#bc I'm not here to be rude to people who do actually like the dude I just personally don't

[obessivedork]

Tbh I’m only keeping Sebastian installed so that Lelianna recognizes Hawke in MOTA and it’s very funny to imagine Hawke justifying why he’s around to their friends. “Look, yeah this dude SUCKS so bad he’s the antithesis to most of us including & especially Anders and Merrill and ME and even the most pro-Chantry/anti-mage of you can’t stand him but he’s paying well and I’d rather keep my friends close and enemies closer, so get off my dick (gender neutral) about it I promise he won’t learn about wicked grace night!”

[beeclaws]

fic writer interview!!

tysm @plusultraetc for the tag!! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

50 exactly!

What's your total AO3 word count?

234,906, almost half of which (110k) was written/posted this year. insane!!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

darken your door (12,832)

walk a mile (5642)

swan dive (4857)

rescue (3905)

something else to pretend (3,572)

there's a theme here and it's bnha fics i wrote in 2019/2020

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! with several asterisks i'll get into in a minute. i try to respond to every comment i get because:

i genuinely really appreciate that anyone takes the time to tell me they liked a fic when they could just consume it and say nothing with 0 consequences, so i want to say thank you

some comments have a rly big impact on me - change the way i feel about stuff, contain phrases i remember for a really long time, make me cry, etc - and just like how if someone writes a fic that impacts me then i want to tell them, i want to tell people how much their comment mattered

i often only figure out why i did something or made certain choices in a fic until someone prompts me to talk about it. it's such a useful exercise for understanding my own work better

i genuinely adore rambling about my fics, it's arguably more fun than writing them in the first place

it's really nice getting to chat to commenters and get to know people!

however. there is a 3-4 year period where i didn't reply to any comments at all because i got overwhelmed and then felt like it was too late to try and catch up. this still haunts me a little bit because i got some really lovely impactful comments in that era but it just feels too weird to reply literally like 5 years late 😭

2nd asterisk is some fics i feel kind of embarrassed about and so don't reply to comments on, 3rd is that i'm bad at managing my comments inbox so i'm sure i miss people out by accident sometimes, and 4th is that if i don't have anything nice to say then i won't respond...i get almost no comments i think are intentionally meant to be rude, but sometimes i get ones that rankle for one reason or another and i won't reply if i'm just gonna be tetchy bc again, i don't think they're meant badly

so very much a yes in theory but not in practice 😂

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

bargaining chips i think. the funny thing about that series is that in some ways i think things would ultimately turn out better than in canon (there's a reason the 2nd fic has akechi promise to contact ren if he does survive, a thing that would have paid off in the 3rd fic i never finished). but as of bargaining chips it's very much...this is the POV of a person who thinks the only power they have left in the world is to hurt people

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my usual ending is like bittersweet and/or hopeful, so for example i feel a lot of things about the cathertic (for me at least) endings for redux and something else to pretend and unwanted, but idk if they can exactly be called happy.

going to my pure silly fluff fics instead where we pretty much start happy and end happy: to work, to rest which ends with the gang being happy about stickers, or class pets which ends with class a getting three (3) cats

Do you write crossovers?

nope!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really! probably the closest was someone commenting on pathologised with just "WHERE IS YUSUKE?" in all caps 🙄 "why isn't my fave dude in your fic" is not a genre of comment i enjoy, though it's usually phrased more politely than that at least

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, though it's apparently fairly rampant in bnha fandom with those "what if deku [x]" youtube videos. i think those are reserved for fics with actual plots though

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i think i've been asked for permission for people to do so before, but i don't think i've ever actually seen anything posted...someone did translate a little section of one fic into spanish in a bookmarker comment once, which was very fun because i remember little bits of spanish from school & years of sporadic duolingo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it would be so fun 👀

What's your all-time favorite ship?

mannnn i just cannot care about romantic ships the way that seems to be so ubiquitous in fandom. even when i try and write romance it ends up as like ambigious tenderness or Friendship With Vibes. the few times i've even written kissing it's been just a build up to a kiss after which the fic immediately fades to black, which is really funny in retrospect like...buddy, is that because you stop caring about what's happening once the kissing starts?

i am fond of erasermic, jontim and shindeku, though i enjoy them as platonic dynamics pretty much the same amount

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

it mostly doesn't bother me to have tons of unfinished WIPs, i don't really put that expectation that everything i start will or should get finished/posted.

so the only one that genuinely bugs me is the third fic in seen and not heard, because i feel like i kind of promised it to people and then didn't deliver, and because it would have properly concluded a series i know a few people really connected with...and because the draft got to like 80% done but i could just never finish it off in a way i was happy with. maybe someday though

there's also a more recent bnha fic draft that i am really fond of in some ways, but i just could not take the discourse i think it would inspire. i might finish it just for me someday

What are your writing strengths?

cribbing all these from comments honestly but i think i'm pretty good at real-feeling emotional responses to situations. emotional realism, maybe? and writing introspection/people thinking and feeling things in general.

my characterisation gets complimented a fair bit, which is funny bc i think i actually take a lot of liberties with canon characters, but i guess i'm decent at couching those liberties in a way that makes it pass muster most of the time. like passing off a counterfeit watch as genuine

i'm somewhat good with grounding things in sensory detail, but that's one of those things i think i'll always be trying to get better at

What are your writing weaknesses?

i've never met a plot in my life and i don't want to. i also can't write longfic. in real-world terms i'm a short story writer and not a novelist - all those structural narrative things people do to make a long-form story work are just mystifying to me. part of that is just driven by what interests me though - i don't read a lot of plotty longfic either

i'm also still working on improving syntax and flow in my prose in general, but that's another one of those endless projects i think

oh also having more than two people in a prolonged dialogue scene is wildly difficult to me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i have no thoughts on this matter!

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

merlin! i wrote probably bad merlin fic on ff.net back when i was like 15/16. it's actually the reason i joined tumblr in the first place, bc my fave merlin fic writer had a tumblr and i got curious

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i'd like to write more about my silly little video game OCs. i've dabbled in it a bit before but i've never really invested in it because i know no one would read it/care. but i'm getting better at writing for myself and it is really fun to have records of these OCs that i love, so i hope i can write some stuff about the protag i make for new dragon age that i'll inevitably get deeply attached to

it's also kind of wild to me that i've never written for homestuck or dangan ronpa given the impact those two things had on my psyche

What's your favorite fic you've written?

my answer to this changes depending on the day but right now...something else to pretend my beloved

wow that got long. not tagging anyone but if you'd like to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[cannibalismyuri]

People aren’t obligated to reblog your fanfics if they don’t enjoy the writing. You don’t get as much attention because you’re not as known. You haven’t been publishing as long as the “big authors” you pretend to love but then bash them immediately afterwards. It sucks, but you can’t buy people’s affection. You pretend to be more humble than everyone else but then get pissed so easily because you don’t have bragging rights.

i never said everyone has to enjoy my writing. also the Thing is; these big authors have been publishing for longer yeah !! and their writing is absolutely marvelous and i genuinely adore them. but. they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others. and this is due to a cliquey mindset. it Is. as much as u like to pretend it isn't, it rlly rlly is. people can be just friends. there is nothing wrong with supporting ur friends' work more or being more invested in ur friends' work. the problem lies in the fact that many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up) which makes for a fandom that is going to die out. and dont u fucking dare bring my fics and my engagement and me into this. maybe i was petty abt that before and i acknowledge that. but i haven't made a single post abt how my fics are getting less engagement in Months. the post i did make and the one ur probably so butthurt abt wasn't even initially abt cliques. it was just saying that we need to rb more and be more vocal of our support of creators in the tags or - wherever. NOT underrated / underappreciated / smaller / less popular creators. i was Very general abt it. creators. period. the talk of cliques came into play when i peer reviewed someone's tags on that post. bc they were extremely real and the problem of less vocal support affects "popular" creators too! ive been noticing that they're also getting less engagement. but mostly the people affected by it are creators in the fandom with no prior popularity. and it is an actual issue. also when the actual fuck have i ever bought someone's affection?? im too broke for that, my dude, i struggle to pay rent most months. and i've Not acted humble or holier than thou. the reason i have so many moots and friends is bc im a genuinely nice person who wants to support and uplift EVERYONE in this fandom. i do have personal beef with people, but im civil to Everyone. thats the reason i have friends. unlike you, i dont send anon hate bc im butthurt over one (1) post <3 hope that fucking helps <3 also the post wasnt even abt ME. bc i genuinely dont give a fuck abt people seeing and liking my writing anymore bc i have Grown Past That and just... adopted a give no fucks mindset. the post was abt the fandom slacking and not appreciating creators (PERIOD.) enough. it was never abt me. also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down. i'm Friends, or at the very least, friendly moots w the writers ur talking abt. and im not trying to put them down. im trying to lift other people up, which is smth u just Don't understand apparently. i even contributed in a whole ass event to shine light on talented, less popular writers in the fandom. bylerficrecweek? u might ive heard of it. it helped, or i like to Think it did, with helping people branch out, but the problem wasn't completely solved. people who are equally as talented as the already popular creators have talked abt their experience with engagement in the exact same post that ur so pissed abt. im going to put tags from various people under the cut so that u can see exactly how much people are affected by the prominent clique problem in the byler fandom. hope u have a good day and u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look stupid 😚

THIS is the post im talking abt in question, the og post along with denise @bylertruther 's tags. i'm going to be putting screenshots of people's tags on this post with due credit. (to any of the people featured here : if u want me to remove ur tags feel free to say so!)

via @holyvirgilscriptures

via @runninguplenorahills

via @unwisewizard

via @apatheticlexicographer

via @fireflywitch

via @hawkwidows

via @sandinmybed

via @katimanki2

ANDDDDD thats it! hope u fucking realized that i was speaking generally and also Many people face this problem. kiss my ass 💋

[eijiroukiriot]

why do you see bkg as trans?

i've had this ask sitting in my drafts since like august BECAUSE i knew if i did the question justice it was gonna get VERY long and pretty personal - if i'm gonna talk about it then i gotta talk about it in all earnest. and you've given me the floor to talk about it. so!!

at first i had these typed out as two separate points but i think they go a lot more hand-in-hand than that, so to start - when i think about my own gender and why i can't bring myself to identify fully with womanhood a lot of it is because there's something that feels so free about masculinity. mostly just like because of womanhood on a societal level a lot of my experience as a girl forever has been "you need to think about how your existence makes other people feel. you really need to present yourself in a way that's pleasant for other people. the way you look, the way you talk, the way you conduct yourself - people are entitled to having a say in all that. and if any of that isn't living up to the way it's supposed to be, then that's a fault of yours." here's a vent post i made when i was 17:

which is mostly really superficial examples of the suffocating expectation of girlhood but it's also so blatantly about bkg. in the moment my thought process was more like "i'm so deeply unsatisfied with so many parts of being a girl, it sounds like there'd be so many less people to answer to if i were a boy" but it's funny reading back on it bc it's like "dude are you just talking about bkg". but then who's a better example of choosing to stomp through life exactly as loud and rude as he wants to be without answering to anyone than bakugou katsuki!! honest about his thoughts in any case!! free to speak as bluntly and rudely as he wants!! never putting up with shit that makes him feel unlike himself!! walks with big wide steps and wears stupid baggy clothes and doesn't care what people have to say about it and doesn't feel worse if they do disagree. grins crazy blasting himself through the air. fights with big windup swings and shouts all the while. huge huge presence and so unafraid to assert it. named himself great・explosion・murder・god dynamight. i think i project a big sense of defiance onto bkg's character because everything he is just feels so defiant to me. there's just a lot that i admire about boyhood and bkg feels like the embodiment of it to me

and then you've got bkg himself, who like- isn't even fulfilling the "doesn't feel worse about himself if he is genuinely not the greatest or kindest" part of it!! bkg's character is so centered around figuring out who he is and like navigating through the mortifying ordeal of existing and not actually liking the person you are and trying to figure out where to go from there- he really thinks he has so much to prove...both in the sense that he DOES want to project this big image and also that he really can't cut himself a break. and then he freaks out when he's not becoming the person he wants to be and picks a fight with deku over it and totally breaks down and picks himself back up and forces himself to seriously rewire the entire view of himself and others that he's had his entire life - he's 16 - and goes to all this teeth-clenching effort to be a better person and has highs and lows and wears himself raw and then comes back to life. well the quality of the later part of his arc is very debatable. but his character is so about just figuring out who he is and kind of failing at it a lot of the time. and then eventually figuring it out and getting confident and stable in it. he makes friends who rib on him because they know he's got a good heart under it all, and moreover he lets them. he gets good at shouting something back and carrying on. you see the amount of conscious thinking it takes him to take some of those steps - rethinking his relationship with deku, the god am i really fucking doing this scoff before he gives kirishima back the money - but a lot of it is just steady growth. growing up. genuinely getting more comfortable and more okay with himself over time. but there's also all these little failures along the way because he's just a kid figuring it out, and also genuinely this anger towards the world for not understanding it when he does assert himself (sports festival....where deku also specifically notes that he knows he's not as confident as he wants to be!)

i haven't really closely reread bnha in a sec so a lot of this is probably a lot of projecting (i know it's undeniably influenced by the picture of bkg i have in my head) and i probably also didn't really clarify anything, because in the end everything bakugou is feels very trans to me. "the image you have of bkg katsuki in your head can actually be so personal" etc. digging into my archives i found this post from years back where i described basically the same stuff about bkg being a teen figuring himself out and saying "so yeah he's trans" without being able to hit it more on the head. kirishima is my favorite most special boy of all time, and i love him in so many ways, but bkg is my cringefail stinky teen boy in w the unshatterable determination to actually go MAKE himself the person he wants to be, no matter how many missteps he makes on the way there. it brings me a lot of comfort to imagine him being a self-made man as a part of the because gender is so confusing and questioning can be so intense. i'm 23 and i'm typing all this about an anime boy so i hope it's evident what a soul-bearingly honest answer this is bc otherwise oh haha embarrassing. but yeah i love that kid. i hope every little victory and day where his voice sounds good to him and glance of his top scars in the mirror feels like one of the high points on the journey

[drawmanations]

Tagged by @cyanichexanthine a while ago to list 9 favourite characters (ty for tagging me). This is very much late, my brain was just blanking. So, here's the list. It's in no particular order, apart from the first two

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)

You gotta expect Rick to be in here. RnM is my main fandom right now, and of course Rick would be a favourite character. He's sarcastic, snarky, an asshole and has a lot of emotional baggage.

I wouldn't say he's too complex, but definitely not simple.

2. Rick Prime (Rick and Morty)

Prime is very interesting. We somehow get so much information with how little time we have. Although, most of it may be headcanonning. Tbh, I think that's why he's fun, we can headcanon Prime bc of how little screentime he has when you step back and look at the series as a whole.

Of course, we do know a lot about him from what we were shown. Like he's also a snarky asshole who likes to toy with other people and mess with them. Even when he was dying he could still get under Rick's skin.

3. Louise Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Louise has that kind of chaotic energy I vibe with. I think she and Bob are two of the best characters in the show, though that's not saying the other characters are worse.

4. Peril (Wings of Fire)

Peril is a very complex character with a very fucked up past.

When she was young, her mother was forced to give her to Scarlet, where she was then forced to grow up as a killer. Scarlet was very much abusive and she was isolated from everyone and everything.

Because of that path, everyone sees her as a killing machine and nothing more. Her attachment to Clay is unhealthy because of him being the only dragon to hear her our and see her for who she is, a traumatized dragon who only knows how to kill because of how she was raised. And I guess her having firescales and him having fireproof saes helps with that.

I like Peril because of how complex she is. And I hate how some of the fandom is victim blaming her.

5. Ex-Queen Scarlet (Wings of Fire)

She's a villain. A queen. She slays. Scarlet is my favourite villain in wof. Her design with the melted face is awesome, I really love her sadistic attitude too, bc off course I do.

I would strangle Scarlet lovingly

6. Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Mom Steve is all I have to say, and the fandom will get me. (I think... I'm not in the stranger things fandom, I just watched the show).

At first, I hated Steve, I thought he was an asshole and I watched to punch him. Now, if he dies, I will punch my TV. I've never switched so quickly with my liking for a character between two seasons of a show. I think... idk I don't watch many shows.

7. Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)

Jim is a cold and distant person turned adopted parent and I love him for that.

I also thought I would hate him. He seemed like lazy dude who would do nothing during the case. (Fun fact, I thought all the adults would be clueless and I would only like the kids, since most shows are like that). But he actually steps up in a big way.

I was worried that they would fuck him up in season 3 with him trying to break up Mike and Eleven. But, they made up for it, and I cried at the end of season 3.

I love him and Steve sm. Pls don't die.

8. Clive (Littlebigplanet 2)

Okay, this may be a bit weird, but hear me out.

This man is the best character in lbp2. He's so fucking depressed and I love him. Clive and his world are my favourite in LBP2.

9. Bob Belcher (Bob's Burgers)

Best cartoon dad, hands down. He's so chill and actually pays attention to his kids. Plus he isn't rude, offensive or a baby waiting for his wife to clean up after him. He's just a dad trying to do his job while also having 3 (if Tina counts) chaotic kids.

One of my favourite characters in Bob's burgers, fr.

That's the list. Idk who to tag so uh-...

👍

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Okay, so remember that concept with allura having amnesia? Ive been thinking about that. a lot. and how it related to kuron specifically-

Beacuse there are PARALELLS here. They both have to deal with a legacy left by a past version of them and they both irreversibly change as people. Kuron resents Shiro and what he represents, and allura struggles with living up to the mysticisied and glorified hero everyone tells her shes supposed to be. and its like- if they talked about it like NORMAL PEOPLE, if Kuron had ANY emotional intelligence left, they would see that they have a lot in common actually!!

BUT. at the same time. I dont think its really possible for them to do that, at least right now, beacuse a huge fuckin part of kurons trauma was caused by allura fucking KILLING HIM, and hes understandably pissed about it. and i think that allura not remembering anything would only make him even more upset, bc everyone besides him mourned and idolisied her, and constantly hearing how great and noble the person who killed you was must suck ass, and then she COMES BACK, and maybe Kuron wants to yell at her and make her feel guilty for what she did and he wants to look her in the face and tell her exactly what he thinks about her- but he CANT. beacuse she killed him, took his body from him, and she DOESNT REMEMBER.

i dont really know where i'm going with this, but. yeah. this whole situation propably sucks ass for both of them(maybe theyll never reconsile. Maybe they wont end up as friends. And that's okay!! its cool to think about tho)

Bestie, my friend, my dude, my guy, mere yaar, yOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE SPOT!!!!

So much of post s8 au is people who could have understood one another but dont because of the trauma everyone has, and Allura and Kuron are prime examples of it.

Kuron is not happy with her at all and all this 'hero worship' around her just further exacerbates it cause she used his body to bring back Shiro. Didnt even care that they were friends, didnt even care that he was a person, didnt even care that he may have been still alive, just used his body to bring Shiro back. And he hates her for it and hates people treating her like a hero and would have let her know that she's the worst but what is the point of that? She isnt here is she? She's dead and gone and they couldnt even bring back a body to bury because nothing of her left. So really what is the point of hating a dead woman? He avoids anything and every thing to do with her, and just tries very hard not to think about her, no bad vibes here sir we are just chillin hahahaha 😎😎😎😎😎

.......and then she comes back! And oh boy. Kuron is not having a good time at all. He is still very much avoiding her. If she's in the room, he's leaving the room and if he cant than being extremely snide and just glaring at her. Like he truly does want to explode on her and many times came close as well, but than he just walks out and screams in a pillow.

Allura has no fucking clue what to do with him. She doesnt even know him, doesnt know what his problem is, and thinks he's annoying. Really annoying and rude and she knows when she isnt wanted. Like she has met some genuinely terrible people on her journey throughout multiverse and Kuron is definately much better than them but also?? He's a fucking cunt. Everyone else is on the edge around him but no one wants to talk about it. And fine! Whatever! It's not like she's curious about what the fuck is up with this guy, or why he's the only one who doesnt look at her and is either about to cry or look at her like she personally put stars in the sky. She has too many problems and doesnt have the time for some dude's hostility.

But like once she knows about the whole mind replacing thing? Either because she was told or because she remembered bits and pieces. She's going to feel so guilty about it! Like crushing guilt. She'll try to make it up to him but given that he doesnt want to talk to her and even if he did she is convinced he probably hates her and doesnt want to see hom so she just. Going down the guilt spiral. Along with everything else

And yeah I think Kuron can never forgive Allura just like how he can never forgive Shiro. But i also think they'll come to an understanding and realize that they are similar and learn how to live with their pasts without it consuming them.

[caitkaminski]

Can't believe I'm saying this but this season has been progressing nicely. It was kind of slow and somewhat lacking but the more I play, the more excited I get. I even look forward to new updates every week ugh this is such a struggle I'm torn between disliking fusebox and liking this season 😂💀

This CA is enjoyable so far! But maybe I set my standard too low after ex in the villa, that's why this season seems better LOL

Personally I like Hamish, he's so rude but kind of hilarious? What a dork 😂

Francis is sweet (ish) but he reminds me of a certain someone who owns a food truck named Cocktails and Cronuts lol

Marshall omg LOVE THE DESIGN but damn he is laying it THICK! Grace will definitely bring him into the main villa, if MC decides to stick or pick someone else. Also dude, siblings fight and hold grudges but I won't badmouth my own sibling to other people. He's definitely Bitter with Ozzy hmm very sus

Andy oh man Ryan who?? Elliot who?? I don't know them 🤷‍♀️ I actually like Marshall before but man I am a changed woman. He's hot, nice AND a vet????? I just hope fusebox won't ruin his character when he gets to the main villa 🥲

(If anyones judging me for doing Ryan route, dont worry I'm judging myself here LOL I actually like the character at first but HE IS SO CRINGY NOW UGHH I regret not choosing Lewie and now he's gone in my current playthrough 😭 will deffo play loyal Lewie route next time!)

Omg this rant ask turned out pretty long, soz didn't expect that 😂

After all this long ass rant, what's your thought on CA boys?

omg pls don’t apologise for a long rant, i love chats about pixel boys so you’re gonna get a long reply. If only we were doing it over brunch or something 😂

ok SO, the casa boys are really funny!

like I love the banter they all have with each other and they’ve all got different personalities?! I’m shocked!! it might end up being a Johnny/Nicolas situation where they completely change in the main villa, but we’ll see!

Im actually really enjoying the season too and I really love how everyone can make their mc’s so different both personality and looks wise

As for the casa boys. None have really caught my eye 😭 I thought for a minute hamish would because yeah he’s dorky and funny. But then we got the bacon kiss and it’s a firm no from me.

Francis surprised me. We guessed EXACTLY how he’d be. Like spot on. Gross with the pee comments. But he really just is there for vibes (and maybe a roof to sleep under bc he has no house)

Marshall, I’m undecided by. He’s hot as hell and the Marshall/ozzy dynamic gives me the Salvatore brothers a lil. But he does lay in on thick and I’m not a fan of that.

And then there’s Andy 🥰 what a sweetie. I’ve always said someone needs a job as a vet. I know I’m a Lewie Stan but something about Andy is too sweet for me. Not to mention he looks 15 and I feel icky.

So yes, I will be running back to the main villa single if they let me. Ready to be hurt by pixel boys already.

[rocksandmirrors]

It was AMITY who bullied Willow for years, not Boscha. It was also Amity who came up with "half a witch Willow", Boscha only saying it once the entire series. You people have fucking selective memory, go back and actually watch the fucking episodes.

damn dude chill 😶 we're just having fun here

also have you missed the many scenes where Boscha pick on Willow, and by extension Gus and Luz?? it's not just bc she called her half-a-witch once, there's a lot more than that, and it's usually very petty. there's a whole episode dedicated to it as well

no one said Amity came up with the "half-a-witch" bit herself, we hear other students call Willow that in season 1 episode 3. just because Amity used it first doesn't mean she came up with it

so yeah, she participated in the bullying, that's true, and as i've said in another ask there's no explanation as to why she acts the way she does in s1e3 to Willow. but all the other instances, she's either very passive or pressured by her friends to behave like this. there are things to criticize about Amity bc she's not a flawless character, but that ain't it

btw i don't mind salt and unpopular opinions and stuff, but if you're gonna start acting rude and talk to me like i'm stupid then you have nothing to do here

[golbrocklovely]

I don’t want to sound rude, by any means, because i love your blog, but sometimes it kinda terrifies how much you guys obsess over Colby. You know who he follows, when he was with who, things that he doesn’t posts on his social media, you remember exact dates and timelines of what happened in his relationships with other people, when he was with who on the exact date etc etc. And all of this (well mostly) is not visible on his social media, it’s just stuff that you follow up. I know you guys are fans, but don’t you think you sometimes are looking too much into his life? Even if you are not a hater ( and i am talking to all the people) and do not hate on his every move, don’t you think that it might make him uncomfortable that you guys know something before he announce it officially? Like f.e his relationship with Malia. Almost all fans knew he was hooking up with her before he officially posted her and announced that he is with her. This dude cannot have a normal life and it’s not only haters that make it difficult for him, but also his own fans that stalk and note his every move.

i can't speak for every fan that does similar things to me, but i'll speak for myself on this.

originally, a lot of my seeking out info was just from pure curiosity. like, way back when i was in the jonas brothers fandom, i was the same way; always curious as to who they were dating. that's always been something i'm interested in. and when it came to colby, who was seemingly starting something new with a new girl every couple weeks, it became interesting to see how things would play out.

but to explain myself a little bit, one, most of the shit i talk about on here is strictly my opinion on the situation. i never claim to be saying what's actually happening, just what i think is happening. bc i know for a fact i don't know everything going on in his life. and two, a lot of the times i would base my opinions off of a, what he posted, b, what other fans have told me/talked about and then c, my assumption trying to connect what a and b are saying.

his dating life before malia is very much just a guessing game bc no girl has ever been confirmed by him. but what would usually happen is first he would follow them and then eventually the girl would post something on her story about him, tagging him, and that would alert fans. and in most of those situations, i was never the first to hear about it. i was just told it by other fans or fans would repost what said girl would post and that's how i would see it. there's a reason why every girl he's apparently been with has had a nickname on here. i've tried my best to make sure none of the girls get found out strictly bc i know how mean this fandom can be. plus a random girl he might be seeing for a week doesn't need to have 1000s of eyes on her randomly just bc she tagged him in a story.

when it comes to who he follows, i don't really pay much attention to that, and never really have. but sometimes i check in just bc i'm nosy. i'll admit that lol

as for malia, colby posted her on his story in early december of last year. then by his birthday the pics of them on nye got leaked by someone and shared all over the place. and when ppl would bring her up on here, i still only called her m. so by that point ppl just assumed they were dating. plus once he basically alerted everyone to her presence, it became easy to just go to her page, see she posted a story with him and then context clues it together that they were dating.

and on xplrclub he tried to walk back the pics and tagging her by saying that was a mistake, only to post her three-ish months later as his gf sksks

i do get what you mean, however. i think there are fans that go way too far when comes to him and his life. i mean there are fans that full on stalk him, find out the hotels they are staying at, the airbnbs, and then will find out where they are and in what city. those are the fans i'm concerned about. the fans that still think they have a chance with him. the fan that genuinely believes sam cockblocked her from getting with colby and then doxed katelyn on a twitter space… yeah, those fans are nuts. is what i do also kinda weird? sure. i won't deny that. but i know where the limit ends. i don't pry into his life. i just pay attention to what he gets tagged in and make assumptions. but if you find that weird, that's understandable.

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

so

i deliberately looked for and screenshot a few anti-ford comments on that poll

because i hate myself ig

anyways i'm gonna be ventin so dldr ig (i voted stan btw)

here we go

hey fuck you? fuck you personally? we don't know that. we can't know that. and hey? it also wouldn't've taken him thirty years, just for the record.

dude what. the fuck. is your problem. you fucking symptom.

rude?? he's literally not a smartass. 20 years of being intellectually ahead of stan; ten years after that of being around college students and professors in his multiple advanced-as-fuck fucking phd programs; thirty years of a personally driven revenge quest to destroy his ex-boyfriend who would otherwise destroy everything he cared about and laugh about it; coming home to find that his life had been taken over so thoroughly that he thought it was another parallel universe; seeing his greatest fear realized; trying to stop it anyway; failing horrendously because he got startled; being tortured with enough electricity to kill a person and that's just what was PG enough to show - and all he did that could otherwise be interpreted as smartassy was to calmly correct his brother-who-had-ruined-his-chances-to-go-to-a-good-university-then-denied-his-one-imperative-request-and-pushed-him-into-the-portal-just-to-open-it-back-up-despite-the-danger's grammar. For fuck's sake, let him be a fucking human you bitch

it's not a complex dude. he is literally both more intelligent and more educated in more fields than about 99% of people, especially of his generation. sorry

As if Stan didn't do the exact same thing on the roadtrip? He would've ended up food if the kids weren't there - hell, he even went back to Darlene after she had already attempted to eat him using the exact same flattery. Did Ford ever go back to Bill? No.

ford... was also doing the most for his family? like it was pretty clear that he was trying to save the world from bill; even before that, he was doing everything so he wouldn't let his dad down and also be disowned

hey can someone tell me what "everything" is because what the actual fuck

i feel like. those two things are incompatible? but either way, in the wake of my bruised ego, this genuinely confounds me bc. like the only thing i can think of that would make someone say that is his pre-portal relationship with bill, as portrayed by bill. and. idk. that story was more sad to me than anything because i've been there. the only thing he did wrong was trust too much.

ok the funnier bit i totally agree with but WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK FORD'S MORE SELFISH AND HATES THE KIDS LIKE ACTUALLY LIKE THE FIRST THING HE EVER SAID ABOUT MABEL WAS THAT HE LIKED HOW WEIRD SHE WAS AND HE SPENT 30 YEARS TRYING TO KILL THE UNKILLABLE THING THAT HAD DESTROYED AND WOULD DESTROY MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELVES

wh-what the fuck did he do. what the fuck did he do.

ok now this is just a case of envy. you gonna go home to your negative gpa? gonna cry because you can't find anything special about yourself? we have no idea what ford went through while he was on the other side of that damn portal, but we do know that stan never had to be afraid of sleeping because of what he, himself, would do while he wasn't looking. he never had to worry about who was in charge of his own mind. he never had to be afraid of children on the street, or his own brother. fuck you personally and get a fucking hobby.

he was 17/18 with an abusive father and scared?? also. ford was also going through it in the events leading up to the portal. like i know he was financially comfortable and shit but he was very much not okay

i'm not gonna say he was right not to forgive nor thank stan because he absolutely wasn't, but for the record: ford did also go insane. like that was a very significant thing that happened. also: see the smartass rant. and let him be human please i am begging you.

okay one fuck you because he wasn't "playing" anything. he was trying to get shit done and enjoy life at the same time and that's not a moral failing. two you're being unfair, he didn't "start punching" stan, he punched him once and then when stan tried to punch back he stopped him. he also had thirty years of nonstop action and fear and revenge quest on his mind, with literally no time to work through his hurt because he was too busy surviving, and then stan started the portal right as he'd almost succeeded in his thirty-year revenge quest. he should've forgiven him sooner, but it's not like it doesn't make sense, even from a moral standpoint.

i'm sensing envy and ableism here. sorry you have different strengths than ford; hope you recover soon.

he's like not though? at all?

and this last one made me smile so i wanted to put it at the end for a light ending

And we were all like, "We know, but heyy!"

[the1975attheirverybest]

Sometimes we do forgive him too fast bc he’s so sexy 😫 but that’s a conversation for another day lol

But yes. If him being a messy person is causing more conversations around morality and introspection and fame and cancel culture, then I’m so glad someone’s being the sacrificial lamb, because these conversations NEED to be had. I wish he’d go about it differently, but his impact is for sure there.

I also liked what you said about his songs being optimistic in a way. That’s why I love LIIWMI so much. It’s such a depressing song, but the line “love it if we made it” is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard in my life.

It’s like… the song is laying out all the reasons humanity sucks. All the flaws and horrors that WE create. It’s a song about humans being horrible. And yet he still says we are worth saving. He’d love it if we still survived. We’ve fucked up everything, but it would still be good if we prevailed. It’s almost religious lol even tho I know Mattys not a religious guy

I kinda feel that way about Matty right now as well. He’s messed up a lot lately. He’s been rude and entitled and cold… but I’d love it if he made it. Because I love him, and we should always be rooting for people to get better, feel better, and be better. We should be ready to embrace people when they turn around. NOT push them back and say “it’s too late now”

sooo tempted to type the lyrics to Sincerity is Scary here, but im resisting that urge, haha. its weird how its seemingly more relevant to what hes doing in 2023 than in 2018 haha.

Yeah, I mean, as a wealthy white dude, im wary of giving him a little too much praise, but....he can have a participation trophy, lol. His heart is in the right place, and he is, on the whole, right. he's made some major missteps, but the problems that hes pointing out are definitely there, and are worth thinking about. I guess I'm pleased to see that an artist actually believes that their art should be about real life things. And that you can do that without being like "its all a big mess why bother let's just burn it all down who cares." alright, that's enough praise. Let me balance it out: Matty you have ugly teeth, go fix them or something.

[rrxnjun]

CONGRATS ON UR MILESTONE U DESERVE IT SO MUCH🥳🥳🥳

oh my u got me blushing with that🥹🤭 but thank u for understanding💕 but i wish i wasnt this busy that i can barely open an app and just reply to someone🥲🥲

OH GOD IM READY TO CRY!! WILL GET SOME TISSUES WHEN U POST IT!!! although i'm kind of happy about it cuz i think i'm due to a good cry (also started to write my reply the day before u posted the fic and i couldn't finish writing it☹️ so now that i probs failed my exam this will be an amazing remedy)

OH MY LIEBESTRAUM MY BELOVEDDDD U JUST MADE MY DAY WITH SAYING THAT IM SO HAPPY OH MY GOD!!!!!🥳🥳🥳

im sure u did justice to them!!! but thats for sure that it was like 19736474 times better than the ones online cuz i actually understood ur one😵‍💫so thank u again!!!! and simple songs are the best i love them so muchhhh

THAT KINDA SOUNDS FUN BUT I UNDERSTAND THE ANXIETY PART CUZ I COULD NEVER DO THAT!!! the fact that u got so stressed u started to use german must have been a crazy amount of stress dude😧 LMAO IM GLAD IT MADE U MORE COMFORTABLE THO AND I HOPE U WILL ENJOY HUNGARY THEN🥳🥳 well there are definitely people who speak english and there are also many things written in english and if u need help with travel/public transport i can recommend u an app that u can set to english!! but the people are well kinda rude most of the times☹️ but my exchange student friend didn't really have any problems with anything!! she could only speak english and thai so she only used the app and in shops there is most likely a person with basic english knowledge and she didn't have a problem at all!! SO I HOPE I DIDNT CHANGE UR MIND ABOUT COMING HERE CUZ ITS VERY PRETTY AND STUFF!!!

GOOD LUCK FOR THE REST!!!! I HOPE IT WILL STAY STRESSLESS!! WELL MINE IS DEFINITELY GOING! CANT SAY ITS GOOD CANT SAY ITS BAD ITS JUST GOING🥲

oh my u are not annoying at all!!! i understand that so much daniel is such a lovely guy!!!

U SHOULD ADMIT IT TO URSLEF ITS FUN🫡 damnnn tbh very understandable jikjin is such a good song so ur spotify wrapped is going to be amazing😌 TREASURE MAP IS SO FUNNY!! although i don't think i ever finished it .-. but all of the ones i saw were so fun!!! AND ADMITTING TO BEING IN LOVE WITH MY BF JIHOON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IS CRIMINAL /j also about the posts i saw u make about jihoon, i understand u so much dude🤭 that guy is just so amazing and cool and everything🥲

thank u for not minding them what u wrote means a lot;-;💕💕I HOPE UR DAYS A FILLED WITH JOY TOO U ARE AMAZING!!!!💖💓💝

(and also expect another ask about me yelling how much i love ur new chenle fic sorry not sorry🫣) (liebestraum anon💕💕)

THANK U SM!!!! ❤🤍 it means a lot🥺🥺 awh i wish u werent so busy either bc it must be stressful. i do have a lot on my plate too but im still on this app more than i should be so props to u i think😭😭😭

omg noOO ☹☹ i really did activate my inner john green at the last two scenes because of the looking for alaska reread but hopefully it doesnt bring tears altho it was a cathartic write for me bc i resonate w chenle sm 😭😭 (not on the rich part im very much broke). and noo ☹☹ i hope the exam went better than u anticipated,, however it really do be like that sometimes and remember that one failed exam doesnt define u and you'll do better next time!!!

havent made any progress w liebestraum since my last reply bUT the outline is all finished and i have a little something in my drafts to tease it however im saving it until im at least done w 3/4 of the fic to post it bc we both know how it went the last time i posted a teaser for it 🤡

DHSJSK im glad to hear that also i think it may be bc im the first slovak person actually fluent in english to try to translate the song 😭😭😭 (yael is popular w the younger generation i think)

I mean i was stressed BECAUSE of the german i didnt just randomly bust it out bc of stress 😭😭 the lady at mcdonalds understood eng thank god but the other one did not and was rlly rude abt it telling me to get german lessons ☹ first of all i DID,,, for 6 years‼‼ second of all do i gotta learn the language of every country i visit now??? U WORK AT THE MAIN STATION OFC TOURISTS WILL BE THERE. the only german words that left my mouth that day were hallo, winston blau bitte, danke and auf wiedersehen 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i was less anxious abt vienna bc i was like i mean i learned german so i cant be THAT lost but i dont know a single word in hungarian so that might be difficult- DJSJS however if those plans do come true i will hit u up and u can send me all the tips and tricks (and also your address so we can hang out /j)

"ITS GOING" GIRLIE THE WAY I FELT THAT

not admitting yet i need a week or two more and to actually learn their names bc i still struggle with jeongwoo junghwan and jaehyuk for some reason. DO THEY HAVE TO ALL HAVE J NAMES ????? i saw only a few treasure map eps but once i stan someone new i tend to go obsessive and watch most of the stuff thats out so pray for me 😭😭😭😭 also im happy to announce to you that your boyfriend is now OUR boyfriend !!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳 hope u dont mind sharing ❤❤❤❤ you cant just expect me to see a guy with painted nails and not fall in love with him like. come on. this was given.

hope u enjoy my fic and that i dont disappoint, im def looking forward to hearing your thoughts!! also i hope u have a nice evening and weekend, love you lots xx

[apuff]

ngl if there was a guy in my class who always had his hands clenched and acted strangely and leaned away from my and seemed to be in tension id just assume he had chronic pain

i get why bella as a character is ahead in school, as it allows her to be focusing on ~interpersonal drama~ and ~misery~ rather than having to focus on learning

yaaas cemetry drive is playing

the dramaaa

bruh

this girl is like describing paradise

tbf after this she gets almost hit by a car bc of the ice but still

bellas like "ugh i got hit by a car and went in the ambulance so annoying 🙄 🙄 "

wait bella is popular now 😭

girl has EVERYTHING WHY IS SHE SO GLOOMY

dude mike is in love with her HWY DOES SHE HATE EVERYONE

i feel so bad for mike

hes actually pretty nice she just only loves special shiny vampire boy............

hmmmmm

the drama

SORRY WHAT ANOTHER BOY JUST ASKED BELLA OUT

WHY IS EVERY BOY SO INTO HERRRR

THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE

WHAT

ANOTHER FUCKIGN BOY JUST ASKED HER OUT????????

THE KID WHO CRASHED HIS CAR INTO HER ????

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

im annoyed with this writing choice but im not going to act like its not really funny

meyer deadass wrote "grrr" into her book like omg bella is just like me fr

i gotta admit this is pretty funny

first i was annoyed by the triple proposal in one day but i think that might actually be a dracula (lucy gets proposed 3 times in one day) reference sooo im less annoyed by it

the year is 2005 and making disparaging jokes about mental health is funny

OMG

BELLA GOT ASKED OUT BY EDWARD 😭

 IS THIS STILL A DRAC REF IDK

 well lucy turned it down twice and accepted the last time so her turning down 3 times and accepting last makes sense??

 idk why edwards being so wishy washy about her

i guess its that he needs to feed on her so thats why he acts rudely cause he doesnt want to give in,,,,,but he feeds on something else so his urge is satiated so he feels okay talking to her again??

anyways im sort of bummed out by how non-monstrous or magical these vamps are so far, i suppose anything could change since i'm only on like chapter 3 or something. but like. in drac the vamps are like people, but demons, scary and gross, but sexy, their bodies and age totally change when they drink blood, they have these frightening effects on the health of others, they hypnotize people, they feed on them, they turn into giant bats and dogs and even mist itself....... they can only work in the shadows (literally and figuratively), are totally nocturnal, they pick people off one by one, they sleep in boxes of their home dirt during the day, they crawl on the walls like damned lizards. they are weird asf.

 MIST???

 FORKS, RENOWNED FOR BEING WET AND FOGGY AND-DARISAY-MISTY??

 please myer do something with this..

 i get why edward wants to live here tho bc it's so wet and there's less of the sun...although im p sure in drac it's not just the literal actual sunlight but more the day in general thats bad for them....

 anyways.. i hope we get to see some crazy stuff with the vamps in twilight soon

 you now what also annoys me

 theres thsi literal 6 week timeskip

 and bellas relationship with the 2-5 people she hangs out with all day every day seems to have progressed 0 and she has no new feelings about them and doesnt care about them so she has any sort of complicated feelings about bluntly turning them down

 she only cares about edwarddddd

 this is so sinister

anyways i think the descriptions of edward are getting more boring by the second. ive been thinking more and more hes just ur average hot boy driven to angelic status by her crush on him NOT that he is unnaturally ephemerally beutiful already and shes just acknowledging that fact

please describe the way the darkness pools under his eyes and around his chin like the chiaroscuro of the old masters. please describe how his hair is thick and voluminous like a renaissance statue. please describe how he floats from place to place like a gliding angel. please stop just calling him beautiful

this is actually so scary if this happened to me id be calling the cops

i still think that sounds scary as hell but reading more i kinda understand the appeal... edward is old and scary and knows a lot, but bella is someone he cant read and she argues with him ON AN EVEN FIELD.. the power dynamics are still concerning but in the real of fiction it's a constant push-and-pull with a dangerous hot love interest. i understand the appeal. bella may be mopey but she has this fighty, independent spirit yo her. the fact that she fights edward instead of just acquiescing to him makes it less scary

HUH?? maybe i will get some of my wishes just the boring hot boy versions of them tho

blood type stuff..hmmmhmmhmmmm

HMMM

is edward gonna go shark crazy

also this sounds really illegal who just stabs childrens fingers randomly w/o their consent

what if they have hemophilia or a fear of blood or anemia or something 😭 bruh this teacher oughtta get fired

sorry bella can smell blood?? is she half vamp or smth??

okay im gonna stop it for this reblog because im getting really tired of pasting text from discord to google docs then fixing it then pasting it into tumblr then fixing it and i'm like a third of the way through my channel so i'm already afraid at how long this is going to take

i wanna read twilight just to see if its as bad as everyone says it is

[t-lostinworlds]

no, your likes aren't public, but i saw that you did like it when i was going to block everyone who interacted with that rude post and i was just shocked that you, someone i genuinely respected, did. you can rail against me being a 'bad' friend all you want, but i don't get why you can't see how that MIGHT be a little upsetting especially when you've made friendships over this fandom?

you can say the post wasn't that serious all you want, but genuinely, this about the same person who just a few months ago said that he was dealing with anxiety over seeing the mean crap people say about him online, and that WAS mean crap. there's just SO many better ways to express that you want him to work rather than calling him 'fucking pathetic'. like that is just wild to me and two faced as hell when no one here had any problem with him taking some time off when he was recently at home.

it just truly sucks that so few of the people i'm friends with here have the maturity to realize that it's just simply not a big deal if he's in a relationship. of all the things for yall to be mad at him over, THAT really takes the cake. anyways, i absolutely stand by what i said. aiming that amount of vitriol to a dude who has done NOTHING wrong is making this fandom just miserable and i truly cannot believe it happens over and over again every time he's seen with her. it's toxic and i'm just so frustrated you can't see that.

honestly, how will i even know who you are when you're sending me asks ON ANON. bro, my dms are open to EVERYONE. literally anyone can send me a message whether i follow them or not. i have that open so people can reach out to me any time they want whoever they might be but you choose to send me this as an ask over ANON. do you know what message that sends me? you want this public. you won't say this shit to my face bc then it's just you and me having a conversation. but you want to let all the people know how much of a 'horrible person' i am so then you can have more anons to back you up. bc power in numbers right? until someone is driven off this site? what kind of friend does that make you?

and all because i liked a post. it's actually funny how you got all of those claims from me liking ONE SINGLE POST. you're accusing me of attacking tom, of berating his whole entire being, of disregarding his mental health when all i did was like a post that said they missed the days when tom was seen as an individual. and i honestly don't see where your problem with that is. why is it such a crime for people to want to support his craft and his craft alone? and fine, the language was a bit offhanded but i've literally seen people call him WORSE THINGS on actual sites he can SEE. hell i saw another post in the tags that spoke meaner things about him which i don't even agree with. but me liking a post that deadass wasn't so fucking deep and was literally one single sentence compared to a whole article is suddenly a testament to my whole being and how awful i am? why are you acting like i've made such a disgusting take when I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN POST. it's such a crime to fucking like things without it having a deeper meaning nowadays huh?

i honestly really want you to show me all the times i made a big deal out of this relationship. or me being mad over it bc it honestly feels like you're just dumping this all on me just to get your frustration towards other people out. bc by this point, you're just putting words in my mouth. is it bc i'm not reblogging stalkerish photos of them? is it bc i have said NOTHING about it instead cooing and awwing at every picture? is that why you immediately came to a conclusion that i have such a problem with him being in a relationship bc i am not waving a big banner that they look so darn cute together?

and you know what, i wasn't going to add this but fuck it. i'm pissed now. it's so fucking rich of you to keep talking about his mental health and how i'm causing so much damage to it when i have said nothing bad about this guy in my own posts or made my own takes on a site he has no idea exists when you're not even stopping to think about what you are doing to my mental health by coming to my own safe space guns blazing accusing me of shit i didn't even do. a bit hypocritical if you ask me. or maybe i just need to be rich and famous for you to actually care about that too.

[cartoonsaint]

Mr. Gordon Freeman for the ask game? 👉👈

ooo! i'll answer for both Gordons, but my thoughts about the original are relatively shallow whoops

Canon Gordon Freeman

FAV CANON TRAIT: i see his work w teleportation as a metaphor for his drive :) he WILL go from point A to point B, however it can possibly be done. doesn’t always take into account ”common sense” limitations, which is sort of awesome for science but not for personal health (thank god for the suit). sometimes clever puzzle solving is the answer, but sometimes the most efficient way is to go straight through the goddamn wall.

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: omg, that he’s in an apocalyptic first-person shooter w zombies? SO not my thing, but somehow i ended up here anyways. mostly i think he deserves a hot shower and cozy pajamas and not to be covered w blood.

FANON PET PEEVE: i’m baffled by characterizations of him that don’t take into account the facts that he is capable of great violence as well as dorky playfulness (the snark idle animation! vent races!). also i have blocked SO many people for being weird about shipping?? like HL2’s freemance thing kinda squicked me out too but damn dudes, come on

Gordos Feetman

FAV CANON TRAIT: he's SO concerned about how he appears to other people while simultaneously being the LEAST SELF-AWARE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, my GOSH. man has no IDEA how to talk to people: comes striding into Black Mesa like he's the one in charge (“move! move, i’m running late”), rude about the kind and friendly Dr. Coolatta, overly familiar w every scientist (even when Bubby flat out tells him to shut the fuck!), when questioned by benrey goes "i'm perfectly okay! i am perfectly healthy, and smart," like that's anything close to what a normal person would say, ever. then the first chance he gets to actually sit down with the Science Team over coffee he goes straight to, "you guys got families? ...what was your childhood like?" hello? 24 hours later he asks "what're your guys' hopes and dreams?" HELLO?? buddy the unspoken social rules... my god. he does not know them

plus his "nobody likes me. nobody likes me! i've dealt with that my whole life." like... aw dude. thank goodness the Science Team is full of weirdos too. they can jive with his off-beat social skills and seem to get that at his heart, Gordon Freeman is just a pretty nice semi-loser who wants to goof off and help take care of the people important to him ;-; ...and who will also commit murder at the slightest suggestion from others that it's fine

LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: i wish he'd been more consistent about joshua! wayne has mentioned retconning the framed picture as just gordon being a nervous fuckin weirdo, but :( on my first watch-through i was like "hm. something about the way gordon tries to shepherd the Science Team with a weirdly optimistic, know-better attitude despite the fact that they all totally ignore him feels familiar..." and then he was like "i have a little kid!" and i went "OH NO WONDER," bc at the time i was also a 27yo spending a lot of time w a small child who preferred not to listen to my somewhat hysterical requests to not Do the Thing.

so like i'm fond of joshua's existence. and i get that trying to fit him into hl2vrai would be difficult but... plz wayne don't kill him. not again D8

FANON PET PEEVE: sometimes artists draw him like he’s 45, which is odd to me, but to be fair his model does make him look terrible for a 27yo. otherwise i wish there was more exploration of how much of a fuckin WEIRDO he is, bc despite being relatively normal compared to the Science Team he’s NOT normal compared to like anyone else. and i‘d love to see more of gordon struggling and benrey having to learn to help, rather than things only going one way. and more of him goofing off, even in awful situations! like i’m fascinated by him messing with the ribs of a dead dude on the ground next to benrey like “ooo i’m gonna touch em haha... u ever been to chili’s” buddy u r NOT normal <3

OK! thank you for asking about the gordons, it is fun to stir up my feelings about these characters and try to synthesize them this way :) anyone interested in my favetrait/leastfavetrait/fanonpetpeeve for other characters can send me an ask if they like. thanks :D <3!

[syubub]

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.