#bc i would love to. stop being afraid constantly

[fagdykefrank]

Christ alive. Im so mad

[fun-esta]

[hannieehaee]

can u do how svt members act during their girlfriend's first time, please? sorry for my bad english

18+ / mdi

their first time with their virgin s/o

content: established relationship implied, smut, mentions of penetrative sex, reader is a virgin, mentions of losing virginity, etc.

wc: 724

a/n: such a cute concept omg i hope u like it!!!

masterlist

seungcheol -

goes crazy at the thought of being your first but holds back to prevent scaring you off. plans your first time to the t, wanting to make it as loving as humanly possible. sensual in the way he undresses you, kisses you, gets you ready and eventually makes love to you. would have to constantly muffle groans at the pleasure you so effortlessly gave him.

jeonghan -

coo's and praises you constantly. treats you like royalty, teasing you but also overwhelming you with his touches. drives you to the edge of losing your mind many times before taking it all away with a wicked laugh. super soft during it all, but still tortures you with pleasure you'd never felt before.

joshua -

the epitome of a gentleman. seduces you for days until you finally fall into his arms and beg for him to take your virginity. touches you in places you didn't know could bring pleasure until driving you into desperation. slow and attentive when it comes to actually making love to you.

jun -

so nervous aaahhh!!!! but he's an absolute gentleman and prioritizes you over everything so he pushes any nerves aside to make your first time as perfect as possible. has to hold back from cumming the moment he sees you naked for the first time, but manages to make the experience perfect for you.

soonyoung -

will try not to show it but he'd be soooo anxious to be your first time. sometimes his emotions get the best of him, so he'd be afraid that his lust would be too obvious. would still be super soft with you, becoming instantly infatuated with your naked form.

wonwoo -

would be so soft and attentive to you, never letting his hands stray away from you. kisses every inch of your body with murmured praise into your skin. your pleasure absolutely comes first, so he'd prolong his own to prioritize yours. goes at your pace and holds himself back to make you feel as comfortable and loved as possible.

jihoon -

visibly nervous and fidgety, but super sweet to you. stops every five seconds to ask for permission before making any move, then proceeding to ask you if you were okay or if it felt good. loses his mind the moment he feels you, but still holds back and remains a gentleman throughout.

seokmin -

so so so so thankful to be the one you decided to give your virginity to. literally worships you every second in which he holds you in his arms. anxious about it all but pushes it aside to prioritize your pleasure and comfort. literally the best person to take your virginity bc he takes it to heart and gives you his soul.

mingyu -

prepares the perfect night for you, cooking a romantic candlelit meal and grooming himself perfectly for seduction. guides you through it all and teaches you everything there is to know without judgment. provides you with the greatest pleasures possible, creating the most loving atmosphere for you.

minghao -

he's the perfect person to lose your virginity to lol he'd be so loving and such a gentleman throughout it all. whispers praise and compliments into your ears and marks your body with love bites. draws out the experience for hours by making you cum with every other mean possible before actually taking your virginity.

seungkwan -

super nervous about it!!! does not want to risk disappointing you or somehow hurting you so he's just a nervous wreck. in the end, he lets himself relax by communicating with you during it all, wanting nothing more than to provide you with a loving and memorable experience. would maybe make some jokes during it whilst also worshiping you.

vernon -

is mostly casual about it, but is still slightly nervous to be the one to take your virginity. would be super nice and go at your pace, dropping a few jokes to make you feel comfortable and at ease. immediately entranced by how pretty you are and driven by the lust you cause him.

chan -

super cheesy about it all. plans a day with you in which you'd do it and creates the perfect ambience with rose petals, wine and candles. makes love to the entirety of your body with his lips before finally fucking you. the type to cuddle and hold you the entirety of the night.

[star-girl69]

i think aphrodite kid reader x clarisse is simply just better??? like the trope is just superior??? like, we have clarisse who is tough, and mean and one of the strongest people at camp, then we have reader who is kind and compassionate and really doesn’t care all that much about fighting. so naturally, clarisse is super protective and treats reader like a princess?? how could people dislike it 😔😔

no exactly and i actually must write about this - basically this is just all about the little things clarisse does for her perfect princess angel daughter of aphrodite gf (me!!!!!!)

okay as payment for my absence please accept some shitty headcanons I LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE

she’s just always DOING THINGS FOR YOU

she’s so perceptive and she always knows exactly what you want and need even if you don’t know it yourself

like if you like wearing high heels one) clarisse genuinely wonders what is wrong w you

she sees no practicality in them bc there isn’t lol

but also she’s like omg???? MY GF feels safe enough around me to wear shoes she can’t run in???? WHAT JOY!!!!!!!!!

and you’ll come back to your cabin being all ugh omg my feet hurt so bad laying on the bed and putting your feet UP

and clarisse is like “well i could have told you that”

excuse me????

“don’t get me wrong baby you look gorgeous and i love you wearing heels but it’s your funeral”

“DIE”

she just laughs and takes your shoes off

she’ll continue to bully you as she’s literally massaging your feet like ok girl yeah we see you

clarisse is also a MENACE about making sure you eat

“did you eat today?”

“babe you SAW me at lunch”

“just making sure….”

you’re just so kind and amazing and clarisse loves you so much but you are not the best at fighting!

she is constantly stressed when you’re not by her side

bc no one loves you like her who will protect you 💔💔💔💔

when someone takes advantage of you she gets so PISSED OFF

bc it’s not like someone is beating you up it’ll be like someone is using you as their personal therapist or smth and you’re just like “pls go speak to an actual professional wtf 😭😭😭”

and she’s so pissed off bc WHY IS THIS BITCH PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TORTURING HER GIRL??????

she’s not afraid to beat people up for you and actually enjoys it!

anyways, clarisse is also a koala bear

and an emotionally stunted caveman

she’s not good with her words so these actions are all she has to show you that she loves you

idk if y’all have noticed but clar rarely saying ily to y/n bc it’s my personal headcanon that she has such a hard time saying those words. she shows you she loves you but for some reason it’s just so hard to get the words out. (…BC SHE IS AN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED CAVEMAN)

so she quickly adapts to do all these little things

if you’re walking down a flight of stairs trust she is holding your hand

QUEEN of opening jars for you

if you’re not feeling well or you’re tired or just feeling lazy she’ll bully someone into doing your chores for you

also this bitch is NOT afraid to stand up for you and make sure you get what you deserve.

like that one meme

“UM… she said NO PICKLES… you fucking dumbasses…”

“CLARISSE 😭😭😭”

also like in “better than revenge” she loves to watch you do your makeup

finds it so fascinating that you can only get PRETTIER

like she’s okay at makeup but you can do that shit perfectly like standing on your head

you make it seem so effortless

she’s not a HUGE makeup girly but sometimes she’ll let you just go crazy

so you can sit on top of her….. that one sapphic meme yes…..

also she’s constantly bragging about you

“yeah… i have the prettiest gf in camp… y’all are just losers what can i say”

ofc if anyone were to agree w her she would go insane

“yeah y/n is so pretty”

“um ok yeah you don’t have to say it i say it enough….”

even if one of your siblings gives you a compliment she’s like HOLD THE FUCK ON- then she remembers THATS YOUR SIBLING ITS OK and she’s like oh this is so embarrassing.

will she stop? no ofc not

she’s constantly telling you how pretty you are. beautiful. gorgeous. exquisite. all the words

loves kissing you all over

KISSES YOUR HAND 🤭🤭

anyways going back to the clarisse koala bear agenda that got away from me

she’s just always touching you

hand on the small of your hand guiding you somewhere

hand around your waist

SITTING IN HER LAP AT CAMPFIRES

no matter what type of hair you have she’s obsessed w it. if you have pin straight hair she’s so obsessed w the fact that you don’t need a huge curl routine like her, finds it fascinating

if you do have curls she loves doing a curl routine together

whatever whatever type of hair you have she’s obsessed with it and will wash it for you if you want

so soft and lovingly like a more of a scalp massage than a hair washing

will brush your hair for you, braid it for you, anything you like just OBSESSED

she loves when you like sit on top of a picnic table and then she gets to sit in between your legs on the bench thinks it’s so so fun and so so silly

she LOVESSSSS sleeping w you OBVI.

on top of you, you on top of her, she’s a koala bear. like entirely wrapped around you

partially bc she is as aforementioned a koala bear and partly bc she is overprotective even in her sleep

if you move in the middle of the night even just a little bit

she’s a super light sleeper i feel like

always on the guard fr ✊

a little bit better when you’re there tho

so if you move in the middle of the night she’ll just like caress your hair and kiss your cheek and try to shush you back to sleep

like bitch you’re still asleep have you never heard of ADJUSTING? MOVING? SHIFTING?

hope you’re not one of those people who has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night bc with clarisse that will stop

you can’t abandon her even for 2 minutes even for basic bodily functions like you just can’t it’s so inconsiderate to her… 💔

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[sk3tch404]

Yandere Weeping Clown Thoughts!!

CW: Nothing too bad, just your usual creeper, manipulation, and analysis(?) on his character. Tbh hes so yandere coded that everything blurs together atp (and I'm using "yandere coded" sort of loosely bc that makes me sound like a yandere enabler or smth, which like, lol no but in fiction yeah funne). Called him Joker bc it was easier to use/remember than Weepy, and also bc they called them that in all the lore drop so 🤷‍♀️

A/n: Just saw the new Hullabaloo lore drop and IDV has taken me back into its clutches. He is so yandere material 🫶 Proof read enough to go "that's postable."

Joker is quite sensitive to his darlings perception of him. He always tries to do the right thing, tries to please you so that when you smile at him, that strangely unfamiliar warmth spreads through his chest. A smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, stringing his lips up as if he were a puppet. And a puppet of your design he shall be if you wished it so.

Joker is definitely a worshipping sort of yandere. He'll do most of anything for his darling if it made them just a teeny bit closer. Any progress is better than no progress. Even if it means visiting you in the dead of night to "check on you," or often "bumping into you" in places that you frequent at the manor. He'll stop bothering you if you reject his advances, but he'll come back around sooner or later. Joker doesn't want you to hate him, but he also doesn't want to be away from you! Although you may say some hurtful things like, "It's making me uncomfortable, sorry," or, "Can you leave me alone for a while," he knows deep down that if he teeters around the boundaries you set for long enough, he can wiggle his way through and to your heart. At least, that's what he hopes.

Despite his subservient nature to his darling, Joker isn't so obedient around others. He has his more introverted traits for sure, but his sensitivity to anger is fragile, especially when it comes to you. Joker doesn't have many qualms about taking a stand for you or himself if it came to it. He wants to be your protector, so he isn't very afraid to say something if he feels the need to. It can become quite the scene if the other party doesn't back down, making either you or someone else the mediator of the debacle. It's exhausting to have to manage your persistent follower, but it's better to handle a situation rather than let it spiral out of control, leaving the consequences of his mental break to you.

With his fragility also comes his keen eye for any chances to take advantage of a situation. Joker isn't very intimidating physically or feared for being calculating, but he is usually dismissed, and that makes for perfect cover if he plays his cards right. Framing people for his crimes can be a walk in the park depending on the situation, and manipulating those weaker than him isn't something he wholeheartedly takes pride in, but if it's for you, if it's for you, the singular most important person and one he adores most in his rotten life, then he's happy to oblige. If it wins you over in the end, then that's all that matters, right?

Joker will try to convince his darling to stay by his side and will get more desperate depending on the circumstances. He's not a kidnapper type, more of an idealist. Not to confuse that with delusional though. Joker knows full well how you probably feel about your strained relationship, but if he doesn't try now, he'll never get to be with you, and that's unacceptable. He wants to live a romantic and sweet life with you day in and day out, so he'd hate to see you miserable and locked up. If he can't love you the way he wants to, then what would be the point?

Even with that, Joker isn't above guilt tripping or petty manipulation tactics like that. He really can be unpredictable at times and can become very dangerous if his darling constantly shows no interest. Although he is a romantic idealist in his mind with you, he's also the type to slip into the "if I can't have you, no one can" mentality. He might just end up hurting his darling, but it won't be anything too drastic by the time it happens. Joker would feel terrible, terrified, and utterly disgusted with himself after seeing your petrified state. He'd drop to his knees and attempt to mutter consoling words, somewhat even begging for your forgiveness.

"Y- Y/n, no, oh no, no... Y/n, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. Don't cry, I didn't mean to. I truly am sorry. I had just- I wasn't thinking straight. I would never hurt you. If only you hadn't done this, then... No, just come back to me Y/n."

He is still quite demanding even while apologizing, which would make your fear even greater. Joker doesn't want to force his darling's hand, but if it really came down to it, he'd give his darling a grade A verbally manipulative beat down. He'll use anything and everything against you so that all else but him looks ugly in that moment. Sure being at the receiving end of his unstable anger was horrifying, but be honest with yourself, were it not for him who has saved you countless times in both matches and inside the manor, you would be long dead by now. Anything is on the table, anything just so you will come back to him once more. He has little to no guilt in it, just the fear that he will seriously break if you're still in a right state of mind. So, in turn, he'll unfortunately have to break you first.

[querenciasturniolo]

headcannons ⮕ m.s

a/n: 75% boyfriend headcannons, 25% plus sized reader headcannons, but i definitely did my best !! @rainsoakedphoenix , i hope you enjoy, love 🫶🏻💓

❥ matt in the talking stage is very quick to reply, and always has something to add to the conversation. he’s flirty, but subtle about it, not wanting you to think he’s moving too fast, or give you the wrong impression.

❥ this dude is an absolute open BOOK. any question you ask him, he answers openly and honestly.

❥ he hates small talk, absolutely despises it. would rather talk about incredibly deep, philosophical things instead of a simple “how are you ?”

❥ would ask you “what are we ?” instead of just asking you out, idk man, dude’s complicated.

❥ he would not give a fuck about you being plus sized, not a single one. he likes you bc you’re a good person, and nothing else matters to him in the slightest than that.

❥ “get out of here, you’re perfect just how you are.”

❥ hands on your hips and waist when you’re out in public. i wouldn’t say he’s a fan of pda, but he isn’t one to not have a hold of you somewhere.

❥ in a more private setting ? dude is cuddly and needy as HELL. constantly holding you, whether it’s just your hand, his arm around your shoulder, standing behind you with his hands on your hips, shoulders, waist, you name it.

❥ on days where you’re insecure, he’s quick to snap you out of it. he can tell whether you need reassurance or a distraction without you even having to explain.

❥ HUGE on reading body language and tone of voice, can tell immediately if something is wrong just by the way you’re breathing.

❥ pet names for days. “baby”, “babe”, “love”, “beautiful”, “bunny” (fight me, i dare you), dude will throw in “toots” in an awful boston accent, just to make you laugh and see you roll your eyes

❥ whiny, whiny, W H I N Y. constantly asking for cuddles, kisses, hugs, scratches, everything.

❥ huge words of affirmation guy, never gets tired of hearing that you love him or your thanks for him doing something for you. essentially, he’s a giant puppy dog.

❥ always has his hand on your thigh when he’s driving oh my GOD

❥ instead of physical gifts for anniversaries, he’d give you love letters (i’m sobbing)

❥ dude is not afraid to post you anywhere, absolutely ADORES showing you off, even if it’s just of you sleeping in his lap, or an underview of you watching the tv and playing with his hair

❥ “what ? i can’t show off what’s mine ?” (kill me)

❥ supportive of you in every single aspect, not once has he ever looked at you and made you feel like you couldn’t do what you wanted

❥ lowkey possessive, but not in a toxic way ! just wants you all to himself, and gets whiny when you have to go or you have other plans and can’t come over. it’s mostly a joke, and he’d never ever do it if it actually upset you, he just truly does want you around all of the time.

❥ HUGE on setting boundaries early in the relationship, wants to know your ‘hell yes’s and ‘hell no’s IMMEDIATELY

❥ says “i love you” first, no ifs, ands or buts.

❥ “i love you, ya know ?”

❥ is blushing the entire time he’s trying to get it out, but relaxes when he sees your grin

❥ refuses to “argue”, dude only has constructive conversations where the two of you find a solution

❥ “it’s us against the problem, babe. not us against each other. what’s going on ?”

❥ three quick pecks every time one of you asks for a kiss, sometimes more, but never less, and he will absolutely pout if you ever short him.

❥ “what was that ? give me a real kiss.”

❥ some nights when his energy is low, and his social battery is almost completely gone, he’ll just lay with you with his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.

❥ he’s a little snippy on bad days, but he always catches himself.

❥ “i’m sorry, love. i shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

❥ B A N T E R, he’s a shit, for sure

❥ “oh yeah ? wanna say that to my face ?” (think lori and noah from tiktok)

❥ on days where your body image is bad, he stops what he’s doing and takes the time to just hold you, and reassure you that your body is beautiful.

❥ “look at me, hey. i love you, every single part of you.”

❥ star gazing dates, midnight drives to nowhere, movie nights in the living room, nights where the two of you just stare at the ceiling and enjoy each other’s company.

❥ “penny for your thoughts ?” “what are you thinkin’ about over there ?” “what’s on your mind, beautiful ?”

❥ never shies away from mentioning you on the podcast/in videos.

❥ “oh my god, my girlfriend loves that.” “holy shit, me and y/n were just talking about this !”

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

born to die - m. murdock

a/n: IM NOT DEAD i am very busy with finals but this has been rattling around the old noggin for a while now. i took a lot of inspiration from @ellephlox 's fic strawberry rhubarb which i 100% reccomend bc its better than most fics including this one! hope you enjoy! as always reblogs and comments are always appreciated! <3 warnings: oh boy. torture (cutting, burning) some sexually suggestive talk (nothing happens but it's not consensual) readers dad abused her, nightmares, lots of major character death (but not permeant) ANGST!!! but with a happy ending! kidnapping, medical stuff, cursing, and if i missed anything, let me know! word count: 4.8k summary: as matt murdock's wife, your life is rather full of surprises. getting kidnapped by wilson fisk takes the cake as the worst one. pairing: matt murdock x wife!reader now playing: born to die - lana del rey "choose your last words, this is the last time/'cause you and i, we were born to die"

You would think after patching him up too many times to count, five years without him, and countless sleepless nights worrying if he was alive, you would think you’d be used to Matt Murdock and his world of surprises.

And then you get kidnapped, so maybe you’re not so immune to surprises.

It’s really such a shame too, because you’re storming out of the apartment, too angry to take notice of your surroundings.

Silly, foolish, ditzy you.

Because it isn’t like Matt hasn’t told you time and time again that you need to be careful, especially when you go out alone at night. But he’s so angry that he doesn’t even think about the potential dangers of Hell’s Kitchen at three a.m. when Daredevil has been tucked away for the night and Matt Murdock comes back out to play.

He’s been taking more and more patrols because with Fisk being out of prison he can’t help but be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

How silly he was to think that maybe he could have it all—A successful law firm, good friends and a loving wife.

Silly, foolish, ditzy Matt.

But after a week of nonstop patrols, you’re both fed up and tired, and above all, you’re yearning for each other. Neither of you allow yourselves to be totally happy all the time. It would just make everything too easy.

So, after yelling at each other over, what? Patrols? Cases? Burnt dinners? You’re freezing on the streets, and you get about five blocks before you stop and rub your eyes.

This is dumb, you rationalize. Of course, you’re both stressed out and tired, but you’ve gotten through rougher times before, and you both made an oath. To each other, in front of his God, to love each other no matter what.

You realize you left your wedding ring on the table, the ghost of the metal around your finger haunting you. You were dumb for leaving and Matt was dumb for telling you to go. You’re made for each other.

You turn around to go back to your shared apartment, and then, someone grabs you from behind. Your first instinct is to yell for your husband, but you don’t get the chance to before you’re knocked out, by what you can only guess to be a gun or maybe a large fist.

• • •

You wake up in this dingy room, the lighting not suitable for much of anything except to make you afraid. The set up is almost comical and in a fucked up away, stereotypical for a kidnapping. You’re tied up to a chair, and the lights shine only bright enough so you can see shadows and rats scurrying along.

The air is this weird musk of salt and earth, and you realize you’re near the docks, and that’s about all you know about your current location.

Your head is still pounding from whatever it was you were hit with, but you can see another chair a few feet from you and a wooden table with various weapons laying on it. You don’t feel good about this one. Also on the table is an old school record player. You have no idea what the intention is with it.

You try to keep your cool, knowing that wherever you wander, your husband will not be very far off. That whatever is happening, he will be coming to find you no matter how upset he is for whatever it was you were fighting about earlier.

And then, out of the shadows, there he is. 

But he’s too big to be Matt, and he has a man standing next to him.

Frank, maybe?

And then you realize who this man is.

He’s Wilson Fisk, the kingpin who has done nothing but torture and kill people, shoving it in Matt’s face for years. Matt only met you after Fisk was put back in prison, and you know at some point in the five-year blip without Matt, he had escaped prison.

So, this is the first time you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Fisk. When he meets your eye, you do nothing but stare.

“Good evening, Mrs. Murdock. It’s a shame we must meet under these circumstances.” He tells you, taking a seat in front of you. His henchman stands behind the chair.

“It’s regretful to say the least.” You tell him, not intending to make any more of an enemy out of him than Matt already has, not right now.

“I wanted to congratulate you on your wedding. I remember my own, it was a rather special day.”

You know that was the day Matt took him down. The night that he, Karen and Foggy took him down.

“I’ve heard stories. It seemed like a lovely day.”

“You’re a much more gracious guest than your counterpart.”

“Well, I’m sure people say similar things about you and yours.”

He seems to consider this for a moment before nodding.

“You’re probably right about that, Mrs. Murdock. I wanted to tell you I’m terribly sorry these are the circumstances in which we are finally introduced. But it seems Mr. Murdock has been interested in finding out more about my endeavors. And you see, we simply cannot have that. I made a promise not to hurt Miss Page or Mr. Nelson but it seems you were not included in that deal.” Of course not, it had been a long time before you showed up. “So, you’re how we’re going to send Mr. Murdock a message.”

Huh.

So, this is how you die.

Well, you might as well go out with a bang.

“You see, Mrs. Murdock, When I was a boy—”

“I’m going to stop you, Mr. Fisk, because your sob story is rather dull. I know who you are. You were beaten by your father, just like I was. The difference is that I don’t use that as an excuse to murder my way to the top of the food chain. And you can torture me, assault me, whatever you feel you need to do. But if you think for a second that I’ll forget who’s coming to stop you, you are sorely mistaken. And if you think he’ll ever stop trying to find me, you do not know my husband very well.”

Fisk stares at you for a while, his gaze hardening into a glare.

“You’re right. You do know who I am. Because we’re rather similar.” He stands up and nods to the man nearby. “If Murdock can hear her far from here, make sure he hears her screaming.”

Then Wilson Fisk walks away, and you are left with the sickening gaze of a man who has no good intentions.

 The man goes to the record player and starts to play a song you recognize quickly as “Fly Me To The Moon” by Frank Sinatra. As he does this, he speaks,

“Hello, Mrs. Murdock. I’m John.” You stay quiet, and he just enjoys the song.

He picks up a knife from the table and goes to you, this grin on his face that makes you sick.

But you remember a trick from not only your childhood, but also from Frank who told you the key to remaining strong under torture—Distraction.

You stare straight ahead, trying not to mind as the man runs the knife over your skin. You think about Matt. You imagine him in his wedding suit, the smile he had on as you approached him down that aisle. You think about when he asked you to marry him, and—

A sharp pain slashes down your arm, cutting open the shirt you’re wearing. You yell in pain, before moving in to try and take deep breaths.

You can do this. Matt will be here soon.

You continue to breathe through the anxiety and the pain, trying not to think too hard about when John hums along to Sinatra’s voice, guiding his knife around your skin. Another cut finds itself on your shoulder.

This goes on for a while, with the classic song looping over and over again. John never seems to tire of it, no matter how badly you will for it to end. As the song ends in one particularly good loop, John hits your face hard, and your nose starts bleeding.

You try to think of Matt’s voice. You don’t listen to John’s torments, knowing it will only egg him on further. You just want him to burn at that point.

By the end of… Countless Frank Sinatra serenades, you have cuts littered around your body, dry blood on your face from your nose and tears running down your face. When he’s eventually done, two men cut you out from the chair and drag you along to a smaller, darker room. You are left in there with a small meal, and you just huddle against a corner, nearest a barred window out of your reach.

And then, you begin to speak for the first time since you saw Fisk.

“Matt,” You whisper, “I’m by the docks.” You tell him, not sure if he can even hear you. “Please, I’m sorry for everything, please just come find me..” You mumble, too tired and aching to try and do more.

• • •

The next day, or what you presume to be the next day since you have no way to tell how much time has passed, you’re woken up by a loud banging on the door of your.. cell..?

The same two men enter and drag you back to the room, where John waits for you.

“How are you feeling today, Mrs. Murdock?” He asks.

You glare.

“Fuck you.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“What happened to the polite young woman Mr. Fisk and I met yesterday?”

You’re filled with unprecedented anger.

“I said, Fuck you!”

He wastes no time, grabbing a lighter off the table and starting the record player again. Once more, Frank Sinatra’s voice fills the room, and you’re pretty sure once you’re done with John, and then Fisk, you’ll bring Sinatra back from the dead just to kill him again.

You’ve never really been a violent person, but you suspect that it lives in the worst parts of you, just as it did with your own father. You’re much better at keeping it all at bay. Besides, it does you no good to be violent while you have Matt. He’s plenty angry for the both of you.

Oh, Matt..

This is how time passes for you. While John tortures you, burning you or carving into your skin, you think about how great it will be to choke the life out of the singer… And you think about Matt. When you’re in your dark little room, you talk to him. Even if he can’t hear you, you must hope that he’s looking for you.

• • •

Days pass. How long have you been here?

One night, you have the following dream:

It starts out as a memory. A memory of you and Matt. You’re lying in bed with him, and the sunlight is hitting his face just right. You love this memory, it’s one you recall often. He just has this angelic look to him.

Yeah, most people who encounter him, especially at night, meet the devil. But occasionally, you get glimpses of the angel you know he is. He’s sleeping, and you think in this state, he is the most relaxed you’ll ever see him.

Then, before your eyes, the dream shifts and you’re in this black void, on the ground.

Foggy, Karen, Frank, and Matt stand around you. You run to Matt but hit a clear shield keeping him from you. You bang on the glass, well, maybe it’s glass, you don’t know. You try to scream, but your voice never reaches your ears. You begin to look around, looking for a way out.

An eerie version of ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ plays as you glance over to Foggy and watch in horror as his body begins to turn to ash, just like Matt and Karen did when they were blipped. You scream, banging against the shield, but your screams are silent.

You glance back and see the same thing happening to Frank. No, no, no! It was never supposed to happen this way! Frank and Foggy, they lived! They got their time! They don’t die like this!

And then Karen starts too. You start sobbing, not wanting her to go. You had missed her so much, and you only just got her back. But soon enough, she’s gone too, and you’re left in front of your husband.

His hand comes up to rest on the forcefield and he frowns softly.

He says your name gently, and then adds, “You know it couldn’t last forever, right?”

And then just as quickly as before, he is gone again. You remain there in that void, sobbing and screaming though no noise reaches you. This can’t be it! You just got him back, you needed him! You couldn’t take being alone for another five years… Or more…

The dream transforms and you’re in this grand ballroom. People are dancing elegantly and you’re in this.. obnoxious ball gown. But across the room, you can see Matt. He’s dressed in an all-black suit, with a red masquerade mask covering his face. The mask has little red devil horns on it.

Now, the orchestra plays their rendition of Sinatra’s romantic classic. And you step towards Matt, attempting to make your way towards him, only to be met with a masked man, beginning to twirl you around.

You jump from man to man, until eventually, you’re dancing with a man in an all-white suit, a man you quickly recognize as Fisk. No matter how hard you try to escape his grasp, he holds on tighter. The two of you stop dancing now, amid the crowd of moving bodies.

Fisk grabs your chin and tilts it in Matt’s direction, just in time for you to see him bowing to another woman, kissing the back of her hand. Your eyes widen and you think, this can’t be real.

“When I kill you,” Fisk says, “He’ll move on. You’re easily replaceable, Mrs. Murdock.”

And then, in an instant, the woman with Matt pulls out a dagger and plunges it deeply into his abdomen. It’s then that the other dancers, besides you, Fisk, Matt, and this mystery woman, disappear. Matt turns to you and falls to his knees, clutching his stomach.

He tries to crawl to you, blood seeping onto his hands and the beautiful ballroom floor. He yells your name, and the woman stabs him again from behind, and you watch as your husband dies. You hear him screaming, hear him yelling your name. But Wilson Fisk keeps you in place. You can do nothing but watch as Matt Murdock meets his end again, unable to save him. You start to scream, thrashing against Fisk, ready to claw your way to Matt.

You wake up screaming, the nightmare haunting you. A guard bangs on your door, yelling at you to keep it down.

It was just a nightmare, you tell yourself. Maybe Matt heard your screams.

Maybe he’s already dead.

You force yourself not to listen to the voice in your head that says that.

• • •

One day, Fisk visits again, only this time, He’s covered in blood. That damn song is still playing.

You just stare. They have long since stopped tying you up, recognizing that you no longer have the energy to try and fight back.  He has this sick grin on his face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Murdock.” You say nothing. “Have you been enjoying your stay with us?”

You glare.

“I hope Matt kills you when he gets here, because it will be a lot less painful for you if he does it instead of me.”

Mr. Fisk just laughs at this and tosses something at your feet. You get down off the chair to see what it is.

Your face goes pale with realization. You pick it up and slip it on your thumb, with it being too big for your other fingers. Matt’s wedding ring. You know it’s his, it has your name engraved in braille on the inside. How did he get this?

As if reading your mind, Fisk speaks again. “I took it off his body after I killed him.”

Your head shoots up to him. What did he say?

“No.” You deny. “Fuck off, I don’t—I don’t believe you.”

��Your husband is dead, Mrs. Murdock. I killed him with my bare hands because he was stupid enough to come after you. Your friends will mourn you and Matt Murdock for a while, and the city will come to the realization that Daredevil did nothing but harm. I win, Mrs. Murdock.”

You feel tears start to fill your eyes, and you realize, no. He hasn’t won because you’re still alive.

Maybe not for long, but you are.

You gather the rest of your energy and leap up, lunging at the large man covered in the man you love’s blood. And there’s a part of you that gets it. Okay, universe, you win. Most people don’t get a second chance like the two of you did. And now he’s dead, and soon you will be too. You can at least try to kill Fisk.

But you barely get a scratch in, yelling and screaming obscenities at him, as John grabs your arms from behind pulling you away. Fisk laughs and shakes his head again.

“It’s been lovely knowing you, Mrs. Murdock. I’m sorry you’ll have to die, you had so much potential. John, when you’re done doing whatever you’d like to her, kill her.” You hear him say it, but you’re blinded by rage, by grief.

John laughs behind you and forces you back into the chair, tying you back up once more. He looks at you, enraged and grief stricken, and just shakes his head.

“You and I are going to have a lot of fun.”

He leaves for a few minutes, and you realize this is the first time you’ve been left alone in this room. You tug at the knots and realize that while John is a gifted torturer, he’s not much of a knot tier.

So you manage to wiggle out of the rope, approaching the table in front of you. You don’t have much time. Okay, maybe you won’t be able to kill Fisk, but John will do. You take a golf club off the table in front of you and turn to the record player.

You begin to smash the thing in, angrily cursing at it as Frank Sinatra’s voice fades off into nothing. When the song ends, the lights turn off. And then, red flood lights turn on in their place.

A back up generator. Lovely. You think that your smashing of the record player couldn’t possibly make the whole building’s power go off, but you don’t really care at that moment.

You’re tired. You won’t make it far, but you need to try. You grasp the club and open the door, being greeted with a man you don’t recognize. You smack him in the face with the club hard enough for him to fall to the ground.

The red lighting adds an eerie tone to the hallways as you creep around, concussing various henchmen that Fisk has working for him. You don’t mean to kill these ones, only John.

But you’re running out of stamina, peeking around corners. And that’s when you see him. John is just standing there like he knows you’re there.

“Come out to play, Mrs. Murdock?” He calls, approaching the corner where you are waiting on the other side.

You focus on his footsteps, taking a swing around the corner when you know he’s close enough. You hear a sharp crack! As he falls, and you can’t see the blood in this lighting. Good. You begin to hit his head in, sobs mixing with yelling. You hate him. You want him to die before you’re killed.

But you don’t get the pleasure, because a pair of arms are pulling you off him, and you begin yelling.

“No!” You yelp. “No, Fuck you! Let go of me! Stop!” You think it’s another one of his goons, and you just want to be able to finish the job before you die. The figure forces you to drop the club. “Please, stop, don’t hurt me—”

But he’s saying your name and turning you around to see him. You know that voice.

“Sweetheart, hey, it’s just me—” He pants, his hands going to your cheeks. “It’s me, It’s just me. I’ve got you.”

And you can’t believe your eyes.

“Matt..?” You whimper, not able to believe it. “No, you’re dead, this has to be—”

And then, Matt does something he wouldn’t do for anyone who wasn’t his wife. He pulls off his helmet so you can see his face. Oh.

“I’m right here. I’ve got you.” He says softly, his thumb gently rubbing against your skin.

That’s when you start to sob, falling against him, no energy left to carry yourself. His arms wrap around you, and you say it again.

“He told me you were dead..”

“I know.. I’m sorry, I don’t know how he got my ring but we’ve gotta get you out of here.” He tells you.

You’re so tired. You’re slumping against him as you try to walk, the warmth radiating off his body just drawing you to sleep.

The last thing you hear before you fall asleep is Matt’s voice, begging you to stay awake.

• • •

You see flashes. Your parents, your dad. Nightmares of Fisk killing Karen, Foggy, Frank, and worst of all, Matt. You see John’s sickening grin on the body of spiders, and you’re chased by his cruel laughter.

But the dreams are filmier compared to what’s happening around you. You know Claire shows up at some point, and you’re thankful to her. Karen sits next to you sometimes, petting your hair, or sometimes it’s Foggy, talking your ear off.

You have fever dreams of Frank in full military gear, tormenting you.

“Not so tough now, huh, girl?” He teases. “You really thought you’d kill the big bad wolf? Solve all your boyfriend’s problems?”  

You say to him, “Husband, He’s my husband.”

• • •

Even in your dreams, where you were slashed and burned aches, and you long for the pain to end.

You wake up only once throughout these dreams, and it’s when Karen is playing music to try and calm you from your insistent nightmares.

Only one song snaps you out of it, and you hear it clear as day.

‘Fly me to the moon,” Sinatra sings, “Let me play among the stars,’

He only gets through a few more lines before you’re sitting up on the couch, screaming.

“No! Stop, please!” You cry, and in an instant, Matt’s arms are around you. “Matt, please, don’t let him hurt me, please! Please don’t die, don’t let him keep hurting me!” You beg, in a hazed, frenzied state.

“I’ve got you, No one’s going to hurt you..”

Karen turns off the music somewhere deep in the apartment.

“No..” You begin to grow tired in his arms again. “Matty, please.. You can’t die, please..” You whimper out, continuing to mumble out pleads as you fall back into your weird dream state.

• • •

You really wake up two days later. Matt’s hand is clasped over yours, and he’s just.. Sitting on the floor next to the couch, praying into your clasped hands.

Praying for what, you don’t know.

Your body aches. But something in you tells you you’re safe.

“Matt…?” You whisper gently, and his head shoots up.

“Hey..” He says softly, one hand leaving yours, coming up to brush your hair out of your face. “There she is..”

“You’re alive..”

He seems a little concerned you still had some doubts about this.

“I am. Fisk lied to you.. He never even touched me.” You nod.

“Did I kill him? The man you found me..”

“No. He’s just in a coma, I checked. He’ll be brought to justice.”

“I only wanted him dead when I thought you were too..” Because really, you would have nothing if Matt wasn’t there. Nothing to live for. When he was blipped away, you had the hardest time readjusting to life. Now you know if he died again, you’d probably go off the rails.

No love story is saved more than once. You used up all your luck. Now it will be doomed if he’s ever killed again.

“I know.” He said gently.

“How long have I been out? How long was I in there?”

“A week, and then you were out for four days here. They got you good, baby..” He says gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you earlier.”

You frown softly.

“You did find me though. That’s all that really matters anymore.” You know you’ll be nursing scars for a long time. Physical or not.

“Still..” He said gently, and he brings your hand up to kiss it gently. “And I’m sorry I told you to leave that night. I was just upset, but this past week and half.. I feel like I’ve been going crazy without you. No matter how mad at you I am, I never want to spend another night without holding you. Knowing that you could have been…” His voice breaks, and he just sighs, taking a moment to lean his head on your hand. “I love you, so much.” He kisses your palm again.

How are you so tired again? All you’ve done is talk to him, but it feels like you just ran a marathon.

“I love you. It’s why I married you. Because you and I, we were always meant to be with each other. No matter what.”

He smiles weakly and reaches over to the coffee table to grab something. He slips it on your finger and for the first time in over a week, your wedding ring is back where it belongs. You see Matt is wearing his. Your Matt. Your husband. The only one you were ever meant to be with.

“Did Claire patch me up? I remember her being here..” He nods softly.

“Yeah, we.. we really owe her one. She was a huge help..”

“Karen and Foggy were here… And Frank?”

“No, no, Frank’s still in Illinois, I think?” You nod softly. “You were mumbling to him, though. I heard you… you were telling him you had a husband.”

You would laugh if it didn’t hurt.

“He called you my boyfriend. I had to correct him.” You grin.

“That’s my girl.” He hums. Matt gently lifts you so you can sit up and drink some water. Then, he climbs onto the couch and brings you close. His arms wrap around your freshly wounded skin and you have a rare moment of gratefulness for his blindness.

You sit in silence for a while.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks gently.

You think about it all. The torture, the cuts, burns, the small room. Fisk’s laughter, John’s grin. But something sticks out to you.

“Fisk said I was just like him.”

“What?”

“We.. We grew up similar, Matt, I mean.. What if he’s right? What if the only thing separating him and I is one bad move?”

Your husband frowns and shakes his head.

“Sweetheart, you are the.. the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re the complete antithesis of Wilson Fisk. Yeah, you grew up like him, but you’re living proof that you don’t have to go down the path he did just because of his background. You and I both know that there will never be a world where you end up like him. Especially not with me.”

You find comfort with his words. Not only did you make every choice not to be like Fisk, but you must’ve also made all the right decisions if in the end, you ended up with Matt. Oh, it won’t be easy, you know that for sure. You’ll never be able to listen to Frank Sinatra, and your upcoming nights are filled with nightmares and hauntings.

But one day you’ll be okay. One day You’ll be able to sit in the silence without thinking about it. One day you’ll get the image of dead Matt out of your head. You’ve spent many nights wondering about who will go first, you or him.

And then you realize the best-case scenario is that the two of you die at the same time, never living another moment without each other.

How would there ever be a world where you and your husband weren’t with each other, even just for a moment?

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to their s/o doubting themselves in their relationship

requested by anon: So this is a very specific request and you don't have to do it if you're uncomfortable or do not like it/are uninspired by it. But how would they handle it if you're in a relationship with them but start doubting whether you're good enough for them? It's a bit sad but I'm curious. Thank you <3

notes: the super soft fluff and the super sad angst are Both my strong points. i love them both so much.

masterlist

seungcheol, jeonghan, hansol 

he's noticed the way you've been hesitating around him lately, no longer throwing yourself on top of him for hugs and no longer responding as well to him nudging your heads together to ask for kisses. he's worried, and he's incredibly adamant that Communication is Key in relationships (and he's right) so he asks you during a lull in the evening one day why you're being so distant. it takes a while, but he's patient and he just wants to know you're okay, and eventually when you break and tell him everything he gets really sad and starts hugging you as you cry. begins to cry himself, bc he didn't realise you were thinking that way, and tells you over and over that he loves you and he's with you because you make him the happiest ever and there's no need to worry about something like that. he's going to be with you forever and ever, whether you like it or not. 

joshua, junhui, dokyeom

incredibly perceptive when it comes to these things. knew that you were upset and he's been constantly asking you if you're okay, but you just continue to brush it off until he walks into your room one day to find you silently sobbing to yourself in the middle of the room. immediately drops to his knees on the floor beside you, making those gentle shushing noises to try and calm you down, and when you push him away he makes that small wounded noise, worried that he's done something wrong. he's gentle with you, like you're a fragile creature, when you tell him that you've been worried that he's too good for you. tells you very sincerely that he doesn't think anyone will be able to put up with him as well as you have and that honestly, he's not sure if he'd like anyone else to. for him, there's only you. asks if he can touch you, scoops you up into a big and warm hug that lasts until one of you needs to pee (him) 

wonwoo, jihoon, minghao

the conversation was probably brought up through an almost-argument. you're tired and insecure, which makes you snappish, and he's tired too, leading to biting exchanges that gradually get worse until you finally grit out that you're afraid he's going to leave you because there are better people out there. that makes the anger leave his body instantly, eyes widening. he didn't know you felt like that in the slightest, and he slowly tries to go over and touch you, stepping back if you move away. he feels like it's partly his fault for maybe not being as affectionate in the relationship as you'd like, and promises to do better and make you feel more reassured in the relationship if that's what you need. even if you say it's okay, he'll promise it anyway, because he knows how awkwardness can make him distant sometimes, and he never wants you to think he's going to stop loving you someday

hoshi, mingyu, seungkwan, chan

i think he'll start overthinking your distant nature, taking it as a sign that you don't think he's good enough for you, and comes to you all wobbly-voiced to very genuinely ask if you're tired of him, because he knows that he's not the easiest person to handle at times and if there's something about him that's bothering you, he'll try to fix it for you. it takes you by surprise, because you were afraid that he was tired of you, and yet he's come to you and said this. you end up embarrassedly telling him the reason for your distance, and both of you are crying and laughing because it's a little ridiculous and you're both just in love with each other so much that it has managed to lead to complications like this. you end up pinky-promising each other that neither is undeserving of the other, and exchange sappy 'i love you's for about an hour straight

request guidelines

[trsrina]

zerobaseone reactions to when you cry

gn reader, fluff, angst idk !! not proofread wc: ~0.99k

jiwoong

- ppl would usually panic seeing someone cry but bro would be so calm

- he just smoothly comes closer and gently pats your back, asking you what’s wrong while staring through your soul with his beautiful eyes

- and then you just continue to cry your ass off even more like he’s so sweet and he just puts your head on his shoulder and stares at you with a small smile and trying to comfort you (which certainly works like his smile omg)

- he would not care if your tears made his shirt wet bc it’s you 😳 ends up cuddling you for the rest of the day and tries to make you happy again

other members under the cut!

zhanghao

- the moment you start crying he would just freeze

- like meanwhile you’re literally bawling he just sits there and spaces out and you’re like wth aren’t you supposed to comfort me

- don’t blame him tho he just doesn’t know how to react like should he hug you or is that too much or should he just leave you alone yk he’s just scared that he makes the wrong move

- but like he can’t just leave you like this so he just buries your face in the crook of his neck and softly whispers words of comfort in your ear

hanbin

-mother

- hanbin is probably the best at comforting people like when you start crying, his mother tendencies just kick in and like suddenly he has a whole pack of tissues, a blanket, your favourite plushy and your comfort movie on the tv

-wraps you up in a blanket and makes you hug your plushy (but you’d much rather hug him anyway) softly wipes away the tears that fell on your cheek and looks at you with concern like his eyebrows furrowed and the corners of his lips downward

- “don’t waste your tears like this. let’s watch a movie and cuddle, alright? i’ll make you feel better.”

matthew

- he would ask so many questions like he’s just so fluffy and cute

- “hey, why are you crying? what’s wrong? are you okay? did you hurt yourself? did someone hurt you? did something bad happen?”

- probably thinks you somehow hurt yourself or smth and starts inspecting you and trying to find where you hurt yourself

- he would be so worried. if you’re sad, he’s sad. his hands would not leave you and he would keep a protective grip on you for the rest of the day

taerae

- would start crying with you like he’s the type to cry whenever someone cries bc he gets emotional, his eyes would start to get slightly teary while he’s wiping away your tears with his hands

- “don’t cry” sniffles “i love you, okay?” sniffles and then it’s your turn to comfort him and trying to make him stop crying but it’s ends up with both of you crying

- hugs you with his chin resting on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist and you guys just stay like that for a while

- ends up playing cute little love songs on his guitar to try to cheer you up

ricky

- when he’s with you, all his walls just break down like he has this cool facade with other people but with you, he isn’t afraid to show his weak and vulnerable side

- won’t hesitate to immediately pull you in his embrace and constantly tells you that he’s here for you while his hand strokes the back of your head, his lips slightly ghosting over your ear

- “i’m here, okay? cry it all out. you’ll be okay,” makes your heart go crazy

- spoils you for the rest of the day (as if he doesn’t spoil you enough already) would not leave your side and makes you stay in bed all day

gyuvin

- his first reaction is to probably make you smile again and that’s his ultimate goal

- he wouldn’t know what to do and starts scrolling through his phone and you’re like are you serious rn but he’s actually trying to show you cute eumppappa pics to make you smile and it somehow works

- would grab your face and inches closer to you like your foreheads touching and just closes his eyes and stays there for a while and you just stop crying

- probably feels really proud of himself for being able to calm you down and make you happy again

gunwook

- would panic like why is his baby crying he doesn’t like it when the person he loves feels pain and starts to pout

- “who or what did this to you? what happened? i will fix it for you, okay? don’t worry.” would try to fight whatever made you cry like homework too hard? does it for you. someone wronged you? would not hesitate to fight them but actually though he is too nice to fight anyone he would probably confront them and scare them away though

- forces you to go to bed and makes you sleep like he would wrap you up with your blanket like a burrito and cuddles you with your face literally buried in his chest

- he’s just so incredibly sweet and the way he cares for you just makes you so happy

yujin

- would not know how to react pt. 2

- he has no experience in comforting anyone and he just awkwardly pats your back barely your back maybe just like the back of your shoulder

- and then he’s like this isn’t working i should do something else probably tries to poke your cheeks and pinch them trying to make you smile

- but you don’t care whether or not his way of comforting made you feel better or not just the mere sight of him makes you feel butterflies and gives you a serotonin boost

[n3ptoonz]

hii !! i'd like to request submissive kung lao. like i need to ride the pride out of him or something. maybe i should be ashamed idk i don't wanna go too in detail i'm afraid becausw it's also my first time requesting anything ever but i love your writing 💓💓

well i do have a fic you'll like here, but who am i to ever not take the opportunity to write my man being submissive??? also no problem! lots of requests have had some details before you're good ty for requesting 😁

sub!kung lao hcs

explicit language used

submissive kung lao would...

have a really high pain tolerance. i mean, look at what he uses as a freaking weapon. imagine how tough and calloused them farmer hands are 🫦

let you ride him all day and all night. especially if he's been talking TOO much shit lately. he may or may not need to be brushed up on manners.

be into slapping. i make the rules! as much as he likes praise and glory, he loves humiliation. only in private because he gets to have it taken to great lengths by your demand

prefer to be tied down. it makes it ask the more fun that he physically cannot touch you whatsoever while you do whatever you please. he whines and bucks like he didn't hand you the ropes

sob tears of joy. remember that i said he has a high pain tolerance, so the masochism bar is through the skies. inflict pain on him while fueling his ego and in an instant he's in cream city

love love love for you to drag him away in public to somewhere with some privacy. emphasis on "some." bro is lowkey an exhibitionist too. one peep outta him and you instantly stop what you're doing

give as much oral as man can handle. prepare for the space between your legs to constantly be occupied by this man looking up at you with puppy eyes when he wants permission to continue

let you wear his hat while fucking. it's even cuter if it's too big

be so vocal you'd think the guy was a famous singer in his past life. the coherently placed groans and moans come together like an orchestra every time and you keep wondering how tf does he do that. but also get a massive ego boost bc only YOU can do that

[hovkinnie]

mizuena/ena5 incoherent rant below bc i love them so much im losing my mind

I can't stop thinking about how much of mizuki's conflict in prsk is resolved entirely by ena's actions, not mizuki's own, and that's actually really fucking good. hear me out.

One of the driving emotions for Mizuki's conflict is obviously fear; she's afraid of being left once people know her secret, she's afraid she can only ever have shallow connections with people who wouldn't really accept her as who she is, she's afraid of losing the few friends she has and the one space where she feels like she can express herself through their shared art.

But beyond that, the other driving emotion for her is guilt. She feels guilty that she's been "deceiving" everyone else, she feels guilty that she's left Ena waiting for so long without telling her her secret, she feels guilty that everyone else seems to be moving forward and facing their fears while she seemingly can't. And when her secret is revealed, the strongest emotion she's going through isn't her fear of being left behind, it's the guilt that's been eating her away from the inside.

She tells ena that it can't be the same, that now ena won't be able to treat her the same, that she knows Ena and Kanade and Mafuyu are so kind they'll smile and tell her they're fine with it, but that they'll just be forcing themselves for the sake of kindness. That they'd rather not have to deal with everything that makes Mizuki complicated, but they would anyway because they're kind like that. That she can't bear that. She doesn't deserve that.

And all of this guilt is so real for this young trans girl to feel because it's what we're pushed towards constantly, even when we're supposedly accepted for who we are. The lie that we're deceiving others when we present as our own gender is so deeply written into our collective psyche, and even beyond that, even in "progressive" spaces, the violence we suffer is often treated as our own burden to bear, as something we have to deal with and not burden other people with.

So many basic bitch stories about trans women, with trans women protags written by cis people, have them struggle and "grow" as the story progresses, having to "face their fears", to come out to people they're scared of leaving them, to "trust their loved ones" and take that first step. I think a lot about The Missing, a game that gets a lot of the horror of being a trans girl and yet still has the protagonist, who is so terrified of how her mom would react to her coming out she tries to end her own life, learn the lesson that she should come out anyway, trust this person that's only given her reasons to fear her, because that's the only way for her to move forward.

Mizuki doesn't do that. She doesn't have to. Mizu5 is all about the horror of being outed before you're ready to come out yourself, even to someone you know would show you kindness. And it allows Mizuki to stew in her own guilt, the guilt that she never faced her fears herself, that she's burdening N25 with her suffering. But Ena5 is about Ena, so patient and unwilling to hurt Mizuki, finally being moved to action by kaito and meiko agreeing that it's up to her to be selfish and try to bring Mizuki back, to recognize that Mizuki doesn't want to be alone.

It's up to Ena to do the scary thing, for her to be open and vulnerable about her feelings. For her to go up to Mizuki, despite being ignored for so long, as someone who is so sensitive to being ignored- to being rejected- and to tell Mizuki what she needs- and deserves- to hear. That she's wanted. That Ena doesn't care if Mizuki thinks she deserves it or not, that Mizuki's guilt shouldn't factor in because Ena wants Mizuki beside her.

It's the ultimate transfem fantasy because it's the fantasy of being truly wanted, of being unconditionally loved. It's the fantasy of someone seeing you for who you are, and not just "accepting you" as if it's a favor they're doing you, but going as far as telling you that the way you've been conditioned by a lifetime of violence to feel and act to protect yourself is NOT your fault, it's NOT just your responsibility to deal with, that you deserve someone who will go through the effort of digging you out of that hole and that you're not a burden for needing that.

In a lot of subtle ways, Mizuki's story feels 1000% written by people who understand trans girls so far beyond the scope of the usual explaining-transness-to-cis-people style of narrative, even understanding ways that these narratives fuck up routinely and also understanding exactly what is needed to sneak this into a highly commercial hatsune miku gacha game. There's a lot of compromises made there for the sake of being this kind of story in this kind of game, but what we get in return is so much more meaningful as a transfem narrative than anything of similar popularity that I can think of, it fills me with so much emotion and I truly can't fathom believing it's somehow "bait" or "not real rep" unless you've never had to think about transmisogyny and how it emotionally affects you to this degree.

I'll never stop thinking about them. Congrats on the wedding mizuki and ena. someone like ena is exactly what every trans girl deserves, and never has someone proven herself more deserving of a trans girl's love than ena. i love them both so much my heart feels like it's going to explode whenever i think of them. huge thanks to everyone involved in creating their story

[jeankirsteinsgirl]

The AOT Guys on Your Period

a/n: I'm on my period rn and its so awful and just wanted to imagine what the aot guys would be like when reader is on their period <33

CW: fem reader, pure fluff, periods (duh), slight mention of blood

Jean:

Literally the sweetest

totally watched a bunch of youtube videos and listened to podcasts about the "female experience" so he can try to understand what you're going through

"I'm right here baby, I'll lay with you as long as you want" then proceeding to let you be the little spoon all night long

gives you the best back rubs when you're cramping to soothe your muscles

Puts on your favorite movie to distract you

Lets you cuddle into him while watching said movie and strokes your hair the entire time

just the most gentle ever.

soft delicate touches, he's scared of accidentally hurting you when you're on your period

Would stop by the store after work to get you flowers and chocolate becuase he knows it's a rough time for you.

Your favorite kind of flowers of course (he knows all of your favorite things bc he's so thoughtful)

Constantly compliments you because he knows you feel disgusting

"No baby I mean it, you're so beautiful like this"

"There's no better feeling than having you lay on my chest"

"I can't believe I have the most beautiful girl in the entire world"

His big strong hands rubbing little circles on your belly omg

Would run you a hot bath for your cramps (see soft jean for more ;)

bought you one of those stuffed animals that you heat up for cramps and was so excited to give it to you.

Literally smiling like a 5-year-old when he told you he had a surprise for you and got so excited when you like his present.

only calls you babe and baby because he doesn't wanna accidentally hurt your feelings by calling you by your name

looks like a big teddy bear, is a big teddy bear

snuggles all the time

always worried about you

would definitely be one of those guys with an "i love my hot girlfriend shirt"

Eren:

Likes to joke about you being on your period when you're off of it but is always super considerate when you're on it

"Ts okay babe I'm right here" while he kisses your forehead to make you feel better.

Drapes a blanket around you on the couch to make sure you're comfortable

brings you food from your favorite restaurant to make you feel better

knows what you order of course, he pays attention

Frowns and acts all tough when you call him a cutie pie

"I am not. I'm just being a good boyfriend- I'm tough okay"

sure

You have ex fuckboy Eren totally wrapped around your finger

He's literally at your beck and call, not because you asked him to be but because he's so in love with you that he just wants to do all the sweet cheesy things with you

Would never admit all the cute things he does for you in front of his friends

Used to be a firm believer that getting kicked in the balls hurt more than period cramps until he met you and you changed his ways

lets you hold his hand and squeeze it when you're in pain

If you get nauseous he stays up with you all night, telling you little stories to distract you

Reluctantly holds your hair back when you throw up

Gives you his clothes to sleep in because they're looser and more comfy.

Adores seeing you walk around in his t-shirts and pajama pants becuase they're so big and it's so cute

the next time he wears them they smell like you

Would offer to rub your back but can't do it without getting horny so he doesn't :(

"Hey a real soldier isn't afraid to get blood on his sword that's all im saying..."

Levi:

Just like Eren in the way that he acts super tough most of the time, even more than Eren.

Rarely calls you cute names like "baby, honey, sweetheart" but totally does when you're on your period

The fact that it's so rare for him to do this makes it even more special when he does

Makes you blush every time

Would hold your hand as often as possible, rubbing little circles into it with his thumb

Not a fan of PDA but would hold your hand in public and let you kiss him on the cheek

If you're feeling especially emotional that day he'd put his arm around you and rub little circles into your shoulder with his slender fingers

Shows his affection in the most subtle ways

Would go grocery shopping bc you were out of food and come back with a stuffed animal he thought you might like from the store

"Yeah whatever, 'ts not a big deal just thought you might think it's cute"

You would wrap him in a bear hug and he would secretly blush, determined to maintain his "tough guy" exterior

Would'nt pick up food for you but would cook for you instead

Your favorite food of course

Doesn't get horny easily like a teenage boy so he could give you a massage whenever you wanted wherever you wanted

would offer to get things for you so you don't have to leave bed

Loves being the big spoon and would be wrapped around you all night

Like I said earlier, when you're on your period he tries to subtly be more sweet (he thinks you don't notice)

speaks so much more softly to you when you're on your period

is just more gentle in general

you're so needy for him both emotionally and physically and you'd want to be wrapped around him all week

and he'd let you

Armin:

Ik I said Jean's the sweetest but I changed my mind its Armin

THE CUTEST EVER

super smart so never had the misconception that periods were a walk in the park

knows all about hormonal cycles and how things would affect you differently

"I got you some dark chocolate, it's really good for soothing the cramps because of the high concentration of magnesium which eases the uterine lining so-"

"Thank you Armin" is all you'd say and giggle at the research he put into helping you

Constantly touching you, not in a sexual way but in a romantic, protective way

Holding your hand, arm around your shoulders, forehead kisses, cheek kisses, his hand on your knee when you're sitting down.

Constantly checking in on you making sure you're okay

always asking you to tell him how you're feeling and what specifically was wrong, kind of annoying but very endearing.

Would sit with you and watch whatever you wanted all day as long as it made you happy.

Would bring you whatever you want. Coffee? picked up. Blanket? on your lap. Heating pad? Plugged in. Takeout? Ordered already.

Genuinely the most thoughtful boyfriend

does everything you want before you even have to ask him it's like he reads your mind

Lets you lay on his chest and fall asleep, not moving until you wake up on your own even if his arm is asleep

Whispers sweet nothings in your ear when he thinks you're asleep but sometimes you hear them

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world, I'm so lucky to have someone like you"

"Watching you sleep takes my breath away every time"

CEO of cheesy love-sick boyfriend

Reiner:

Acts like Levi on the outside is actually Armin on the inside

Always so worried about you all the time, ESPECIALLY on your period

hates seeing you in pain so does whatever he can to make it better

constantly reminding you to take advil

one of those boyfriends who thinks drinking water will make it better "Just try it babe it can't hurt. It works, I saw it on TikTok"

Totally captivated by you

actually thinks you're really pretty on your period bc he loves seeing your natural beauty

picks you up to carry you to bed so you don't have to walk

Gets you flowers as often as he can to remind you how much he loves you

clueless about periods but very enthusiastic!

"I was talking to Armin and he said vitamin C was good so I got you a bunch of oranges from the store!"

thanks babe...?

Always calls you babe or baby, sometimes princess

you're mainly princess on your period, he wants to make sure you feel special

adores cuddling it's like his favorite thing ever and is so excited when you want to cuddle more because you're on your period

loves feeling how small you are against him and smelling your hair as you're curled into his chest

so possessive

would buy you things constantly

his love language is definitely gift-giving and physical touch

smothers you with hug all. the. time.

not opposed to period sex

would share a hot shower with you to ease your cramps

he'd wash your body for you and kiss the top of your head and your shoulders

would kiss every inch of your body to make you feel beautiful

the most protective boyfriend in the aot universe I said what I said

looks like a big scary grizzly bear on the outside but is a teddy bear on the inside just for you

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - lee jooyeon

☆彡 the long awaited end of this sweet little series is finally here!! I hope you all enjoyed! :) 🩷

word count: 633 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: swearing, all caps, not proofread, lmk if something is missing!

← previous member

it’s time for our sillies little boyfie

omg okay where do I begin

he holds your hand all the time

out in public, in bed while cuddling, under the dinner table like you’re in middle school-

he wants you close at all times

he loves you so so so sooooo much

I am the queen of the Jooyeon clingy boyfriend agenda

he LOVES PDA

okay- in reality he love what you’re comfortable with- but still

he loves being able to show you off!

you’re his! he’s dating you! he can’t believe it!!!

once he gets comfortable the pet names are… oh boy

the type of cringe you would expect from Gunil tbh

“baby”

“bubs”

“SWEET PEA” 🥹

“pookie”

“pumpkin” on rare occasions

he likes to have fun with them

you would probably make most of your plans bc have you seen the way this man uses bubble?

he will not answer your damn phone calls!

(but he means well I swear)

the selfies you get from this man are either killer or hilarious

it’s like,, a Seungmin level fit check or a .5 image where it looks like he’s looking both directions at once 💀

but it’s okay bc you love him for it obvi 🫶🏻

speaking of loving him, Jooyeon strikes me as another member of xh that your younger siblings or cousins would love

NAHH YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE HIM??

YOUR GRANDMA!!!!

children find him funny and old people find him charming and endearing

they would totally say you’re dating a prince lol

please play with his hair

I feel like he would love it

he lowkey loves it when you baby him?

like, eat the vegetables off of his plate and tell him how cute he is and he’ll eat that shit up

he is constantly singing

he makes songs up about what he does during the day

he’ll randomly hit you with the, “earlier today I was 🎶washing the dishes🎶 and I almost broke a plate.”

I feel like one of his go-to gifts would be plushies?

it’s your birthday? plushie

valentine’s day? here’s a little guy

and he forces you to name them all

sometimes he comes up with the names before he even gives them to you

“Here you go!” *hands you a plushie* “This is Bart.”

he is so amazed by you all the time

he truly idolizes you and the way you carry yourself and treat people

you aren’t afraid to be a little weird or different and he would love it!!

he would write songs for you :(

he would write songs about you :,(

I think it would be sooooo easy to fluster him

“You look very pretty today Jooyeon.” he’s red as can be

but don’t worry because he can dish it out just as well as he can take it

hot take: I bet Jooyeon secretly has rizz

it doesn’t happen often, but every now and then he hits you with a really good one-liner that honestly leaves you at a loss for words

he loves cuddle sessions :( my sweet, clingy boy

very excitable!

you could suggest watching paint dry as a date idea and he would be vibrating with excitement

loves loves loooves when you wear his clothes ESPECIALLY out in public!

it’s like your little way of showing people you’re taken

he would melt of you ever referred to him as, “my boyfriend” to someone in public like-

‼️ that’s him ‼️

he’s a ball of sunshine when he’s around you, but he also knows when to dial it back and be more serious as well

the duality to this man comes into play with more than just his stage presence!

overall, Jooyeon never stops smiling when he’s with you because he constantly has something to be thankful for 🩷

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[hughiecampbelle]

Nausea (Billy Butcher Oneshot)

Character/s: Butcher

Word Count: 1,349

A/N: This is a re-upload bc the first time I posted it I got self-conscious and deleted it lol. It's just not my best writing, but I feel like I have to get it out. Just me writing about my issues again! I still have no idea what's going on, but all the same diagnoses come back from the first time (uc/crohn's/celiac/gastroparesis) and it's so infuriating. My doctors don't know what's wrong and my family, who I love, just think it's nerves. I don't think my very graphic symptoms are nerves 😅 I have so many remedies by my bed, it looks crazy. I haven't slept well in a few days bc of the pain, but I'm also so afraid of not being believed again, it's a vicious loop. Okay I swear I'm done complaining! Thank you for putting up with me!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

He knows when it’s happening. There is no great show or performance. There is no crying or whimpering. No one else would even notice, but he knows the signs. Albeit too late, but he does. You’re quieter, withdrawn, hand over mouth, hoping this will stop the nausea. Deep, even breaths: breathing through it. When that is not enough, when that stops working, you slip quietly out of the room and into the bathroom. He tries not to notice how long you’re gone. Mere minutes. It feels so much longer. Someone snatches his attention from you and suddenly, you’re back. You reappear as if you were never gone. You offer a smile, a joke or two, a sense of normalcy, but beneath you’re stomach is churning, clenching, radiating pain through your middle. You only let him tell a few people, who you’re sure told everyone else. Still, none react besides him. He doesn’t say anything, to do so would draw attention. That’s the last thing you want. Instead, he moves towards you, casually, standing beside you. Close. You can feel his jacket on your arm. Worn and scratchy. Familiar. He looks at you and you offer him a small, insignificant nod. That’s as far as he’ll get to asking if you’re okay. That’s as far as you’ll let him when you’re working. 

Its been happening on and off for years. Off, for a long time. You thought it was over. Gone. Dead. It’s come back, though, an uninvited guest. This sudden pain, this distress, this mystery no one is curious enough to solve. When they looked, they found nothing. Said you were fine. You were embarrassed, hurt, questioning if it was all in your head. Eventually, you moved on. Things got better. You believed them. And now it’s back. A fullness, nausea, pain, weight loss. You can’t be in the apartment while he’s cooking. The smell repulses you. The taste, too. You can’t eat, afraid you’ll be sick. Again. He urges you, please, something more than your morning coffee, but you cannot handle it. Everything you try you end up spitting out: everything is gluey, everything is profoundly unappetizing. Hiding in the bathroom away from the scent or leaving altogether, it’s put a rift between you. Meals that were safe turned poisonous. Entire food groups cut off unwillingly. It’s been days. Your stomach growls, but that is a trick. You try to ignore it, hide it, knowing what he will insist. He watches you. You can feel it. You don’t say anything. It’s easier this way, not to fight, not to argue. This is a hill you will not die on. He does what he can, pouring your coffee, grateful you at least have that. So far, it doesn’t cause problems and it keeps you full. That’s all you can ask for. 

He wants you to get looked at, checked out. You refuse. You were so sick, so scared, and they told you nothing was wrong. You were constantly doubting if this was even real, then and now. If they didn’t find anything, if they didn’t have the answers, you’re not sure what you’ll do. You can’t be doubted again. You can’t be looked at and deemed dramatic. You knew the pain was real. Why did you have to prove it? Why did you have to show them when they refused to believe you? So, you keep it to yourself, far from friends and family. They congratulated the weight you lost. Said you looked good. Remind them you were petrified to eat. You were smaller and that’s what mattered. It’s worse at night. Lying beside him, you push from him, untangling his arms from around you. A trash bin by your head, waiting for it to pass. If things are bad, really bad, you’ll lock yourself in, on the floor, praying for it to go away. He wakes up to an empty bed night after night. The pain wakes you up. You have nausea patches, and losanges, and a heating pad he is constantly rewarming. If you lay very still, perhaps you can trick it. Play dead. Hours you’ll spend curled in a ball, wondering what it was that you ate that set it off, that made it so angry. Was it the time? The combination? You were down to drinks with minerals and vitamins, hydrating agents to keep you going. Baby food. Liquid diet. You missed food. You missed having an appetite. You missed cooking. But it wasn’t worth it afterwards. Immediately or hours, the nausea, the pain, the discomfort invites itself back into your life. 

Butcher isn't a natural worrier. There isn't a lot that scares him. But this? This leaves him petrified. There is something wrong and no one will listen. You try to shrug it off. It was so much worse all those years ago. It was excruciating. This, if anything, is a walk in the park in comparison. Uncomfortable sure, but that's all. It's not Vought or Homelander, that he can protect you from. That he can stop. Your body working against itself? That he can do nothing about. It isn't fair. It isn't right. And yet, there is nothing to be done. The tests they did were inconclusive. Why risk it again? Why waste your time? You assure him soon it will be gone, a few days, maybe a few weeks. Last time it was six months. You swallow that time like a prison sentence. Six months. You could do it again, if you had to. You could manage. Maybe by then they’d take you seriously. He wanted to yell and scream, at them. Order them around, insist they help, but would that even help? More tests, more waiting. By the time it would be your turn, it would have gone into remission. Loved ones would hypothesize, becoming doctors themselves. Their favorite diagnosis? Nerves. You weren’t anxious, or nervous, or worried. You were wasting away. You were spending your nights trying not to throw up and your days doing anything to prevent discomfort. Even certain clothes, too close, too constricting, were off the table. You couldn’t stand the way they looked at you, everyone but Butcher, wondering if it was physical or mental. He heard you, he saw you, he knew this was all too real. Why couldn’t others? 

You're more tired, exhausted as soon as the sun starts setting. You lose a lot of hours at night, in the early mornings, praying to anyone who will listen that you’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be gone. That you will be fine again. That it really was all in your head. Falling asleep in the car. He tries to avoid bumps in the roads, potholes, not wanting to wake you. Your attention straining: it's always there, in the back of your mind, at the back of your throat. It sits deep in the pit of your stomach and it mocks you. When you finally do complain, just a little, when it's too much, he knows it's really getting bad. He's helpless all over again. The people he's loved, the people he's lost, he can't risk it. Not again. Not with you. There’s little can do, though. There’s little anyone can do. This is not someone he can kill, this is not an organization he can take down. This is chronic, spontaneous, vengeful. It has no rhyme or reason. You let the mask slip every so often. You’re scared. Scared of what they’ll find, scared of what they won’t. He reassures you, whatever it is, you’ll figure it out together. You trust him, you love him, but you can’t do that to him. You can’t be a burden. You body is your own to take care of. So, you throw up in the bathroom, and wear your patches, and make your jokes. You tell him it’s a three, always a three, on a scale from one to ten. You can’t let him worry, he’s got enough on his plate. Yours will remain empty until, hopefully soon, it goes away just as it has appeared.

[zerodaytesttape]

i knor you are a andre centered blong but i would sell my soul for some freakay cal headcanons

Heres some not-very-gender-specific hcs!!!

Also some surprise Caldre at the end

(Also don't worry at all, i'd also sell my soul for Cal hc's, it doesn't matter who my acc is centered around I am MORE than happy with writing these!!! I got the help of my friend @happylol-888 , thank her as well ❤️)

Btw this was NOT proof read, my absolute apologies if I said anything wrong

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

- He does not give a fuck where he is, he is VERY happy doing risky things. He'll place his hand on your thigh and give you puppy eyes when you're sitting next to each other or pull you into a unisex bathroom and laugh at you for being a slut if you even make the TINIEST bit of noise ( @happylol-888 )

- He whines, but in a quiet sad puppy kind of way as if he's begging. To add onto that he's not afraid to beg, he will go straight to begging if he isn't getting what he wants. unlike Andre who would rather die than beg ( @happylol-888 )

- He does not want to be comfortable he wants to be cut stabbed, hit, ANYTHINGGG, he does not care. ( @happylol-888 )

- He bites. That's all, he just bites ( @happylol-888 )

- He shakes and shivers when he's close

- He switches up so mf fast. He will go from whining and begging and giving you his pretty eyes and treating you like his god, to pinning you down and calling you all sorts of cruel names. He'd laugh at you while you sobbed, but wipe your tears and kiss your face afterwards

- Scoffs and giggles to himself when he sees the mess you made despite him not even putting his hands on you yet, its humiliating

- LOVES knifes or sharp things to his neck.

- Would fucking lose his SHIITTTT to feeling your cold hands against his skin. Little bit of a temperature kink

- He'd be down to feel the cold stainless steel(referencing one of my posts) against his skin, to feel the rush of "what if they just slit my throat right here, right now"

- His nails are constantly over his fingertips/pretty long, the scratches and little marks he'd leave would be beautiful.

- Looks like he'd be down to be kicked and hit in the dick

- He has this soft breathy quiet moan, he's not usually loud, but he isn't not-vocal.

- Would be like "oh yeah? mmm, uh huh. what else?" to make fun of you while you begged, then land a hard slap across your face and call you a stupid whore with a sly smile on his face

- LOVESSSS hair pulling, recieving or giving but ESPECIALLY recieving. His hair is just the perfect length to grab and pull at

- Mf would BEG, PLEAD, CRAVEEEE to go down on you. He'd ask and ask and ask for you to push your hand in his hair and pull whenever it felt good. When he eventually got your permission, he was GOOD.

- Hickeys are his SHIT, he wants them all over you. He wants to walk around with you, hand-in-hand, showing off you and the marks he made

- He wouldn't want to hurt you too bad, but I think he wouldn't complain about a little bit of CNC. He'd love the feeling of holding you down and feeling the impact of your fists hitting his chest as you tried to get him off, he knows you want it, he would make sure, but until you two are done, "no" and "stop" mean nothing to him, he needs you too badly

- He'd be down to cut you/ watch you cut yourself. If he was doing it to you, he'd bite his teeth down onto his lip and smile as you winced from his blade running along your skin.

He'd stare up at you as you look at the deep red mess he made all over your thighs, like a stupid bitch waiting for a gold sticker. If you were doing it, he'd sit and watch the blade touch down on your skin, his hand down his pants. He'd watch the blood start to bead as he palmed himself over his boxers, he'd even beg to lick the metallic red off of your skin, he wants to clean up the mess he made you make.

andddd some Caldre, bc this was my excuse too add them❤️

- Andre had never been one to bottom, Cal was always underneath Andre getting every single pit of pent-up rage crashed down on him in the most pleasurable way possible, but a few times it was the other way around. Cal would tease Andre at the dinner table, his hands trailing across the fly of Andre's jeans, once in a while palming him for a split second and then moving his hand down to his thigh instead. He'd get Andre so desperate that he would practically beg with his eyes to go upstairs. Andre would excuse himself, then Cal moments later. Once Cal got upstairs after Andre he'd find himself pinning Andre to a wall with his knee between his legs. He'd listen to his quiet whines and gasps and Cal would once-in-a-while pushing his thigh against Andre's zipper, the pressure getting too much for Andre to handle without at least a little bit of whining. Cal loves it every single time Andre gets desperate, even though its not often.

- Caldre road head. Coming back from shooting in the forest, Andre is mad about god knows what and practically screaming at Cal whose sitting silently beside him in the passenger seat. Cal knows that Andre will get over it quickly and he isn't truly genuinely actually mad, Cal just accidentally pissed him off somehow, Andre was like a landmine. His ears would ring at the sound of Andre's voice, he'd watch his cheeks get red with anger and emotional outburst, his hands tightly grabbing the steering wheel, his muscles tense through his shirt, his eyes fixated on the road. Cal would slowly trail his hand across the middle compartment of Andre's car and onto his thigh, he'd feel the texture of the tight denim as Andre kept on lecturing. He didn't even notice Cal's hand on his body until it was unzipping his fly. He felt the pressure slowly release as Cal pulled down his jeans just enough to get some access, then suddenly his voice got quieter and quieter, then he just stopped yelling. His hand went from the steering wheel to being intertwined in Cal's soft blonde hair, holding him tight as Cal kissed all along his thighs and v-line. The car went from silence to Andre quietly moaning as Cal kissed all along his dick, then quiet moans turned to more as Cal fully took him. Cal was always amazing at cheering him up, but that was usually by making him laugh. But hey, this works too. Whose complaining??

- Andre fucking LOVES hurting Cal and hearing him whine. He'll hit him in the side or pinch his skin just to hear him in a bit of pain

- He still does not care where he is, he is very happy doing risky things. he’ll place his hand over Andre’s dick when they’re sitting next to each other ( @happylol-888 )

[myungjaes-luvv]

hi so im a onedoor and i recently got into andteam and i wanted to know if you have any thoughts on comparing and contrasting jo and myungjae as your bf? both sfw and nsfw comparisons~ i usually peg (lol) them both on the subbier side but they're so different personality wise, i'm looking forward to reading what your thoughts are!! :)

hello anon! i think this is SUCH a banger idea, so much so that ive temporarily ignored my pile of requests for it. i want to start by saying that jaehyun is my ult bias, and ive been WAITING for an ask about him !!!!

i lowkey had a lot of fun comparing/contrasting them, and found a lot of similarities as well as differences as i wrote these

hard hours + requests: open (bnd, enha, &team, wayv)

SFW

Myung Jaehyun as your boyfriend...

he is SO cuddly bro

i know onedoor often compare him to a puppy, but genuinely. he is a PUPPY.

like you'd come home from doing whatever all day and he would be at the door instantly to greet you

runs up to you and is all "i missed you so much, i thought you'd never come home..."

overdramatic as HELL

he's so cutie though omg

clingy too

if you're ever out with his friends, he's not afraid to have his arm around you

his arm around your waist nonchalantly while he and his friends make small talk about whatever

physical touch with myungjae would go so crazy omg

okay i could probably sit here and talk about jaehyun as your boyfriend for forever oops

Asakura Jo as your boyfriend...

compared to jaehyun, i see him as less clingy

probably isn't too big on PDA unless you specifically tell him or ask him for it

still the sweetest ever though

acts of service or gift giving

if he sees something in the store that reminds him of you, he buys it

no questions asked, it's a present now

constantly checks in on you and asks about your day

he does have his moments though where he is feeling more affectionate

he lets down his guard for you

he's so in love with you bro

like he's convinced the two of you were meant to fall in love

NSFW

Myung Jaehyun as your boyfriend...

im gonna start this by saying he is extremely LOUD

he whines for sure

he'd probably try and say he isnt being loud...but like...come on...

you're so right though about him being on the subbier side

maybe this is just me but. pull his hair.

like yank that shit oh my god

likes being edged. probably

dry humping. that's all im gonna say

praises you while you literally rock his world

aftercare is so sweet with him

he's so cuddly with you (i said this already)

soft sex with jaehyun though (im dizzy)

he just wants both of you to feel good

okay i need to stop bc again...could talk about jaehyun for ages.

Asakura Jo as your boyfriend...

i can see him being a switch rather than fully on the sub side or fully on the dom side

as a sub though, he'd for sure let you do whatever you wanted to him

eye contact goes crazy

hear me out. you guys are fucking and he makes it such a clear point he wants to remain eye contact the whole time...

genuinely he probably finishes relatively quickly

he'd get real shy and embarrassed about it

his face probably gets really red

dry humping probably.

this isnt an original thought at all but size kink...

esp if you're like. a lot smaller than him

OKAY THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL REQUEST THAT JUST ABOUT BROKE ME