#bc i hate half the item i feel like theres too much empty space but. oh well im not wasting another second on it

[meowyoi]

"yeah ill just edit my enstars office a little bit" it's been two hours.

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[blookmallow]

hello here is a post about my skyrim houses so far 

i LOVE that butterfly jar ive never seen another one and i forget where i even found that one... i wish i could catch things and put them in jars myself 

i switched that shield with an ebony shield instead but i still like the dwemer one too 

mushroom pile and a dresser with some cool stuff on it 

end table ft mask i stole from a cultist who tried to murder me and some spooky alchemy stuff 

i dont like the bed in the whiterun house, sleeping on straw sounds horrible :’| like. why cant i buy a better bed i have the money 

man this shit’s getting out of hand. is it possible for one to have too many skulls

i have a better place for this now in my other house but i had lucia’s dagger here for a while 

i bought the dining room upgrade and all the stuff on the table spawned like a tornado went through it lmao what the fuck, 

i just gave up on half this stuff i cant reach very far across the table, its REALLY hard to get things to sit upright, if i climb on the table to reach further i risk knocking everything else over in the process, putting objects on plates doesnt generally work very well (they fall off/glitch through/wont stay centered/etc) so i couldnt get this to look decent and just ended up putting away half the stuff that was supposed to go on the table 

for a while i tried really hard to have a bowl of gemstones but... that many small objects all interacting with each other at once, in a very unstable bowl that does not seem to want to react well with any of them, did NOT go well lmao they were constantly glitching out of the bowl and pretty much every time i walked by it it was just sort of. constantly twitching slightly 

god fucking damn it ok this is NOT working lmao

my bookshelf so far

i have a system going where i have a note on my phone of all the books i have so when im out adventuring i can check to see if a book i found is one i dont have yet, i have one end table for dumping all the new books i havent read yet, one end table for books i have read, and the shelf for my favorite books

and also another end table for just like. random notes/journals/etc 

i got a shit ton more shelf space in markarth now though so ill have to figure out how i want to utilize those 

im also working on slowly replacing all my stolen books with legitimate copies lmao. i didnt realize how many places there were to get books without stealing them/the fact that theres like a million copies of the same books around 

you cant sell stolen items i dont think so ive just been kinda dumping them all in a barrel near my house :’  ) i assumed they would disappear after a while but they. have not. so theres just this barrel full of stolen books outside the blacksmith shop now 

little pile of dwemer stuff i found and some cool weapons (i later switched out the glass dagger for a glass sword instead though) (i LOVE glass weapons visually even though i dont entirely understand them as a weapon. i mean i know theres some pretty strong glass out there and its definitely sharp, but) 

i hate how dark it is in my house i cant figure out how to get more lighting 

i love these dynamo cores also 

then i bought a house in markarth which is HUGE!!!!!! 

this was before upgrades/before i put anything in it so it looks loads better now but EEYY

also LOOK how many fuckin shelves i have now 

i gotta decide how i want to categorize them but i can fit SO many more books in here 

look at this shit this looks like a jarl’s bedroom

it feels wrong having my kids living in that tiny little shack of a house in whiterun when i have ALL THIS now but i dont want them in markarth... ive seen random murders occurring in the city and the guards barely cared, saw dead guards laying around for no apparent reason, theres possibly forsworn agents sneaking around, theres a strong chance of falling off the steps and dying on the stone (i dont know if that can happen to npcs or if children even can die but i dont want to find out) and theres only like one other kid there 

im thinking ill probably start working toward the solitude house since that seems to be. probably the safest place to be/ive heard its the best house anyway 

 then it was finally time to move the skull pile out of whiterun, BECAUSE: this house has an empty room, which is EXACTLY what ive been looking for, 

(you can turn it into an alchemy workshop or a kids bedroom but i left it empty intentionally)

i found a random saw buried in all the skulls. not sure how that happened 

in the end (at the time when i moved to markarth) i had a total of 67 human skulls and 31 troll skulls in my collection, 98 skulls altogether which means i definitely have over a hundred now 

i have a video of me dropping all 67 human skulls at once lmao ill post that later 

beautiful..... my dream.... Realized 

im still collecting though theres more now. im gonna keep doing it until it starts making the game lag or something. hoping to have so many fucking skulls you cant even get in the room anymore but i dont know how many the game will let me have before it starts crashing 

got my mannequin set up with some nice clothes. glad to find something to do with that werewolf armor bc i didnt want to wear it lmao 

he hasnt been moving as much but ive still seen him posing with the shield or like. slightly off center/etc so hes probably still a lil haunted but thats ok we love and support haunted objects in this house 

gems have been relocated to a new bowl which is a STATIONARY OBJECT and it seems to be working out loads better :’  ) i havent had them fall out everywhere Once since i put em in there