#bc i kept disappearing all the time
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dawnthefluffyduck · 3 months ago
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I drew this explanation post for why I was completely inactive for a week, but then felt too anxious and drained to post it, and subsequently disappeared for a second week
Two main blog drawings and one side blog wip later, I remembered I made this and still think it's funny, so even though I stopped being dead (TM) I still wanted to share lol
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Brief series of events at work
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^^^old, but I'm still taking it easy so posts on both this blog and my alt will continue to be scattered for now
#so for those of you that don't know; i have moderate combined scoliosis#my entire back is always at least a little strained so i have to really watch my physical activity#but i live in Tennessee where we have the lowest federally allowed minimum wage#so in order to pay for college i have to work in a package distribution company because it's the only place that pays well/has a scholarshi#I'm in the small package dept thankfully (bc spine)#but for the last three months one specific manager kept sending me out to a different area with the heaviest packages in the building#when i first disappeared it was because i was having trouble walking and using stairs lmao#I complained to that manager and it seems I'll be in smalls again for the foreseeable future; so I've had time to recover and am better :D#every day i didn't post after that was due to anxiety and a low social battery BUT I'm getting slightly better on that front too#i have been *very* aware of my spine lately though#the last time I got an xray was ten years ago and i wonder if it's changed since then... not that i can afford a new xray lol#also can i just take a space to complain about the US not using the metric system#so many packages have kilograms ONLY and i have NO frame of reference for that since we don't use kilograms anywhere else#''ooh wow 70 is a big number but surely it can't be that baD- HOLY SHIT THAT'S 154 POUNDS'' <- me all the time#at this point I myself will just switch to metric and make life harder for both myself and life around me out of principle
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faaun · 3 months ago
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago
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#byler#stranger things#twelvegate#something something time fuckery#something something it seems like lonnie could be both el and will’s dad…#however I think this could be a misdirect…#bc something’s not right…#I feel like if we’re dealing with a time loop in some shape form#apparently Henry doesn’t want Will and el to know each other…#this is what I’ve been saying about byler evidence also low key being willel wondertwin evidence#we’ve always associated Will going missing in s1 and el disappearing in s2#as Mike being able to handle their relationships separately and how that came to a head in s3 then s4#and how they did that to show mike can’t juggle both of their relationships the way he’s attempting to (el romantic/Will platonic)#but I think it’s actually also interesting that Will and el are kept apart for so long…#and then finally when they’re together it’s like all of these memories are surfacing for el…#around March 22nd…#and the fact that what saved her back in 79 was the memory of her birth…#I just think that’s so interesting…#in combination with the repetition of 7/5 test subjects tattoos being the only ones focused on in every flashback#and all the twin imagery#it’s like they’re subconsciously remembering each other#maybe vecna realized the only way this could work is if they didn’t know each other#even to the point of ‘putting them against each other’…#reminds me of that shot of 11 & 12 at the basketball game#but I don’t think it’s going to work…#I think Will and el are too selfless and love each other too much to do what Henry and the audience expects#el is also going to realize that she has even stronger familial love for Will than she ever had romantic feelings for Mike#and you know what this also means??#remember the crazy together scene? ‘they wouldn’t understand..’ ‘eleven would’ 🤯 SHE WOULD!!
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year ago
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okay. calling all yandereheads. does anyone know any stories that has a yandere but like they have a sidekick (that doesnt really want to be their sidekick but is forced into it and decides to make the most of their situation and ends up acting like a silly friend to them) and at first they hate their sidekick and want their ass dead but keep em around bc their sidekick helps them stalk their crush but then the story does a switcharoo where the yandere realizes sidekick is their #truelove and goes yandere for sidekick
#THIS CONCEPT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL IDK WHY NOBODY DOING IT#LIKE THIS WOULD WORK REALLY FUCKING WELL AS A COMEDY SLICE OF LIFE MANGA I KNOW IT (except in execution the yandere probs never falls in#love with sidekick 🙄)#BUT I NEED TO SEE IF ANYBODY HAS MADE THIS EXCEPT THEY GO ALL IN WITH THE YAOI#im sorry im asking because the demons are taking over again#since this trope has had a gorilla grip on my brain ever since my depressive episode got really bad that one time so i was on wattpad right?#and i was lookin at yandere x readers because i needed to feel middle school joy again but then i found one that was Unironically Good.#i kept reading it bc the yanderes name is the name of my fucking dead grandfather and i thought that was really funny and it was well#written but kinda shitty at the same time bc it wasnt aids to read but it was japanese setting that Was Very American#and (y/n) [that i named yosuke] is actually such a good charactee bc he doesnt give a fuck about anything hes like shang qinghua HES SO#LIKABLE AND FUNNY HES EATING SHIT EVERYDAY AND FEELS LIKE A COMIC RELIEF ITS SO GOOD#oh also for this fanfic i checked the authors acc and saw they had disappeared for months and i was like lol i guess they got hit by a car#and then i found out they actually did#but anyways yeah that fanfic is my enemy though bc its so good but still so fucking shameful and i refuse to get anybody into it#SO THATS WHY I NEED SOME MEDIA TO TAKE THAT PREMISE AND USE IT TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL AGAIN#BC SOMEONE HAS TO TOP THE FUCKING YANDERE X READER WATTPAD FANFICTION#PLEASE#AUWGJSJDKSKSKS THAT FUCKING FANFICCCCC...... So GOOD.... <-(demons are winning)
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considerad · 3 months ago
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💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 you know that post about creating community if that's what you crave?
I made an enormous pile of choc chip cookies and I batched it out for our upstairs and downstairs neighbours, my ma and my great-uncle across town, and my granddad's old pal and his family, and I just got done delivering them and I feel like 🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽
so alight and alive with it all!!!! I love people! I love them!!! I am so full of fruit and phone numbers I probably won't ever call!
Life can be so unbearably sweet ❤️
#I'm badly depressed so it was a rote mechanical baking exercise yesterday bc I've been meaning to bake sth as a housewarming present#for upstairs for like 2 years now. and they're always so nice to us. and they brought dates from the South with them this time#so I got to do it. finally. and their kid is a big k-pop stan so I got the ��👀👀👀👀 stare from her but she's super sweet too#and I hope the next Korean she meets is more interesting/less of a fake lol#downstairs (young couple) was happy with me (I watched the cookies disappear in real-time)#my ma and I ate some at the old bazaar while cat-watching which 👌 and then my great-uncle actually finished his!#and then late this evening I went over to the H's who are so chummy and sweet and kept me for an hour#and I got to meet everyone after like 2 years of Mr H telling me his daughter and I would be BFFs#(she's really cool. a single mom working in mech eng? here? the coolest literally)#sooooo yeah that's more socialising than I've done in 2024 put together. and all of them are people I like and wanted to connect with!!!#and I got to do it! I got to talk to all of them and all of them were just so lovely#food continues to be my way of prying the door open and it has yet to fail me :D#I feel whole. Finally. I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my waking hours.#and all it took was 300g of butter and a slab of chocolate. I got to know so many neighbours. it filled a void I've been sick from.#.........:) yeah.#thought
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hyrulesfav · 22 days ago
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♟️🐈‍⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot
#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#🐈‍⬛ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda#its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways#i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've#accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we#both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done#i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though#there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao#besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there#(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont#want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man#i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together#in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not#bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure#he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao#they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao#elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on#ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda
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hauntingblue · 5 months ago
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Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci
#can i say maybe i dont like where this is going bc i dont like the priest. like why not have dio do all this. i have to endure his boring#self while not having any motivation bc i still dont know why he wants to do all this bc that backstory doesnt justify anything#while dio is in the background and he has a motive to hate the joestars and create a world without them. idk#this is like light and near but unjustified#i would have prefered the priest resurrecting dio in some strange way than him doing all this i think#and i still dont like his powers ☝🏻 they dont make sense to me and the evolution doesnt either. how can you just flip stands.#also his rant about how he killed all his enemies... josuke and giorno are out there now lmao#retracting my statement they changed the opening but just this last episode#i do like the destiny stuff like the same thing happens in a new world bc of necessity and the whole plot has been about things happening#because it needs to happen but why does this reset need to happen??? why does pucci want it?? so everyone can be happy?? why??#literally nothing that happened to him has been the joestars fault. dio brainwashed him? ok SHOW IT#like the plot is okay but the priest doing all this makes no sense it could be anyone at this point#okay i get it now destiny is like gravity.... but his stands changing makes no sense still. the disc thing got out bc of the plant baby. ok#but the gravity just changed to something else entirely??? to time??#he kept repeating time and space but a space stand would be the hand. gravity is something else entirely#its not like velocity>acceleration or star platinum and the world velocity>time. that makes sense#gravity and time is like my stand makes anything into ice cream and then it makes things disappear#rant at this point but yeah#okay control. the priest wants to know exactly what is going to happen at all times to be prepared and evolve?? and why would dio want this?#weather report...... i mean it was meant to be#yeaaahhh emporio roast him#irene and anakiss ajdhaisjaisjakakakak#i might be crying but this doesnt change my pucci criticisms#the ending song..... incredible choice#i think i liked golden wind too much and i cant control myself and not compare#but pucci doesnt make sense to me here apart from being a priest and wanting to fulfill 'god's' purpose or whatever that means#so now there is a new world but with joestars but they dont have stands?? or just pucci doesn't exist (or dio)#so just the prison gang doesnt get them. but ermes didnt go to prison either. idk#talking tag#watching jojo
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waterlinkedgirl · 2 years ago
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Musical Touken Ranbu: Tokyo Kokoro Oboe english sub
I know this isn’t the TsuruKara Souki you were expecting, but on the plus side, neither was I expecting this! Since I’m watching this with a friend soon, I figured, why not? It is very high up in my faves list, after all 🥺
Following my predecessors, the start of the subtitles has a little intro blurb on each of the historical figures, and I’m also planning on making a little research file in which I’ll try to explain a few things about Masakado and horses, Masakado and Kikyou, Ota Dokan and the yamabuki (Japanese kerria) girl, and some details about Tenkai as person and his planning of Edo as city.
I’m also planning to include some translation notes (specifically on ほころび・る hokorobi/ru because that deserves to be mentioned) in the file, some interpretations on the girl with the Noh mask, and a few fun facts about how each of the historical figures relates to Inari or foxes. Because in the context of the roles Suishinshi and the Gous get given throughout TKO, as well as the themes present in it, it may be interesting to keep a certain little fox in the back of your mind while watching!
Keep in mind that this is only the subtitle file, timed and tled to the DMM archive distribution.
You can download the subs for the DMM archive distribution here,
and with lots of thanks to a friend, the subs for the BD/DVD version can be found here!
The research file will be able to be found here too, at a later date.
#touken ranbu#Tokyo Kokoro Oboe#toumyu#Water's translations#'where's Kogi in all this' is one of my favourite questions to ask in TKO tbh ngl#and not in a haha 'kon kon kon.../knock knock knock...' kind of way#though I do really appreciate Mikazuki's name melts into Kogi's in the names section#I'd love to think that tsuwamono had meaning-- that kotobuki had meaning!#that Kogitsunemaru hasn't disappeared from Mikazuki's side after tsuwamono established that even if he can't do time crimes with him#he will still gladly eat chagashi with him. And that he won't allow Mikazuki to use that sweetness as bribe to get away from his duties--#to get away from staying by Kogitsunemaru's side.#Also considering Kogitsunemaru in utaawase and by extension Inari light is super cool bc he's one of the most supernatural swords out there#through him being smithed by Inari he's half repairs and also Legit Foxy at the same time that Inari is a god the *people* made popular#on top of that!! Kogitsunemaru is!! *literally* a noh song-- he's given his shape because Kokaji exists- because the people sing of#the little fox that helped Sanjou Munechika out and the name 'Kogitsune' engraved on the back as gratitude towards that incarnation of Inari#so why is it Sui who gets to carry that weight?#why is it Sui who recognises Mika has gone too far and needs to be saved- who admits Mika's crimes to Master when Kogi's kept them secret-#when Kogi knows what Mika does and isn't gonna take bull from him?#why is it the Gous that Mikazuki entrusts to be the bridge between human and non-human when Kogi should be right by his side?#when utaawase happened? When Kogi said he wouldn't commit time crimes but never excluded helping him in ways that don't break their mission?#why is it that the existential message-- being existent so long someone calls your name- or whether flowers songs and feelings aren't a part#of history if they're not passed down like objects or writing or *swords* (they are)- what'll remain of a sword if you lose your name--#falls on Sui when Kogi is literally given a shape by his song engraving his name?#also the girl is wearing a *Noh* mask TT-TT#anyway sorry for the rambling I just feel Kogi is Painfully absent in TKO when he Should be in there given past myu and it hurts ;-;#I hope past myus had meaning and he'll return.
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ofgentleresolve · 1 year ago
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ferre's thoughts!
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hi everyone! so sorry to have been absent ( or at least very sporadic ) here and across all my other blogs- i promise i never stopped thinking about my muses and all of the wonderful dynamics i have with everyone!! recently though, i guess i've been feeling a bit...meh about this blog?? so i'm just going to ramble for a hot second in these bullet points to air out my thoughts and hopefully i can get to some kind of conclusion here....feel free to throw your own opinions in here if you want to!!
this is my fault, but uh, i think i accidentally isolated myself on this blog?? like, these days most of my activity rp-related has been in discord, but i would like...to reach to ppl again if they are still interested....that being said, i know i say i love plotting with other muns, but i also know that truthfully, it takes me a while to open up and it probably doesn't help that i can take like weeks to get back to ppl ic wise....i dont want to get into the details but i'll just say that this summer was kinda...not great ( don't worry nothing bad happened, i'm just going thru a rough patch....) so that's been killing my writing mojo for a while ://
this also relates to the first point, but i realize plotting really does make a difference to me about whether or not i'm excited for a thread so i'll probably make a note about that when i rewrite & condense my rules....
ever since i moved patrick to his own blog, i've noticed that annie ( and since i gave him a connection to her ) and ga ram seem to be the most active on there...tbh there are some muses on my main muse roster that truthfully, haven't been used in months due to the lack of plots/active dynamics- i don't want to get rid of them bc nostalgia and i do intend to write them on occasion, but....if they aren't garnering as much interest then i might just have to switch around my rosters a bit....
this blog isn't nearly as much of a slice-of-life blog as it used to be....if anything, i feel like it might be better to call it a crime & slice-of-life multimuse considering that the muse who seems to come out the most often now is annie....as such i was wondering if....perhaps changing the aesthetics of this blog might help with getting into the mood for writing on here again?? if anything patrick and calum's blogs seem to embody this blog's current core themes more ^^'
this might also mean changing the username for this blog....although i will say, i am quite attached to this url as it's been my brand for YEARS... but on the other hand perhaps a url with a bit more...grit to it could help ( that and if it is change then better to accept than resist...right?? )
also saw lena on my dash ( WHICH WAS A SIGN OF A GOOD DAY FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺 ) and i lowkey?? wanna follow in their footsteps aka be more lax and free-flowing on here...so i might drop the formatting ( sans the small text ) bc that does, i will admit, take up more time to post responses than anything else :'D
okay if you read all of this, thanks for listening, i promise everything will be fine on my end <3 i really really just miss writing on here and being part of dashboard shennagans so....hope to see?? you all soon in the meanwhile, will try to get to some memes & maybe do the bingo boards for some of my muses here <3
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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good morning 🥺
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorrey ... not active ..... lots going on but also not (?)#IDK anyways i've reconnected w an old friend who's a childhood friend bcs shes the daughter of my mom's friend ^___^#she said she's gna get into the 1975 more !! but she's alrdy going to the arctic monkey's concert soon which is super cool#and i rmbr our mom asked me and lune if we knew them too <3 but we didn't know there was a legit concert SOBS#yeah miss her a lot and it's sweet how wnvr we do reconnect a bit it always so happens we're into the same thing of sorts :((#AND THEN! wow idk i've grown a lil less hesitant. somehow. idk. literally replied to the story on ig of a guy ik but haven't talked to in ag#ages* purely bcs he kept posting like woaaa based game and then ff6 best ff so i was like SO TRUE but have u played 14#and he has NOT but does want to and then wow we could have had a lil convo but i left to watch a movie sorry bro <//3#what else ... hmm ..... WELL. an old friend from all the way in 6th grade. okay so we often message each other a bit just like 'hey wna be#grpmates' or smth like that and that one time where they gave me a lil help for the chem grp work and i'm like. just comfy talking like#myself fr BUT THENNN messaged me sometime last week bcs. like smth w a grpwork and they got anxious they did smth wrong#bcs no one in the gc replied to them (sorry i didn't either SOBS) T___T ended up turning the convo to 'hey wt abt i finally try to talk w u#properly more' and HELL YEAHHH we both r the kinds that talk/type a lot but sometimes dip and disappear how lovely /gen LMAO <3#idk. uhm. with the school fair we have booths and shifts for the booths and my group is the one with uhh the 4 kids who i'm often groups#with and they're all the. yk kids. ppl who i'd get along w and i've been classmates w all of em b4 but you see they're a grp of friends now#RAGHH ONE OF THEM IK LIKES PERSONA (MULTIPLE?? IDK. they once were like yo apollo u seem like u like persona lol#IDK WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN but yes i do have akechi and ren charms on my backpack for school#AND THEN ONE is into like gi pjsk a lot of rhythm games and gacha mobile but all like uhh. yeah? tot love live bandori ... still cool fr tho#she's rlly nice tbh lol ^___^ wait tbh all of them are HELP but uhm idk but it's nice when ppl r nice to me#tbf that's literally how i got my first crush BUT WE DON'T TALK ABT THAT !! yk sometimes i unconsciously wonder abt her or look for her and#then i did see her again after a few months since seeing her early in on the school year bcs shes in basketball and i hung out at the uhh#covered court w my best friend whos in another varsity bcs we stayed late at school that day to help out w fair preparations!#i refuse to like her again but i realize i like that familiarity with feelings and uhmm yeah shes cool ig i kinda wish i was less. uhm. shy#back then? you see i barely cld talk to her ... LIKE. she'd be like. heyy! and do shit sometimes and i WOULDN'T TALK or just smile and#mumble RAFGHHHFHFHDHH but she'd say hi to me and include me in things and jokes and it made me rlly /@!(@/'dmdkzn okay#AND sometimes when i do talk back I am SOOOO GODDAMN AWKWARD GOOD GODS anyways now i'm like. less awkward. or maybe i've just accepted it n#i'm cooler now B) and a lot more confident zEjfhejdjsnk. yeah. and uhmm yeah that's it#BUT YEAH nice classmate she asked me for a hug once lol and i notice she's affectionate w her friends n it reminds me of m y own bestie awhh#she sometimes talks to me which i rlly appreciate even if it prolly seems like i hate her sorry i just suck w talking
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teruthecreator · 1 year ago
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trying so hard to be normal but i really don’t think i could survive going to the psych ward and i’m rlly like. bothered my siblings are pushing it so hard
#in neg city#they were rlly like ‘we can’t force you’ but then just kept fucking talking about it#even as i’m crying and saying no no i don’t want to go i’m not going i really don’t want to#and like. idk. when ur sister gets sent to the psych ward at a pivotal point in ur childhood#and that subsequent action adds onto the trauma u were already experiencing at that point like idk man! maybe going to the psych ward would#in fact be very very bad!!!#like any time i think abt the psych ward i think abt my sister one day just disappearing from the house. i think about when the doctors#withheld my letters and i thought my sister either hated me or was fucking dead. i think about having to hide all this agony behind polite#smiles while i was also being bullied mercilessly at school and my CHOIR TEACHER WAS DYING OF CANCER#i think abt the car ride when my aunt told me and my brother that she had to go back in#i think of empty houses and missing places at the dinner table and arguments and so many fucking arguments#i cant go into the psych ward i won’t. and it just felt like that’s all they wanted me to do#and then it became well michelle how do u want us to help u? LEAVE ME ALONE#THATS HOW U HELP. YOU LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME FIGURE IT OUT#i get rlly overwhelmed and stressed when too many people are trying to butt their heads in#and i know they mean well but it just feels like they’re both gonna become mom and i’m not talking to mom for THIS EXACT REASON#idk i just don’t think they can help. i get that they’re rlly worried but i can’t let them help i don’t know what they could do#and they wanna talk about this again tomorrow so now i don’t wanna sleep bc i don’t want tomorrow to happen#but i don’t have anything to do bc i’m in such a terrible mood#i rlly wish i wasn’t alive sometimes#clearly i’m putting too much stress on my siblings and mom is probably worried sick but i’ll never kno bc we aren’t talking#i’m just ruining everyone’s life i rlly shouldn’t be on this planet anymore
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vaugarde · 2 years ago
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hgh wanna overhaul a main element of starfall again
#vague spoilers ig but its about how asha gets stranded again#i swear ive had a lot of iterations of it bc its like. convoluted ill admit that#the result is usually the same- she gets separated from atlas and castor and quinn- but the how and what happens#is all over the place#at the beginning of this iteration her parents were forced out of the pmd dimension by [redacted] and asha hatched slightly after#so was born into the situation. then all got picked off til only she was left#then the order of who got picked off kept changing. it was either atlas or castor as the final one#and currently its atlas#but then i changed it so that they all get stranded when asha is a bit older so she knows who [redacted] is personally#and gets more time with quinn before she disappears but everyone still got picked off#and now i kinda wanna remove everyone being picked off and replace it with JUST asha getting stranded#as in [redacted] happens and asha loses all 3 at once. really going into just how much it shook her world#and adds to the mystery of where everyone went maybe?#but also everyone being picked off adds some paranoia..... shes paranoid thats an aspect of her character#and this isnt even getting into the mess that is skylar rn. skylar's backstory is a mess#and how they get there worries me bc i think itll be confusing#sometimes im tempted to just. separate asha and skylar and have skylar come in later#but bc of spoilers idk how itd work#and i love them as a trio#but everything just... feels sooo uneven rn and i kinda hate it#its why u havent heard much abt starfall itself tbh i dont like where its at rn#i might honestly have to just tear out a lot of what i have but idk where to start in making it feel good#echoed voice
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brittlebutch · 3 months ago
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have been thinking about Until Dawn again -- do we ever like, fully understand what Josh had planned for Matt and Emily? Like, did he steal/hide her bag or something to get them out into the woods? Or was that just some kind of coincidence that played out like he hoped it would?
#N posts stuff#outside of that one 'did Josh do that deliberately?' uncertainty i do actually grasp the full implications of his plan#better than i think i did in high school.#(my brother has a playstation he lent to us so i'm finally playing it for myself instead of just watching no commentary vids lmao)#in that like. presuming he Did send Matt and Em out there deliberately then them + Mike and Jessica are on the side of like#Josh is putting them in the same circumstances Hannah and Beth were when they left the house - he's surrendering them to whatever#circumstance and danger that his sisters went through; i watched a couple of like vid essays on the game and someone said that#Jess and Mike in particular were 'spared' by Josh sending them out to the cabin but i don't think that's what Josh was doing#given the level of control he had over everything that happened all over that mountain then I have to assume the busted power#in that cabin was Deliberate and the path they took was very messy and ill-maintained in a way that can get them both Soaked#so to me the cabin is a deliberate exposing them to the elements in a way that may well could have killed hannah and beth#plus Josh did make up some of the 'maniac' lore BUT his parents were in a lengthy legal battle with someone who Did threaten the family#so he's also well-aware that That guy could have had something to do with Hannah+Beth's disappearance and again Josh is exposing#Matt and Mike and Emily and Ashley to that danger because they were the more outward 'antagonists' in the prank on Hannah#so his revenge there is more passive but arguably Way more dangerous than what Josh had set up in the house; because again#Josh had a Huge amount of control over what was going on in there and he kept an eye on everyone the whole time#He's basically the only threat on the field - he can account for the weather and outside threats etc. in a way he Doesn't do for anyone els#and even tho they don't know it JOSH knows that he's not going to physically Harm anyone inside the house. so they're ultimately Safer#his deliberately more Antagonistic 'revenge' on the others who seemed to have less to do with the prank is also kind of double edged#ie; for 1) Josh overall sees the whole thing as a net Positive for them - he was going to post it online w/ the intent of making#them all famous sensations; obviously he knows it's terrifying them deliberately in a real dire way but as a Whole it's supposed to be 'goo#and as for Why he scares them so thoroughly out of everyone i think it's mostly bc Josh does see Himself as culpable that night as well#dr. Hill has that line about how he doesn't know if it's like. worse to threaten someone or passively allow them to come to harm or whateve#so there's a lot of deep self-loathing about the fact that Josh couldn't/didn't do anything to help his sisters that night that he kind of#turns outwards against the other people who were also less Directly culpable in that same way (Sam tries to stop the prank#but fails; Ashley more passively went along with it than deliberately participated; Chris was also drunk + incapacitated)#so it's almost a collective 'WE fucked it up bc we didn't do Enough' kind of punishment hence the invocation of Hannah and Beth's#terror and uncertainty on that night -- We didn't do Enough and so this is what they suffered because of us in that way#but again; Josh had immense control over that house and he Knew everyone was Physically safe so even though he's Scaring them#he's also not putting them In Danger in the same way he does everyone else by shutting them out of the house + out in the snow
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lyvhie · 6 months ago
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nct dream having a s/o who's shy during sex
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nct dream x fem!reader (18+ mdni) a/n: reposting this one bcs somehow this just disappeared from my blog and i remembered to repost it now 😭😭 cw: smut, oral (f), fingering, petnames.
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MARK seemed taken aback at first. like, he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, he wanted this moment to be good for you too, so he kept asking if you were sure and if it was okay to continue. when you gave him a green light, he would nod and take things slowly with you, checking to make sure you were fine with what he was doing and reassuring you that it was fine to be shy. he let you wrap your arms around his neck and hide your face there, knowing that this was your way of cooperating with the situation.
he was understanding and patient, knowing that you needed time and didn't want to push too quickly. he loved having you close to him like that, everything seemed more intimate when you were close together. it was like a whole new level of intimacy and he couldn't really explain it with words, but it just felt right to him.
“babe, please,” he murmurs against your forehead, his voice shaky with restraint. “think you can relax a little for me? your tightness is amazing, but i need to move,” as soon as you relax, he begins to move his hips slowly, savoring every inch as he pushes deeper into you. each stroke hits just the right spot and elicits a soft moan from your lips. he showers you with praises as he makes love to you tenderly.
it seemed like there was an unspoken contest between you and JISUNG over who could be the most bashful in that moment. and, just as usual, you managed to claim victory! despite seeing himself as the one to lead, he was surprisingly unsure of his next steps, attempting to put you at ease as best he could. with a gentle determination, he whispered reassurances in your ear about making it feel good and creating a memorable experience for you. yet, every word he uttered only seemed to amplify the heat in your body.
but through all the nervous laughter and flustered glances, you could sense jisung's genuine care for your wellbeing. as his hands explored your body, they were hesitant yet firm, as if trying to learn your every curve by heart. he gently nuzzles your neck as he speaks, his breath hot against your skin. "i promise i'll take it slow. just tell me what feels nice.”
HAECHAN remembered how he saw you struggle to just take off your clothes, how embarrassed you seemed, so he figured he'd take the opportunity to help. initially, he was gentle and supportive, telling you it was all right, and you could take your time. however, when you were underneath him, hiding your face with your arms and holding back your cute moans, oh boy, that's when he would get really devious. he'd force you to look at him and whisper dirty words in your ear, really making you squirm and, more important, he would make sure to tease you enough to make you beg.
“look at me,” he would say demanding. “i’ll stop moving if you close your eyes again,” as he says this, he's already thrusting into you in an agonizingly slow pace. it would be so much worse if he just stayed still.* “n-no, hyuck, p-please,” you stutter out in a pleading tone as you open your eyes quickly and look at him. “please what? i said you have to use your words, love,” he leans close to nibble on your earlobe, making you shriver. he loved how responsive you were. “please… f-faster, i…” you tried to move your hips to match his rhythm but his grip on your waist tightens, keeping you exactly where he wants you. "mmh, i'm listening,” he nuzzle against your neck, patiently waiting for you. "i want to c-cum again, please, go h-harder,” you say in a frustrated tone, burying your face in his neck to hide yourself. he was pleased with you words, his smirk widen and he feels his cock throb with excitement. he would let you hide this time. “can’t deny it if my love asked so nicely.”
seeing this side of you, the vulnerable and timid one, was something truly endearing to JAEMIN. “my bold princess is feeling shy today?” he asked, amusement tugging at the corners of his mouth as he pressed a light kiss to your quivering lips. “there’s no reason to be,” he assured before placing another tender peck. gently coaxing your arms away from hiding your chest, he encourages you with another kiss, his thumb tracing lazy circles on cheek. “you’re stunning, princess,” his lips soon follow suit, moving down to your neck, leaving trails of kisses as he goes.
jaemin’s breath is hot against your skin as he nuzzles further downwards, pausing at your collarbone. he flicks his tongue across the delicate flesh, the sensation makes goosebumps break out on your skin, causing you to shiver slightly. “you’ve got nothing to hide from me,” his hands move to unclasp your bra, freeing your breasts completely. with a low groan, he finally takes one of your nipples into his mouth, suckling lightly.
CHENLE would be so confused. he was trying to make you feel good, but you were making things difficult. it wasn't because you didn't want it, so he was even more confused as to why you weren't letting yourself enjoy it. "baby, why are you doing that?" he asked with a puzzled look, raising an eyebrow as he saw you closing your legs. "stop closing your legs," he said, making you look away from him. “n-no, it's... i-it's embarrassing..." you mumbled, biting your lower lip. he let a small "oh" escape his lips when he realized what was happening.
"aw, are you feeling shy? you're so cute!" he said, letting a small sigh escape his mouth as he ran his hands gently up and down your thigh. the touch was comforting, his hands caressing the skin as he leaned in closer. "what about this? keep your eyes closed and let me take care of you, just relax,” he kissed your thigh, his voice so gentle it made your heart flutter. the thought of just letting go and giving him control was enticing, so you nod and kept your eyes closed as he requested. with a wicked grin, he pushes your legs further apart, revealing your beautiful, swollen center. he takes a moment to appreciate the sight before leaning down to taste you, his tongue sliding effortlessly inside. you gasp and grab onto his shoulders, trying to steady yourself as he begins to explore every inch of you.
JENO had come to understand your behavior patterns, he knew that you would react just this way. you were always the type to talk too much and do less, specifically in regards to your flirting. you seemed to derive a lot of fun from sending suggestive texts, spicy pictures that didn't give too much away, raunchy voice messages and all. yet when it came time for the actual act, you seemed to always shy away from it. he had learned to read your subtleties, and this time he didn't let you ran away.
"aww, look at you now," he says, his voice low and teasing. "you were all fire and ice earlier, sending me those naughty texts and photos, making my imagination run wild." he leans in closer, his breath hot against your cheek. "but now that we're here, you're suddenly shy?" he held your chin to force you to meet his eyes. "what happened to the feisty little thing that had me on edge all day?" before you could try to say something back, he shut you up with a hard thrust, making you gasp. "you know, you really shoudn't start something you can't finish."
RENJUN knew you were naturally shy about physical contact, he wasn't surprised by your reluctance. in fact, he knew that you would be a little coy whenever the physical intimacy went up a level. he knew your shyness would make this a delicate process, so he decided to start things off gentle. "that's it, just spread your legs a bit more, darling," he asked softly in your ear, continuing to keep you in a gentle hug from behind. you could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest. you had asked him not to look at your face since you felt nervous, and he agreed. but he was lying, he just had to move his head a little to capture your expressions.
he starts gently caressing your inner thighs, sending shivers up your spine. he feels your pulse quickening and your breathing becoming more ragged, which makes him feel even more determined to give you pleasure. he continues to tease you, getting closer and closer to where you really need him to touch. he traces his fingers lightly over your wet panties, feelings your arousal seep through the fabric. he slowly pulls them aside and slips a finger inside you gently, pumping slowly as he watches your reactions. your breathing quickens and your moans get louder with each thrust, so he adds another finger, stretching you just enough to feel amazing. as he continues to move inside you, he presses his thumb against your clit, massaging it in slow circles. he’s careful not to go too fast or hard knowing that anticipation can be just as satisfying as release.
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ywuji · 8 months ago
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Omg so like I want to hear your thoughts on perv!Megumi like finally after so long of Gojo teasing him for being in college for two years at this point and being single, he’s finally procured a pretty girlfriend who’s unfortunately (for her) so naive and sweet??🩷💕 Idk I got shy but I know you’ll do something good with this lol
ik i told u id post this after my wips but i started on it n i couldnt stop i liked the idea too much LOL im sorry for being so confusing D; tysm for the ask though!!! :o i rlly enjoyed writing this!!! (n don’t be shy ahjwhs you’re so lovely T_T♡)
perv!megumi !!! please i feel like he’s the type to be a pervert that’s kinda embarrassed n self aware about himself—especially bc gojo kept teasing him all those years n he was kinda just jacking off to whatever x-rated video that came up first (i feel like perv!megumi is highkey into hentai too but he’s taking that to the grave!!)
n when gets a pretty little girlfriend who acts so cute and who he loves so much, when he gets hard he can’t help but let some of that side of him slip out from time to time...
i think he’s also the type to take lots of pictures,, like pictures while you sleep, peeking through your door while you shower, in clothing store changing rooms while you change, upskirt pictures… he’ll make you his little model!! some of them you know about but some of them you don’t, he’s so lewd.
it’s not just pics of you he takes, it's some of himself too. i feel like one of the things he’d love to do to you is when you tell him to come with you to some random uni event, n he’ll randomly disappear in the middle of it, only to go to the bathroom to take pictures of his hard leaky cock to send you with some casual caption like he didn’t just do that ?!?! he’s crazy (more under the cut)
it’s not megumi’s fault he’s so in his head about you, he still just doesn’t really know how he managed to get someone as pretty and doting as you are as his. 
he sometimes feels guilty for being so obsessed with you—your body clad in pretty little outfits that you show off to him with a twirl, the way you’ll always show him your shiny new sparkly nails when you get them done, how he’s always the first one you’ll pick to talk to about something new you’ve found to love—it’s all that seems to be on his mind recently.
maybe it was gojo’s accidental doing, those feelings of guilt. unintentionally planting a little growing seed of shame in him the first few times he started teasing him for not having a partner yet at his ‘big age’, borderline lecturing him with the ‘when i was your age’ stuff—maybe that was the logical reason why he felt so attached to you, the reason he couldn’t help getting fully erect even when he only saw as much as a pair of your flung-away panties lying at the edge of your bed when coming to your room one day.
but when he recalls back to those nights where you’re innocently cuddled against him, watching whatever movie, a quiet ‘megumi?’ leaving your lips as a sign to tell him you’re falling asleep, and he finds himself shifting in his seat, carefully adjusting your head to let you rest comfortably on him, pressing a soft kiss to your hair as he strokes it and tells you a ‘sleep now, angel’, he knows that’s not the reason.
nevertheless, he’s always been worried about it, thoughts of ‘am i doing too much?’ or a ‘would she not like this?’ clouding his mind. but for every single thought like this he has, he’ll always have two more memories where he’s coming up to you, his sweet-faced little girlfriend, waiting for him with open arms and open heart. and to him, it means more than the world.
and as his cheerful sweetheart girlfriend, you’ve never really minded of course.
you know he’s at least a little perverted, asking to take those pictures of you trying on your new swimsuits, or bras, or skirts, or those times when he pulls out after spilling his load into you, and the first thing he does after making sure you’re okay is to go face-to-face with the trail of cum seeping out of you to snap a few photos.
honestly, you’ve gotten used to it at this point. you just take these moments, seeing what you do to him, as a way of reassuring yourself that he really does just love you that much. and he really does. really!! :(
no matter how innocent or dirty the context, he’ll let you know whenever he gets that warm little feeling in his chest.
“i-i love you,” he pants, head coming up from sucking marks on your neck, languid thrusts coming to a gentle stop as he peers up at you with flushed cheeks. it feels like he’s admitting it for the first time again.
when you stare at him with his same love-drunk look, brows furrowed and eyes pleading, whispering out an “i love you too, gumi”, he’ll pause a moment to study your expression before gently raising you further up the bed, hooking his hand under your leg and repositioning it around his waist.
he’ll drop down to press a kiss to your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder and picking up the pace again, now only determined to make you cum.
when he thinks of times like these, despite what you’re doing together, it’s innocent in his head.
a time where that’s not so much the case though is when you persuade him to come with you to some uni exhibition event, looking up at him with hopeful, doe-like eyes and as many ‘pleeeaaase, gumi’s and ‘please, guuuum’s as you could muster—cause it’s not like he could say no to that, right?
at first he put up an act of feign stubbornness. but eventually he agreed—only when he knew you’d excitedly hug him and press your soft chest to his as a thank you for it though.
he’d tour the hall with you, watching you gaze in awe at everything with your cute, simple curiosity, occasionally pointing out little things in the pieces he liked. before the artist began their talk though, he got up from his seat, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before muttering a “‘m g’na go to the bathroom.”
in an empty stall, he’ll sit atop the lid and pull down his jeans, freeing his stiffening cock from his underwear. he quietly groans as he pumps himself a few times, a slow trickle of translucent white leaking down from his tip.
he silently curses, throwing his head back, thinking about how you let him flip up your pretty skirt before you left, letting him take a peek at your cute ass in the frilly panties he bought for you.
he reaches for his phone, fumbling to send a picture of the sight to you, adding a casual caption of something like ‘hi pretty girl’ or ‘u look so pretty today, angel’.
he pauses, realising that maybe you won’t see it for a little while. he’s imagining you so obediently listening to the artist speaker to notice the ping of his notification—he enjoys that thought too, but he can’t say why.
he’s careful not to thrust up into his fist, not wanting to make too much noise, but it’s futile—he’s too hard staring at the lewd shots of you saved in his secret hidden album—the way you act so innocently, the way you have no clue what the true extent is of what you do to him. he can’t help but let a few breathy whines slip.
he won’t let himself cum though, thinking he’s too good to be letting himself release over some scrunched up, bathroom tissue when he’s got his own pretty little girlfriend waiting for him a few halls down.
he sighs. cleaning up and tucking himself back into the band of his briefs, leaving the stall and washing his hands, walking back out like nothing happened.
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leilanihours · 4 months ago
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# I JUST WANNA FUCK YOU 'TILL YOU CRY, VINTAGE DIOR
pairing: nika muhl x model!reader
word count: 897
warnings: smut (MDNI), head + strap (reader receiving)
summary: after a dior photoshoot and a certain blonde getting too close to you, nika needs to show you that she's the only one who deserves touch you.
⭑ from lani: inspired by sucia by kehlani bc that song is sexy and gay asf ! and by me and queen luce being obsessed w it 🎀 also my first time writing strap smut i hope it suffices 😜
masterlist !
YOU HONESTLY DIDN'T know how you ended up here - dior minidress bunched up around your torso, underwear pushed aside, legs spread against your marble countertop, your croatian goddess of a girlfriend drinking you up like she had been thirsty for years - but, hey, you weren't complaining.
"you taste so good, baby, fuck," nika groans against your wet slit. her nails scratch against your bare thighs, leaving red marks wherever they trailed.
"nika," you moan, throwing your head back, "just like that, please."
"you like that? huh?" she breathes out, the vibrations of her words sending you closer to the edge.
"love it, need it so bad," you whine with your eyes shut.
her eyes are trained on your figure - the way your pearl necklace sat on your defined collarbones, the way your hair flowed over your bare shoulders and tits, the way your skin was glowing with a light layer of sweat.
if you asked nika, she probably would've paid all her money to get this exact moment sculpted into a statue and displayed in a museum.
as her thumb presses against your sensitive clit and her tongue continue to fuck into your hole, you sense yourself reaching your climax.
your pussy tightens as your thighs start to shake against the brunette's face, causing her to smirk and halt all her movements as she steps back from you.
"what the fuck?" you complain.
"you think i'm gonna give it to you that easily? after you let that bitch's hands run all over you today?" she says lowly, a dark hunger present in her tone.
"what are you talking about, nik?" you sigh.
"don't give me that bullshit. the bottle blonde that kept adjusting your bikini at the shoot today," she explains, and then it clicks. she's jealous. possessive? probably both.
"oh."
"yeah," she chuckles darkly, "'oh.'"
after a beat of silence, you decide to test your girlfriend's patience even further, "so what are you gonna do about it?"
"excuse me?" she says incredulously, staring intensely at your still half-naked figure sitting on the counter.
"you heard me," you shrug.
"you wanna know what i'm gonna do about it?" she asks with a whisper in your ear. she slowly walks up to you, lightly grinding her hips against your cunt, "i'm gonna fuck you until you cry, until you get rid of this attitude."
her words send a chill down your spine and arousal to drip out of your already soaked pussy. you let out a moan at her promise, biting your lip to contain yourself.
"none of that," she protests, referring to your attempt at silence, "when i get back, i want you completely naked. got it?"
all you can do is nod as you watch her disappear into your bedroom. you hop down onto your hardwood floor, beginning to strip out of your clothes entirely.
soon enough, the brunette emerges from your bedroom naked, the oh-so familiar strap hanging from her hips. you were fucked. literally and figuratively.
"c'mere," she beckons, nodding for you to come closer to her. you oblige, of course, waiting for her to take control, "turn around."
following her directions, you move to face away from your girlfriend, now staring out the wall-to-ceiling windows of your apartment. you catch sight of the people innocently walking down the streets of paris, relishing in the beauty of the sunset.
but that moment of peace is cut short when you are roughly bent over your kitchen counter with the feeling of nika's strap entering you.
"fuck, nika!" you exclaim in shock.
she wastes no time, immediately slamming into your cunt relentlessly, her hands gripping your hips tightly as your ass slaps against her front.
"shut up and take it," she growls allowing one hand to drift down to your clit, rubbing tight circles.
"nika i can't-"
"yes you can, baby, yes you can," she assures, her powerful thrusts already bringing you immensely closer to your climax.
you begin to chase the upcoming high, pushing yourself back against the plastic of her dick.
"there you go," she moans, praising your neediness, "keep fucking against me just like that."
it's only then that you realize she's getting pleasure from this too - the vibrations from the base of the strap making you even more eager to make your girlfriend come with you.
nika's hands leave your hips to play with her own tits, nipples perked up from the pleasure coursing through her own body. she watches as you continue to fuck yourself on her strap, the view of your ass rippling against her bringing her closer and closer.
"you gonna come, y/n? huh?" she pants, running a hand up your back to rest on your shoulder, pulling you harder against her.
"gonna come all over your dick, nik," you whine, tears blurring your vision at the pressure building between your legs as well as the roughness of your girlfriend's motions.
"give it to me, baby," she moans, equally ready to come.
a string of incessant curses fills the air from both of you as you release at the same time. you had never had such a powerful orgasm, but something about nika's jealousy powering her desire for you just hit different - literally.
standing up to face the brunette, you rest against the countertop, still trying to catch you breath, "well, you got your wish."
"hm?" she asks after she's removed the strap from her waist, her hands resting on either side of you against the table.
"you said you wanted to fuck me until i cried, right?"
"i did, didn't i?"
— leilani signing off ! 📁
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