#bc my teeth are just the worst. they have never been good except in terms of pointiness

[ourbastardofsorrows]

ad over the cvs intercom: send your father a card to let him know how much he means to you!

me, physically shaking from the effort to not laugh like a demented hyena:

[whenallelsefails-eatpie]

Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so. 

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you  and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual  ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green 

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion. 

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face.  Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol. 

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck. 

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point 

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore 

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style. 

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms. 

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry. 

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Cookie

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve. 

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some. 

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands. 

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them. 

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet. 

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean. 

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

[generallynerdy]

Our Little Secret Part 14/Finale (Merlin & Child!Reader, Mordred X Reader)

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13

Summary: (Y/N) and Merlin have to come to terms with their little secret being revealed. Everyone else has to adjust to the fact that they’ve been lied to for years by the two people they trusted most.

Key: (Y/N) - your name

Warnings: eMoTiONs, mentions of injuries, mentions of near death, recovery, magic-phobia?, u can’t prove that it’s an author insert fuck u

Word Count: 4,236

Note: is it,,,is it over yet? am i free,,,? extra long final (except the epilogue) part bc i love u

    “This is harder than I thought it would be,” (Y/N) muttered, legs hanging over the edge of the mountain.

    “Really?” Beside her, Merlin snorted. “This isn’t even the worst it could be.”

    She looked over at him with wide eyes. “What’s the worst it could be?”

    “Uther could still be alive.”

    “Touché.”

    The pair rested in silence, watching the sun slowly crawl up the sky. Dawn had come a while ago, but they had yet to leave Camlann. Arthur wanted to scour the battlefield for their men, dead and wounded. They gathered all the dead and were giving them proper funerals or packing up their bodies to take back to family, if they had any. The wounded were taken care of by Gaius, but many of them didn’t survive.

    (Y/N) had not entered the medic tent again, instead spending her time with Merlin and giving Arthur a few hours time before she dared show her face. It killed her to stay away from Mordred, but she felt it was best.

    “I’m sorry for everything,” (Y/N) said suddenly, breaking the silence. “For not talking to you, for not listening to you, either.”

    “No, you were right not to,” Merlin admitted, not looking away from the view in front of them. “I was being ridiculous. I was so worried about Mordred being the druid to kill Arthur that I didn’t consider that my decisions might push him to that.”

    (Y/N)’s eyes widened. “It wasn’t your fault, Merlin. Morgana controlled him.”

    “The only reason he didn’t choose it on his own was because of you,” Merlin said, finally turning to her. “If Arthur had made a decision against magic or someone doing magic, Mordred might have turned. You being here stopped him and I should’ve seen that.”

    “So…” She grinned. “Are you sorry for being a clotpole?”

    Merlin sighed and put an arm around her, drawing her into a hug. “I’m sorry for being a clotpole.”

    It took (Y/N) a while to get the courage to go into the medic tent again. When she did, she saw Leon lingering by Mordred’s cot. Gwen and Arthur were nowhere in sight, nor was Gaius, but he was rather busy as it was.

    She wandered over to the cot, pulling up a chair and sitting on the opposite side that Leon did. She didn’t meet his gaze at first, just taking Mordred’s hand and remaining silent.

    “(Y/N)?” Leon started.

    It took everything in her to ignore him, to look down at her hands and refuse to make eye contact. Though he couldn’t get her complete attention, she was still listening and he knew it.

    “I don’t hate you.”

    (Y/N)’s head shot up against her own intuition. She didn’t speak, eyebrows lowered and searching his face to see if he was lying.

    “I don’t hate you,” he said again, a little louder. “I could never.”

    He’d heard what she said to Gaius about being worried that everyone would hate her. What (Y/N) didn’t understand was how he didn’t hate her.

    “I’ve been lying to you since I’ve known you,” she said. “How are you not upset?”

    Leon sighed. “I’m...upset you didn’t feel like you could trust me with your little secret, but nothing else.”

    “You--” (Y/N) tilted her head. “You don’t think magic is evil?”

    “Druids saved my life, remember?” He smiled fondly. “Since then, I’ve known magic isn’t innately evil. And neither are you. You’re my friend, my sister. The most evil thing you’ve done to me is have Spot wake me up in the morning.”

    (Y/N) laughed shakily, remembering it fondly. She did it a little too often, more than Leon would like, but it was entertaining.

    “The others don’t hate you, either,” Leon said.

    She shook her head. “You don’t know that.”

    “I’m sure of it. If they really love and care about you, then this won’t change anything,” he told her. “It hasn’t for me.”

    “Thank you,” she whispered, moving her hand from Mordred’s to his, making him smile.

    There was a pause before he squeezed her hand and stood, letting go. “I’ll check on the others. Take care of him.”

    “I will,” (Y/N) muttered as he left.

    For a good while, (Y/N) was left alone. She dozed off a few times, trying to get much needed rest. Gaius dropped by and checked on her wounds, which were luckily minor. She never left Mordred’s side, constantly making sure he was alright. It took him a few hours, just as Merlin predicted, before he began to stir.

    “(Y/N)?” He croaked out, opening his eyes slowly.

    She snapped to attention and smiled, holding his hand. When he started to sit up, she stopped him. “Careful, careful. Merlin said you’d be sore.”

    “Ow,” he muttered, but froze. He smiled slightly. “The spell worked.”

    In his moment of awe, (Y/N) leaned forward and took him in her arms. She held him tightly and felt his arms wrap around her lovingly.

    “I was terrified,” she whispered. “I thought I’d lost you.”

    Mordred let her go for just a second, drawing closer to her face and caressing her cheek. “It was you that brought me back,” he muttered. “Seeing you broke the spell.”

    “I love you, too,” she said, echoing some of his dying words. She kissed him softly, hand buried in his messy curls.

    After that, they spoke in hushed tones. (Y/N) updated Mordred on what had happened. They held a brief moment of silence for Morgana, remembering the woman she had once been. She told him about what Leon said to her and he celebrated with her, but then the conversation was drawn to the topic of their magic.

    “They all know about my little secret now, too,” Mordred muttered. “The rumours can’t have passed by them.”

    (Y/N) took his hand. “We’ll be okay.”

    “You really believe that?”

    “We’ve been through so much worse, Mordred,” she said firmly.

    He laughed a little. “Fair enough. I have almost died twice-- and that’s not counting my childhood.”

    They shared a laugh that was interrupted by a dog’s yip. Spot raced in from out of nowhere, trying to jump on Mordred’s bed and smother him. (Y/N) reprimanded him and he soon calmed down, but neither of them knew where he came from.

    Unbeknownst to them, Gwen and Gaius had kept him in the medic tent the whole time, keeping the loyal dog from harm.

    There were many bridges to cross on the way home, but at least they had each other.

    Back in Camelot, rumours flew left and right. The majority of the population was aware of Mordred’s presence in the city and were furious, confused as to why Arthur would harbour an enemy. He planned to speak on his behalf, but he wanted answers from Merlin and (Y/N) first.

    Meanwhile, the animosity, or at least tension, between (Y/N) and the other knights did not go unnoticed. Merlin’s temporary absence from his master’s side was noticed, too, as was Mordred’s stay in the court physician’s quarters rather than his own in the knights’ quarters. The entire tightly knit group of Arthur’s closest friends seemed to be falling apart, for reasons unknown to everyone.

    One day, (Y/N) was summoned to the throne room, though Mordred, Merlin, and Gaius were told to remain behind.

When she arrived there, after nonstop reassurances from the Merlin to the young knight, she found that it was not the council gathered, but instead her friends. Gwen and Arthur sat on their thrones, while the knights stood dutifully about the room. (Y/N) had a distinct feeling that this was not a purely social audience.

Arthur began to question her, as if she was a suspect in a crime. Leon shot her uncomfortable glances, wishing he could make it stop.

“How long has Merlin been teaching you?”

Merlin had already had a long discussion with Arthur, giving him practically his whole life story, from his father, to his mother, to his powers, to the dragon he freed from under Camelot. Arthur knew almost everything about him. Now, it was (Y/N)’s turn.

“Since a few years after I met you, my lord,” she said.

His expression showed no change. “Who knew about your...little secret?”

“Merlin, Gaius, Mordred-- ever since we were little.” She began to list them off, remembering each fondly. She paused, saying the next name too quietly for him to hear.

“Speak up.”

(Y/N) sighed. “Lancelot.”

Leon shot her a sympathetic glance and Gwen looked absolutely decimated by this fact. A few sombered, but the expressions were gone as quickly as they had appeared.

“Morgana knew, too,” (Y/N) muttered.

Arthur lowered his eyebrows. “You told her?”

“No, sire,” she stammered. “She, uh, had me followed and I didn’t realize. It was a while before Ismere-- just after we buried Lancelot.”

Suddenly, Arthur asked a question that left her dumbfounded.

“Have you ever used magic against someone? Or to get what you wanted?” He asked stiffly.

Her jaw dropped as she looked up at him, appalled that he could even ask her such a question. She glanced around at the others, as if asking whether they believed she could be capable of that, but most of them didn’t make eye contact. Elyan just looked away, perhaps ashamed at the question. Gwaine stared right through her, which was arguably more chilling. Percival was the only one to meet her eye. She couldn’t read him, though. (Y/N) didn’t know what he meant, looking at her like that.

“No, sir,” she said firmly, teeth clenched. “The worst I’ve done is defend myself.”

“And the second part?” He questioned further.

She paused. “One thing.” They all looked terrified, but she smiled. “I used my magic to help a little druid boy escape the castle, a long time ago. Morgana, Merlin, and my lady were there. You were, too.”

She spoke bravely and Arthur went silent after that, his eyes darkened with reminiscence. They had saved Mordred long ago, even though he was a druid. (Y/N) was trying to remind her king of this.

“I asked Merlin to take me as an apprentice the day I met him,” she said, taking her turn to give a speech. She was young, but she had so much to say. “I started a few years later and I-- I didn’t realise what I was getting myself into. I didn’t understand the secret I had to keep, the people I had to keep it from. I didn’t understand the consequences. But I did later. And I could’ve easily given up then, but I didn’t. My magic is part of who I am, it has been for a long time. Just because you know about it now doesn’t change me. But I am sorry, deeply sorry, that I’ve hurt you-- all of you.”

As (Y/N) was leaving the throne room, she did not see Leon go to follow her.

“Leon--” Elyan started, grabbing his arm to stop him.

The senior knight turned to him with a frown. He looked at all of them gathered, who were staring at him, waiting for his move. He scoffed a little and pulled away from Elyan’s grip, shaking his head at them.

“I can’t believe you,” he said to them as a friend, rather than a knight. “It’s (Y/N).”

With that said, he was met with silence. He shook his head again and rushed out of the throne room, catching up to (Y/N). He took her arm and they started toward god knows where.

As soon as he left, Percival took a second to think before following him. No one dared stop the giant, nor did they dare even try. He caught up to Leon and (Y/N). They didn’t make him say a thing, simply letting him join them. That was enough of an apology-- and a reassurance.

Later, when (Y/N) returned to check on Mordred, she was accompanied by Percival. Leon had to abandon them earlier for work purposes.

Entering Gaius’ chambers, they found Mordred asleep in his bed, but he was not alone. Sitting in a chair pulled up beside him was Queen Guinevere, who looked up as they walked in. (Y/N) froze up and turned to Percival, but wasn’t sure what to say.

“(Y/N),” Gwen said. “Can we talk?”

“Of course, my lady--” She began.

Gwen interrupted her with a shake of her head. “Just as friends,” she smiled.

Percival cleared his throat and nodded at both of them. “I’ll just--” he started, backing away from the room. “Goodnight.”

(Y/N) closed the door behind him as he left. When she and the queen were left alone, there was silence. The young knight crossed the room to Mordred’s bed, checking on him as he snored lightly. She couldn’t help smiling to herself at his peaceful slumber, but let the smile fall when she noticed Gwen staring.

Trying to avoid conversation, (Y/N) lifted her hand and began a spell, gesturing to the pitcher of water on the table. She stopped instantly when she saw Gwen’s eyes widen, the yellow glow in her own eyes fading.

She started to walk toward the pitcher, but Gwen spoke, stopping her.

“You shouldn’t have to hide it,” she said.

(Y/N) reeled. “What?”

    “You don’t have to hide it now,” Gwen repeated. “Why avoid using it if there’s no consequence anymore?”

    “I--” (Y/N) sighed. “I don’t know if Arthur would like that.”

    The queen smiled. “Well, he’s not here now, is he?”

    She was shaken by the queen’s easy going reply. Unsure, she lifted her hand again. She finished the enchantment this time and the pitcher went flying into her hand, spilling just a little bit of water. Two cups flew over from the table at her command as well and soon she was pouring the liquid into them. (Y/N) passed one to Gwen and kept one for herself, pulling up another chair beside her.

    “Did you know?” (Y/N) asked her suddenly.

    “About your little secret?” Gwen laughed. “No, of course not.”

    The younger one tilted her head. “Then how are you so...unbothered by this?”

    “I just think it explains a lot,” she admitted. “Besides, I’ve suspected Merlin for a long time.”

    “You’re kidding,” (Y/N) gaped.

    “He’s not exactly conspicuous,” Gwen laughed.

    She shrugged with a fond smile. “Well, he’s kept it hidden for this long.”

    “Fair enough.”

    “What made you think he had magic? When were you really sure he was hiding something?” (Y/N) asked out of pure curiosity.

    Gwen sighed. “You were so angry with him after Mordred came back with that spear injury, the one that almost killed him. I didn’t understand until I considered that he might have magic. You were upset because he wouldn’t heal him, weren’t you?”

    “He refused,” (Y/N) confirmed, nodding solemnly. “I stopped talking to him after that.”

    “I don’t blame you. If someone did the same to Arthur…” She trailed off, not even wanting to think about it.

    It was beginning to get dark, so (Y/N) lit a few candles, requiring just a simple spell. Gwen almost awed at it, which made the young knight flustered. No one had ever taken this much of an interest in her magic, not since Lancelot.

    “It really doesn’t bother you?”

    “Absolutely not,” Gwen reassured her. “It explains so much and-- and it sounds silly, but I feel like I know you better now.”

    (Y/N) could not help hugging her friend, burying her head in her shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered. “It means so much to me.”

    A soft knocking came from the door and both women turned their attention to a short figure entering the room. It was Elyan, who seemed to have been there for a good while. He had heard at least the last part of their conversation, which (Y/N) felt red in the face about. Gwen looked rather pleased with herself, though.

    The queen stood and crossed the room, taking her brother’s wrist and dragging him back over to (Y/N). The young knight stood from her chair to meet them, remaining silently confused by whatever was happening.

    “Tell her,” Gwen said firmly to her brother.

    Elyan took a deep breath. “(Y/N), I--” He glanced at Gwen, who nodded. “I’m sorry I’ve been treating you terribly. To be honest, I was...not happy when I found out about your little secret. Magic killed our father and since then--”

    “I understand,” (Y/N) said quickly.

    “No, wait,” Elyan stammered. “Just because one sorcerer killed my father doesn’t mean every sorcerer will be just as bad and you certainly won’t. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.”

    Before she could say a word, he hugged her tightly, almost cutting off her airflow. She laughed, telling him it was okay and hugging him back. Gwen stared on proudly at her work, as it had taken hours to convince her brother to speak to (Y/N). Though she still could not convince Arthur to work out these things, at least she could get Elyan to do so.

    “I love both of you so much,” (Y/N) said softly, dragging Gwen into the hug. “You’re like the siblings I never had.”

    As Arthur had yet to speak about the rumours going around that (Y/N) and Merlin were sorcerers, the former was loathe to go outside. However, when she heard that Gwaine had left the castle and run off without any sign of where he went, she knew she had to do something. She had a feeling she knew where he was-- and a feeling that he was waiting for her.

    She found him in the clearing outside the city, just where she thought he would be. It was here the old Lancelot had been put the rest, because it was such a perfect place for him. It was here Gwaine had trained (Y/N), because she thought Lancelot being there would help her. It was here Morgana had discovered her little secret.

    “Gwaine?” (Y/N) asked quietly.

    He was standing above the stone, holding the hilt of his sword so firmly that it looked as if it might shatter like glass. “I knew I could never replace him,” he said without turning around. “I knew I could never be as perfect as he was. I knew I couldn’t be him.”

    “Gwaine--” She tried to say.

    “But to not tell me about this?” His voice betrayed him as he turned, eyes wet with tears. “To know that I was nothing compared to Gaius, to Merlin, to Lancelot, to Mordred? To find out I was nothing in your heart? Why, (Y/N)?”

    “I couldn’t tell you,” she sobbed. Her heart was already broken at his words. “I wanted to-- I planned to after Ismere, but-- but--”

    She took a deep breath, trying to shove away the memories. She didn’t want to remember Ismere, much less what Morgana had done to her there. However, she needed to tell Gwaine what had kept her from telling him everything. He had to know that he was just as important to her as the others, that she meant so much to him that she would rather have died than have him hate her for this.

    “Morgana found out about my magic, like I said. But she knew I had to be taught by someone. She used you-- you and Percival against me,” (Y/N) said, shuddering as she did. “To find out who taught me. She needed to know who Emrys was, the one destined to destroy her-- that was Merlin. I almost told her. I would have told her, given time. After we got out, I knew I couldn’t tell any of you. If you knew about Merlin, who he was to Morgana, then she could have tortured you, pulled it from you and I-- I would’ve been to blame.”

    “I wouldn’t have told her,” Gwaine hissed. “Do you trust me so little?”

    (Y/N) leapt at him and wrapped him in her embrace. “I know you wouldn’t have. I just didn’t want her to have any reason to torture you like she did with me. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” She kissed his cheek, still shaking. “You mean so much to me. You’re not New Lancelot-- you haven’t been for a long time. You’re Gwaine.”

    Arthur was the last one left.

Everyone else had approached, apologised, and asked more about (Y/N) and Merlin’s magic. In fact, many of them were rather curious about the whole thing. They were amazed by the range of bullshit the two could get up to with the assistance of their magic alone.

Meanwhile, the king refused to talk to either of them. He had shut himself off from the world, from everyone, even Gwen. She was scared for him and begged (Y/N) to step in. Perhaps she could appear unthreatening to him, unlike Merlin. Perhaps she could get through to the man.

She caught him alone in the throne room one morning, a place where he was cornered. He sat upon his throne and watched her with curious eyes. Then, he stood, leaning over the back of the chair and sighing.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He asked.

“I wanted to more than anything,” she said in almost a whisper. “But I was just a child. I was so scared. I was terrified of Uther, of Agravaine, of someone discovering me and-- and what you might do if you found out.”

She noticed his face flash in betrayal and sadness for a second, but it disappeared in an instant.

“I didn’t want you to have to decide between saving me or following the law. It wasn’t fair,” she muttered. “And I didn’t want--”

She stopped.

“Didn’t want what? To die?” He laughed coldly. “Can’t blame you there.”

“Every day of my life was a risk. I could’ve died any day, but I didn’t want to die at your hand.” She took a deep breath. “But more than anything, I-- Arthur, you have every reason to hate magic. You have every reason to hate it for what it’s done to you, for what people have done to you using it.”

It was true, every word that she spoke. Magic had killed Arthur’s family; corrupted them, tortured them. Arthur had every reason to despise magic and neither Merlin nor (Y/N) could deny that.

“I was terrified that hate would translate to me,” she admitted.

His eyes softened and he looked upon her with wonder. “You thought I would hate you? Why?”

“Because--” She scoffed. “Because I chose to practice something that had done such harm to you, to all of us. I just didn’t want you to hate me and-- and I still don’t.”

Suddenly, the king crossed the room. He paused, standing there in front of her. That little girl who had stood up to him about punishing Merlin unjustly was gone. She was a woman now, a powerful sorceress that Arthur owed for a great many things. Part of him was still upset, both at her and himself for the fact that she hadn’t told him, that she felt she couldn’t trust him enough to tell him about her magic. But the other part held nothing but love for her.

It was this part of him that took over when he hugged her, shocking her to the point where she froze.

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered. “I’m upset you didn’t tell me and I don’t know how long it will be before we can fully trust each other again, but I don’t-- and I will never-- hate you, (Y/N).”

The young knight sniffed heavily and hugged her king, who was more like her brother at this moment. She took in a deep breath and almost laughed out of relief.

“You’ll talk to Merlin, won’t you? Tell him the same thing?”

“I don’t know. I look at him and I want to punch his teeth out.”

“Call me crazy, Arthur, but that sounds about normal.”

Elsewhere…

A small hut in the woods was practically invisible to those who did not seek it out directly.

Inside this hut, a girl in a dark cloak pulled its hood over her face. She mixed herbs and vials together in a small bowl. It produced a blood red liquid, which she gathered in a tiny bottle, shaking it about. She turned to face a long wooden table that held a great weight on its ancient legs.

A dead man lied upon it, his dark hair and beard ratted. He was dressed in rugged peasants’ clothing, an outfit unfitting for a knight of his standing.

The witch-- ahem, sorceress-- took the bottle carefully and poured it into his mouth, forcing him to swallow it. After a moment of unresponsiveness, the dead man gasped into his lungs his second breath of first life. He looked around wildly, but was tied to the table as a precaution.

Meanwhile, the girl turned and smiled at him. “Alright, you handsome bastard. Up and at ‘em. I didn’t murder a man for nothing. Time to send you back to Camelot before my readers murder me.”

Merlin Tags: @pearlll09

Masterlist

[dickgreyson]

12, 36 and 42?

12. What was your last dream about? the last dream i remember was wild, it started off really nice like i had a wife and we were lazing around, and then like i couldnt move which kinda sucked and then i was out with some friends and like my teeth started falling out (which mum and i googled once it just means i have anxiety apparently, who knew) and then at some point i fell over and wrecked my macbook, again anxiety bc i cant afford to replace it, and then the whole dream wound up with me picking my sister up from cheer practice. it was wild and i woke up exhausted.

36. Favorite clean word? i like the word ephemeral bc it sounds like a medical term, and i like the word Euphrates bc it sounds rly grand but also kinda like a train

42. Are you a good judge of character? no im the worst judge of character!!! ive never not been let down by a friend!!!! except maybe one, but honestly every time mum meets a friend shes like “i hate that person” and im like whatever then 2 months later im crying over a cup of tea and mums like “yeah. thats what i said.” like i just attract fake people sjdkfSKJDFK

get to know me uncomfortably well

[wallyaxiom]

task 04; journey of the featherless

❝ He wasn’t like Wally. He wasn’t this ray of sunshine that turned assholes like Jafar into decent people❞

Describe your character; How do you see your character in your own eyes and not based off the bio. How have you developed this character into your own?

SO A LOT HAS CHANGED SINCE THE LAST TIME I WROTE THIS LMFAO. How do I even describe Wally??? He honestly means so damn much to me for many reasons mostly because he’s the character i‘ve had the longest. I’ve had him for maybe 8 years??? and he’s truly come leaps and bounds from where he once was. Wally is the actual human form of sunshine. He just emits light and love wherever he goes. He has one of the biggest hearts around and sometimes that gets him in trouble. He sees the good in everyone (except maybe auto but you know auto’s a d i c k). Wally has really come into his own these past few years. He’s learned to love himself, like, genuinely love himself. That has always been wally’s biggest struggle. All his life he was told he was nothing and treated like absolute trash by the BNL gang and the axioms. when he first came to walt he was this stuttering insecure mess, basically austin. He was scared of his own shadow and afraid to be loved, even touched. Now that’s not the case at all. He’s genuinely happy. he’s very confident with himself. Now that i’ve played wally long enough i’ve gotten to explore more bits and pieces of him and he’s quite feminine and he’s not ashamed of it he embraces it. He doesn’t feel like he has to hide who he is anymore because he’s married to one of the most understanding, supportive and loving men ever. Wally is a fighter. He’s come so damn far and I am proud of my little bean. 

What’s your favorite thing about your character? what’s your least favorite?

There’s so many things about wally that I love, I love how carefree and spirited he is. I really love how fucking sassy he is. like my boy has SASS. But really my favorite thing about Wally is his ability to love just about anything and anyone. Which is one of his down falls as well, because he just sees the good even in the worst of people and Wally just wants to fix the broken. I would say that i don’t like how he still has a lack of faith in himself. He doesn’t hate himself as much as he used to but he doesn’t believe in his capabilities. also he’s a fucking tease like rip oliver spade. 

What are some of your favorite relationships your character has formed? (Friendships, relationships, yada ya)

omgomg I love wally and silvermist. she’s the little sister he’s always wanted (before he knew marjoire existed rip me!!) and they’re just so pure and cute. I also love his relationship with Aurora. They’re both hopeless romantics and becca i’m so sorry i’m trash with replying but like their friendship has to flourish even more because they’re very a like and wally adored her. his relationship with donicia is so sweet too like omg they rot my teeth.

i’ll throw in next gen too because do i REALLY want to make more posts than I need to??? the answer is no. 

HELLO I LOVE SAD BREAKFAST CLUB THEY ARE MY LIFE. THEIR DIIFERENT PERSONALITIES AND DYNAMICS MAKE MY HEART SO HAPPY LIKE IVE ALWAYS WANTED A SQUAD AND NOW I GOT ONE AND EVERYONE IS JUST SO PERFECT AND WODNERFUL AND FUCK WIL I EVER GET MY OWN SAD BREAKFAST CLUB IRL??

cyrus and austin??? binch I love them

fucking daisy and austin are the cutest, purest ship i’ve had and god i love them so fucking much like when 2gen rolls around i’m always so pumped to have them like I love them that much i miss them when we’re not in next gen world i just love them so fucking much it’s fine i’m fine ya’ll wanna see pics of their kids in the future?? they CUTE

allison and remus oh my gOD they hurt me but i’m so excited to see where they go like allison totally likes this boy and remus, god bless his soul, deserves so fucking good already in his life. they’re gonna hurt me i know this they’re going to kick me in my feels but I am ready for the pain ahead

bee, you already know i’m pumped for nina and nikki. my lil gay heart is thriving. can their ship name be spaqueen??? lmfao. listen it’s hard to come up with a ship name for them lET ME LIVE.

dj and kennedy are silvally 2.0 and i cry about it on the daily. 

Do i really need to get into walliver tho? Like we ALL know they’re story. They’re soulmates. I love them. they’re my longest ship. they my first married ship w/ kids. They make me believe in love and i’m pissedt and that I haven’t found my oliver yet. universe wyd !!!

Has your character changed you in any way? Or do you yourself in yourself in your character?

Wally’s changed me a lot. If anything. I’ve played many characters, and my biggest problem rping is that I can never connection with a character. I don’t see a story. There’s only one other character i’ve connected with the way I have with wally, but in all honesty Wally is the character I hold closet to my heart. Because I think there’s a bit of wally in all of us. We want to be loved and give love. We want to have hope in something that’s bigger than ourselves. That there’s this light at the end of the tunnel in whatever we’re searching for. We’re all just dreamers and I guess that’s the best way to sum up wally. He’s a dreamer and a believer. I give Wally a lot of praise, but it’s because he’s the thing i’m most proud of. He’s apart of me, and he’s as weird as it sounds, he’s help me grow as a person. Sometimes I wish I was more like Wally. I wish I could be happy about life and enjoy the little things and just love everything and everyone as much as he does. I’ve been told i’m sunshine before so I guess wally and I are a lot a like. So wally’s a big part of me and always has been. Like I said, wally’s just a good person. He’s the good in me I wish I had more of to be honest. or at least showed more of. 

Do you think your character has had a big impact on Walt? Is it a good impact or bad?

I think Wally’s had a good impact. In all honestly, I didn’t think people were going like wally, or like, not really pay attention him. Yet this fucker’s impacted a good chunk of people. I just, sometimes I cry about it that so many people like him and that he does effect so many characters. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside that I finally did something right with a character and it only took years of roleplaying. aye.

Favorite thing your character has done and worst

FALLING IN LOVE WITH OLIVER MY GOD THAT’S THE BEST THING HES DONE. listen to me when I say wally STRUGGLED for years to come to terms with his sexuality. and when he finally fell in love with Oliver oh my god it was the most freeing experience ever for him and he found his best friend and soulmate. The worst thing he’s done?? lmfao the fucking coma. That story arch haunts me to this day. 

What is some progress you hope to have with your character in the future?

I want him to finally give acting a chance

What is one thing you would tell your character?

Honestly, i would tell him i’m proud of him and how far he’s come.

What has been YOUR favorite thing about walt?

My favorite thing about Walt is just how much it’s grown. When we started this roleplay, I was so afraid it was going to flop and people would be like 'oh it’s just another Disney school rp big woop’ but I was proven wrong because over the past views year. sure we’ve had or ups and downs. we’ve had drama that we DON’T speak of or speak of whomst but  walt’s grown into something that I never imagined it could be. we’ve all became a huge family and that’s just…it’s my favorite knowing that. So thank you guys. Walt wouldn’t be what it is without you.

Has your experience been a positive one? (BE HONEST YO.)

I’ll be real sometimes I get stressed out about everything. I’m always doing a million things at once rp and in real life. but i do love this place and all of you and i want to give you all the best roleplay you could ever be a part of. i’m not a perfect admin or rper for that matter but i’m trying. 

Got a favorite memory? Share it!

walliver’s wedding or when they got engaged. I waited fucking YEARS for them to finally be married and now that they are has me shook on the daily. kaitlyn truly left me in the dark and knocked me tf out with their engagement. Like I remember that day so vividly. I was actually crying and screaming because it finally happened. Then I had to wait a damn YEAR for them to get married. a  y e a r.

What are you looking forward too in the future?

More bios, more members, more ships, more everything because I love you all.

Have you had a favorite event? Favorite plot? Share it right here

fucking next gen is my jam ya’ll already KNOW. I also really loved the superhero and 50′s event and i’d love to bring them back one day. also 3gen??? i want that. maybe it’ll be a thing but it’s my jam too. 

Favorite character that’s not your own and why

i have a lot of characters to praise people on so please don’t freak if you’re not on here bc i’m gonna be biased as fuck as always (since it’s wally and he’s my fave bc again biased) and say Oliver. Ya’ll know how much I love oliver spade. I’ve been kaitlyn’s best friend and ship partner for years so i’ve grown an immense love for Oliver. There’s so many layers to him like I always say. He’s a shit head but he’s such a good person. he cares so much about his family and only wants the best for them. he puts others before himself and often forgets to do something for ollie for once. he’s such a hard worker and uhm ya’ll wally’s mans is hot as fuck. have you seen him lately??? like damn. I just love oliver spade with all my heart. Like i can’t even put into words how much i love him because i’ve said it so many times. Oliver has a special place in my heart. 

Ideas, shoutouts, request, dedications, questions? Put ‘em here!

why the fuck am that binch. someone explain.