#bc i am mentally unwell
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Ok Actually earthspark will be the one continuity where I would be happy if blurr is a jock bc then he can be the Troy to bumblebee's Abed
#no i havent watched community ive only seen clips and the video essay on troy & abed's undying love for each other#and also i am only on episode 1 of earthspark#yes i am immediately thinking ''what if i designed earthspark blurr''#bc i am mentally unwell#i see a bumblebee and i need to make sure there's a blurr for him. do not ever separate them 🥺#though idk if i can make myself so through with making a version of blurr thats a jock on purpose. i like my blurrs nerdy and dweeby#maybe if i make him a nerdy jock. which is technically how i would normally characterize him as#he can be rlly into athletics just make sure hes still a dork abt it#thats what i dont particularly love abt recent blurr characterizations bc they just focus on him being fast#but dont pick up on blurrs other big defining character trait: the anxiety#the power is in my hands tho..... theres no earthspark blurr as far as im aware & i am not certain of if they would ever include him#lets see if my brain hyperfocuses then I'll figure out what happens next if i black out and wake up to a blurr design#no prommys i am supposed to be working on a bunch of school stuff atm#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦
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everything is going to be okay
#i played through omori and uhhhhhh i am mentally unwell#planning on drawing more characters but i drew basil first bc my old roommate's name is basil LOL#omori#basil omori#fan art#omori spoilers#becki draws stuff n stuff#rendered
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IM GONNA CUCK MY SON AND STEAL HIS WIFE ‼️‼️
#tlj fits bc i too am mentally unwell and silly#sorry binghe..#go to your room and think about what youve done while i fuck your wife#binghe allegations
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me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode
the brain: :/
#two things i will now overshare about in the tags:#the number and severity of symptoms i am exhibiting that indicate uhhhhhh#an anxiety disorder that i Don't have. don't want to have please. i fear this.#anyway I'm getting outnumbered. but i am still convinced I'm making it up so anyway#2. bro when u catch a glimpse of ur friends on social media#and the lives they're living and their successes and accomplishments#and ur like damn. yall living out here ?#(and also like. damn. yall feel like u deserve to celebrate yourselves?)#(yall don't feel like a horrible dessicated corpse most of the time emotionally?)#yall is not part of my vernacular i feel the need to say this#hurgle says things#2024 was supposed to be my mentally well year. who the fuck is this#like my depression we are chill i know her. we talk we discuss. we're okay#this new beast though who has been festering in here. i want her to move out............#but i think she might have already set up all her furniture...... and I'm hiding in my room#do u get my metaphors#anyway I'm fine bc I'm used to living like this but i am. unwell.
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Cringe be damned, cause IDGAF (I do) here is my mfb oc
His name is Kyo Noruki, and tbh I haven't really fleshed out all his lore
⚠️ YAP WARNING UNDER CUT⚠️
What I do know is that
He is/was a part of the Dark Nebula throughout season 1, he was a part of it since episode 1, but I don't know his reason for joining yet, but I don't think he really cares for their goals or anything.
He got ANTI-blader spirit, he isn't evil but he simply sees beys as pieces of metal, he doesn't believe in beys being sentient or having spirits or anything, so all of his battles have a sort of empty vibe, like something's just not right, because he has no passion.
Again, he's not evil or a bad person or anything, he just never had a bond with his bey cause he sees it as a spinning top.
(lil tidbit: I hc that he doesn't call out his beys name during battles, he just calls out the moves, bc again, no bond)
Because of his anti spirit, he doesn't take many beyblade related things seriously, like L-Drago eating peoples souls, because to him, 'it's just a spinning top, it can't be that serious', and with Reiji torturing people, he just doesn't get what the big deal is, like 'yea your bey broke, just fix it later?'.
(bc of this I feel like he wouldn't be mentally affected by Reiji, like he'd lose in a fight w him but he wouldn't really gaf)
I feel like Kyo would REALLY piss Gingka off, because he has NO spirit NO passion and NO fucks to give, and his bey is suffering for it.
His arc would probably be Gingka hitting him with his fist of The bladers Spirit™ by the end of season 1, and Kyo trying to make it up to his bey and bond with it in season 2 (idk where he'd be in season 3, cuz ngl, not the biggest Fury fan).
He has his own morals and stuff, but he is more on the morally-grey side of the spectrum, like he wouldn't kill anyone or anything, but he would harm someone if he had to, it's all a means to an end for him.
I am having troubles with his bey though, because honestly I don't really know the etiquette for making up beyblades, I want him to have some kind of fox because it just fits his vibe? idk, but the only fox bey I know of is Spiral Fox, which is taken, so I'm very open to suggestions, I've been thinking about the names Flash Fox and Phantom Fox tho.
Anyway, here's some lil character interaction doodles :D
(ignore how off model he looks, doodle are doodles) but anyway, thank you so much for making it through my brain gunk
I'm sorry, but there will probably be more to come 😔
#mfb#beyblade metal fight#metal fight beyblade#original character#yu tendo#daidoji#gingka hagane#i am so sorry#i will prolly be yapping a ton more about him bc im mentally unwell#so im just gonna give him a tag#Kyo Noruki MFB#dude i started writing and then i could NOT SHUT UP 😭#i have so many lil interactions planned out between him and the cast#does your oc wanna be friends with my oc? 🥺#ok time to go back into my little hole and suffocate <3#toodles
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MOM THE FUCKING DEMON POSSESSED ME AGAIN AND IT DIDN'T WANNA WORK ON ANIMATRONICS BANGS HEAD
Singles under the cut!
#anyways hi yes i dont CARE if you dont know dragonball you are GOING to peep my babies#dragonball ocs#these are. very specifically for db xenoverse 2 do you understand how mentally unwell i am about that game#and how ANGUISHED i am that APPARENTLY THERE'S BEEN FUCKING. STORY SHIT HAPPENING AND I NEVER KNEW!!!!!!!!!!#anyways hi these are my sillies that have gone through So Many fucking redesigns oh my god#kallabash used to be a girl. not anymore [transgenderfication beam be upon ye] /hj#jericho oh my god sweet baby i've been fighting for my life#BUT NOT AS MUCH AS RAINE OH MY GOD HE'S GONE THROUGH THE MOST ITERATIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE#anywhoooo something something if you know the gist of the xenoverse games- these guys are a big team!#kallabash jericho and blizzard are heavy hitters#whilst keyta and lulu provide support and then there's raine who actually is a talented inventor bc#i think we can have more of that as a treat#i've been. thinking about these fuckers on and off for a few months now and the fucking#shenanigans these idiots have/would get into#heart emojis <33#they're gonna be on artfight and. now excuse me while i fight with lesbians and the tumblr sexyman (apparently)#dbxv2 ocs#dbxv2 oc#xenoverse 2 oc#xenoverse 2 ocs#namekian oc#majin oc#saiyan oc#icejin oc
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maybe in another life
The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, Jose Saramago / Obbligato, Ensemble Stars, translated by @hyenahunt / Hopscotch, Julio Cortazar / The Kiss of Judas, Ignazio Jacometti / Almost Heaven, Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon
#shay speaks#web weaving#enstars#ensemble stars#tatsumi kazehaya#kaname tojou#tatsukana#this is a tatsukana themed web weaving bc i am so mentally unwell. but anyway#spent too long trying to figure out a title#everything has alt text and exact sources for each in that as well....#first attempt at web weaving pls be gentle.
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my mom used to buy me this russian book as a kid but she had to stop cause the pierre would make me go crazy and hurt myself and others
#pierre posting#i have been feeling mentally unwell the last few weeks bc of the romantic (sexual) desires i have towards him#pierre bezukhov#wap shitpost#i feel like i shouldn't use actual tags for my pierre posting bc what 1800 russian historical literature fans r talking abt him the way i am#;-;#I CANT HELP WHO I AM !!#war and peace
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sorry i suck at taking images
but i contained him and took him out on the town.... we even dressed up together
#yeah im mentally unwell#but at least i am having fun ^_^#de#jean vicquemare#babygirlposting#his facial hair needs more taming i think but i need special trimmers for it bc this material is THICK#thought it was regular wig material but its synthetic so it doesnt cut with anything but fabric shears
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just what exactly are you supposed to do when part of your job is exorcising the undead but then out of all people it's your husband who dies horrifically and crawls back up as a murder monster
#oc: vasil#good evening mutuals i am still mentally unwell about them#even tho i got almost no story set down bcs i cant decide which way for it to go#sketch#i cant do anything big work is horrible to me
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image I.D. below the cut
image description start:
[a promotional picture of Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam on the left and Dean on the right, their images from circa 2010. They both stare challengingly into the camera with their arms crossed, though Dean also holds a large blade. The background is a two lane blacktop with an older style of power line and corn on either side. At the top and bottom are flames. Sam says "im restricting", Dean says "and im bingeing" and the flaming text gif at the bottom reads "the eating disorder brothers.]
image description end.
#theyre both so unwell#grew up in a financially unstable environment and coped opposite ways.#and i left it broad on purpose bc theres a lot of ways you can interpret their weird shit about food#bc i too am deeply unwell i counted every time sam eats on screen (not sits next to a plate of food–actually puts it in his mouth) and its#22 times. less than twice a season. i realize this could be in large part bc jared didnt want to have to act that but im choosing to Believe#not in him but my mentally ill agenda. bc you wanna look at me and say that hes totally normal aboht this when he has a guilt complex#autonomy issues a holdup with purity/cleanliness a boatload of self-loathing and an obsession with control.#and this feels familiar so just message or comment for credit or removal :)#i dont mean to plagiarize#also i didnt talk about it much but. dean definitely sees food as an assurance of safety and turns to it when under duress to the point of#excess. and also gets very specific and protective/territorial about his food.#so.#this is a silly meme but there are so many thoughts behind it#sam winchester#dean winchester#spn#ed mention
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i have such a huge fear of getting pregnant i wish i could just get my tubes tied so i could have sex without a condom without worrying i could ruin my life 😭
#it scares me so much like aside from the complete parasitic body horror the thought of being completely responsible for someone else’s well#being.#i watched this episode of law & order svu where one of the character’s had to give up ur son to a foster home bc she was so unwell mentally#her son who was like 5 had to beg her to get up n feed him n she still wouldn’t#n it made me cry so much like that’s how i picture motherhood for me#how could i do that to someone.#n why is it expected of me… my mom always says how ppl from our town r surprised i don’t have kids n i am not married yet bc i’m already 25#like stoppp it leave me alone😭#n my boyfriend has mentioned many times about having kids like boy i don’t know WHO ur having kids w but it’s not going to be me!#.txt
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ive realized MATA just keeps using the same manipulation tactics on the ppl they recruit bc they did this twice (as far as we know)
#these are the SAME SCENE#i am mentally unwell#i hate it i hate it here#i have a lot of headcanons#n i dont expect almost any of them to be canon#but i NEED. a fucked up episode of rudys trauma and past in MATA#and this just#i hate it here#ejen ali#ejen ali the movie#ejen rudy#ejen ali musim 2#this also makes me think of the time of when this happened?#bc like#i dunno#bc if this happened like a few months apart#chances are rudy would have known Aliya somewhat#but bc he was a baby he cant really remember her without jogging her memory a bit#WAU i need answers omg#ejen aliya#ejen djin#ejen dayang
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SAUL'S ITINERARY—
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 29TH, 2024. lakeside banquet hall, cantwell country club.
9:00 AM to 10:30 AM: Prepare to receive guests, meet with the board chairman, and check to make sure the caterers have everything they need. (Meet Phoebe at the gates.)
10:30 AM to 11:00 AM: Receive and greet the first guests to arrive, direct them towards the bar for Brunch Cocktail Hour or to find their table for the luncheon, check on last minute details. (Interactions OPEN.)
11:00 AM to 12:00 PM: Enjoy brunch cocktails and chat with guests. (Confront Thalia about her arriving with Leon.)
12:00 PM to 1:00 PM: Lunch is served. Introduce special guests and keynote speakers. Mingle around the party. (Reassure Nilay about her speech.)
1:00 PM to 2:00 PM: Mingle, mingle, mingle. Have a freak out about the Dessert Buffet. (Have a conversation with Clementine, Roman, and Valentine. Check in with Rachel.)
2:00 PM to 2:30 PM: Dessert Buffet opens. Take a smoke break. (Hit on Rory outside the Country Club, then realize they've already slept together before.)
2:30 PM to 3:00 PM: Closing Remarks begin. Thank guests profusely for attending and donating to Bright Sparks, overreaching their donation goal by a thousand dollars. (Have a conversation with Terry.)
3:00 PM to 4:00 PM: Help clean up after event and direct guests to leave the country club. Close up shop on a successful luncheon and fundraising event! (Confront Micah in the parking lot and then drive him to Terry's.)
#* event / the weissberg law firm's charity luncheon.#just a lil timeline to keep things streamlined for me bc i am Mentally Unwell.
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"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that
#joking but like. am I wrong though#yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell#except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem#I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning.#and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me.#I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it#this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think#mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction#but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face#anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops#also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend??#well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie#really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level#mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child#but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful#oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships#ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS#literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them#there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine#guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry#narcissus's echoes#vent
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i know it’s a stupid thing to whine about and i’m sorry but the low engagement in my fics lately is super bumming me out, plus the wildfires means there’s no sunlight rn and that uh. is generally bad. for my brain. so i’m going to take a break for a bit?? for at least tonight. i need to sort my shit out and do some writing practice to figure out what i’m doing wrong. FRF is definitely still on and queued for tomorrow, and i haven’t decided about wip wednesday yet (not even sure if i’m continuing that bc so far that’s been a flop) so i’ll let y’all know :) be safe and stay healthy everyone i’ll be back soon
#i feel so bad guys i’m sorry#but lately every time i post i feel like i’m failing the peer review and since i am among the most sensitive it bitches you will ever meet#that is going unwell for me#u know that scene in inside. where bo is like yeah so my mental health is kind of at an atl#not atlanta#but all time low?#that’s me rn.#lol#anyways. i’m still going to be writing lots bc writing still makes me feel good#it’s just the posting that makes me want to cry#so.#anyways sorry this is cringe and embarrassing and emotional#i’ll be back either tomorrow or with further information tomorrow#depends on if my seasonal depressed ass sees the sun or not lol you’d be shocked at how fast i spiral#lmao#personal#announcement#?
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