#bc it's poetry I made myself and I'm trying to get it JUST right

[riveterio]

Dumps All Of My Recent Doodles, WIPS, and pending projects on ya'll again!!!

[kairiscorner]

bc i have no life, i made (and will expand):

dialogue prompts list or something

REMINDERS! imma use these on fics if y'all want, though you guys can use these too for your own fics, just make sure to give me credit and tag me, attaching a link to this post is also appreciated if you use this ^^

(btw, i can also repeat some prompts, though please be patient, i might not be able to post so much this month ^^'')

1.) "you're a bad influence on me, y'know that?" (miles 1610)

2.) "yeah, i risked my skin saving you. i don't care if you wouldn't do the same for me, i'm not you."

3.) "mind using your eyes AND brain next time?"

4.) "my heart beats all the time, shouldn't be a big deal, but i can't help but notice how loud the beating is when you're around." (teen!gojo)

5.) "never really understood poetry, but when i read a few lines from this... you were the image that came out of the words." (noir)

6.) "if you really wanted to drive me insane... you'd hold my hand for more than 5 seconds, then you'll see me insane with love." (noir)

7.) "please, for the love of GOD, never shut up."

8.) "my hands are cold... wait, what are you doing, i thought you brought mitt--never mind, this is nice."

9.) "something tells me you aren't happy about it. and something tells me you'll be angrier if i keep asking. it's okay, take your time. just know i'll be right here for you."

10.) "if you can't believe me, then i'll have to show you that i'm serious about you."

11.) "sometimes, you don't have to worry about loving me enough--you do that too much already. what you should worry about... is giving me too much love that you forget who you're supposed to be loving first: you."

12.) "man, after 5 shots of whiskey and a good laugh, i think i've made up my mind--you're gonna be the one i'll marry." "we just met." "and i just fell for you."

13.) "they came to get their shit back without even getting their shit together, how nice."

14.) "i would've thrown a brick in your window if you didn't answer, and y'know, i was going to, but then i remembered you hated getting stuff on your carpet so i left and did it in my mind."

15.) "i want a platypus. and yes, i want you, too."

16.) "your place is filthy." "it's gonna be yours too, one day." "you mean ours."

17.) "why are my eyes gross right now?" "it's... you're crying." "nu-uh." "y'need a tissue?" "yes please"

18.) "you're so stupid, and reckless, and a literal danger to my very way of life--and yet i love you to bits!"

19.) "if i could just go back in time and see you again, maybe then i'd tell myself to love you for a long, long time. even if i never knew it at the time, i regret all the years we've lost together, i regret living my life without you in it."

20.) "now before you ask why i beat the shit out of him in the locker rooms, it was because he was gonna ask you out before i could, okay?" (soccer captain!miguel)

21.) "i am a fully grown adult. i am capable, i am independent, i am strong-willed." "and you lose your shit when you see me come home with a mcdonalds' kiddie meal."

22.) "nobody loves me..." "..." "ahem, i said, NOBODY LOVES ME" "and i'm nobody?" "yay"

23.) "i just wanna bash their head in, but... it's so distracting. their eyes get me lost and i'm, i'm out of it."

24.) "man, they're a lost cause. and yet i keep busting my ass trying to save them. i love being your spouse and curse being your spouse, dammit."

25.) "i wanna kiss... right now... but my spouse'll... hate me." "i am your spouse." "oh damn, then you'll... hate me if i... if i kiss your pretty face, love..."

26.) "go to bed right now." "no." "i guess i'll give your plushie all my kisses." "ok on my way."

27.) "again, would it be me or them? me who's been with you this whole time, me who's took you in when you're so used to being refused, me who's... who's loved you, all this time?"

28.) "where are my--" "keys? here, scatterbrain." "damn, i'm so glad i married you."

29.) "kids, go to your room." "as your co-parent, i say protect me from the dragon about to breathe fire on me."

30.) "i may be his wife, but i'm not his lover."

31.) "i think you have me confused for someone else."

32.) "it's because i care about you that i push myself away, don't you get that?"

33.) "we'll never be okay again, will we...?"

34.) "the noises in my head keep getting louder and louder and louder, but only you... only you help calm them down."

35.) "oh, i get it, fine. i'll fuck off."

36.) "i want that though." "it's a waste of money." "you got it for me anyway."

37.) "how could you say i don't love you when all my life, you're all i come home to and kiss a good morning and good night?"

38.) "what a stupid man i married."

39.) "don't... fucking move... not unless you want me to do it..."

40.) "you went in my ROOM?"

41.) "i accidentally broke the bed."

42.) "i love you." "what?" "ah fuck, i mean, i'll see you."

43.) "GOD, I HATE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH." "is that why you draw you and them kissing together all the time?"

44.) "i can make a mean burned down house and scorched lawn."

45.) "i'll admit it, fine, i can't win your heart. because your heart isn't any prize to be won, you're not an object. you're... you're you. and i LOVE you."

46.) "what, why're you staring? can't handle how hot i am?" "no, it's just that you've got a shit-eating grin on your face i'd love to punch off you."

47.) "i actually hate summer vacation... i won't be able to see you everyday for 3 whole months."

48.) "ooh, you drank from my cup, you know what this means, we had an indirect kiss."

49.) "just tell your crush you like them already and stop being a big baby about this." "okay, fine. i like you." "wait--"

50.) "i know it looks stupid, but... i tried."

51.) "it's funny, because i had you in mind while making it."

52.) "you think infinity is real, or... are we just living every day hoping tomorrow will come, despite all odds?"

53.) "you're so fucking stupid...! stupid, stupid, stupid... why did you... dammit, why?"

54.) "i don't even know who i share my bed with anymore."

55.) "bite me and get what you want, what we both want."

56.) "we'll never have to see each other again after this."

57.) "quit making promises you can't keep."

58.) "tell me to shut up one more time. go, i'm waiting."

59.) "ah, sorry, i... oh, your hand's really soft."

60.) "what are you doing?" "just capturing the moment in my mind when i'm with the most perfect person in the whole multiverse."

61.) "and you know what your problem is? you can't stand seeing me happy, that's your fucking problem."

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oh oh and sugu in formal clothing... i'm so nsjsbdjjdjsjd. like you mentioned comfort is definitely a priority for him! so nothing too fancy, maybe a pair of slacks that are. a little tight on the waist and the Ahem.. a thick (black) button down paired with a worn out leather belt... which feels So sugu to me in every way. AND OF COURSE THE TOP FEW BUTTONS ARE UNDONE

i feel so crazy the way i need him he's so effortlessly handsome and cool. imagine getting ready with him, brushing and tying his hair (he trusts your judgement more than his own! he'll let you handle his precious beautiful long hair because he trusts you soooo much :(() maybe he helps you put on perfume/cologne. and gives you a dozen too many kisses while he's at it I PROMISE IM SO NORMAL ABOUT GETO SUGURU!!!!!!!!!!!

and ending the day with him... tbh i always think suguru is the perfect person to end the day with or lay down or... he's just so comforting and calm and you can absolutely feel at peace just hearing him near you! i can totally see like... both of you passing out on the bed before changing or showering and just finding your way into each other's arms, because who can resist home?

gah sorry for yapping i'm kind of extremely tired from formal event myself... always has me thinking... what if.. what... Geto BUTi'm making myself sick. i've caught the suguru virus and i'm severely ill... the little mice in my brain.. cannot tell if they are happy or sad

from 🌖 anon! ^ ^

ANOTHER 🌖 ANON ASK HEHE it’s my lucky day <333333 THIS MADE ME SO INSANE BTW…

PHEWWWWWWW SUGU IN FORMAL CLOTHING be still my beating heart ……… YOUR DESCRIPTION MADE ME FEEL SO VERY ILLLLL THE TIGHT WAIST??? THE BELT????? COUPLE BUTTONS UNDONE??????? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 you’re trying to kill me…. i KNOW you are…….. no bc you’re so objectively correct it’s crazy . he’s just. classy and comfortable. he doesn’t even need to Try.

he looks so fucking good in a suit it’s insane ……. LOOK AT HIMMM

sick sick man . he’s so pretty . :(((((

AND PLSSSSS THE WAY OUR BRAINS R SO LINKED 😭😭😭😭 me seeing this right after yapping abt how suguru trusts you w his hair in the last ask you sent …… real recognizes real 🫡🫡 NO BC THAT CONCEPT IS SOOO SICKENINGLY SWEET you’re making me yearn for him so hard yk… getting ready w him…… and him trusting your judgement 🥺🥺 honestly sugu strikes me as the kinda bf who’d wear something he didn’t really like just bc you picked it out for him. bc he only really cares about your judgement anyway!!!! might bully you a little but . he does so lovingly <333 and still wears it proudly <33333 bc his baby picked it out just for him……..

OKAY STOP we’re getting too close to me. melting through the floorboards 😭😭 WAHH he’s just such a sweetie…… AND HIM HELPING YOU PUT ON PERFUME/COLOGNE 🥺🥺🥺 he would kiss you so many times it’s crazy…. and i think he uses the opportunity as an excuse to sniff your neck LMAOO. he’s so sly. ”want me to check if it smells okay? :)” <- he just wants to bury his nose into your neck and inhale your scent,… but he can’t do it unless he has a Reason bc he doesn’t want to come off as weird. (satoru on the other hand has no shame and will sniff you randomly and incessantly <333 he just loves your natural scent sm. freak.)

AND THEN . ending the day w him 🥺🥺🥺 ohhhh 🌖 anon you know the way to my heart……… you really really do………… i agree completely :’3 he’s the perfect person to relax and unwind with. helps you shower or take off your makeup if you wear any…. lets you take care of him if you want bc he can’t say no to you and your soft hands…….. and then curling up next to you under the covers and tucking you into his chest. ”because who can resist home?” <- I GENUINELY CRIED I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY :((((( this line reached through my screen and turned my heart into mush…….. who can resist home:(((((((( have you considered a career in poetry my sweet anon. bc i’d gladly read it. he’s your home!!! and you’re his!!!!!

sniffleeeee i feel so sappy today T_T i love him…. and i love you……. never apologize for yapping i love hearing you yap and forcing you to listen to me yap in return <33333 we’re making the sugu brainrot worse for each other aren’t we…… AND PLSS THE MICE IN YOUR BRAIN 😭😭 i hope they’re okay. mine definitely aren’t. terminally ill….. the only cure is suguru geto jjk….. sniffle……….

[sixosix]

girl (/gn) i totally get you esp about being a xiao kisser.. like?? imagine being so down bad for your main but you can barely write him as good as you do for the rest of your faves :')) BUT BRO (/gn) I SERIOUSLY LOOOOVE ALL YOUR FICS!! the moment i found you, binged each n every one >:)) it's okay, xiao will find his time to shine, so much so that you'll feel super proud once it happens.

ANYWHOOOO!! here is the brainrot that i got, i really hope that i sent this at a good time, otherwise feel free to just let this float away~ (also i'm so, so hooked by thawed. lyney had absolutely no right to be so delulu over the reader- I LEGIT GIGGLED WHEN LYNETTE SAID PROPOSED TO THE READER COME AWNNN!!! lyney, honey, i will shake you by the shoulders.)

promise by laufey, right?

i personally think this song has such a very.. hurt, hurt, hurt, comfort and then more hurt, but at last, comfort vibe. it fits both boys - both lyney and aether. they are so magnificent, shining brightly on their own- one on a stage and the other across nations. pulling away from them hurts like a bitch, because their love felt like a warm embrace that burned like a bandage each time you tried to yank away.

being with them was like heaven. being with them brought you the kind of joy that eternal paradise would supply. being with them .. archons, being with them felt like their mere presence could shelter you away from the darkness of the world.

and it hurts to be something.

because being with them meant danger. meant arguments- ones that neither of you can win. it spelled disaster with each wound, and caused misery with each day left alone to one's devices. being with them meant that you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit- oh, you've done the math. there was no solution, and there was no way to force you — a mere extra puzzle piece — to fit their masterpiece.

yet it's worse to be nothing with them.

ok n then that's the end of my brainy brainrot.. the second last verse in the song:

So I broke my promise

I called you last night

I shouldn't have, I wouldn't have

If it weren't for the sight of a boy

Who looked just like you

Standing out on Melrose Avenue

can you imagine just how beautiful it would be to imagine a scene where you taught you mistook the sight of the one closest to your heart, and in an act of desperation and longing, you try to hurry and contact them. shaky hands and shivering figure, your heart practically weeping with overdue worry and grief of your past relationship, only to find them also looking for you- as if it was fate. clinging to each other and pouring your hearts out into the only two souls that could hear you two.

AHHH THAT'S IT THOO,,, hope you didn't mind the brainrot, i totally really just "hm user sixosix would very much enjoy this idea methinks" BUT I DID NOT PLAN THIS OUT VERY WELL. hope you're having a good day, afternoon, evening, night!! ❤️

HI!!! i see ur reblogs a lot so its rlly rlly nice to see u interacting more and more often! :D im soso happy u like thawed. that series is my baby. ALSO its rlly cute u thought id like this idea BC I DO!!! wow. U get me.

your writing is soso pretty :( ITS POETRY!!! i love it and how u captured the feel of the song (which is just pain) and the “you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit” OHHH!!! thats the shit i live for. realizing that you dont fit in w the life he lives in. Pain.

what i think is that this song fits aether the most !!! OUUUGHH you knowing that aether has to leave teyvat eventually but u cant help but long for him THATS THE GOOD SHIT “we’ll never last / why can’t i let go of this?”

“i made a promise to distance myself” BC u know that you have to stop caring so u dont get hurt when he leaves!!!!’

this song is beyond perfect tysm for sharing this w me!! Ough now i may end up writing this and blame it on you bc its so perfect 😭😭😭

[bi-bats]

i am equally bored, so here’s a couple for the ask game, do however many you like ofc!

know yourself, don’t fall into my arms, and i know my brother (feral about this one)

omg hello hello!! Thanks for the ask, hopefully this spares you a few moments of boredom 💚 Here are my favorite things about all of those bc I have no self control

Know Yourself:

probably the way that Jay forces Jason and Tim to re-examine not only each other, but themselves? Like, of course Jay was going to make Jason take a closer look at himself. Of course Jay was going to make Tim take a closer look at Jason. But I really like the way that Jason also re-evaluates his idea of Tim and Tim also takes a closer look at who he is. also, the way Jason and Tim are slowly, slowly breaking down each other's walls and getting closer, the way it's messy and not easy but they keep trying to do it anyways because they both just need each other so badly, even if they don't want to admit it yet. I love making them messy and totally unable to resist each other 💖 and making them in denial about their feelings in totally different ways is also so much fun 😂

Don't Fall Into My Arms:

look, I just love giving them a good argument born from the fear that they're going to lose each other. I love when Tim gets a chance to cry, and I love that seeing him cry totally snaps Jason out of being angry because he realizes that Tim isn't just mad, he's afraid. But my favorite thing probably has to be that Jason just sort of traps himself into admitting that he considered them to be dating, and then he doubles down on it. He's like, "You know what? Yeah. We're dating. I love you." and as much as I love when Jason runs from the things he's afraid of and refuses to talk about things, I really enjoyed that in this, the thing he was the most afraid of was losing Tim, and instead of running he let himself be vulnerable.

I Know What My Brother Is:

oh, bestie. I am ALSO feral about this one. I am currently at 34k words on it and I'm just trying to resist the urge to upload all of it because I'm doing something I've never done before, which is just let myself write without worrying too much about the exact details of the plot, so I want the padding of the extra chapters just in case I get stuck. This is a chokehold fic, like. I can't write ANYTHING else right now because every time I try to think about writing I just get stuck on this one. Okay, my favorite thing about it. I'm really, really loving writing in Damian's headspace. There's something about writing from his perspective that activates literal poetry in me, and I'm really loving it. I feel like when I write Tim, he tends to be very deadpan and guarded, and Jason is always pretty honest and casual in his own head, but Damian? Damian is so dramatic and conflicted and sad and angry. I love making his anger this calm thing that he just lives with, because he's always lived with it. He's falling apart and writing him so deeply unwell is making some of my favorite lines I've ever written fall out of me. Also, every time I think that I've made him as deeply unwell as I could possibly make him, I find a new way to make him worse 😂 Don't worry, you'll see 💖

Hope this saved you from boredom for a while!!

🌸 Send me the name of one of my fics and I’ll tell you my favorite thing about it!! 💕🌸

[awellboiledicicle]

I like the idea of Fido and Astarion being besties while Gale thinks something is going on over there entirely bc because it would only survive act 1 in that state

Largely because Fido is sitting with Astarion while he drinks from their arm like "how do you tell someone you'd fuck them if they wouldn't explode" and he just. smacks their shoulder bc he's trying to eat not laugh. Has to deal with Fido making very obvious puppy eyes at Gale whenever he cooks something and is proud of it. Has been tasked with sleight of hand obtaining herbs and spices specifically so Gale will have things to season with and be happy. Which Astarion does with little complaint because it smells better than flavorless gruel to be around.

Gale meanwhile is down bad for Fido, but is 90% sure his orb is going to kill mmm everyone so he's being reserved. It's not helped when he's teaching them things and they're telling him about Earth things. After the weave scene he's just emotionally pining because they obviously can't DO anything without risk and then they're talking to Astarion and letting him feed on them and-- its a thing.

When Elminster shows up hes thrilled because Earth Knowings and his old friend might be able to explain some things and-- oh. oh that's. that's something.

Fido absolutely is against killing yourself for forgiveness. They don't even want Elminster there for cheese time to explain earth stuff. They don't want to know anymore. He can gtfo their camp. Go, leave, scamper. Gale manages to talk them into letting him stay to speak about the portal and pact thing, while he himself goes to have a think in his tent. The convo is exceptionally chilly, but informative. Largely that they could, in theory, leave right then. Elminster goes to fucking yellowstone as a vacation on the reg, so he could totally pop them home. But, you know, tadpole. The pact is trickier, because they literally don't know the terms. If the pact and coming over were connected, then leaving could have dire consequences.

That said once Elminster is gone and they have a chance to talk, Fido is just. "No, you're not blowing yourself up. You're going to live. You're going to live so you can introduce me to your weird flying cat and show me your weird magic tower and let me read your poetry." "She's not weird." "I won't know until i meet her, will i? Now, there are many ways to destroy things aside killing yourself. We could make a bomb not made of you and go from there. Or, or, whatever we find at moonrise! Maybe if we just kill the leadership it falls apart--" "It's alright." "No, no it's not! You won't die, i won't let you. I decided." "I think i'm allowed to decide this for myself." "But you didn't! You didn't get into the heat of battle and see a tragic but necessary option to end the world devouring whateverthefuck! Your shitheel ex with a literal god complex decided to play fuckfuck with your life once again!" "Don't speak about Mys--" "I'll say whatever i damn well please about Mystra!" "She is a goddess--" "And a shit one at that! If she wanted to interfere so bad, she could give you a boon! A magic fuck'em'up staff or something! But no, her solution to the problem is 'let me blow up my mortal plaything'!" "She does not," his eyes were hard now, almost angry. "Think of me as a plaything. The gods cannot interfere directly and i've already got the orb. She gifted me control--" "She gifted you a way to kill yourself." "For the greater good." "Fuck the greater good! And don't give me that look, i can be selfish too! I don't want you to die, so you're not going to. I care too damn much about you to let you blow yourself to smitherines! We'll find another way, even if it means i have to personally fight through every mindflayer and cultist with my bare fucking hands. And you will see that you don't deserve to die, or so help me god i will tear the very heavens asunder to wring Mystra's neck myself!" "You can't say things like--" "Watch me! If they care so damn much about what's said of them, they can strike me down! But they won't because they can't interfere-- but apparently telling one of the greatest men in the world to kill himself doesn't count! Fuck that! Fuck it!" They strode forward and grabbed the front of his robe, balling it in their fists as they glared into his eyes and nearly snarled. "You can worry about Mystra, i'll worry about keeping you and everyone else alive. You will survive this, you will live, and you will thrive--whether i have to drag you kicking and screaming through to the other side. Do you understand me?" A beat of silence while they searched each others faces for something the other couldn't quite determine. Finally, Gale's posture crumpled and they let go of his robe. He rubbed at his face briskly before regarding them with a touch of bewilderment in the face of their fury. "I understand." They nodded, until he held up a finger. "But, it remains an option-- if we must take it." The whole camp could see their jaw working as they grit their teeth. "Fine, as the last nuclear option. But only then." "Only then."

[baladric]

4, 10, 14!! heehee!

ouuuu thank you!!!!

4. How many different styles/medium (e.g., digital art, traditional art, comics, sculpture, paper craft, etc.) did you try this year?

on the diversity of media front, i feel like i stagnated a little! i used to have a lot more breadth, but this year like 98% of my work was done with procreate, and the other 2% were very occasional pencil/pen doodles that i then spruced up in procreate ahaha!! but honestly i'm not too arsed about this, like the sheer volume of art i made this year is so much higher than usual, entirely bc messing around w procreate and the specific hyperfixations i've had this year really inspired me to keep throwing myself at drawings again and again until i got it right—which has translated into a lot of skill growth, which i honestly could not be happier about!!!!!

10. What inspired/motivated you this year?

content-wise, the goblin emperor was my main artistic motivator (specifically my own goddamn au s;alkdfjaow;if), but i'm also really learning how to create my own original works as expressions of various emotional experiences i'm shufflin my way through lately.

also (and i've said this already recently but it bears saying again) literally i looked at @littleowlbub 's concept art for their new comic, prism, and i fell deeply and madly in love with how they draw hands—they're like... so expressive and lovely, but what really sets them apart for me is this sense that there's joy in the simple act of drawing them. their hands are, for me, the visual equivalent of taking that first full breath of fresh air at the start of a hike in the blue ridge mountains ;lakjdfaef like, god, i look at a few of the drawings of spectrum specifically and just feel love and peace in my own existence as a tactile being, idk!!!! this is all a lot of weight to put on the way someone draws hands, but it's WHERE I'M AT and honestly it has really inspired me to find my own ways of creating that feeling with the hands i draw, and i have a long road ahead still but the results are so visible to me, and i'm so so excited about that progress!!!

14. What's one pairing/character/subject/body part/object you want to explore next year?

pairing(s): hrmm honestly i've been eyeballing my internal visualization of evemer and kadou from @ariaste 's A Taste Of Iron and Gold, like i am itchin to draw them a whole whole bunch

characters: it's become a pathological need to figure out how to simplify eddie entertainment munson's dumb face down to a few brush strokes, like i've done so much noodling to try to figure out what it is exactly that makes his face his face—is it the full lips? the angle of his eyes? the sparse eyebrows? the laugh lines? nose, the particular contours of his 3/4 profile?? who the fuck knows!!! but i will figure it out or i will die trying!!!!!!!!

subject: really digging my vent pieces so i fully intend to keep honing that style and the sort of. idk creative muscles that go into funneling big emotions into little eyestrain-y guys

body part: see my tender screeching about hands above. also really working on understanding legs. why are they like that. whose idea was that.

object: man i need to draw more objects. engineered shapes in general suck SO BAD. i wanna get better at musical instruments especially, but one of my broadest goals is to get better at dramatic lighting (light is a huge part of my creative world, which is really apparent in my writing and poetry, but much less so in my art bc i Don't Know How To Do It Yet), and i'm annoyingly aware that the best way to work at that is to, in fact, do a lot of still lives, and probably like. paint more. pls pls, 2023 me, let yourself fuck up with gouache. you love gouache. it's so good for light.

artist wrapped ask meme!

[emilem-forevermore]

soft answers ig

there are actually a lot, but "dans ma tete" by louane <33

brooklyn nine nine all the way

writing! i love both ofc but writing is a nonharmful way to get out all of my negative feelings :)

comfort, especially mixed with trust. as in. laying in someones lap and closing your eyes and just feeling safe

i like to listen to music and draw after a long day.

i don't really.. candles... but my favorite scent is the smell of all my friends' hair <3

my bestest friend. they know my real name, they know my secrets, they accept me however i am and i feel safe, and ofc the feeling is mutual

ohh um. um. squishies, especially food ones

so many!!! the first one i can think of is getting my black belt in taekwondo. i just felt so happy and proud and i remember that moment so clearly in my head of the entire room clapping and my teacher tying the belt around me.

there are a lot, i'm lucky, but yesterday during lunch my friend and i were talking about a silly memory where we laughed so hard and every time we talk about it we immediately end up in tears in the best way XD and today after school i was sitting with my friend and she kept misspeaking hilariously and we made a bunch of stupid jokes that were actually really funny and i felt really... okay :)

a couple, i'd say, but hugging my larger stuffed animals makes me feel happy. blahaj or the panther i named "harry" for when im sad

drawing trees, listening to either very aggressive or very calm songs, and writing poetry about how i feel.

shower. bc feels like rain.

eeee um homecoming is on friday and i get to work at the gsa table (genders and sexualities alliance for my school)

i eat popcorn when im sad, but probably just candy (white rabbits, hersheys, gummy worms)

i really want to do a big drawing with a lot of detail!!

in a long, solid hug where i can take a deep breath and know because i am with that person, everything will be alright

hopefully all ages. right now, i'm pretty authentically me, and i'm really lucky to feel that way

i've written a couple yeah. dont know if ive gotten one

gfskj so many. but i think my first kiss- i remember we were surrounded by our best friends watching 'the summer i turned pretty' and they were in my arms and i leaned down and kissed them and it was so gentle and sweet and genuine

hot cocoa!! always good! especially with popcorn dipped in

it's. it's called 'songs.' i'm so sorry. my favorite playlist not made by me though is called "That's My Kind Of Heaven" (it's kinda abt me i think... so...)

after a play i did yea

i have four. but the first one is a boy i've known since before birth. the second is the person who knows everything about me who i love more than anything (bestest bestie), the third is a girl i've known since kindergarten who i laughed with at lunch yesterday, and the fourth is my ex, someone i've been really open to and honestly trust more than almost anyone

i'm not sure. it'd be blueish, but a mix of a lot of colors

i'd want to live near a lake, in a smaller town with probably my bestest friend :)

i do, a little bit. for a project in science i grew some peppers and they're still alive!! love those and they were fun to grow

i'm proudest of myself, for being who i am and for keeping going even when it was really, really hard.

i get unreasonably angry sometimes but overall? yeah, i really try, at least.

my hobbies look like they're spread all over my room due to the drawings on my walls and the bookshelf organized by color. they look like my soul, with nail polish on my dresser and poems scattered around in notebooks covered with stickers. they look like me.

amazing questions btw

✨soft asks✨

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

[holdinbacksecrets]

well, things have been weird... I think depression and anxiety has been hitting me hard this past week to the point of like chest pain, i think I'm very familiar with heartache lmao. I'm a senior now, finally made it to year 6 in med school, and currently in my first rotation, i don't know how to feel about that other than fear of my own incompetence and failure to compensate for it because I'm just so exhausted..

As for writing, i haven't done any for like close to at least 1 year, nothing, even poetry has been sparse, maybe max of 3 this whole year. It's like slow torture... it's like the first death described in black swan. I've been trying to plan a novel, but all i have is Pinterest boards for characters and a main idea of a plot and it doesn't seem that this year I'll be able to give it time because it's hectic and important and i also have my damn research on thalassemia patient's quality of life and whatnot.

Loneliness is suffocating as well, I don't know what to do with it, i blame it on adulthood and maturity, hell im 23 yet i feel like i have the loneliness of a vampire watching every loved one fade. there's not much to do about it. everyone's busy and i hate human connection as much as i crave it.

I thought by now you'd have relocated btw because it's been a while that you've been talking about it, also didn't you go back for masters or is my timeline of events wrong cuz trust me I don't even remember my name these days

hi friend 🤍

i’m sorry about the anxiety and depression. i certainly understand how hard both are to deal with. anything you can do to get even a little bit of relief? is therapy an option for you?

congratulations on making it to your senior year! that’s a wonderful accomplishment! i watch a few med student youtubers, and i’m so impressed by everything that you all do. it’s a fuck ton of work. is school a major catalyst for the anxiety and depression for you or more so other things you mentioned like human connection/loneliness? everything?

even if your plans for the book aren’t as far along as you were hoping they’d be, i still think it’s really cool that there are ideas dancing around in your head. they won’t just disappear either, so you can always dive back in when it feels right and the writing is coming. you’ll have to keep me updated on this. i feel you on the writing thing. i’ve finally been able to do some writing again after months of shitty work, but the longer it’s missing, the crazier us writers feel. i hope it comes back to you sooner rather than later. a year is a long time. idk if i’d ever write without music. it’s such a huge source of inspiration for me.

oh god… the loneliness. i’m so touch starved that i don’t know what to do with myself. a huge part of me wishes i could erase my dating experience last year bc absences following what that little supernova gave me are apparent as hell. i feel like my isolation from covid never really ended, and i’m still trying to move out of it and form friendships in closer proximity. hating human connection and craving it at the same time—felt. i consistently feel like i have to be a better version of myself first, but will i ever meet a version i’m satisfied with? there are always mental hurdles to navigate. do you have any friends in your med school program?

your last paragraph pierced my heart a little bit bc i too thought i’d be in a different city by now. i lasted in my grad program for three months. it was horrible. i took a class last summer, and i knew pretty early on that it was the wrong choice, but i still started the fall semester. i wanted to give it a sincere shot and not make a rash decision (i convinced myself it was rash but it was really my gut saying important things lol). maybe in the future i’ll go back to school and do something completely different. i kind of want to get an english degree, but the idea of doing another bachelor’s feels strange. i wanted to double major originally but didn’t. for now, i’m working a remote job i hate and constantly job searching for something else. i’m passionate about community engagement work and environmental justice, hoping i’ll find something. i still want to move to chicago. i’ll be there in september, and i’m hoping my time there will solidify feelings and desires about relocating.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

HEY GONNA CRY.... OPPOSITE OF HALLELUJAH FOR NOODLE N 2D.......

very your-themes when it comes to poets naturally trying to come up w beauty and metaphor for handling their own irl feelings and situations and kind of failing horribly bc you can't rlly control the way things are when you're not creating the entire thing from scratch (hi oysters!!! the murdoc connection baby!!!!) and that phenomenon itself being held up to the light and declared poetic (by the singer in this song and also by you the fanfic author) <- sorry 4 overanalyzing I'm just going to explode if i think abt plastic beach shells again

I reread the comments i left last night and you can really see.how i was losing my mind going through your Illustrious Catalogue. Thank you for the kind answer to the feverish ramblings good GOD.

i leave you w this -> me and the bitch i pulled by being autistic (we r getting married) (unfortunately ive drawn myself w white eyes for years now so i look kinda 2d-ey) (appropriating 2d culture. i took his eyes AND his gf. lesbian rights i think)

I'm glad you know and like the song! I have a soft spot for it.

I promise you, I and any creative making their home online lives to see your analyzing and poetry and feverish ramblings and theorizing and love. Good lord, what would the point be otherwise? It's more flattering than I can say. You've made it all sound intricately thought-through and measured on my end, and have given credit I don't deserve! It just makes my heart ache, the failure to make it yours; the narratives we write for the narratives we're written into, the anchors of damage that weight down the songs and sonnets you make of them, the mundanity of the shells breaking or drifting or being lost in the tide. Sometimes I think there's nothing more poignant than the mundanity. Sometimes I think it's eye-watering.

Haha, know that I loved your messages and your comments and your PAULA! Oh, oh lesbian rights forever. Paula deserves this. I am sorry to tell you that I did get Alt Universe 2D from first sight; rather, if Stu and Murdoc combined into one powerful stud instead of the weak toxic-masculinity puppets they are. Fantastic!

[kyaruun]

Since when did the graphics suck they're literally so cute

This one is literally embedded in my mind like I ASSOCIATE this with you

It isssss literally so cute but your other graphics are also so cute wthhhhhhh

Buuut I can do some tutorials on things you wanna know that I can do? I've been wanting to make a tutorial for a while now actually

. Me too like I don't have a schedule and while I write on a "rotation", I spend so muxh time and energy on irl things that I don't get much time to write. I literally haven't gotten through my reqs from last August. Rip my 800 event from. Before then??? Cannot even keep track it's been like a year

My follow count is only that high bcs I wrote for haikyuu (in 2020 its peak) then I joined the genshin bus kinda early (?) Which is still huge and I wrote misc fics for whatever else, and it was also my edit blog??? And now I'm here shitposting so I got followers from like lots of places

The way yours is in the 700s and a loooot older than mine pls I'm also in the 700s in nazukisser.... insanity

Well personally i love your leo so I think that it should happen because you deserve it. And writing a series.... yes.... smaus are so fun I have domicile on nazukisser for reference if you want it and my fav smau ever is club stupid by tumblr user kodzuvii highly recommend I just become a redhead kita's cousin and tendou's best friend number 1 miracle girl and down bad for suna rintarou whenever I read it.

WAAAA I can't wait to see your revamp !!! Thank you.. I always try to have some sort of match (character/color/style) all throughout!! If you need help/opinions/etc lmk!!!

Right like what happened . We were thriving. Then we boomed for a second and died. Like I see the nazuna x reader tag and ME AND KAZE ARE THE ONLY ONES like bruh? And my fics have been flopping tho it seems everyone's have been flopping too

Yeah the only thing keeping me tied down here is the server..... it's like my lifetime... come back we miss you

I MISS NURI TOO... bee has arknights now....I miss.... and runanananna....... ate swanee's writing.... SHE DOES THAT TO US TOO not that I hate it but she drops like a couple of lines in snippets and dips and I'm like *SCREEEECHES*

If you come back to my server we welcome you back we miss you :(((

I can only be grateful that some of us are left tho.... i7 is so dead and e7 LMFAO??? I was legit the only one it was so darned sad

THAT'S THE ONLY ONE I LIKE!! i love watching vids about journaling and that kind of thing and they make the cutest decorated polaroids so i wanted to do something like that but very cutesy themed,, spring made me think of picnics so gingham <3 i actually played around with a few similar concepts like polaroid + random stickers and i planned to make banners with that but uuuu there are so many characters,, can't keep my focus for too long. i think they came out cute but it's probably too late to use them </3

i always wonder about what do people use to edit their pics because i was born a ps girlie and i still don't know how to use ps properly oops making your themes look nice and cohesive,, those cute pinned etc etc people who edit icons and make them look super aesthetic

i think i never tried to promote my blog because followers don't feel like an integral part of the process for me. i just write what comes to mind and share it with the world: if people like it i'm absolutely delighted and if they don't well,, at the end of the day most of my writing has been fun for me ^^ like come on i've written things that are silly and self indulgent and they worked fine and i'm here like. wow

i have considered writing for more series but the thing is the media i like has a fandom of like. 2.5 people on the good days. so it really doesn't make too much sense to even try that <.< genshin fandom scares tf out of me so i'll keep my extra fluffy albedo thoughts to myself. the bazillion "childe being a dumbass in love" posts. kazuha writing poetry. oops. getting flashbacks to the time i almost made a hypmic blog but i stopped myself at the last second out of embarrassment

i'm torn on whether a) people just aren't interested in that kind of content anymore (no way) or b) people DO read our stuff, they simply don't interact. not even a like. the migration of people from other social media into tumblr,, like sorry but i've been here since 2016? and it gets worst for writers every day </3

i have an immense amount of cute enstars thoughts a day and i feel like if i can't share them i will combust (my best friend has to deal with me every day),, it's mostly cute romantic stuff with my favs and my ocs, for obv reasons so i'm like uuuu should i even tell this to someone it's just embarrassing. like only other enstarries could understand why i keep rotating this bunch of dorks around my brain and getting the biggest serotonin boost out of it ueeee

i kind of miss being in a server with other people. i've been feeling very lonely lately due to uni so i think that'd be good for my mental health but at the same time,, i don't want to go back to talking once in a blue moon you know? ooo to be an anxious mess every day of your life.... like i get nervous so easily and i know i'll make someone uncomfortable so i simply keep quiet or i don't know how to join conversations because my social skills are -1. i'm a bit of a mess TT

as a bonus for reading all of this, wips of some of the banners/wallpapers? i was working on the last time. rei was meant to be a light pink/purple ish kind of shade but i don't mind how these came out either ^^ i need to print the cgs as polaroids again

[strawberrystarcake]

🔁 A fic you’ve re-read several times 😊 A fic that made you smile on a bad day 👌🏼 A fic someone else recommended to you 💘 A fic you couldn't stop reading once you started 💌 A fic that inspired you to create something for it 💞 A fic that led to you making friends with the author ✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time

— (i found out that) everybody talks by @guilty-lights

[🔁, haikyuu!!] ; this is probably one of my favourite fics. of all time. this is a very rare ship (😭) and we're lucky to get any content at all, much less content of this quality, so you'd imagine how delighted i was when i stumbled across this gem while scrolling through the karasuno first years ot5 tag one midnight. i love the outsider pov & non-linear storytelling. the writing style is so sweet and it gives the fic this summery, nostalgic vibe (kinda like the anime itself actually!)

— moonlight densetsu by @raceyatothemoon

[😊, haikyuu!!] ; okay so get this. it's a sailor moon au. idk if you can be sad while reading a sailor moon au in general but this one is especially well-written. the roles are perfect, there's just the right amount of comedy and angst and it's so entertaining!!

— as you wish by @demigodbeautiies

[👌🏼, six of crows] ; technically this was sent in the discord chat, so it wasn't recommended to me specifically. that's irrelevant. anyway, this fic is amazing. i read it before i read soc, actually, and i was invested even then. it's got gorgeous emotional depth and the writing style's so lovely.

— do not go gentle into that senior year (just rage) by @hptriviachamp

[💘, bridgerton] ; so yknow. when you find a well-written private school academic rivals to lovers fanfiction for a piece of media you didn't actually realize had a fandom, you're going to eat that stuff up. that's all there is to say about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— third planet by ninthline on ao3

[💌, haikyuu!!] ; i haven't actually published this fic yet, but this is what made me think of hinata natsu as a high-schooler. i do have one published work from the series (yes, series) i wrote inspired by this fic (that would be this bc ayy shameless self-advertisement). now onto the fic itself: i just love the concept of apathetic teenager!natsu just trying to survive. you'd think it would be a little mundane, but no- it's written super well (this fic, coincidentially, also made me love 2nd person) and it's got very contemporary vibes.

— cigarette daydreams (you were only seventeen) by @miirorange

[💞, dream smp] ; yeah no i'm going through loopholes with this one. i couldn't think of anything, but i did remember the fic saline showed me in the earlier stages of our mutual-ship. it counts because i say so. anyways!! this fic is a character study of wilbur soot and a very good one if i do say so myself (i do). it's just so poetically tragic,, go check it out /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

— halo by authoress on ao3

[✨, haikyuu!!] ; no words can encapsulate the things i felt reading this for the first time. pretty sure i went through the entire human range of emotions by the halfway mark and it's not even that long.

if it wasn't clear by now: this fic destroyed me and i enjoyed it so much. i keep going back to read it and it's still pure poetry and it still hurts my heart and i still love it so much, yes, but it's not exactly the same. i would love to go back and read this one for the first time if i could.

<3

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

[cream-and-tea]

Why hello there

Well, well, well. If it isn't my oldest enemy, introducing myself to anyone in any capacity. Ok so after lurking around this community since I made my blog and keeping track of (ie: lowkey highkey stalking) a bunch of amazing people with amazing work I've decided to face the Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known (ie: my anxiety) and make an actual post introducing myself. If for no other reason then to let people know what the hell is up with the idiot behind this screen.

So, what the hell is up with

the idiot behind this screen?

⎯hi yes that's me.

⎯you can call me Créme! Because I didn't pick a proper pen name before and now I'm attached to this one

⎯I've basically always thought about stories and writing for my whole life. But I only really got into it when I was around ten years old and had just started writing poetry. That was basically my gateway drug into all of creative writing lmao

⎯speaking of poetry. I do quite a lot of it and hope to create an anthology of my work someday (^^;;

⎯I like tea (obviously,) mostly herbal kinds that I will put milk in purely out of spite (and because it tastes good)

⎯I also like classic literature and history but probably for all the wrong reasons (hmu if you've got any Good Facts) and abusing my right to use brackets

⎯as for what I write currently it's just a lot of girls losing their morals and then kissing because I'm classy like that

⎯in all (a bit more) seriousness my w.i.ps tend to explore complicated character dynamics (just in general but mostly between friends/lovers or any combination of those two,) society being kind of horrible, and characters who at least try to do good in spite of that (or not.)

⎯speaking of my w.i.ps.......

Oops all gays

(aka the w.i.p pile)

⎯⎯ ALL FALL DOWN

⎯ aka "the superhero one"

⎯ stupidly self indulgent enemies-to-begrudging-allies-to-lovers wlw romance

⎯ seriously the p i n i n g in this book Jesus Christ

⎯ it causes me physical pain and I'm the one writing it

⎯ one mind controlling villain with no idea what the fuck he's doing, six disaster gays with something to prove, superpowers and an apparent death wish, two rival teams working together plus a huge delicious heaping of trauma

⎯ what could possibly go wrong? (Spoilers: literally everything)

⎯ themes include: coping with trauma| redemption| what makes someone a hero| what makes someone a villain| the dangers of obsessive hate and revenge| My Body Is Not My Own It Belongs To The Cause| found family| no one is really the "good guy" but they're trying anyways| the idea of "saving people" and fixing everything and how messed up that can get| and Loving Despite It All(tm)

—this one is basically my child to be honest and I can't wait to share more of it!

⎯⎯SWEET DREAMS

⎯ aka "the wtf even is this one"

⎯ a short story told from the pov of a dead girl as she recounts her own murder

⎯ we got an unhinged wlw couple in this one and oooh boy it ain't healthy

⎯ increasingly messy narration as she relives her trauma

⎯ lots of flower/dirt imagery

⎯ themes include: purity and filth| grief and death| coming to terms with a toxic relationship| realizing it was Not Your Fault| some weird religious subtext??? Kinda?? not even I rlly don't know what's going on there

⎯⎯ HUNGRY DOGS

⎯ aka "the! space!! Heist!!!"

⎯ basically three dumbasses get fucked over so they decide to fuck over the government as well (and also kind of sort of save humanity as they know it.)

—creepy!! Mind control! Plants!!

⎯ a little lite dystopia (tm)

⎯ space! Pirates!!

⎯ seriously how much plant based body horror can I shove into this sci-fi set entirely in space (the answer is: as much as possible)

⎯ themes include: collective responsibility| the body as a tool/weapon| autonomy in general| Humanity Is Dying (tm)| but that doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for| also redemption bc I'm trash

⎯ it's actually a lot more underdeveloped than the others but I wanted to let you know it exists

Sooo, yeah....

[sodacanwritings]

HOW ARE U TODAYYYYYYYYYY HOW ARE YOU FEELING HOW WAS YOUR 1/1/22 WHAT MADE IT SPECIAL IS THERE SOMEONE I NEED TO KILL FOR ANNOYING YOU DO YOU WANT TO VENT (I'd be delighted to listen) WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS AAAAAAAAA

Have I gone finally crazy? Perhaps.

It's 4am and I can't close my eyes 💃💃 so I decided to check on this wonderful person called @sodacanwritings you might know them🤔 psst, they're very talented

If I die, know that I'm not dead, sleep only FINALLY took over me. Goodnight/day/morning/afternoon/everysinglemomentyouwillbeexperiencing 😴♡♡

-Jas

HELLOOO

answering 'kinda' late, though right now I'm good. my 1/1/2022 was a bit on the lesser good side, was just my mood and how i was feeling. it also doesn't feel like we're in a new year now, so weird.

my new years eve was pretty nice though, i visited my friends for the first time in a long while and so we had our 3 nights sleepover, binged some korean crime series and then went out to see a bit of the fireworks and stuff, walked around like dangerous people a bit and after returned to finish the series. I'd say the people I was, more or less with, made it special.

for the first time in a while I also had a feeling that things were kinda alright and I was able to, just enjoy a bit. non-alcoholic champagne was also amazing. drank almost the whole bottle bc no one else liked it that much. no people you need to worry about.

just got a bit of love issues going on at the time, if you wanna call it that, but don't worry about it, I'm, 'good' with it.

they'll also see this probably so, wassup.

new years resolutions..huh. I didn't really prepare myself for new years, I knew it was gonna be too fast for me anyway, just as with the holidays or eventually my birthday, so I just kinda went in there and knew I didn't really have anything. I wanna go vegan again, though not right off the bat, I'll kinda get into it again. health stuff yes, something I wanna focus on and I hope that works. I'm kinda trying to find new things, spending more quality time with myself by focusing on those things, so you could say I'm trying to, get closer to me.

in general I don't wanna put too much pressure on it though, this year is just something I'm trying to get through- at that hand the upcoming exams in spring and graduation.

as for plans I have for the year though, there's people I really wanna meet, and I'll try to pick up a few new hobbies as well as further engaging in my poetry.

how about you tho?? how was your new years? do you have any plans/hopes/resolutions for the apparently new year?

nice seeing you again.

[witchymaddie]

I'm sorry for your broken heart, I'm in the same boat. I left my bf almost two weeks ago bc he was abusive and my heart has been aching since. Surround yourself with friends, take care of your body, listen to your favorite music, do a face mask. Look at videos of your favorite animal and try not to think about the wound in your chest. It gets easier if you write about it (poetry, art journals, etc.) and maybe do some happiness spells? If you need any more help, let me know, ok?

i thought everything was okay between us, but apparently he felt like our relationship was becoming unhealthy for both of us, because i was giving too much love and he couldn’t give back what i was giving. it makes me feel so bad because i didn’t see anything, i was numbed by my love for him and i gave him so so much of myself..

it must have been so hard for you to detach yourself from your boyfriend... i’m sending you a big amount of hugs right now. i hope you’re doing ok. i can’t do anything because i feel like he’s everywhere.. for example going on youtube makes me sad because most of the recommended videos are videos we watched together, most of the movies i watched, it was with him, most of the tv shows, it was with him too. even music, when i liked a song, i made him listen to it so we could share the pleasure.. when he was at my place, he wore my clothes, so most of my clothes make me thing of him. when i look at it from my current point of view i feel kind of stupid because it feels like i wasn’t keeping anything for myself and now i don’t have anything, i feel empty. i’m hugging my cat as much as i can, and i try to keep myself busy with other things, but it’s just.. very difficult, as you know. i’ll try to write about it, i didn’t have this idea and it’s a very good one. thank you SO much for sharing this with me, i’d love to talk more if you want to of course. sending you a lot of hugs x