#bc that’s the way the world is headed.. everything and everyone owned by Amazon..

[ghwosty]

No for real if you would have told me just 10 years ago that the US based retailer Kohls would still be around and not another victim of “the great brick and mortar chain die-off” I would have asked you what strain were you smoking and can I have some

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/21/2024

get a load of this cat

listening

one of my favorite bands, Joywave, dropped a new album last week! it is not my favorite album of theirs but so it goes. perhaps it needs more time to grow on me. Sleepytime Fantasy kicks off my favorite section of the album. video game enchanted ice cave dream sequence music.

i must stay true to my own rules for this series (not a rec series, genuinely what i've been into the most this week) and the song that's been on loop all week is a genshin impact character's theme music (punchy wolf-coded ice cop who is the duke of the prison he. runs? administers? don't worry about it). unfortunately a bop. the character music lately has been a lot more modern and experimental than i expected? this one has a police siren drop

-

reading

thank you mackintosh.

i really, really enjoyed Trouble And Her Friends by Melissa Scott (LAMBDA award winner 1995)! @delta-orionis and i frequently ask ourselves "what if neuromancer was good?" and this scratches that itch for me. it is often difficult for me to take neuromancer's protagonist henry seriously, but this book features a pair of extremely practical dykes. it opens on the passing of a new american law criminalizing big swathes of online activity, passed despite a presidential veto. description from amazon

Less than a hundred years from now, the forces of law and order crack down on the world of the computer nets. The hip, noir adventurers who get by on wit, bravado, and drugs, and haunt the virtual worlds of the Shadows of cyberspace, are up against the encroachments of civilization. It's time to adapt or die. India Carless, alias Trouble, got out ahead of the feds and settled down to run a small network for an artist's co-op. Now someone has taken her name and begun to use it for criminal hacking. So Trouble returns. Once the fastest gun on the electronic frontier, she had tried to retire-but has been called out for one last fight. And it's a killer.

this startled me by how fun and competent it is! i tried reading one of the author's books last year (Dreamships) and had a miserable time with the pacing and flow of information. there are echoes of the pacing issues i had with the last book-- this is a nearly four hundred page hardcover, we have a lot of Next Locations to go to, and we are going to take our fucking time getting there. a road trip book, rather than a destination book. Scott has gotten way way better at fleshing out those locations— an artists' co-op has their skylights set to amber to hide the wear and tear on everything in their central hangout space when the feds show up. i also connected with the inciting incident way more-- someone stealing a female hacker’s name and style is instantly relatable. i am riding shotgun with Trouble. i am ready to throw down with her.

it's a very physical book in many ways, bc it has three brief sex scenes, is very concerned with sensuality in both senses of the word, and overall it's like the background in an anime that’s full of dials and buttons and little blinky lights. written in 1994, fascjnating how much concepts of VR and sensory inputs have not changed, but everyone still has the equivalent of an enormous old school desktop and giant CRT monitors set up. everyone is constantly lugging around so much physical tech. the stuff that makes you better at hacking in the net is quick reactions to VR sensations, the only way to get that cutting edge sensation is to get a physical chip or “worm” in your head, and the only people who do that are the core outcasts and freaks of the internet (the gays, the women, the people of color, the all three, presumably the furries as well). from that day to this…

there's an interesting contrast between Trouble and her old partner Cerise stalking the virtual reality bazaars/being queens of the BBS undergrounds, and the danger they feel and face when moving about in the real world. some reviewers are very cranky about how negotiations on and offline feel the same but i did not feel this particular quibble. communication is communication. it is known both on and offline that they're 1) women and 2) lesbians. they're in less physical danger online but slurs can still happen no matter where they are. also, i am well used to the necessity of having to posture and peacock and be kind of a bitch to establish myself in order to get anything done in coding/hardware scenes, which is something i don't think any of the male reviewers of the day ever had to think about.

some cowboy shit goes down at the end that had me hooting and hollering, and Scott handled the hacking scenes in an interesting way-- a sort of abstracted duel? terrific "fight" scenes. very interesting at how she will move things around in order to treat scenes in ways she's good at-- like establishing very grounded locations that feel real, physical sensations, and fight scenes-- instead of just kind of slogging through a very surface level high-overview travelogue like in her last book. ive been stuck on a fic chapter for like four years and this is making me think about doing it the fun way instead of the way i thought it should be done. this may be obvious but i am an amateur and more importantly an idiot.

this was a $6/1 book special last year at one of my favorite thrift stores, a religious shop with the absolute worst vibes in the greater houston area but some of the best stuff

-

watching

Five Dolls For An August Moon (1970, dir. Brava). sometimes you see a cool title on kanopy and you don't have a better way to kill an hour and a half. plus it had some guys i know from cowboys. tw for a suicide's body in the first fucking ten seconds of the trailer, which is a weird trailer choice bc u don't actually see most of the murders in the movie.

ive watched a fuck of a lot of spaghetti westerns so i feel i am somewhat qualified to tell you this is one of the worst dubs ive ever seen. the lines actors are quarter-heartedly delivering do not always make a lot of sense and only occasionally match the subtitles. i am assuming this is the original dub, bc kino lorber generally does a pretty okay job restoring things?

this is not a good movie (extremely troubled production, director swap three days before filming, made on a shoestring budget, the actors mostly wore their own clothes, etc). it is not very good at maintaining tension, because it is a film that first and foremost Looks. beautiful fucking sets, beautifully decorated. the exterior is a matte painting, a sort of frothy dream-bubble of sixties architecture. most of the interiors are apparently a real house. incredible experimental burbling soundtrack full of Weird Sounds.

sorry about the tubi interface and our old friend the activate windows logo.

there are so many fun directorial flourishes and staging, but it does get a little wrapped up in itself. this made me think of The Secret of NIMH, a beautifully animated talking-animal film that gave me nightmares as a child, where the animation tricks and sparkles and moving parts sort of all get in each other's way to produce something less than the sum of its parts. this sort of happens here. i'm going to yoink this from a review:

Bava’s eye for exquisite compositions is equally evident. One scene in particular stands out in this regard: The filmmaker shoots an otherwise humdrum fistfight through wooden latticework that breaks the action up into an abstracted mosaic effect. The fight culminates with a table being upended, which in turn unleashes a myriad crystal spheres. The camera follows along as the spheres tumble and cascade down a spiral staircase and roll across a tiled floor before plopping like so many bath bubbles into a tub. The scene concludes with the revelation of a recently deceased character caught in what you’d have to call a tableau morte. It’s a dazzlingly orchestrated sequence, easily on par with more famous Bava set pieces.

it's gorgeous! there's also So Much going on. another lovely bit of business: as each person dies they get wrapped in plastic sheeting and put in the walkin freezer. next to slabs of beef. not a subtle film, and i don't mean it as a diss, bc where's the fuckin fun in that?

-

playing

i have not been doing much of anything here except listen to podcasts and work toward the two-thousand-fish-caught achievement in genshin. impatiently waiting for Clorinde to be released in several weeks. that one button needs a raise. it is So funny to see genshin characters with fucking guns. very sword and pike based societies so far

-

making

every time i have tried to make one of these samplers for Me it's gone horribly wrong or been somehow destroyed so i'm making this one for my brother's upcoming birthday, bc he will have off-campus housing next academic year, in an attempt to peacefully do some fucking cross stitch and get something out at the end of it. pattern here on etsy

[screampied]

Baby im back 😘 did u miss me! i want to vicariously live my supermodel dreams through a tall reader so lesgooooo

Geto: i could see geto being a short girl fucker So when he seems big amazon reader with her long ass legs hes like 🤔 theres a first time for everything!! Maybe she a lil shy so he gets her in the bedroom And the FREAK come out, im talking she spitting in his mouth and throwing it back on him, twerkin her shii like crazy- he's a changed man!! Can u see the vision, him leaned back manspreading while reader sucks the soul outta his dick, his hair mad ratty and sweaty and he flushed af. For some reason he give me heavy model!reader vibes idk i js feel like he'd wanna pretty lil thing like her on his arm

Gojo: office au, ok tbh i feel like gojo sees a woman in heels who is taller than him and he dont know how to act 💀 can def see him teasing her and making fun of her because he tryin to hide his crush and this mf accidentally say the wrong thing and piss her off like no she a grown ass woman she aint takin that shit. He's so loser and pathetic plsss i can just imagine him scrambling to make it up to her and then body worship sex after 😍 maybe even in the office ….

Choso: well if he aint find his mommy 🙄 fr can see him stopping his tall gf just to pull down her tank top so he can suck her tits when she just doing chores or some shit (SAME I WANT)

Nanami. ALRRR HEAR ME OUT, He's such a charming gentleman, maybe theyre chatting at the bar and got a good thing going but oop they stand to leave and reader is taller than and it awakens pervert!nanami. He tryin to be a gentleman bc u know, he respects her but he cant help himself. Maybe they go to dinner and shes all dressed up so he tryin to hold back but plot twist, she match his freak and gives him head under the table so he take her to the bathroom and he fuck her so hard after that 🤩

Sukuna, okkkkk for bitch boy kuna Hmmm im thinking, now hear me out, a modern au like in college and everyone knows kuna as the cold tough guy and he fuckin loyal like a dog so like everyone knows he got a gf but they never seen her. Cue one night he brings her along and she's a knockout like deadass model type shit and oh boy here comes loverboy!kuna like its day and night the way he treats her v everyone else like he's huggin and kissin her up and in their own lil world.

Toji: he see a tall girl and immediately check the booty out 😤 i feel it in my soul. Probably got her doing standing 69 where he holdin her upside down bc she tall so she the perfect height to suck him off while he eat her out. Manhandling vibessss man tryin to be the best fuck of her life 🤪

-🤭 anon

TALL READERS GET UR FOOD OMG

i’m gonna imagine i’m like 5’9 😽

i can def see suguru into taller women omg . he has yummy tasteeeee. FREAKY READER AGENDA >>>> wait … u just put smth in my head ???? throwing it back ???? ON SUGRUUUU?? he’d be so nasty gawwwddfd. (takes notes) sitting in his mouth is crazy 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ my type. oooo he’d totally go for model readers i see it so bad. suguru manspread always does smth to me

YEPPPP satoru loves a women w long legs n heels ☝🏽☝🏽. it makes sense bc he’s tall asf also. ur so right he’d be so annoying teasing his tall s/o but when she teases back he’d get all pouty like ???? OFFICE MAKE UP SEX YUM YUM

choso 🥹🥹🥹. i feel like tall women would intimidate him a bit but he can be dom if he wants to !!!

NANAMISOELPHPDGOHKJ. pervert nanami agenda 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️. loooooves a tall girl. loved to wrap his arms around her n everything. i bet he likes to kiss all down her thighs / legs.

SUKUNA AND TOJI R SO REAL. sukuna’s big as shit so i’d be kinda scared 🤰. toji i’m crying. honestly ya he’d stare at the ass first. i bet toji loves tall women too, esp if they’re a little curvy 😞 STANDING 69 IS INSANE ????? real he’s a freak bitch so i get it. toji would def fuck his tall gf while standing doesn’t care how tall u are. will manhandle u all day 😞😞😞😞

[usertiff]

(for the meme) Nathalie Kelley

oh my goodness she's BEAUTIFUL okay here we go

SEND ME FCS YOU COULD PICTURE ME PLAYING AND I’LL CREATE A CHARACTER RIGHT ON THE SPOT (or way later bc i'm slow)

BASICS

𝘕𝘈𝘔𝘌: Rosella "Ella" Vásquez 𝘈𝘎𝘌 & 𝘋𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘖𝘍 𝘉𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘏: 37 & March 30th (Aries) 𝘗𝘓𝘈𝘊𝘌 𝘖𝘍 𝘉𝘐𝘙𝘛𝘏: Abilene, Kansas, United States 𝘊𝘜𝘙𝘙𝘌𝘕𝘛 𝘙𝘌𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘌: Abilene, Kansas, United States 𝘎𝘌𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 & 𝘗𝘙𝘖𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘕𝘚: cis woman, she/her 𝘚𝘌𝘟𝘜𝘈𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘠: bisexual with a preference for women 𝘖𝘊𝘊𝘜𝘗𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕: restauranteur 𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘕𝘐𝘊𝘐𝘛𝘠: peruvian and argentinian 𝘍𝘈𝘊𝘌𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘐𝘔: Nathalie Kelley

Ella grew up in what felt like small town hell. She dreamt of being anywhere but here. She couldn't understand why her grandparents moved all the way from a place of paradise (hello ocean, hello Amazon Rainforest?!), to a flat, landlocked nightmare.

That being said, she took off as soon as she could to travel the world. She'd been saving every cent she'd ever made in her parent's little convenience shop since she was a kid, and every cent she'd made in retail as a teenager. It added up pretty nicely, and there was nothing her parents could to stop her.

She didn't make it very far, however. She quickly learned that she was terrified of the ocean even when all she had to do was fly over it, and the heat didn't agree with her.

Next attempt was to simply move away. By 21, she was settling down in Wichita, Kansas. She had her heart broken way too many times, worked a job that killed her mind even more than her feet, but the final straw that broke her back and got her back to her hometown was having her little apartment robbed. She was just lucky enough that with everything missing, her feline companion who'd escaped during the burglary, came back.

Returning home was like a breath of fresh air. It was small, it was run down, but the sun seems like it's always shining and everyone smiles as they pass you. For once, it didn't seem like small town hell, but rather that feeling in your chest when you come home after a long day of work to cozy up in your own space.

While she felt more at place here, she still didn't feel like she know who she was, what she wanted out of life. Then, her grandmother passed. All she could think about was her memories with the woman she was named after; cooking, baking, sitting on the porch and talking about literally anything she felt like. She couldn't cook anymore without crying, feeling sorrow for the person she'd lost. But then, practically hearing her grandmother's scolding voice in her head, she knew it was doing her no good.

That's when she decided cooking shouldn't make her feel sad, but happy. It should serve her well to feed herself and others, and keep her grandmother alive in this way. It clicked. She knew what she wanted to do.

So, she used the rest of her savings (which she's always been good at), and opened Lugar de Rose in honor of her grandparents.

[helliontherapscallion]

Headcanons for SBI Sibling!Parrot Hybrid!Reader

(A/N): ope, went a little overboard with this one (also it’s not proofread, so sorry about any mistakes)

You have wings on your back (the feather pattern depends on what parrot floats your boat)

If you’re a Scarlet Macaw, Blue-and-Yellow Macaw, or Chestnut-Fronted Macaw, then you have black lines on your cheeks and heavy black lines around your eyes (think Hawks from bnha but less pointy)

If you are a Hyacinth Macaw, you have yellow markings around your eyes and mouth

If you’re a cockatiel, you have a killer mohawk/hair that is always very pointy and orange circles on your cheeks (how cute!)

I have a feeling that your hair is incredibly soft

Very sensitive wings

I feel like your teeth would be sharp and your nails would normally be fast-growing, long, and sharp

You tilt your head like impossibly far when you’re confused or trying to hear something better

Like your ear would almost be touching your shoulder

The head movements are very jerky and kinda just happen on their own when you hear something so you would have a lot of neck pain : (

You’re allergic to chocolate : (

I feel like people would underestimate you greatly and think you’re nothing except the ditzy comedic relief

Parrots are actually very intelligent

It bums you out to hear people say things like that behind your back when they think you can’t hear, but you try to not let them get to you

You give the best cuddles and are very affectionate with the people you’re close to (you’re also very cautious of strangers)

You’re also very in tune with the emotions of the people around you

You see someone sad? Head nuzzles and wing hugs

You see someone angry? You deescalate the situation the best you can and make sure they’re ok afterwards

You can dilate and contract your pupils rapidly at will

You may or may not stare at people doing it until they notice you staring or until they get creeped out

You fuck hard with any type of seed, nut, or fruit

When you get excited, it’s literally so cute??

Like you do everything parrots do

Little happy pitter patters with your feet, flutter your wings, your pupils contract and dilate rapidly, you make a ton of mob sounds

You’re easily excitable, hyper, and happy most of the time

It makes everyone happy to see you so excited so they would often go out of their way to get you things that make you happy

“Hey (y/n) I have some extra melon seeds if you want em!”

*Pupils contract and dilate rapidly*

You are loud

Like very loud

And very talkative

Like everyone knows where you are at all times

If you’re quiet and they know you’re around, either something is very wrong or they’re about to get pranked

God forbid you start to scream, your scream is loud enough to deafen someone for a brief amount of time and would leave everyone’s ears ringing for days on end

The mere mention of yours and Tommy's names together in one sentence is enough to give Philza a headache (someone give this poor man a couple of advils and a long vacation)

You two are literal demons when you’re together

Very chaotic relationship

You both like to fuck with people by sneaking up behind them

You would make mob sounds and Tommy would jump them before you two made a break for it

You and Tommy almost got killed by Techno a few times, but in your opinion the look on his face was 100% worth it every time

I feel like you would cart him up and down from the towers he builds

He could relate to being stereotyped as the stupid loud one, so he recognizes right away when you’re sad about it and will try to cheer you up

His main go to is the jukebox

Oh my god if he plays his jukebox around you, you go full send with your dancing

*AGGRESSIVE HEADBANGING*

He would laugh at your awful dancing, but he would join you eventually

Cat and Mellohi go hard

Speaking of music, Wilbur uses you as a walking soundboard

He needs a sound sample? You better prepare for spending most of your day recreating the sound

He needs back up vocals? You spend most of your day listening to his voice and other singers so you could replicate it

You don’t want to disappoint him so you try extra hard to appease his picky music composition

You kinda stress yourself out over it sometimes

When he notices (which he will, he’s very perceptive), he immediately calls it a day and has some sibling bonding time

You both bond over liking to eat strange things

Amazon macaws like to lick clay deposits on riverbanks so you like to have some on you at all times to lick when you get stressed

Wilbur carries some in a bag in his pocket and you carry a bag of sand 

Whenever one of you notices the other has a rough day, you give each other your respective stuff

You have to be sneaky with it though, Philza always takes away nonedible stuff from his children if he sees them trying to eat it (he has good intentions tho)

It always looks like a drug deal 

With Techno, I feel like he would find you incredibly annoying at first with how loud you are

He would actually start to hate you when you started to sneak up behind him 

It got to the point to whenever he would hear your voice he would get irrationally mad and have to leave the house for a few hours

He, like everyone outside your family, would think you were useless and incredibly stupid

That was until he passed Tommy’s room one day and overheard you crying and telling Tommy about your insecurities

He would spend the next few days ignoring you bc he felt bad

He would spend those days contemplating on why he treated you like he did

Coming to the realization that you were likely trying to get closer to him and you were just being yourself, making him feel like the biggest piece of shit

He totally had no idea how to confront you about this, so naturally he went to Philza (that man was literally so happy that his children were gonna start to get along)

He would spend the day gathering golden melons because he found out that you’d never tried golden melons before from Philza

When he approached you one day with an apology and some golden melons, you were suspicious at first

He hated you, so why would he get you these things if he didn’t need anything from you?

Quickly finding that his apology is genuine and he felt incredibly bad for treating you like that over the years

You picked up on his guilt pretty quickly and made quick work to reassure him

He would take you on short trips and would soon find that you’re very useful in detecting mobs and deterring creepers with cat noises

He would never admit it, but he loves it when you would scare Tommy or Wilbur, thinking it’s hilarious 

You also found out that carrying a seven and a half foot tall piglin hybrid was incredibly difficult to do, especially when flying

You two managed to get only about ten feet above the ground before your wings gave out under the strain and you fell on him

“(Y/n) has earned the achievement ‘When Pigs Fly’” flashed on everyone’s comm tablets that day

That wasn’t fun trying to explain to Philza

Philza would be ecstatic to have someone to fly with that he didn’t have to carry

He would take you on flights when you had too much energy 

Sometimes racing each other and competing to do tricks midair (which sometimes you both rope your brothers into judging)

Late night flights when you need to get your mind off from something

Watching the sunrise together in silence for once

Bonding over being able to see ultraviolet light when everyone else couldn’t

You always give him the shiny things you come across and he gives you your favorite snacks

He always fusses over your wings, sometimes preening them for you

Helping each other through molts

Matches your excitement sometimes when you’re really happy

You feel bad whenever you hear stories of how difficult you were as a baby

He’s quick to reassure you that raising you was worth it and you turned out to be a great person

But he wouldn’t be lying when he said you were a difficult infant

Your terrible twos stage? His literal hell

Philza swears he can still hear ringing from whenever you would throw tantrums as a toddler, even years after you left your toddler age

He also still has some scars from when you went through your biting phase (teething was awful for you, his poor baby)

But he’s happy he was the one that raised you, he genuinely enjoys your presence

If you’re in a really affectionate mood he is more than willing to let you cuddle up to him while he reads a book or something

WING HUGS WING HUGS WING HUGS WIN-

When he’s had a long day and is stressed out, you immediately pick up on that and do everything in your power to make sure your brothers are quiet and behaved, try to find out what made him so stressed, and sometimes go out of your way to take care of it for him

You try to be the one taking care of him for once as much because he’s taken care of you so well throughout the years

He can tell if you’re overwhelmed or upset just with one glance at your ruffled feathers and your rapidly dilating and contracting pupils

Immediately pulling you out of the situation and letting you talk it out

Whenever he finds you sad about your insecurities, he points out every part of your personality that he loves

That’s before he hunts down the person that made you feel like this (he really lives up to his title of ‘The Angel of Death’)

Overall, you wouldn’t trade your family for the world

[blossom-hwa]

Okay I'm super sorry if I'm requesting too many things but I was listening to holiday music while driving home from work yesterday and was suddenly struck by the need for some chaotic holiday/winter shenanigans with the boyz, if that's okay? Reader involvement isn't necessary! Pretty please and thank you sooo much ❤❤❤ -🌻

You’re not requesting too many things don’t worry Sunny!!! I literally owe you everything for half the fics I’ve written in the past year so there’s no way I could refuse, also this is what the drabble game is for!! I hope you enjoy this half-baked bullshit LMAO

3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

(don’t think I've mentioned it but all of these text aus are in the same universe lol)

(also this ended up not being as holiday-ish as you probably wanted.... SORRY)

~

Title: Holiday Shenanigans

Pairing: no pairings, just the boyz being dumb

Triggers: a lot of cursing

~

quick clarification:

papi: sangyeon

angel: jacob

moon scribblez: kevin

new kid: chanhee

starbucks tissues: changmin

sundae: sunwoo

bread: younghoon

the better hyun: hyunjae

the better jae: eric

professional rollerblader: juyeon

foodie: haknyeon

~

new kid: I'm going to commit murder

sundae: who’s he making empty threats about this time

new kid: IT’S NOT AN EMPTY THREAT

moon scribblez: who wants to hear about the cockroach that fucking crawled out of my mop today!!

papi: pls don’t tlalk about it I was scarred for life

moon scribblez: IT’S YOUR TUTORING CENTER IT’S Y O U R FAULT WE HAVE A COCKROACH INFESTATION

papi: it’s not an infestation Kevin

new kid: is no one going to pay attention to my murder

angel: I will! but I won’t be an accessory

moon scribblez: I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER

moon scribblez: THAT THING WAS HUGE IT WAS MORE LIKE A SPIDER JFC

new kid: I love you jacob

moon scribblez: IF I SHAKE THE FUCKING MOP TODAY AND COCKROACHES CRAWL OUT I’M QUITTING MY FUCKING JOB

angel: love you too <3

sundae: /barfs/

papi: #1 sunwoo just bc you’re allergic to emotion doesn’t mean the rest of us are

papi: some of us are capable of love

new kid: JI CHANGMIN ISN’T

papi: #2 I don’t own the center I'm just the center director therefore I do not take responsibility for any possible infestations we may have

starbucks tissues: I heard my name :D

new kid: sTOP FUCKING TERRIFYING ME WHEN I’M JUST TRYING TO WORK

new kid: IT’S ALMOST C H R I S T M A S HALLOWEEN IS G O N E

papi: therefore take it up with the owners @ moon scribblez

starbucks tissues: but it’s always halloween :(

moon scribblez: I TOOK THE MOP TO THE SINK

moon scribblez: PUT IT THERE AND TURNED ON THE FAUCET

moon scribblez: A FUCKING BROWN SPIDER-LOOKING COCKROACH BITCH ASS C R A WL E D OUT

moon scribblez: AND YOU WON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY??????????

papi: I just deal with the parents and the kids not bugs

new kid: it is NOT ALWAYS FUCKING HALLOWEEN

new kid: IF YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE

new kid: CELBRATE C RH SI T MA S 

moon scribblez: time to pin it on ella

starbucks tissues: :(

sundae: now look what you’ve done chanhee

sundae: you’ve made him sad

new kid: I GOT TERRIFIED BY A NUN MASK AND YOU CARE ABOUT IF H E’ S SAD????????????????

starbucks tissues: :(

angel: I think I'm going to head out

angel: I don’t think even I can heal this rift

moon scribblez: well if jacob’s out I'm out

moon scribblez: I have a solution to my problems 

papi: just don’t get me involved

moon scribblez: no promises !

starbucks tissues: I can scare ella if you want kevin :)

moon scribblez: YES FUCKING PLEASE

papi: I'm going to get fired

moon scribblez: maybe so :D

new kid: no one cares about my problems I see

new kid: everyone hates me

sundae: ya it’s bc you’re the new kid

new kid: I exist only for pain 

~

bread: so hyunjin told me to tell changmin to stop using various horror movie masks to terrify him at work

starbucks tissues: so out of work is fair game?

bread: idk he didn’t specify

bread: probably

starbucks tissues: :D

the better hyun: oh what the fuck this shit isn’t normal

the better hyun: it’s impossible for someone to be so cute but so terrifying

starbucks tissues: I'll take that as a compliment :D

the better hyun: it isn’t but whatever makes you happy ig

the better jae: changmin

the better jae: I only ask that you leave the nun mask and chucky doll at home when we have our christmas party

starbucks tissues: well that’s no fun :(

bread: changmin I'm sorry but your idea of fun is very different from ours

bread: Jacob back me up

angel: I'm sorry changmin but he’s right :(

starbucks tissues: :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

the better hyun: by the way for the party

the better hyun: who’s doing what???????

the better jae: I'm bringing the xbox!!

foodie: I'm bringing cookies !

papi: I'm cooking with Kevin and juyeon

professional rollerblader: yes it’s going to be fun

professional rollerblader: Kevin says he’s going to make a cheesecake

the better jae: can I save a piece for jisung??

moon scribblez: if we don’t eat all of it

new kid: why

new kid: why did I just hear screaming from the tutoring center

moon scribblez: oH MY GOD SANGYEON

professional rollerblader: TAHT WAS GLORIOUS

sundae: what happened

foodie: why do you only show up for chaos

sundae: I only exist for chaos nothing else is worth my time

the better jae: fair enough

angel: what happened? I thought I saw someone fall ??

angel: but I'm across the walkway so idk :(

angel: is everyone all right?

papi: I think I have a concussion

moon scribblez: oh please you just fell off a tiny stepladder

professional rollerblader: can’t believe sangyeon just fell off a stepladder trying to put up a fucking Christmas stocking 

papi: I hate christmas

papi: I hate everything

moon scribblez: the kids are laughing

moon scribblez: I think I'm going to bust a lung

papi: my dignity has been stripped and I no longer want to live

the better hyun: wait juyeon why are you even there 

the better hyun: you don’t even tutor

foodie: ‘does she even go here’

the better jae: ‘does she even go here’

foodie: ERIC

the better jae: HAK

sundae: oh wow amazing their brain cells conjoined into one single coherent thought and of course it had to be a mean girls reference

starbucks: how did this start out with younghoon telling me to stop scaring hyunjin at work

bread: honestly I don’t know

~

moon scribblez: winter break is upon us

moon scribblez: and I can now bask in the fact that I don’t have to teach spoiled rich assholes basic math for two whole weeks !

papi: speak for yourself

moon scribblez: your fault for being center director

angel: I hate to agree with Kevin and be mean but you really did bring that upon yourself sangyeon

papi: want death

professional rollerblader: no don’t die! we need your food for the party tomorrow

papi: can’t believe all you care about is my food not even me

sundae: did you expect anything different

papi: on a regular basis no

papi: but it’s the holiday season

new kid: holidays are a social construct made to force us into the world of capitalism and giving our money to fat fucking corporations like amazon

starbucks tissues: if I could give Jeff Bezos a heart attack with my nun mask I would

new kid: that’s the only use of that mask that I approve of

starbucks tissues: turn around

the better jae: was that

the better jae: was that new

bread: I don't think I've ever heard chanhee scream that loud

foodie: I’m at the food court and I heard that what the fuck

foodie: the build a bear is like all the way down the mall what the fuck

starbucks tissues: :)

bread: I think that scream rivaled changmin’s dolphin levels

sundae: brb still dying of laughter

sundae: I'm so happy I caught that on video

new kid: Kim sunwoo

new kid: don’t you fucking dare

sunwoo: [ 1 video attached ]

new kid: someone’s dying tonight

professional rollerblader: I can’t believe I missed this I'm so mad

foodie: I think the fake Santa Claus looking over in abject horror just adds to it

starbucks tissues: ^^^

new kid: someone’s dying tonight

angel: there there

angel: no one’s dying tonight

new kid: someone IS

new kid: AND NOT EVEN JACOB CAN STOP ME

the better jae: bet changmin’s mask can

new kid: I'm ripping that fucking mask to shreds

starbucks tissues: :(

bread: now he’s hugging the fucking mask like it’s his baby 

bread: [ 1 image attached ]

the better hyun: as I have said before

the better hyun: it is not normal for someone to look that cute while holding a fucking horror movie mask

papi: I've come to accept that none of you are normal

papi: I think it’s best for your sanity to accept that too

moon scribblez: I'm so late but I'm also rolling on the floor with laughter

papi: can confirm he’s actually on the floor

papi: Kevin you give our center a bad name

moon scribblez: I deadass do not care

moon scribblez: you gave me ashley today so I'm giving you chaos

moon scribblez: suck it <3

angel: she can’t be that bad?????????

moon scribblez: Jacob I know you’re an angel

moon scribblez: but you don’t understand

angel: I guess I don’t :/

~

foodie: I'm going into a food coma!

foodie: don’t attempt to contact me for the next twenty four hours peace <3

sundae: we wouldn’t have in the first place

foodie: :(

angel: sunwoo don’t be mean :(

sundae: fine

sundae: sorry hak

foodie: :)

new kid: the power of one Jacob bae

starbucks tissues: he prevents wars with just his smile

bread: all hail the angel

the better jae: *bows*

angel: guys pls

moon scribblez: no they’re right

moon scribblez: he took me home last night when I was drunk off my ass

moon scribblez: a true angel

angel: guys pls I'm blushing :(

papi: can confirm ! I'm sitting next to him

papi: also he made me hangover soup so can confirm the angel bit too

professional rollerblader: honestly if Jacob wasn’t here we wouldn’t have survived last night

professional rollerblader: he de-escalated Mario kart

professional rollerblader: stayed sober

professional rollerblader: took people home

foodie: all hail Jacob bae

the better jae: I thought you were in a food coma?????

foodie: came back to pay my respects to our lord and savior Jacob bae

the better jae: ok valid

angel: g u y s

the better hyun: has this conversation just become an all hail Jacob bae conversation

moon scribblez: do you want to fucking argue about it

the better hyun: no on the contrary

the better hyun: I'm joining

the better hyun: alL HAIL JACOB BAE

papi: amen

moon scribblez: aMen

professional rollerblader: a fucking men

angel: I'm going to start crying guys pls

new kid: NO DON’T CRY

starbucks tissues: Jacob don’t cry :(((((((((

angel: you guys are so sweet I can’t not cry

papi: I'm hugging him now no more crying

the better jae: two bros, chillin in a hot tub

the better jae: no feet apart bc they’re secure in their masculinity and love each other very much <3

moon scribblez: FIVE FEET APART BC THEY’RE NOT GAY

moon scribblez: fuck

the better jae: YOU RUINED IT

the better jae: yOU BITCH

professional rollerblader: didn’t Jacob call us sweet like one minute ago?

new kid: well he’s an angel he sees the best in us

sundae: there’s no best in you bitch

new kid: oh fuck you

bread: great way to end the holiday season ig

[linipik]

Ooo, whats Nyxs plans for Adam? How do the others feel about their Roman counterparts (and whats Lances reaction to Alluras bf)? Do the romans tell Allura about Lotor?

Voltron x PJO AUpart 1 | part 2 | part 3 | Part 4

As always, i am sorry for my writing, i am no writer. and sorry for taking so long in updating this AU.It is written the same way I narrate to myself but the general of the story is all there! (and I think this is the longest part to date)

RECAP TIME:

Shiro, Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hun are Greek demigods, Allura is a Roman Demigod. Their quest is about finding Matt and getting to Mount Othrys  since it is appearing because rough demigods *cough* Lotor guiding the Romans *cough* are siding with Kronos because the Gods have gone radio silent for WAY too long. Reah helped Allura to get to Camp Half Blood and meet the Greeks because she doesn’t want his husband to pit demigods against the gods anymore  but she made Allura promise to not reveal the the thing about camp Jupiter existing… They parted on their quest, had a couple of bonding moments *WINK*  and when they got to the Gods Junkyard they met some roman demigods who were scrapping for weapons and who attacked team voltron only to be saved by MATT (accompanied with other demigods  surviving away from any of the camps). 

Under the cut is how it all follows

FIRSTLY lets move to Tartarus:Adam FELL…into tartarus only to be found by Nyx on her flying chariot and Adam convinced her that he was more valuable alive. 

Nyx took Adam as errand boy in tartarus in exchange of the death mist thing and you know, not dying. Doing that he found the hermes shrine and he tried to contact his father or anyone without much success for MONTHS but at least there he got some food, so…yeah, it wasn’t all that bad. But of course the more he tried to contact his father , and after not getting an answer, it really seemed the gods couldn’t care less about their half human children and it can make anyone feel angry and unimportant.

Every single soul on tartarus has a thing against zeus and demigods and he always said like “ im just the messenger i dont care”, but since everyone is so bored they kept asking him about what got him there. But he had to be careful af bc telling dangerous ancient souls about how much he missed his bf a son of zeus (or ex boyfriend he is not sure) was SO not an option. BUT was by meeting these ppl that he met one of those kings that have escaped tartarus in the past and BOI did that gave him faith. It was possible. The thing is  being in tartarus is weakening for a demigod, repeating yourself enough times that you are NOT dead is not enough to believe.. you are not dead. He rly wants a way out and, after all, Adam is the son of Hermes, god of travellers and the only god to be able to travel from the land of the dead to….anywhere so he had to channel he had that in himself, he only needed a way to get OUT. One of the days he is in the Hermes shrine he gets a dream on how to get out there: One of the non guarded, full of monster, secret doors to the mortal world through the labyrinth.

That is when he sets on that journey and finds in the entrance to the labyrinth/ exit from tartarus. He also finds in that exact point a adamantine sword: perseus sword (not percy riptide. Perseus,) a harpe giving to the olden hero by hermes, (The harpē  was a type of sword or sickle; a sword with a sickle protrusion along one edge near the tip of the blade made of the indestructible metal adamantine , check it out it is pretty cool). The sword is cool and all but as always with demigods, when something good happens it only means something worse it’s on its way. And finding a weapon is bad news and everyone knows it.AND THAT is how Adam got out of tartarus. By then a year or so has passed and it is basically in the same moment hour 6 heroes start their own quest.

NOW..There are romans demigods with Matt, they recognise Allura  and don’t really trust her because they kind of think she is with Lotor, but Matt is like, NAH she is with MY friends , with MY sister and they trust she so, she is alright and while they are camping in some safe part of the junkyard Matt explains to Voltron team about how camp half blood is not the only camp, and that there are…more ways a demigod can survive away from camp, there are the amazons and the hunters and all kind of side places created by demigods for demigods where they can feel safe. 

They all then look at Allura who is relieved she can come clean to her quest mates, but then then she is confused by why Romans are attacking them, and some of the demigods who are with Matt say it is Lotor (who..it really is but Allura didn’t know is siding with kronos) and Allura is like “No no, it can’t be, Lotor is thoughtful and charming and a great leader who will always have his reasons and wants the best for Camp Jupiter and he is a real Hero “ half flustered and Lance sees that Allura actually...like-like this Lotor. Who seems to be La creme de la creme in the Roman camp while Lance is a rookie demigod, not really a fighter, on his first quest and he has been about to die most times than all of the others together in the past like 3 days.. 

And Lance just goes by…oh because he wanted Allura to like him because he was really liking her and the way she seems a full flagged fighter and leader. BUT still in a very Lance way he sides with Allura in front of everyone including the demigods who are not trusting her, “ of course she is not doing this to harm other kids, she has risked her life for us and she could enter camp halfblood so she is good and full of good intentions and Reah herself guided her to us so she is great”. AND Keith is like….oh because it seems Lance really likes Allura  and even if they were hitting it off with the Pegasi maybe it was all in his head and Lance would like more someone like Allura who is actually thoughtful and not him who doesn’t know where his head is half the time :’)So..how to get from Arizona to Mount Othrys without being spotted by rough demigods, the romans AND all kind of monsters ON TIME? The only answer they find is The Labyrinth that is equally dangerous but could keep them away from revealing their position and their plan to the Romans. The idea is that Allura gets to camp Jupiter and confront Lotor …without being detected so she cant be stopped by Lotor….right handsMatt navigated trough it enough to suggest it is possible to get everywhere from there, Shiro is having a mental breakdown because he doesn’t want to get inside it again but he is good at hiding his feelings and be a Good Leader ™ But Matt is gonna keep with the demigods trying to slow down the romans and monsters while mount ostrys just gets more powerful and to distract them from the real quest with team voltron.

…And Pidge. Pidge is like NOUP I promised Athena I will bring you back alive and I found you and I wont Let You Go Again, We are heading back to camp because that is the only logical solution. Nothing says WE have to keep in this quest and we can go back regroup in camp half blood and live to fight another day with a better plan.But Matt has changed a lot since he went out on his quest with Shiro and Adam and he has met these amazing demigods and  he tells her there are many things worth fighting for that thinking with her heart is equally important, and that they will meet again in camp Jupiter.In the Labyrinth!So yeah everyone kind of say their good byes and goes separate ways entering the labyrinth, technically they were set on following monsters (brilliant plan) because they are being kind of called by mount Othrys. As you know, the labyrinth is a fucking mess and without a real way to navigate it it is impossible to be completely sure what is going on, It changes and it seemed it was fuckin with them. After an incident with some flesh eating horses and trying to get away from rough demigods and monster trying to get them to the gladiator arena, a big attack from a Kampe it all goes to hell. 

They found themselves in a REALLY  small passage where SHiro is having a problem with his mechanical arm and hunk is trying to see what made it high-wire so much ,Lance started to get on his own, because he is brave and he could get them out of there and maybe he just have to knock on that weird rock door with a strange painting. That is when the painting in the wall started to look more than real and the Kampe spotted Lance first of course, and while he froze at the giant horrible monster who was destroying the walls and the floor and everything in the small passage materialising in front of him, Allura saved his sorry ass (again) controlling the mist as well as she could, but since she has been more worried about the entire Lotor siding with Kronos thing, it is not…as effective as it should. Pidge is trying to REALLY work up  an exit, and thinking quick she tells allura to distract the Kampe with copies of them while they escape from the roof. BUT the Kampe is not fooled and When Allura and Pidge  are the closest to the improve exit on the roof, Shiro and Hunk are about to get decked, Lance in one of his hero complex things gets the full attention of the monster again and Keith goes by OH No. Not. Again. and gets Lance out of the way. Lance is getting really furious with Keith bc it is the zillion time Keith takes him out of the way  of a fight, as if he was not able to do things himself. The beast is attacking Keith now, frustrated that his precious prey got away and makes the floor crumble with Shiro and Hunk sliding further down, Allura Pidge and Lance got into the way of the roof and keith is channelling all that energy, the one that made him get to shiro back in his first quest, and he is able to step on the rock doorway disappearing from the monster. 

Shiro and Hunk end up together in one of the most ancient parts of the labyrinth, dark, smelling like wet earth and little breathing space….,and poor shiro who was trying so hard to keep calm is 5 minutes into losing it completely , he, a son of zeus is underground, feels trapped and thinking they can end up in the gladiator arena again is driving him a bit too insane. Hunk is seeing this and does what he does best, try to get how the current problem works, bu this time is not some piece of metal but it is Shiro’s entire existence. ANd for all that is worth, Hunk is really good at coming trough for others in pinch moments.

Lance Pidge and Allura end up together navigating the most tedious part of the labyrinth. dumb monsters marching to the same place  and they cant do anything but follow them with the help of allura’s mist to disguise them and praying Lance natural monster magnetism doesn’t get them killed…and the only door they find ends up in the middle of a GIANT field, so no help. It is tedious af and it just gets MORE tedious by their current situation: Allura is  trying to get the mist to work for her but she is having a hard time concentrating after learning her family, the romans and…Lotor are behind Kronos getting stronger. 

Lance is  trying his best on keeping not only alive but showing he has everything to be a hero, but honestly he is debuting everything he knew about himself, He has been about to drown, he froze in front of a monster, he never knows what is going on. He has no quest experience like shiro and keith, he is not good at solving puzzles like Pidge or repairing stuff like Hunk, not to mention he had no idea about the romans or any of the problems Allura is having but he still tries hard to be the charming demigod who is no afraid of anything and is there to support her every move. Even tho he knows…it has been Keith the whole time who has been taking him away of fights the entire time, even fixing his mess of waking the Kampe, probably for the best because maybe…just maybe…Aphrodite kids where not mean to be on quests after all.)

Pidge, is just looking at the horizon like she is in the office. Matt might be her beloved brother, but seeing how they all are thinking with their hearts and that is making them terrible for this quest is another level. And Lance,…lance is ranting to her how he could totally go against Kampe if Keith did not interfere again and again. BUT Pidge knows that Keitth has a problem with Lance being in danger and it is not because Lance is not capable exactly and more with Keith crushing hard on Lance, So she yeah, she is trying to side with Keith here out of solidarity and convince Lance that Keith is not trying to sabotage him or any of those things. That maybe Lance could learn from keith and spend more time with him maybe (wingman pidge ftw)

Keith ended up alone in the labyrinth and after being able to use again his  doorway powers he finds himself in a room with two doors and a doorman in the middle of them. The two faced doorman is Janus himself ask him which is the door he is gonna go, which decision is the correct one since he will have to make The Choice of His Life in the future….and inpatient Keith start asking Janus ALL the questions at once starting by “what was that?”, “what does his coin means?”,”what was his mother relationship with Janus?”, “that he knows about the romans and that it is unfair he didn’t knew before” and blablabla. And janus is like,one of this doors give you all answers, the other takes him to certain death and Keith goes by coin flipping decision time in hopes he could trick Janus into revealing the correct one since he figure out Janus is just trying to fuck with his head. And surprise! the moment he flipped the coin it transformed into an imperial gold gladius and keith basically surprises janus, Keith goes to stab him and janus just disappears through one door and keith in a moment of good judgement goes to the other because Janus of course went trough the door that would kill Keith. SO…he gets to the door with the answers BIG GASPSO

Back to Hunk and Shiro are in one of the ancient marts of the maze and they start walking thanks to Hunk who was prepared to go into a really dark place and has scraps from Hephaestus Junkyard. And in one of those rm=emote parts of the Maze, they start hearing talking, HUMANS talking, to be precise demigods and it means it is the same kind of demigods that are working with monsters and trying to get Kronos back and Shiro is like protector mode ACTIVATE and is ready to fight them as soon as the turn one corner but the  demigods sound like they are..discussing between them SO they end up getting as close as they want to hear what they are talking about and SHiro just stops dead on his trail as he recognises one of the demigods….it is Adam.

and Shiro NOW stops breathing. So hunk resolves that the best approach is NO fighting so he kind of goes in making himself appear he is on their side  playing innocent and that some leader needs them BUT Adam recognises him from camp and Adam gets Hunk is Lying. He is about to knock Hunk out and… shiro interferes. So you know this is the first time they see each other after their fight back before Shiro was captured and made a champion, before Adam went to tartarus and Back. (their fight was about how shiro is always playing the hero and getting himself and everyone around him into dangerous shit and how Adam was playing it safe and never wanting to risk more than he should. BOth were correct) Adam: I thought you were dead Shiro: I thought YOU were deadAnd it ends up being the Most Awkward Reunion in the world. like Hunk thought they were gonna be fireworks and tears and a kiss but it  is nothing like that. They fall directly into quest mode because talking about their feelings is recognising their previous fight and that they separated.Adam stares at shiro new scar/arm/hair all the time and Shiro stares at adam new sword/dark circles under his eyes and he is always On Edge. Both look tired and terrible. .Hunk is like, OKAY good the update but we should be thinking on getting to the others!! and Adam tells them that the baddies have a way to navigate the Labyrinth accurately : clear eyed mortals who are in danger and shiro is all like, we HAVE TO go for them. And it is actually the only plan they have. Anyway, Adam has been with the rogue demigods for some time now and knows a weird lot about their plan, he is totally aware that those are demigods tired of being the pawns of the gods and after his field trip to tartarus he honestly sees why.  of course shiro and hunk tell him , about the Romans and about mt othrys  and how Kronos is gaining power from the rogue demigods and more monsters and titans and everything is marching destroying any minor deity or nature spirit who is on the God’s side and how even then…the god’s have been silent. surprising no one.

Allura Lance and Pige arrive to the place the monster are marching to inside the labyrinth: It is an Arena and they recognise it as Shiro’s gladiator arena and MMMM they are starting to also see rogue demigods and minor deities and things are starting to get dangerous but they can’t turn back or they get more attention than they want so they go inside the arena where everyone is  reuniting for something and trusting the mist to do its job BUT before getting in they get spotted by a girl in a cell: She tells them how weird is to see a purple shirt (Allura) with two orange shirts (Lance and Pidge) and even more that they are disguising themselves. The girl looks like she has been in the cell for LONG time: Surprise it is Shay, (a clear eyed mortal) but they couldn’t open it at all so they moving inside the arena for what seems a BIG meeting promising her they are coming back for her.

MEANWHILE, Keith finds himself in the door with the answers. He is now in a warehouse in the middle of a meeting. Of several romans. Who are now looking at him like he just insulted them and their mothers. And They are all “noooo this cant be that door was enchanted” and keith is all “YOU ARE MY ANSWER? WHO THE F ARE YOU ALL? WHERE IS JANUS?” They are seeing a young demigods with a CHB shirt  wielding an imperial gold clearly roman sword ready to fight. Not Normal at all. And a clearly old guy with a scar in one eye and the BOSS  is all “kid, you are a roman” . Things start computing in his head the coin, the weird way he was able to find SHiro, his past encounter with Janus… but keith goes “I am a son of Ares” From the group of romans a woman calls his name: “…Keith?” and… that is when Krolia appears.

Reunion Time! Krolia is a Janus Legacy and went to Camp Jupiter back in the day, this group is an Olden Elite Roman Secret Group part of the old Preatorian Guard, who never ceased to exist and that has been moving parallel to Camp Jupiter for centuries. They are the Speculatores Augusti, dedicated mostly to avoid the secret of the existence of the romans demigods to go out there  and keeping the roman problems…roman, it is like a legend inside camp jupiter but they still exist in the shadows. and right now they are trying to calm this nonsense. They Know about Lotor, and they know that the plan is to turn demigods away from the gods and that it would revive Kronos.

Some Backstory:

Krolia is not a demigod directly, she is a Legacy but an incredible good fighter and then she got with Ares. Krolia met Texas after being pregnant with Keith. (insert here an incident Texas going all, wow pregnant lady you alright?) And wao, they hit it off really, enough to Krolia consider to have a mortal normal life…normal as it could be. And Keith was born and they were a family for little time but then rumors started about Kronos awakening slowly  and that Keith would be in the middle of the THAT war and that the Romans where starting to not hear from the gods and suddenly it all started to be more than rumors so she decided to leave them and try to stop whatever was happening from inside. And she left them with  a janus coin so he could know something about his roots and , making texas promise he wouldn’t let keith go to any of the camps and Texas was like OKAY but he died when Keith was 10 or something and Keith ended up in camp Half blood anyway…. And she didn’t know until this moment when her son was in front of her and now she knows texas is dead and everything is a little bit too sad.

Keith tells them what he knows from his quest, about shiro about the arena about allura about the rogue demigods and about the other good demigods working with Matt he is basically full of good info and it gave them the ultimate details to do finish their STRIKE the  that has to be ASAP before that whole army marches to mt Othrys  and puts in danger the entire world. And Keith is like….but for Kronos to gain all his power he will need more time…that is what Matt said. And they explain that the one danger in Mount Ostrys is no other than Atlas himself and if someone takes the sky from him The General of Kronos would be Free and that would mean The End. 

And that is how the entire secret roman group Keith is now part of goes to the place where the big army is reuniting: The Arena (btw this is the group that has Ariadne’s String and that’s how they can use the Labyrinth )

THEN

We have the three groups all reuniting in the same place.Adam Hunk and Shiro want to rescue the innocent mortals Allura Lance and Pidge are there to know what the in the hades is going onKeith is there with the Speculatores to stop the armyThe monsters are all ready to  part and in the podium there are Titans are guiding the army and some demigods allura recognises as ex- roman campers, and they say the found a way to navigate the labyrinth and that they are going to san francisco immediately to liberate their general and to meet with the Romans who are also tired of the god’s nonsense, between the horrible noises monsters did in agreement. Allura is seeing how this only could be possible with the help of someone INSIDE camp Jupiter but she doesnt want it to be Lotor. and asks herself why Reah didn’t say anything when she send Allura to CHB. Lance and Pidge see that the mist is really wearing off and that Allura is tired to the bone so they start to head to the exit but it is cramped with monsters, and a random demigod spots Lance and they are in REAL problems now that the baddies are have seen him, but not…them SO…..Lance does the sensible thing and tells Pidge that it is important to get Allura to Camp Jupiter and he directs the attention to himself. 

 Adam Shiro and Hunk are using a moment when all the baddies are distracted with something to open the cells of the mortals (thanks lock picking  Adam abilities via hermes) and they get to Shay, she tells them that Allura Lance and Pidge are there..NOw the monsters being distracted and furious make sense and it is horrifying . SHiro jumps to go to look for them despise Adam telling him to wait that he feels something is Not Right and he is getting really frustrated with shiro because of his hero complex and there is when HUnk tells Adam that probably is because Shiro  has more of a survivors complex since the moment he arrived to camp half blood without them, that probably even when he was in the arena he felt more lucky than matt and  him since he was alive. Adam is like, damn him, and HUnk is like MAYHAPS if you too talked you could get somewhere YOU KNOW, being under heavy circumstances can really make anyone  have a crooked perspective and that it is what always happens with old machines that often people dont know it but they work like that too. and you just have to be kind and  work with that new perspective to be able to see the present and what is happening and not what it is supposed to be happening. 

Shiro finds Pidge and Allura first and send them to where adam and hunk are close to the cells, and Pidge tells him that Lance did probably the most stupid thing ever  but there is a WALL of monsters and is being really difficult to get to where Lance is and curses his entire existence for being underground and not having the space for flying or lightening or nothing and he feels USELESS AF

Keith is with his new roman secret organisation intending to work again from the shadows, after hearing the plan or the army heading to mt othrys the plan to take as many monsters down right there right then is the best. They plan to blow the  arena and send the majority of monsters direct to tartarus or some pit deep down. But then, there is the shift in the monsters attention and when Keith and others go to investigate from one of the upper levels of the tribune before, you know, blowing the whole thing up. From there…He sees is mother fucking Lance and his heart stops or beats faster…Lance is alone  surrounded by so many monsters that it is ridiculous and holding a number lance is in “who wants to go against ME first uh? maybe this is the lucky day any of you get to kill a beautiful son of Aphrodite OR maybe I could kill you?? who knows!!”and “That telekhine thinks he is better than all the empousai look at him! he is gonna strike first! are the empousai so weak they are gonna let him win? really?”and pinning the  monsters against each other and it is ridiculous and charming  but over all dangerous because it is obvious to Keith Lance could not go if 3 or more of the monster decided to attack together. So he tells the other speculators to wait 5 minutes so he can save Lance, they say 1 or they might miss the opportunity to blow the most important titans.  So that is the best he can get. Keith starts going down to the arena where Lance is, resolved to his bones to WIN and pulverise anything that dares harm his… friend

Lance has been streaking of with his bow any monster who is falling for his taunt and pinning some of them against each other but arrows are limited and he lost his sword back with the Kampe. Monsters seem to be picking up that too because the circle is getting tighter and there is no way out but if he is going down he is going down fighting. Keith gets to him 

-queue to some serious Ares Blessing Moment-

 Lance shoots his last  two arrows and starts hitting monsters with his bow …and then Keith is in front of him , red glow around him and practically…invincible. Lance is half jealous, but also half in awe. Keith is more than a natural wielding not one but two swords (his spatha and a new golden gladius) (was that even possible??) The monsters who were all focused in Lance didn’t see Keith coming at them Keith passed him his spatha in the middle of the fight and it was even better than when they were sparring at camp. They didn’t need words to know what to do and they were holding it well against the monsters and it felt that, at that rhythm two demigods did had an opportunity to come out alive. A second later shiro’s metal arm appeared harming  a monster, and Keith just yells at shiro “The floor!” and takes lance, holds on to shiro and BAM-

There is no more floor! the explosion takes half of the Arena , many monsters start falling and shiro is concentrating the entire power he is channelling from the very deep of his gut into not letting these two demigods and himself fall with the rest of the confused monsters. The explosion gave him enough wind to fly a bit and it is the best he has felt since entering the damned labyrinth. And soon gets them to their even larger group.

- NOW they are all reunited!

They are all happy to be reunited again, but it is Big Awkward tm. Lance was SO close of dying so many times it stopped making sense, Keith  is a roman Legacy,Adam is alive but spend a weird amount of time on tartarus and then with the baddies and that mess up any demigod,  shiro and him have a silent treatment going (weighted by all  the things they want to say to to each other that have been accumulating for they time apart) Allura is a bit heartbroken and confused because everything she knows is going down, Pidge literally let Lance distract the monsters because it was the only logical thing to do but he is also her friend and it was…not a good decision and she knows it. And Hunk, the Hephaestus child is trying his hardest in keeping them going somewhere. while taking the rescued mortals out of the labyrinth.So they head to the next exit they find to regroup and think what they are going to do.

Allura met the boss speculators augusti, Kolivan , and she is shocked something so secret has been running alongside her camp for so long…but she is relieved not all romans are on the bad side and gives her hope that camp jupiter has survived so many things They tell her to not open suspicion to lotor when they get to san francisco…so they have more of an element of surprise to defeat him.The Roman BoM is down to closing any doors from inside the labyrinth, rescue any other mortal that could be helping the army and Get to camp mt othrys, after all they have ariadne;s string to navigate that hellhole.

Lance is decided to follow Pidge advice and reallt talk to Keith, after all they were working well together, it has been a life or death situation but somehow it felt just right , being with keith, fighting side by side, it felt like they could do anything.

“Hey man…Thanks for saving m- “and keith interrupts him angry and welp, that is so not what lance was expecting “are you insane? WHAT? what the fuck where you thinking, are you a martyr? do you have a death wish? if you ever get in some stupid situation like that again I….” and keith shuts up but Lance follows anyway, “you what? UH KEITH? you WHAT!? “Keith: “just get out of the way and let the others do their job” and thats is the last drop for lance,”am i in the way? YOU are on mine. you are always on my way. I know you think i cant do this , you think so low of me that i cant survive on my own, we all know you are so good , a Natural, well, you are not the only capable hero-” Keith :”ï dont care about being a stupid hero! “ Lance: “WELL, I DO” lance is about to cry and is when  keith knows he cant keep being around lance, he doesn’t want him in danger and Lance will only keep heading first to complete that damned quest. Keith  knows lance is good he is what heroes are made of and honesty that scares him. Heroes don’t have happy endings, right?.  Lance just stands up and goes. It all was a mistake, going to Keith was a mistake and he was a fool for believe he and keith were even playing on the same field because every time it seems they have something going it ends up even worse.

and keith is not even surprised it all ended up badly he knows the demigod way and it is that for every good thing that happens, something worse is coming: adam is alive - he seems like he’s seen death, he found the truth about himself - the romans are this close on bringing Kronos back, he gets close to lance fighting side by side - apparently lance hates him, SO…ketith decides to go with his mom , “after all adma is here, you are six now for the quest , and…we will find each other again at mt othrys or camp jupiter”  he tells them 

And the guy just…LEAVES. everyone is a like “don’t be a stranger, see yah soon,  BYEEEE” well, Keith found his family his entire legacy thing so…they  show all the support they can . BUt Lance, he cant believe Keith is quitting! now that is betrayal even so…he was the one who tell Keith to leave(him alone).

Keith disappears through the labyrinth with his mom and the Speculatores and the rest of the team is left to get to camp Jupiter and try to stop Lotor  before Kronos Army gets to Mount Othrys and free the titan Atlas.

__

BONUS DOODLE because you made till the end!

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING! you all deserve another golden star!!

Hope you are enjoying this story, also I think there is only one update left!!

and if you have ANY question, i am Happy to solve anything

and consider donating to my KO-FI, maybe???

Also, another pull through for @monthlyklance in their Klance AU Month

Disclaimer: 

SO YOU KNOW, the speculatores Augusti  existed and were distinguished by special secret boots, all is super secret and i thought it fitted perfectly to the Blade of Marmora.

I use Kronos even when referring to Romans because changing names too much confuses me :T

[theglguidetowebcomics]

The Webcomic Graveyard

There are plenty of amazing comics on the internet, but for every good one there seems to be 3 abandoned ones. You never know when one of your favourite comics will be dropped or even simply deleted, and if you’ve read a few webcomics it’s probably happened to you a few times. But, even if unfinished they’re interesting in their own way. So, why not take a short look at some these dead webcomics?

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre… Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge.

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on. This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly… interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next. But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So… Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself. Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which  makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit. All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well.

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

What’s this? A webcomic that doesn’t look like it wears baggy jeans, plays snake on a flip phone, and bedazzle tamagotchis in it’s spare time? And I was this close to have a theme here. But, no. Mora and Stima Apei isn’t from the 2000′s or even 2000′s themed. It’s very modern from its story telling, to its art, to the fact that the authors are qualified in relevant fields. And rather than being specifically abandoned it’s been publicly put on hiatus with a notice and reason why. It’s always nice when creators do that. Whether it will actually be completed story though is still anyone’s guess. It’s still a webcomic. The comic however is pretty interesting, the visuals are a little rough at the start but greatly improve later on. The characters are beautifully designed, the colours are thought out, the tone is pretty clear, and the monsters are dark and twisted. And I’m always up for dark and twisted monsters. Con wise though is it’s a little wordy and poetic at times. Which I do understand is a style choice here, but at the same time I very much in the show don’t tell camp with things like this. It doesn’t do that all the time though. Plot wise though the comic is pretty straight forward, a women wakes up, can’t remember who she is, has a rotten arm, a elf lady in the room, and a skull on her head. Why? We haven’t gotten to the why yet. The art later on is gorgeous, and the mystery is enticing. But there isn’t enough yet to get a grasp on how good it will be, it doesn’t use it’s time well. Its not a bad comic though, it’s mystery and art is very well done. But, still can’t tell what it’s going to be from what there is. On the other hand though their newer comic is still coming out (albeit in early pages) and is extremely well done with nice art, visual story telling, and an intriguing plot. So as long as they keep making comics like that, I don’t mind how long this stays on hiatus at all.

[pendingoomething]

The Webcomic Graveyard

There are plenty of amazing comics on the internet, but for every good one there seems to be 3 abandoned ones. You never know when one of your favourite comics will be dropped or even simply deleted, and if you’ve read a few webcomics it’s probably happened to you a few times. But, even if unfinished they’re interesting in their own way. So, why not take a short look at some these dead webcomics? 

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre... Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge. 

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on.  This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly... interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next.  But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So... Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself.  Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which  makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit.  All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well. 

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

What’s this? A webcomic that doesn’t look like it wears baggy jeans, plays snake on a flip phone, and bedazzle tamagotchis in it’s spare time? And I was this close to have a theme here.  But, no. Mora and Stima Apei isn’t from the 2000′s or even 2000′s themed. It’s very modern from its story telling, to its art, to the fact that the authors are qualified in relevant fields. And rather than being specifically abandoned it’s been publicly put on hiatus with a notice and reason why. It’s always nice when creators do that. Whether it will actually be completed story though is still anyone’s guess. It’s still a webcomic.  The comic however is pretty interesting, the visuals are a little rough at the start but greatly improve later on. The characters are beautifully designed, the colours are thought out, the tone is pretty clear, and the monsters are dark and twisted. And I’m always up for dark and twisted monsters. Con wise though is it’s a little wordy and poetic at times. Which I do understand is a style choice here, but at the same time I very much in the show don’t tell camp with things like this. It doesn’t do that all the time though.  Plot wise though the comic is pretty straight forward, a women wakes up, can’t remember who she is, has a rotten arm, a elf lady in the room, and a skull on her head. Why?  We haven’t gotten to the why yet.  The art later on is gorgeous, and the mystery is enticing. But there isn’t enough yet to get a grasp on how good it will be, it doesn’t use it’s time well. Its not a bad comic though, it’s mystery and art is very well done. But, still can’t tell what it’s going to be from what there is.  On the other hand though their newer comic is still coming out (albeit in early pages) and is extremely well done with nice art, visual story telling, and an intriguing plot.  So as long as they keep making comics like that, I don’t mind how long this stays on hiatus at all. 

[jeshikawa]

Hi there! I love your blog! I'm an aspiring jet (hopefully to be accepted in April), and I have some body image issues. (I'm not fat, but I have some tummy) I have no idea what you look like, but you seem really nice, so I was wondering if you had any tips or useful anecdotes based on what you've heard from other JETs or your own experiences if relevant.

Hey! First, good luck!

As for your question… I think I can relate. I’m not fat but I have a little weight in places like my stomach and thighs. I’m pretty confident for the most part but getting to this point was a process of acceptance of myself and disregard for others.

I have a few personal experiences and I’ll mention those and how I dealt with them. This is going to be super tldr

1. Free-size. A lot of clothes stores don’t actually sell clothes in multiple sizes. Instead, they have something called “free-size” meaning it should, in theory, fit everyone. And I’m going to tell you 90% of the time this is pure bullshit and that’s only because I’ve been lucky so maybe I’m generous. When Japanese companies design these clothes, they work with Japanese beauty standards in mind. They aren’t design to accommodate the body sizes the same way some places do. You might find that a lot of free size clothes just won’t fit because they’re too small. I came to Japan understanding the beauty standards would be different here but this still got to me after awhile. There’s nothing like trying to update your wardrobe and going to store after store and seeing all of the clothes just won’t fit. After awhile, I just started to feel like an awkward giant.

But you know what? This isn’t just a me problem and it isn’t even a non-Japanese problem. A lot of Japanese people have the exact same problem!!! Men and women will find themselves too big or even *too slim* to fit into some of these brands that only cater to *a very limited range of sizes*. The beauty standard is fucked up in Japan and the fashion industry caters to it. It won’t change for awhile because businesses will always try to find ways to make more for less and by catering to a smaller size, they save money on production time and materials. I’m not the only one having a hard time.

2. There are some clothes companies that are better about sizes like UNIQLO and H&M. There are other import chains like Gap and Old Navy in some places. I’ve had much more luck in these places but it doesn’t change the fact I have limited options. Sometimes you just get tired of going to the same store and having the same style. Sometimes you get tired of looking like a mannequin at one of these stores 24/7. Also, even if these companies have better options, they’re still selling things with Japanese people in mind so you’ll find that clothes can still run on the smaller size. There are more options out there like plus size stores and just smaller, local places that are just better about size. You might have to ask around and do some research about what’s out there for you.

3. And like you know when stores near you suck, you still have online shopping. Go measure yourself and head to Amazon or see if your favorite brands ship internationally. This has honestly my biggest thing here because I can get clothes I want and keep up with my own style.

4. Like I said, Japanese beauty standards are fucked up. It’s not just Japan! Beauty standards all over the world are messed up. When you come to Japan, don’t hold yourself to those same standards. Nothing you do is going to suddenly make you shorter or your feet shrink. Maybe you can lose some weight (I lost a bit) but be realistic and responsible! Don’t try to make yourself fit into a box you literally can’t fit into.

I’ve had a few experiences with this. I’m very lucky to be associated with some pretty cool people at work and socially. I’m a different size. They see that and don’t hold me to the same standards. To them, it’s normal if I’m taller and a little bigger. Not everyone is lucky enough to be surrounded by decent people and I’ve met people who *have* called me fat.

I’ve met a few people who have straight up called me fat. Here’s something to keep in mind here: it’s shitty and not ok but a lot of people *think* it’s ok. To them, they’re just ~looking out for you~. I’ve never met anyone mean but I have met some well intentioned dumbos. But bad things can come from good intentions. It’s weird to explain but the people who say this shit to me remind me of my korean relatives who say things like “you’ve gotten so *big*” and touch my stomach. Or of my mom who straight up calls me fat sometimes and tells me to lose weight. :/ I’ve never met anyone who’s called me fat/etc to make me feel bad here. It was always just unwanted and rude concern or really shit ways to make small talk. Depending on the person or whatever, I just laugh and don’t care but one time I took a moment to explain that hurt my feelings and that person was sorry.

The one time I really got grief over my weight was during my health check. I’m about 5’4 (~162cm) and weight about 150lbs (68kg). Purely on paper based on BMI or whatever, I’m a little overweight by US standards. But there are SO MANY factors to keep in mind here. I weighed the exact same in high school and was *shook* at my physical but my doctor told me a big part of it at the time was because I was working out a lot and all of the muscle in my (long) legs was pushing my weight up. I don’t work out as much anymore but I’ve grown and have kept the exact same weight give or take a few pounds depending on the season. There are things like lifestyle and body shape and weight distribution and even your native diet and your country of origin in mind………………. and my japanese healthcheck didn’t account for any of that. I was told I was just obese and needed to change my lifestyle and everything completely. My supervisor had to be with me for the appointment and that was *embarrassing*. I managed to get my points across and conceded I could make some diet changes and work out more but I disagreed with the doctors diagnosis. We ended up meeting half way but 😕😕😕😕I sure left that check up feeling like a whale. My supervisor told me I had nothing to worry about bc cultural differences and stuff but 😕

This ended up being super long but I guess the tldr here is… don’t stress too much. If you’re like me, you probably will end up stressing regardless so go ahead and do you. But just understand the culture is different here, some things can’t be changed, beauty is fucked in, and some people are dumb.  As a foreigner living in japan, we can have tons of experiences and I hope you and everyone can have more good ones than bad. But at the end of the day, we’re different and in some ways, were just aren’t going to fit in… sometimes literally.

[jourdcns-blog]

hold on a second — is that LAURA HARRIER i saw working on the sunny bay ship recently? oh wait, i was mistaken as it was actually JOURDAN DYER, a CISFEMALE who is TWENTY-TWO years old and is an intern as a KIDS ENTERTAINER. i heard when they’re not on the ship they’re studying DOCUMENTARY JOURNALISM which sounds pretty awesome! they are often described by their friends as CLEVER and COMPASSIONATE but also FACILE and RETICENT which means they are often labelled as THE HALCYON. i can’t wait to see what they have to offer on the ship!

HELLOOOOOO new friends!! i’m bay and according to buzzfeed i’m ‘random girl steve harrington’ described as ‘you don’t know how you got here, but you’re ready to throw down’ and surprisingly that’s.... accurate!! anyway! lemme introduce you to jourdan (aka lemme copy/paste a bunch of nonsense i already typed up). you dON’T HAVE TO READ ALL OF IT OKAY I JUST HAVE 000 SELF CONTROL

B A S I C S : 

full name: jourdan emilia dyer

birthday: october 31st

likes: paper print, coffee, early mornings, dogs, the ocean, literature, basketball, tall socks, big sweatshirts, spring, bees, old stories, photography, national geographic, netflix, shopping on amazon prime, heated blankets, smoothies not milkshakes, rain, bonfires, sunflowers, dirt roads, fog, magic hour, witching hour, the ocean, chicago

dislikes: messy closets, spiders, wind, sandstorms, movies about sharks, ants, telephone towers, cornfields, rush hour traffic, delayed trains, basically being late, horror films, the hallmark channel, golf, math

jourdan aesthetics: overalls and old destination t-shirts, polaroid cameras–– the big ugly ones that aren’t cute and pastel, glitter freckles, sun tea, sunflowers, worn out converse, the smell of rain, natural hair, freshly cleaned sheets on a freshly made bed, long runs, old encyclopedias, ribbon, green grass, sunsets at 9pm, orange juice, murals, homemade vanilla ice-cream, sugary scented lotion, doodles in the margins of a book, color-sorted closets, bullet journals, rose gold, obnoxiously loud laughter

clever: jourdan is book smart, that can be seen on her transcripts, but she’s also very quick on her feet and good with words. she’s able to read people and situations, assess, and then choose the best actions for the best outcomes, and this cleverness is what makes her such a damn good journalist. it’s not a traditional kind of smart; it’s innovative and adaptable.

compassionate: jourdan loves people. loves people. she’s easy to get along with and has a knack for making people feel comfortable around her right off the bat, and that’s because she’s truly got a big heart. she cares about the well being of people, not because it benefits her in anyway but because she just genuinely cares. even if that means her friends label her the mom friend™.

facile: she’s easily taken advantage of, however, because she isn’t one to cause conflict face-to-face. she’s got a fear of rocking the boat which hinders her in her career, and it’s something she’s working on. her trusting nature and desire to make everyone happy makes her a pushover at times, which is frustrating for her and others.

reticent: she throws herself into making sure others are feeling okay because she doesn’t particularly like to face or reveal her own feelings. it’s always something with jourdan, whether it be ‘there are bigger problems’ or ‘I just don’t have the energy to discuss it right now’. because of this struggle to open up, a lot of her relationships are simply surface level, skin deep. very few get past that which makes for a relatively lonely life. 

jourdan’s specialty id with people, pens, and paper. her interest in journalism began when she was young, forever interested in the boston globe’s spotlight team. her father gave her her first camera at the age of thirteen, and she was the only freshman on her high school’s newspaper writing staff. her love of journalism, documentary journalism to be specific, led her to northwestern university where she studies the craft and continues to push herself.

she’s adventurous, but she isn’t interested in being the face of a news station. she wants to be in the field with a notebook and her camera, living in her location and developing long stories over time. while her heart lies in the humanitarian subjects, she does have a selfish dream of being a travel journalist, hence her current internship. college is the time to be selfish, she reassured herself, so it’s okay to spend some time on a cruise ship before assignments send her to the grittier places around the world.

her thoughts are constantly running a million miles a minute, so her head is often times very scattered, and because she can’t control that curious thought process she has, she resorts to being very type-A with everything else. her notes, her room, her suitcases, and even the way she present herself are tidy and ‘perfect’.

she’s got some issues when it comes to dealing with her own problems, and she doesn’t really deal with them. instead she kind of throws herself into whatever project she’s currently working on. she was brought up to know that nothing comes without hard work, so she’s pretty relentless when it comes to stuff.

on the cruise, she’s really out looking for adventure. she wants to get a few of her own stories in before dedicating her life to the stories of others.

H I S T O R Y :

i’m not going to make you guys read everything so here’s the important bits: she grew up in the boston area, never knew her mom. she lived with her grandparents, her father, and two older brothers. dad was boston chief of police and grandparents ran a family restaurant. her dad passed away when she was 15, and her grandparents became her legal guardians. her brothers are both older, and they’re all in different parts of the country now!! uhhh yeah family is big in jourdan’s book, and if you want to read more about her past click here!

WANTED CONNECTIONS: THE   U S U A L

childhood friends

roommates, whether it be on the ship or back at school!!

ride or die bffs

a sort of ~bad influence~ 

all the exes: good terms, bad terms, first love, childhood crushes... i love fluff. i love angst. whatever ur lil heart desires, mind prob does too

frenemies !!!

that late night, talking about the world and dreams, sitting on the deck and looking @ the stars friendship

so close you might as well be related

will they, won’t they

work buds !!

summer fling, and that’s ‘literally all it is’

bantering bffs like sarcastic as hell, kinda rude, but i’d die for u kinda thing

the confidant

i’m sure there’s a million more and i’m really best and building plots so !!!!! come @ me!!!

UH YEAH OKAY SO!!! that’s my kid.... hope u guys like her!! like this or IM me for plots/tentative connections bc i am READYYYYYYYYYYY 

[winetae]

⇁ gumdrops & lollipops (m)

⚬ pairing ⇀ Hoseok x Reader (ft. oompa loompa! yoongi & jimin)

⚬ genre ⇀ smut, crack, willy wonka!au ↳  drabble; 2k

a visit to jung hoseok’s chocolate factory does not turn out the way you expected it to

a/n → yo, i was finally drunk enough to write this  i won’t @ her bc she might block me, but jordan is 101% responsible for this. by this i mean the concept, the cute banner, everything. blame her :’‘)

Hoseok had made the search for confectionery perfection his sole purpose in life.

Chocolatier was not a term that did him justice. Making mouth-watering sweets was an art of its own; every sugary treat was crafted with ample care, for Hoseok wanted each confection to bring pleasure, to awaken the senses. There was a reason his candy was in high demand. Many had tried to rival his products, but none could imitate the genius of his creations: sweets that melted on your tongue, taste that morphed with every chew, a story behind every bite.

Hoseok was a scientist, an artist, an innovator—a pioneer in his own right. His mind was always whirring with new ideas, new possibilities. He was not one to settle for mediocrity; he wanted novelty, complexity, depth. If that meant he had to push boundaries and explore territories no one had dared to venture, then so be it. In his quest for innovative flavors, he had scoured the deep forests of the amazons for the perfect cocoa beans, traveled beyond the seven kingdoms for the most exotic fruits. Twice, he had risked his life to obtain rare and sought-after ingredients. 

So, of course no corner shop candy store could compare to his daring, his brilliance. Instead of inventing their own bite-sized masterpieces, they busied themselves with creating pale imitations of his grandiose visions.

Everyone wanted to get their hands on his prized recipes, but no one ever would, not unless Hoseok decided to tell them. No one had given him reason to—that was, not until he met you. 

You examined the insides of the box set and its assortment of hazelnut truffles, dark chocolate clusters, and heart-shaped, white chocolate fudge. The sweet aroma called out to you, but you knew you weren’t allowed to taste—not yet, at least. You tried to tamper your growing appetite, not wanting to end up like the rest of the volunteers who had been too blinded by their own greed. No, you certainly did not want to suffer the same fate as Jihyo… The poor girl had been rolled out of the room accompanied by the soft humming of oompa Yoongi. You had watched the scene unfold with poorly concealed fascination, an odd feeling of satisfaction curling in the pit of your stomach. 

Now that Jihyo had been literally pushed out of the picture, you were the last remaining volunteer. You had somehow passed every inspection so far, but Hoseok had one last test for you.

He dipped his finger in the bird fountain, coating his digit in a layer of milky chocolate. 

“Do you know how I achieve this smooth, silky texture?” he prodded, watching as your face lit up with curiosity. Under the artificial beams of light, the dark layer of sweetness looked like velvet and you could only swallow, mouth dry with anticipation and want.  

Hoseok cleaned his digit off with a rude swipe of his tongue. You followed the movement with envy, wishing he would stop teasing you. Only a herculean amount of self-control had prevented you from devouring the array of colorful gumdrops earlier, but you could only take so much temptation before you caved into your desires. It was easier to keep your eyes fixed on Hoseok… If you let your gaze wander, you were afraid you would become another victim to gluttony. That was not to say that Jung Hoseok was less appealing than the butterscotch toffees and the rainbow-swirl lollipops. In his robes of deep eminence, there was something about him that aroused a different kind of hunger within you. 

“No, I suspect you do not,” he laughed, taking your silence for an answer. “I take pride in my chocolates… You can prowl the earth as many times as you would like, but you will never be able find a duplicate. Not even close.”

“A taste beyond imagination,” you recited, remembering the embossed letters on his trademark gold foil packaging. 

“That’s right,” he grinned. “Would you care for a taste?”

You nodded quickly, composure forgotten.

“You’ve been a good girl so far… I’ll allow it.” Hoseok smirked down at you.

He dipped his digit once more in the treacly substance and brought the index finger up to your lips. You hadn’t realized they had parted in hunger until you felt the sticky sweetness drop onto your tongue. Instinctively your mouth closed around his finger, eager to quench your thirst.

It was impossible to describe the taste. The creamy mellowness invaded your senses, like a heady red wine that had been mulled for ages. Hoseok’s finger had long been cleaned of its sugar coating, but you stubbornly kept sucking and lapping at it, needing more.

“What a greedy mouth,” Hoseok chided, taking his hand away. 

You had to bite down a whine, refusing to act like a spoiled child robbed of their toy. You were stronger than that, even if Hoseok was testing your dwindling patience and self-restraint.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He queried as you licked your lips clean.

“The flavor is so rich it lingers,” you gasped in awe. “The chocolate is sweet, but there’s a tangy aftertaste. Citrus? Orange? ”

You swallowed again, trying to name the incredible savor, oblivious to the way Hoseok’s eyebrows shot up in astonishment.

“Close. I use the zest of makrut limes… It’s fragrant, isn’t it? People never think to use it.” You could tell by his boastful tone how smug he was to have thought of the idea. “You must have a developed palate. Not many notice the citrus notes.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment. “I have a sweet tooth.”

His head tilted as he considered you. Had you been too bold? Was he disappointed with your show of intemperance? You tried your best not to fidget, afraid he was going to call in another one of his oompa loompas to drag you out. 

“I also have penchant for sweet things. Come,” he motioned for you to follow him. 

You tried not to let your apprehension show as you tailed him. Resolving yourself to not let the surrounding sights and smells entice you further, you focused your gaze on Hoseok’s back. The purple colored robe hugged his body just right, and for a few dizzying seconds you were consumed with the desire to climb his back.

Before you could act out irrationally, Hoseok stopped in front of a large silver platter of lava cakes and frosted cupcakes. He pressed a button of some sort, and a new platter appeared on the table, as if summoned by magic.

You peered at the new arrival in great interest, noting the dark orange hue and sprinkles of what looked like sugar.

“Fudge can be a tricky thing. There needs to be a good balance between the condensed milk and the chocolate in order for the result to be perfectly chewy,” he explained, long fingers tracing the edge of the tray seductively.

The appetizing smell wafted all around you, tickling your nostrils. You wiped your mouth discreetly, hoping you hadn’t been drooling unattractively.

“These are straight out of the oven. They’re still in the works… I haven’t been able to test them out properly yet,” he picked a square of hot fudge and handed it to you. “Why don’t you give it a go and tell me what you think?”

“What, really?” you asked, not daring to believe your ears. After four very long hours of dangling various delights under your nose without letting you taste, he was finally giving you that precious opportunity. You would be a fool to refuse.

“Of course.” He smiled and adjusted his tinted glasses. “Good girls get rewarded.”

You bit into the warm fudge cautiously, still wary of his sudden change of heart. Was this still a test of some kind? But as soon as the chocolate melted in your mouth, everything else fizzled out. Nothing else mattered but the salty taste of caramel and the exploding flavor of cacao. The swirling blend of the two was so heavenly, it almost brought tears to your eyes.

“This is the best fudge I’ve had in my life,” you moaned around a mouthful of the treat.

“I’m glad to hear that.” His gaze never left your face, intent on catching every single one of your reactions. “Do you taste anything in particular?”

“Caramel,” you said immediately. “Salted caramel… The flavor is quite refined. Did you, um, perhaps use fleur de sel?”

He seemed immensely pleased with your assessment.  

“Close.” His lips quirked up in amusement. “We’ve been testing out a new ingredient.”

“Yes, p-please,” you begged. “Please, I need to know.”

He raised an eyebrow, lost in thought.

“I would like to know,” you corrected yourself, knowing he preferred polite formulas.

“Are you certain?” For once, he seemed unsure. 

“Yes!” Why wouldn’t you be? Millions of people all over the world probably wanted to be in your shoes right now. Who in their right minds would pass up this once-in-a-lifetime chance? 

“Well then,” he straightened himself. “You’ll have to fetch it for me.”

You nodded eagerly, your thirst for knowledge and desire for candied treats fueling your curiosity

In all the wildest scenarios you managed to conjure up, the last thing you expected was for Hoseok to push you down to your knees. You stared up at his figure from below, awaiting his next move with bated breath. 

Hoseok reached down and caressed your cheek, calloused fingertips trailing the lines of your face. 

“You’ll have to work for it. Are you sure you want it?”

Nodding eagerly, you reached for his belt without further prompting, afraid he would change his mind. Now that he had given you permission, you no longer had to moderate and control your appetite. Your actions were now governed by your consuming cravings for sweets, for him. 

It didn’t take long for Hoseok to grow in your hand; not when he was faced with your abundance of eagerness and determination. A few strokes in and you let your mouth wrap around his impressive girth, desperate to please him and, more importantly, to sate your hunger.

“Tell me why you deserved to eat my fudge,” his voice commanded, fingers tugging on the strands of your hair. “Why should I let you swallow my come? Tell me.“

With your lips sealed around his throbbing cock, you attempted to pull away in order to answer him, but he kept your head firmly in place. If anything, he pulled you further down his length, scrutinizing the minute variations in your expressions. 

“Go on, tell me,” he encouraged, forcing more of his size into your mouth.

You struggled to answer; words distorted and muffled, tongue working around his girth in an attempt to form the adequate words. Hoseok watched you with wicked delight, relishing in the way your mumbled response was drowned out by the lewd sounds of your gags.  You were certain you looked like a mess; spit and precome dripping down from the sides of your mouth, dribbling onto your neck, onto your clothed chest.

“Such a good girl,” he patted your cheek in praise. You looked up at him, mouth full of his cock. “You, ah, you earned this.”

“Please,” you tried pleading, a muted moan lodged in the back of your throat.

“Mm, you want more don’t you? I can see it. You’re so hungry.”

You hummed your assent, mouth still working diligently over his cock. The lack of air was starting to affect your senses, so with renewed effort, you sucked harder, delicate hands reaching up to play with his balls.

Hoseok gripped your hair tightly, and thrust into your throat, keeping your head still as he spilled his seed into your mouth.

You swallowed around his length greedily, eager to finally drink in his succulence. You could now identify the salty flavor from before, and the overpowering taste brought you the greatest ecstasy. Looking back up at Hoseok, you could see your ravenous expression reflected on his glasses. 

“I have a penchant for sweet things.” Hoseok repeated his words from earlier, voice a little fucked out, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “And I have a feeling that you, my dear, will be positively delicious.”  

[coopdigitalnewsletter]

22 Jan 2019: Food data + shopping data = health data

Hello, this is the Co-op Digital newsletter - it looks at what's happening in the internet/digital world and how it's relevant to the Co-op, to retail businesses, and most importantly to people, communities and society. Thank you for reading and please do send ideas, questions, corrections etc to @rod on Twitter. If you have enjoyed reading please consider telling a friend about it!

[Image: Konrad Wachsmann]

Food data + shopping data = health data

Whole Foods has launched a digital product catalog which helps customers shop according to their dietary needs - they’ll be able to find items by dietary preference, see ingredient lists and nutritional information. You can imagine that dietary preferences from Whole Foods and body mass index data from clothing sizes shopped on Amazon could be very useful input data for the Amazon health business, particularly if they have plans for a long-term wellness service.

Elsewhere in health, Microsoft’s latest partnership with industry is with pharmacy giant Walgreens to provide Office365 and cloud services, but also “tests of ‘digital health corners’ within some Walgreens stores”. Industry/tech partnerships are often viewed through a defending-against-Amazon lens these days: Microsoft and Walgreens, Microsoft and Kroger, Ocado and grocers various - all partly presented as being someone’s answer to Amazon turning up in their market.

The weight of attention

A research paper suggests that “people automatically and unconsciously treat other people’s eyes as if beams of force-carrying energy emanate from them, gently pushing on objects in the world”. This is interesting because it reflects the extramissive theory of how vision worked, which dates back to the fifth century BC.

But do humans have a similar mental model for VR or machine vision? Do we feel the “weight” of all of the mobile phone cameras, surveillance and cctv, watchful self-driving cars and, more generally, the big tech cos collecting data from uncountable sensors and apps?

Web of intent

Google and Facebook are the dominant digital admedia cos these days. Everyone else seems to be struggling as G and FB attract more attention and ad dollars. More attention and data = better targeting. But the other company doing well is... Amazon! They’re growing fast because they’re arguably the only company closer to the point of purchase and to the consumer intent than G and FB are.

AI and apps replace faxes in NHS long term plan

The digital parts of the new long term plan for the NHS aim to give citizens new ways to access healthcare services, to speed up existing workflows inside the NHS, and to do a lot of things with data to connect everything together and reduce waste.

Adding a lot of technology will be a challenge because historic attempts to modernise the NHS have famously struggled. NHS still has widespread use of faxes and pagers, which both indicate the need for modernisation and perhaps hint that the journey will be tough. For instance, faxes are currently a key communication channel in many GP-to-pharmacy workflows. Can they all switch?

The plan lists ten practical priorities that “will drive NHS digital transformation” (p92 of this pdf). Eight of them mention or involve data (access to data, AI decision-making, predictive techniques, capturing data easily, protecting privacy, data in clinical research, securing data, interoperable data) so there will be some interesting tensions between access/sharing and privacy/trust.

TUCstarter

The Trades Union Congress tried a Kickstarter-like feature to solicit new union members in the visual effects industry. “28% of joiners chose the ‘join now’ option, with 72% choosing to ‘join if we hit the target’”. This suggests that the Kickstarter-style conditional commitment is a transferable mechanism of “social proof”, and a reassuring way to people to join a new thing.

Other news

M&S is trialling “90 lines of loose fruit and vegetables completely free of plastic packaging”.

France fines Google E50m under GDPR - the French data regulator said the Google’s data consent policies weren’t transparent or easy to access.

“Not using modern techniques like computer systems is a great mistake, but forgetting the computer simulates thinking is still greater.” - from 100+ Lessons Learned for Project Managers (at NASA, mid-1990s).

MPs use WhatsApp heavily, to communicate, plot and sometimes leak. It makes you wonder if there’s a WhatsApp clone with a Chatham House Rules switch, which anonymises the sender’s identity after a while, but not the content.)

A survey suggests that consumer safety concerns and industry concerns about liability are the biggest barriers to adoption of self-driving vehicles (pdf). But in both cases, industry is confident that self-driving will reduce accidents and consequently liability exposure.

Co-op Digital news

We are not our users: we should not tell them how to feel. “To create services that people want to use, we must make a deliberate effort to remove our emotional attachment to the things we’re creating and let our users decide how to experience them. By appreciating that we are not our users, and being considerate of their circumstances, we create services that are tactful, inclusive and respectful.”

Doing this is doubly hard because humans love projecting their hopes and fear onto services - and technology as a whole. Designers believe they’re making a service that is easy to use, but Jo Schofield reminds us that users may feel differently. And other stakeholders will bring their own emotions and perceptions to it: a front-line worker might wonder if a new system will lead to redundancies or whether The Management are using this system to track them. A manager might hope that this new service will fix all of the problems. So technology is an unreliable, wobbly mirror, and because of that it’s harder to see it clearly.

Events

Health team show & tell - Tue 22 Jan 2pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Food ecommerce show & tell - Tue 22 Jan 4.30pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Engineering community of practice meetup - Wed 23 Jan 1pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Web team show & tell - Wed 23 Jan 2.30pm at Federation House 5tfloor.

Line management drop-in clinic - Thu 24 Jan 1pm at Federation House.

Heads of practice community of practice meetup - Thu 24 Jan 2pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Startup tool-kit discussion group - Thu 24 Jan 5pm at Federation House.

Delivery community of practice meetup - Mon 28 Jan 1pm at Federation House.

Funeralcare show & tell - Tue 29 Jan 2pm at Angel Square 12th floor.

Open:Data:Night - Tue 29 Jan 6.30pm at Federation House.

Digital Transformation meetup - Wed 30 Jan 5pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Line management drop-in clinic - Thu 31 Jan 1pm at Federation House.

Heads of practice community of practice meetup - Thu 31 Jan 2pm at Federation House 5th floor.

Universal Basic Income - Thu 31 Jan 6.45pm at Federation House.

Intro to Open Street Map - Sat 2 Feb 11am at Federation House.

More events at Federation House. And TechNW has a useful calendar of events happening in the North West.

Thank you for reading

Thank you, beloved and thoughtful readers and contributors. Please continue to send ideas, questions, corrections, improvements, etc to the newsletterbot’s flunky @rod on Twitter. If you have enjoyed reading please consider telling a friend about it!

If you want to find out more about Co-op Digital, follow us @CoopDigital on Twitter and read the Co-op Digital Blog.

[astrofairies]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ lmao

i figured this wouldve happened 

i don’t like chocolate ice cream alone. i will only eat it if theres something else in it (brownie, cookie dough, etc etc.)

that being said, i only like chocolate milkshakes. i will never ask for a vanilla milkshake

that also being said, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough

my favorite animal is an elephant. i will take any chance i get to talk about elephants, and my backpack and water bottle both have elephants on them.

i love creative writing, but i rarely get a chance to write for fun anymore

that being said, i love writing essays for school because it gives me a chance to write something.

i’m studying psychology in college. i dont know what my minor will be yet.

my favorite thing about psychology is understanding others without them having to tell me. i like to know what is going on in someone’s head. i think it helps me better interact with them. 

i’ve only had one job so far in my life, but ive had it for 5 years now. 

i only just got into makeup within the last year. now i cant seem to stop buying it.

every year for christmas and on my birthday my uncle/godfather gives me a $100 amazon giftcard. i only ever use this money to buy books, nothing else. i’ve been doing this for years (therefore i never run out of money)

i can’t eat oats

for about 4 years i did everything i could to curl my hair without using a curling iron bc i couldnt figure out how to use it. i still dont know how to use one, but i use a curling wand now

contrary to popular belief (as people keep asking me), ive never had a boyfriend or have had my first kiss yet. its weird living in a small town bc you grew up with everyone, so i rather not date them, you know?

yet, when it comes to what i find attractive in guys, i usually look for intelligence (look at my gemini venus ass). intelligence to me means good conversation and a wit (which i severely lack)

i love my sun/moon/rising placements and i probably wouldn’t change them for the world

that being said, i actually felt really bad about being a gemini sun for quite some time bc of all the gemini hate memes. but im over that bc being a gemini is pretty fucking great???

i’ll repeat this, as i’ve said it before: i am the farthest thing from funny. however, i laugh at everything 

i don’t get along with my mother at all. 

my favorite season is spring by a long-shot

i found out the other day i can only bowl with my right hand, even though im left handed 

with that, its fair to say that i have no hand-eye coordination what so ever. this is why i did horseback riding for nine years. 

 i dont ever share full body images (just haven’t had a chance) but i’m only 5′1

i hate soda. not for the taste, but the carbonation. it makes my tongue burn. 

i can read and write in spanish fairly well, but i can’t speak it or understand it when spoken to me

i believe i’ve only less than movies in the theater that weren’t disney related

i’ve never traveled outside of the u.s.

that being said, i’ve only been to 9 other states 

that’s because i’ve gone to disney world once year since i could walk (well for the most part)

i think everyone has bad luck with at least one thing. for my brother, it’s phones (he’s broken 4 phones in the last 3 years). for me, it’s laptops. they just seem to crash and burn for me

one of my requirements for when i have my own place is i need to live within a short distance of a bookstore. 

my dream how also has a balcony and a wrap around porch (or an alcove with a window seat)

 i’m not a math and science person at all. i’ve always been more into english/history/social sciences

i really want to visit italy, germany, greece, and hawai’i

i can’t cook to save my life, but i can bake fairly well (so ive been told)

i get along best with libras and arians 

when i was in middle school i had a club penguin blog 

i also used to rp a lot with lonny and some other people. we started on a website called xat with some friends, and then we moved onto a tumblr rp for quite some time...

speaking of which, i’ve been on tumblr for six years

when i first started my personal tumblr, i would always reblog disney things (wow what a surprise), but then i moved into ‘quality photos’ and other bs, until finally settling on to reblog whatever makes me happy

i cannot keep a plant alive to save my life

i don’t like roller coasters that have loops in them. this is bc when i was little and i was watching jimmy neutron sheen and carl got stuck upside down in one. it stuck with me apparently. 

i am a fairly shy person in my opinion. despite that, i was also part of my high school’s news broadcasting station as well as in the school musical for four years. 

i was obsessed with webkinz when i was little. i think last i checked i had about 50?

im really bad at throwing away/donating stuff, because everything has some sort of sentimental value to me

i’ve never been good at journaling. this is because im bad at keeping new habits

as much as i love reading, i hated assigned reading for school. but, my favorite book was the secret life of bees by sue monk kidd

i hate wearing skirts/dresses. i own a few dresses, but i have not owned a skirt since middle school. 

i prefer vegetables to fruit, even though i prefer sweet things. 

my “artistic medium” is writing. i can draw, but not well (my high school art teacher made that pretty clear). i would definitely consider writing to be my medium over singing as well (though i do love singing)

i’m awful at giving advice to people, or comforting people for that matter. however, i will always listen, no matter what i’m doing. 

i hate running. nothing else, i just really hate it

oh by the way, i’m left handed. no one else in my immediate family is tho

i cannot sleep with any noise going on in the background. no tv, no music, no talking, nada. nothing.

that being said, i also can’t sleep anywhere but a bed. i can just barely fall asleep on a couch, but forget about sleeping in a car or at school.

i get terrible car sickness. i have to sit in the front seat and i have to look at the road. i cannot read/look at my phone in a car without getting nauseous.

for every ‘⭐️’ i get, i will post a fact about myself!

[poop4u]

Thank Heavens We Have Dogs. (And Other Things To Do When The World Closes Up.)

#Poop4U

What do we do after, to quote a line from the play Hamilton, “The world turned upside down”? I rarely write about current events, but it just feels wrong to not acknowledge the profound effects of the Covid-19 global pandemic. I have several fun topics for posts in the hopper for the near future (how to pick a new dog, how to handle a dog who plays rough, for example), but, like you, our lives here on the farm have been upended by what I am calling “the new abnormal”. But it’s not all bad. Surely there is a silver lining here for dog and cat lovers–surely we can make lemonade as much as possible? That’s what I want to focus on today: How can we pet owners take advantage of the cancellation of so much of the rest of our lives?

I should preface this post by saying that everyone has to make their own choices about how to behave, but Jim and I are playing it cautious and canceling almost everything that would take us off the farm. We are convinced of the seriousness of this disease, and that stopping “community spread” and “flattening the curve” is the most responsible thing to do. That’s before there a lot of cases in one’s own locality. As a good friend of mine said, “Be more cautious than you think you need to be.” We are all swamped with information about the pandemic and how to handle it, so I’m just going to link to one excellent source for data nerds like me, and leave it at that.

But I do want to brainstorm with you about making “social distancing” and “social isolation” as painless as possible. This morning I sat down with a cup of tea, my favorite pen and notebook and wrote a list of things that I am able to do now that my schedule is cleared. I’d love to hear yours.

Before I start a list, I want to say how grateful I am that “social isolation” isn’t isolation at all for those of us with pets. Here’s to them, and all the comfort, love and oxytocin that they provide us–one of the world’s best ways to strengthen our immune system. (FYI, I am aware of no credible information that dogs or cats can get Covid-19, but they could carry viral particles from one human to another, so be careful there.)

Here’s my list then; which will no doubt be revised and added to in the days to come:

– Cook rice and freeze for when dogs have diarrhea. (Following the usual veterinary advice: First fast, then feed easy to digest foods. I usually use rice with a little chicken broth in it.) I leave a good amount of cooked rice in the freezer for a sitter when I’m gone–it paid off big time when we were in Kenya and the poor sitter had to deal with an outbreak of yuck.

Note, True Story: While I was typing this, Tootsie began whining. “Just a minute, Toots” I said, wanting to finish the paragraph. And then she spewed diarrhea all over the dining room floor. The floor is now mopped, Tootsie has had a bath and received metronidazole, the vet is called, and the already cooked rice is out of the freezer. Words fail here.

Toots requests that Tall Two-Leg Female start paying more attention to her rather than writing about paying more attention to your dogs.

– Catch up on training videos. So many great places to go! I’ll be watching some of the herding videos from The MacRae Way Academy. Friend and kick ass trainer Laura Monaco Torelli has a vast range of free training videos which I’ll catch up on, as does Emily Larlham of Kikopup on Youtube. The Learning Center on my website also has articles and videos on training. Maybe pick one aspect of training you’d like to delve into, and go from there? What are your other favorite sites?

– Train new trick. (Cat lovers too! Cats are great at doing tricks!) This is my all time favorite way to deal with cabin fever for both me and my dogs. I love that tricks feel so light and fun–a good reminder of how easy it is to fall into angst if some kind of “obedience” exercise isn’t going well. So: Define every thing as a fun trick, teach a new one or improve a cue that needs a little spiffing up, and have a ball doing it. My “new trick” agenda is easy–nothing like a new dog to write it’s own list. Skip and I are working on so many things, including Turn Your Head to Me When I Give Another Dog a Treat (a “Leave It” equivalent without a word being spoken), Back Up When I Touch The Door Handle, Stop and Stand Still Even When Running Outside, Stand Quietly For Muddy Paw Cleaning, Walk on a Leash Politely When Going Out to Work Sheep, Keep All Paws on the Ground When Being Petted, Look at Me When You See a Cat, Go to a Matt in the Kitchen when I say Relax, and, drumroll please, Do Just About Anything Besides Stare Obsessively Out the Window Looking for a Cat. And that’s not even the list related to working sheep. (Which is going well by the way, although we have our challenges.) So yeah, I’m good for a list on what to work on! What about you?

This is a huge victory! Skip is chewing on his Kong rather than obsessively looking at the window in case a cat shows up. More on this in a separate blog. (Nothing like a new dog to give a person a lot to write about.)

– Groom, and/or clean out pet supply shelves and cabinets. I try to be sure to groom the dogs at least on Sunday, but, of course, that kind of commitment, is, uh, flexible. But what a great opportunity to get a handle on what we have, what we need to order, what dog or cat needs her nails trimmed or their coats brushed. Or a bath cuz they just had diarrhea all over themselves. Just saying.

This is but one of five different places in the house where dog supplies are kept. Yup, I need to follow my own advice here . . . (Glinda, the Good Witch on the right, is an important part of my dog training procedures. She was given to me by some other trainers, and I have cherished her ever since. Her poor little hand was broken off, so she is awaiting repairs in the mud/supply room. Do wish her well.)

– Sort through dog photos, get enlargements if you can do it digitally. If not, at least get them organized so that you’re ready to take them in once you’re comfortable going into town. You can imagine that I have a ridiculous number of dog photographs, in a ridiculous number of places. Someday I’ll get them better organized. Will this be the “day”? Hmmm, no promises made here. But surely I can start the wall of family photographs that I’ve planned to do in “my free time” for the last four winters. Here’s a link to a review of the online photo enlargement/print businesses, and here’s a link to my favorite local camera store’s online services, at the Camera Company. So: Who are you going to get an enlargement of? I’m going to get one of Willie, my Silly Billy Willie Boy.

– Find pet-related note cards on line, order and write to friends. What is more special than getting a real note or letter in the mail nowadays? (You can guess my age because I just said “nowadays”. Who uses that word nowadays?) You can personalize a note card with your own dog, you can search Amazon for pet-related note cards, you can get funny cards about bored Border Collies, and you can order Gary Larson cartoon cards. (I don’t think there is a grad student in any biological field that doesn’t have a Gary Larson cartoon on their door.) The sky is the limit, right? Well, actually, our budgets are the limit, but hey, these are trying times.

Is this not the coolest card ever for a sheep and sheepdog owner? You can find them at www.myfavoritesheep.com.

– Virtual Field Trips: One last thought, for everyone of any age: How about taking some virtual field trips through museums around the country? Or, for my bird lover friends, checking in on live cams in bird nests around the world?

I’m sure you all have lots of other great ideas. Along with some of the above, I’ll be doing lots of cooking (poor me), lots of work with the BCs on sheep (poor me), and lots of contact with dear friends through the phone, letters and on line. You?

I do want to say one more thing: I am so sorry for all of you who are struggling financially because of this global nightmare. Folks with small businesses that rely on in-person transactions are truly hurting. Jim and I have agreed to do all we can to support them, by buying gift certificates from local restaurants, ordering on line when possible, and refusing refunds from things we’ve already paid for that had to be cancelled. If you can possibly afford it, please help local dog groomers, vet clinics, restaurants, etc etc. If you are the one struggling, I hope that those around you can turn out to help–don’t be shy about asking for it.

MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Life goes on as usual for the dogs. Maggie and Skip play hard twice a day, but it goes best if Skip has a toy in his mouth. They love to play tug, and he’s absolutely fine when she tries to take it out of his mouth (lots of chase games associated with that–Maggie is brilliant at figuring out how she can best get a hold of it when it’s in his mouth), but he can be a jerk (mouthy, body slamming) if he doesn’t have a toy on his mouth. We have other words for him when he’s being a jerk, but I’ll spare your tender ears.

Skip is one of the happiest dogs I have ever met. That’s without a doubt the main reason that he’s our dog now. Happy dog, happy Trisha.

Ghost Kitty (aka Polly), would like to remind us that it’s not all about the dogs.

Please be safe out there, I send you my warmest wishes for safety and health.

Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Trisha, Khareem Sudlow

[gethealthy18-blog]

I Tried Beautycounter for the First Time…Here Are My Thoughts

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I Tried Beautycounter for the First Time…Here Are My Thoughts

I’ll be honest, a part of me thought that this post was going to be more of an exposé about the dark side of Beautycounter. I expected to lift up the rug during this Beautycounter review and find some dirty, shameful secrets about the natural beauty company everyone in the wellness space seems to be talking about. Spoiler alert: I didn’t discover anything horrible but I can’t say I’m drinking the kool aid either.

Maybe it’s because I’m pitched by a consultant at least once a week or because I’m just inherently skeptical about everything, but my first inclination was to think “this is too good to be true”. And in some ways it is (which I’ll get into) but I’m a firm believer that you can’t knock anything until you try it, so my 3o days of Beautycounter officially kicked off and it was time for my official Beautycounter Review.

Before you jump to any conclusions, this post is not a sales pitch. It’s an unbiased Beautycounter review from someone who has tried their fair share of natural beauty/skincare products. Most of the reviews I’ve read out there are from people who are brand new to this space and undoubtedly have found comfort in using beauty/skincare products that aren’t laden with hormone-disrupting chemicals…and then they become a consultant. But as someone who has two enormous cupboards stacked full of green beauty products, how does Beautycounter stack up? That’s what this post is all about.

What is Beautycounter?

But before I jump into that, let’s go back to basics and explain what Beautycounter is. Beautycounter was founded in 2013 by Gregg Renfrew as a natural, safer alternative to conventional beauty and skincare products. They’re different then most beauty companies because of the vast array of products they sell. From makeup, to skincare to hair care they sell everything and it’s all marketed as “clean”. Mainstream beauty products tend to be full of ingredients that you likely wouldn’t feel good about putting on your skin. The biggest culprits:

-Parabens: it mimics estrogen and disrupts your endocrine system

-Phthalates: a chemical used to make plastic more malleable, which also can affect your reproductive system

There are many others including talc, butylated compounds and petroleum, but let’s start slow. They’re used to both emulsify and extend the shelf-life of your beauty products, but they actually do more harm than good. So why are they included? Because they’re cheap and there’s very little regulation in the beauty industry. In fact no federal regulation regarding personal care products has been passed since 1938!

Now I also want to preface this by saying a lot of the research shows correlation rather than causation. You can’t say that eating a box of Oreos everyday will cause cancer, but it’s likely that eating a box of Oreos is associated with other unhealthy behaviors that add up to future health problems.

My philosophy on beauty products is similar to my philosophy on food. Focus on whole, quality ingredients but don’t be militant about it. I think where things differ with the beauty industry is that while I love a glass of red wine and dessert, it’s not something I do all day, everyday. With beauty and skincare products, it is something affecting you all day. You wake up, wash your face, moisturize, put on your makeup, wash your hands throughout the day, put on hand cream, take off your makeup, wash your face and repeat. Do I skip washing my hands in communal bathrooms because I don’t want to use the soap? No. But in my own home I make a conscious effort to avoid products that I know to be harmful to my body. One body wash (similar to one glass of wine) won’t have long-term impacts on your health, but persistent, daily use will. And that’s where companies like Beautycounter become important.

Where to Buy Beautycounter?

This is where things get interesting. Rather than heading to a clean beauty store or to somewhere like Sephora or Ulta Beauty, Beautycounter sells through Multilevel Marketing (MLM). Now I’ll be honest, this was and remains my biggest gripe with Beautycounter. Is Beautycounter a pyramid scheme? I still don’t really know…

When a company uses an MLM model, they sell their products through consultants and each consultant has a mentor so with each sale of a product, that consultant makes a commission and their mentor, and their mentor’s mentor etc… make a commission.  This means you will buy your Beautycounter products through a consultant. So unlike the products I buy from Credo Beauty (my favorite clean beauty store), which normally specialize in a couple of products within either the skincare or beauty world, Beautycounter brands all of their products across categories and everything is purchased through a consultant. Truthfully it become hard to tell if the business is more about clean beauty or recruiting sales consultants to your team. More thoughts on MLMs below.

Why Did I Decide To Try Beautycounter?

Honestly, it comes down to pure and simple curiosity. I’ve just been hearing so much about it. Like I said, I hear from at least one consultant a week (in 2019 this number has since increased to once a day!) asking me to join their team. While I appreciate the thoughtfulness, it’s just never been something I was into. But then a lot of my friends started joining and it got me thinking, there must be more to this than meets the eye? Friends like Lexi and Beth who I trust so I decided to inquire more.

And as I mentioned, I’m a clean beauty addict. I have the Green Beauty Shop where I share the products I’m loving and my YouTube channel where I review clean beauty products. It’s safe to say I have some experience in this area. I wanted to see how Beautycounter would hold up to some of my favorite clean beauty brands. Put simply: I wanted an unbiased Beautycounter review from someone who isn’t a consultant and actually knows what they’re talking about.

My Full Beautycounter Review

Before I jumped in, I asked Lexi and you guys to tell me your favorite products. In full transparency, Lexi sent me some to try, but then after asking you guys on Instagram stories I ended up putting in another huge order of products.

I’m not going to individually go through each product I tried here on the blog, but for the full Beautycounter review of each product, I filmed a video capturing my honest thoughts. I’m holding nothing back so this is all the 100% honest truth.

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  Besides my thoughts on each individual product, I did appreciate the packaging and delivery of the products. I definitely don’t need beautiful packaging, and there’s nothing I hate more than excessive packaging, but I do want to receive products in tact and well organized. I’ve had products from other companies show up exploded or broken and especially for a beauty company, I do expect a step-up from Amazon Prime #justbeinghonest

But let’s chat some pros and cons and my initial thoughts after 30 days of Beautycounter.

Is Beautycounter Worth It?

The Pros of Beautycounter

Like I said, I wasn’t expecting to find any pros, but honestly was surprised by the things I discovered!

1) They are great for someone who is new to green beauty/skincare – As someone who is well versed in this space and also loves experimenting with new products, this isn’t a priority for me, but for someone who is brand new, it is nice that there is a single company you can get all of your beauty, skincare and hair care products from.

2) Their product selection is vast – It’s awesome that you can basically get all of your products at the click of the button and in the mail. They pretty much have everything so it’s a one-stop-shop for anyone who doesn’t enjoy shopping for beauty and skincare products.

3) Their products are pretty good quality – I definitely don’t love all of their products, but there were some that I really enjoyed. Overall I’d say they are decent quality albeit very expensive.

4) They actually care about cleaner products – They go beyond just offering more natural products to consumers. They’re actually lobbying in Washington to get certain ingredients banned from our conventional skincare/beauty products and are trying to increase regulation.

The Cons of Beautycounter

1) They are not the most natural – Some consultants discuss this, others do not. Beautycounter may be cleaner but they are not chemical-free. They use quite a few synthetics in their products, but ones that are shown to have little to no impact on the body. My biggest complaint is that I’ll find a comparable product to one that I already use and the ingredients are twice as long in the BC product. I believe they use more synthetics to increase the shelf-life, which I understand but personally prefer products that use fewer and less synthetic ingredients. This is really a personal preference thing but worth noting for this Beautycounter review.

2) Multilevel Marketing scares me – It’s the truth. Consultants are presented as “experts” but the reality is that they are just like me and don’t have all the answers. Experts in skincare usually spend years studying and understanding skin so I don’t love that people without credentials are giving out advice when they don’t always know what’s best. And then there’s the fact that MLMs generally aren’t built for people or “businesses” to succeed. In the end it’s a lot of consultants supposedly “investing” in their businesses but really it’s just Beautycounter’s gain…more on this below.

3) Not all of their products compare to alternatives out there – Based on my experience, only about a 1/4-1/3 of the products compared or were better than other alternatives. There are just simply companies out there that are making better products and sometimes for MUCH cheaper. Maybe it’s because they’re more focused on one or several products rather than a whole line of skincare and beyond, but I just wasn’t overwhelmed by how amazing everything was. Some were good, some were bad and I would hate for people to give up on green beauty just because a product they tried from Beautycounter didn’t work for them.

Why I Became a Consultant Read on…It Didn’t Last Long!

After my 30 days and completing this Beautycounter Review, I decided to become a consultant for two reasons:

1) I wanted to see what this process looked like – I was curious what it meant to become a consultant. Basically all you need is a mentor, so essentially someone who is already a consultant and can guide you (mine is Lexi) and $85 to sign-up. In the mail I got a HUGE stack of papers and books that I’m expected to read. Truth is, I haven’t opened them. Mainly because I’m a digital person and I prefer to read online, but also because it was so overwhelming. Which makes me wonder how many consultants have felt the same way. The do have modules available online for training, but again how many consultants actually complete these? Which brings me back to point #2 above about MLM. This is a huge generalization, but I do have my doubts.

2) I support their mission and some of their products -There were some products that I was really impressed by and would 100% purchase again. If I would repurchase something I always tell you about it, because I think it’s worthwhile. And because I make a living off of this, it’s always nice to get a kickback from recommending it. I also love that they are a company that isn’t just selling products but also trying to change legislation and that is something I can definitely get behind.

In the end these were the 3 products I actually liked: Nude Eyeshadow Palette |  Cleansing Balm |  Balancing Face Mask

NOTE: since the time of this publishing in 2017 I’ve decided to no longer remain a consultant.  As I wasn’t a huge fan of most of the products, I wasn’t pushing and selling intentionally. To remain a Beautycounter consultant you must sell a certain amount or pay to be reinstituted. They are not transparent about this quota so after 6 months I was told to either meet my quota or pay to remain a consultant. None of this sat well with me so I left the program.

* * * * *

So there you have it! Don’t forget to watch my video review of all the products I tried. I really hope this post has been educational for you and I’m always here to answer questions if you have any. You know I try to keep this space 100% transparent and I love being a guinea pig and providing my feedback, but as always this is just my personal opinion. I’m all ears to hear your thoughts!

Like this post? Here are a few others you might enjoy:

5 Natural Skincare Alternatives to Beautycounter The Best Skincare Products from Whole Foods Natural Deodorants that Actually Work

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