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sugarcoated-lame · 1 year ago

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Life’s A Beach | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Single Dad!Bradley x Reader

This is the second installment of my single dad Bradley miniseries | part one | library blog

Summary: A few weeks have passed since meeting Bradley and Caroline, and what better way to spend time with the adorable father-daughter duo again than a day at the beach?

WC: 6K

Warnings: all of my works are 18+ minors DNI, shirtlessbradleyshirtlessbradleyshirtlessbradley, reader wears a bikini but there are no descriptions of body size/shape, mentions of food/eating, mutual pining, like one tiny mention of smut towards the end if you squint, I don’t really think there’s much else this is literally just straight up fluff, dilf Bradley just being the absolute sweetest, this part is much longer than the first bc I already had it written and then couldn’t help myself from adding almost 3k words while editing oops, once again I suck at titles and summaries :)

a/n: the header for this chapter was my first attempt at making a mood board, I hope y’all like it :) I love Dadley Dadshaw™️ and little Caroline so much, I couldn’t stop smiling while writing this chapter of pure fluff! If you enjoy it, please comment/reblog feedback is always appreciated. Thank you for reading! <3

•

You’re checking yourself in the mirror for probably the twentieth time when your phone buzzes with a text alerting you that Bradley is outside. You’d spent an embarrassing amount of time this morning trying on countless swimsuits in an attempt to find the perfect one.

It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon and with Bradley having the day off, and Caroline done with school for the weekend, he’d invited you to join them for a day at the beach. Since meeting them at the mall a few weeks ago when you’d helped reunite the father-daughter duo after the little girl had gotten lost, you’d maintained pretty regular communication.

The two of you had been texting almost daily, chatting about your days and getting to know each other a little better, and you were delighted to find out that Bradley did not, in fact, have a wife. He’d send you silly pictures of him and Caroline that never failed to make you smile even after a shitty day, and left you wondering how someone could still be so attractive while making the stupidest faces.

He told you a bit about his job — as not just a pilot like his daughter had told you when you met, but a fighter pilot, a naval aviator — and you told him about yours. You talked about your respective hobbies, favorite movies and your tastes in music among other things. Anything and everything that had come to mind, really.

Talking to Bradley was always easy. And there was definitely a bit of flirting. Okay, maybe a lot of flirting.

You’d also talk to Caroline too. She and Bradley had FaceTimed you a few times over the weeks and she’d update you all about how she was enjoying preschool so far, telling you that her daddy cried when he dropped her off on her first day — though, Bradley insists that he didn't — and about the new friends she’s made, before always asking when she’d get to see you again. You’d promised her, soon.

You’ve been pretty swamped with work, but you’re excited — if not a little anxious — to see them again. Though you hadn’t gotten another chance to see Bradley in person since that first day at the mall, your crush on him had grown exponentially. He was funny, charming, an amazing father to the sweetest little girl, and not to mention incredibly good looking.

Even through an iPhone camera, Bradley always looked so effortlessly gorgeous, his boyish smile and pretty eyes never failing to give you butterflies. You’d have to actively try not to swoon all the times he’d called you ‘sweetheart’ or said you looked pretty over FaceTime.

You could tell the mustached man liked you too, if his shameless flirting was anything to go by. He was too charming for his own good and he never seemed to fail to paint a blush on your cheeks. So, you want to make sure you look good when you join him and his daughter at the beach today.

You’d settled on a black bikini, the longline triangle top big enough to cover you up with enough cleavage to still be sexy, and the bottoms a little high waisted, the side strings pulled up high on your hips to accentuate your curves. You’d let your hair fall loose and flowing, and put on a light dusting of makeup.

After receiving Bradley’s text, you quickly throw on a matching black cover-up that ties at the front, your favorite pair of shorts and some flip flops, grabbing your bag and heading out the door.

Bradley’s waiting for you, leaned up against the side of his classic blue Bronco in a white and baby blue floral Hawaiian shirt — which you’ve learned over the last few weeks that he seems to own quite an array of, a pair of dark gray swim trunks that show off his muscular calves, and a pair of aviators shielding his eyes from the early afternoon sun.

His tanned features only seem to glow in the bright light of the sun, and as you watch Bradley’s face light up with a grin when he sees you, sandy curls blowing in the slight breeze, you have to clench your teeth to keep your jaw from dropping. God, he’s gorgeous.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

Bradley pulls you into a hug as soon as you reach him, and you happily wrap your arms around him. Inhaling his delicious scent and relishing in his warmth as you tell him that you’re doing good, before asking how he’s been too.

“I’ve been good, thanks. You look beautiful.” Bradley compliments you with a growing smirk once he releases you. You’re going to have to get used to the blush that seems to permanently reside over your cheeks whenever you are in his presence.

“You look– good too…” You trail off shyly, lips lifting into a sheepish grin as you push back some strands of hair that had blown in your face from the breeze, looking down at your sandal-clad feet.

Flirting with Bradley was much easier over text. You’re just thankful that his eyes are currently covered by his sunglasses, unsure if you’d be able to handle his deep, honeyed gaze on you right now without your knees buckling.

Bradley chuckles at your shyness, he loves how easily he can make you flush.

“Come on, I know someone is very excited to see you.” He places a gentle hand at the small of your back and leads you to the passenger side of the Bronco, opening the door for you. Your skin tingles with warmth where his hand had touched you as you climb into the passenger seat and Bradley closes the door for you.

Immediately upon entering the truck, you’re met with a high-pitched yell of your name. You turn around to see Caroline, all tucked into her car seat, sandy curls tied up in pigtails, and a tiny pair of aviator sunglasses that match her dad’s over her eyes. She really is Bradley's mini-me and you don’t think she could get any cuter.

“Hey, sweet pea!” She’d told you when you called her that on one of your FaceTime calls that that was her favorite nickname because peas are her favorite vegetable.

“You ready for a beach day?” You inquire happily, to which Caroline replies with a toothy grin and excited squeals of affirmation. She lifts her little aviators up onto the top of her head as she talks excitedly to you, while Bradley chuckles and begins to drive.

The two of you spend the entire drive to the beach chatting animatedly, Bradley chiming in here and there, but mostly just enjoying listening to the way you happily field the kind of questions and roundabout rambling that can only come from a four-year old.

He swears that his heart is going to explode out of his chest seeing how great you are with his daughter. How much Caroline already seems to love you, and how much you seem to love her too.

***

Upon arriving at the beach and finding a spot for the Bronco in the moderately crowded lot, Bradley quickly leaps out of the driver’s side to open your door for you, eliciting a bashful smile and quiet ‘thanks’ from you as he takes your hand in his much larger one to help you down.

When your feet are safely on the ground and he’s closed the door behind you, Bradley makes his way to the back door to help Caroline — who is bouncing her little legs and practically vibrating with excitement – out of her car seat.

The three of you make your way up to the beach, Bradley carrying a large cooler that he procured from the trunk. And while you try your hardest to not drool over his impressive arms, you hold a large tote that’s filled to the brim with a blanket, towels, Caroline’s countless beach toys, and an umbrella sticking out of the top in one hand, and Caroline’s smaller hand in your free one.

It’s only a short walk, and the second your feet touch the sand, Caroline’s little hand releases yours as she bounds ahead of you and her father in search of a good spot to set up.

Bradley lets out an exasperated sigh and lifts up his sunglasses, sharp eyes trained ahead to follow his daughter’s bouncing pigtails as she runs along the busy beach. “God, she’s really gotta stop doing that.”

Holding back a giggle — because you know firsthand that Caroline wandering off is a fairly common occurrence — you look up at Bradley with a sympathetic pout.

“Yeah, but if she didn’t do that, you never would’ve met me.” You shrug matter-of-factly, lips tugging up at the corner on their own accord.

Bradley can’t help but chuckle at that.

“I guess that’s true,” the playful smirk growing on your face draws a matching one onto his lips. “But, sooner or later, she’s gonna give her old man a heart attack.”

You join him in his laughter as you continue walking toward the empty spot where you see Caroline has stopped, bouncing on her feet and waiting for the two of you with an adorable toothy grin.

“You’re not that old.” With a playful roll of your eyes, you lightly smack his shoulder.

Once everything is set up – the blanket laid out along the sand and held down at the corners by the heavy cooler and the tote, the large beach umbrella creating a nice bit of shade, and Caroline’s various toys already scattered about — Bradley kicks off his flip flops and reaches up to begin unbuttoning his Hawaiian shirt. Dropping his aviators onto the blanket along with it, leaving him in just his dark gray swim shorts with his torso bare.

Whoa. You thought he was hot with his clothes on, but you nearly went into shock upon seeing him without them. You knew Bradley was obviously in shape — you could see that even under the Hawaiian shirts and soft looking Navy tees he always wore over Facetime – but you didn’t know he was that muscular.

All golden skin and rippling muscles, broad shoulders and strong arms. Almost ridiculously toned abs and thick thighs leading down to shapely legs, Bradley looked like he was sculpted by the gods. Though he was a father, he certainly did not have a ‘dad bod’. You guessed that his elite naval training must be to thank for that.

In the hopes of distracting yourself — and to stop yourself from frothing at the mouth over Bradley’s physique, you decide to focus on applying the sunscreen that you also found in Bradley’s beach bag. You remove your cover-up and shimmy out of your shorts, already enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun blanketing the newly exposed skin.

Holy shit, Bradley has to stop himself from saying out loud as he catches a view of you in your bikini.

The way that the black fabric fits your body perfectly, just a hint of your plush breasts visible in the triangle top and the high-cut bottoms with little strings that cinch in at your waist accentuating your curves in all the right places, has Bradley’s heart beating faster and his cheeks heating up with a flush that he knows is not just a product of the bright sun.

He feels like he might start drooling at any moment as he takes in the sight of your skin – so much skin, and he wants to know if it would feel as soft as it looks, under his fingertips.

He watches in awe as you begin to apply your sunscreen, delicate hands smoothing over planes of skin, and Bradley wishes he could replace them with his own. He needs to stop ogling you before his swim trunks begin to show the evidence of just how much you’re affecting him.

When you’re finished lathering yourself in sunscreen, Bradley’s heart starts clenching in his chest for a whole different reason as you offer to help Caroline apply hers. She accepts your offer without hesitation, head nodding a mile a minute and that big grin that never fails to make Bradley’s heart melt on her sweet little face, and he swears she’s never taken to anyone — not even the Dagger Squad — so quickly.

He gazes on, eyes with wide adoration as you kneel down to meet his daughter’s height, gently – and oh so patiently – rubbing the cream onto the baby-soft skin of her arms and legs as she jumps and squirms around, her golden brown curls bouncing, the impatient four-year old ready to take off like a tornado down the beach.

Bradley can’t help but admire the sweet smile that overtakes your face and your soft laugh as Caroline scrunches up her adorable little button nose while you apply the sunscreen to her face, and he swears his heart grows three times its size when he hears the giggles bubbling out of his little girl’s mouth as you playfully pinch her nose and let her know that you’re done.

“What do we say, Caroline?” Bradley asks his daughter before she has a chance to run off in her excitement. His tone is slightly stern and his hands are on his hips, though a smirk is tugging at the corner of his lips as he squints against the bright sun to look at his daughter who returns his gaze with a wide-eyed, almost caught-out expression.

“Thank you!” Caroline turns back to you and wraps her arms around your neck in a quick hug that makes your heart melt.

Before you can hug her back, she races over to her dad and hugs her arms around his hips, her little head resting on his taut belly as she looks up at him with those big, brown puppy dog eyes that rival his own.

“Can we go in the ocean, Daddy?”

When Bradley lovingly strokes the crown of her head and grins down at her, you swear you could cry from how adorable the two of them are. “Of course we can, Bug.”

Then, Bradley lifts his little girl off the sand – and she looks so tiny in his arms – and you can’t help but giggle at the two of them as he leans down to blow raspberries on Caroline’s tummy through the fabric of her ruffly lilac bathing suit, high-pitched squeals and shrieking giggles leaving her as she flails in his hold, breathlessly yelling, “Daddy, stop!” while he continues to tickle her.

“Alright, alright. I’m done.” Bradley chuckles, only stopping when one of Caroline’s flailing limbs nearly hits him in the face. He presses a kiss to one of her flushed cheeks, and then the two of them are looking at you with matching grins.

“You comin’, sweetheart?” The term of endearment makes your heart flutter. You glance between the two of them, holding back a laugh at the four-year old that’s buzzing with excitement in her father’s arms.

“I think I’m just gonna relax here for a bit and soak up some sun, but you two go ahead!”

Bradley looks down to where you sit on the beach blanket with an appraising look as you smile at the two of them, a hand hovering above your squinting eyes to shield them from the sun, and you could swear you catch his eyes trailing down the line of your body for just a second before returning to yours. “You sure?”

“Yeah, you two go! Enjoy some father-daughter time.” You nod, a pretty smile on your face, and the playful wink you send his daughter has Bradley’s swim trunks feeling the slightest bit tighter again. Yeah, maybe a few minutes apart from you would do him some good.

Little does Bradley know, your reasoning for staying back is similar to his for not arguing with that. You need a moment to yourself to refrain from doing something stupid – like trying to lick his abs or climb him like a tree – if you have to be up close to him and his gorgeous body for one more second.

You relax onto the blanket, your face hidden under the shade of the umbrella as you watch Bradley take off toward the ocean with Caroline still in his arms, the little girl giggling the whole way there.

You watch on adoringly as Bradley plays with his daughter, chasing her around on the wet sand and scooping her up in his strong arms, spinning her around and dunking her partially into the water. The two of them run through the waves, splashing each other, all smiles and laughs the entire time.

In just the brief time that you’ve known them, it’s very easy to see that Bradley’s daughter is his whole world.

When they return a while later, Caroline sprints ahead of her dad to reach you on the blanket where you’re already waiting with a smile to hand her her beach towel that has cute little frogs printed all over it.

Bradley reaches the two of you a few moments later and your arm freezes mid-air as you reach up to hand him a towel as well, too distracted to even ogle over his glistening, wet skin as you notice the red shade that’s beginning to take over the skin of his cheeks and his broad shoulders.

“Bradley, you’re all red! Did you put on any sunscreen?” You question with a breathy laugh, though Bradley can see the concern in your eyes as he takes the towel from your outstretched hand and begins to dry the water droplets on his tanned skin.

Before he can respond that he had, Caroline chimes in. “Daddy says he burns if he even looks at the sun!” She exclaims through her giggles.

You laugh along with her for a moment before fixing him with that cute, sympathetic pout again that makes Bradley’s heart flutter in his chest.

Before he knows it, you’re reaching into the beach bag for the tube of sunscreen and standing to be closer to his height – though he’s still got quite a few inches on you.

“Here, let me-” You squeeze some of the sunscreen out onto your fingers, and then your delicate hands are working the cream into the skin of Bradley’s face and his cheeks are, again, warming even more and not because of the sun.

His skin tingles where your light touch had been, and Bradley thanks whatever gods are out there that Caroline jumps in and insists that you build a sandcastle with her before you get a chance to start working the sunscreen onto his shoulders. He doesn’t know that he could handle you touching him any longer without saying or doing something stupid.

“Thanks, sweetheart. I think I can take it from here.” Bradley’s tone is flirty as he holds a hand out for the tube of sunblock, fingers grazing yours, and his lips turn up in a smirk at the flush developing on your own cheeks as you nod back at him. And he can’t suppress the quiet chuckle at the stumble in your steps as you make your way back over to Caroline to get to work on your sandcastle.

After applying the sunscreen to his own shoulders, Bradley sits down in the sand to join you and his daughter.

“Daddy! We’re building the world’s biggest sandcastle!” Caroline exclaims, filling up her bucket with sand. “It’s gonna be bigger than you!”

Bradley lets out a throaty laugh, “Yeah, I’ll bet!” He looks to you and the two of you grin at each other conspiratorially. “Can I help?”

Once the three of you have built – and demolished, a la Caroline jumping straight onto it – the “biggest sandcastle she’s ever seen”, she and Bradley convince you to get in the water with them.

You all play a game of tag in the shallows, Bradley stopping to lift his daughter out of the water every so often when there was a large wave, before you and Caroline decide to gang up on Bradley to splash him with salty seawater until he’s soaked and looking at the two of you with a pout that you want to kiss right off of his lips.

Then, Bradley’s pout quickly morphs into a mischief-filled grin, a matching one growing on his daughter’s face as you look between them, the two of them seeming to have a sort of silent conversation.

“What are you-” Before you can finish asking the question, you let out a yelp as a strong pair of arms wraps around your waist and lifts you into the air, both Bradley and Caroline laughing like hyenas as the four-year old begins splashing you with water, and you can’t help but laugh along with them as you squirm under Bradley’s very strong grip.

All too soon, Bradley’s arms are releasing you, but he keeps a steadying hand on your waist as he settles you back onto your feet. His whiskey-hued eyes peering into yours and you can only gaze back, left a bit breathless, your skin set alight with butterflies where his large palm had been even when he’s no longer touching you.

“Daddy, I’m hungry!” Caroline announces, tension in the air dissipating as she jumps up and down between the two of you, tugging on the hem of her dad’s swim trunks.

You can breathe again as Bradley chuckles at her and finally shifts his gaze away from you, pushing back some of the wet curls that are stuck to her forehead. “Yeah, me too. Lead the way, Bug.”

The three of you make your way back up to your little setup on the beach, the little girl tugging you along with a hand wrapped in yours.

Bradley produces a few little packs of apple slices and the three sandwiches he’d packed earlier that morning from the cooler, peanut butter and jelly – Caroline’s favorite, as you’ve learned over your many facetime calls with the father-daughter duo and giggled at the four-year old’s jelly-covered face, where you let them know they were one of your favorites too.

“Bon appetit.” Bradley chuckles, holding out one of the plastic wrapped, diagonally cut sandwiches to you, a slightly sheepish smile coming over his mustached lips. “I know it’s not much, but-”

You cut him off with a shake of your head before he can finish his statement, and meet him with a sincere grin. “It’s perfect.”

He hands Caroline the one sandwich that has the crusts cut off and a packet of apple slices, and then pulls out an ice cold bottle of water for each of you, and a juicebox for his daughter.

While Caroline sweetly asks you to put the straw into her juicebox for her, Bradley pulls out one last thing from the cooler that has your heart leaping in your chest when you turn to notice him place something down in front of you.

A bottle of your favorite iced tea. Something you’d never explicitly mentioned to him, but that Bradley had noticed you always seemed to be drinking on your video calls with them. It’s such a simple gesture, and yet you feel like you could cry at the sweetness of it.

Bradley’s chest swells with pride as you pin him with a bright smile, eyes full of adoration. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” Bradley sends you a wink that sends your heart into overdrive as he takes a bite out of his sandwich.

Bradley admires the two of you as he sits and eats his PB&J. His daughter is once again talking at you a mile a minute in that adorable, roundabout way that only little kids do as you follow along enthusiastically with a smile, you gently wiping jelly from Caroline’s face with a wet napkin and making sure that she drinks her water when you notice her cheeks getting a bit flushed.

“Just like her daddy.” He listens to you tell Caroline with a playful shake of your head, and the wink you send in his direction has Bradley swearing internally that he’s going to die, and he can’t help but think that he’d be more than happy to do this all the time.

After spending a while longer on the beach – you and Bradley sat on the large blanket chatting and watching Caroline play and build her own little castles with her pail and shovel, the three of you jumping in the water one more time, and you hiding your snickers behind your hand while Bradley tries to convince Caroline that it is not a good idea to bury him in the sand – the sun is just beginning to set.

And though he doesn’t want this day to end, Bradley decides it’s time to head home when he notices his four-year old rubbing her eyes and starting to yawn every couple of minutes.

You help him pack everything up and then the three of you make the trek back to the car, Caroline half asleep on her dad’s broad shoulders, while you walk close by Bradley’s side in a peaceful silence.

Caroline falls asleep almost instantly once Bradley gets her settled into the Bronco in her car seat, and you can’t help but coo at the adorable little girl when you turn back to look at her from the passenger seat.

The drive back to your apartment is a peaceful one, the sun still setting and bathing everything it touches in its dying golden glow — including Bradley — and you find it hard not to stare at his exquisite side profile as he bops his head along to the classic songs that play quietly from the radio as the two of you chat idly, low enough to not wake up the sleeping little girl in the backseat.

When the Bronco comes to a stop in front of your apartment, the sky has almost fully darkened and neither you or Bradley move for a long few moments, neither one of you really wanting to say goodbye, not quite ready for this perfect day to end yet.

Bradley clears his throat and turns his gaze to you with that boyish, mustached grin that sends butterflies coursing through your system and the smile you meet him with is an easy one.

“Thank you for coming today,” Bradley’s voice is quiet, raspy and deep and heat pools in your tummy as he continues to speak. “Caroline had a blast. She really likes you.”

His statement has you glancing back at the sleepy four-year old and beaming with adoration when you turn back to reply, “I really like her too. And, I had a great time. Thanks for inviting me.”

Bradley’s smile turns more playful as he nods his head, his honey brown eyes peering deep into your own as he quietly speaks again. “I really like you too.”

With the pulsing in your ears from your heart practically beating out of your chest, it takes you a few long seconds to reply and all you can manage to get out is a whispered “Yeah, me too…”

Your voice trails off and and your smile turns sheepish, gaze tilted down toward your lap to hide the obvious flush you know is blooming on your cheeks.

Bradley’s grin only broadens, eyes full of mirth at your sudden shyness.

“Can I walk you to your door?” His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine and you don’t really trust yours to be steady with him looking at you like that, so you simply nod in response.

After Bradley checks behind him to see that his daughter is still sleeping soundly in the backseat, he unbuckles his seatbelt and quietly hops out of the Bronco. He quickly makes his way over to the passenger side to open the door for you and help you down from his truck.

With one last look through the window at Caroline, Bradley locks up the Bronco and you begin the short walk to your door. The two of you are trailing along the concrete path slowly, Bradley’s palm hovering at the small of your back to guide you and warming your skin through the thin fabric of your cover-up.

You hesitate when you reach your front door, leaning your back against the hardwood to face Bradley, still not quite ready to cut your time with him short.

Peering up at him through your lashes, you thank Bradley before letting him know again, “I really had a great time today.”

“Yeah, me too, sweetheart.” You could swear he’s really trying to kill you every time he uses that nickname. “We should definitely do this again sometime.”

Your voices are both still quiet, as if to not disturb the peaceful, but intense atmosphere that’s built around the two of you.

“Yes, we should.” You nod your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth as Bradley’s eyes peers into yours, pools of molten honey searching your expression.

Whatever he’s looking for, he seems to find it. One of his big hands reaches up to cup your cheek, large palm splaying across the smooth skin and long fingers reaching into your hair, and he loves the way you instantly lean into his warm touch.

Bradley just admires you for a long moment, his heavy gaze trailing down from your pretty eyes to your plush lips, further to where your chest is rapidly rising up and down under your sheer cover-up as your breath quickens, and then back up again to see the look of want in your dilated eyes.

When he can no longer take the tension that’s been building up between you all day, Bradley takes a step closer, leaving only a few inches between the two of you. He leans down and the hand on your cheek guides your lips up to meet his in a kiss that’s sweet, but firm, and all-consuming.

Your lips move softly against his, one of your hands lifting up to wrap around the wrist of his hand that still cups your face. His pulse under your fingertips grounding you as you sigh into the kiss, and you think you could get lost in him.

His lips, gentle and languid as they press against your own, the hairs of his mustache tickling your skin, and the comforting scent of him surrounding you — the spicy cologne that still lingers on his clothes, a hint of sweat mixed with the fresh, beachy scent from a day spent on the sand and sea, and something that’s just Bradley.

When Bradley deepens the kiss, lips moving more fervently against your own, your resulting whimper has him crowding you against the door, no longer an inch of space left between your bodies as his broad chest presses against yours, his free hand coming to grip at your waist.

Bradley’s tongue trails the seam of your lips, begging for entrance that you grant him without resistance, swallowing his deep groan as your free hand reaches up to his hair. Your fingers tangle into the strands, his waves extra defined from the salty sea water, fluffy from the beach and now, you.

As your tongue glides along with his, Bradley’s strong hands now both squeeze at your waist, trailing down your sides until they reach the backs of your thighs. He effortlessly lifts you into his strong arms, never breaking the kiss, and your legs wrap around his waist as the weight of his body presses you harder into your front door.

Things continue on like this — for minutes or hours, you’re not quite sure as you completely lose yourself in the feeling of Bradley’s kiss — only getting deeper, hungrier, more frenzied. Your lips never parting from Bradley’s despite the burning that’s beginning to grow in your lungs, thighs clenching around his hips in search of even a hint of friction to curb the arousal that’s building in your core.

Bradley finally pulls away when the lack of oxygen gets to be too much. Your lips chase his, the little whimper you send him when his mouth is no longer on yours, going straight to his cock that’s pressed against your hip, straining against his already-tight swim trunks, and his head is spinning from the way your lips trail down to press gentle kisses to his jaw.

He wishes he could take you inside your apartment — to your bed, and he would have, but it’s then that he remembers his four year-old daughter is asleep in the backseat of his car.

Bradley’s forehead presses against your own and he breathes in deep before exhaling a deep sigh to steady himself. After pressing one last peck to your lips, he sets your feet back down on the ground. He takes a step back to look at you, hands hesitating to leave your waist as he doesn’t want to stop touching you yet.

Your expression is dazed, lips are swollen and eyes blown wide, your heaving chest matching his own as you take the oxygen back into your lungs, and Bradley can’t help but pull you in one last time with a hand on the back of your neck to kiss you breathless — again.

When he pulls away this time, Bradley hardly gives himself a moment to catch his breath before he pants out, “Can I please take you on a date?”

You nod your head near-frantically and you laugh just as breathlessly. “I was starting to think you’d never ask.”

Bradley chuckles, gazing down at you in adoration, his thumb that reaches up to caress your cheek and his next words draw a blush to your cheeks.

“Believe me, I’ve wanted to for weeks. Since the first day that we met you.”

You turn your head to press a sweet kiss to Bradley’s thumb.

“You could have. I definitely would’ve said yes.” You reply with a bashful smile.

“Yeah, I’m a bit off my game. I haven’t really done this in a while if I’m being honest.” Bradley admits a little sheepishly and you nod along, encouraging him to continue.

“I haven’t dated much since Caroline. She’s kinda become my whole world.” He scratches the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward and hoping you don’t think that’s pathetic.

You take his hand in yours and smile at Bradley, eyes shining bright in what can only be described as admiration.

“You’re an amazing father, Bradley. You're so dedicated to Caroline and that’s one of the things I love most about you.”

You give his hand a gentle squeeze as you gaze up at him, leaning up on your tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his sun-reddened cheek. “And I definitely want to go out with you.”

“Thank god.” The pair of you let out relieved laughs at his words. Bradley’s hands reach out for your waist once again. “Come here.”

Bradley leaves you with one more passionate kiss that ends way too quickly for either of your liking and a ‘Goodnight, sweetheart’ that paints a blush on your cheeks.

After making sure that you’re safely inside your apartment, Bradley strides back to the Bronco, unable to wipe the grin from his lips. With a glance in the rearview mirror at his baby girl still sound asleep in her car seat, he begins the short journey back to their home, a goofy smile on his face for the entirety of the drive as he thinks about how he’s going to take you on the perfect date.

•

Thank you for reading! x

Don't forget to comment/reblog if you enjoyed, feedback is always appreciated! I've got one more part planned for this little series, it's not written yet but I hope to get it out to you guys soon <3

tag list: @wkndwlff @sebsxphia @chaoticassidy @dempy @ohgodnotagainn @shanimallina87 @mavrellover91 @memoriesat30 @that-bitch-bri @classyunknownlover @hisredheadedgoddess28 @foreverrandomwritings @lt-spork @princess76179 @gigisimsonmars @kidd3ath @averyhotchner @sammyrenae68 @tv-fanatic18 @one-sweet-gubler @kmc1989 @avengersfan25 @fictionalmenloversblog @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby @praline357 @girlsclub2004 @misshoneypaper @diorrfairy

also tagging some people who reblogged/commented on part one: @bitter-post-millennial @rhettabbotts @hangmanssunnies @milestomaverick @becks-things @indynerdgirl @perfectprettypisces @annathesillyfriend @southpawbitch @colourfulsuitwonderland @wildxwidow @roger-that-cap @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @valhallaas @mayari-tala @teacupsandtopgun @dorothychxca @fangirlvoice @jjenjoysthings @kmc1989 @rosiahills22 @je-suis-prest-rachel

#bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x y/n #Bradley Bradshaw x you #rooster #rooster bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw x you #top gun fanfiction #miles teller #dad bradley #single dad bradley #my writing

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sdeprived · 3 months ago

Text

The Oldest Dream & Kim Dokja's guilt.

Even if 100% kdj could've gone back with the Kimcom after their encounter with OD I highly doubt he would've been able to happily walk out of that train with them as if nothing happened. That kind of development was always impossible, bc kdj himself wouldn't DARE to imagine it after what he discovered when he met Oldest Dream.

He felt so much guilt that he couldn't and wouldn't be able to forgive himself, so that final act of heroism and salvation -stepping up as the OD and staying behind to maintain that world's existence- was also his self imposed punishment, and he needed that more than he needed his own happiness.

That's why the part of him that went back with the Kimcom was the half that didn't remember being OD. He wouldn't be able to look at his companions' faces knowing that all of the tragedies happened bc he dared to read some webnovel to escape his own.

And seeing things from his perspective, his reaction makes so much sense. Imagine you spend all of your time thinking and planning and trying to find a way out of hell for you and your dearest people just to find out you're "responsible" for their misery. That's tough. Even if nobody ever blamed him, it's like 99% impossible that he wouldn't blame himself.

It's commonly said in the fandom that kdj doesn't understand how loved he is, but I think things go a little more deep, bc kdj is no fool (at least the "rational" part of him lmao). He saw his friends sacrifice and fight for him, he heard them say and prove how much they cared for him, and he even felt guilty about how much his repeated deaths affected them, so he's very much aware of the FACT that he is loved and wanted. What I do think is that he refuses to accept all that love bc he thinks he doesn't deserve it after everything he has done.

He thinks he has to suffer and sacrifice himself eternally to atone for his original sin, and also due to his history of trauma, he has engraved in his mindset the thought that he's meant to be alone and separated from the world, that's how it's ought to be, so when the "narrative" had to form the ideal and ultimate torture scenario for him, it was exactly that.

And maybe it's up to interpretation, and this has an explanation inside the fantasy and world building (not up to that part of the Side Story but I've seen some mild spoilers). but that final part in which the Kimcom regressed together and crossed the whole 1865 worldline just for him, while he was reading almost simultaneously what was happening, that they were coming for him, to me personally felt very bittersweet, bc as much as he wanted to go back with them, he also wanted to stay firm in his decision of keeping himself away.

And that's exactly what he did. Him breaking into millions of pieces and scattering through universes to me feels like he -once again- ran away from his happiness. At least metaphorically speaking I believe it was meant to convey that in some way.

Maybe the "magical" consequence has its own explanation, but it also happened bc kdj himself wasn't able to "dream" an ending in which he didn't need to punish and isolate himself anymore.

And that's why the last attempt to bring him back was to reach all of his fragments and show them how he was seen from his companions eyes.

There are so much themes and symbols in orv that I find myself trying to interpret every single event in as much angles as possible. It is genuinely entertaining 'cause there are so many different approaches to this specific topic that could be made.

Btw this whole rant was inspired by this Twitter thread :D go give it a read if you want!

-Sleep🌵

#orv novel #orv side story #kim dokja #orv rant #orv spoilers #oldest dream #orv kdj #orv analysis #rambles #thoughts

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elrieldreamer · 4 months ago

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I just read the BC and feel so sad. Maybe I’m not paying attention, but what was the reason for including so much Gwyn and conflicting things in a single chapter? I specially don’t understand that last part. Does Azriel really like Gwyn? Did he forget about Elain so quickly? I don’t know what SJM was thinking. Was her objective to end the book in an ambiguous way to start a ship war? I don’t get it.

Hey, Anon. Don’t feel sad! This is a pretty common question, BUT Elriels have EVERY reason to be confident, even after (and even BECAUSE OF) the infamous bonus chapter.

I’d like to start with a little setup for Elriel leading up to the ACOSF Solstice. We see across multiple books that Elriel have a special relationship. Azriel seeks out physical touch from Elain, which is unusual for him. He spends time with her, sitting in the garden while she works, talking late into the night on Solstice, watching her through windows, etc... He actively helps her discover her gift (when Madja said a mate would know), trusts her with the prized weapon that he’s never let another soul touch, is protective of her physically (insists that he WILL save her from Hybern’s camp), and even peacocks for her, sunning his wings in her presence. By the end of ACOFAS it’s pretty clear that there is something special building between these two.

In ACOSF, we see more development for Elain and Azriel’s feelings, though it is more subtle since Nesta and Cassian are front and center. We see Cassian notice that Azriel has moved on from Mor, Elain and Azriel sharing shy smiles, Azriel becoming agitated and protective of Elain when Nesta verbally lashes out at her, and worrying about her offer to attempt scrying. He’s staying at the House of Wind to chaperone Nesta and Cass, but also to put some distance between himself and Elain. Because he knows that she’s considered a female off limits to him. At the Solstice celebration, Azriel struggles to be in the same room as Elain and Lucien, and Nesta is sympathetic as she realizes that Azriel has feelings for Elain.

Which brings us to the bonus chapter. Bonuses are meant to reinforce what we’ve already seen in the main text, but because they have a limited release (and this one had a very limited printing), they generally don’t introduce new concepts. In this BC, we learn that:

- Azriel and Elain have mutual feelings and attraction for each other.

- If Az and Elain were to pursue each other, it could start an inter-court war.

- The priestesses have powers that we should be cognizant of.

So - confirmation of the feelings that we knew were growing between Az and Elain, to the point that Azriel bought her a gift usually given to mates (ACOFAS) and Elain drives a sexually charged encounter forward. The language in this portion is soft and romantic.

Rhys stepping in set up conflict that we will likely see play out in an Elriel story. Elain is a female mated to an Autumn Court (well, Day, but Autumn for this purpose) male. If Az is found pursuing her, a Blood Duel could be called, with the potential for massive, inter-court drama. Additionally, we have to remember that Rhys was under incredible pressure at this point, his mortality tied to Feyre who was in the middle of a potentially life threatening pregnancy.

An example of what we’ve already seen in the main text - that Gwyn has latent powers that she may or may not be cognizant of. In this portion, we start to see use of power and siren language. Azriel’s shadows don’t alert him to Gwyn’s presence (which is unusual). They dance in her breath “like it heard some silent music”. Her hair goes from “coppery brown” to “shining like molten metal” as she starts asking him questions, after he’s already made it clear that he wants to limit the interaction as much as possible. He hears music as he leaves the ring. In a book where we’ve been introduced to lightsingers, it’s interesting that she seems to both light up and emit music.

Then, the interaction with Clotho again hits home that the priestesses have magic that we shouldn’t ignore, and we see more siren type language. Azriel has been meaning to return the necklace to the Palace of Thread and Jewels all day, but “finds himself” at the library. Coincidentally, it’s 7 bells, so it’s likely that the priestesses are singing in their evening service (much like they were when Nesta was lured into her vision of the Harp). It had been previously conjectured that Clotho could possess some form of daemati powers. Nesta mentions when she first meets her that it felt like she could sense her thoughts/emotions. Rhys has also told us that the priestesses are not all trustworthy, and that they’ve “burrowed” their way into multiple courts. We know that Koschei has been “receiving information on the wind”, and Merrill has power over wind. I’m not saying that Gwyn, Clotho, and every other priestess in the library is villainous, but I am saying that SJM seems to be reminding us that we should pay attention to them.

The final portion of this chapter is often misconstrued as a romantic moment between Az and Gwyn, but when we look at it a little deeper, this scene isn’t romantic at all. Azriel isn’t even in Gwyn’s presence, but Clotho��s. Clotho, who likely has daemati powers. The image is of Gwyn (who he said he wouldn’t even consider a friend) wearing a necklace that was clearly chosen especially for Elain. It’s important to note the language here - the image of Gwyn wearing the second-hand necklace is said to “glow quietly” after that spark. “Glow” being a measure of LIGHT and “quietly” being a measure of SOUND. Azriel CONCIOUSLY tucks the thought away (as if it had happened UNCONSCIOUSLY). Suspicious, no?

I saved the “spark” in Azriel’s chest for last because it gets brought up time and time again as a “mate” moment by antis. “Spark” is often used by SJM in relation to power. We see multiple examples of its use throughout the three series (Tamlin/Feyre, Rhys/Bryce/Amren, etc …), but this example is the most compelling in comparison to what we see in this particular BC, because the wording is even very similar:

Lorcan barely tolerates Aelin. There is absolutely nothing romantic between them. Lorcan is describing the interaction of POWER when taking the blood oath. In a BC that is already hinting at hidden powers, it makes much more sense that the spark Azriel feels is related to interaction of power, not love.

Finally, what happens between Azriel and Gwyn after the Solstice?

Nothing.

If Azriel had a “mate moment” in that BC or realized that he was attracted to her, wouldn’t we expect more interaction? A sweet moment or two as noticed by Nesta or Cassian? You’d think so. Instead, we know that Azriel is still upset after Solstice. He won’t even give Nesta a smile. SJM herself said that Azriel was throwing snowballs full of rocks at Rhys in anger and frustration. When the ladies are taken for the Blood Rite Cassian is losing his mind with worry because his mate is in danger. What about Az? He tells Cassian to trust in their training and heads off to deal with Eris. He’s not having a big, emotional reaction. If SJM wanted to set Az and Gwyn up as a “thing” this would’ve been the PERFECT moment for her to add in a little aggression/emotion. But … there’s nothing. No “I’m getting her back”. No churning eyes. Nothing that we saw when it was Elain in danger.

That ended up being way longer than anticipated, and I apologize if it is disjointed. 😂 I wrote it in multiple sittings, so I’m sure it got away from me. Have a great day, anon!

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minkkumaz · 1 year ago

Text

DISASTEROLOGY

hyunjin dreamed of you and the things you'd do together, and not one soul knew about it. he finally draws up the courage to show you his intentions

PIERCE THE VEIL series

PAIRING hwang hyunjin x gn!reader WC 1.1k TAGS friends to lovers. lovesick hyunjin. confessions. smooching. slightly angst. fluff. suggestive implications. OMI NOTE i think out of all the members i struggle with writing hyunjin the most. i literally dwelled on this for so long but honestly turned out better than i expected. @skullverse, my ptv twin. this one is for you my schmookum wookums bc ik he's ur fav!!

a single finger traced over hyunjin’s abs, making him take a sharp breath. there were a million different kinds of fun, but that was only a figment of his mind’s eye. when he was tucked in between his sheets, a tainted dream resurfaced every night.

but this wasn’t true, no, it was completely impossible. nobody knew that he dreamt about you, the dates he’d take you on, and the way he’d hold your hand so perfectly that not one person would get a single idea besides ‘they must be together.’

this was his imagination, and when he wasn’t happily rested within it, the world felt like it was at end.

often time’s he’d wake up in a cold sweat. running a hand through his hair to detach the pieces that stuck to his forehead. his shirt clung to his body, lacking the touch of you underneath.

hyunjin sighed, looking over to his blinking alarm clock that had a small sketchbook next to it. you were meant to come over soon to spend some time with him since days like that came rarely. one quick nap later and he was soon reminded of how badly he wanted you, yet couldn’t have you.

it was everything. the way your lips parted slightly when you were confused, how you stabilize yourself by holding onto his shoulders after he teaches you choreography, or maybe when your hand brushed against his as you walked alongside him.

a low groan of annoyance fell from his lips, moving from his spot on the bed to freshen up in the bathroom. looking in the mirror was only a reminder that today was supposed to be the day he’d say something to you; imply that he wanted so much more than to just be friends.

all he saw was his fear looking back at him. out of every drawing he’s ever made, he could never sketch out a coherent idea of how he fell victim to your spell. so instead he settled with drawing you. just you.

it was now or never, right?

picking up his phone from the charger, he sent you a text to let you know that it was okay to come over. it wouldn’t take very long, as you didn’t live too far. in the meantime, he pushed down these possessive thoughts and cleaned himself up.

the clock felt like it was ticking slower than ever, but that was just a misconception when he heard the gentle knock on his door. thousands of butterflies awoke in his stomach, and he had never been more nervous than in that moment.

he walked over to unlock the door and let you inside. you were cozy in some pajamas, with a jacket hugging your body.

“hyun!” you grin, reaching your arms around him in a hug, enabling his hands to snake around your waist.

“hey, i haven’t seen your face in awhile.” he ruffled your hair gently.

“pff, only because you’re too busy with tour.” you tease him, pulling away to follow back to his bedroom.

“okay maybe i was a little busy! but i have a present for you from when i was on tour.” he tells you, grabbing the sketchbook on his night stand and handing it to you.

“for me?” you flipped it open to see an image of yourself laying prettily on the first page.

every pencil stroke dug into the paper, getting only the finest of details. you lower yourself back on his bed, still admiring the drawing.

“do you like it?” he smiles at you.

“do i like it? i love it oh my gosh!” you bounce slightly on his mattress, giddy with endorphins.

you place the book next to you on the comforter, reaching your hands out to pull him towards you in another embrace. in the midst of this all, he falls against you on the bed.

all you could do was let out quiet giggles with the boy on top of you, his head stuffed in the crook of your neck.

he lifted himself up, leaning up on one of his forearms. his free hand traveled to your face, moving small strands of hair that were blocking your vision. a pink hue played across his cheeks; this position felt too similar to the ones in his imagination.

“i don’t know how you were able to get all those details of me. you even got one of my moles!” you beam from underneath him.

“you’re just on my mind all the time, how could i not?”

“uh huh, you’re too busy being one of the most desired men on the planet.” you joke with him, failing to realize he was being serious. your expression shifts when he doesn’t laugh.

“did you know that i dream about you, y/n?” he says tenderly, grazing his fingertip over your jawline.

“wh– pardon?” you mutter.

“there’s so much i want to tell you, but i don’t want to scare you off.” he looked intimidating, towering over you. but there was so much care in his words that it confused you.

“hyunjin.. you could never scare me off. i value all of my time with you.” you respond calmly, trying to mask your flusteredness.

the line he drew down your face stopped, instead drifting down your neck and across your collarbones. a shiver travelled down your spine.

“are you sure that you mean that, y/n?” his voice was composed sweetly.

“i mean it.”

“whenever i draw you, i think back to these daydreams i have about you. about us. we did so much together, but none of it was real.” he stopped, “it made me second guess things a lot. but i figured that even if the world was ending, shouldn’t we spend the rest of our time in love?”

“i– i don’t know what to say.” you lay below him with a shocked look on your face, but you were far from scared. you were curious.

“don’t say anything. just imagine us, please?” there were undertones of distress in his words.

“i like you, so much. but i don’t want to ruin things between us. i was so terrified.” you confess, biting back a frown.

“you won’t ruin anything, my muse. you’re anything far from poisonous. things will be okay.”

“how will i know for sure?”

hyunjin looks into your glazed eyes, you were looking like you were about to cry. this only made him smile more.

he leaned down closer to you, until he was only inches away from your ear. you could feel every inhale and exhale sliding down the side of your neck.

“you’ll know if you stay. i want to create something beautiful,” he whispers, “then destroy it.”

© 2023 minkkumaz, all rights reserved support your writers by reblogging + giving feedback! it is greatly encouraged and appreciated. thank you! → why feedback + reblogging is so important. ~ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ if you'd like, donate to minkkumaz ! PIERCE THE VEIL series

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muzicgenerator · 1 year ago

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Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #george listing #gustav schäfer #fluff #light angst #tw stalking #sorry

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lilbittymonster · 27 days ago

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9 and 10 for the Violence questions

Worst parts of canon & Worst parts of fanon?

worst part of canon

There are far too many single solitary events for me to pick out as The Worst Ever so I'll take it a bit above board and say the pacing of Endwalker was the fucking worst. Heavensward is a close second with the whole "you're at the Aery now oh oops time to go back to fuckin' Ul'dah" thing. But Endwalker just keeps escalating and escalating and escalating and escalating with a few scheduled 9 minute supervised breaks and then back to escalating.

And I get it, the world is ending, the stakes are high, but the lack of actual release between tensions was making me so fucking miserable playing through it. And that's not just an issue of trying to grind out the expansion ahead of all the inevitable spoilers that people refuse to tag for. My friends who have been playing it much slower than I were complaining about the same pacing issues in the same spots as I was so it was really vindicating for me.

I was also spending a good deal of MSQ just watching very obviously scheduled emotional beats sail right by because I don't actually like Hydaelyn that much. She's never been "my crystal mommy" -gags- and coming off of Shadowbringers the dynamic between the Scions is. Not great? To put it lightly? And there was really no time spent actually getting to get immersed in a board before jetting off again. Like, once again, yes I know the world is ending. But having only one board per area made it feel like just set dressing as opposed to basically every other expansion where we get to spend at least a little time getting a feel for the new area. And I kept feeling like I was missing out on something after flying over All This Space only to have maybe two or three points of interest.

And like, fuck those follow quest mechanics, man lmao I'd rather deal with the blowdart shit again.

worst part of fanon

I don't know if it's canon or fanon but I'm putting it here anyways; I don't fuck with the idea that the Ascians were tempered by Zodiark. I feel like that cheapens the narrative just a bit. Like no, they're not tempered, they're 12,000 years into a sunk cost fallacy. The Rejoinings won't work bc they botched the 13th, but they just keep trucking along anyways because what else have they got? That's not tempering, that's 12,000 years of being stuck with your weird coworkers and without any sort of framework for actually processing grief (see: Hermes' whole deal) and having nothing left to go on but "the only way out is through".

This may not be The Worst but it's the one that I come up against the most that actively bothers me that I haven't already addressed. I tend to ignore most fanon interpretations on a grand scale.

Thanks for the asks @hazelkjt

Choose Violence

#replies #hazelkjt #endwalker spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #just in case #i think there's some overlap with the whole zodiark thing so

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shiftingtomydrs · 7 months ago

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MLB DR

Alright so same as with some other drs my personal stuff like name and everything is the same soo wont go into that a lot tbh

then backstory, i originally wanted to be like an exchange student in france but then like i cant very well be ladybug if im only there for a year so i switched it to i move to france for some reason i dont know yet and i live there with my aunt or smth bcs she lives near paris yk? then basically i just kinda take marinettes place but not completely, like shes still there and stuff but im there too yk? my love interest is adrien and marinette will get together (and stay together) with luca cos theyre cute and im not sure yet if i should script her crush on adrien out or just say it disappears at some point

changes in plot: i dont like anything after season 2, dont ask me why, i just dont like it idk why either, so im gonna script seasons 3-5 out with some exceptions (e.g. i kinda really like cat blanc so i might leave that in with some other stuff but the whole shadow moth and all that shit no) also lila isnt the next supervillain shes just a regular mean girl cos it doesnt make any frickin sense that a 15 year old is able to manipulate every single person she meets. like shell still be able to lie and manipulate people her age but not adults cos thats just stupid imo. Also i havent even watched season 5 yet so im going off spoilers i saw for the next part: none of the miraculous will have permanent holders except ladybug and chat noir (aka me and adrien) cos i like to be special :) also i wont be guardian of the miraculous until much later like college or smth cos thats a ton of pressure and it went sideways for marinette so i dont want it going sideways for me. oh and a big one: ill be taking the whole sentimonster plot out cos i hate it and i think ive never hated a plot as much as that one. like sentimonsters can exist okay but felix and adrien and kagami etc arent one. cos just no. oh and ofc i wont know adrien is chat noir haha

now a bit more about myself: idk yet if i just wanna kinda steal marinettes interests and do the whole design thing cos i am a sucker for parallels and the parallel of adriens parents and adrinette is there but then again why would i wanna be like gabriel? so i might just do what i do in 90% of my drs and be a songwriter (well ill be that anyway question is do i add the designing part on top or not?), otherwise i like baking, ill do figure skating or gymnastics or ballet prolly like all the things i wanna do here but cant for this or that reason. my nationality will be german prolly cos i like having the german passport and also i dont think i need a visa for france cos its in the eu. i wont really script much more about like me and adrien except that we end up together but in my head its kinda similar to the adrien and marinette situation cos im a sucker for slowburn and idk it just fits i think also with my issues with trusting people have good intentions and not just spend time with me bcs of a bet or shit like that.

Physical looks, i might change my hair color cos idk i think itll fit and yeah but ill still have my eye color and height and stuff just be a bit fitter cos with my endurance theres no way ill be able to be a superhero (ik theres magic and shit but still)

im not sure yet if i should leave the dr as a cartoon or do it like this reality (leaning towards this reality bcs i think cartoon would freak me out a bit for my first shift and id overcomplicate it) or maybe ill just do two drs, one cartoon and one not.

anyway, if you have any questions, id love to talk more about this dr so pls ask them <3

@ningsols here it is :)

#desired reality #shifting #reality shifting #shift #reality shift #shifter #shifting realities #shifting diary #shiftblr #shifters #miraculous ladybug dr #mlb dr

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 9 months ago

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Everybody loves Makoto/ Kokichi's crush (saiou endgame)

Clown_Chaoticz: Everyone once in while I wanna put Ouma in the "had a passing crush on makoto" pile, in like a hopes peak scenario It lasted like 3 days and he was very weird about it. He looks back on it in shame Just cause I think it's really funny

Sini: Makoto seems so boring but is so sweet, cute, and has his interesting moments, making the fact that he’s also so normal fascinating

Clown: He's also just so incredibly empathic. He really does try his best to understand the people around him Makoto pats his back a little too nicely and kokichi starts avoiding him like the plague

Sini: That’s literally how Mukuro falls for him He was the only one who smiled at her and wanted to understand her. Who saw past her So yeah, makes sense the same would apply to Kokichi

Clown: Makoto really do be everyone's first crush/j

Ves: makoto gives him one of his eight jackets on a cold night (shuuichi vc) i'll never be good enough for ouma-kun….i just don't have enough jackets…! cute boy….physical contact….genuine attempts at understanding…..

Clown: He can throw him into the wildest situations and Makoto never holds anything against him, he's used to weirdness Unfortunately Makoto sees him as like, one of those neighborhood kids he gets along with

Ves: NOOO HE WOULD hits him with the Brotherly Hair Ruffle and kokichi has violent flashbacks to his crush on rantarou why does this always happen to him

Sini: Wait……..looks at Makoto and Shuichi……He has a type Kokichi when protag energy Man, he and Shuichi are both losers. Falling for people who are nice to them lol

Clown: Shuichi would probably also have a passing crush on Makoto thinking about it ashsbsks

Ves: SNDJBHFG EXACTLY….(1) ounce of compassion and they're FALLING he spends time around him bc of kyouko and is like Oh………..he's so nice……………

Beez: makoto gets every single person in hpa to fall in love with him speedrun any%

Clown: Okay, gotta saiouify this. Shuichi and his genius detective skills catches wind of Ouma chucking himself out windows anytime Makoto so much as steps into the same room and gets roped into the wildest confession scheme Makotos luck fucks them over so much it's almost impossible, then shuichi starts to catch feelings when Ouma explains why he felt anything in the first place. Shenanigans

Sini: Even Junko loves him Especially Junko, actually

Me: real, for Junko he's basically her irl blorbo, she wants to put him in situations

Clown: Okay, so thinking about how Makoto somehow rizzed his way into having half his class fall in love with him. Kokichi ends up on that list. Makoto in his empathic nature is just, easy to get along with, and more so, even with the more unpleasant people in his class, he considers all of them friends and makes an effort to keep this. Not because he lets himself get walked over, but because he thinks everyone he talks to has a part to them worth knowing. He extends this same thing to Ouma, which leads to the budding of ✨️ a crush ✨️. And Ouma does what he does best and explodes. He's a little weirdo about it, peeking at him from around corners and scrambling away on all fours/j when Makoto approaches him. Maybe during one of his escapades ouma climbs out of a window, scaring shuichi who's out there for whatever reason. Shuichi puts 2 and 2 together and Ouma threatens to end his life in the aftermath. Shuichi, also knowing Makoto, decides to encourage Ouma to confess. Which obviously leads to Ouma roping him into helping him, "Thats a great idea my little helper!" "What." Boom shenanigans. With the bonus of Shuichi getting to see the evasive completely human part of Kokichi. All it takes is Ouma offhandly explaining how Makoto makes him feel like he's worth knowing, and he's smiling genuinely. Then shuichi goes "Uh. Oh."

Sini: YES! I LOVE THIS SM! I can’t help but think Kokichi bumps into Mukuro when he’s spying on Makoto, cause she’s doing the same lol

Hina: Is Shuichi now stuck being his wingman

Clown: Shuichi is being forced to sit on his bedroom floor as he presents plan after plan yes

Beez: shuichi wingmanning for kokichi while having a fat crush on him is always so fucking funny

Sini: He has thoughts about sabotage but could never go through with that. He’s not the greatest jealous type

Hina: Wait What happens if he does confess to Makoto Please say he’s talked to Makoto more than like. Once.

Ves: makoto lets him down gently i imagine or mb just. gets with someone else before kokichi can make his move

Clown: Makotos luck nerfs any planning and he walks off obliviously with shuichi and ouma collapsed on the floor in the background

Sini: Bro gets with Kyoko or Byukuya or both and Kokichi and Mukuro cope together lmao

Beez: i mean if its both kyoko and byakuya whos to say he wont just . add kokichi and mukuro to his harem too

Sini: Mukuro maybe. But Kokichi no chance

Hina: Okay but Beez that just gives me the image of Makoto saying yes to everyone He can’t turn someone down

Me: combine them, it's 37th attempt, finally everything goes according to plan, Makoto says he just started seeing someone yesterday

Hina: No Makoto says yes Me: shut up Hina: WDYM I WAS GONNA MAKE IT BETTWR ITLL BE FUNNY I SWEAR Me: no, go to hell, Shuichi is comforting Kokichi now [this is playful. but, reader, ahead of you are two paths]

Hina: Makoto dates everyone. While secretly trying to match make them with other people. He can’t say no but… he can convince them to break up with him for a better partner

Me: that would be fucked up for him to do tho like, as a person

Hina: We are ignoring the fucked up nature This is for comedy purposes

Me: I can't, it's ooc and messing with everyone's feelings, it's gonna hurt people more than rejection

Hina: (Nah but you seriously don’t have to go with it, I just think it’s funny) Alright fine Makoto can reject him I still want him to play matchmaker though

Me: also, with it already being a polycule, his partners getting with other people would not get Makoto out of the mess he made I mean, I guess some of them wouldn't be okay with poly, like, Byakuya probably draws the line at sharing with Kyoko, he won't compromise with 10 peasants

Hina: It was more him trying to get them to understand that the traits they like about him are things they can find in other people and that a puppy crush on him isn’t going to be the fantasy relationship they’re imagining

Clown: There's also the option of Makoto and shuichi friendship. Where Makoto encourages him to confess and shuichi is wracked with guilt lmao "I'll cheer you on!" Shuichi:[grimacing emoji]

Me: man, I just wanted Shuichi to hold a crying Kokichi, pet his back in soothing motions while holding back his own feelings because it's the wrong moment to bring up why Kokichi is wrong in his dramatic woes about love

Hina: I mean that can happen But does Kokichi know Makoto like. At all?

Ves: theyre casual friends not SUPER close but they know each other!! i don't think kokichi gets crushes on strangers

Me: okay, tbh, I imagined it more as a "Makoto saw him seeming upset once and tried to cheer him up" kind of thing but that came from the fact that when it started you said he had the crush for whole 3 days so I imagined that this scenario was just snowballing from that, keeping it alive because Shuichi encouraged him to pursue it, so he got to notice more things and most likely talked to Makoto more times in the process

Sini: Shuichi unintentionally made it worse for both of them

Hina: Does he actually even like Makoto then?

Me: yeah, he ends up liking him more instead of getting over & it's Shuichi's fault, (or you could say he just has rejection sensitive dysphoria and that's why he gets so crushed) or maybe he's overdoing the dramatics so Shuichi comforts him because he's in too deep he was dragging Shuichi along to all those over the top plans for none of them to work out, he has to seem appropriately upset for the level of effort, even if it was just a little crush, he deserves a hug anyway, lets himself have it he has a back list of things to cry about, great opportunity to catch up

Clown: YESS At some point comes the question. Were his feelings even that serious?? Or did he just get fixated on the planning part? Either way it doesn't feel good to have it all in shambles.

Ves: makoto just can't stop being viewed as a symbol instead of a person huh he's just kokichi's idea of Boy Who Is Nice To Me

[Kai brought up issues with Kokichi crying over a 3-day crush] Me: I mean, after all those plans it was way more than three days, and it is likely he would be exaggerating, not even just in the last option I gave, I just agree that he does play up his negative feelings to distance himself from them

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #dr thh #makoto naegi #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #oumasai #kyoko kirigiri #byakuya togami #mukuro ikusaba #naegamigiri #naegirigami #naekusaba #made by me #writing prompt #writing inspiration

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night-dark-woods · 7 months ago

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ok Exordia review time (not spoiler free!) since i finished it a few days ago. this is long and rambling and unedited.

4/5 i love Seth's writing and im glad they got to play with scifi again BUT i think they needed a better editor OR to split it more cleanly into sections- in one of the interviews they said it was originally a series of novellas each from a single POV, and i think the constraint of that would have made it a much tighter story.

one of the best things about their Destiny lore is how much they do with so little- thinking of this section from the Beyond Light CE:

Disaster at the worksite. Clearly we will not be moving Clarity Control like we did the K1 artifact. It reacted violently to the attempt. I have entered 19 casualties into the log, since 19 engineers from the Hannu team were caught in its reaction...though there were many more than 19 bodies when it was finished. I have sequestered the recordings. Especially the sensorium telemetry. Quite upsetting. Yet I do not believe it was an act of hostility. Even this outburst carried themes of duplication...as if Clarity Control wanted to show it could help me.

which i was originally thinking of as a first run at Blackbird, but i think these may have been simultaneous? i'm not actually sure. i know Exordia was started after the first Baru book was published, but i'm not sure how much lead time there is for the CEs.

or the clarity of Unveiling compared to a lot of what felt like similar ideas that took much longer to get thru in Exordia. primes. pink noise. math. alright lets fucking gooo oh wait. five more pages of ethics first. okay sure i'll do that for ya Seth bc i love your prose. which also. a) conway game of life mentioned!!! b) this part from Exordia made me LOSE MY MIND:

But that was impossible. The whole universe came from the same source: the same designers. I was part of one of them. If I could only remember... We were arguing, I think. Or maybe we were the argument, because gods cannot do things, they can only be them. We were in contest over the morality of infinities: the cardinality of all possible souls measured against the mere infinity of souls to ever be born...

(this is the part from Unveiling, for the optimistically two people who will read this who haven't read Destiny lore):

Once upon a time,* a gardener and a winnower lived** together in a garden.*** * It was once before a time, because time had not yet begun. ** We did not live. We existed as principles of ontological dynamics that emerged from mathematical structures, as bodiless and inevitable as the primes. *** It was the field of possibility that prefigured existence. They existed, because they had to exist. They had no antecedent and no constituents, and there is no instrument of causality by which they could be portioned into components and assigned to some schematic of their origin. If you followed the umbilical of history in search of some ultimate atavistic embryo that became them, you would end your journey marooned here in this garden.

at the same time, idk what i would remove- at very few points was i reading something that dragged, with the exception of spending a LOT of time with Erik and Clayton in the middle (this is when i put the book down for a month and a half or so). and i know so many people were like sickos.jpg about them However their dynamic did sooo little for me and i don't think Rosamaria was given enough time on the page (and i think having her Be the ship was weird- i recognize that Blackbird needs to have a voice to make the plot go, but i don't think this was the best or neatest way to do it, and collapsed a lot of what i found fundamentally so interesting about Blackbird into something akin to a standard scifi Ship AI).

again i think the restriction of each section of the story being from a single POV might have been the restriction needed to end up with a tighter story- at no point were the multiple plot threads & POVs confusing, per say, but i'm not sure what the structure did for the story bc we could switch to whoever could tell us the most about what was happening whenever convenient, instead of having to piece things together from a limited POV. i'm thinking again of the BLCE, this time the part where Clovis is talking about Maya Sundaresh behaving erratically- i'm no Ishtar group expert but i believe we are supposed to put together that these are all different iterations of her from within the garden). oh- i also wonder if Aixue and Chaya are another run at Maya and Chioma to some degree...

anyway. i also think i am also less the target audience for this book because seth loooves their trolley problems and i simply do not have the patience for it! i loved the hard scifi and the first contact aspects and the character work (Seth's character work is, as always, spectacular. their characters always feel deeply real and flawed in very human ways, while still being exaggerated in the ways characters have to be to function as plot fulcrums), but this isnt something like Baru where i can be like yes you should read this to everyone i talk to.

I think the language in the book is DELIGHTFUL, as always, especially how Seth plays with the idea of an alien translator that sometimes can get an English equivalent to something and sometimes can't! i think that's very fun. because it's on my mind bc ive been listening to the Shelved by Genre episodes on it, it makes me think of Book of the New Sun, and how the "translator" figure of G.W. talks about picking words that are close but they aren't being used like we would use them now- e.g. "metal" in BotNS isnt the same thing we think of as metal! its used more broadly! but its close enough in purpose and point to work just fine. the destriers have horns. i need to know if Seth has read these books.

but back to Exordia. here are some specific prose parts i fucking loved.

this part of the full-page loving, detailed, and technical description of 40 alien nukes detonating in atmosphere:

In the band of thickening atmosphere twenty-five to thirty-five kilometers above the Earth, these gamma rays slam into atoms of oxygen and nitrogen, stripping their orbiting electrons. The orphaned electrons hurtle away at 90 percent of lightspeed. They want to go in a straight line, but hold on now, it's not so easy to leave home. Earth's magnetic field bends their course. They begin to spiral down. When an electron moving near lightspeed has to turn, it emits synchrotron radiation. Poison light. And beneath each bomb there are 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 electrons swerving at once. The result is a blast of electromagnetic noise. No: not noise. A coherent pulse, spiking and faling in harmony. Shiva's own beat drop on electrical civilization. An EMP.

This part. i love Anna and wish we got more of her.

He gives her back her Glock. She accepts it with resignation. "You'd better get your men ready," she says. "It's going to be bad." "Women too," he says, trying for lightness. "The pilot's a woman. We've got a female forward surgeon, a psyops lead, a linguist- she's pretty badass, ran with SEALs in Afghanistan. And Lt. Gainer, she might have some advice for-" "For what?" Anna says calmly. "Advice for what, Erik? How to get killed in a feminine way?"

Seth has such a good and specific way of writing metaphors. a little bit Douglas Adams:

The upshot is: the air around the engine exhaust beam explodes outward with a sound like a tuning fork hit by a Space Shuttle launch. Lung-jellying power. Anything in the beam path suffers the short, severe influence of a needle faster and hotter than a vajra thunderbolt. Anything around the beam eats fireball.

& this part. again. i wish more of the book was Anna and Ssrin's fucked up kismessitude. or whatever.

She slides the barrel of the weapon into the uppermost crater on Ssrin's spine. Slick pain makes Ssrin hiss in psuvoluntary fury: psuvoluntary because it is reflex subject to veto- she could quash it, but the feeling is deliciously wrong, and it is so good to bare her fangs and to unleash that ancient khai instinct of pain-as-motivation. "Questionsss," Ssrin gasps. "I want to know how this story ends." Oh serendura. You'll wish you hadn't asked. You'll wish you'd gone in with your eyes shut and your tongue in your throat so you couldn't smell the poison til it was too late.

which also!!! that's something i love about the Ssrin POV like. Seth is always good at writing aliens and slipping in details that tell us about them. "tongue in your throat" to not smell the poison bc she is a snake alien and smells with her tongue!!! that rules!!!

#bookposting #exordia #this is sooo long sorry #before i reread this i am going to reread blindsight. bc i think a lot of it in in here.#also i cant believe i hadnt even finished exordia when i was writing the gunplay fic. that passage was sitting there waiting for me.#anyway.

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chvoswxtch · 2 years ago

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Miss ma’am could I have an old fashion with Mr. Castle?👀

Creators choice, go wild my love <3

my fiesty little phoenix,

you can have whatever you'd like. thank you for letting me run wild with this one. I hope you enjoy. <3

headcannon below the cut

frank castle finally takes a goddamn day off

i personally think it's criminal we never got a single scene of what frank likes to do in his free time, so i'm taking it upon myself to make y'all feed into my delusions of what that would look like, because the man deserves a day of fucking peace, so let's give it to him

frank is an early riser. after years in the military, his body is just trained to wake up at a certain time, and no matter how much he wants to sleep in, he just can't

i'd like to think frank sleepily pads through his place, makes himself a strong brew of coffee, and goes outside to watch the sunrise. i think he would enjoy the peace, when it's early in the morning and everything is super still and quiet, and he just gets to exist for a little while, slowly let his body and mind wake up as he takes in the tranquil colors of the sunrise

maybe he'd make himself a nice lil breakfast. he strikes me as a bacon guy, so whatever he makes, just know there's bacon. he likes the applewood smoked thick cuts. don't ask me to explain, i can't. it's just something my soul knows

we saw that frank likes to read, so maybe he spends some of the morning working through a new book. he strikes me as someone that secretly loves murder mysteries, and mysteries in general. i'd like to think he gets really into them and really excited when he figures out the mystery before he reaches the end

"fuckin' knew it was the goddamn maid!"

frank also strikes me as a handyman, and i'd like to think he enjoys little projects. maybe he spends part of the afternoon giving his truck a tune up while listening to classic rock in the garage with a few beers (he's a classic rock guy, don't @ me. y'all saw how excited he got about those bruce springsteen tickets) maybe he's finally putting together some new furniture he got, or even building some new furniture bc he can fucking do anything. maybe he's repainting the spare bedroom bc the white walls were boring and frank's secret guilty pleasures are cooking and home makeover shows

in a perfect world, frank has a dog (it's definitely a sweet, beautiful pitbull) so maybe they go on a little walk together on a nice trail or maybe they go to the doggy park so they can play and when they come back they take a lil nap on the couch together bc it's fucking cute and they're sleepy so why the hell not

i'd also like to think that when the evening rolls around, frank goes to socialize bc the thought of him being lonely breaks my heart in ways i can't explain

maybe he goes over to the lieberman's for dinner and helps sarah cook, teaches david how to fix the sink that's broken in their guest bathroom, plays catch with zach out in the backyard, helps leo with a book report she's writing, and passes out with the kids on the couch twenty minutes into a movie they picked out

or maybe he goes out with curtis to a bar to have a few drinks, gets talked into (and drunk enough) to bust some moves out on the dance floor, giggles with curtis as they drunkenly stumble together to the closest twenty-four hour pizza joint, and ends up having a sleepover with him bc his apartment is closer and the pizza and booze made him sleepy

bonus points if curt doesn't make him take the couch and they just share his bed bc they're drunk and also brothers who cares (you're telling me all that time in the military together and there wasn't a "there's only one bed" situation? sorry, I can't suspend reality that much)

extra bonus points if he goes out with matt, karen, and foggy to josie's and is the only one that can keep up with matt in pool

"can't believe y'all let this bastard cheat you like this. this how you treat your friends, red? hustlin' 'em for free drinks? you're the worst goddamn catholic I ever met."

extra extra bonus points if foggy challenges him to a shot contest but then gets so drunk that frank has to carry him home over his shoulder and karen gets several pictures and videos and matt can't stop cackling

extra extra extra bonus points if he's having to carry matt AND foggy home drunk over his shoulder (bc he could) and karen is still being the absolute mvp getting so many pictures and videos while giggling

i just want this man to have a good fucking day that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk

#frank castle #frank castle request #frank castle headcanon #court's 2k follower celebration #court's 2k friends celebration #matt murdock #karen page #foggy nelson #curtis hoyle #david lieberman #the punisher #daredevil

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pepperonijem · 2 years ago

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iv. a truth universally acknowledged || all my love

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” – Pride and Prejudice; Jane Austen

Summary: two idiots walk into the lego section at target... Pairing: high school!bucky x f!reader Warnings: cursing and food mentions Word Count: 3.6k A/N: can u imagine seb stan as mr. darcy bc now i can and i can't stop. happy easter to those who celebrate!

previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

“I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”

Bucky set his book down to take a sip of his coffee. The chime of the door opening was followed by the sound of wind howling and Bucky tightened his grip on the warm mug in his hands. He let out a contented sigh as the taste of coffee filled his tired mind and relaxed his thoughts.

The end of the football season and the hues of oranges and reds painting the tree tops meant autumn had finally arrived. This was the time of year Bucky looked forward to the most, when his Saturday mornings were no longer reserved for football practice, but rather for spending time alone in local cafes after his morning run.

Most Saturdays he would spend hours working on homework, two danishes on a plate (one was free for being a regular) and a half-empty mug of black coffee (with two pumps of brown sugar syrup, a secret between him and the barista). However, on some Saturdays, like today, he could spend time rereading one of his favorite books, Pride and Prejudice. By now, his copy of the book was well-worn. After reading it for his literature class his freshman year, he had fallen in love with the book and reread it often. Most of the books in his collection were in the same condition, the margins covered in tiny and messy scrawled notes, and various colored sticky notes sticking out of the pages of the books. “Well-loved,” he liked to call them.

Much like his coffee order, his inclination towards classic romance novels was indeed a secret. Even Bucky himself wasn’t completely sure why he felt so attached to these stories. Was it because he related to Elizabeth’s character? Or maybe to Mr. Darcy? Or maybe it was the way Jane Austen’s humor seemed to jump off the page. Whatever the reason was, it was probably written somewhere among the margins and sticky notes that littered his book. But until he could figure it out himself, he refused to let anyone else know.

“Hey Bucky,” a cheery voice called. At the sound of his name, he looked up from his book to see Wanda smiling and waving at him with an iced coffee and a box full of pastries in her hands. He smiled and greeted her in response as he put his book down, making sure to slip his bookmark into his spot.

“Are you gonna eat all those croissants yourself?” Bucky joked, pointing at the box in Wanda’s hands.

Wanda let out a chuckle before replying, “I wish, but this is for the party tonight. What are you bringing?” Wanda laughed again at the blank look on her friend’s face. “Did you forget Tony asked us all to bring something?”

Bucky pushed his glasses up and tried to remember when Tony brought it up. It was a few weeks ago, the night of the last football game… the night he had to spend taking care of you after you sprained your ankle. To be honest, he thought the call he got from Tony that night was a part of a dream he had.

He remembered arguing with you about whether or not professor Snape deserved a redemption arc and why he was so much better in the books, and that was about the last thing before the sound of his phone cut through the silence. The bright light of his phone illuminated the room and Bucky had to squint his eyes to read Tony’s name under the time – 2:38 a.m.

“Bucky!” His voice came through the phone as an ear-splitting scream and Bucky pulled his phone away from his ear, only to hear a quieter grumble on the couch next to him. He looked over to see you sprawled out on the couch, your arm and leg hung over the side and he scoffed a little bit at how peaceful you looked despite what might have been a very uncomfortable sleeping position. He grabbed a pillow that had fallen off the couch and gently placed your leg on top of it, concerned about how your ankle would feel in the morning.

”So are you coming?” Bucky briefly snapped his attention back to his friend on the phone.

“Uh sure,” he replied, not totally sure what he agreed to, more occupied with finding a blanket to cover you up. He found one on the other couch and delicately placed it over you, making sure to even cover your feet. Over the phone he could faintly hear Bucky going on about the crazy pancake abomination that Peter and Scott were making. “Okay,” Bucky cut him off, clearing his throat to hide the sleepy rasp in his voice. “I’m uh, studying so I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.” Before Tony could protest, Bucky had already hit the end button.

The last thing Bucky remembers from that night was leaving a glass of water on the side table next to you before heading to his own room and flopping down on his bed.

“It’s fine if you forgot,” Wanda’s voice brought Bucky back to the conversation. “I can just say it’s from all three of us.” The smile on her face was so genuine that Bucky almost felt guilty for still being confused.

“Three… of us?” He asked, unsure of who the third person was. “Us and Steve?”

Wanda laughed again. “Buddy, you really don’t remember anything from that night at all huh?”

Bucky let out a sigh of defeat and invited Wanda to sit down across from him and once she sat down offered her the extra danish. “Honestly,” he began, unsure of how much detail to offer. “I was up pretty late taking care of your friend that night, and when Tony called me I was half asleep.”

Wanda gave a nod of understanding before a mischievous smile made its way onto her features. “So I’m guessing you also don’t remember that he invited your roomie as well?” The color drained from Bucky’s features, causing Wanda to let out a pitied chuckle. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“She’s coming too?” Bucky stumbled over his sentence, annoyed at his own lack of composure.

“Yes sir,” Wanda mimed a salute at him. “I was on my way to pick her up…” she trailed off for a second, looking around and then down at her bare wrist as if she had a watch on. “But uh, I forgot I have to go get Steve actually, so if you could take her that would be great.”

Before Bucky could protest, Wanda was headed towards the door, stuffing the rest of the danish in her mouth and uttering a “Thanks Buck-o!” as she pushed the door open with her hip.

Dumbfounded and alone, Bucky shook his head and looked back down at his coffee in front of him. For a second, he thought about going straight home to get ready for the party, but he changed his mind – opting instead to open his book back up to read a little bit more. He let out a sigh at the sight of the pink envelope that stuck out between the pages. He continued to read for what felt like hours, but upon looking down at his watch, he saw that it had only been one and headed to the counter to order another pastry and a cup of tea before he left the warmth of the cafe.

The red and orange leaves falling down in the cool autumn breeze was enough to make Bucky want to spend a quiet day out in the park rather than surrounded by his often obnoxious and loud friend group. As he walked home however, he couldn’t help but feel… well, bored. He was walking the same route he always walks, through the main street so he could appreciate the halloween decorations that were beginning to pop up in the small storefront windows, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing this year.

Instead of thinking too hard about it, he clasped his hand around the warm to-go cup of tea even tighter and walked the rest of the way home.

Before he even unlocked the door, Bucky could hear the faint sounds of… his dad singing Celine Dion? He let out a chuckle and opened the door, kicking his shoes off before walking into the kitchen for a glass of water. He didn’t bother turning on the lights, the kitchen was illuminated enough by the colorful lights emanating from the living room television. As he headed towards the concert that was happening live from his living room, he laughed at the sight of you being his dad’s number one hype man, amused that you hadn’t noticed him yet.

At the end of the song, he finally made himself known when he clapped, letting out an enthusiastic “Encore! Encore!” to which you finally turned around and gave him a wave. He walked over to the other side of the couch that you were sitting on, handing you the pastry bag and the still warm cup of tea from the cafe. “They had a special autumn blend of tea,” he explained as he watched you take a sip. “I thought you might wanna try it.”

You let out an appreciative hum. “It’s pretty good,” you affirmed, and Bucky nodded in response. “Sorry we started Karaoke Saturday without you, your dad was really excited about singing Celine Dion today.”

“Yeah,” Bucky’s dad chimed in, wiping at his head. “Steve and Wanda came by while you were out to let me know it’s Scott’s birthday and that both of you would be attending.”

Bucky raised his eyebrow at his father’s comment. “Oh they stopped by?” He remembered his conversation with Wanda earlier, and he realized what was going on. “Why didn’t you go with them? Aren’t they also going to the party?”

He wanted to laugh at the way your eyes widened just the slightest bit as you refused to make eye contact with him. “Uh,” you began. “I wasn’t ready to go yet, and they had to go pick up the specially made cake Scott requested.” Although the reasoning itself made enough sense, Bucky still couldn’t help but smirk at the hint of panic in your voice.

“Oh?” he replied. “That’s perfect, you can come with me instead.” The shade of red your cheeks turned was indication enough that he had you flustered. Bucky continued as you coughed in shock at the comment. “Since you and Scott are besties now you can help me find a gift.”

“Did you just say besties?” you scoffed at his comment. “I wouldn’t say besties per se…”

“So does he not invite you over every week to try different boba places with him? You guys haven’t watched every piece of content that has a minion in it together?” he questioned. It was true that you had become quite close with not only Scott, but most of the other people in Bucky’s friend group. At first, most of the gang were coming over to bring you food and to check on you after your injury, but at this point you were pretty much just in the group. All of them were dying to hang out with you. Bucky didn’t really understand why everyone wanted to be around you so badly, and honestly, it did annoy him. He wasn’t completely sure why this would bother him at all, but the more he thought about it –

“Keeping tabs, Bucky? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound jealous.” Your words snapped him out of his thoughts and now it was his turn to scoff and look away, now pretending to be busy on his phone as he rolled his eyes at you.

Of course, Bucky didn’t miss the not-so-subtle thumbs up his father gave you from the side of his vision. He could see it, but was he going to acknowledge it? Of course not. He wasn’t oblivious to the way his dad seemed to encourage your crush on him, but it didn’t really bother him at all actually. So instead he cleared his throat and announced that the two of you would be heading out after he put his stuff away and got changed.

“Have fun you two,” his dad replied. “Stay out as late as you want, I’m going out with my book club.”

Before Bucky could even question his father, he had already left the room, leaving you and Bucky in the disco-lit living room with a Mariah Carey song playing in the background.

“When did he join a book club?” you asked Bucky, who shrugged his shoulders in response.

“Beats me.” He replied, checking his watch. “Can you start the car? I’ll be down in a second.” Bucky opened his backpack and tossed you his car keys as you nodded and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, throwing his backpack onto his bed and running back out to the car. The two of you still had to stop somewhere to get Scott a gift and Bucky was not the type of person to be anything short of punctual.

As Bucky entered Target, he had a mission in mind – to get a Lego set like Scott mentioned to you, grab a card, sign both of your names on it, and get the hell to the party. If everything went according to plan the two of you could be in and out in less than ten minutes.

However, as Bucky had come to see in the last few weeks, nothing with you ever went according to plan.

Fifteen minutes after entering the store, the two of you were still arguing in semi-hushed tones in the middle of the Lego aisle, each of you holding a different build set in your hands.

“Just pick one,” he sighed, watching you pick up yet another set in consideration. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the inefficiency he was seeing. “We’re already late.”

You shook your head at him as you furrowed your eyebrows. “I don’t care,” you replied. “I need to make sure Scott’s gift is perfect.”

“Why? It’s a Lego set,” Bucky said. “You literally can’t go wrong.” He leaned against the aisle, still watching you look at the picture on every single box, as well as the number of pieces.

“No, you don’t get it,” you sighed, looking up to face him. “It has to be the right Lego set. If it has too many pieces, or it’s something he doesn’t care about, he won’t want to even open it.” You explained this as you showed him examples of which boxes you were not going to get – boxes with excessive piece counts as well as a Van Gogh set.

“But if we get him the perfect one,” you explained as you reached your hand to the back of the shelf and grinning as you showed the box to Bucky. “He’ll be excited to open it, and he’ll think of us every single time he sees it. That’s how you pick the perfect gift.” You handed Bucky the box with a Lego version of Spongebob’s pineapple house on the front.

Bucky took it with a sigh, placing it in the basket that was also filled with a gift bag, an assortment of candy bars and a cheesy gift card with a silly pun on it. “Why do you care so much?” He confessed, sounding a little more on edge than he meant to let on. “You barely even know him.”

To be honest, the same annoyance that he felt earlier was bubbling back up to the surface. But before it got any further, you snapped back at him. “Why don’t you care enough?” Bucky was so caught off guard that he had nothing to say back to you.

Needless to say, the drive to the party was silent.

“Welcome! You guys are nearly an hour late,” Scott chastised them as soon as he opened the door.

“Sorry,” Bucky heard you apologize to him as you handed the gift bag of Lego and candy to Scott. “Somebody had a stick up his ass so it took us a little longer to get around.” Bucky scoffed at the pointed look you gave him over your shoulder as you walked past Scott and into the party.

However, before he could follow you in, Scott raised his hand up to stop him. “What did you do to piss off my best friend?” He asked Bucky with his arms crossed.

“Nothing,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “Best friend?”

“Duh,” Scott smirked. “How could I not be best friends with the only other hottie in this friend group.” Laughing at his own remark, Scott finally let Bucky through the door. He put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder as he walked him through the house and into the kitchen and Bucky found himself fighting the urge to brush his hand away. Something about Scott’s comment left an ugly feeling in his chest. Luckily, before he could let out the snappy remark building in his mind, Natasha waved at Bucky through the window and called him over to join their group at the patio outside. Scott handed Bucky a soda and sent him out to join them.

“Bucky,” Natasha called with a smile as he approached. “Help us settle a debate.”

“Sure,” He agreed. “What’s the debate?”

Rhodey let out an aggravated sigh as he began to explain. “Sam and Tony are trying to tell us that you can’t drink soup.” Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at the way his eyebrows scrunched together as he explained why you definitely can drink soup.

“Why are you guys even discussing this?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Sam and Rhodey’s friends were arguing about it over brunch today,” Natasha began to explain.

“Yeah, this girl from our physics class tried to tell us that you don’t drink soup, you eat it,” Rhodey continued. “Which doesn’t make any sense. Soup is a liquid. So you drink it. And it didn’t help that Natasha was too busy chatting with the girl from the tennis team about some celebrity drama to defend my honor.”

Natasha raised her hands in defense. “It was her birthday, you should’ve just let her have that one,” she chided her friend who continued to animatedly defend his position to an equally animated Rhodey. She turned to Bucky instead to speak to him in hushed tones. “We were actually talking about your drama, not some celebrity.” Bucky raised his eyebrows at Natasha who was grinning but looking away. “My friend said she saw you reading at the cafe this morning.”

“And?” Bucky questioned. “I always read at the cafe.”

Natasha finally turned to face him. “She thought your bookmark looked a little familiar.” Bucky could not hide the shade of red that crept onto his cheeks as he quickly turned his gaze away from Natasha and found himself looking in your direction instead.

“When she told me about it,” Natasha continued, smirking as he followed his friend’s gaze. “It did seem a bit odd to use someone’s confession letter as a bookmark.”

Instead of staying to try to deny Natasha’s insinuations, Bucky quickly walked away instead and headed back into the kitchen to take a break from what started to feel like a very stuffy party. Was he the only one who felt like the walls were starting to get smaller?

As he stood back inside the kitchen, he took a deep breath and leaned his arms against the sink. He looked back up to the window facing the backyard, where all of his friends stood, having a good time. Naturally, his eyes landed on you, laughing and resting your head against Steve’s shoulder and that icky feeling that had been slowly climbing up in his chest like ivy growing on a stone wall had finally taken over every last inch.

His grip on the edge of the sink tightened, and so did his resolve. He chugged the rest of his soda and gathered the courage to go back out to where everyone was, to where you were. He opened the door, and took two steps out before he stopped in his tracks like a deer caught in the headlights. Were you crying? You were laughing just minutes ago.

“Bucky,” Rhodey called quietly from beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Let’s talk over here.” He led Bucky away from the spot he was glued to and instead back towards his friends. Whatever debate they had earlier seemed to fall to the backburner as soon as Bucky walked toward them.

“Is she okay?” were the first words to leave Bucky’s mouth and Sam turned to look at him in surprise.

“Your friend?” He asked and Bucky winced at the label but nodded anyway. “She’s uh… she’s fine.” Rhodey looked to Natasha for support, who let out a sigh and looked over to where you were standing.

“No,” Natasha confessed. “I don’t think so.” On instinct, Bucky turned around ready to bolt over to your direction. He had no idea what he would even say to you, but every neuron in his brain was just telling him to run. But before he could move, Natasha’s hand was on his wrist.

“I wouldn’t head over there,” Natasha suggested, giving Bucky a sad smile. “Your name came up just before you came outside.”

The stone walls in his chest suddenly crumbled under the weight of the ivy growing, and he wondered if his walls were really that strong to begin with. Did I make her cry? he thought to himself. He looked over to you, your head once again resting against Steve’s shoulder as he rubbed circles on your back, rising and falling in time with your quiet sobs.

Bucky no longer felt angry or frustrated, but he did feel confused at the way his heart sank at the sight. He looked down at his own feet before he let out a quiet “Oh.” at Natasha’s comment. He only looked back up once again when he heard her call his attention, leading him just out of earshot of the group.

“Do you…” She began to ask tentatively. “Like her?”

#Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #Bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan headcanon #sebastian stan x reader #James Buchanan Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut

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