#bc i was too busy staring at tao's ass

[xiuhunsoo]

me remembering that i should be grateful every single day that i saw exo with tao (and yixing) live :')

[thewizardprincessau]

hey. dont cry. dissection of the passerine animatic + the accompanying character study ok? ok.

tldr: my son chun tao she is so fucking ill

Honestly Passerine is THE Chun Tao song. To me. bc it fits really well with his religious guilt, but i also like to recontextualize the chorus to instead be him talking about eri. they were the one really pulling the weight during the early days of their friendship, and chun tao feels a lot of guilt for that

but first! the animatic! it centers around chun tao's guilt for eri being so sweet to him despite him being a stoic ass cold bitch. i actually color-picked the palette from the album cover of eurus (that passerine is from) and slapped on a noise filter to achieve that same grainy effect. it looks nice 2 me.

eri is represented in a distinguishing yellow, someone bright and unique to chun tao, while he himself is colored in the same white as all the other details in the background. While making him the same color as the lyrics helped establish they were His thoughts, him blending in w everything else while eri has their own unique color is his way of putting eri on a pedestal, viewing them as more important than he'll ever be. they're the monarch and he's just their prince consort. that's how he always thought of it.

i dont have much to say about these frames in particular but here are their corresponding parts in the study! theyre just meant to establish their relationship w one another before leading up to the next part, where he sees eri as this blinding light, but just cant let go of that one sign of weakness they had shown him during their wedding. a small glimpse of a them he didnt quite understand yet, and never made the effort to.

at some point, chun tao Snaps and berates eri for trying to get so close to him. at first i wasnt sure if his mindset made.. sense? but connecting the dots from earlier, it DOES make sense if you see it through the point of view that he sees eri as someone above him. chun tao isnt someone who deals with people and he's used to impersonal business relationships and he thought this would be another one of those which is why he's so shocked, caught off-guard, even offended at eri threatening his status quo. brother hates vulnerability, and it terrified him that someone was trying to get through his walls, so all he could do was lash out.

im not absolving eri of blame either though.. i think they still had some wrong in not immediately recognizing chun tao's boundaries. they were so eager to be her friend, they dont realize they might come across as overbearing. and they were, in a sense, but chun tao does also realize its unfair to them to take their innocent gestures of friendliness with so much malice. they just have conflicting ideas on the world, and it clashed, and no one's totally wrong but no one's totally right, they were just coming from their own places.

In here chun tao watches as eri reels back and apologizes for all the things she had shouted at them at. but it's also the same moment chun tao realizes that she does Not know much of anything about eri at all. it's very faint, but there's the outline of a sobbing younger eri staring straight at the screen, supposedly at chun tao, like a reminder of the eri she never got to meet herself. one that was hurting just like her. and that younger eri still resides in the one standing before her crying too, she just never got to see that side to them because she never bothered to figure that side to them out. (AND the "your" is intentionally written twice, like its referring to both eri in the present and eri in the past. by failing to understand them, chun tao feels like he's failing both eris.)

as mentioned earlier, chun tao gets mad at eri for having a "perfect life" and thinks theyd never understand her. but. the thing is. chun tao isnt LETTING them understand her. she keeps pushing them away. and she realizes it was presumptuous to assume they would understand her, because well. she.. doesnt even know what eri's Been through atp. she just assumed eri's life's been perfect because theyre so composed and chipper, but she didnt know who they were a couple years ago at all. she thinks that bc eri's secret relationship is lovey-dovey that their love is perfect, but chun tao didn't see their toxic yuri of a start and that they face a lot of problems as a couple too. chun tao thinks that bc eri is so well-loved by the public that thats that, but she remembers that people gossiped AND gossip hard about them bc of their status as a non-sorcerer. they were dehumanized and alienated by the public too, just like her. and this realization hits her HARD.

he then tries to make an effort to be more involved in eri's life after this point, reconciling with them and becoming their best friend. okay tbh the scene described in the character study is NOT the same as the one pictured in the animatic but i HAD to get a hug in there somewhere.

the last two scenes are a BIG flashforward to ursa's creation, where chun tao is panicking hard about eri literally dying to create their homunculus baby. also ursa is drawn in white but has eri's yellow present too, showing how he's a combination of them, their little kid :D

the whole lyric bit of "but i cant shake this feeling that i was only pushing the spear into your side, again and again and again" is supposed to represent chun tao feeling like a thorn on eri's side causing them pain. he scolded them for being nice to him, and they went on to sacrifice their life in a dangerous ritual to create their son and uphold tradition, but he just feels so so guilty for all of that. he cant shake the feeling that he's a source of their pain and suffering, and it eats him up alive.

-----------------------------------

ok ANYWAY moving on to the CHARACTER STUDY NOW!!!!!!!!!! just parallels and stuff w the writing

guys im a fucking feature writer of course im going to start and end with the same phrase ("chun tao is not a people peson, and his family knows this very well"). chun tao refers to two different families in the opening and closing segments: in the first he refers to his biological family, and in the second its about the family he found and made in quiro. both his families knows he struggles with social interactions, and his bio family (his cousins) make fun of him for it, so he goes on to detail how he views social interactions as a system, a formula he understands. his family in quiro instead tries to HELP him get better at it, and he instead recognizes that social interactions are something personal that require heart and genuine investment (shown in how he notes that ursa cares about him deeply), even moving past his frozen style of speech with the mention of jokes. tldr he's fucking cringefail at socializing and his bio family called him cringe but his chosen family said he's cringe but free. what

Perfect life/love/reputation. At first he hates eri for having these "perfect" things and thinks theyre sooo happy because of it, but later on realizes that their life isnt perfect and neither is his, but he finds joy in what he has anyway :)

the repeated mention of chun tao saying he'd never fall in love with eri bc he's so stuck in his rigid view of romance, but later comes to love eri as his best friend AND love his found family too :'3

chun tao wondering earlier if she should try to emulate eri's pleasantries, and ends up doing so later down the line! both lines have the same structure with the "quick greeting + smile despite being tired"

"Ahia" is Chinese for the eldest brother and it's also used to refer to children to know their birth order. Chun Tao calling Ursa this is an acknowledgement of him going to be a big brother soon! tbh in my head thats what the meeting eri called for is about but its just my headcanon (<== SAID THE ONE WRITING THE STORY)

ALSO i dont have screenshots to show but eri is only intentionally mentioned by name in the flashforward, to show how back then chun tao only saw them as THE princess/monarch but eventually comes to recognize them as eri, his bestie :3

oh my god i. think thats it? good god. might add onto this if i remember more but. thank you for entertaining my insanity why is this 1400+ words I NEED TO EAT BRUNCH

[junosaurus]

Hello!!!! Its my first time requesting,

But would you mind doing a quiet, weak-looking s/o but when it comes to sports day, they joined bunch of activities with so much energy! Like they can run fast, jump high and etc!

Could you please do them with Zhongli/Albedo/Xiao/Scaramouche? Or any genshin characters you want!! Ofc, it's a modern AU!!

Sports Day

Ft: Zhongli, Albedo and Xiao (seperated)

A/N: I don't really know how to write about these characters (or lets say i just genuinely dont know how to write for male characters 💀) but i hope this is what you asked for!!! (scara isnt written in here bcs as i said in my pinned post, no unreleased characters sorry!!)

Zhongli

He would be the leader of the school swimming team

Quite busy on sports day since he's got some competitions too

You had told him you'd be very busy on sports day too

Right after he finished with all his competitions, he started hearing your name being announced for competitions

He was quite worried that you had entered competitions since to him, you were so fragile

"Here we have the mighty Y/N L/N VERSUSSSS YANFEI for tennis!!!!" The announcer was very loud indeed, as she was the one and ghostly Hu Tao.

Getting ready, you heard the whistle go off. Yanfei set the ball to you, swiftly hitting the ball back to her. After a few more hits and the ball was aimed quite high, you hit a quick spike, earning a point. Zhongli was astonished from what he just saw, Y/N???? Sporty??? He never heard of that before.

After winning gold medals for tennis, track and field, baseball and volleyball, Zhongli was genuinely terrified by you. The lazy Y/N who literally slept the whole time when Zhongli offered you to be the swimming teams manager for a day was a completely different person today???

After the day was done and you both were walking home he had so many questions.

Zhongli: You never told me you were...quite the active person.

Y/N: Practically quit, but I have gym in the morning before school.

Zhongli: Ah now I see why you're always tired at school, though what do you mean by quit?

Y/N: I used to be on national teams for fencing, so I got my skills for other sports from practicing.

Zhongli was dumbfounded. He paused and blinked, staring at you. He was too shocked.

Y/N: *sigh* Only reason I joined school competitions is because I have a deal with the head coach. He said I wouldn't have to join team trainings or P.E if I just did well in many competitions for sports day then he'll give me a good report. Thats why I always skip P.E class. Oh plus all the coaches are a pain in the ass.

Zhongli: They are quite something. But I'm very amazed by your achievements Y/N. Can't believe you get to skip P.E class too.

Albedo

Albedo was just the one in charge of making sure everybody that were competing knew where they were supposed to be

He never actually knew you played sports until he printed all the lists of competitors

He kept checking if the lists were right because he was SURE you were exactly like him

meaning not sporty and much of a nerd

It wasn't until the big day he finally found out.

"AND WHO DO WE HAVE HEREEEE??? Y/N VERSUSSSSS XIANGLING FOR FENCING!!!" Hu Tao shouted into the mic

Albedo almost spit his caprisun out hearing your name. 'So maybe my speculations were wrong and they were actually sporty?????'

To Albedo, you were just a person that sleeps whenever they can and live off coffee, the same as him. So he was quite amazed looking at you doing fencing.

Still slurping his caprisun, right after the match had ended he snuck up on you and became a whole questionnaire.

Albedo: So you're telling me that you're actually good at sports now?

Y/N: Since the age of 2, yes.

Albedo: But you never went to any training though?

Y/N: Before school training and heavy training for years.

Coach: Hey Y/N, volleyball next. And you kid, go back to your desk. There's a queue full of lost minds out there.

Y/N: Oh well, gotta go. Love ya

You kissed his cheek and ran.

Albedo: Love you too... *whispers* how can they even manage that without intense training everyday..

Xiao

The boy does javelin frfr

He was always going to before and after school training

Was clueless on why you were in a competition

You were always with him in training and slept on the bench so he thought you never really played sports

You were always handing him energy drinks after he finished training

On sports day, he was waiting for his turn on the benches. Until you came sitting next to him.

Xiao: What are you doing here?

Y/N: Waiting for my turn?

Xiao: Oh alright.

He faced the field again

He turned to you in a heartbeat

Xiao: Wait you're playing??????

Y/N: Mhmmmm

Coach: Y/N you're up!

Y/N: Coming right there! Bye, love you xiao.

He blushed intensely and soon jaw dropped when he saw your skills at javelin.

[my-bobohu-blog]

so i was having a conversation with @chogisad​ about uhh ot9 emo-l times so i really wanted to make this post to just… jot down all my feelings about ot9 and exo and address all the negative energies regarding everything that’s been happening as of late? and i know that this really isn’t necessary in any way shape or form, but i really just wanted to do it for me. so i guess this is gonna be a really long post filled with a lot of hope and optimism and positivity for exo’s present and future as ot9 and if you’re interested in that, then by all means continue reading under the cut~

i remember back in 2015 when we experienced our first major Yixing Drought. his studio had just opened in china and he was being flooded with jobs and all the opportunities working in his homeland offered that korea could never give him. i remember being so endlessly proud of him but missing him a lot too. 

because here the rest of exo were in korea doing cf’s and other work and then they went on to do the japan tour without yixing :( and it hurt? because performing at the tokyo dome was such a big deal to them but there were only 8 members and it hurt so much not seeing yixing with them for like 1-2 months? or more? i don’t remember how long the drought lasted but it was our first real Yixing Drought in the fandom. 

and i remember seeing all these theories and conspiracy posts how sm was trying to push yixing out of exo and there was just so much ot8 propaganda- regardless if it came from hurting xingmi’s or actual ot8 stans… there was just so much negativity surrounding everything because yixing just… wasn’t there. and we as fans knew next to nothing and sm, as always, kept their official announcement last minute and vague as hell like when they announced yixing wouldn’t be participating in the japan tour bc of schedules AFTER selling tickets for the concerts DESPITE yixing being like the most popular member in japan. and it was fucking scary. 

hell, we just lost tao after cmb and here we are freshly ot9 and hoping and praying that the next comeback we wouldn’t lose another member. yixing as the last chinese member standing- the only true mark that sm had ever tried breaking into the chinese market with exo at all. and we were scared and terrified because what if sm was pushing him out? what if they were trying to faze him out of exo completely?

and i remember sing for you being ot9 but promoting as x8 members and i kept waiting for someone to mention yixing but they never did? and i was so frustrated bc all these other young groups can mention members who were missing because of injuries or schedules but why couldn’t exo??

doesn’t this all sound familiar? 

but sfy had that memorable showcase moment with yixing breaking and crying and telling us and his members how sorry he was but he reminded us that he was exo too. and bbh was there to reassure us that yixing may be busy overseas, but wherever he goes- yixing still wears the exo name proudly and does this entire fandom proud too. 

and i remember the days leading up to MAMAs in 2015 and we were all sitting there staring at our screens with baited breath waiting to find yixing airport pictures because there was no evidence he was going to hong kong for MAMAs yet and really? how the hell could exo go to this major awards ceremony without yixing? but we were so scared. but he pulled through and he showed up and he gave his finger wagging speech and we all cried and it was good and we were happy and things were okay.

and then things got better when ex’act dropped with The Peak ot9 moments of life and we had ot9 THRIVING! we had family pictures, xingdae came back from the dead, baekxing were inseparable, even chanxing were good and well and capturing hearts of fans. like it was just So Good!!! 

ex’act was really exo telling all of us to not worry. the members weren’t going anywhere. ot9 is here to stay as long as we would have them. and they loved us and they loved each other and everything would be okay. 

even though exo never mentions yixing when they win music shows like how other groups do, i think that’s just because those groups aren’t built the way exo were. i mean exo literally started as k and m and half their group was always away in china promoting because that was Their Job. and i think it’s just a different mentality you know? maybe exo always just knows that when they win, it’s for the whole group. that they don’t need to explicitly call out a missing member because We Are One or something lmao. and i remember during MAMAs 2013 when they won song of the year for growl… kyungsoo wasn’t there bc boy twisted his ankle to no end and had to go to the hospital. but i don’t think they mentioned him missing. and i think… that’s just how exo is. but idk. i think it’s something we’ll never know because we’re not in their minds. 

but we DO know that exo cherishes yixing so much. you can see it in their eyes whenever yixing does a speech in chinese and everyone is just so happy he’s there and they’re so proud of him. you can tell because they ALWAYS hand him the mic when he’s with them at music shows ALWAYS and they make sure he gets to say what he wants to say. and they cheer him on and they support his solo and they love him absolutely so so so much.

… and now here we are. 

and i know there are a lot of doubts and worries going into this repackage and everything. and i honestly don’t know how to start addressing things… but i really want to try. 

with kkb, we all knew it was heavily delayed. i think sm had full intentions of having an ot9 comeback with it being their 5th anniversary / 4th full album comeback. like… it was just common sense. but THAAD happened and political situations/international relations is just out of our/their control. china put a ban on skorea travel. there was a lot of negative energy surrounding it and yixing literally COULD NOT go to korea or even do anything related to exo (ex: the lotte world sponsorship and the amount of backlash that received because of china’s beef w/ lotte for giving up property for the missiles) 

anyways- what i’m trying to say is that sm tried. they delayed the comeback that was probably planned for early summer because they needed to see how this would all play out. they couldn’t do anything about it but wait. that was literally the only option. and yixing is in china with his own studio and he’s waiting too- but everyone has to keep proceeding with business as usual and that means yixing planning schedules that bleed into later months and that means sm going forth with x8 member comeback for kkb. 

and with how delayed kkb was and how sm needed to do exo’s repackage sooner rather than later (for the whole Drama of the Symbolism of the eclipse and shit) i think sm was really pressed for time and things were falling apart rather than together. yixing’s solo album was probably slated for late summer after the kkb comeback focusing his sales and promotions in china. then the repack would (my hope) be ot9 for september and all things would just happen as they should. but with the kkb delay, i think sm realized there wouldn’t be enough time for yixing’s solo. and maybe they thought it’d be best to push it to xingtober anyways. 

and god, im not saying sm makes good decisions because we all know that’s a crapshoot but what i’m saying is that maybe sm tried. there are a lot of things WE AS FANS DO NOT KNOW and just for my sanity, i want to give sm the benefit of the doubt this time. i honest to god think they tried the best they could with ot9 given all the shit that has happened this year. am i saying they did a good job? not really no. because im still stressed as hell and mad and dissatisfied with a lot of things… but i think they did try.

yixing has been seen traveling back and forth btwn china and korea a lot and we don’t know why. sm hasn’t released any official statement on yixing’s participation in the repackage… and i don’t know if that’s something that’s good or bad or if that should be expected or not?

but i honest to god do not believe in any of those posts saying that sm is trying to push yixing our or faze him out or anything. i just don’t. 

i trust yixing. just a few days ago he said he didn’t want to disappoint his group. HIS group. jongdae literally hung out with him and they had lunch together not too long ago either. like maybe a month ago? and it was so lowkey and so precious and so xingdae. and junmyeon said during their vlive that they’d be on stage with yixing soon. and i really truly believe them. because i think sm is trying too. i think all the boys are doing the best they can to handle whatever the hell the situation is. whether it’s political (THAAD) or schedules or other plans sm has… i think they’re trying. and i believe in them. 

and i know i probably sound recklessly optimistic and y’all can tell me that i’m boo boo the fool and that i’m gonna have all my hopes crushed and i’m gonna be disappointed… and maybe so. but i’m not strong enough to crush my own hopes when they already exist. and i have so much hope in exo, i don’t think i could ever willingly do that to myself and tell myself that this is gonna be worst case scenario. i need to believe in the best of our boys just for my sanity’s sake. and god… i really really hope and pray that this repackage is ot9 because i can’t imagine how i would feel if it wasn’t. AT LEAST ALLUDE TO OT9 YA KNOW??? THROW IN SOME LIKE NON SUBTLE HINTS LIKE STRAIGHT UP HAVE A SILHOUETTE OF YIXING SHOW AT THE END OF SMTH LIKE GUESS THAT POKEMON IDK??? JUST… i need to believe in something and i want to believe in ot9 and exo.

and maybe we get an ot9 repack or maybe we get an x8 comeback with a bomb ass yixing solo album soon and maybe we get ot9 back again someday soon and the fandom can breathe again.

sigh okay. i think i’ve said everything i’ve wanted to say. there are some other thoughts i have but i don’t want to mention them just because it’s not something i want to entertain until the mv drops and we know for sure what the deal is.

sigh okay. bye bye. too much writing.