#bc i could stay up later and it'd be fine

[victim9d]

hm.

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So this guy posted about how his wife "baby trapped" him, with baby trapped in quotes because he didn't know if it necessarily counted. He said she didn't do it to make him stay, just against his will

They've been together for 8 years, have 2 (5f and 2m) kids and when they talked about having kids, she wanted 2 but he wanted 1. They ended up having 2 because she insisted it was important for a child to have a sibling. After his son was born, OP didn't want to go through all the sleepiness nights and everything again. But when their son was a year old, his wife started mentioning having a 3rd child. I would laugh it off but finally she sat me down and said we have to have a third. I said no, we agreed on two, but she said she wanted four and three is the compromise. I refused and said I wanted one and we have two. She got angry and called me selfish for taking away her dream of wanting a big family.

Few days later, she apologized and they had sex. She was on birth control, he had a condom, so they did it. Then one day, she showed him the positive pregnancy test. When she saw his less than happy expression, she berated him for not being supportive, that he should be grateful, etc. So he apologized, hugged her and told her he was excited.

When she was asleep, I took the condoms out of the cupboard and ran them under water. Holes.

I nabbed her phone and saw she'd set a password. That was odd. Nevertheless, my wife has a terrible memory so I tried her birthday and it opened. Further up were texts with her best friend of my wife complaining how I wouldn't come around. Her best friend suggested "arrange an accident" with a winky face. My wife agreed and said she was going to come off of birth control. It went on for a little while, ending with my wife saying that yes, we were going to have a 3rd.

So he woke her up after that to question her about it. She started crying. Through tears she screamed I had no right to go through her phone and it's her choice whether or not she wants to take BC, the side-effects are bad and she was sick. She also brought up if I really didn't want a third kid, I should have had a vasectomy. She told me to go sleep on the couch, I laughed out loud and said no, I'm sleeping here, you're leaving. So while wailing she packed a bag and left to her parents. When she called the next day I told her I just need some time to myself. She said that's fine but I need to come around for our child. I told her I wasn't sure if it'd be "our child" and she cried more.

It's been two weeks since then. Governments recommended to stay at home and I knew staying home by myself while also working with two kids would not be ideal and she wanted to see our kids. So we're in the same house, she constantly keeps on stopping me and trying to get me excited for our kid and planning the nursery and names and how happy our kids will be to get a younger sibling. I've been ignoring her entirely.

A lot of the comments were in his favor so I was happy to see that. But there were also plenty of other comments that weren't as supportive, even downplaying the wife's actions.

There were a number of people who were against him divorcing her, questioning him why he wants to ruin his marriage and his family over this. I just can't get over that, how they're acting like he's in the wrong here. Would you want to stay with someone who crossed the line severely? Would you want to stay with someone you couldn't trust?

She ruined the marriage on her own. He's reacting how anyone can expect someone to react in that kind of situation. A lot of people were insisting he try to fix his marriage and stay for the kids so he doesn't break up the family but that is, in this case, the worst advice someone can give. I'm not sure there's any coming back from this. How could you trust someone like that again? How do you know she wouldn't do it again in the long run because she'd want a 4th baby?

Not to mention, it's a horrible thing to put the kids through. They're already, according to him in a comment, wondering why he isn't talking to their mother (sidenote: some people expressed disbelief that the kids would notice at that age. I haven't spent much time with super little kids like a 2 year old but 5 year old's can be surprisingly observant. Or the wife might have said something to them). If he were to stay and things worsen, like them fighting more often, that just hurts the kids. And it's not a good lesson for them when they get older. There are limits to keeping a relationship with someone.

And of course, his own mental health and happiness are important too.

What bothers me is the justifications people are pulling out in defense of his wife. They are severely downplaying her actions by saying she just wanted a baby, people aren't perfect, etc. Somebody even compared the situation to...rearranging a room.

And then you have others blaming him because he hasn't had a vasectomy yet. That isn't the point of this. If the wife hadn't done anything and he was complaining that she got pregnant, then I would find him more at fault. But what the wife has done is considered reproductive coercion, which is a form of intimate partner violence.

Sure there was a bit of a chance of pregnancy occurring, but she crossed the line in order to get what she wanted. She is at fault here for the pregnancy. And she should be held accountable for that. I've found conflicting information about whether she could face legal consequences, but at the very least we shouldn't be trying to make excuses for her or downplay it to make it sound like it's something innocent.

Because it definitely isn't

[furbygoblinxiv]

Ok now to be annoying about a completely different flavor of Zelda: That cartoon from the 80s that has aged so poorly I take psychic damage every time I watch it (which has been multiple times (I have problems)). A few months ago when rewatching and being sick of the Link's personality from the show (his best feature is how funny the "Well excuuuuse me, princess" line is) I was like "I wish the quiet kid from the games/art was here instead" and accidentally thought too hard and made an au/rewrite of the cartoon lmao.

Anyways Zelda cartoon au where cryptid boy Link saves the post apocalyptic Hyrule of loz 1 and chills in the castle with cartoon Zelda to defend the triforce pieces that they have while trying to find the last piece before Ganon can find it, stumbling across the sleeping loz 2 Zelda along the way lol. Hijinks ensue as he teaches Zelda the brawns to back up her girlboss and he gets an adventure buddy because its dangerous to go alone and Zelda with her boomerang and crossbow goes hard. I think a monster of the week style plot works for the earlier Zelda games, but an overarching plot could coexist with that since that is kinda how games work lol.

As per usual here are a bunch of slapdash barely related sketches of my ideas with my expanded thoughts below bc I think it'd be fun to share:

I look at the official art of Link being a quiet determined little dude with a backpack of tools and wish that that was represented more. Like look at him! What a guy! Imagine giving a quiet puzzle solving 14 year old a sword, lethal magical weapons, and a wasteland to explore! I would love a show about that! In terms of other characters, swap out that annoying fairy character, put in a Navi clone, at least Navi didn't have a crush on Link🤮. Ganon can stay the same so long as he was always a demon pig and was never a Gerudo man because unlike Nintendo, I do not want to imply that the only prominent man of color in the series has only one big braincell thats just screaming "EVIL" on loop. But! Keep Zelda the same, I love her so much in the cartoon, she's obnoxious in a slay girlboss way, maximum vibes. By virtue of not having a paper thin plot, most other characters that were fine get fixed by proxy.

I think plot wise? It takes place a few years after the first game. Initially, Link saved the royal family and they started rebuilding that area of Hyrule, and Link traveled around to help people. One day, Ganon's minions start making attacks on the castle to steal the triforce pieces back to revive him fully, and a Zelda who greatly admires Links steps up to defend the place. Eventually, Zelda requests Link return to help defend the castle while they search for the mysterious hidden third triforce piece in order to combine the full thing and wish for peace in Hyrule. Link agrees and the hyjinks begin.

IIRC the og Link backstory was that he was the son of the hyrulean queen and the elf king or smth? In the manga? I didn't want him to be hylian royalty but I wanted to keep that cryptid vibe, hence why I have him related instead to the great fairy and the kokiri. He just leaves the forest/cave one day with literally nothing to go save Hyrule, what a chad. I think it'd be funny if people describe Zelda as feral due to how boisterous and headstrong she is, especially out on the field, but Link is the quiet version of wild that you don't notice at first. She is openly intelligent and snarky in comparison to "says 3 lines a day, bombs first and asks questions later, explore under every rock and bush" forest kid Link.

It would be fun though if "rushes into danger" Zelda resonated more with the triforce of power and "solves dungeon puzzles for funsies" Link with the triforce of wisdom, then they both resonated with the triforce of courage upon finding it. idk tho lol

I also think two different young Zeldas coexisting with each other after one awoke from a cursed slumber would be really funny. Like that's gotta be so awkward, especially if one has the fighter girlboss slay up to 11 and the other just woke up from a coma to her family gone and her kingdom destroyed and just kinda wants to read books and drink tea in peace. Imagine being the same age or older than your great (great?) aunt. Or imagine if the old lady Impa nursemaid to Zelda 1 Zelda was the young Impa nursemaid to the Zelda 2 Zelda. Wild.

If I wasn't incapable of remembering to finish writing wips I'd write that series lol. Alas, this is all I can pull for now.

I'd love to call this propaganda to go watch the show but maybe don't because its yikes. This is moreso propaganda for someone to make a Zelda cartoon show instead of the movie that I sense Nintendo is plotting to make. Also, if you've read this far, I should mention I also will probably be posting art from some of my actual long term Zelda aus beyond just expanding on the cartoon, though I may continue to do that if my train of thought continues on these tracks.

[hertwood]

Please elaborate on ttpd being a sargewood album 👀

hi thank u so much for caring abt the rot in my brain 💖

ok so. mayhaps i am talking out of my ass here, i havent rly fathomed the whole album yet, and there are songs i associate w/ a variety of ships/fic ideas. BUT more songs fic sargewood than any other ship so. allow me to explain.

this is all speculative to taylor swift’s life so its not #confirmed but allegedly this album is abt leaving long term relationship she felt trapped in (joe), and then rebounding in a short term fling (matty). if we look at these songs through the lens of joe=f1 and matty=indycar, therefore kyle, this is how i fathom these songs in a sargewood way.

OBVIOUSLY this does not work for many of the songs, but for the ones it does it is so compelling. also she broke up with matty anyway and he allegedly SUCKS so i’m only rly considering “early relationship” songs here.

Fresh out the slammer is probably the best example: leaving a relationship and immediately knowing where you’re going next. if logan doesn’t have a future in f1, indycar /is/ the place to go, and kyle is his connection. if he gets dropped, you KNOW kyle is one of the first people he’s calling 

Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

NEXT SONG lets talk Florida!!! the original song I claimed as sargewood for obvious reasons!! ofc, its great bc Florida is there home state. But if we can go back to joe and matty for one second (i’m sorry)

In So Long, London, London not only represents the place, but also Joe and their relationship. I did not come up with this, but I saw people on tiktok saying that while joe=london, matty=florida. the entire song is abt being trapped monotony of her old life (london/joe) and escaping to the new exciting florida(matty).

this fits logan just as florida proper—he can always go home and relax to take a break from the stress of f1. BUT if u wanna see it in a sargewood way--they can both escape their stressful racing lives, come back to florida, to EACHOTHER. this song makes me insane abt them fr. I also like to hear “fuck me up, florida” as “fuck me in florida” AND YOU CAN TOO

I need to forget, so take me to Florida I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida What a crash, what a rush, fuck me in Florida

LAST SONG i’m using for this thesis, but i’m not ruling out fathoming more as sargewood through the joe=f1 matty=indy/kyle lens. it’s a long ass album, i’m employed, i can only do so much

BUT LETS TALK FORTNIGHT

this fathoming was key to me liking this song. HOWEVER while the last two can be fathomed as sargewood in general, fortnight fits a specific fic idea i have where i need to explain some lore first.

logirlie historians will know how after the 2020 f3 season, logan was in a sort of a limbo career wise before he got the call from williams and we know where it goes from there. in this time he was testing for indy, thinking his european racing career was basically over.

so the fic idea. kyle & logan have always had a bit of a ~non platonic connection~ but neither has acted on it due to the distance etc etc. but in this short period of time (a fortnight, perhaps 👀), when its looking like logan might be heading to indycar, the dam breaks and they have a short fling that is more serious than either will admit after, when it ends when logan goes back to f3.

The ACTUAL fic would be years later, where logan leaves f1 and goes to indycar in 2025(?). years have passed, and they've stayed friends this whole time so it /should/ be fine, but now that the distance is no longer an issue all those old feelings come bubbling right up to the surface. they could, of course, just communicate and get together easy peasy but that wouldn't be a fun fic would it? of COURSE it'd be messy.

I haven't written anything, it's more of just a nebulous concept rn and idk if it'll ever go anywhere but it is ALL i think abt when listening to fortnight. The florida and car reference in the bridge is just the cherry on top

And for a fortnight there, we were forever (Back in 2020/2021, what we had was real)

Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather (We talk sometimes (2021-2024) like it's normal and nothing happened)

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors (Now (2025) we see each other all the time and pretend it's all platonic)

I love you, it's ruining my life (My career would be so less complicated if you weren't in it)

Move to Florida, buy the car you want But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me

[echonk3]

999 Week 2023 - Akane

hi hello my body wants to die on me but i got this written. from the view of a crash keys employee bc i thought it'd be kinda funny considering we don't really get the employee side of the place explored

The funny thing is, you’ve never met one of your bosses. You’ve met Aoi Kurashiki who warned you that you were getting into some weird and sorta shady shit, but you needed a job, this paid well and you made use of your degree. And turns out it is a pretty decent job. High amount of collaboration with others, but most are good people. Plus the company gives you decent offtime and chips in for the good coffee supplies. Yet you’ve never met Akane Kurashiki

Aoi’s brash, a bit awkward and very much determined when a goal is set. After that interview with him, you sometimes see him around the place, whether it be putting some obviously homemade vases and mugs around to “liven the place up”. You guys may be an… odd company, setting up a death game to apparently keep his sister, the other boss, alive in a convoluted way but again, it’s a decent job and even if the boss may be a bit insane, it’s fine. Though, after the Mars Test Mission, things did seem to change. While a success on all your parts, you were given a much weirder mission that you’ve all been working towards, and so do the new additions to the office. People you recognize from the last few major missions and the newly-collaborated-with SOIS, all with different opinions on the other boss.

Phi from the Mars Mission says she’s manipulative, Junpei from the Nonary Game and the Mars Mission agrees but loves her nonetheless, Carlos from the Mars Missions just laughs and calls her hardworking and dedicated to the people she’s cares about, and Ms. Kashiwabara just says she reminds her a bit of her daughters who you see around sometimes. Heather from the department that makes sure Crash Keys stays largely hidden from the public says that she’s pretty nice, a bit odd and awkward but then again you could probably describe the whole company as that. 

On the monthly company-wide meeting (it isn’t the largest company after all, even if part of the staff are there over screens), at the front, is the lady you’ve only seen photos of wearing casual business attire, standing side-by-side with the boss. Both bosses. 

You and Luz, who’s in your department, share a look. Your department hasn’t really seen her outside of a few. So this out of nowhere? On the company meeting that happens every month?!

You take a seat. So do the others. You watch as others join. And then everybody’s in and it starts.

“Welcome everyone!” she says with a smile. You know some of the things she had done. You know that smile is likely hiding something. “Sorry if some things are a bit less smooth today, I’m trying my hand at this for the first time.”

She lets out a little laugh that the others reciprocate. Aoi has a small smile watching his sister that continues to stay as she continues with the slideshow she has up, with little fumble actually. It goes oddly well, as if Aoi was the one doing this as usual. She’s serious, her smile gone and a steel in her eyes, especially as the mission about the religious fanatic comes up. Her nails dig into her palm as she starts to describe the plans for the future, and the possibilities if they, if we fail. She talks about your family, your friends, just the innocent people you meet on the street and how they’ll die if you don’t reach the goal.

And then she brings in Sigma to talk more about the future and then minutes later it’s Phi. Akane is looking away from them, avoiding their faces until it’s her turn to talk again. And back is the smile and more casual tone, empathetic instead of full of anger and determination.

You’re reminded of what you were told about her. She’s manipulative, nice and something in-between with varying personality accounts.

“And that should be all for today! Thank you for dealing with me!” 

[sickiehugs]

So I saw you did "v3 Boys taking care of a sick reader" but how about you do the reverse; Reader taking care of the v3 boys

Oh my god tysm for the request, this is my first one!! I would love to :)

Skipping Keebo bc he robot

-

V3 Boys Sickfic Headcanons

With sickie!V3 boys and caretaker!Reader

Shuichi Saihara

Poor guy would do everything to hide his illness from you, he really doesn't like people worrying about him.

He canonically skips breakfast a lot, so he honestly wouldn't get very far with the above plan. Either fainting at his desk, or just becoming very obviously weak.

You carry him to bed and turn the lights out. You wheel his desk chair to his bedside and sit down, open up your laptop, and adjust the brightness, making it the only dim light in the room.

He sleeps most of the time, but would try to stay awake for the interrogation analyses you'd put on for him (Speaking from experience: Interrogation analyses are actually really interesting and easy to focus on when you're sick. Consider this a sick tip from a pro).

OH AND HE LIKES ACE ATTORNEY!!!! Snuggle up next to him and play ace attorney,,,, he ships klapollo,,,,

He's really weak and fragile. Out like a light and rarely wakes up to do anything. He's really upset that he can't do any work while he's sick in bed, but you're good at assuring him that he deserves all the rest in the world and he can always catch up later.

Can't stomach a lot of food, he doesn't eat a lot to begin with and the added nausea makes it pretty much impossible to keep stuff down.

He hugs pillows,, he gives them hugs,, hug me instead pls

Very apologetic and says he's sorry every time he needs something from you. You'd eventually convince him that he's worth everything and you're happy to help him get better.

Delirious Shuichi would be either a nervous, hallucinating mess, or the only time in history where his anxiety would go poof and he could just stare blankly at the wall and smile like an idiot. Or both.

Kaito Momota

(Assume he doesn't have his canon illness here.)

At first you don't even notice a thing, he's the same loud and confident guy he always is. Well, it seems that way, at least.

Tiny little things start adding up to something bigger; his cheeks are pink, his voice is a little scratchy, his hand is warmer when you hold it...

Everything goes downhill when Kaito's voice crAcks and he finds himself unable to speak, therefore unable to convince you that he's fine (he ain't lol). One big coughing fit later, he's in his bed with the lights out, his arms crossed tight and his face flashing an angry, defeated pout.

He's all like "I'm the Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! Some pesky illness is no match f- *COUGH* *HACK* *COUGH COUGH* *gasp* *COUGH*" bro needs a hug

Tired ramblings are all about space. They'd actually be pretty interesting if they were coherent. He won't stop talking even with the hoarseness of his voice.

He keeps trying to get out of bed to get stuff instead of asking you but he either kinda gives up halfway through and crawls back to bed or you catch him and give him a lecture.

He really really wants a hug but doesn't know how to ask D:

Before he falls asleep he just kinda looks at you and holds his arms out, you understand and give him the hug he's wanted all day... he yoinks you into bed with him and falls asleep with his arms around you

Kokichi Ouma

He'd mostly look fine at first but you notice he's a lot more careful physically, like walking a lot slower and protecting his stomach with his hands. If he had known it'd slowly get harder to hide his illness he wouldn't have come out of his room, but of course it's too late now.

He thinks he's doing a good job when... "Kokichi, you ok?"

The professional liar's mind would be too foggy to properly lie. A stupid guilty smile and two full minutes of tired stuttering go by.

Now normally if you tried to grab the small guy he would run away and you'd have to chase him for hours, but he just can't do that today. He's already getting tired despite not doing anything, his vision is slowly fading and his legs are starting to give out. He knows what's good for him deep down and, as much as he hates it, he'll let you scoop him up into your arms.

Once he accepts that he's sick, this man turns into the ultimate drama queen. I feel like he just wants people to care about him, though? And exaggerating his condition might be the only way to achieve that?

It doesn't take long for you to realize it's not as bad as he says it is. But he's still pretty sick, so nothing about how you take care of him really changes. Just ignore him when he claims to be dying.

Do something wrong and he's like "Do you want me to die? So rude, Reader-chan~!" in his messed-up, scratchy and seemingly painful voice.

Oh my god he will not stay in bed. He literally climbs all over you like a child. Sleeps anywhere but where he's supposed to. Hides in his closet. You're really strong for agreeing to take care of this gremlin and making it this far, you know that?

Delirious Kokichi is even more of a menace but he's twice as tired so it doesn't last too long.

So, say he does get worse. Would his playful façade start to slip, or would delirium make it 10x as strong?

Gonta Gokuhara

(Short since I'm not too familiar with Gonta as a person + I haven't played his FTE)

Everything is fine until he suddendy latches an arm around his stomach and doubles over, teeth clenched and eyes shut tight. You rush to his side and ask him what's wrong.

He tells you it wouldn't be gentlemanly to ask for help, you argue that it would be even less gentlemanly to puke on the floor. He lets you walk him to the bathroom.

He slep,, he sleps so cute,, somehow he manages to look small cuz he is curled up in a little blanket burrito and sleping

Korekiyo Shinguji

(Again, short, sorry D:)

I'm getting gothic whump vibes from him

HE is getting gothic whump vibes too

I think he reads whump stuff when he's not studying anthropology

Lights candles instead of the lamp on his nightstand, his sheets are all white, keeps his windows open, yeah the whole deal. Your Kiyo values aesthetic and that is VALID.

Homies I apologize but I don't know shit about Ryoma and Rantaro. Ever since I started this post two weeks ago I've been stuck on them. Feel free to reblog with HCs for them!! Anyways, super duper sorry for the wait, Anon! I really hope it was worth it D:

[deathwolf9000]

i think i misunderstood your message and sent my matchup request to the wrong blog 🧍 so here it is again!

may i get a romantic overwatch matchup please? any gender is fine, but i prefer characters 25+

im 5'3 and nonbinary

I'm very shy and reserved at first but once i open up im very friendly and warm and a huge dork. im creative and i like to make things for people, whether its sewing or crocheting or drawing etc.

im easily flustered by anything flirty. im a good listener and i value communication greatly. i cry easily bc im sensitive and i struggle with emotional dysregulation. im a very caring person and can sometimes overdo it trying to be there for everyone. im also very stubborn, especially when someone either tries to make me do something i don't want to do, or says i can't do something. i have anxiety and often wake up at weird hours of the morning bc of it.

tysm!

Hrmm...in my humble opinion, I match you with:

☆ Reinhardt! ~ ☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.

[ Want one too? See here: (insert link to post ill make later) ]

(Warning: Long 'Keep Reading')

(Warning: Angst)

TLDR: He's anxious and caring too. You build each other up, and he especially nurtures you/ see last paragraph

It could go a number of ways. It was a bit of rummaging to find the right one, but if you like Rein I think it'd work out pretty good!

I can imagine you working in Overwatch when it got big in a teensy assistive position, occasionally bumping into the fabled heroes, usually for professional reasons.

And dear god, it was terrifying. That looming itching feeling of social pressure as you have to talk to them. At a work party Tracer had made an effort to try and talk to you, which kind of worked- you quietly babbled back and forth but the atmosphere with so many strangers was just kind of overwhelming. Cassidy had teased you, both simultaneously putting a blush on your face and a bubbling feeling of frustration. You wanted to prove his smug face wrong.

And you did. You were out of your shell, one way or another, and spiralled down this one-sided? Requited? God, who-knows - situation-ship with Cass that did you more harm than good. It was nice for a while, colourful, passionate, but fickle. The verbal equivalent of scraping at a smooth wall in your effort to help him as he slipped into Blackwatch. His ever-waning attention to your beautifully crafted gifts; his ignorance.

However, during that time you did meet the heroes personally. You caught Reinhardt's attention particularly. You were amazing! He'd look over your shoulder in awe in what you were making for Cassidy, spouting words of encouragement, saying something about how you should teach him so he could crochet for Ana and Fareeha. When someone dared you couldn't take your turn arm wrestling Rein, you did, and won! Crazy strength, right? Just kidding, he let you win. When you complained, you stayed up as everyone trickled out continually trying to beat him. It was very comical sight; opponents crouched over a table, one 2ft bigger than the other. When you were shy, he would offer a hand on your back as you entered the new thing together instead of alone. Reinhardt was always very clear with his emotions, which was quite grounding and you started to unintentionally imitate him a bit. You'd had your bubbly, loud conversations, but when Ana and Cass had left (and during Cass' stupid antics)- they sometimes became more quiet, and solemn. Seeing him awake too at ungodly hours of the night-morning, you had reached out to him in worry despite your state. The two of you had exchanged woes carefully and ending up in streaming tears in both sides, both of anguish and relief, ending in an all-encompassing hug underneath the cloudy night sky of Gibraltar. It was hard not to rely on him, because he wholeheartedly let you.

And that's it. Overwatch was...over? You remember that last day as your co-workers began to pack on to company helicraft to go back home from Gibraltar. Looking at Rein through the crowd, distraught. Ana was missing. You had sincerely guaranteed you would stay in touch until press had died down. With a tugging heartstring you returned home.

Looking at your comms device your stomach churned over Reinhardt's contact, finger hovering over the screen. What if he'd forgotten? Does he still want to speak? Is it saf- your thoughts cut off as the device lit up. A video call from Reinhardt. It was an initial image of a confused old man before he saw you, and his holographic face lit up. He corrected himself, asking of your safety, and if you are free to talk, etcetera. When you dizzily but enthusiastically agreed, he jumped back into over joyous questions, compliments and jokes. In this time apart, you would chat now and again. How Brigitte was; your latest projects; if you couldn't fall asleep or you woke up too early... It was nice during a time of ever-growing political tension.

Eventually, you were invited to visit for the holidays. As soon as you stepped off the hoverbus Reinhardt was there, asking you before scooping you up in a hearty hug and laugh. You'd missed that. As he gushed about his hometown you couldn't help but look over. He was overflowing with joviality- but weathered, more than before. An added sense of maturity and intelligence. You understood. And, it looked quite handsome on him. Not to mention the juxtaposition of his parental looking cardigan against his massive scar-strewn form.

This odd kind of new..adoration began to weasel its way into otherwise familiar interactions from back in Overwatch. Becoming more familiar with his bouts of depression, (Ana's death, all his friends disappearances...) consolations especially became more tender and intimate in the quiet hours of the Lindholm household or out on the green hills. Sometimes you'd wake up at a horribly early time, and going down the stairs you would find Reinhardt carefully cooking. Anxiety wake-ups didn't seem as bad anymore- actually, they became less frequent as you would just exist together into the night, sometimes even cuddle. Sometimes Torbjörn would shout and make you cry, leading to Brig and Rein to scold him and then comfort you, Reinhardt more calmly. You'd go grocery and material shopping (for Brig) together. Reinhardt would ever so subtly wince at loud metallic noises, and you would hold his hand. You'd take over for Brig in tending his wounds when he tried to 'stay in shape'. You weren't trying to be an opportunist, but god his body was pretty too. Maybe you paused a little too long, because in-between a pained grunt he chuckled. This confused you, as minute as it was, but it wasn't long before he began gently dropping more smart-mouthed compliments and half-jokes in a lower tone than normal. One night that you had stayed up late together he had pulled you aside. With the same sincerity and nervousness of when he had initially contacted you post-Overwatch; and the same cloudy night sky, he articulately confessed his growing romantic feelings for you.

If you reciprocate? He is overjoyed to a silent smile, forehead bumping against yours as he offers a calloused hand to rest on your cheek. He eventually looks through to you, a small smug smile as he articulates something cheesy but tender. Boundaries and expectations are shared, and it's pretty easy to trust each other. You have your own business to attend to, but when you do meet, it is loud and beautiful. Boisterous, passionate holidays and days together. He remembers what you taught him, and presents to you a bad crocheted..blanket (?) as big as his hand that he's proudly holding it with. You slam the table harder than him as you're so close to winning a stupid family board game against him. He princess carries you often just-cause. Quiet and meaningful talks as he holds on to your every word.

It's nice.

--------------------------------------------------BTS ↴

[sparklesphobia]

Scrooge x Cornelius (oc) rant

I love thinking about Cornelius's romance with Scrooge and how cute it is. Man fell in love with Scrooge when they were teen/young adults, but put off his feelings out of fear and, for Isabel's sake. But after shit hit the fan and Scrooge was a single man again, he rejected him bc of how much he had changed. So he quite literally went, "fuck you and fuck this I'm outta here!" And left to become a writer.

And he was successful! He became one of the most well-known romance writers London had ever seen! He traveled, learning new languages so he could expand his art. He was a player, dated women and men alike in droves. But as he got older, he wanted to settle down (not bc he was worried about what people would think of him/sar) But out of panic and stupidity he cheated on his fiancé, told her and she quickly called off their engagement. He became a heavy alcoholic but bounced back from that as time passed.

And then! After years, Neil, in his early 60's decides "I'm tired of having no real roots, I'm going to move back to London." So he hops on over after Scrooge's redemption bc he has to do a book signing but also to look at his housing options. Scrooge magically spots him in the shop, pops in to say hi, and Neil is like, "bro tf why are you being so nice?" So he meets up with him later and roasts this man for his past shitty behavior only to not get the reaction he hoped/expected so he decides "fine, I'll give you a chance but if you fuck up I'm out." AND HE DOES!! They meet up for coffee, lunch, dinner, and drinks. He even shows up to his home for the Christmas party, to which he's really warmed up to Scrooge, happy to see him acting like his old self. Scrooge offers him a place to stay bc the housing market is atrocious, and it'd be nice to have a familiar and comforting face to see when he returned home. Cornelius finally gives in and picks one of the guest rooms to officially live in.

Over time Scrooge has been reading some of his books on his down time and starts to notice a pattern and confronts him about it to which Cornelius calmly admits that yes, most of his romance novels are based on his real relationships and he has changed the sexes of some characters so the book would sell. He happily admits his sexuality, claiming he has no shame in who he is, and if Scrooge has a problem, he can suck it. Scrooge is impressed, moved by his bravery and assurance of himself. Time passes as they get closer and closer, that old love sparking is Neil's heart despite his hesitancy. He doesn't feel he is worthy of love, especially by Scrooge, who, in his mind, was a better man than he. But he can't hide from his feelings forever. He watches Scrooge, assessing him and his standing with Neil. He feels like perhaps he shares his affections, and after a night of accidental kisses, he expected Scrooge to confess. But he didn’t so he gave him an ultimatum. Either he admits his feelings or Neil leaves. He won't stand to hide his feedings for the someone he loves while living in their home. Not again. Scrooge is cornered and admits his feelings, leaving Cornelius overjoyed! And so they start dating, the only person who knows being the maid they had hired. They pay her well so she says nothing, especially since it's not her buisness.

Cornelius still travels, just not as often because he misses Scrooge's company and vice-versa. He admits he wishes he were a woman so that they could have a family and that they could be openly affectionate without fear of being arrested or assaulted. But he puts those thoughts out of his mind as best as possible, enjoying every moment he can with Scrooge, locking away memories and affections for safe keeping.

[nights-at-crystarium]

My replies under the cut :3c

Even though I don't really know how Vivi sounds, I feel like I know his voice.

I still have no voice claim for him *weeps* I probably could ask people to share their suggestions, but I'm too terrified of having to say no to those that don't match The Voice In My Head aaaaa. I'm pathetic.

But here's how I'd describe it: british accent because I'm a JB enjoyer, not too deep (for comparison, Raha sounds like a proper MAN next to him), greatly varying in tone/pitch because he's expressive. His neutral tone's soft and pleasant, he'd sing if he wanted. Growls or screams are a super rare spawn, iirc this episode's one of the two where that happens, the other one being episode 11. The speech itself's well-paced, sometimes he puts tiny accents on consonants.

Most of the above hcs are motivated by his social behavior: mirroring people, blending in, flowing like water around obstacles instead of facing them head-on.

I can share this closest-but-not-perfect voice claim, this guy's a bit too extra even for Vivi, but the laughs are 100% Vivi's.

The distance between them feels so sad and cold, especially with how Alisaie asks "Are you hurt?"

I really hoped that her misaligned question would emphasize the disconnect in their current states and views on their life in general, seems like it worked <w<

Did Alisaie walk away at that moment, too? Did she say anything at all? Or maybe she doesn't remember bc in the end it didn't matter bc Vivi knew that the answer was yes? Whether or not she wanted or tried to say it in a way that wasn't cold, it wouldn't matter bc the answer would have been the same ;;

Yeah.... The cold-blooded answer would be "yes this's our life, suck it up", I don't think Vivi even expected anything else, especially from Alisaie. Her keeping quiet was the best she could do. As for if she walked away at that moment too, I just ended the scene where it felt right, and didn't think much about the later honestly. Perhaps they returned home together, but stayed quiet, only exchanging small talk.

And I do mean speaking in the point of view of the characters ofc while I hope that Vivi's story ends in a way where he gets to be happy and loved, I won't know for sure >:'3

It'd be in the eye of the beholder tbh. This wolgraha's definitely more angsty and tragic than average. Not spoiling anything, one can already deduce from my art that the both of them are fine, both ARRRaha and Exarch survive the merge etc, but 5.0-5.3 is Vivi's absolute personal high, and he can never go back to that for canon reasons. Sometime ago I doodled this masterpiece of a chart, maybe it helps putting things in perspective x'D

Not indicative of the comic length, I didn't even try to draw a timeline up to scale. The story's all planned out, all arcs have a lot of meat on the bones, but as I refine it scene per scene, it changes in volume. When I say "the one piece of xiv comics" I ain't fuckin' jokin' o//////o;;;;

I CAN'T SAY I LOVE THEIR SMILES BC THERE ARE NO SMILES THIS EPISODE OTL

I FAILED YOUUUUUUU I'M SO SORRY

I wonder what Alisaie is thinking right now. Is she ashamed that she never reached out? I wonder if Vivi had other outbursts like that or if it only happened once and she forgot about it for a time.

Of course it's not the only tantrum, Vivi had a Fun Time in SB, and Alisaie had the (mis)fortune to babysit him and drag him back to duty whenever he tried to escape. I'll sprinkle in more backstory over time!

Alphinaud looks so confused ;w; it's likely that no one else has really seen that crumbling part of him just yet, but I wonder if they will anytime soon, or if Vivi will be able to hold it together til the end.

Yeah that clueless Alphi face tries to suggest that other Scions might've not seen the same Vivi. Twins be twins, but they aren't equally close to him.

Thank you for such a thoughtful and heartfelt feedback as usual ;3; And if someone else happens to read our exchanges, thank you for caring!!

✧✦✧ "Fragments" - episode 33 ✧✦✧

"If I had more courage back then, would things be different?"

New reader? Start here: @ffxiv-fragments

[daincrediblegg]

since you mentioned dogs, any soft werewolf!bruno thoughts?

WEREWOLF!BRUNO HEADCANONS

a/n: my friend I was about to set down some pup play hc's but had to put it on pause because... werewolf bruno now has me in a chokehold

I mean first??? MAN IMAGINE HOW MUCH WORSE IT WOULD BE FOR HIM IF HE WAS A WEREWOLF I MEAN THE VILLAGE ALREADY OSTRACIZES HIM ANYWAY!!!! Imagine how much worse it'd be???

I mean now not only do his visions suck and bring bad tidings and bad luck... but he's also DANGEROUS to boot. Everyone is legitimately TERRIFIED of the wolf!!! Everyone.

But... but the truth??? Even when he turns he's just a big puppy. He never hurts anyone. Never. He's not allowed to stay in the house when he transforms because he's not trusted even there but man he could and should because he's literally never hurt anyone.

But I mean... his eyes reflect green when he's in wolf form, which naturally scares the piss out of people

And the worst he's done while transformed really is maybe steal some chorizo from the butcher shop bc he got hungry or whatever. He's literally harmless.

Like honestly? Nothing changes about his demeanor in wolf form other than it's painful when it happens and ofc he writhes in pain from it but once he's in wolf form he's fine.

He'd literally spend the entirety of the night transformed up on a couch with you, head in your lap, happy to just receive pets and skritches behind his ears until he transforms back in the morning

Probably looks a bit like Balto when transformed with like maybe a slightly wavier coat. (oh fuck me am I going to try and draw this later??? yes. yes I am.)

DEFINITELY HAS FLEAS BECAUSE ALSO THE RATS STILL HANG OUT WITH HIM WHEN HE'S TRANSFORMED. HE PROTECTS THEM FROM MOUSER CATS IN THE ENCANTO AND THEY LOVE AND TRUST HIM!!!!

Like also that's the only time you might ever see him snarl or bark or take a fighting stance is when he's defending his rats.

LIKE LITERALLY OTHER THAN THAT HE'S JUST THE BIGGEST SWEETEST FLUFFIEST PUPPY YOU'VE EVER SEEN AND EVERYONE HAS IT WRONG ABOUT HIM AND I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[elsecrytt]

ELSEY YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME

Elsey listen it's 2 am i need to sleep but your addition to that Dia post KEEPING ME AWAKE

How does it feel to have such a big brain huh? You're amazing please keep ranting about whatever because i will eat this shit up

Oh, also you dropped this 👑

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank youuuuuu~ It's so sweet that you enjoy my Takes sfgkhhfgd and it's super encouraging to know that you get something out of them, hehe,,, it's always just.

So fun to see ppl who get similar vibes from the characters, sharing their own views and reasons for that,,, it's lovely to hear from you and Erin, and I'm glad y'all like hearing from me, too~

I've had this whole. Theory of Diavolo post floating in my head for ages but I haven't gotten around to it until now bc it requires a lot of. Screenshot editing,,,,

Now Presenting:

Diavolo - Truth and Lies

Spoilers for:

The Escorts (Memory SR, Chapter M, Luci and Satan on it) Devilgram

The Glory Days (Lucifer Chapter A UR) Devilgram

Main story up through Lesson 16

So basically:

Diavolo has the ability to tell lies - this is confirmed in several places in canon.

My personal headcanon/theory is that this isn't Diavolo being a people person (although he probably is, to some extent). This isn't even a special ability Diavolo has, either as a demon, or as a future Demon King.

I think this is a curse. Specifically, I think this is a curse that Diavolo asked a witch to place on him, and the caveat of this curse is that Diavolo cannot tell a lie.

It's totally possible there are instances of this being blown out of the water in canon but Diavolo is usually pretty diplomatic in his denials and avoids telling direct lies so just stay with me for a moment. I HAVE SCREENSHOTS!!

The first question of course is. "Who would have put a curse like this on him, Elsey? He's the Demon Prince. He's ridiculously powerful, what kind of witch could even do that? Even Solomon might not be able to."

We do know a witch who might have done it! A witch who would have been powerful enough, and who has a pretty interesting relationship with Diavolo: Maddi!

Maddi is acknowledged, by Satan, Lucifer, and Diavolo, to be extremely powerful. Literally Lucifer is going "When someone radiates power like she did..." Lucifer!

The really interesting bit is later on - that Maddi refused to return to the human world until Dia married her, and it was really long ago.

It sounds like, in return for casting this curse on Dia, Maddi wanted his hand in marriage. It'd explain both her entitlement, and the reason Diavolo had a hard time turning her down - because she did him a favor!

And also why Diavolo is pimping out Satan and Lucifer not to see her again lmaoooo. This, I daresay, is why Diavolo doesn't like her - it's not necessarily a reasonable request she's making, but she also did something for him that literally no one else could have done.

Plus she's supposedly smoking hot and if she likes Luci and Satan, her taste in men is absolutely fine. Listen Diavolo I'll take one for the team and marry her myself -

Anyways. Second point here - this happened "a really long time ago". This is a point in favor of my theory, because Diavolo has been asserting that he is honest/never lies for a very long time indeed:

This is a MEGA long time ago - before Lucifer fell from heaven, even.

Now ofc Diavolo doesn't outright say it's a curse (and I doubt this theory is something the devs intended), but it does sound like Diavolo is leaning on the "honest" thing pretty heavily, no?

(Bonus points: In his recently-released character songs, one of Diavolo's lines is actually - "I have nothing to hide/I am always honest")

Consider also the fact that if this is true, it goes a good way to explain how Diavolo is getting along with Lucifer so well, and pressing the point of peace even though Lucifer quite clearly looks down on demons as an archangel.

See, Lucifer actually tells a couple of blatant lies during this visit:

If Diavolo has this ability to know for certain when someone is lying, then he knows Lucifer doesn't hate him/the Devildom as much as he said (and Lucifer's dad hung him out to dry on the speech thing lmaooo)

Now, on to what I consider the most damning piece of evidence - we have the actual statement in Lesson 4 during Levi's TSL quiz, that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying

Diavolo was brought in to judge this event, too - almost certainly because he has this ability. "You know as well as I do" - this is something all the brothers, and possibly the demon populace as a whole, know about Diavolo.

Levi later does concede that he lost; he believes Diavolo's ability, and implicitly, believes that Diavolo isn't lying about it. But canonically, this is our confirmation that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying, possibly as some supernatural "ability".

The real proof comes in lesson 16. Belphie, at this point, absolutely despises both humankind - and naturally, the suggestion that Lilith became human - and Diavolo. That's important. He HATES Diavolo and Diavolo's ideas.

If you chose to tell him "I'm sorry you found out this way", he goes on to mope a bit until his brothers encourage him.

But what if you choose to say "You really won't believe it?"

Belphie insists he won't believe it. He could never believe it. And honestly this makes a lot of sense, and feels like the natural reaction he'd have to such an unforeseen revalation.

And then Diavolo says "It's the truth". Diavolo, who Belphie hates. What reason does Belphegor possible have to -

Aaaaaand he believes him. Just like that. Now, I'm gonna be real, I'm not super impressed with how the writers handled this plot twist, especially in light of the aftermath. HOWEVER.

It's still fucking weird that Belphie just accepts Diavolo's word so easily, accepts the entire story and spins right into repentance and blaming himself for Lilith's death...

...unless. Diavolo is magically incapable of lying. Perhaps because he's been cursed?

The brothers all know about Maddi (it's in the escorts mission). They very probably would all know why Diavolo doesn't get along with her, but still has to accommodate her when she visits. It would make sense for Belphie to know about this, actually.

Annnnnyyways that's my favorite pet Diavolo theory that's been rattling around in my head for a while. It's by no means canon or confirmed (canon seems to forget about Diavolo's ability to tell when someone is lying on the regular, anyways), but my god, is it interesting.

Diavolo being a living lie detector and unable to lie makes him an invaluable plot device, a useful tool to a resourceful enough MC, and even as cursed as the theory suggests, if you remember a little oneshot I wrote called "Heartache".

It is just. hnnng. Absolutely delicious. I love the idea so much and wish there were more of it in canon... but hey. That's what fics are for ;)

[twilightprophet]

i need to get some thoughts out of my head (not much space in there)

i'm trying to consider every possible route for kitty misha concerning my upcoming move. lali and laila are def coming in cabin with me and my mom, they're used to being around ppl and can behave themselves & also they're under the weight limit -- misha is not. so i set those 2 aside

from a strategic standpoint, getting her abroad is def a challenge but not impossible. my 1st airline doesn't allow pets in cargo, but i can send her along with PetEmbark or whatever for that part & then pick her up during my (fairly long) first layover. my other airline allows pets in cargo so she could go on the same plane as me the rest of the time; i have a really long 2nd layover so i could pick her up there too and keep her w me for a bit before the final flight. i know plane cargos have to be climate controlled for animals and there won't be ppl down there to spook her, so i've been really hoping that this is an option for us. i will admit it'd be rather expensive

but more than that, she's such a nervous kitty. she got hella nervous when we visited the vet and it took her a v long to calm down. she gets anxious so easily around noises and ppl and commotion. I've thought about whether a Thundershirt would help during the travels, i know some kitties calm down a lot w them, but she's never let me harness her before so idek if i could get a thundershirt on her. it's a big what if on whether this is a solution

i also wonder how well she'd do w rehoming tho. for the past 2 yrs, i've been her only human. whenever ppl are over she hides - even when it's just my mom, who's over often - and she hisses whenever anyone else goes near her. she's harmless, but i also know at this point i'm the only one she trusts. i don't want to force her into a stressful journey, but i worry that rehoming her would be more stressful in the long run bc then she'd be losing me + the other 2 cats. idk how well she's gonna acclimate to a new home and human. and she doesn't deserve that!! she had such a horrible kittenhood in foster care, and now i'm just another human abandoning her! i hate that

atm i wonder if having her stay w my mom for a while would be best. she had to get used to my mom during the vet visit & plus then i could bring her over during a later visit home and she'd be the only one so i could focus on keeping her calm. i don't particularly care for my mom as a cat owner, she lets hers outside, but Misha is a good girl and would prob be fine there. my mom is coming over tomorrow, i'll ask her about her thoughts then

the last option is my friend, who is v nice but hasn't met Misha, so idk if she'd feel comfortable w him yet

i just, idk,, this is all v difficult and upsetting

[worstloki]

yes, you caught me, my most evil villainous plot is to break your heart and steal your reblogs

how comfortable do you think ace loki would be with platonic affection? like forehead kisses, hugs, and cuddling?

Okay so hear me out on this, but between the torture and general touch starvation I’m thinking he’d already be sensitive to any touch not in a combat scenario/as a precursor to pain. But he’s also good at adapting and wouldn’t react violently so as long as no one does something unawares he’d love it, even crave platonic affection, but you’d have to not startle him or wait till he initiates because he could panic.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

My gf at the time forced me to come out to my super strict parents. They aren't homophobic. But they were super surprised learning I came out as lesbian. I was still questioning if i was bi or les. But my gf thought it'd better the relationship. She made me come out on the first night we met in person. I kinda always hated her for forcing me to. Fast forward 5 years later. Im questioning my bi-ness. I tend to find guys more date-able. I never come across a girl that I actually like like.

Okay first of all - your girlfriend was an absolute asshole. Literally I just saw this post and it perfectly reflects my opinion on that. In short: nobody should ever force someone to come out. It is nobody else’s business to decide when you should come out. That is your choice. And if someone doesn’t want to date someone who is closeted then they should just not date someone who is closeted. Forcing that person and emotionally manipulating them into coming out despite it being dangerous or just not the right time for them yet is fucking shitty. She should have either signed up for the whole deal of you being closted or not date you at all. This is a question of respecting boundaries and she totally blew it!

So that’s that on that. I don’t know if she also forced you to specifically come out as lesbian or if you were left to choose that for yourself at least but I’m also kinda not surprised that you are now at a point where you wonder if you are actually bi - obviously back then wasn’t the right moment for you to come out and you were still figuring things out (you say you were still questioning if you were bi or lesbian at the time). Your girlfriend (I assume she’s your ex now?) has rushed you into this situation before you could even find an answer for yourself - or at least come to the conclusion that you might not be sure about the right label but you want to come out as not-straight. So instead you just had to say something whether that was right or not bc your gf pressured you.

Of course, to be fair, it’s also just possible that your sexuality has changed. Maybe you really were a lesbian at the time. That doesn’t mean you cannot be bi now though. Some people’s sexuality is very fluid and as it changes it is okay for you to change your label, too.

If you find yourself attracted to men now as well then welcome to the bi club! You’re welcome to stay for as long as you like. Men are great and beautiful and sexy and I hope you will meet some sweet guys to have fun with or love. And the fact you haven’t been attracted to a girl in a while doesn’t have to mean you are not attracted to women anymore at all. If you are bi then it might really just be that you are going through a guy-phase. Maybe you kinda want to “catch up” and take your time exploring this possible bisexuality. That’s fine. You don’t have to be equally attracted to all genders at all times in order to be bi.

Maddie

[exowl]

hey it's me again :) i've never intended to make you feel unworthy bc it's not the case, you're one of the most chill people i've found here and that's why i thought it'd be fine to talk to you. i was just curious why people treat the idols as a 'boyfriend' or a 'husband', i find it quite interesting. it's normal to dream about your bias but to assume to be in any kind of relation with him is another thing. 1-

or, perhaps, they assume that a possible encounter at a concert or anywhere else will make him fall in love. I think love is not a matter of seconds but a matter of soul and we’re also free to think that maybe he already has some1 in his heart&mind. people usually tend to see ’signals’ in what he does so maybe there are, but not as everyone perceives them or not for who they think. if he would ’fall in love’ at a concert do you think he would leave that person to go without doing something?2-

ugh again me and my ’pleading’ lol you’re in your right to call me the annoying anon, i hope you’re not mad at me for asking, but from everyone i’ve seen being shipped with ksoo & with the same feelings as you describe him, you seem the most easy to talk to and outgoing so i thought it’d be cool to just ask. I apologize in advance if i did something wrong :/ 3-

1) I don’t think you are annoying, everyone is free to think and express what they want, of course respecting others.2)I do think there are limits and boundaries and pretending your idol is yours and no one else’s is something I find wrong. But again, people is free to do as they wish as long as they don’t hurt anyone or something.3) I don’t think anyone feels the same way. I’m not saying my feelings are ehhh harder or more pure or anything no. As similar as our feelings could be, each one of us feel different, each one of us have different concepts of love. And as similar as our feelings (this goes for anyone not just Ksoo stans) are, they are always different. This is why is hard to generalize, because we don’t know their stories, we don’t know the background, the roots, their thoughts. But yes, again, there are limits.4) If he has someone, I don’t think she/he would worry about stans you know? Unless he/she knows Ksoo could actually prefer that person, unless he/she feels that fan is a threat. Dating an idol is probably different than dating a “normal” person. Why? Because they are always in the spotlight, there will always be thousands that will want to be in the position their S/O is, there will always be people that will love him. And you can’t do anything about it but respect it. Again they are free to feel as they wish and just because he/She is in that special place, doesn’t mean it gives them the right to order others to stop feeling. If someone is getting in a relationship with an idol I think it’s important to know where they are standing, what they are getting themselves into and respect their idol boyfriend/girlfriend career. If you can’t live with this then what the fuck are you doing there, then That’s not love, that’s even more selfish than the fans thinking their idol is their boyfriend. Because you (not you, in general) are getting in the way of their dream. You can’t ask someone just to give up on their dream because you don’t like people daydreaming about your boyfriend. 5) again, we might have different concepts of love. People tend to not believe in love at first sight because.. hell, it happens once in a life time. But I have lived it (not with Ksoo if you are  wondering) and even if I did not know the guy I loved him. I got to know him later and that love got stronger. but that’s another story and what I felt for that guy was probably very different from what I feel for Ksoo. So.. love can happen in many different ways and also in the most strange ways. We simply don’t see it coming, even if you’ve been by that person’s side your whole life. It just comes one day, catches us off guard. So I do think that if Ksoo or any idol fall for some girl/boy in a concert (which is highly unlikely because honestly you see nothing from stage) or a fanmeeting or the streets, they would do something or they would live with that person’s memory. Because being in the spotlight is hard and going after a person with such pure intentions is probably even harder than it is for us mortals that aren’t famous.6) You didn’t make me feel unworthy. I do that on my own. I’ve always have, since the moment I realized I loved him. Probably even before that. Why? Because I know where I am standing. I know that I’m just a girl out of millions that feel something for him, I know he’s an idol surrounded by so many girls and boys, I know that for him to fall in love with me would require a miracle or something. Or maybe not a miracle but what we call fate, or a soul link, or whatever who knows. I do not think I have more opportunity than his other fans, I do not think he’s mine, I do not think he would even look at me. But again, I’m allowed to dream. And what I feel for him, again, is the most unselfish thing I have ever felt. I love him beyond words, I love him with my whole body, mind, heart and soul. Every fiber in my skin trembles just by the mention of his name. But I do not love him in a “crazy” way. I would never go stalk him, would never force him to love me, would never impose my feelings. The only thing I truly want is for him to smile and be happy. Again, even if it’s not with me. I’ve been feeling like this for years hun, and this is why I don’t take things lightly and go crazy, because time has given me “wisdom”, or however you would call it. Believe me when I say that I try everyday to forget what I feel for him, to get over it because… he’s an idol. But I can’t. The more I try the worse it becomes. The more I find myself loving him, even when I think it’s impossible to love him more than I do today. And again, I do not care who he is with, as long as he is happy. Even if I stay alone my whole life. And you know why? Because even without knowing he gave me love. I mean, thanks to him I lived love in my life, with my own flesh, I can say I found what we all wish to do in our lives. What some die, without even finding once in their lives. And I will always be grateful to him for that, for the experience I got to live thanks to him. Even after explaining this to you, I can say this is just the tip of the iceberg. Feelings are so complex and hard to explain and this is why I think everyone feels different, no matter how similar it is. There are so many things behind the words we say. Imagine you found two girls that wrote exactly the same thing about him. Like every word, every punctuation, everything is the same. I still think that even after saying the exact same thing, the feeling is different. Because no one has the same heart and same mind. I don’t think that even soulmates, if they exist, do. Fuck this was long sorry. Xo, Ara~