#bc I hate the thought of not being able to escape on my own until it all ends next tuesday

[whisperofthewaves]

considering my mental state three hours before the days-long wedding event starts, I don't think I'd have survived being upper class in previous centuries when you had to attend balls and constantly call on people.

[s-4pphics]

soul ties. part I (e.w.)

SYNOPSIS: a product of brokenness. WORD COUNT: 13.4K WARNINGS: ellie’s a painter/art dealer, heavy angst[oc is suicidal and has dissociative episodes + abusive parents/SEXUAL ABUSE(nothing explicitly written but aluded to) + patriarchy/men being predatory/traditionalist households + mentions of cheating + alcoholism + disordered eating/self-harm(cuticle picking) + thoughts of murder + mommy issues/daddy issues + parental grief + homophobia + more patriarchy but with dykes + unhealthy relationships with sex(coping) + brief mention of masturbation + sexual tension + making out + fondling + slapping + DUBCON + just matching freaks to avoid trauma], miscommunication, just 2 socially inept crash outs lol  A/N: hellloo lol. fixed plot bc im venting… s been a very rough few months. i was convinced i lost my very acute skill so uhhh consider this a test. uhh what else… idk when i’ll be back bc im now a piano player #NEWFOUNDESCAPISM LOL.  suggestion: this technically could b read alone but if u care ab context read this first. then this. that is all LOL byeee :p hi taggies we back: @dyk3ang3l @acidblum @mellifluousgirll @elliesatchel @callmewhenyoukan @natgf123 @elliesstella @spaceforescape @floridaopal @lonelyfooryouonly @ellies-converse @amiorca @darkerstarsstuff

fuck the bitch that made this game.  dont buy his shit.

aid links from my inbox: one, two, three, four

What to do, what to do… 

Ellie is a wreck. An agitated, craving, mess. 

What to do… Love your wife, fuck the daylights out of your wife, kill your wife before she kills you… What to do… 

It can’t be that hard to hide a body. Is it still murder if it’s self-defense? Ellie’s sure the next bath you run for her will either be filled with bleach or result in her being forced underwater until she’s lifeless. There are lots of people willing to get their hands dirty for her if that’s the case. Not a trace of you or her would be left and she’d finally be able to escape with only the clothes on her back. The weightlessness in her pockets wouldn’t move her in any way. Nothing compares to freedom. What a suffocating life she lives. 

The guest room mattress becomes less and less plush every time she lays in it. The sheets are itchier and cold and she’s stuck pondering with each swirl of the ceiling fan, wet hair wrapped in a bath towel; restless, fidgety, and honey-like ache in the pit of her stomach, mind warped with lecherous thoughts of her wife that she despises but not as much, her supposed life partner and fuck, how did you two get here…

Stuck with a tension so thick it permeates your home; if you’d even call it that. You’re both successfully trapped between your own walls; Elegant windows take the place of rusted, metal bars that confine you from the life you both dreamed of before all this; one soft and doting and colorful, one where your light isn’t dulled. 

Why does she feel so guilty, suddenly? You’re not lovers, and neither in love, so why does her chest ache with every glance she steals when you’re unassuming? The pain that’s always etched on your face, and if not, in your eyes — fills her with regret. She would abandon you for days — weeks at a time, not at all concerned about what you might be experiencing to rid herself of shame. And to think that you were merely a younger version of your mother; villainous and cruel and greedy when… when you’ve barely spoken. She finds herself, unfortunately, reminiscing on how bushy-tailed you were after marriage. So eager to please and prick her mind and annoyingly mechanical. You cooked at the same time everyday. Cleaned, did both your laundry, sunbathed, swam in your pool. She hated how rehearsed your lifestyle was; it reminds her of the worst parts of her childhood. When her mother was alive. So, Ellie chose to step out on you the second you took her last name; ravaged other women, released her anger and desires on strangers when she should’ve had you beneath, above, on your knees for her. Where has that craving to harm you gone? For months, she’s ached for your suffering to mirror hers, but now… What’s happening to her? What’s happened to you? 

Ellie believes you’ve lost it, and somehow she’s found herself chasing that unforeseen part of you; unfiltered and angry and wild. This manufactured doll your mother molded you into is shattering at the core and Ellie craves to see more of you. Guilty. As hurt as you were, that night was the most alive she’s seen you be. You shouted and cried and tore at the seams, desperate for someone to hear you, and Ellie did. Loud and clear. She saw you for what you are. Mangled from the inside out, entirely hopeless. Just like she is. An unspeakable link that binds the two of you.

Soul ties. 

She shook and pleaded for you to enter the bathroom and see her battered against the shower wall with a hand between her legs and your name dripping from her lips, but the knob never twisted. Her orgasms were unsatisfactory, and she accepted with irritation that it was because you weren’t there. She ignored the throbbing between her legs and vacated the bathroom. Ellie, with legs that trembled, found you wrapped in satin and snoring. They sounded like whistles. 

She stood for a while, just watching you twitch and wiggle in your rest, eyes glazing to the space beside you that could easily fit another body. The sheets are already warm from where you lay. The two of you have never slept in the same room, let alone bed. 

Her feet carried her out. Silently left the room with an unfamiliar ache in her chest. 

Her mind made an enemy out of you because that’s what you are. When she thought her life couldn’t get any worse, you appeared and destroyed everything in her path. Left her world in ruins. Disrupted her pattern. You’re an enemy and deserve to hurt. 

Aren’t you? Don’t you? 

Everything is unclear. Ellie hasn’t been this conflicted since she was 15. She wishes she could sleep forever so she wouldn’t be forced to think. 

If she had any sense left, she would paint her agony away. In the past, her mind would shut down with every splash of color on a canvas to compensate for the darkness that conjured in her mind. She refrains from that now, though. She’s horny; scared she’ll start imagining what your pussy looks like and sketch it all over the bedroom walls. That’d be too much; a boundary that will remain untouched.

But her brain knows she’s not a good person; she can’t help but imagine how gorgeous your pussy is because you are and she’s known that since the beginning, the second she saw you drenched in white. Drenched in sorrow. 

She clutches your wedding band in her palm. 

What to do… what to do… 

Birds are artists. 

They never fail to sing every morning; sonnets aimed to awaken life as sun rays spill from behind mountains. You've always appreciated their tunes whenever you were pulled from a hollow rest, no longer surrounded by darkness. 

Maybe it was the routine your mother set for you from young. You were 9 when she first coddled your drowsiness as she shook you awake at five in the morning; the early bird catches the worm, a saying you naively assumed as preparation for the day, for your homeschooling. An energy booster, possibly. Motivation. Something to get you through. 

How stupid could a child be? 

You were 12 when your cycle started. You were 12 when you realized that your mother never envisioned actual birds and worms like you had. Your mother has games she plays and she cheats. She’s had you on a leash for the past decade; the scars around your neck are forever a reminder of the hell you’ve endured under her hand. It took no effort on her part to be uncaring of your suffering, and somehow that aches more than anything else. 

Even more than the existence of him. A demon walking.

Animals aren’t like your family. Birds aren’t. The minute specks of sunlight begin, their job starts, and they complete it happily without compensation or praise or the slightest acknowledgment. Everyone wakes, and they fly to anywhere to wake the next. 

But wealth is dirty. Wealth makes people dirty. They swindler and lie and experience life with a vacancy that’ll never be filled with anything but greed. Your mother trained you for years to accept whatever was given as long as you were taken care of. Play your part, she’d say. It took you years to learn her strategy — and unlearn yourself — but you’re here. Married. Successful by association. Rich. Unhappy. Unloved. 

Birds guided you. They never shy from their duty, and you hadn’t either… 

But you’re human. You crack and cry and scream and you hate. You despise so strongly that you lash out and everything in your path becomes victimized. Sometimes it gets to a point where you crave blood. You want to drown in it, drink it until you’re sick. Your soul is dead. Everyones’ should die with yours. 

You don’t know who should go first. Your mother, your stepfather, or your wife. 

You want to swallow Ellie whole—

“Good morning.” 

You’ve never seen Ellie not dolled up. She clearly just awakened with her wrinkled MILFS ONLY shirt and sporadic hair. Timidity doesn’t suit Ellie. You're so used to seeing her exasperated. Her weary eyes don’t meet yours. You should tell her your plans to adopt a hummingbird. Or maybe you shouldn’t. She might laugh at you.

“Hello.” 

“… Hi.” She seems like she wants to say something. You sip your coffee. 

���My dad called.” 

You hum around the rim of your mug. “Woke you up?” 

She merely shrugs. “I uh… did anyone tell you about tomorrow?” 

“Of course not.” 

You don’t expect Ellie to flinch at your tone. You weren’t that sharp, were you?

You might’ve been because she slows her speech. Like she’s approaching a wounded animal, “Dad’s hosting a dinner. Corporate bullshit but we have to go.” 

“Why.” 

She squints at you. “Why what.” 

“Why do we have to go.” Your mug lands on the table harder than expected. 

“To make mommy and daddy look good.” She sneers while approaching her seat, “Did you forget?” 

“I just thought they wouldn’t want two dykes contaminating their spaces anymore.” 

Ellie snorts. “They don’t. Companies do. Gets their cocks hard. Two gay daughters, how progressive!” She mocks and plops on the chair directly across from you, wiping at her eyes. Your throat dries when you notice her wedding band. She hardly ever wears it. You don’t know where you left yours. Since when does she care to wear it? “They’ll do anything they can to get on their good side. They’re… merging organizations or whatever the fuck he said.” 

She swallows. Shrugs uncaringly, “We going?” Her eyes watch your hands squeeze your mug. 

“Are we.” 

She regards your cup with caution. Does she think you’ll throw it? The thought nearly makes you laugh. 

“Yes.” She answers. 

“Okay.” 

Your wife finally looks up and stands, nose upturned, “Okay? That’s all you got?” 

“Yes. Okay.” You sip silently. Your foot taps on hardwood. 

“Excited to see your family? You like ‘em now?” 

Excited is laughable. 

“No, I don’t.” 

The sudden calamity from your wife confuses you. She tugs at the strands that flop on her head in agitation. They look soft as they bounce with her pacing. You’ll never feel them. Or you might later. Who knows with her. Who knows with you. 

Ellie’s still talking. Her arms flail like she’s annoyed by you. You’re not sure why. You’re following. You’re allowing her to guide. To control. That’s the entire point of this. That’s why you’re going to dinner with her. She told you to go and that’s it. 

Play your part play your part play yo—

You don’t remember much of anything; the past, the present, but you recall what Ellie sounds like when she’s angry, whether it’s at you, her father, the woman her father is fucking or married to or whatever. If you’d listen, you’ll discover what ticked her off, but your ears ring too loud. Much louder than her screaming. 

You sip your coffee silently. Ellie leaves you at the dining table with a slam of a door. 

You think it’s the first floor’s guest room. 

The sun sets. Ellie can’t remember the last time she’s been home this long. 

She hates the weekends. The gallery is never open and she can’t drown herself in deals. She hates being home when you are. Why the fuck are you always here? You don’t have friends, a job, a life outside of this goddamn house? There’s a sinking in her stomach at the thought of your isolation, but she ignores it. Tries to ignore it.

… Can’t really ignore it. How pestering. You’re a pest. 

She knows nothing about you, only bits of your past expressed through photographs at your mother’s or outbursts in your bedroom. Your stepfather is fucking creepy and your mother’s glare is killer, but that’s about it. Still, she doesn’t think she can hate your parents more than you. 

You’re so fucking weird. Just like them. Unforgiving and unchaste one day then apathetic the next. How the fuck can one communicate with a person like that? 

That feeling in her chest again. Sharp and annoying. Try try try, it says. Begs from her. 

Try and do what? Do fucking what—

It took Ellie 3 seconds to unlock the guest room door and fly down the stairs when a crash rings from the first floor. Glass clatters and you sound in pain and oh fuck did someone break in

There’s red all over the kitchen floor but it’s not blood it’s red wine. Red wine red wine it’s not blood— 

You’re on the kitchen floor surrounded by green shards and dressed so pretty. Hair coiled and free and your face is done up and you’re wearing flowers. There’s flowers all over and your skin shines and why do you have heels on like a play doll?

Ellie palms at the scattered racing of her heart. Everything’s fine, her brain blares, She tripped, that’s it. Clears her throat. Rustles her hair to appear normal. 

She’s not dead. 

“… You good?” 

An unsteady hand rises to throw her a thumbs up. Your body wobbles when you attempt to stand. Ellie ushers to the counter to slide on her slippers, tells you to stop when your palm nearly plants on a shard. 

“Move back before you hurt yourself.” Ellie takes a quick lap around the kitchen for the broom and dustpan. Finds you just as quickly so you don’t accidentally slice an artery. 

Your lashes flutter and her heart follows suit, taking in the mess. “I think I fucked up.” You croak.

Hearing you curse is always odd. She huffs, “It’s fine. Can you stand?” 

Your head shakes and your bottom lip juts. “My… my shoes…”

You slowly plop onto your bottom and rest your back against the dishwasher. You struggle to grip your buckles to pull and slide the strap and Ellie remembers why she hates heels. She sweeps the glass away from you and realizes she should’ve mopped first because the bristles are soaked and streaking the clean parts of the crystal porcelain. When was the last time she cleaned? The maids always do. Sometimes you help. 

You look stunned when Ellie moves to squat in front of you. Jumps back when she adjusts your ankle. 

Her palms hang in surrender, “I’m gonna help you. Relax. Do your knees hurt?” 

You landed right on them. They should. You don’t disarm, eyes guarded and body locked tight, but you shrug. It’s good enough for Ellie. 

She unravels the buckles around both your ankles and tosses them next to you and you just watch. Ellie’s glances are quick and flitting, but she follows the traces of her hands; the sharp inhales whenever her fingers brush against the skin of your leg. You’re not as close as you were last night but she can smell you. Her chest is throbbing. You look like you’re about to cry but you’re drunk. It’s meaningless. Drunk people cry. 

Try try try try 

“Can you stand now?” She croaks. 

It takes a second for you to register her inquiry, but you shrug, and she sighs. When Ellie stands, both her hands extend out to you, but you don’t accept them; She gets jittery under your scrutinizing gaze after nearly a minute passes. Her throat dries and her face burns when you brush her hands away; standing on your own is an unstable journey, but you do, back against the counter to stabilize yourself. You look ill. Your brain must be jumbled. 

“Can you get upstairs on your own?” 

“You talk a fucking lot. Shut up.”  

The corner of Ellie’s mouth rises, but she says nothing. Gives you space to move. 

You take one step, then two more, then your eyes shut and your throat jumps. Uh oh.

“Oh shit, come—“

Ellie guides you to the garbage can near the front of the counter, away from the glass, and you dry heave. Liquid splatters inside the can and Ellie hates this so fucking much. The sounds are enough to make her own stomach lurch. It’s been a while since she’s been around someone this drunk. 

But she holds your waist so you don’t faceplant into your own vomit. 

“Get it out,” She hums with a grimace, “You’re fine.” An I gotcha almost rolls off her tongue but she catches it. She glides a comforting hand over your curved spine because you’re drunk and you won’t remember such gestures in the morning. She prefers it that way. 

You’re not gagging anymore so Ellie removes herself from you. Until she hears a whimper. And a sob so quiet she assumes you’re trying to mask it. Drunk people cry; she’s seen it countless times. Why does that seering feeling spark in her chest for what felt like the billionth time today? Fucking try, for fucks sake! 

“Let’s… let’s get you—“

“I wish I was dead.” 

Your prayer is hollow. Not even sad despite your tears. So, so empty. Ellie’s seen this before, experienced that nothingness countless times, but despite it all, she never learned how to console. Hell, she barely knows how to self-soothe without falling victim to her dark temptations. Even her paint brushes can’t eliminate the constant ache she feels. She just watches the tremble of your shoulders from behind. 

“I really don’t wanna go tomorrow.” You whisper. 

Ellie sighs. There’s no other choice. You know the stakes; follow your families’ commands or lose everything at the drop of a hat. They’ll leave you both on the streets to rot with no remorse if they please, replace the two of you with two normal children. Het children that won’t deviate. You’re both on thin ice as it is. Mainly because of Ellie. She can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble.

“I…” 

I’ll be with you the entire time. I don’t like being around those cunts either. 

“It’ll go by quickly.” She settles. 

“I hate when p-people look at me.” 

“Me too.” 

“I wish my family loved me.” 

Ellie’s softer now. Only slightly. 

“Yeah…” 

A tug in her ribcage. Try. Please, try. 

“Me too.” 

The pounding beneath your skull wakes you quicker than the birds. You shove your face in the pillow you rest on. 

The devil tells you to check the time so you do. The bedside clock says noon, meaning a new day, meaning it’s Saturday meaning you’ll die. Maybe not physically but mentally. You’re so drained and you’ve barely opened your eyes; the idea of leaving bed alone is enough to exhaust you. Your wrists and legs ache like fucking hell on top of that. 

You make fists with both hands. Repeatedly clench and unclench. The weight is different on your wedding finger. Heavier. You haven’t seen your ring since yesterday… or a few days ago — you’re not really sure. You must’ve found it in your drunken stupor. Just when you hoped to never see it again. 

The universe will always remind you who you are. 

If you stand you’ll vomit but your phone is ringing from the drawer you stuck it in weeks ago. How is it not dead? You know your mom’s calling. You hate that she is… 

The ringing stops and you thank the heavens. 

You curse them when it starts up again. 

The drawer slides open with reluctance. The ringing sounds 20 times louder. You retrieve your device blindly and your throat snaps shut when you speak. 

“You rang.” 

“Did your… partner tell you about tonight.” 

Hard and distant. That’s how she speaks to you. Your heart cracks. 

Your mom already knows Ellie did. She loves to bother you with nonsense. You don’t think she’s ever called Ellie your wife. 

“Yes.” 

“You’re attending.” 

“Yes.” 

“Good.” 

“Is that all.” 

“Your gown was delivered here. Come by well before 8 to get ready.” 

And she hangs up. Just like that. Always. She’s never told you to have a nice day, or to rest well, or that she loves you, at the minimum. And if she had, you don’t remember any of it. There’s a lot you force yourself to forget. 

The selfish part of you disregards the burning of your eyes to stare at your phone — low battery and… no messages. No texts, no phone calls from anyone except your mother, no likes on Instagram because your mom scared you into not making one when you were a teenager. No one cares about you. People care about your wife, though. Maybe because she’s talented; she’s certainly not nice. 

Your darkest memories are always the most prominent. 

Your phone drops to the floor and you don’t reach for it. You just pray to sleep again. 

Tonight will be interesting. 

The ride to your mother’s is silent. 

At least she chauffeured the two of you. Ellie can be scary when she drives. You’ve never been in a car with her, but she did ram into a lamppost on the sidewalk a few nights after your wedding. 

Your wife is already dressed despite the party being hours away. She sits right next to you in all black; in a trenchie and turtleneck and slacks and loafers with fur and gold jewelry. When she descended the staircase, you gawked when she wasn’t looking. So simple, but she had your heart fluttering when she’d asked, ready? You’re still in your sleep shorts, teeth unbrushed and starving. When was the last time you ate? 

What an embarrassment — you’re an embarrassment, but you can’t bring yourself to care anymore. If only newly wed you could see herself now. 

You swallow a lump when you feel eyes on the side of your face, but yours remain glued out the window. The closer you get to your mom’s, the faster your mind starts to shut down. Everything passes you by in a blur. 

By the time the gates with your father’s initials come into view, your thoughts go silent, only filled with the calming images of nature and the song of birds. Your only escapism. 

The only way you’ll make it out of here in one piece. 

Ellie! Darling! We’ve missed you! Give us a smile! 

Ellie! Ellie, look this way! 

Ellie, where’s your wife? 

She wishes she knew. You’d barely made it into your mother’s home before getting swept down the hall by 4 other people who poked at your appearance. Ellie didn’t even get to give your mom the passive, spine-chilling hi, mom like old times before another SUV came to whisk her away from that hell hole. Her dad always knows somehow. 

She hates being at your mom’s; it’s stifling and quiet and the aura is dark. Like mother, like house or whatever the fuck. 

She scowls when the bombarding questions redirect to you. Some concerning, some sarcastic, some raunchy — those get under her skin in particular — and she can’t stop fiddling with her ring. Her chest tugs tugs tugs. 

Trouble in paradise? 

You were caught leaving the bar with another woman on your arm a few weeks ago! How’d your wife react to that? 

She doesn’t know. She’s never home to see you break. 

Guilt ate at her when the door of your mother’s mansion shut behind her, but she disregards it now. You shouldn’t be forced to listen to their guised jabs; You get enough of that from everyone in your life. She hopes you’ll go through the back entrance when you arrive. 

When will you get here? 

Ellie’s never made an event appearance without you. You’d pose and fidget and display awkward affection so that they’d buy your love a little bit, then enter the gathering as two separate hearts, riddled and torn, never to cross paths until the bustle is over and it’s time to go home. 

Finally, security moves and barricades her until she gets past the 20 foot gate and treads the steps. The flashing cameras are still blinding from behind. 

The tended garden is the first thing she notices. Wide and green. The daisy and rose bushes are no longer tangled with weeds and surrounded by dead grass and gnats. How could Joelene not see that and be vengeful? Ellie and her dad may not be close anymore, but she knows him; maybe even more than he knows himself. He still misses her mom after everything, and chooses to express it through her favorite hiding spot. Keeps the flowers that bloom and trims the ones that don’t so she lives through them. Ellie hardly remembers a time when her mother wasn’t covered in dirty overalls and sunburnt. 

She manages to hold it together when the large double doors open. The violins suddenly sound like nails on wood. 

Voices fade into nothing. People are outside your car. Light hurts so terribly. 

One second you’re here, the next you’re not. Your mom and her husband sit across with twined arms and the lace from your dress is itchy and you wanna disappear. When you blink, you’re gone. You only exist on this plain if your eyes are open. 

Something hard and leather brushes against your ankle, scratches against your stockings, slow and snake-like. You know what it is, who it is, and you freeze, eyes locked onto your mother. No matter your hopelessness, there’s still a young girl in you that wishes your mother would defend, act on anger, be disgusted at minimum. At least when his crimes are done in secret you can’t blame her for not knowing. 

But you’re here and she’s here and he’s here. A shared secret between the three of you. 

His shoe doesn’t halt on your leg. Your mother never looks at you. 

Birds and songs and sonnets. You’re a bird and you can fly against the strongest winds. Music is your guide and you follow the clouds. 

Your fingers twist together in your lap and the black interior of the car glows red. If only… he’s not the only one with sick intentions. If only. 

You’re flying you’re flying you can fly and there’s someone who’ll love you gently. They’re out there somewhere and you��ll find them and they’ll find you like every trial was worth it. 

Patience. That’s all you need. Just be patient. 

The rest of the car ride is unbeknownst to you. Next thing you know, your door is being opened and two men await your entry at the glass door. 

Champagne is good. Tequila is better. The two mixed is hell. 

Ellie’s throat burns and her mind swirls but she plays it off well enough. Mingles with pensive, old bastards while their daughters’ gawk at her with bright-eyed curiosity and you haven’t arrived yet. 

She lost her dad somewhere in the night. He greeted her briefly upon her arrival, pointed out the important men of the night, called your mother a selfish bitch, then walked off with his mistress by his side. Ellie’s eyes keep meeting the back door from the living room. 

Where are you? 

“Ellie!”

She downs the rest of her chute and guards her agitation with a grin. Shakes the hand of… 

What the fuck was this dude’s name? 

“It’s an honor! Your art is incredible! I’ve truly—“

—Fucking Ronald? Reginald? … Ronald might be it—

“—Your father, ya know, he’s an interesting man, incredibly smart! I’ve never—“

Her dad gave her a run-down of the … merging or whatever the fuck but what the fuck did he say and holy shit, is she sweating? The man’s handshake threw her off, frankly; almost snapped her wrist in two. Fucking old piece of shit. More business jargon that she pretends to understand and care so much about because it’s a show after all. All cheers and stiff laughter. 

“And your wife! By God, what a looker!”

Her jaw clenches. Where are you where are you where are you

“What we’d give, I mean, c’mon!” Men that pass laugh with him and it’s taking everything in Ellie not to smash this glass over his head. One quick swing and it’s over. For him and her. How promising.

“Where is she anyway? You two didn’t come together?” 

“She um, she’s with her parents right now. They’ll be here.” She jerks her chin toward the entrance. 

“How lucky are you. Treat her like the star she is!” It looks like the shithead’s leaving, but not before taunting, “Holler when she arrives, will ya?” 

And just like that, he leaves Ellie to simmer. Three deep breaths. A man in a suit and tray filled with champagne waltzes passed her and she snags two glasses. Downs the first in one thick swallow before another clinks with hers. 

Why does everyone keep fucking with her? 

“Cheers.” 

Ellie doesn’t need to look to know who it is. She scoffs. “Sounds like you’re having fun.” 

Jolene stands next to her, shoulders slouched and dress glowing under the chandelier. She arches a dark brow, “Who wouldn’t? Men are the most entertaining when they’re on ego trips.” 

“Same goes for my dad?” She snips, and Jolene shocks her with a smile. 

“Meh.” 

“Why are you here.” 

“I just told you—“

“No, where are you here.” Ellie gestures between them, “Why’re you talking to me right now?” 

Jolene downs her drink and shrugs, “My attempts at bonding. On a scale of 1 to 10, how shit were they?” 

“900. Leave me the fuck alone.” Before Ellie can run, a hand clamps down on her wrist. 

“I know—“ The woman rushes, “I know we don’t have the best relationship, but I’m not—“

Ellie almost corrects her out of pettiness; They don’t have a relationship, period. There’s no best or worst. But her sudden desperation halts her. 

“—the enemy. There’s not a lot for us in these spaces. I just wanted to try and establish something. Anything. Between us. It can be so lonely without a real support system.”

Ellie hates the direction her heart turns her mind. Suddenly you’re there and you’re crying and clawing at your chest and Ellie just watches like she did that night. So powerless. So empty. 

But Jolene isn’t you. She chooses to be selfish. Yours comes from self preservation and nothing else. 

Ellie snatches her hand back and throws her the deadliest stare. “You don’t know shit about being lonely. You’re the one who gave up everything you had to fuck my dad when my mom wasn’t looking. How much did you care about her loneliness then? Hm?” 

The timing was perfect, really. 15 year old Ellie watched her parents get into one of their most abhorrent arguments; her dad leaves first, then her mom, then only one of them returns, and it was not her mother. Imagine her shock when a news reporter confirmed that her mother’s body had been thrown in a garbage bag and left in a dumpster to rot. It only took two weeks to mourn before he was marrying another woman. 

Nobody cared that her mother had been shot or stabbed or gutted. She was just a woman married to a successor who raised a deviant child. 

Ellie forces herself to not point fingers, though. Anyone could’ve killed her, she always reminds herself; to keep her from going fucking crazy. But timing… 

How telling is time. 

Jolene’s eyes widen and her grip weakens. Ellie takes that as an escape before she has a breakdown in front of the caviar platter. 

She barely takes a step before she collides with a body. 

Funny. 

She bumped right into a star that shines a royal blue. The woman of the hour, for sure. In her mind, at least.

“Sorry.” You whisper.

“You’re fine. All me.” Ellie says lowly as she takes you in, and you do the same to her. Shy, but yearnful glances. Glossed lips tightly sealed and brows tense. Your dress shimmers and holds you snug and she feels guilty for staring at your curvature. She’s suddenly hyper aware of the vultures that disguise themselves as men and she has an instinct to hide you. And your ring is on. The thumping in her chest picks up. Only slightly. 

“It’s great to see you again.” Jolene says shakily from beside Ellie and she almost loses it before a grating voice interrupts. 

“You, as well. And your husband is…?” 

Your mother. And her lap dog wagging his tail beside her. What a bitch. Both of them. 

Your stepdad says something and you inhale sharply and no one notices but Ellie. She studies you carefully. You look like a frightened cat with a frilled tail as he speaks. Claws out, not because you’re ferocious, but so, so scared. She glances at your stepdad; greasy smile while he ogles at Jolene; what a nasty son of a bitch. 

Ellie whispers to you, “Is everything o—“

“Joel! Man of the hour! How are—“

“Where’s the bathroom again?” You whisper back. 

Ellie takes your hand in hers and flees while the family’s distracted, leading you down a hallway that’s way too long with lights too bright. 

She gestures towards the door. “It’s… This is it. One of ‘em at least.” 

“… Thank—“

“What’s the matt—“ 

“I’m fine.” 

“You look like you’ve seen a fucking ghost. Did that piece of shit say something to you?” Ellie glances to make sure no listeners are hiding in the shadows. 

The widest smile grows on your face as you laugh, hearty and loud with your head thrown back. Ellie stares in confusion. 

“Oh, Ellie! You’re so silly,” She jumps when your hands hold her cheeks. You’re fucking freezing and they tremble. Your eyes are a dark void. 

You lean in closer, lips right against her mouth and they part slightly on instinct. She’s concerned and should ask more questions, but your skin is so soft. Are you gonna kiss her, she wonders? You haven’t kissed since your wedding; your breath hits her mouth and her tongue swipes her lips. Her eyes flutter shut and she aches to touch you—

“Save a seat for me, love? Please?” 

It happens so fast; the frost of you is gone and the bathroom door slams shut while an elderly woman fondly whispers, “young love,” as she walks by. Ellie only nods with a rigid curl of her lips, throat cinched too tightly to swallow. 

You puzzle her. She’s tempted to wait for you, to ensure you make it back safely without bombardment, but then 

“Ellie! Why didn’t you call me! Your wife made it safely, I see!” 

A hand claps on her shoulder while men laugh from the side, boisterous and predatory and so wide their fangs show. Ellie’s sick and a war rages within her. 

“Your father sent me to find you! It’s time to eat!” 

She sends them a weak smile. She rushes away from the door and they follow close behind. 

Anything to lure them away from you. 

Attendees have dwindled, only Ellie and her family and you and yours and some CEOs that are really getting on her fucking nerves. But you’ve eaten, thank God. She can breathe a little. 

Only a bit, though. You’re putting on a fucking show and it’s scaring her; Even her dad seems impressed. Charmed by you. Clinking glasses and telling jokes and smiling. Did your mom hold you at gunpoint before you got here? How much did you drink? Not much from what she’s seen. 

That one fucker from earlier — Raymon or Robert or whatever the fuck — keeps leaning over the table whenever you do. Peeping at your chest, probably. She wishes these steak knives were sharper. 

“So! Our young couple,” says Old Bitch with a Combover and wiggly brows, “When are we getting those heirs?” 

You cough uncomfortably and Ellie squirms in her seat. Your mother scoffs, “Two women can’t have children—“

Said Old Bitch shrugs, “Well, not biologically—“

“My point exactl—“

Ellie’s father cuts in with a tense grin, “When they get to that point, we’ll discuss their options. There’s… many nowadays, evidently.” 

Neither you or Ellie interrupt, but she notices you’ve moved closer to her. Inched your seat a bit. You squeeze your hands so hard in your lap she’s scared they’ll shatter where they lay. You’re not smiling anymore. 

Her dad and your mom are subtle with their blows at one another; snarky with brutal stares, unremarkable to strangers, but you and Ellie know. When dinner ends, you’ll both be caught in their crossfire. 

“There’s no shame in me wanting my grandchildren to be by blood. I shouldn’t have to go shopping for an heir.” Your mother hisses. 

“Sh—“ Joel huffs with disgust, “Shopping for an heir? That’s what you think adoption entails?” 

“Does it not?” Your mother’s tone rises. 

Reggie, Rory, or Russell interjects with a dismissive wave, “C’mon, you too! No need to argue. I’m sure girls like them will be fine with obtaining children! It might be more… complicated, I will say!” 

“May I be excused?” You croak, and Ellie straightens. 

“Why? So you can wallow about dying childless?” 

The table silences. No laughter, no wittiness. Completely still. That wasn’t from your mother. Ellie doesn’t remember the last time she’s heard your stepdad speak so clearly. Her blood thrashes beneath her skin so harshly that her tongue unties. There’s a darkness in her that whispers, “grab that steak knife”. Brutalize him. Just for a second. Do it for you. 

Do it for her. 

“Go fuck yourself.” She spits. 

Your neck almost cracks with the speed you turn to her, eyes wide as the moon. Her father condemns, “Watch your mouth, Ellie.” 

“Or what, you old fuck?” 

Her heart rattles noisily in her chest; her hands shake where they rest on her lap, her cells trembling with the instinct to harm. The gaze of her father is distant and filled with inadequacy for his only line. Nothing unbeknownst to her, but there's a flash of something so deep, so forbidden for them, but she sees it every time they hold contact. Beneath all the loathing and lesions left to drain, there’s longing. An inkling of gratitude that she knows he’ll suppress until he’s buried underground. He’ll never look the same to her, and she imagines the same for him. Too many bridges burned. 

“How’d I do?” Ellie rasps to him, “Hm? The night went how you hoped?” 

Look at what you’ve done, she hopes her eyes say. Tears welt against her will. When was the last time she cried in front of him? She hadn’t even given him that honor at her mother’s funeral years ago. 

Ellie’s stiff stature nearly cracks at the light brush atop her knee. A wind catches in her throat when a pinky turns into three fingers, then five, then a palm that squeezes comfortingly, desperately. Maybe partly to keep her glued to this chair. She gulps the dryness down and a flame lights in the pit of her stomach. 

Her glance to you is brief, barely out of the corner of her eye, but you’re watching her. Intensely, and it scorches her cheeks, all the way down to her neck. Scared cat. Scared cat. Shrilled and cold and frightened to hell and she despises it. 

What changed? She’ll always wonder. That look hardly shook her a week ago and now it makes her teeth ache. 

Suddenly, it’s too warm here. 

“Get up,” Ellie rushes you. Grabs your arm and yanks you from your seat, “Not dealing with this fuckin’ bullshit tonight. We’re leaving.” 

There’s suddenly shouting from all directions of the dinner table with each step Ellie takes for you, but you never drop her hand. She clenches it tighter when you finally reach the back door. 

The door slams shut on the wreckage behind you. 

Consider plan MERGE a bust. 

Ellie’s a thief. You think. Maybe. 

Is it stealing if the car belongs to a family member? Where she snagged the keys from? You don’t remember. One second you’re at dinner, then watching the city pass you by the next. It’s silent in here. 

“Stop.” 

You slam back into your body. Still in the car. You wish you were asleep. 

“Huh?” 

Her eyes watch the road, but a hand rests on both of yours to pry them apart. 

“Stop. I hate that sound.” 

“… Wha—“

“You’re gonna rip your skin off if you don’t stop.” 

… Oh. Yeah. Bloody cuticles. It was all accidental, you swear. 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize.” Her eyes shut briefly and she sighs, sounding so worn. Exhaustion is her white flag. “Just stop.” 

“Alright.” 

“Thanks.” 

It’s quiet again. The red from the stop light reflects in the car and you’re instantly reminded of your stepfather. 

“Ellie.” 

“Hm.” 

“We should get a bird.” 

“… And do what with it.” 

You shrug, “Pet it. Feed it, too.” Sing with it, you wanted to add. Ellie would’ve probably laughed at you. 

She snickers dryly, “That’s usually what you do with a pet.” 

“I never had one.” 

The light turns green and the car revs. Your wife hums, “I had a fish once or twice.” 

“Lucky.” 

A small — very, very minuscule grin quirks Ellie’s lips and your heart hollers. For joy? In warning? 

“Not really. They kept dying so I gave up.” She snickers to herself, and you can’t help but stare. She starts talking then. Eyes gone, tension gone. She’s suddenly relaxed. 

“My mom… she, uh… loved water. Was always in it or… watching it on TV or something. She always bought fish from fucking… PetCo—“

“PetCo?” You laugh, then Ellie does. 

“Right? She’d take me and be like, “get one”. And I went home with a new fish every time.” 

“I thought you only went once or twice?” 

“… Times 100,” She giggles, “My mom lived there. She would always talk to the cats through the glass.” 

You don’t hesitate, “I wanna go.” 

“To PetCo?” 

“Yeah.” Why not? 

Everything is almost over. So, why not? 

“… K.” 

“So we’ll go?” 

“Mhm.” 

And the conversation ends. The car is silent. Suddenly tense again when you ask, 

“Do you think we’re cut off?” 

Ellie’s jaw clenches and the car is suddenly tense. Back to square one. “Possibly. Tonight was a shit show. It went by fast, at least.” 

“What’s gonna happen to me?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m…”

Alone. You’re fucking alone and know nothing about life outside of what was built around you. Without it, you’ll spiral and fail and face a dreadful reality. No more rose colored glasses even if they’re browned and wilted as is. You’ll be eaten alive by the creatures in the night without a protective border. 

But the curse will end. You won’t inherit or be forced to lie or play a game that ends in fire. Decades of legacy down the drain just like that, and by your own hand. It fascinates you, that power. A force you’ve been withheld from. 

“I don’t know.”

“Still thinking about divorce?” A void in Ellie’s tone. 

“I don’t know.” 

“They’ll never allow it, you know that, right?” 

“What if I just leave?” 

“And do what?” Her voice raises. 

“Who knows. Who cares.” 

“Please,” Ellie exasperates, “Your mom will get fucking SWAT to bring you back.” 

“What good will a corpse do for her?” 

You’ll be dead but you’ll have a bird. A colorful one. That’ll be your legacy. That’s all you need, really. Ellie doesn’t say anything. Neither do you. 

More buildings flash by and suddenly you’re home. Parked in the garage with Ellie beside you, gazing off into opaque walls. You wonder what she’s thinking. If she sees everything in black and white like you do. Maybe she’s the opposite, vision bright and full of suppressed color. She is a painter after all. 

“What’re your plans?” Ellie suddenly whispers. 

“For?” 

“Life. The future. Anything,” She pries and digs for something, “There has to be something that interests you! That gets you excited! There’s so much shit to do.” 

You shrug. Not much. Not anything. 

“I used to be excited for my wedding,” You mumble, “Like… as a kid. White dress and flowers and everyone’s just excited to be there. For love, and whatever, you know? That’s how it was in movies, at least.” It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s off your chest. The unhealthy romanticization of the happiest day of your life ended up being just another day to honor the greed of your families. Everyone was so lifeless when they watched you and Ellie kiss. It hadn’t even lasted 3 seconds before she shoved the band on your finger with teary cheeks. Such beautiful scenery was wasted on misery. 

You look over and Ellie’s eyes are roaring, palms squeezing together in her lap while her wedding ring twists around her finger. You watch it cycle. 

“Now I…” You chuckle sadly, “I just want a bird, to be honest.” 

With your heels and purse in hand, the car door opens and you exit, forcing yourself not to peek through the windshield at Ellie again. 

The second floor, your bedroom, your bathroom, are all quiet. Did Ellie not follow you inside? For a while, you envision what it would be like if you weren’t married. If you weren’t born as you, would your world be this still? 

It haunts you in the shower. Wolffish eyes and dry hands grasping at your shoulders and waist but everything’s quiet. 

You wash your face, brush your teeth, wrap your hair alone. You wonder if anyone is actually in the house. Was Ellie a figment of your imagination? Is this one of the nights that proves she doesn’t exist and that your brain is your greatest enemy? You shove your face into the mattress before your thoughts venture. Silence rocks you to sleep, but not forgetting the taunting desire to know 

Is death this quiet? 

Your mom’s calling. 

Vibrations rattle in your bedside dresser. The sun isn’t up yet. The birds are still resting. She never calls this early… or late. Something bad must’ve happened. It takes 17 seconds for your drawer to stop shaking before it starts again. 

You can’t move to answer, though. Your body isn’t yours at the moment. Your soul will reclaim its shell soon enough. Or maybe it won’t. 

Your drawer shakes shakes shakes. Your heartbeat eventually matches the pace of its vibrations. You think it’s been 20 minutes. Maybe longer. When will the birds wake? 

Finally, the calls stop. Your eyes shut again. Instantly taken by darkness. 

You never wear normal clothes. 

Ellie’s only ever seen you in thousand dollar dresses and high heel shoes that scrape your achilles and cloth that squeezes you so tight she thinks she might explode by just looking at you. No matter how fucking good you look in them. 

So what the fuck is that? Moreso, why does she like it so much? Her cheeks are on fucking fire and her heart is trying to flee its enclosing. 

You have a t-shirt on. A simple, non-Gucci white tee that says LAS VEGAS and black shorts and a scarf on your head and socks with squirrels on them. Is this the fucking matrix? 

You never wake up this late, either. It’s 20 till 10. 

“Did my mom call you at all?” 

No… no she didn’t… Why can’t Ellie speak? She’s sitting there gaping like a fish and taking guilty glances at your nipples through your shirt. She shakes her head. You nod yours. 

“I uh…” She mumbles with a cotton mouth when you step into the kitchen, “I made coffee.” 

“I smelled it.” You serve yourself at the counter. 2 Splenda packs, no cream.

“Did your mom call you?” 

“Yes.” 

“What’d she say?” 

“I didn’t answer.” 

… Interesting. Odd. Her calls are never missed by you. 

“I hope it’s something bad.” 

Ellie swallows her sip thickly. “… Damn. Why?” 

“She deserves it.” You say calmly while stirring. “He does, too.” 

“Your dad?” 

“My stepfather,” You hiss and slam your mug on the table. Ellie flinches, “Yes.” 

Her palms raise in surrender, “Sorry.” 

“Where do you go at night?” The chair across from her scrapes on hardwood when you sit. 

Nowhere, recently. Ellie shrugs as nonchalantly as she can, “Anywhere. Wherever I want.” 

“Take me next time.” 

She pauses her sip to ogle. “Hm?” 

“Take me. I wanna see what’s fun for you.” 

Ellie huffs a shocked laugh, “No, you don’t.” 

You squint, “Yes, I do. That’s why I’m asking to see.” 

“It’s not your scene, dude, trust m—“

She jolts where she sits when a hand — your hand, soft and agile and cold, slams down on the table, rattling both your mugs and the vase that holds dead flowers, nearly shattering the glass with an accusatory finger. 

“You dunno know shit about me! I’m fucking going whether you like it or not! Whether she likes it or not, and if I have to do it myself, I fucking will, you fucking psychotic fucking bitch!” 

You rise and stomp to where she sits with a pounding heart and a lecherous swirl in her gut. You look about ready to slice her open with a blunt butter knife. 

“You treat me like fucking trash just like everyone else,” You whisper venomously, and Ellie shakes, “The least you could do is listen for once. Scared to take me to the place you cheat on me at? Don’t want me to see it? That’d be too real, huh?” 

Ellie exhales a shaky breath of your name, but your nails, cut and manicured to perfection, sink into her cheeks so tightly that she winces and blushes and her tummy twists with heat. You don’t flinch when her fingers delicately entangle around your wrist; doesn’t want you to think she’s holding you there even though she is. 

“You’re gonna show me a good time tonight. If it’s as fun as you say, that shouldn’t be an issue, right?” 

Her eyes must read yes, yes, it’s not a problem; Your grin is wild like a hyena; pretty lips swelled around pretty teeth and you always smell good. Caramelized sugar and nectar.  

“Who knows,” You purr and Ellie feels goosebumps forming, “Maybe I can meet one of your little friends.” 

She chokes around a gasp before her lips curl into a conniving grin, cheeks plush around your fingers, “Aren’t you a little hussy.” 

“Fuck you.” You shove her so hard her back collides with the seat but her eyes glow pink. She watches you leave the kitchen and stomp up the steps with a burning chest until a door slams from upstairs. She releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding, wracked and desperate. 

-

-

-

Ellie will never admit — or maybe she will, but she purposefully uses your shared bathroom to catch glimpses at you. She always expects to find you out cold and wrapped in warm blankets, chest fluttering with each twitch of your socked feet that peek from below the blankets. 

What she doesn’t expect to see, though, is your phone shattered to pieces and left to drown in the clogged sink. Right next to a weighted rubber mallet; Where’d you find that? All your pent up emotions were taken out on your device… and the counter, apparently. The marble is chipped. 

She can only laugh in astonishment. Amazement. Fear when she realizes… 

Your mom.

Did you ever answer the phone?

Another day you’ve slept away. Either you were dreaming or someone was holding you suffocatingly tight; you enjoyed it, strangely. The sun is completely gone and there’s rustling and music echoing from the bathroom. Ellie’s in there. 

All the blood rushes to your head with how quickly you sit up, but your feet carry you past your closets until the light from the room sizzles your vision. 

Your wife stands by the mirror, drying her hair with a towel with a cigarette between her fingers. The guitar synths coming from her phone are grinding in your ears. 

Is she really keeping her promise? 

Did she promise to take you? You don’t remember. 

“Hi.” Her eyes meet yours in the mirror and your spine twitches. You say nothing, so she chuffs with a teasing lift of her lips, “Chickenin’ out?”

“No.” 

“K.” 

“What do I wear?” 

She shrugs, “Whatever you want to.” She speaks around smoke and her timbre’s dry. 

“What are you wearing?” 

“Whatever I want to.” 

She must sense your skepticism because she’s suddenly reassuring, voice crackly, “You’re not under any expectations tonight. You wanted me to show you what I do for fun, and I’m gonna. You just have to do your part and enjoy it.” 

Your nails dig into your thighs while you watch her. She has her ring on and her body wash coats the room in cinnamon. With a pounding heart, your hands slowly drag up your sides, fingers dragging at the hem of your shirt. She’s not looking. 

Enjoy it…

“Did you eat today?” 

“No.” 

She gives you a look. Stern. What is she mad about? Your tummy flutters, “There’s leftovers downstairs, you can have ‘em,” She shakes her wet hair and puts on her glasses, checks her watch, checks her phone, hits her cigarette. “We’re kinda behind so you should get read—“

Enjoy it. 

Her eyes meet where your shirt drops to the floor, breasts on display while your hands inch up your legs to drag your shorts down, all while you watch her. And she watches you. It’s overwhelming, your wife as an audience while you undress. But she told you to enjoy it. Enjoy the night. Enjoy the stares. Enjoy the attention. Enjoy her, for once. It all seeps into your pores. You step out of your bottoms and peel your socks off. 

Ellie drinks you in slowly. Says nothing. Simply takes her time memorizing every line, curve, dip, scar of you. You like how ravenous she looks. The sin in her pupils only darkens when your thumbs hook in your underwear to shed them. They dangle from your index finger when you walk; You smile when her throat jumps. 

She watches your filled hand travel to her pant pocket to shove the flimsy cloth in. The muscles in her back twitch when your finger traces her spine. Ellie’s pretty, littered in cute, red and brown spots. 

“I’m gonna shower.” Your lips brush her ear, and goosebumps rise all over her arms. Her eyes flutter in a pleasant blink, nodding in understanding. 

Your wife takes her lighter and reignites your favorite candle while your water warms. How sweet of her to set the mood for you. 

Ellie finishes her cigarette while you lather, watching her through the fogged glass of the shower walls, massaging soapy hands into your breasts and your legs and everywhere. She lights another at some point, bent over the counter while she smokes, ogling you through the mirror shamelessly. You smile when it settles in your chest.

You’re gonna fuck your wife tonight. 

What a fucking oddball you are. It’s cute. A little sexy, too. Only a little, she swears. 

… Fuck. 

She waits for you on the bed, dressed and jewelried, fiddling with her watch out of nerves because what the fuck are you playing at? Whiplash; that’s what she’s had all fucking day because of you. She works in the morning, for fucks sake. 

Still…

Does she deserve this sudden… What the fuck even is this? Certainly not affection; you nearly strangled her at the dining table. Attention, possibly? Seduction? She’s wired to hell, she wants you so bad. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

She could act on her attraction, sure. She’s positive you’d allow her to take whatever she wanted because that’s what you’re trained to do; to satisfy your partner — husband, she imagines your mother grating — in any way he desires. But Ellie’s not a man, and she doesn’t want that. She needs you to love it, to crave it as much as she does. To take from her like she dreams of taking from you. Ellie needs you to batter her, and if you’d like, she’ll do the same to you. 

If only you’d give her something tangible. Teasing isn’t enough. She’s desperate to get a grasp on your headspace; she wishes she could prick and prod at your brain for a second. What an experience that would be. 

You enter the bedroom like a ghost; hair still wet and coily, dressed in all black like she is, only decorated with gloss and earrings. No heels either. Just very shimmery looking flip-flops. Ellie bites down a smile. 

“Where are we going?” 

She shrugs at your inquiry, “Somewhere really, really loud.” 

“Will people find us?” Paps, you mean. Ellie denies. 

“Not where I’m taking you.” 

“Must be secretive.” 

She tuts, “Not… well, maybe. It’s fun though. I think you’ll like it.” 

“Okay.” 

Ellie stands with her wallet and keys and kiddingly offers you an arm to hold onto. “M’lady.”

But you don’t accept it; back turned, halfway out of the room towards the stairs.

Pleasant. She doesn’t mean to smile. 

She makes sure to grab the to-go box from earlier before locking the front door behind her. 

It is very loud here. And hot. And raunchy. 

… You like that. Your mom would have a heart attack if she were to ever walk in here. 

The trip to this whatever, wherever place was pretty far. You counted every second of the nearly hour ride, mainly because Ellie’s jittery knee made you nervous. It’s smaller than you assumed, but not quaint. Not at all. There's a ruckus from the entrance to the back exit, people your age and older, screaming and shouting words that you don’t know while people pound on drums and shred on guitar. They sweat through their clothes while their makeup streaks down their faces as they make love to microphone stands. 

… Better than tea time, you suppose. How exhilarating. Your heart’s pounding like crazy.

Not much can be said between you and Ellie. You can’t hear over the bass and rumbles from the floor but she holds your hand and small purse. Guides you to a small section in the back with a bar. She hands the tender her card and… that’s it. Four clear, questionably large shots are poured and slid to her like nothing. You want all of them. 

Ellie seems so at home as she guides you, already a burning shot down, into the crowd. You’re shoved instantly by party goers, but she catches you, holds you strongly. You look at her, puzzled with shock, but she uncaringly lifts her shoulders, downs a shot, and starts thrashing. 

Your jaw slacks and lights beam and flicker at a rapid pace but you’re smiling. Your wife meshes with the scene so nicely. You wanna be like that. So you follow. You drink and jump and flail and scream your head off. 

You and your wife are synched for once. Terrible dancers. No rhythm whatsoever. Who cares who cares who cares.

You wish your mom was here to see you like this. You hope your mom’s dead so she never has to see you like this. A thought so dark shouldn’t bring you this much joy. You laugh and holler at the imagery. Blood all over the marble. Blood all over the doors of your childhood home. Blood blood blood everywhere because they deserve it. Look at what they’ve done to you. Sick evil people.

You wanna kill your stepfather. This music makes you wanna kill your stepfather. It’s gorey in itself, almost. Abborherent verbiage. You think Ellie wants to kill your stepfather, too. You should ask her later. Maybe when you're both sober. Maybe you should make your mom watch you skin him alive. Him dying would damage her more than you ever could. 

When your eyes open, Ellie’s gawking at you, seemingly surprised. Impressed? She holds your cheeks to get your attention, gesturing, asking if you want another drink. You nod and shout in her face and she laughs. Ellie holds you by the waist and guides you to the bar. The bartender must like Ellie. You leave with a full bottle this time. 

You and Ellie pass it between yourselves, the night becoming more and more broken. Touchy. Feely. Ellie rubs all over you while you pour liquor into her mouth. A bit dribbles down the sides but she doesn’t care. You don’t either. So you lick the drops from her neck like a cat with milk. Ellie stops and you stop and everything stops. It’s just the two of you, suddenly; all other patrons evaporate to nothingness. Her eyes are blown and heavy as she searches your face, and they halt their wandering at your lips. She’s thinking about it; You want her to see how bad you crave it. Even if it’s just for a second. She smiles, pleased. You shudder. 

But she doesn’t do it. She spins you so your back is against her chest, lips at your neck while she pushes her hips into your ass. She’s messy, drenching your already sweaty neck in spit. Her nails dig into the fabric of your dress, guiding your hips, swaying you on her. You follow. You follow so blindly because you like her hands on you a little too much. You drink and drink and drink. Everything feels light. Good. 

You think Ellie’s speaking to you. Or singing words in your ear. Or maybe she isn't speaking at all. You’re not sure, but your face is burning hot. She tongues at your ear and you make a noise that you can’t hear but hope she can. You need this. 

Her hands are suddenly slow where they crawl up your sides until they rest on your breasts. Your empty hand lands on one of hers to squeeze so that she can squeeze you. You feel her smiling on your skin when your jaw slacks. 

Your head turns to chase her mouth, but she does you one better. Whisks you once more so your chests smash together. She snatches the bottle from your hand, takes one last swig before passing it to eager, drunk hands that wave from behind. You gasp when her thumb catches your bottom lip, pulls it down to get your mouth open enough for her to dribble liquor into. You moan loud enough for Ellie to hear over those booming drums, swallowing down everything she gives, nails sank into her waist while her hips push into yours. When you swallow the last drops, she kisses you. Messy and hot, tongue and teeth; it gets your heart singing. Her pink muscle swirls inside of your mouth and your arms wrap around her neck, yanking her into you so no space is left. Her hands are everywhere; tangled in your hair, grabbing at your hips, your ass, your thighs. Everywhere everywhere everywhere like she can’t get enough of you. You’re overwhelmed and high out of your mind but you follow her guide. Anywhere she wants you, you are. 

Maybe you’re just as bad as she is. After everything she’s done, you should hate her. You think you do. You hate her for leaving you. You hate her for embarrassing you. Abandonment. Her only gift to you. Maybe that’s why you kiss her with such conviction. 

Her touch is passionate; strong but not forceful. She breathes you in like a rarity, something she treasures, all while she licks and tugs at you like a slut. There’s a pulse deep within you when her lips enclose around your tongue to suck it. Your thighs squeeze and she grins madly, giving you one last innocent peck before she grabs your hand to spin you. You laugh and twirl with her. 

You understand why people fall in love so fast. You hate that you’re one of them. 

Or are you simply as delusional as they come? 

You’re even more enthralling when free of restraint. 

Ellie’s drunk and sweaty and exhausted but she uses every last bit of strength to stare at you. She sits at the bar as the crowd dwindles, artist after artist, established or aspiring, all go on to perform, and you haven’t taken a break once. You simply twirl and spin and mouth incorrect lyrics with the widest smile on your face, all while Ellie brings you her drinks to finish. 

You’ve been here for hours it seems, but Ellie can’t drive. But the night is young. You certainly don’t look ready to go home. 

What more can she show you?

“Thank you all for comin’ out! Tonight was a dream—“

You’re a dream, Her chest screams. You you you you fuck—

You clap like the happiest seal on the planet before spinning around to face Ellie. It happens in flashes: you come closer and closer until you’re in front of her, warm hands on her cheeks, ears tingling when you whisper, 

“I didn’t get to meet your sluts.” 

You sound upset about it. Ellie stumbles about how they didn’t come, how they’re not here. How she doesn’t wanna see them right now and she means it all, but you don’t believe her, and her chest hurts. Guilty guilty guilty. 

“Get up.” You step away and Ellie pains to pull you back, savor the night a second longer. But she signs the receipt before following you towards the exit. The cold air feels so good. She needs water now. 

She gives you a little yank when you start wandering the opposing direction, “Come… come here. This way.” 

You grin and slur, “Where to?” 

Ellie’s brows wiggle playfully, “Gas station. You hungry?”

“…Yes.”

Ellie extends her hand for you to hold, and surprisingly, you accept. Her heart jolts to life. 

The walk is quiet. Your eyes are glued to the sky, wide and innocent; the large moon entrances you, surrounded by glittery stars. You both wobble down the sidewalk, trying to avoid bumping into pedestrians and other drunkards. She thought the rowdiness of nightlife would frighten you, but you seem drawn to the chaos.  

Soon enough, you’re both surrounded by aisles filled with chips and sodas and a fuck ton of candy. Ellie cringes at the fond stares she gives you holding 4 packs of watermelon sour patches. You’re cute as hell right now. Have you never been to a convenience store? What the fuck. 

“El! El, what the fuck! Where ya been!” 

Her sluggish brain is trying — really trying to figure out who the hell just left the staff room and is walking towards the two of you. It’s someone that knows her name or whatever shortened version they’ve created and the closer this person gets the more you shield yourself behind her fuck fuck fuck

Arms latch around her neck in a strong hug. Muscular, nice voice, smells like cherries. 

Abigail Anderson. Shoulda known. Great. 

“Jesus fuck, you smell like my dad’s liquor cabinet! We fucking missed you! We haven’t seen you in…” 

When Abby pulls back, her eyes immediately find you. Ellie steals a glance; eyes wide, soft with curiosity. They darken slightly when they lock onto Abby’s shoulders, all the way down to her arms and Ellie… why the fuck does that annoy her? 

“Who’s that,” Abby whispers suggestively and Ellie sighs. Scratches at her eye in irritation. 

“I’m her wife.” You say causally, and it shocks both of them. Abby moreso. Did Ellie never tell her? She’s sure she did. Everyone knows she’s married… right?

“Wh— wife?” Her eyes shift onto Ellie, “Bitch, you got married? What the fuc— when—“

“3 months ago.” You answer.

“Fucking — holy shit. Congrats? Uhh… sorry! Nice to meet you! You’re gorgeous, by the way,” She stutters to shake your hand, but you accept it, “I’m Abby!” 

“Hi.” You smile in delight and your shoulders relax. Abby smiles just as gently and Ellie thinks it’s time to go because you’re both getting on her nerves. 

“Alright, well, we're gonna pay, so… yeah. I’ll text you tomorrow or something. We’re tired.” 

“Mhmm,” Abby hums cockily, eyes glued to the mess Ellie made of your neck, “Looks like y’all had a great time.” 

“We did,” She confirms with pointed eyes, “See ya.” 

“Byeee.” Abby sing-songs with a chuckle before Ellie leads you towards the service counter to dump your snacks. Ellie gives the cashier a familiar nod. 

“Is she who you fuck?” 

Ellie chokes on her water and the cashier gawks at you from behind their reading glasses. You couldn’t have been any fucking louder in that moment, what the fuck.

“What—“

“Do you fuck Abby? I hope not in that bathroom,” You clumsily point to the gender neutral sign near the entrance. “I heard they’re filthy—“

Ellie whispers even though there’s no point, “Dude, are you fucking crazy—“

“… It's just a question—“

“Have a nice night.” 

The cashier rigidly hands Ellie her a stuffed baggie and receipt. She snatches them before snatching you to leave. She drops your hand the second briskness surrounds you, “The fuck was that about?” Her chips are calling her. She needs a stress reliever. 

“What—“

She squeezes the bag and the pop rings like a gunshot, “Why the fuck are you asking if I fucked Abby? What the fuck—“

“She’s hot and you kinda are… to a certain degree, I guess. I just assumed.” 

Ellie’s appalled, but doesn’t have the energy to look offended. “Stop assuming, it’s… that’s fucking weird—“

You simply shove tiny watermelon slices in your mouth and steal her water to chug it. She watches you impatiently before you hand the crumpled, half-empty plastic back to her. She downs the rest and discards it some-fucking-where. 

Her thoughts are clouded. Did she fuck Abby? Are you forreal—

“I don’t care, you know.”

“About what?” 

You shrug, “If you fuck her.” 

“Please be quiet.”

“Okay.” 

You both do for a while, dead grass and Dorritos crunching around you. 

Until Ellie speaks again. 

“You’re quiet.” 

“Mhm.”

“Sleepy?”

“Nmhm.” 

Wide awake, actually. The world passes you by with each step the two of you take, swirling with bright lights and laughter. You follow Ellie closely, handfuls of candy shoved in your mouth while she munches on her chips. You never had those orange triangles before. Neither of you are in a rush to make it back to the car. Can Ellie drive in this state?

“Do you, uh, like places like that? Concerts?” 

“Yes.” You break out in a grin. 

“What else do you like?” 

“I dunno. I haven’t… experienced much.” You shrug, accidentally brushing against your wife’s shoulder. Electricity sparks near the end of your spine where a steadying hand rests. “Your friend… does she go with you? To concerts?” 

“Who?”

“Aaabby.” You tease, mocking the blonde girl from earlier, and Ellie’s expressions flattens. She's unsure why. 

“Oh, uh… yeah,” Her chip bag is suddenly very interesting. “Sometimes. I met her at one a few years back after a showcase I hosted.” 

“I like her.” She’s nice and smells nicer. You regret not shaking her seemingly strong hand a few seconds longer. Strong all over, actually. 

“… Uh huh.” 

Your brow arches at that, “Does that bother you?” 

“Why the fuck would it bother me? You can like whoever.”  

“Exactly how you like whoever, huh?” You sneer lazily, and Ellie goes stoic. And just like that, the conversation dies once more. You’re glad for it; selfishly, you’d rather refrain from telling your wife about how attractive you found her friend. She’s left you guessing under too many circumstances. Consider this a sliver of revenge. 

You both make it back to the parking lot in silence, minus Ellie’s agitated crunching. You lean against the passenger door while you watch her dig around for the keys. 

“Where to?” 

“It's almost 4 in the morning.” She hisses. 

“So?” You came home later than that for weeks. You wanna say it. You should say it. Grind your thumb deeper into that open wound, but you save it. Another day, maybe. Maybe not. 

“So we’re going home. I’m tired.” 

“Well, I’m not.” 

“Okay? Whatever, I’ll drop you off somewhere.” 

“You wouldn’t leave your poor, defenseless wife unattended, would you?” You whisper slowly, and Ellie tenses when you plant a soft hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t acknowledge you, just stares through the window behind you. You scoff and drop it by your side. Cross your arms stubbornly. 

“You’re mad because I like Abby.”

“There’s nothing for you to like! You just met her.” Her voice raises, and annoyance flares in you. 

“Exactly! I just met her, and I like her! The fuck did you think I was gonna do? Flash her right in front of the gummy worms?” 

“I don’t know! Fucking maybe!”

“So you can fuck other people but I can’t?” 

Ellie’s very close to you suddenly. Your heart jumps, “Oh, now you wanna fuck Abby? She’s the first person you’ve interacted with besides me since we got fucking married!” 

“SO?” You holler. 

“SO YOU��RE NOT FUCKING MY FRIEND! ARE YOU INSANE!” Speckles of spit land on your face and it sizzles into your pores. You might be. You fucking are. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Ellie’s forcing herself into your space, so why do you fight? Why are you hungry? 

Your palms crash into her chest and she nearly loses her balance, “I DON’T NEED PERMISSION FROM YOU! WE’LL FINALLY BE EVEN, YOU FUCKING WHORE!” 

“Yeah? Think Imma fucking whore?” Her grin is sinister, and excitement coils in your belly. Gets your fingers twitching from how hard they’re clenched. 

“Maybe I do.” Vehemence scathed your tongue. 

“You know what I think?” 

“I don’t care—“

“I think you do.” She mumbles against your cheek, “I think you’re jealous.” 

You still. Ellie’s eyes pierce through yours, burning and hot, nostrils flared: she looks like she could snap you in half. Your spine tingles with delirium. 

“You’re mad because I get to be. I can exist and fuck and party and come and go as I please and you hate it. You wish you could do what I do.” She stares like you killed her mother yourself. Strangled her with your bare hands. “I don’t have mommy and daddy breathing down my neck every 2 seconds. You want that so bad it makes you sick.” 

“So why stay?” 

It shocks her. You don’t waver; passive as usual. 

“You’re free and can do whatever you want, right? Why are you here? Go and be that. Be whoever you wanna be because you can.”

Everything will be over soon. Might as well. Ellie simply glares through you. 

Curiosity is your worst enemy. Might as well ask. 

“Why’d you defend me at dinner?” 

What does she know what does she know what does she know what

She rubs her eyes stubbornly, “Oh my fucking god, who gives a fuck!” 

“Me! I give a fuck! Why’d you do it! Why! You’ve never done it before!” 

She knows she knows she knows she knows she knows she knows

“BECAUSE FUCK HIM! FUCK EVERYBODY THAT DID THIS TO US! FUCK YOU, TOO!” 

You might cry, you might not. You’re unsure of everything and you’re angry and hurting. Ellie’s a reflection of you, and vise-versa. You hate her hate her hate her. 

Hatred. It might be the reason why kissing her feels so good. Because it shouldn’t be happening. Ellie shouldn’t have you trapped between her and her car, grinding so harshly into you that your spine bends. You shouldn’t tug at her hair to expose her neck to lick and suck and bite her neck red while she curses in your ear. 

This is the distraction you’ve been desperately searching for. To think you’d find it in your wife after all this time. 

“I’d be a whore for you,” She shamelessly seers against your throat, hands wandering to unbutton her own pants, “You know that, right?” 

… That’s cute. Makes you blush. 

“Yeah?” Her laugh is thick like syrup, “Gets you hot? Knowing how easily I’d give it up for you?” 

That sideways grin makes you tick. Your hand closes tight around her throat and she nearly bloodies her bottom lip with her fangs. Your wife looks pathetic; thumbs hooked into her pants, so ready to drop them for you in the middle of the parking lot. People are wandering about; she’s willing to fuck in front of them? 

How pretty would she look trying to be quiet for you? Nervous eyes searching for privacy, praying no one walks by and sees her on the edge with your hand down her underwear. Hopefully no one recognizes her, pulls out their phone, records the two of you. Blasts you both on social media while Ellie moans in your mouth. What would people think? Your families? How ashamed would they be? Their two girls making a mess of themselves in public. 

The thought makes you smile. Scares you. Makes you choke her harder. Her pained whine vibrates in your palm. 

“Get the fuck in the car.” 

The windows fog with the heat of your bodies; her body trapped beneath yours in the back seat that’s roomier than you anticipated. She rolls your hips on top of her, desperate and eager to rip your fucking clothes off and feel you for real. Your dress rests around your hips, your panties on display and she wishes she could see them. She only has her hands for reference, tracing over each thin seam littered with lace and patterns she tries to memorize. Your tongue belongs in her mouth. You feel so fucking good; you’re not close enough. She needs you closer. 

Her mouth chases yours when you finally separate, only connected by a thin string of saliva, but a stern hand collides with her chest to keep her flat. Her hands tickle your waist. Rests your dress even higher until she can see your belly button. 

“Wanna know a secret?” You whisper down at her, and she smirks. 

“I know you’re a virgin, baby.” She whispers giddily, and your teeth grit. A flame coils in your chest. You ignore her.

“You could’ve had me after our wedding, you know? With my face buried in the pillows and my ass in your face. I would’ve let you do whatever you wanted that night.” 

Your sudden vulgarity stuns her silent. Your wife looks like she’s imagining it; lip bruised from both your and her teeth, mind racing with filth of you in every position she can think of. She wouldn’t have been able to separate from you if that was the case. It’s one of the reasons she kept her distance; those pretty brown eyes rolled back would’ve put her underground. She’d never tell you that. 

“But no,” You say like it aches, “You wanted to go and bend over all those girls that follow you around like fucking dogs. You wanted a bitch, not a wife. Right or wrong?” 

She can barely breathe and your hand pressing on her chest isn’t helping; reduces her to sharp gasps that make her lightheaded. The more ragged they become, the harder you press. Your brow arches when she innocently bares her teeth. 

Her palms squeeze at your ass, “I thought about you the entire time—“

Your hand cracks and her head flies to the side. Right on her left cheek is the already reddening imprint of your hand. The crackles in your palm are numbed by the alcohol and your core burns at the shock on her face. She gawks off to the side, that meddling smile dropped completely, chest ragged with her breaths. 

“Ellie, put your hands down.” You spit, and they drop from you completely, palms flat on the seat beneath her. 

“You had every chance to do right by me and you wasted every single one.” You sound like you’re about to cry; Ellie’s too scared to look at you. Not the good scared that she’s felt around you this entire time, but a hollow scared. The one that freezes you. Her fight or flight is triggered. 

“I think you owe me an apology.” You whisper against her burning face before you kiss it gently. A pained groan escapes her, and you laugh. Loud, in her face. Even louder when she tries to grind her hips up into you. 

“Take us home, wife.” 

[fairlyang]

Gatita🕷️

you get recruited and slowly convince miguel you're on his side

w/c: 12K

pairing: miguel o’hara x blackcat!reader

tags: 18+ smut. mention of guns, blood, murder, death, grief. teasing, seducing, goes both ways, tension, slight choking, groping, kissing, interrupted, more tension, caves in, blowjob, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it up!!), size difference, more choking

notes: my longest fic up to date which is a bit sad bc I think she flopped bc the hornies hate reading more than 1K sometimes 💀

The notorious Black Cat of New York but also happened to be the city's very own Spider Woman. An incredibly unexpected combination but what can one do when kidnapped by Kingpin and are forcibly meant to be his Guinea pig?

Then almost right after escaping getting bit by a radioactive spider....

On the bright side who else was able to rob banks and also be able to stop other criminals from doing so, before she gets to hit them herself? None other than yourself, of course.

You kept your two different lives separate, to the best of your ability anyway. Obviously no one was able to stop the infamous Black Cat or retrieve all the things she'd steal. Spider Woman on the other hand, stopping every other criminal or asshole on the streets, besides your alter ego.

You were going to hit up a jewelry store, to steal a few brand new diamonds for yourself. In your oh so casual Black Cat attire that consisted of a black spandex suit with the matching mask covering your eyes, along with the realistic long silver wig.

You were somewhat unrecognizable, but it wasn't like anyone from your personal life was gonna be robbing banks or jewelry stores. Or be anywhere near when you would be robbing one. There'd be no reason for anyone in your life to see you when you were doing Black Cat activities.

Or so you thought, before your whole world came crashing down.

I quickly turned off the security system in the jewelry store from the alley right next to it, I grabbed my bag of goodies and I hid my special tablet behind some trash before quickly going inside by the side door. It was vacant, as expected.

I went to the back of the store and look at the cases with the newest necklaces and rings embedded with shiny diamonds. I trail a finger along the glass and look down at the casing filled with only diamond rings.

I walked along the back of the store, looking at everything, the shiniest of rings and earrings until I spotted the most gorgeous necklace.

Filled with diamonds shaped like flower petals all along the neckline with a leaf shape hanging down with more diamonds embedded on its shape, with a red ruby sitting perfectly right in the middle of it. My eyes flicker with admiration and want, I needed it. I take my bag off from my shoulder and place it on the floor quickly opening it to grab something to open the case. Then I stop and stand up walking to the back of the case and scoff. The key.

What kind of dumbasses leave the fucking key out?

I shrug and roll my eyes unlocking the little door and take the necklace out carefully. No alarm.

I close the case and walk back to my bag and stuff it in one of its pockets then zip it up. I pick it up putting the strap back on my shoulder and walk around the store, stopping when something caught my eye.

I walk over to it and chuckle. How ironic... a gold necklace with a spider hanging out and yet another red ruby being held by it's arms and legs.

How could I not?

I grab a small tool with a pointy end and walk to the back of the counter. I kneel down and quickly unlock the little door and in just a few seconds it clicks open. I slide the door open and grab the necklace admiring the pretty ruby.

I stand up and grab a few other pieces then walk around the counter and back to my bag. I put them all in another pocket carefully then close it shut. I wrap my bag around my shoulders and head towards the side door, not really wanting anything else. I open the door and close it quietly before making my way to pick up my tablet from where I left it.

Sure enough it was there and I quickly turned the security system back on before using a web to swing up onto the roof of a building.

I always tried to be careful when using my webs but considering it was past 1am and it was empty out, i didn't have a care.

I walk along the edge of the roof looking at the view, admiring all the buildings and the glowing moon right above them. I jump onto the next roof and continue walking, keeping an eye out just in case. I jumped off roof to roof for about an hour, patrolling around, nothing out of the ordinary happening so i decide to make my way home.

I was a bit far from my apartment so I started swinging in the direction, feeling the cold breeze and going through the dimly light streets when my spidey senses go off when I'm one block away from my place. I swing on top of a roof and look down at an alleyway and widen my eyes to see my best friend, Ben getting mugged.

I curse under my breath and feel my heart start to race. I put my bag on a corner of the roof and look down before carefully climbing down a set of pipes, unbeknownst to the muggers.

I was right above them now and I take a deep breath then jump on top of one, knocking him off Ben and giving him space to catch a breather. I punch his jaw once I tackled him down to the floor then continuously punch him in the face against the hard floor.

I stand up and turn to look at the other guy and he gripped his gun. Ben had taken a few steps back making me feel a tad bit more calm. I sprint towards the bad guy somehow catching him off guard and kick him in the balls instantly making him groan and drop down to his knees.

I punch him on the stomach multiple times as hard I can, not able to control myself, almost like I needed to make sure he wouldn't be able to hurt Ben. Then I hear his voice and I feel his hands on my shoulders. "Hey- hey hey it's fine- I'm good now- it's fine." He says with widened eyes as we both look down to see the man with blood coming out of his mouth, his breathing slow.

I step away from the man and try to control my rapid breathing, before turning to Ben and asking in a softer voice, "are you okay?"

"Yeah- me? Oh yeah I'm fine, I'm good- I- uh-thanks..." He trails on and I take a deep breath.

"Black Cat." I say and look down at my masked hands covered with blood.

"Right! Thanks a lot- I uh just didn't expect 'em-" he savs and I cut him off.

"Of course." I say in my normal voice and I mentally curse myself, he can't know.

Suddenly my spidey senses go off and I turn around withdrawing my talons and claw at the guy behind me but not before hearing a gunshot. I feel my heart drop and I widen my eyes looking down at the gun.

I pull it out of the man, his body instantly dropping and turn around to see Ben covering his stomach then slowly starting to fall. I quickly run to him and was able to catch him, as we dropped to the floor, and my hands immediately going to put pressure on his wound but he was losing blood fast. "Hey look at me- B-Ben- keep your eyes on me- please-" I cry out, already feeling the hot tears streaming down my mask.

"'Wha-" he tries to say but I shake my head and bring a hand up to cover his mouth.

I bite my lip and then take my other hand off his stomach. I carefully take off his jacket and make him press it against his stomach. "I-I"

I bring my hands up to take off my mask and I look down at him with a sad smile. His eyes immediately grew wide and he tried to speak again but I shake my head. "You're gonna be okay- I promise-" I whisper and then move my hands back onto his stomach, the jacket already being soaked by his blood.

I swallow back a sob and wipe my tears, trying so hard to remain optimistic, "Don't waste your energy okay? I promise you'll be okay." I say breathless and he just shakes his head.

I feel my heart break into pieces and more hot tears stream down my face. "It's okay." He whispers and holds onto my hands, slightly gripping them.

"N-no- no B-Ben p-please-" I cry out and he lets out a small smile.

"It's... okay..." He says slowly and I see how slow he's breathing now.

I look down at his eyes, and he lightly squeezed my hands and nods. I curse under my breath and shake my head, "I'm so sorry-"

He coughs, some blood coming out, then shakes his head, "it's.. not your... fault..." he whispers making me want to cry even harder.

"I love you." I whisper and hold his hand softly.

"I love you." He murmurs and then his eyes close. His grip on my hands loosened completely and his breathing stopped.

I'd never felt such heartbreak in my life, I've never dealt with instant grief like this, or anger at myself. I cradled him in my arms, now silently crying unable to move and slowly not able to breathe. I started sobbing uncontrollably after looking down at his face, what was always so happy and lively was now never going to look at me, scold me or roll his eyes at me.

I stayed like that for who knows how long until I heard a noise behind me. I turn and look at the man who murdered my best friend, slowly crawling away, letting out groans for every little inch he moved. I move Ben's body to lay down flat on the floor before standing up and taking a few steps towards the fucker who just took my other half from me. I grab him and turn him around, slamming him against the concrete and make him look at me. With pure anger and malice I withdraw my claws and in an instant slash at his face then withdraw a talon again, lifting it up and stabbing him in the heart repeatedly.

I stopped after my arm started to hurt and I looked down at the mess. My body started shaking and I look down at my talon, hands, legs. All covered in blood. I shake my head and walk back to Ben, moving the hair out of his face and making sure his eyes were closed.

I let the tears fall down as I looked at his face, how much I'd miss his contagious laugh, his smile, the way he'd ramble on about his current interest. God I'm gonna miss him.

I was front row at his funeral, holding hands with his mom and sister, I made sure to tell them that the person who took him away from us was dead. They didn't even ask, not wanting to know the details, but were happy that Ben got his justice. But at what cost?

Nothing broke my heart more than hearing his sister tell me that he was on the way to see me, to have a surprise movie night because he missed us just randomly hanging out.

I let more tears fall, as I saw his casket going down, I'd never have my best friend back. What will I do without him?

I let them go as they went to stand by to watch. I let more tears fall as I grip the matching bracelet we had bought years ago when we were in high school. Mine was purple with a charm of some milk, his was blue with a charm of cookies. What was once such a silly little buy between two friends was now another reminder of all our memories together.

I stand up and drop to my knees in front of the designated spot for his grave and look down. Saying my final goodbyes in my head and look up at the sky knowing he'll always be watching over me.

"Jess you said you found a possible new recruit?" Miguel asked looking down at Jess as his platform was going down.

"Yep. You might want to consider her..." she says and walks onto his platform after it fully stopped, handing him the file.

He quickly skims through it then scoffs, "Jess this is a Black Cat variant-"

"Keep reading!" She exclaims and takes a seat on his chair, leaning back against it.

He rolls his eyes but does so anyway considering he trusts Jess' judgement. He keeps reading and suddenly his eyes widen making Jess laugh. "Considering it huh?"

He doesn't say a word, raises an eyebrow, and looks up at her, "when was the last time she did Black Cat activities?"

"Four years ago, exactly today." She responds and he cocks an eyebrow.

"Just keep reading Miguel." She says letting out a sigh.

He groans but looks back down at the paper, now carefully reading through everything. His eyes soften for a singular second before he has a serious look on his face again.

"Go get her." He says as Jess carefully stands up.

"You got it." She says as she takes a step down his platform.

"Just be careful-"

"Yeah yeah-" she says waving him off making him groan.

"I'm serious Jess- Black Cats are unpredictable-"

"Which would make her a great fit here." She retorts and walks out of his office.

It was four years since Ben was shot, you had struggled a lot especially in the beginning. But with all the support of his family, your family, close friends, and tons of therapy, you were able to grieve, and move on with your life but never forgetting your childhood best friend.

I was sitting down next to Ben's grave eating his favorite food, mac and cheese, along with some chocolate nesquik. God he really had the appetite and taste of a five year old.

I shake my head and smile at his grave, "Ben Parker, beloved son, brother, and friend"

"I sure do miss you." I mumble and look up at the sky.

I sigh and scoop up the last of the mac and cheese putting it into my mouth before taking a long sip of the nesquik. I pull the bottle away from my mouth before spilling the rest of it on the grass in front of the grave. "This one's for you." I say and chuckle.

I sigh and lean my back against his grave, looking at all the new dandelions that grew all around. I thought of it as he was giving us something to show he was with us. I let one hand gently caress one and smile.

Suddenly I feel something coming, I quickly stand up and look around. Nothing. I squint my eyes but there was no one around, no car or anything. Then just as I was about to sit back down some weird portal appeared out of thin air.

I straighten up and widen my eyes. I take a step back unsure of how it got here or who was about to come out. I look down at Ben's grave and sigh, quickly do a cross across my forehead and chest. I get in a fighting position when a woman steps out, a pregnant woman at that. I furrow my brows and watch as she steps in front of me cautiously. "Who are you?"

"Call me Jess..." she says and I put my hands down slowly.

"You're a spi-"

"Yep- sorry to be the one to burst your bubble but you aren't-" she starts to say and I gasp.

"The only one." I finish and widen my eyes.

"Wow...." I murmur taking a close look at her suit, it didn't even look like a suit more like a cool outfit.

"And you're pregnant?" I say and look down at her belly.

She nods and smiles, bringing a hand down to gently rub her stomach, "four months." She says softly and I give her a small smile.

"So not to be rude but why are you here? And how?" I ask and cross my arms against my chest.

"Think of this as... recruitment." She says and eyes me up and down.

"Recruitment?" I mumble and shake my head, "for what exactly?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"You'll find out soon enough." she raises an eyebrow at me, "you have a suit?"

I chuckle and shrug, "haven't really used it in a while...." I say and she smiles.

"Well you're gonna use it now." She says and opens a new portal and motions for me to follow her.

"This might feel a bit weird." She says as she walks in and I slowly follow.

We walk for a bit until another portal opens and it's in... my living room. "Go on, I'll wait." She says and I scoff.

"How the-"

"You don't mind if I get some water do you?" She asks as she walks over to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home....." I mumble as I walk over to my room then look back to notice the portal was gone. What the fuck.

"Y'know when you said you had a suit, I thought you meant-" Jess starts to say and I cut her off. "My spider woman one?" I say and chuckle, as I turn to look at her and she nods.

We walk out of the portal and are in some kind of lobby, my eyes widen and I gasp. I look around and there's hundreds, maybe thousands of spider people. And animals? "Was that a dinosaur?"

"There's all kinds of spider beings here." She says and I nod.

"Clearly- holy shit-" I say and admire all the different suits, designs and colors people had.

"So why did you decide on wearing this suit?" She asks as she leads the way walking past working spiders.

"Uh well let's just say my other one got fucked in my last fight and I was getting too lazy to fix it." I say and laugh.

"Plus this one was the next best thing.... And gives me more strength." I add and shrug. "And I wanted to see if it still fit..." I mutter and smirk.

"At least you didn't put the wig on...." She says playfully rolling her eyes making me laugh.

"Well you didn't give me much time to." I joke and bring a hand up to my ear to fix my earring.

"So, everyone's boss, Miguel O'Hara, is something special.... Long as you don't flip on us then you'll be fine and he might be alright with you sticking around." She says and I raise an eyebrow.

"So this is gonna be like an interview?" I ask and groan.

"Unfortunately."

I roll my eyes and curse under my breath, "mi suerte." (just my luck)

"Oh and he's Mexican so might have to be careful if you curse at him in Spanish." She says and i scoff.

"You're joking-"

"Nope, so watch that mouth." She warns and making me smirk.

"Then this just might be more fun than I thought." I say keeping the smirk on my face as she just shakes her head.

"Be chill." Jess said as we walked the long hallway to Miguel's office.

"I'll try...." I say and shrug.

"No doors?" I mutter and see all the machinery all over the place as we make a turn and yet another long hallway but with a lot of space at the end of it.

She ignores me as we keep walking and I trail a finger along all the tech things. I walk behind her admiring everything, then see a tool I knew all too well and chuckle. I shrug and grab it, unzipping the front of my suit, hiding it on the underside of my bra before quickly catching up to Jess while I zip my suit back up. You never know when you'll need it.

We walk into a room with a high ceiling and we both stopped and looked up as a platform was coming down, with who I assumed was Miguel. Wow he was huge-

I shake my thoughts away and bite my lip, crossing my arms across my chest and watch as it goes down. So slowly.

I blink and turn to Jess, she just sighs and shrugs, "just be patient."

"That isn't really in my blood...." I whisper and she chuckles.

"Well with him it'll have to be." She says making me roll my eyes.

It eventually came down, his back was facing us which I found to be very distracting... he was very wide, broad, and definitely not like the other Mexican men back in my New York. I bite my tongue and push back my thoughts... for now...

"Why are you wearing that?" He suddenly asks now turning around to face us and I raise an eyebrow. Why?

"Just felt like it." I say sarcastically making him narrow his eyes at me.

He turns to look at Jess and gives her a look, I roll my eyes pretending I didn't see it and take it upon myself to walk around as he steps off to talk to her.

I look up at the orange screens on top of the platform. It was showing tons of video clips, of different spiders but also of people out of their suits? Was this dude stalking people? This looked fucking insane.

I look at a specific screen seeing two teenagers talking, both their eyes filled with admiration and love. Cute.

"Oye gatita-" The voice and snap of Miguel fills my ears and I turn my head to look at him, "no es bueno fisgar." (Hey kitty, it's not good to snoop around)

I smirk and shrug, "just curious."

"Don't care that it killed the cat?" He responds quickly and I laugh.

"Did you already have these ready?" I tease and he rolls his eyes letting out a scoff. This was gonna be fun.

I walk back to him and Jess, looking at them, waiting expectantly. He lets out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair and looks at me, "so the last time you've robbed anything was four years ago?"

I nod, not exactly shocked he already knew. He did have screens that were practically cameras.

He narrows his eyes at me and I tilt my head to the side keeping my eyes on his. We stayed like that, few feet away from each other just holding each other's gaze.

I was captivated, I couldn't look away because I simply didn't want to. And to not lose this silent staring competition. His eyes were a gorgeous color of red, and like all men, had pretty long lashes. 

It had me thinking of how he was really handsome, the kind you'd find on a night out but not get the chance to ask for his number and you slump all sad for the rest of the night. Or the kind you and all your girlfriends would be fighting over wanting to go talk to him. The kind you'd grow the balls to ask to dance with you or maybe not even ask and just grind up against him-

Suddenly there's a loud clap making us both blink and groan at the same time. "Sorry just wanted to say I'm leaving." Jess says as I turn my head to look at her with a semi-surprised look on her face.

"But I want the credit for bringing her in considering it seems you already don't mind her presence." She adds and I laugh.

I look at Miguel as he scoffs and shakes his head, interesting reaction. "Who said-"

"Alright I'll leave you to it." She cuts him off and turns to me.

I look at her as she puts her hands on my shoulders and leans into my ear, "maybe use your magic on him, to make him less grumpy." She whispers very quietly making me smirk. Ah so he needs a distraction....

I bite my lip to hold back my laughter and just nod as she pulls away, "don't gotta tell me twice." I whisper back and she grins.

"She's a keeper." Jess says turning back to Miguel and he sighs.

"We'll see about that." He mutters and I grin.

Jess gives me a wave as she walks off and I look at Miguel again, "You definitely blinked first."

He shoots me a glare making me snicker, "you're very easy to tick off huh?"

"Shut up." He snarls making me grin.

"I can tell this is the start of a very beautiful relationship." I say and give him a wink.

He rolls his eyes then throws something at me, I catch it with ease and look down at it, a watch. "Welcome to the spider society." He says and goes back up to his platform without another word.

I admire it for a few seconds before quickly slipping it on and smile, wow.

Jess was kind enough to show me the ropes of how to use the watch, more specifically how to make portals to go to my earth and back here. Then she made another spider give me a tour and the overall breakdown, she was very sweet.

"So, Gwen, is it usually busy here?" I ask and turn to the blonde haired girl as she shrugs.

"Depends on the day, sometimes it's chaotic..." she says as we turn to see some spiders in the middle of an argument and she gives me a smile, "but sometimes it's chill."

I laugh and nod, "sure seems like it'd be a good mix of both."

She nods and smiles, "you'll fit right in! And don't mind the stares, there's already not too many women here so they're just-"

"Yeah... y'know what it's fine, could be way worse..." I say and chuckle, already have felt the stares since I got here.

"Trust me I get it, a lot, it'll calm down after a bit." She ensures making me laugh.

"We'll have to see about that, guess I'm not your ordinary spider woman." I mutter, shaking my head in disbelief.

Have these men never seen a woman before?

"It's whatever, but I really didn't expect this many people-" I say and look all around us casually looking at the amount of suits there were.

So many colors.

"Yeah we're a big bunch..." she jokes as we walk around the halls of HQ.

"And Miguel recruited everyone?" I ask turning to look at her.

"Pretty much." She responds letting out a chuckle.

"What a job huh?" She adds and I nod.

"It's a job of it's own." I mutter under my breath just shocked how one man can find and say yes to a shit ton of people.

"His main focus is his work so it shouldn't be too shocking y'know?" She responds and it had me thinking.

Main focus huh? Very, very interesting.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

It was your second day and after getting a full tour you had gotten your first mission. You caught the anomaly easily and thinking you'd get another one, you went to Miguel's office but he said that was it.

"What do you mean?!?" I ask confused.

"You're still new alright gatita? I'm not going to immediately give you a handful of anomaly's to catch, I'm going to ease you into it." He explains making me groan and roll my eyes to which he sighs.

"If you keep up the momentum of your first mission then maybe I'll give you two per day." He says slowly and I smile.

"So kind of you Miguel." I say and wink at him.

He rolls his eyes making me grin, oooh I love a challenge...

"Entonces Miguel estas soltero o que...." I ask looking up at him, lightly fluttering my lashes at him. (So Miguel are you single or what)

"Get out-"

"Alright alright cálmate- it was just a simple question." I say in an innocent tone biting my lip to not smirk or laugh. (calm down)

He gives me a look and I just ignore it, keeping my eyes on to his pretty crimson ones awaiting an answer. "Why don't you look over some reports for me?" He says and I finally let out a laugh.

"Sure." I respond then chuckle, shaking my head. This might be harder than I thought...

He goes up to his desk and grabs a handful of files, before explaining what I had to keep an eye for and correct or whatever, I wasn't sure, just looking at how huge he was while he rambled and looked at his screens.

I wanted to take another good and close look at him while his back was facing me. I've never seen any of those gym guys back home look like this- I mean he was on a whole other level of jacked and fine...

The muscles on his back extended and became more prominent with every movement and swipe he did on his screens only making me eyes widen and more thoughts coming in to mind.

He would look so fucking good hovering over me- towering over my body looking down at me with those eyes- god those eyes had something in them because I felt like every time I looked I was hooked and couldn't bare looking away for a single second.

The way his biceps were so toned and looked absolutely perfect because of his suit that laid on every curve flawlessly. Every inch of him was just incredible to look at and I might've been drooling a bit from how much I was gawking.

"Gatita pon atención." His voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I slightly jump before quickly gain my composure. Oops. (Pay attention)

"I am-" i retort and he scoffs. I bite my lip looking at the back of his head as he shakes it.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

"So why can't I go on the mission anymore?" I groan looking up at Miguel while he's typing away on a tablet with Lyla by his shoulder.

"I already told you." He mutters and I scoff.

"You didn't! You just told me I wasn't needed-"

"And I think that's good enough-"

"Well it isn't!" I exclaim and cross my arms against my chest, annoyed and confused.

He ignores me and doesn't even look at me, "Lyla tell Peter B to fill in-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!?" I scream and roll my eyes.

The fucking audacity of this man-

They keep talking to each other and I just close my eyes and take a deep breath in, because I unlike others know how to control my anger and annoyance. I hear Lyla's chirpy voice disappear and I open my eyes to immediately glare at him. He shakes his head, sighs then turns to me, "no hagas tus berrinches-" (don't throw your tantrums)

"Como no lo voy hacer si no me dejas ir a ayudar!! Estoy aquí para trabajar o no?!?" I retort and groan. (How am I not going to do it if you don't let me go and help!! Am I here to work or no?!?)

“You are-"

"Then???" I question and groan.

It's been a week since I got here and everyone's been cool and helpful. Except for him.

It was like he was my number one hater and couldn't fathom the fact that I was actually serious about wanting to help people. If he had his doubts why did he even bother let me join the society?

"You still don't trust me? Is that it?" I say and he stays quiet.

I roll my eyes and sigh, "I haven't even given you a reason not to." I mutter and walk out of his office.

"Then prove me wrong." I hear him mutter and just continue walking.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

I was sat on Miguel's desk waiting for him to get back from his mission to hand deliver him my first set of reports. I went over each other making sure everything was correct, slowly growing bored as he was dragging ass.

"Waiting for Miguel hun?" Lyla appears in front of me and I nod.

"He'll be a while more." She says and leans in looking at me intently.

"Jess said they were finishing up so i thought I'd wait." I say looking at her tiny body and she raises an eyebrow.

"You literally see the papers on me right now-" I say and she sticks a finger up shutting me up.

"I didn't accuse you of anything..." she responds making me scoff.

"But all of you are so paranoid for no reason anyway! I stopped my bullshit years ago." I mutter and cross my leg over the other.

"Then what about the flirting?" She asks widening her eyes and moves her face closer.

"That's just in my blood." I retort and shrug trying not to sound smug about it. I mean how could I resist?

She hums and closes an eye, widening the other just staring me down. I roll my eyes and play with a piece of my hair twirling it between my fingers while she's trying to read me, figure me out. I sigh and look at her, "well can you really blame me?"

Suddenly she snickers and shakes her head as I smirk and shrug again, no way she could deny it either....

"Hmm I guess." She says nonchalantly then we both turn to the entrance of Miguel's office to hear his footsteps.

She turns to me and puts her fingers to her lips and pretends to seal them then gives me a wink before turning to look at Miguel again, "kitty is here to see you."

I chuckle and hop off the desk as Miguel walks up to his platform and looks at me expectantly, I hold the reports up to him and he takes them from me quickly reading through them.

"Lyla mute all notifications for the next hour unless it's an absolute emergency." He tells her then looks back at me.

"Sure thing boss." She chirps, giving me a quick wink then disappears.

"You've been doing fairly decent..." he says almost hesitantly.

"Don't be so shocked Miguel, I'm obviously here to get work done." I say and shrug, straightening up.

"I see you are." He mutters and walks towards me then puts my stack of reports on the desk behind me.

I try my hardest to ignore our close proximity, knowing if I pay attention to it I will start having immediate thoughts I shouldn't be having.

"You've surprised me." He says looking down at me as we're merrily a few feet away from each other.

"How so?" I ask and cross my arms against my chest.

He shrugs and takes another step closer, I bite the inside of my cheek lightly and hold my breath looking up at him curiously. "Just thought you'd be a bigger problem for me."

That sounded like a double entendres.... interesting..

"I can behave when I want to." I say taking a step forward, getting closer to him and feeling my heart race.

"I find that hard to believe." He mutters making me smirk.

He didn't have to say another word. He wants a problem, he can get it.

I take the final step forward, our bodies so close to touching, I slowly bring a hand up to his neck then lightly trail along his collarbone. His breath hitches but he quickly regains composure, not moving nor pushing me away. I bring my other hand up and trail along his shoulders slowly.

Our eyes were locked the entire time but his eyes were softly fluttering and his chest was heaving the slightest bit. I smile sweetly at him and then bring my hands up to wrap them around his neck, removing the tiniest bit of space between us. I lean up a bit, lightly breathing against his lips, then lean in as if I was going to kiss him and only pulling away after our lips were millimeters apart. "Maybe I don't want to." I whisper and let our lips touch very lightly for a split second then pull away.

"Or maybe I do." I whisper then let go of him completely and take a step back looking at his very shocked expression.

"Cat got your tongue?" I tease making him groan.

He takes a step forward and wrapping his arm around my waist then turns me around. I gasp in shock then he quickly brings a hand up to my throat, making the back of my head hit his chest. His other arm was wrapped around my stomach as I felt his breath on my nose and a shiver travels down my body when his hand that was on my throat was off for a second to move my hair back. He leans down and leaves a soft kiss on my neck. Oh fuck.

He placed his hand back on my throat, barely squeezing making me wish he'd just apply a bit more pressure.  Sadly he doesn't read my mind but does leave more soft kisses up and down my neck making my heart beat out of my chest.

"Think you're hot shit teasing me like this gatita?" He growls in my ear making me bite my lip.

I squeeze my thighs together subconsciously rubbing my ass against his crotch. He groans and moves his hips, grinding himself against me. I let out a shaky breath and feel my eyes fluttering, he moves his hand from my stomach down to my thigh. He lightly squeezed the right one then moved to squeeze the left. "Tan bonita." He whispers in my ear making me moan. (so pretty)

Suddenly he lets go of me completely and I can no longer feel him on me, at all. I turn around seeing him with the cockiest smirk I've ever had the displeasure of having to look at and groan then roll my eyes. "Two can play at that game gatita." He teases as I clear my throat and give him a sweet smile.

"Then just make sure it's one you know you'll win." I say then walk out of his office feeling so empty and needy...

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

Anytime you had the opportunity to be alone with Miguel you took it, made sure to keep teasing him like he'd tease you.

At first it was innocent "accidental" touches like hands brushing against each other or even catching each others gaze.

Then it swiftly changed from that to you purposefully bending over to get something. As well as grinding yourself on him in crowded rooms to get past him.

He'd repay it back by snaking his arm around your waist then let his hands wander for a few seconds before letting go. At some point he couldn't handle all the teasing and would smack your ass whenever you both were alone.

You were going back and forth for days on end and it really shocked you considering he almost didn't even want you there, based on how Jess told you her conversation with him went.

But you were glad you were able to prove him wrong, and somehow were able to get him to flirt with you back, felt like a miracle considering what the other spiders were telling you about him. But you weren't going to complain.

Definitely won't complain.

I was coming back from my earth after finally deciding on giving my wig a go again, mostly because I loved the feeling of the long ponytail swinging back and forth when fighting. And for everyone's immersion since people were still staring.

Maybe I should fix up my other suit... though it's more fun to be in this one...

I shrugged my thoughts away and walk around, heading towards the training room simply minding my business when I walk past one of the many gyms and take a quick peek because my spidey senses went off.

I peep through the window and smirk, Miguel was in there. Perfect.

Impeccable timing.

I open the door and walk in, walking towards him then lean on the pull up machine Miguel was using and watch as he lifts himself up and down. The sweat glistening off his biceps and shoulders, absolutely perfection for my hungry eyes.

He continues his reps not paying attention to me at all which I didn't really mind, considering he was the perfect eye candy. I take a step back and walk behind him almost moaning at the sight, his back muscles and the way they were stretching and tightening with every movement.

It wasn't the first time I saw him shirtless but something about seeing his bare skin just had my mind and body going wild every time. He was different than any of the men I've ever seen or seduced back home which had me feeling excited because this was like brand new ground, or more so fresh meat. I couldn't help but want him.

I bite my lip and just stand there watching in awe and unable to peel my eyes from him. I take a step to the other end of the machine and lean against it, him still not stopping and letting out occasional grunts.

God he sounded as good as he looks...

He side eyes me and looked away before doing a double take and stopping, hanging off the machine for a second before letting go and standing in front of me with an eyebrow raised, letting out a chuckle then a smirk forming on his lips. "Silver looks good on you, gatita."

"Crees que si Miggy?" I ask and do an exaggerated little twirl then flip my hair back. (Think so?)

"Absolutamente." He breathes out making me smirk. (Absolutely)

"Thought everyone would like it." I say and give him an innocent smile.

I bat my lashes up at him as he grabs a towel from the bench behind us and wipes down the sweat from his forehead. He looks so fucking good.

I kept my eyes on his, fighting my dirty thoughts like wanting to trail down his body but somehow remaining focused on his eyes. "Nomas te encanta la atención huh?" He teased and I chuckle. (You just love the attention huh?)

I shrug them nod, "Tal ves... pero no creo que me puedes culpar..." I say and take a step closer to him, reaching a hand up to trail along his bicep. (Maybe... but I don't think you can blame me...)

"Menos porque agarre tu atención." I whisper and smile. (Especially because I got your attention)

"Siempre tienes mi atención gatita." He murmurs as he snakes his hands around my waist pulling me closer to him. (You always have my attention)

I felt my heart race as well as a familiar heat arose in my core, I needed him. Badly.

I wrap my arms behind his neck and look deeply into his eyes, he wants this just as much as I do. I can feel it.

I feel myself leaning in and watch as he does the same, our lips now millimeters apart from each other, craving for just a small taste. My stomach was fluttering as I felt him softly breathing on my nose, my face getting warm and I didn't even mind.

We both lean in at the same time, our lips finally meeting in a slow dance together. I couldn't help the small smile that popped up when he kissed me back softly, it felt so right.

Suddenly my spidey senses went off and I pulled away, taking my hands off him. I turn to look at the entrance of the gym and sure enough was Peter B Parker walking in mumbling to himself with Mayday chilling on his shoulder. I let out a disappointed sigh, shaking my head as I hear Miguel groan and see him gritting his teeth out of the corner of my eye.

I clear my throat and turn to him, "I guess I'll catch you soon."

I walk past Peter and lightly ruffing Mayday's hair then turn my head to look at Miguel giving him a wink before turning back and walk out.

So close.

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

You were assigned on a mission to capture a Kingpin who wasn't where he was meant to be, along with Peter B Parker who had accompanied you because he didn't have Mayday with him that day and apparently wanted some thrill on the random Wednesday night.

You were prepared and ready to do whatever it took to get him, and already mentally prepared to possibly use some charm if needed...

And you'd already escaped him once so surely you could capture just as easily as he did you.

"Peter what kind of surprise attack is that?!?" I yell and groan, swinging away from the hidden position I was in at the bank Kingpin was at. Peter just had to announce we were here...

"I couldn't help myself! The big guy was rambling on and on to himself-" Peter starts to defend himself but gets cut off by said big guy going in for a punch to his face but he quickly backs up and gasps.

"That was not cool-" Peter tells Kingpin, pointing a finger in his face then shoots balls of webs at his face making him growl.

"Y'know he's not the only one who rambles to himself..." i mutter and snort thinking of the events from yesterday.

"Oh yeah! Y'know I wanted to ask you about that, what's going on between you and Miguel?" He asks looking up to face me as I look down with an unamused look on my face.

Normally I would've told him, but after yesterday no fucking way!! How could a man be a cockblock like that and expect to still get gossip??

"Nothing..." I say casually and jump down from the railing and onto Kingpin's back.

He starts moving back and I climb up his long back and shoot out ropes of webs and wrap them around his throat. "Then why do his eyes light up every time you enter a room?" He says and folds his arms against his chest in front of us.

My eyes widen and I almost stop webbing when I snap myself out of it and shake my head, "do they now?"

"Maybe... maybe not but now curiosity's gonna kill the cat huh?" He teases and I roll my eyes. Devious little fucker.

"Well...." I start but Peter immediately opens his mouth. "Ha! I knew you wanted to spill-"

"Who the fuck is Miguel-" Kingpin breaths out and tries to pull on the webs which just makes me tug on them harder.

"Shut up!"

"Cállate pendejo!!" (Shut up asshole)

Peter then webs his entire body, swinging around all the empty space of the bank and making sure it was extra tight so he couldn't get away. I jumped off and stood in front of Kingpin who looked only slightly different than the one from my earth. Still had a huge ass body and annoying but he looked much younger.

"Easy!" Peter exclaims and pretends to wipe off dirt from his suit.

"So...." Hs says and wiggle his eyebrows at me.

I burst out laughing, shaking my head in disbelief that he wanted to know so badly. I mean surely he talked to Miguel after I left?

"So what Peter?" I ask and look down at my watch, pressing a few buttons and watch a portal spawn in front of us.

He grabs the ends of the rope and begins tugging Kingpin towards the portal. "Well obviously there's tension... there's something there." He says and I merrily smile.

"It's complicated but it makes perfect sense for us i guess." I respond and shrug walking into the portal with Peter following right behind me.

A portal opens at HQ, luckily right where we drop the anomalies to the go home machine. Some spiders jog over to us and put Kingpin in a force field cage before taking him away.

I sigh and turn around only to have Peter looking at me with narrowed eyes and his hands on his hips. "Peter-"

"I wanna know how bad I should feel for interrupting the moment yesterday." He says making me shake my head laughing.

"Peter it's fine-"

"Tell me."

I sigh and shrug, "I don't even know myself. I mean I guess we're both flirty?"

"So it's mutual?" He asks and I shrug again.

"Very interesting..." he says and brings a hand up to exaggeratedly pretend to rub his invisible beard.

"Yeah people keep saying that...." I say raising an eyebrow at him and he finally looks at me normally.

"Well I'd say give it a shot, grumpy men need some lovin' too y'know?" He replies with the most serious tone ever.

I chuckle and nod, "yeah I guess we'll see..."

"Just have patience with him." He says and I sigh.

"I will."

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ Ⳋ

You had a mission then another straight after, the first being a breeze but the second being much harder than expected.

A Doc Ock, much stronger than you had anticipated, and you thought you had it under control. You had to think fast to save yourself.

I widened my eyes when I felt a tentacle quickly grab me from behind, thinking I had maneuvered fast enough him to not catch me. I was wrong.

I groan as it slams me against a wall then makes another go to my throat and repeatedly punches me with a third. The tentacle around my body had a very tight grip on me, and i didn't have any choice but just to take it.

With every punch from the metal tentacle I felt more and more pain on my cheek and jaw, my skin felt hot, it was starting to sting and I could taste the blood in my mouth.

Thinking quickly and before losing consciousness, I have in mind of giving good ole Doc some bad luck. It usually took a while but right now I didn't have time so I just closed my eyes and thought of all the possible bad luck that could happen to this man right now.

My spider senses go off making my eyes shoot open as I look up to see a billboard above us falling down towards us. He raised an eyebrow at me and look up as well, his grip loosened for a singular second which was enough for me to slip out of his grasp before harshly pushing him out of the way.

We both fell a couple feet away as the billboard fell where we just were within seconds. I let out a deep breath before standing up and quickly use my webs to tie him up. I walk behind him as he groans and press a little button behind his neck and see as the tentacles detach from him.

I sigh and gather them before webbing them up together then press the buttons on my watch to spawn the portal. I grab him by his collar and make him stand up as I drag the tentacles by the end of my web.

I walk us through the portal and it opens up to where we put anomalies after capturing. A few spiders come up to me and quickly take him and putting him and his tentacles in a force field like cage.

I sigh and wipe my forehead, suddenly feeling the pain on my face. Shit.

I bring a hand up to my cheek and am instantly met with blood, i sniffle, slowly feeling some blood drip down onto my lip. I groan and quickly swing away heading to the medical center to put on some bandaids.

I drop down and walk in, looking for an available room to go in quick then leave. I make a turn and accidentally bump into someone. "My bad." I mumble not looking up and went around whoever I bumped into until I'm yanked back.

I yelp then look up to see Miguel and sigh, "Oh sorry Miguel-"

He looks at me for a millisecond before interrupting, "Come with me." He grabs my hand leading me towards a room.

I groan but follow anyway, not really having a choice since he was practically dragging me with him. He peeps through a door then walks in with me right behind him. He lets go of my hand and motions for me to sit down, which I oblige not really in a mood to argue or protest.

He quickly collects stuff from a cabinet then walks back to me. He puts the alcohol, bandages and gauze down next to me before bringing a hand up to my face slowly. His fingers grab my mask gently, and he peels it off making me groan as I bring a hand to the bridge of my nose. I feel his hand gently on my chin, moving it up, "it's not that bad..." I mutter, mostly trying to convince myself that the pain could be worse.

I lightly bite my lip, tasting the blood as I look up at his eyes, trying so hard to not look worried. He looks away and grabs the bottle of rubbing alcohol and putting some on a gauze pad. I sigh and place my hands on my lap as he brings the pad up to my forehead hesitantly. "I can handle it Miguel." I say looking into his eyes again.

He nods and places it on the wide wound I had along my forehead, remembering how many other bruises and slashes I had was the only thing distracting me from the stinging of the alcohol. Soon enough the pad was off and he had opened a bandage and placed it over the wound before gently placing a hand along my jaw and looking at my cheek.

He pulls away and gets another pad, adding alcohol to it then looks into my eyes. I nod slowly and he puts the pad against my cheek, it instantly burning making me fight back tears and a groan. He bit his lip fully concentrated as he wiped along the wound carefully and I couldn't help but think of how gorgeous he was. At a time like this?

Well to be honest I couldn't think of a better scenario for us.

He places the bloody pad down and opens another bandage, it being slightly bigger this time and gently placed it on my cheek. He sighs and rubs his finger against the bandage softly, making me melt into his touch. "The rest are just little scratches, but take a rest day tomorrow, I'm not giving you any missions and it's not up for debate." He says sternly and I just sigh.

"I guess..." I mumble and he pulls his hand away making me frown.

It felt nice.

A silence filled the room as we looked at each other, my mind going straight to our short lived kiss from the other day. His lips were so soft and warm, I had still felt their touch lingering after I pulled away and there's nothing I've wanted more than to feel them again. It's all I've been thinking about even on missions, it's always in the back part of my mind.

I couldn't help it, out of all the men I've flirted with in the past he was just different than all of them combined. He was attentive, and stern but sweet when he wanted to be. I've grown closer to him in the past few weeks and even if it's unexpected for everyone, for me it feels great. It feels right and I couldn't get him out of my head if i wanted to.

With the way he was looking at me I felt like he was thinking about it as well. Lips parted staring down at my own while I looked at his eyes then down at his lips. I lightly bit mine and feel a sense of nervousness in my stomach. This effect he has on me was intense. Now more than ever.

He cleared his throat making me look back up to his eyes, his pretty crimson eyes that I could stare into forever if I could. "How are you feeling?"

I shrug and clear my throat as well trying to hide my thoughts, "I'm fine, just hurts a little." I say making him nod.

Another silence.

He coughed and took a step back, his eyes seemed almost worried which had me a tad bit confused, my wounds weren't too bad and I know he has had worse. Unless.... he was starting to care?

"I'm serious about no missions tomorrow-"

"I know."

He sighs and folds his arms across his chest, this almost feels like it's going to turn into a lecture. Or something along those lines...

"What's bothering you Miguel?" I ask and he shakes his head.

Right as he opens his mouth I interrupt him knowing he'll try to lie, "No digas que nada porque ya te conozco mejor." I say and point a finger at him. (Don't say nothing because now I know you better)

He shakes his head again and sighs, I raise an eyebrow and feel my heart beat faster as he takes a step closer to me. "I just-"

He sighs and faces me, looking me directly in the eye, "I can't get you out of my mind and I hate it."

I bite my lip and nod, "I haven't stopped thinking of that kiss," I say and reach out to grab his arm, pulling him towards me, "but I don't hate it." I whisper and spread my legs so he can stand right between.

"Gatita..." he murmurs and I just hum, innocently wrapping my legs around his waist and pull him in as closely as I could.

"We shouldn't...." He whispers looking away, but I took notice of the redness in his cheeks and the way he wasn't shoving me away as a good sign.

"But you want to.." I whisper back and he sighs.

I bring my hands up and wrap them behind his neck, making him visibly breathe harder, "estas bien Miguel... just let me..." I whisper inches away from his lips. (You're okay)

I then lean in and peck his lips, testing the waters out, when I felt him kiss back I started kissing him with no worries. I felt his hands go down to my thighs, lightly squeezing as I brought mine up to his chest.

He squeezed my inner thigh and with the other hand brought it up to cup my cheek, kissing me so gently. I trace around his chest and trail up to his collarbone when he pulls away making me pout but he moved my head back and to the side. His lips then latched on to my neck making me gasp at the quickness he was moving but it was perfect.

He leaves kisses all over my skin while one hand continued squeezing my thigh and the other was now by my lower back, sneaking it's way down to my ass. I let out a sigh and bring my hands up to grip his curls as he chooses a spot for him to mark.

"Am I a problem for you now?" I ask out of breath and bite my lip to fight off the laughter.

He groans and pulls away to look at me, i fight back the urge to laugh as he rolls his eyes then sheepishly smiles. I grin and pull him in for another kiss which he doesn't complain about.

Until he pulls away and grabs me carefully, making me step off the bed, bringing me down to my knees. I fight back a moan and look up at him, batting my lashes at him.

Suddenly the lower half of his suit disappears and with that revealing his cock. Long and thick, already dripping precum as it sprung up and hit his stomach. My eyes were wide and I may as well have been drooling. Wow.

I quickly get to work, grabbing the base of it and licking off the precum that was falling off to the side and down a vein. I lick it off slowly while looking him directly in the eyes, making him moan and tilt his head back.

I smile, going back up to the tip I give it a few kisses before sticking my tongue out and lightly slap it on my tongue. "No juegues conmigo gatita-" he says and I pout. (Don't play with me)

"De verdad ya estas tan desesperado?" I tease and he groans. (Are you really already so desperate?)

"Me vas a matar-" he mutters but I cut him off by taking him on my mouth, slowly taking him in. (You're gonna kill me)

He moans and shakes his head then groans, "Tómalo- tómalo todo gatita-" (Take it, take it all)

I take more of him, feeling my mouth already be filled and I was barely getting halfway. I controlled my breathing as best as I could and took another inch, now feeling his tip nearing my throat.

I move my head back and forth, trying to keep up a decent pace but considering how thick he was, I was struggling. But he didn't seem to mind.

Suddenly he thrusts his hips making me gag on it and I quickly pull back then move my head forward taking as much of him as I could take down my throat. He moans and I feel his hands on my head, making me stay in place.

He groans then lets me go as I pull it out of my mouth and showcase all the drool that was dribbling down my mouth and on to my suit. I slap it on my tongue again then give him a wide smile as I wipe the drool from my chin.

Then back to business I take his cock in my mouth and start deep throating him again, feeling more comfortable now. I look up at him and see him with his mouth open, letting out groans then biting his lip. He is fucking incredible.

"God I can't believe this is finally happening- you have no idea how many times I've thought about this- just s-stroking myself thinking of y-you on your k-knees like this." He confesses and grabs my hair, pushing me deeper. "Just for me." He breathes out and groans.

I moan against him and squeeze my thighs feeling the arousal between my legs swirl around in my panties. He's stroked himself thinking of me on my knees? I couldn't believe what he just said, am I dreaming? How is this real? How'd I get so lucky?

I move my head faster and kept my hands to my sides as i made sure to take every inch of him. How could I disappoint him after he's had wet dreams about me? I couldn't do that...

I close my eyes, feeling them brink with tears as he now started to fuck my throat slowly. The little hairs at the end of his happy trail tickling my nose every time he thrusted all the way and stayed there a few seconds.

He groaned and continued thrusting into my mouth still holding onto my hair like it were helping him. I just let him and felt myself growing more and more wet as this continued on.

I open my eyes and feel a few tears slip but then notice Miguel's legs were shaking and he was slowing down. I felt giddy that was I able to take him and make him cum when he suddenly pulls away, slipping himself out of my mouth making me whine. "Miguel you were about to-"

"I don't care-" he growls and reaches down, grabbing my arms pulling me up with him.

He then turns me around and bends me over the bed making me yelp. He moves my hair to the side and starts undoing my suit. He zips it down as fast but carefully as he could and when it got down to the bottom which was by my lower back, his hands quickly came up to start taking it off.

His hands went straight to my shoulders peeling the spandex off as i was taking it off my fingers, god this suit was so frustrating.

He groans as I fumble with the spandex on my right hand and I bite my lip, "How mad would you be if I ripped your suit?" He asks and I scoff.

"You mean my only suit?" I say and finally manage to slip it off every finger.

He groans again and takes the sleeves off my arms then brings it down my body slowly as I lift myself up a bit. He's taking it off my stomach, then down to my hips when I head him take a deep breath when he finally brings it up and over my ass revealing my red thong.

I then feel a hard smack against it making me jump and moan,  fuck.

"Te gusta eh?" He teases and I feel myself melt into the bed, speechless and in awe. (You like that)

He's so perfect-

"Contéstame." He demands then gives me another smack, this one stinging more than the first, leaving my legs shaking a bit. (Answer me)

"Si- si me gusta..." I whine and lay my face into the bed. (Yes- yes I like it...)

"No fallas de sorprenderme gatita." He murmurs and gently rubs my ass. (You don't fail to surprise me)

I move my head to the side and chuckle, "Es bueno verdad?" I ask quietly and he hums. (That's good right?)

"Ni te imaginas..." he responds and blows a bit of air against my aching cunt. (you can't even imagine...)

I take a deep breath in, not at all prepared for whatever he has in mind. I didn't think we'd ever actually get anywhere near this...

But I couldn't deny how happy I felt that it was happening...

Definitely worth the wait.

"Estas tan hermosa gatita." He whispers and I felt a kiss against the back of my thigh. (You're so gorgeous)

My cheeks immediately grow warm and I just sigh, feeling his fingers slip onto my folds. I feel my eyes flutter as he continues his slow movements, tormenting me. "Miguel por favor." I whine and move my hips up, needing more. (please)

"Paciencia nena." He coos softly and teases my entrance with the tip of his finger. (Patience baby girl)

"Please-" I whine, earning myself a hard smack against my ass.

A whimper escapes my lips when he suddenly slips a finger inside, excruciatingly slow. But how the hell could a singular finger feel so fulfilling? Even if he wasn't moving it yet...

I close my eyes and bring my ass up, making sure to arch my back with my head still against the bed. "Good girl." He whispers softly and adds a second finger.

I couldn't help the moans that came out as he slowly starts to finger fuck me, my arousal enveloping his fingers as he starts to pump them faster. I didn't think his fingers would feel this fucking good otherwise I would've tried harder to get him to fuck me. I feel myself clench against his fingers with my thighs shaking to top it off.

"Miguel~"

He hums and pushes them deeper then curling them up to hit that spot that has me practically seeing stars. I let out some whimpers and let myself be fully indulged in the moment.

I lazily lay down, ass still somewhat in the air with him still fucking me but now my stomach was now directly on the bed. His fingers continued going deep but he was going faster now and it was getting hard to control the noises that left my mouth.

Deep down I didn't care if we were caught, i don't think either of us would want to stop, but still I knew I should keep my volume somewhat quiet. Especially considering we were in the medical area where there's likely to be tons of spiders getting fixed up.

And the fact that we definitely shouldn't be doing this here specifically...

My thoughts are cut short when I don't feel his fingers inside me anymore, giving Miguel my full undivided attention I turn my head around to look at him, "What the fuck-"

My breath hitches in my throat when I feel the tip of his cock rubbing against my wet folds. I feel my pussy clench onto absolutely nothing as he continues swirling his tip with my arousal. "Miguel-" I breathe out, letting out a shaky moan.

"So fucking soaked." He mutters under his throat and moves his tip down to my aching clit.

He rubs circles against it instantly earning himself whimpers slip out from me. I move my head back facing forward again, covering my mouth and biting my lip as an extra precaution but it was so hard being quiet when he was teasing me like that. "Fuck-" he moans as he positions himself, now feeling his tip by my entrance.

He pushed into me slowly making me bite my hand, really trying my hardest to stay quiet. After the past weeks we've been tormenting each other and all the possible sexual tension that's been building, he was finally fucking me. I finally had him where I wanted him all along and it was so fucking good. Perfect even.

I was able to feel myself stretch around him and he just felt better than I'd have ever imagined. He stretched me out but fit oh so perfectly and it was as if he was a missing puzzle I so desperately needed.

He grunted as he buttomed out and brought his hands down to my hips, helping me bounce against him. I lifted my lower half up, now no longer lazily laying down. He digs his fingers into my skin as he pulls back then slams right back into me.

I let out a whimper as he moaned and finally started moving, at first slowly fucking into me before he suddenly started pounding into me. I cried against my hand and bit my lip again, it's like he wanted me to make noise, or to let us get caught.

Not this time.

He let out strings of groans and moans as he continued his fast pace, not having a care in the world if we're heard. "Me estás tomando tan bien gatita." He moaned out and left a hard smack against my ass. (You're taking me so well)

I whimpered and felt myself clench against him, making the both of us moan at the same time. I was already noticing my vision get blurry and my legs feeling like jelly all while he thrusted his hips into me not ever stopping or slowing down but instead going harder.

"Shit! Miguel- se siente tan rico-" I whine and press my cheek against my hands now freely letting out moans. Fuck it. (feels so good)

"Ya se mami, ya se." He groans and I feel one of his hands grasp onto my ponytail. (I know, I know)

He pulls my hair tugging it a bit so I move my head back making him moan and completely stop, but buried deep inside me. I whimper at the loss of his pounding but then gasp as he brings me up carefully with his other hand and letting go of my hair.

I was now sitting up right on my knees with him still inside me, I felt a shiver run through my body as he brought his arms up and wrapped them around my waist. "You're so beautiful." He whispers in my ear, leaving a small kiss against my neck.

He brings a hand down to my stomach, right where the bulge of him was. He presses lightly making me sigh and lay my head against his hard chest. "You feel so perfect baby." He murmurs and I bite my lip then bring my hands to wrap them around his arms for stability.

"Y te ves tan perfecta." He purrs making me melt into him. (And you look so perfect)

"Miguel-"

"Shh..." he hushes and moved the hand from my stomach and brings it up, grazing my skin softly.

His hands lands on to my left breast, he squeezed it gently then moved his hips back. I sigh and grip onto his arms as he slams back into me making me moan in surprise. "Mi-"

Finally deciding where to leave his hands over my body he starts moving again, thrusting his hips into me as he holds a steady grip on my body. My tits bounced in the same rhythm he was fucking me and it already felt so overstimulating. He pinched my left nipple and moaned out sweet little nothings into my ear as he kept his pace and making sure I wouldn't just drop onto the bed.

His body towered over me even though I was on top of the bed, taking notice of his size compared to mine was starting to make my head spin. He was just so tall and wide, buff even, I was much smaller compared to him and it made me shake in pure excitement. I've never had a man of his stature just ravage me like he was doing right now and that thought alone was pushing me closer and closer to the edge.

"Just like that Miguel-" I breathe out but then feel a hand against my throat cutting me off.

"Fuck baby you're taking me so well." He groans and lightly squeezes my throat.

What sounded like a muffled whimper slipped from my lips making his hand around my waist grip me tighter. He rammed into me as if there was no tomorrow and I gladly let him. In what world would I tell him to stop?

"This is what you wanted isn't it gatita? Hmm?" He grunts and I nod.

"Just needed me to manhandle you and take you how I want." He mutters and another combination of a cry and moan leaves my lips. Holy fuck-

The mixed sounds of our joint moans of pleasure and him senselessly pounding into me filled my ears and I couldn't think of better things I could possibly listen to.

His hold on me made it seem as if he thinks I'd disappear out of thin air if he let me go, it wasn't a complaint more of an observation that had me squeezing his arms, needing him as close to me as possible.

He finally let go of my throat which made me breathe in then pant followed by whines as he snaked that hand down to my clit, rubbing slow circles against it. My back arches against him and I subconsciously tilt my head to the side which he quickly took advantage of and latched his lips onto my neck.

He sucked feverishly and I felt my eyes flutter at the overstimulation. He moans against my skin before licking the new branded mark. I bring a hand up to his face and look up at him, as if reading my mind he smashed his lips onto mine in a needing passionate kiss.

I kissed back as best as I could, feeling my legs slowly give up on me but his grip on me never loosened and his pace now slowing down. I felt him twitch inside me and i quickly felt my orgasm approaching, that all too familiar feeling in my tummy that has made my legs become a shaking mess and my sex leaving a creamy ring against Miguel's base with every thrust.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I tried to match his energy but that knot in my stomach was ready to explode. And it did.

My walls pulsating against him as my orgasm washed over my entire body, leaving me a shaking mess on him. I let out cries in his mouth as he gently held on to me and moaned into my mouth as well, feeling him shoot ropes of his warm cum deep inside me. He pulled away and gently pecked my lips which i happily reciprocated.

We pulled away, he leaned his forehead against my head as we both caught our breath. I felt my heartbeat calm down as he held me now gently. I didn't even notice when his hand moved from my clit to properly hold me but I just ignored it and melted into his arms.

He then slips out of me making me whimper at the empty feeling but look down to see his cum oozing out of me and onto the poor medical bed. I stifle a laugh and look into Miguel's eyes, he was already looking at me. I feel my cheeks burn up and I can't help but sheepishly grin, him returning it back.

He lets me go and sets me down on the edge of the bed then sits down next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I instantly snuggle up to his chest making him move his arms to wrap them around my body.

"You did so good gatita." He whispers and I nod, my breathing now completely normal but now feeling butterflies all over my skin.

"It was about time, don't ya think?" I joke quietly and he laughs.

I sigh and just listen to the thumps of his heartbeat as he caresses my hair gently and leaves kisses on the top of my head. He really was perfect.

[rottenpumpkin13]

I just wanted to say (bc I saw the problem with ppl being attacked through asks) I genuinely love your posts. They cheer me up. At first I saw your acc bc my friend thought huh strange someone has the same name, age, interest, and pronouns as me and legit asked if it was me. Since being introduced (for context I work a corporate 9-5 job) every time I see notifications of you posting I’m running to see. You’re honestly one of my favorite accounts. I hope you’re doing okay. Taking the necessary rest/recovery.💗

I randomly clicked on a blog that liked one of my posts one day and saw "Elle, 22, she/they" in the bio 😚 I wonder if it was you, because if not we need to make an "Elle, 22, she/they" club immediately because there might be more of us lol

I've gotten my fair share of rude anons this year, but nothing recently. I try not to reply to them both for my sake and that of the people who come onto my blog because they want a mini escape from whatever it is that they're going through, so maybe that's why it's cooled down a bit. People tell me this blog cheers them up, so I take it seriously and try to make it a fun place, and that's what it was for me up until a while ago.

Lately it seems that everyone is having to deal with what looks like one very pathetic person who is so desperate for attention that they feel the need to try and disrupt everyone's peace. It's sad—sad for the person who has such a disgusting personality that they feel the need to do this, and mostly sad for people I care about getting hit with this wave of senseless hate.

And it shouldn't be like this. People should have the right to exist in their safe space without armor and a sword to fight off trolls and people who make fandom uninhabitable. I should have the right to post my stuff without being told to "stop polluting the tags." Person X should have the right to post without fearing they're saying something wrong. Person Y should be able to share what makes them happy without feeling unsafe in their own community. Person Z should be able to enjoy fandom without dealing with drama spurred by hateful people. And yet here we are. The block button is there. If you don't like someone, you don't have to interact with them. Plain and simple.

I started feeling burnt out a while ago, but it has nothing to do with anon hate or anything of the sort. I guess it's a culmination of my irl problems spiralling out of control this year coupled with stuff I've experienced on here ever since I started this blog. I think the only thing keeping me here is people still sending asks (because talking to you guys is so much fun), and the really great friendships I made through this fandom.

Thanks for checking in 💚

[essayist-unexpectedly]

First, I'm sorry for my grammer, English isn't my first language.

I just watched the final movie and re-read the manga. I have to say I hate Hiragi... he purposefully took Ue away, even though he knew that Yuki neglected Mafuyu bc of the band... He knew of Mafuyu's past, and that Yuki saved him from his abusive father, still, he took away Mafuyu's boyfriend- again. And when Shize told Mafuyu that he should break up with Ue and the band? Mafuyu, who has separation anxiety and PTSD is on the breaking point and his "friends" are being horrible to him. Both knew that Yuki was being neglectful and horrible to Mafuyu and they did nothing, despite being also his "friends".

And the last chapter, when Hiragi is like "If you want him back, be better", is just as horrible. Because it sounds like that Mafuyu has to be better at music in order to have his boyfriend. In my mind, both should have stayed away from Mafuyu. Now, 10 years later, Mafuyu still "competes" with another band in order to spend time with his boyfriend. I think that this will break their relationship. At some point, Mafuyu and Ue will reach a breaking point bc they still seem not able to honestly talk about their emotions with each other. Hiragi could have found another guitar player in the 10 YEARS easily! He purposely tries everything so Mafuyu can't escape again, it doesn't matter to him if this breaks Mafuyu's relationship. Again. Think about how angry Mafuyu was when Hiragi said that Ue is their guitar player for the near future. He was furious, bc he is worried that history will repeat itself. And that could cause a self-fullfilling prophecy. If he thinks his worst nightmare would come true he will behave like it will. He will resent Ue and the rest and then it might come actually true.

What many people seem to forget: Mafuyu was abused by his father (who would always hit him when he talks), in toxic relationship with his first boyfriend which ended in his death, which Mafuyu thought for a long time is his fault. And when he found love again he was frightened that a simple fight will result in death, again. Hiragi goes through the world without any thought. He is egotistic and doesn't think about anyone else, he wanted to form Syh so he could bind Shizu to him. Shizu is his exact opposite, he only thinks about Hiragi (which is also toxic, bc he would do anything for him, even don't pursue dreams of his own). Hiragi doesn't think about Mafuyu (he said so when he gave Mafuyu the ticket). Shizu knew that Mafuyu would feel that way and did nothing. How disillusioned do you have to be to force the new boyfriend to complete the love song of the exboyfriend? Hiragi did it because he wanted to know how they would sound. Purely selfish reasons. Ue's sister got it in a heartbeat that this would be torture.

okay - so first and foremost, completely valid to hate Hiiragi, I am not one to tell someone they have to like a character. that is until they dislike them because of common mischaracterization - so, I'll give out my own interpretation of Hiiragi here! also - sorry this is coming so late, I've been quite busy (essay's I upload here are all written in advance, asks can take a little longer to get to)

also, warning in advance, this is a long one!

So the first thing to address is Hiiragi's reaction to Uenoyama - especially his thoughts when he finds out he is dating Mafuyu. To preface this, Hiiragi and Mafuyu view each other as little siblings - at one point Hiiragi claims to see Mafuyu as a younger brother, Mafuyu is said to claim Hiiragi is like a little sister, and one of the first lines in the Hiiragi mix is that they were more like brothers than friends. Hiiragi idolized the relationship that Yuki and Mafuyu had, believing that they were truly in love and perfect together. This made Hiiragi fairly hostile when Mafuyu introduced Uenoyama as his boyfriend, he's protective over Mafuyu - who he once stated he viewed like a younger brother - and he was likely shocked that the other was already dating somebody new. Him 'taking' Uenoyama away wasn't him trying to steal someone from Mafuyu, it was more akin to him trying to see what Mafuyu saw in Uenoyama - a test of worthiness in a way. Was this action the most thought out? No, not at all and it hurt many people, but Hiiragi didn't have outright bad intentions within this actions. He is protective of Mafuyu, and he wanted to see what Uenoyama was like because of his high standards. Also, this includes Hiiragi requesting Uenoyama to finish Yuki's song - he knew that Uenoyama was the only one who could understand fully that love for Mafuyu that Yuki was sharing through the song. He wasn't purposefully trying to hurt Uenoyama, rather he was trying to heal in a way that isn't the most conventional - while also trying to help Mafuyu. The song being finished meant that Yuki's voice would be heard, and the best person to do so was Uenoyama. Hiiragi recognized this and when he finally found out that Uenoyama is good, he was able to trust this task to him. It wasn't necessarily the right thing to do, it was incredibly taxing for Uenoyama, but that doesn't change that it was him trying to heal.

Onto Hiiragi knowing Mafuyu's past - does he actually know about the abuse by his father? This isn't something that's confirmed within the manga nor anime, rather it almost appears like they could have met after Yuki had already gotten Mafuyu's father arrested. While it may have come out at some point, Hiiragi doesn't necessarily know about the issues that he has which stem from his father. As for Mafuyu's past with Yuki - yes, Hiiragi watched it go down, but he by no means had the same perspective as Mafuyu had. Again, Hiiragi had on some heavily rose-tinted glasses when it came to his view on the duo, as he thought that they were perfect for each other, not noticing the toxicity within their codependency. Hiiragi didn't realize the full extent of the neglect that was happening between Yuki and Mafuyu, which can be hard to spot, but even harder when close to the people in the relationship and idolizing it because it seemed so perfect. After Yuki's death, Mafuyu disappeared - not because Hiiragi didn't try to reach out, he was clearly distraught about Mafuyu's distance when they finally see each other again. Rather, Mafuyu purposefully distanced himself from both Hiiragi and Shizusumi, not allowing himself to grieve with them because of his own deep depression and guilt. Hiiragi does not know the full extent of Mafuyu's trauma, he cannot know it because he is not Mafuyu, and he can't know the full extent of someone else's mental state.

As for the idea of Hiiragi 'stealing' both Yuki and Uenoyama for SYH. The founder of SYH was Yuki, not Hiiragi. He was eager to join and play, but he was not the one who started the band. He could not have stolen Yuki when Yuki was the one who first started to play guitar and fell in love with music. This also applies to Shizusumi, Hiiragi himself didn't recruit or force him into the band, he agreed to play in it because of Hiiragi, yes, but he still chose to join. The original SYH trio were not forced into the band by Hiiragi, Yuki started the band and Shizusumi chose to join to stay close to Hiiragi. Nobody here was stolen, Hiiragi was simply eager to join the band and was happy to play with his friends. This includes when rehearsals increased, Yuki was in on that too, he was completely able to choose whether or not he would increase practises and he chose to do so because of his passion for music. The one who 'stole' Yuki from Mafuyu was not Hiiragi but Yuki himself, as his passion for music was at an all time high. As for stealing Uenoyama - no, Hiiragi and Shizusumi approached Uenoyama and Hiiragi asked him to play for them. Uenoyama agreed because he thought it sounded fun. Hiiragi did not force Uenoyama to play for them, rather he asked him to because they hadn't found a permanent guitarist for SYH after Yuki's death. Uenoyama gets so focused on music that he starts to unconsciously focus on SYH instead of his relationship with Mafuyu. Uenoyama himself acknowledges that he was brushing off Mafuyu for the band, he takes responsibility for his actions, just as Hiiragi does when it happens and he realizes. They both see themselves as in the fault, and when Hiiragi says he 'stole' another one of Mafuyu's boyfriends, it's not that he actually stole them, it's the guilt eating him up and therefore his view on the situation. So while Hiiragi did recruit Uenoyama, he had a choice about whether or not he would join and he chose to join. Uenoyama because of this choice, also accidentally neglects Mafuyu, just shows that nobody is perfect. This includes at the ending, when he says that he already got permission to borrow Uenoyama from higher ups, yes he goads Uenoyama into doing it, but in the end it's still a choice that Hiiragi gives him. Uenoyama could've refused, but he agrees to play with them.

A little on Mafuyu's reaction to Hiiragi choosing Uenoyama as the fill in guitarist - he never gets angry at Hiiragi. Mafuyu's reaction is fear that he is once again allowing a relationship to fall apart, he recognizes that he cannot speak up and he grows fearful because of his own issues, not because of Hiiragi's actions. Mafuyu is mute, he is this way because of trauma. He isn't always mute, but when overwhelmed or falling back into old fears, he is mute. Even when he can bring himself to speak, Mafuyu isn't always able to express himself - that is what happens when he realizes that history has repeated itself with Uenoyama joining SYH. Then, when he finally does confront Uenoyama - essentially proposing as Hiiragi claims - Mafuyu shows his determination to continue playing. Never does he actually show anger. Even when Hiiragi secures Uenoyama as their replacement guitarist for even longer, Mafuyu appears more flustered than angry. Him and Hiiragi clearly have a relationship built on banter, teasing each other ruthlessly - with Mafuyu being just as bad as Hiiragi is. So when Hiiragi comes back with approval to continue to use Uenoyama as their backup guitarist, Mafuyu's reaction is less actual anger, and more flustered annoyance, more of their sibling dynamic than anything else.

Then the bit on Shizusumi. While yes, he did recognize that Mafuyu wasn't doing great when Uenoyama joined SYH, he also appears to have thought that the other two also noticed and were working on it. Shizusumi had figured that at least Hiiragi would notice the pattern repeating itself, not realizing that Hiiragi was caught up in music and didn't notice. He doesn't account for the human fault of being unable to read the mind of someone who is distant and can put up a pretty convincing facade of emotionlessness. Shizusumi's fault is that he also doesn't always realize when he needs to speak up - again, he thought that it was pretty clear what was going on and that therefore the other two would have noticed. Nobody is purposefully at fault in this situation. Rather, this is just good writing of flawed teenagers, Hiiragi isn't egotistical, he's passionate and unable to read a situation all the time, and Shizusumi isn't apathetic or uncaring of Mafuyu, he simply doesn't know when to step in or point out a bad situation. This is just common teenage idiocy, a typical miscommunication trope between the entire group.

Ten years later when Uenoyama is still playing with SYH also seems like a choice. I haven't read the 10th year mix really, but from what I could tell Uenoyama was still enjoying playing with SYH. If he wanted to quit, he probably could, but there isn't a problem with him still playing with them. Given is still around, and Uenoyama is still happily a member there as well, with him and Mafuyu lovingly fighting over their music - which is stated to be good for them and part of why their relationship is still working, them not budging and being stubborn shows they love each other and their music, unwilling to bend because that could be a sign of fading passion. If Uenoyama is shown to be handling playing for both bands, not quitting as SYH's guitarist, then I don't think we need to question his choices. Also, Mafuyu is shown to be extremely close with Hiiragi and Shizusumi, going to them when he and Uenoyama fight and he needs a temporary escape, and even having a room in their apartment - likely thanks to Hiiragi. Overall, the quartet seem to have a good and healthy relationship, stronger than seen within the manga.

again, I cannot stop you from hating Hiiragi or possibly disliking Shizusumi. I have tried to show another side to these characters and the situations they go through, because it's important to try to see it from all sides. these characters are flawed teenagers, they aren't perfect and they aren't supposed to be. Hiiragi has faults - plenty of them - but not everything bad is his fault. his actions that hurt people are accidents, not purposefully calculated actions meant to alienate Mafuyu and bring misery to Uenoyama and Mafuyu's relationship or mental health. I hope to at least have shown a different side to these characters, but in the end your thoughts are your own.

also, I want to apologize again for the lateness of this reply. I've had a lot to do, and I wanted to address this fully, so it took me quite a while to finish up - like a few days of working on this in between assignments!

[apiscircensis]

dunmeshi au for my twst ocs bc I fell head first in the dungeon and got brain damage

[edit: a whole wall of text under the cut]

ok so this is set in the dunmeshi world but it's a separate story, unrelated to the main plot and characters

Shipwreck Cove is a dungeon on a cliff by the sea, near a coastal town. it's impossible to reach it by sea, as it's surrounded by constant whirlpools, the only way to get in is by climbing to the highest point of the cliff

great part of it's inner structure is submerged or surrounded by water, but it's still frequented by many adventurers bc the water that flows to the upper levels seems to have slight curative properties. legend says the water at the heart of the dungeon can heal incurable illnesses or even grant eternal life

🦑 Morgan (gnome) has been lord of the dungeon for something around ten years. his original wish is a secret

he was once an adventurer. he's an experienced mage both at healing magic and offensive spells (and has also studied the darks in secret), but his weak legs slowed down the party, who had no qualms in letting him know so, either by reproaching him or straight up letting him fall behind

one day, angry and frustrated, Morgan abandoned his party and ventured deeper into the dungeon by himself. by the time he noticed, he had reached the deepest level and, well, things happened

Morgan has severe abandonment issues. he created the quaintest little dungeon to lock himself in with his close circle. it was a beautiful and safe place, so that people could come and go at their leisure

soon enough, Morgan started feeling like people went more than they came back, so he started tweaking the dungeon bit by bit to discourage people from roaming. changing pathways, setting traps, creating more monsters. generally making it increasingly harder to navigate, until it became practically inhabitable except for the designated safe area, which was still pretty much a little eden

his resentment was such that he would find a way to make people part of the dungeon itself

at some point, tired of his body and of his lack of power over others, he turned himself into a kraken chimera, sealed his demon in a chest immediately afterwards, and has since then lived locked up with the few people he could trap in a wrecked ship at the deepest point of the dungeon, guarded by an ever larger kraken (that's his pet that he feeds other monsters and hapless adventurers to lol)

[only one person was ever able to escape Morgan's dungeon, an elf that used to be his closest confidant. however, just as they were about to step out, Morgan stole and sealed their magic in a locket that he keeps somewhere in his ship-home

this elf lives in a secluded area further than the outskirts of town, where they welcome adventurers to whom they offer incredible things in exchange of them traveling and conquering the dungeon, with the intention of getting back their powers that way]

🐒 Blake (tallman) and 🎇 Jacob (dwarf) are a pair of adventurers that hate each other yet have been working together for years lmao

they're quite successful in their expeditions but they're insufferable, so they're always looking for new members for their party bc the previous ones got fed up and left sksksk

they arrived at Shipwreck Cove following the legend of the water of life, each of them for their own reasons

(I still haven't decided if monkey Jacob exists in this au)

⚫ Avon and ⚪ Alba are a pair of walking mushrooms that are always together. they're funny to look at from afar, but they have a nasty vibe when you get close so adventurers prefer avoiding them

Morgan enjoys watching them tussle, so when more people started going in the dungeon he made them an area where they can still be seen while being out of reach enough from strangers. they've become some sort of a local attraction

(I originally thought to make them half foot florists, but a friend came up with this idea and I thought it was so funny that I adopted it lol)

🕰️ Eri (elf) is an historian. he feels a fascination for the short lived races, so he moves to different towns for periods at a time to document the daily lives of those who live and pass through there

🌻Lucas (kobold) is more of an explorer than an adventurer. he and 🛰️ Xander (dwarf), an inventor, travel the world together looking for strange materials and objects for Xander's experiments

🐻 Björn (tallman, bear beastkin) is an adventurer from the north that likes showing off his strength. he travels from one place to another looking for new challenges and creatures to beat

⏳ Noya (gnome) a scholar with an expertise in magical artifacts, who also studies the development of magic. since he's not allowed to study the origins of magic, he has had to settle for observing and studying how it evolves in every day contexts. he occasionally crosses paths with Eri

💋 Philly (elf) is a criminal enlisted by the Canaries against his will. his crimes include theft and selling of magical artifacts, arson, and murder, but true cause of his conviction was attempting to use the dark arts to extend his tallman lover's lifespan

(he's a die hard fan of the Daltan Clan novels and all the other prisoners hate him bc it's all he ever talks about sksbsk)

🎶 Aedon (tallman) kabru without the trauma is barkeep by day and singer by night. they like watching people and trying to guess their stories

and that's it, that's all I have for now✌️😋

[henriiiii-1001old]

Actually I'm gonna send another au ask (I hope u don't mind XD) I kinda wanna know whats up with "Spider Puppet" (the design rules so much) and also any other fun facts you have about AltThatcher/Puppet from Unholy Gift?

NO I DONT MIND AT ALL

ALSO H E L L Y E A H SPIDER PUPPET!!!!!!

his name is technically "the puppeteer" because haha symbolism CFVGBHN

so fun fact about puppet, he was made to not be able to have any sort of weird flaws other than his pure form. however, overtime puppet just got like. reeeaaally pissed at gabriel because half the time he's not even in full control of himself. he is literally a puppet to gabriel.

so he just bottled up a lot of anger, and his spider form didn't truly emerge until ruth escaped. so he was just extra pissed at that point. so pissed to the point he grew his hair slightly longer and formed 4 extra arms and 6 more eyes. anger issues paired with technical daddy issues can do a lot to a man SDCFVGBH

but he can use his extra limbs to climb walls and shit so that's cool. and fucking freaky. LIKE. F R E A K Y. ESPECIALLY SINCE HE LOOKS LIKE A VERY FUCKED UP THATCHER WHILE DOING IT.

and oooooo fun facts!!!! :DDDDD

was made by gabriel to be a sort of "perfect alternate". he would have no flaws when mocking a person's appearance, making him the least detectable and would only be able to further gabriel's plans. this however backfired when he realized that puppet couldn't actually mock personalities and for the fact that puppet eventually tried overthrowing him. whoops.

is associated with the color pink!!! specifically a dark pink to contrast thatcher's lighter green color. also to be complimentary to ruth's yellow while still contrasting by being assigned a darker color.

was actually the alternate that made cesar kill himself. and since cesar's conversion to becoming an alternate, they have been literally best friends. cesar takes a lot of his personality from puppet.

was ALSO one of the alternates that played a part in mark's death. he was the one shot by mark too. the technical real cesar was there too, but he just did the voice stuff as well as the phone call to lure mark to the torres house.

this is probably gonna be taken out of context by proshippers so listen to me VERY CLOSELY. he THOUGHT that he had a crush on ruth for a while. i just think this is a funny concept so it's here. DO NOT TAKE THIS AS ME TRYING TO SHIP!!!!! they would be in an EXTREMELY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IF THAT WERE THE CASE, in which they technically ALREADY ARE due to puppet literally mentally, emotionally, and physically tormenting ruth by keeping her in her own home without any means of escape without some sort of very cruel punishment. PLEASE PLEASE do not take this the wrong way.

continuing from the last one since i hopefully set that straight: puppet probably went to six all like "BRO IM IN LOVE HELP WHAT DO I DO" and six is just like "um. idk man you're not supposed to feel that stuff. and i haven't felt love since i became an alternate lmao gl w that". he does eventually realize it was only a weird side feeling of being obsessed with becoming thatcher, so he was probably just like "i must be besties with her or else i am not thatcher, but i am him so i'll be fine" and he just completely misread his own feelings. mostly because he's not supposed to have them but yeah :/

kinda hates tiffany. they only hang out with each other bc they cannot tolerate any of the other alternates other than cesar and adam. so they kinda just deal with it LMAO

his hair is kinda supposed to look like horns!!! like lil devil horns :DDDDD yes i took that straight from my old william design shut up CFVGBHNJ

uuhhh yeah that's kinda it for now! i hope you enjoy as another alt thatcher fan :3c

[red-dyed-sarumane]

what the fuck is up with akire ocs. masterpost made way too quick while i need to sleep. i was going to add images but im tired feel free to look at the toyhouse pages tho

723 - behavioral issues. by choice. shes just like that.

aira - trapped in xeir own personal ever changing hell. like literally xi is stuck in a world that feeds off of & changes based on fears.

aisha - killed by her best friend.

alstroemeria - selectively mute until an injury made her permanently mute. often mistreated by people who think they know best bc she can't verbally argue with them

amari - she is willingly in such a fucked up relationship. constantly being framed by and the subject of bad rumors from her gf (fuyue)

amaryllis - no one listened to her or took her seriously so she ran away & when no one came to look for her realized no one really cared anyway! (isolation)

ash - was trapped in the same hell world as aira but made a deal to get out. her morals are destroyed from it & she tries to trap others in the world so she doesnt have to go back

cestria - idk what her deal is. shes just violent. hashtag influencer things i guess

cherry - u know what i dont think she has any. hm.

chime - no sense of self. theyre exclusively a mirror, intentional or not, of the people around them

chira - commits to the bit too much. will exploit people for views

cleo - refuses to get involved even when she can help. she only wants the scoop on drama

crian - currently, she beats herself up over not being able to help void before they ran away & thinks its partly her fault

daelryc - trust issues

dusk - naturally more violent than ur average person. also trapped against her will

feisha - family issues only fushia knows about. they wont talk about it to anyone else.

fjahva - his mom hates him. he gets kicked out if he tries to come back home. among other mistreatments

flora - trapped against her will & forced to participate in ethically questionable experiments

fushia - mild childhood bullying

fuyue - everything (no). malicious, petty thief, constantly lying for her own amusement, frames her gf for her crimes, blackmails, etc etc etc. why? shes bored

glacia - bully. manipulator. potential murderer but she hasnt stooped that low yet

greeml - theyre self conscious of their ears bc theyre pointy. thats like their worst problem. bc i love them

hanabi - social media poisoned mind. shes not an influencer she just needs to get offline

helix - playboy. self obsessed. used his own blessings on himself enough the other deities demoted him to demigod.

iono - despite neither of her parents being qualified to care for a kid she surprisingly doesnt have any serious problems

iraidis - carrying the weight of being rejected by several generations of people & erasure of proof of her existence

itsumi - shut in by choice & lost all her communication skills. very familiar with escapism

jade - idk i havent thought about it enough yet

keppi - also carrying the weight of generational rejection and erasure

kin - theres just so much wrong with her. she's taking herself down and the world with her. or just kinako. either works

kinako - straight up no will to live she endures whatever kin does to her. or doesnt. she dies a lot.

konome - orphan? lives in the woods with his sister & causes problems for people (""natural"" disasters)

kumo - god complex (they are not a god). the fact they arent dead is a miracle bc they are so stupid and bold and rash

kyeslu - weird girl. no one hates her per se but no one really gets along with her either.

lavender - also trapped in her own hell world

lilium - cave explorer. in the tundra. i think that counts.

linesus - (my sister :) ) well. shes dead. guess she had worm farming trauma too idk

lyra - bullied :(

lyrica - also in personal hell world

maien - shes just massively unlucky.

malshay - power complex (is that what its called??) needs to prove shes better than everyone.

manayo - causes problems on purpose. shes a fox demon she can do what she want tho

meimu - haha trauma of dying repeatedly while the worlds falling apart etc etc shes an aru sekai fan oc thats all i need to say

meision - idk i need to think about her more

meringue - got mad once (unfairly discharged from her job) and now shes a serial killer. hashtag girlboss or whatever

meshika - orphan? lives in the forest with her brother causing problems for people. has definitely killed people but good luck proving it

mkoom - victim of capitalism

nuria - disrespected & killed. now carries the stress of maintaining an entire world with her mind

oken - trauma (?) of turning into a cat against his will

paolo - would rather be a bird than a person

pomgara - distrusted & frustrated by it so shes rather sharp

refrichi - trauma of using her ability. not only accidentally killing people but also casual self harm so she can protect herself (she controls blood. if that makes it make more sense)

rhonda - unsuited to her home country & the problems that come with that. not necessarily stockholmed but she did fall in love with a serial killer

roselii - bad home life. she's overprotective bc of it

ryuusei - isolation of being in space only to come to earth & have to act like a celebrity

sarlina - blank spots in her life bc her ability consumes memories if shes not careful.

saturday - petty.

saturn - burden of maintaining balance in the world. emotionally isolated bc of it

scarlet - bully manipulator liar etc etc and all for her own gain. started bc she didnt want to get punished for bad grades & then she never stopped

sepheria - trust issues. emotional isolation bc shes from a different time period & no one will understand

sera - forced into a sort of celebrity type role he didnt want

seyla - idk what to say here she doesnt really cause problems & she doesnt really have any. mischievous at most

shaia - abandoned his duties as the weight of them was too much. somehow still a deity regardless

sometya - doesnt like people. scaredy cat. yet theyre always off exploring other worlds

sora - ability related trauma. naturally a kind hearted person but she's killed people & it haunts her

teila - tired of rejection she'll promise anything to get her way. ironically shes a shitty mom who rejected her son

tobio - trust issues & quick to argue.

towaka - accidentally got herself trapped in a video game & no longer has control over herself or a way to communicate

vanilla - fear of the unknown & stays in an area that frustrates her bc of it

viridia - victim of her own sister, verbally tormented, tricked into going places she shouldnt & losing important items bc of her only to come home and get told her sister wouldnt do that she should be more like her.

void - we've been over this. bullying into a mental breakdown into 8 years of physical and emotional isolation

wyndi - also carrying the weight of generations of rejection & erasure

xeli - victim of various poisoning attempts that dont work bc theyre immune

yuclenya - isekai'd into a world she knew nothing about, didnt speak the language, was cornered by people looking for a fight, only found out she had an ability when she used it out of fear & it thoroughly cut up her hands

[not-scared-of-microwaves]

i feel like i’m losing everything when i only just got it back.

i’m a dancer. that has been a huge part of my identity since i was seven years old. i lost that after corona virus hit, and last semester, i finally started dancing again.

it was the most amazing feeling. dance has always been an escape for me, a way of setting aside everything that was fucking up my mental health etc. has always been this source of joy even when everything else sucked.

around thanksgiving, my hips started to pop and crack. i’m hyper mobile—this isn’t unusual for me. it also wasn’t unusual when they started to ache constantly. my joints always hurt.

but then it got worse. by the start of this month, i was limping bc of how much it hurt. a week after that, i’m barely walking at all, because now my knees and back were effected. Monday, my hip dislocated. it didn’t particularly hurt, and it went right back in place on its own (i’ve always been able to pull my hips and shoulders out of place at will) but after that, it started happening out of nowhere.

today i nearly fell down the stairs twice, because my hip fell out of place and my knees buckled. i caught myself on the rail, but it fucking terrified me. i could live with not taking the stairs, but now the same thing happens when i’m just walking.

my nurse practitioner referred me to physical therapy, but they can’t see me until january, and she inly talked about the fact that i was in pain, she didn’t take the joint collapse seriously. maybe she thought i was being dramatic.

i’m making another appointment tomorrow. my therapist has suggested i ask about hyper mobile ehlers danlos syndrome. from what i’ve read…it makes sense.

and i’m fucking angry. maybe if we had found it sooner i would be dancing next year. maybe i wouldn’t be losing the one thing that brings me joy in my fucked up head if my doctors had noticed my joints all bend backwards (it was my dance teacher who pointed it out and gave me exercises to improve my strength), or that i’m in constant pain because of it, but they were too busy telling me to eat more because i’m tiny and underweight. they prescribed me meds to improve my perfectly normal appetite rather than telling me it isn’t normal to black out when i stand up (oh yeah my therapist wants me assessed for PoTS too)

actually i’m mad about the weight thing too. people think that because i’m thin (size 2 atm) it’s ok to comment on my weight. it’s happened twice in the past two days. this is why i hate the holidays. i don’t want to hear about how you wished you looked like me—not even doctors want me to look like me. they’ve asked me if i’m anorexic, put me on meds for my appetite, taken me off effective depression meds because i was losing weight, sent me to get my growth hormones tested. it isn’t fucking fun. i am terrified of seeing myself in the mirror because of it. it makes me so incredibly uncomfortable to hear people comment on it, treat it like a good thing, or tell me “it’ll catch up with you when you’re older.” it ignores all of the struggles i’ve experienced because of it, and is frankly not any of their business.

i just. i only just got dance back, and now i’m losing it.

edit: i think it’s actually that it’s actually subluxation not dislocation. idk exactly? but they certainly aren’t where they’re SUPPOSED to be,,,,,,

[dsk0fx]

My thoughts feel very all over the place and our of control right now I have too much in mt.head and it is confusing I feel angry at so many insignificant things. My head is spinning. I've never been this fucking dysphoric before I feel so shit in and about myself I'm an absolute fucking wreck I've put on so much weight I feel so awful about mysekr even though I know I am healthier now I can't look at myself in a mirror inhate my apperance I hate my hair I hate the fact I feel like I don't have a personality or any sense of self I don't know what I like or how I want to look or dress and I hate it my dysphoria is killing me I'm constantly paranoid about my period starting again I cannot be calm I need to change something about myself binding is killing me it hurts so bad ans icant regulate my temperature and I feel like my T isn't doing jack shit the gender clinic are being fuckin useless I need top surgery ans hysto I feel so out of control of everything I hate it so much I need my chest to be flat I need to pass I need my hair to be good I need to be clean I need to be clean I am not clean I need to be clean I am not taking care of myself at all ans like.i am getting so angry irrationally and protective over how Jakes been treated bad in the past it makes me irate I want to hurt anyone that has ever made him feel any bad feeling I feel so possessive n protective over him lately he is mine and only mine and the fact it's not always been that way is infuriating to me rn. Idk if it's bc he's been sick n I've gone into over protective mode or what but idk. I feel so out of control I duxking hate this I think I need to go back on my meds but I'm not sure. I don't even know who I am anymore any sense of identity is slipping away from me because I try to shove myself into boxes but I don't fit into one certain subculture n it's killing me even tho I know it's literally no big deal but I feel like if I don't I'll get judged and have to be a certain way so I feel like I have no personality of my own and don't know what ahy of my own interests of likes are because I just moulf to people around me and I need to stop smoking but I can't but im almost out of baccy

but it's the only thing making my head shut up and feel calm right now and I literally feel.like I cannot function I am so overwhelmed by everything right now I hate it so much I feel like.im.never seeing Jake right now eieher because he's at work so much and burnt out and I miss him I miss him I don't feel good at all I feel like I am going insane and I want it to stop I've been having really bad sh urges and I've been able to not so far but I'm scared but I've been drinking again and I'm trying to stop because I don't want to get dependent on drigs or alcohol again but addiction is wireed into me because of how severe my fucking ADHD is I can't help it and I need to not but my gp won't give me any of my meds and adult services arnwt willing to help or do shit until I'm 25 bx of my auriam and I dont know what's going on with the gender clinic or Mt t ans I'm so stressed everything feels too much right now my head won't stop it won't be quiet I hate it I cand motivate myself to do anything I'm a failure and a let down and not good at anything and don't even know why I am still here I cabr work im so mentally fucked in the head I can't even get a job I am useless and worthless and my.life feels hoplwss like I'm never going to do ajytbing with it I hate my head I hate my brain I hate myself I have every single little thing about myself I do not feel like a person I feel so far dissociated and depersonalized and derealizeed I feel like a feral animal trapped in a cage scratching and clawinh trying to escape until my skin is raw and I am bleeding I want to rip mt.skin off I donf feel human I am not okay please somebody bwlp me I don't want to wakw Jake up I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I don't feel okay I hate this I just want it to stop I just want to feel okay I want to feel like an actual human being and not an angry terrified animal

[lolita-lollipop]

Royal siren erasermic family? They like adopt you after you hatch from an egg bc they found you or something idk and take you back to the castle and make you their little princess or something cute and fluffy like that.

YANDERE SIREN ERASERMIC FAMILY X BABY PRINCESS READER

Shinso was just out and about, swimming through some forbidden areas he wasn’t supposed to be in, avoiding sharks, when he found an iridescent little ball under some rubble of a shipwreck, it made his gills tingle at the sweet aura that it emmited, he knew, that this creature, was something to protect. It was up until he saw something moving inside that he thought it was just some ancient treasure that would’ve died with this ship, he examined it closer, squinting his eyes, that’s when he realized, it was a Siren. A baby one at that, usually they hatched out of boring white eggs, the royal family’s were gold, but a shiny color changing white that combated the finest of jewels? Never, this little pip was special, he could feel it.

So he brought it back home, through his “balcony window”, debating wether or not he should tell his parents. As you know, he was somewhere where he was not supposed to be, and they would throw a fit. Then again, whatever this thing was, he couldn’t just keep it to himself, something was living inside it, and he wouldn’t know if something was wrong, so he has too. When he did, it came as a suprise that his parents weren’t mad, they jsut kindof stared at the orb, inhaling the addictive scent it gave off, the three huddled around it, aizawa carefully picking the Small thing up, it was only about the size of a pumpkin, extremely easy to pick up, yet he could still feel the heartbeat of a creature inside, it just had to be one of the sirenfolk , there isn’t any other explanation. He stared at it in confusion, noticing the small cracks staring to form.

Then a little hand popped through, and scared the shit out of all of them.

———

As it turned out, you were in fact a siren, a rare subtype of them, thought to have gone extinct long, long ago. The opal-looking scales that littered your arms and tail showed proof of it, this species were intensely more fragile, and weaker, that’s why they went extinct, as they couldn’t hear, and a small crabs pinch could cause major bone breaks, they were just too weak, yet so beautiful. That’s why they were coveted among the royal family. It only helped their growing obsession taht you were so cute.

It might’ve been an act of I’mpulse, but they just needed to have you as their own, of course, their word is law, so they could’ve just kept you, but they felt the need to make it official, they’d already had two pips, you’re just their third! It was simple, of course, you specific species could be born into sirenfolk families, it was just so rare that it had only happened once. You were just so cute, so fragile, just something so breakable, they just

H a d

To protect this tiny lil thing, it was instinctual to feel a protective pull over their little pups, and boy were they feeling that right now, you were special, not just any baby, but you were theirs. Their special little pup, nothing would ever lay a hand on you, ever. It had only be a few days, and word spreads through the underwater kingdom like a wave, from the servant maid who showed them how to take care of you, to the head maid, to a citizen, to the fisher, and eventually, by the end of the week, the whole kingdom was eagerly waiting to get a glimpse of their new princess.

And boy were they shocked to find out it was an opalite, the most rare of rare sirens in the world. Immediately after they had shown you to the world, sitting in a large clam as it was pulled by sharks, the citizens fell in love with you, maybe it was the fact that you were related to their beloved royals, maybe because the royal family would intensely glare at anyone who made negative comments, maybe it was the fact that a few of those people went missing, but who knows right?

You still hadn’t been able to open your eyes yet, and you won’t be able to hear them for a very long time, your hands were about the size of aizawas eye, and you looked closer to a fish than a human, as you hadn’t even developed your face yet, another plus to being the endangered species, note the sarcasm. And guess what? They found it so adorable, just their cute little baby, their little pup who can’t even protect themselves from the water around them. They just loved every part of your little body, from your tails, to your tiny little hands, to your shiny gills. It was all just so perfect- you were so perfect, and you were theirs, they were gonna protect you at all costs.

So of course they did, you were just so tiny right now, they knows practically anything could hurt you, so they opted to be around you all the time, only leaving to hunt for humans that would suffice for their tastes, drawling them in, determined because of that little smile of yours. You motivated them to do it, they were doing this for you. It have them all a sense of pride to have you feel safe with them, to rite them you. On their own terms.

Eri was constantly around you, being that she was a young one just like you, and you were her little sister! So she wanted to always be around while you made those echoing gurgling noises, or flapped your hands around in the water, she didn’t have responsibility in the kingdom yet, unless being cute is a job, so she can be with you jsut as much as she wants. Always sitting with you while you played with the floating pearls that they had arranged over your play area, watching you feel new things, holding you while you dozed off with adorable little bubbles, she always was with you.

Like now, she’s been with you all day, giving you little snacks, glaring at the guards at the door who always had their eyes on you… creeps. The sun was almost setting, and when you’re low down in the ocean it goes pitch black after a little while, and that’s when the jellyfish come out, tonight was one of the most special days out of the year in the northern oceans, the jellyfish festival, the one night a year when the rare white jellyfish would come out to say hi, leaving trails of shimmering sparkle behind them, painting the upper levels of the ocean a shiny silver. It just so happened that it occurred on your first birthday, a very small increment to sirens, as they live almost a billion years, but still a big accomplishment in their eyes. Look! Their little baby girl is turning one! How amazing!

“Do you see them hon? Look, they’re just starting to appear” Aizawa asked both you and eri calmly, swishing his hand through the salty water to pint at the new appearance of white and purple blobs, slowly flouncing their way overhead. Eri smiled up at it, her pointed teeth displayed in full view, her eyes shined at the view, not only of the huge jellyfish, but also at you, who was placed delicately in mics lap, sat up against his chest. Little bubbles escaped your mouth as you blew raspberries into the water, just making the family laugh.

“Mm-hmmm! Look! Look! How pretty! I wanna touch em! Can I touch em!” She yelled at her parents, excitedly pointing towards the jelly’s floating towards the surface, her hair floated behind her as she swished around, shinsho just chuckled, knowing that she eventually would try to touch them, and get zapped, again, like last year, and the year before, and the year before.

“No hon. Don’t do that to us again, you wanna wish your sister a happy birthday? She’s probably really exited!” Mic cheered, distracting his daughter from touching the jellyfish, yet again, meanwhile, you were happily bouncing up and down on his lap, enjoying the freedom of your arms, swishing them all over the place, grabbing the beads around your neck, jsut anything.

“But dad! Why not! It’s not like it’s hurt me or anything I’ll be fi-“ she begged, throwing her hands up in a small tempter tantrum, clearly forgetting her previous events of pain, and idiocy.

“No- nope no no, we aren’t doing this again, please honey, just please, remember last time, we had to clean up your wounds OUTSIDE-of water, you hate going to the surface remember? “

“Yeah but-“ she started speaking, but was soon cut off with a loud giggle, resonating through your lips, kindof rare for you, you hadn’t been very vocal outside of a few gurgles here and there, so it had each and every ones heads turning. That’s when they saw it, your beautiful eyes, shin sing in reflection to the jellyfish. Those beautiful little eyes of yours mesmerized all of them, a pitch black (for protection from the salt), with a shiny silver-like pupal, immediately after they opened, a burst of color filled your vision. You giggled and clapped your hands together with a small toothless smile, watching as the floaty creates went overhead, glittering with the light.

The absolutely gorgeous splash above was admired by the family form their own viewing post, the blues and whites combined to make a heavenly display. You could feel the cool sprinkles of light they emmited hitting your skin, smiling at the feeling, you splayed your hands out and flailed them against the water.

“Ohhhhhh- oh wow. Honey! Honey look! Her eyes opened! Look at taht! Aren’t you just so magical! Look at you, my little pup.” Mic smacked Aizawa over the chest multiple times, pointing at your clearly opened eyes, you just remained oblivious, staring up at all the new things around you, like.. everything! He turned you around to face him, letting you actually see his face for the first time, taking in the long yellow hair, the (also) black eyes, the ethereal face dotted with shiny yellow gills, him, you could see him!

“She’s developing smoothly, I’m glad. Awww, that’s pretty cute.” Aizawa replied to him, holding in his emotions, as soon as he met those new eyes of yours it’s like everything else disappeared, like the world itself didn’t exist, outside of him, and his fmaily. You took his breath away, or what you could call breath, so cute and innocent, such a small thing, that brings so much joy. Your little tail swished back and forth as you stared up at them happily, taking in the features of the people you’d learned to recognize by touch. Blowing raspberries out of your lips with a stream of bubbles.

“Awwwww! I’m gonna cry, she’s growing so fast! Soon she’ll be swimming in her own! In like 200 years! Too soon, way too soon. Comers baby- mm hmmm” mic spoke, knowing full well that even if he did cry, his tears would get sucked in by the ocean. He pulled you close, moving your head I’ve this shoulde is it would rest in the crook of his neck while he hugged you, eventually, the others joined in, eri practically flopping ontop (with careful regard for you of course).

They all stared at you, while you stared up at the “sky”, oblivious to their stares, to the ways they would growl at anyone who came close, to how they kept you from seeing anyone other than what they personally approve. After all, you are jsut their little pup, of course you wouldn’t notice! Their little pup… feels right to say that, it isn’t like you have any family waiting, they aren’t ever gonna come here.

And if they ever did?

Then, well, a few mermaids are going missing

———————————————————————————————————

Thanks for requesting, this was fun to write!

Have a great day today! Goodbye.

[iwaasfairy]

Hmm... ok spooky thoughts! Just take w/e interests you or chuck this if you aren't feeling it! Reader getting bullied and the teacher being in on it tickles my pickle. Sukuna voring... what if a sorcerer who can use reverse cursed technique is kept as a sacrifice, can chop the gal up and feed her to sukuna forever :) manipulating your pregnant wife feels mean too. I don't have any kinks to suggest :( i find them all hot and not scary :((

bby i loved every single one of these and i'll probably write them all bc honestly, your brain,, you just see me and ...wow jHGUFDGEYID yes ty so much, but for now have this

𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂

tw student/teacher, noncon, manipulation, power abuse, victim blaming, bullying and sexual harassment mentions, reader is 18+

a/n. i feel like i shouldn't even have to say this but obviously i don't condone student/teacher relationships and gojo is absolutely being a creepy, manipulative asshole here

You hate him. You hate them more, of course, wish you could snap back and fight at their sneers and whispers until you’re finally free of the ridicule. But you hate him too, when he clicks his tongue and only glances your way briefly to smile.

He smiles pretty, he does, with that strange sheen of perfection that barely cracks at the edges and fills up entire days with jokes, jokes you’re much too tired to indulge in. You don’t understand how you could possibly enjoy it when it’s always the smile you get when you’re sitting in the chair before him with yet another complaint; sniffling and pathetic.

“Please, Sensei, can’t you ask to transfer me to the Kyoto school before the end of the year instead?” you ask once again as Gojo gets up from behind the desk, stretching his long arms above his head with a sigh as a sliver of skin peeks from under the jacket and you look away too quickly. He moves instead to sit on the side of the chair— your chair, radiating heat from his body too close to your own and leaving you fumbling over your words. “I- I just- don’t think I can do it anymore.” He used to be in charge of the first years.

Used to teach you the ropes, and even then you had to come in once every few weeks to tell him about an incident, however minimal it might’ve seemed at the time. Gojo gave you the feeling that you’d be understood here, safe here; he recommended you to the school in the first place. Shouldn’t he be the most understanding of all? When you got here you’d been a shivering mimic of a person, barely able to look him— or anyone- in the eye without getting wobbling lips. But then Gojo sensei moved on to the second years along with you, by chance, and the bullying only got worse.

Your clothes were ripped, your bag torn upside down. Your locker raided and room trampled over, at least once a week, and you were left coming into Gojo’s office with a pout way too often. But now, third year in a row and nearing the end of it, you’re sick of pretending like everything is fine. You’re sick of listening to him hush you when you cry, treading long fingers along your face like it’s meant to take away any of your pain, your stress. “You’re about to graduate,” he mumbles, puffing out his cheeks in a childlike, mocking manner when he turns over his shoulder.

“Can’t you handle it for a few more months?”

A thick line digs between your brows when you curl in on yourself more to escape his presence, staring out the window for a few seconds before you sigh. “That’s what you said last time, and you promised you’d transfer me at the start of the year too. I don’t feel like I have to handle anything, I shouldn’t have to take this.”

“You’re sure going hard on them, it’s just boys being boys,” he tutts his lips further, before blowing out a deep sigh. “A sensitive little thing, aren’t you?” Sensitive? Last time they snuck into your room when you were taking a shower and took pictures, leaving the doors open to match. There’s nothing left to be sensitive about. He was informed by the staff that found you crying hours later, and still— You hate him, clamping your hand down harder on the arm of the chair. Maybe he’s not wrong. You are sensitive, and Gojo sensei knows that.

Instead of responding to his never ending jabs, you just stare at the side of his face where the blindfold moves ever so slightly whenever he blinks under there. “I’m sick of it,” you finally sigh, pushing yourself from your chair. “If you won’t help me I’ll ask the principal instead.” Your steps are hard and loud as you get up and walk to the door, only to be cut off when he appears before you yet again, the same shit-eating grin splitting his cheeks as his large hand lands on your shoulder, feeling much too heavy.

“Okay, okay, no need to get so fussy on me.” His other hand scratches at the back of his neck for a few seconds, before he finally seems to come to a decision, squeezing your shoulder tighter. “I guess there’s a few options I haven’t tried yet. But that’ll take a bunch out of my schedule, sweetheart, and I don’t really have that kind of time to waste.” It stays quiet, giving you the words to process the words as he tilts his head, popping his jaw back and forward in thought. “Well, guess you’re lucky I’m this invested in my students. Consider it done, okay?”

Despite the wishy-washy nature of his previous promises you can’t help but feel a bit relieved, letting your tense, determined posture drop just long enough for Gojo sensei to notice, leaning down to meet you face to face. He does it almost comically easy, pouting along with you. “Aw, you poor thing, this has really been keeping you up, hasn’t it?” There’s a hand on your back that slides down to the small of your back, and another that pushes a knuckle under your chin, his mouth corners tugging up despite yourself. “Am I not your saving angel?”

“If you manage it,” you fake a chuckle, but your stomach drops when he straightens up and still keeps you caged between his arms, nodding along with your words.

“Always so distrusting, and even after all the work I’ve put in to make sure you got in here.” His one eyebrow raises, and you can almost imagine the smug grin that he holds back next. “Some would even say you’re ungrateful of all my help.”

“I’m- I’m not, Gojo sensei,” you backtrack, the pressure on your back keeping him too close almost making your lungs feel like they’re failing you. You might’ve been more assertive than usual just minutes earlier, but that was when he wasn’t keeping you so close, way too close for your liking, and the front you put up is quickly fading now. “I really appreciate your help, I do, but t-they -still haven’t stopped, and that’s- that’s just what I’m worried about. But you said you’ll do it so I’m very grateful,” your voice cracks a little when he walks you further away from the door now, face so near yours you have to lean into his touch to escape it.

“Right, and I plan to,” he hums, running his tongue over his bottom lip. “But I think it’d go a whole lot easier if you give me some more incentive to help, you know? I’m a very, very busy man.” As he lets go of you and you fall back onto your butt at the lack of support, wincing, he slowly shrugs his blindfold off, humming cheerfully as your lip trembles and you’re left staring at his crotch, right in front of your face. “Open up like a good girl and I’ll get your transfer application in as soon as I can, hm? That sounds fair to me.”

[bratkook]

quiet, baby. (m) jjk

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. smut, pwp warnings. exhibitionism, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, slightly teasing/mean kook turns into whiny kook at the end lol word count. 3.2k note. today on jlin spews together a smutty drabble while ignoring her other wips just bc that one specific photo of jungkook is eating away at her brain, i give you this, it’s not edited, idk if i hate it or not and i wrote it all on tumblr mobile so..yeah🤩

leave feedback/reblog/send an ask okie bye❣️

“That’s it, slow and steady baby.” Jungkook’s voice comes from behind you, husky and teasing, edges of his lips ghosting around your ear as he sighs when you do exactly as he asks. 

Your head falls forward with a choked groan as his hand slips under your skirt, fingers finding their desired target as he begins to circle your clit, your skin feeling hot from his sinful hands. Everything feels stuffy now, the sweat accumulating behind your neck, your face burning in embarrassment at you actually doing this, the thrill of where you were making another gush of arousal escape you. 

When you had jokingly teased your boyfriend during dinner, your hand lightly ghosting over his cock through the thick denim he wore, you were lying if you said you didn’t think it would lead to anything besides seeing him flustered as he asked for the check. Jungkook always had something up his sleeve whenever you decided to be bold and you knew your actions would be well worth it.

Apparently you were right, your boyfriend did in fact have plans, the gears turning in his mind as you walked hand in hand down the streets, his half hard cock pressing against his jeans so prominently it was a blessing he wore long enough layers to cover it up. Jungkook wasn’t a sucker, if you thought you could tease him and act coy without getting similar treatment in return you had another thing coming. 

As he stepped onto the subway and glanced around he smiled when he took note of one other person occupying the car, tucked away in a far corner with their eyes shut and earbuds blasting who knows what. It was perfect, you were completely unaware of the filthy plan he had as he guided you to the very back, but as soon as the subway started moving so did his hands. 

Slowly at first, trailing along the exposed skin of your thighs, playing with the hem of your pleated skirt in a way so innocent you allowed yourself to get comfortable in your seat. Then came the teasing words, knowing just what your fantasies were and using them to his advantage, wrapped neatly with a ribbon on top, beautifully disguised to make you think it was in your favor. 

You in fact were a sucker, which is exactly how you found yourself perched on top of Jungkook with your skirt bunched up, thighs held apart and hooked over his knees as you creamed his cock, taking him completely without a care in the world. Each roll of your sensitive clit makes you shudder above him, needing to shut your eyes to stop the possibility of making eye contact with the only other person here, if you couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see you. That’s the mentality that kept you going. 

Jungkook simply chuckles when you rest your forehead against the seat in front of you, enjoying the way your body trembles with pleasure, your own hands tightly clutching onto the arm circling around your waist as you do your best to keep your moans in. The pleasure was slowly bubbling inside of you, the roll of his fingers lulling you further under the haze of it all and thats when he speaks.

“Let’s play a game hm?” he whispers, voice sounding steady and unaffected, only making you feel like more of a mess at how you were behaving. 

“A game?” Your voice is soft, slurred at the ends as it spills out of your mouth, curling over your tongue as you struggle to speak. Jungkook knows he has you now, your competitive streak mixed with the lust clouding your brain made for the perfect scenario for Jungkook’s plan, there was no way you would say no. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek, rutting his hips up into you and smirking when you whimper in response from his cock rubbing against your g-spot. “If you can be a good girl and make me cum before our stop, I won’t punish you for your little stunt during dinner.”

“I didn’t–“ you start, the lie catching in your throat before it can even fully form, your nails digging into the leather of his jacket when he spreads your thighs further apart and delivers a swift smack against your aching clit, laughing meanly when your body twitches at the sensation. 

“You did.” Jungkook continues to mouth along your skin, kissing down your jaw and onto your neck. When the automated voice fills the car and alerts you of the coming exit you feel the way he smiles against your skin, a small hum reaching your ears at the thought of you running out of time. The shadow of his bucket hat not allowing you to see his eyes when you turn back to look at him in curiosity, but you don’t need to see them to know the evil glint he’s sporting. “Better hurry up baby, we’re a few stops away.”

“Jungkook,” you whine, the first fully audible response from you so far. Could you make him cum in that amount of time? Possibly, but when Jungkook was determined to tease you he could hold off his own orgasm without a hitch, you on the other hand couldn’t and you knew if you came before him whatever punishment he had planned would only stretch out, it could go in your favor but you were too needy to test it out. 

“C’mon, this is what you wanted isn’t it?” His hands roam up until he’s gripping your hips, fingers digging into your skin and beginning to guide you to grind on top of him, the torturous glide of his cock rubbing all the right spots inside of you making you gasp. 

“No,” you whimper, but the way your hips start to move once more show otherwise, a steady roll of your hips continuing and Jungkook doesn’t need to see the mess you’re making to know just how turned on you are by this. The base of his cock had a pool of your arousal around it, sticky and shiny each time you slid off before rolling back, no doubt ruining his underwear pushed a few inches down but that didn’t matter when you felt this good around him. 

The disinterested sigh he lets out only makes you speed up, the loosening grip on your hips as he leans back into his seat has you desperate to keep his attention on you, show him how good you could be for him. With newfound determination your hands move to grip onto the back of the seat a few inches in front of you, holding yourself steady as you begin to bounce on top of him, hoping your actions are discreet enough to conceal what you were doing from wandering eyes. 

Jungkook smirks when he feels your velvety walls tighten with each raise of your hips, lifting up until the head of his cock was the only thing nuzzled within you before your warmth took him in once more as you sank back down with a light thump. The rumbling of the subway wheels conceal the noise enough but he isn’t even sure he would care if anyone bares witness to this, seeing you lose yourself on top of him, desperate to make him cum despite being in public. 

This had been a fantasy for both of you for so long and as the subway approaches the following stop you feel the tiny sense of panic begin to set in, the bright lights of the station grabbing your attention as you spot a handful of people lingering by the tracks. You still your hips as you wait, hoping none of them would step foot onto the car you were in, not entirely sure if you’d be able to pass off riding your boyfriend as innocently sitting on his lap. 

“Is my baby shy now?” His words snap you back, a tilt of his head finally allowing you to see his eyes as he stares at you, a genuine look of understanding being passed between you, knowing if you had become too uncomfortable to continue he’d stop with no questions asked. 

Your eyes move to stare out of the window once more, sighing in relief when the passengers board the car in front of you instead and the train resumes moving. “Just don’t want anyone to see.” 

Jungkook laughs lightly at your words, sitting straighter as he circles his arms around your waist again, holding you still on top of him with his cock buried deep within you as his right hand creeps under your skirt once more. “Don’t want anyone to see what a needy slut you are?”

His words have the desired effect on you, whimpering and dropping your head back as his deft fingers find your clit like second nature, rubbing tight circles around your hardened nub as you tightened around his length. 

“No,” you gasp, “only w-want you to see that.” The desperation laced in your voice makes it hard to recognize yourself but he revels in it, let’s himself soak in your words, the small tingles of pleasure spreading throughout his body before he’s planting his feet firmly onto the floor and thrusting up into you. A squeal of surprise fills the space, piercing through the silence it's a shock the single passenger was still sound asleep with his earbuds popped in. 

“Quiet, baby.” he mocks with a teasing tilt to his voice, continuing to rut up into you, loving every moan that slips out of your plush lips, swollen from the way you bit down on them. Jungkook knew neither of you were being discreet now, with the way your body jostled each time he thrust up, your face twisted up in pleasure, illuminated by the bright lights, if anyone glanced in your direction it would be clear as day.

You didn’t care anymore, too lost in the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, the sensation of the denim rubbing along the back of your thighs with each roll of his hips, the familiar scent of your boyfriend's cologne wrapping around you as he held you close. Paired with the way his fingers continued to flick against your clit, it was too much, already feeling your climax approaching. 

Jungkook knows, can feel the way your walls get tighter, the tremble in your body as it starts to take over you, the breathy whines of his name as it gets closer. The need to cum has you quickening up your hips, meeting his thrusts in tandem, the two of you so lost in your pleasure you don’t notice the approaching stop. The automated voice doesn’t register in your head, your ears full of the rhythmic thumping of your heart, eyes once again shut and the prettiest pout on your lips that Jungkook could faintly see in the reflection of the window. 

“Fuck, so pretty,” he groans, eyes locked onto your reflection, seeing your brows furrow together as your mouth drops open in a silent moan. Just as your orgasm is about to wash over you he pulls his hand away from your clit and stills your hips entirely with an iron grip, with all the stimulation gone your orgasm is ripped away from you, a whiny plea making Jungkook chuckle. 

“No, no Jungkook please.” Your hips fight against his grip, desperately searching for any friction to relieve the ache of your ruined orgasm, rutting against him with a frown, head dropping forward as you stare down. With shaky hands you lift up your skirt and sigh when you see the way his fingers are covered in your slick, inches from your throbbing clit, choosing to deny you your pleasure like the teasing asshole he was. 

“Did you forget already?” he asks, bringing a hand up to gently rub along your cheek as you whimper, leaning into his touch. When the doors close and the subway takes off again he chuckles, knowing your time was running out, already planning all the ways he would tease you the minute you got home. “One more stop baby.”

Taking a deep breath you try to ignore the flutters in your stomach, knowing exactly what you had to do to make Jungkook fall apart underneath you. When his hand loosens up on your hip you begin moving again, not holding back the moans that spill from your mouth anymore, making a show of grabbing his hands and trailing them up your thighs and under your shirt, knowing just how much he loved your tits. 

He grunts against your shoulder in appreciation when his large palm grabs a handful of your boobs over the flimsy bralette you’re wearing, giving them a rough squeeze as you mewl above him.  “Fuck, Jungkook,” you sigh dreamily, humming when the tip of his cock nudges along your g-spot. “You always make me so messy.”

Jungkook groans now, your words and the soft wet smacks of your messy pussy sinking onto his cock affecting him, making his head swim with desire as you whine when he pulls at your hardened nipple. “Shit, you feel so warm.” He’s speaking softly, almost like his thoughts are spilling out without warning, always losing himself whenever you become vocal, needing to hear just how good he made you feel to allow himself to bask in it. 

His eyes flutter shut, enjoying the drag of your walls on his cock with each roll of your hips, your chest heaving as you panted, his hand still cupping your breast, teasingly tugging and twisting at the pebbled bud, wanting nothing more than to lick and suck his way around your chest but this would have to do. 

“Kookie,” you breathe, “wanna feel you, please.” Your earlier orgasm starts to rise once more, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to hold it back before him and with the stop approaching soon he had to cum now to save you from whatever torture he had planned. 

“Yeah?” He huffs out a moan, whiny and needy, a complete contrast to the unaffected demeanor he had earlier. Jungkook couldn’t play calm and collected anymore, already diving head first into this, too far gone to be able to pull back now. 

“I’m gonna make you even messier for me, s-show you–“ he’s cut off with a gasp when you start to pulse your walls around him, head falling back as a deep groan escapes him, his own orgasm crawling up his spine. “Fuck, show you how good girls get rewarded.”

“Please, I’ve been good, just wanna make you cum.” An unrestrained moan fills the air as he starts to thrust up into you in desperation, the only thought in his mind being filling you up full of his cum, wanting to see it dripping around your ruined underwear, slicked along your inner thighs and concealed by that tiny skirt you wore. You were always so hell bent on teasing him, knowing just how much he loved to ruin you afterwards, turning you into a delirious mess all because of his cock. He loves it. 

“Don’t worry baby,” he grunts, the added layers he wore only making it stuffier for him as he begins to sweat, clinging to his body as he pants behind you. “Gonna fill you up.”

Trailing your own hand down your torso your fingers meet your throbbing clit, shuddering on top of him as you start to rub against it, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as your climax inches closer. Jungkook isn’t far off, the coil inside of him tightening as you whimper each time his cock hits the back of your cervix, his brain heady with lust, not being able to hold back the increased volume of his moans. 

“Fuck, almost there.” You hum in confirmation, nodding along as your body heats up, muscles beginning to tense, mind starting to float with each flick of your wrist. 

“Show me I’m a good girl Kook,” you whine out so beautifully, so needy and desperate for him, and he loses it, rutting into you sloppily until he’s cumming, ribbons of white stuffing you full and warming you up as he fuck you. The feeling of his cum inside you sends you over the edge as well, your thighs giving out on you as you fully plop on top of him, your fingers continuing to rub along your sensitive clit as you shudder and twitch above him. 

“Fuck,” he sighs out, panting by your ear and mixing in with the small ringing you hear from the strength of your orgasm. Slowly, his hand slips out from underneath your shirt, rubbing along the skin of your hips to help calm you down as your body trembles. With a small groan you pull yourself off of his softening cock, readjusting your messy underwear before scooting back onto the seat beside him. 

Jungkook watches as your eyes widen at the sight of his cock, shiny with your arousal, coated in globs of his cum, looking just as inviting as always. He chokes on a moan when you instantly bend forward and slip it into your mouth, the sensitivity making him whine as you lick his cock clean, pulling off with a pop and a smirk. “Was I good?”

He narrows his eyes at your teasing tone, the devious look on your face showing him that you weren’t done yet. Jungkook thought he had one upped you, caught you by surprise after you teased him and took you on a run for your money by doing this, but you looked completely satisfied with yourself as he slid his cock back into his underwear and pulled his jeans back up. 

“You’re evil.”

Jungkook smiles when you laugh, both of you pausing when the automated voice alerts you of your stop approaching in a few seconds. As the two of you stand up from the seats your eyes roam the car once more, a gasp escaping when you realize the only other person here has stepped off. 

“Oh my god, when did they leave?”

“Last stop, don’t worry they left before it got good.” He clutches your hands when you go to swat at him, laughing heartily as you approach the car doors. “They totally knew too.”

Jungkook had seen the moment they left, earbuds still pushed in, but the way they had glanced in their direction shaking their head with a smile let him know that he was completely aware of the filthy things you two were doing. 

“Jungkook!” you whine, stepping off the subway and onto the platform, grimacing when you feel the way your sticky underwear rubs against you. 

“What? This was all part of your scheme you little devil, at least we didn’t have a massive audience.”

Well he had a point, it could’ve been worse, at least this way you were able to tick off the box beside this fantasy. “We’re never doing this again, I don’t care how hot it was.”

Your boyfriend just smiles, intertwining your hands together as you exit the station. He knew you better than anyone so he knew you were absolutely doing this again.

[theweasleysredhair]

In Safe Hands [G.W.]

Character: George Weasley

Word Count: 4339

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: George is just very attractive and his hands are even more attractive.

WARNING: this is NSFW, 18+, smutty, sexy times, idk how else to say it. including oral (female receiving). also a lot of mentions of hands, arms and veins bc i canny control myself apparently.

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @acciotwinz @rexorangecouny @mischi3f-manag3d @obsessedwithrandomthings @whizbangs-78 @heart-of-tempered-steel @harrysweasleys @ickle-ronniekins @wand3ringr0s3 @theweirdsideofstuff | message or send an ask to be added to my smut taglist - you must be 18+!

Disclaimer: Gif isn't mine, credit to whoever made it

A/n: i put two requests for my event together as i decided to write a full fic based on george’s hands purely because prompt 9, which both requesters selected, refers to hands - enjoy!!

Prompts used:

3. “I may or may not have left some... marks.”

9. “God I love your hands.” “Let’s put them to good use then.”

23. “Didn’t know you wanted to get into my pants that badly.”

49. “Behave.”

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

You’d always liked George - why wouldn’t you? He was funny, charming, handsome. You’d be stupid not to. It had started back in Hogwarts - you were friends with the twins; close friends. And that’s all you thought of them as, until one fateful day in your 7th year where you made the regrettable decision to meet the twins after one of their last games of Quidditch before Umbridge had banned them, and George had emerged from the Gryffindor tent freshly showered, shirt hanging over his shoulder, trousers low on his hips.

And that’s when you’d realised you liked George as much more than just friends.

You hadn’t known how to deal with him at first, how to act around him, once you’d realised how you felt. Because every time he laughed, every time he ran a hand through his hair, you felt yourself positively swooning, as cliché as it sounded.

It took a lot not to accidentally blurt out your feelings to him, not that you were helped by Fred, who noticed the slight differences in your behaviour - holding onto hugs from George a tad longer, the way you looked at him when he didn’t realise, how flustered you got when he’d rest a hand on your knee - and made it his mission to make your feelings as obvious as possible in front of his brother.

George must’ve been the most oblivious person however, as he never noticed the hints or the longing smiles. Or maybe that was because he was busy trying to stop Fred from making his own crush on you so obvious, trying to hide his own longing smiles, and the way his eyes lit up when he made you laugh.

The twins had left Hogwarts soon after you’d realised your feelings, in a fit of fireworks, and then suddenly you were dealing with Umbridge alone, with her detentions alone. Not that you blamed them for leaving at all - you knew they were out living their dream and all you could wish to do was support them. It didn’t make being at Hogwarts any easier though, dealing with all the Educational Decrees. However, you thought the space and distance would help you to get over George, and it did.

Until you saw him again in his shop. The twins had sent you a letter in the middle of your NEWTs asking you to come and work for them, an offer that you gladly accepted, however arriving at their store on your first day - after the initial overwhelming feeling of pride at seeing how well their store was doing, how successful they were - you knew you weren’t at all over him.

He stood there, a smirk etched on his face, suit fitted to him as he crossed his arms over his chest, standing on the stairs in the shop as he looked down at you, and your felt your heart racing, cursing yourself over still being so hung up on the man.

His eyes slowly took in your appearance - you’d worn a cute sundress, due to the warm weather, your hair falling loosely around your shoulders and George felt his own heartbeat quicken.

He’d fancied you since his 6th year, most likely before that, the realisation hitting him when he had seen you dancing with some prat from Ravenclaw at the Yule Ball, when you should have gone with him. After that, after seeing how utterly stunning you’d looked that day, with your ballgown and hair done, he knew he’d never be able to look at you the same.

And even now, after not seeing you for months, you didn’t fail to leave him speechless, so effortlessly beautiful in his eyes that he couldn’t help but look at you as though you’d hung all the stars in the sky.

“Long time no see, eh love?” He spoke, moving down the last couple of steps and towards you, “Still gorgeous as ever.”

You grinned at him, “Always the charmer, eh Weasley?”

He chuckled, opening his arms to wrap them around you to bring you into a warm hug, one you gladly accepted as you wrapped your own arms around his waist, taking a deep breath as the familiar scent of his cologne enveloped you, making you grin. He rested his chin on your head and closed his eyes, smiling as he felt you nuzzle into his chest.

Merlin, he thought being away from you had lessened his feelings for you but in that moment, with you in his arms, he was struck with the same realisation he’d had in his 6th year - that he was in love with you.

And, unbeknownst to him, as your grip around him tightened a little, the hug lasting a tad too long to be friendly, however neither of you mentioning anything about it, you’d come to the same realisation.

Which brought you to now.

Being around George again was amazing, you had to admit. And whilst you hated the way you kept fumbling with products, or how clumsy you’d get around him - something Fred still loved to tease you about - you also adored how he made you feel, how happy, how content - he made your life that much better, a light in an ever increasing darkening world.

You’d been working with the twins for a few months, and it was amazing, truly a better job than you could have predicted. What made the job difficult, however, was trying to keep cool when George walked around looking like he did, interacting with the guests, making the children laugh at his jokes.

Godric, could he get any more attractive?

He’d seemed to up the ante this week, almost on purpose you swore, constantly walking around in just his shirt and tie due to the summer heat, the lack of a jacket meaning you were faced with doing your job and working with customers whilst also trying not to stare at the way his shirt fit snugly around him, or how his forearms were showcased due to him rolling his sleeve to his elbows, veins appearing any time he tended his arms, whether that be due to moving things around the shop, demonstrating how certain products worked, or lifting and moving heavy equipment.

The latter of which currently occurring, as Fred had left George alone to deal with a delivery after the shop had shut.

You were stood at the Pygmy Puff display, moving cages around and making sure they were well looked after when you heard some grunts coming from the store room, as if someone had picked up something with a lot of weight. You then heard footsteps behind you, making you pause with the last - feisty - Pygmy Puff in your hand, the rest having been put into their cages.

You turned around, breath hitching in your throat as you took in the sight before you. Namely, George Weasley holding what appeared to be quite a heavy box, if his staggered breathing was anything to go by. He’d shed his jacket somewhere in the back, along with his waistcoat, leaving him in just his shirt, which was tightly fitted and, you noticed as he placed the box down on top of another cardboard box, stuck to him a little with sweat from the heavy lifting. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows, showcasing his forearms, and you found yourself gulping as your eyes wandered down the prominent veins, to his large hands, one of which was pulled through his messy ginger hair, pushing the strands out of his face.

And he had no idea.

He had no idea at all that suddenly you couldn’t focus, that suddenly all the breath had left your lungs, that suddenly all you could think about was how his hands would feel on you, holding your waist, gripping your hips, squeezing your thighs. How his fingers would feel inside of you.

George looked over at you and shot you a grin, one that made your heart race even more than it already was, “Bloody big delivery today, eh? ‘S what happens when I let Fred order the ingredients.”

You gave him an almost starstruck smile, which he accepted gladly, before reaching up and undoing the top two buttons of his shirt, pulling at his tie to loosen it, your jaw dropping almost comically as you secretly watched him.

He noticed halfway through his action that you’d gotten extremely silent, your mouth open ever so slightly and George wondered if it was because of him. Merlin he hoped so, because if you wanted him as much as he wanted you, well, he’d be happy to take you right there and then against the till counter.

He turned away to disappear back into the stockroom, biting his lip as indecent thoughts filled his mind, heading to grab the next couple of boxes.

Back on the shop floor, you took a deep breath, rubbing your eyes and cursing yourself. You should not be stood ogling your best friend, much less your best friend who was also your boss, no matter how attractive he happened to be. You should be going through the boxes to separate ingredients out, helping with the displays and doing your job.

But no, instead you were stood, still holding the Pygmy Puff that was now trying to escape your hands, imagining all the things you wanted that man to do to you. And what you wanted to do to him.

Merlin.

You popped the Pygmy Puff into the cage, and wandered over to the box that George had just brought in, trying to push the thoughts of how you could see the outline of his abs through his shirt away as you began pulling out different ingredients.

He came back around the corner, holding two boxes this time, the top one covering most of his face due to the size, allowing you to stare longingly at the way his fingers were wrapped around the edges of the boxes, gripping tightly. You bit your lip as he turned from you to place the boxes down, watching as the shirt moved closely against his back, accentuating his shoulder blades as he bent down and Merlin did you wish you could see his muscles without the shirt.

“Need any help?” You managed to stutter out, trying to act as if you hadn’t been staring at him. Still bending over as he sorted out the boxes, he paused his actions and looked up at you, shooting you a cheeky grin. “Don’t you worry at all, love, I’ve got it, I am extremely strong after all,” he winked, and Godric, didn’t you know it, “You just stand there looking your best, that’s all the motivation I need.”

And suddenly you’d forgotten how to speak, how to breathe. You just nodded, though he didn’t see as his attention was back on the box in front of him. You watched him sift through the products, fingers moving nimbly, occasionally bringing out the odd jar or packet, sometimes throwing it in the air and catching it before placing it to one side.

He brought out a smaller box of vials, which he held from the top, placing it in front of you and gripping it tighter to emphasise his hands when he saw your gaze lingering.

He smiled to himself, pushing his sleeves up - making you swallow harshly - as he pretended not to know you were watching him, all the while flexing just for your benefit.

You couldn’t help the way your eyes kept drifting over to him, couldn’t help that watching him be so efficient with flipping glass jars in the air and holding different ingredients made you that much more attracted to him. You couldn’t help your thoughts racing, thinking about asking him to use his hands on you and-

“Godric, I love your hands.”

Your eyes widened in shock as his head turned to you, your own hand covering your mouth as you realised what you’d just said, and you began stammering out, “I-I... I didn’t mean- I- George-“

George gave a pretend look of shock, as if he hadn’t purposely been working you up for the last however-long. “You like my hands?” He asked with a smirk, glancing down at them before his gaze fell back on you, taking in the sight of you being so flustered. You got lost in the way his eyes held yours, and you could do nothing but nod slowly, making George bite his lip and step forward.

His heart was racing at your confession, not quite believing it was happening but very much wanting to do something with that information, “If you like them so much, let’s put them to good use.”

“W-what?”

George looked you up and down, his tongue darting out to wetten his bottom lip, “You like my hands, and I wanna use them on you, darling. You going to let me?”

You took in the way he was looking at you - like all his dreams had come true, like you were the only thing he cared about, like he loved you. “Absolutely,” you breathed out.

And suddenly his hands were on your waist, bringing you closer to him as he brushed his lips against yours, savouring the first few moments of you being so close to him, before kissing you properly. His lips were soft, moving against yours in a way that, had you not have known any different, you may have thought he’d been kissing you for years. It felt familiar, yet with an added layer of something new. A kiss that made your skin feel like it was on fire, that, as he angled his head to deepen it, made your stomach flutter, and mind race.

It was so perfect, even with the occasional bump of your noses - so perfectly George - that you didn’t want it to end. He pulled away a little, pressing more kisses to your lips before he began moving down to your neck, pressing open mouthed, hot kisses to your skin, making you let out small, breathy moans, feeling him smile against you.

You ran your hands down his chest, playing gently with the buttons and pulling his tie completely off, and heading towards his belt as he licked the skin just below your ear.

Beginning to unbuckle his belt, you also “accidentally” brushed against the evident tent in his pants, and he pulled away from you to grin, “Didn’t know you wanted to get into my pants that badly, love.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and bit your lip at him, making his heart beat a little faster, “Your fault for bringing that delivery in so attractively.”

You’d managed to unbuckle his belt and pulled him back in for a kiss, him mumbling against your lips, “Might get Fred to order stock more often then if this is what happens.”

He led you over to the stairs, stumbling a little up the bottom two steps before trapping you against the banister for a moment, holding you close to him as he continued to kiss you, his tongue easily gliding into your mouth.

Between kisses, and George pulling your shirt off, you made it to the apartment above the shop, heading down the hallway and bumping into the cabinet that was stood between the bathroom and Fred’s room, before arriving at his bedroom door, which he nudged open with his feet, bringing you inside.

He held you by the waist, fingertips tightening a little as he pulled away from the kiss for air, and to lift you up so he could throw you onto the bed, the impact making your breasts bounce and George breathed out a, “Fuck, c’mere.”

He crawled on top of you, your back arching into the mattress as your arms looped around his neck, playing with the tufts of ginger hair at the base of his neck as you brought him back in for another kiss. Your hands moved down to begin unbuttoning his shirt, something you’d been imagining all day, before throwing it to the other side of the room, George doing the same with your bra.

A few moments later, you’d both shed the rest of your clothes, leaving you bare against him, breasts pressed against his chest, his arms either side of your head, supporting his weight above you. You could feel his breath hitting your hitting your lips, his face centimetres from yours.

In stark contrast to the compromising position you were in, George looked down at you with love, a look that warmed your heart as you gave him a small, almost shy, smile.

“You know I- uh- I love you, right? I’m in love with you, darling.” He looked almost vulnerable as he said that, his eyes flickering across your face as his lips parted a little.

You lifted your head up so your forehead rested against his, hands clutching his shoulders, “I’m in love with you too, Georgie.”

“Me or my hands?” He joked, making you shake your head and laugh. You pretended to think for a moment before replying, “Maybe both.”

“Let’s see if I can make you come from just my hands then, shall we?” He grinned, making your heart race as his fingers danced down your stomach before pressing against your clit.

“So wet for me,” He commented, circling it slowly, smirking at the way you let out little breathy moans, before he entered a finger into you, taking advantage of the way your back arched in order to take one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucked on it, gently nibbling as he pushed his finger in and out of you, before adding a second finger, stretching you out a little.

“George,” you breathed out as he moved to your other breast.

He continued moving his fingers against you, in you, and you felt the familiar feeling of pleasure building in your stomach.

After being so wound up from watching him, you knew it wouldn’t take much more to reach your high, and as he continued to kiss your breasts, you breathed out slowly, almost embarrassed at how quickly he’d managed to turn you into a pile of mush at his touch.

“I’m close,” you whimpered, as George moved from your breasts to your collarbone, his thumb adding a little more pressure to your clit as his fingers moved.

Picking up his pace ever-so-slightly, he brought you closer to your high. He felt you clench around his fingers and pressed a kiss to your jawline. “Come for me princess,” he whispered against your ear in a low tone, making you shiver.

George watched the way you closed your eyes, mouth open and head tilted back as your high washed over you, pleasure running through you, and felt himself harden at the sight.

His fingers continued moving against you, although at a slower pace, and your hips jolted towards him at the overstimulation, “‘S a good girl.” He leant forward, pressing his body against yours as he kissed you gently.

“Think you can come for me again, love?”

You were breathing heavily from your first orgasm, though with the way his fingers were moving against you, you knew you’d be reaching your second before you could properly catch your breath. You nodded at him before he began trailing back down your stomach and settled himself between your legs.

You shivered as he lightly pressed kisses on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his hands squeezing your hips, before he licked into you, making you gasp out and clutch the bedsheets tightly. Letting out a moan as he pushed a finger back into you, you closed your eyes, head falling back against the headboard as you breathed out heavily from the way his tongue was moving against you.

You bucked your hips against him involuntarily, causing his free hand to push your hips back down and he looked up from between your legs, his eyes catching yours as he smirked against you, “Behave, darling.” You moaned as the vibrations of just those two words travelled through you, the hand not enclosed around his heading towards his messy hair and running through it, pulling at strands as you felt his tongue flatten against you.

Feeling your second orgasm creeping up on you, you wrapped your legs around his head and let out a moan as you felt George groan against you. Your second high felt more intense than the first, and the feel of George’s tongue pushing inside you made you moan out loudly, the feeling taking over you before you relaxed against him, legs falling onto his shoulders.

“You look so pretty when you come,” he grinned, moving back to hover over you. He pressed himself against you, rocking his hips against yours, arm muscles tensing as he held himself up over you.

You whined a little at the feel of him moving against your sensitive clit, making him smile.

“You ready for me, princess?”

You wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, the other reaching for his hand to intertwine your fingers together, “Always, Georgie.”

At your go-ahead, he pressed a kiss to your lips and eased himself into you, making you both moan out. “You feel so good wrapped around me, love,” he praised as he pulled out of you before pushing back in again, “Taking me so well.”

He moved against you, skin brushing against skin, his spare hand moving to touch any place he could, running his fingers down the curves of your body, before biting his lip as he pulled his hand from yours to grab your wrist, taking your other one from around his neck and holding them above your head, making you whimper as his arms flexed.

“Do you like what my hands can do to you, love? How I made you come from nothing but my fingers?” He groaned against you, feeling himself edging towards his own high.

“Yes... yes!” You breathed out, your eyes closing as you felt your high arriving fast, “George you feel so good.”

George groaned again, feeling you clenching around his cock in the same way you did around his fingers. He leant forward to kiss you, still holding your arms above your head and suddenly pleasure coursed through your body, and you sighed against his lips, him twitching and coming inside of you soon after with a deep growl.

He fell against your shoulder, pulling himself out of you before laying beside you, letting go of your wrists as you instinctively curled towards him.

George’s eyes wandered over to you, a smile small playing at his lips, taking in the way your hair was falling across his pillow, your eyes shut as you breathed heavily, eyelashes fanning across your cheeks, your hand resting on one of his biceps.

His gaze travelled across your neck and down to your collarbones, then across your breasts, a smug smile gracing his face. You opened your own eyes, catching his shit-eating grin and raised an eyebrow at him wearily, “What’s that look for?”

“I may or may not have left some... marks,” he replied cheekily, biting his lip, pupils blown wide as he took in the sight of you marked by him, pressed up next to him.

Your jaw dropped a little and you shook your head with a laugh, “Oh bloody hell, Georgie!” You stood up quickly and headed to the mirror across the room to check, fighting the urge to both laugh and smack him when you saw the red and purple marks littering your skin.

George sat back on the bed, eyes raking over your body, enjoying the sight of your bare bum and back, and found himself biting his lip and imagining all the things he wanted to do to you that night. His eyes lingered on the curve of your bum and he fought the urge to grab you again and pull you down onto him.

“I like them on you, they look hot,” George said with a grin, and you playfully glared at him in the mirror.

“You would think that.” Turning back around to him, you just missed the way his gaze flickered to the marks on your breasts and up to your neck, George feeling extremely proud of himself and his work.

“Yeah, it just shows people you’re mine I guess,” he shrugged unapologetically and gave you a smug grin, looking you up and down as you walked back over to him.

“Oh I’m yours, am I?” You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest and unintentionally accentuating your breasts to him, making him let out a groan as he reached for you.

“Of course you are.”

He pulled you back down onto him like he’d imagined before, your bare chest against his own, his large hands holding your waist as your nails gently scraped down his arms.

“Fancy a round two?” He asked, one of his hands already beginning to head back towards your clit.

Your eyes closed as you sighed contently as you felt his fingers press against you, enjoying the feel of him, “I could be convinced.”

As you were straddling him, you felt him harden more than he was against you, and you opened your eyes to meet his own, darkened with lust, his fingers still moving against you as his other hand gripped your hip.

“Oh princess, how about I make you come for a fourth time tonight? And then again. And then again. And again after that. Would that convince you?”

You bit your lip, pushing yourself against his hand and grinned at him, “I reckon it would. Or maybe I’ll just ride you instead.”

He picked up the pace of his fingers against you, and you let out a moan from above him as one of your own hands covered his on your hip, making him smile cheekily at you,

“Ride me then, darling, and then I’ll make sure you can’t walk in the morning.”

[clonehub]

What are your thoughts on the narrative parallels between slick and dogma? I think the two have very simmiliar storylines that tcw didnt really expore in more depth as being paralleled bc I thought it was interesting that slick appeared to be "obedient" or rule abiding while plotting his active betrayal of the republic and by extension his siblings meanwhile dogma embodies "obedience" and in turn this obedience leads him to allying himself with the republic and a jedi who is actively betraying his siblings bc he doesnt see them as a people

both are then vilified by their siblings even though to them in that moment they were doing the right thing, and maybe this is just my own perception bc I see dogma embraced by the fandom as a whole while slick is just a straight up villain but I think there is really interesting nuance with slicks storyline and its interesting to hold it up for comparison to dogma

this is such an interesting ask anon! although I'd say their defining traits are a lack of loyalty and a presence of it.

As much as Slick loved his brothers, he betrayed them for a freedom only he would be able to experience. He'd put himself above anyone and anything else--and yeah he got paid for it, which would be appealing to someone who has no income whatsoever--but his loyalty to his family and the Republic stopped existing barely a month into the war.

Dogma, on the other hand, is loyal to a fault. We can tell that his thing is loyalty and not obedience, because when Rex (who outranks him) tells Dogma to drop his weapon and stop siding with Krell all the time, Dogma can't. Krell never said "defend me to the death". Krell never told Dogma to snitch and watch out for complainers. And when Krell was actively hurting and killing his family--as much as it pained Dogma--he still chose Krell until it was too late. Dogma doesn't say "you made me kill my brothers" until after....Krell had killed a bunch of clones and dogma had witnessed all of it. And yet, he went to stop Rex and his team from hunting Krell down. Even though I highly doubt there's a SOP for a Jedi-turned-Sith and what to do with them, common sense would have said "this guy is breaking the rules and is actively treasonous, so we are no longer obligated to follow their orders lest we turn treasonous too". I think it's interesting that Dogma didn't view his going against his brothers as siding with Krell's treason.

I think Slick and Dogma represent two extremes on the scale of loyalty that clones are expected to express. Slick wasn't loyal at all, and Dogma was too loyal--to the entirely wrong person. Neither could cope with their circumstances (not that I blame Slick) so they both ended up suffering for it.

A lot of people in the fandom thought Slick was a Total Villain for a long time before the genpop came to terms with the fact that the Jedi are in fact in charge of a slave army. Now more people see the nuance in him, and can empathize with his desire to leave the military by any means possible.

Of course, when it comes to clones going against the grain, we can't ignore Cut. Rex briefly attempts to accuse him of being disloyal to his brothers, but Cut's in a unique situation in that wanting to survive can't really be pinned against him--he was like Slick in that he hated the war and he hated killing, but he was an opportunist where Slick went out of his way to create destruction that would allow him to escape.

(which, now that I think about it--I don't remember any hints that Slick actually tried to leave after he betrayed everyone? like it's day time when their positions are exposed. and its night when he's caught. its been a long time since I've seen the episode, but his mentioning that assaj offered him freedom I would think would be paired with him actually trying to seize it)

Either way, Slick and Dogma are two very interesting Loyalty Case Studies. Their betrayal of their brothers--however permanent for Slick, and however brief for Dogma--would have left a profound impact on the 501st, and I would have loved to see the rippling effects in the company and in Rex.

[pandoraylamcraziness]

Analysis of ep 8

Warning:  spoilers for ep 8 and preview of ep 9. This is a long ass post. Edit: I’m very sorry this is VERY long and I tried to cut it in two parts but tmblr hates my guts ;_;

Seeing this gifset of the paralels of the Fall of Trust between Sean and White got me thinking.

I don’t know what to think of Sean. I mean, in the preview it seems like he knows there’s a sibling. 

He suspect something. But I have no idea how he came to that conclusion. Maybe he found something else (like the fandon headcanon that he found the application papers for the diplomatic job. Who knows). Bc I think it would be grasping at straws if all he had was: 1) the fact Black is acting different 2) and the glasses and contact lenses 

There’s hole between the time Sean woke up and found the glasses and the time White woke up and found himself tied that we didn’t see.

Why did he did that?  I think he found something else but didn’t give him answers, only more questions. That’s why he tied White, bc he wanted to ask him questions and not being able to escape. But somewhere after White woke up he changed his mind. He left way too abruptily.

Let’s take what happened when White woke up:

- Sean is dressed. Metaphorical armor put on again. - He was waiting in the balcony for White to wake up, like he couldn’t bear the thought of looking at him, unlike when he woke up and spent a lot of time looking at White sleep (and caresing him with his fingers under the guise of seeing if he could wake him up, don’t think we didn’t see that Sean)

They had been drinking the night before. They fell asleep together. If Black (White) was someone he’s not who he says (a spy, a sibling, whatever) and lying to him and meaning harm, the logical conclusion to waking up tied in his own bed is that he’s been found.

Yet. Yet Black (White) first reaction was to call for Sean.

He’s screaming at the door, like he thinks Sean has been taken, like he fears for him.

That’s the first thing that didn’t go how Sean expected it. So he tries to keep going.

He tries to act menacing. But even if Black (White) is startled to find it was Sean who tied him, he’s not acting scared.

He’s not scared. He’s annoyed, yes, but he’s not scared of Sean. 

And then, when Sean tries to be intimidating (that way you leaned into his personal space, looming over him and talking in his ear is more sexy than you intended Sean, I see you), he takes a step back to regain his bearings and THIS happens:

(very nice legs courtesy of Gun)

THAT wasn’t something Sean could have ever thought it would happen. Fight him, hit him, do some serious damage like the real Black would do -or someone passing for him and pretending he’s weaker than he seems- ? Yes.  But not this. Grab his waist with his legs and push him close to him? I don’t think Sean in a million years would have thought he'd end like this after he made the decision of tying him.

He was BITING him!!! Black (White) could do real damage in this posture. He could kick Sean in the groin, could bite his ear (and not in a sexy way), could put so much pressure with his legs on his ribs that Sean would have trouble breathing. He could put his thighs around Sean’s neck (again, not in a sexy way) and press until Sean would be unconscious.  But he didn’t do anything of that. He just bit his arm like a dog (lol) and push him close and Sean was too offended and perplexed he didn’t know what to do. 

Nothing in how White reacted was what he expected. He didn't act like he was 'caught'. He didn’t act like he was in serious danger. He acted like Sean was messing with him, like it was a training exercise or smt like that. Or just plain Sean being an asshole. He was pissed, yes, but he wasn’t acting like he was in actual danger, just like they were messing with each other.

Sean was flustered.

So he said his snarky remark and flew the fuck out of there.

I wonder what was on Sean’s head when he got out. What he was thinking? Certainly nothing about this went in any way he predicted.

His new feelings for White has been brewing for some time, but all his interactions with Black (White) leaves him too surprised and perplexed to actually stop and think about what he feels about it. He almost never got the time to process those feelings or think about them. And then of course, he had to suffer Tawi’s presence at the university, so all thoughts about Black (White) flew out of the window.

He never catches a break, the poor thing.

He looks drained.

---

Now, back to White. One thing that took me by surprise was Todd coming to Black’s house like nothing. Yes, he brought groceries and he said he came bc White didn’t contact him in a while. But the first thing I thought was  “what if Sean left a camera or something? Did the crossed each other when Sean left the building? Why Todd came unannounced, what if White was with someone?? Gram, Sean or Eugene??” I even thought for a moment that maybe Sean tied White bc he knew Tawi was gonna be at the Uni and didn’t want to see him, but that doesn’t make sense.

---

Now 6 little (i tried ;__;) details that left me thinking:

1. Sean’s jacket

Happiness Loyalty Origins Constancy Family Commitment Teamwork

I only noticed them when I was making screencaps and I had to take a moment to stare at the screen bc holy shit. If all of that is not Sean at his core (and White too) I don’t know what it is. (jesus, the details of this show are killing me) (also, damn Gun with those legs. What? I have eyes!)

2. The thing White does with Sean’s ear. 

Maybe I’m thinking too much, but I think (maybe) it’s gonna be important at some point. Like a White thing. Maybe at some moment Black is gonna pretend to be White (like the trailer when he spits after kissing Sean) and this is gonna be something that tells him he’s not White.

3.  The funny thing is that Sean thinks Black is too drunk to feel him touching him and tying him -sure the real Black wouldn’t leave himself be this vulnerable, no matter how drunk he is, much less with Sean- when the truth is that White drinks vodka like it’s water, so this is just White subconsciously feeling safe around Sean.

Look at him. He’s smol and with a liver of titanium. If there’s an alcohol competition at the garage he would be the only one standing, while the others are either passed out (I think Sean would be the first which is hilarious as hell) or being messy drunks (Gram would be an emotional drunk, talking about imposible love and pining about Black; Sean we already saw he’s a sticky one, affectionate drunk. He would be hugging everyone and being all over White, pinching his cheeks and telling him how soft they’re before passing out cold and using his leg as a pillow leaving White all “???????????!!!”; Gumpa would be the surprise. He becomes the Problematic One™, cheery to the point of concern, jumping with Yok and seeing who comes with the wildest and dumbest ideas ever. That’s why he doesn’t drink. Yok is delighted. White is more concerned by the minute. They had to tie a rope to his waist so he don’t wander off and set fire to something (Yok is grinning like a maniac. White hopes he doesn’t remember anything tomorrow. In fact, he hopes no one remembers anything tomorrow. Specially after Sean drapes himself over White while Gram looks to the point of crying and Yok hollers at them and Gumpa says very seriously “This is all my work” before having a fit snickering)

(I’m dying to see a scene like this or one in which White drinks Sean under the table and he’s like fresh as a rose and Sean is red as a tomato until he falls asleep on his shoulder lol. But well, we always have fic lol)

4. I think Sean went to Black’s house with something in mind.

(this was very sexy of him)

Maybe getting him drunk and take a look over his things, maybe just to get himself drunk enough to be able to thank Black. Who knows. But he didn’t expect how things developed. This Black that cared was still a novelty. A novelty that scared him shitless bc he liked it. He liked the new Black and didn’t know what to do with that. He sure didn’t expect to spill his guts, and he didn’t expect Black to react this tender with him. 

(I see you White. Where are you looking at?)

5. The way he says to Gumpa he has been sleeping in Black’s home.

This is after he says that. He’s looking at Gumpa like he’s trying to see if Gumpa knows. If he thinks it’s also strange Sean slept in Black’s house. If anyone is smarter enough or pays enough attention to dettails, it has to be Gumpa. He has to know something. Anything.

And this is his face when Gumpa acts like everything is normal. Like there’s nothing out of the ordinary. After Gumpa gives him information for their next hit and Sean acts like it’s not something big and to be excited about. It feels like it’s the face of “I have to tell you something about Black”, or maybe “Do you really don’t think there’s something wrong with Black?”. This is the face of someone who has made a decision. 

6. The Fall of Trust

I think he doesn’t know who the hell is White -or maybe he has an idea-, he’s trying to figure out if he can trust him. He’s trying to figure out this new Black, or whoever he is.

So he falls. Figuratively and literally.

They both did:

And White catches him.

This is the most beautiful visualization of what letting oneself fall in love is. 

This is the face of someone who has been proven rigth.

“Oh. He cares about me”

“But he’s scared”

“He’s scared. He’s lying to me and he’s scared of nothing. But he’s scared of this”

“He’s gonna try to act like it’s nothing”

“And I don’t want him to”

“I have to do something”

“I like him and I’m at peace with myself”

White is giving him an out. To put aside what whatever happened between them and talk about other things. The Plan.  But he’s also being incredibly honest at the same time. White doesn’t know Sean suspects he’s not who he says he is. He’s asking a question he thinks Sean will take at face value, like they’re talking about social fighters stuff. What he’s really asking is “What I’d be doing if I didn’t came here? If I didn’t meet you guys? If I didn’t meet you. Who would I be? If you didn’t meet me. Who would you be?”

And Sean gets it. He gets what White is talking about. And he’s surprised. Again. He sighs. “I shouldn’t be surprised at this point” This is another reason. He gets even more determined then.

He takes a step closer. “I have to make him understand”

“I got you”

“He’s still scared”

“I got you”

“I’m not gonna let you go”

Some might be thinking this is Sean trying to manipulate White into trusting him with the things he’s hiding. But even if that’s true, Sean truly shot himself in the foot. Because this kiss?

This kiss was real.

Ps: Also the detail of how, even if White kissed him back, he didn’t grab Sean. I think the moment he tells Sean the truth (or maybe not, seeing the preview) is when he’s gonna grab Sean with his two hands and kiss him like he’s never gonna let him go.