#bc fang was just like 'i am NOT risking you going all hypnotized again & jumping in the water while we're sleeping'

[orcelito]

so in dnd we found this uh. Divination fountain thing. an elfy thing. our resident elf went diving, & when i lost my grip on him i went in after

so the elf (our wizard) was at this grave and Fully thought he was this different dude. and that this was his dead wife's grave. and so when Fang went after him, he just... saw said dead wife. speaking in elvish, openly weeping as he held Fang like a dead lover, while Fang saw None of this and was just SO confused. trying to coax him back out of the weird vision.

it worked! we got him out. but it left Fang with a few impressions. A: he really does not have romantic feelings for this guy, so it was just Hopeless Confusion rather than fluster at it all. but also B: he'd been held like a Lover for the first time in his life, and it gave him an ache he didnt know how to name.

as we were making camp, he was thinking about it. ended up talking with the paladin, aka his actual crush (that he STILL doesnt realize is a crush). he tried to make sense of it, but still couldnt. and then turned the conversation onto her, asking how she's doing with everything. it's been a lot of killing and a lot of violence, and she voiced uncertainty with it all. feeling like she's just one of the criminals she'd sworn to stop when she first became a knight. and earlier, she mentioned feeling like we were monsters when we killed a captive after getting information from them.

and fang listened to this. then shared his point of view. this being a thing of survival, rather than just for the joy of killing. mentioned how sometimes you have to do things you find unpleasant in order to survive, but so long as they're doing good in the end, it'll be okay.

he wasn't sure if he'd really gotten through to her. he wanted to make Sure he did. so spurred on by that strange ache he'd felt (& still didnt understand), he reached for that intimacy. held her face between his hands to look directly in her eyes as he reiterated his point. killing for survival doesnt make them Monsters, so long as they're trying to do good in the world. trying to convince her of this as much as he's trying to convince himself.

she quietly accepts his words, contemplative at it all. he nods, then pulls his hands from her face (his fingers trembling just as mine were when I mimicked the motion). there was a small blush on her face.

and they continued their watch. one step closer to Fang finally realizing how he feels.