#bc all I know about Archer & T'Pol is Archer going

[bumblingbabooshka]

Ensigns Tuvok, Spock, Kirk and Janeway reporting for duty! Kirk says that he was known for being so serious the other cadets bullied him about it (and that even when he taught at the academy he was renown for being a tough grader) so I think he'd actually get along with Tuvok if they could put aside that Tuvok obviously doesn't want to be in Starfleet. Tuvok too seems like others perceived him as too serious and his instruction style has a drill-sergeant je ne sais quoi. Meanwhile for Spock I'm pulling on that one pilot episode where he's on Pike's ship as an ensign. Because it was before they nailed down what Vulcans were about, Spock was much more expressive in that episode. I think it'd be cute if he just can't hide how psyched he is about science and exploration and Janeway would totally relate to that - Tuvok at one point scolded her for being TOO focused on science while in a command position AND Janeway has shown herself to be able to win over the heart of even the most Vulcan-y of Vulcans through her earnest understanding and drive so she and Spock are gonna vibe heavily. We should put all the Vulcan-Human pairs that are weird about each other in one room AU. [Patreon | Commissions]

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. the update is, we have finally started enterprise. here are things i knew about enterprise before starting:

set 100 years before tos (i was close, it's more like slightly under 100 years after first contact and a hundred and change before tos)

hoshi sato apparently dies on tarsus iv

INSANELY sexy chemistry between t'pol and trip tucker every gifset i have ever seen is bananas but they have a love triangle with archer, who is a bitch

they have some kind of baby in an au or something

MIRRORVERSE

vt'pol pon farr episode

lots of sexism everybody is mean to t'pol bc nobody likes vulcans

riker cameo at the end and everybody hated that and also a bunch of people die in badly written ways in the finale

theme song controversial.

prior to starting this i was like this is sttill technically kinda 90s trek it's got the riker cameo like 2001 isn't so far from the 90s and immediately we got hit with the theme song and the weird sexism and MAN what a downgrade from voyager. this is post 9/11 trek baby. we are in a different world now. i will miss ds9 and voyager so much

i was...honestly kind of bored by this. it wasn't as bad as the tng pilot but nowhere near as good as the voyager or ds9 pilots, the latter of which is high art. i did not find myself especially endeared to anyone except poor hoshi sato, who did not ask for this and reltably jumps at her shadow at every opportunity. i know it isn't t'pol's fault she's writen that way, and i feel certain i will be very endeared to her by the end, but in this episode she just kind of annoyed me.

as for the men, no one really stood out to be except trip and archer (i'm not even sure of everybody else's name yet, except dr phlox, whose freaky smile did make me scream aloud). as stated, archer is a bitch. he is mean and yells for no reason because of like...daddy issues that don't feel like they have any real weight. i don't like his acting and he has evoked no emotional response from me except annoyance. i like trip a little better! while i'm not losing my mind over him or anything he is fun, and i do like that even though his accent is fake (said "can't" instead of "cain't"), he did remember to change the end of "thursday" to "thursdee." that is how we say it yeah

the time period we're in did seem neat to me at first (you have to appreciate them not having gotten the transporter working on people yet and warp 4 still being fancy to them lol), but i don't really understand why the vulcans have been the boss of these guys for 90 years or whatever, have they just been saying "space is dangerous don't go" for that long and all of humanity listened? i think narratively they exist to be rules, and the rules exist to be bucked by captain archer, because he's an AMERICAN, DAMMIT. post 9/11. i get there's no federation or whatever yet, this is the wild west, but jesus fucking christ. also i hate that cochrane came up with the fucking speech. fuck that guy! rapey ass tos episode. anyway speaking on the time period i also liked the gravity thing. very fun

but like...the dinner where she was cutting her breadstick and talking about human barbarism for eating animals?? what even was that. we've had this philosophical discussion in trek a thousand times already. we KNOW humans aren't going to become brutes because this is a prequel. nothing in here was meaty enough (sorry) to justify retreading those points.

i did like this new race of bend shapeshifting guys. like, i miss odo, but also, whatever they've got going on was really fun. and the language barrier with the klingon at the end DURING the fight was also entertaining. i did also wind up liking the extremely gregarious scene with the decontaminating gel or whatever...at first i was very annoyed (you can see her nipples! give this woman some dignity! they could have done this separately!) but 1. trip was a perfect gentleman and 2. when she was like "turn around" i knew in my heart she could give him the strap.

other than that, very little to be compelled by, but at least i don't hate anybody except archer and the fucking subtitles. the subtitles on this were so so so so so SO bad. straight up disappeared at one point. i hate paramount plus so much <3

TONIGHT: ent's "fight or flight" and "strange new world."

[unlimitedhorsepower]

Watching ENT and there's many things about it I genuinely enjoy amidst a sea of some shit but it's a stretch to call it good when they constantly forget Travis exists..... Who's got the most interesting backstory....

Every time I start a new episode I hope a space anomaly kills Trip bc 80% of the episodes he gets should've been Travis episodes legitimately. And I thought like 2 episodes in would love the guy and he's funny I admit but god damn I've had enough of this dude

My only solace is Michael DIS sharing a habit with Travis but I can't remember Trip ever being referenced so all's right in the DIS world. It's actually sadfunny to now know (after reading a ton of begative reviews of DIS on the topic of allegedly not referencing other shows) that since DIS is chronologically after ENT, it multiply references ENT eg. even the blue uniforms & bronze exosuits etc (and its hard to reference things that didn't happen yet) but nobody knows since nobody saw ENT.....

Which I kinda get ngl but augh. DIS saw a lot of effort to fit in the constraints offered by ENT and TOS since it's situated between those two and they put down some hard rules about the state of klingon politics for example 😔 Not a good era but not by choice

Anyway. Im obsessed with Phlox he's so handsome and fun. And I can't talk abt T'pol (or Hoshi) without going on a narrative misogyny meltdown rant so I shan't. Archer is Columbo as a captain and Reed would be happier on E.

[leolaroot]

I'm anxious waiting for my psych to call so let's go over some t4t star trek couples ok ✌️😊

tos

Uhura and chapel! both transbians and both femmes :)

chekov and Sulu - both nb ! Sulu is amab agender and Chekhov is afab transmasc nb

Kirk and spock are both trans duh. i think Spock is nonbinary because his masculinity is informed by both Vulcan and human ideals but doesn't conform to either :)

also I'm putting spuhura here bc I mostly just ship them in aos but I didn't wanna make a whole new category just for those two lovebirds.

tng

DEANNA AND RIKER DUH............ The transgenderism is literally off the charts my Geiger counter is going crazy.

Tasha and Deanna also are both trans :) I think Tasha deserves to be a trans butch lesbian. if they let me in the writers room it would've been clearer.

data and geordi r both trans. I've spoken at length about how transgender data is and geordi is too!!!!! i think data is perhaps nb but in a very masc way. also I think he should have boobies if he wants. why not.

Riker and data also because I'm the boss.

worf is cis because I think it's funnier that way. thank you and goodnight.

ds9

Kira and Jadzia. need I say more?

Jake/nog LOL I think they are both nonbinary but the thing is that Jake doesn't even know nog is really because he's just not that aware of how ferengi gender works and nog assumed he knew because he watched nog transition. when Jake comes out nog is like. oh cool we match :) and Jake is like. HUH?

rom and leeta :) this one is canon and true. don't ask me how just accept this.

Julian and ezri are also both transgendah. ezri doesn't really have a handle on her gender during their relationship but she's nb, Julian's a trans man 😎 if he knew about neurogender stuff Holy Fuck he would get so into that.

voyager

KES and NEELIX. are both transmasc. thank you for your time. kes is a she/her gay trans man neelix is nb like me:)

tuvok x neelix. :). you saw this coming. I think tuvok is nonbinary but in a Vulcan way .

b'elanna and Tom are t4t and they're bad for each other but they are t4t so. representation for toxic t4t relationship <3

also b7 t4t ultimate truth.

Harry and Tom are so fucking transmasc are you kidding me? are you kidding?

honourable mention icheb and q2 but they don't know it. at the time lol

ent

TRIP AND ARCHER ! cheer and applaud me.

also t'pol and trip SOOOOO fucking transgender.

t'pol and hoshi are also :)

phlox too I think a good chunk of his polycule is t4t if not all because he's a man of taste.

shran could be trans but I'm not sure bc I'm not the Andorian gender genius that's dy's job

reed is trans but he's an incel. also he'd probably not date trans people. loser virgin etc

[quarkmonger]

Sure! And yeah, thankfully with there only being 4 seasons you maybe able to get thru most of the show. I’ll throw the rest under a cut since it got long lol 

Season 2 Ep1 is the rest of ep 26 so you'll want to watch them together if you do.

Ep2 Carbon Creek is Vulcan centered and so good.

Ep3-7 are entertaining, but if I had to skip some for time constraints these are not my favorites. Minefield is basically an hour long bomb defusing. Dead Stop has some neat technology bits showing how limited Starfleet is but that's about it. A night in sick bay has interesting medical aspects but it's mainly just Archer having emotions. Marauders is completly skippable imo. The seventh is a bounty hunt.

Ep8 is another episode that puts the crew into a tough spot since they don't have the prime directive. I think its worth watch for that reason, bc one of the things I enjoy most about Enterprise are the ways they create building blocks for future Trek, but its not a terribly fun episode otherwise so could be skipped.

Ep9 is a classic Star Trek space anomaly makes the crew go crazy episode, a personal favorite trek trope.

Ep10 A great Hoshi episode with fun sci fi aspects

Ep13 is another of my favorite episodes in the series, but that's because Trip is my favorite character and Darmok is my favorite episode of TNG which has a similar plot.

Ep 14 another Vulcan lore establishing episode that's good to watch

Ep15 has Shran 💙

Ep16 is also important for the overall time travel arc

Ep17 + 18 are both entertaining, 17 in an action pact way, 18 more so in a sci fi way. Both could be watched, or skipped. My personal choice if I could only watch one? Ep 18

Ep22 is arguably the worst episode of Star Trek. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.. So depending on how you feel about such things it maybe worth watching, just to Know.

Ep23 has Borg and connects with the movie first contact which is neat

Ep 25 I only include bc Tpol goes thru pon Farr so you may be interested in it, but it kind of is presented for laughs and is only a side plot to a much less interesting story with Archer.. A story that if you didn't watch other episodes (S1ep14 + S2ep19) wouldn't make total sense.

Ep 26 starts the Xindi arc for season 3. 

-Season3- runs similar to the Dominion War plot of Ds9, most episodes have something to do with that story and so if there's a season to watch most of its the 3rd.

Episodes that don't matter much to the Xindi Arc are Ep3, Ep8, and Ep9. (Tho 9 has cowboy Archer haha)

Ep8 is a really good episode even though it doesn't "exactly" link with this Xindi story. It’s compelling for challenges to morality and ethics. 

-Season 4- is compiled of several stories told over multiple episodes, so you could chose which one was interesting and watch only that.

Ep1 is the continuation of ep 24 from season 3, episode 2 finishes this storyline. Its kind 'of oh well I need to watch this to know what happens' type of thing since the Xindi plot launches directly into this one, but personally I will never understand the obsession Trek writers had with Na/tzis episodes.

Ep3 is a stand alone, Archer deals with hero worship he doesn't feel he deserves basically. However T’pol visits Vulcan so that side plot is interesting if you're invested in Trip × T'pol

Episodes 4, 5 + 6 go together and are about augments. Brent Spiner guest stars and I very much enjoyed this storyline.

Episodes 7, 8 + 9 go together and IMO are some of the most interesting of the series. It's all about Vulcans and takes place mainly on Vulcan so real good. Also Shran.

Ep10 is dull as dishwater IMO.

Ep11 is another one that makes my top 5 favorite episodes of the series, I would want anyone to watch this episode but it does stand alone and could be skipped.

Episodes 12, 13 + 14 go together and have Shran, they also introduce the Aenar. A good story, interesting and all. But if I only had so much time and had to pick? I'd watch the Augments and Vulcan episodes before these. (Shran forgive me!)

Episodes 15, 16 + 17 go together and finally give the viewer a plausible explanation of how Klingons can look how they look in ENT yet also end up as the do in TOS. (Something I'd been personally obsessed with trying to figure out since Ep1 lol)

Eps 18 + 19 Mirror Dimension baby! Worth it for Mirror Phlox alone.

Eps 20 + 21 go together also, these are definitely worth a watch. 

The final episode (22) is a strange one since it's shown thru the eyes of Riker being on the holodeck. But it does kind of wrap up the series in a nice way.

Good Luck! I hope you’re able to get through enough of it and TOS before the 30th! 

Btw I'm gonna be attempting to speed through the good bits of Enterprise in like 14 days. Any episodes that just Suck Real Hard that I can skip? General watch guide? It'd be really helpful!

[justcallmebang]

Finally getting into it

Not the opening credits, I still hate it.

Breaking the Ice- I've always wondered why shuttle crafts, or any seats for that matter, don't have safety harnesses. How many injuries have occurred over all of the series and movies bc there aren't seatbelts that pop out of the seats when red alert sounds? The snow Vulcan was super cute though and I'm liking where Trip and T'pol's relationship is going. The personal situation with T'pol was a nice change in her story (like actually giving her one), but I felt the resolution was a bit rushed for lack of a better term. I appreciated how the resolution came about, but she was so sure and set in her cultural ways that the 180°, although expected, was I guess anticlimactic.

Civilization- this was a really good episode, making first contact with a pre-industrial alien species. I was hoping that Hoshi had more of a main role in this episode, but in true Star Trek Captian fashion Archer had to let his alien swagger on.

Fortunate Son- I love Travis, he's so sweet and enthusiastic and I'm glad we got to get to know him a bit more. That Ryan guy was a total dick... Travis gave you steak dude!! Which reminds me, I love the fact that there is always food! I also hate it because it looks really good and I get hungry and anything I find in my fridge isn't as good as what's on tv... le sigh.

Cold Front- who is this magical chef that Archer has locked away? You know, the one that keeps cooking all the different dishes for all the different alien visitors, I know I know there have only been like 3 so far.

Ok, so we're back with more time travellers which is a very interesting storyline so far and it's getting more interesting now that we have American Cumberbatch in the mix bringing in more plot.... O... Well so much for American Cumberbatch... Or is it...

Cheers!

BANG