#bc they’re clearly a fucking idiot

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

Sometimes being a queer woman means spending a fucking hour in bed arguing to the air second by second against a transphobic add you somehow got showed on youtube

[ahalliance]

ever since openly coming out as trans irl, everytime someone misgenders me i inch closer to losing my absolute shit

[d3stinyist1red]

GIRLIE, YANDERE OLDER MAFIA BOSS!!(TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE OTHER REQUESTSSSS!!💗)

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ʙᴏss x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

yan mafia boss who you work under, with him being your boss and your his right hand woman

yan mafia boss who treats you like you own him, following with whatever you say

yan mafia boss who doesnt like any medics touching him, wanting you to be one treating him

The medic was standing in front of him, clearly fearful for her life bc the man in front of her could kill her if she did the slight mistake. She tried to pat and help the wounds of the Mafia boss who smacked her hand away and huffed.

"Bring me my n/n, now." He said glaring at her as she quickly nodded, basically running to you. She told you about how he refused to let her help and touch him as you sighed. You rubbed your temple before nodding and smiling at her.

"Don't worry, Ill deal with him." You said politely, nodding at her before walking past her, going to the room where he was at. You opened the door and you saw the way his eyes lit up, and a grin landed on his usually nonchalant face. "Love!" He said, as you walked up to him.

"Why are always acting so stubborn to the medics? You know that they're there to help you, idiot." You said clearly irritated, making him pout and tilt his head. "But, I want you to help me!!...and have your hands all over my body..." He whined, grabbing your hand and resting it on his cheek, looking up at you with hearts in his eyes.

yan mafia boss who has to always be in constant contact with you

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

n/nnn

where are uuuuu

n/nnnnn

n/nnnn

...?

...

...

no reply?

Have other hoes?

YOU DO DONT YOU?!!!?!?!!?

i hate u.

You getting blocked.

dont talk to me. I know you hate me.

Okay, im going to kill my self.

...?

....

...

This is (yans name, yall could make sum up) cat, he just shot himself

do you love him

...

...?

baby you know that was all a prank

i love u

pls let me eat ur ass

i wanna slurp ur kitty so good that the only thing i could taste is u mami

(seen 1 min ago)

ʏ/ɴsᴅ𝟷ᴅɪᴄᴋʀɪᴅᴇʀ!

ur rlly gonna leave me on seen?

ur lucky i dont come and cream all over ur face rn

pls touch me

yan mafia boss who has his bodyguards protect you no matter where you go

"Okat sigma 1, hawk tuah, ohio go protect n/n, you better fucking protect her with your life, ya hear?!" He said to his bodygaurds aggressively, scowling them down as they shook in fear,....i think one of them peed their pants...erm!

yan mafia boss who is madly jealous, putting a bullet into anyone's head he sees as threat for your love.

yan mafia boss who when you arent around, he struggles to sleep. He tosses and turns, his mind racing with scenarios about what they might be doing or who they’re with. "is she with that ugly bitch from work again?! Is she with one of my bodyguards?! Is she cheating on me?!" He hiccuped through his sobs, biting on his nails, hair all messy from tossing and turning throughout his sleep

He often wakes up in a cold sweat, feeling empty without them next to him. If you spends the night somewhere else, he'll start spamming you on everything even roblox.. If you dont answer within 5 mins, he immediately sends his men to try to find you, and paces around his house, restless waiting for your reply. bruh u were js buying sum takis...

yan mafia boss who is your boss who favors you a little too much!!! <333

IM PROB GONNA UPDATE SOME MORE ON TUMBLR BUT IM STILL ON BREAK ON WATTPAD CUZ I LOST MY GOD DAMN PHONEEE

SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT I DIDNT RLLY KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR MAFIA BOSS YAN

[sexlapis]

Ho! I loooooooveeee your actor toji fics! Is it possible to get added to the taglist? Thank you ~

Also an idea: a bts scene of reader getting sick on set(perhaps even collapsing) due to fatigue and toji taking care of them- I feel like that'd be such a hit ship moment irl :D

thank you for liking my fics <3 you can be added to the tag list 🩵.

and omg yeah i love that idea of reader overworking themselves and toji looking after them :’). and yeah i didn’t make it a behind the scenes clip i made a short fic abt it bc i do not know when to stop.. like give me an idea and i will fly away w it like a bird liek..i don’t even think this is what you asked for srsly…i hope you don’t mind (but i’ll add it to my tojiyn headcanons hehe)

cw: actor toji x actress reader, hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, swearing, petnames (‘kid’, ik people don’t like this one but i think it’s so sweet & so toji :)), collapsing, mentions of skipping meals/not eating, poor sleeping habits, feelings of loneliness & inadequacy, crying, toji taking care of reader, i made this way more angsty than you asked sorry :(

wc: 2k+

you dragged yourself through the doors of the studio, immediately bombarded by directors, stylists, scrip writers and other cast members on your way to the dressing room, only fuelling your fatigue and stress.

sleep was a foreign concept at this point. five hours at most. so were healthy, filling meals - the last time you ate was yesterday at noon, and for breakfast today all you had was a cup of coffee, not helping your nervous, exhausted state.

admittedly, you were not doing very well. you felt that your acting was subpar and you felt lonely and isolated on set. while everyone went with their friends for a break or lunch, you sat by yourself in your dressing room, your only company being the silence.

sure, toji was also on set too, but he played a very minor role, so he wasn’t always there. and even when he was sometimes, he would hang out with the other crew members, which wasn’t a problem of course, but it did sting a little when he chose them over you.

you just felt so lonely, anxious and quite frankly upset at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.

there are a few knocks at your dressing room door and you weakly tell them to come in.

toji peeks is head in. “hey, kid. we start in five..” he takes a look at your weary face, dark eye bags prominent even through the makeup the stylists caked on and the frown on your lips and just knows something is wrong.

“are you ‘right?” he asks quietly, like you’re a deer who’s about to run away at the slightest of sounds.

“yes, i’m fine.” you lie, a voice in the back of your mind wishing he’d just ignore you like everyone else on this damn set does.

“‘you sure? ‘cause you don’t look-”

“i said im fine! just get out.” you snap, heart beating and breathing heavily at your own outburst.

fuck. you didn’t mean to say that.

but toji doesn’t look offended. he just nods and walks away footsteps fading as you put your head in your hands and sob.

so there you are, acting in front of the camera with your colleague in a scene where toji appears in too and you just seem off. everyone assumes it’s just not your day today and they’re not exactly wrong. you lines were slightly forced, tired and you were jittery and clearly apprehensive, like you didn’t even want to be here.

“cut!” the director calls out, more than annoyed with your behaviour. it was the sixth take and you’re really trying to make it believable, but it’s futile.

“this is the sixth take _____. this is ridiculous. get your act together. let’s take five.”

you look down at your shoes, face hot and chest thudding with embarrassment due to the director calling you out in front of everybody. tears well up in your eyes and you sigh, blinking them away as everyone starts talking again, walking away leaving you standing there like an idiot.

it all becomes too much for you. your empty stomach, oncoming headache, exhausted body, dry mouth, furrowed eyebrows, sweaty palms-

you let your script fall out of your hand as you stumble off the green screen, trying to get to your room before a hand is grabbing your arm. you turn around and it’s toji again.

“hey..” he leans down slightly to your height, scanning you over once. “you don’t look so good, _____-”

you shrug him off, vision becoming blurred with black static and limbs heavy and shaky. “i-i jus’ need to go. to my..uhm-” you stop, rubbing a hand down your face harshly. “i just-”

and then there is black.

౨ৎ

you come to and realise that you are laying on your dressing room couch, staring up at the ceiling. reaching up, you feel a wet, cool cloth on your head. you take it off. still fuzzy and body essentially lethargic, you try to sit up.

“hey, hey, hey.” toji whispers.

oh, toji’s here.

“take it easy.” he helps you sit up on the arm of the couch. he hands you a bottle of water and you drink it like a god.

“wait, what happened?” you ask, still confused and disoriented.

“you fuckin’ fainted that’s what,” he states bluntly. “scared the fuckin’ dogshit outta me.”

“oh.”

toji sits beside you on a chair, looking at you closely. you look down.

“the med team checked you out.” he tells you. “said you fainted, collapsed-whatever the fuck. ‘cos of stress and exhaustion. they even checked your blood sugar and said it was low as fuck.” he pauses. “not dangerously low,” he adds at the sight of your worried expression, “but.. low enough.”

you sigh, falling back on the couch. you think back to how the director shouted at you, how annoyed he was, and how humiliated you felt. tears start to form again and you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to cry in front of toji. you felt like you’ve had enough embarrassment for today.

toji leans forward. “what’s happening with you?”

the way he said it, so soft and concerned, makes the tears fall down and cause sobs to escape your mouth, hiccuped breaths falling from your mouth.

“hey, hey, hey..” toji coos. he reaches to you and makes you sit up again so he can take you into his arms. you let him, sobbing into his shoulder and sucking up all the comfort he gives you. toji’s big hand strokes your hair and the other caresses your back softly.

“shh, sh, sh…” he calms you down a little, you sobs turning into sniffles. he leans back and gives you space but his hands stay planted on your back. “tell toji what’s wrong.”

you hum sadly, looking down and gulping. “i’m..i’m tired. i wanna sleep..”

toji waits for you to continue. he can see you want to say more so he doesn’t hurry you along, he just rubs your back and nods to let you know you’re listening.

“i..” you take a breath, “i dunno what to do..i can’t do this fucking role.. i’m fucking tired half the fucking day and my so called colleagues don’t even like me!” you try to calm yourself down, taking another shaky breath. “and i just feel..lonely all the time..” you cry out the last few words, feeling another sob session coming up and toji pulls you close, letting you ruin his shirt with your tears as he rocks you back and forth in his arms.

“it’s okay, it’s okay..” he coos, resting his face in your hair.

you both stay like that for a few moments, you weeps dying down before toji talks.

“you can play this part, _____. ‘you have any idea how good your are, huh? you can act circles around half ‘these guys.”

you scoff, pulling your lips together. “i dunno about that..”

“‘m serious. _____, you can act, okay? ‘wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

“yeah but..this one’s hard..” you sigh, voice cracking but toji doesn’t let you start again.

“yeah, acting’s hard. but i can help you,” toji cups your wet face with his hands, wiping the tear streaks that paint you face, “we can all help you. the crew, your friends, that bitchass director. i’ll put a gun to everyone’s head to make them fuckin’ help you with this.”

you giggle at his seriousness and he huffs, relieved that you’re relaxing a little.

“they don’t hate you, y’know. everybody on set. the cast. they just think you’re a little shy and quiet. they don’t hate you, okay?” toji reassures you. you nod absentmindedly and he shakes your head from side to side to make you pay attention, making you smile, eyes crinkling even though they’re still tear stricken. “there she is..who the fuck could hate you, huh?”

“ugh, toji.” you roll your eyes, sniffling and rubbing your face. you pull away from him. “ugh..i just want my bed right now.”

“yeah..i know it ain’t my place but told the director that you’re taking a few days off. you need a break, kid.”

you didn’t even argue with him. you couldn’t.

“yeah, i do.” you agree.

suddenly, a loud rumble from your stomach erupts, it was like an earthquake.

toji laughs. “someone’s hungry.”

you groan. “‘m starving. haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“we’re getting you something to eat.” he states, leaving no room for objections.

toji stands, holding his hand out for you to take. you do, his large, calloused hand dwarfing yours as he helps you stand up. “can you walk?”

“i will if there’s food involved.”

“that’s good.” toji chuckles, “how’s takeout sound?”

a/n: had to write a whole fic abt this i apologise 🥸 will add the tag list later i just keep forgetting the users </3

[jeanboyjean]

I THOUGHT OF ANOTHER ONE👀👀👀

What do you think jean’s reaction would be if he likes you but yall aren’t together, and he catches you staring at one of the other guys after a workout, or something like that (I just know he’d be so dramatic lmao) feel free to pick one person, give a general reaction or a list, whichever you want, no pressure 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

asjkjskj OKAY so i just started writing and this is what i blurted out akjsdfnsd he is actually so dramatic i love it when he’s a little pathetic like let me love you u silly man. this became 500 words HAHA

Jean knows.

He’s an idiot but he knows he shouldn’t be jealous. In fact, he has no right to feel anything at all. He shouldn’t even be looking to be honest. And yet, he can’t help it. Not when his world slows to a stop, walls caving in, vision tunnelling to zero in on you every time you’re in the same room together.

His grip tightens on the dumbbells he’s holding, knuckles white, teeth clenched. The sound of his blood pumping roars in his ears, silencing the music blaring in his earphones. 

Why the fuck are you staring at him? 

There you are, sitting on a bench across the gym in your cute little workout outfit and instead of looking at Jean, your eyes are locked on his friend in front of you. Reiner’s deep in a squat, with at least three plates on each side like the miserable show off he is. You must be between sets, with your water bottle in hand, but your gaze is fixed on his form as he grunts out another rep.

Honestly, Jean can’t even blame you when Reiner’s out there throwing around weights like it’s nothing. If he was attracted to men, he would probably be checking him out, too.

Jean huffs in annoyance. He looks down at his arms and flexes his triceps. Sure, he may not be as beefy as Reiner, but he’s no slouch himself. Why is it that you never seem to notice?

Sometimes he’ll feel a glimmer of hope when you smile at him the way you do with that little twinkle in your eyes as if laughing at an inside joke only the two of you share; only to be shattered in a second when you turn that same look on someone else. There’s only so much more of this he can take before he feels like he’ll be about ready to burst. 

Jean knows he should just look away and focus on himself. But how can he when you’re right there, looking as perfect as ever despite being sweaty and messy from working out. Hell, it only makes him want you even more. He wishes it could be him making you sweat. You would never need to go to the gym with the way he knows he could work you out. If only he could just muster up the courage to tell you how he feels. All he wants is to just make you his. He swears he would do anything to give you everything. 

He’s burning holes into Reiner’s body with his eyes and the other man must be able to feel it because he halts, looking up into the mirror to make eye contact with Jean. Reiner double takes and racks his weights. Clearly confused, he slides his headphones off his ears and turns to face Jean with his eyebrows raised. The movement catches your attention and you stir from where you’re sitting on the bench across from him. 

Your eyes follow Reiner’s gaze to land on where Jean is standing, seething, still gripping the dumbbells like his life depends on it. And then, Jean’s heart stutters and the air leaves his lungs in a whoosh … because there it is. Your smile. You've got that smile lighting up your face and now all the tension is escaping his body, leaving him weak in the knees. What he wouldn’t give to have you look at him and only him that way. 

When you lift your hand up in a small wave, it's the nail in the coffin. That's it. He’s going to have to make you his now.

teehee! 

jean’s out here simmering thinking you’re staring at other guys … which true bc they’re also pretty hot … but in this instance you were actually zoning out and reiner just happened to be in front of you. 

i chose reiner #1 he’s gym dad #2 i can’t keep making every situation jean x reader x eren. 

[rainy-writers]

When are y’all gonna get it through your heads that no one actually cared if the Velaryon boys were bastards or not? They could have come out with white hair, violet eyes, the whole shebang and the rumor still would have been spread because it was meant to undermine RHAENYRA and her claim, nothing else!!

It was a misogynistic attempt to paint her as reckless and irresponsible and another way for the greens to push for Aegon. It was fear mongering, meant to say “Hey! Choose Aegon because you guys don’t want a bastard on the throne, right?” And it didn’t fucking work, save for on the idiot audience that still eats this shit up and genuinely believes that the dance happened bc Harwin and Rhaenyra weren’t married, rather than realizing the whole theme is MISOGYNY!! ITS ABOUT USURPING A WOMAN NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES, SOLEY BC SHES A WOMAN AND NOTHING ELSE!!

If she had no kids = Vote for Aegon cause she’s barren!!

If she had kids = Vote for Aegon cause they’re bastards!!

If she has kids that look exactly like her = Vote for Aegon bc her kids are clearly Daemon’s bastards am I right? Vote Aegon bc he’s clearly the more responsible of the two with his trueborn kids!!

It. Does. Not. Matter.

And it makes me so mad, especially when people say that the realm wouldn’t have accepted Jace like DUDE. Nobody is just casually going around saying these kids are bastards, save for the people that KNOW they can get away with it if they’re caught bc Viserys wouldn’t dare punish them. Aka:

Alicent, Otto, and her nightmare kids. That’s it. No, some random Lord in the Reach wasn’t preaching about Jace, Luke, and Joff being bastards. I sincerely hate to burst your bubble (NOT!) but you guys as an audience care more than the actual people that live in this world and it’s so funny.

Basic media literacy will tell you that NO, Westeros did not care. How do I know? Well it’s simple really. If they cared then majority of them simply wouldn’t pledge to support Rhaenyra, clearly knowing that Jace is her heir??

I mean, these are all of the houses that supported Rhaenyra AND Jace:

I mean do yall honestly think Cregan Stark thought Jace was a bastard when he swore an oath in BLOOD with Jace, marched PERSONALLY to the south AFTER Jace was dead, and tried to literally kill the CHILDREN of the Lord’s who rose up against him and Rhaenyra?

Do you think Lady Jeyne gaf when she personally pledged to support him? Lord Manderly? Hm.

No, they didn’t lmao.

So please, kill this narrative that “There was going to be rebellion if Jace ascended the throne” and “The realm wouldn’t accept him bc all of them secretly knew he was a bastard despite having no proof because his father, his grandfather and THEIR KING never said otherwise.”

It would not have happened y’all. And one day you blood purist, Velaryon boys haters are going to get it through your head that YES !! They were legitimate because no one ever said otherwise. It was never proven. Rumor isn’t proof. Hair isn’t proof for fucks sake. You need actual words from Laenor himself saying that RHAENYRA cheated and those boys are Harwin’s. You need Corlys passing over Luke for Driftmark and outright saying it’s because he’s a bastard to even get a SHREAD of doubt from the great houses.

One day you guys are going to realize that those boys were loved and no matter how much you try and discredit them, they will always be legitimate. Whether you like it or not, Viserys was content with Jace being on the throne after him, THE REALM was content, and Corlys Velaryon was ready to die peacefully knowing Luke was going to be after him. Hell, he damn near handed that boy the keys so don’t you dare say Luke didn’t deserve to inherit anything.

And sorry for the long post but some of yall are really starting to piss me off. Never mind that this is fiction, your attitude towards these boys is disguising and saying that they don’t deserve a good life, that they dont deserve things that were literally GIVEN to them with no complaints, and even going as far as to call them dirty or saying they deserve to die all because their mommy and daddy weren’t married is fucking disgusting.

This “bastards don’t deserve anything,” attitude needs to stop being preached by real life people. Hell, some of the people saying this are literally in the wedding photos of their own parents wedding LMAO. It concerns me on how much disregard you guys have for adopted kids (which is basically what they are to Laenor), and I’d hate to see the shit you preach in real life. Acting like blood actually matters in order for someone to be considered family.

Because regardless of what you believe, had their mother not been usurped because she was a WOMAN, Jace would have ruled, Luke would’ve gotten Driftmark and, yes, the world of Westeros would’ve kept fucking spinning.

By law these boys were legitimate and people seem to forget they came out of Rhaenyra’s coochie so REGARDLESS, they are Targaryen. Like unless Viserys or Daemon was their father, they were always going to be half NOT Targaryen lol…Just like Alicent’s kids. It just so happens that they’re half Strong, but again, it doesn’t matter, because Jace gets his claim from RHAENYRA, not his father, so even if Harwin was married to Rhaenyra he still would’ve been the heir?? Even if it wasn’t Laenor who was his father, he’d still be heir because of his mother and being married to someone does not change that.

Some people even go as far as to argue that they’re not Targaryen so Jace shouldn’t be the heir which is stupidest thing I’ve ever heard and the most blatant case of misogyny ever. Like unless your father cloned himself then you STILL get half your genes from your mother dumbass. They are as much Targaryen as the Hightower kids with their DARK HARIED PARENT, it just so happens that their Targ side is from a woman, not a man. Which, like I said, if you don’t consider them Targaryen just bc they don’t get their claim from their father then we know what you are. 🙃

But anyways, to make a long post short, yes these boys are legitimate, they were recognized as such by:

The King himself (who they’d be inheriting from)

Rhaenyra

Laenor (their father, who they’d be inheriting from and wanted Luke to have Driftmark)

Corlys (their grandfather, who Luke would be inheriting from and wanted Luke to have Driftmark)

Rhaenys

The Realm

History

And if you still don’t believe me, here’s the official Targaryen family tree from Fire and Blood which all of Westeros sees :)

You see how they’re listed as Velaryon? You see how they’re directly linked to Laenor and there’s no little astric saying how they’re bastards? Yeah me too.

PS - Read Fire and Blood as well. This whole argument about them being bastards is literally stemmed from no more than two paragraphs, IF that. And their legitimacy is never brought up again.

[djs-sideblog-for-pog-trains]

@putuponpercy's (and previously, @togetherness23's poll) post on the matter of James and "would you still love me if i was a worm"ing has been rattling around in my brain for a few days.

so i wrote 1.7k words about it. It was supposed to be silly but got a little sad/tender at the end. (heavily drawing on my hc that James suffers insomnia and sometimes its bc of night terrors)

--- --- ---

It starts far too late at night – or really, too early in the morning. Thomas is roused from his sleep at a whispering of his name. Not a subtle whispering, though, not one that actually respects the fact that he was asleep, but a stage whisper, fully intending to wake him up.

“Thomas.”

James and his bloody insomnia, Thomas grumbles, blinking blearily awake, squinting in the gloom of the shed at his fellow engine – a dark red shape just on the edge of his vision.

“Thomas, are you asleep?”

“I’d love to be,” he replies, yawning. “What time is it?”

“Never mind that,” James says, and his voice is hushed, but not really hushed enough, and Thomas winces at how his sharper consonants cut through the quiet. “I have an important question.”

“Have you slept yet?”

“Sure,” says James, and he sounds like the answer to that question is barely. “Look, Thomas, would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Thomas blinks once, twice, before he squints harder in James’ direction, trying to see the engine’s expression. If James is fucking with him right now, he doesn’t appreciate it.

“Did you really wake me up at…” Thomas looks up now, there’s a clock hanging inside the sheds for moments like this, “god, 3am, to ask me that? James.”

“Thomas,” James says back, and he matches Thomas’ flat tone, but there’s a hint of something alarmingly sincere simmering under it that Thomas would really love not to think about at 3 in the bloody morning. “I’m serious!”

“No,” Thomas says. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh,” James says, and – Thomas purses his lips as his eyes have adjusted enough to see James’s face in the moonlight that cuts through the high windows of Tidmouth Sheds – the idiot actually looks relieved. “I thought you were saying you wouldn’t love me.”

“James, are you-?” Thomas tries to keep his voice from raising, but he can’t help it. His indignation ends up waking Percy beside him, who must be well-attuned to the sound over all these years. “You’re an idiot.”

“What’s he done now?” Percy asks, still half asleep.

“He’s woken me up to ask me a stupid question,” Thomas says. “And now you!”

“What’s the question?” Percy stops to yawn too, but he seems very unwilling to open his eyes properly so he can hopefully drop right back off to sleep.

“Would,” James cuts in, a little louder so Percy can hear clearly, though Thomas reckons he’s just outright trying to wake the whole sheds now, “you still love me if I was a worm, Percy?”

Thomas watches Percy’s expression now – mostly because it makes him snort. Percy blinks a couple of times as well, comprehending, before he glances at Thomas, deeply confused.

“What?” he asks, and he looks more awake now. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer it!” James says. “Would you?”

Percy scrunches up his face. “I mean,” he says “I don’t really like worms. And they’re so small, I’d lose you, it wouldn’t be fair.”

“So… no?”

“Can we keep the chatter down?”

“Great,” Thomas mutters. “Now you’ve woken Henry.”

“Henry,” James says. “Maybe you can answer. Would you sti-?”

“James, I’m begging you to go back to sleep,” Thomas says. “We all have trains to pull in the morning.”

And another voice joins in. “That we do,” comes Edward, sleepily. “What’s all this about?”

James shoots Thomas something that could be a glare. It’s hard to make out in the dark. Thomas shoots him one back.

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” he asks. “Either of you?”

“…What?”

He’s even stumped Edward.

Henry sighs sleepily. “Worms are valuable little creatures,” he says.

“So is that a yes?”

Henry purses his lips, the closest equivalent to a shrug he can get. “Sure,” he says.

“Sure?” James echoes, and his voice raises again, he sounds a little outraged, and Thomas lets the aggravation write itself across his face. He knew he should have stayed at the Ffarquhar sheds tonight. Toby would never do this to him. “Henry, you can’t just sure me.”

“Ask me when it’s not the middle of the night,” Henry says.

There’s a lull in the conversation, where James falls into one of his stewing silences, and Thomas glances back down the sheds to see Henry yawn and settle back down, Percy’s eyelids flutter back closed.

Then, “Why ask, James?” Edward asks, and Thomas glowers.

“It’s-!” James flushes a little. “It’s… I overheard someone asking it once, and it- it’s a hypothetical. A test.”

And then, what Thomas has been dreading.

“What are you yammering on about?” Gordon asks. He sounds dry and bleary, so freshly woken up he isn’t controlling his volume, and his voice booms in the quiet of the sheds. “A test of what?”

“Of friendship!” James insists.

Gordon blinks at James too, before he frowns.

“What was the test?” he asks.

Thomas sighs loudly.

James sighs too, before he asks his question. “No one else has given a real answer yet. Would you still love me if I was a worm, Gordon?”

Gordon… closes his eyes, holds his breath. He looks like he may be counting to ten.

Thomas can’t help but snort.

Gordon’s silent for a good long moment, and Thomas glances at Percy, who’s now more awake, too, and they can’t help but shoot each other a little grin.

“That implies,” Gordon says slowly, “that I’d love you now.”

Thomas can’t help the guffaw that leaves him, even as James goes quiet for a good long moment.

Then, “…you don’t?”

“Not at 3 in the bloody morning,” Gordon mutters grumpily, pointedly closing his eyes, though he does open one for a moment to glance at James beside him. “I don’t think I like anything at 3 in the morning.”

“He has a point,” Thomas agrees, even as James goes from staring abashed at Gordon to  Thomas, and he actually looks a little wounded. “What?”

James pouts, though his bottom lip does genuinely wobble a little.

Thomas frowns at him. “…Are you alright?”

“Fine,” James says in a voice that’s a little too thick. “Sorry. Go back to sleep.”

“…We would, James,” Edward calls. “Just for the record.”

“Of course you’d say that, of all engines,” James shoots back, and he closes his eyes a little too tight to be causal or gentle enough for sleep, and Edward huffs from his berth at the opposite end of the sheds. “Look, just…”

“We didn’t mean to actually upset you,” Percy says softly. “If it’s that important to you, then yes, James.”

“…Do you want to be a worm?” Gordon asks after a moment, and he’s shooting James a most curious look, which only makes James flush again, and harder. “It’s a most peculiar thing.”

“No!” James says. “The worm is a metaphor.”

“Don’t call me a metaphor,” Percy mumbles, which makes Thomas snort and shoot Percy a dry look.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Fine by me,” Percy replies, and he yawns wide before he closes his eyes. Henry’s already snoring.

Edward sighs also, but Thomas sees him resigning himself to trying to get back to sleep.

Gordon is still looking at James like he’s really thrown a spanner in the works here, and James refuses to meet Gordon’s eyes, though he does shoot Thomas a look.

“Look, it’s a yes-or-no question,” he says. He sounds remarkably fragile. Then, he pouts, and glances at Thomas, then Gordon. ‘If you can’t bring yourself to admit how you love me, then that’s fine too.”

Thomas can’t help his laughter. Gordon snorts too, shooting Thomas a dry look of his own, before closing his eyes.

“That’s enough nonsense for one night, little James,” he says. “Some of us have important work to do tomorrow, I imagine yourself included. Do try and actually sleep?”

James’ lip curls a little, but he doesn’t bite back.

In fact, he goes silent until the sounds of even breathing and gentle (and not so gentle) snoring fills the air once more.

And Thomas squints back up at the clock. He has shunting he’s expected to do in just almost 2 hours, now, but…

“Why does it matter, James?” he asks again. He knows James isn’t asleep yet.

“It’s not about the worm,” James says, so very softly. “It’s about the love.”

Thomas blinks twice, before scrunching up his face a little.

“I don’t follow.”

“Would you love me if I was a worm,” James repeats. He hesitates before he continues. “…Would you love me if I was suddenly tiny and… incapable, if I was worthless.”

He then sighs, clearly trying to breeze past what he’s just said, even as Thomas’ eyes widen, and he shoots James a far gentler look.

“Look, it’s silly,” he says. “Just-“

“Yes,” Thomas says softly. “Even if you were suddenly different. Or even useless, I’d still love you. I promise.”

James’ breathing hitches. He sounds remarkably genuine.

Thomas has a thought, and he frowns.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, James.”

James is the one to snort now, and he sounds tired.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I overheard a couple of children say it to each other on the platform a week ago, and it’s rattling around in my smokebox since. Isn’t that stupid?”

“Eh,” says Thomas. “Maybe. Not really. Humans are weird like that anyway.”

That does make James laugh, thankfully.

They fall quiet again, before James pipes up again.

“Thomas?”

“Yes, James?”

“Thanks.”

Thomas eyes James. He does have to admit it: James looks like he needed it.

“Of course,” he says, closing his eyes. “Goodnight, worm. Love you.”

“Lo- Thomas, don’t call me that. Thomas. Thomas.”

Thomas ignores him, pointedly closing his eyes and yawning before settling down, even as James tries to get his attention again, hushed and a little frantic. He only peters out when it’s clear Thomas has stopped responding, and Thomas really has to hold back another laugh as James lets out the most forlorn sigh he’s heard in a long time.

James settles back down to sleep, now, too, but not before one last thing.

“Love you too,” he murmurs. “Goodnight.”

Despite himself, even as sleep drags him back down into its inviting depths again, it makes Thomas smile.

[girlsdads]

Hard agree with your previous anon, they’re so right when the bring up this: “Checo’s his gap to Max is bigger than the gap between Max and Alex, Max and Pierre, Daniel and Lando, and Nyck and Yuki. And they were all fired for it. And whenever anyone some up in defense of those drivers we were shouted down by other fans and f1 journos and told “this is a cutthroat sport, you either perform or you’re gone”.

I remember during the McLaren era when fans were (rightly) pointing out that you don’t just go from 119 points and P5 with the 5th fastest car on the grid to barely scraping points and it was so clearly the TEAM failing Danny. And we were all called delusional….now of course, it’s not Checo and his soon-to-be fourth season being 200 points behind Max, it’s the team obviously not supporting him and messing with his mental health 🥺

Don’t get me wrong there IS a conversation to be had about how abusive the RBR hierarchy works and how there’s always the threat of “perform or x will take your seat” but my sympathies only extend so far given the fact that Danny’s McLaren years STILL to this day have denigrated every achievement he’s ever had and still lead to “washed” allegations despite the fact he’s proven his strength in devolving that VCARB wheelbarrow to a semi-competent car.

I love Yuki, but let’s not get it twisted. Yuki has been driving that car for three years - I would surely hope he would be outperforming the guy that’s new to the team, after not racing for months, and has taken on the majority of the car’s development/experimentation. And despite being the better driver for the first half of the season, he still misses out AT’s highest grid position, VCARB’s highest quali position and highest sprint position to Danny. I’m just so sick of the hypocrisy where Danny is constantly in a position where he has to justify his place.

If you listen to idiots like Villeneuve, VCARB have just pulled all these upgrades out of thin air while Danny swans around and makes PR videos. But of course, Checo can sit in P-fucking Siberia all season and not a word shall be said against him.

every anon in my inbox rn y’all are intellectuals!!! i agree with all of this especially the difference in car quality, i feel like it doesn’t get brought up enough in media etc bc everyone’s focusing on how the RB20 isn’t AS GOOD as the RB19 but be so fr it’s still one of top cars at least compared to the absolute bottom of the mid barrel VCARB01… like can we please look at the comparison!!! daniel has been extracting the absolute MOST from what he has and he’s done better than checo MULTIPLE times even with that shit box. of course i’m hugely biased but regardless i think it’s glaringly obvious that RBR need a driver who can extract the most performance from a less-than-perfect car, which daniel has already shown to be able to do and checo has… not.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

hii!! i love your tangerine fics and i was wondering if you could write one where tangerine and the reader are enemies/rivals/can't stand each other and for some reason are sent on a mission together

they accomplish the mission but the reader is hurt and tangerine has to "patch" her up (not sure if it's the right word for that but i think you know what i mean) and maybe stich her up. while he's quietly scolding her for being irresponsible/getting hurt he notices that she's crying (maybe bc it's hurting or she's afraid of needles or both)

thank you angel<3l

(Wo)man with a plan

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@little-miss-dilf-lover

@earth-elemental18

You and the twins weren’t enemies exactly, more like rivals. Tangerine and his brother always somehow beat your number one spot in the agency. Whenever you got sent on a mission, they got sent on three. It was ridiculous, and they were clearly being favored.

So when they told you that you had to go with them on a mission, you feel like pulling your hair out. They’re asking you to stay with your rivals for a whole day!

“Just get the job done fast and you’ll be fine, girl. Plus, tangerine is like… fine as hell. I wouldn’t mind staying with him for a few days.” Your friend said while she took a sip of her milkshake.

‘ She wasn’t entirely wrong’ you thought, but quickly shook that thought away. “You’re not helping!”

Your friend shrugged “Sorry. Just saying the truth.”

You groaned and put your head on the table, you spotted something in the corner of your eye.

Tangerine and Lemon.

You side-eyed them while they came up to you and your friend.

“So, we’re going on a mission together?” Lemon asked.

“I guess so.” You mumbled.

“This is ridiculous. They can’t change it?”

“I already asked. Apparently it’s some hard mission that three of the best agents need to go on.” You mocked them.

“Great. Just fuckin’ perfect. C’mon, Lemon, we still gotta debrief.”

They walked away and you rolled your eyes and turned your head back to your friend.

“I mean, who actually debriefs? I just click yes to all the questions on the computer.” You rolled your eyes.

“Same. It’s just too annoying.”

“I mean, Why can’t we be partnered up? We’d be great partners.”

“I keep asking, but noooo.” She rolled her eyes.

“Fucking idiots.” You sighed.

——————-

The mission wasn’t too hard.

The three of you stalked the target, apparently it was some millionaire who was a gang member and a big deal. The rival gang leader saw him as a threat, and that’s why your here.

You looked through your sniper scope, and followed him with it. You put it down and turned to them, you threw crouched on a roof

He had lots of bodyguards, so it wasn’t gonna be too easy.

“Alright, so what do you say we do?” You said.

“I say we snipe them all from up here.” Lemon said, thinking better than his brother.

“I think we should just go down there and do OUR thing.” He emphasized the our, referring to him and Lemon.

You usually did long range, and you were better at snipers, which was your main weapon.

“Seriously? Now is not the time for this. There’s too much of them, and you’d be too outnumbered.”

“I’ve handled more than them by myself.”

“Yeah and you almost died.” Lemon snickered, his brother hit him in the arm.

“Jesus Christ. Would you both shut up?” You mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“So, what do you think we should do, Angel?”Tangerine scoffed.

The gears turned in your head as you thought. You grabbed out a piece of paper that you always had and a pen that you also always had.

“Why do you just have paper and a pen in your pockets?”

“Because I’m prepared to plan, unlike you.” You mumbled.

You started to draw out a plan.

“Okay, so this is you both.” You pointed to two circles with a T and a L, then you pointed to what was supposed to be a back door that was unguarded. And you continued with the plan, they understood and the plan begun.

You stayed up on the roof, while they went down and knocked out most the guards while you shot the others. They were on high alert, and you didn’t notice some of them look directly at you and sneak out from the other door.

One had come up behind you while you focused on the boss, then he came up behind you and stabbed you in the back. You yelled out in pain, and dropped your gun. He stabbed you again in your stomach once you turned around.

You quickly jumped on him, scratching him and punching his face repeatedly. You grabbed his knife that he had dropped on the ground and stabbed him in the heart, twisting it and then leaving it and standing up heaving.

You didn’t have time to worry about you bleeding out, and instead you immediately picked up your gun and looked around for the boss.

It wasn’t that hard to kill him once the people guarding him dropped to the ground and he was the only one left. He held out his gun, frightened. He finally saw you, you smiled to yourself and shot him before he could shoot you.

You put the gun away, putting it back into your bag behind you.

You sat down, breathing heavily. You took out a first aid kit from your bag, you didn’t realize how much you were really bleeding. You held your stomach and your head rolled back.

“Fuck…” you mumbled, looking at the blood on your hands now.

Tangerine and lemon came over to you, both worried.

“Oh shit. Alright.” Tangerine said, he sat next to you and slapped you so that you did not fall asleep.

Lemon handed him some bandages as tangerine lifted up your shirt, he grabbed some towel that was in the first aid kit and applied pressure on the wound. Once the bleeding somewhat stopped, he put a bandaid on it.

“He get you anywhere else, Angel?”

“My back.” You mumbled, pointing.

He mumbled something you didn’t hear and looked at your back, he lifted your shirt up and shook his head.

“That one’s not as bad, but still..” he put a large bandage on it.

“There’s a safe house not too far, we should probably head out.” Lemon said.

“Yeah.” Tangerine said, and held out his hand to help you stand up. You grabbed it and walked next to him.

“It’s not that bad, yeah?”

“Nah, I’ve had worse.” You said.

He chuckled. “Of course you have.”

——————

As soon as you got to the safe house, lemon was asleep.

Tangerine stayed up, he patched you up even more. You complained that it had hurt, and he had hesitantly agreed to let him take care of it even more.

He pulled off the bandages, and looked at the blood. He grabbed some rubbing alcohol and put it on the wounds, your shirt was off and you were left in your bra. If you currently weren’t hurting so much, you would’ve been embarrassed. But you weren’t.

You sucked in a breath as soon as the cold liquid hit your skin, it burnt and tangerine was focused.

“You’re so irresponsible. This is why I keep telling them explicitly that I don’t wanna do missions with you. You’re a good assassin, we just don’t work together-“

It burnt, it felt like your stomach was on fire almost! Your tears hit his arm and he looked up.

“Jesus Christ- Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m crying.” You mumbled and wiped away the tears.

“Does it burn?”

"Yeah.”

“You’re crying because it burns?”

“Well… yeah.”

“You’re a top assassin, you’ve been shot and stabbed multiple times and you’re crying because rubbing alcohol burns?”

“Yes.” You laughed out, still crying.

He laughed quietly and shook his head. He continued cleaning it.

“I didn’t mean what I said. You’re not irresponsible. Just kinda wish I saw the bastard leaving soon so that I was in bed already.”

You laughed quietly “I’m sorry, about all this.”

“It’s alright.” He shrugged it off. He didn’t get much sleep either way.

And maybe, just maybe, this team would work out.

[fantasticallyfruity4]

Okay idk abt where y’all are from but my local HS had a paramedic on site for football games at all times.

And considering we’re all down bad for paramedic Steve rn, this feels like a great au (Also, has to be punk Steve bc like, it’s me come on, I want to give Eddie a heart attack.)

Lucas decides he wants to try out for football fall of sophomore year and the part is, begrudgingly supportive.

And max and Dustin are on marching band, so they’re at the games to. And Mike and el and will and Jonathan are just there on the basis of comradely and good friendly support. And of corse Eddie and his van have to be the kids chief mode of transport.

And Eddie doesn’t meet paramedic Steve (cute paramedic Steve with the lip ring and the nose ring and the eyebrow stud) because poor sweet little Lucas got squished by some freak out on the field, or bc his good friend chrissy took a hell of a tumble coming down from a cheer and he’s such a worried friend fussing over her like a mother hen, or bc somehow someway Dustin got whacked in the nose by a flute.

No, he does this all by himself. All his own brilliance. He went to check on the Byers + co contingency before going back to hovering over his little band babies + his two accidentally adopted jocks, and takes a fucking header off the bleachers. Clears a good 3 feet if he doesn’t say so himself.

So sweet pretty paramedic Steve of corse rushes over to him in an instant, sitting him up against the side bleachers, shining a light in his eyes, asking where he is, when it is, his name, and they’ve got a little crowd of the byers + wheeler + the little Mayfield and Henderson but Steve’s paying them no attention and Eddie doesn’t even see them.

The paramedic introduces himself as Steve, he says “I’m Steve and I’m gonna make sure that you’re feeling okay tonight, okay sir?” And eddie nods dumbly.

And Eddie is answering sure, but he’s really making Steve worried bc he’s so wide eyed and taking a second to answer and it’s just worry some (he’s having a very in love mental breakdown, okay, let him be. He’s speed running visions of a life together. He’s understanding what “love at first sight” means for the first time in his life.). He’s got a the man he didn’t even know was in his dreams fussing over him. He’s going to explode.

“If I knew I’d have such a cute paramedic I’d have fallen off that wayyyy earlier tonight” Eddie says then slams his mouth shut and goes wide eyed in horror. Steve just laughs, a beautiful sound. Not at Eddie, no it doesn’t feel taunting, it’s a beautiful sweet sound.

“We’ll, if you’re thinking clearly enough to hit on me I think you’re heads definitely okay. Do you have a headache at all? Any dizzyness? You took a hell of a header, Eddie.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No just like my actual nose hurts from smacking into the dirt”.

Steve nods. “May I?” “Corse man it’s your job”.

Steve chuckles. “Stop making me laugh man, I’m on the clock. Does this hurt?” “No” Eddie answers in the most nasally voice with Steve’s fingers still squeezing his nose and he wants to die because what was that sound? But Steve just smiles softly. “Good, awesome. No pain? Breathing okay?”. Eddie nods dumbly. “So I’m gonna bet it’s just sore from smacking into the dirt, not broken.”.

Eddie nods dumbly. Again. For the 20th time that night. He can’t function. “So why don’t we just get these cuts here cleaned up?” Steve decides, reaching into his bag for a million supplies. “Think I’m gonna get any cool scars?” “Nah sorry man, not with these little guys. But it’s for the best, why mess with perfection anyway, right?” Steve winks dabbing some shit that BURNS on Eddie’s cheek before putting on a bandaid and Eddie might be going into cardiac arrest.

“I like your uh, piercings” Eddie spurts out like an idiot.

Steve grins. “Thanks. Got a peak of those bats when I first came over, got any more?”. Eddie snorts a laugh. “Yeah a shit ton. Nothing easy to see though my uncle would hang me if I made myself any less hirable”. Steve chuckles at that. “Hey man the whole f-d is all old military dudes covered in their shitty navy tats, i wouldn’t be too worried.” “Oh so there’s more where this came from? Maybe I should fall more” Eddie taxes, just a little. “Watch it” Steve chuckles.

“Okay I think you’re pretty patched up, handsome. But considering everything don’t drive tonight, especially if you have passengers. You have a ride home? Someone to call?” “Yeah I’ll just make it one of my friend Jonathan’s problem, that’s fine”.

“Okay, good” Steve nodded, taking out a small pen and pad from his pocket and writing something. “And this friend Jonathan… he’s not a boyfriend, right?”.

Eddies jaw fucking drops. Literally drops. He’s going to spontaneously combust. “Nah, no, nope man” he stutters out. “Okay, gotcha. If anything starts hurting tonight, if you get dizzy, any nose bleeds, give me a call. Or… you know, when you’re feeling better give me a call too”. He hands eddie the piece of paper with a smiley face and the name ‘Steve (the paramedic)’ with 10 scrawled numbers on it, as he stands up, offering eddie a hand up himself.

Eddie doesn’t want to think about the strength steve has that this that easy to lug his 160 pounds of trailer trash ass up. Or how he feels about what looks like the singular inch steve has on him, even in his boots.

[aemondsbabe]

If you want to share, thoughts on tonight's episode? As usual, Aemond's scenes especially and how they affect who he is?

I really don't wanna see him as someone who only cares about himself or is apathetic :/ but idk... What do you think?

putting my answers under the cut bc they contain spoilers from the newest ep and will probably be long bc idk when to shut up (◡‿◡✿)

first small council scene:

i’m only going to be speaking about his interactions with alicent in that scene, particularly the bit at the very end where he and alicent are alone! idc about those other men, so sorry!!!!

anyway.

after they’re alone, he asks alicent of her place on the council. she reminds him. he says viserys is dead without fanfare or remorse, no pause, no thinking — dead. which makes sense.

however, there is quite a pregnant pause when he gets to aegon. if aemond truly wanted his brother dead, truly meant to hurt him, and didn’t care that he had succeeded, idk why he’d pause there or act as if he cared. maybe because alicent is there but even that i doubt a little — he doesn’t hold himself back from saying anything else in her presence and she (probably) thinks he hurt aegon on purpose already so it doesn’t make sense to me why he wouldn’t just say that, whether it’s true or not.

like the guy looks visibly uncomfortable talking about aegon’s condition. if he didn’t care for aegon, at least a little, and if he wanted him dead…. why would he care now that he’s hurt? why would that make him uncomfortable? he doesn’t even know at this point that aegon’s regained consciousness, that doesn’t come until later in the episode, so it isn’t a matter of “aegon’s awake and i’m scared of what he’ll say.”

later in this same conversation, alicent cups his cheek and the emotion on his face is a lil staggering dare i say. the man was near tears. in my mind, this is him very clearly mourning the relationship he once had with his mother. i think he feels compelled to punish her in a way because i think he sees her actions as of late as abandonment.

again, i go back to that conversation he had with criston in episode 1. he’s upset that alicent is giving rhaenyra any leeway. rhaenyra, the mother of the boys that took his eye. rhaenyra, the woman who wanted him tortured. rhaenyra, the woman who threatens his family. of course alicent giving her any grace would hurt him deeply, especially since she was the only one who stood up for him that night.

if anything, i think aemond’s main source of pain right now is alicent. i think much of his actions and inactions this entire season have hinged on alicent. which is quite tragic and lovely at the same time idk.

anyway.

the scene with aegon:

i’ve made this point before and i’m making it again because this scene further solidified it for me: i think the entire thing with aegon is brothers bickering.

again, those brothers are powerful people. a king and a prince — both with dragons — so it’s different than the sibling bickering we’re used to but i still think that’s what it is.

again, aemond couldn’t premeditate hurting aegon. he didn’t know he and sunfyre would be at rook’s rest. he didn’t even know meleys and rhaenys would be at rook’s rest. i think that little groan he did when he saw aegon fly in, and him calling him and idiot, was him essentially going “you fucking idiot i told you this was stupid and here you are being stupid.” i don’t think it was necessarily malicious — aemond quite clearly thinks highly of himself and his abilities and is pretty quick to look down on others he deems lesser in any way. i think that was aemond being aemond.

i’m not going to sit here and say that he was an angel to go to aegon and that the scene between them was so cute and soft because it wasn’t.

BUT.

i think it’s brothers bickering. it reminded me heavily of when you’re fighting with a sibling and you hit them too hard and now they’re crying and mom is literally walking over and we have to get the story straight because you are NOT getting me in trouble!!! it gave those vibes.

aside from that, i think much of aemond’s character revolves around how he looks to others and how he is perceived. if he came out and just said “what happened with aegon was an accident and i feel bad,” that’s him 1) admitting fault and admitting he made a mistake and 2) in his mind, that’s him being vulnerable and non threatening and therefore, we cannot do that.

if anything, i think he’s playing into the fact that i’m sure that more than a few people think he hurt aegon on purpose and using that to his advantage in order to seem more formidable and scary and vicious. that’s why i wish we got more scenes of him being genuinely vulnerable whether it’s more brothel scenes or more scenes of him just by himself — to give us a glimpse of actual not put upon aemond because i think that aemond is worlds different than how he presents himself in public.

again, i think he cares deeply about very many things and doesn’t have a healthy, effective way of showing that.

thank you anon for coming to my tedtalk i am sorry this is literally like a whole novel 😭😅🩷

[fuck-customers]

💋omfg PLEASE stop sending your dad or your boyfriend or whatever the fuck to buy your makeup. If he’s a straight man I can guaran-fucking-tee you this idiot will be pestering me over every goddamn cosmetic item on the shopping list you gave him and probably then some. Ladies if y’all need makeup just get it your damn self stop sending me your dumbass men who take up all my time bc they can’t be bothered to actually look around the makeup dept. I have shit to do and if you’re coming up to me more than three times to ask where something is, I’m getting pissed off.

Dude just now came up to me with a fucking slideshow of makeup products asking where they all are. I just looked at him like “seriously dude?” Like bro I’m not your personal fucking shopper. I’m not gonna sit there and hold your stupid fucking hand while we find these ten products. But even then, I pointed and told him exactly where each item was and he STILL couldn’t find shit. It was like that ep of SpongeBob and he’s like “the lid Patrick. The lid. The lid. The lid.” I told him one of the items was over in the corner and the dude doesn’t even go to the corner. He says “where???¿?¿” over and over again like,,, my brother in Christ,,,, do you not know what a fucking corner is? You are very clearly NOT in the corner right now like this should be a no brainer???

And the dude can see by now I’m getting annoyed by this shit and he snaps at me like “well clearly I’m not someone who uses makeup so I don’t know what I’m doing here” ok so why would you agree to go shopping for it.?Tell your lazy ass daughter/wife/gf she needs to come and get it her damn self. Save us both the fucking headache.

I also think some kind of weaponized incompetence is being employed here. Like it’s not fucking rocket science to look up at the giant, lit-up signs in each aisle that say where each brand of makeup is stocked, and then go from there to find your item. But I think these men are afraid of being perceived as “gay” or whatever tf if they’re seen shopping and taking their time in the makeup dept. so when they’re sent on these shopping trips they just skip any kind of attempt at looking for the shit themselves and instead make a bee line to me the second they walk in. And then they expect me to take their shopping list and do it all for them like no dude fuck off I have tasks to do, come back when you have a real question and not just “can you help me find these 10+ items bc I’m too lazy/too straight to do my own shopping in the makeup dept”

(Lastly I’d like to mention that some of these men even have the gall to come up to me, with their girlfriend/wife/daughter on FaceTime, asking me to color match them. Yes, you read that right. They want me to find the correct shade of foundation based on a blurry ass face on a screen. So as you can imagine, I just laugh in their fucking faces when they ask this, I just cannot believe how stupid ppl are omfg)

My first thought (being in retail 30 years) Is they don't really want the makeup but some creepy way to make conversation with the (sometimes underaged) sales people.

Or like you said they have such a fragile masculinity just being near it upsets them.

If you can get away with it, tell them you will have to charge them the "personal shopper" charge of $25 to walk them to more than three items.

-Rodney

[mychlapci]

[SETTING - Swerve's where two idiots very drunk and unsupervised]

PHARMA: I am definitely not still in love with Ratchet.

RODIMUS: Right! And I am TOTALLY and COMPLETELY over Drift no longer fucking me because he's with Ratchet. Like who cares if he has a smoking MILF right?

PHARMA: Exactly. Who cares if Ratchet has acquired a pretty desperate twink to fucknor be fucked by! I can find a twink!

RODIMUS: YEAH YOU CAN! AND I CAN FIND A MILF!

PHARMA: We can fuck other people!

RODIMUS: FUCK YEAH!

PHARMA: I could be a MILF! Look at how broad my chest is look at my hips! I am definitely a MILF!

RODIMUS: Definitely MILF worthy! And I am hot as hell look at my hips! Made to be grabbed! I AM DESIGNED TO BE FUCKED WHO WOULDN'T FUCK ME!

PHARMA: I'd fuck you. (Said very seriously while holding RODIMUS's shoulders and almost tipping out of the chair)

RODIMUS: Aww. I'd fuck you and call you Mommy if you wanted. WAIT! PERFECT IDEA!

PHARMA: huh? (Fistracted petting RODIMUS'S spoiler)

RODIMUS: LETS SHOW THEM HOW MUCH WE DON'T CAR EBY FUCKING EACH OTHER! WE'RE BOTH HOT AS HELL AND WE AREN'T GOING TO FIND ANYONE ELSE HOTTER THAN US!

PHARMA: That's perfect!

Proceed to start fucking on the regular while both definitely not wanting to crawl in the middle of the Dratchet sandwich and when confronted by protective amica or ex play it up accordingly. Pharma is down to piss Drift up as much as possible and talk about how sweet Rodimus is. Rodimus meanwhile can willingly talk about his sex life for hours to Ratchet who is grinding his teeth saying he's so happy for them.

Both snap of course.

Ratchet while he has Rodimus strung up in stirrups doing his monthly check up and getting all smooth and dirty talking about how Rodimus has to know about this or that sexual preference of Pharma's and describing the reactions to it in detail while running his hands over Rodimus's plating and finishing with fingers in his valve in the checkup getting him hot and heavy.

Drift meanwhile pinning and threatening Pharma in a hold that shoots him straight to scorousal. Just purring in his ears about how he can take him to pieces.

Pharma and Rodimus both limp to their shared room to bang out inappropriate boners with a newfound appreciation with Dratchet doing something similar.

Clearly it has to end in all of them fucking though, because now Rodimus and Pharma can not stop thinking about the others ex which they already heard about in explicit detail and Dratchet meanwhile had an adult conversation about wanting to fuck their own and their partners ex.

Pharma and Rodimus fucking each other bc they’re not over their exes, who are dating, is the funniest route you could have taken with this tbh. You know Pharma and Rodimus would never keep this secret, they would be physically incapable of not gloating about it. Everyone hears about the new odd couple, Rodimus and Pharma, and you’d have to be blind (or not have been at Swerve’s the night the two yelled how they’re going to fuck each other) to not know they’re trying to get Drift‘s and Ratchet’s attention. And they do. 

Rodimus showing up for his physical and very enthusiastically giving Ratchet a run-down of his sex life, until Ratchet snaps and suddenly the room gets hot. He examines Rodimus’ array, slowly joining the conversation, cutting into Rodimus’ long-winded speech with little oh’s, like oh, Pharma always liked to have his wings tugged on, until he’s the only one talking, rubbing the inside of Rodimus’ valve in a completely professional manner while talking about how to fuck Pharma properly. He doesn’t even let Rodimus overload, sending him on his way with his poor spike pressurizing against the inside of his panel and his valve leaking.

Pharma managing to find Drift around the ship just to tell him how lucky he is, to have had such a pretty thing like Rodimus bouncing on his spike for so long and then immediately managing to replace him with Ratchet. Until Drift decides a little sparring is in order, and he ends up tackling Pharma (in good faith, if anyone asks), playing the part of a protective amica and telling Pharma how he will shred him to pieces if he hurts Rodimus. His claws brush against Pharma’s neck tubing, his ventilations are hot against his body, and Drift is so threatening, it’s extremely fucking hot. 

Pharma and Rodimus fuck each other even more vigourously that night. Meanwhile Ratchet and Drift as talking about this weird thing that just happened today and how they think that Pharma and Rodimus are making a poor attempt at seducing them. Well… why not tease them about it for a while longer? Ratchet starts getting as close to Pharma as Pharma would like, Drift puts his whole spark into sparring with Rodimus, pressing up against him whenever he can… 

[moiraineswife]

Moiraine And Lan - The Inability To Communicate Trauma

Hello friends. It has been quite some time. Quite some time since I have: absolutely lost all my fucking shit over my blorbos at great length via a long and quotation filled tumblr meta. Fear not: the status quo of the universe returns, and I am once again: back on my bullshit (literally hours before the next episode airs and this gets drowned/replaced with New Content. Because I’m smart like that). ANYWAY.

Today we’re going to discuss: Mo and Lan and the singular moron-flavoured braincell they share, bond or no bond. More seriously, however: I’ve noticed a few bits of commentary/takes/analysis of the current state of their…well state, let’s be frank here, and realised that my contrary ass has: Different Opinions. So I figured I’d share them. Bc that’s what I do.

(Obligatory disclaimer that there is no right or wrong way to interpret something - that’s why it’s an interpretation, and this is not a call out or a “oh wow you’re wrong and here’s why!!!!” post directed at anyone or anything. Just my observation that I am going against the grain of what I’ve seen and thus throwing out: a new chew toy for us to gnaw on).

Also: please do note that this post will cover, rather extensively/in-depth, the trauma arc that Lan and Moiraine are going through at the moment and will contain trigger warnings for: depression, PTSD, trauma response, rape (in the context of the analogy that Verin presented), suicide, suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt (again: all in the context of the show/previous events), and everything related to the topics that have been raised in the first two episodes for these characters. Be safe and tap out if you need to!

So. Obligatory wiffle aside: what shall we discuss? In a nutshell (bc I’m real good at that) I’m covering how, as I see it/am fascinated by it: the responses that they’re having to each other at the moment are mirrors/insights into the responses that they’re each having to the recent traumas that they’ve both suffered. In more depth/the points where I think I differ from the norm we’re going to cover: 

1)-why Lan is: not an idiot, actually. I see it as him being still perfectly capable of READING/understanding Moiraine without the bond; what he’s having difficulty with is COMMUNICATING with her without the bond

2)- that Moiraine is actually: ALSO failing dismally at communicating with Lan, and that she’s doing: a real fucking bad job of manipulating him. (is she HURTING him? Yes. 100%. Is she MANIPULATING him into doing what she wants? Given that she clearly wants nothing more than for him to: leave her, and that after 5 solid months he has: not left, I’m just going to put out the idea that maybe she’s not quite meeting her all of her targets in this area.

3)- wow they’re both doing incredibly stupid things, and they’re doing them for the same incredibly stupid reasons, and they are, in fact: INCREDIBLY THE SAME. See: singular moron-flavoured brain cell. This manifests slightly differently, due to their own individual traumas influencing the specifics of their actions/thought processes - but the general underlying thesis is the same for both.

The TL;DR here is that: these weirdos still know each other, and love each other, and understand each other without their bond. Can they communicate any of what they want to communicate in any kind of effective way? No. No they cannot. They BOTH suck. (I say that with legitimately all the love in the world).

So. Let’s start with Lan. Purely because I think my takes on him are the most Spicy/differ the most from everyone else’s and, let’s be honest, everything here feeds into everything else and this is going to get complicated where I start SO. Drama first. (I think it’s what they would want).

Okay so first and foremost I want to try and establish/explain what I mentioned at the outset of this thing which is: Lan is not blind, he’s not stupid, and he is not suddenly completely and utterly incapable of understanding a single feel that Moiraine feels if he can’t feel it with her via bond.

The largest and most obvious piece of evidence for this feels like the best one to start with and, for me, this is the fact that: HE DIRECTLY AND COMPLETELY CALLS HER OUT ON HER BULLSHIT, TO HER FACE, TWICE!!! 

“Don’t smile at me. You can shut me out, try to drive me away, but don’t you dare smile at me. As though everything is fine. As though you don’t know exactly what you’re doing.”

This is from episode 1, where he finally snaps at her after she gives him that fake ass little smile and is like ‘is an aes sedai not allowed her secrets’ when he tries to talk to her/get her to explain: literally anything to him. And THAT is what pushes him over the edge. 

She has been cold. She has been dismissive. She has flat out ignored him like he’s not even present. He has taken it all. Not happily, and with obvious frustration, but he hasn’t said a peep. Not when she gives him one brusque, dismissive one-word orders (“door”) like a dog. Or when she deliberately turns away from him and refuses to so much as look at them - he endures all of that and just takes it and let’s her do it. Because he understands that this is her current expression of: not being fine. 

If she WAS fine, she would not be doing these things, and he knows that, and I think sees it as something like a storm to weather? It is something that will pass (he hopes) if he has the patience and the strength to wait it out. When she smiles at him? When she tries to make a JOKE out of what she’s doing? Out of the secrets that she’s been keeping from him - secrets like the fact that she was planning on going to the Eye of the World to die without him - THAT is not acceptable. She’s smiling at him and trying to joke with him as though they’re still capable of that - as though they can still tease each other the way they did, as though things are fine, both in herself, and between them, and they are NOT. When she’s treating him like a slave, or a stranger, or an annoyance - that is strangely better - because it’s this unspoken acknowledgement/agreement (the only one they’ve been able to achieve) that this is because things are not fine. She treats him badly because she’s not fine, he KNOWS she’s treating him badly because she’s not fine - is a strange kind of shared truth. Like sarcasm - something said/done where both parties know that the meaning/intent is completely different. Smiling, joking, pretending she’s fine? That is an insult, because he knows damn well she is NOT in that place.

Okay, so let’s look at the second instance of this, which occurs in episode 2 (oh how quaint) and is as follows: 

L: “Then tell me! You and I have walked this path together. Every step, every choice, every sacrifice.”

M: “We have never walked this path together. You have never seen the forest for the trees because I have never shown it to you.”

L: “I know what you’re trying to do. You can’t push me away.”

Again, as with the previous scene, he tries to get her to talk to him, to stop keeping secrets from him, to share this with her and let him help her carry her burdens the way they always have. She puts him walls, she, again, tries to force distance - she tells him that they have never been together as he says. And he calls her out. AGAIN. He knows what she’s trying to do. It hasn’t changed. She’s still just doing the same thing she’s been doing from the start of episode 1 - trying to force him away, because she’s desperate, and she’s suffering, and she doesn’t have anything else but this - even if he knows what she’s doing, even if it hasn’t worked so far. 

Both of them are guilty of this - both of them get one idea stuck in their minds of how to handle this situation/how to fix everything, and they both refuse to change. They both dig their heels in, plant their stakes, pick their hills to die on, and are refuse to budge for love, money, or common sense. For Lan it’s in trying to get her to talk, to open up, to push back on the destructive coping mechanisms she’s got - trying to force her to include him, tying to force her to include herself and come to dinner with them etc. For Mo it’s this: it’s pushing him away, because she is no longer worthy of him (and believes she never was) and protecting him.

(to continue this: unhinged adventure, pls continue under the cut!)

So she commits to this, even if she honestly knows it probably won’t work now, either. (she empties her entire quiver on him in this scene, and the atomic bomb she had in her back pocket too for good measure. These things she’s been holding back in reserve, the last cards to play - that she misled him about Rand’s death, that she has discovered they (and notice that she still says “we” when she talks about this - even though she went to the Eye alone, even though she made that choice alone, even though she rejects the idea that they have been together on this quest, as he says - when she is not actively choosing every word to hurt him, she thinks of them and what they’ve done as an unconscious “we” and a unit) have freed Ishamael/possibly other Forsaken - one after the other, meant to just overwhelm him and be the final coup de grace. And it STILL doesn’t work. She unleashes everything she has on him and he STILL insists that he’s not leaving her. And it’s because he knows - as he just said - what she’s doing, and why. And he will not let her. And he says that to her “I’m not letting you walk away from me again” - because the last time he did: she went to the Eye to get herself killed. And it’s only by some miracle and twist of cruelty that she was left alive to suffer instead.

Also I’m going to take a brief sidebar here, before we move on to Further Evidence/thoughts on this. But I think that it’s really important to consider LAN’S trauma in what he’s doing and why? Like, I think people are doing this for Mo already? They recognise that she wouldn’t be behaving this way if she 1)- wasn’t trying to protect Lan (her intention) and 2)- wasn’t suffering the effects of her trauma/being cut off from the Power at the Eye. Lan is a little less obvious (both in that his trauma is not a single fixed point/event that’s very obvious and easy to refer back to; and that he’s a bit less blunt Lan Mo’s “brick to the face” techniques and motivations) but, as I said at the start: his reactions to Mo are a direct reflection/window into his own trauma responses.

So, as I just mentioned - Lan is SO adamant about not leaving Moiraine, not giving her the opportunity to distance them/push him away - because the last time she did that, in just nudging him, like, an inch to the left, she used that to mask their bond and skip off into the Blight to go get herself killed with Rand. And there is: no doubt, and no question, and no room for wiggling or negotiation on this. They BOTH were FULLY aware that that was a suicide mission. The first thing he says to her when he finds her is “you’re alive” - because he was sure that history was repeating on him.

Because I think that it’s very important to not just consider Mo’s actions here, I think it’s important to remember Lan’s experience with Stepin as well. The two played out very similarly for him/parallel each other almost exactly. They both talked to him about Nynaeve, encouraging him to seek a love and a life with her. They both manipulated him/the circumstances to make it impossible for him to try and protect them - Stepin by drugging him, and Moiraine by masking the bond so he was unable to sense her, so that they could leave him. They both had clear plans and intentions - and both of their ultimate goals was for it to end in their death (obviously the REASONS behind this are very different - Mo was trying to save the world; while Stepin’s had already ended). But in both cases, Lan wakes up alone, realising that they’ve left him, realising, instantly, what they intend to do and in both cases: he was too late and he feels that he failed. Stepin he finds dead - and the only reason that he DOESN’T find that has happened to Mo is not because of something he did, it’s not because he got to her in time, it’s not because he protected her, it’s not because HE did anything at all - it’s just because some whim of cruelty decided to spare her. And these two events happen within, like, a week of each other I want to say? Like that’s…That’s an incredibly damaging and traumatising thing to go through ONCE - but back to back? How guilty must he have felt? How ANGRY with himself? Because how could he not have learned? How could he have let this happen AGAIN?

Of course he’s terrified now. Of course he’s terrified that if he leaves she’s going to die. Of course he refuses - past the point of any sense or reason - to just back down and leave. He is certain that if he does it will mean the death of the person that he loves the most in this world. And it will be HIS fault. She’s being cruel to him, she’s pushing him away, she’s ignoring him, she’s ordering him around, she’s deliberately pushing every button he’s got, and stabbing her knife in every sensitive spot she’s discovered over the last twenty years. And what kind of weak, selfish, useless person would he be to let that be all it takes for him to just say ‘well fine, I’ll just abandon you and let you kill yourself without me’. He cannot fail again. He WILL NOT fail again. He has been here, history is repeating on him again and he will not let it. Whatever she says to him. However she hurts him. Whatever he has to endure to weather this storm with her he will. Because none of this pain even comes CLOSE to what it will be like if he leaves her and she hurts herself and that is entirely his fault.

(Note: I do not actually think that Moiraine is actively suicidal at this point. As Verin notes - she chooses to fight every day. She wakes up, she fills her buckets, she puts one foot in front of the other and she clearly keeps going. It’s wobbly, and it’s messy, and she’s clearly grieving and depressed and traumatised - but she is not suicidal. Does LAN know that? Can Lan, without the bond, and with Stepin, and the Eye, haunting him even begin to scrape together the required rationality to see that? No. Lan sees Moiraine as being in just as much danger as she sees him being in and all he can do, all he has left to do in this world is protect her. And so he will).

To conclude the wrap of: the most painful breakup scene in the history of the world (for me and my present blorbos at this present moment in time, anyway) I want to just talk about the infamous “we were never equals”. And a lot of it has been covered, and I agree with the takes that Moiraine does not believe herself equal to Lan (and never did (SELF ESTEEM ISSUES!? IN MY CODEPENDENT PLATONIC SOULMATE RELATIONSHIP!? NOOOOO!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)) and that is how she’s able to say this oath wise. I just want to touch on the fact that some people seem to be like ‘bro how can u not see what she’s saying DIRECTLY TO UR FACE, BRO!? COME ON LAN. LISTEN!!!!’ and like. So, to bring up a controversial and possible shocking observation: Lan is, in fact: still a human being! Emotions are messy, and logic is a fine and wonderful thing from a couch, yelling at your tv screen, and with the delightful ability to rewind and replay conversations/moments in time to be able to link them together nicely.

But Moiraine has been cruel to him for months at this point in an effort to drive him away. And, as discussed - he knows what she’s doing. He knows WHY she’s doing it. He is enduring it and putting up with it and stomaching it without throwing things at her because he knows it’s an expression of pain and is a reaction to what she’s been through. But he’s also hurt by it. Not least because: even if she’s only SAYING these things to hurt him/drive him away - she still believes them enough that they’re true for her to be able to actually get them out of her mouth. That HURTS. That’s going to break you down, that’s going to GET to you, that’s going to be thing that keeps him up at night and just echoes in his head over and over again and like - my man’s self-esteem and self-worth wasn’t actually sitting up at the peak of Dragonmount BEFORE 5 months of this, like dear Light people.

To have the person you love the most in this world tell you that “I don’t want my saddle to slip” (I don’t trust you to do this for me), to have her admit that she deliberately misled him, that she has actively kept important, possibly world-changing events from you, that she says, to your face - the thing that you are MOST afraid of, the thing that tormented him via Machin Shin, the thing that torments him still about Stepin - that he FAILED her? For her to believe that so firmly that it’s truth to her? Of course he doesn’t think he’s worthy of her? Of course he’s willing to take what she says at face value. SHE CAN’T FUCKING LIE!!!! And the set-up to this is so important, because she goes right for the jugular in this scene, and she does so repeatedly, in quick succession.

So she hits him with: ‘actually I lied when I said before that WE were going to the Tower - I’m going on my own without you. We yote a forsaken out into the world OOPS. -I refuse to explain anything to you. -We have never been walking this path together. -I have never showed you everything, I have always hidden things from you. -OH also ur lil sheepherder dude is actually: not dead and never was, I #lied to ur face abt that. -I am loyal to the Dragon - and ONLY him. -You can’t protect me anymore without the bond. -No, you’re not my Warder, you failed me, and I would be dead in spite of you if not for the help of people more competent than you. -ALSO here’s our good buddy Alanna and I am going to THREATEN TO HAVE HER TAKE YOUR BOND BY FORCE IF YOU KEEP REFUSING ME and I arranged this ahead of time to make this right. ALL of this gets dumped on his head in the space of LITERALLY AROUND TWO MINUTES. Like damn Mo the bloody Fades were less efficient than that.

He has just had all of that thrown in his face - the things she’s been holding back, keeping in case she needed them - her lying to him, her isolating him, her NEVER walking this path with him or ever showing him all that she saw, telling him that he is not her Warder anymore, that he has FAILED to protect her, that she will have him bonded against his will just to get rid of him. And he stands there on the ground, while she gazes down at him from on top of her horse (which she mounted - for the first time we’ve seen on screen - without his aid (which is a GUTTING little touch, because we see him smoothly and seamlessly help her mount a couple of times in season 1)) and she just says, to his face, the TRUTH, as he asked for: they were never equals.

And she can say that because she believes that he is better than her, and we know that, but can you blame him for not quite catching that in the moment????? She’s just told him that he’s a failure, that she’d be dead and he didn’t do a damn thing to protect her, that she will have someone bond him forcibly - and in this moment she just says what he’s been thinking for months, for YEARS honestly, given what machin shin torments him with “you can’t protect her. You’ll watch her die.” Of course he believes it. He is ALREADY taking an irrational level of responsibility over all of this, over what he perceives as his failures.

Adeleas calls him out for this and tells him he’s taking it too personally (and he IS) - he is assuming responsibility for not preventing something as though that means that he caused it. And again: this is a trauma response. This is an overreaction to a perceived series of circumstances that led to the death of a friend he’s had for possibly decades, to the one person he is supposed to protect, who he let go on a suicide mission alone so that he could get fucking laid, who he let slip away from him AGAIN to get attacked by Fades - where he failed her FOR A THIRD TIME. But like…He starts this little conversation off with her by apologising because he didn’t sense the Fades. He has: absolutely no way, reasonable or other ways, to sense INVISIBLE CREATURES THAT MOVE THROUGH SHADOW without the bond giving him the ability to do so. It’s a ridiculous thing to say. It has no logic to it at all and that’s the POINT. He is not capable of logic about this situation. He is blaming himself for everything - every single thing he can think of, whether it’s reasonable or not, is his fault, and his responsibility - he should have sensed the fades, he should have sensed her leaving, he should have stopped her going to the Eye, he should have stopped her from being cut off. He is trying to assert control, he is trying to assign blame and reason to the things that have happened to him - to the losses he has suffered - so that he can stop suffering them. And he can’t. He can’t. It happens over. And over. And over. AND OVER again. The trolloc blade that hit Moiraine in the Two Rivers and nearly killing her. Logain’s shield exploding and the axe handle piercing her side and nearly killing her. Being drugged by Stepin who killed himself while Lan was absent. Letting himself be distracted by Nynaeve while Mo went to the Eye. Missing Mo leaving AGAIN and her being attacked by the Fades. Actually getting there while the attack was in progress finally at LAST being able to DO something, to STOP something - and he can’t even fucking manage that. Over and over and over he fails people and he loses them and it’s his fault and he can’t stop it. He’s been retraumatised by circumstance, and is now retraumatising HIMSELF by adding even more perceived failings to the existing tally. Of course he believes her. He’s just been waiting for her to say that to him from the day they bonded. NO ONE IN THIS DYNAMIC HAS ANY SELF-ESTEEM. LIKE THEY STARTED WITH ZERO TOTAL AND SOMEHOW IT’S GOTTEN WORSE.

Okay so shifting focus slightly for the last thing I want to say about Lan, but still related, because: the problem (for me) is not that they cannot read/understand each other, it’s that they cannot COMMUNICATE with each other. And there is a distinction here. Lan’s issue is not lack of understanding where Mo is at - he sees her suffering, knows she’s not fine, understands she is reacting to the loss she endured at the Eye, he gets that. He’s known her for twenty years - bond or no bond - he knows what pain looks like when he sees it in her eyes. That’s not it. What he’s struggling with, and what he’s frustrated by is that they are not TALKING. He knows how she’s feeling - he doesn’t know what to do about that. He doesn’t know how to TALK about that with her. He doesn’t know how to fix it because she refuses to engage with it at all - and they’re SO bad at this that they don’t even get to the part where she can ignore him trying to talk abt the actual problem, bc she just nips it in the bud and ignores him/deflects him from the opening bland ‘small-talk’ set-up questions to start making forrays into that. 

Because before all of that would have happened instinctively via the bond - she feels the bad feels, he knows why, he sends the required good feels back/makes her tea/gives her an extra blanket/just responds without having to think about and, and this is the key point: without having to talk. Because, let’s be real here: these idiots BOTH suck at talking about their emotions/needs. Genuinely think they would both just lie on the ground and fucking die rather than say ‘I need a bandage because I’m BLEEDING PROFUSELY FROM EVERY ORIFICE.’ Because they’re deeply repressed, traumatised people who were never given the tools/language/space they needed to be able to safely and healthily learn to express their feels (but that…is a different piece of meta for another day). 

THE POINT IS: we’re now going to turn to my beloved, my man, my favourite, the myth, the legend, the ICON: Tomas and his tomatoes. And by this I do of course mean that we’re doing a deep dive of the scene where Tomas gives Lan some advice after they go out to the (absolutely THRIVING - good job my man) garden to pick some tomatoes for dinner (or at least….Tomas goes out to pick tomatoes for dinner; and Lan goes out to brood in his proximity while he does so. ) But eh. Tomayto, tomahto….) ANYWAY: 

So this scene gives Lan a chance to talk about losing the bond - and I think that is important as well? Likely obviously Moiraine is Going Through It here, and Lan hasn’t been cut off from the Power/isn’t dealing with that experience but WE DON’T PLAY TRAUMA OLYMPICS IN THIS HOUSE!!! PAIN IS PAIN AND IT SHOULD ALL BE VALIDATED AND DEALT WITH IN A CONSTRUCTIVE AND POSITIVE WAY. Ahem. Anyway. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: QUOTE TIME AGAIN;

“The bond made things easier. It was like a friend walking along with us chatting away so we never had to.”

I think this is a really interesting (and honestly fascinating) way to describe the bond - to personify it and see it as another individual existing between them and making things easier by doing the things that they both struggle to do - use their goddamn words. 

“She’s tired, she’s hungry, she’s angry, she’s afraid. Now silence.”

This part, too, I think is really telling. Because if I had to put money on it and pick out the Top 4 Feelings Moiraine Is Having I think I could do a lot worse than ‘tired, hungry, angry, and afraid’. He KNOWS how she’s feeling. He can read that in her still. He doesn’t need the bond to tell him that. That’s not what he’s missing. He doesn’t need the bond to point out what she’s feeling to him, and he doesn’t miss that aspect, he misses the ‘chatting away’, he misses the noise, he misses the COMMUNICATION, and he is struggling with the silence.

THAT is what the bond used to do for them - it used to ‘chat away so they never had to’. A friend, a helper, who facilitated between them and allowed them to communicate when they couldn’t speak/didn’t have the words. We see this over and over and OVER again in season 1. They have whole ass conversations without making a single peep. Most notably in extremely tense or emotional moments - Kerene’s funeral and the look they share, Lan struggling with Stepin’s grief, coming to Moiraine, kneeling beside her, holding her hand - so much happens in that scene in particular. Without saying a word he communicates an exhaustion, a fatigue, a grief and a sorrow - a need for comfort and support - and she gives it. At Stepin’s funeral - the lookk that he gives her, the way he seeks her in the crowd, again needing her strength, which she gives to him through their bond and across a room. THAT’S what’s gone. That’s what he keeps trying to get back. 

Because he gives her that same look - that same obvious cry for help and look of desperation at the end of ep 1 with the Fade battle. He is WRECKED he is DONE, he’s disarmed, he cannot stand, he can barely crawl - he NEEDS her, he needs her strength, he needs her help. She tries to channel - she reaches for the power, as she would once have reached for him through their bond - and it does not come. It is not there. It cannot help them. And the words that he speaks to her then echo a repeated sentiment he’s had for her throughout: “what aren’t you telling me?”

The bond isn’t there to talk for her anymore. And she refuses. Consistently. Verin and Adeleas comment on Bayle visiting - and Lan notes that she doesn’t tell him any more than she tells them. After Bayle is gone, Lan tries to small talk, he slaps on a casual little smile and he asks a mundane ‘let’s start the ball rolling on that conversation thing’ question, easy to answer, nothing tense, nothing painful, a very common “how did it go?” she ignores him. He presses further - asks who that person was? She gives him the bare minimum (and doesn’t answer the question he’s ACTUALLY asking) and then he tries to push again - what did she want. At which point she hits him with that fake smile and the ‘can an aes sedai not have her secrets?’ - and he’s not even really asking for much. He’s not asking what he actually wants to ask which is: how are you? Are you okay? What can I do? What do you need? What are you thinking? And this idea repeats - in ep 2, when he tries to point out it takes 8 aes sedai to cut someone off, she snaps that he has no conception of the power the forsaken have - so he snaps at her to tell him then. And she refuses. 

They are both FEELING - and their feelings are seen. Lan sees how Mo struggles he sees how she shuts herself away, he sees that she’s not eating, and not sleeping, that she’s frustrated, and she’s frightened. Mo sees that she’s hurting him, she sees that he’s frustrated as well. They know this. But they’re not TALKING. They’re not COMMUNICATING. And at the dinner sequence - this is what Verin, Adeleas and Tomas try to give them advice about - their history is the “common language” that they are; maybe he needs to listen to what she IS saying and not try and demand her to say other things. They don’t know how to talk about things like this - they’re not good at that ANYWAY - but with each other? When they’ve never had to before? When for once, for the first time for both of them, it was effortless to share these things and communicate these deep insecurities and emotions that they struggle to give to others? THAT’S what they’re lacking and that’s what the biggest problem is.

Alright let’s leave poor Lan be for now, I have tormented him enough. On to Momo. This will (hopefully, dear god) be shorter, because people have covered Mo before. We know that she’s traumatised, we know she’s trying to push Lan away to protect him, we know she’s trying to regain control, she feels powerless, she feels helpless, she is trying to deal with something life-altering, something that made her vulnerable and helpless, she’s being reckless with her safety, she’s taking foolish risks etc etc.

The point I want to touch on here is the idea around her ‘manipulating’ Lan, because I usually see this go hand-in-hand with the Lan stuff I talked about already. Largely: how ironic that without the bond Lan doesn’t understand her/cannot read her, but Moiraine is doing it so well with him and i must: respectfully decline to go along with that perspective. And this is (I imagine u know what im going to say now) *inhales deeply* because they SUCK AT COMMUNICATING!!!! 

It doesn’t really MATTER that he is trying to open her up/communicate that he loves her, and he’s there for her, and he wants to support her; while she is trying to communicate the same - she loves him, she cares about him, she wants to protect him. They are both: failing dismally. Lan’s incessant pestering of Mo to talk to him is just making her clam up more and more because she can’t and what’s more: she doesn’t bloody want to. She wants to shove her trauma under a rug in the corner of Verin’s study, and then she wants to drag a bookshelf over the top of it, and then she wants to fill the bookcase with books, and then she wants to put a whole bunch of extra things on top of the bookcase, and then she wants to flee the country and forget that any of that ever exists because she does not want to deal with it. And Lan keeps pushing. He keeps trying to make her talk, because he’s desperate, and he misses the chattering of their friend the bond, and he wants to help, her wants her to let him back in, and it’s just pissing her off. Which is what the cottage squad calls him out for (when will Mo get her ‘come to jesus’ talk?? For Fairness? Like i need this too).

So Lan is coming at this: far too softly, and far too indirectly in a lot of ways. He never asks about what he actually wants to ask about. He talks about the weather, or how shiny Aldieb’s coat is this morning, or how nice and red and juicy Tomas’s tomatoes are. He never actually just says what he wants to say which is: “I love you, and I’m worried about you, and I’m failing you more and more every day and I’m sorry and I need you” he pussyfoots around it and avoids it and lets her shut him down because that hurts and, well, he deserves that hurt so alright then.

And then there’s Mo. Who has managed to somehow twist the logic of the universe so that she can say “I love you” by, uh *checks notes*: Not saying anything at all/ignoring him. Or by saying things like “you failed me” instead. Because she is just THAT powerful. Okay I’m being a bit sarcastic here, clearly, but she has convinced herself (based on how her trauma is affecting her) that she: 1)- does not deserve Lan/is not worthy of him and so he should leave her so he can be happy and 2)- she needs to protect him and so he should leave her and go and be safe.

Maybe she tried to articulate this at some point? Sit him and down and be like ‘okay Allan so I know u have a lot of trauma abt, like, being abandoned/being left behind so ppl u love can go do themselves great harm but…it would REALLY be just swell for me if u left me all by myself while i go through possibly the worst things that’s ever happened to me: alone. Okay? Okay.” However I doubt this. Bc, as previously and repeatedly discussed: these two can’t communicate for SHIT right now.

I think she probably made some sort of roundabout suggestion? Like she didn’t directly say ‘you need to leave me because reasons’ but she probably…asked him to go the White Tower and watch over Nyn and Eggy, or maybe go with Perrin and the Shienarans to help, or even ‘hey remember Mat? The little scrungly one?? I wonder where he is’ and he just told her ‘absolutely fucking not’ (or words to that effect) so she had to try something else instead. Which is: being mean af.

So far so good and I think we’re all (relatively) in agreement to this point. But then people think…She’s being successful here? And she’s reading him well - largely because she knows EXACTLY what to say to hurt him? And yes, she absolutely does, I will 100% give you that. Blade directly to the heart each and every time, she never misses. HOWEVER. This is not the actual point. Causing Lan pain is not her endgame - it’s actually just the painful middle step that’s hurting her too to try and get her to her endgame.

Manipulation essentially involves doing ‘y’ (in this case being deliberately cruel/causing Lan pain) to make the person do ‘x’ (in this case: push Lan away and make him leave her), in theory/if it’s super successful: without the person realising that you’ve orchestrated this/making it seem like it was all their idea/decision. This is, uh, not working too great. It’s been 5 months and Lan is probably less likely to leave her now than he was when she started (because he now has 5 months worth of knowing that she is actively trying to get him to leave so she can do the Light only knows what and if that’s what she wants him to do while she’s in this state then it’s absolutely the last thing that he feels he should do - so in that sense this has actually backfired kinda spectacularly on Mo. Because: SHE’S COMMUNICATING JUST AS BADLY AS HE IS!!!!!!!!!! Just. On the COMPLETE opposite end of the spectrum to him. Because they’re drama and aesthetic that way.

And the added bonus content of this is: she CAN do this. She can (and does) manipulate people spectacularly well. Take Bayle for example (god she needed that little win SO badly, bless her and her buckets). She wanted: to see/examine the broken heartstone - but what is she actually going to DO with it? She doesn’t want to put it in a fancy display case or collect it, she wants to know WHY it broke. So what she ACTUALLY wants from him is information. Information such as: the poem. So she haggles with him on the thing she actually wants - makes him feel like he’s getting a win when he agrees to budge on that, far cheaper, item - but then he counters and says that he won’t move on the heartstone chunk itself - which she has no interest in. So she gets her essential infodump poem for a bargain price, and takes Bayle down like six pegs in the process. 10/10, excellently managed misdirection, making him do all the work and lowering the price of the poem so she didn’t even have to ask for it, and making himself look like a plonker into the bargain. Delicious. She CAN manipulate people - she just cannot manipulate Lan (not in this instance/about this anyway) because she’s as wrongfooted as he is, and is scrambling as much as he is without the bond, to try and find a language she never thought she’d need to try and speak with him.

And so if we now consider BOTH of them: they’re in this very weird space here, where the traumas that they have suffered, and the reactions they’re having are placing them in this fundamental position of opposition. Because their needs/the things they believe/have convinced themselves they have to do put them in direct conflict with one another. They’re like an immovable object meets an unstoppable force, right? And this idea reveals itself in several smaller ways - eg: Lan thinking that Mo needs company and to not isolate herself to get better; while for Mo that just feels completely intolerable and she wants to be alone and in Her Space, her study, where she is in control and can pretend to her visitors/informants that all is well and nothing has changed. But I think the biggest point it revolves around/where it’s most obvious is that, ultimately, their absolute overall goal is to protect the other person?

The difference/tragedy of this is that: Moiraine believes fundamentally that Lan is in danger WITH her, and that she has to make him leave in order to protect him. Lan believes fundamentally that Moiraine will be in danger WITHOUT him and that he has to stay in order to protect her. And this is the hill they’ve both chosen as their last stand/thing to die for. So she is going to push him and push him and push him, and she is going to hurt HERSELF by being crueller and crueller and crueller to him to protect him. And all the while he is going to endure and endure and endure and let himself be hurt to protect her.

AND THEN IT GETS WORSE (or better if ur twisted and u enjoy these kinds of parallels the way i do) because: they are both stubbornly trying to protect the other; but they’re also both feeling like they’re martyring themselves/are hurting themselves more and more to do so. She feels like he is being stubborn and forcing her to hurt him more and more every day - which she does not want to do - when he could just go, just let this end, just leave her the way she clearly wants him to! But this will make her stronger. She will be stronger for this, for having let him go, and for knowing that at least she managed to protect him. So she will just keep going - tomorrow, that will do it, he has to break tomorrow, he has to finally break tomorrow. And this goes on. The next day. Maybe the next day. The next–

And then HE feels like he is enduring, and that the pain she is inflicting on him is his cross to bear, and he has to endure it because he will NOT leave her, no matter what she throws at him. And it’s almost a test of his will and his love and his devotion (even though I think he knows it’s not: but it’s kind of become his own little personal quest. Because yes. Yes he SHOULD suffer this way. She SHOULD hurt him like this. He deserves it after how he failed her. He has to take this pain. He has to prove what he’s willing to go through for her, prove how dedicated he is, how much he will suffer for her, how even she cannot break him). And he too is thinking that next day it will get better. If he can just endure, just survive this onslaught, it will end. It will get better. She will get better. This will pass. He just has to prove his strength and last as long as he needs to in order to see that through.

And, to bring us back to the start of this extremely long and rambling essay I present you my final, deeply insightful, deeply professional, deeply ~meta~ thought which is that: they are BOTH. SO. FUCKING. S T U P I D!!!! (in a genuinely really interesting and complex and  fascinating way, as i have hopefully discussed/explained - the idea that their lost bond/connection makes them mirror/echo each other but now in a destructive way? That instead of seamlessly and instinctively meeting each others’ needs they are both unconsciously and unintentionally triggering the other person’s trauma and making things WORSE? What an absolutely fascinating take/an incredibly subtle but profound way to show the depth of exactly what they’ve lost/how much it has affected them while ALSO rooting the entire thing in their individual traumas, experiences, and characters - like who ever wrote/conceived of this NEEDS A GODDAMN RAISE I SWEAR) But also yes they are: morons. Absolutely. Without a doubt. One singular moron brain cell that ping pongs between the two of them but is, fundamentally: the same. Absolutely fucking delighted. Can’t wait to see where this goes from here. Join me again in the future for me: ‘wow Rowyn that’s a whole lotta thoughts u got there buddy’.

Also I swear I’m friendly and I like engaging/talking with ppl! Pls feel free to comment/reblog/message!!! And do note that if u reblog i WILL read and appreciate ur tags bc im: one of those Old People. 

OKAY BYEEEEEE!!!

[the-bi-space-ace]

Alright strap in I’ve got Crosshair headcanons and thoughts and you are being subjected to them hi hello enjoy:

Really craves friendship. Wants friends more than anything but for the life of him has never been good at making them. Mostly bc his defense mechanism is to be mean to keep strangers at arms length. Choose to have them dislike you before they even get a chance to make that decision themselves. It’s hard to penetrate those defenses.

AND YET this man contradicts every word he says. He hates regular clones huh? Then explain Cody and Echo and Mayday to me Crossy. Explain them to me bro. You even like Rex when it’s all said and done and that man PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. Explain yourself Crosshair.

Is pretty quiet for the most part but when he gets chatty it’s a mile a minute. He’ll sit next to his brothers or follow them around and just talk talk talk talk talk. Only happens once in awhile but when it does happen they all just stay quiet and listen to him. First time he did that to Echo it was completely out of the blue and he came up behind Echo and just started ranting. Echo stared at him with wide eyes for like ten minutes like ‘is this real? Is he okay?’ Before just sitting down and getting stuck in an hour long chat where he did like zero talking.

Gossipy bastard. Loves to gossip. Loves hearing it. Loves telling it. He’s so quiet most people forget he’s there and they say wild shit in front of him. He tells the 99 everything.

If one of his brothers asks who his favorite is he changes his answer depending on who has annoyed him most that day. ‘Oh you want to know who my favorite is? Wrecker, clearly. Hunter is my least favorite bc he took too long in the shower and used up all the hot water.’

Massive sweet tooth. Keep this man away from a candy store he’ll give himself cavities.

If they’re training playing with fake blasters he makes a ‘pew pew’ sound when he ‘shoots’ it. Super quiet and under his breath but he does it.

He has a game where he tries to see how many tiny rolled up pieces of paper he can get into Hunter’s hair or armor before Hunter catches on. Oh the amount of times he’s been yanked from his bunk after being caught is innumerable.

Loves listening to Tech infodumping but will never admit it out loud. He has learned so much and has found a lot of it fascinating but prefers to sit quietly and keep his eyes closed while Tech talks.

Him and Wrecker have so many more competitions than just the one. They compete all the time. Who can run the fastest. Who can name the most planets. Anything. As long as it’s a competition.

Pretends to be asleep so people don’t ask him to do things and then promptly actually falls asleep.

Cries. Like a lot. Well. Not a lot just a lot more than you’d think. While most people would think he’s too aloof for that I think he picked up a good habit of letting out big bursts of emotion because he always saw Wrecker do it. And he trusts Wrecker. Doesn’t like crying in front of other people but will hide to get some emotion out before rejoining the group.

Secret softy. But in the way where he’ll make fun of his brothers while doing something nice for them. He’s picking up their fave candy from a shop? He’ll throw it at their face when he gives it to them. They’re upset? He’s going to find a way to make sure they get a good meal and have some company but he’s going to be aggressive about it. ‘You haven’t eaten since yesterday. You’re being an idiot. Eat the fucking burrito I went to three different places to find one that would give me the salsa you like now don’t waste my time.’

His toxic trait is acting like he hates when one of them is hugging him as they are hugging him. ‘Ugh get off of me. You’re the worst.’ As he’s tightly hugging them back. Crosshair, honey, why are you like this?

[sunlightandsuffering]

Y’all know who’d go crazy with Eren and Mikasa not wearing condoms on that series of baby roulette drabbles? Not Armin, Armin’s reaction was mild compared to Floch’s. Floch is anti-Mikasa and when he finds out they’re not wearing any condoms he’s shocked out of his mind and about to throw up. Do you think Mikasa tells Floch they don’t use condoms just to be a brat and establish her dominance or does Floch try to find out the size of Eren’s cock on his own (like asking for condom tips like Armin lol) and gets this same answer again?

IM LAUGHING AT ALL THE FLOCH HATE HERE IT'S SO FUNNY! Someone sent me a similar ask like right before u and iether ur the same or u guys are just on the same wave length lmfao! we need a floch hating universe tag bc there was that one funny trail of asks where we were just HATING on him hard lol.

Mikasa has never liked Floch.

Not since the first day she met him, the eight grade having just begun, all of the elementary school students mixing together for the first time. Rival cliques forming, new friendships blossoming, and for Mikasa, the most stressful time in her life because her and Armin had to hold tight to Eren like a fucking lifeline. They hadn't been dating back then, but it was widely known amongst their little group that Eren belonged to her, that if someone was going to date him it would be her.

They had been friends for the longest, still lived across the street from each other, their moms were good friends, she was over at his house almost every day. A weird sort of possessiveness had overtaken her because she would NOT be losing her future husband to some brand new girl.

But little did she know, her real competition would be him, the irritating little red head that become obsessed with Eren nearly the moment he saw him: Floch Forster. He'd become almost enamored with Eren, and it got worse the older they got. Eren joined the soccer team, so did Floch, Eren took art instead of music class, so did Floch.

Even into university, of course she and Eren would attend the same universtiy, and yet the first day of classes there he was, sidling up next to Eren like it was nothing. Fucking Floch. Mikasa hates him.

Even more so because his obsession has so clearly morphed into a crush, and Mikasa doesn't discriminate when it comes to love rivals, anyone and everyone is seen as competition and she will NOT stand for Floch trying to steal her man. They're sitting at lunch, one of the larger cafe's on campus, Floch having found them after his most recent class to interrupt their intimate lunch date and Mikasa is fuming as usual because this is HER time with HER man.

"Yeah," Eren is nodding, patronizing his friend because he's never seen it, never understood her immense hatred of the man, "That exam was killer, we'll see how much they curve it." "I'm sure you did great Eren," Floch tells him helpfully and Mikasa's lip curls up in disgust, what a suck up. Where she was drilling Eren with exam questions up until the last moment before he went in here is this little puppy dog of a man spoon feeding him praise. Idiot. That is not how Eren will see results!

Eren smiles, turning to Mikasa, ever the doting boyfriend, "It'll be because Miki helped me study so much if I do." He leans in to kiss her and Mikasa makes it long, slow, her hand coming up to tangle in his hair, her tongue teasing his as she leans in. She makes an exaggerated little moaning sound as Eren grips her hip, his hands unable to stay by his side, tugging her closer to deepen the kiss and Mikasa squeezes his bicep to keep her balance. "Eren," she whispers breathily as he finally pulls back, rubbing the entire act in Floch's stupid face, and Eren looks out of it now, his pupils blown wide. He looks like he wants to discard his lunch all together in favour of taking her back to his apartment.

Eren winks at her as he pulls back, hand on her hip and ready to drag her away at any moment.

Mikasa grins, "You just needed some motivation baby what can I say?" Floch looks utterly disgusted and Mikasa smiles like the cheshire cat.

Eren meanwhile is getting antsy, it's clear to her that kiss was a precursor to a little afternoon delight if she can get away with it. "I'm gonna throw our stuff away okay Miki and then lets head home for a bit before your evening class." Floch looks like he wants to open his mouth, to protest but Mikasa cuts him off, looking up at her boyfriend spiritedly, all smiles, "I'd love that baby." Floch's mouth shuts in irritation and Eren gathers their lunch trays before disappearing off towards the trash and recycling bins. Mikasa has about two minutes alone with the little leprechaun and she's going to make it count. She turns, eyes thinned to slit, venom in her voice, "Stay away from him Floch." The Leprechaun glares back murderously, "No." "He's my boyfriend."

"Well maybe that could change," Floch smarts back, "You're awful confident for a girl who didn't make a move on him until the eleventh grade." Her nostrils flare and she could reach across this table and fucking claw his eyes out, she wants to.

"I'm confident because I have a promise ring on my finger and I'm the only one he's ever been with, everything that turns Eren on is me," she tells him confidently. "Until it's not," Floch scoffs, "Anything can get old after a while Mikasa, even you."

God she hates him, and she wishes she hadn't let Eren take her fork away, it would look awfully good sticking out of his hand right about now.

"I'm not worried about it, he still wants me just as badly as the day I took his virginity." "You sure?" Floch jeers, "Everyone likes to experiment in university, even men, don't count me out yet Mikasa."

"Don't fool yourself you were never even in the ring, I could take him home right now if I wanted and he'd thank me for it." "I think you give yourself too much credit Ackerman." "You don't give me enough," she retorts.

"You're just a pretty face and a nice body Ackerman, that's all. Eren will tire of you eventually, they always do, high school sweethearts don't last." "I'm a fuck of a lot more than that," Mikasa snaps, "You're an idiot if you think Eren is with me just for my looks, he loves me. My tits are just a nice perk." "Whatever you say Mikasa," Floch jeers, a cruel smile on his face, "They'll get saggy soon enough and then we'll see how big you're talking." Mikasa fumes, murderous, how fucking dare he. She's saved from answering at the sound of Eren's footsteps, and out of pure spite Mikasa yanks the V-neck of her top down to expose her ample cleavage. She mouths a quick 'Fuck You' to Floch before turning to Eren, and just seeing him is a relief, "Babe, I don't feel great can we head back now?"

Eren's words of concern are cut off by Floch, who isn't about to go down without a fight, "But Eren said he'd study with me." Eren is fighting a frown, his attention locked completely on her, and then more accurately, her tits as his eyes zero in on the creamy flesh of her breasts. "I really think I should get Mikasa home if she isn't feeling great," Eren mumbles absently, his hands slipping down to her waist, massaging her sides and going for a very discrete feel of her tits. It makes her smirk. Floch huffs, "I'm just worried about this quick next week, you know how crazy they are after an exam, it's right back into the material." "I'm sure it'll be fine," Eren mumbles, his gaze slippingn up to her face now, concern etched in his expression, "I want to get Mikasa home." He sure fucking does, she can tell just by the twitch in his hands as he touches her. He wants her. Now.

She gives him her most innocent look, holding her hands up for him to grab her, "Yeah I just wanna get home, lay in bed with you for a bit, I need a recharge."

A soft smile overtakes Eren's face and he takes her hands, lacing her fingers with his, "Yeah I need some Mikasa time."

Mikasa smiles winningly at Floch, tossing her hair over her shoulder as Eren helps her up, the final blow, "But Eren," She looks at him with faux concern, "Baby I think we're out of condoms though, should we buy more?" Eren looks genuinely confused as he tugs her up from the bench, his hand finding her hip almost worryingly and he's quick to stroke over the exposed skin.

"Baby what are you talking about you know I hate condoms, we havne't used them in forever" His brow furrows as he slips his other hand up to cup her forehead, checking her temperature, "Especially with you, you know I love going bare, are you sure you're okay?"

Mikasa smiles sweetly, surging up for a kiss, "Yeah I'm great, just love you."

Eren beams, tucking her under his arm, "Good, I was scared there for a sec, I can't even remember the last time we used a condom and I don't really want to." Eren turns, almost as an afterthought, shooting Floch a cocky smirk over her head, "You know how it is Forster, sorry duty calls, anyway I'll see you next week in our econ class yeah?" Floch is nodding dumbly, and Mikasa absolutely preens over her shoulder at him, even more so when Eren goes for a very non-discrete ass grab, evidently feeling a little frisky now. "Bye Floch." He glares at her, mumbling darkly, "Bye Mikasa."

AHAHAH OMG I WROTE THIS FOREVER AGO AND FOUND IT IN MY DRAFTS SO I JUST HAD TO FINISH IT!! NOW THAT IM FINALLY FEELING INSPIRED LOL AND I LOVE IT IT'S SO FUNNY