#bc if i was reading it AT THE TIME??? nah lol i wouldn’t stand for it

[goatsghost]

nightwing (2016) #50

dick spent the whole series up to this point trying to figure out who “dick grayson” was, and the only answer he could come up with was “nightwing.” this actually could be a nice break for him, finding himself in “ric grayson,” even if it means pushing his friends away for a minute

[meltwonu]

64. “You’re not taking me to bed. ever.”

          “Who said it had to be on the bed?”

79. “Fuck you.”

            “I’m up for it if you are.”

notes; racer/street-racing!au, dom!mingyu, enemiestolovers!au, loads of banter fhhdsk, dirty talk, degradation, name-calling, ass slapping, restraints! WOOOO BABY combine these fics with the attacca teasers djfhskdh the brain goes BRRRRR very much and does not stop 🤤 and vocal team’s mermaid/merman-esque photos right before monster mash s2? Suspicious, pledis, very suspicious… 😒 I feel like they’ve h@cked my laptop and are just straight up reading my notes AND FOR FREE 😩😩KJHESKJFDH LMAO BC LIKE? HELLO, VERY RUDE 😭 LOL ANYWAY, as always, thank you soooo so much for requesting! Enjoy!💕

*queued post.

Mingyu smiles - canines on full display as you grit your teeth and reluctantly hand over the thick wad of cash.

“We can settle this a different way, sweetheart. You know I like to give you options when you lose a race against me.”

“Fuck you.” You grit out - hands balled up into fists as your side.

After all, it was only by a hair that Mingyu managed to beat you in the last race and now you were out 800 dollars and your pride was shot.

“I’m up for it if you are. Like I said, options are open, sweetheart~”

“Shut up and get ready for another race. I’m gonna beat you and get my fuckin’ money back, loser. Hope you don’t cry when you’re handing me my $1600.”

Mingyu feigns hurt; hand clutching his chest over his heart as he pockets the cash with his free hand and starts walking towards his own car.

“And if I win again? What then, hmm? How about I keep the $800 and you just blow me at the finish line. Not gonna lie, you’re so fuckin’ hot when you’re all riled up.”

You plop down into the driver’s seat of your car - clicking the seatbelt into place before revving the engine as Mingyu watches you with amused eyes.

“Nah, ‘cause I’m gonna win and you’re going to give me $1600 and grovel at my fuckin’ feet at the finish line.”

Mingyu scoffs, eyes rolling as he gets into his car and slams the door shut.

“We’ll see about that, sweetheart. Hope your knees aren’t sensitive~”

And Mingyu loses.

By a wide gap.

“God-fucking-damn it…” He mutters; hand fishing for your money and his as he grumbles. “You fuckin’ cheated.”

“How the fuck would I do that? It’s only you and me out here, genius. You think I have people in the trees helping me? Grow up.” You swipe at the cash in his hand - tucking it into the pocket of your shorts as you smile smugly at the irritated male standing in front of you.

But you feel a shiver run down your spine at the way Mingyu stares at you - eyes full of carnal desire as he looks you up and down.

“How about one more race, hmm, sweetheart? Winner gets to fuck the other one however they want.” He shoots you a sleazy grin as you roll your eyes in return.

“So you admit you only asked me out here to race so you could fuck me at the end? I knew you were desperate for a fuck but c’mon, Mingyu~ This is so pathetic~ You could’ve just told me you missed my pussy getting your cock wet. I wouldn’t have judged you~” You giggle lightly; your own eyes filled with lust when Mingyu growls.

“I was gonna be nice, y’know? I was gonna suggest taking you home and fucking you nice and hard there and not out here… Maybe even eat out that cute ‘lil cunt of yours before I ruined you and fucked you so good you only knew my name. But look at that attitude of yours, sweetheart~ You don’t even deserve it~”

“First of all, you’re not taking me to bed. Ever. I let you fuck me out here a few times ‘cause I needed a quick lay, just like yourself. Don’t think I’d jump in your bed just like that ‘cause you have a big dick.”

Mingyu guffaws, head thrown back as he laughs loudly into the night.

“First of all, who said it had to be on the bed? Maybe I’d take you home and fuck you right at the door with your panties just shoved to the side, or on the sofa with your legs in the air, spread nice and wide for me while I pound that pussy… Hell, I’d fuck you right in front of the windows so everyone can see what a cockslut you are for me. Or maybe in front of the mirror? So you can see how slutty that face of yours gets when my cock slams right into that spot that makes your toes curl~”

You clench your jaw as a rush of wetness pools into your panties - curses under your breath as you contemplate your options.

“Get ready for another race, Mingyu. We’ll see who really comes out on top.”

“I won!”

“No, I fuckin’ did!”

“Of course you’d fuckin’ say that, you just lost $1600! You’re such a poor sport!”

The two of you butt heads - pupils blown wide as Mingyu smirks. “It’s okay to say you lost, sweetheart, I’m still gonna fuck you regardless. Isn’t that what you want? You wouldn’t have told me to get ready for another race if you didn’t want me to fuck you. Just admit you lost.”

Scoffing, you prop your hands on your hips as you tap your foot into the dirt.

“Yeah, well, my idea was actually more-so just you just making me cum and me leaving and you figuring it out for yourself after I left sooooo…”

He rolls his eyes at this - impatience written all over his face as he saunters up to you.

“Or we can just fuck right now since my cock is hard and your dumb ‘lil cunt is probably soaking those panties. Stop being such a brat already. It’s getting late and don’t you have somewhere to be later today? Why’re you dragging this out so much? Do you wanna be around me that bad, hmm?”

You narrow your eyes at him, arms crossed against your chest.

“Why do you know my business? How do you know I have plans later today?”

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, grinning as he presses his chest against yours.

“‘Cause I like you, brat, and I pay attention when you open that mouth of yours. Now, drop the shorts and I wanna see those hands on the car while I fuck you.”

You momentarily lose your cool - sultry moans on your lips thinking about Mingyu’s ‘confession’ of sorts while he rocks his hips into your ass.

“Fuck, you’re soaking my cock, sweetheart. Like your pussy was fuckin’ made to take my cock~ Such a good fuckin’ cockslut taking all of me like this...” He raises a hand and brings it down onto the skin of your ass; your walls clenching around his cock with each slap.

“Fuh--fuck you, Mingyu… You’re just, mmnh, t-trying to butter me up so--so I let my guard d-down…” You mutter.

He chuckles from behind you as his hand comes down onto your skin five more times in succession - your pussy only soaking his cock even more with each harsh impact of his hand on your stinging skin.

“Aww, can’t it be a little bit of both? I do like you, sweetheart. You’re such a cute ‘lil spitfire. It makes fucking you that much more fun when I get you all riled up first~”

Your arms feel like jello as you try to hold your upper half up on the hood of his car but you eventually mutter a small ‘fuck it’ before you lower your torso onto the cold metal of Mingyu’s car.

“Fuuuuuck, that feels s-so good...”

“Oh? Tired already?” He responds teasingly; simultaneously angling his thrusts so that the head of his cock slams into your g-spot with each hard thrust of his hips. “Let me take the lead then~”

You feel his movements pause as you whine, but the next thing you feel is him tugging both your arms behind your back as you let out a shuddering breath.

“Since you’re already tired of using your arms, let me use them~” He sing-songs right as he uses his belt to keep your arms bound behind your back.

“Ready to cum, sweetheart? ‘Cause it’s about to be mandatory.”

You’re about to respond when the breath is knocked out of you by his hard thrusts; his hand wrapped around your bound ones as he uses it as leverage. 

“Gonna cum inside this pretty ‘lil cunt of yours~ I wanna see it dripping out of you when I’m done~” 

Mingyu doubles his pace as your body jerks atop his car - whines of his name on your lips at the way he fills you up to the brim and makes your entire body feel fuzzy.

“Fuck, y-yes, hurry and, ngh, gi--give me all your c-cum... Fill me u-up ‘til it’s spilling out of m-me and, mmnh, fuck it d-deeper into my pussy...”

Your walls clamp down onto his cock in a vice grip as his thrusts start to lose their rhythm - a tell-tale sign that Mingyu was close to his own orgasm much like yourself.

“Such a fuckin’ cumslut for me, huh? You know, we can make it official and I’ll let you have me whenever you want, sweetheart~” 

“S-shut up and m-make me, a-ah, cum...”

Mingyu grins at your backside - hand tightening it’s grip around your bound ones as you feel his cock throbbing inside your pussy. 

“We’ll talk about it later, I see? For now, cum for me, sweetheart~”

It takes a few more skillfully angled thrusts of his hips before the two of you are cumming together - muffled cries coming from you as you bite down onto your bottom lip to prevent yourself from saying anything incriminating in the midst of your pleasure.

“Ngh, fuck, sweetheart, your pussy is getting so fuckin’ tight... Feels so good inside of you...” Mingyu mutters - eyes rolling to the back of his head as he continues to fuck you through his and your orgasm.

The sound of his and your soft breaths mix in with the subtle sound of skin slapping; your inner thighs coated with your wetness and Mingyu’s cum as he starts to slow down his movements after a few tense minutes.

“Well?”

“Well, what, Mingyu?” You mutter tiredly - arms sore now that he’d been holding them up behind your back.

And Mingyu grins as he teasingly grips your bound wrists tighter again.

It’s quiet for a beat - neither of you knowing where to take the conversation next knowing that you each had a multitude of questions to ask the other now that Mingyu’s feelings were on the table.

Just as you open your mouth, Mingyu speaks first - chuckling as he leans his body over yours until his warm chest is pressed against your arms and back.

“Well now that we’ve both cum, how about you tell me how you really feel, huh, sweetheart? Then maybe we can go for a different kinda ride~”

[letterstotheflre]

I love how you wrote we can imagine them as how we want

Bcs I honestly can’t stand mean doms, like you’re mad and for what- (nah, my head is just fucked up and thinks that Sirius wouldn’t do aftercare and didn’t truly mean nice things he would say)

But tell us, pretty please, about hard dom Remus ☹️🤲

Gonna give you my money: 💳

okay same!! i don’t like reading fics where one of the boys is super degrading and angry. even if i picture sirius as a mean!dom, the way i write him is still pretty… soft, i guess? basically, i could make him meaner, it’s just that i’m sensitive and wouldn’t be able to take it lol. i think that’s why i mostly stray away from remus, because in most fics he’s very strict and yk... hard!dom-y, and i know i wouldn't enjoy it. i just like being spoiled and getting my way, so jamie is the one for me <33

anyway... hard!dom!remus is very stern. he has rules he expects you to follow, and if you break any of them he punishes you accordingly, without any remorse. he doesn't feel bad when he hears your cries or sees your tears, he even enjoys them a little. i headcanon sirius as the one with dacryphilia, so for remus it's not exactly that he gets off from seeing you cry, but i think it amuses him how pitiful you look.

i think he might be a bit of a brat tamer? i think he might get bored of always having his bunny being good, so every once in a while he enjoys having to reinforce his rules. i don't think he likes doing it all the time though, so it's probably something he already planned. like, purposely make you break a rule so he can spank you again (maybe hiding all your clothes so you're only left with those extremely short skirts that he doesn't let you wear out)

he's also very sweet with aftercare. still stern, but sweet: he gives you that look when you refuse to drink water; he massages your thighs and cleans you up gently, tutting when you whine and try to get away from his hand; he indulges you and lets you curl up on his chest, kissing your forehead and batting away your hand when you try to get him to go another round </3

[aerltarg]

2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 26, 27 from ask game

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

oh, it's actually hard to answer bc pretty often my otps can work as brotps for me as well. it also means that when i can't ship some characters they don't work for me as friends either. not to mention that in asoiaf i'm open to many ships, and if i'm not very passionate about some it's not a sign i can't see them in romantic light.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

may i say any sansa ship? 😭 as well as sansa herself lmao. idk generally i can't ship characters i don't like because i'm just not interested. and it's not to say i don't like book!sansa (show!sansa is another case 💀), i just don't find her arc as intriguing and epic as arcs of some other characters. however, it's absolutely her obnoxious fandom's fault that i don't want to touch anything about her now, pairings including. sansaery? pass. sansan? i used to have a soft spot for them in my heart but now? nah. sansa x anyone? pls have mercy, she's already a fandom bicycle.

and jonsa ofc. i would never mind some crack ship as i do this one if not for their obnoxious stans that did way too much to list there right now. but this burning desire to persuade every rock on the street that your crack ship is canon will never stop being ridiculous lmao

also braime. tbh i used to low-key like them but some of their stans weirded my away lol. i get that not all of them are like that but still. it's generally my great pain when i see braime/brienne/jaime stans who are also dany/targ antis. every time i see them i cackle and run away as fast as i can crying from disappointment lmao. it's really a pity because i'm either very neutral or like in my own way all three of them.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

jonrya it is! i never hated them, you know, but they never were more than siblings and brotp to me. however, later i encountered the deluded crack ship fandom that shall not be named and understood that if there is any possible romance for jon with any of his sisters-cousins we all know which one it will be lmao. also their stans are very sweet and i really like many of their takes on arya and jon! i generally love relationships of jon and arya very much so it wasn't that difficult in practice to see them in a quite different light.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

meta culture lmao. reading different analysis and interpretations of the text used to be very interesting to me (and still is tbh but in other fandoms) though asoiaf is a different case. imo many people aren't honest in their so called theories and analyses. i get that all of us are biased but some "meta writers'" denial of their own biases influence fandom in a bad way. it looks like too many people run to them to get answers to their questions about any minor detail as if they were grrm himself. yk instead of using their own reading comprehension lmao. you see how this meta culture ruined fandom just looking at the most delusional stans and shippers who spread their agenda by writing endless text posts full of nonsense and bullshit but styled as oh so intellectual and thoughtful analysis. it's insane how many people actually buy it and don't check canon accuracy of such claims themselves. it got to the ridiculous point when random people try to argue with you with some far-fetched embarrassing "theories" as if they were canon facts or quotes straight up from a fanfic because they read somewhere some other confused soul's post and got from a context that this quote is canon (despite the fact that it wasn't written in grrm's style at all but some people can't use their brains even if their lives depended on it it seems).

anyway it's become too long and rambly already so tldr. because of such "neutral unbiased" analyses i got the habit of fact checking almost everything i see in such posts. there's only a small amount of meta writers from targ/dany/jon/arya stans that i trust because i know by practice and following them for some time that they don't pull anything out of nowhere, back up everything they say with canon quotes, don't decontextualize anything and (that is the most important thing to me) are reasonable and open to discussion unlike so many bnfs nowadays.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

ah, not in this fandom yet, god bless! i think i'm not loud enough for the needed amount of time to deserve it lol. but since i'm not going anywhere soon maybe one day i will 😂

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

robert baratheon and tywin lannister, obviously. tbh it's pretty hard for me to hate any characters because you know. they're fictional lmao. just lines on paper, they can't hurt you. and even such dudes as tywin or robert don't get real distaste from me if they're written well enough. my problem with them lies not only in their canon crimes and shitty consequences of those but in fandom's (or at least some parts of it) unwillingness to acknowledge that they're canonically written as shitty, not as stan/pity/worship material. tywin isn't as clever as some think and robert is a coward outside of battlefield, not to mention some absolutely disgusting denial of his nature from targ antis only because the man happened to be the most vocal targ hater in-universe so these folks feel like he is their main book representative and whitewash him completely lmao

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

uugh idk even. i'm either low-key interested (or used to be at least so i can stay pretty neutral for the sake of nostalgia lol) or too indifferent to really care.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

all my faves have their own crowd of haters i'm afraid 😭 but let me say rhaegar. even among some dany/targ stans my man is so misunderstood lmao. it's not even his fault i dare say it's fanon about his half-imagined crimes that somehow got widespread to the unbelievable degree. and when i say they're half-imagined i'm being very generous actually. ofc he isn't perfect, no one in asoiaf is. and yes, he's a pre-series dead minor character but almost all little information about him is actually positive, not to mention the narrative itself that doesn't paint him as a villain or just a shitty dude. on the contrary, he's an idealized to some degree dead prince who could've been a good king (like some other historical targaryens, jacaerys, baelor breakspear, aemon son of jaehaerys, etc.), a mysterious yet tragic figure. i have much to say about why it's so popular to shit on him in fandom but yeah. his haters should send their complaints to grrm instead, no one forced the man to write him like that lol. and i mean that no one has to like him ofc. but it's misinterpretation of the text to claim he was intentionally written as a villain or smth by grrm.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

i don't know if it counts as unpopular but i would say tyrion's arc as a whole because i enjoy his character and like in my own way. i can get why some people don't like him but this man will always have his own place in my heart i must admit.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

is this unpopular tho?.. ok but renly wouldn't make a terrible king. i dare say he would be better than both robert and stannis. yes, he wasn't shown as perfect and i don't claim this. he wouldn't be the best or the most brilliant or the most just or noble. yet still better than his brothers. his flaws weren't anything other high lords didn't have, his mistakes weren't anything other lords and kings didn't do. in many ways he would make a better job than robert or stannis, too bad he died so early, even though i get why it was important for the narrative.

26. Most shippable character?

well generally for me it's the ones i love the most lol. jonerys/snowstorm is my never dying otp but i admit my sins, sometimes i just see dany with other characters (often from other fandoms pls don't @ me). however, since dany is THE fave of mine it means i would rather twist the other guy or girl to fit into the good match for her than twist her for another character in my new born crack ship lol. and i never stay for too long with the ships with which i feel they don't really fit and don't do justice for each other lol. maybe that's the reason i'm not much of a rare shipper / crack shipper afshdjdb

27. Least shippable character?

everyone i don't like? 😭 as i've said sansa for the reasons above lol. you can insert many others in her place lmao

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[ktheist]

from this post.

The meaning behind my url: the ‘kth’ in ktheist stands for kim taehyung and ‘theist’ means someone who believes in god which just means kim taehyung is my lorde and savior amen.

A picture of me: i don’t feel like sharing pics at the moment. might change my mind in the future who knows i did it before (;

How many tattoos i have and what they are: none!

Last time i cried and why: i can’t remember but i usually cry when i found out i offended a close friend because i hate to be that offensive/hurtful person and end up keeping a distance from them so i won’t hurt them anymore 

Piercings i have: none!

Favorite band: bts and blackpink

Biggest turn offs: when someone pushes/asks me to do something even though i said no the first time / i’ll do it later

Top 5 (insert subject): uh, like classes? ig English… and that’s it

Tattoos i want: none! i don’t like being in paineee

Biggest turn ons: when someone doesn’t rush me ehehe

Age: legal

Ideas of a perfect date: i can’t think of any at the moment, but in a way, i’m always on a date with myself and my perfect self date would be reading manhwa’s all day hehe

Life goal: to do no harm but take not shit

Piercings i want: none, i can’t stand paiNE

Relationship status: in love <3 with myself <3

Favorite movie: pride and prejudice 2005!

A fact about my life: i live in a rural area and got into a uni in one of the big cities. oh the irony.

Phobia: cars! driving! idk about you but driving is really taxing for me ):

Middle name: i’m good lol

Height: shorte

Are you a virgin? nah

What’s your shoe size? usually, i pick 37, i don’t know how long that’s supposed to be.

What’s your sexual orientation? confused but leaning towards diggity dong dong

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? i don’t but only because they’re expensive lol 

Someone you miss: min yoongi

What’s one thing you regret? my wasted potentials

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: min yoongi <3

Favorite ice cream? mint and ain’t nobody can change my mind

One insecurity: accidentally saying something hurtful to a loved one. 

What my last text message says: "nah i’m going in blind” to my friend when she asked if i’m preparing for tomorrow’s tutorial

Have you ever taken a picture naked? who has never?

Have you ever painted your room? yes!

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? not yet 

Have you ever slept naked? more like i can’t sleep with clothes on lol

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? who has never?

Have you ever had a crush? yes, none of them work out and i end up with people whom i don’t really like at first but settled w bc ig i should grace them with my presence since they like me

Have you ever been dumped? yeah, i was lowkey glad it was over

Have you ever stole money from a friend? i mean i keep reminding my friends of the money they “owe” me ehehhehe

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? guilty oof

Have you ever been in a fist fight? yes, shout out to my bro i might need some practice tho bc i’m a little rusty

Have you ever snuck out of your house? no, i used to storm out once lol bc i got so stressed out lol

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? um, twice in my lifetime, i was so blinded by A’s face but a few months after i stopped talking to them, i realized my back hurt from carrying the conversation and B was cute but he was lowkey mean ): 

Have you ever been arrested? nope!

Have you ever made out with a stranger? yes lol 

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yeah, the movies

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? yes but i should’ve told them where i was going - i was that kid with poor communication skills

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? uh, ig? not really? idk.

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? YES like hangout with friends

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? if it’s just your normal kind of sleeping then yes, not a fan of sharing beds tho lol

Have you ever seen someone die? no

Have you ever been on a plane? yess

Have you ever kissed a picture? i’m pretty sure i have

Have you ever slept in until 3? LOL AM OR PM

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now? i have loved someone (maybe? idk i liked them bc they like me lol) and i don’t miss anyone rn

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YES

Have you ever made a snow angel? no it doesn’t snow here ):

Have you ever played dress up? yes!!

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? ehehe who’s never?

Have you ever been lonely? a lot

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? yes lol

Have you ever been to a club? no but i wanna try going but w the pandemic going on ig i’m probably never gonna lol

Have you ever felt an earthquake? no

Have you ever touched a snake? no

Have you ever ran a red light? guilty 

Have you ever been suspended from school? no hehe

Have you ever had detention? we didn’t have the detention system where i lived so no!

Have you ever been in a car accident? yes ):

Have you ever hated the way you look? yes ):

Have you ever witnessed a crime? yessss the crime of… being so gosh darn cuTE 

Have you ever pole danced? no

Have you ever been lost? ngl lie i’ve been clueless about where i’m heading since day one

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? i was about to say yes but then i don’t even know what state is the opposite side of the country so

Have you ever felt like dying? yes

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? yes

Have you ever sang karaoke? no

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes this bitch a hypocrite 

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? just ONCE

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? no but be fun if that happened (older i mean)

Have you ever kissed in the rain? no

Have you ever sang in the shower? yesss

Have you ever made out in a park? uh yes it was like past 11pm and nobody was around

Have you ever dream that you married someone? yea the dude was cute but i remember feeling like i wanna escape the whole “married for life” situation lol

Have you ever glued your hand to something? no

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? also no

Have you ever gone to school partially naked? sis i wear a hijab

Have you ever been a cheerleader? sis i wear a hijab 2.0

Have you ever sat on a roof top? yes!

Have you ever brushed your teeth? omg how did you know?

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes i can never finish a scary movie on my own ):

Have you ever played chicken? no

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no but i’ve jumped into a pull with my clothes on

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? yea it was nice at that time but now, i’m like what makes a stranger think i’m interested in what they think about me lol

Have you ever broken a bone? no

Have you ever been easily amused? yes lol

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yess aaaaa the good old days

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? isn’t that sexual harassment?

Have you ever cheated on a test? LOL what’s the point of not cheating if you have every means to cheat?

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? all the time honestly my brain is a shite dump of all the useless infos but never the important ones like names or if i already talked about something with a certain person and then i’ll end up asking them again about that topic (excitedly at that) 

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? i haven’t met min yoongi but yeah, there are some pretty and elegant girlies that make me go :o

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. is it supposed to be deep because ig no one knows but i’m currently hungry

[edengarden]

Hello Lovely! Have come to request a BNHA matchup this time. I hope that it isn't a bother. I changed up my attributes a bit so here it is.

Appearance:

I stand 185 cm (about 6ft) and I weigh about 70 kg (154.3 lbs.). I have a slightly muscular built with a top hourglass type. I have short blonde hair with light blue highlights and blue eyes. I have light brown skin with a few scars and moles here and there.

Attitude:

I'm an INFJ-A, Ravenclaw, and an Aquarius. I'm the mature one in the friend group. Often times I am described as the "mom" friend and I believe that I am. People tend to describe me as intimidating at first glance. That is partly because of my height and my resting Bitch face. I tend to be quite cold, quiet, and distant at first. I have major trust issues and it takes a while for me to warm up to a person. However, I am very versitile went it comes to who I hang out with. My patience is very long and it takes a while for me to get annoyed or angry.

With those I am close with, I tend to be more talkative and open. I act as the role model and I love to help everyone. I tend to fake emotions when I talk with people. I'm insecure but no one really sees that side of me. Well, I don't often feel insecure but that's that. I'm that type of person that you will always see with a smile. And it would never falter, even at the worse times. A key attribute of mine is my ability to read people. I can read almost anyone like an open book! It's an amazing talent really.

Music taste:

I love all types of music. But I love pop, ballad, and classical more than anything! Or basically anything I can dance to.

Type:

I don't have a specific type. As long as they have good morals, I'm good. But I would prefer if they can handle the emotional mess called me. If not then at least we'll figure something out.

Fun facts:

- I play volleyball! I'm the setter of my team. But I am a versitile player (I'm sometimes called Female Oikawa by my team)

- I am a flirt, only to those I find interesting that is

- Flare and being extra is my thing

- I'm kinda popular where I am at

- Though I smile often, people are still kind of intimidated by me

Thanks bub~

💘

I’m matching you up with Shinso!!

I know it sounds like an odd match, but hear me out, it’s such a cute match!! You two are the Intimidating Gang, but when ppl start to see how you really are they’re so thrown off bc you’re so nice?? And Shinso’s still,, Shinso. Now I don’t know how you managed to get close to him, especially considering his quirk and your trust issues, but I’m gonna say that it was THE exception to the rule. Or that all of your friends started befriending him and you wouldn’t just be left out of that adventure. Nonetheless, I think that as soon as Shinso saw your nice and kind nature, he dropped a wall or two for you. Is it his fault that you just felt trustworthy to him? Lol it sort of hurt that you didn’t think the same of him at first, and he thought it was because of his quirk but when Kirishima just went “nah shes like that with everyone at first” it makes him feel a bit better?? And also intrigued??

Buddy saw you and threw his “I’m not here to make friends” speech out the window sksjdhhsa-

Oh my god IF YOU FLIRT WITH HIM I SWEAR- Internally Shinso.exe has stopped functioning but on the outside he looks almost unbothered save for the small blush on his face. And he thinks your flirting is so tacky (no matter how good it truly is). But that doesn’t mean he wants you to stop. If you catch him in a good mood, he might even play along. We all KNOW Shinso has a silver freaking tongue. He wants to render you speechless so bad?? But you keep up with him and he’s Shooketh but he can’t be speechless bc he told himself HE’D be the one to shut you up bUT YOURE SO QUICK WITH YOUR FLIRTING DID YOU PRACTICE IT?? You make Shinso go into lovesick panic mode it’s rlly funny

Last but not least, once you two get together and he knows you better, you cannot lie to this boy. He knows you and he’ll encourage you to talk to him in private. Is he the best at cheering you up?? No, even though he tries to. But Shinso is a GREAT listener and he really thinks just venting is a good thing to do.

Songs!!

- La Muerte del Angel (arr. by A. Delle-Vigne for piano), Astor Piazzola (do not question it, for It Fits)

- Talk, Hozier (SKSKSKS ITS A SHINSO VIBE HE LIKES THIS SONG A LOT)

- all the good girls go to hell, Billie Eilish

- Loving the Alien, David Bowie

[sukunas-play-thing]

Could I get headcanons for shihai kuroiro x f reader pls? Where she's utterly loyal and in love with him but she discovers that he has feelings for kinoko? And she doesn't wanna get in between that crush he's got?. Love u work pls keep it up!

Ahhhh gfgfjf I freaking love this chaotic mess of a man. Since you didn't specify the ending I went with one hope it's acceptable ><

Happy belated birthday my sweet Prince of Darkness! Also headcanons couldn't do this justice so I went with a scenario I really hope that's okay thank you anon bean I love you.

Word count: 8015

Warnings: slight angst

*Shihai Kuroiro xf! Reader*

The feeling is indescribable at best. Being in love.

How his quirk allows him to hide in the shadows, you'd never know he was there until he wanted you to know he was there. (Name) smiled as she watched him chat with kamikiri and Shishida. He's so mysterious, and so careful with how he speaks. Hands moving languidly as he's motioning his arms as if painting a picture of what's he's talking about. "(Name), earth to (name)." She Shook her head pulling herself from her deep thoughts seeing Kendo and Pony standing by her desk. "Oh. Hey." She said meekly while waving her hand to her peers. "Always in your own little world you ready to head to lunch?." Kendo asked while tilting her head.

Pony shaking in excitement. Taking one last glance at Shihai, she grabbed what she needed for lunch and headed out to the cafeteria with her friends.

****

"So you're telling me Taemin from SHINee is now with super M? No way." Kinoko's mouth hung open in utter surprise as her and Pony exchanged topics of K-Pop idols. (Name) honestly couldn't focus. Shihai's birthday is fast approaching and still hasn't gotten together what to give him. Part of her thought something small and subtle would be suffice, but she also wanted to finally work up the courage to confess. She knows he's into dark concepts, and has a knack for penchant dramatic speaches. She smiled remembering something that'd happened between her a kuroiro at her work.

*he was visiting her at her job to give her a CD of his favorite band that came out with a new album. She had to work late that night and do last minute shopping before heading home. When a child behind them was throwing a fit because her parents wouldn't give her a candy bar. As (Name) was ringing up her stuff Kuroiro had grabbed a candy bar from the stores shelves, rung it up on a separate register and as (Name) turned to him to ask if he was ready to go he looked the child dead in the eyes, "My darkened soul begs for substance, and this candy bar sure looks delicious." And ate the whole thing right in front of her. "Oh my god Kuro-kun you're terrible." (Name) giggled as she placed a hand on his chest playfully. She could feel his heartbeat on her finger tips like an array of thunder coursing through her veins, seeing his surprised look as he glanced at her hand then at her, she quickly moved her hand away blushing. What she didn't see was the small tint of pink dusting his cheeks as well.*

***

Then a realization hit her. She knew what to do for his birthday. "Hey guys something just came up I'll see you later. " grabbing her things (Name) took off without waiting for 'goodbyes" from her friends.

The theme is a black satin box with Silver trimming and a gold quarter size pentagram on the kid. The box was a big enough size to fit all his favorite things inside. A close friend of hers was good at carving things so she got with Kamikiri and Kodai to help her make the box for Shihai. Once the box was set she carefully placed all things he loves most, and we couldn't forget his favorite food black ink pasta. After the assorted goodies were placed in the box she wrote down a note containing dark themed clues to help piece the puzzle together in confessing her feelings for him.

Once the letter and clues were finished she carefully wrapped the box with skull and crossbones and waited until the next day.

"Heyo!." (Name) announced her arrival through the door of her classroom most of the classmates were already there saying hellos back to her. She skimmed the room for familiar silver hair but didn't find the male in question. "Where's Shihai?." She asked tetsutetsu. He looked around quickly before looking back at (Name). "He's not here did you check the lockers?." She Shook her head, her smile wavering but determination to find Shihai fueled her even more. With his present in tow she walked around the halls but couldn't find him. She checked the lockers like Tetsutetsu suggested, still no Shihai.

*"where could he be... "* more of a question to herself than anything. She ran straight into someone dropping the present in the process. "Shit (name) I'm so sorry." Kamikiri said while picking up said item. "Was the box to you're liking?." He asked handing it back to her. "Yes! It's so beautiful thank you so much for the help."

"Y'know. You never told me who or what it was for." (Name) glanced at the green haired man. "Oh.. It's for well." She mumbled while running her fingers through her hair. "It's for shihai. Todays his birthday and I wanted the present to be special." Smiling to herself. He nodded understanding. "Is that who you're looking for? I just saw him by the tree near the dorms. With Kinoko." Her heart thumped in her chest, an uneasy feeling soon settling in her very core. "Oh. Thank you! I'll bring this to him now." Right as she went to dash off Kamikiri called out. "Hurry up whatever the reason he said it' was important for him and kinoko to meet up." But when he looked up the female had already gone.

Upon arriving at her destination she seen Kinoko talking with Shihai by the tree. Her steps falter and slowed, maybe now was a bad time? Looking at the wrapped present in her arms she decided against it. Newfound confidence settling back in. But she couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of her head that kept screaming. *"turn back while you still can."*

Nevertheless she waited by a tree just a foot or two away for her opportunity to pop in and give him the present. While she was debating on how to go about it she overheard they're conversation.

"Komori-chan. I wanted to tell you... " Shihai's voice. He sounded so nervous, more nervous than she's ever known he could be. Yeah he is bad at talking to girls, but she never noticed him have a problem talking with her let alone they're other female classmates.

"I really can't help but think about you. A-and want to know if you would go on a date with me."

There it was. The nagging gut wrenching feeling she's felt since finding out he was down here. Her heart had shattered, and felt a lump in her throat upon hearing his confession. Looking at the box with much less determination. She slowly backed away from their conversation and left the scene like a dog with it's tail between it's legs.

****

Kamikiri and Kendo were walking back to class when they'd seen a wrapped present and a disheveled (Name) sitting on a bench. "(Name)? Is everything alright?." She asked placing a hand in the girls shoulder. Eyes peered through (hair color) locks, giving a bright smile (Name) jeered. "Oh me? Yes I'm quite alright. Why do you ask?" Kendo frowned. Fake so fake of a reaction she knew something was wrong. Kamikiri shifted uncomfortably on his heels. "(Name). You weren't able to give Shihai his present?." "Oh this? Haha well no he seemed too busy with Kinoko, so I thought I'd hold onto this for awhile." Her voice wavered. Kendo looked to Kamikiri then back to (Name) before two and two put together. "(Name), whats the present. If you don't mind me asking." She sat next to her. Finally she begun letting her walls fall. "Shihai.. He asked Kinoko out on a date. This present here? I was gonna give this to him not only for his birthday. But it contained a letter and clues, I was planning on confessing to him..." She took a breath. "But. It seemed he had someone else in mind instead."

((Lol this was super long. I'd put a 'read more' link but alas I did this all on mobile hopefully this was okay. Thinking about giving this a part 2? Not sure if this one was acceptable or nah thank you anon for this amazing ask I had a lot of fun writing this piece. Also the Part with the kid and candy bar? I seen someone make an incorrect quotes post of Shihai doing this it made me giggle bc he's totally the type to do this so I thought I'd implement that into the scenario hopefully it's okay.))

🐲Queen Targe 🐲

[poguesofthebau]

Hi! I saw that you were doing OBX ships? If I’m wrong you can ignore this lol. I’m a bi girl, 5 foot 2, green eyes and brown hair that’s shoulder length but I have no clue how to style it so it’s usually up in a bun or ponytail, I guess I’m a little chubbier than average, I want to be a school psychologist and I love swimming, cooking/baking, plants, and dogs, and I laugh when I’m scared or nervous, I love true crime tv and I also love taking photos and making things like bracelets. Thank you!

this is some chaotic writing right here, for which i apologize. wound up being a little more about what your cute ass friendships with the boys would be but like..... my attention span is really small so i kept getting off track but that’s something we all just need to deal with bc it’s above me, luv xx

i ship you with kie!! (honorary mention: the moment jj found out you wanted to be a psychologist, he had you dubbed as his personal therapist. first you thought he was just being an asshole but the more he had you sit down for a ‘session,’ the more serious it felt. that’s how you’d get close with jj, and you would quickly become one of his most trusted advisors)

i can see you growing up with pope as your best friend. you two would’ve just always been in the same classes, since pre-school, and that was apparently enough to make you inseparable. pope would be the first person you ever trusted, and then middle school would happen. for the first time ever, you and pope would be put in different 5th grade classes. however mortifying it was at first, it would lead to you befriending john b in your class, and pope imprinting on jj in theirs. (it was jj and john b’s first year in different classes since 3rd grade when they met, and while jb was just trying to make some new friends in mr. b’s class, jj would not be handling it well across the hall in mrs. redfield’s class. that’s where you and pope, respectively, would come in. kie was in the other 5th grade class, with mr.z.)

soon enough the four of you became one big, infamous friend group in 6th grade when the school made the mistake of wound up putting you all in the same class. conveniently enough, this would also be the first year any of you met kie, who was also in your class. she had a reputation for being essentially unapproachable-- she had a couple of friends that she hung out with on occasion, but she spent most of her time with her family at the restaurant. (idk why but i feel like kie would always beg to be allowed to work at The Wreck when she was young, and mr. c would always cave and let her do registers and maybe take an order or two because damn for an 11-year-old girl she was good at it. at least, better than the 16-year-olds he’d hired from the kook academy who didn’t care about their jobs.) because she seemed to prefer flying solo, none of you pogues ever interacted with kiara during the first few months of the school year. the first time you guys ever had a substitute teacher, though, all hell broke loose in that classroom. kids were standing on desks, and throwing shit, and being the little demonic 11-year-olds that they were. the only people who weren’t really destroying the room were you (as you sat in the back of the room making bracelets), pope (who was reading silently to your left), john b (who was doodling and laughing at the chaos ensuing before his eyes), and jj (who was bickering with you and essentially throwing a temper tantrum because you wouldn’t let him ‘go have fun.’ but ‘no calls home today, jj,’ was all you would say, and he knew you were right). a few seconds after you pulled out a stress ball for jj to entertain himself with, a fifth party would be joining. kiara. “hey,” she’d began, standing before you with a soft smile. “can i do some bracelets with you? i’m kinda sick of the riot.” you’d nod, eyes wide as she sat down across from you. jj both watched the whole thing intently, including your facial expressions, and it registered with him immediately. you had a little crush. initially, he wouldn’t even care enough to confront you about it, or to even talk to the other boys about it. sure, sometimes jj would laugh at the way you absolutely lit up when kie touched your hair, or your arm, or you at all. but, up until 8th grade, he would keep his mouth shut.

part of you would wish he’d said something right away. it would’ve been nice to have one of the boys know your big secret, but you were too paranoid to tell them. you trusted that they would still love you the same, but you didn’t trust that they could keep their mouths shut. regardless of your reasons for not telling them, you found out eventually that jj had known your secret all along. it was during the summer before 8th grade, really, when it happened. jj had been out surfing and scamming and roaming the island all day, and he wanted to crash somewhere other than with luke. so he’d make his way to your window, chucking rocks at it until you caught on and let him up. “something happen with your dad?” you’d ask anxiously as he climbed through the window, scoffing a laugh at your question. “nope. decided i didn’t even wanna give the dude a chance. stopping here for a bit, then i’ll crash at jb’s, i figure.” you nodded, retreating back to your bed before offering him a spot on your floor if he wanted. “nah, i’m good. big john already blew up the air mattress for me.” he’d flop down next to you on the small bed, causing you to chuckle. “so, you comin’ on the boat trip tomorrow? big john’s letting us take out the hms pogue for a while. kie’s supposed to be coming, too.” “what about pope?” he’d shrug, then nod. “yeah, pope’s coming, too.” you’d squint at him, flipping onto your back and sitting up to see him better. he looked at you quizzically, eyebrows raised as he waited. “why did you only tell me that kie was going?” he’d blink a few times, a smirk breaking out on his face soon after. your eyes widened, hands flying up to cover your face as you groaned and jj let out a giggle. “c’mon, dude. you think i didn’t notice your little crush?” you’d groan again, peering at him through your fingers. “how long have you known?” your hands would drop, and panic would rise in your stomach. “wait, you can’t tell her. you know that, right? she’s my best friend. she can’t know.” jj would give you a fuck that face, rolling his eyes at you. “bullshit, dude. i’ve always known, first of all. and, second of all, you should be the one to tell her. tomorrow, before we even get on the boat. just, let ‘er rip, right?” jj was standing from the bed as he spoke, backing toward the window again as you slowly and confusedly followed. “where are you going?” “headed to john b’s. but seriously. tell her. you’re not the only one whose little crush i can see loud and clear.” with that he was slipping out the window and hitting the grass below with a thud. you stuck your head out after him, looking at him incredulously. “you just came here to say you know i like our girl best friend and you know she likes me and then you’re just gonna leave?” jj nodded enthusiastically, shooting you two thumbs up and a bright smile as he began to jog away. “yes! truth’ll set ya free! love you, bye! see you at the wedding tomorrow!” (there was no wedding, but there would certainly be some fireworks.)

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

Thank you so much honey!!! It was amazing!!! If you are still accepting suggestions and in the mood for angst (sorry my nickname among my tumblr friends is angst whore LMAO) in which reader is pregnant with Jim's baby but he sorts of freaks out and she thinks he doesn't want them anymore? :(

my pleasure!!! 😊😊 i’m definitely in an angsty mood with my anxiety kicking up so feel free to keep the ball rolling lol (hope you don’t mind the bullet point format bc that’s easiest for me rn!)

you know what your new reality is even before the three minutes is up (all the signs are there: vomiting at all hours of the day, bloating that doesn’t seem to go away, the absolute agonising pain in your breasts every time hopper gets even a little rough with them)

the little pink plus sign makes your stomach lurch unpleasantly and your head is in the toilet bowl before you can really process it

you’re pregnant

with jim hopper’s baby

and you have no idea how he’s going to react

(he’d told you about sara late one night, when el was being particularly teenager-y and all three of you had ended up in a screaming match)

(the loss weighs heavily on him and the near misses with el over the years only made him more paranoid, more prone to freaking out, more overprotective)

you’ve never broached the topic of children with him and you regret that now

normally you have a decent grasp on how hopper might react to something, but this? this is entirely new territory

you’re still not sure where you stand on the whole kid thing, but as time passes (and it takes you nearly three weeks to work up the nerve to tell him, so time definitely passes) you grow attached to the little life inside of you

(imagining it with hopper’s blue eyes and a tiny matching scowl does things to your heart that you’ve never experienced before)

el is out with her friends on the night you tell him - a strategic decision because you can’t have this conversation with her in the house

there’s no easy or graceful way to broach the subject so you blurt it out when hopper’s lips are marking a trail down the side of your neck

“i’m pregnant”

his mouth stops and he goes stock still. you can’t breathe.

“what?” he says quietly against your neck and his tone sounds a little dangerous

your stomach flips as you repeat yourself. “i’m pregnant”

hopper pulls away from you, leaning back and creating a gulf between your bodies that feels insurrmountable

his face is so hard to read (harder than usual)

normally bright eyes are dull and his moustache twitches in time with the tic of a muscle in his jaw

“jim...” you start quietly and then trail off, unsure

he scrubs a hand over his face, shaking his head your heart drops to your feet as he pushes off the couch

“i can’t - i need - i’m -“ he jerks a thumb over his shoulder at the door, shoving his feet into unlaced boots and stalking off into the night

the door slams shut behind him and it echoes with a finality that has sobs wracking your body within seconds

he’s gone for hours and you curl up on the couch, succumbing to exhaustion after hour three with the gut punch of a realization that he may never come back and if he does, everything will be different

he does come back eventually and you jolt awake when the door clicks shut behind him

“jim?” your voice is hoarse from crying and you hope you don’t look as bad as you feel

“sorry,” he mutters, a haunted look in his eyes. your heart shatters - this is it. he’s done, it’s over.

“i know it’s not -“ you start to say, but he interrupts you

“needed a walk. to clear my head,” he says, running his hands through his hair. “shouldn’t have left like that.”

you don’t trust your voice

“s’not my place to tell you -“ his voice cracks a little, “tell you what to do with it. but...but if you...i’m here.”

you still don’t trust your voice

“didn’t think i’d do it again after sara. el came fully formed basically,” he huffs a wry laugh.

“you’re not leaving?” you squeak timidly

“nah,” he says, a one syllable answer that doesn’t match the tense set of his shoulders. “I wouldn’t.”

“i thought you might,” you say quietly

hopper snorts an angry breath through his nose. “thought i might too for a second there. but, it’s you. it’s our kid. i’m scared shitless, but you’re one of the most important things to me and a kid with your pain in the ass tendencies doesn’t sound so bad”

you’re crying now and it’s the hormones (it’s not the hormones - jim hopper is the most wonderful bastard of a man you’ve ever met)

“aw come on,” he mutters, uncomfortable with your tears

“get used to it,” you mumble through tears and snot

he drops down next to you on the couch and you hug him tightly, your baby growing in the space between you

[stonerbughead]

maria watches friday night lights (#4)

season 2, pt 2!! (2x08-2x15)

ugh Matt is really having his Being A Stupid Teenage Boy season huh?

-lol love a good naked dude being chased scene — in this case, Smash on his recruiting trip being chased around by a potential future teammate. Classic.

(it’s kinda cute that Matt came to pick him up tho)

- the latest in season 2 being off the fucking rails: really? Riggins’ new digs include a meth lab on wheels??

-Landry confessing to murdering someone and then having his sheriff dad drag him out of the station to go home is the whitest shit EVER. Like, Landry is literally *trying* to be punished and they just won’t punish his white, cop-kid ass. ‘Murica. (I mean don’t get me wrong: it WAS self defense against someone literally stalking and trying to rape Tyra, but the point still stands that if Landry was a black kid he’d have been tried as an adult and convicted no doubt)

-YESSSSS a MySpace shoutout! we love to see it

“I hate you” - Santiago (and also me) @ Buddy Garrity

-omg Coach Taylor noticing that things aren’t good at home for Riggins and taking him in, my heart!

-Wow in just one scene Riggins charmed baby Grace, warned Tami’s sister not to shame women for eating a lot (“it can lead to anorexia, especially in girls”) and then offered to go out to the store to get baby formula in the pouring rain. What a man.

-and yes, Shelly, you fully grown woman, it IS a bad idea to lust after a TEENAGE BOY

-wow Riggins protecting Julie from the SUPER DRAMATIC TORNADO that made me laugh. Do we get to have a Riggins-Julie friendship??? bc I’d be down. We need more friendships.

-Thank you, Tami, saying “EW” to her sister watching Riggins work out! Someone has sense to know a fully grown woman shouldn’t be lusting after a teenager! Julie can lust if she wants tho, that’s age appropriate.

-DYING at Landry being aghast that Tyra’s never heard of West Side Story.

-oh god, Lyla — it is totally fair to assume your mom would tell your dad she’s getting remarried, especially if she knew you’d be seeing him — so I’m sorry you’re the one who accidentally set off whatever nonsense Buddy is gonna pull now that he knows his ex wife is “marrying that treehugger.”

“Who’s that?” “Some douchebag named Chip. who names their kid Chip anyway?” Same, Tyra, same.

-Landry, one of my biggest pet peeves is asking someone out while they’re on the clock. Like, come on! let Tyra work, boy.

-Jesus Christ it’s like everywhere Julie looks, she has to see Matt making out with someone. That’s rough.

-and oop Matt you busted bc Julie actually knows who Carlotta is!

-once a cheater, always a cheater, Buddy. And yes to Pam for being like “nah bye I’m happy now, it is over.” You treated her like garbage so here we are, sir!

-hilarious that Landry is the one who ends up throwing the first punch that gets the post-tornado, school-crossover tensions to finally boil over

-I like that they show both the fall formal and the party where everyone who didn’t go to the formal is. Nice.

-Aw poor Julie got drunk af to deal with all her feelings. This really is the season where they have Julie and Matt being sixteen year olds in the most painful ways. So maybe it’s good they’re not together during this tho I’m still looking forward to when the tide turns their way again.

-anyway, Tim is a good friend for getting the creep who thought he was “one beer away from getting laid” off of Julie.

-And....in true Texas dad fashion, Eric Taylor misinterprets everything! Noooo. We can’t have nice things.

-This Noelle-Smash partnership is definitely an interesting pairing. Two very ambitious football people courting all these recruiters while Smash’s mom side eyes them in the corner? Hilarious.

-omg not this Oklahoma tech recruiter harassing smash’s mom in the grocery store! GTFO here! Give her some fucking personal space. They really do such a good job of showing as much of the toxic shit about football culture as the inspiring, big moments.

-Aw and I love that Tami tried to help Mama Smash get the guy to go away. It’s such a familiar scene, women helping each other get a dude harassing them away. And then they have a heart to heart in the parking lot? Love that.

-omg what a throwback that Shelly TAPED OVER Eric’s football game to tape a NEW EPISODE of The Office! Love it. “Y’all should get a TiVo.”

-omg watching Tami and Eric work out arguments is so beautiful, they communicate very well! We stan a good marriage.

-wow seeing the other coach from tornado school lose his shit publicly after he knocked down Riggins was uh....wild???? This is the second time he put his hands on Riggins!

-awww Eric actually coming to apologize to riggins for overreacting about Julie when he hears the real story??? Love it.

-Weevil from Veronica Mars shows up as a friend of Santiago’s? Of course.

-WOW and Logan from Gilmore girls as a Christian radio host...tracks.

“Is that your way of telling her you like her?” Jason making a surprisingly astute observation about Tim. (And Lyla.)

-yo why would you invite your daughter’s boyfriend’s family over for dinner just to say they shouldn’t date? (And bc it’s an interracial relationship.) Southern culture is wild to me lol

-wow the racist coach from last season is now off spouting his mouth about how “no wife of mine would be working with a kid at home.” I love that Eric calls him out as sounding stupid and ignorant — you better!

-hearing that Lyla burned her cheerleading uniform is one of the most badass things she’s done so far tbh along with that dealership destruction

-off the rails update: 2x12 was toooo much!! Like, Jesus between Smash’s sister getting harassed at the movie theater by the racists who hate on smash and Noelle...and this plotline with Santiago and his old friends trashing Buddy’s place...it’s like, can we breathe.

-I could not be more excited for Carlotta to leave and another teenage boy with adult woman relationship to end.

-wow can’t believe the plotline where Riggins stole $3000 from a drug dealer isn’t ending well for him. And now Smash is getting arrested bc of those racist guys from the movie theater episode? One recap I read said that too many of this season’s plots feel contrived and I think that sums it up.

-is there any character who HASN’T worked at Buddy Garrity’s dealership at this point?!

-and yikes at all the other salespeople being mad that a salesperson in a wheelchair was hired...y’all mad ugly and ableist for that

-Tyra and Landry are....confusing

-Wait Logan from GG is an actual preacher and not just a Christian radio host? CREEPY. And he kissed Lyla? A lot to unpack there.

-lol Tim trying to woo Lyla is kinda funny to watch simply bc Tim is clearly so confounded by rejection

-I love how much space they give for Smash’s sister’s pain in the Noelle-Smash theater incident. A lesser show wouldn’t have centered her as much.

-is it mean of me to say Jason is boring AF most of the time

-yeah this dreads girl is seemingly way more compatible with Landry than Tyra yikes! Like she made him a power metal mix cd???

-wow this Smash storyline where mouthing off to the press is what gets him suspended....really checks out bc teenage boys are dumb

-I love Tami as a volleyball coach and getting to see another sport! Also as someone who’s been on a losing team I know that feeling of finally winning a game!!! Go Dillon volleyball!!! (Am I maybe currently writing a Bughead fic based on my underdog field hockey experiences? ;) yes yes I am)

-Oh shit now Saracen’s at the nihilistic Nothing Matters phase of teenage angst. Right on schedule!

-lol these two short haired blondes (white dreads Jean and Tyra) being in a love triangle with Landry is wild

-Omg jean just said, “are you a friend or are you competition?” She is not playing!

-I love Riggins dragging Saracen to practice

“I don’t want you to become at an at-risk youth” -Landry teasing Saracen while also sincerely caring about him is some of the best friendship banter on this show. The accuracy 😂

-It seems like Julie gets a lot of hate? But I think I have such a soft spot for Julie bc I was a bitchy teenager with undiagnosed mental health disorders and I just wish so much #growth for her! Also I really do miss her and Saracen’s relationship, I’m so excited I’m almost at S3 where it seems like it’s happening again?

-LOL this guy at the dmv is the first person in Dillon to be like, “no I hate football.” That tracks.

-wow Saracen is getting driven to the hospital to make sure his grandma is okay by the sex worker who was just giving him a lap dance. Amazing.

-also I hope grandma is okay!

-okay Tyra throwing her hat in the ring for Landry at the last minute? Idk I think Jean deserves the win but there’s no way it’ll happen bc she’s a guest actor?!

-awww Saracen’s abandonment issues coming out whiles he in the tub after being sobered up by Eric Taylor. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” 😭 and “your daughter left me for a better guy” - will take that crumb — first mention of Julie out of Saracen’s mouth in a minute

-hey, Landry, my friend: flirting with a girl (Jean) to get her outside then dumping her immediately is kind of a wild bait and switch. But I get it, he’s been in love with Tyra for a long time and Tyra IS right — they had a very fucked up start to their relationship so it makes sense she needed a minute to process her ~feelings~. however I definitely identified closer to a jean in my high school experience L O L (minus the unacceptable white dreads)

-these Julie and Tami driving scenes are painfully accurate, btw. Love them.

-wow the scene of Smash hyping everyone up, the adrenaline/energy of the team cheering with helmets and a classic “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” - then the whole team running out onto the field and leaving an empty locker room with just Smash breaking down into tears....#art

-alright y’all I’m gearing up for the last episode of S2! Thanks to @lockitin for reminding me this is the writers’ strike season — I was in eighth grade then and remember being pissedddd about the shortened fourth season of “the office” — so I’m fully prepared for the abruptness to come.

-I love when they parallel showing the white church and the black church

-and Tim going to church just to see Lyla makes me laugh

-ooooof Jason you cannot put on this waitress you had a one night stand with the fact that this could be your only chance to have a baby!!! Omg this poor woman who just pointed out she, too, is NINETEEN.

-wait so is Riggins doing a sports show on a Christian radio station? What?

“I think you’re really hot. Your long hair reminds me of Jesus” -Christian girls being horny for Riggins LOL

-awww Saracen being like “okay Landry you’re gonna impress Tyra right now” before that football play was a cute friendship moment for those two

-aww I love how this Smash storyline is turning out with Coach Deeks whose had his eye on him for six years my heart 😭

-also unclear to me whether Logan Huntzberger the Preacher is a fully grown adult dating a high school senior?? Biggest teen drama pet peeve once again! Stop this!

-Tami is my heroine for just leaving Eric at the restaurant fighting with her ex. “see you at home, honey!”

-I’m sorry, is Jason gonna like actually convince this girl to have a baby with her one night stand at 19??? Oh lol wait THAT ended up being the cliffhanger of the whole season? Fucking hilarious.

well I made it through season 2!!! Super psyched for Season 3, Jay has been hyping me up for it. See y’all next time! (I’ll try to post more for season 3 bc this accidentally got long af.)

[angelbabylu]

Can We Just Talk? // AI

pairing: reader x ashton

warnings: angst, smut

word count: 9.1k

summary: lashton are brothers in this fic, reader & luke are best friends, reader is secretly fucking his brother

notes: about a month and a half ago i saw this picture of Luke and Ashton looking like brothers and i decided to write a smutty blurb about it. anyway here we are 9k later. this,,, is the filthiest thing i’ve ever written. its like only 4k actual plot the rest is smut. shout out to @baby-loba bc our hoe sessions inspired this fic tbh. It is only this nasty bc of you. also @aspiringwildfire for reading it & giving me advice before i posted. and @5sex-of-summa  for finding the picture for the fic (and @5sosnsfw for trying lol). love you all 

this fic is inspired by talk by khalid

--

The air turned heavy with anticipation. The second Luke got up and began walking away, both (Y/N) and Ashton had their eyes trained on his back, waiting for him to step out of view. When Luke rounded the corner, Ashton was on her. The hand that had previously been resting on her thigh crept closer to her heat and his mouth attached to her neck, lightly teasing the skin there.

“Fuck,” She groaned out, so overwhelmed she could barely keep her voice down. Silently, she thanked whatever deity was watching that the TV played loud enough to drown out her moans.

Moving to another spot on her neck, Ashton whispered, “You brought this upon yourself, baby girl.”  

1.

About three hours before, (Y/N) had received a text from Luke that simply asked movie night?

She had texted back immediately with yes!! can i stay the night?  

Movie nights had always been a staple of her and Luke’s relationship, but only recently had she begun getting so eager to spend the night. If Luke noticed, he hadn’t said anything. Perhaps he thought it had something to do with how lonely she got in that apartment by herself. That was only half of the truth.

The other half was that she liked what it meant for her and Luke’s older brother.

She had met Luke when they were both freshmen in Communication 101, bonding over their love for classic rock and their dreams of working in the music industry one day. She wanted to be in management and Luke wanted to produce music like his older brother. (Y/N) didn’t meet said brother until she followed Luke to LA, unable to fathom her life without him.

She remembered the day she met this brother very clearly. She was sweaty and disgruntled, unused to the boiling LA heat. Having been there for years already, he was seemingly unaffected.

The first thing he said to her was, “Are these yours or Luke’s?” signaling the boxes stacked on the right side of the U-Haul. As if she wasn’t hot enough, he had her flushing hotter. She could definitely see the family resemblance - the curly hair, the square jaw, the pronounced chin - but when he smiled, her heart reminded her that this was definitely not Luke.

“Those are Lu’s.”

“Cool,” he nodded. “I’m Ashton by the way.”

They lasted all of one year before they started fucking each other.

Luke, of course, had no idea. She and Ashton weren’t anything serious, so there was no need to concern Luke with the idea of sharing his best friend with his older brother or vice versa. And sometimes the struggle of always being around Luke, unable to touch each other, made their relationship even hotter. They were always finding ways to rile each other up without Luke noticing.

Like earlier that night, for example.

When she first got to the house, Luke was in the theater room flicking through movies on Amazon, while Ashton was in the kitchen preparing snacks. Instead of helping Luke with his choice, she lied, “I need to go to the bathroom,” and immediately made a beeline for the kitchen.

Ashton was standing with his back to her in a black sleeveless shirt, chopping a pineapple into small bite-sized pieces. She paused for a second, eyes trained on the swell of his bicep as his hand worked the knife, she could tell he had been working out.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me from the doorway?” He asked, snapping her out of her bicep fantasy.

(Y/N) let out a small chuckle before silently crossing the kitchen floor to him. She knew her and Ash were just friends with benefits, but moments like this made it easy to forget.

As soon as she got behind him, she placed both hands on his waist, got on her tiptoes, and placed a kiss gently on the side of his cheek. A feeling of warmth spread through her chest as he leaned into her. Then, he turned his head just as she moved to the side, both in sync, both bringing their lips together for the first of many times that night.

“Hey,” she greeted as they parted. She slid away and moved to stand at the counter to his right, close enough that his arms brushed hers when he resumed his pineapple chopping. Grabbing a slice, she slipped it into her mouth.

She didn’t miss the way his eyes flicked down to her mouth, watching as she licked the dripping pineapple juice from her fingers. When the air in the room went heavy, (Y/N) was not surprised. It was like this whenever they were around each other. There was something about being in each others presence that brought a cackle of electricity.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” She said, the bashfulness of her voice contradicting what she was about to do. “I’m going to need to borrow your hand for a second.”

He shot her a questioning look but pulled his hands away from the pineapple slices nonetheless. A small, lopsided smirk began playing on his lips, enough that she could see the slight indent of a dimple.

“My fingers are a little sticky.” He wasn’t sly. She knew exactly what he wanted.

She grabbed his hand, stepped closer, and said, “That’s okay, I can take care of that for you,” before bringing his fingers up to her lips. This wasn’t a part of her plan, but to say she had a thing for his fingers would be an understatement. She pulled three fingers into her mouth, loving how he immediately took over, pressing on her tongue as she licked and sucked around them.

“I’m assuming this wasn’t the surprise?” he asked, eyes locked on her lips as she switched out the three fingers for his thumb.

She shook her head, tongue circling the thumb. When she pulled it out, a small translucent strand of saliva still connected them. She licked her lips to break it.

“Nah, that was just a little extra,” she admitted with a wink. Ashton was always so responsive to her ministrations, it made her bold.

She moved the hand away from her mouth and slowly guided it down to the edge of her t-shirt dress, eyes locked with his the entire time. He took over, other hand coming to join the first, pulling her flush against his chest as he took a moment to enjoy the feeling of her skin under his fingers. It only took a few seconds before he realized the surprise she was showing him. He groaned, grabbed her ass in both hands, and pulled her even closer to him.

“Fuck,” he grunted, hands skimming up and down her lower back confirming, “You’re not wearing any panties.”

She nodded her head against his chest. “Wanted to make it easy for you,” she murmured. Her breath hitched as a large hand gripped her ass cheek and pulled before lightly gave it a light slap. “So, we don’t have to waste any time when Luke finally falls asleep.”

“How the fuck,” Ashton responded through gritted teeth, “Am I supposed to sit through this movie knowing you’re right next to me with no panties on?”

She looked up at him, bit her lip and shrugged. “But speaking of movies, I better go back to the theater room before Luke starts wondering where I am.”

As she pulled away, he shot her look that told her she would pay for teasing him like that later.

--

It was later, and she was paying.

Knowing Luke wouldn’t be in the kitchen for long, Ashton made quick work of wetting his fingers and pressing them on her clit. The feeling had her gasping, throwing her head back, and biting her lips to control her moans.

“Wish I could eat you out, baby.” He whispered, lips brushing against the column of her throat. “Wish we had more than a couple of minutes so I could get down and eat you out right here. You wouldn’t be able to sit through another movie night without thinking about my fingers and tongue inside you.”

He had a filthy mouth; she had a love-hate relationship with it. She loved listening to him talk but hated how he just had to breathe one word, and she’d be wet and pliant for him.

“Or maybe next time I’ll get you a vibrator, pretend I don’t realize how I’m ruining you while you struggle to stay quiet and still so Luke and I can enjoy the movie.”

Whining, she bucked her hips up, begging for more than the glide of his fingers between her folds, craving those fingers inside her. Grabbing the arm that was working her pussy, she dug her nails in hoping that he’d oblige.

He didn’t. Instead, he kept teasing.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Love struggling to stay quiet with a vibe inside you?”

And he really didn’t have to ask. He knew how much the thrill of getting caught made this thing with him even hotter.

But she whined, “Yeah,” anyway. Her breath hitching as his fingers finally slid inside her. Her other hand settled on his thigh with an iron grip. She needed something to hold on to - everything was too overwhelming.

Her next whine was interrupted by the sound of the microwave beeping in the kitchen.

Ashton was off her in an instant. He licked his fingers - reminiscent of that moment they had shared in the kitchen - before moving away and grabbing his phone. She gasped at the loss of him, at how quickly he had shifted off of her and took on a cavalier demeanor at his end of the couch.

Without even looking back at her, he said, “You might wanna cover up, baby.”

She was still struggling to compose herself, but she pulled her dress down, crossed her legs, and threw the blanket back over her for good measure. She had hoped that she could catch her breath, that she could control the flush on her face before Luke made it down the hallway and back into the TV room.

No such luck.

When Luke walked in, he took one look at her and asked, “Are you okay? You look flushed.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, hoping she didn’t sound too breathy. “But maybe we should head to bed after this movie? I’m a little tired.”

Luke shrugged, “Yeah I have an early day in the studio, anyway.”

For the second time that night she thanked whatever deity was up there looking out for her, helping her get laid.

--

The rest of the movie was a blur. Ash was a steady presence beside (Y/N), his hand resting on her thigh under the blanket, reminding her of what they could be doing that very moment. Luke was on the other side of her, reminding her why they couldn’t.

The half an hour it took for the credits to roll in was torture. It felt like every minute, Ashton’s hand would creep higher and higher up her thigh.

She knew he wouldn’t try anything - not with Luke draped against her. Too much movement on either of their part would alert Luke to what was going on. As much as a part of her wanted to say “fuck it,” wanted to drag Ashton upstairs, to let him have his way with her, it would be better for everyone if she waited patiently for the end of that half an hour instead.

When the movie was over, she and Ashton were out of their seats immediately. She grabbed Luke’s hand, trying to pull him off the couch and up the stairs.

“Let’s go to sleep,” she whined, hoping he wouldn’t see through the fake yawn that followed.

When he yawned in return, she counted it as a win. He still didn’t move from his spot on the couch, however, suggesting instead, “We should at least help Ashton clean up first.”

Ashton shook his head, already picking up the trays with a few pieces of fruit still leftover. “‘S okay, I got it.”

“You sure?”

Luke looked surprised. (Y/N) didn’t understand why - Ashton was always cleaning up after them. It was kind of his love language, these little acts of service.

“Thanks, Ash. Love you,” Luke chimed, finally standing up.

Ashton rolled his eyes in response. But they had a rule about always repeating the sentiment when one of them said I Love You, so as (Y/N) and Luke ascended the stairs, they were accompanied by the sound of Ashton calling “Love you too. Goodnight,” after them.

Luke and (Y/N) had done it so much lately, getting ready for bed together was almost routine. They spent about a half an hour together in the bathroom, brushing their teeth, washing their faces, and applying the various creams and serums of their nightly routine, all the while chatting about everything from industry gossip to what Luke should do with his hair. As Luke talked, she could lend him no more than half an ear, her mind consumed with thoughts of Ash, wondering if he was already in his bedroom waiting for her.

She wondered if he would take some time to rile himself up while he waited. Maybe he was sitting on his bed, idly playing with his dick, hissing as his fingers ran over it, knowing that his hands could never do her pussy or her mouth justice. Her mouth watered just thinking about it. She needed to get to him as soon as possible.

It took Luke all but screaming her name for her to snap out of this fantasy.

“You okay?” He asked, obviously concerned about her uncharacteristic spaciness.

Knowing she couldn’t very well say, “Sorry, I’m thinking about fucking your brother,” she shrugged and mumbled, “Just tired, I guess.”

Luke led them both out of the bathroom, shutting off the lights behind them. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Eagerly, she bounded towards the bed, lifted the covers, and slipped in. When Luke slipped in beside her, she breathed out a sigh of relief. She hoped he would fall asleep quickly so she could sneak from his bed and into the room right next to his.

About ten minutes later, she got her wish. Luke’s breath was coming out in short huffs which usually indicated that he was asleep. “Luke?” she tested. When he didn’t respond, she snuck from underneath the covers, making her way out his door and over to Ashton’s.

Ashton had been waiting for her. He must have heard her footsteps approaching because before she could even knock, he was opening the door and pulling her in. He had to be careful closing the door behind her, knowing that a slam could wake Luke easily - and waking up alone to a noise coming from elsewhere in the house would mean Luke coming to investigate. That was the last thing either of them wanted.

“God, I wish I could be rougher with you,” Ashton groaned, pushing her lighter than he wished against the door. He grabbed both ass cheeks immediately, kneading them in his large hands. “Wish I take you hard and fast until the headboard was slamming against the wall and you were screaming my name.”

The very idea of it had her squirming and moaning, pushing back against his large hands, hating the way he riled her up with no way of making good on his promises. She thought maybe the following day they could meet at her place, be as loud and as rough as they wanted to. She didn’t get the chance to suggest it before he’s wetting his finger and bringing it to her hole. Rubbing around, he was surprised to find her already a little wet with anticipation. He pushed the digit inside her, playing with her for a moment, darting in and out of her, loving the way she pushed back, trying to get the finger deeper.

As much as she loved getting fingered by him, she was horny, and this was not what she came for. She reached a hand behind her, rubbing down the front of him, trying to get a hand on his dick. He was only in his boxers, which made it easier for her to grip and rub it.

“Let’s take this to the bed maybe?” she suggested, words heavy with desire.

His finger slipped out of her; then, he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the bed, pushing her down to lay on her back. He grabbed her waist lining her up with the edge of the bed where he knelt before her.

“You have to be quiet,” he reminded, hands roaming up and down her thighs. This was a game they played. He liked to see just how much he could drive her crazy as she struggled to remain silent.

She bit her lip and nodded, “I can stay quiet,” but he threw her a skeptical look.

“One sound and I stop,” he warned, and with the warning still in his hazel eyes, he bowed and took to her heat.

She had to bite her lips to keep from crying out right away, squirming as he flattened his tongue and licked between her folds.

He licked a broad stripe over her pussy, coming a to stop at the clit, bringing it in between lips and sucking. She wasn’t expecting it, the pressure was too much - she had to bring her hand up to her mouth, covering it to prevent a cry. She could all but see him smirk at her reactions. He knew it was a matter of time before she couldn’t contain her screams anymore.

She tried. She did. She bit her hand, and her tongue and her cheek, bucking as he dragged his tongue back and forth against her. She could hardly breathe. One hand reached down to grip his hair for purchase, as she tried to lift her hips off the bed, chasing more of that sinful tongue laving over her pussy.

When he took her by surprise, sucking her clit into his mouth once more, both hands went to his hair, and she cried out, “Fuck, Ashton.”

She was so caught up in the heat of him, she didn’t realize what she’d done until he was off her, looking unimpressed.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

But it was too late. Ashton got what he wanted. She was always wound so tight in her everyday life, he loved that in bed he could get her to be less than perfect. And she loved the feeling of giving up control, something she had a hard time doing outside these moments with him.

“Turn over,” he ordered, standing up to remove his boxers as she rolled onto her stomach and got up on her knees, face pressed up against the sheets, ass waving in the air. When he looked up from where he had kicked his boxers off to find her ass in the air, he groaned and grabbed it for the third time that night. To say he was an ass man would be an understatement.

She wasn’t sure when he had rolled a condom on, but she felt his plastic clad dick pushing into her. When his dick bottomed out, she could already feel herself becoming overwhelmed with the feeling of him inside her. Her toes curled, and her hands reached out grip the sheets. When he started fucking into her, she knew that she would have a hard time staying quiet.

With every stroke she had to make an effort to control her moans, bringing her hand to cover her mouth, biting the sheet below her, holding her breath. None of this made a difference when Ashton began picking up speed, pounding into her.

She was whining lowly, twisting, trying to take him deeper, when he grunted, “You gotta be quiet, baby girl.”

And she nodded, but she really couldn’t control herself, each other breath drawing a moan or gasp or whine from her.  

Eventually, Ashton flattened himself against her, strokes becoming shallow and slow. He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “Shh, Luke’s gonna hear you.”

She shook her head against his. “Can’t.”

The sensations were too much. She couldn’t control herself.

“Just gonna have to help you out then.”

He pulled out of her, and she gasped whining at the loss of contact. Then he was flipping her over, leaning over her on the bed, realigning himself and pushing into her. This time, he had one hand braced beside her head, twisting in the sheets, the other came to curl around her throat.

There was something about his fingers around her neck that quieted her. Maybe it was just the sheer act of dominance that down, causing her to submit in every way. It brought her feelings inward, bringing awareness to how her entire body was aflame.

It felt so good to have him pounding into her while she was unable to breathe. She could feel her orgasm building, and by the look on his face, his orgasm was coming too.

When she came, her whole body seized, squeezing down on his dick. That had him chasing his own orgasms, a few pounds into her before he was coming too.

He rolled off her slowly, pulling off the condom, tying it, and placing it in the trash. When he came back to lie down next to her, he caressed her face, running his thumb over the light sheen of sweat that had collected on her upper lip and pressing a small chaste kiss on her lips.

“Was that okay?” he asked, fingers rubbing at where they were choking a few minutes before.

(Y/N) nodded, knowing that he liked checking up on her after getting particularly rough.

He searched her face, making sure she wasn’t just saying it, making sure she was actually alright, before saying “Good,” and capturing her lips again for a kiss.

This time it was filthy, tongue dipping into her mouth, rubbing against hers.

“We should get under the covers maybe?” He suggested. Then he gestured to both their states of varying undress. “I mean I’m cold.” He didn’t have anything on, but she was still wearing her dress, bunched up at her hips.

She chuckled but shook her head. She did consider it very briefly. Since they’d started fucking, she had gotten kind of addicted to the feeling of his arms around her. But, she knew she couldn’t, Ashton knew she couldn’t, not when Luke had fallen asleep with her in his bed an hour before.

Sitting up she said, “Gotta get back before Luke notices I’m gone.”

She saw the moment his face fell and fought to ignore the tightening of her chest. Leaning down, she moved for one final kiss. “We can do something tomorrow night?” she suggested, remembering her earlier idea. “You can come over, and you can get as rough as you want and we can even cuddle after.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, in a manner that almost sounds like relief, burying his hand in her hair and pulling her down for that last kiss. 

2.

When Luke left early the next morning, (Y/N) almost left too. She had an entire morning routine - gym, breakfast, then work, like clockwork, every morning. Yet, all it took was her being in the same house as Ashton to get thrown off her game. She felt pathetic just sitting around for him to wake up, so she ended up making herself some breakfast. It was nothing fancy - just a smoothie from the leftover fruit in the fridge and an English muffin.  

She had the blender on high when Ashton emerged from his bedroom, coming to greet her in the kitchen. She didn’t hear him coming up behind her, so the hand on her waist and the kiss to her hair was a surprise.

“Morning,” he mumbled, sleep still evident in his voice. He released her and moved over to the dishwasher to grab a cup. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at the gym?”

“Just woke up,” she lied, figuring that sounded infinitely less pathetic than I couldn’t bring myself to leave without seeing you.

He smiled as he filled his cup with water from the fridge door. It was a knowing smile, one that told her he was well aware she hadn’t just woken up. Before he could call her out on her lie, she asked, “Do you want to do lunch?”

“Sorry,” he responded, causing a cloud of disappointment to settle over her. “I have lunch with an artist. But I’ll be by your place tonight, okay?”

She obviously didn’t do a good job of hiding said disappointment, because he was crossing the kitchen floor to grab her chin, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “Don’t be sad,” he said, kissing her once on the lips. “I’ll more than make up for it tonight.”

--

She had lunch with Calum instead.

“Speaking of Ashton.”

That was a mistake.

“Were we speaking of Ashton?” She asked throwing him a look of irritation. They were not. He had waited until there was a lull in the conversation to spring the topic on her.

Which really could only mean one thing.

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, she said, “He told you.”

Calum at least had the decency to look apologetic. “Sorry,” he said. “But to be fair, you had to know he was going to tell me.”

She opened her mouth to argue but couldn’t. Ashton and Calum were very big on openness and honesty with each other. Ashton keeping a secret from Calum was rare, unheard of even. She should have expected it, but that didn’t mean she was any less annoyed by it.

“To be honest,” She joked as a means of hiding her frustration. “I’m surprised he didn’t roll over and text you immediately after he finished. He at least waited until he got me off first. I’m proud of him for that.”

The joking also kept the bubbling anxieties at bay. It quieted the voice in the back of her mind trying to tell her that one more person in on her secret was one additional variable she had to keep track of. Being with Ashton made her feel out of control enough. She loved it in the moment but, at times like these, the lack of control burned a hole in her chest.

Unfortunately for her, Calum sobered the conversation. “You’re not mad that I know, right?”

She didn’t know how to respond. Yes, she was mad, but she was trying very hard not to be.

“It’s me. I’m not going to tell anybody.”

And she knew that. There were definitely worse people that Ashton could have told. But at the same time. . .

“I don’t know, Cal. I was kind of hoping it would be just between him and me.”

“Why? This group has never kept secrets from each other. I know intimate details about both your sex lives. What makes this time any different?”

She sighed.

She had forgotten who she was talking to.

This was Calum Psychoanalyst Hood, and she was ever his favorite patient. She had a habit of ignoring her feelings and making bad decisions, and he had the habit of pointing them out. But never in an upfront manner. He preferred to let her know he was concerned about the way she was acting without letting her know why. She hated it; she had a reason for ignoring those feelings in the first place.

They were interrupted then by the waiter shuffling towards the table to ask if everything was okay with their meals. She clammed up as Calum said, “Everything is great, thank you.”

The waiter brought a brief reprieve to their conversation, both of them taking a moment of silence to begin eating again. This did not last long. Both her and Calum were too confrontational as people to just leave the conversation be.

She cracked first.

“Maybe I didn’t want him to tell you because I thought you’d make a big deal about it and do something like, I don’t know, ruin our lunch by terrorizing me about it.”

“I’m not terrorizing you. Two of my best friends are fucking each other and keeping it a secret for some reason. I can’t help but be concerned.”

“What’s concerning? There’s no need to be concerned. It’s just two adult friends having frequent consensual sex with each other. No need to be concerned.”

It felt hypocritical for Calum to be concerned about this. He had many different friends with benefits arrangements. She did too, and so did Ashton. Why would it be a problem now?

As she looked up into deep brown eyes, heavy with apprehension, she knew, one way or another, that she was about to find out.

Calum was silent for a beat, letting her anger seethe while he took a bite of his sandwich and a sip of his water.

Then he said, “Am I correct in assuming that the reason you don’t want Mikey or I to know is that because you’re afraid that Luke will find out?”

Oh right, Luke.

That was the one thing she worried could blow up in her face. But she couldn’t just tell Luke. There were so many reasons why Luke could react badly. Most notably was the fact that she and Luke had become inseparable in the last few years. Luke had gone through a lot of shit with his ex in their final year of college and (Y/N) was his crutch throughout the aftermath. When they left for LA a year ago (just a few months after Luke broke up with his girlfriend), Luke had been friendless, depressed, and was a borderline alcoholic. She spent months picking up the pieces. There are moments from his rehabilitation that still haunted her; moments where Luke’s newfound abandonment issues were out in full force. She had been the last of their old friend group to stick with him, and while Luke never said it outright, she knew he was afraid of losing her too.

He was a lot better now, but she could see how he might think this thing with Ashton meant losing her. Was it so terrible that she wanted to enjoy her relationship and spare Luke’s feelings at the same time?

As if the thought of Luke finding out wasn’t haunting enough, Calum followed up with, “Well, afraid probably isn’t the right word since you guys keep almost having sex around him.”

That comment wasn’t particularly fair. Yeah, she and Ashton frequently teased each other in Luke’s presence, but they were careful about it.

(She didn’t want to think about how careful had a habit of flying out the window with Ashton around.)

“You guys might want to stop that if keeping Luke in the dark is truly your aim.”

And there he went, being cryptic again without explaining himself. She felt irritation building like an itch, and she had to scratch. She couldn’t let him continue.

“What the fuck do you mean if it’s truly my aim?” She asked, voice low, ever aware of how easy it was for her to get loud. “You know I hate it when you psychoanalyze me like that.”

“I’m just saying,” Calum pushed back. The intensity of his voice matched hers, but without the underlying anger and irritation. “That the part of you that so desperately wants no one to know needs to have a conversation with the part of you that’s itching to get caught.”

She pushed her bowl away. She was done. With the food and the conversation. She hated that Calum brought up such good points about the incongruity of her actions. She wished that he would just tell her what he thought it all meant.

She said as much to him, “Well since you know me so well, why don’t you tell me what I really want.”

“(Y/N), I know you dislike thinking about your emotions, but this is one thing you’re going to have to figure out yourself.”

Conversations like this were such a commonplace in her and Calum’s relationship, he recognized the moment she reached her breaking point.

“Go,” he said, and she stood immediately.  

One day she would learn to sit and fully finish an argument without having to run away or having to change the topic of conversation. For now, she behaved as she always had. She stored everything Calum had said in the back of her mind, ready to spend her day thinking it over, stood up and grabbed her things.

“Love you,” said Calum before she could walk away.

It was times like this where their dumb little rule about always saying “I love you” back was so important. When she and Calum had an honest conversation like this, his  “Love you” served as a way to remind her that he said what he had because he cared.

She parroted her, “Love you, too.” It released her of all the negative feelings that arose and reminded her that their friendship was much more profound than her mild irritation.

As she passed by his chair on the way to the exit, she stopped. She placed a tiny kiss to his hair, smiling as he leaned into it. 

3.

That the part of you that so desperately wants no one to know needs to have a conversation with the part of you that’s itching to get caught.

Calums words ran through her mind all day. Did a part of her want to get caught? She didn’t think so. It was probably more accurate to say there was a magnetism about Ashton that made her throw all caution to the wind. That was the bigger issue. She was so consumed by her thirst for him, that she constantly forgot herself.  

Had this been anyone else, had she been in her right mind, she would not have allowed it to continue for as long as it did. She knew what she had to do - she had to take control. What she and Ashton needed were boundaries.

But boundaries were easier said than done.

She was sitting on her living room sofa hours after her lunch with Calum. She ruminated on what he had said, a glass of wine in one hand, the rest of the bottle sitting in wait of its consumption atop her coffee table. In her other hand was her phone. She had been staring blindly at it for a few seconds now. She hadn’t decided yet whether to take snapchat up on their offer to respond or their offer to replay.

She said, “Fuck it,” aloud to herself, then tapped replay.

As the video started, all she could see was Ashton’s hand and in it was a tiny, purple, egg-shaped device with a small hook curving off of it, and an equally small remote. She felt heat pool in the pit of her stomach immediately. Her eyes hadn’t deceived her the first time - he was, in fact, holding a vibrator.

“Hey baby,” his voice came rolling through the speakers, gruff, sexy, and commanding as always. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you today. Thinking about how you’d look with a vibrator in you as you sat through one of our movie nights, trying to keep your whines quiet.”

He rolled the device back and forth between his fingers as he spoke.

“The thought of you being quiet for me, being a good girl for me, got me so worked up that I had to stop by the store on the way home. I bought us a vibrator.”

She was expecting the camera flip this time, ready when Ashton’s face popped up on screen. The phone was close enough to his face that she could feel the lust in those deep hazels burning through the phone. “And luckily for us, the boys wanna hang out tonight, so what do you say?”

She bit down the part of her that so desperately wanted to say yes and overwrote it with reminders of Luke and why boundaries were necessary.

Ashton, she typed out, holding her breath as his little bitmoji popped into the chat. I don’t think we should do these things around Luke anymore.  

As soon as he read her message, he was facetiming her. She declined the call immediately,  worried that he would be more than capable of convincing her to go against personal interest.

So instead of getting a conversation face to face, he got a text message. We don’t need to talk about this Ash.

I think we do.

She took one look at the bubble at the bottom of the screen that indicated Ashton was typing and decided that she really didn’t want to hear it. Acting on pure instinct, she turned off her phone and threw it on the couch just opposite her.

Going wireless for the night had not been the plan, this conversation with Ashton definitely was not the plan, but she decided to use it to her advantage. Picking up her laptop, she began catching up on some work, all the while desperately trying to distract herself.

Nearly eight o’ clock, two hours later, her efforts prove to be a success. She was so caught up in the analysis she was doing for work, she didn’t even think when she heard a knock on the door.

After picking up her glass of wine and draining the last of it, she absentmindedly moved towards her door.

“Who is it,” she asked stopping just shy of the knob, hand already outstretched.

“It’s us.” The gruff, unmistakable sound of Ashton’s voice had her pausing in surprise.

Fuck.

Her only consolation was that he said “It’s us,” and not “It’s me,” which could mean Luke was there. And Luke would make a great barrier between her and Ashton if needed.

She tried to steady the shaking of her hands as she reached out and opened the door. Standing there were Luke, Ashton, and Michael, all portraying varying emotions. Luke, as always, looked happy to see her, Michael looked his usual excited puppy-like self, but Ashton, she could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves.

“What the fuck, (Y/N)!”

Yeah, he was angry.

Her immediate response was to go on the defensive. “Don’t come into my fucking apartment and yell at me, dick face!”

Ashton ignored her and barreled into past her. Luke and Michael followed him in, shutting the door behind them. They stopped and stood, each of them flanking her as they watched Ashton go on his tirade.

“Where the fuck is your phone? Why haven’t you been answering any of our calls? We thought something happened to you, asshole.”

Before she could react, go to that place of anger and annoyance, Luke stopped them, stepping forward between her and Ashton. “Relax,” he called over his shoulder at Ashton. Placing both hands on her shoulder, he asked softly, “You okay, bubs? Was kind of worried when you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled, allowing herself to be pulled into a hug. “My phone was off. I wanted to get some work done.”

The look Ashton shot her over her shoulder said he saw right through her lie. He knew she was trying to avoid him. She closed her eyes to it and buried her face in Luke’s neck.

Michael, in true Michael-like fashion, ignored all the tension in the room and announced, “She’s okay, just like I said she’d be. Can we go get food now?”

She must have been a pit stop on their way.

Luke pulled away from her, looking her in the eyes. “As long as you’re okay?”

She smiled, heart warmed by Luke’s concern. “I’m okay.” She promised. “I just wanted to get some work done. I’ll definitely let someone know next time.”

And that was enough for Luke. Looking past his shoulders, her eyes caught Ashton. That was not enough for him. He still looked furious, the intensity of his stare burning holes through her.

“You guys go ahead.” This was the first thing he’d said all night that rich with anger. “I need to talk to (Y/N).”

She hated the way that turned her on. She knew he was still angry. The thought of being alone with him and that anger should make her nervous, but instead it made her want to fall to her knees, have him use her until he wasn't angry anymore.

There were mumbled “okays” and “goodbyes.” Michael and Luke both hugged her and, before she knew it, they were alone.

She sat down and poured herself another glass of wine from the already half empty bottle. She was going to need it for this conversation. Ashton had already started pacing.

Three sips in and he was still pacing. God, she hated how hot his anger got her. She always thought that if she got into a relationship like this, based so heavily on passion, she would match her partner, anger for anger. But here she was, ready to submit if it meant getting what she wanted.

“Ash,” she began.

He didn’t even look at her.

She did not like that.

“I shouldn’t have turned off my phone, I get it. But I didn’t want to have a conversation about it. I didn’t want you trying to convince me.”

His head snapped around, eyes finally meeting hers. There was that animalistic passion again, burning bright in his eyes.  “We have to talk about shit, (Y/N). This isn’t going to work if you refuse to communicate with me.”

She had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It just wasn’t that serious. It wasn’t like she was ending their arrangement. It was one small boundary. Putting her glass down, she sauntered up to him, stopping him in his tracks. She had other ideas about how he could use his anger.

“I’m sorry.” She reached one hand out, running it down his chest, allowing her nails to claw at him through the soft cotton material of his shirt.

He grabbed her hand and placed it back at her side. “Stop trying to distract me.”

Stepping even closer, she put both hands on his chest this time. “I’m just trying to apologize,” she said, letting her want spill over into her voice. She could feel his resolve breaking in the way his chest heaved beneath her fingers. She knew what would push him over the edge.

“Let me show you how sorry I am, daddy.” Dropping to her knees, she pouted, looked up at him underneath long, fanning eyelashes and breathed, “Please.”

That was all it took.

He swore and hastily undid his belt, shucking both his jeans and his underwear off to the floor. She watched, entranced, as he took his dick into his hands, pumping it twice. Her mouth watered at the thought of swallowing him down, getting him hard.

“God, look at you,” he groaned, one hand coming to rest at the nape of her neck. “You’re gagging for it.”

She whined and nodded, showing him just how desperate she was for it. She pushed his hand away and took over. Starting at the base of his cock, she licked a stripe to the top, moaning as she got to the head and sucked it into her mouth.

“Shit,” he whispered. A hand came to rest at her nape as she bobbed up and down a few times before finally taking him down to the hilt.

When she came back up again, spat on his tip and murmured, “Fucking love your cock,” using her thumb to spread her spit over the head.

She loved putting on a show for him like this, wanton and begging, because she loved the feel of his attention entirely on her. It also got him hard like crazy. It didn’t take long before she could feel him start to fill up her mouth. His breath was coming in pants from above her as he surrendered completely to her ministrations.

She was moaning on his dick, taking him down as far as she could go, when he stopped her.  

“Baby girl,” He moaned out, hand tightening in her hair. She didn’t want to stop. Ignoring his words, she sucked him down until she was choking on him, hands coming up to play with his balls.

She couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction as he cried out “Fuck.” He got a tight grip in her hair pulled. She whined and released him then, head rearing back to lessen the pain.

“Let’s take this to the room,” He commanded, bringing the hand from her hair to rest on her chin. Gently, he nudged her to standing height and pressed a soft kiss on her spit soaked lips. “Need to fuck you.”

She threw her arm around him and drew him down into a deeper kiss. Sliding her tongue against his, they took a minute to re-acquaint themselves with the taste of each other. He ended the kiss with a nip against her plump bottom lip.

“Bedroom,” he demanded. “Now.”

He stepped out of his boxers and pants before following her down the hall and into her room. On her way there, she removed her shirt and shimmied out of her pants, both items of clothing tossed over her shoulder haphazardly. Thank god she lived alone.

When they both got to the bedroom, Ashton pulled his shirt off, his last article of clothing, and came to stand in front of her. His lips immediately went to her neck, gently tracing down the side of it, stopping to nibble at her shoulders. His hands traveled down her waist, exploring everywhere, dipping into and out of her underwear.

“I’m still mad at you,” he grumbled.

She rolled her eyes but resisted quipping back for fear that it would set him off on his tirade again.

“We’re going to have to talk if we want this thing to work.” He continued, this time spoken from the spot beneath her ear.

Sighing, she pulled away from him and looked up into hazel eyes.

“I’ll be sure to talk to you next time,” she lied. “I promise.”

That was exactly what he needed to hear. He brought his large hands down to cup her ass, lifting her up, causing her legs to wrap around him on instinct.

“Thank you,” he said, before kissing her again, filthy and deep. She almost felt sorry for lying to him, but she knew that the best way to take control back from someone like Ashton, was to let him think he still had it.

He walked to the edge of the bed and gently deposited her on top of her comforter, mouth never once leaving hers.

“You gonna be loud for me tonight, baby?” He asked when they separated from each other. His words brought electricity back to the air, their usual passion burning bright.

She nodded eagerly in response. There was no need for secrecy between them tonight, no Luke to cause her to hold back her moans.

He nudged her to her stomach and pulled at her hips, bringing her to her knees. “Let’s get this off,” he said, slapping her cotton covered ass once gently before thumbing underneath her panties and pushing them off.

He wasted no time bringing a finger to her entrance. He slid inside her easily, pussy already dripping for him. His finger pumped in and out of her a few times before he brought another finger up to join the first. The feeling of his fingers was both too much and not enough. She loved his fingers, but she wanted more. She wanted to be full with him. She wanted his dick inside her.

She was about to complain when his fingers bent just right, and he hit that spot inside her that had her crying out. She arched her back and moaned at the feeling, “Fuck, Ashton.”

He hummed, pulling out his fingers, but dived down immediately to replace them with his tongue. He licked into her, laving between her folds, all the while her hands twisted and pulled at her comforter.

Without the pressure of being quiet that night, she chanted his praises, letting him know how good he felt. She allowed herself get so lost in the feeling of Ashton’s tongue on and inside her, when he came up for air she heard herself whine pathetically at the loss.

Chuckling, he bit her ass cheek then sucked until she was sure he had left a bright red mark she wouldn’t be able to ignore tomorrow. He liked eating her out from behind for precisely this reason. It was rare for her to walk away from Ashton without at least a couple of bruises on her ass.

He slapped the cheek twice, each time landing on the already painful bruise he had sucked. She felt her body quiver at the sting of it. She moaned his name, “Ash.”

“Ready for me to fuck you, babe?”

She could feel her whole body jerk with how heavily she nodded her head. The warmth of Ashton’s body disappeared from behind her for a moment as he reached over into her bedside table rummaging for a condom. She panted and pushed her ass back in anticipation.

With the condom rolled on, he returned his attention to her, crawling onto the bed behind her, grabbing her hips, and aligning himself with her before pushing in.

He started off slow, allowing them both to get used to that feeling of him buried deep inside her. She encouraged movement, pushing back against him, writhing impatiently, and gasping, “Fuck me, Ash.”

That was all it took for him to take charge. He grabbed her hips and established a rhythm as he slammed into her. The room filled with the sounds of sex. Each thrust was punctuated by the slap of their skin and her voice as she repeatedly screamed his name. She got loud for him, letting him know how good he made her feel, how she loved the feeling of his dick deep in her pussy.

She wasn’t surprised to feel her orgasm building. She had been worked up since the second he started yelling at her that night. When she came, her whole body clenched, and her knees gave out underneath her. He followed her down, dick still deep inside her. He slowed his thrusts while the waves of her orgasm passed, then grunted at how limp and pliant she was underneath him.

Pulling out of her, he flipped her over. He crawled over her, realigned himself, and pushed back into her. She cried out, loving how sensitive she was from her orgasm. She knew he was close too, they had done this long enough that she recognized that look on his face.

She brought a hand up and ran it through dyed red hair before pulling him down for a kiss.

That was the wrong move.

Instantly, she was consumed with the intimacy of the moment. There was nothing dirty and animalistic about the way he licked into her mouth. This felt like a different kind of passion, and that scared her like no other. He pulled away from her to look her in the eyes.

“I love this,” he confessed, one hand coming up to brush away the hair that was sticking to her face, his hips still snapping into her, his thrusts deeper and slower now. “Love doing this with you. I feel so connected to you.”

“I-” she started, but she didn’t get to finish because he was crying out, his hips stuttering to a stop as he came inside her.

He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the heady scent there as he climaxed inside her. They both laid still for a few seconds after he came, breathing in each other and basking in the afterglow. Seconds later he rolled away, tying off his condom and throwing it in her bedside trash bin.

She paid no attention to what she was doing. Her mind was far away. She allowed herself to be moved pliantly as he came back next to her and laid her on his chest.

“I” she had begun to say. If he hadn’t interrupted her, she might have said something she would have come to regret. And even Ashton, the way he said his piece, the “I feel so connected to you” felt deeper than his usual praises when they had sex.

What did it all mean? She didn’t know, but the twisting feeling she had gotten while talking to Calum earlier was back with a vengeance.

God.

Fuck.

She rolled off of him. This was getting to be too much - the closeness of them. She had felt it before, the way how the relationship felt like more than just a friends-with-benefits situation, but her stupid talk with Calum now had her dwelling on it. She wondered how they ended up here, trying to find the defining moment took their relationship from one friend eating out another at a studio in West Hollywood to this.

It happened while she wasn’t looking.

She sat up and moved towards her bathroom door.

None of that mattered anyhow, she tried to tell herself, not now that she was taking back control.

“Hey,” she called over her shoulder. “Make sure to close the door when you leave.”

There was confusion in his voice. He sounded almost small as he asked, “I can’t stay over?”

She took a deep breath and turned. Meeting his eyes, she begged her resolve not to crumble. “Why would you do that?”

They were silent for a moment, eyes locked on each other. For a moment she thought he would complain, make a fuss like he did earlier. Instead, he released a frustrated grunt and began to get dressed.

“See you later, Ashton.” It was hard not to look back as she walked into her en-suite.

-- 

end notes: ok so confession: this is theoretically parts 1-3 of a 9-ish part story, but I thought it worked well as a stand alone. don’t forget to let me know what you think! 

[letters-from-the-three-houses]

ahh I love your blog!! could I have a dimitri sickfic please, if you're taking requests? he seems like the type to overwork himself (to me, at least :(

he really does!! the poor boy should take care of himself :(

ft. the rest of the blue lions (silver lining for the long wait?) bc they all care about their house leader

enjoy!

edit: every time i publish a request before i go to the school, the moment i arrive to class i always spot typos lol. and this one had a looot. fixed them up!

When the coughing first appeared, he thought nothing of it. They always came and went with a good night’s rest, and he had no reason to think this one would be different.

He was wrong.

Voice hoarse, he kept clearing his throat as he tried to help Annette with her homework. She always had difficulties explaining things properly, and their teacher docked marks because of her lack of coherent thought. So he took it upon himself to tutor her and help boost up her grades. “Imagine the gaits as beats,” he said. “A walk is four—going in the pattern of left hind leg, left front, right hind, right front, and so forth.”

“Left hind…front… Wait, could you repeat that? Which leg then what? This? This? This?”

They had drawn a nice, simple horse illustration on Annette’s papers, her pencil pointing at each stick leg to show which one she was referring to. Dimitri was having trouble differentiating them. He repeated his explanation. “Legs of the same side are back to back—left, left, right, right—while the halves interchange—back, front, back front.”

“So beat one is back left, beat two is front left…”

He nodded, then winced. Okay, that was a mistake. That just made his head hurt. “Yeah, just like that.”

She beamed. “Oh! I see! I think I get it now. Thanks!”

“No problem. What else do you need me to clarify?”

“Nah, I think that’s it. I’ll try to do the rest myself.” Motioning to her notes, she added, “Besides, you’ve helped me a lot! I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Sure thing.” He rose from the seat, careful not to make any sudden movements. “I’ll get going then, but let me know if you need more help.”

“Yep! Thanks again, Dimmie!”

He stumbled away from a waving Annette, making sure to stand upright and walk in a straight line.

Now I have to feed the horses, go to lance practice, catch up on the assigned readings… Ah, I also promised Ingrid I’d try her new tea. She’s been making good progress with—

Cough.

He sighed. Hopefully this would stop soon.

But as the days went on, the more it took for him to resist barfing.

Placing a hand on the wall, he took a deep breath. Gods, it felt like his skull was cracking open. Everything hurt. Everything was hot. He didn’t even know where he was anymore.

“Common room?” he said to himself. “I think I’m near the common room.”

He had just come from the armoury, hands heavy with all the papers and materials he needed for the task. Felix didn’t realize it, but he sometimes broke the training swords faster than the monastery could replace them. Dimitri had taken up the slack in order to keep it well-stocked, so his friend could continue practicing without hassle.

“…Milord? What are you doing on the wall?”

He turned around. It was Dedue. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

Dedue didn’t seem to believe him, and he bent over to study him with a frown. Or, Dimitri figured it was a frown. He couldn’t see it properly, but he was still conscious enough to realize Dedue wouldn’t be smiling. “You look sick.”

“I’m only taking a breather,” he insisted. He had to get to the library to find source materials for the essay Sylvain has having trouble on. If he left the books on Sylvain’s desk later, the boy would be able to finish his essay on time. “No need to worry.”

But as he tried to pat Dedue’s shoulder in assurance, his vision blurred and he hit the ground, things scattering around him.

“Milord?!”

“No…I’m okay…” He struggled to keep his eyes open, but the sudden fall and the yelling made his head hurt. “Just…tired…”

He felt Dedue lift him up, his arm hanging loosely around the other’s neck. Feet dragging,  breathing ragged, his mind was beginning to shut down.

“Really…it’s nothing…I still have to…”

“Milord,” he heard Dedue say. “With all due respect, be quiet.”

The last thing he saw was a group of people running towards him before he passed out.

He woke up on something soft. It took him a second to realize he was staring at the ceiling.

…Wait, where was he?

Jolting up, he surveyed the room. White walls, beds, sterile sheets. The infirmary, if he had to guess? His head hurt noticeably less, his throat was less clogged, and he could actually count how many fingers he held up before his face.

“Oh? You’re awake?” He turned to see Manuela in her chair, brows raised but otherwise nonplussed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he said after some deliberation.

“Any headaches?”

“Yeah, but it’s not as bad as before.”

“Stuffy nose?”

“Less stuffy.”

She stalked over to take his temperature, noting it down on a piece of paper. “Your fever is breaking. And it looks like you’re not coughing as often. Good signs. Take it easy though. You’re still sick.”

“How long was I out for?”

“Nineteen hours.”

“Nineteen?!”

She gave him a reprimanding stare. “With how terrible your condition was, I’m surprised it wasn’t longer. You gave us quite a scare, looking as pale as you did. Your housemates were panicking when they brought you here.”

Thinking back to what happened, guilt set in. The last people he saw must’ve been them. “Where are they now?” he asked.

“The mess hall, having their lunch.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

He began to swing his legs over the bed before Manuela tutted, walking over to push him back on the pillows. “Hm? Who said you could leave? You’re stuck on bed rest for the rest of the day. Doctor’s orders.”

“But—”

“No buts. I don’t want you fainting in the hallways again.”

“Professor—” he tried again.

“Another word from you and the prescription will change to two days.”

He pursed his lips.

She glanced at him, smiling. “Focus on recovering, won’t you? Your housemates will feel better if you’re back to normal sooner than later.”

He nodded, not knowing what else to say. Or do, for that matter. Knowing he slept for nineteen hours straight, he wasn’t sleepy anymore. But he had a feeling if he asked the professor for something to keep him busy, she’d make him stay here longer than he needed to.

He could count sheep, he supposed. Try to reach a thousand, or something.

As he was about to begin, there was a knock on the door. He couldn’t tell who it was, but Manuela seemed to be expecting it. As she answered the door, she said, “You all ate quickly.”

“Yes, we couldn’t sit still.” His ears perked up. The voice was familiar. Mercedes? “How is he doing now?”

She thought about it, then motioned towards him. “I think it’s easier if you take a look for yourself.”

Someone gasped. “What?” That was Ashe, who slipped under Manuela to peek inside. “Does that mean it’s gotten worse? Is he—? Oh! He’s awake!”

And with that, the rest of the Blue Lions clambered into the room.

“He is?”

“Thank the gods…”

“I told you he was going to be okay!”

“Yeah, but if he wasn’t being an idiot in the first place—”

“Quiet. His headache just got better.” That shut them up. “You’re more than welcome here,” Manuela said, “but don’t aggravate him. Else I’ll kick you all out.”

“Yes, Professor.”

She shook her head, letting out a short laugh. “As long as you understand. Well then, children, I’ll be in my office. Call me if anything happens. And remember: no noise.”

As soon as she left, Ashe turned to Dimitri and stage whispered, “You sure you’re okay, Chief?”

He nodded. This time, it didn’t make him feel like throwing up. “Positive.”

“You should’ve told us you were sick,” Mercedes chastised. “What would have happened if Dedue wasn’t there to find you?”

He shuffled in the bed. “Well,” he muttered, “for starters, I wasn’t planning on fainting.”

“That is besides the point.” She sighed. “Please, we all care about you. Take better care of yourself.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about all those chores you do?” Sylvain chimed in. “We didn’t realize you did them all by yourself. You’ve done a lot for us. We want to do something for you too.”

Everyone nodded. He opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he saw the earnestness in their eyes. It reminded him of himself, how he felt when he worked for the sake of his housemates. So he stared for a moment before saying, “Okay.”

“…Okay?”

“I admit I overworked,” he said, “taking in all those responsibilities at once. I guess I’ve gotten used to doing everything by myself. But you’re right. And I do trust you. As the leader of the Blue Lions, I’ve seen how hardworking and disciplined you all are.”

They looked at each other.

“So does that mean…?” Ingrid asked.

“Yeah. No more pushing myself to the limit. I’ll ask for help.” He cracked a smile. “I’m proud to have you as my friends.”

The solemn atmosphere broke out into exuberance, as they all expressed their relief in different ways. Mostly, through excited chatter and tight hugs. The wind rushed out of his lungs as they gathered in for a group hug.

“H-hey, having said that, I’m still sick.” He tried to speak up, but his words were drowned out by everyone else as they began splitting responsibilities between themselves. It didn’t help that his voice was still weaker than usual. “Can you all settle down a bit? It’s getting noisy. Guys? Guys?”

Omake:

From inside her office, Manuela could hear them as clear as day. Footsteps thundered People cheered. Laughter echoed. Did they forget her warning already? She wouldn’t be surprised if they broke something in the chaos.

Still, listening to them and all their enthusiasm—"rock, paper, scissors for who gets to help tend the stables!“—she shook her head and chuckled. I guess I’ll let it slide this time.

[asks are open!]

[enniewritesathing]

It’s discussion time~ (putting this under a cut bc of length)

So... a LOT of things happened. The snow storm, John hunting and killing some deer, Brian finding John again, THE BEAR, and the ending.

I’ll be honest, at first, I was worried I wasn’t gonna be able to pull this particular part off. I had to do some serious searching; I thought maybe it was too ambitious because I didn’t find too much of anything and I was ready to scrap the idea. Especially the bear(s)! Shoutout to @dravenxivuk for pointing me in the right direction with her bear cc, and linking me to the @sg5150‘s standing bear. The third I found on my own after thinking about ‘who else would make this?’ and they luckily had a version that was ‘dead’. Without this, it wouldn’t have been possible.

I had to look for some deer too, and that was even harder somehow because all that came up was facepaint CC and all of that. And lo and behold, I found it and what luck, they were in various positions like grazing.

Logistics out of the way, this was a good part.

John’s out in this snowstorm and he’s hungry. He hasn’t eaten in two, maybe three days. Turning burns a lot of calories and that very first thought after is having to eat something. Anything. The lycan doesn’t care what it is. When he was feasting on the heart, he briefly questions himself. Kinda like the Snickers commercial “You’re not you when you’re hungry”, and maybe a glimpse that y’know, he’s not that mindless. I thought about skipping the part about him eating the heart and just having sort of a heavily implied thing, but... nah, I had this heart cc for a while and dammit, I was gonna work it into something. Is it gross? Absolutely. But hey, gotta eat. (Apparently, heart is super nutritrious anyway, and I honestly think that he was saving that deliciousness for last on purpose, lol).

Oh! And while I’m thinking about this, John’s whole look. His hair is loose and wild. I know it doesn’t look like it; I wish there’s more? messy hair cc. He looks less human than when we last saw him. In this part, he shows a lot more of his teeth, mainly as a warning sign. (Not because, y’know teef.) There’s a stark contrast between him and Brian.

Speaking of Brian? Man. Damn, he really did it. He didn’t have much of a plan going in, but when John was acting up, he stayed cool. He set the rules without were!John knowing and he won. Mostly. I alluded back in Part 2? that Brian has dealt with the worst patients and having this super ability to talk them down into calmness. He let him have his little fit. Intimidation? Posturing? Please. And he even told him he wasn’t gonna do shit! Who does that? And he stared were!John down. If that’s one thing you don’t do, is stare an animal down. But he did it. In a calm, flat voice is he lying, and gives were!John time to really process that question. And when he does, he’s suddenly ashamed.

Brian knew that he had to be truthful and be sure, but he also had to drive his points down. Show that there will be terrible consequences if he continues to do what he’s doing. He does it in a calming way that were!John doesn’t interrupt. He’s listening for once and, he is much amicable, if showing actual remorse.

When asked about the mark, were!John answers. It’s brief and doesn’t get into it, but he does tell him that Brian is his mate. He calls the mark ‘sacred’, so that shit is serious and he knows the ramifications of this; and decides that because of how he’s acted toward Brian, it’s not a good idea to be near him. He also points out that he is is fully aware of Brian’s relationship with his human side. It’s almost as if he wants Brian to reject him because of this. But, Brian doesn’t. He’s come here for the both of them -- the John he knows, but also, this John, the lycan John. He loves them that much to make this journey in austere conditions, just to bring them back to safety. 

There’s a brief moment that John is human again. They ask each other if they’re okay, assuring each other. John apologizes and Brian tells him not to worry, and asks for forgiveness. Without missing a beat, Brian accepts before were!John regains control. Were!John does want to comfort Brian, kissing and even nuzzling his hand, but... he can’t. He tells Brian that it’s almost over and will return to normal, but for now, he can’t come back with him. With that, they break away.

They’re both heartbroken, but at least Brian knows John is okay. They’re both okay.

AND THEN THE BEAR SCENE!

This was my favorite part to work on because this is where I decided, let’s have some crazy shit to happen. Might as well. Brian is right, he should have heard that big ass bear stalking him. That bear? HUGE. I wanted to find a sound file of a howl, but I couldn’t find one. It just sounds deep. I don’t know what compelled me to find the cracked floor cc, but I did and it looks great. were!John jumping in is the defining moment -- in a three point stance no less. 

He is very willing to put his life on the line and even die for Brian. He vows to protect him and won’t let anything harm him. This is also true for the human side of John, so this can also be read as both sides of him declaring this. He asks Brian if he can make up, to atone for his actions before charging off.

I am glad the first person camera is a thing now because I wouldn’t have gotten those two shots of Brian losing consciousness.

The bear? Oh, it’s dead. It’s very dead. John killed the hell out of it, but not without a high cost. He probably broke some bones and lost a lot of blood, but he did what he sworn to do and that was to protect Brian. He doesn’t think of anything else except... well, surviving. 

When Brian wakes up, he sees John bloodied, possibly broken... he doesn’t know if he’s still alive.

So, next part we shall see what happens. :)