with me. C’mon, do you want to get brunch?”
You press your palms against your throbbing forehead. Your brain hurts, and you’re almost sure you half-remember telling Wonwoo that you’re in love with him, but Wonwoo is looking at you expectantly and you’d like nothing more than some french toast and a hot coffee right now, so you shrug. “Sure, lemme wash up and get changed in my apartment first.”
.
.
.
“Dear Cherry, my friend is hopelessly in love with his childhood best friend, who is currently dating a hot frat dude. Should he just give up? The moping is starting to bum me out and I’m worried my hair is going to fall out. Love, Wen Junhui.”
You wrinkle your nose at the message. “And has anybody ever told Junhui that the whole point of anonymous submissions is defeated when he signs his messages with his full name?”
Minghao looks up from the canvas he’s busy splattering paint on. It’s his semester final project, and you had promised to accompany him in the basement of the fine arts building as he works.
Instead of answering, he looks at you like you’re the densest human he’s ever had the misfortune of meeting. “Maybe he’s not trying to be anonymous. Maybe he’s trying to complain about someone we know.”
You squint at your laptop screen. “Who is this supposed to be about, anyways?”
This time, Minghao actually rolls his eyes at you. “Whatever. Have you broken up with Mingyu yet?”
“Yeah, we broke up two days ago. It was mutual, because Mingyu was genuinely afraid that Jeonghan would kick his ass if we said we broke up with me.”
The two of you had made a whole show of deleting all your carefully staged couple photos off your social media accounts, and then unfollowing and refollowing each other within the span of two days, because as the story goes, you and Mingyu had talked it over and are better as friends than as a couple.
“That’s nice,” Minghao says. He unscrews a jar of turpentine and starts to clean off his brushes. “Maybe you should respond to Junhui’s advice submission.”
You groan. “I’ll just tell him to tell his friend to get over it,” you scowl.
“By the way, what’s wrong with Wonwoo?”
“What do you mean?” You look up. Minghao is now attacking the canvas with a palette knife, carving some dramatic impasto into the paint.
“The last two times all of us hung out together, he’s been all…weird.” Minghao wrinkles his nose. “It’s like he’s some kind of guilty dog. He stares at you when you’re not looking, and then he looks away when you are.”
You chew on your lip, work now long forgotten on your idle laptop. Minghao is right. Wonwoo has been different, but not… different. He’s as unwaveringly weird as always, and he’s been texting you links to youtube cat videos and starting arguments on video game theories as always, but it feels like Wonwoo has been aggressively normal. Like how best friends are supposed to be. Light and easy.
“I don’t know. I feel like he’s been acting weird these days too, but I can’t figure out how.”
“You should talk to him,” Minghao says, like talking to Wonwoo about his feelings is easy or something. Or like talking about your own feelings is easy.
“Or maybe I shouldn’t,” you sigh. Whatever is going on with Wonwoo, you’re just glad he still wants to hang out with you. You’re not entirely sure what you even did wrong, but you’d be willing to beg on your hands and knees for him to forgive you and to stick by your side. “Whatever. We’re gaming together this Friday, I’ll think about it then, I guess.”
.
.
.
“Wonu, I’m scared,” you whine into the mic. It’s another Friday night and the two of you are playing PUBG again. You’re in the endgame now– the original 100 has been whittled down to just 5 players remaining, including you but not including Wonwoo, who had been killed earlier and is now spectating you in-game like some sort of ghost.
“Just sit tight,” he instructs. In your mind’s eye, he’s leaning back in his gaming chair, arms crossed as he observes your gameplay.
“There’s gunshots,” you complain, “North? I think they’re hiding by those rocks. It sounds like they’ve got a good sniper rifle, too.”
“They don’t know you’re there. Just let the other teams fight it out. You have enough ammo?”
You huff. “I have like, twelve shotgun shells.”
“And you have the location advantage. Just sit and wait for now.”
You sigh, aimlessly panning the camera back and forth in your anxiety. “Fine,” you agree, because despite it all, Wonwoo is still better at this game than you are, and because you trust him.
Seconds pass. The audio of distant gunfire in crisp surround sound keeps you on edge and tense, so that when you hear Soonyoung, one of Wonwoo’s roommates, you nearly jump out of your skin.
“Hey, are you busy?”
“Yeah,” Wonwoo replies. His voice is tinny and quiet, but still clear, like he’s slipped his headset off and mic is pushed away. “I’m gaming with Y/N. I’m muted, don’t worry.”
You’re about to shout and let him know that he’s not actually muted, but your curiosity gets the better of you when you hear Soonyoung’s next words:
“Right, speaking of Y/N, that reminds me. Did you hear that Y/N and Mingyu broke up?”
“Oh.” There’s a pause, and then you hear Wonwoo ask, “why?”
“Dunno. Mingyu wouldn’t give me any details. He said something lame, like that they’re better off as friends, or something.”
“Oh. When did this happen?”
“I think on Wednesday? At least that’s what Seungkwan told me.”
“Hm.”
“Anyways, isn’t that great? You can finally shoot your shot!”
“Are you insane, Soonyoung? It’s been less than a week!”
“Well, okay, fair. But next week? She didn’t seem too sad about it in class today.”
“That’s because she was in class. And anyways, this doesn’t change anything between us, so I’m not going to do anything either.”
“Are you kidding me? So you’re just going to keep it a secret forever?”
“Yeah. I’ll die before I tell Y/N that I’m in love with her.”
Oh.
You sit at your desk, staring at your monitor but not seeing anything. Very quietly, you press your fingers against your lips, as hard as you can, and feel the blood rushing past your ears.
“I’m not going to ruin our friendship over nothing,” Wonwoo continues.
“It’s not nothing,” Soonyoung replies with a pout in his voice. “You’ve been in love with her for years. Since high school, at least.”
“She just sees me as a friend, that’s all,” Wonwoo sighs.
Since high school. He’s loved you since high school.
You remember the way he looked at you after prom when he was dropping you back off at home. You had gone with him because the boy you wanted to ask you, some boring soccer player, had asked your friend instead, and Jaehyun had already asked (and been rejected by you) twice, and nobody else had asked you to be their prom date. And Wonwoo, awkward and quiet as he was, had fully expected to skip prom completely, but three days before you had shown up at his locker after school, desperate because you already had a dress and a group to go with and tickets but no date, practically begging him to go to prom with you. And without even thinking, Wonwoo had agreed.
That night, when he drive you home, you leaned your head against the car door with the windows rolled down and felt the wind on your face. At the end, when he parked his car on the side of the street in front of your childhood home, you looked over at him and told him. “I’m so glad we’re going to college together, Wonwoo. I want to be with you forever.”
And he had watched you as you said it, quiet, like he was breathless. Like you had said something terrible and incredible at the same time.
It’s always been Wonwoo beside you, lazy summers spent playing video games, late night phone calls where you’d talk and he’d listen, after class in his car listening to the radio and eating junk food. Had he loved you then? With ketchup on your shirt and acne across your face and poorly box-dyed hair? And had you loved him then too? Before you even knew what love is?
The weight of it is heavy, settling in your stomach like a hot stone. It almost hurts, how much you feel.
You’re interrupted by a very loud spate of gunfire piercing your eardrums and making you jump, shrieking loudly as you’re killed in-game. Onscreen, your bloodied character rolls limply down the hill as “Better luck next time! #2/48” flashes on top of your game stats.
“Aw, second place, so close,” you hear Wonwoo say. Then he pauses. “Wait. Was I not muted just now?”
“Wonwoo, I’m going downstairs,” you tell him.
“Wait–” his voice is tight and panicked, but you’re already tugging your headset off and grabbing your keys.
You nearly avoid tripping over your feet as you run to the stairwell at the end of the hall and fly down the two flights of stairs, to where Wonwoo is. By the time you’re banging at their door, you’re out of breath and flushed. You’re not sure if the pounding of your heart is from the exertion or if it’s from something else. Anxiety, maybe. Fear. Exhilaration.
Wonwoo answers the door. He looks exactly like you’d expect, with his rumpled tee shirt and sweatpants and bare feet, his glasses on and his bangs pushed back with the bunny shower headband you bought for him last year.
“Hi,” you grin breathlessly at him.
“Hi,” he replies.
“Can I come in?”
He takes a deep breath, like he’s steeling his nerves. “Yeah.” He opens the door wider and steps aside to let you in, and you follow Wonwoo to his room.
It’s dimly lit with the rainbow glow of his gaming setup and the ready screen for PUBG still up on one of his monitors. Wonwoo flicks on the overhead light, which throws the room into sharp relief. The sudden brightness makes everything feel more real, somehow.
You sit on the edge of Wonwoo’s bed and pat the spot net to you, which he takes. “Wonwoo,” you say.
Wonwoo purses his lips. “How much of that did you hear earlier?”
“All of it,” you chew the inside of your cheek, drumming your fingers against the bedspread.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “You can pretend I didn’t say any of that.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Huh?” He stares at you with wide eyes.
“What you said earlier.” You pick at a loose thread poking from the hem of your shirt. “Did you mean it when you said you’re in love with me?”
He hesitates, frowning as a conflicted expression briefly flashes across his face, eyebrows drawing together.
“Wonwoo?” You call his name gently to get his attention. “I’m in love with you too, Wonwoo.”
“I–what?” Wonwoo looks at you like you’ve brown another head. “But, you... Mingyu?”
You furrow your brows at him. “Mingyu? Didn’t I tell you? We were just faking so he could win that Greek God competition and get free parking next semester.”
“Wait,” he sputters, “so all of that was fake? You were just pretending to be in a relationship?”
“Yeah. I don’t care about Mingyu, I have feelings for you, Wonwoo.”
“You.” Wonwoo takes a deep breath. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I did!” You widen your eyes, adamant. “At karaoke back in October. You, me, Minghao, and Junhui?” It had been after a particularly grueling set of midterms, and the four of you had gone out for some korean barbeque, followed by boba and an extended noraebang session. While Junhui was crooning to an old Cantonese ballad, you were squished on a couch with Minghao and Wonwoo, and the three of you were talking idly about Junhui’s most recent date.
It’s funny, you remember turning and mumbling to Wonwoo, did I ever tell you that Mingyu and I are faking our whole relationship for clout? But Wonwoo hadn’t responded, so you assumed that he didn’t care. Now, it’s looking more like he didn’t even hear you.
“I was asleep,” Wonwoo states in flat disbelief.
“You were asleep,” you repeat slowly.
“It was dark and I was tired. You didn’t notice that I passed out as soon as we dimmed the lights?” He raises his eyebrows as he defends himself, and you bury your face in your hands.
Click. The pieces are all falling in place.
“Wonwoo. I’m so dumb,” you moan. “I run the Ask Cherry column. All those messages from Junhui and Soonyoung. They were about you, weren’t they?”
“Messages? There were more after the first one?!”
“And they were about you being in love with me,” you recall. “This whole time, I thought you liked someone else. Someone who isn’t me.”
There’s a pause. You can hear the sound of Wonwoo’s PC whirring in the background. And then, Wonwoo starts laughing, choked and quiet at first, and then loud, incredulous, almost.
“God,” he gasps between laughs, “we’re both so, so stupid.” And then you’re laughing too.
In retrospect, it’s all ridiculous, this entire situation. You collapse back onto Wonwoo’s bed and laugh until your ribs hurt, and when you turn your head to the side, there’s Wonwoo laying beside you, glasses askew, grinning.
You giggle and reach out to straighten his glasses. “Hi,” you say to him.
“Hi,” he says back, getting up to lean on one elbow. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.”
You feel your smile widen so much, your cheeks hurt. “I’m in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo.”
He looks at you with so much fondness, it takes your breath away. It’s the way he’s always looked at you, you realize, since the two of you weren’t much more than a pair of kids.
“So, now what?”
“Hmm.” You pretend to think. “Can you kiss me about it, then?”
Wonwoo nods, and his hair flops over the bunny headband as he moves his head. “Yeah,” he says, “I think I can do that.”
.
.
.
(Afterwards, a lot less changes with your relationship with Wonwoo than you thought. After all, he was your best friend for much, much longer than he’s been your boyfriend. He still sends you cat videos at strange hours of the night, and he still sticks sullenly by your side during social outings. Friday nights are still game nights, of course, but now it’s mostly spent on your shared Stardew Valley co-op or cuddling in bed while playing Pokemon together.
But one thing that changes is the kisses. You kiss Wonwoo whenever you can, because you have so much love to give him and not enough time in the day to tell him all the ways you love him. You try, though, to tell him every moment you can that he’s the cutest, smartest, sweetest, kindest, funniest boy in the world, and that he’s the best friend and boyfriend you could ever ask for.
Wonwoo has a harder time with his feelings, but you know, even without saying. It’s in the way that his fingers linger over your hand when he drops you off in front of your classroom, and the way he gives you first pick on all the best loot when you’re gaming together. And when it’s really late at night and the two of you are huddled under the blankets together, listening to the way your heartbeats collide, he whispers it too. “I love you.”
And, Minghao finally admits it. “Fine,” he grumbles reluctantly while the two of you are preparing the upcoming edition of Ask Cherry, “maybe you’re qualified to give love advice after all.”)
#wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#svt#*fic#hi jackie!#jackie! ☁️#asdkjfhfh i dont think i can properly show how much i love this fic#and how much i appreciate u#but hopefully this comes close#i hope 2023 treats you well#and i hope we get to know each other better too <3#i apologize in advance if some of this doesnt make sense#im finishing this while watching smcu palace lol#also i think i come off a bit insane in some parts of this...
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:)
my girlfriend is stressing me out so fucking baddddddd
she got let go from her job in january bc they didn't have enough hours for her, and she found a new job then after not even 3 weeks she literally walked out in the middle of her shift when she fucking KNOWS how much we're struggling right now (and how little i make since i can only work so many hours bc of bad pain) and she still hasn't found a new job!! she's had 2 interviews and has another coming up on friday but oh my fucking god i'm gonna rip my hair out i can't support us on my own i literally can't!!!!! i can't be paying the entirety of rent and all of our other bills :')))) i don't know what to do honestly i feel like i'm drowning. it feels like she doesn't care even tho she says she's trying and is stressed too
i also did our taxes, i had to do hers bc she'll literally just keep putting it off and keep putting it off, and she's NEVER filed her taxes?? even though she's been working for years now but we're common law so it's easier to just do it all together but it was literally like pulling fucking teeth to get her to sign up for the cra and give me her t4s and stuff
i'm also pissed bc i'm sick and need to stay home, so i sent her to the store to get cream for coffee, my bus pass for the month, and some cough medicine and i see on my bank acc that she also bought herself a drink with my money (and didn't get me one lol) and now i have 11 cents left. love that. fucking /s if you can't tell. jesus HECKIN christ almighty
anyway. posting on this blog bc barely anyone will read and i just wanna vent. don't mind me
we'll probably be okay. i dunno. i'm trying out here
bye bye
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Blog update.
For those of you who forgot, or are new, the mandate of this blog is to promote museum accessibility. Especially for ND folk but all aspects of access are explored here.
I'm Farmer (they/them/any) and I'm a disabled museolgist (someone who studies the work of museums).
It is the social media side of www.museumspaces.com which I haven't updated since 2019. Since then I moved to Tofino BC, a town of less than 2000 citizens and a museum smaller than the Small Gallery at the AGN.
I spent 1/2 of 2019 and all of 2020 there and then ran away. I say ran away because that's literally how my brain categorizes my move out of Tofino. Flee. Flight. Escape.
Anyway. This is because right at the start of 2020(before covid got to Canada) I started having panic attacks. Covid made everything worse and I spun into a very deep depression. I don't remember a whole lot of 2020 but I know it sucked.
I somehow reached out for support and had an amazing OT from May-ish until December when I left. She is the only reason I might have stayed.
Anyway on Dec 22, 2021 I got my new appartment. I moved in on the 27th. I hardly left the appartment until February.
I learned to knit.
By mid June I was well enough to start working part time. I'm currently a laundry associate at a hotel. It does not pay the bills. I also thought I was ready to volunteer at the local city museum.
I lasted 2 hours.
My puppy came home to me on Aug. 18th. He turns 9 months old tomorrow. Almost as soon as he got here I've been having odd illnesses. Pink eye, sinus infection, new allergy? Etc. He's doing great and loving the snow. He has also improved my life in measurable ways like I knew a pup would back in 2019.
With @chaotic-archaeologist 's help I've started really exploring archaeology. He recommended a great intro textbook and pointed me towards a Canadian who often runs digs. I might be going on one this summer. I still have some time to apply though.
In the last month I have started applying for museum jobs again. I have interviewed at a few for various positions. I have an interview for a cruise ship art gallery on Friday. Not sure I want that one (my grandma was on a cruise ship at the start of the pandemic), but its good practice to go through the motions. Its been a while.
With any luck I'll land on a job in a museum in a city somewhere. I'm hoping for Ontario but I will go where there is work for me. Then its saving up again and applying to either a second masters or a phd.
With reaching out about jobs etc, I am once again dipping my toe into museum accessibilty. With that I hope to liven up this blog, and the site too.
I can't promise much, but I will try.
#museum education#art museum#museum#museums#museum spaces#museum access#accessible activism#accessiblity
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Henry Cavill One Shot
Okay, so my idea is for Henry Cavill (but also could be Chris Evans bc my love for them is equal 😂) - him & the reader are together but haven’t seen each other for awhile due to filming for some new project. She’s not famous so their relationship is pretty low key. He’s on a press run and an assistant sets up a surprise in an interview and when he walks in and she’s like a guest interviewer and he’s just so excited to see her??
It had been six months since you had seen your boyfriend Henry and you missed him like crazy.
The two of you had been in a relationship for the past three years and since you weren't famous, you had both agreed to keep it low key.
One day, while you were at work, you got a call from Henry's assistant who had come up with a brilliant plan to bring the two of you back together even if it was just for a weekend.
"So the plan is, Henry will be doing a bunch of interviews on Friday and for the last one of the day I am going to sneak you in and we will surprise him. Then, you will have Friday night until Monday morning together."
You had immediately agreed to her plan and Friday morning you headed off the the airport, nerves swirling around your whole body.
"Hey, Y/N!"
When you had landed, Henry's assistant was waiting for you at the gate.
"Hey!"
You walk up and hug her before she leads you out to the car.
"Alright so the interviews are taking place at a hotel so we will just hide you in my room until we are ready for you."
She explains the plan on the drive and once you make it to the hotel, she takes you to her room.
You spent hours waiting until finally she comes back to get you.
"Ok, Henry went to use the bathroom so it's the perfect time to sneak you in."
She says and leads you to the room.
You take a seat in the interviewer chair and wait impatiently for Henry to come back.
"Only one more Henry and then you can go get some dinner."
You hear her say as she leads Henry back into the room.
"Ok but can you just order something to my room I really don't feel like going out."
He sounds almost sad as he speaks and it breaks your heart a little.
"Whatever you want boss."
"Lets start this interview th-"
He stops speaking as he walks past the cameras and lights and sees you sitting in the chair, his eyes going wide.
"Y/N?"
He says almost not believing what he is seeing.
"Hi baby!"
You stand up and wrap your arms around him, taking in his smell and the feeling of being in his arms again.
"Wha-? How? When did you get here?"
He asks you when you break apart.
"Your assistant came up with this brilliant plan so we could spend the weekend together. I got here this morning."
You explain and Henry looks over to his assistant, thanking her profusely.
"No need to thank me. I just couldn't stand seeing you mope around anymore."
She laughs then leaves the two of you to get reacquainted if only for a few days.
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ok not to jinx it bc it's not official or anything but i think i may have just gotten offered a teaching job??
it's at a high school i applied to literally over a month ago and they had me do a video interview but i never heard from them again (i'm assuming they hired someone else who changed their mind for whatever reason) but they emailed me asking if i was still interested and i said i was, so i did a zoom interview with the english dept head today, and their first day of school is this friday so he told me right away after the interview that he wants me to move forward in the process, so probably tomorrow i'm going to interview with the principal, but from what i'm told that's really more of a formality (plus unless the principal like HATES me for some reason, which i don't foresee happening, i doubt they're gonna want to start the interview process over with someone else since the teacher institute days literally start wednesday)
but anyway so the dept head literally only asked me 2 questions before asking if i had any questions for him, which made me think i'd blown it and he was ending it early bc he didn't want to waste his time or whatever, but he said my answers today and my written answers on the application/my portfolio represented me well and he feels like he knows enough to make a decision! he said they do have other candidates they've been looking at but that he's going to put them on hold so he can move forward with me, and then he said "i can't do anything official until you meet with the principal, but i'm essentially offering you the job" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think it's gonna be mostly/all junior american lit (which is good bc that was one of the 2 classes i taught while student-teaching so i'm familiar and comfortable w the curriculum, which is good bc i'm not gonna have much time to prepare lol), regular level and i think a couple co-taught classes (also good bc i'll someone to show me the ropes at the school)
so yeah again it's not official yet but it looks like i'll get to teach this year after all!!
#and thank fucking god bc ive been through hell this summer trying to get a teaching job lol#this will make it all worth it for real
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hi katelyn i dont have any special reason to be sending u an ask im just in quarantine and bored and i wanted to say hi ❤️ and i hope life is going ok for u! (and maybe so this is a real ask here’s a question: any workplace drama recently 😳)
Hiiiiii monique!!! I hope all is going well with you too. I'm typing from my laptop so you can tell I'm seriously trying to put off work, but life is going alright! Im going to put this under a read more because I started writing a lot
I'm good but ive been having a rough time socially. im trying to navigate a balance of giving my time to my friends/family/romantic prospects Whatever bc I owe that to them, and because it's part of growing up and being a young adult, while also trying to face the real fact that I am deeply exhausted emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. etc. and I love being alone. and there are not enough hours in a day for me to do this stuff AND eat three meals and clean and like have hobbies or just time to myself. or SLEEP. but I can't say no to people because I don't want to disappoint them. and I have been ending up in situations with various people in the last couple of weeks that have made me uncomfortable because I wasn't honest or forthright. idk. writing this out it makes me sound self-involved because im like I just have too many people that want to hang out with me </3 but for this and other reasons im going to start seeing a therapist next week for the first time ever which is so surprising even after typing it out I had to fact check w myself
thanks for asking about work! last week was 6 months since I started and I couldn't believe it bc it has went by so quickly. every day is exciting and new. im never ever ever bored. also shes paying for my certification program that im enrolled in rn so im like. roped in another good 2-3 years at least. I have NO clue on how my go-back-to-school-eventually plans are going to work into this. but no workplace drama! except now its just me and my boss because my coworker John (doubles as my boss's best friend) very much did NOT like the work but I loved HIM and it was so fun to have him around for the last couple of months. his last day was friday. now she's trying to hire someone to do admin stuff and answer phones and file bc I literally cannot do that and try to bill like 25+ hours per week, and it is soooo fun looking through resumes and listening to interviews and stuff. I love giving you updates. sorry my presence is so minimal sometimes!! let me know how you are too
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You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job
In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.
The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.
This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)
Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.
The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).
Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.
They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).
With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).
There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.
There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.
One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.
We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).
We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.
We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."
The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.
Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).
I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.
He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.
It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).
They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.
Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.
I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).
Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.
Food for thought, lads, food for thought.
#plush gets personal#joanns#joann fabrics#employment#retail hell#or well#not so much hell for this one#retail... purgatory? yeah that'll work
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good afternoon! i’ve been playing my switch nonstop, sleeping and trying to catch up on all your series and an even starting sculptures since i figured that even though i haven’t watched tr that ill read it since you wrote it <333 being more involved irl is so boring like id rather be on here more just reading fanfics, talking to my moots and just being on my switch and talking to others who play the games i play
just to make sure that you’re up to date on everything i’m planning on reporting my teacher (the one i told you about since i just feel really uncomfortable around her after the interactions due to feeling like she guilt tripped me and gaslighted me and also am reporting the group of people who alienated me and made me feel terrible on campus not only bc it should be dealt with but bc no one should have to go through what i did
i think you said in an ask you might be coming down with a cold so regardless if that happened i hope you’re feeling better and if no one said it today i’m vvv proud of you and even tho you may be on hiatus on here ill still send asks and check in! if you ever want to talk we can through discord!
- 🌻
as you should. end this semester wiping your hands with people and things that's caused you stress within these couple of months. i hope the professor actually gets what coming to her. cause some professions highkey be making students lives so much harder for no exact reason. i've dealt with many professors like that my four years of undergrad. i once got kicked out of class for not doing my homework, which was because i had to go to an event for another professor....which the professor backed me up on !! the professor claimed that i could have just went to the t.a to get the homework assignment, mind you the t.a didn't even like to be bothered by us...he hardly was even in the lectures as is !!
anyway, i been drinking some tea and taking small naps to brush off the cold because i have to interview someone friday. but i'm not taking my hiatus until literally that friday of my interview. i hope to get some work done outside of tumblr.
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secure
✰ paring: namjoon x reader ; established relationship
✰ genre: fluff
✰ synopsis: “why do you love me?” ; basically namjoon is a big softie for reader
✰ warnings: cursing like once lmao
✰ word count: 3.5k
today i spent my time thinking about the concept of love and how people love differently. this is the product of that. also yes i was thinking about this bc i was listening to 5sos’ new album, calm.
It was 1 AM. The two of you were sprawled lazily on the new couch you got. Legs and arms were intertwined as you let the hours slip by, your eyes glued to the television screen and your bodies glued onto the soft couch.
Ever since you and your boyfriend of 10 months, Kim Namjoon, had become official, things had just gotten better and better. Wherever he went, success and happiness prospered. Now, you weren’t one to believe in superstitions, but Namjoon was like a good luck charm to you. Whenever he was around you, you were always happy and good things came to you. Namjoon was just good in general, always taking care of you and always showering you with gifts.
In fact, just last night, Namjoon got you that new couch that the two of you were laying down on. Even though he told you he was coming over that night, it was taking him a long time to get to your house. You figured that he was working extra hard at the studio, which also explained why he wasn’t responding to any of your texts.
Unbeknownst to you, however, he actually decided that he wanted to replace that tattered down brown couch you had in your house. He always felt uncomfortable on it. It was too scratchy. You’d always just roll your eyes at his antics, explaining that you couldn’t afford another big purchase like that right now. So he took it upon himself to replace it for you. He had actually left work early in order to find the perfect couch for you. When he reached the furniture store, he ended up getting a white sofa, not really knowing what the difference was, but he was sure that you wouldn’t care since it was so comfy. It was one of those sofas that you could just sink in and lay down in all day.
He still wasn’t responding to any of your texts, so you figured that maybe he wasn’t coming over anymore. And that was okay. You knew that sometimes work demanded a lot out of him and you didn’t want to bother him. To your surprise though, you heard a doorbell ring. You couldn’t really believe the sight before you. Namjoon was standing at the door, with a slick sheen of sweat glossing his skin. A huge box accompanied him, and he greeted you with a grin.
You smiled at the memory, also realizing that Namjoon was in your arms right now. The boy snuggled into your chest, and you unconsciously put a hand up to his brown hair, combing the strands calmly through your fingers. He hummed in delight, tightening his grip on your waist.
Even though you were half his size, Namjoon was always insistent on resting his head on your chest. It made holding your waist easier for him, which also meant he could hold you closer to him. You, of course, found this endearing, and also a good excuse to constantly play with his hair. It was a win-win.
You loved nights like this. Nothing else in the world mattered other than Namjoon and you being together. It was serene and you felt all your anxieties go away. He always felt like he was at home in your arms. Soon enough, both of you would fall asleep on the couch, still snuggled deeply in each other’s embrace. You could tell that Namjoon was getting groggy as his body seemed to reach a standstill and his eyelids drooped down. Before you slept, though, you wanted to see what would happen at the end of the chick flick you two were watching, even though you knew what would happen in the end.
It was just your typical cheesy movie. A selfless, kind girl moves to the city for her new job only to get coffee spilled on her by a playboy. She’s pissed off. He’s selfish. He gets to know her. They fall in love. She learns to love herself and he learns to love other people. No matter how many times this same plot was reused and recycled in countless of movies, you still felt your heart flutter when the boy would profess his feelings for the girl.
That scene was playing. The girl was moving back home due to heartbreak, which was slightly illogical since she had such a good job. You decided to ignore that fact, but chuckled softly at yourself. If Namjoon was awake and watching with you, he would say that and point out how dumb it was. He always wanted to watch action movies when you two were together, but once he saw how cute your face was when you blushed at a romance movie, he never mentioned any movie other than chick-flicks. Eventually, he started liking them too, but he’d never openly admit that to you. You could only tell because he’d start paying attention to the movie more than you at certain points.
It was raining in the movie and the girl had to get gas before her long drive home. You felt your heart race in anticipation for what would happen next. The boy came running to her in the rain, and he shouted for her. She wiped a few tears, trying to keep up her cold front. He then confessed to her, telling her that he never felt the way he did ever before. He told her that she changed him and he couldn’t bear to live without her. The girl then ran into his arms and they kissed in the rain, saying “I love you” over and over again. The background music got louder, letting the audience just experience the two characters’ love for each other.
I love you. You always thought it was such a strange phrase. Not that it was bad, since you were obviously so in love with the boy lying on top of you, but you always thought it was fascinating how heavy those words were. You were constantly cautious about that phrase, only saving it for the person who really mattered.
Namjoon, however, never really put any weight on that phrase. In fact, he may not even remember, due to the countless of times you two have said it to each other, but you can vividly recount the first time he told you that he loved you.
It was a Friday morning in August, and you were on your way to a job interview for an office job at a big tech company you’ve been wanting to work at since forever. You and Namjoon had been dating for one month at that time, and it all felt like a dream.
But right now, everything was a nightmare. You just barely heard your alarm, almost oversleeping. Your hair was extremely messy and even though you tried to keep it in tact by putting it in a nice bun, a bunch of loose strands still appeared. On your way to Namjoon’s car, you accidentally spilled coffee on your skirt. Namjoon reassured you that it wasn’t that noticeable since you were wearing a black skirt and you hoped that he was telling the truth. He also reminded you that you’d be sitting down the whole time, so it shouldn’t be that big of an issue.
While in the car, your hands got even clammier than they were before. You used your phone camera as a mirror in an attempt to try to tame your unkempt hair, but it wasn’t working. You felt your chest go tight, anxiety increasing. Your head went dizzy and you tried your best to breathe as you fixed your appearance. Namjoon picked up on this right away, and he placed a hand on your thigh to draw you out of your panic. You took a deep breath and put your phone away, realizing that you were getting way into your head. He gave you a soft smile and you grabbed his hand and placed it in your own, letting Namjoon’s touch bring you back to earth.
Namjoon squeezed your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He stayed quiet, knowing that you just needed things to be quiet when you were freaked out. Any noise would just set you off, so the car ride was silent, save for the soft R&B music playing on the radio.
Soon, your ragged breathing returned to a normal pace, and the knots in your chest went away. You were still a little dizzy, but you could pull yourself together. Then, you had reached the building.
You gave Namjoon a peck on the cheek and unbuckled your seat belt. You stood up from the car, straightening your skirt. Before you could close the car door, however, Namjoon said your name, grabbing your attention.
“I believe in you, Y/N,” He saluted you, showing off that goofy grin you adored so much.
“Thanks, Joon,” You saluted him back, giggling. You were about to close the door but then he called your name again.
“Also, Y/N,” His gaze met yours, and he stared at you lovingly, “You look beautiful today.”
“Oh, um, thank you,” You blushed, fidgeting with a fold in your skirt that was semi dry from the coffee spill.
“I love you,” He flashed you a soft smile, dimples appearing once again. You felt your heart stop and a soft ringing played in your ears.
“I love you too,” You said without even thinking.
And with that, Namjoon drove away to find a parking spot. You stood in front of the building, dumbfounded. Namjoon had just haphazardly threw that phrase at you. And you had just responded with the same recklessness! Your ears went hot at the thought of what just happened. You tried to reason with yourself. Namjoon was a very loving person, so maybe he’s just used to using that phrase right away, and you did love him a lot, so you weren’t lying either. It couldn’t be that bad.
You found out that it really wasn’t that bad. Later on, you’d get your job, and after the interview, you could tell that Namjoon did really love you. Once you got out of the building, you saw him waiting outside of his car, with a bouquet in his hands. You didn’t even know that he had left to buy them for you! Even though you didn’t know the results of your interview at the time, Namjoon was extremely proud of you. You ran up to him and he pulled you into his arms, spinning you in the air and making you both laugh. And from then on, countless “I love you”s were said between the two of you.
“Y/N, baby?” Namjoon croaked out, voice gravelly and scratchy because he had fallen asleep.
“Yeah?” You mumbled in response, finally out of your trance.
“Ah, there she is,” He grinned snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, “You weren’t responding for, like, 5 minutes and you were just staring at the ceiling! I thought I lost you or something.”
“Never,” You giggled, his breath tickling your skin, “I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Why do you love me, Joonie?” You asked rather abruptly. The question surfaced on its own, and you didn’t even realize that you had asked that until an uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt your heart race uncomfortably and dread fill your stomach. Was this it? Maybe Namjoon didn’t really love you, and he was just bored of being alone.
Your thoughts started racing around you uncontrollably until Namjoon pulled himself out of where he was snuggled, hovering over you. He placed a soft kiss on your lips before smiling at you, resting his forehead on yours. You felt at peace, and you let go of the breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding.
“What kinda question is that, dear?” He questioned, chuckling, “I love you because you’re you.”
“I mean, like, don’t you think you said ‘I love you’ way too fast?” You pouted, jutting your bottom lip out, “We were only together for a month when you told me that you loved me.”
“Well, sweetie, if I know I love you, I’m gonna say it right away, so you know,” He answered calmly, and repositioned the two of you so that could now rest your head on his chest and he could play with your hair. You smiled, happy at the warmth emitting from him. The movie had ended a long time ago, and it was you and Namjoon talking in the safe silence of your home. It was most likely 3 AM, and you felt your eyelids droop down slowly. Namjoon held you closer to him, placing a soft kiss on your forehead as you slowly fell asleep.
Namjoon was no longer sleepy since he had already fallen asleep for a little bit. He looked at you endearingly, loving how peaceful you always looked when you slept. He hoped you were having a good dream and he continued to stare at you, thinking about the conversation you two had. What did he love about you?
Well, what didn’t he love about you?
In fact, he was surprised that you thought he said that he loved you so early. Even though you two were together for only a month then, Namjoon felt like he was waiting for forever just to say that to you. He knew that he loved you right when he met you, and he was desperate to get the chance to say it to you.
He knew he loved you when you introduced yourself to him at a café, because he noticed how you’d always fidget with whatever you could get your hands on, whether it be the sleeve of your sweater or the ripped hole in your jeans. He noticed how nervous you were to talk to him, your soft voice trembling as it tried it’s best to carry every word you wanted to say. You didn’t even know why you wanted to talk to him, you just felt drawn in by his stare and you needed to know him. He vividly remembers the first words you said to him.
“Is this, uh, is this seat open?” You said sheepishly, trying your best not to slur the words together, “There’s no more seats open.”
Namjoon, in fact, knew that that was a blatant lie, since there was actually another table open that you could sit at. He found it cute, how you tried your best to find an excuse to talk to him. He nodded to your question, setting his book down as he introduced himself.
“I’m Y/N,” You smiled, and he felt his heart grow in size, “I wanted to talk to you about that book you’re reading, actually.”
Your smile widened once you grabbed your bag and pulled out your own copy of the book he was reading. Before he could even say that this book was one of his favorites, you immediately started rambling about how much you loved the book, a bright twinkle in your eyes.
Right at that moment, Namjoon knew that he loved you.
After that, the two of you hit it off right away, constantly texting each other and meeting up the café or the library in your free time. One time he mentioned to you that his favorite color was purple, he noticed that whenever you were with him, you always had a purple accessory. Whether it be a purple headband, hair clip, earring, or just a purple plush keychain that was attached to your bag, he never knew. It was always a nice surprise when he saw you. He thought it was so cute.
Namjoon felt his love for you grow even deeper once you met his friends. They were a rowdy group of 7, including Namjoon, who were always goofing off when they were together. They had already known a lot about you, and they were practically dying to meet you. Jeon Jungkook was especially excited. Namjoon constantly talked to Jungkook about you, because everyone else was sick of hearing you. Min Yoongi would always flick Namjoon’s forehead, teasing him for fawning over someone he wasn’t even dating. Kim Seokjin would join in on the fun, and then everyone would slowly join in the teasing fest. They even said snarky comments about you, saying that you were a weirdo for always texting Namjoon whenever you read a new book or if you saw a cute frog on your walk to your house.
But once they met you, everyone immediately retracted their teasing statements about you. When you arrived at Namjoon’s house, you had a surprise for everyone. Namjoon told you quite a lot about his friends on your late night walks through the city. He’d tell you about all the weird things they did and how he thought you’d get along well with them. Well, you really didn’t want to disappoint.
When Namjoon opened the door, he was surprised to see you carrying 7 bags with names written on them.
“I brought everyone gifts,” You giggled, struggling to carry all the bags in your arms, “If that’s okay.”
Before Namjoon could say anything, the 7 boys were already running up to the door, intrigued to see what you looked at. You felt your cheeks turn hot as they took in your appearance and they all greeted you with a smile.
“These are my friends, if you couldn’t tell already,” Namjoon said rather awkwardly, and you could tell that they were all trying so hard not to laugh at him. You smiled, saying hi and introducing yourself to everyone as Namjoon carried your gifts so you could take your coat off and relax.
You passed around the gift bags, which all had a sugar cookie in them and a small trinket of what each boy liked.
“Whoa, Namjoon!” Jungkook was the first to open his gift, and he was extremely excited, “She got me an Iron Man keychain! Look at it! His arms and legs move!”
“Kumamon?” Yoongi brought out the plushie and examined it, a smile appearing on his face, “I don’t have this one yet. Thank you, Y/N.”
“KAWS! A keychain!” Hoseok grinned, showing his gift off to the other members, “Wow, Y/N, I don’t know you and I already like you!”
“Ooh, a new Mario shirt!” Seokjin ran off to the bathroom to change into it right away, “I look good in this. Good job, Y/N.”
Taehyung and Jimin both squealed in delight as they opened their gifts, seeing new copies of the manga that they liked. Everyone found their reaction humorous, laughter filling the whole house.
Even though you were happy and satisfied with everyone else’s reactions, you were dying to see Namjoon’s reaction to his own gift. You nudged at Namjoon, who was sitting next to you, and excitedly bounced your leg up and down in anticipation.
“You should open your gift, Joon,” You pointed to the bag in his lap, and he nodded. Everyone else watched, surprised by the nickname you had given him.
It was a blue pajama set that had his favorite character, Ryan, printed all over it. He flashed a grin at you, remembering that he only mentioned that he liked Ryan maybe once or twice to you. He pulled you into a hug, feeling a warm a feeling in his chest. Everyone grinned at the two of you before teasing Namjoon.
“Oi, Namjoon,” Seokjin snickered, “Are you crying?”
“Shut up!”
Namjoon laughed softly at the memory of that day. He loved how you were always so attentive to the things he said, bringing things up about him that he himself even forgot. He knew that he loved you right from the get-go. Not just because you were pretty, because Namjoon was never nervous around you. His feelings for you weren’t fleeting, like puppy love in high school. He knew that he would love you forever, because he felt secure with you. You tried your best to impress not only, but his friends, who were basically his family. And don’t even get him started on when you met his family. They, like Namjoon, loved you right away and knew that you were a keeper.
His mom even scolded him the next day, telling him that if he lost you she’d never forgive him.
You stirred in your sleep and all of Namjoon’s attention was back on you. You must’ve had a bad dream. He hushed you, cradling you in his arms until you were calm again. It was probably 4 AM. Namjoon took a deep breath of the cold air, admiring your features once again.
“I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you,” Namjoon sighed, heart breaking at the thought. But he knew that he loved you and you loved him, so he wasn’t worried. You were his home, and he was yours. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he knew damn well that he’ll do anything to make sure that you’re still his.
He placed another soft kiss on your head before falling asleep too in the quiet, calm house, where you could only hear Namjoon’s soft breathing with yours.
this made me soft and i would do anything for kim namjoon k bye :,)
#bts namjoon#kim namjoon#namjoon fic#bts fic#bts fanfiction#bts fluff#kim namjoon fluff#bangtan#kim namjoon ff#im so soft#crying#kim namjoon oneshot#namjoon fluff#kim namjoon fic#namjoon oneshot
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