lexirexie

[lexirexie]

reblog to join

omad october

[lexirexie]

im back.

been in recovery for a while. got discharged from therapy. got a new job. kind of broke up with my boyfriend. have a crush on my manager.

in all that, ive been overeating for like a month or two. in july i was at my lw but still never hit my gw let alone ugw. ive had enough of being f@t.

i know what i need to do.

im gonna liquid fast for all of tomorrow and then im back on 650cals a day. gonna buy new scales and get a gym membership to make sure i can still walk and exercise while its winter.

im locking in.

this is fucking embarrassing but i dont know what i weigh exactly right now. i last checked a few days ago on my brothers scales and i was 68.4kg. my lw was 64.1kg. so its not too bad but at the same time it is. the numbers only been going up. my ugw is 52kg. im 5'5 btw.

funny thing is i developed ana on this exact day last year.

[lexirexie]

Restaurants Safe Foods Masterpost

Food from my master post, this is just so you don’t have to scroll through the whole thing if you didn’t want to on my masterpost

A&W

Applebees

Arbys

Bojangles

Burger King

Bj’s

Carrabas

Cheddars

Chick-Fil-A

Chilis

Chipotle

Chuck E Cheese

Cici’s

Cracker Barrel

Culivers

Dairy Queen/Orange Julius

Denny’s

Dominos

Dunkin Donuts

Fire House Subs

Five Guys

Fuddruckers

Golden Coral

Hard Rock

In and Out Burger

IHOP

Jasons Deli

KFC

Krispy Kreme

Little Caesers

Krystals

Logans Road House

Long Horn Steak House

McAlisters Deli

McDonalds

Movie Theaters

Olive Garden

Outback Steak House

Panda Express

Panera Bread Co.

Papa Johns

Papa Murphys

Pizza Hut

Popeyes

PF Changs

Red Robins (yuUUMMM)

Ruby Tuesday

Sonic

Steak and Shake

Subway

Taco Bell

Texas Road House

Tim Hortons

Waffle House

Wendy’s

White Castle

Zaxbys

[lexirexie]

my dad basically called me fat at lunch today and i just ran out. ive been slowly relapsing the last couple weeks. looks like its coming back full blown.

its like thry've forgottom i have an ed just because ive been recovering for a month. well, ill fucking remind them.

[lexirexie]

Daily Thinspo

every calorie counts

[lexirexie]

the fucked up thing in all of this is, i want people to worry about me and be shocked when they see me. i want them to think „omg she lost so much weight“. idk why 🤷🏻‍♀️ i just want people to treat me like i’m gonna break in half just by breathing in my direction.

[lexirexie]

I know this sounds insane, but I hate when other people say they’re not hungry. Stop it! That's my thing!

[lexirexie]

does anyone else get hungriest like straight af tree r they eat?? my stomach feels empty and it growls a lot even tho i just ate a decent meal (chicken breast and 2 cups of veg)

why is it like thisssss

also im back on my -1kg weekly grind lessgooo ���🏻

[lexirexie]

for how much everyone goes on about rice cakes and they're like known in ED's, you think they'd be like 5-10 cals each but they're like 30?? i know that isn't much either but its a lot more than i thought considering the hype

[lexirexie]

guys im up by a lot on the scale after my holiday and birthday parties. from 64.1 to 65.6 (idk how reliable my scales are sometimes they give different numbers buy 65.6 was the most consistent one) and its freaked me out. if im consistent on my recovery plans i should be 64.8 by next week. this feels so slow!!

edit: according to losertown, everythings fine, my projected goal date is still similar, mid-late november, but either way by the next time my boyfriend's family sees me i'll have lost at least another 10kg.

[lexirexie]

gonna weigh myself and start over tomorrow, my boyfriends finally gone back home (3hrs from me) and all of my birthday festivities are over.

i estimate it'll say 64.8-65.5kg, for context before i went on holiday i was 64kg. hopefully theres not too much damage control to do.

to be honest, ive actually been recovering and healing my relationship with food and its felt genuinely rewarding this time around. im sticking to a sustainable defecit and walking a few miles a day so i know im still losing, but im not in such a rush. ill be my ugw by november anyway which honestly isnt far.

im keeping tumblr because its a safe space and i still like the thin/mealsp0.

[lexirexie]

The "Three-Bite" Rule

Consists in allowing yourself 3 bites of any indulgent food:

The first one is to taste the food.

The second one is for savoring it.

By the third one you can already tell how it tastes so you can stop eating it.

I read about this trick in Twitter, where a girl post a thread about her almond mom and her habits to stay skinny.

It really helped me with binging, with this I can allow myself some of my cravings. Hope it works for you 💞

[lexirexie]

i'm not sure what i weigh right now, i'm terrified to weigh myself after drinking and binge eating for over a week on holiday. part of me wants to do it now, to start asap, but if im being smart, i know i have a birthday party on saturday and my boyfriend goes home on monday. i should start then, because after monday nothing can sabotage me.

i've calculated, to lose a kg a week i need to net 320 cals daily. so that will be tge plan.

[lexirexie]

right, im back.

the situation is:

i went to tenerife for my 18th birthday, we stayed at an all inclusive hotel. as if being practically naked around strangers and my family almost all the time wasn't uncomfortable enough, i was with my parents and my boyfriend, all 3 of which not only eat a lot but always encourage me to. so, i basically binged all week. every day, i had 3 meals, desserts, hot chocolates, things from the vending machine, ice creams around the pool, and since i turned 18 of course a lot of alchohol.

my mum told me while she was (very) drunk that as long as i dont let my ed make them feel uncomfortable i can relapse and be a rexie all i want when i get home. to me, that meant she can see how fat i still am and understands why i hate what i look like and want to ⭐️ve.

Well, I'm home now.

[lexirexie]

lately I’ve been binging my fucking crazy because like you ever have those thoughts where your like “it’s okay I love my body it’s okay to eat!!” Then once you finish that last bite ur like fuck why did I eat that this is why ur so big

just me?

[lexirexie]

literally WHY does everyone think that every “hangout” has to involve eating???

hello i’m trying to ⭐️rve? go AWAYYYYY.

[lexirexie]

I've been at an all inclusive hotel in tenerife for the last few days since its my birthday tomorrow. breakfast and dinner buffet style. alchohol. ice cream. no fasting. no calorie information. no meal skipping. no ingredient lists. my boyfriend and parens have been happy with me eating more. much more. it feels like im binging sometimes.

I'm in hell.