#bc i was gifted a cold and a fever from hell | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cdroloisms · 4 years ago

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originally i just wanted dream to recover, preferably in the syndicate. but after today's quackity lore? he deserves to fuck shit up for a bit. let him get his revenge. tommy got his revenge on dream, techno got his revenge on l'manberg, dream deserves to get revenge on quackity and sam! then he can recover after that lol

(context: ask was sent on march 16th and i am very. very late.)

but YEAH !! logic brain says revenge bad and cycle of violence will continue BUT emotion brain wants c!dream to go crazy go stupid !! go beat them up honey we’ll be here with juice boxes and fruit snacks when you’re done <3

i wrote this while looping casino royale by derivakat for (checks time) something like 12 hours straight so uhh,,, yeah LMAO have some of c!dream going apeshit bc honestly he deserves it (/hj)

tw: implied torture, abuse, mentioned injuries, suicide, murder, explosions, death, violence, dark portrayals of c!dream, c!quackity, and c!sam, emotional distress, prison arc, pandora’s vault

Sam is uneasy long before he enters Las Nevadas - Quackity’s terse, serious-sounding string of texts he’d woken up to had sent his heart racing before the country even came into sight, and he’s pretty sure the pit in the middle of his gut since Dream escaped a week ago won’t disappear until the prisoner is either jailed or dead at his feet. Still, the city hardly does his anxiety any favors - each step within its limits feels a bit more like walking to his own death, the silent storefronts and looming, boarded up casino seeming to watch his every move, making him pick up his pace to move a little faster and avoid their judging gazes.

Stuck in his head as he is, it’s not until he’s halfway to the meeting place that he realizes how eerily quiet the place is - Las Nevadas has yet to be a particularly busy country with the casino yet to open and their recruits usually doing their own thing in the meantime, but still there’s usually at least one of them lingering on the city grounds, between Fundy’s work on his yacht and Foolish’s construction and whatever Slime does, usually involving an immense amount of following Quackity’s every move. The city as it right now feels much more like when it had been no more than a secret of his and Quackity, months spent with just the two of them working to make Big Q’s vision a reality. There’s something uniquely unnerving about it, like stepping into a ghost town, and Sam’s unease only grows.

“Sam!” Quackity calls from the base of the casino - Sam shades his eyes from the sun as he jogs over. Even from this far, it’s clear Q is displeased - his lips are flat in a small frown, skin taut from where the corner of his mouth is pulling at his scar. His tie is slightly askew and shirt rumpled - he looks disheveled, eyebrows narrowed irritatedly as he taps at something on his communicator. Sam smiles slightly, hollow.

“Hello Quackity,” he responds simply, drawing his trident and bringing it to his side. “You said we needed to meet?”

“Yeah,” Quackity’s voice is distracted, and he mumbles a curse as he jams his finger particularly hard against the communicator screen. “What is up with everyone today? They sent me these- weird fucking messages and then we get here and nobody’s here-”

“Who?” Sam’s lips press together. “You mean like- Fundy? Or Foolish?” They seem to be the ones that Quackity got messages from most frequently, if he remembers right. He doesn’t know for sure - usually, Quackity handles the social side of managing Las Nevadas.

“Fundy, Purpled, Foolish, Slime-” Quackity makes a vague, affronted noise. “All of them! Where the hell are they?”

Sam pauses.

“Q, when did Slime learn to use a communicator?”

“That’s the green one, right?” Both of them freeze, whirling around to the voice behind them, seeing nothing but the empty, arched doorway of the still-locked casino. “Naïve. Easy to fool.” The voice pauses, barks a sharp, quiet laugh. “Made my job easy, at least.”

The voice is familiar- too familiar. Sam doesn’t think he’ll ever get that cadence out of his head, not after months after months spent in the prison, hearing it in every possible tone and form. Quackity’s shoulders are hunched up to his ears, teeth bared in a snarl.

“Dream- I fucking swear- where the hell are you?”

“Aw, not so brave when the other person can actually fight back, are we?” Dream’s voice is lilting, mocking, and Sam’s hands tighten on the trident. “Fine, I’ll show myself. I’m not like you- no need to extend this game any longer than necessary.”

Dream slinks out from the shadows, wearing all black and covered in netherite armor, seeming fiddling with a small, grey thing in one hand. HIs stance is wide, torso pulled close to the ground - instead of a mask, his outfit includes a hooded black cloak that pulls down over his face, barely offering a glimpse of his eye glaring from underneath it.

“I’m giving you three seconds to tell me why the hell you’re in my country,” Quackity growls, sword forming in his hand, blade still crusted over with old blood, “And I’ll make your death half as painful as it’ll be otherwise.”

Dream laughs, high-pitched and unstable. “Please- what are you gonna do with that thing?” Quackity stalks forward with a low, wordless yell and Sam only barely manages to snag him back by the wrist.

“Watch it, Q,” Sam mutters, looking closer. Sure enough, there’s a faint, reddish haze rising from Dream’s body, only barely visible, interspersed with some lighter blue wisps. Strength and Speed. “He’s got potions.”

“Outmatched, aren’t we?” Dream cocks his head to the side, a tight-lipped smile visible under the hood’s shadow. “What a shame. I was hoping for a good fight.”

Quackity curses at him, loudly, but mullishly stays in place instead of lashing out like earlier, and Sam hisses a small sigh of relief. He looks back over at Dream - under the sun, he looks worse than ever, armor doing little to hide the gaunt edge of his face, limbs skinny and shaking. His hands tremble, wrists kept close together, as he continues to move the thing within them from hand to hand, small and grey and smooth from what he can tell in flashes between scarred and calloused fingers. He’s still favoring his left side slightly, but his eyes are cold and clear as they follow his every movement, clearly lucid and intelligent. Unfortunately for them, Dream is the best of fighters at the worst of times, and he has no doubt that with potions on his side and themselves relatively unprepared for battle, any fight with him won’t go particularly well.

Negotiation it is, then. “Why are you here, Dream?” If they stall long enough, then the rest of the server can come to back them up, and then even Dream won’t be able to fight back for long. He and Quackity can figure out what to do with him once he’s safely back under their control - for now, they have to play things safe. He pulls out his communicator carefully with one hand, trying to avoid drawing attention to his movements. “I doubt you’re here for a housewarming visit.”

Dream waves his hand slightly. “Something like that-” he bares his teeth in a small smile. “How about a housewarming gift, instead?”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Quackity bites, aggressive in a way that speaks of how threatened he feels, and the pit in Sam’s stomach only grows. Dream’s eye seems to glow as he turns and presses his hands to the nearby wall; when he pulls them back, there’s a stone button fastened on the quartz.

“Say, Quackity,” Dream’s voice is too light to be anything but forced levity, rolling his shoulders back to try and hide the way his entire body has begun to shake even more violently than before. “How much TNT do you suppose it took for Wilbur to blow up L’manburg?”

Sam gasps, low and harsh through his teeth, a quiet, breathless no falling from his lips. Quackity’s head shakes, eyes widening in fury and denial.

“No- no what the fuck did you do- Dream what the absolute fuck did you do-”

“Eleven stacks of TNT, to blow up that country to kingdom come.” Dream laughs, directing his wild, manic expression to look them in the eye. “The amount of TNT hooked up to this thing is ten times that.”

“You’re a liar-” Quackity rushes forward, sword raised, “I’m going to fucking kill you-”

Sam grabs him, again, ignoring his yells to look at Dream, who’s still standing, seemingly unruffled, one hand hovering over the button that’ll spell doom for them all.

“That’ll kill all of us,” he tries to reason, panic clawing up his lungs, “You’re on your last life. You can’t-”

“And what, Warden, makes you think I give a single goddamn fuck about that?” Dream’s voice cracks, slightly, and for a moment Sam almost thinks he’ll break, that he can press the point until the other backs down - but Dream is nothing if not stubborn, and within seconds he’s composed himself again, looking at them with a determined set to his jaw that Sam recognizes well enough from Quackity’s visits to know that he won’t back down. “Everyone else is far away from here. I made sure of that. It’s just you, and Quackity, and me, and I’m pressing this button if it’s the last thing I do. Call it a parting shot, will you?”

Sam pulls at Quackity, wrist still locked in his grip. “Q, we have to leave.”

“I’m not letting him destroy this place Sam, are you out of your fucking mind? This- Las Nevadas- it’s everything- I’m not letting him take this place from me not again-”

“He’s going to kill us all, Quackity,” he throws a water bucket at his feet, charging up his trident. The sign taunts him at the edges of the city borders, far too far away for any of them to even hope to reach. “We have to go now-”

“Say your goodbyes,” Dream taunts, and there’s a quiet click. Sam smells the faint, smoky smell of redstone being activated, hears a hum growing in volume from the ground beneath him. He looks over to Dream, who has a hand pressing the button to the wall, fever-bright eyes wide and wet as he stares at his own hand before shutting them with a soft, almost serene smile. “And see you in hell.”

The world goes white.

[Dream was blown up by Dream.]

[Quackity was blown up by Dream.]

[awesamdude was blown up by Dream.]

#-> my writing #my writing :D #my asks !!#-> my asks #tw torture #tw abuse #tw injuries #tw suicide #tw murder #tw explosion #tw death #tw violence #tw emotional distress #prison arc #pandora's vault

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thesetales-archive4 · 5 years ago

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what song do you associate with each muse?

okay so this took me forever lol, and i didn’t do it for ardyn, hannibal or blaine bc i ended up getting tired of looking for songs, but... here you go. i also put the parts of the lyrics to each song that i associate with each muse underneath the cut, for those who might be interested in why i picked the songs i picked. anyways, here goes:

ARTHUR FLECK: smile - jimmy duranteJOHN DOE: down with the sickness - disturbedJACE HUNTER: monster you made me - pop evilJOHN WINCHESTER: hurt - johnny cashNEGAN: hail to the king - avenged sevenfoldEDWARD NYGMA: numb - the cover version by jonathan youngJAMES GORDON: healing begins - tenth avenue northHARLEY QUINN: i’m gonna show you crazy - bebe rexhaSEAN MACGUIRE: my old man - zac brown bandARTHUR MORGAN: running gun - marty robbinsDAMON SALVATORE: whiskey fever - dorothy

ARTHUR FLECK: smile - jimmy durante

smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breakingwhen there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by. if you smile through your fear and sorrow. smile, and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through, for you. light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near. that's the time you must keep on trying. smile, what's the use of crying? you'll find that life is still worth while, if you just smile.

JOHN DOE: down with the sickness - disturbed

it seems what's left of my human side is slowly changing in me (will you give in to me?) looking at my own reflection, when suddenly it changes, violently it changes. there is no turning back now, you'vewoken up the demon in me.

get up, come on get down with the sickness, open up your hate, andlet it flow into me. get up, come on get down with the sickness. madness is the gift, that has been given to me.

i can see inside you, the sickness is rising, don't try to deny what you feel (will you give in to me?) it seems that all that was good has died, and is decaying in me.

JACE HUNTER: monster you made me - pop evil

take a good look at me now, do you still recognize me? am i so different inside? this world is trying to change me. and i admit i don't want to change with it, and i admit i can't go on like this anymoreerase this monster i've become. forgive me for all the damage done. it's not over, say it's not over. i'm begging for mercy, i’monly the monster you made me.i'm better alone now. see i'm torn from my mistakes. and i stop believing that i could ever make things change. how much can i take, when i know that it hurts you? how long can i wait, when icant go on like this anymore?because who i am isn't who i used to be. and i'm not invincible,i'm not indestructible. i'm only human. can't you see the beauty in me?take a good look at me now, can't you see i've changed?

JOHN WINCHESTER: hurt - johnny cash

i hurt myself today, to see if i still feeli focus on the pain, the only thing that's realthe needle tears a hole, the old familiar stingtry to kill it all away, but i remember everything

what have i become, my sweetest friendeveryone i know, goes away in the endand you could have it all, my empire of dirti will let you down, i will make you hurt

NEGAN: hail to the king - a7x

watch your tongue or have it cut from your head. save your life by keeping whispers unsaid. children roam the streets now orphans of war. bodies hanging in the streets to adore. royal flames will carve a path in chaos, bringing daylight to the night. death is riding in to town with armor. they come to take all your rights.

hail to the king, hail to the one. kneel to the crown, stand in the sun. hail to the king.

blood is spilled while holding keys to the throne. born again but it’s too late to atone. no mercy from the edge of the blade. dare escape and learn the price to be paid. let the water flow in shades of red now. arrows black out all the light. death is riding in to town with armor. they come to grant you your rights.

there's a taste of fear, when the henchmen call. iron fist to tame them iron fist to claim it all

EDWARD NYGMA: numb - linkin park cover by jonathan young

i'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. don't know what you're expecting of meput under the pressure of walking in your shoes. every step that i take is another mistake to you

i've become so numb, i can't feel you there. become so tired, so much more aware, i'm becoming this. all i want to do, is be more like me and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me. holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? 'cause everything that you thought i would be has fallen apart right in front of you. every step that I take is another mistake to you. and every second I waste is more than I can take

and i know i may end up failing too. but i know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

JAMES GORDON: healing begins - tenth avenue north.

so you thought you had to keep this up. all the work that you doso we think that you're good. and you can't believe it's not enough.all the walls you built up are just glass on the outside

so let 'em fall down. there's freedom waiting in the sound, when you let your walls fall to the ground, we're here now

this is where the healing begins, oh this is where the healing starts.when you come to where you're broken, within the light meets the dark.

afraid to let your secrets out. everything that you hide can comecrashing through the door now. but too scared to face all your fear, so you hide, but you find that the shame won't disappear

sparks will fly as grace collides with the dark inside of us. so please don't fight this coming light. the light meets the dark.

HARLEY QUINN: i’m gonna show you crazy - bebe rexha

there's a war inside my head, sometimes i wish that i was dead.i'm broken, so i called this therapist and she said, "girl, you can't be fixed, just take this"i'm tired of trying to be normal, i'm always over-thinking. i'm driving myself crazy. so what if i'm fucking crazy?

and i don't need your quick fix. i don't want your prescriptions. just'cause you say i'm crazy, so what if i'm fucking crazy? yeah, i’m gonna show youloco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath, yeah, i'm gonna show you, i’mgonna show you. yeah, i'm gonna show you mental out my brain, bat shit, go insane, yeah, i'm gonna show you

i've been searching city streets trying to find the missing piece like you said. and i searched hard only to find there's not a single thing that's wrong with my mind.

SEAN MACGUIRE: my old man - zac brown band

he was a giant when i was just a kid. i was always tryingto do everything he did. i can still remember every lesson he taught me, growing up learning how to be like my old man

he was a lion, we were our father's pride, but i was defiant, when he made me walk the line. he knew how to lift me up, and when to let me fall. looking back, he always had a planmy old man, my old man

feel the callous on his hands and dusty overalls. my old man, now i finally understand i have a lot to learn from my old man.

my old man, i know one day we'll meet again, as he's looking down. my old man, i hope he's proud of who i ami'm trying to fill the boot of my old man. my old man

ARTHUR MORGAN: running gun - marty robbins

i rode out of kansas city, going, south to mexico. i was, running dodging danger, left the girl that i loved so. far behind lay kansas city and the past that i had earned. twenty notches on my six gun marked the lessons i had learned.

many times i sold my fast gun for a place to lay my head. till the nights began to haunt me by the men that i lay dead. couldn't stand it any longer with the life that i'd begun, so I, said good-bye to jeannie and became a running gun. i rode into amarillo as the sun sank in the west, my thoughts in kansas city and the girl that i love best. as i smiled and kissed her gently and then turned around to go, said i'd send for her to meet me when i reached old mexico. i had barely left the saddle and my foot just touched the ground, when a cold voice from the shadows told me not to turn around.said he knew about my fast gun, knew the price paid by the law. challenged by a bounty hunter, so i turned around to draw.

i knew someday i'd meet him for his hand like lightning flashed, my own gun stayed in leather as his bullet tore it's path. as my strength was slowly fading, i could see him walk away, and i knew that where i lie today, he too must lie some day. now my strength is slowly fading and my eyes are growing dim, and my thoughts return to jeannie and the home that we had planned. oh please tell her won't you mister that she's still the only one, but a woman's love is wasted when she loves a running gun.

DAMON SALVATORE: whiskey fever - dorothy

woah mama don't you leave me alone, no tellin' what i'll do on my own. woah mama there's a pit in my soul, so deep i gotta fill it up now, fill it up now, fill it up now.whiskey whiskey whiskey fever, you're my evil, you're my evilwhiskey whiskey whiskey fever, you're my evil, you're my evil love

woah mama can't you say that i'm wrong, bad habits been busting my bones. hell mama’s gonna swallow me whole, god knows i gotta fill it up now, fill it up now, fill it up now.

#atnoctum #&*' outofcharacters. ( ooc.)

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kittae · 6 years ago

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Can i just sent in a possible title? If so; dream fever? I really like all of these! Your writing is really nice!

Dream Fever

↠ summary:

The Great Mother knew you were special since the day you were born and became a new addition to her tribe of nomads. Growing up, you’ve never had a single peaceful night. When everyone closes their eyes and their subconscious drifts off to other worlds, you get stuck in the same loop of terrifying images. Every night, they make you break out in cold sweat while your body burns up, something your grandmother calls ‘dream fever’. She has them too, she says. She tells you you’re gifted, like her.

Jungkook has never strayed from your side since the age you both could walk. Even now, he’s practically glued at your hip at all times and when you ask him why, he says ‘it’s because The Great Mother told him to’. You’d never questioned it until one night, when you have a particularly nasty fever dream before roughly getting woken up by your grandmother, Jungkook pulling you along to run and never look back.

“You really think you’ve been chosen to watch over me?” You inquire, one brow arched in scepticism upon hearing your best friend utter such a ridiculous statement.

“I know so.” He quips, not bothering to look up from his craft as he continues to chip off the edge of a dense stone.

“How so?”

“Well, for starters,” He begins, blowing on the stone to get rid of any leftover splinters, “I’m the best firemaker in the tribe. I also know how to hunt and skin prey, make tools and weapons and I’m the fastest runner. I’m pretty strong, too.”

You listen in silence, merely rolling your eyes as you wait until he’s done boasting.

“In any case, I don’t think it’s about watching over you as much as it is about letting you get comfortable around your mate.” He stops his labor for a moment to look up at you and smirk.

“What?”

idk why in the hell but here’s a 10 000 something BC?? Homo Sapiens cavemen?? Au?? lmao probably not what you had in mind but thanks for sending in a title sweetheart! 💞

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i’d write for it! 💖

#title game #ask #answered #Anonymous

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stevethehairington · 6 years ago

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Stucky? :D

Ahh thank you for this!! This is going to be a fun one to answer for sure, I can already tell!!

who hogs the duvet

Definitely Steve. In his defense though, before the serum Bucky would always give Steve his blankets, so Steve kind of just got used to having them all. And then once he got big, he had a habit of forgetting he was big and would just end up curling up in all the blankets, leaving Bucky to fend for himself. Though Bucky was always somewhat of a human heater anyways, so he doesn’t really mind too much.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

They both like to do this for each other, especially when they haven’t seen each other in a while. Steve might do it a little more, especially after Bucky comes back and while he’s recovering, but once he’s feeling better Bucky does it just as much back because he knows his Stevie still has a penchant for trouble.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

Hmm. Tbh I feel like they’re both pretty creative when it comes to gifts, especially since they really had to use this creativity back in the 30s/40s when they didn’t really have any extra money to be spending on gifts and had to make do with what they had. So yeah, they’re both really good at making something out of nothing for each other.

who gets up first in the morning

Steve. He’s a total morning person. Wakes up every morning at five to go on a run with Sam. Occasionally he’ll give himself the day off and sleep in, but very rarely. But Bucky? He Does Not rise with the sun. No sir. Bucky likes his sleep “like a normal human being, Steve” and he’ll sleep as late as you let him.

who suggests new things in bed

They both do. They like to keep things exciting so they’re definitely always willing to try new things, and they’re comfortable enough with each other to tell each other what exactly they want to try and whether or not they liked it.

who cries at movies

They both get sad and emotional over sad movies, but I feel like Bucky’s probably the one who usually ends up actually shedding a few tears. Steve might too, but he’s generally better at holding his emotions in when it comes to movies.

who gives unprompted massages

Tbh I could see them both doing it. I mean, they’re Avengers. That’s stressful on the both of them and I can definitely see them like going on separate missions or something and like when Steve gets home from a rough one and just sinks into the couch, Bucky will lean over the side and rub his back until all the stress of the day is gone, or Bucky gets back from a particularly intense training session with Natasha Steve will help him loosen up right away. They just both like making each other feel good.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

Okay I think we all know the answer to this one haha, Bucky 100%. He spent most of his life looking after Steve when he was bedridden with whatever illness or ailment struck next. And on the rare occasion that some sort of bug can get past the supersoldier serum and infect Steve, you bet Bucky’s at his bedside feeding him chicken noodle soup and making sure his fever breaks and that he’s got plenty of medicine in his system and is getting enough sleep and water.

who gets jealous easiest

I feel like they don’t really get jealous that often just because they’re that secure in their relationship. Like I mean come on they’ve loved each other for over a century so. But, I do feel like they could get jealous in different ways about different things. Like maybe after Bucky first comes back while he’s still recovering, he might get a little jealous of hos easy Steve has it with the rest of the Avengers, while some of them might still be a bit unsure about Bucky or on edge around him and he just gets frustrated about that and is envious of how easily Steve gets along with them all.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Steve and Bucky both have their fair share of embarrassing music they listen to, but I feel like Bucky embraces the hell out of it while Steve’s a little more reserved about it. Like Bucky will blast whatever cheesy radio top 40 pop song or whatever and just dance around to it and try to get Steve to join him, and Steve will resist for a little but eventually he’ll let himself be goaded into dancing around the kitchen with Bucky because he always does.

who collects something unusual

Hmm probably Bucky. I bet he has a knife collection or something lol. Or maybe he collects like Russian nesting dolls because he thinks they’re pretty and fun or something lmao.

who takes the longest to get ready

Bucky. 100% Bucky. I mean, have you seen that hair? You can’t just get that hair to look that good in a measly ten minutes. No way. This is the same man that looked like a grease ball before T’Challa told him his bf was coming to town and got himself all prettied up for him. Also, I just bet that back in the 40��s Bucky would always spend so much time slicking back his hair and putting on cologne and dressing all fancy with his polished shoes and stuff for all his dates, while Steve just waited by the door doodling or something and rolling his eyes every five minutes with a “c’mon, Buck, you look great, we’re gonna be late if you keep this up!”

who is the most tidy and organised

Also Bucky. Steve is just a disaster bi through and through in every sense of the word, and I mean come on friends, have you seen the way he just smashed into the wall while running around a corner?? A tidy, organized man would never. Bucky’s used to cleaning up after Steve’s messes, whether it be his bloody noses or the art supplies he left out, so he’s learned how to organize it all and clean it neatly.

who gets most excited about the holidays

Hmmmm. I think I’m gonna go with Bucky for this one as well. I feel like back in the 40′s, for Steve the holidays always meant cold weather and sickness and trying to gather and save enough money for gifts and feasts and whatnot and a stressed out mother taking on extra shifts and worrying about Steve even more. And for Bucky, he worried about this too of course, but he also had a big family, and he and his sisters and his mom and dad would always celebrate the holidays, and even though Steve and his mother were Irish Catholic and not Jewish like the Barnes’s (bc yes I HC that Bucky and his family were Jewish) they still always were invited to join in on the Barnes’s holiday celebrations because the Rogers’s were family too. But yeah they were always just slightly happier for Bucky so he generally likes them more and gets excited about them more. But, Steve doesn’t dislike the holidays and he does get excited for them too. It’s just not on the same level as Bucky who’ll pull out all the decorations and sing along to the music and watch all the movies and fully embrace the Holiday Spirit no matter what the holiday is.

who is the big spoon/little spoon

They 100% without a doubt share this. On bad nights for Bucky, Steve will hold him and make sure he feels safe from the nightmares. On bad nights for Steve, Bucky is there to be his rock, curled protectively around him. But, before Steve got the serum, Bucky usually was the big spoon just because it was easier for him to keep Steve warm that way. Though, he did let Steve spoon him as well when it wasn’t cold or anything. So even back then they shared it too.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

They can both get super competitive, but I feel like Steve might take it to the next level just a little bit more than Bucky. Steve’s not one to just give up. That’s not saying Bucky is either, but when it comes to games and sports Bucky is much more willing to take a step back than Steve is. Steve goes hard. So hard that one night the Avengers had a “Family Game Night” type thing and Steve may or may not have accused Tony of cheating and then flipped the game board to throw the game when Tony continuously claimed he didn’t and wouldn’t admit to cheating even though Steve saw him take that extra Monopoly hotel without buying it.

who starts the most arguments

Absolutely without a doubt Steve. This man is the most stubborn man on the face of the earth and he will fight tooth and nail about his beliefs no matter what they are, so of course this means he’s the one that usually starts the arguments. And even if Bucky points something out that proves him wrong instantly or whatever, he still will argue because he’s just that stubborn. He and Bucky know how to push each other’s buttons, but they never let it turn into anything serious or real. They know how to communicate when it really counts.

who suggests that they buy a pet

I feel like it’s probably Steve. They probably saw a really sweet puppy at the shelter or something and it just gave Steve the saddest, sweetest puppy dog eyes and he couldn’t say no and he somehow convinces Bucky that they should buy it because “Buck, he could make a great therapy dog for us!” and well Bucky can’t say no to Steve. And that’s how the ended up with a new puppy that still needs basic training, potty training, daily walks, etc. etc. etc.

what couple traditions they have

Okay well obviously they have their “til the end of the line” sappy ass bullshit. (”Maybe ‘til the end of the line’ will be our ‘always’) ((sorry i had to sfkdgld)) This line definitely absolutely 100% made it into their wedding vows. Without a doubt. I also really like the idea of them going dancing together, like maybe they find a modern dance hall that plays music from the 40′s and has a real old timey feel to it and Bucky loves to take Steve there as often as he can to swing him around the floor because now he can do that, and also Steve’s lungs won’t give out with the super intense dances and also Steve finally knows how to dance since he let Bucky teach him how. They like to take trips to Wakanda when they really need an escape, and T’Challa and co always welcome them with open arms. They are definitely the kind of sappy that would renew their vows like as often as possible really. Tbh I could go on and on about cute sappy couple things they love to do, but I won’t. I’ll just save that for future fics to write lol.

what tv shows they watch together

Ooh ooh okay they love watching those cooking competition shows together. They’ll get so invested in their favorites and they’ll be like cheering and yelling at the screen as the time ticks on like “NO JOHN NO! WHY WOULD YOU GO TO THE ICE CREAM MACHINE WHEN YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE LEFT!” and “SUSAN! YOU’RE PAIRING THAT FISH WITH THOSE VEGETABLES? ARE YOU NUTS?” and things like that.

what other couple they hang out with

Well, Bucky and Natasha are close so they like to go on double dates, Steve and Bucky and Natasha and Clint. They like to try and have dinner once a week with Sam and Riley, but they definitely hang out with them all the time too. And occasionally, they’ll accept invitations to dinner with Tony and Pepper.

how they spend time together as a couple

Listen when these two sappy ass motherfuckers are together alone they’re the softest, sweetest, mushiest in love dorks in the world okay. They like to be touchy feely with each other, but like I said only when they’re alone because they don’t want to overdo the PDA and make anyone uncomfortable. When they are around other people thought they’re still connected at the hip and they like to hold hands a lot and kiss each other’s cheeks or sometimes exchange chaste kisses on the lips when the time’s right. They really enjoy doing almost anything with each other. Adventuring, relaxing, you name it.

who made the first move

Ooh hmm. Well. They definitely were in love preserum, but it was that kind of pining from afar “he’ll never feel the same *wistful sigh*” kinda obliviousness. But then Steve and Bucky almost lost each other after Azzano and that kind of opened their eyes. I imagine that Steve was the one that brought it up. Like the whole, I thought you died without me ever getting the chance to tell you how I feel so I need you to just shut up and listen to me and he’s really nervous about this because he really doesn’t want to lose Bucky, like it would literally be even worse to lose him this way than to lose him to war because he literally just got him back and to not be able to have him in his life yet he’s still out there alive, actively choosing not to be part of Steve’s life would hurt so much more than him having lost his life in war. But. I feel like Steve’s sitting there nervously rambling on and apologizing about his feelings already and whatnot and he’s so focused on trying to get his words out that he doesn’t see the grin that’s overtaking Bucky’s face, how it’s the happiest he’s looked since Steve found him on that table, and he just cuts Steve off with a kiss and he’s just like you better not be sorry about this and Steve’s just like god no way and they kiss again and they probably try to keep it secret, but god are they bad at it. But thankfully the Commandos are all very good about it and they totally make an oath not to say a peep about Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers to anyone because love is love and fuck anyone who says anything else, but unfortunately not everyone agrees with that.

who brings flowers home

Steve! He’s a big ball of fluff so he loves surprising Bucky with a lovely bouquet that happened to catch his eye as he passed and he just couldn’t not get it for Bucky. He’s a true romantic, that one.

who is the best cook

Bucky for sure. Steve can’t cook to save his life lmao. Bucky on the other hand is a culinary genius. He’s definitely learned a thing or two from all those cooking competition shows they watch lol and he just really enjoys experimenting with foods and trying new recipes and things like that. And it all tastes really good too.

#asks #sapphiresnowflakes #stucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel #i love my boys #theyre so soft and in love #my hcs

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peachyteabuck · 7 years ago

Text

the fifth date

summary: the story of how you met your alpha

pairing: alpha!bucky x omega!reader. non-avenger!au

words: 1870

trigger warnings: some mentions of a divorce, shitty childhood/boyfriend, etc. they watch ahs and there’s some mention of murder bc of it but it’s not super descriptive, mentions of some nsfw stuff

ask box / masterlist / commission info / ko-fi

The minute Bucky met you on your first date, he knew you were the one. It was a blind one, set up by your mutual friend.

Bucky thought he was just an excuse to get him out of the house, but no. It ended being the best thing that ever happened him.

The way you laughed, the way you bit your lip, the way you asked him about his day, the way you crinkled your eyes when you smiled. You were perfect, still are. The perfect mate, the perfect life partner, the perfect lover.

The next day, he started nesting in preparation.

“Stevie, I swear. I know she’s the one!” he told his best friend while buying almost a truckload of blankets and pillows at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

“Whatever you say, Buck” Steve told him as he struggled to close the trunk of the car.

When they reached his apartment and piled all the plastic-covered bedding in the living room, he shooed Steve out. He’s an alpha, this is his job and his alone.

When he mother told him about the process of courting his father, he knew it was something special. The process of nesting, the buying and making and killing of gifts, the scenting the first time they mated. It’s such a beautiful, sacred ritual, Bucky knew he had to do it perfectly for you.

“Whoever you choose,” She told him. “Know that it isn’t just about making you feel good, it’s about building a strong foundation to a lifelong commitment.”

Bucky always listened to his mother, but this he held especially near to his heart.

On your second date, Bucky brought you cupcakes from your favorite bakery. You ate them together on your couch and introduced Bucky to your favorite TV shows.

You had a really hard day at work, and when you tried to cancel the fancy dinner date Bucky had planned for you, he refused.

If you wanted to sit a home in fuzzy socks, leggings, and a comfortable sweatshirt, then that’s what you were gonna do. The only condition is that you had to do it with Bucky.

“I feel like this is a shitty second date,” you told him while liking some stray frosting off of your finger.Your legs were draped over his, your back supported by a few pillows. All Bucky wanted to do was lay there, inhaling your scent. But you needed something to keep your mind off of one of the worst days of your career, and reruns of Dr. Phil sure as hell weren’t gonna do it.

“Nonsense,” he said, wiping a smudge of cupcake from the side of your mouth. Heat rushed to your face at the intimate contact. “This is the perfect second date.”

You laughed a little, eyes glued to the screen across the room. “And why is that?”

Bucky smiled down at you, using his metal hand to turn your face to him. He knew what you were doing, trying to avoid eye contact because you were scared of...well, actually, you weren’t sure what you were scared of. All you knew was that you were absolutely petrified. “Because I get to spend time with you.”

All you could do hide the warm feeling in your face, you and him laughing at the woman who had hidden not one, but two pregnancies from her overbearing in-laws. You fell asleep soon after, with you head on Bucky’s lap. He readjusted you so that you were on top of him, and rubbed your back while you slept off the day.

On your third date, Bucky basically asks you to mate with him. Kind of. Maybe.

“Do you wanna come back to my place?” he asked on your way home from dancing. That’s when you realized you had never seen it. Ever. You’d heard stories, heard him talk about his home. His large bachelor bad which he kept impeccably decorated for work. You were dying to see it, but you worried it was too early. He fell asleep at your apartment three days ago, why did you care so much about traditional timing.

“Mmm,” you say, genuinely thinking it over. “Depends on what you want to do after.”

He grabbed your hips, pulling your close to him on the street corner. It was surprising, but not unwelcome. The night air nipped at your sweaty, exposed skin and made you shiver. You leaned into him, watching the traffic go by.

“Anything you want, darling” he whispered into your ear. This, too, sent goosebumps all over your body.

You pushed him away. Lightly, playfully. A shove to let him know he needed to wait a little longer. Not a “never,” but a “not yet.”

Instead, you find some fast food place and eat your weight in french fries while you fight about the best tropical fruit. Bucky had argued pineapple, you chose mango.

At first is was friendly competition, but then it got heated. Now you were playing to win.

“I’ll kiss you if you agree with me,” You offered, munching in the last fry.

“Deal,” Bucky said, leaning over the couch for his smooch. It was your first kiss, but it felt like you had known his lips forever. It was beautifully and wonderfully cliche.

The day of your fourth date, you fell ill with a nasty cold. Your throat felt like a broken garbage disposal, your nose was running, your stomach hurt. You felt like the word “ugh.”

First you called out of work. Then you texted Bucky in an effort to cancel your date.

But, yet again, he wouldn’t let you. He texted back he’d be at your place with the perfect care package and that he was determined to take care of you.

You texted back he was being dramatic - it’s a cold, not pneumonia - and fell back asleep.

He showed up less than an hour later, knocking on your door with soup, Gatorade, ginger ale, and every season of American Horror Story.

Three pieces of toast and half the soup later, you’re cuddled under a thin blanket - the same one as last time, soaking up his warmth and comforting smell.

Occasionally, you’d use the cold of his metal arm to cool your forehead down. You weren’t running a big fever, you maybe were at 99 degrees, but it still felt really good.

“This is nice,” you murmured.

“Yeah.” he agreed, noticing your sleepiness. He turned the show down just as someone was being gutted, wanting to make sure you were able to get the rest you needed. You were cuddled in his chest, surrounded by him.

You felt safe with him wrapped around you, just like a good alpha should make you feel. After a short nap and two more characters brutally murdered, you start having deep conversations.

It started with him asking you met Steve and how you trusted him enough to set you up with his greasy, but adorable, best friend.

Bucky talked about how he lost his arm, how his prosthetic is one of kind. How he’s a lab rat, how it was the the only thing that got him out of losing his arm.

You talk about your childhood and how shitty it was. How you ended up with a shitty boyfriend in college who made you feel like shit all of time before you got up the courage to leave him two years after he asked you out.

“My old boyfriend never did this type of stuff with me.” you admitted. “He only liked to do stuff when he knew people he knew would be around. It’s like he needed someone else to get him through our dates.”

“Sounds like a real dick,” Bucky said. He traced the indents the blankets on your skin. He could stay right here forever, never moving again.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “He was. Almost made me swear off alphas forever.”

Bucky smiles, wide and toothy. “Glad you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” you joke. “Or else I wouldn’t have met the total hunk I’m cheating on you with…”

Bucky laughs, him lighting pushing you away in faux-disgust. “How could you!? Is it Steve, tell me it’s not Steve!”

It’s your turn to laugh, the deep cackles soon turning into coughs. You recover quickly, though, smile plastered on your face. This one’s a keeper.

You have your fifth date a few weeks after you feel better, both of your crazy work schedules preventing you from seeing each other sooner.

He takes you to an aquarium, and you both watch the sea turtles gliding through the water. It’s so beautiful, you’re both breathless from wonder.

After, he takes you to home. To his home, you mean. Or apartment. It doesn’t matter. It’s his.

He offers you a drink, which you gladly take. While he makes it, you take a look around. You admire the art, the beautiful decorating, the gorgeous marble countertops.

He gives you a tour, showing you around the kitchen, then the living room, then his office, then he bedroom.

The minute you step into it, you almost start crying. The large bed, the thick blankets, the distinct scent, the displaced furniture showing he had shoved his bed into the corner farthest from the door. All the signs were there.

“You started nesting,” you whisper, wiping tears from your eyes. The space is filled with Bucky, and it instantly makes you feel at peace, just like a good mate should. You feel so calm and happy and...is this what if feels like? To be in love? If so, you never want to let Bucky out of your sight. Ever.

“Yeah,” Bucky comes behind you, holding your back to his chest. “Knew we were gonna be mates the moment I first saw you, the night of our first date. Knew I wanted to be with you forever, and ever. Wanted to mark you. Wanted to be yours. Wanted to knot you real good. Wanted to make sure not a single shitty alpha ever touched you again.”

His brings his arms around you waist, talking lowly into your ear. “Then I heard about your awful boyfriend. About your parents bitter divorce. The custody battle. Knew you needed some lovin’, needed someone to show you how beautiful you are.”

He’s releasing calming pheromones, you can tell. It runs through you, sticks in your blood. The last few weeks have been hard, on both of you. This, whatever this is, is exactly what you need.

The pheromones release your tense muscles and give you a moment to forget the shittiness of everything.

He kisses your neck and you whimper. You got to grip his hips behind you and he rubs between your thighs.

“Eager, are we?” Bucky asks, his baritone voice sends shockwaves through your spine. It’s amazing, like a drug.

“Yes,” you moan. Your skin is on fire and it feels so fucking good.

He sets you down on the bed, pulling your clothes off. Your body is flush against the pillows and you feel so exposed. Normally, you’d be uncomfortable, but you trust Bucky. Trust him a lot. Trust him with everything.

“Then let’s get started, my beautiful little omega.”

You moan again. “Let’s, wonderful alpha. Let’s.”

#bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #Sebastian stan #barnes #marvel fanfic #lukis writes stuff #bucky barnes fanfiction

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just-folie-a-deux-it · 7 years ago

Note

Fluffy ryden headcanons?

I feel like everyone could really use these right now so I’m gonna do a bit more than usual just to spread some love

It being super cold for whatever reason (we have a hard freeze going on rn) like, below freezing cold and Brendon hates the cold because his fingers get numb and he shakes and it’s annoying and if he gets too cold he’ll cry just from being frustrated, so when Ryan hears he starts to prepare. By which I mean he gathers all of the blankets in the house and takes them downstairs and piles them in front of the fireplace where he starts a fire and then goes to make hot tea and hot cocoa and any other hot drink he can think of, and then he picks out Brendon’s warmest flannel pajamas and puts those next to the blankets. By the time Brendon gets home the living room is a warm, golden area that smells sweet and safe, and Ryan strips him down before dressing him in his pajamas and piling into the blankets with him pressing sweet kisses all over his face as they warm up together

Brendon getting really sick and he’s just delirious from fever so he whines and cries a lot, and even though Ryan gives him medicine as often as he can, Brendon still has aches and his nose is stuffy and he’s nauseous and can barely hold anything down. Ryan finds that the only thing that soothes him is singing, so he spends an actual 24 hours straight holding Brendon in his arms and rocking him while he sings any song he can think of, which ranges from Beatles jams to Frank Sinatra (the only songs he knows are the ones Brendon sings in the shower) to some Bowie to fuckn’ Kesha when his brain runs out of all the romantic shit. Brendon doesn’t seem to mind, it’s just the sound of Ryan’s voice that keeps him calm and helps him sleep.

Ryan having a really stressful week, so he’s so tired every time he comes home from work, but he still tries to spend all the time with Brendon he can even though he’s really spacey and can’t always pay attention to what Brendon’s saying and he just keeps falling asleep everywhere. He falls asleep on the couch watching TV with Brendon and he falls asleep eating and he falls asleep in the middle of sex, and Brendon ofc realizes just how tired Ryan has to be so once it’s Friday and Ryan gets home, Brendon just pulls him upstairs and takes a shower with him (Ryan sits on the tub floor and Brendon washes his hair) and then he tucks Ryan into bed and plays with his hair and sings to him softly while he sleeps, finally getting some rest. He doesn’t wake up until well into the afternoon, but when he does Brendon has breakfast ready for him and brings it to him in bed

Brendon feeling really self-conscious one day, so Ryan takes the time to write out every single thing he loves about Brendon. It ends up taking him actually the whole day, because every time he thinks he’s finished he remembers something else. That night he kisses Brendon so softly it makes his heart skip, and between each kiss he whispers one of the things he loves about Brendon. Brendon, ofc, cries, but he also never doubts that he’s important and loved, at least to Ryan, and that’s all that really matters to him

Ryan and Brendon both struggling to decide what to get each other for their anniversary, and they made a rule that it can’t be a song and it can’t be something sex-related because that’s just too easy. Brendon decides he wants to make something for Ryan all the same so he tries drawing a picture but he’s absolutely terrible at that, so then he tries to paint a mug for him bc everyone loves mugs, but it ends up being this gross brown-green color bc his paint got all mixed up, so then he tries writing Ryan a poem (which is NOT the same thing as a song) but that just sounds shitty so in the end he just buys Ryan a new guitar even though he wanted to do something original. When he gives it to Ryan, Ryan has a new piano for him and they both kind of laugh and Ryan’s like “Yeah I tried making you something but it didn’t go well” and it turns out he tried knitting Brendon a sweater (which looks like it’s got three sleeves and two head holes) and then tried sculpting a figurine of the two of them (two very lumpy mounds that are connected by what could be arms?) and then for the hell of it tried macaroni art (there’s still glitter in his hair) and they both laugh about that and still give each other the shitty gifts which they actually love more than the nice expensive instruments

#ryden #everyone just take some deep breaths and take it one step at a time #anyone can send me a message or an ask if they want #Anonymous

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guardiandae · 8 years ago

Text

OKAY it’s time for that write up about my trip to Boston

aka Why I’m Glad I’m Still Alive and also Dae Makes Bad Life Choices And Needs To Be Grounded :c

(long, long post)

okay so, my friend H takes a trip down to Boston every year to visit her friend D who goes to college there. She invited me to go a few days beforehand, and as luck would have it I managed to arrange to have Friday & Saturday off work, and Sunday closing shift, so I could make it down there and back.

Of course, I had a runny nose and stuff beforehand... and then the night before (Thursday night, I think) I had a really hard time at work bc I felt feverish... I got home and my temp went up from 99.6 (which is already 100% a fever for me, my temp runs low) to 101.3 during the night. I kept waking up every three hours, and I had to get a bag of ice to press against my head. I went to bed early but slept in longer than I expected so I got like 13 hours of sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, aside from a sore throat. Actually, my throat does this fun thing where from time to time, it will close up on me and I can’t breathe. It can happen even from drinking water. So I took cough syrup and my throat closed up. Yikes. No more cough syrup for me, just cold & flu tablets! I can’t remember the other incident, maybe I drank something harsh, but I remember it did that twice, two times in two days. So, yeah. Gotta be careful what I drink with this sore throat.

Friend wants me to spend Friday night at her house so we can leave at 3am Saturday. So I go to H’s house, with her boyfriend T. My throat is like, raw as fuck. We hang out, they pack, and we all take a nap before we leave. I get like another 3 hours of sleep, then we all get up and hit the road.

We pick up T’s friend, S. My friend H keeps trying to hook me up with S despite the fact that I am 1. gay 2. asexual 3. not interested in douchebags. And she’s been teasing me about the fact that, S and I will have to share a bed at the hotel. My god. Mind you, the plan she has in Boston is to take me to a strip club and I’m like, sdgkdfkgjd. No? Maybe. No.

We stop at a gas station and I get myself a big powerade for my RAW AS FUCK throat. Swallowing is seriously painful at this point. My friend swaps seats to sit beside me in the back, so now T and S are in the front. THEY FUCKING START CHAINSMOKING ALL THE WAY DOWN. So they have their windows cracked, freezing cold air pouring in, secondhand smoke making my eyes water and lungs burn, all the way down. Maybe at most they would stop for two minutes and then, boom, another FUCKING cigarette. On top of that, they listened to really gross rap music on the way down, like violent, sexually-explicit, drug-endorsing songs that were just honestly annoying lyrics aside, total crap, lol.

My friend and I show each other memes (she pronounces it me-me and I think it’s too funny to correct her) all the way down. We arrive at her friend D’s campus at about 6am. He has keys to all the buildings and has to make rounds, so we’re going to walk with him all across his campus.

D is a really interesting dude. My friend H told me, “he’s a bible-thumper” beforehand and I was like, eh. great. But he’s this 40-ish year old guy going to a religious college studying to be a minister. He’s super friendly and considerate as soon as we meet him. It’s 6am in January, fairly warm considering the time of year, but I’m still in just my hoodie and SICK, so while I was kind of excited for the experience, my body is so not. We’re going from building to building, up flights of stairs and back down again, and I am wheezing. My voice is pretty rough at this point too.

But let’s talk about the school, and the setting, because... I love it.

In Maine (my state) the trees here are mostly pines, maples, oaks, etc.

But in Boston, I’m not sure what kind of trees they might be, but my gosh. It’s a grey, chilly day (my favorite weather 100% honestly, too bad I was sick) and the trees are bare. Their branches are all twisted in different directions, like the fingers on an old man. Ever seen those kind of forests from creepy horror movies? They are just like that and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Most of the buildings on campus are very old, so some of them still have old fashioned latches, like the thumb-latches in my grandfather’s house.

The other thing I really loved about the campus, is that the students attending are actually very liberal and diverse, despite the religious focus. As D put it later, the other three people in our group, H, T, and S, doubled the population of straight (and cis) students by being on campus. Haha.

Anyway, I survive running around campus, and then we head down to catch the Green Line subway into town. At this point, I really wish I had realized we were going to be gone from the car for several hours, because I would've at least grabbed my hat. :c

This is the first time I've ever been on anything like a subway and I'm so glad that we had D with us to be our guide, because it was so confusing. The car was packed with people because of the Women's March going on. I don't know how this compares to other subways, but this went pretty fast and had a lot of hills and turns, and with every change in momentum I'm hanging onto the rail for dear fucking life trying not to fall over. My friend H has a lot of anxiety, especially around crowds of people, and riding this subway itself, so she is SHAKING and trying really hard to just hold on and get through the ride, and so am I. We get off a big station and decide to go up and walk the rest of the way instead of waiting for the next car, because my friend and I are curious to see the march going on.

We ended up walking around a lottt down all of these different side streets. H, T and S wanted to find a big tall building to go all the way to the top floor and take pictures, so we kept trying to enter different buildings at random, and most of them were locked and one we were politely told to leave, lol.

The whole walking around event was kind of more random than planned... we ended up at Bruins arena which I think was my friend's only actual goal, so she could buy her brother a gift. We saw tons of protesters everywhere and I got one of the pink hats from a nice lady who brought extras. But after that, our wandering was pretty aimless. We headed towards Boston market (still trying to find tall buildings) and accidentally stumbled onto the Holocaust memorial.

H and I were like 'oh... damn' and of course, I had to go in. The memorial consists of four towers made of panes of glass, with steam inside rising up. When I walked into the first one, the panes of glass had quotes from survivors of the Holocaust written on both sides in side, and on every single pane of glass, going up to the sky, there were the serial numbers the nazis tattooed onto people. I took a few pictures, but once I entered that first tower I put my phone away because it just didn't feel right. We walked through and read each quote... I was trying not to cry because the two guys with us (D excluded) were pretty douchey and I wasn't sure they even would, y'know, care. But when I read one of the quotes about the homosexuals being put into the death camps, I definitely cried and I was like, yeah. This is why we fight. This is why we can't stop fighting.

When we left, H was pretty shaken too (the quotes about children were the ones that got to her the most, I think) and D suggested that we head to the farmer's market to try to lighten up the mood. While we were walking there, S decides to ask a question, in a suspiciously condescending tone of voice, "I wonder what the founding fathers would think about all of this."

The rest of us were like, ??? "Think about what?"

S: "You know, the protests that are going on right now."

Guys, my voice was half gone but you know I clapped back.

"They'd probably think that they're exercising their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS??? What do you think the founding fathers did against the British???"

Then he said something about how, people keep pushing and pushing for more rights, and he thinks that's a bad thing because it just ends up dividing people into more and more different groups and takes away rights from others. At this point I was like, HOLY SHIT, this fucking white boy is one of those people who thinks that EQUAL RIGHTS means his rights are somehow being TAKEN AWAY from HIM. Like, you DO realize that my great-great grandmother and your great-great grandmother didn't have the fucking right to vote??? and in MY lifetime, I had to go fucking vote on my right to get MARRIED??? It didn't take away SHIT from poor helpless straight white men, it just GAVE more people the SAME FUCKING RIGHTS. HOLY FUCK.

So anyway we headed on to the market area, checked out the Newbury Comics store and I was exciiited bc I found a cute pair of knee-high socks to buy (my new aesthetic). But while in pursuit of my knee-highs, I wandered too close to the Dick's bar, and at this point everyone was ready to drink/eat and had been searching for a bar for a while. There were sooo many to choose from, including really nice looking Irish bars, and historic old bars, which I actually wanted to check out. But which bar did we go to? The fucking cock-themed bar.

They ordered drinks. I just sat by them kind of uncomfortably bc everything is not only "I love dicks" but the mascot is a sleezy overweight balding man and the waitress makes fart jokes. Like. For real. But I'm watching the tv, making small talk with D (who is awesome) and H, while S and T get drinks and fries. Some guy brings his CHILD into this establishment, and is apparently very familiar with their theme bc he plays right along with the waitress's fart jokes like he sees her every Saturday or something. What the hell. Then the party at the opposite end starts putting on these huge condom hats made out of white paper. I can hear a child crying on the other side, maybe the same kid. Why the fuck. And then the waitress starts kind of badgering ME now, like, "Why are you just sitting there without a drink?" I tell her, in my really hoarse voice, "If I have any alcohol I'm pretty sure I will stop breathing" and she's just like "Well it's not like you can't have a water or a juice" (me: where the fuck is there water or juice advertised ANYWHERE on this shitty menu??? also the food was ridiculously overpriced otherwise I would've been happy to order >_< ) and then I look over and realize that, S has already had two beers, but he JUST ordered a fucking THIRD. Now I'm angry and I tell my friend I don't wanna sit in this (shitty) bar all day, so I'm going to head to the comic store again.

Comic store is right across the street.... but... I'm legitimately pissed off right now, so as soon as I step outside I'm like, actually, lol, fuck off, bye, I'm gone.

And I just keep walking, back the way we came in. I sit down at a bench for a while, half thinking that D or H had followed me, but nobody had. So I'm like, cool, and contemplating actually buying a train ticket home if I had to. But I'm sick as fuck and my legs are killing me and my lungs are wheezing and it's cold and I know that no train goes all the fucking way home, so I'm like, :)))

I decided to go and see something that *I* wanted to see so I looked at my phone and saw the Samuel Adams statue was nearby. They texted me "where are you" and I told them Sam Adams (of course, knowing them they probably looked for a damn bar). But I got lost getting to the statue, lmao, bc it was RIGHT BESIDE ME and I was expecting something larger and headed towards a crowd of people instead. By the time I circled back, I hung up on like three phone calls and ignored several texts, just texted back again "sam adams" when they asked where I was. Took a picture of the statue, then sat down again and waited. Still more texts and calls to not respond to. Finally I was really annoyed but got up to go back to the bar and was thinking, if they aren't here, I'm fucking off again, lol. But they were there and ... my friend H was in tears.

Uh oh. Nice going, Dae.

I put my frustration aside and just fell back into step... she didn't talk to me for a little while. I felt like such an asshole. It was only later I saw some texts that hadn't come through then... half of them already had their phones dead, the others were almost dead, and they'd texted me that they were going to head to the car without me and pick me up in a couple hours. Of courese, my phone was low battery too. I almost fucking stranded myself in Boston, extremely sick, with no cellphone, please ground me.

We went back to the subway (there was another station right near to us, thankfully, so no long walk), and rode all the way back to our original station. Then we had to trek back UP the hill we came down from the campus... I was wheezing hard.

Everyone crashed in D's room for a while. I collapsed on the couch and they all went into the bathroom to smoke pot. I considered leaving to the car to get my phone charger but was like, if I do they'll probably think I bailed again. and then I could literally hear them talking about me, and S saying, "I bet when we come out, she'll be gone again" and I just... felt so angry at him but also like such an asshole bc I'm sick and having a miserable time when I WANT to have fun but instead I'm being a bitch and I can't help it. And they want to drink and get high and I don't like either of those things even when I'm NOT sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, so fuck no I'm not doing that, thanks.

I think after that we finally went to our hotel bc it was check in time (3pm). My friend had reserved the room but they wouldn't let her pay because her card didn't have her name on it, and the others only had cash, so I stepped up to put the room on my card. It made me feel better about being there at all, because they literally wouldn't have had a place to stay (this was a fairly long drive away from Boston).

We went out to eat and this is where S shows once again how much of an asshole he is...

I'm not sure WHERE this came from, but out of the blue while we're sitting in this restaurant, S says something like, "If a drunk girl tells me to fuck her and then she passes out, I can tap that without getting in trouble."

Yeah... I'm positive I didn't remember that right but the statement he made didn't make ANY sense.

All four of us (D, H, T, and myself) were like, ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is RAPE.

D and I start trying to explain, for one, UNCONSCIOUS = no, and two, in this hypothetical she gave her "consent" while drunk, and you cannot legally consent while drunk!

"But what if we're both drunk"

We're trying to explain that technically neither could consent, it's a risky situation, and then he goes,

"So what if my ex texts me and says 'come tie me up and have your way with me'."

D is like, "I can't even begin with how many variables there are in that situation."

Me: "It depends. Is she sober? Is it actually HER texting? Is she going to say no when you get there?"

S: "She'd have to prove that it wasn't her texting..."

We kept talking about this and trying to explain like, the limits of consent and finally T is like, "Why are we talking about this?"

D and I: "Because it came up and it's worth talking about! There are a lot of people who don't understand."

But anyway, we pretty quickly dropped the topic, but I cannot get over the fact that S randomly said that he'd fuck an unconscious woman. And I am expected to share a bed with him at the hotel.

I was super super pissed with S at this point like, this actual FUCKBOY, first he thinks that equal rights means his rights get taken away, now he's stated that he'd rape somebody?? like?? get the fuck away from me, permanently.

We had to drive D back to his room and it's dark outside now.

I haven't yet mentioned, but as beautiful as Boston is to walk around, the roads are crazy and driving is a fucking nightmare. There are some normal streets but almost everything connects directly onto a highway (at least where we were... and I'm not sure if highway is the right word bc fuck if I know anything about driving but they are SCARY multi-lane roads). The highways are like 4, 3, or 5 fucking lanes of people driving like there's no speed limit, cars constantly switching lanes and assholes flying past us.

All of that is scary enough, but worse is that:

- T is the one driving, because H is too scared to drive in Boston traffic. - T does not have a license. - The car's left blinker doesn't fucking work, so switching lanes to the left is a deathwish. - Did I mention the drinking and getting high? Yeah. - Also, the chainsmoking resumes and I am in fucking misery.

We manage to drop D off, and they had mentioned the fact that they HAVE the lightbulb for the back blinker, but didn't take the time to install is before leaving. D had mentioned that he could probably do it. So I'm like, hey, how about we do that? D takes a look and realizes that it'd take some time to take apart, but he'd be able to do it with some assistance. T is like, nah it'd take some work, and I'm disheartened (bc I want this car to be as legal as fucking possible bc if we get pulled over I'm 100% sure that I'm fucked on getting home, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I might charged with something just for being with these guys. Idk if that's even rational but honestly.) but they agree to just deal with it later.

We get back to the hotel and H and I decide to go swimming in the pool. It's honestly one of the highlights of the trip for me bc I rarely get to go swimming, so we enjoyed ourselves for a while, talking about how T and S were kind of annoying both of us. The guys were getting alcohol and stuff while we swam, and they drank some and then joined us. It was kind of funny bc H had worn her bikini bottom but also swim trunks over them, and S didn't have anything to wear to swim in, so she gave him her trunks. They fit him so tightly lmaoo. The guys were splashing around, goofing off, and at this point I'm less angry and more just like, letting it all go, I know I don't like S whatsoever, he's fucking dumb, but I don't want to be hostile and I'm trying as much as possible to not be a huge bitch and a wet blanket, so it's whatever. We joked around a lot, and had fun, and finally got out of the pool when it was closing. But it was really awkward bc they had to go to change and T had gone into the women's room with H so I had to stand outside and wait to change my clothes... and I could hear H yelling at him about... peeing wildly everywhere? Oh my god. I don't even wanna know. It was one of those moments where I was like, there is nudity beyond both of these doors and I am probably forever going to be not comfortable with that. It's kind of a bizarre and shitty realization that everyone else is on a different plane of existence. Like, I'm the weird one because I don't wanna see dicks flopping around. Huh.

Rinsed off, changed clothes, went back upstairs, blow dried my hair and flopped onto the bed. At this point, I'm physically worn down but.... not.... tired. So I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep. But they want to run around, and ask about the strip club plans, and my friend is like, "Dae said she didn't want to go" (which is true, I told her no because I'm very sick and felt uncomfortable about the whole idea anyway) but the guys are like, "You're killing us, we're not going?" and she's like, "Are we?" and I'm so sick and tired at this point that I'm like, "Actually yeah let's go" and get up and get dressed again, ready to impress, ready to jump in and see some ladies and titties and see how uncomfortable I feel about it all.

We get into the car, and all of us have been trying to see what the nearest strip club is... there really isn't one. What the nearest bar is... eh. We're trying to find something really close by, because the guys have been drinking and T has no LICENSE and the car blinker is broken so instead I'm like, "Where's the nearest Walmart?" over 100 miles away jfc. "Where's the nearest target?" Less than a mile away. Awesome! My mood is UP bc we're going to Target, now this is my idea of a good time.

Yeah, no. My phone is a piece of SHIT and they refuse to even look at it, but their phone won't update fast enough while we're driving and we CAN'T FUCKING MERGE LEFT because we'll be killed in this traffic, so we have to go to the right. We see other stores and want to go to them, but the problem is, when we turned right we already missed that opportunity. And this road merges directly into a fucking interstate. And we cannot turn off of it. And now we are going 80 mph in the wrong direction and have to take the next off ramp.

For the next fucking 30 minutes at least, we are desperately trying to get our fucking phones to tell us where we are and where we need to go. Everything loops in circles, because of the highways and off ramps. We keep missing fucking turns and ending up in even more of a tangled mess. Our phones did not charge up much at the hotel and are on the verge of dying once again and we cannot fucking turn LEFT. T and S are getting frustrated, I'm convinced I'm going to fucking die, and H is having an anxiety attack, texting me like, "This is my car and if we crash everyone is going to get hurt and it's my fault" and I'm like... can we please fucking stop somewhere and just fix the fucking light.

By the time we finally make it back to where we belong, we just go straight to the hotel. So fucking much for strip clubs, or bars, or even Target. Fuck that noise. We aren't driving anywhere after all, we all agree on that and we're all really frustrated and stressed.

I ask again like, even if it takes a while we should really fix the light bc driving down to Mass we had the same problem, and we're going to keep having that problem until we fix it, but the guys are like, we'd have to take apart the whole back end, if it were a quick fix we'd have done it already. In the daylight it'll be okay, it's really just at night that's the worst because all they see is our tail lights, and a lack of left blinker means someone might get killed. So I'm like, alright and let it go.

We get snacks from the vending machines, and crash in the hotel room again. Despite all the hyped talk from the guys about drinking and drugs (seriously, S was like, "Let's go get some ecstacy or heroin" before we left on that horrific ride, and H was like "UHHHH NO, NOT HAPPENING." He also talked about forcing girls to choke on his dick, so if anyone was wondering if he learned anything from the Consent Discussion, the answer is, probably no. And people wonder why I have sex anxiety jfc.)

Thankfully, I crashed on one bed, and H, T, and S all crashed on the other bed... probably bc they didn't want to catch my germs tbh. I heard S saying "bacterial pneumonia" to his phone.

Sleep was... hellish. I woke up at 4am, SHAKING uncontrollably and had to turn up the heat for a while. I think I was running a fever so it didn't help me at all.. after that I had to press a cold drink against my forehead and didn't fall asleep again until 6am, and we all get up around 8:50am.

Btw, the hotel was pretty shitty... a bunch of ants were under my shoes at the indoor pool when I picked my shoes up... they were coming up from the vents because I guess I stepped in something sugary. H freaked out a bit. Then in our 3rd floor room, there was another of those ants on my pillow. Nice. The breakfast service was shitty. The only edible thing for me was the apple juice, the rest of it was awful cheap stuff. We went to burger king instead, which H had wanted for breakfast anyway. My voice was nearly gone at this point and I had to type my order onto my phone and let the cashier read it. The burger king was also super shitty lmao it was under construction but the bathrooms were just, awful and unkept. We realized we had to head straight home now in order to get back in time for everything H and I had to do, so we got straight onto the highway.

Once again... terrifying traffic, and the difficulty of merging to the left. Every time T had to merge, I had to close my eyes and post facebook statuses like "pray for me because I am going to die." At this point, T and S are like, "We should've just fixed the light before we left" and I am like, internally fucking screaming BECAUSE I SAID THAT ALREADY OH MY GOD. Also, CUE THE CHAINSMOKING AGAIN.

I got dropped off directly at my work a couple hours before my shift, and then worked my closing shift.

Remember, at this point I've had very little sleep and fevers every night since Friday... my voice is just a whisper, I spent hours walking around Boston, hours awake at night, I should be exhausted but I am wide the fuck awake. By the time I finally got home, I still didn't even fall asleep until almost 2am.

So yeah.... I'm not even sure how to summarize my trip to Boston and how it made me feel. Everything was really random and accidental. It took a long time for it to occur to me, holy shit I am in BOSTON, historic Boston, and should be taking pictures and seeing the Freedom Trail and actually interesting stuff like that, but it didn't seem to occur to any of us until the day we had to go back and H wwas like, "I wish I'd taken more pictures." I wish I had too, especially of the march, but since I ws sick before I even left, I actually wasn't even aware that the marches were going on, I was completely out of the loop. It's something I was super excited about and would've never been able to go to normally, but somehow I accidentally happened to end up there at the right time.

In all it was, frustrating, miserable, beautiful, surprisingly nice and diverse, historic, terrifying, stupid, and extremely lucky. Lucky that we managed to arrange the trip on short notice, lucky that we didn't die on the way down, lucky that I happened to be there for a huge protest event that I was able to partake in at least a tiny bit, lucky that I didn't have to go to the strip club after all, lucky that we didn't get arrested, lucky that we made it back safely, lucky that I didn't chop S's dick off and shove it down his throat. I think I might've used up all of the luck for the next ten years, and I'm a bit frightened.

For those keeping score at home,

Reasons Why Dae Needs to be Grounded:

- going on a trip with sketchy drug dealing wannabe-gangsters who are racist, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic dumbasses - going on this trip while extremely sick - ditching my friend and the group while extremely sick, in a strange city, with all of our cell phones dying, and ignoring their calls - swimming in the pool while extremely sick (I broke the pool rules whoops) - getting BACK into the defective car with a driver who had been drinking and has no license, at night - going to work directly after this trip, while extremely sick - still trying to talk while my voice is 99% gone - not cleaning my room (it’s so messy help) - staying up late at night to type this instead of sleeping

and now my throat feels much better but I’ve 100% lost my voice and can only communicate through strained whispers and interpretive dance.

but I have tomorrow off and I plan to finally.... rest.

assuming that I can even fall asleep.

#I'm sorry mobile users if you had to scroll this whole thing #long post #dae makes bad life choices #please ground me #I'm honestly thankful to be alive #bc I'm convinced I should be dead several times over

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