#bc they were emotionally draining lmao

[llatimeria]

why are upstairs neighbors the way they are. i know this is long but can somebody please . please read this and give me a reality check

the last few people who rented the apartment above us were annoying too but it pales in comparison to whoever lives there now. Every single fucking day, usually in the evenings or late afternoons, they do ... Something. it could be sex or some kind of exercise or any other number of things. It's just a lot of THUD THUD THUD THUD THUDs on and off for half an hour to an hour and a half. Today it started at 8pm and lasted til 9 but the last time I made a note of the time it happened around 3pm as I was trying to do homework.

It feels like the whole ceiling shakes. I swear sometimes it fucks with the air pressure in my ears, which is really hard to notice until it's driving me insane, like a grain of sand in my sock. It's started to stress out our dog, which just makes her start barking (and she's clearly barking at the ceiling), but her barking is in itself overstimulating, which stresses us out more, which she picks up on, which just makes her bark more because she's baby and doesn't like it when her dads are anxious.

The thudding alone can be enough to overstimulate us, but combined with the barking and coincidental other neighbor noises that don't usually bother us, it's... Extremely draining. We're both neurodivergent people with PTSD. Loud, unpredictable noises don't really mix well with us. On more than one occasion my partner's had full blown anxiety attacks bc of the combination of sudden loud noises (a known trigger for them) and the overstimulation (another known trigger for them). We like. Actively can't keep living like this. lmao. I cannot stress enough how it is every day and never quite at the exact same time so we can emotionally prepare for it, and it's not like we should have to prepare to exist in our own living room anyways.

Anyways I just need to purge all of my anxieties and get a reality check about this. Help

We could just be stupid and unreasonable and should just grow up and get over it, and will be fully confronted with that if we do anything.

We might just open ourselves up to harassment (or becoming the butt of a lot of jokes) because we're the whiny neighbors who have nothing better to do than complain

Even if we are being reasonable, it doesn't really make a difference, because if our neighbors think that we're not, they could harass us anyways

They could make a noise complaint about our dog out of spite ("why are you mad at Them when it's Your dog that barks")

Maybe we're also extremely annoying neighbors and we'll look like huge assholes/idiots if we complain about anyone else (implausible, but again. Small dog)

What if we try to contact them and they interpret it as an attack on them. We think one of the people living above us is a very large, heavyset man we've seen around the apartment complex, and we don't want to put our feet in our mouths if he's literally just vibing (or worse, excercising to lose weight) and we just totally humiliate him by telling him his mere footsteps are overstimulating down here. I don't want anyone to feel BAD. (And we're also not totally sure the guy we've seen is actually the guy above us, we just know they showed up around the same time)

We did actually try bonking the ceiling with a broom a few days ago and they obviously heard it because they stopped for a second, laughed, and started doing whatever it is more loudly, but what if that was entirely a coincidence and they didn't notice at all

What if they interpret any message we send as a passive-aggressive attack rather than just trying to let them know how loud they're being

And what if we do actually come across as passive-aggressive towards people who aren't us and we just make everything worse by bungling our communication attempts. It wouldn't be on purpose, but again it doesn't matter because some people interpret everything as an attack regardless

They could generally just fuck with our lives and make us miserable forever with no recourse if we fuck this up, too. like. We LIVE right BENEATH them. They know where we live and probably the layout of our apartment, since it's probably identical to theirs. They could probably figure out which car is ours. They could report our dog barking, or just come up with any number of fake/minor complaints. They could stalk us, vandalize our shit, intentionally make more noise or make louder noises and intentionally try to overwhelm/trigger us, or any number of things. Even if they got in trouble for it, that doesn't really matter because I just don't want it to happen in the first place.

And, worse, what if we try to get them punished, but it turns out we really were the aggressors the entire time according to anyone normal, and we just get our entire lives deservedly wrecked instead

i don't know what to dooooo

[hydn-jpg]

hello!! i am alive !!!!

how have y'all been? i've definitely been better lol

so... i can explain. or maybe not. i've never been good at talking about things but i'll do my best

under the cut bc a bunch of things happened and this'll probably be very long:

honestly where do i even start?

it has been a very rough almost month and a half for me, it was as if whatever god or entity out there went "lol wouldn't it be funny if we made this person go through several bad things all within the span of a few weeks" and then did just that

in early august i got a call from my mom that my grandmother had passed away. i had just gotten home from class at the time, but i immediately went out again and took the soonest available flight back to korea for her funeral. losing her hit me pretty hard honestly, she was the one i turned to when things were hard, and was also the only one who was generally supportive of my identity and sexuality. she didn't really get it, but she never made homophobic or transphobic comments, and was always kind and unconditionally loving. chuseok this year will be difficult without her around but at least she is in a better place i hope.

i took two weeks off from school to stay with my family after that. when i got back i was mostly catching up on all the classes i missed so i had very little time to do anything else. the stress coupled with all the physical exertion and everything else lead me to have the worst asthma attack i've experienced as of yet, it could've gotten a lot worse if it weren't for my kind neighbours who rushed to help me when they saw me struggling in the hallway

then in late august i got into a car accident. i was driving home from campus (which is an hour away), it was raining very heavily and i guess i lost control of my car. i am not sure what exactly happened honestly, one moment i was driving peacefully (and at appropriate speed for driving in the rain) and the next moment my car was spinning around and hitting the guardrails before crashing. it sounds cliché but everything was in slow motion and i literally saw my life flash before my eyes. i'm really thankful that the highway was basically empty, so no one else was affected. i somehow came out of the accident with only a concussion, a badly sprained arm and neck and some cuts and bruises. those will surely heal with time but the trauma of it will probably stay for quite a while.

so that's what happened. my mental health has not been great but i've been feeling a bit better lately! so that's good. i've been too physically, mentally and emotionally drained to do anything haha.

i probably won't be able to draw for a while thanks to my injury so you won't be seeing any art from me for at least another month or so,, to people i still owe commissions to, i will have to give you an IOU because again, i can't draw rn but also because i lost basically all the art that i haven't backed up during the crash, which unfortunately includes the commission sketches :( i'm so sorry, i'll redraw them as soon as i'm able to. i really wish procreate had an automatic cloud backup system so at least the sketches i did were saved but we can't always get what we want i guess,,

thank you to everyone who reached out and asked about my wellbeing and i'm really sorry for ignoring your messages and tags. i'll get to them as soon as i can!

tldr; my grandma passed, i had a bad asthma attack and i got into a car accident but i am okay. not really but i'll be okay maybe. lmao.

[ravenlking]

Could i make a request? If you don't wanna do it feel free to ignore it but.... Dom reader, lol yes yes I do love Dom reader, could i please have sweet fluff just like the first part of the series with Cater, Ruggie, Jamil and Silver? (idk if there's a character limit, i didn't find any but feel free to add or scratch out any you want) Just a reader who lovingly doms them and dotes and spoils them rotten as they take care of them

𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃, 𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐈, 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋 𝐕𝐈𝐏𝐄𝐑, 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑 as long as you stay with me, i think i'll be okay

part one (trey, rook, lilia) // part two (leona, floyd) // part three (cater, ruggie, jamil, silver)

gender-neutral warnings: - implied relationships :D genre: fluff a/n: - is this how authors feel when they get their first request? squeeee i love you mwah mwah! (thx for reminding me i forgot to make my own rules and stuff lmao) - the amount of stuff i have for cater- the pure bias i show for him *star eyes* - you know how part 2 was dom dominate reader? part 3 is soft dom reader guys :) - these banners belong to me bc I made them, but the pictures are from the official game. please do not steal! - please give me feedback :)

Let me know if you'd like more!

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃

Having a smile on your face hurts all the time. Physically and emotionally; it's draining Cater's happiness as we speak. Desperately trying to keep up that appearance of "everything is okay if we smile!" is exhausting, especially in moments like these. Riddle, screaming his head off at an impassively looking Ace. Riddle, whose voice rings all over Heartlsbayul's grand castle, desperately tries not to go back to his old ways and immediately beheads the foolish Ace of Cards.

It was literally the tenth rule of the Queen of Hearts 'Do not go on beyond the late night hours of 10:00 on a weekday., and Ace decides to not only rope himself but poor Deuce and his other two classmates. They have long been dismissed with a punishment of writing a 200-word apology essay, but Ace refuses to accept the rules.

"What's the point of doing it?" Ace yawns dismissively. "It's just gaming, it ain't gonna do anything harmful to me."

From the look on Riddle's face, it looks like he just wants to execute Ace. Cater and Trey exchange a tired glance and Riddle caught it. He sighs, pinching his nose, before dismissing the two. Cater dashes out of there; his smile slips from his face the moment he is out of sight. He feels so tired. He bangs his room door open, igniting you to wake from your slumber.

He mutters an apology before diving into your hands, clenching onto you and tangling his legs with yours, and burying his head in the crook of your collarbone. Tonight, he just wants you to hold him until he can recharge for yet another day.

A tiny smile climbs onto his lips when he feels you singing under your breath and the repetitive stroking of his hair immediately lures him into slumber. The last thing he feels is your gentle kiss on his forehead and a soft mutter of "Don't worry, I got you."

𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐈

Running errands is exhausting. Leona seems to have no idea how much Ruggie is struggling to balance his school work, extra jobs on the side, running after Leona- everything just piles up like a house of cards. And houses of cards are always destined to fall...today seems like that day.

Ruggie pants as he leans against a tree in the Courtyard. His arms are heavy with bags from Sam's Mystery Shop and sweat beads on his forehead. His hair uncomfortably sticks to his forehead; some strands are sticking into his eyes.

He is used to this, of course. The slums offered no mercy to those who didn't work 'til their bones old and frail. He is used to the hot summer day beating down on him until his back is red from the sun's glare, but why does today seem so tiring?

You were just passing by; Grim had already ditched you to go pranking with Ace and Deuce. You wanted no part in that (they were truly the idiot trio) and therefore decided to take a peaceful walk around Night Raven College before finally bumping into Ruggie.

His groceries were scattered all over the place and Ruggie hissed out angrily. For Seven's sake- he spent a whole hour in the Mystery Shop to get those rare groceries; he can't even go back for them because he bought them all. Ruggie snapped his head up, an angry glint in his eyes before it subsided slightly before noticing it was you.

"Oh," Ruggie muttered before picking up whatever salvageable groceries he could see. "Hello."

You frowned at his detached tone. Upon looking closer, Ruggie appeared extremely exhausted. His words seemed to slur together and his eyelids were slowly blinking as if the action was comparable to holding up the world. His hair was strangely more ruffled than usual and eyebags were visible under his ash grey eyes.

"Ruggie, is Leona running you ragged again?"

Ruggie flinched at the suddenness of the question before registering it and shaking his head. You frowned before staring at the groceries. "My love, these are all expensive meat products. Seven knows that you never touch nor eat this."

He was caught red-handed. Ruggie gave a heavy sigh before collapsing onto you. Yelping, you caught him. The beastman snickered slowly before he patted your head.

"If you would, would you mind telling Leona-san to stop? I need....sleep."

With that, Ruggie slept, snoring loudly. You laughed before cradling him bridal-style; he remained peacefully in his wonderful slumber, unknowing the rage that was boiling within you.

"Leona Kingscholar," You muttered as you began your journey back to Ramshackle. "You'll pay for doing this to my beloved."

Somewhere in Savanaclaw, Leona sneezed.

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋 𝐕𝐈𝐏𝐄𝐑

"Oh Jamil!!"

The moment Jamil heard that accused voice, he fled. He's had enough of disturbances today and judging from Kalim's tone, for the sake of his sanity, he dashed away until he accidentally collided into you.

"Jamil!" You glomped him with a giant grin. Just your scent- it brought warmness into Jamil's rigid body, giving him comfort. The aching pain in his muscles immediately faded away; he practically slumped against you and you chuckled.

"Hard day today?"

Jamil nodded, hands tightened around your hips. You simply pat his head and his hair ornaments jingle delicately.

Kalim came bounding right around the corner, still dressed in his lab coats and was whipping his head around. His ruby eyes searched the corridors until they landed on you and Jamil cuddling together. He immediately dashed towards you, crying out Jamil's name like it was a prayer.

"Please." You heard Jamil half-sob out. "I'm too tired to deal with this!"

Before Kalim could pull your jewel away from you, your hand shot outwards, stopping the excitable white-haired boy in his tracks.

"Kalim," You gave him an easy-going smile. However, your hold on Jamil tightened, as if you were unwilling to give him up. Jamil just buried himself in your scent, giving a silent apology to Kalim in his head. "Unfortunately, Jamil has business with me so we need to leave."

Kalim gasped and looked at Jamil with wide eyes. "Sorry Jamil! I totally didn't know this! Why didn't you tell me? I'll get going then!" And on that note, he ran away, his lab coat fluttering behind him. Jamil heaved out a heavy sigh before giving you a tired grin.

"Business?"

You nodded seriously before steering him away. "Of course! You have been neglecting me for quite some time; it is only natural for you to repay those lost hours!"

Jamil only chuckled before following you.

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑

Silver realizes that after a month of you constantly pampering him and caring for him that you're like an older brother, but whenever he thinks that, his mind immediately screams the opposite.

He's confused about how to feel. Butterflies erupt in his stomach whenever he meets your enchanting eyes and sun-blinding grin. But the way your gentle touch soothes him to sleep and pressing soft open-mouthed kisses on his forehead, you care for him so much- Silver's torn.

He comes to you, the question in his head and dragging his feet. He's slightly nervous, I mean, who wouldn't? One wrong thing and he might accidentally ruin his relationship with you. And never in a million years would he willingly do that.

Silver finds you in the library, reading peacefully. Soft taps that grow louder made you look up from your book, a questioning gaze in your eyes until they soften upon seeing your silver-haired beloved. You gently placed the book aside, opening your arms and Silver welcomely dived in. His eyelids fluttered shut and the warmness of your body was lulling him to sleep before his mind thankfully reminded him why he was here in the first place.

You were just about to continue reading when Silver's voice interrupted you.

"Y/N? I'm confused..."

You hummed, your attention on him once more. You combed your fingers through his hair and Silver mustered up the courage to continue.

"You sometimes treat me like a lover...but other times it feels like you're the older brother," Silver rambled. "Sometimes you cook for me, you wake me up for classes, you plan the dates, I-I just don't know anymore."

Silver squeezed his eyes tight for your reaction - but he certainly did not expect a laugh. You turned him around so he was straddling your waist, his hands on your waist and his eyes meeting yours. Yours were full of understanding as you pressed a kiss, punctuating each other.

"My love, what I am doing is called taking the dominate position," a kiss to the cheek. "So sometimes I'll take the lead, I'll be the one caring for you most of the time, you understand?"

Silver nodded. So this is what humans do when they court? His father forgot to mention this. Well, it doesn't matter now. His hearts feel lightened by your answer and his mind can easily rest.

A soft thump! against your chest made you realize that your beloved has fallen asleep once more. You laughed quietly to yourself before picking up your novel and continuing to read where you had left off; your fingers subconsciously played with his hair and a gentle smile could be seen on his lips as Silver slept.

[bruh-anator3000]

I wanna get back into writing but its so tedious, how do you do it? How did i do it so often last year? Anyways if enough people like this, maybe I'll finally do something with it

Warning; angsty lmao, viktor x reader, pretty sure its gn!reader so go ham, less than 800 words, get ready to feel the love ya mother never gave you points at mirror bc this bitch cried over this

Have fun :D much love <3

...

"Why did you break up with me?" You felt the words build up in your throat, making it so sore they fell from your lips like a damn bursting. "What did I do wrong?" What we had, I thought was something good.

Viktor stayed silent. His back faced you as his focus never left the mechanics in front of him. On his desk. All his focus and hands on it. His gaze on it. How could something so small keep his attention from something so important.

You scoffed. "Just tell me so I don't make the same mistake in future relationships, okay? Then we can pretend we never happened."

The machine he was working on clattered to his metal desk. It made a loud clunk as it dropped. His hands went into his auburn brown hair. Those dexterous fingers curled around his locks and you got the message.

With a sigh, you let out a soft 'goodnight, Viktor,' and headed for the door.

"You scare me." His accented voice carried through the empty lab. Your hand froze above the doorknob, mere inches away from freedom. Inches away from escaping the crushing weight the man had just dropped on your shoulders.

He shifted in his stool with a huff. "No, no...you terrify me." He let out a dry, emotionally drained laugh. Viktor dragged a hand over his face.

You cast your gaze over your shoulder, your hand dropping. Your heart was being torn up all over again. The same splintering notion as the night he took you out to dinner, stood abruptly as the words he had said and left. You weren't sure how to react. How was someone supposed to react to this? You couldn't yell, that would further prove his point. You couldn't ask him to reiterate, you didn't want to know more. It was you. You were the problem.

You always were, weren't you?

"It's the way you talk." Viktor started again. You shook your head, you didn't want to hear this anymore. Opening your mouth, you felt a choked sorry try to pry it's way out out your lips. But Viktor continued. "Every word, it's like a siren song and I suddenly can't think straight. You speak with such confidence, I fear I get light headed from the sound of your voice. How your tone gets lighter when you're excited. How it darkens when you're serious."

"The way you handle problems, the way your eyes get so intense with focus, the jealousy that overwhelms me wishing it was I who held your attention, wishing I was deserving of that intensity, it frightens me. Knowing I could spend days upon days here in these very labs on a project no one else could figure out but if you- if you asked, I would burn it to the ground in attempts to see you smile. If you wanted - if you simply asked - I would drop to my knees and let you take my very life."

Viktor finally faced you, golden eyes glazing with tears. "I'm scared of how passionately I wish to love you."

You were stuck in place. That was something you didn't know how to react to. Those words... how would anyone react sensibly unless it was scripted. Was this scripted? Some joke?

"Viktor..." You said his name and watched as a tear rolled down his hollowed cheek. His eye bags had gotten worse, his complexion paler than you remember.

He sighed, moving his hand to rest his forehead in the heel of his palm. "I'm sorry, you deserve someone better."

You said his name again, softer as you took a step closer. Again you said that name, that name you wished was connected to yours. Again, you took a step towards him. Another and another until your practically ran to him as he stood up.

He caught you in his arms, shaking with silent tears. You wrapped your arms tight around him, burrying your face in his shoulder, feeling so sad yet so full of love. He held you closer and his hand craddled your head, as if he let even a fraction of space between you, he'd loose you all over again. Apology after apology, in the language you knew well and the other you only heard from him, tumbled out of his lips. You only shook your head against the junction between his neck and chest. Holding him just as tight, fingers digging into his shirt.

"I love you, miláčku." His breath shuddered with tears. "Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted what was best for you."

"You are what's best for me. I love you, Viktor. I always have."

[horce-divorce]

I'm 8 days post-op from Dr. Wrubel in Grand Rapids, Michigan!!

Just had my drains out & bolsters off, experiencing a euphoria heretofore previously unknowable to my mind and body, and it still hasn't REALLY even sunk in yet????? It's really real. It's really over. They're gone and I really never have to have tits ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first week, still being bandaged up in the binder with tubes coming out of my ribs, I mainly felt injured, the relief hadn't set in yet. It certainly made it MORE real, and I had a few fleeting moments of "it happened? Already?? That's IT???" But it was hard to feel like it's permanent with all that stuff attached. also i was very preoccupied (unrelated to surgery).

Also? Surgery (like massages!) can apparently bring a lot of deep emotions and trauma to the surface. Post-op depression is a real thing, surgery is a lot for a body to go through. For days post op I was bursting into tears randomly remembering shit from YEARS ago, sitting there saying shit like, "it feels like my chest was ripped open (emotion)!" and then laughing my ass off bc my chest WAS literally ripped open. Of course all the feelings came spilling out. I'm pretty well adjusted so I enjoyed this, but I can see how a heads up might behoove a person!

Yesterday, once the drains were out, I had more of those "it happened?!" moments. Less fleeting. Feeling my shirt material against my ribs for the first time, where my sideboob used to be, and bursting into tears because I never even knew I missed that. Reaching in front of me expecting to bump into/grab a boob and hitting nothing. Walking around comfortably for once, feeling muscles tense waiting for a bounce-and-slap that never comes back. My friends (even the cis ones?! even the cis nurse?!?!) screaming and yelling that my scars and nips look SO good.

So it's sinking in more now, at the 22 hour mark; I can look down and see how flat, and feel that I'm not wearing a binder, and take a deep breath. I can reach down to cup a boobie that is no longer there (a sensation not unlike missing a step going down the stairs, but much smaller, and much giddier). I reach too far and feel a half-painful, half-numb tug. It's getting LESS fleeting, but I can still smell the sutures, I can still feel where the drains were, I haven't yet felt the sun on my chest for the real first time but I think maybe today will be the day, and at least for the first time I can SEE that happening.

For the first time the future isn't just an abstract concept, or just maybe something I can have. 10 years ago I didnt know if I'd be alive the next day, let alone in a year or 5 years. Today, I know I'm going to go outside and feel the sun on my bare, flat chest and that it's going to move me emotionally in a way I've never been moved. I know that now. I know I'm going to start those rural queer meetings this month, we already have the time and place. I know I'm going to banned book club this month because I want to really bad and I said I would. I'm even fairly certain I might actually get to go to GR Pride again for the first time since 2015 (and only for the second time ever!!!!! Ive only been to Pride once and never while I was out as trans!!!!!). I know I'm healthy enough right now to camp more and do more rockhounding and foraging and hiking and things I love this summer. I'm going to fucking cry holy shit. I'm so grateful rn. I have so many good friends. I have so much to look forward to. I finally have a body I don't fucking hate lmao. This is such a vast difference from this time last year.

I don't even know what to do with myself right now, I feel like I have zoomies!!! I'd be running around except it hurts my tits LOL. Real talk tho my body still very much anticipates the weight of those things every time I take a step, my muscles tense to hold them, and then they just... aren't there? It's the WEIRDEST sensation of all time. It's actually kind of validating as fuck? to truly notice for the first time just how much the rest of my body had to compensate for those things?? I feel SO hard for anyone with yabbos off the size chart + back problems. Cursed fuckin combination. You definitively have to work extra hard just to carry those fuckin things around and it's unjust!!!

It is LITCHERALLY!!!! a weight off my damn chest and the rest of my body!!!!! Emotionally and physically!!!!!!!! Like I can't even anticipate how much this will help my sensory issues and that wasn't even something I'd considered when I signed up for it lol

Anyone who's sitting here apprehensive about top surgery: I won't sugarcoat it, okay, i have a high pain tolerance BUT sensory issues. I opted not to take any tramadol, and the first week was pretty gnarly (2 things can be true). The drains are a fucking nightmare, especially for any of my fellow autistic baddies looking at top, yeah, the sensory aspect, I tell ya... MAN. I will NOT lie, It is DIS-GUS-TENG. The actual surgical pain isn't much worse than like a bad flareup of my usual chronic pain; overall it's like a 6 or 7 at the absolute worst and that's only when I'm overdoing it and like touching my chest all the time/wearing a seatbelt/carrying shit I shouldn't have been carrying (again w/o the pain meds). It feels a bit bruised and more than a bit burned, tender and sore to the touch, but it's totally bearable and to me it's way less painful than dysphoria by a long shot.

absolutely every single second of it has been worth it and I never once doubted it was the right thing to have done. I would do it again with zero hesitation. If you have been waiting to look into top because, idk, you wanted a sign, or you're lazy, or you think it's gonna be too hard, or you're worried about recovery- here's your sign. don't be. The way I feel right now is something you deserve to feel. I want you to feel this way. And I promise there is no combination of words I can find that would do it justice. You just have to feel it for yourself. Stop waiting for the right time. You're alive right now. Call your surgeon. I love you.

[diam0ndg1rl]

Basically this girl i’ve been friend with for YEARS now ! Shes like a sister to me like i feel so understood and comfortable around her. Shes always said she feels the same and like best friends forever blah blah blah… all of that right.

So she has problems with her mum like mummy issues right, she knows i have problems w my mum as well but i dont talk about that with ANYONE cuz i dunno its better to fake a smile then explain it all yk.

And the other day we were in our maths class and we sit together (convinced my 67yo maths teacher to change the seating plan for us only if i helped him afterschool with doing this textbook check and he got a boner and had to leave the room… pedo alert !! )

ANYWAYS we were sitting in maths and she was practically shouting about what her mum does to her and how bad it got last night and i swear to god this girl wanted the whole school to know she has mummy issues. I feel like its something u shouldnt brag bout yk. Like the odd joke and meme thats funny but bragging about something that genuinely makes me want to kms and eats away at me physically mentally emotionally and drains me until im just a sad little crumb that she’ll happily sweep up and put in the bin without a second look or a tear in her eye…. It isnt the thing to brag about it.

Im NOT the best with advice and comforting and all that, its just not my cup of tea and my friends get it and we all laugh about it so she knew i couldnt rlly help her in that moment. But she just wouldnt stop talking and i was getting uncomfortable based on the topic and how everyone is literally staring at us and im sat there. Yk the whole panic anxiety attacks whatever, i had to go to the toilet and sort myself out. Luckily i dont wear makeup sooo didnt have to worry about that.

I dont know what to do bc shes so sweet and like such a good friend but she always does this when she talks about her mum and i physically cant anymore. Like she makes it a competition who has the worst mum and i dont want to compete and she should know u cant get a trophy from getting any form of abuse !!

I just realised how long this is LMAO😭ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི

Also do u like my paragraphing… my english teacher says i need to work on it so💪💪

[alo-piss-trancy]

Okay so my playthrough clocked in at a little over 93 hours. Though probably a couple hours longer than that bc it took me 4 times to beat the Final Fight and there was also a couple of other optional boss encounters that kicked my ass lmao

BIG DA:O SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So fun fact: I fucked my playthrough up at like the 87 hour mark 😭💔 I tried to be a decent person and not kill Loghain and let him go through with the Joining. Did not expect that Allistaire would throw a WHOLE-ASS TANTRUM and ditch us for good right before the final fight 🤬

Like bro I GET why you were hurt and angry but also??? This is literally a war to save a zillion lives we needed all the help we could get. Loghain was gonna die anyway. You bitched at me EVERY OTHER TIME I killed somebody (ok Connor was an accident. But he bitched me out over Brother Genetivi when he was gonna reveal the ashes and everything?!?). Bro goes on and on about honor and helping ppl and the Grey Wardens and then he literally just DIPS before the biggest fight ever. I thought he was gonna come back at the end and help when he came to his senses but NAH. WE'RE STRAIGHT UP DIVORCED FOREVER HE DIDN'T COME BACK OR COME TO MY CEREMONY AFTER. I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN 😭💔💔💔💔 GLAD U LET UR HALF-SISTER DIE BITCH IM P SURE GOLDANNA'S HOUSE WAS RUBBLE IN BURNED-DOWN DENERIM. FUCK OFF YOU WHINY SELFISH PRICK I LOST SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU

Also Morrigan left that night too bc I wouldn't go with her fucked up demon baby plan lmao. Which I don't fault her for to be fair, I get she couldn't bear to see her only friend EVER die ☠️ I'm actually hype af for my future morally-awful playthru bc I will DEFINITELY be seeing that plan then lmao.

But yeah. MY CHARACTER GOT TO FINISH THE GAME AND GO THRU THE BIG FINALE FIGHT WITHOUT THE TWO BIGGEST SUPPORTERS THAT GOT HER THERE AND STARTED THE JOURNEY 😭😭😭 SHIT H U R T S

If I didn't have Leiliana and Meatball as my ride-or-dies my protag woulda been completely devastated for real like COME ON 😭💔 THANK GOD FOR HER BESTIE AND HER DOG THE REAL MVPS 😔🙏

Actually I was a little let down by the final fight. Like it was a cool concept and I enjoyed getting to play with the ballistas bc u keep seeing them in other parts of the game. But I basically had to play as Leiliana the whole time ajdkdjj. I built my character as a badass warrior with BUSTED strength and it was lowkey useless bc the final boss is out of range for 90% of the fight and I sold my crossbow to Sandal for more healing potions. Broooo 😭☠️💔

So yeah uh. SUPER awesome game I loved 90% of it (the combat on ps3 actually kills my hands bc of the constant L2 holding or tapping for radial menu and giving orders. SO PAINFUL please tell me they change this in the sequels it fucking HURTS). Fyi it actually was an interesting ending, I don't fault it and actually thematically it was cool to team up with Loghain for the last few hours, I'm just emotionally butthurt my whole imagined future with Allistaire went down the drain 😭💔 I love how many choices you get in this game tho and how they aren't always predictable. It's nice to not be able to 'game the system' for a 'perfect' ending as much as say, P5 or similar rpg/jrpgs lol. I like that you can fuck up REAL BAD with your companions lmao.

I have the other 2 games on ps3 waiting, fighting the urge to dive into 2 asap bc I want to digest Origins first but mmmm. I see why ppl went crazy for these. If I'd had these a decade ago I woulda replayed SO MANY times for real, this is what I wanted out of Skyrim story/companion-wise 🙏

[enby-jetstar]

(header courtesy of @ao3commentoftheday )

It's WIP Wednesday! ✨ Haven't done one of these in a little while!

once you go hazy, you'll understand

Chapters: 5/?

Words: 14,036

Next Update: February 16

General Comments: worldbuilding is my favorite part of writing, and this fic gives me so many opportunities!!

Playground Eyes

Chapters: 5/14

Words: 36,842

Next Update: March 1

General Comments: oh we're gettin' into the juicy part of the story huh?

[brookreader]

Analyzing Belos’ Eyes On The Owl Lady Suspects

Raine Whispers

Evidence for Raine being a traitor:

A lot of shots of them looking guilty this episode. Like. A lot

Canonically a good liar, has fooled Eda before

Was the one to suggest that Eda get a sigil

Could be being blackmailed by Terra or Belos

Could be being brainwashed after all

Evidence against Raine being a traitor:

No <3 I simply refuse to believe it

The guilty looks are easily explained as them feeling bad for endangering Eda’s safety

They know the draining spell is going to kill everyone, I doubt they’d be stupid enough to take any offers of keeping Eda safe or whatever from Terra or Belos

Judging by their actions in both this episode and Eda’s Requiem, they put the success of the rebellion above everything, even (reluctantly) Eda’s safety

We as a fandom have been here before. Many fans were suspicious of Raine before Eda’s Requiem aired — it was unfounded then and I bet it’s unfounded now

That might be too many twists for one character’s loyalties. Put some back

Darius

Evidence for Darius being a traitor:

Was the one featured in the ep where the possibly-foreshadowing “coven heads betray each other all the time” line was said

Knew and clearly admired Hunter’s predecessor — perhaps he thought that predecessor was loyal to the emperor and so…?

Evidence against Darius being a traitor:

I pulled that possible motivation directly out of my ass

Seems more likely that the previous Golden Guard is part of the reason he’s rebelling

We just had the twist of him being a rebel, it would be weird for the next twist to be “LMAO jk no he’s not”

Seems to genuinely care for Hunter and Raine

Eberwolf

Evidence for Eberwolf being a traitor:

Honestly if there IS a spy I think Eber’s the most likely candidate

We know very little about Eberwolf in general — their motivations are a mystery

While a semi-big deal was made out of Darius being a rebel, Eber has just kinda been in the background. It feels suspicious

Coven Head, so the “coven heads betray each other all the time” would work as foreshadowing

Conspicuously absent from this group shot at the end of OTWAT. Could be an animation mistake, but could also Not be

Evidence against Eberwolf being a traitor:

maybe switched places with Eda at the end of COTH, bc of the growling?? Not rlly sure what that would imply though

Amber, Derwin, or Katya

Evidence for one of them being a traitor:

Like with Eber, we know very little about them and their motives

Evidence against one of them being a traitor:

For Katya, when we first met her she was in the conformitorium and seemed pretty passionate about her divergence

Wouldn’t make for a very dramatic reveal

Steve

Evidence for Steve being a traitor:

Showed up conveniently just as the CATTs were about to put their plan into motion

I could totally see Belos sending one of his friendlier scouts to go infiltrate them

Well-liked enough to emotionally fuck with the audience if true

Evidence against Steve being a traitor:

It would be weird from a writing standpoint to have the person who helped King and King helped in return, a huge turning point in King’s character in general, have been lying the whole time

Look at that face. Does that look like the face of a liar to you?

Adrian Graye (or another illusion witch)

Evidence for:

We’ve seen a lot of people being illusioned into other people these last few episodes — could be foreshadowing

As @shoulderpats pointed out, Steve’s freckles/moles/acne scars have moved since last episode. Could be an error, but could also Not be an error

Stopping the rebellion would potentially be a good way for Adrian to get some dignity back after getting his ass kicked by a 12 year old who wasn’t even really trying

Evidence against:

Can’t really think of any, feel free to add on if you can

Terra Snapdragon

Evidence for:

Only speculation, but she could have picked something up from Raine and/or be spying on them

Much as I want to believe they’ve got her 100% fooled, it might not be that easy

Evidence against:

Again, can’t really think of anything

Lilith Clawthorne

Evidence for Lilith being a traitor:

Could be being manipulated by the emperor again, trying to save Eda and maybe Hooty and her niece and nephew too

Evidence against Lilith being a traitor:

After all the character growth she’s had, it seems unlikely that she’d backslide that hard

Shown in Elsewhere And Elsewhen to be able to recognize signs of manipulation now

Same twist villain twice??

I really don’t think it’s Lilith but I wanted to cover all my bases

Hunter

Evidence for Hunter being a traitor:

Also could be being manipulated, or the emperor could be able to see what he sees or something since he created him

Evidence against Hunter being a traitor:

After Hollow Mind I really doubt he’s gonna believe Belos again

Belos seemed genuinely surprised when Hunter got the key, so I don’t think he can see through his eyes or anything

I hit the image limit so I’ll reblog with the remaining suspects

[seiyasabi]

Howdy I've reading about yandere la squadra with pregnant darling before and I like it, do you think the yandere will do if they see her half sleep while breastfeed his child? (not poly)

ehehe love me some la squadra <3

Yandere La Squadra x Breastfeeding Reader HCs:

Risotto:

-When he comes home from his meeting, the last thing he expected was to see the two of you in such a precarious state

-He knows you've come a long way from when you were first taken, but he can't help but worry about how tired you've been lately

-He slips behind you, moving you into a comfortable position, before helping your son latch onto your breast in an easier fashion

-Once he knows you're both secure, he'll wait until your son in done feeding, he'll burp him, then allow the two of you to sleep in peace.

Prosciutto:

-Wants to scold you for putting your daughter in a dangerous position, but he can't bring himself to

-Your pregnancy took a lot out of you, and your turbulent sleep schedule hasn't helped you recuperate from your hard birth (never mind the fact that you didn't want to be w him in the first place, or have his kids-)

-He'll take her from your arms, shushing her, before grabbing your previously pumped milk, and starting to feed her himself

-All whilst doing this, he'll herd you into bed, and force you to sleep

Illuso:

-He'll straight up laugh at you

-Thinks you're being ridiculous, considering your only job is 'housewife,' but once your sleepy self starts crying, thus causing your twins to join in, he'll realise that you're absolutely emotionally drained

-Unlike the other two, he won't wait until you're somewhat ready for children, he'll just make you have them when he wants you to

-Remembering the articles ab new moms killing their kids in a fit of psychosis, he quickly swoops in and helps out, letting you rest for a while

-Whilst Illuso is a total ass, he does care ab you in some sick way

Formaggio:

-Thinks you and his daughter are adorable

-He'll quickly wake you up, before taking you to your shared bedroom, and making you a comfy spot

-Although he's dumb af, he knows that you need your rest

-He's the type to buy the fake boob feeders (like they're filled w ur previously pumped milk, but instead of a bottle, it's in the shape of tiddies lmao), so he'll whip that out and take over

Melone:

-Seeing you and his triplets makes his heart pound with love

-You don't have enough tiddy to go around, so you're feeding one w a bottle, but they're still resting on your chest, giving them the skinship they need

-Also the type to get the tiddy feeder thingy, just custom made w three tits

-Isn't afraid to give the kids formula if u don't make enough milk

-Will force you to go to bed, taking over immediately bc he loves u sm

-Is so happy you finally gave into his whims

Pesci:

-Seeing you all sleepy w your son makes him so flustered

-He rushes over and helps the babe reattach himself, before he does as Ris did, and places you in his lap

-He'll allow you to sleep on his chest whilst ur son feeds, before taking care of his needs, and then taking care of yours

-Will wake u up to make sure you ate and drank water, before giving you a romantic bath

-Will always put you first <3

Ghiaccio:

-Loves both u and his daughter to bits, so he'll quickly grab a bottle and get to work

-He's so soft for the both of u, and he'll multitask feeding ur babe, and ordering you to do self care

-Lowkey thinks ab making Pesci take care of ur baby so u can rest for a while

-Once the baby is put down for bed, he'll let you rest against his cool skin, lulling you to sleep

Sorbet and Gelato:

-Sorbet walks in on a sleeping Gelato and a tired you

-Your twins are nestled in your arms, suckling each breast, as you give the dark haired man a tired smile

-From the looks of it, Gelato made sure you took care of yourself, whilst also taking care of the babies

-Will take the babes from u and feed them, allowing u and Gel to cuddle in bed, before he joins y'all

[denkisdurag]

bakugo, midoriya, todoroki, kirishima, kaminari x black!reader

summary : they see you with braids for the first time

a/n: oh ? what's this ??

dashi actually posting what people follow them for ? wow i know

i haven't posted SHIT in forever i'm so sorry. i'm in class and im takin this test rn and i am extremely physically and emotionally and mentally ✨ drained ✨ and i'm about to pull a midari 😻 but i'm still gonna finish this because i feel bad ahaha laugh out loud

and those who have requested, i'm sorry they're taking so long !! they're in my drafts i swear i've just been kinda out of it

so take this long ass writing as my apology thank u ily

———

katsuki bakugo !

when you walk into that classroom,,

whew chile

whiplash

probably gonna say some shit like

"what's with the worms coming outta yo head"

which is actually something i've been told but anyways

best believe you gonna whip your head around and wack him with them

and if they're pulled up into a ponytail then even better

he claims that he doesn't like them

but he can't take his eyes off you in that classroom

if someone calls him out then he'll furiously deny it

"why are you staring at [name]"

"NO IM NOT"

"yes you are"

"SHUT UP"

cut the cap bakugo

you know you admiring them 😌

he refuses to be honest with himself

but let you look up at the board and your braids frame your face as the sun hits you just right

no one:

bakugo's guard: 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

izuku midoriya !

he happened to turn his head as you were walking in

his head had sIRENS going off

"p pr e t t y yy"

he has s o m a n y q u e s t i o n s it's not even funny

how long did it take? does it hurt? did you do them yourself?

and by the way if you can do box braids on your own head, i have so much respect for you but anyways

he's just staring at you as you're taking your notes

thinking of how etheral you look right then

and he's taking his own notes

not for class but of you

he made a lil sketch on one of the pages in his notebook

and when class is over

he comes up to you

maybe in the cafeteria

and he starts asking all the questions that he wanted to

ofc you're happy to answer

he's writing everything down with a soft yet determined smile on his face

and you keep talking as he nods, noting all info you're providing

but then he hears something being hit over and over again

and he looks up

and you're just ,,,

smackin the shit outta yo head ??

miss gurl is you okay ???

but you noticed the bewildered look on his face

and explained how you can't directly itch your head because it would frizz up the braids

long story short, he's very interested in your hair and its background

shoto todoroki !

he was sO confused lmao

he was like

"how does black hair work ??????"

because you could be natural one day

and then have bantu knots the next

and don't even get me sTARTED on wigs

"is it a part of their quirk?"

he's an extremely blunt person

so he just kinda walks up to you like

"how does ur hair work"

and you're glad to tell him of course

but bro pls slow down

this is a lot to take in at once

of course he's interested and wants to learn

but his brain is only so big 😔 have mercy bro my man is not megamind

eventually he starts to grasp the idea

and he'd love you to educate him on your next hairstyle :)

eijiro kirishima !

kiri would immediately hide all straighteners from you if you were insecure or doubting your appearance but that's for another time bc we talkin about box braids rn

y'all know how i religiously believe this man is a simp

so the rESPECT HE HAS FOR YOU WHEN YOU COME THROUGH WITH THOSE BRAIDS-

WHEW CHILE

HE MIGHT BE MORE CURIOUS THAN DEKU

he wants to t o u c h

but he knows it's rude and won't do so without asking and getting your permission first

but once he gets the "ok"

hands all up in your shit

he might lightly pull on one ngl

but he'll immediately let go if you tell him to

even though that grip game strong 😤

he probably compliments you the most

so yeah

Respect ™‬

denki kaminari !

practically short circuited

like "oh"

"well this is new ,,,,,,,"

you know how he's always holding ojiro's tail

yeah so just expect him to take one of your braids and mindlessly twirl it around one of his fingers in class

he won't even realize he's doing it

you're just sitting in your seat and you'll feel your hair being played with and you turn around

and its just denki twirling it subconsciously as he talks to his friends

"bro"

he looks at you

and then you glance at the hair between his index and middle finger

and he follows your gaze

cue him dropping it and letting it fall onto your back again

"oh sorry!"

"its okay," you smile softly at him

he wants to kith u

and i don't know about u

but i would take that kith

———

i got lazy this wasn't even good smh

anyways i'll see y'all in another two months 😹😹

[lgbtqlegends]

Hi! Do you have any prompts about ava getting to see saras worst memories or past traumas first had? Like maybe a mission involving saras past or a head injury or something that requires someone going through her memories? Thanks! Love your prompts 🥰🥰

oooo yes i love it, the a n g s t :) thanks for the ask n hope you enjoy!

-okay so, imma go with the head injury thing, bc i think i can cover more ground more easily that way. or some demon or magical creature or something puts her in a a coma where she's stuck reliving or witnessing all of her past trauma happen to herself inside her head, and she can't get out unless someone is able to pull her out

-obviously ava is the one to do it, because she knows sara, they All know sara, and they know that sara would never be okay with any of the rest team seeing her darkest moments, would never be okay being so completely Vulnerable with them (and they know her well enough to know that ava is her safe place, and they all figure she could really use something like that if they're gonna be able to get her out of her head)

-so they send ava into sara's mind, and no one really knows for sure how it's gonna go down or anything (except maybe john or nora or astra, vaguely), but ava absolutely will not take no for answer because she's gonna get her girl back, goddammit

-once she's in, she finds sara (her sara) watching everything play out, the memories clear as day. she tries to pull her out then and there, but they quickly realize it doesn't work like that, and they have to sit there and watch all of sara's past traumas play out right before their eyes, as if it were in real time. sara looks tired, resigned, as if she knew she shouldn't have expected it to be so easy. so she grabs ava's hand and sits down to let it all happen, and softly whispers something along the lines of "you get to know all of me now, even some of the darkest things that i never managed to voice." and at first ava feels kinda bad bc this wasn't sara's choice and of course she wants to know all of sara, but she only ever wanted that on sara's terms, when sara was ready to tell her, but then sara continues a moment later and says smth like "i think it's easier this way. i think it's easier for you to see what it was really like if you watch it happen right now, cause i'd never be able to voice any of it like this." it's melancholy though, and ava can tell that it's still gonna hurt sara, so she just puts an arm around her shoulder and they settle in to watch

-it starts with the gambit, because that's the first big thing, the thing that started everything,, for sara. it's hard for ava to hear sara's scream, or watch the way she gets pulled underwater, but she still does, and anytime she hears a small gasp coming from sara, she holds just a little tighter, silently letting her know she's not alone

-the amazo is next, and that's even harder for ava to watch because of everything ivo put her through. it's especially hard though because sara's clearly not okay at all, if the way she's curled in on herself and the way she's close to a panic attack is anything to go by. they both end up in tears, because sara's time on the amazo never fails to make her feel so so vulnerable, and ava can't help but cry with her because it hurts, a lot, to see sara's younger self going through that

-after the amazo is lian yu and then the league of assassins, and that takes the longest because she spent so many years with the league. ava can tell that watching all of her league memories play out is really hard for sara too. she can see in sara's eyes, the guilt that gets heavier and heavier with every league hit that they have to watch

-watching sara die, three arrows to the chest and falling off of a rooftop is the hardest for ava. no matter how many times she's seen sara die, it never gets any easier and it hurts just as bad everytime. sara hugs ava tight, and she's more or less stoic during this memory, but ava notices the way her free hand hovers lightly over her chest/abdomen, where 3 scars from 3 arrows mark their spot

-memories of the bloodlust aren't easy, either. sara gets really restless and ava has to hold her tight to keep her from getting self-destructive

-ava hugs sara extra tight, gives her a small, comforting kiss while they watch her break down in her dad's arms after finding out her sister died

-the memories start to go by a little faster after that; snart dying, getting shot and killed by rip, stein's death; mallus and the death totem lasts a bit longer, hurts a bit more; rip's death, and the death of her dad (ava hugged her extra tight then, too), neron, crisis and oliver's death, atropos and her loss of vision/gift of foresight, and everything she went through in space (purposely vague lmao)

-once they're finally out of sara's head and out of her memories, the team's first instinct is to give them both a hug, but they hold back because they can see that sara (and ava too, honestly) needs a little time, and that she'll shut down if they all crowd her and overwhelm her

-they both kinda stumble out of the medbay, holding tight to each other, neither of their minds entirely in the present, to go somewhere, most likely their room, where they can be alone together (and also probably have a drink or two because that was,,, a lot, for both of them, and they're both exhausted and emotionally drained)

also!! choco and I have a fic planned that has a similar concept to this, where all the legends have to go through a sort of nightmare scape thing, that picks one trauma for each of them,, kinda whatever hurts them the most,, and they all have to witness each other go through it again!! it's gonna be p angsty so,, if you like our angst writing, stay tuned and be on the lookout for it!!

[emeraldvagabond]

If Rhysand was portrayed as a misogynistic and abusive bastard who later learns from his mistakes and his position in the narrative more ambiguous, I would've loved him as a character. I'd still find his actions abhorrent. But at least it his character wouldn't be the mess we're dealing with. In other words, more like how Tamlin's arc went lmao.

As it is, my reaction to finishing the series was "this woman has a hell lot of issues she needs to get checked out ASAP"

I just have nothing to add to this😭😭sorry, you're just right. There's nothing else. You've said it all. I could just...I could like Rhysand's character if he stayed in the bad guy role he was supposed to play, but he didn't lmao. Now he's just like...I dont know what he is he's still a shit person🤢sorry, male🤢 but for some reason everyone around him, even the people he uses and abuses for no reason other than he felt like it, think he's the greatest thing to walk the earth bcause....reasons....and the plot just couldn't go on if he faced consequences.

Tamlin's arc was a fucking mess too, but he's...just everything she was trying to make Rhysand LMAO I'll say it. If the series hadn't done a 180 to make Rhys the good guy and retconned everything in the first book he would just....be straight up good. I stand on that, it is a hill I am willing to die on. He is not portrayed as abusive in the first book. But even throughout the others...we get this morally grey character....his actions are actually backed by what he thinks are good ideas. i.e. working for hybern but like...not actually. and we get to see the kind of idea sjm had for Rhys but executed very poorly.

His magic exploding and shit...being directly tied to his emotions...could have been something he worked on. That could have been part of his arc, to be fair, maybe he was in control before Amarantha but he's been all but drained of his power for 50 years....it's got to be a readjustment. Locking her in the house, not teaching her about her magic....being emotionally negligent?? These are all things we see that he already regrets and would like to fix, even as the "bad guy". That is kind of...the idea of a morally grey character, Rhys kind of just does things and doesnt care what it does to anyone else, and also doesnt care if it isnt good...because he has like a total of 6 people he likes and actually gives a fuck about, and they don't care, and even when they do care(Mor when her abusers were given permission to come to Velaris)they...just dont matter. Because hes the greatest most bestest most...whatever that pizza commercial says because thats a what I think of every time I read those fucking sentences he used to "teach feyre how to read and write" like...babe??? how did THAT work???

Anyway sorry for making everything about Tamlin, I do in fact love him, even though he has dumb bitch disease to the max and also an inability to read people(Ianthe....bitch) and also makes horrible awful decisions occasionally. And I hate Rhys bc he makes horrible awful decisions nearly all the time but their hailed as the best things ever bc.....everyone kisses his fucking feet for some reason...the ground he walks on is blessed.....for some reason.

Idk I'm rambling and not making sense. I'm on mobile cause I'm waiting for my game to load so I can put Timtam in Henford-on-Bagley with my totally-not-a-self-insert sim. Feel free to laugh now. I feel like I can pack it up because like I said you're just...right.

feel like I started this with I have nothing to add and then proceeded to add a lot. Humm. Same energy as "I'm just at a loss for words" b4 your mom cusses you out.

Get Feyre therapy 2k21, might as well throw everyone else in there too. Get Acotar therapy, 2k21.

[mokutone]

yo i would love to hear some of ur trans yam headcanons :) (also ps ur art is breathtaking and whenever i see it reblogged on my dash i always come here anyway to read ur tags bc they r so! good!)

thank u 🥺🥺🥺 god im sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a couple days ksdjghsdkjgh not only have i got a LOT of thoughts to put here (this is only a selection of the bigger thoughts skdjghsdkjhg) i was also super busy the past few days!!!! ty for ur patience, ur compliments, and for inviting me to ramble abt my favorite guy!

maybe the one constant in all trans people is just like. our decision to intentionally and purposefully create ourselves, to forced into an identity by outside forces and to turn away from it in search of something else, and that’s ultimately what makes captain yamato read as a trans character to me! He goes through so many identities, and they are meaningful to him, but you can also clearly tell that he’s searching for something that really fits him.

I don’t really have a lot of firm thoughts on what his specific identity would be, I’ve seen some great nonbinary yams, some lovely genderfluid yams, trans guy yams, there’s a great variety and i delight in them all! 

I tend to imagine him as transmasculine and nonbinary but male aligned (which means he’d feel at least a partial connection to or comfort with masculinity) and while there are a bunch of labels for this experience of gender (demiboy, bigender, etc etc) i don’t see him as somebody who would use any specific labels, I feel like he’d keep his own experience of his gender fairly private! He’d prefer and be fine with masculine-coded terms of address, and happy enough passing as a guy.

AHH and on names...

I think Kinoe is the only name that I really see as like. a genuine deadname. It’s a name that means “The First” to my understanding, and so like, probably refers to him having the genetics of the first. Therefore, it’s kind of. literally a name referring to him as his biology...boy thats as deadname as it gets, huh? kill that shit and also danzō

Tenzō is also a name thats given to him, but to my understanding (all I know about the anbu arc is picked up thru osmosis lol) it’s a name that’s given to him twice, with affection. Once from Yukimi, who sees him as her brother (not a vessel for the first hokage’s powers, probably for the first time ever—even if it’s still another person’s name) He takes the name, gladly! Unfortunately danzō. anyway,

Later, when he starts to introduce himself to the non-root Anbu as Kinoe, Kakashi cuts him off and names him to the anbu as Tenzō. To my understanding: it’s a name at rest, not a name for one singular mission, but a name for his entire time in Anbu. It’s the name he keeps the longest. Again, it’s a name that’s given to him to him by somebody else, but it’s one that is given with the intention to free him of Kinoe, and all that Kinoe had to be. 

(A note on him getting annoyed with Kakashi for calling him Tenzō in main-plot:

Most of this is of course based off of personal experience, but I find it hard to believe that he would actively dislike Tenzō as a name since it was given with such sweet intentions—most of my names have been gifts, and the only one I’ve actively taken out of rotation has been bc i cannot stand the person who used it, and the way it was used, and while Anbu was certainly bad for Yamato...I don’t think it was quite that bad. I think him telling Kakashi to stop calling him Tenzō has more to do with the use of it where it doesn’t belong—for example, while it’s not exactly a name, I am happy to be called “mokutone” here, and you may notice my friends calling me by another name, but if any of those friends called me mokutone in DMs, I would be bothered by that.)

Yamato starts off as an empty codename, given to him for the purposes of his team 7 mission by the Hokage, but I think it gets such a loving and warm association from just...using out in the sunlight, with these kids that he comes to think so fondly of (he’s such a dad. god. he’s such a fucking dad) and with the friends he makes going out drinking and actually having time to socialize—and that means a lot! I think Yamato is probably the name which becomes most meaningful and like a home to him by the end of the series. This is the active name, the name where he is most himself. It’s vital for him to have that space to grow into! 

But that said, I personally feel like, if he were to continue beyond the edges of the story, this would not be the final name he bears. He’s probably well aware that a single name cannot contain who he is, or who he wants to be, and while being Given a name can be a beautiful thing (like i said, most of my names are gifts! i treasure them.) I think that, for his character arc, I would like him to name himself at some point. Even if it’s a name that only exists for private spaces, I want him to complete that self determination, to at least try it out, even if ultimately Yamato is the name everyone else will know him by.

Physical Transition Stuff

i will confess i hurt to imagine these shinobi binding 😭😭 even if an individual is binding safely (well made binder, no more than 8 hours, AND No Physically Intense Activity) they stand to risk hurting themself! In real life we gotta balance out the physical pain and the pain of dysphoria, but this is naruto and I’m Gonna Play Some Headcanon Games!

If chakra is both a kind of spiritual energy as well as directly connected to the body (as we learned in the hyūga fight) then it stands to reason that by manipulating ones own chakra, they can manipulate the body, or at least the way the body changes (such as naruto’s healing factor) 

This probably is not the safest thing to do unless you’re a mednin or following the directions of one, LMAO

The second the hell of puberty started up for Tenzō he tried to hold it back by sheer force of willpower + chakra manipulation alone 

but, manually controlling one’s chakra is like trying to prevent a stream from flowing with your hands alone, which is to say: an exhausting uphill battle.

 He’d probably only be doing it on his down time and not on a mission, but even still the most I bet he could make it doing that without getting figured out is two months.

Luckily blockers are readily available, Tenzō just had no idea and, gender being a private experience for him, was trying to handle the whole thing entirely on his own. Soon after attempting to self-regulate hormones him-fucking-self like a very valid but desperate fool, he gets an appointment, gets a prescription, and can chill out and not have to be as hellishly aware of his body constantly.

 Konoha mednin will say trans rights even if the village itself is garbage, this series is so god damn weird already, nobody can tell me a ninja taking hormones is somehow weirder than a ninja taking his dead best friends genetic superpower eye.

TWO WEEKS, THREE SPARS, AND ONE VERY EMOTIONALLY DRAINING CONVERSATION LATER:

u might think kakashi is passing him a water bottle and they both look so exhausted bc its post spar but no. physically theyre fine, but the emotional toll of having to talk about something either of them care at all about? miracle they survived.

[therainroguebts]

Kingdom: Legendary War ep.7, no thoughts, just chan screaming Felix’s name like a concerned parent

- oh no I'm not looking forward to the global rankings bro

- I'm like 90% sure stray kids fans are all powerful and are gonna bump them up in the global ranking

- I FUCKING KNEW IT AHHHH

- well at least ateez is second!!

- please let ikon be one rank higher please I'm begging you

- ateez third place... the global viewers are stupid as fuck this is driving me crazy

- I'm happy for sk but I also hate it lmao poor ateez

- ahhhh shindong!! 17 years bro, wow Donghae too!

- Bobby is the only rapper in ikon? Oh God the pressure lol

- seeing rappers be so charismatic on the stage to being shy little beans when they meet each other is the most precious thing in the world

- look at Bobby making friends omg this is adorable

- bobby: wants to meet / them: cancels their schedule before he can finish his sentence

- Bobby the bunny 🐰🐇

- lmao never let Bobby set up the camera omg he totally broke that bitch

- I think the auto tune was a bad choice but I think it will still be dope

- they did so well!! 👏

- they haven't even fucking started yet but the rap unit of mayfly is off the charts they're gonna kill it

- MINKYUK TEASING CHAN IS MY NEW AESTHETIC

- and then minhyuk forgetting his own lyrics lol how is this man so relatable

- HONGJOON TAKING THE TEAM TO THE GRAMMYS WHETHER THEY WANT IT OR NOT LETS GOOOOO I'll get the car

- "We're going to eat now. Jealous?" GET THAT SHITTY LOOK OFF YOUR FACE CHANGBIN 😤 I am jealous bc I'm soooo hungry rn

- can we have a variety show where idols just go around to other agencies tasting their food? Lol

- dude their song is so lit 🔥 there's no way they're not gonna win!

- I WANT THAT SONG GIVE IT TO ME I will sell my first born for this fucking song please kingdom put your feckin shit on Spotify you bastards

- If they don't win.... I'm quitting

- YES I fucking knew they were gonna win it was just way too hype not to ahhhh I'm so proud

- I love how it just spoils the fucking dance unit members 🤣

- bro it's so awkward oh this is gonna be painful but DK is here and he's gorgeous so it's worth it 👌

- also they do not seem the same age at all lol

- I feel like I'm about to watch a period drama 👀 I wonder how it'll turn out. DK fighting!!

- bro I never thought I'd see the day where I was so captivated by a dance performance. I was silent the whole time and you know my loud ass never shuts up. Ahhh I'm worried for mayfly that performance was really feckin good

- as someone from the states where honorifics isn't a thing, I always feel strange when they make a big deal out of calling someone by their name. I understand that politeness is super important in Korea but my American side just doesn't understand. It's cute watching them lose their minds over it tho, unable to drop the formalities haha

- lol poor peniel, forced to be leader and everyone is looking up to him like toddlers asking their papa for milk

- I have high expectations for my boys, and they better bring it if they want to beat that drama performance

- duuude how is team mayfly so perfect 🥰 I am literally in love I want these boys as one group lol

- I just want to take a moment to complain. Idk if it's the site I'm using, my internet, or if the universe hates me but the video plays smoothly until I get to the feckin important part - THE PERFORMANCE and then it buffers every few seconds it's driving me insane and only does it during the performances UGH

- THE WAY BANG CHAN SAID FELIXS NAME AS IF HE WERE HIS DAD WARNING HIM NOT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID I CANT FUCKING BREATHE CALL 911

- THAT WAS AMAZING

- bro team mayfly might just get a triple crown omg 👑👑👑

- "mayflys journey ends here" "Who are you to decide when it ends?" FUCK HER UP PENIEL SHE DONT KNOW SHIT once a team, always a team 👊🏻 brothers (wolves) for life!💯

- (mayfly will live on it our hearts) yes it fucking will 😭💙

- oh fuck you for the cliffhanger kingdom you bastards 😤 you know it leaves me emotionally drained and i have to take a break! Ahhhhh

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Wow, this latest BAT chapter made me emotional. When I got into Hypmic, I didn't expect it to be so dark; it's hard to imagine a series that talks about family issues, trauma, depression, etc. also has lyrics like, "GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG GOOBY GOOBY GOO!" XD Thanks to everybody for your hard work! <3 I was wondering if you/the team are okay with the content? It never bothers you? Idk why I'm concerned haha but I don't want you to be stuck translating something that makes you uncomfy. Take care :)

Answers from the team members who were online at the time:

Ray: i was a little emotional shaken by [DH/BAT 5] tbh staring at jyushi crying and writing the awful stuff the characters were saying to him  was so [broken heart emoji]. i think w tsting the distance from what is on the content of the pages is a bit.. bc u have to be very cautious w what is being said whos saying it how theyre saying it etc 

Suwa: hifumi was spitting bars wdym. all i feel is rage whenever i see iyogis face i hate that bitch so much, but like? the content is ok lol you dont rlly feel anything after staring at the same page for 3 hours a day to try and fill in the screentones

Aura: I can't say it "bothers" me, but all the trauma causes damage to my mental health, like I had depression for two or three months after Fling Posse's before the 2nd rap battle album released But I'm totally ok with it since I love to see their bonds and friendship, I really enjoy the fact that they all found a family for themselves So I'll be ok 

Mora: me personally i think the content is poggers. i usually just clean and try to guess what's going on. sometimes i tell slug my interpretation of the chapter. [And they are the best interpretations - Slug]

Ren: It makes me sad to see a character go through that kind of manipulation and trauma but it doesn't bother me to work on it because as a cleaner it's my job. I'm pretty thick-skinned. 

Utsura: I think that the material is very good at invoking an emotional response when I'm in the moment, but I'm good at compartmentalizing the events in the material so it doesn't affect my mental health outside of when I'm directly engaged w the media. Like I have issues w listening to School of IKB & Stella bc they make me emotional, but i won't deny they are super good & i appreciate them. [Here Ray said, “ i think they mean how it affects us when ur directly working on it :0″] OH LMAO LIKE IK WHATS GOING ON WHEN I CLEAN. I'm usually too busy swearing at screentones to process. Even then, i look at the art on a very objective level, so I'm moreso analyzing how composition will illicit an emotional response & stuff.

Slug: Like Utsura says, I approach text more from an analytical standpoint than from anything else most of the time. It’s not like reading a book where I experience it passively - I’m actively thinking, “What is the purpose of this? What emotions are the characters feeling, and how does this text and this art combined create an emotional response in the reader? What can I do to create these emotional responses in English readers?” and so on. Because there’s that distraction factor, I’m not usually bothered by any of the content, even when some of the situations hit close to home. I remember that BB/MTC chapter 7′s war scene was uncomfortable to work on because it dragged painful memories up to the surface and put me back in an older mindset for a couple of days. But for the most part, that doesn’t happen. I’m very lucky that my few experiences with bullying didn’t affect me in the slightest, so none of the DH/BAT content is emotionally draining for me.

Thank you for your concern!