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herohotline · 5 years ago

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Can I please have a Shigaraki who's dating a male s/o that's part of the LoV but has to break it off because of All For One disapproving (either bc he's homophobic or thinks the s/o is too moral or doesn't want Shigaraki to be distracted from his goal)? Maybe with the s/o trying to leave bc they don't want to get Tomura in any trouble while Shigaraki insists that he should stay??? Sorry if it's too specific

A/N: yes yes yes! I hope that I wrote this well- I’m not sure how I feel abt it just yet, so I suppose the notes will tell me if it’s good or not! Might rewrite and try again if it doesn’t hit. It’s not exactly what you requested, i’ll admit, but it has some elements??? So if I have to rewrite it one day then that’s okay jfdhgjg

— — —

What made you fall in love with a man like Shigaraki? On the outside, he was villainous, cold, immature, and harsh. A man like Shigaraki fights very hard to be in control and not let anyone come close to him- but things have a tendency to happen naturally over working with each other over a long period of time.

Though he doesn’t show it often, he cares for the entire League. It might be minimal, and his way of caring for others might be a little twisted and considered abnormal, but Shigaraki has his own way of doing a lot of things. And even if it wasn’t the way that people normally loved friends and family- at least he still cared for the League at all.

And he cared for you, too.

It was hard to tell at first, especially since your relationship started out rocky. You weren’t the most evil type- you had fallen into the villain category over reasons of ‘justice’ rather than ‘revenge’ or even just a thirst for blood. You didn’t like the feeling or thought of hurting innocent people- and that’s why you didn’t attack the innocent.

You helped the League when you felt it was right to do so. You wanted justice- you wanted society to change and be a more fair, even world for everyone to live in. And if this was the way to do it… then this is the way you would do it. But only when your heart found it just to do so.

Shigaraki was disgusted by you at the start. The fact that you sounded like a typical, roundabout hero from around the block made him despise you. But his feelings about you were trivial since All for One thought you were essential to their cause because of your tactical thinking and useful quirk. Shigaraki’s feelings about you were negatively intense, but nothing that would make you run away.

Though he hated you, you never hated Shigaraki. You could tell right after meeting the League leader that this man- this boy- was wildly manipulated and truly naive. He was being used. You knew you couldn’t change this- you couldn’t help him, not with the way things are right now. But the least you could do was treat him fairly even when he spit in your direction.

Eventually, he asked with an angry tone why you didn’t lash out on him. Why were you always so calm? Why won’t you at least fight back?

You told him that you weren’t here to make more enemies than you needed to. You said that you didn’t want to be enemies with him, but allies.

He rolled his eyes at your answer, saying that you were already allies, whether he liked it or not. But you noticed how he changed his tune around you after that. The two of you became closer from everything you experienced in the League- all the missions, all the close calls, all the trials and tribulations.

It was a rush of pure adrenaline after a successful raid against heroes that made you kiss Shigaraki for the first time- and you were lucky this even worked, considering his face was usually covered by dead hands. He was, of course, caught off guard and somehow offended that you would do such a thing. The kiss only lasted a second before he jumped away from you and cursed at you for being disgusting and disrespectful to your leader.

Such a harsh rejection would have discouraged you if you didn’t already know how Shigaraki worked. You knew, that once he had time to let what you did sink in, he’d either reject you normally or hopefully come and accept your advances.

Which- he sort of did. Quietly at night, he sneaked into your room, and basically told you he had no idea what your intentions were- what his intentions were. He didn’t know a thing about romance, especially anything about romance with another man, and he doesn’t like not knowing things.

(This was a summary of what he said to you- the actual version of it had a lot more petty insults, sarcastic comments, and harsh words mixed in)

That same night, in order to help him understand, you told him your feelings for him and how to kiss someone. You taught him everything you could about what love and affection feels like- what it looks like. And over the course of that night, the two of you secretly grew closer.

It took a few months until Shigaraki eventually stopped caring about the anxiety of being with another person. After kissing you, loving you, and feeling at least somewhat confident in your relationship, it wasn’t really a secret from the League anymore.

The League reacted in an expected way. No one cared that the two of you were men- some of them had already figured out you were together, and others just didn’t care (also known as Dabi). After that, it was a common sight to see the two of you kissing, your hand wrapped around Shigaraki, or having him sit on your lap. Shigaraki really could care less about being worried over PDA- he was too touch starved to care, really. Not like you minded at all- you were just happy to be with him and provide your leader and lover with comfort and a stable person to rely on.

Throughout your relationship, it wasn’t uncommon for you to try and pry things from him if he was willing. It took a lot of coaxing, a lot of convincing, but eventually, he began to open up. And you loved him even more for it.

One evening after you had slept together, you got into the topic of his hands that he wore. “Why do you wear them?” You asked. It was a simple enough question.

“Because I have to,” he replied.

“Why?”

“Because… Because I have to,” he said again, as if confused that wasn’t a good enough answer. As you often did, you tried to elaborate for him to get him to understand what you meant.

“Well… how do they make you feel, when you wear them? What do they do?”

Surprisingly, Shigaraki actually thinks about his answer as he taps his fingers on your naked chest. “…They keep my mind dark. Focused. They remind me of what I’ve done, and what I need to do. They ground me… to the past.”

You hum at his answer, one of your hands moving to stroke and play with his strands of light colored hair. “…And how do you feel without them?”

“Like I can breathe,” he says much quicker this time. “Like I can see what’s right in front of me. Without the hands… I don’t feel as heavy.”

“And isn’t that better?” You ask him, quietly in his ear as you look into his eyes. “Isn’t this better?”

After that night, he begins to wear the hands around his face, throat, and arms less and less. He begins to think clearly like he couldn’t before- it’s almost as if the longer he lives without them, the more he becomes a different kind of person. Granted, he’s more anxious than before, but he’s also more empathetic, considerate, and puts more time and thought into his plans with the League instead of acting hasty and impatient.

And this development doesn’t go unnoticed by All for One.

All For One… Technically, you were hired by him, and technically, you were a villain. But you never liked that man. He seemed to so easily manipulate those around him, including Shigaraki, and it was clear that he was evil to his very core.

He did not fight heroes and cause chaos for anything other than the sake of doing it. He didn’t do it for a sense of justice, personal gain, revenge…

All for One loved to create chaos and he loved to be in the eye of the storm, plain and simple.

And the fact that you were ruining his plans, ruining his problem child who was doing all the dirty work for him- the fact that you were corrupting his broken mind with morals and a sense of ease- well, All for One didn’t like that at all.

All for One, though, wasn’t one for simply showing up at the bar you hid out in, giving out orders. He worked a bit more slyly than that, of course. So, instead, he had a private conference over his little television and intercom with Shigaraki when no one else was around.

When you weren’t around.

“How are things going? I’ve noticed you haven’t made any moves against the heroes recently…” His voice is smooth and even, his broken face shadowed and hidden by the darkness in the room. “Is there anything else you need?” He offers.

Shigaraki stares at the screen in front of him clearly. He isn’t wearing the hands of past regrets like usual- and it gives him an uneasy feeling not to wear them in front of his master. “No, things are running smoothly, for once. We’re just trying to figure out the best way to-“

“We?” All for One interrupts. “Have you started feeling more comfortable with your teammates now? You used to be so stubborn about them…” He chuckles, a dry and halfhearted chuckle that makes Shigaraki inhale shakily.

“They’ve been doing their job,” he says. “It’s better now that we’re all working together. I didn’t like it, but I’ve realized I can’t accomplish our goal all by myself. I need to work harder than that.”

All for One nods. “And how did you come to realize this?”

“Does it matter?” Shigaraki deflects, and his eyes fall away from the screen.

“Will you not answer my question?”

“…My teammates helped me realize this, master. I’m sorry.” The young man frowns as he sees from the minimal light on All for One’s side that his lips break into a grin.

“…___. That is who you mean.” He says knowingly. Shigaraki quickly opens his mouth but his master holds up his hand, making him silent. “I have seen what he’s been doing to you. I think it’s time we had a discussion about our dear ___.”

A cold feeling crawls up Shigaraki’s back, and suddenly he wishes he had his hands- they would cover his face, hide the fact that he’s almost scared right now. But why should he be scared? There’s no reason. How irrational. “What is there to discuss? He’s a good member.”

“Surely, you think so. But he has been corrupting you, young boy. I think it’s time we considered… letting go of him.”

Killing him.

There’s a sense of panic filling Shigaraki as he realizes this, but he can’t show it to All for One. He knows that wouldn’t be wise- he can’t speak too quickly, he can’t act too emotionally. As evenly as he can, he tries to object. “I can’t be so easily corrupted, master. We still need his powers, we can’t-“

“No, I think you can, Tomura.” All for One’s voice raises for the first time during the entire call. It’s minuscule, but Shigaraki hears it. “He has been corrupting you with his mind and his body. He’s been using you, and I cannot allow such things to happen to you. You are too important, Tomura- so you must dispose of him.” The man sighs deeply at Shigaraki’s silence, slowly continuing with a deeper tone. “I am worried for you, Tomura. I only want what is best for you.”

…Does he?

Shigaraki frowns. “Yes, master. I know- I just need to think it over.” He bows slightly at the screen. “I’ll talk to you again soon.”

For the first time, Shigaraki ends the call first, and that action alone has him feel a sense of empowerment.

If you really were changing him, Shigaraki has a feeling that it’s probably for the better. Besides… This is his organization. All for One said as much- he can do as he pleases.

And that means you’re not going anywhere . Not while he can do something about it.

——

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Tomura,” You look up at Shigaraki as you lie on your bed. There’s a comic book in your hands as you hold it over your head, your hair messy and knotted from lying on the pillows. Shigaraki observes you silently from your doorway until he walks toward you, toeing off his sneakers before he falls onto your bed and next to you.

You laugh as he tosses and turns until he’s got his head on your chest, looking up at the comic you’re holding. His hands are carefully placed around you in fists, as they usually are when he wants to cuddle with you. “What’s up, Tomura?” You nuzzle your cheek against his shaggy hair and flip a page in your comic.

Shigaraki realizes that he likes it when you say his first name. He was hesitant and felt odd letting you know it at first, and letting you even say it was another hurdle in itself. But after talking with All for One- he likes how you say his name much more than how his master does.

“…Nothing.” He says. “…Where’d you get this?”

“The comic? Twice snatched it for me when him and Toga were raiding for supplies nearby. It was sweet of him to think of me, but I think you’ll like it too.” You look down at him as much as you can, but the position is a little awkward and you can only barely meet his eyes. “Want me to start from the beginning?”

“No,” Shigaraki says and looks back up at the pages. It’s around the middle of the story, not much is left. “Looks like it’s getting interesting.”

You hum and flip another page. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty good where it is right now.”

His arms wrap around you a little tighter as he hums. He agrees with you silently, making his decision without you even knowing what he was deciding as you flip another page.

Things are good right now. Why change that?

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kuronekonerochan · 5 years ago

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The laziest compilation of thoughts about the mess that was Alice (spoilers)

I finish a lot of shitty dramas. Like a lot. I could review them, but I won’t bc there’s too many and I’m too lazy (when you ff some dramas from 45min to 5 per episode it doesn’t really count as watching too many dramas bc it’s really a commercial break, lol). Some I watch for the so bad it’s good content, or love hate watching or just to have something to watch while I eat, even if they’re boring af. It’s also a tiny bit of ocd bc I need to see how they end (even the ones I drop I check out the finale). I only drop the ones that as Marie Kondo says *Do Not Spark Joy, more specifically...annoy me and make me cranky.

I sometimes bitch about it on DMs with ranty spoilers without structure and that reference other unrelated dramas or shows, because ADHD and my mind refuses to stay on topic, which would make it probably unintelligible except if you are in the niche who happens to have watched the other unrelated dramas, so it’s probably useless as a review.

That said, here are some random disconnected thoughts about Alice.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS BEWARE

(this is like partly copypaste of DM rants bc I am that lazy biatch. Also, fair warning I will seem super harsh or this drama because that’s the thing about a bitching dm versus a proper review... I am not bringing up all the points and talking about the good and what I liked as well as the bad, it’s just the bad...and although the drama is imo a mess, it does have some good in it. So if it were a review I’d always argue pros and cons...ranty thoughs who cares about pros? boring..I will not be bothered with devil’s advocate).

This was fascinating to watch, interesting but not good... but like a trainwreck.

I continued watching this mess despite the headache inducing convoluted plot (I watched a lot of timetravel stuff and I love it...encompassing all the theories about it, from butterfly effect, to effectively changing the future (with characters forgetting it or keeping it in memory because “eye of the storm” theory, the “efforts are futile and you can try to change it but the future is set in stone”, to “small changes can be made but big events are fixed points in time”, to “every change creates a new time line” and multiverse, etc... and trust me, all of them can be done well when well written or turn out a confusing illogical mess and that has nothing to do with the theory chosen, but with presenting how time travel works for that story and what the basic rules are and sticking to them...or when something happens that contradicts them, come up with an explanation as to why that happens.

I don’t mean the drama should be an exposition borefest with too much pseudosciency jargon...but this drama gives you too little in the way of rules and the viewers sort of figure out how timetravel works (which is not bad per se, huge fan of show don’t tell...but there’s a limit to how much they cannot tell or the characters chose not to ask just for the sake of plot and not without any logic to it). Anyways, the little “rules” that we gather along the way...the writing doesn’t stick to them and keeps contradicting itself without addressing or explaining it and hoping we’re so confused we don’t notice. Some dramas you just say “eh, forget it, it doesn’t make sense, let’s turn off our brains and enjoy it”, but here if I wanted to try and follow what was going on at all it required “brain on” mode for their convoluted plot twists...which also made me aware of so may plotholes the time road should have looked like Swiss Cheese. I could go into them...but I cannot be bothered and the list would be extensive and still incomplete, so I will just put 3 here bc I can’t help it:

1) Hot Daddy with emotional turmoil the entire drama of “Oh no, I abandoned her in 92 and regretted it, it happened 1 year ago for me, and now I find out she died in 2010. How was she, did she suffer? What did she know? Oh god, if only I were a time traveler eventually going rogue who could show up and talk to her any time in the timeline between 92 and 2010...Alas, I have to live in misery with the consequences of my actions...there is just ABSOLUTELY no way of solving this. I guess I’ll just keep making unauthorized time travel journeys from 2050′s time agency back to the year of 2020 and only 2020 to constantly be blindsided by murder attempts on everyone everywhere without having a clue to what’s going on when I could simply go back to before 2010 and talk to the one person who is proven to know what is going on.” Here is where there could be a bullshit reason as to why he could go only go to 2020 and not before, but the drama didn’t even bother.

2) They say Tae Yi’s mom was originally a time traveler who settled with her physicist dad in the past, eventually making way for her to discover time travel herself. The mom is missing and this is never addressed again.

3) The book...who wrote it? Because I have guesses but they never outright answer it... and if the biatch author knew that stuff why the alice in wonderland stupid analogies?

Coward, or petty, or both.... or maybe just a chaos gremlin godlike entity who wanted to watch them all squirm, like the author from Extraordinary You...and that I could get behind, but sadly they don’t go that metaphysical/theological with the plot...which is honestly the main problem with this drama. It seems ambitious in concept but it’s never explored decently in any way, not in the pseudoscience, not in the philosophical sense of the meaning of time/space/existence, not even in its relationships, with the constant back and forth and weirdness of it.

Besides the timetravel migraine, we had the weirdest directing, that made the relationship between the leads feel a bit too incesty...which was the main reason I kept watching this drama...morbid curiosity of how they wrapped up this mess of a plot AND especially the relationship payoff...would it keep being weird with trope romance drama scenes like the female lead and second female lead facing off and being jealous, or that weird hair washing that felt more sensual than maternal? I knew it wouldn’t happen but my inner chaos gremlin wanted kdramaland to grow some balls and go full “predestination: oedipus edition” with this mess. Alas they sort of did, mostly didn’t. Even that angle was a whole inconsistent mess: there were times where it felt too romantic, then for a short minute I misguidedly shipped the journalist friend, then it seemed the dude was ace, then they calmed their tits with the whole weird romantic vibes and it got platonic cute, then with the memory merge thing finally motherly vibes, then I shipped the journalist again for 1 sec only...and then the ending:

Alice ended with the lead solving every problem by shooting himself (technically) in the head...and that's the second meta perfectly fitting ending for a drama with a good cast and terrible writing that drove itself into a corner this year, after the sleepless princess ended with the leads jumping off a cliff. I don't think it's a self aware choice of the writers, or an admission that they themselves know it was bad, but the irony is delicious.

Spoiler for the ending: he undoes timey wimey stuff from when his mom first got killed in high school and closed the time travel door. So he became an architect and new Tae Yi just woke up in her bed remembering everything, but in reality she had just come back from a conference abroad and had never met him. So mom TaeYi didn't die then, but never got back on screen after the time undo so who the f knows what happened to her.

Also, if new Tae Yi remembers, does that mean hot daddy from the future does as well, but he is just stuck in the future without a time door to ever see them again? The drama doesn’t care answering that and forgets his character is even a thing...I will miss you, my fave who looked emotionally and literally constipated 24/7 (it doesn’t care answering much at all tbf... a little known fact about the time travel paradoxes according to the physics of this world is that besides doppelganger chickenpox it induces severe lazy writing).

Anyways new Tae Yi went looking for architect (? okay...I guess) ML after she woke up, at first he didn't remember her, but it ends with him meeting her, apparently remembering her and they stare at each other... you know, like any bad traditional romantic kdrama finale....so there is still THAT vibe.

Honestly, the usual romantic ballad score for scenes between the leads WAS NOT the most intelligent choice for this drama in specific but boy did they stick with it (not to mention the ending song... that goes, in english “we be like Bonnie and Clyde we ride or die...which...k, sure)...so technically the ending was exactly the cliche post amnesia running back to each other and staring for the final scene while romantic music blasts trope. Take it as you will.

#alice #sbs alice #kdrama #mine #kdrama edit #kdrama rant #kdrama rambles #sleepless princess #cdrama #just the reference tho #alice kdrama #alice sbs

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ninastarkov · 5 years ago

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Ahsoka and the clones:

Rex and Ahsoka edition

Part 2

Hey guys! This is the third post in a series about Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones (here’s the one on ahsoka and the clones, minus Rex and ahsoka). I talk about what we know in canon/what’s reasonably predicted off that, what the fandom has decided, and my own takes.

It might make more sense to read my part 1 post before this one, for an analysis of their friendship in the movie through season 3! On this one I’ll go through seasons 4, 5 and 7, though obviously season 7 will have the most. Anyway, here we go!

Referencing my last post, I see them as going from mentor-student to friends and equals to family. I’ve established them as equals by the end of season 3–Ahsoka has grown a lot from that snippy 14 year old padawan, and Rex has grown to trust her. By the end of season 7 I see them as found family (i’m sorry found family is just. my favorite.)

Season 4

Ok, Ahsoka and Rex pretty much don’t interact AT ALL in season 4. But...umbara. Though Ahsoka isn’t actually present for umbara, her (and anakin’s) influence on the 501st, and the contrast between them and krell, is clear to see. I think his relationship with Anakin has just as much of an impact with what happened on umbara, but since this post is about Rex and ahsoka i’m not going to focus on Anakin.

Also WOW umbara is long but I like the points I made so get ready:

Rex has spent the whole war under Anakin, and most of it under Ahsoka. Anakin can get angry and Ahsoka can be immature especially early on and they’re both headstrong idiots sometimes, but they’re good people who care deeply for their troops. Krell is everything Anakin and Ahsoka are not. The relationship that Rex has with them is part of what makes it so hard for him to go against Krell (the other, probably bigger part being his conditioning into seeing Jedi as authority figures to always follow). Ahsoka has shown that she’s willing to die for them, with the geonosis mission, and that she mourns their deaths, with ryloth. And while not explicitly shown in canon, most of us agree that she tries to connect with her troops. Krell shares none of these traits that Rex has gotten used to seeing in his Jedi. Rex believes that the Jedi are good, and trusts them to make hard decisions to get to victory. Krell breaks this trust, and I have to think that this would have long-term consequences on his relationships with Jedi in general, and Anakin and ahsoka specifically. We aren’t shown the aftermath of umbara in the show (which is one of my biggest complaints but,, off topic), but we can’t expect such a fundamental break in trust to not have its effect on all of the 501st and their Jedi. I would say that Ahsoka probably had to build up a lot of trust (that had previously existed between them) with Rex again after umbara. And since their relationship in the show doesn’t seem to change much afterward, I could guess that Ahsoka spent a lot of time trying to help Rex and the 501st cope and trust their Jedi again (also, I’ve read some fics about ahsoka helping the troopers through the aftermath of umbara and now I believe that had to have happened for their relationship to return to what it was before).

So, at least in my opinion, after umbara Rex is less likely to place complete trust in ahsoka (though he probably hates that he can’t). Also, remember me talking about them being equals by now? Yeah, another thing Krell breaks. Ahsoka sees Rex as an equal, though technically she outranks him. She looks past the rank and sees the person (the person with more experience than her). Krell is, again, the opposite. He literally sees clones as fundamentally inferior to himself, and that dehumanization that Rex faced had to have had an effect on his own self-worth. Being constantly degraded by a figure that Rex thinks he’s supposed to see as an authority to follow, probably means that afterward his own sense of self-worth would have gone down significantly—nevermind the guilt he feels over waiting to take action against Krell. So, though Ahsoka still sees Rex as an equal, it’s complicated for Rex. For one, he’s lost trust in the Jedi, so the respect towards ahsoka purely because of her Jedi status is diminished. On the other hand, I think his opinion of himself has gone down. It’s a complicated dynamic, now. However, by this point in the war, I really think that Rex and ahsoka see each other as family (I see Ahsoka’s family including Rex and some of the older 501st like Jesse and Kix and anyone can Fight Me On This but ANYWAY). As fellow soldiers or even friends, I think the trust between them would have been permanently damaged. But as family, Rex knows ahsoka, knows that even though he’s lost some faith in the Jedi, she will never be like Krell, or even other Jedi like Quinlan Vos who aren’t literally evil but aren’t good towards the clones either. And on Ahsoka’s side, she’s going to do anything she can to help her family through the aftermath of umbara, even as a Jedi.

I think most of the aftermath is resolved between umbara and Onderon, but zygerria was. there. Rex and obi wan were slaves for an unknown amount of time. This part hurts, but I would guess that in Rex’s time there he was forced to confront some hard truths about the role of the clones in the war. They’re all proud to fight for the republic, but that doesn’t change the fact that they don’t have a choice. I think this also sets the stage for that big conversation between Rex and ahsoka after maul is captured in season 7 (“we clones have mixed feelings about the war”), where they discuss their own feelings about the war and how it’s affected them. (Also I know that most of what I just said is about Rex and not really ahsoka, but his changing viewpoints are really important in their dynamic).

Season 5

By Onderon, I think Rex and Ahsoka’s relationship is mostly back to normal (equals), and any trust lost has been repaired (not counting Rex’s permanent disillusionment(?) with the Jedi). It’s literally only them plus Anakin and obi wan oh the mission, and it seems like they’re having a good time (as much as you can in a war zone). I point out Onderon because it’s the last time they’re together before the Wrong Jedi arc.

And now...the wrong Jedi. Hearing that Ahsoka killed clones during her escape HAD to have shaken Rex. A lot. There was definitely a moment where he thought back to umbara and Krell. But Rex also chased ahsoka outside the prison, and saw that she did nothing to harm the people coming after her—in fact, went out of her way to avoid it. I think Rex was definitely struggling with himself here—his experiences with Krell would have him believe that ahsoka is capable of this, but his bond with her would have him think the opposite. Overall, in my opinion there was a moment when Rex believed it to be true (due to umbara), but I think he would have rejected the idea relatively quickly because he knows ahsoka (they’re FAMILY and she wouldn’t hurt his brothers!).

Then ahsoka is cleared but leaves the Jedi. Leaves the 501st. I don’t think that she talks to Rex or any Jedi after she leaves the temple, which means she’s out of contact for months. Rex gets a second hand account of what happened through Anakin, and knowing anakin’s anger and pain over the situation, I can’t imagine he wanted to talk about it much. So Rex probably gets told that ahsoka was cleared but isn’t coming back. (Honestly I really don’t know how this would go down but i’m leaning towards an angry Anakin giving as little explanation as possible because he doesn’t want to talk about it). Add this to what I talked about in my first post on ahsoka and the clones, how maul gleans from Jesse that the Jedi abandoned her—meaning this was Jesse’s view of what happened—this probably means that her family in the 501st blamed the council for abandoning her and didn’t blame her for leaving. This also fits with the welcome she recieves in season 7. So even though Ahsoka left, Rex still holds the same respect for her (or more, even), and still considers her family. And even though ahsoka felt she had to leave the Jedi, I doubt she ever blamed the troopers for coming after her, so she still sees Rex as family.

Season 7

Skipped season six since...no ahsoka, obviously. Just keep in mind Fives’ arc (😭😭). Also, Anakin changes. He’s still a good person, a good general, but i’m assuming Rex notices he’s more angry and a little more distant than before. They all miss their favorite padawan commander :((

NOW, Old Friends Not Forgotten:

the LOOK on Ahsoka’s face when she sees all the troopers with their helmets painted...*single tear*. Rex looks so happy to see her, and of course ahsoka is glad to see him too, but there’s clearly a large part of her that’s shocked she’s getting such a warm welcome. I think she was worried that the Rex and the troopers would think she abandoned them (and a part of herself thinks that as well). But obviously, Rex doesn’t feel that way (“you don’t have to call me commander anymore” “ok, commander”). And the helmet paint!! You can tell Rex is worried she won’t like it bc he says something like “oh the paint job is a bit messy but we hope we got the point across.” But of course ahsoka understands they’re trying to honor her, and is grateful. AND! Armor painting is such an important way for all the clones to show their individuality, and they gave that up for her (even if Rex and Jesse went back to their original paint). And back to that little moment where he calls her commander—ahsoka says “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” I think this was her guilt at leaving showing itself, and hints to us that she thinks she’s not worthy of that title. This may be more of a stretch, but she didn’t say “i’m not a commander anymore,” she said “you don’t have to call me commander anymore.” Maybe there’s some larger guilt about her role in a republic that doesn’t care for the ones that fight and die for it. Also a stretch but I think this alludes to the fact that they see each other as equals—though technically ahsoka was a commander and Rex a captain, they were a team. Now that Ahsoka’s no longer part of the GAR, Rex doesn’t have to call her commander, doesn’t have to keep to the strict rules of authority. Instead he can have her back as a friend, as family. And when Rex calls her commander anyway, it shows his continued respect for her, not because he has to respect her as a superior and Jedi, but because she’s earned his respect through her actions.

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, Rex smiles more in this one episode than probably the entire rest of the show combined?!? We get the small happy moments, when Ahsoka doesn’t need a jetpack and races Rex to the ground (and he LAUGHS—i’m pretty sure that the only time Rex has actually laughed was in the movie in response to ahsoka, and in that ep). And once they reach mandalore, “some things never change”—they’ve returned immediately to their old dynamic. Honestly I think that one line sums up a lot of their relationship in season 7 and afterward, all the way to rebels. They may spend a lot of time apart (15 YEARS WHY), but they will always be family—that will never change.

This part is based on a picture from the ep I saw once, never to be found again (and I tried looking through the old friends ep but I can’t find the shot where you can see this), but i’m pretty sure there’s one moment in one of the episodes where you can see tally marks on Ahsoka’s bracers. She HAD to have picked that up from Rex, idk I just thought it was a nice thing to point out (unless I’m remembering the image wrong lol in that case ignore this paragraph).

Next, after Ahsoka meets with the council and doesn’t tell them about what Maul said about Anakin. Rex calls her out on it, and she doesn’t give a reason why she didn’t, but we can all guess. Anakin is probably the person she is closest to, and is the reason that she didn’t believe Maul’s claims. She probably didn’t want to tell anyone about what Maul said, because she would never believe Anakin would fall (😭). But she told Rex. This is a HUGE example of how much she trusts him, because she trusted him with this terrible information about her closest family. The only other person she had planned to talk to was Anakin, obviously. Yes, part of the reason why she didn’t tell the council was because she knew they could be...less than sensible...at times when they suspected a Jedi of using the dark side, like with her farce of a trial. (Sidenote, when Mace calls ahsoka “citizen” and Rex makes a face lol). I just. This is probably one of my favorite moments with them of the whole show? The amount of trust Ahsoka has to have in Rex to tell him that Anakin is being groomed to be a Sith Lord. I want to connect this back to all those years ago on Maridun(?) with aayla and Bly, when she trusts Rex to stay behind with injured Anakin while she goes with everyone else to find help. Ahsoka has trusted Rex with Anakin from basically the beginning, and such a long time of trust is necessary for her to tell him about Maul’s words.

Ok, now we have what you’ve been dreading waiting for...Shattered. Right before the Horrible Moment, Ahsoka gets a sort-of vision about what’s up in coruscant with Anakin and palpatine—and her immediate reaction is to run to Rex to tell him about it. Again, TRUST. There’s not even a second thought about whether to tell him or not, showing that Rex is the one person she feels she can always confide in. Of course, she doesn’t get to tell him.

First off, there were two things that saved ahsoka. One was her bond with Rex, that bought her time to react, which is what I’ll talk about. The other was Rex’s knowledge of what happened to fives and the chips. I’m not going to discuss that much in this post but just disclaimer that I view that as just as important in her survival (I think @gffa made a post on these two things which I wholly agree with and i’m sorry if i’m wrong and it was someone else that made that post!!)

Anyway. After the original Wrinkly Old Man tells Rex to execute the order, Rex is able to fight it for long enough to buy Ahsoka time to prepare, and give her the information that will save both of their lives (“Find him...Fives!”). You can see that he’s fighting so hard against the order, though in the end it wins out. He turns to face Ahsoka and he’s CRYING!!! I don’t have much analysis here because what happens in the show really says it all—ahsoka is his family, he doesn’t want to kill her. But once the chip takes over, Rex is gone.

On Ahsoka’s end, of course she knows something’s up. She knows Rex would never try to kill her, even if he was ordered to. That one line she says to Maul when she sets him free says everything about how lost she is (the clones turned against me. Even Rex.”). The latter statement isn’t meant for maul, since of course he doesn’t know much about Rex or their friendship (besides what he may have gotten from Jesse). This is all ahsoka trying to figure out what the hell was happening—because she could believe the clones turned against her, maybe. After her trial, after Brain Invaders, it’s probably easier to. But even Rex. Going back to what I said about the wrong Jedi arc, I think that Rex believed ahsoka to be innocent. Even in that arc, Rex was on her side. But this time, he wasn’t.

And then ahsoka finds out about fives and the chips. The holo of her that one of the droids plays to Rex before they knock him out makes me so sad. Ahsoka had to know that the Rex that was under the order wouldn’t listen to what she was saying in the holo, so i’m thinking that (besides a distraction) her words were meant for Rex to remember after the removed his chip—one more reassurance that it wasn’t his fault.

And here’s my thoughts on the chanting “I am one with the force and the force is with me,” as they try to find the chip in Rex’s head. Ahsoka had to have created some kind of connection between them for him to be saying these words with her—while unconscious AND still under the order. I know next to nothing about force bonds and the technical stuff, but it seems that a likely explanation for the chanting together is that some kind of connection was created between them in the force. Into the world of wild speculation, this could mean that Rex is more force sensitive than the average guy? Even if it was a temporary connection, it would make sense that Rex would have to feel the force somehow in order to connect with ahsoka to say the mantra. (Not sure I actually believe this but...putting it out there)

Once his chip gets removed and Ahsoka asks if he’s okay, Rex calls her “kid” again. I point this out because it’s definitely been a while since he’s called her anything but commander—probably out of a place of respect. But his first instinct after the chip is out is to call her “kid.” This was partially for reassurance that he’s back, because a Rex still affected by the chip wouldn’t call her kid. I also want to say though, that his first instinct is to call her kid, not commander, because he sees her as family first. And then when he has to tell her that every single clone is chipped, he calls her ahsoka (I think for the first time ever??). They’re far, far beyond their normal roles as captain and commander, and this reflects that. I also wonder if Rex realizes that ahsoka would hate to be called commander right now, after being forced to hurt the troops she has always tried to protect.

Aaaaand then they try to escape only to find the hangar filled with all the troopers, Jesse leading them. Ouch. Rex cries AGAIN (can any of us handle it? no.). He tells ahsoka that all of the clones, his brothers, only care about killing them—they don’t care if they die trying. Rex sounds so angry in this moment and for a second ahsoka looks surprised, but then she realizes how Rex is feeling and they have a Sad Moment when she takes his helmet off. There’s a moment when he visibly deflates as ahsoka seems to realize what he’s really feeling. And yeah, he turns away once his helmet is off, but he let her take his helmet off and see him cry. I feel like Rex has always been the person that’s strong for others, and doesn’t like to show his own vulnerability. Throughout the show he’s always been a steadying presence for others, whether it’s with ahsoka or fives or someone else. Even on umbara, he doesn’t let himself fall apart. But he lets ahsoka see that here. In his relationships with others, Rex almost always has to be the authority, the one who keeps calm in the face of everything. But with him and ahsoka, they can be equals—they can show their uncertainty and sadness. The only other person we see Rex really be honest with like this is Cody, in the bad batch arc when Rex talks about how he’s watched so many brothers die, and Cody says “it’s hard being the one that survives.” Cody and Ahsoka are the only people that have seen this side of Rex, because he trusts them more than anyone, and feels he doesn’t always have to be strong in front of them.

Then ahsoka says “you’re a good soldier, Rex.” I can’t NOT connect this to “good soldiers follow orders,” and Fives’ death. I don’t think ahsoka knows all about the “good soldiers follow orders,” but she knows Rex. She knows that Rex has always tried to be the good soldier, has been taught that following orders is everything, but has also grown so much over the course of the war (from meeting Cut to going through umbara to watching fives die). He’s grown into a person that realizes sometimes he has to make his own decisions, even if that doesn’t fit with the orders he’s been given. She gives him the reassurance that, despite everything, he’s still the person that he wants to be. Ahsoka sees through the anger he puts up, because of course he doesn’t want to kill his brothers, but it isn’t them anymore and what else are they supposed to do?

Once they are forced to fight the rest of the troopers in the hangar, it’s obvious that ahsoka and Rex work well together. Not much to say specifically, but the teamwork? the coordination? we love to see it (but also hate to see it bc o u c h).

Now we get back to trust (it always comes back to trust). Once they find the y-wing to escape on, Rex tells ahsoka to “get me over there” and just. Runs and jumps into thin air? Of course ahsoka gives him a boost with the force and he gets on the y-wing, but we know that Rex doesn’t like heights. It’s been a running joke through the show for other people to throw Rex in the air (geonosis? bad batch MULTIPLE TIMES lol), but it’s always without him asking and he Does Not Appreciate. This time he TELLS ahsoka to throw him over there and doesn’t even hesitate to jump. If Ahsoka hadn’t caught him he would have fallen to his death, and yet he trusts her so much that he does it anyway. He doesn’t even wait for a response from her after he tells her to throw him over there! Now, I don’t know if Rex is actually scared of heights or not, but if he is then this shows even more trust between them. He trusts her with his life completely, and probably vice versa.

And now we get to the end. Ahsoka and Rex buried all of the troopers they could find, because they’re family and it wasn’t their fault and they deserved better and agshdkjskjdh. At this point, they don’t know what’s happened in the rest of the galaxy, but Ahsoka’s felt the death in the force and they probably fear the worst. They are the only family they have left. We end with them about to get on the y wing and probably go to figure out what’s happened. Ahsoka stands at the graves and Rex sees her from beside the ship. There are no words, but they are united by the family they’ve lost.

Personally I find it really hard to believe they would have separated right after that, and i’m not sure what’s canon anymore with the ahsoka novel and when it starts, but whatever. Fitting (ish) with the ahsoka novel, they eventually realized that it wasn’t safe for either of them to stay together and had to say goodbye. I like a headcanon by someone on here (just lmk who you are and I’ll tag!!) about how ahsoka and Rex eventually find Wolffe and Gregor, but wolffe is badly affected by Ahsoka’s presence and so she makes the decision to leave. No matter what actually happened though, they stayed family, even apart. When they meet again in Rebels it’s so sweet!! They’ve both come so far from who they were at the start of the Clone Wars. In the beginning, Ahsoka saw Rex as a sort of mentor and quickly gained a lot of respect for him. Rex, in turn, was at first unsure about ahsoka but changed his mind fast. Ahsoka grows into the best Commander she can be by the end of season 3, and by this point they each see each other as equals. Though Ahsoka is commander and Rex captain, she respects his experience and cares about him as a friend, and maybe even family. By seasons 4 and 5 they see each other as family, after Ahsoka was there in the aftermath of umbara and Rex trusted her in the wrong Jedi. Even though ahsoka left, she never blamed the troopers for what she went through. And when she returns in season 7 she sees all of her family again, just for a moment, until it all comes crashing down and she and Rex are all each other has left. Over the three years of the war, Ahsoka and Rex was one of the friendships that wasn’t broken by betrayal or breach in trust. They had each other’s backs and grew to trust each other with their lives, and that didn’t change even after the war ended.

WOW that was long—I got carried away and went a lot into their individual characterization as well. Sorry if the conclusion was a bit dramatic, I wanted to wrap it up meaningfully. Let me know what you like and agree/disagree with, and hope you found this interesting!

#star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #clone wars #tcw #tcw season 7 #tcw s7 #ahsoka tano #captain rex #tcw finale #sw meta #tcw meta #this was very very long wow #sorry it took me a while #so many words #ahsoka and the clones #long post #my meta

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koutawoo · 4 years ago

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ahhh this is a super late response!! i'm sorry ><

we actually did use aleks!! that's cool that you know it :0

i'm gonna be honest and say that i also stick to the flavors of things i like already 😅 matcha is def my fav (if it wasn't obvious by my emoji choice for an anon)

and thank you so much !! 🤧 my friends have said similar things about being burnt out, so i really appreciate your concern >< luckily all of my summer courses have ended (tho tennis is starting up for me soon & i have a couple stu gov events to help out with). i'll try to take a break !!

have you been keeping up w the olympics? i've been watching them basically every day but it's so frustrating since the channel i watch basically only broadcasts things that have team usa competing in them (please,, i just wanna see japan's vb team,,)

and finally !! i got genshin (technically for the second time; the first time i got to the tutorial slime, freaked out, and deleted the game) my friends have been pushing me to play but open world fighting games stress me out SO badly. so far ive been faring decently in the game! ik you post a lot about genshin, so do you have any tips for a newbie like me?

- 🍵

dw about it LOL

omg aleks… i only ever used it in middle school. idk why but everyone considered aleks a nightmare, i think it’s bc for hw, our teacher wanted us to master at least 5-7 topics each night

twinsies ✋ i remember i went out of my comfort zone once and i bought a strawberry (i don’t remember if it was just strawberry or a mixed drink) milk tea drink, and it tasted… terrible. BUT UES MATCHA IS MY FAVE TOO >:000 can never go wrong with matcha. however, i bought the matcha latte from starbucks before and it was sooooo sweet and my disappointment was immeasurable

ah geez, so ur mentality can take a rest but mostly ur physical body gotta do some work now. and ofc, school is almost back in session so u gotta do those things 😔 but at least it’s smth u enjoy, right? conditioning sounds like a nightmare from what i’ve heard, so don’t literally break a leg out there either

i don’t watch the olympics but i do when my dad is LOL like he’ll be watching it and it’s in my peripheral view so i turn my head whenever it’s interesting. i’ve only seen the womens’ vb match, haven’t seen a lick of mens’ vb. it’s rlly so interesting whenever the athletes set records though omf, i’m so proud of them and i don’t even know what they did HAJSAHSJ watching olympics vb is season six/seven of haikyuu!! watching olympics swimming is final season of free! gagahahah speaking of swimming, the 17 (?) year old alaskan swimmer who won in a huge upset omg, shes so cool

OMG U FREAKED OUT OVER THE SLIME 😭😭😭 ur just like my friend 😭😭 yall so cute! ngl sometimes open world mobs stress me out too, like when u suddenly hear the battle music and some mob runs at u, like, bye! aint got time for this 🏃‍♀️

ngl genshin is like, one of the first games of these type, that i played yknow?? like i didn’t know shit at all, so i just did stuff randomly and i was such a noob and didn’t do basic stuff so i remember, i was fighting a world boss (the big boys; stormterror) and it took me like twenty minutes just to beat it up :/ anyways, to avoid wasting time as a noob and to avoid doing 5 dmg per hit again a 100000 hp mob LOL

u should def work on leveling up ur characters, weapons, and artifacts. if u have any 4* weapons, u should def level those up! and 3* are the next go to. this is assuming u don’t have 5* weapons. u can always use the 3* weapons as enhancement materials once u get better weapons; same goes for artifacts. there’s not much options for artifacts when ur new, so u can pretty much level up whatever, but pay attention to the set bonus for a little boost! u can read up on ur character’s kit (talents n all that), and see if they receive any bonuses from scaling on certain stats. example: i believe noelle’s sweeping time does more dmg based on her defense, so i’ll find artifacts that have defense sub stats

also, resin is VERY precious, and it refreshes every eight minutes, so while you can, try to use all ur resin so u can have more resources that can be sued in the long run. i think at the moment, the only thing u can do with resin as a noob is do the mora/xp leylines

also, don’t give into peer pressure when it comes to characters. just get the characters u like and don’t pay attention to the meta :// it ruins things. ALSO, everyone says the weapon banner is a waste for “f2p” and whatever, but at one point, ur gonna have enough characters that u like to use and some upcoming characters just don’t appeal to u.. so if u like a weapon and u want it, don’t be afraid to roll on the banner. i feel like in terms of long term investment, a 5* weapon is much better than being a “character collector.” but that also depends on the person LOL i don’t mind skipping characters so that’s why i have room to wish on weapon banner :’>

i don’t feel like i have much general advice but if u have specific questions, don’t be afraid to hmu!

#🍵 anon san #kouta babbles #<3333 don’t stress be happy

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enthusiasticmusicalquotes · 5 years ago

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QUESTION OF THE DAY #6: Send me your most unpopular theatre opinion. Something that might make someone want to fight you. Please don’t be offensive (racist, misogynistic, etc.), but other than that…go as hard as you want. Spill all the tea.

MY ANSWERS: 1) The Pretty Woman score fucking slaps idek, 2) Come From Away (or even Bandstand...) should’ve won the 2017 Best Musical Tony, 3) I prefer the West End Heathers cast album to Off Broadway, 4) Shows shouldn’t sweep the Tonys just because they’re Best Musical worthy...shows that aren’t too critically acclaimed but have really impressive elements should get recognition too.

SUMMARY: Out of 37 responses: 5 were about Dear Evan Hansen, 3 were about Hamilton specifically, 2 were about: Rent, ALW, Wicked, In The Heights, Be More Chill, etc. etc....if your favorite musical is one of these and you get easily offended i wouldn’t read these.

NOTE: I agree with some of these, I highly disagree with others. I do not endorse any of the things that were said, I am simply sharing them with you all. These were what was sent to me. I’m going to number them so if you want to complain about or agree with one you can send me an ask with the number you’re referring to.

1. howmuchchildrens said: unpopular opinion: i really liked the 2012 version of les mis. i liked russel crowe as javert.

2. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion: Bootlegs harm to local theatre communities, though I do not believe anyone intends for that to be the case. While it's possible to bootleg responsibly (and I might even say it's beneficial to do so), those who may not know the intricacies of theatrical copyright law or who haven't heard the horror stories from a theatre that's been hit with legal action DUE to a bootleg may record or watch a show irresponsibly, which can greatly harm other routes of theatre accessibility.

3. Anonymous said: Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals are mostly terrible. He only got and stayed popular because a lot of other musical creators and taste makers died in the AIDS epidemic

4. Anonymous said: Almost all musicals using the songs of one artist are cash grabs with no plot or point.

5. Anonymous said: If your musical only has 1 woman OR the women only get sad/romantic songs you need to do something else with your life.

6. nerdshrimp said: Unpopular opinion: Next To Normal does a better job of portraying the effects of mental illness than Dear Evan Hansen does. N2N also doesn't romanticise mental illness & excuse shitty behavior like DEH tries to

7. Anonymous said: Hadestown is a lesser show on Broadway. I fell in love with the live album, and I was so excited for it to come to Broadway. I was so disappointed to see the changes they made. Orpheus and Eurydice's relationship is less interesting and more generic. The changed lyrics are often sloppy and not as good as the original. They fucking wrecked Epic III. Also, no hate to R/ee/ve, but he's just not a good enough singer to convince me that he could soften the heart of Hades. His high notes are awful.

8. Anonymous said: opinion: we are the tigers deserves a broadway run or at least a proshot

9. bimystique said: e/c is NOT A GOOD FUCKING SHIP. the ENTIRE PLOT OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is christine trying to escape erik's abuse. WHAT FUCKING PART OF THAT IS ROMANTIC TO YOU PEOPLE.

10. Anonymous said: unpopular theatre opinion(s): Dear Evan Hansen is Very Bad for its handling of mental illness, Hamilton is overrated and praised too much, and high school/college musical theatre programs can be just as good as Broadway. (also, musical movies would be better if they hired broadway actors, but that's not an unpopular opinion)

11. Anonymous said: I don’t like Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton is overrated

12. Anonymous said: I don’t like dear Evan Hansen..... at all. I think it’s kind of boring and really overhyped.

13. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion: in the heights is far better than Hamilton. both are good but ith hits different yknow

14. Anonymous said: The bring it on and legally blonde musicals are BAD! The movies are 100 times better

15. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion? wicked is the epitome of white feminism. it's preached as super great for representation but we literally got the first black glinda in 2019?!?!?!? and before that woc could only play elphaba who's villainized and deemed evil by the whole city

16. Anonymous said: Not so much an opinion as a reaction, but of all Lin's works (ITH, Bring it On, 21 Chump Street, Hamilton), 21 Chump Street gets the biggest emotional reaction of all the cast recordings. The second Justin is like "I don't want your money" (And then later on with the "...what the heck did you.... dooooo", I am a complete goner. Worse than Abuela Claudia and Philip Hamilton's deaths combined

17. Anonymous said: Whenever Je.ssie Mu.eller hits certain notes, she sounds like Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

18. Anonymous said: aotd6: not everyone knows what im talking about, but the cats 2016 broadway revival choreography was WAYYYY better than the original. the original had a lot of creepy uncomfortable moments and the new one looks way cleaner and up to date

19. Anonymous said: raoul is better than the phantom in every conceivable way

20. Anonymous said: I hate Anastasia so much. it's such a boring show and the music is uninteresting. I wanted to like it so bad but GOD is it boring.

21. Anonymous said: In the Heights.... Overrated.

22. Anonymous said: I do not know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but here is my opinion: Musicals that are entirely or nearly entirely songs (Hamilton, Hadestown, In The Heights, etc) are the most valid bc I can understand the plot without using wikipedia (I'm looking at you, Jagged Little Pill, I love you but what is your plot????)

23. Anonymous said: I'd rather have a bad film adaptation than no film adaptation

24. Anonymous said: Rent sucks and while it was a stepping stone for more ""controversial"" topics to appear on Broadway it's actually biphobic and features several generally terrible people doing generally terrible things and doesn't actually address the real crisis at all; it's all performative wokeness. The only real good it did was cast a bunch of "nobodies" for the time and make theater somewhat more accessible.

25. stardust-and-seas said: Dear Evan Hansen doesn't properly address mental health despite being about mental health and resolves nobodies character arcs satisfactorily. It's another show that reaches its hands around the throats of marginalized teenagers saying "look I'm relatable!!" The songs taken out of context are significantly more powerful than when placed in the context of the show, which gives us exactly zero evidence of Evan's work to improve and also never resolves Evan's u healthy goals in the first place.

26. stardust-and-seas said: Be More Chill is a raging dumpster fire and the only decent song from it, Michael in the Bathroom, reads as a whiny rich white boy whose potential social anxiety and depression is left ambiguous, which is exactly what it is. When taken out of context it better exemplifies the othering that happens to marginalized groups but lets be real here: bullying/cliques don't happen to "just anyone"; it's the marginalized groups that are othered and abandoned for not being "normal"

27. stardust-and-seas said: There's a difference between shows that don't take themselves seriously because they're meant to be fun and light and shows that pretend not to take themselves too seriously but want to be taken seriously by the audience and the latter always ends up mediocre at best

28. redueka said: i think that dear evan hansen handles every issue it presents badly. i also think that beetlejuice was badly directed

29. Anonymous said: Well I don’t EVER condone cheating, I’m team Jamie in the last five years. He tried so hard to make their relationship and life good, and Cathy gave him nothing in return

30. youcanlolyoucansayohwell said: The answer of the day- I don't get the BMC hype. I'm out of the age bracket it's meant for that might it be. I enjoy it but I don't think it's the greatest thing in the world like some theatre fans do.

31. Anonymous said: i like the rent 2005 recording better than the obcr

32. Anonymous said: unpopular opinion ? : the music of wicked just like isn’t that good. like it’s good but it’s not like, Good, yknow. it’s pretty standard it doesn’t stand out to me. kinda boring

33. Anonymous said: mari.ah r.ose fa.ith is not a good regina george. everything she says sounds monotonous and while i understand she's trying to play off the ""whatever"" teenager (she does this a lot with her teenage characters), 90% of the time she sounds and looks like she doesn't want to be there; her voice is great but most songs feel unnatural and forced and she changes them too much. she's just not selling regina to me as a believable character (this is all from a technical point of view)

34. Anonymous said: Unpopular Opinion: as much as i like musicals based on movies (like waitress), i think not every movie needs to be a musical.

35. Anonymous said: Unpopular opinion (?) the emojiland musical Kinda Slaps

36. Anonymous said: as one of my high school tech theatre teachers once said: "Andrew Lloyd Webber is overrated"

37. Anonymous said: sorry to whoever likes it but Seussical is an absolutely nonsense crackpot plot disguised with okay-to-good music, like I don't even know where to start. I was in the show and didn't even know there was an entire secondary plot line featuring sending children to war until we were halfway through rehearsals

#qotd #not a quote #in some places i put dots in the name so it didn't show up in the tag by accident

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sunriseskog · 6 years ago

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comethru- Auston Matthews

Request: n/a this was entirely self induglent bc im sad and ive had comethru by Jermey Zucker stuck in my head for weeks

Word Count: 2,267

Warnings: cursing, angst, dudes being assholes, mentions of tr*ding auston

A/N: ive been on hiatus for a long ass time so any feedback is more than welcome!!!! also i am fully aware that i used this gift for my last post but its hot and i dont care

It had been a little over a month since Auston left. No… that’s not quite right. It had been a little over a month since Auston left Toronto. It had been just barely under a month since you had left Auston.

You weren’t entirely sure who the trade surprised more, but you did know for a fact that it had had a far greater effect on you than it had on Auston.

He had remained optimistic in the beginning. After all, Buffalo is barely a 2-hour drive on a bad day. On a good day, he could probably make it in an hour and a half. But the two of you had quickly reached the conclusion that either of you driving 4+ hours a day wasn’t practical, and it wasn’t fair to whoever drew the short end of the stick, pun intended. You knew he would never ask you to move for him, hell even moving in together had been a stretch for you, but you also knew that there was an unspoken expectation that eventually the both of you would relocate closer to the arena.

Before he had even reached the border, you had managed to convince yourself that this short distance relationship would cripple your relationship before you could even begin filling out the US immigration forms to move with him, let alone actually convince yourself to do it. So you backed off. You knew that trying to exhaust what was left of the relationship would only end up destroying you the both of you more than was necessary, so you let go. You knew it wouldn’t take him long to pick up on the fact that you were becoming distant, taking longer to respond to texts, barely calling him back and conveniently timing your responses with the specific intention of him not being able to pick up. You may have been stupid, but you sure as hell weren’t subtle. You knew that as long you were the bad guy in the scenario, it wouldn’t take him nearly as long to get over you, and as long as you remained in control of the situation, you knew that you’d come out of the tail end of things perfectly fine.

And you were. You were absolutely, positively fine. But that was all you were. You weren’t good or great or doing well, you were just… fine. You were off-kilter, sure, but you were surviving, and that was honestly all you had come to ask of yourself. You were sure that the other shoe would drop soon enough, you had ridden the high and now you were at the plateau, but the comedown seemed to always be lurking around the corner.

One too many sleepless nights in a row had come to significantly impact your sleeping schedule. It had gotten to the point where your boss had come to expect your work day to end at 5 am instead of 5 pm. It was nice, though. To see the city when it felt like no one else could. To have your whole day to yourself, even though it was technically night. Everything was much quieter, and there were moments where it felt like you might be the only person in the entire city to be awake, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You rarely interacted with anyone, you didn’t even wake up until hours after the last of your coworkers had left the building, and every errand you had to run could be completed via the self-checkout of the 24 hr supermarket a few blocks away from your apartment building. You weren’t lonely by any means, you just so happened to be alone.

Except on game nights. You were never alone on game nights. Luckily, there weren’t very many Toronto residents that enjoyed watching one of their franchise players play in a different teams jersey, but you still couldn’t help but punish yourself by watching his games whenever they were on at the sports bar you frequented. You told yourself that as long as someone else put the game on, and as long as you left with someone new before the game was over, then it wasn’t nearly as pathetic as it seemed.

An issue arose the first time Toronto played the Sabres. You hadn’t checked the schedule, you just knew that there was a game. You also knew that if you were ever alone when a game was on you would curl up with far too much ice cream and a borderline dangerous amount of rum, neither of which were ideal. Immediately upon entering the bar, you knew that it was far too crowded for there to not be a Leafs game on, it was nowhere near baseball season, and the sea of blue jerseys couldn’t be for any other team. An involuntary wince consumed your face as Auston’s name reached your ears, it seemed like every congregation of fans in the entire establishment were talking about him, and a cursory glance at the nearest screen confirmed your fears.

The bad news was that if you stayed, you would have to watch Auston play, which was bound to be painful for any Leafs fan, but this one would hurt you just a little more than all the others— the knowledge that he was just across the city weighed heavily on your shoulders as you pushed through the crowd to find an empty stool somewhere. The worse news was that there was no way in hell a single guy in here would be willing to leave before the game was over, so you’d either have to watch all of it and then fuck the feelings away, or go home and watch all of it and probably end up crying for a majority of the third period. The former seemed like a more viable option at the time.

Now, though? You wished you had just gone home. Because it turns out you were wrong, there was a dude at the bar who was willing to leave before the end, as it would turn out, he was ready to leave before the second period was halfway through. That should have been your first red flag.

In your defense, you had a lot of other shit going on, and your brain was far too preoccupied coping with the stress that the game was bringing to consider the fact that the nice guy who had been paying for your drinks might not turn out to be that nice after all.

On the cab ride back to your apartment, you found out that his name was Sam and he was a lifelong Leafs fan. The two of you bonded over having grown up around hockey without actually playing it, and you even shared a cigarette at the entrance of your building’s lobby. It wasn’t until the two of you stepped into your living room that things took a turn for the worse.

The framed and signed Matthews jersey on the mantle had been more of a joke than anything else, all of your friends thought it was funny while the two of you were together, and you hadn’t had anyone over since the breakup, so you hadn’t found a reason to convince yourself to take it down. The look of disgust on Sam’s face as soon as he laid eyes on it would have been a fairly convincing reason if you actually gave a shit what he thought about you.

“That’s borderline sacrilege,” he commented, gesturing towards the display. You shot him an incredulous look, waiting for him to give any indication that he was making a joke.

“What?” You questioned, not really confused, just wanting to clarify if he was saying. What you thought he was saying.

“You can’t seriously call yourself a leafs fan and still support that guy! He’s a traitor,” He asserted. His over passionate gesturing indicated that he was genuinely this invested in the topic, which should have been your second red flag.

“I mean c’mon, (Y/N),” He continued. “You’re not stupid, are you?”

You couldn’t help but scoff at how pretentious and condescending he was being, without seeming to realize that he was acting like an absolute prick.

“I can assure you, Samuel,” You drawled sarcastically. “I am anything but stupid, but you have got to be absolutely moronic if you genuinely believe that I’m going to let you fuck me after speaking to me like I'm a goddamn child. Your kinks are your business but that's not really my style,” you sneered as you moved towards the doorway in order to invite him to throw himself out so you didn’t have to bother touching him any more than you already had.

“Now why don’t you get the fuck out of my house, dick head,” You spoke as your lip curled and your brow quirked, gesturing through the doorway to drive the point through his thick skull.

“Gladly,” He scoffed, slamming his shoulder into yours as he stepped past you. “Not like I’d want to fuck a whore like you anyways!” He shouted over his should as he started towards the stairs.

“Open your mouth that wide again and I’m gonna have to ask you to chortle my cock, Samuel” You responded, giving a middle finger to his back for your own satisfaction. You had never been one to censor your insults, and over the years they had become more and more lewd. This, of course, had never really presented itself as a problem until you caught the eye of your neighbor as you turned to storm back inside of your apartment. You couldn’t help but wince apologetically at the old woman, giving her a repentant head nod as you shuffled back inside.

You let your back hit the inside of the door, sliding roughly down until your tailbone hit the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Of course, the first substantial interaction you had in over a month would turn out to be a spectacular disaster. And of course, it was because of Auston. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t his fault, you just really really needed someone else to blame right now. You carded your fingers through your scalp roughly, and let out an elongated groan in the hopes that it would satisfy the overwhelming urge that you had had to scream at the top of your lungs for the past month or so.

As you stared at your own intertwined fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down, you couldn’t help but notice that your fingers were shaking. This wasn’t a recent development by any means, but this was the first time that you had noticed it being this aggressive. It usually only happened when you had coffee, which was why you had abstained from it for a majority of your life. As you looked back on what your routine had become, you realized that through all the late nights and later mornings, you had been popping caffeine pills and ordering espressos far more than the ‘one-time thing’ you told yourself it was. The realization that your life had done a complete 180 in the span of 5 weeks began to weigh on you, and it seemed like your mind was consumed entirely by flurries of memories of bad habits you had fallen back into and the lifeless moments you had spent floundering, convincing yourself that you were fine on your own, despite the fact that that was anything but the truth.

It didn’t take very long to find his contact picture in your recent messages. You hadn’t had much of a reason to talk to that many people lately. It took longer to open up the message thread, trying to prepare yourself to view the unbearably awkward finality of your most recent messages to each other. The preview underneath his name only served as a painful reminder that the last time he had texted you was to say that he loved you. And you hadn’t said it back.

You weren’t sure if he was going to respond, hell you went sure he was even going to read it. For all you knew it was entirely within the realm of possibility that he had blocked you a while ago. You knew exactly what to say, surprisingly, that wasn’t the hard part. Of the few letters that you typed, the closer you got to reaching out to him again seemed to calm you down more and more. By the time you tacked on the question mark at the end, your fingers had stopped trembling for there first time in what you could assume had been at least a couple of weeks. You let your phone drop to the floor as soon as you hit send, either he would be here within the hour or his response wouldn’t be worth reading. Those were the only options on the table. Either he was going to come and the two of you were going to get to be okay for a little while, or it truly was the end. If that was the case then you really didn’t want to see what he had to say. You heard your phone vibrate from where it laid just a couple feet away, and as much as the desire consumed you, you couldn’t bring yourself to move to see what it said. So you sat there, and waited to see if you would be able to hear those oh so familiar footsteps ascending your staircase again, responding to your oh so familiar request.

‘come thru?’

#i am literally begging you to tell me what you think #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #Toronto Maple Leafs #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #imagines #imagine

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laurapaq · 5 years ago

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Roman Farming

Overview:

Nowadays, we mostly remember Rome for her republic declining into an empire, or her military prowess. However, Romans thought of themselves as peace-loving, and even violent figures such as Sulla or Pompey the Great retired (temporarily, in Pompey’s case) from public life to their farm, as did the idealized Cincinnatus. Festivals celebrated farming holidays, art depicts farming tools, and noble gentlemen wrote farming manuals. Perhaps this was because the Romans rarely had a hard time providing food for themselves, their own land was fertile, and as the empire expanded they were fed by north African farms, or perhaps it was because the city of Rome was started as a little military outpost to protect Italian farmers from their northern Etruscan neighbors.

Because farming was so idealized, it’s a difficult subject to cover extensively, I’m going to highlight some practices, inventions, and produce that could add realism to historical fiction or fantasy as well as distinguish it from the typical fantasy landscape, then go into some of the cultural implications (besides people having better things to do than starve to death).

Specifics:

Even if farming was an appropriate side hustle for patrician nobility, farming itself was difficult, and it yielded far less than it does now. Nearly half of the crop had to be used as seeds. Even still, Romans farmed so well that their farming methods were picked up by Britains and Gauls, which is appropriate since Romans built off efforts by the Greeks and people of the Near East. Additionally, despite the difficulties of the ancient world, the period between 500 BC and 500 AD had peak farming conditions in Europe (as opposed to the mini Ice Age that followed). Italy had other farming advantages; although rainfall can be spotty at times, it’s normally abundant, there are plenty of rivers and streams, and the soil is rich from volcanic ash.

The Romans grew wheat, spelt, barley, legumes like peans, peas, chickpeas, alfalfa, turnips, radishes, and fruit like figs. Wild fruits and nuts could be collected at will. Grapes and olive oil were popular and sold abundantly—both grow naturally in Italy—and with grain were the most important plants, sometimes called the “Mediterranean triad” (2). Though olive and grapes could be grown with little effort, grain—around 75% of a normal person’s calories—required extensive effort. Moreover, early Roman holdings were often as small as 1.25 acres or half a hectares. Normally, 1 acre will feed one person.

Because there’s a large difference in the temperature and rainfall in north and south Italy, there’s a good bit of variance in farming method. However, we can get the idea in broad strokes. Roman tools were bronze or iron, hand tools like hoes and mattocks, plows (with a forecarriage—an apparatus at the front that makes it steadier), carts, harrow, manure hampers and baskets, spades, shovels, rakes, scythes, axes, wedges, an olive-crushing mill and oil press.

The plow was used first to turn soil over, as it is now, and could invert soil if turned sideways; some plows had metal ‘ears’ on the bottom that improved them. In light soil it could be pulled by a donkey, otherwise, it might require a few oxen. That was followed with a mattock (which looks like a cross between a pick-axe and a wood-axe), which broke up large lumps of dirt so that the seeds could fall into the proper rows the plow had turned up. Fields were plowed at least twice to conserve moisture (called cry-farming, still a staple around the Mediterranean), and manure was laid down after the second plowing, which came from a compost pit with animal excrement and rotting leaves, weeds, or leftovers. Seeds were either thrown out (which is quicker), or placed by hand. They were then raked over with a harrow, which could be a tool with iron teeth like nails raking the ground, or a convenient thorn bush.

Harvesting was done with a sickle (curvy knife on a stick that looks like a bad guy’s weapon), which has changed little since then, and was then brought to the threshing floor. Threshing was done by animals stomping on the grain on a hard floor, or by being crushed by a tribulum, or wooden frame with metal on its belly which was pulled across the floor. Winnowing was done by tossing the threshed grain and letting the light chaff blow away while the heavier grain well back down. Grain was then usually ground with rocks, although there were some working water mills at the end of the empire.

On rainy days when not much farming could get done, Cato (one of the politicians writing farm manuals) says to make sure to remind the overseer of work that could be done “scrubbing and pitching wine vats, cleaning the farmstead, shifting grain, hauling out manure, making a manure pit, cleaning seed, mending old harness and making new; and that the hands ought to have mended their smocks and hoods. Remind him, also, that on feast days old ditches might have been cleaned, road work done, brambles cut, the garden spaded, a meadow cleared, faggots bundled, thorns rooted out, spelt ground, and general cleaning done.” (4)

Although vineyards and olive groves remained unchanging, the Romans realized that they couldn’t grow the same crop the same place forever as it depletes the soil, so they divided their fields and rotated crops between them. They also identified which soil was best for which plant, and paid attention to that as they were cordoning off sections; for instance, olives were to be planted in thinner soil and exposed to the sun, at intervals of twenty five feet. Forage crops were also planted, such as alfalfa, which also aided the farm animal’s fertility. Vegetables were also grown to supplement human and beast, though farmers would also forage for acorns or other foodstuff to feed their animals through winter.

To offset the dangers of a poor year, in the good year, farmers stored as much as they could—not just food, but animals and jewelry that could be sold. People also used each other as resources; when one person helped another, the person helped incurred an obligation to return the favor.

Certain plants were also grown for medicinal purposes: Pliny reports that garlic had 61 medicinal uses, radish 43, and lettuce 42. Parsnip relaxed the stomach and relieved swelling when used as a bandage, the onion’s juice was used to relieve pain from snake bites, the wild cucumber’s juice was used for tooth aches and to heal eyes, beets were boiled and eaten with raw garlic to cure tapeworm.

Farming evolved as Rome did. Initially, it was a family thing, with that small acre and change farm earlier described. However, as Rome grew and the need for soldiers increased, Rome turned to conscription. Young men were pressed into military service, and while they were gone those rich off of conquests bought up land that couldn’t be maintained without the citizen farmer, and used captured slaves as free labor. These slave run estates were so common, there was even a name for them, the latifundia. These latifundia undercut the family farm and forced the rural people to the city, where they struggled to find work and depended on the empire’s bread and circuses. However, this theory has come under fire recently from new archeology evidence which doesn’t seem to support a decrease in small farms, yet even if it wasn’t true, it was the narrative the poor Romans told themselves. Regardless, it is verifiably true that as the empire expanded, it depended more and more on fertile North Africa, such as Egypt, Tunisia (where Carthage was), and Algeria, as well as their own islands Sicily and Sardinia.

Why It Matters:

We can see a tension between Rome as it was originally, a farming outpost, and the military empire it became in Cato, who has nothing but praise for farmers, but still draws them from their farm claiming that they make the sturdiest soldiers. More subtly, in the Aeneid, Aeneas’ father Anchises tells him it’s the Roman legacy to conquer, and yet the author Virgil spends more time on the domestic scene, in romance and familiar love, than battle. Seeing as no culture can live up to its ideals (unless they have lame ideals like flaying people *cough* Assyrians), a good fantasy culture will have both what it wants to be, and what it is. Sometimes those two are even in conflict with each other, or ideas mutate without the (sophisticated, fancy smancy part of) culture realizing or noticing the difference. Moreover, even if you want to cast a nation as ‘the bad guys’ they’ve got good motivations; Roman expansion was initially defensive, or honoring treaties with allies.

We can also see that cultures love their origins. Rome seemed to be more proud of their agrarian roots, than of their military prowess, which they actually seemed almost ashamed of early in their history (the ‘victory arch’ began as a sort of atonement ceremony where soldiers had to purify themselves before entering the city). Which is why we see houses in the city decorating their houses with natural scenes rather than scenes of battle, so that they can pretend they were proper Roman farmers.

As always, the technical details can help with realism.

1. https://www.britannica.com/topic/agriculture/Improvements-in-agriculture-in-the-West-200-bce-to-1600-ce

2. https://facultystaff.richmond.edu/~wstevens/history331texts/farming.html

3. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/9781444338386.wbeah20007

4. http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Cato/De_Agricultura/A*.html (Cato’s On Agriculture)

5. http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Plin.+Nat.+toc&redirect=true (Pliny’s Natural Histories)

6. http://factsanddetails.com/world/cat56/sub408/item2049.html

#writingfantasy #worldbuilding #writingtips #ancientworld

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flowerslut · 6 years ago

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1/2: hiii, i was wondering if you have the time (and/or patience), could you please explain further about vampire age vs. human age when turned and how that effects how they act and what teenage tendencies the vampires will be prone to? like i get the whole child development frozen. can't be taught. but for like the cullens physical age (17-20s?) you're telling me their 50+ years won't affect them at all? like they won't mature mentally at all? learn? does this make sense? it confuses me too tbh

I always have time to procrastinate my real life responsibilities to talk about twilight are you joking

this is going to be long. so uh, apologies, I guess.

I'm no neuroscientist or anything (fucking duh) and I feel like smeyer makes all of her science-esque explanations vague enough to be left up to some sort of interpretation, but with my understanding it all has to do with what the brain can actually do. so, again, while I’m not a neuroscientist, I am a teacher. I did study child development pretty thoroughly back in school and I work with kids that range from infants to 12 year olds. so I’m going to start with an example on child vampires before I answer your question about teen vamps.

here’s the way I see it:

say you’ve got a two year old. alriiiight, lets make that baby a vampire! now, two year olds are basically large babies who are just beginning to function as people. words are there because vocabularies are being built. fine and gross motor skills are lacking but still being actively improved upon. their understanding of the world as a whole is also pretty basic because they can’t grasp larger concepts. sitting down a vampire toddler—even one who has been a vampire for 5 or 10 years—and saying “hey. you’re illegal. which means we have to keep this on the down-low, meaning you have to like, listen, or both you and I are going to to be straight-up murdered by our immortal lawmakers.” isn’t going to get you any results. your little abomination is just going to ignore you after the first 6 words and start to wonder why you’re making such a funny face.

in the words of Piaget, children aren’t “little adults” and literally cannot function as such because their young brains prevent that. they just don’t have the tools.

I know smeyer took all sorts of “it’s supernatural!!” liberties with Advanced-Functioning-and-Brain-Development Renesmee but the way I make her existence work in my head canons is by headcanoning the opposite with her: I want to see the vampire side of her show in more realistic (and less idealistic) ways. where her parents are frozen vampires, I want to see her slowly developing, as opposed to the weird hyper-developing thing smeyer had going in order to age her faster to get her with Jacob quicker, but uh *coughs* we won’t go into that nasty fact. I want to see a Renesmee at her 2 year old birthday party and she’s still the size of a 6 month old. (Emmett blows a noisemaker too close to her head and she bursts in to tears; he’s subsequently banned from the cottage for a month but it’s not like he misses out on anything. Next time he’s over Renesmee has barely grown anyways.)

so while we have Renesmee’s frankly disturbing case, let’s go back to the actual topic:

the thing is, vampire children’s brains aren’t developing. they’re learning, as all children do, but what makes (human) kids wild from a general standpoint is how fast they do it. but again, with the rate at which their brains develop and their bodies grow, of course they’d pick up things so quickly. they sort of have to in order to help them navigate this world around them in which most pieces of information they’re introduced to are 100% new concepts to them.

now, the real question: can vampire children learn. yeah, to an extent, they probably can. but they’re not learning the way you and I do, or the way a normal kid might. let’s go back to our hypothetical two year old baby vamp for a second. so this kid is frozen in time, right? so that means that while they might practice or perfect skills that are usually developed as they grow, they won’t be able to build off of those learned skills and advance them into something more or something better.

for example, a two year old who has learned to catch and throw a ball with someone else will eventually learn how to throw and catch the ball by themselves because their motor skills and hand-eye coordination will improve as they develop.

not with our vampire baby, though. imagine anything you can teach a two-year old with one full day of practice: catching a ball. hopping with two feet instead of just one. putting on a hat by themselves. now, imagine anything you can teach a five-year old in the same period of time. how to tie a knot. how to do a cartwheel. how to recognize specific words. so, with a two-year old vamp who is technically 5 years old, they wouldn’t be able to further their skills like a human 5 year old because they don’t have the tools to build their skills. so while you may have a 2 year old who can catch a ball from a literal half-mile away, they aren’t going to figure out how to tie their shoes even if you worked on it for 6 months. it aint going to work. they’re going to be figuratively left in the dust developmentally and they’re going to stay that way because, you know, the unchanging nature of the vampire deems it so........

now with our poor, unfortunate immortal teenagers. oof. I really feel for them. I mean, as a grown woman I think back to seventeen year old me and cringe sometimes. all people do, but then I imagine if her development had been stunted and she’d been trapped in that body and mindset for an eternity. it really gives a gal some fucking goosebumps, that’s for sure.

I know everyone likes to joke about how Esme is the only person with braincells in the family because she’s the only one with a fully developed pre-frontal cortex, but when you think about the fact that developmentally she really is the only one who should be calling any shots for that family it makes you wonder why smeyer didn’t make the Cullens a matriarchal family (I mean, we know why, but I digress...)

since the Cullens are written by an adult (and Bella, too, for that matter) that’s why when we read the books when we were younger we all most likely thought “oh! they’re all so level-headed and mature!” and they are a little bit. but that’s because they’re written like that. if the Cullens were as developmentally stunted as smeyer claims they are then they’d be every bit as chaotic as the fandom likes to head canon them as. poor impulse control. bad decisions nearly every step of the way. and sure, they’d learn from mistakes. but when faced with a split-second to make a decision it doesn’t matter if you have 50 years of lived experience behind you. that 17-year old brain in that head of yours is going to act and react. ain’t nothing you can do to stop it.

that’s why Edward being like “alright. fuck it. I'm killing myself” in new moon makes sense to me. and it’s why Rosalie being angry and jaded for nearly the entirety of the series makes sense to me. combine their ages and their last human moments and look back on where there development was stunted: a lot of the shit that people complain about their characters will feel like it makes a shitload of sense. it doesn’t matter if they’ve been ‘alive’ for 100 years.

(this whole thing is also why I made Esme the head of ‘the family’ in CotN, for all intents in purposes. bc of fucking course she would be.)

but think about how frustrating it would be, even with the super-vampire-memory, to look back at every single time you gave into the same impulses. sure, you’ll tell yourself you’ll do better next time. and maybe you will. but the brain calls the shots y'all. and while you might think you’re fully in charge of what it has to do or say, you really are only a passenger in this thing. along for the ride.

to finally answer your question: I think, yes. you are going to have teenage vampires who give off an air of maturity to them because of all of their lived experiences. but I still believe having even a 23 year old in charge (because now I look back on 23 and I’m like, hm, yeah. still a baby.) of a coven of vampires is fucking foolish as shit. but I mean, if Carlisle were as ‘smart’ as his medical degrees say he is, with him at the helm of the family the Cullens wouldn’t get into half the shenanigans they do. that pre-frontal cortex development is vital in making sure someone doesn’t give into impulse, can make thoroughly thought-out decisions, and has proper judgement in a variety of ways. without that, it’s a recipe for disaster (i.e. see: the entirety of The Twilight Saga.)

#the twilight saga #now that what I call a proper waste of time #time to get back to errands before work lmaoooo #mine

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wily-one24 · 6 years ago

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I hope there's not a question limit per ask lol... Paint it Black: 3, 4, 5, 11, 12, 14 and 15 (or as many of those as you feel like answering lol)

Okay, two things.

A. Of *course* there’s no ask limit. I am an attention whore and will talk all day if you encourage me. Ask away!!

B. WTF tumblr? When I reposted that, it was a paragraph basically saying “ask about my fic!”, but now there are NUMBERED QUESTIONS? What? Where was the second half of that post when I came across it in my dash?

ANSWERS

3. What’s your favourite line of narration?

Oh geez. How the hell am I going to answer that? I have favourite lines per chapter, I have favourite lines per scene! Each part I’m reading at any given moment happens to be my favourite. Every time I reread it, I find something new... and... maybe I suck for saying this... but I think “you’re a fucking genius”, then I get all sad, because I think that was probably one of the last great things I’ll write. I’ve been going downhill ever since... but anyways, to seriously answer your question, I’ll give a few examples...

- That face off scene between Regina and Snow, where Snow claims her father was a good man and Regina answers “To you!”, the entire scene is charged and emotional and brings up so much shit between them that was never explored in canon.

- The flashback of Emma’s tenth birthday (technically collectively, all of the flashbacks, really. They’re angsty as fuck, but so formative in their characterisation that sometimes I forget they’re not actually canon). I have this habit of tearing Emma down to her bare bones and then trying to build her up again. I actually do this with most of my main female characters, and I do apologise for that Buffy, Kaylee, Veronica, Emma, and Alex. You all deserve so much better than me.

- The scene where Regina is alone in the castle and revisits the old chamber of Leopold’s. It’s hard to read but that is some weird little cathartic release right there. There is some great imagery that I don’t think many people allow Regina when it comes to her healing. Everybody tends to go the “being married to Leopold was a BAD THING” route, without ever really exploring the day to day soul destroying aspect of it. The reality of being the King’s prisoner wife. But giving her the ability and strength to revisit it, so she can finally acknowledge to herself how damaging it was, to close herself off from it both literally and figuratively, and then to be self aware enough to compare that situation to the one she has Emma in. That is empowerment.

- The parallel scenes of Emma and Henry at the start and the end of the fic. The first being when Henry is so adamant to rescue Emma and curse everyone again just to take them back... and the last where you can see how much indoctrinated he is into the fairy tale land, how much he is drifting from “our world” being the real one, to the fairy tale land being his reality, and how his morality has shifted... but then... he also brings it back by getting vulnerable and shows his concern not just for Emma but for Regina... which also shows great advancement from the child like black/white morality of good vs evil he begins with to an acceptance of a more adult grey-area morality, his willingness to examine the facts and the truth to make up his mind.

All the minor characters... Nancy (sweet, voiced Nancy), and Miss Edith (poor Miss Edith), Rachel, all the little characters that had such minor parts, but had such great effects in the lives of our main characters.

Oooh, writing Rumple was fun. I got to write him as nobody really does. As that creepy reptilian imp from the first few flashbacks in S1. Before they really woobified him. The hysteric giggling, maniacal creature who smelled the air and exuded pure malice. It was really enjoyable writing him like that.

Well, this went terribly off topic... anyway, yes, flashback scenes and confrontation scenes, be they between Snow and Regina, Emma and Regina, Regina and Maleficent, Emma and Snow, Emma and Henry... it’s in emotion that the true power of the fic lives.

4. What’s your favourite line of dialogue?

oh, this is harder than the first. It would take me ages to reread this fic (and now I most likely am, thanks) to really go through it and cherry pick my favourites. But, if a line has happened to truly hit home and resonate with you as a reader, it most likely did the same for me. I remember quite a few times writing this fic, thinking “holy fuck!” and knowing, just knowing, that it was definitely the line to write.

5. What part was the hardest to write?

The first two chapters. Up until the pivotal moment where Regina heals Emma, those were difficult to write and definitely difficult to read. I’ve had many readers tell me they were about to give up, bc it was too much torture porn to enjoy, but that moment specifically was a turning point for them because it built up the trust that I could and would reign Regina in beyond the point of no forgiveness or return.

11. What do you like best about this fic?

I liked writing it.

It took me to some pretty intense places. Fic writing, for me, has always been a form of therapy. I work through to some pretty intense fucking emotions through the angst of it all. Like, no, I have never been magically transported to a fairy tale land, collared, enslaved, and held against my will for the sake of my family and community’s lives... but if you look deeper in my life at the time, I had just been through a pretty horrific pregnancy that nearly killed me, my spouse and I separated, and I was left ill, recovering, and a single mother of a toddler and infant. I felt like I was being ripped apart from all angles, forced into a live of servitude for the betterment of everyone around me at the cost of myself. Even, though, like Emma, I didn’t blame them, it was still a period of mourning and loss.

I didn’t realise it at the time. This revelation happened years later when rereading the fic and trying to see where all the emotions had been coming from. It happens a lot with some of my more intense, dramatic, and (strangely enough) most popular fics. I don’t always see the correlation to my life at the time, but if I look back I can generally trace the rationality behind what my muse was trying to work through.

12. What do you like least about this fic?

The polarisation. The controversy. That fucking chapter fucking four. I still cannot reread that chapter without having to take a step back and breathe. That scene has some good imagery, but even now sometimes I just skip it. It’s not worth the shakes or unease or... ugh, just thinking about it upsets me.

I made a mistake in the tagging and I learned from it, but holy fuck was I attacked at the time and used as a sacrifical cow to the radfems. It was, honestly, surprising to me. Not only the reaction, but the harshness of it, all the accusation and personal attacks aimed at me.

I mean, I knew the fic was always going to be confronting to some. It dealt with some pretty hard issues and subject matter. I had warned for all the violence and non/dub con. But... I didn’t expect or prepare for the backlash in including a male, even if the male used was... just used... and never actually amounted to anything more than a tool for Regina to control/bind/further entrench Emma to her own will in one scene.

I, very naively, went into it thinking “surprise!”, and that an almost canon past pairing that was heavily explored in the actual show would not be controversial in the least. More fool me, I suppose. I definitely went back to re-tag it, I apologised. I am not sure what else I could have done, but to this day this fic is held up as an example of queer baiting and everything wrong with false lesbianism. And it is definitely used as an example by biphobic people as to why bisexual women cannot be trusted as we’re all “really straight women at heart”.

To be fair, I never explicitly labelled the fic as “lesbian”. I begin all my fics (no matter how AU or ‘out there’) from a canon stand point. Meaning, everything that happened in the show up to that point counts. Which includes every prior relationship both Emma and Regina had been in up to the Season One finale. Which, surprise, were with men!!

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I don’t know if there’s anything they should ‘learn’, but I definitely hope readers realise that this is in NO WAY AN EXAMPLE OF A HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIP. It is not meant to be a guide, a ‘how to’, or a ‘goal’. This is an incredibly fucked up way for two already fucked up characters, to find some kind of semblance of existence in a world/s stacked up against them from the very start. I didn’t think I needed to state that out loud, but apparently I had to. Many times.

If not that... then definitely I hope perhaps some of the writing made people think about the characters more in depth, or differently, that it gave the reader a new way of thinking about the show and the storylines/characters in it.

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

Tagging. Tagging fucking matters. Tag properly. Like, just do it.

In all seriousness, though... I think I learned a lot about my own trauma.

I also think my writing developed throughout the fic. There is a definite shift from the first two chapters... you can definitely see where it became less of a short one off smutty fic set up and more of an in depth angsty character exploration of the soul kinda thing.

I learned about set up and development and bringing in stray bits of plot development later in the story to tie up loose ends.

#hope this satisfies #jacqui writes fic #paint it black fic #PIB fic #rowark

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uniformbravo · 8 years ago

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uhh first day of school post

it was fucken hot

seriously why did it have to be 110 degrees right on the week when i start having to go outside again bye

every semester the first thing i say is “i’m never taking an 8 am class ever again”

the second thing i say is “i’m never taking a class on the third floor ever again”

this semester, somehow, through a cruel twist of fate, i have ended up failing both resolutions with two classes each (two classes are at 8 am; two classes are on the third floor; one of them is at 8 am on the third floor)

((i only have 3 classes, there is overlap in the above description))

painting class was cool the teacher was cool i have to pick between oils & acrylics by next tuesday & i have no idea what i want to do

it was super awkward the whole time bc i sat next to this girl & then a couple other girls came in and sat on the other side of me and it was very clear they all knew each other and i could tell the first girl wished she was sitting w/ them but i was too nervous to offer to switch bc there was never a time that felt right so i just spent the whole class feeling like i was in the way so that wasn’t very.... fun

second class was intermediate drawing & ok

this guy is fairly new to teaching, says he graduated calarts a few years ago, and he seems nice & everything but i got the distinct impression that he doesn’t really know how to run a class

which is totally fair since he’s so new to it

but our first assignment is to “revisit” the final from the last art class we took & basically do it again???

not like a literal recreation of exactly what we did last time, he said he wanted us to like do it differently? have more fun with it?? add our own interests into it??? make it represent ourselves????

the more i think about this the more questions marks happen

he did not explain it well

he said he wants to use this to kind of gauge where everyone is at in terms of skill level, but couldn’t he just have done that by having us....... actually...... you know......... bring in our finals from the previous classes........................ instead of having us redo it....................................

this is literally the final project we’re talking about, the big thing that’s due at the end of the semester, the thing we were each given weeks to work on, and when does he want this in by?

wednesday

as in 2 days from now

wednesday

and we were all like “uhhhh can we have some time to work on it in class”

and the thing is, he didn’t even have a set due date, he’s treating this class like a democracy so whenever we were like “so wait when do you want this by” he’d be like “idk what do you guys think?” like i dont know dude!!! you’re supposed to have this shit figured out, we don’t know the scope of the assignment we don’t know the amount of work that should go into it, we don’t know how long it’s going to take, that’s supposed to be on you!! what the hell,

the whole thing was very

unclear

we were all trying to figure out what the fuck he wanted from us and as soon as it started turning into “yeah just bring it in by wednesday” we were all like panicking like “you want a finished recreation of our last class’ final project in two days” so we managed to amend it so we’d have the first half of wednesday’s class to work on it but still jesus??? the whole thing ended with him saying “just bring in a drawing on wednesday, does that sound good?” uh no not really

u want to gauge our skill level but ur only giving us 2 days to show it

buddy ur getting a pencil sketch of an idea that could be cool if i had more time to like refine it n shit

also just because i want to reiterate: if u wanted to see our current skill level why didnt u just have us bring in some of our previous works

like what the fuck

what

aaanyway despite all my complaining i think this could be an.... interesting class??? this is for intermediate drawing by the way, which is the class that i was like “boy i hope this is more interesting than beginning drawing” and hoooo

he said he wants to focus heavily on “conceptual art”, u know, art that has meaning n shit, he explained it as having something to say about the world or something like that, which is. cool i guess. the main thing i kinda latched onto was when he said he wanted to make the class enjoyable for everyone and have us doing drawings we’re interested in, so if the class can follow through on that promise then i’ll be good to go but if he pulls a “every drawing has to have some deep meaning and commentary on the world around us” then i will be. unhappy

i dont even know if he actually does drawings?? i mean he’s from calarts so obviously he has to have done art for that but like when someone asked if he’s gonna show us some of his work he was basically like “um yeah, but i don’t really have a lot, im more into exploring ideas for art than actually making it” and he said he’s into performance art so it’s like. that’s really cool & im happy for you but just curious why are you teaching a drawing class then. like a legitimate actual question tho, how does this class relate to what you do and how u gonna teach us if ur not putting these things into practice yourself

i realize im being kinda harsh because i only spent maybe a little over an hour in this class today so this is really just first impressions talk, like. i could be hugely underestimating him, maybe he is a fantastic teacher and i’ll have a lot of fun with this class??

but even as i type that im remembering other things he said, like how the assignments aren’t gonna be like in other classes where you’re told specifically what to draw or like how the lecture portions are gonna be like a seminar where we discuss art-related topics

it’s just super unconventional and it seems really experimental on his part like he really doesn’t know what he’s doing (which, again, understandable since he’s new and all) so it’ll probably just end up being the weirdest art class i’ve ever taken

and a couple years ago i’d probably have really really hated it just based on the lack of guidance alone, i could see a genuine complaint of this class being “it doesn’t feel like the next step after all the technical work and learning we did in beginning drawing”

but at this point im really intrigued and willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, and i’d rather treat it like an experience than a poorly structured class

and maybe that’s easier for someone in my situation to do since i didn’t really care all that much about this class in the first place so i didn’t have any expectations for it to meet anyway

im literally just taking it to fill my requirements so if it turns out to be an interesting experience then all the better, as long as i can pass

Side Note About The Grading, By The Way

the syllabus has a grading system listed

an A is described as “outstanding work, which exceeds guidelines of assignments, shows technical prowess, creativity, expression, intelligence and personal growth”

a B is “high quality work which meets the guidelines of the assignment”

like is it just me or shouldn’t the latter description be just fine to receive an A??? u did what u were supposed to and it was “high quality” like that is. the definition of an A assignment, the first description should be for an A+ like legitimately is this just me or

and then for a D it’s like “poor quality, little effort or understanding of the assignment” the “understanding” part is throwin me off like if the student didn’t understand the assignment then maybe u should explain it better for them?? i can see poor quality and low effort being good reasons for a low grade but not understanding seems a little unfair

im just getting into specifics now tho

i think im done talking abt this class now

hoo boy

an interesting first day to say the least

#''first day of school post'' or as i like to call it ''immediately complaining about my classes after just one (1) day''#retag later #today posts #school /#sorry i've been making so many school posts i just #need to let it out somewhere #also i love talking abt myself & my life :)

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