#bc i recognize some of these urls in their notes and i do not want these mfs following me
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oooo girl i am STEAMING. never in my life have i wanted to send anon hate but TODAY. TODAY I DO!!
#i won’t. but they restricted replies on their most egregious post#so i can’t call them a waste of stem cells properly.#how do i block everyone who follows a blog in one fell swoop.#bc i recognize some of these urls in their notes and i do not want these mfs following me
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tag game ✨
thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')
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1. why did you choose your url?
bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows
4. do you have a queue tag?
i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved
7. why did you choose your header?
wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after
9. how many mutuals do you have?
way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha
10. how many followers do you have?
more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥
11. how many people do you follow?
quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts
mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them
16. do you like tag games?
yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^
17. do you like ask games?
also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha
but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!
and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥
third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!
20. tags?
want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!
#tag game#thank you a ton zey this was so much fun!!!#i hope you're doing well and having a good summer ♥
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I haven't spent the last 10+ years of my life on this site curating my dash to EXACTLY what I want to see in it for you @staff to come and forced an algorithm on me!!! DON'T YOU DARE!! That would make me consider to leave (even there's nowhere else I'd like to go bc the rest of social media sites are shitter). This is my hellsite, and I want to stay here, so don't fuck it up!
Do you want to make things better for users? How about fixing the search engine within the site? I'm positive that the user base at large will be eternally grateful if every time we search for a post we could actually find it! We don't need you to tell us what we should look at; let us seek what we want to see.
And oh! You know what else would make things better for us? Getting rid of Tumblr live, or at least let people turn it off permanently as any other feature on this site. I know why you got the thing on, and I get that money needs to come from somewhere to make the site profitable, but can you really tell me that a significant portion of the userbase is actually using that?!? Because from I can see, nobody is.
And stop babying people. This site is not difficult to use. Let me tell you that, back in the day, I had much more trouble understanding how twitter worked than I ever did with Tumblr, and this was in the ancient wild days. Anyone who doesn't understand how the site works is because they're used to get things thrown at their face, content being spoonfed to them, and having no active role in shaping their experience to their liking. Do you really want to contribute to the mindless content consumerism rampart on the internet right now?! Especially when Tumblr prided itself for the opposite?!!
Faciliting conversations, yeah, ok, that would be nice. That includes the ability to choose which blog you reply a post from (main or side blog), right? At least when you're the original poster using a side blog. It would be very very very cool if you allowed that. Sometimes, you want to keep your main blog completely separate from side blogs and people is more likely to recognize the url if they follow the side blog not the main. I understood the need not to allow that before, probably making more difficult for haters to harass other people under the protection of a different url, but if now you can track anonymous asks to users (since they have to be logged in to send said anonymous), you can do the same thing with side blogs.
Just looking at how I started this reply (and other gazillion answers in the notes), you can tell you might be jeopardizing the current base if you implement some of these changes and you don't give a choice for opting out of them. Don't lose the faithful users just trying to catch potential users that will never come here in the end (talking about those users way to used to algorithms). That's a bad play, guys. Seriously, remember the exodus after the nsfw ban? This one could be way worse. Just saying!
"Push notifications and emails are essential tools to..." No, there are not!! Most people turn those off anyway. Just ask anyone. And in my case in particular, i hate getting emails. If you force me to get them because i have push notifications off, I'll hunt you down!! Altho, I admit that getting a notif when a poll is over is cool. But that's my choice. It's my decision to what and how i get the notifications, not yours.
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I was going to post this, but i saw the update staff did, saying that the chronological order is staying as it is, and the other algorithmic stuff can be toggle off in the settings (e.g., best things first). Ok that's great! But why would you put it the way you did in the original post, then?!!
The first thing you should've said was that the new changes you want to implement will be optional!! Because as it's written, it didn't sound that way.
Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy
Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.
The Diagnosis
In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience.
Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content.
To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.
Our Guiding Principles
To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.
Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Retain and grow our creator base.
Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.
Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.
Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up.
We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.
Actions & Next Steps
Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.
Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.
Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.
The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.
Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant.
Actions & Next Steps
Deliver great content each time the app is opened.
Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are.
Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds.
Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.
Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.
Actions & Next Steps
Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.
Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs.
Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.
Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread.
Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads.
Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed.
Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.
Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.
Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.
The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.
It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.
Actions & Next Steps
Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it.
Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.
Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.
Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.
Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.
Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.
Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.
Actions & Next Steps
Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.
Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.
Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages.
Test what the right daily push notification limit is.
Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.
Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.
The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.
Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.
Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users.
Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.
Conclusion
Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.
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🍁 what programs do i use for my edits:
please note: the following is an extremely unprofessional set-up for one of the least serious editors/"editors". this is to help out anyone else who wants be extremely casual and only make dumb shit for their own personal use. if you want to be a semi-professional or professional editor one day, i suggest you do not copy my set-up lol
my (android) phone's screen-recorder (for videos, assuming i don't download them)
my (android) phone's screenshot feature (for images, assuming i dont download them)
my (android) phone's Gallery App (specifically its photo, gif, and video editors within said app) (i usually try this first, to see if all i need is achievable here. if not, i go elsewhere. and, if nothing else, it's great at helping me get crop-off/video-trim-away various app's watermarks. like?? lol no. i won't keep that. ill keep creators' watermarks, 100%; but not million-dollar companies lol)
the free version of the CapCut App (which i use when my phone's Gallery App just won't work, bc the editing needs to be too precise or something)
ezgif.com (is especially great for converting videos to gifs, examining and messing with frames of your project, converting the "gif files" creators' attach to their youtube Community Tabs post called "webpage files" to gifs, and a few editing needs that Capcut or my phone's Gallery App just won't work with. like ezgif can get REALLY PRECISE and gritty about exactly where you want the beginning and ending of a video/gif to be, down to the hundredth and thousandth+ Decimal Place. which is soooo useful lol just make sure you have the item you want to edit downloaded; some of the "insert the image/video's URL" options havent been updated to recognize the changed URLs of sites like youtube and whatnot)
imgflip.com (quick, easy way find and customize popular memes/meme-templates)
KnowYourMeme.com (very helpful for both finding niche memes if youre like "i really want some more Scooby Doo memes. let me look up the show on this website to go through its 'related meme entries' tabs". it's like TV Tropes for memes. it's also helpful for finding meme templates, finding out if someone did a variation of a meme already so you can reap the benefits while not having to make it yourself (eg. looking for a Doctor Who variation of the "Is that a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure reference?" meme), and more)
remove.bg (it deletes backgrounds for you. and you can download your image either as a transparent png or you can tell the website to download the image with a background, to which i typically use a solid black or white the rare time i don't want a transparent png. my favorite thing about it though is, if the auto-generator is wrong in any way, you can manually guide it on what you want erased and what you dont; and you can use their "magic brush" (AI trying to understand what you want to erase/store) or you can "turn off their magic brush" for something that follows your exact "erase/restore this pls" scribbling and does add intelligence to what you mean. i switch between turning on/off magic brush often, it's so helpful lol) (the sister-website this has for videos isn't good though, i do not recommend that one at all. at least how it is as of writing this in August 2024)
imgonline's specific "combine two images into one by putting them side-by-side" tab (it lets you put them side-by-side, what can i say. it does it by either connecting them landscape-style or connecting them vertically, depending on what you choose. the only setting i change, beyond the obvious "do i want landscape or vertical?", is i make the images the png-option. highly recommend you "Open The Image" to check it is what you want before you "Download The Image" bc sometimes i click the wrong toggle. i know i could just use Canva instead, but ive been using imgonline before Canva was around, personally, so it's a habit)
pinetools' specific "combine two images into one by overlapping the smaller one to be ontop of the larger one" tab (this is so helpful for my phone's Gallery App. bc it has a size limit on how small a "sticker from my photo albums" can me. so what i do is i go to pinetools with my ever faithful companion, WikiCommon's HD Transparent Large Image. i have the transparent image be the biggie, insert the file of my "too small image" to be anywhere on top, and wham-bam-yes-m'am, now my Gallery App will allow the the combo to be a sticker. love this for me specifically)
imagecolorpicker (helps me pick a color from an image to use as a hexcode, helps me find a photo-color scheme i can steal, etc. it's a great tool to use for anything that will accept a hex-code (but may/may not allow a tear-drop, or maybe you want a color from x-image to put into y-project and so the teardrop tool may be ineffective across tabs), such a great website)
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my stars know about you.
a sam wilson x fem!reader blurb wherein sam finds the old videos the reader has when he was snapped away.
WARNING: a bit of angst and tfatws spoilers for those who haven't watched but aside from that, nothing else.
A/N: ha yes hello i impulsively wrote this bcs my muse was so high all of a sudden and i have this monologue ready for it. listened to this playlist right here and wendy ft. john legend’s written in the stars <3 also, is this still a blurb ??
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Sam had promised you he would clean around the house while you go on a fun little weekend with Sarah and the boys, wanting to give you more time to relax and be around his family; his lips churning up into a small yet giddy smile at the thought of the small velvet box hiding somewhere in your shared room that contained the necklace you’ve been eyeing whenever the two of you could go out.
He was half-way done with the things hidden in your work drawer when he came across a flash drive that had a label written on it called visual diary. His brows furrowed lightly as walked to his side of the office, opening his laptop and plugged it in, opening the files to see multiple videos titled with dates, the first one from all the way back in 2018.
Sam shifted in his seat, clicking on that certain video only to be greeted by your tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes, under eyes dark from the possible lack of sleep. His heart dropped at the distraught look on your face as you took a deep breath in before looking into the camera.
“hey sam, it’s me. it’s一 it’s been exactly five days since Nat called me about how you were one of the people who, unfortunately, got snapped into non-existence.”
The way you spoke caused goosebumps to form along his skin, realizing that these were probably videos you'd made five years ago, when the snap happened. Sam’s heart was shattered at how lost you looked from the other side of the screen, wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.
“I’m with Sarah right now, she’s sleeping in her room with Aj and Cass. She’s been strong, but you can see the worry in her eyes一 she’s holding up much better than I am though. I’ve been such a mess, I can’t look into the mirror without seeing… feeling you beside me. I miss you.”
Sam stopped the video, his own tears starting to choke him upon seeing the state that you and his younger sister have been. He knew that it was hard, after seeing Sarah struggle with the family business and keeping things together; seeing you wake up at night with cold sweat glistening on your skin as you jolted up from yet another nightmare of him not coming back.
He wanted to stop from diving deep into the videos but his curiosity was stronger. He scrolled through some more videos, randomly clicking on one.
This time, Sam was greeted with a somewhat cheery you, out on the hill you first confessed your attraction to him一 the same night he admitted that he loves you more than a friend, where everything started between the both of you.
“hey there, handsome. i surely hope you can recognize where i’m at right now, if not, then i guess i’m kicking your ass.”
He chuckled, finding your humor amusing despite how lackluster your tone was as you spoke into the camera. Sam reached up to trace your features that were present on his screen, remembering every single feature of yours, engraving it into the forefront of his mind.
“today’s the day we’re supposed to celebrate our first anniversary, sammy. we should’ve been in hawaii by now, swimming with the fishes or explore the beauty of that island. instead, i’m here, in my car alone on the hill where we first admitted our feelings for each other.”
Sam didn’t fail to notice how you were trying your best to hold back your tears, taking note of how your tongue poked the inside of your cheek一 a habit he noticed you would do whenever fighting strong emotions一 and he whispered a small, “Don’t hold your tears back, sweetheart.” and as if you heard him, you let out a small chuckle.
“if you were here right now, i know you would say something like, “don’t bottle those tears up, beautiful” or something along those lines. i want you to know that i’m trying, sam. but it’s hard, it’s been five long months since you’ve been gone and i don’t know how long i can last without hearing you say you love me or your obnoxious laughter that would resonate through the house.”
“I love you, baby.” was all that left Sam’s lips, tongue jutting out to dampen his lips as he listened to you speak, mind blank as too many thoughts about what he wants to say to you as of the moment are too much.
“i’ve told the stars about your laughter. it’s niche and cliche, i know, but mom told me to tell them all about the people i treasure the most whenever i can’t tell others about them.”
“i told them about how beautiful you are一 about how scintillating your eyes are that they could battle even the brightest star in the sky tonight. i let my stars know about how amazing of a chef you are even though you almost burnt my old apartment’s kitchen down because you forgot about the cake you tried so hard to bake.”
Sam cringed at the memory, nose scrunching up in disbelief that he could forget such a simple task; he spent the night apologizing and all you ever did was smile and lean in to give him a kiss in hopes to shut him up.
“i told my stars about how brilliant you are一 how your words are so deep even with the shortest sentences, about how you can easily captivate me and a bunch of others with the stories that you speak… about how much love you have for me and for everyone you care for. it never ceases to amaze me how you can stand up and fight for the people that you love.”
At this point, Sam was already in tears as you shared about how you spoke about him. He adored how your eyes were filled with that well-known fondness you have whenever you speak about something you love.
As the video ended, Sam was left to look at the reflection of himself on the screen, staring at his reflection as your words echoed in his mind. He always listened to you ramble on about how everyone’s destiny was written somewhere in the skies, their lives aligned like the constellations that shined bright in the nighttime.
Normally, he would brush it off, skeptic to that belief but as he tuned into your stories, he can’t help but believe that in what you were saying. Sam was about to play another video when he heard the familiar jangle of your keys in the front door.
Sam pulled out of his chair and raced over there to meet you, immediately engulfing you in a tight hug before you could even close the door. “Hello, beautiful.” he softly greeted, pulling away to place a light kiss on your temple. “How was your weekend away with Sarah and the boys?”
You chuckled softly at the sudden affection he was giving, dropping your duffel bag on the floor to wrap your arms around his torso, feeling how relaxed he was against you. “It was great! Could’ve been better if you were there to be with us.” you answered, reaching up to peck his lips a few times, making the latter smile. “What’s with the affection? Did you break something, Samuel? Wait一 were you crying?”
He shook his head, adamant in admitting that he was, he lifted you up easily as he took you over to your shared office, sitting back down on his office chair with you in his lap as he showed you the compilation of the videos, “I… I found the flash drive while cleaning and I got a little too curious and decided to see what was on it and well, turns out I got a bit more than what I expected.”
“I was going to show them to you one day, Sam.” you admitted, making yourself comfortable as you snuggled up to him, his arms laced around you securely. “But I wanted to make it a bit more… special since this was a very vulnerable time for me.” the softness in your voice made him curl a single digit under your chin to make you look at him.
“I’m sorry that I left you alone for that long, baby girl.” Sam apologized, feeling incredibly guilty for leaving. Despite knowing it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t bring himself to accept that you and his sister had to spend so many years without him. “I know you’ve told me multiple times that I shouldn’t say sorry, but I can’t help it. You’ve waited for so long.”
“And I’ll wait a million more if it meant I could be with you.” you cut him off, shifting slightly to make you face him completely. “You can go anywhere, anytime, for how long and I would wait for you to come back every single time. So please don’t feel guilty about it, love.” your hands holding the sides of his face as you start to pepper it with gentle kisses.
You smile at his peaceful expression, “My heart is in peace knowing that we’re written somewhere in the stars.” you say to him softly, squishing his cheeks in a playful manner, light laughter filling up the room.
Sam smiled, sealing the feather-like kisses with his lips on yours, capturing it for an intimate one that conveyed how much love he has for you, resting his forehead on yours right after. “You know that I love you, right Y/N?”
“I do and I love you so much more, Sam.”
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TAGLIST: @https-bvcky @harrysweasleys @selenasprompts @weasleytwins-41 @anchoeritic @marvel-diaries @demirunner @barneswidow @lovecroftreads @punkrific @6r4cie @yougottalovefandoms @swiftssss
to those whose urls are in bold, i can't tag you for some reason. join my taglist! it's in my main main masterlist <3
#sam wilson#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x y/n#sam wilson x you#sam wilson imagine#sam wilson imagines#sam wilson fic#sam wilson fics#sam wilson drabble#sam wilson drabbles#sam wilson fluff#mcu#marvel x reader
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I got tagged for this by the delightful @las-lus. ta, dear heart!
1. why did you choose your url?
I fell in love with The Amazing Devil (and have yet to fall out with it) and just... yeah. It’s from one of my favorite of their lyrics:
Day by day oh lord three things I pray That I might understand as best I can How bold I was, could be - will be - still am, by god still am
2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
Not really, unless you count my old blog that I abandoned due to some interpersonal fandom wank shit on a totally other website that i just... did not want to potentially have to deal with fielding on tumblr as well, and I’d linked regularly to my tumblr so I knew ppl knew where to find me. (I don’t much care any more, it’s @actuallyclintbarton)
Unfortunately for y’all, I do not give a fuck about restricting my fandom reblogs and shitposting to thematically appropriate blogs, y’all get to deal with ALL OF IT. ;)
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
2012! my original username was bemyselfloudly. (i’ve also been through shit like... whatwouldcapdo, queersuperteens, wrotemyown, actuallyclintbarton, cottoncandydumpass, and ruffboijuliaburnsides. I know I’m missing a few lmao. I don’t change my URL on a whim mostly anymore)
4. do you have a queue tag?
I’ve had quite a few! I think the one I kept longest was “always we will queue as one”, from the Avengers Assemble theme song? Mostly bc I forgot to change it for a while. currently, it’s “i promise queue i’m not broken”, from TAD’s “Farewell Wanderlust”.
Other entries: “i’ve got red in my queue”, “to queue the monsters we created monsters”, “i am not queueing away my shot”, “were queueing it man. were making it happen.”, and “abracafuqueue”.
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
I randomly found a trans guy’s blog who was... like he wore stockings and heels and makeup and dressed really feminine but was still A TRANS GUY. And that spoke to my lil not-out-as-trans-to-anyone-at-all heart, and so the first handful of posts were probably introspective shit. And then I started reblogging MCU stuff. And then birdie got a blog and I was lost.
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Oh! My icon is currently art of one of my many DnD characters, a gnomish warlock named Cricket! My wife got a commish of her and her halfling girlfriend Ambria on Flight Rising from a particularly delightful artist, and I love it dearly.
Here’s the full piece, btw (with a gradient on it bc the original is transparent):
Cricket’s whole “starting concept” is basically just “Party Girl-era Ke$ha, but a gnome, a lesbian, and bound to a warlock patron”, she has fully helped win a cage match by hitting a guy in the dick with a folding chair, and I love her constantly drunk or hungover lil ass DEARLY.
7. why did you choose your header?
It’s Joey Batey, who sang the line my url/header text is from, but also it’s fuckin HAWT.
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH *sob* It’s a post from February with like 63k notes about Quibi doing a quarantine home video version of The Princess Bride.
9. how many mutuals do you have?
I have no earthly idea and I have no way to check. PROBABLY AROUND 200?
10. how many followers do you have?
5,109. Gods bless you all, why are you HERE????
11. how many people do you follow?
392. I am very picky, clearly XD
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
I mean, hasn’t EVERYONE?
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
anywhere from “no times” to “essentially constantly”. It really depends on the day and where my brain is.
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
Not with any particular blog. I’ve got particular arguments I feel strongly about and will fight any time I see it on my dash, but it’s not a particular FEUD or anything. Possibly the closest is the artist formerly known as zarabitha bc I had serious issues with their headcanons/fandom policing, but that’s ancient news and I’m p sure she never recognized me as a unique individual.
15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
i resent them and generally actively AVOID reblogging them. Don’t fuckin try to guilt me into shit motherfuckers, I’m not here for that.
16. do you like tag games?
Yes!!! I don’t always respond as promptly as I’d like, but I adore them!!!!
17. do you like ask games?
Ditto above. LOVE ‘EM. Not always timely.
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Probably @seananmcguire and @thebibliosphere are the closest to tumblr famous amongst my mutuals.
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
....I mean, YEAH? it’s kinda a foregone conclusion, I crush easy.
20. tags?
WHOEVER WANTS TO. I mean this. Pls tag me as having tagged you. I just can’t CHOOSE. So fuck that. I guess specifically @jackironsides and @persony-pepper but specifically pls JUST IF YOU WANNA DO THIS, DO IT.
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i love reading your thoughts soooo much and the ask you got about joana made me miss eskam (or at least the eskam characters lol) what do you think the girl squad is up to these days!!! on another note do you think cris ever had a crush on amira ok that's all have a lovely day
thank u so much that's so sweet!! i love talking abt things on this blog so i rly appreciate that others enjoy to read it too! also yes the distinction between missing eskam vs missing the characters is important they fucked up so bad in the end.....
i'm not completely familiar w the school system in spain but if i'm not mistaken they would've started uni by now? at least that's what i'm going off of! keep in mind that i never finished s4 so idk if any of their future plans r canon but here's what i like to think:
my favorite suggetsion for all nooras is always to go into journalism which i think also fits nora v well. i wanna believe she's still w alejandro & they're planning to go on a trip together when they can :) kinda as a symbolic thing bc alejandro going abroad was what kept them apart originally so now they wanna travel together! nora is probably in a much better place now that it's been almost exactly a year since leaving her toxic relationship. i think eva specifically has helped her through it a lot n is probably making sure it's not all coming back too heavily now that there have been so many "anniversaries". i also believe she has continued to make music w jorge n they've become rly close friends!!
i think eva is doing smth w biology, maybe marine biology would be her thing idk why i just get the feeling she might like that (n i think she canonically took sciences in school?) i feel like she n viri r the once who always come up w stuff they could do as group n spam the group chat w ideas of game nights or movie marathons bc they want to keep each other close so badly ❣️
viri is such a caring & sweet person i see her doing smth involving children like maybe a pediatrician or even day care or smth like that! she n hugo r probably still together n her parents absolutely adore him! i also think viri might be the type to get married very young so if their relationship lasts (which i have mixed feelings abt but let's assume the best here) she might be the first out of the group to get engage, definitely not yet but maybe at like 20!
amira my beloved i think she should become a doctor or a nurse smth in the medical field bc she definitely loves to help ppl n try to take concrete actions to make the world a better place. i hope she has had some deep talks w the squad n they have genuinely started to take her feelings into account. besides that i think she is even more active in w las labass n they've managed to grow & promote their community even more!! amira definitely wants to keep that in her life even if she's studying in uni rn!
cris is. probably just being cris. trying to navigate uni life smfjskkd i think she has grown a lot n probably takes school a bit more seriously now, maybe she's kinda just figuring out her interests tho! like i think she might have some troubles sticking to one field of studies n doubts herself a bit since commitment has always been a challenge for her! n maybe joana is kind of a grounding force for her n she can believe in herself & her decision making skills better w joana's help. i could see her getting interested in some sort of media field maybe, communications or social studies could also be her thing! she's probably become a much better friend for amira n also if my url doesn't speak for itself i Really believe that lucas n her have become extremely close friends n since they both like partying they probably go to gay bars together all the. time n constantly face time each other for no apparent reason bc they just like chatting w each other ❤️
also like i said i think they all rly value the squad's bond & friendship so they always make the effort to hang out together & make time for each other. they're probably often busy so when they do all have the time to meet up they most likely just have to stay the night sleeping on couches & just the hard floor bc they continue their talks well into the night. their partners especially joana have always seemed to be an important part of the group too but sometimes they'll just host "no significant others" hang outs where bringing ur gf/bf is prohibited n their partners r obviously 100% okay w that n can see how much they all need to spend time together just the five of them 🥺🥺
ALSO YES UR BRAIN IS HUGE CRIS DEFINITELY HAD A CRUSH ON AMIRA!!!!! like she probably didn't recognize it back then but maybe some day they're having one of those late night talks n amira says an inside joke that cris laughs at n then it kinda clicks for her & No Filter cris jumps out just like wait. hold on. i just realized i was madly in love w u when we were kids msjfkskdkd queen of crushing on amira at an appropriate age 🥰 amiris is the realest thing
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@rovermcfly tysm for tagging me and sorry this took 5ever!!
why did you choose your url?
i wanted a bttf url last summer when i got back into the fandom, and i wanted it to be specific to marty bc i love him but i also want to be him. im like, obsessed with the nickname "future boy" that doc gives him in 1955, and the url futureboy is taken, so i am mrfutureboy bc i am marty (kinnie shit)
any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them
i literally only have a handful for url-saving purposes. @rhodeystark and @masloki are my most notable old urls so i wanted them for safe keeping. i also have @goodnightfutureboy bc that was one of the bttf urls i was considering and i never got around to deleting it (if by chance anyone wants that lmk)
how long have you been on tumblr?
I think i joined in 2010.
do you have a queue tag?
back when i blogged a lot on desktop, xkit worked for me, and i actually queued shit for my blog it was “since queue been gone” bc i thought i was clever. i still think its clever tbh i just dont really queue anymore
why did you start your blog in the first place?
Iirc, an irl friend of mine heard about tumblr thru an upperclassman she was friends with, so she was like “sonny we should sign up for tumblr!” and i was like sure why not. first url was miss-math bc thats my deviantart username
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
im obsessed w mjf but im also a kinnie /j. i specifically love his look in that interview and also i own a very similar sweater now so. it me. also im basically aromantic even tho i dont really use the label so yeah i put that behind his pretty face
why did you choose your header?
skfkdksk its because i kept fucking dying in the stuart little 2 gba game. I havent played in a while but im stuck on the level where stuart goes into the sink drain to retrieve the wedding ring that isnt even in there
what’s your post with the most notes?
Feel free to fact check me, but im 90% sure it’s a screenshot of gwen and trent from tdi that i took, where gwen is like leaning on the table all miserable and trents got his hand on her back, captioned “rb if you agree” bc i thought they were really cute. i still get fucking notifications for that post i think its at over 500 notes now
how many followers do you have?
i dont particularly like sharing this since this is the only site that doesnt make that public, and it’s nice to not feel intimidated or make other people feel intimidated or ashamed, like how it kinda makes you feel bad when you have fewer followers than your friends on insta. but i’ll play, and as of right now i have 1065 followers im very grateful for <3
how many people do you follow?
240. ik my ratio is bad i promise im not being an asshole abt it
have you made a shitpost?
Ive been on tumblr a long time. Of course i have
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?
I get turned off by those posts a lot but i do be reblogging shit sometimes ill admit. but not blindly like i have to actually read it and care about it. But if its a 10 mile long post where everyones adding how necessary it is that its rb’d, forget about it
do you like tag games?
yeah!!! it just takes me a long time to finish them lol
do you like ask games?
I dont play them v often or receive them but i do!
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
@chloezhao, period. also @jedflah and @lonepinetimeline were some of the big names within the bttf community that i kept seeing last summer and i remember being like “omg they followed me”. (Well. Actually with theo i didnt recognize his main blog so for an embarrassingly long time i didnt realize we were mutuals slfksk. he would like my personal posts and i was like “wait who is this” and i felt like a huge idiot when i realized it was him! our 1 yr friendaversary is coming up love u cowboy <4)
do you have a crush on a mutual?
no but @biathelstan and i are cowboy soulmates
Tagging: @biathelstan @thereisnosafetythistime @anakins-rattail @mahourobotto
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What did they do?
dont have yhe callout or whatever on hand but they were a notorious weirdo in the homestuck fanbase bc they made some weird remarks abt teens and have drawn nsfw incest between homestuck characterz. they used to go by roachpatrol idk if you recognize the url but theyve started adding their dumbass comments to posts so i cant scroll five minutes w/out seeing em. dont reblog this btw i dont want arguments in my notes.
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about me tag game thing
i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3
under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around
why did you choose your url?
this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.
i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.
oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.
anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.
one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.
any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them
in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:
emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier
dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.
horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.
mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.
how long have you been on tumblr?
i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.
do you have a queue tag?
no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended
why did you start your blog in the first place?
my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!
why did you choose your header?
in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.
what’s your post with the most notes?
i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.
how many followers do you have?
on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.
how many people do you follow?
i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.
have you made a shitpost?
let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?
that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful
do you like tag games?
yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward
do you like ask games?
i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing
do you have a crush on a mutual?
in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.
i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:
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Tag/Ask Game
This is a sort of Check-in Tag game thing? I was tagged by @vikingstrash, so thank you dear!
1. Why did you choose your url?
I used to have a different tumblr, and then my sister saw me on it and literally took the mouse and made me follow her own tumblr, and it made me So Immensely uncomfortable, I immediately went and made a whole new blog, and messaged all my mutuals privately to tell them I was moving so my sister wouldn't find out. As I struggled to come up with something more creative than 'time-lady," I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, "Reality sucks, live in fiction" and since livinginfiction was taken, my friend (who was helping with the crisis) and I added an 's.' Voila. Seven years later, it's the only username i have online. XD
2. Any side blog?
Three, actually. We've got @merthurismycrack where I reblog Merthur shit, @samspsychicpowers for some SPN stuff, and the side blog that's basically my main blog at this point: @asterekmess which is where all my Teen Wolf and Sterek stuff goes.
3. How long have you been on tumblr?
Uhhh, I've been on this blog since August of 2014, but my old blog was started in....March 2013. I've been around a fucking while.
4. Do you have a queue tag?
HA. Fuck no. Do I look that organized? Y'all get three hours of spam reblogs, and then I disappear into the aether. How it should be. XD
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
This is essentially the same as I said for question one. Sister found the old blog, and I needed a new one. I tend to make my side blogs for more pointed material, so that my main blog can have like...the amalgamation of general stuff i like, and then I can keep the fandomy content more concentrated into the side blogs.
6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Originally, I did not have this icon. I had this pic I found online with these Beautiful bronze wings against a black background. But then, around the time I decided I wanted to sort of...simplify things and make my username for my online stuff all the same, with all the same pfp's so that I was easily recognized, etc, I realized that....that picture was not mine. I didn't design it or anything. And i couldn't find its source to ask for permission to use it. And it started making me feel shitty for using it in the first place. So I spent like an hour and a half trying to make my Own Wing pic to use, and failed miserably. As a last ditch effort, i went through my 'artistic' photos on my phone and found this one. I adore sky pics, and cloud pics, etc, so it was super my thing, and I just slapped it on there. Still not sick of it. XD I also went to my side blogs and changed out the pfp's for photos that I'd taken, except the sterek blog, because that one is literally just a black triskelion on a white background, and it's a pretty non-specific thing. I would have used a picture of my Own Tattoo, but it's very hard to get a picture of my back that doesn't have weird lighting, and I'm just too lazy.
7. Why did you choose your header?
All my headers are also photos that I've taken or art pieces that I've made. In the case of this blog, it's a picture I made with a 'galaxy maker' online thingy. I love green. I love blue. Ta dah. In general i just try to find something that gives me the right vibes or has the right color palette to match what it's for. (orange and blue for sterek, trees for merlin, and wings for spn)
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
On this blog? I.....just spent two hours digging through all my posts tagged 'personal' bc i wanted the post that I MADE with the most notes...and i have no idea. I mostly respond to other posts, rather than making my own. The highest note count i can find is a post i made abt having friends that aren't in your fandom, which means you can use inspirational quotes to help them through tough times without them realizing ur quoting doctor who or something. 22 notes. *fingerguns* I'm famous, i know.
9. How many mutuals do you have ?
Is...is that a thing i can check?? or do you expect me to hand count??
10. How many followers do you have right now?
Uhghhghghgh, this blog has 439 at the moment, and i'm pretty sure not a lot of those are porn bots, bc i usually screen new followers for it. a lot of them have come over from my sterek blog though.
11. How many people do you follow?
hehe....uh...36.....one of which is my husband....
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
I don't even know what the requirements for something being a 'shitpost' are....but i think no?
EDIT: I Take it Back, I just found a post I made with "Hot Take: PIneapples are an honorary citrus fruit" and I believe that counts? So YES.
13. How often do you use tumblr?
Uh, nearly every day, multiple times a day. Sometimes i forget it exists for a couple days, though. It's my only social media. I dont use twitter or facebook or instagram. I Have Accounts, but I literally dont open those apps more than once a month.
14. Did you have a fight /argument with another blog ? Who won?
My sterek blog gets in fights more often than it should. XD I'm feisty. And I dunno who wins, i think no one. it's tumblr. there's no real winning or losing.
15. How do feel about “ you need to reblog this” post?
Oh 90% of the time I'll fucking ignore it on principle. I come to tumblr to enjoy myself and escape. I refuse to guilt the shit out of myself and my followers for not reblogging something deemed Essential. I don't care how deep the topic is or how heavy. Sometimes that's WHY I'm not reblogging it, because I don't want that shit on my blog. The other 10% of the time, I'll go to most recent reblog that Doesn't have the guilty shit on it, and then reblog that.
16. Do you like tag games?
It sounds narcissistic, but I like being tagged in them and doing them. I just Really Really Really hate tagging anyone else.
17. Do you like ask games?
Yup, I think they're fun, though I really don't think anyone wants to know this much about me.
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Uhhh...I have no clue. I think...I think I might be the tumblr famous mutual, or at least my sterek blog is....
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
Yup. My husband.
20. Tagged?
Uh, no one. makes me anxious. XD If someone wants to do it, go ahead and claim i tagged you, i promise no one'll call ur bluff.
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Ooh I have the cloud recesses as my phone background.
Are you vegetarian? I am (mostly). Meaning my family has always been vegetarian so that's how I grew up and now as an adult, I've tried some meat but only eat it in social situations with friends occassionally.
Oh yes the nightless city sky is soooo beautiful!! I noticed the same thing whenever I giffed the scene where lwj shouts Wei Ying!!!!!! as wwx falls 😈😈
I used to be a huge fan of Hannah Montana as a teenager! Were you?
I've almost escaped from essay hell! Just need to proofread and edit and then upload. Almost there 😅
And yes of course I'm trying to get more cellmates in thirsty jail. Spread the thirst! 🥵
I couldn't find the exact fic link I'd mentioned but I think it was this one? I'm not fully convinced since I think the summary I'd seen before had other stuff also mentioned but it wouldn't hurt to share this link anyway so: archiveofourown.org/works/26220175/chapters/63814693
What languages do you speak? Are you trying to learn any language right now? If not, is there any language which you wish you knew or that you've always wanted to learn?
A more random question: what do you look for when creating or customising your Tumblr theme? Are there any specific must-have features? Eg. For me, I need to have pagination and not infinite scroll. And I need tags to be visible and reblog+like buttons available immediately. And easy navigation links that I can customise. I'm kind of picky, lol!
oh you’ll have to show me which pic you used sometime! I think I got mine off of nsmgroup’s twitter~
yup yup, have been my whole life (minus one experimental phase when i was rly young that i don’t like to think about)! same, it’s how i was raised & my whole family’s vegetarian too~
i’m a sucker for a pretty sky~ whenever we get nice pink clouds here or anything i always gotta go out and take pics lol. (and how many times have you giffed it omg u masochist!!)
oh for sure! you know i watched disney channel and bought those albums, lmao. though it might’ve been more pre-teen era for me? but yeah i think my faves were hannah montana, wizards of waverly place, and suite life (i must’ve watched the original but i have more memories of suite life on deck since that came later)~ i also watched sonny with a chance and then so random after~ & i was rly into high school musical, ofc. <3 that’s probably one of the reasons i enjoyed julie and the phantoms so much, is bc it’s kenny ortega and it has hsm vibes~ we need more fun musical shows and movies, honestly…
ah yay! do you have a celebration planned for when you finish? 😄
tsk tsk tsk, your pro-thirst agenda never rests… 💜
oh damn, 73k… 😳 i’ll file that one away for later, lmao.
i’m a monolingual loser, unfortunately 😔 love the idea of speaking another language, lack the motivation to follow through (story of my life alkdf). all i’ve got is a few phrases in korean, thai, and chinese i can recognize from being into kpop and watching dramas. the language i want to learn rly depends on what i’m into at the moment, but right now it would be korean and chinese. chinese just seems sooo difficult tho; it scares me alkdf. korean i feel like isn’t that bad, just based on what i know so far~ that is always a goal i have in my mind tho, to at least open up duolingo every once in a while, i just haven’t been able to get serious about it. i think i’ve always been interested in languages, but aside from being forced to learn spanish in elementary school (of which i obtained 0 knowledge after 5-6 years; everybody disliked the teacher and no one learned anything lmao), and taking like one french class, i don’t think i ever rly had a particular language i wanted to learn until i got into kpop~ i definitely wish i’d managed to learn one when i was young, since i’ve heard it gets harder as you get older, especially when it comes to accurate pronunciation, but oh well…
ooh that’s a good question bc i just recently gave this blog a theme for the first time ever!! i think i agree with everything you mentioned~! actually here are my notes from when i was looking for a theme lol: “one column, probably not too narrow, not centered, but to the right with the side bar to the left of it. a side bar that’s more gif-heavy than words-heavy (i want to showcase a good-sized gif of xue yang + pinky there). probably not too colorful, but black and white, to go with the content/theme of my blog. not super fun & sunshine and rainbows-y, but not too boring and businesslike either. no infinite scrolling. search bar is a must (rip maybe i can add one TT).” i still haven’t figured out how to add a search bar, rip… it also depends on the vibe of the blog, like i love colorful themes but they don’t rly suit this url, lmao. but i’d love to use a more fun theme on my other side blog~
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Okay I rlly dont know WHY I'm thinking abt my exes rn but I am. So my 2nd ex... idk if I can count it in a way. It lasted abt 8 months and was my longest, technically, but it wasnt rlly a relationship.
One of my online friends confessed to me and tbh I didnt..rly like them like that but moreso I liked that they liked me and felt like obligated. Also like... pls note that I didnt know what they looked like or their voice or their bday or where they lived (like generally speaking) before we dated. I still dont even remember what their face looked like. They rarely showed me like actual pictures. I remember their hair bc they dyed it rlly cool but they rarely showed their face without filters. I legit didnt know what they looked like until we had been dating for like 2months lol. And like this sounds concerning but they were 15 and I 16 and we only sent normal snaps and like discord dms so none of this was like serious so like it's not deep but yea. It was such a weird and shaky basis of a relationship and honestly it doesnt even rlly count?? Like we barely communicated and got to know each other. It was just such a shallow thing and there was no communication OR connection. I was just like.. welp were dating now so !!? I guess I'll act like it. And I dont blame my ex either btw. We were children like none of this is on him but yea.. idk I just find it so funny that like we could run into each other on the street and honestly not recognize each other in any capacity.. that's how shallow it was. I also didnt ever learn their full name and they went by a nickname online that no one ever used irl. All I really knew was their voice, url, interests kinda, some general family dynamics, birthday, and ethnicity, and I eventually learned where they lived. Idk it was just so bizarre that that was my longest relationship and all it rlly was, was sending empty sweet sounding dms and mundane snapchats to someone who confessed to me in a Group Chat of all places and honestly didnt rlly know anything abt me. All my current friendships irl and on here are MUCH deeper than this relationship was.. god being 16 was a TIME
And seeing how all my relationships werent rlly even relationships makes me rlly want to finally take an actually meaningful try at a relationship now that I'm an adult and learned what not to do in these like trial relationships. But I legit dont feel attraction to anyone. As soon as it goes past like a fun shallow infatuation and I actually try imagining saying someone I just csnt and the attraction dies. Like I know I dont need a relationship and I am fulfilled without one. And might just not be ready for one yet but damn I do just wanna make out with someone. Tragic. Oh well.
#idk why im thinking abt this i rlly dont but here i am#idk...maybe i just shouldnt try to connect with ppl in this way#its okay to hold off.. like its fine#🐌.txt
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Hey! First of all, I love your writing. And second of all, I want to start writing imagines, but I don’t know how or where to start. Like, I don’t want to write with nobody seeing it, so I guess I’m wondering how you get followers to actually read your writing. Thank you!
hello! first of all, thank you so much 🥺 that is so sweet and i am really glad you like my content!
i understand not wanting to write without getting any feedback, because of course that is what drives people who create anything—getting a reaction out of people! but i will say that if you really want to write then use that as your motivation! the joy of writing in of itself is what keeps me going if something does not get as many notes as i thought it might or the reaction i was hoping for. it seems like you have that desire anyway which is a great start!
also, this blog is fairly new. it hasn’t been too long since i’ve started it, maybe a few months now. it has grown much faster than i thought, and i just hit 700 followers today (what???) this is a LOT smaller than some other writing blogs i follow but also bigger than others! so the number of followers doesn’t really matter, but it is cool when people interact with you and your writing. my recommendation would be to ask a few mutuals to read your stuff and reblog it if they want to, and just post often! the more content you are putting out the more people will recognize your name and your stuff. also, tagging is a huge aspect that can contribute in a great way. tag EVERYTHING. the group/person you’re writing about, the topic, the rating, and i like to tag my own url in each post so it can be found easily when searched.
also, this is something that really irks me as a reader so i recommend this: use correct grammar 😂 i’m obviously not rn, but in all my writing i make sure to use the correct english grammar rules. if you aren’t sure about something you can always get someone else to proofread or just google certain grammar rules (i do this all the time lol)
i’m sorry this is getting so long bUT my last piece of advice (? am i qualified no lol) is to start by writing about something you’re into. whether that be smut, fluff, angst, tiny drabbles or huge fics, just something you would want to read. i started by writing one smut piece for fun and i ended up loving it 😂 bc i’m a horny bastard lol. don’t write something bc it’s “popular” bc you won’t have very much motivation and it will probably show in your writing. write about stuff YOU like and people will respond to that. idk about you but as a reader i can tell when something is forced! DONT GIVE UP, TRY IT AND SEE IF ITS FUN FOR YOU AND JUST KEEP GOING WOO
ok aNyWaY this was terribly long and i apologize but i hope it helped! feel free to message me privately if you ever want to chat or even have me read something bc i was the editor in chief for my school newspaper for two years so editing was like my life lmao
#this is so long IM SORRY#LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED GABI#if you read that whole thing you a real one#asks#anons#tyongf-nct
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hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though
[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]
ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god
oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that
hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”
or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride
THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER
yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was
wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing
also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration
any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference
MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY
heh... BI-ceps...
oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it
Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs
^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl
including me when I was a teen, I just said things
(I still just say things)
you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity
I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him
OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS
OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead
and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly
KIM
K I M
THAT’S GAY
OH WOW
this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”
awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3
THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!
“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG
Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood
ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is
she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,
[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]
AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID
YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY
oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....
btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing
...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?
or Long Live The Queen
hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D
NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM
(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)
unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*
Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE
chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat
Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!
and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy
oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol
(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)
the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason
MISADVENTURES
HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD
except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D
...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl
hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh
oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares
I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level
[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]
YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY
ỳïķèš,,,
honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)
fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)
me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol
I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!
shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it
“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking
technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment
cheerful stuff
no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting
god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too
“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life
and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear
Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good
pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time
*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!
Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly
Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf
THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART
HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M
DECEASED
I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,
so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL
KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT
oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha
aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun
there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again
Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain
so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her
in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO
which is both hilarious AND very sweet
...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs
and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm
actually when are his emotions ever regulated
1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao
“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg
I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras
Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that
also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners
listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place
Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!
Chlodemption arc yesssssssss
also she’s a lesbeean
(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)
god I’m so proud of her <3
it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)
outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what
YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM
...actually wait this is sibling culture
I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother
Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country
omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins
I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo
being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience
Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows
“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME
RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS
oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too
chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS
you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again
[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]
alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with
oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol
the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...
“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one
KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???
like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is à Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”
to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...
PILLOW GIRLFRIEND
I’m the amused nobles, they are me
oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it
holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell
[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]
Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there
stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver
Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second
I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED
the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this
(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)
look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong
fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant
DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric
“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you
THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT
Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...
oh and Theo still has like every job btw
Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again
...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process
full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually
(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)
“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception
neither do I based on my microwaving skills
SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER
INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”
omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood
most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too
(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)
I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”
(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)
THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*
honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is
[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]
YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*
(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)
all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)
also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person
to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah
I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash
well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows
jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS
timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”
fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like
to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it
and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter
and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try
and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too
...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE
(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)
this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting
I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪
...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it
thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads
impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏
so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year
did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???
I mean it definitely is, but...
UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS
chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt
(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)
oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...
NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!
I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit
alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started
Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see
YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU
this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead
okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom
[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]
THERE IT IS
I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM
I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,
A R O M A N T I C
listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)
[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]
bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪
and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important
almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely
Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this
“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE
Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi
Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that
I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...
Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two
“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak
hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay
OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU
this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that
yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was
Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”
no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you
god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)
psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!
genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd
hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho
[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]
he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot
POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed
and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised
aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT
WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”
aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg
gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet
I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves
(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)
sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again
“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.
I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny
I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu
Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!
(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)
huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so
also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for
I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember
omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”
lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now
[future aish note: same, goodnight]
#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember#it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed#anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours#random stuff#misadventures#if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry#this is under a cut on desktop i promise
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92 truths
rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you, at the end choose 25 people to be tagged
i was tagged by @berryzouis !! thanks so much for the tag Danni!!
LAST:
last drink: pepsi
last phone call: my sister daisi
last text message: “omg yeah I get that a lot 😂 😂 “
last song you listened to: DNA by bts
last time i cried: a few hours ago while I was watching beauty and the beast with my family, during the evermore song
HAVE YOU EVER:
dated someone twice: nope
been cheated on: nope
kissed someone and regretted it: yeah
lost someone special: big ol’ yes
been depressed: when am i not
been drunk and thrown up: lmao sadly yes
IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
made a new friend: yes, i made a few good ones
fallen out of love: no? don’t think so?
laughed until you cried: like every week
met someone who changed you: i believe so
found out who your true friends are: a few yeah
found out someone was talking about you: yeah, apparently I come up often in conversation cause I’m fairly known, was a shocker to find out
GENERAL:
how many people on tumblr do you know in real life? : a few, but those are like personal friends who i’ve given my url to, like claudia or mia
do you have any pets?: sadly no
do you want to change your name?: at time i do, sometimes i’m not comfortable with my name
what time did you wake up this morning?: almost noon, around 11.45am
what were you doing last night?: celebrating the new year and watching lemonade mouth with my sister and cousin
name something you cannot wait for: for tim drake to be recognized as the genius that he is and for him to get his old red robin suit back
have you ever talked to a person named tom: not that i remember, probably have
what’s getting on your nerves rn?: stress of everything, next semester, fafsa, transferring, me avoiding my problems
blood type: A+ , i have a blood card (: i think that’s pretty cool
nickname: dds (mainly by family)
relationship status: single af
zodiac sign: virgo
pronouns: she/her
favorite tv show: my mind went blank lmao, i’m just gonna say shows that i currently enjoy bc i don’t have a fav -> voltron, young justice, miraculous ladybug, doctor who, my hero academia, etc
college: community college in my area, should be transferring next fall !
hair color: rn it’s half blue half purple, original is brown
do you have a crush on someone: sadly yes, very unrequited as well
what do you like about yourself: my freckles, i don’t have as many as i did as a child but i love them nonetheless
FIRSTS:
first surgery: back in 3rd grade, nothing major but still memorable
first piercing: do earrings count? as like a baby lmao
first sport you joined: soccer
first vacation: disneyland
first pair of sneaker: ??? vans maybe ??? i liked vans more as a kid
RIGHT NOW:
eating: nothing, but i had a pinguino cupcake like 2hrs ago
drinking: nada, should drink some water before bed though, i’m a bit parched
i’m about to: finish this, then scroll through tumblr before going to sleep
listening to: only angel by harry styles
want kids: maybe 1 or 2, depends
get married: hopefully, i really want to wear a big ol’ fancy white dress
career: surgical nurse and medical anthropologist (:
WHICH IS BETTER:
lips or eyes: depends but i’d say eyes
hugs or kisses: hugs
shorter or taller: eh, i’m already short so too tall is a no go, but tall
older or younger: older
romantic or spontaneous: romantic bc i really hate last minute things sometimes, like spontaneous is good but eh, mixed emotions on it
sensitive or loud: both, bc i can be either
hook up or relationship: depends on the person
troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
kissed a stranger: nope
drank hard liquor: yep
lost contacts/glasses?: don’t use any, but probs lost sunglasses
sex on first date: nope
broken someone’s heart: yep lmao
been arrested: nope
turned someone down: yep
fallen for a friend: sadly yes
DO YOU BELIEVE:
in yourself: on a good day i do, on bad days not so much
miracles: yeah
love at first sight: definitely
heaven: i believe in some place
santa claus: lmao in my house i am santa
once again thanks so much danni!! and to those i tag, you guys don’t have to do it but it’s pretty fun!! i tag @garterbelt-anarchy @conspicuous-cloud @@lemoneyesharry @hufflepuffsh @etherealkieren @officialgrimreaper @flickerofziall @mitamdemo @please-dont-freak-out @snownouis and anyone else who might want to do it!! (: and happy new year to you all!!
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